#I feel as though I've collected the majority of the art of him

[diseasedcube]

Just tallied up my Cutthroat album, and *drum roll*

3976 photos!!

basically 4000. How tf so much art of one character exists in such a tiny fandom baffles me, especially since twitter seems to be a hidden gold mine of good but hard to find content that I’ve only scratched the surface of

[lattenha]

TERRIBLE TWOS — P. SUNGHOON

SYNOPSIS! A rash decision on your end causes you and Sunghoon to break up. What you think is for the best turns out to be the complete opposite, actually. Cue two years later when a random encounter with your ex forces you to revisit past feelings that has never quite fully departed from either of you. PAIRING! Chairman!Sunghoon x Fem!Reader WC! 11.4k (Got carried away)

GENRE/CW! Exes getting back together, fluff, slight angst if you squint, smut (fingering, brief mentions of fem oral receiving, sunghoon has a 7 inch cock; i headcanon that, unprotected sex, missionary, creampie, lots of tongue kissing), swearing, reader is in denial just a tad bit, ft. non-idol!yunjin, reader is a struggling fine arts major, etc. MDNI

A/N: originally, i intended for this to be a simple one shot but it somehow turned out to be greater than that in the end lol. this was also my first attempt at writing smut; i've always wanted to try it but damn is it kinda hard. i feel like the title doesn't match or capture the story as good but whatever-- it used to be called 'seasons,' yet that didn't make sense either so... terrible twos it is! i hope you enjoy <3

“Y/n?” 

A trace of uncertainty laces the man's voice, his mind racing with the possibility that he might have mistaken a stranger for someone from his past. Internally, he winces at the prospect of this awkward mix-up, dreading such an encounter with a random person. He clings to the hope that his intuition proves accurate.

Could it really be her? Amid the bustling crowd, she always managed to stand out, an unmistakable aura surrounding her. Her presence eclipsed even the most vibrant of settings, radiating a unique energy that outshone a field of flowers.

When he tentatively calls out her name in a hushed tone, she spins around on her heel, and for an ephemeral moment, Sunghoon feels as though he's stepped into a scene from a classic romance film.

Time stills and so does he. 

Each of your movements steals his breath away. The way your hair dances in harmony with the wind, and how your eyelashes cast the most delicate shadow upon your high cheekbones. Your gradual unveiling leaves him struggling to swallow past an inexplicable lump in his throat. 

Sunghoon notices the moment your eyes widen. Behind those enchanting orbs, he discerns a flicker of nostalgia and a touch of melancholy. During your time together, he had the uncanny ability to read those emotions hidden within the depths of your eyes.

“Sunghoon…” You say no louder than a mere whisper that could easily get lost in the summer’s wind that passes through the both of you. 

Your heart throbs in your chest. The biological response is far too overwhelming that you can feel your stomach tying itself in double knots. You think you might need to be pointed to the nearest bathroom so you can barf up the swarm of butterflies that disturb your system. No doubt, does crossing paths with an ex whom you share a long history with manage to do that to you. 

“H-how are you?” You’re the first to strike up a conversation despite that being Sunghoon’s unspoken responsibility. 

How am I? Sunghoon has to brace himself to collect his messy thoughts. 

“I’m pretty good, and yourself?”

His response is curt and short. In any other setting, he would have elaborated on his answer but he wasn’t sure how much information was too much to reveal to an ex regarding the state of his well-being. You nod at his words, not really expecting much nor having high hopes that he would give you more to work with in this conversation of playing catch-up between an ex. 

See, your relationship ended amicably, with both of you acknowledging that the spark kindled between you two had faded out. With your mind elsewhere, too focused on your academics (so you like to say), and Sunghoon preparing to inherit his family’s business, there was little room for romance in either of your daily routines. Your typical weekend dates were swapped out for meetings with major corporations and other soon-to-be-chairman-related activities so that he could fully understand what the rest of his future held for him. 

Even though you missed having your boyfriend's undivided attention, you refused to act as a temporary roadblock that prevented him from making significant progress. Despite your heart and brain being at war with each other, you made the conscious decision to slowly back down from being his lover and tucked your face in the pages of your academic textbooks.

With Sunghoon too busy to even acknowledge that his girlfriend was distancing herself from him, you were the first to come forward, bearing the news that breaking up would be the optimal solution to your and his fading presence in one another’s lives. 

That night when you bid goodbye, he felt half his heart shatter inside of him. Little did you know that you carried the other part wherever you went, but now that you were no longer capable of sheltering that missing piece, it almost made him want to die inside more than just a tad bit— a lot, actually.

He pretended to play it cool as your back turned to him and he watched you retreat to your car, feeling both helpless and defeated. With an unflinching countenance, a tightly clenched jaw, and fingers gripped at his sides, Sunghoon longed for his feet to have chased after you, preventing your departure from his life. He yearned to undo whatever had driven you away, to rewrite his mistakes and reshape your shared history.

