#I feel accomplished but also tired

[jess-abides]

Happy Monday

I’m 🙂 grateful 🙂 all 🙂 the 🙂 fucking 🙂 time 🙂

[an-unexpected-trollogy]

Oh to be Suzanne Collins and have little social media presence and to write a book regarding whatever current societal trend is bothering her at the moment.

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....

[jagerstian]

Aaauuuywhsskaghhhhhh

[newtness532]

it took me nearly an hour to write 160ish words, this is so slow and annoying

[screambirdscreaming]

ok this is a long fucking shot but does anyone out here know anything about. Allergies but rather than having itchy runny-nose symptoms you just feel systemically like shit. Like fatigue, nausea, vague headache, moderate-to-severe excercise intolerance, that sort of thing. But correlated to like, pollen exposure. Or just air quality in general?

The best ballpark diagnosis I have is asthma, but I've never actually had An Asthma Attack so I don't know if that's.... right. And even if it is, I can't really find good research or resources on managing systematic effects of asthma at this like... non-acute, non life-threatening severity.

Sometimes with weird medical shit like this, there's information that exists if only you can find the right keyword to search.... maybe somebody's got something?

Or even just, it'd be nice to hear if anyone elae deals with this and I'm not, like, completely insane*

*for this. other insanity unspecified.

[hybridkilljoys]

I know people say youre never too old to improve your art but hoh boy does it suck when burnout has made it impossible to improve as an artist as much as you wanted to in the past ten years and now im slowly accepting im going to feel like a mediocre artist forever :')

[vriendenboekjes]

honestly i'll be glad when the year is over because it has sucked major ass

[jattendschaton]

Hey oi no. A milestone is a milestone!!! You’re doing fantastically, and congratulations on 80 kudos! ❤️

<3 Thank you! It means a lot to me <3 It feels like a very silly thing to care about because it's not like actually all that impressive in this fandom (there are other fandoms I've written for where like 10 kudos makes me jump for joy, but ML is a lot bigger) and I especially feel silly when I know there are so many writers that have multiple fics at 1k+ kudos who would never give me the time of day. But like, why bother waiting for a miracle to happen? I just want to feel honored anyone read it and take the time to enjoy my dumb little arbitrary milestones!

[novantinuum]

lmaooo i finally encountered the Gloom Hands of Hell and Phantom Ganny

absolutely cheesed those binches

[spock-smokes-weed]

gonna get heavy for a min so scroll if you don't want to see that

it's really hard to open up to my parents about being suicidal because they always freak the fuck out about it. this is probably an ironic thing to say, but I wish I could just tell people "hey I really want to kill myself" without it being a big deal

like YES i know it's a big deal. That's why I'm talking to you about it! the last thing I need is you panicking and screaming at me "why do you want to kill yourself?!!?" gee idk cheryl, if i knew that I probably wouldn't want to kill myself.

suffering with extreme depression is bad, but my parents going in total freakout mode is somehow so much worse. because it stops being about me and what im suffering through, and becomes about not upsetting my parents.

so every day I just have to get up and tell them "oh yea im fine" when I have casual thoughts about wanting to die because I know if I told them, it wouldn't make a damn difference. i would just have to bottle those emotions right back up because my parents have the emotional maturity of toddlers

im just so fucking exhausted, ya know? I don't think I'll ever act on it cus im a coward and dying is scarier than being alive, but moving through life drained of all your joy, having your brain hold death and suicide over your head, is a miserable existence. I just want to be fucking happy again but the mountains look so large to scale

[belovedspector]

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[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[loumauve]

-

[v-exian]

@howgalling AGHHH I FINISHED IT, after many sketches and design confusion, I am actually very happy with the drawing ^^

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i feel like life right now is me trying to juggle approximately 127 different things, and none of them are life-or-death but they’re all equally important to me, so those 127 things are like simultaneous balls in the air that i am holding up while the adderall shortage makes it harder to remember what they are let alone keep from dropping them, and at this point even my to-do lists have lists which got so out of control that i stopped even keeping lists but also i’m so tired every day that i’m lucky if i get a single thing done and if i don’t set alarms then i depression-sleep for fourteen hours because oh yeah my adderall was also the only thing that helped my bipolar meds work all the way so i’m crying and thinking about everything that makes me sad 24/7 while i try to keep juggling