#I dunno what I've just written

[colorless-vector]

He doesn't have any personal things on his wall or bed after his brothers left. These things were personal and only for The Bad Batch to see. For the Empire he has no petsonality. Almost all the people around him were strangers. Crosshair was alone in a place full of people. The only ones who understood him had left him. He wasn't able to show his feelings to the people who didn't see him like his brothers did.

He was so lonely and angy😭😭😭

He was like a teenager with adolescent maximalism

And later in prison he had nothing at all and he didn't want to have anything. He understood how mislead he was and decided that he should accept his imprisonment. He thought he didn't deserve good things anymore and lost hope in everything (until the little sunshine came to save him from prison and himself in his self-loathing). His family abandoned him (in his point of view), the Empire betrayed him. He only sent one message only to warn the batch to keep Omega away from the Empire. After doing that he almost gave up on himself

He must have felt so broken

[idontlikeem]

also like. losing is a part of being a sports fan. so as much as i've been like 'it doesn't really matter because of all that we've won in the past!' that doesn't actually mean anything. lots of teams lose all the time and you don't have to justify watching them or give a reason for why they're still worth your time and attention as a fan. this kind of feels like a very uniquely tumblr thing, and i think it's been shaped a little bit by a few people going around frantically asking others to like...fix how they feel about the team's performance for them, but like...

...you can just watch a team that isn't very good, because you like the players and that's your team. it's ok. you don't need to have a set of reasons to trot out to give to others who have decided to put their bad feelings around losing at your feet.

idk. i feel like pens fans are in a weird spot because we've had so much success for so long that maybe some of us are feeling like we either need to be blindly confident the success will return quickly, or we need to have a bunch of justifications for still watching?

it's enough to have just selected this team as your team and watch them. it doesn't need to be deeper than that. none of us are hockey execs or GMs or coaches, and it's ok to just watch a game and be like 'hell yeah' when they win or 'man' when they lose and that's it. we don't all need to be searching for answers in order to be here.

[sysig]

Nice healthy obsession you got there (Patreon)

[glacierbash]

thinking about that one post about "he's a girl to me" or whatever. and that has me thinking about heavensward so much. and also stormblood! kinda just ffxiv in general but I feel the later expansions have this issue less but ESPECIALLY like. estinien, aymeric, and zenos when compared to the actual women in the expansion. it feels to me like the women of the expansion are by and far overlooked by people for the sake of the men and that general "he's so girl to me" contributes to it. Like there ARE women right there you know. like there are very very very good women just a few feet to the left. you can talk about how girlie estinien is to you but like. ysayle is right there. you can talk about how babygirl zenos is but also. there's fordola. you know that right. like you can enjoy the women too. it's ok.

and ofc genuine actual transfem headcanons are SO fucking good. I love them so much. keep going. But like that post has said, when it's only men in the fandom being treated as "he's so girl" (AND NEVER WOMAN!!!! ALWAYS GIRL!!!!!) it gets really really fucking tiring.

i love estinien! I really like Zenos! I get it! And if they are your favorite characters and you want specifically content about them and to make content specifically about them that is FINE!! but also, holy shit is it exhausting when it's like 99% about them and not a single glimpse towards the women of the story. yeah ffxiv's writing has a huuuuuuge fucking issue with women. and also.

[tvrningout]

THE DANCING DRUID | BALDUR'S GATE 3 AU

you remember now. foraging for herbs, goblins swarming you, a painful blow to your skull, and then... nothing. how is it you came to be aboard a nautiloid?

you are more concerned about the tadpole in your head than how it got there. you are more curious how you are not a splatter of viscera upon the beach. who cares how it happened? you have no idea where you are and ache all over. ► could the goblins have something to do with it?

you have never known goblins to align themselves with illithids, but you suppose there is a first time for everything. no matter your theories, the pressing matter of your tadpole hangs over your head; you need to find a healer. soon.