Sadly, not even the first star in the sky he saw at night could grant him something as demanding as that.

On the contrary, had those things happened, he wouldn’t be here today on a Thursday afternoon rekindling a connection that got tossed up in the air and fell through his fingertips.

“I—“ Before you get a chance to deliver your sentence Sunghoon’s hold on your arm prompts him to draw you to his chest. 

Your breath hitches in the back of your throat, eyes simultaneously widening for the second time thanks to a certain ex. You look up at the taller one with crinkled brows. A mixture of confusion and a looming feeling in the deepest pit of your stomach that hasn’t quite left, tugging at your heartstrings. His intoxicating scent of Dior Sauvage is all too overwhelming for your nose to take in. You swear your head could start spinning any minute now. 

He’s so close to you. You’re so close to him. If someone were to come by and accidentally bump into you, you would be pressed up against his chest, breaking what limited distance is keeping you two apart. 

A bike rider disrupting pedestrian traffic on the sidewalk whizzes by, obnoxiously ringing the bell attached to their handlebar as if they aren’t to be blamed for riding on the concrete pavement, and it’s only then do you realize that Sunghoon was protecting you from getting hit. His body relaxes once he declares that it’s safe for you to comfortably stand in the open from any oncoming obstructions. 

“Sorry… acted on impulse.” His grasp on you immediately retreats to the inside of his pant pockets and you swear that his touch leaves a ghosting sensation on your skin. 

Sunghoon refuses to meet your lingering gaze, eyes averting to some random couple walking their dog across the street from where the two of you are standing. It’s almost funny how he fully believed two years ago that one day both of you would be exactly like that: dog owners who take their beloved fur baby on walks together and enjoy the simplicity of the little things that a relationship has to offer. 

“It’s okay, thank you,” You murmur, unsure of where things should go from here. 

A beat of silence comes and goes before Sunghoon has the chance to take the initiative to prove he’s different from his past self. 

The past self you witnessed throughout the duration of your shared romanticism. The past self who failed to convince you to stay because he never wanted you to leave his side. What he wanted was to work things out and to understand what he could do to change and make things better for the two of you.

Even if that meant you breaking up with him first to realize this.

“Listen, why don’t we…” He suddenly starts. Sunghoon analyzes your face and when your features evidently show that you’re all ears for what he has to say, he takes a deep breath to compose himself. “Get dinner. Together.“ 

Although the question comes out more like a demand rather than a request, you’re slightly taken aback because you were almost certain Sunghoon probably resents you for the breakup— at least that’s what you tell yourself— and that he doesn’t want any business involving you entering his life for a repeat performance. The only different thing is that you’re his ex.

Can you blame him? It was so sudden.

The concealed hurt he tried to mask but failed to do so when you told him you wanted to end things, hoping it’d be left on good terms, rambling about how much you do and will continue to care for him no matter what he does in life or who he chooses to love after you. It seems you did more talking than he got the chance to, and Sunghoon wasn’t sure if you had this all planned leading up to that moment, or if he should’ve seen it coming. 

Whatever it was, Sunghoon could never hate or repent you, but you’re no telepathic mind-reader and wouldn’t know how he feels about you now unless you asked. 

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as you ponder the idea of sitting in a fancy restaurant with Sunghoon and sharing a long conversation over an expensive meal that is highly overpriced for its ridiculously small portions. 

“On one condition,” You quip. Sunghoon gestures for you to keep going and you clear your throat. “No five-star Michelin places, okay? I just want a simple dinner to make up for lost time.” 

The older male chuckles, nodding his head sensibly. If there’s one thing Sunghoon learned about you is that you were never hard to please and preferred the opposite of a high-end luxury lifestyle that he naturally grew up with. 

“Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 8, how’s that sound?” 

“That’s perfect but um—“ you purse your lips. “Do you… Do you still remember where I live?” 

“Of course. It would take a lot more than time and distance apart from each other, for me to forget your every being.”

Sunghoon leans in to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The underlying intimacy hiding beneath his actions has you contemplating what the course of your relationship would have looked like for the two of you, had you not broken up with a man as sweet and thoughtful as him.

Was calling it quits between you two a mistake? Should you have stuck it out just a little longer? 

You can only shove those thoughts to the farthest point in the back of your mind and recenter your focus to the handsome ravenette. 

Sunghoon, sporting a warm grin that gradually grows into a pearly white showcase of his perfect teeth and adorable canines, makes it worth marveling if second chances are a thing that people still stand by. 

The next evening, Sunghoon unexpectedly arrived at your front door 20 minutes ahead of your readiness. While you were trying to situate yourself into your cami dress that paired well with the current season, a knocking sound coming from the entrance to your studio unit startled you in its wake. You tapped on the screen of your phone to check the time and crinkled your nose when the numbers staring back at you read 7:40. 

