for @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account look hannah they hold hands <3
She’s been standing still for two minutes.
Still, right beside the door, she has barely taken any steps inside the room. Barely made any sound. She has only closed the door behind her, and that with the faintest of sounds she could manage, because she can’t afford any louder torture in her ears. She can’t, and neither can he.
Strange, she thinks. She wants to laugh. Her presence had always been loud enough.
Yet she’s standing still, two minutes already since she entered the room and she hasn’t received a single glance. A flinch, of the ones that make her heart shatter in her chest, and she hates to think about the reason why. Not even a sign, something showing the acknowledgement of her standing there, forever waiting for something she doubts will ever come.
She never thought being ignored would evoke any emotion other than rage.
He’s staring out of the window. From the haunted look in his eyes, she suspects his view is entirely different than hers. There’s a sheet of paper laid on the table before him, and a pen, waiting, almost dusty from the neglect of what feels like centuries but it’s actually a few hours. If she looks closer, she will discern smudges on the paper, half-finished words that echo like screams, or like being interrupted by a scream. She wonders how many times his words died in his throat, to be replaced by hollow wails. His hands, grasping at the fabric of his shirt, knuckles turning white as they clench and grip, fingers trembling with pain, the same one that drips like poison from his stare, is enough of an answer. Too many times.
She takes a shuddering breath.
“Jaskier.”
He flinches. Of course. He hasn’t even noticed that she’s been waiting there. Or that the sun has set. Or that his fingers are close to ripping his shirt to shreds. Of course. He flinches, and turns around to look at her, and she wishes she could actually say he’s looking at her and not at a ghost, or a shadow, or a mocking figure belonging to the past. She chases his eyes with hers, feeling almost ashamed that she wants, no, needs to hold his gaze.
She will some day. But she fears that day won’t come soon at all.
Finally, his grip on the shirt relaxes, leaving it crumpled, and it’s terribly similar to the way she had found him lying there, moments before he was torn apart. Not so long ago.
He stares at her then, an old, familiar light in his eyes. Comforting. His lips twitch unpleasantly. “Oh, Yennefer.” His voice sounds distant. Less than it did. Still. More than it ever should. Yennefer has a feeling that’s what necromancers are used to hearing. She raises an eyebrow, as if in desperate self-defence, but the sudden shadow that covers his eyes as realization dawns on him almost makes her curse herself. “Have you been standing there for…” he swallows, a hint of apology in his tone, “long?”
She hates it. Hates how her chest aches. But this is no time to show it and she hopes it never will be. She shakes her head, her lips curving into something close to a smile. “It doesn’t matter.” Then, as though to ease the pain, as though she doesn’t know the answer, she nods at the forgotten sheet. “Did you write anything?”
Jaskier smiles in a way that almost reminds her of what had been. And oh, how she craves that time. “Care to be educated on versification, witch?” He raises an eyebrow, teasing. The bastard. “By me?”
Yennefer grimaces in return, as if completing a performance of mutual fakeness. “Don’t flatter yourself, bard. I’m only asking if the sheet I gave you is wasted. On the other hand,” she tilts her head, smug, “your useless smudges are less of a waste than your words.”
A huff, humourless. And then silence. She wishes it felt like a win. Only that, this time, Jaskier continues to stare at her and his eyes are screaming with something close to a plea, as though begging for a salvation that would never come.
She would be tired of saving him, if she could. The fact that she can’t makes her heart flutter in a way that makes her knees aching to give in.
Her eyes fly to a waiting lute case, patient beside the bed, and suddenly she craves to hear the sound of the lute strings again, in a melodic deceit from the present. They hadn’t been touched since she fixed them. Two weeks. Maybe three. She has lost count, and doubts Jaskier has cared to keep any record for a long time.
Still.
Slowly, she approaches the bed, and lifts the case from the floor. With the corner of her eye she glances at Jaskier standing up, probably to say he’s done something all day, or prove that he can. He can’t. She knows too well now.