born to a drow mother and human father, chiyo grew up in a small village in the wilds of faerun. she felt more at home among the flora than people who eyed her warily, though, often exploring the forest, marking paths to pretty fields and little hideaways. it seemed to come natural to chiyo, like she belonged among the bubbling brooks and whispering leaves. it felt natural.

noticing her affinity for nature, her father taught her how to harness its magic and how to honor and serve silvanus; her mother, too, taught her the teachings of eilistraee, the goddess who had wished for the drow to return to the surface as well as the deity she had once served as a cleric. the young half-drow sometimes doubted that the gods would truly watch over someone so insignificant, but she learned and worshipped them nonetheless.

there came a day when her father decided it was time that they return to the circle he left long ago. his attempts to create one of his own had been unsuccessful over the years, and chiyo could learn from the druids there, find a community that she would never find in the village they currently lived in. so they left for the emerald grove, and there they have stayed.

additional notes:

chiyo is a druid of the circle of the land, focusing more on magic that manipulates the elements than wild shaping; eilistraee also plays a part in her magic/combat, making her partial to blades and allowing her to use spellsong to heal and buff/debuff those around her. she may wield moonfire as well, though this spell is mainly intended to provide light rather than having any combat use.

she and her family have lived in the emerald grove for the past 8 years, making chiyo 28 in this verse. she's familiar with the druids and tieflings, most likely on good terms with most of them, but i won't assume close friendships unless plotted/given the okay!

she still has similar issues to her original verses, such as struggling to make real connections and opening herself up and being vulnerable. even so, she makes the decision to continue travelling with her companions not only because it's the right thing to do and her fate hangs in the balance, but because she grows attached to them.

i'm writing chiyo as " tav, " but i don't mind one bit writing her as a companion -- basically if you want your muse to be the group's leader, just let me know <3

i won't be using icons for this verse, but i'll have a screenshot of chiyo's appearance below!

i'm sure i'll add more here as things come to mind!

[tvrningout-a]

i should've switched to writing original stuff ages ago bc i could've been overcoming writer's block if i did :' )

[revolutionarysuicide]

man i love the jetbrains ides but they take up soooo much memory i wish they would just rewrite their ides in a native language...

[pestilentbrood]

You have a divorced man following your account. How does that make you feel?

Well either the themes of divorce that keep appearing in my stories are resonating with you or they are Incredibly Awkward . Or Both. Or neither. A secret third thing, maybe. Infinite possibilities

[thefamilyaberration]

honestly if I write something my words are fair game

obviously I'm not saying to steal a whole work and pass it off as your own, but if you read something I've written and you like a particular line, and think it'd perfectly describe someone/thing from your story I say go ahead.

I've just written the line "His hands are so soft… Calloused, but soft. Kind." and off the top of my head I can think of at least 5 pairings that it would work well with

[fridayyy-13th]

me a few days ago: oh yknow what would be fun? writing a jmart new year's eve oneshot! i bet it'd be sweet and--

me at 3:13 am tonight, working on the second draft: wh. why is it angsty. why did i make them so sad. what the hell happened

[veterveter]

"I have this idea," Andrés says, gesturing with his hand, slowly, deliberately, adding gravitas to his words, "Or more like a plan. For how my life will be. How our lives will be." Martín should tell him. Any good friend would surely confess to knowing what he knows, about her, about him, about this doomed quality that all of their lives seem to share.

Hey hey hey, have this Gatsby AU I wrote for myself (and then relinquished all rights to it to @sorrydearie beloved, bye it's yours now) ✨

[elytrafemme]

this singular poem is fucking 7 pages long and it’s nearing 8. like i know ocean vuong’s done it with one of this poems in night sky with exit wounds and richard siken’s done it a billion times and those two are like my biggest inspirations. but damn this truly is so long

[viijaya]

[boyinthevoide]

I just said a thing in a conversation and feel the need to share it with Tumblr because I think you lot will understand better.