Sunghoon’s habit of arriving for an occasion earlier than expected was not unusual for his character. The taller's mannerisms crept into other facets of his social life after years of being trained to believe that "early is on time" and "on time is late." However, 20 minutes ahead of schedule was definitely new to you, and part of you can’t help but think if this is stemming from anxiety or if that’s just you projecting your nerves onto his much early arrival. 

“Just a sec!” You struggled to reach for the zipper to your dress, stress-sweating due to the pressure of having to rush through the rest of your routine.

After what felt like a millennia you finally managed to seal yourself shut into your attire and scurried to the front door where poor Sunghoon was waiting for you to answer.

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t get to the zipper of my dress and I don’t think me flashing you or my neighbors in semi-public is socially acceptable.” You awkwardly laugh, strands of hair sticking to the back of your neck and forehead from the accumulated sweat you managed to produce. 

Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head at your guilty tendency to overshare too much information for the dramatics.

“No worries. I know I showed up earlier than expected. Don’t worry about me, do what you need to do.” He smiles softly and for a second it almost slips your mind that you’re no longer romantically involved with each other. 

Oh, how you wish you could leap at him and smother the dashing man with kisses all over his Greek god-like, beautiful face…

“Here,” The taller unveils a bouquet of flowers that he attempted (underline, attempted) to hide behind his back. In reality, you could already see bits of it peeking out but chose to play coy about the item he was holding back from giving you. 

You fawn at the striking arrangement of tulips that come in different shades of the prettiest of pinks. Tulips. Of course, he would remember that those are your favorite. His words from yesterday ring in your ears, and believing them, you truly start to confide that Sunghoon could never boot you out of his memory as easy as a snap of his fingers.

“The prettiest bunch of flowers for the prettiest girl.” Sunghoon cautiously says, unsure if that would be stepping a line. To be fair, there isn’t an official handbook on what you should or shouldn’t say to an ex— except for some of the more common phrases; whatever that may be.

You let out a lighthearted laugh at the bold, yet cheesy, compliment and invited Sunghoon into the safe haven of your apartment, ignoring the way your heart practically skipped a beat when he said that. 

He’s been here on plentiful occasions so he’s really no stranger to the arrangement of your flat and could probably draw out an entire floor plan if he wanted to. At one point he almost committed to the thought of moving in with you, but you were a firm believer that it would be best if he stuck to the minimalist mansion he decorated himself; it was passed down to him from none other than his father. Needless to say, Sunghoon was a pouty puppy that day.

“I’m almost ready I promise.” You say. “I just need to add some finishing touches and then I’m all yours for the night.” Immediately your hands fly to your mouth when realization dawns on you about the delivery of your words. 

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, and luckily, you miss the faint smirk that tugs at the corner of his plump lips teasingly.

“You know what I mean!” You panic, waving off the metaphorical atmosphere that surrounds both of you.

You excuse yourself and escape to your room as the tips of your ears start to flush with embarrassment.

Once the door leading to your bedroom shuts behind you with a mellow thud, your back presses up against the surface of the entryway. A loud sigh that you weren't even aware you were repressing since Sunghoon arrived breaks out past your tinted lips. With your mind a foggy mess and your heart threatening to leap right out of your chest, you’re under the impression that you resemble the stereotypical anime school girl the way your entire demeanor changes when you’re around him. 

But that’s the thing.

It’s only Sunghoon. 

It’s just Sunghoon.

So what if you guys dated in high school and partially during college? So what if he was the first and only guy you’ve been with, and even though you have no one to compare him to, he would still be the best ex you could ever have? So what if you regret breaking up with him because you got ahead of yourself and refused to be transparent with him? 

So what if you want him back…

You pat both sides of your cheeks to wake yourself from a philosophical dilemma. you refuse to go down a rabbit hole of emotions especially when you’re about to go out to dinner. 

You shuffle through your wardrobe in search of a certain pair of Converse that a special someone gave to you as a birthday gift. When you find it neatly stored away in its original packaging and the box that it came in you’re almost too eager to slip your feet into the collar of the Chuck Taylor’s.

You halt in your steps when you reach your vanity and grab your everyday bottle of perfume, spritzing one pump, then two, then three, and four more of the floral scent, that you’re showering yourself in it at this point.

When you've deemed that you’re completely ready and satisfied with your appearance for the evening, you exit the inviting comfort of your cozy chambers. Sunghoon’s back is facing you as you ascend into the living room. You can’t make out much of what he’s doing and he’s seemingly too preoccupied to notice your footsteps stalk across the wooden paneling. His neck is craned downward looking at something on the decorative table where you have a neat arrangement of framed pictures. 

“You still have this?” He turns around revealing the photograph that he was referring to, now in his possession. There’s a distant glimmer of emotion that you can’t quite make out peeking around the curves of his irises. 

You let out a resigned sigh. 