The lute feels heavy in her hands, the weight of past melodies, and Jaskier is staring at her in confusion. Or hope. Or despair. She’s tired of guessing wrong. Only this feels right anymore.
“Here,” she says and gives him the lute, and it feels like giving away her heart. And he takes it.
His hands are trembling.
She remembers them. The hands. Bloody, and broken, fingers in the wrong place, shaking with pain and terror and every scream he had yet to utter, unable to, only whispering, Yennefer, my hands, please, they did, they broke, please, Yen, my hands, please, please, and laughing, and shaking, and clinging and laughing and she’d seen worse, far worse, but then again she hadn’t.
She remembers them, and remembers how they were before. And now, resting on the strings, they’re close, so close to what had been, and yet so far away. He stares at the lute, a foreign touch, and then raises his head to look at her, eyes wide in hopeful despair. “You think…” he clears his voice as though to hide the pain, “you think I can play?”
A deep breath. Yennefer lets herself smile, bittersweet. Somehow it feels right. “I think you should try.”
He does.
He sits on the bed, and strokes the strings, and his eyes well at the sound. Hers too. But she doesn’t admit it. She only sits beside him.
And then there’s a melody, one she doesn’t remember existing, and his voice is still rough and strained, but when he starts singing, something inside her settles. He’s looking at her.
They’re tender, the words. Speaking of a love found again, a sad story. Longing, and a dark-haired lady appearing through the darkness. Of a long-craved comfort. It feels familiar more than it sounds. No, it sounds like a song to be sung in great halls, to make the audiences weep and rise from their seats in applause, a promise to be heard throughout every cold winter breeze. But it feels like a hug.
And when suddenly the music stops, and Jaskier winces, Yennefer thinks it’s been too long since any of them had that comfort. So she places the lute aside and takes his hands in hers, just like then, only that now they’re not broken, but gentle and warm and, as he lets her hold them, and gazes at her, they’re grateful. She holds them, fingers softly working through the knots of freshly healed wounds, trying to cover up their memory with a caring touch. She holds them, and he’s looking at her, giving himself away freely, for once, and the ever present shadow seems to lift from his eyes, as though he’s staring at the sun after a long time.
And even when she’s finished mending, she still holds them. And meets his gaze. And there, fingers entwining and eyes locking together, it feels like puzzle pieces finally put into place.
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Speaking of Adonia (and because I have been thinking about him Nonstop, Unfortunately, That is How It Is,)... this is his sister, Ophelia! She is dead. (”Soma is that how you start introducing characters”-- yes it is)
She is the youngest of Adonia’s siblings! (in order it is Adonia, Olysseus, Photios (Phos) and Ophelia)! When Adonia ran away from Ruthia to the Feywild, Ophelia was the one appointed to be the next Queen. The Rulers of Ruthia were not picked from eldest to youngest, but their potential to be a good King/Queen and move the Kingdom forward! Esp bc Ruthia had no significant military force, relying on its strength as a trade hub and natural protection from the land.
Ophelia was really good at numbers/political maneuvers! A very practical person who was a prodigy from a very young age, she really excelled in every field. She is also somewhat short compared to the other Dawn Elves, but still tall compared to a human woman.
Her hair accessory is very similar to the one Adonia has, and that is because all members of the Royal Family have that! It is something passed down for generations, and there is at least Someone in the family who is good with magical/magicked artifacts (and that person right now is Adonia). Every generation redesigns it while keeping the gemstone intact, as a gesture of loyalty to the kingdom and the desire to always make it a better place.
“Didn’t you say she is dead” she is! Most of the Dawn Elves are! But how is that any of your business. Don’t worry about that, look at these cute elves. Nothing bad happened ever. Do not worry about it. Do not worry about the fact that she was supposed to be the Queen when Adonia left and now 80% of them are dead. Do not worry ab
edit: i forgot. design was made by sleepysunny @ deviantart
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