"The English language is a box of paints and I am very specific in the shade of colour I will use to paint my pictures"

What I mean is that certain words that seem like they're synonyms mean different things to me (thank you Terry Pratchett/Tiffany Aching for pointing this out). Like shouting or exclaiming. Exclaiming seems surprised or excited, more positive, where shouting feels more negative.

Or like I use really specific words to communicate exactly what I'm trying to say, like specifically using shambling because I'm picturing something walking like a zombie, or glistening because "shiny" wouldn't do and I specifically mean "shiny in a wet way"

[mrghostrat]

dust and light

i swear to somebody, the actual good omens parallels were a complete accident when i wrote this scene in BNF, where crowley is a writer in the agnes nutter fandom and aziraphale is his big bang partner. i've been on fire ever since i realised.

"The way you talked about the lighting in that last scene was just so striking— I really want to capture it somehow; find a way to paint the different layers of sunbeams and dust motes, just as you’ve written them.” Aziraphale’s grin caught himself quite off guard. “What are you planning?” Crowley shifted with an exaggerated, bashful shrug, but his grin remained steady on his face. “Not sure, just some kind of metaphor about the light and the warmth, probably. Maybe note some stark differences between the bookshop and a dusty room with no light, or a bright place with no dust. Each feeling equally inadequate compared to the shop, and that being… Er, I dunno, a reflection of their lives without one another in it, or something.”

[three--rings]

One thing I haven't seen a lot of talk about in the fandom so far is about the financials of this season.

It took us two whole months to get a confirmation of renewal from Max, and I talked at the time that I think there was probably a lot of heated negotiations going on at the time with contracts and that's why it took as long as it did.

I think we see a huge number of indications of the compromises that were made in order for S2 to be made. One obvious one that has been talked about is being making in in NZ instead of LA, to save $.

But there's also the eight episodes instead of ten. And then the cast aspect. One downside of moving overseas was having to fly out and house the cast, not just pay day wages.

We knew immediately about Guz Khan not coming back, losing Ivan as a character. At the time I was sad but I thought it had the air of a pretty harshly practical call. If you went through the main recurring cast and said okay which character will affect the fewest things, has the least character interactions of anyone? It would be Ivan. (With the only competition being The Swede IMO, but he's Stede's crew and therefore a little more central.)

And then this season started and we got first The Swede sidelined and taken out of major scenes. And then I noticed that different members of the crew were simply absent for long stretches, like Wee John isn't around for ep 5 at all. And then Buttons takes flight.

Lucius and Pete aren't at the party for most of it. Fang isn't in the torture scene. Roach and Fang aren't in the bar. Etc. SCHEDULING IS HAPPENING.

The new characters are almost entirely played by NZ local actors, which is great, but also...cheaper.

In other words there are big signs that they did everything possible to give us a giant cast of almost everyone we love from S1, and cool new characters, in the most economical way possible.

And I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful we got S2, and it looks great, and it's well written, I'm having a blast, and we get to spend more time with this awesome cast.

But I also kinda think it needs to be said that the cost-cutting shows. That it shouldn't have been only 8 episodes, the pacing is off. That we miss every time someone from the ensemble isn't on screen.

That despite what they've put on screen looking very good, there's far less costuming budget, there's less elaborate sets, and it's a little disappointing. And it's clear it's not a lack of will or talent or vision but blatantly lack of money.

Look, streaming networks want brilliant shows that people love (that will get them to subscribe) but they very don't want to pay anyone to make them. That's like, the whole moment we're having right now.

Max puts out promos about how great it is to not have unions messing shit up in NZ. Well I have friends who are union costumers in LA and guess what union costumers did amazing last season. This season, well, I guess Stede got three whole shirts, so that's cool.

So I dunno. It's just stuff I think about. I'm not trying to be negative about the show in any way. I'm extremely happy with this season; I love it more than well, possibly any show I've ever been in fandom for.

But I see you, Max. You're cheap. You weren't that cheap when you were called HBO.