You’ve been caught red-handed for leaving a single trace of the past out in the open. 

Of all the furniture and miscellaneous objects that collect dust on different surfaces in your flat, Sunghoon chose to go for the photograph of you and him standing under a cherry blossom tree in Ilsan Park. Your arm was hooked around his waist and his was wrapped around your shoulder. The brightest of smiles stretched across your faces as petals danced around you. It was the perfect moment captured in stillness and you wish you could leap through pictures to relive that special day. A distant memory that feels like it happened not too long ago.

“I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s— That’s one of my favorite pictures of us.” You simply explain. 

It was true, because out of all of the selfies, candid photos, and other pictures you shared together with Sunghoon, your date to Ilsan Park remained your number one core memory as a couple. 

You watch intently as Sunghoon places the photo back where it originally belonged on the console.

“I think that’s one of my favorites, too.” He says as a matter of fact. “That or the one where we went to Lotte World and wore matching uniforms together.” The taller laughs.

You giggled, the recollection of your amusement park date flashing across your mind. You dragged him to go on each and every attraction with you as he stumbled in your tracks, struggling to keep up with your social battery. You felt like two high schoolers in love at the ripe age of 20 because being with Sunghoon gave you the impression that you were your 15-year-old self again. 

“I like that one as well! I thought I looked pretty cute in that uniform.” You grin sheepishly.

Sunghoon chuckles and it causes you to whip your head to survey him. His eyes crinkle before they’re no longer crescent and back to their original doe-eyed shape. 

“You’re still cute, y’know that?” 

The comment sends your heart ablaze along with the blood that rushes to the surface of your cheeks. You can only hope that the thin layer of makeup and blush you applied is strong enough to camouflage the effect that sunghoon has on you. It’s no secret that he was always a smooth talker and still is. It makes you wonder if he’s ever used that flirtatious skill on other women he’s come across after you— or if he has. 

You tut your tongue at him and reach for your crossbody purse draped on the couch that you lazily tossed aside yesterday after coming home. 

“Ready, m’lady?” Sunghoon twists the knob and pushes the front door open, supporting the weight with his broad frame to keep it from closing in on you two when you exit. 

“Wait!” You pip, halting in your steps. You briskly retreat to your room and grab the bouquet of tulips you left on the side table next to your bed. 

You scurry over to Sunghoon, cradling the arrangement of florals like it was your baby. The haired boy opens his mouth to say something but you’re too fast to retort, 

“I wanna show it off. They’re too pretty to be left at home.” 

He nods and motions his hand for you to leave the unit first. The taller gives himself a mental pat on the back for inquiring in a floral shop before coming to retrieve you for dinner.

Tulips are a girl’s best friend, after all. For you, at least.

Coincidentally dinner happens to occur at the one restaurant you frequently visited when you and Sunghoon were dating. It was a simple ma and pa spot only locals in the area knew of. They were popularly known for their cold noodles and ginseng chicken soup. You like to think of it as a secret only two of you know about and continue to gatekeep it from your friends or families from ever coming across of it. 

The owners grew familiar with both of you through your frequent visits and friendly conversations. your rapport with them resulted in a warm welcome every time you returned, often accompanied by a generous discount as a token of their appreciation. Since your last visit to their restaurant, a while has gone by, and you both have been overdue to make an appearance at the restaurant.

“Aigoo, Sunghoon-ah, it’s been so long!” Mrs. Kim exclaims, wearing the biggest and brightest smile that brings out the crinkles in her complexion when she notices two familiar faces. “And Y/n, it’s good to see you too!” She turns to you with the same mien still permanently plastered on her face. 

You bow your head. Her contagious smile has you mirroring her grin. 

“Come, come, sit.” She waves her hand for the two of you to follow in her trail as she leads both of you to your— undesignated but designated— table that you and Sunghoon would constantly sit at.

Before you even have a chance to pull out your chair, Sunghoon beats you to it with surprising swiftness. The aged wood scrapes gently against the floor as he courteously pulls the chair back for you. A warm smile tugs at your lips as you appreciate this chivalrous gesture, unable to contain a soft giggle of delight. 

Mrs. Kim watches the interaction between the two of you and smirks, completely out of the loop that you have broken up; still under the assumption that you’re both dating to this day. Who could blame her when in her eyes you were the perfect missing piece for one another in this world like you were made for each other from the start. 

“The usual?” She asks despite already knowing the answer to her question. 

“Yes please,” Sunghoon nods.

He sits after folding his blazer in half so that it can rest neatly on the chair's backrest. To add some fuel to the flame, he unbuttons the cuffs to his long sleeves and rolls them past his forearms so that they stop an inch below his elbows. The expensive watch that rests snugly on his wrist glistens, almost blinding you. You’re reminded that the man sitting across from you is responsible for an entire company under his name and capable of powerful things.

You gulp. You feel like you’re watching something you shouldn’t be and instead take an interest in the condiments that are pushed to the side of your table. 

Soy sauce, vinegar, napkins… 

When you think that you’re ready to re-center your attention onto Sunghoon once your racing heart has calmed down from its high, the taller has his eyes closed as he combs his fingers through his hair. His lips are parted ever so slightly and there’s a shine to his plush tiers.

He has to be doing this on purpose now.

You watch the way his Adam apple bobs when he swallows and you swear it should be a sin to look this effortlessly good in warm overhead lighting. 

You huff, a little too audibly for the male across from you to hear and his doe eyes flutter open. The sudden eye contact catches you off guard and you’re struggling to maintain yourself from the tension your mind is projecting. You shift around in your chair trying to find a more comfortable position.

This is going to be a long dinner.

After Mrs. Kim returned with your delectable dishes, the food vanished quickly as you guys delved into stories and shared the exciting highlights of your respective journeys. You and Sunghoon spent the rest of your meal at the table reminiscing about the past two years including the many ups and downs you’ve dealt with.

You learned that a month after your breakup, Sunghoon’s father officially stepped down, handing over the reins of the company to his son as the new successor. The ravenette confided in you, revealing that even though he had been groomed for this role his whole life, the transition wasn't as smooth as he had envisioned. The weight of responsibility felt overwhelming. Taking charge of a major company brought with it a level of pressure he had never experienced before. The expectations were high, both from the company's board and the employees who had known him since he was young.

As he grappled with the complexities of his new position, Sunghoon couldn't help but reminisce about a simpler life. He missed the carefree moments he used to share with you, the laughter, and the ease of his unannounced visits when he would turn up at your door with snacks he bought from the corner store and canned beer. 

Eventually his determination and drive to persevere kept him standing strong in the face of these obstacles. With his family behind him, a supportive workforce, and you in the back of his mind, he knew he had people to look back on and make them proud. 

You praised the older for his character development, gushing at his transition from uncertainty to confidence, while sympathizing with the initial troubles he first started off with. Being a chairman at his age is bound to weigh heavily on his mental and emotional health, and you can’t help but wish that you had stayed by his side through it all in order to be that support pillar he needed at immediacy.

“So, what about you? I didn’t really get to hear your answer yesterday.” Sunghoon asks.

You blinked. “Me? Well, uhm…” 

A bubble of insecurity creeps into your stomach. Your mind races through a mental checklist of your own achievements, or rather, the lack thereof, especially when compared to Sunghoon’s impressive journey. While your lives have taken very drastically different paths, you can’t shake the feeling that at the end of the day, the two of you are worlds apart from each other. He’s the chairman of a highly respected company. And you? You’re just a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in fine arts. A pursuit that feels miles away from Sunghoon’s milestones. 

During the period that he was absent from your everyday life, all you managed to build was your art portfolio, which you eagerly sent to numerous galleries in a desperate bid to gain recognition as a struggling artist. Rejection letters became an all too familiar sight, each offering the same hollow praise— impressed but not interested. Those were dark times, where self-doubt loomed large.

Thankfully, your situation started to improve when you summoned the courage to step out of your comfort zone. You took to social media, opening art accounts on Instagram and Twitter, and sharing your artistic odyssey on TikTok. Yunjin, one of your closest friends and best friend since middle school, commissioned you to paint a mural inside a cafe she was working at. “I begged my boss for this to happen!” She said enthusiastically over the phone the night she asked you for the favor. Everything to you was a leap of faith, a glimmer of hope that prompted you to fully believe in the light at the end of every tunnel. 

In spite of your situation turning out for the better, it was impossible to ignore the inescapable sense of solitude and loneliness that clung to you like a shadow. It followed you everywhere you went. A mental reminder that, no matter how bright life was starting to seem, you still felt trapped and not completely content with yourself.

You convey these exact thoughts and feelings to Sunghoon in a messy ramble, hoping that this unintentional therapy session you’ve turned dinner into won’t scare him off. You can only hope that you’re not ruining the evening with a sob story of another art kid struggling to make a name for themselves in a society, where choosing art as a career path is at a greater disadvantage in comparison to your stronger counterparts. 

When you find yourself coming to the end of your rant, a wave of silence washes over the table, and you grab the nearest cup of water to gulp from. Ignoring the condensation that sweats around the glass and soils your palms. Your eyes look everywhere, purposefully avoiding Sunghoon and the tragic visage he’s probably giving you right about now.

“Y/n, look at me.” 

You raise your head, complying to his soft demand. 

“I’m proud of you,” he begins, and in that instant, a surge of emotion that has been suppressed for far too long wells up within you. “It takes a lot of courage and willpower to continue to follow a path you’re uncertain of.” The comment makes Sunghoon chuckle dryly, closely reminded of himself, shaking his head. “But look at you, you’re doing so great.”

The warmth in his voice, the sincerity in his eyes— they combine like a gentle storm, and suddenly, tears brim your eyes, begging to spill over. Your vision is splotchy and you refuse to blink, save for ruining your mascara. You weren’t planning on being an emotional wreck tonight, especially over dinner with your ex.

“I understand how hard it must have been dealing with those struggles alone, and I wish I was there by your side to help support you when it happened.” Sunghoon continues. He pauses to take in a breath before resuming, “But I’m here now… I’m not going anywhere, and if you’d let me— I want back into your life again, Y/n.”

A solitary tear breaks free, followed by another, and then another, until suddenly your eyes unleash a torrent of waterworks like a relentless downpour from a stormy sky. You hide your face in a handful of napkins you hastily grabbed, unaware that Sunghoon got up to move from his seat and slipped into the chair next to yours. His touch catches you off guard but you immediately relax as he guides you into his embrace, allowing you to hide yourself in his arms; your face tucked away in his chest. He caresses your hair, his slender fingers thread through your styled locks as he lulls you to comfort from your shaken state.

The two of you stay rooted in that position until you confidently and mentally reassure yourself that you are okay; you’re going to be okay. Your breathing has calmed down from its high and returned to a normal, healthy rate as your tears subsided and are non-existent.

No longer conscious of your makeup— a matter far from substantial to care for anymore— you wipe away the mess around your eyes. Black clumps of mascara and some concealer transfer onto the napkin. Seeing the stains garner a weak laugh to emit from you. Sunghoon cranes his neck to survey what you’ve become engrossed with. He sees the ruined makeup and laughs lightly into your hair. 

You’re thankful that there aren’t many customers dining in tonight and that it’s just you, Sunghoon, and three other parties who are far too busy drinking, conversing, and laughing amongst themselves to acknowledge the young couple tucked away in the corner.

Mrs. Kim leads both you and Sunghoon out of the restaurant with a warmth akin to a grandmother bidding her grandchildren farewell, her heartfelt wish for your safe return home evident in her loving smile.

“Goodbye, Mrs. Kim. Thank you, again, for another delicious dinner.” Sunghoon bows at a 90-degree angle and the formality stirs a boisterous laugh from the frail old lady. You mimic his actions, also expressing your gratitude for the lovely meal and free dessert she served to you guys ‘on the house.’ 

“When you guys come back I better see a wedding ring on her finger, Sunghoon-ah.” Mrs. Kim scolds lightly. You almost choke on your own saliva at the remark, coughing awkwardly to cover up your bewilderment. Sunghoon does his best to maintain his composure for the sake of the elder’s oblivion.

“You guys disappear for two years and still no diamond in sight. I was hoping some big change happened!” She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, crossing her arms.

Sunghoon dips his head again in an apologetic manner. “You and Mr. Kim will be the first people we come to with a wedding invitation.” 

You whack the taller’s arm giving him a what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about look, eyebrows scrunched with perplexity. The last thing you want is to continue to feed into Mrs. Kim’s false reality that the two of you are still a couple. Who’s to say that Sunghoon isn’t actually on the same page as you and everything is just a facade? I mean, sure, he’s been flirty here and there, bought you flowers, comforted you at dinner, and practically asked you to take him back… 

Your trust in Sunghoon has clearly waned, a result of your fluctuating self-confidence that leads you to confide in the pessimistic "what ifs." Your clouded judgment and self-doubt gnaw at your thoughts, casting doubt on the possibility of a reunion between the two of you. 

Sunghoon ignores the daggers slicing at the left side of his face and the buzzing pain you inflicted on him from the harsh impact of your hand. His digits dig gently into your side, drawing you closer to him. You stumble ever so slightly and flash an unconvincing awkward smile to the old lady.

You situate yourselves into the driver and passenger seats of his Hyundai Ioniq. You’re quiet when you pull the seat belt over your upper half, and for the first 10 minutes, not a single word was uttered from either you or the male sitting behind the wheel. Your mind loiters as you watch the building lights illuminating the dark troposphere of Seoul whizz by at 2x speed.

You and Mr. Kim will be the first people we come to with a wedding invitation.

Yeah right… You almost roll your eyes but catch yourself prolonging the idea of a hypothetical engagement and wedding ceremony with Sunghoon as your groom. 

Would he have gone down on one knee to propose to you had both of you remained lovers? 

You shake the contemplation loose from your prefrontal cortex. 

“Is it okay if I roll the window down?” You’re the first to break the ice. Sunghoon nods, his attention still focused on the road in front of him. Without looking, his fingers find the car’s air-con button to turn it off and he gives you the ‘go’ to proceed with your desire. 

The tempered glass descends and you’re immediately greeted with the beating rush of the summertime air. You giggle and rest your arms on the weatherstrip trimming of the Hyundai, your head poking out like an excited dog who’s riding in the car with its tongue hanging from its mouth. You close your eyes, taking in the wind that messes with your hair and brushes past your skin. It’s enough to transcend you into a different headspace, almost forgetting that you’re in a moving vehicle and not on some speedboat skidding across the water in Europe.

Sunghoon looks your way, unable to suppress the natural smile that lights up his face whenever he sees you. You truly are a surge of energy he needs when he wants to uplift himself if he’s feeling down. You’re his happy pill— so much so, that he wishes he could keep a chibi version of you for him to carry in the pocket square of his suits and let you rome on the wooden surface of his office desk to help him get through the work day. It’s silly and love-sickening, but Sunghoon only knows how to act a fool with you around him. 

His fingers drum against the padding of the steering wheel, waking you from your daydream. You hadn’t realized that you’ve already made it back to the city and are soon approaching your apartment complex. Your neighborhood is only a couple of turns away from your current destination as the two of you sit at a red light. You roll the window up, at least it was fun for the duration it endured. 

When he pulls up on the side of the street in front of your building, you try to find some lame excuse to stay with him for another minute longer, not wanting to say goodnight to him. You’re scared that this evening will be a one-off event and you'll return to your old ways, enveloped once more in the arms of self-isolation that consumes you completely.

Your grip on the door handle tightens. 

“Sunghoon,” you shift your view in his direction. “You don’t mind walking me to my front door, do you?” 

The male smiles with his eyes.

“Who am I to not accompany a lady when needed.” 

Sunghoon makes quick work to unbuckle himself from the driver’s seat and rounds the front of the car to open the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take, which you generously do so, and grants him the unspoken permission to whisk you away into the levels of your residential building. 

The elevator ride is a close resemblance to the trip back to your place, however, there’s a contrasting atmosphere waiting to burst like a champagne bottle and spill over. Sunghoon’s holding your hand the entire way and you don’t resist the notion. 

When you approach your unit at the end of the hall, you fish for your keys that are sitting at the bottom of your bag. Sunghoon’s hand slips out of your grasp and you almost whine at the loss of his warmth and touch, but you know he’s only doing it for you to use both free hands to ultimately unlock your door. The click! of the lock coming from the other side is an indication that you can push past the door once the knob is turned.

You stand there, hesitant to enter your own home. 

“I guess— this is it?” You murmur tentatively to yourself and the taller. You rock on your heels purposefully stalling time as you force both him and yourself to stare a little longer at the iron numbers detailing your front door. 

You let out a rigged breath.

“Tonight was great. The longest I’ve been out of the house in a month, really.” You cringe pathetically at the confession knowing that a month ago Yunjin was the one who pulled you out of bed to get some fresh air and sunlight because you were hiding away like a vampire. "Thank you... Sunghoon, for treating me to dinner and spending the evening with me..."

He remains stoic and unusually quiet, making it challenging to decipher what he’s thinking or feeling. You wish you could enter his mind to get a glimpse of how his brain functions. You’d hate to seem pitiful for hoping that his advances from today were, if at all, genuine.

If what he said at dinner was coming from the heart.

As you contemplate what might be your last encounter with your 'the one who got away,’ Sunghoon astounds you with yet another trick up his sleeve, when he secures your wrist in his delicate grasp. Forever one step ahead of you, his lips collide with yours in a passionate fervent. The only appropriate reaction that you can give him in response is to return the kiss with just as much fervor. The strap to your purse slides off your shoulders and lands below you with a little thud thanks to Sunghoon’s antsy hands pushing it out of the way.

He cages you against the surface of the door, your back bumping into it when he forces the distance between your bodies to dissipate. Bothered by the tiny gap that prevents you from being as close as you possibly can to him. The only active barrier is now the layer of clothing he’s wearing and the tiny dress that nearly clings to your every curve. He can’t wait to impatiently rip you out of it and slip in a “I’ll buy you a new one, princess.”

Your hands find sanctuary in his soft hair. How you missed tugging at their roots when he’d go down on you in bed, on the kitchen counter, and in the shower with your one leg supporting your entire weight as Sunghoon made the other side dangle over his shoulder. Those positions are tempting, and biologically the flashbacks of your sexual activity with the male feed into the expansion of your slick that gradually soils your panties.  

You squeeze your thighs together. The pressure of your inner fat is an empty feeling of pleasure that you wish Sunghoon could replace with his tongue, fingers, cock, or all three one at a time. The male notices this cry-for-help and trails his right hand down the sides of your waist. He stops at the lace hemming of the cami dress, bunching the material to provide easy access to your mid-thigh. His fingers dance on your skin, traveling upward ever so slowly in an antagonizing fashion that almost infuriates you for his teasing manner in the heat of the moment. 

Sunghoon reluctantly breaks the kiss. The evidence of your already smudged matte lipstick has left a faint trace on his plump tiers. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, mouth ready to latch onto the sensitive area he knows best that will cloud every crevice of your mind with nothing but want and lust. At the end of this night, all that you will know is how to be his obedient cocksleeve like the good girl he’s conditioned you into.

The sound of someone clearing their throat on the opposite end of your apartment’s hallway is akin to a record player scratch. You’re grateful that the construction workers, or whoever built this place, designed the structure of your building to be a certain way so that the split-off point from the elevator wasn’t a simple corridor style where you could see both fire exits at each side. Instead, it was more so a wide V-shape. 

In other words, no one really caught you and Sunghoon in semi-public eating one another’s faces. 

You stop to share a quiet laugh with Sunghoon and ultimately enter the safe space of your flat, out of your neighbors point of view where they could have had a free, front-row seat to some juicy content. The door closes behind you, you can barely get out of your shoes and make it past the front step leading to your living room when Sunghoon’s haste to have you underneath the sheets with him in your bed has you stumbling backward. He catches you before you can register that you would have fallen onto your ass against the hardwood. His lips serve him well, contributing to the situation as a distraction that redirects your every inner thought bubble. 

Sunghoon casually kicks off his shoes, adding them to the haphazard pile alongside yours— the least of his concerns at the moment.

The kiss from outside repeats itself, and this time, Sunghoon can contently resume what he intended to do had another tenant not interrupted the mood. But the voyeurism exploration kink in him would have liked either sequence of events. 

His tongue traces a wet stripe up your neck, sending a shiver cascading down your spine. You dully bite down on your bottom lip, trying to stifle the whimper that is sanctioned at the back of your throat, trapped by a surge of lust and anticipation. Sunghoon’s mouth ghosts over the shell of your ear, and his hot breath tickles. 

“I wanna hear you, baby.” He slurs. “Don’t be shy on me now.” 

Sunghoon’s lips sheathe that sensitive spot on your neck, causing you to gasp. Your shoulders tense at the foreign feeling of his mouth on your body, and you’ve forgotten how good it was to receive a hickey. You relax under his touch when he gives the soft fat of your waist a reassuring squeeze.

His canines graze your skin while he sucks on the same patch, switching interchangeably to lap his tongue at the area when he begins to see a blossom of red and purple hues mix together, creating the prettiest bruise that would surely take more than a couple of days to fully heal. You groan when his teeth apply the right amount of force onto your flesh, leaving indents in their wake. His perverted mind relishes in the fact that only he is capable of marking you in ways that no other man could ever come close to.

He steps back to fully appreciate his canvas, that is you, and the absolute masterpiece that you are to him.

He leans in, pressing another kiss to your lips, this time with a gentler, more tender spirit, devoid of any sloppy motions. It’s delicate, a striking contrast to the heated lip-locking session the two of you were entranced with just moments ago on the other side of your apartment door. His larger palms cup your face as the pads of his thumbs caress the apples of your cheeks, making you feel loved and cared for.

Sunghoon lures your tongue into his mouth, clamping his lips around the muscle. He suckles at it, eliciting the cutest whimpers that he missed hearing from you since you’ve been gone. 

“Hnngh… Hah,” you pry yourself off of him, a string of your shared saliva connects the two of your equally moist lips. 

Your puffy lips shimmer in the moonlight streaming into your livingroom, as if the moon itself decided to play a starring role tonight. You squeeze his bicep, noticing that the muscle has doubled in size since you last touched it. You peer up at the taller through your eyelashes and Sunghoon has to conceal his primal instincts from fucking your throat with his raging hard-on. 

Your fingers graze the fabric of his long-sleeve collar, tracing delicate patterns across the black tie donned around his neck. Something about being able to witness a man up close in a suit never failed to provoke a flood of arousal from overwhelming your erogenous zone. Specifically, Sunghoon. It’s a shame— not really— that it eventually has to come off. With a deft touch, you begin to unravel the four-in-hand knot, a testament to Sunghoon’s meticulous self-preparation. The silk unravels, revealing its intricate texture beneath your fingertips. 

You assist Sunghoon in removing his suit jacket next, observing it gracefully descend to the floor. You briefly wonder why he's so nonchalant about leaving such an expensive garment on the ground, but he dismisses your concern with a wave of his hand. After all, as a chairman, he has the means and privilege to easily replace such clothing items.

You decide that it’s your turn to take the lead for once and initiate another heated session of sultry lip service. Your mouth kisses Sunghoon’s with primal hunger. Teeth clash, and you see no remorse for your hostility sponsored by pent-up sexual frustration and longing for some sort of relief that only Sunghoon can render. 

In a poor attempt to unbutton the last layer of clothing that shields Sunghoon’s upper half, your fingers fumble with the small disks that are fastened by the slits. You whine frustratedly against his lips once you realize you’re not making much progress. It is incredibly hard to multitask when your tongue is being manhandled by his.

“Here, lemme do it.“ Sunghoon mutters in a low growl. 

He tears open the placket just like he would to a bag of chips, and the buttons you were struggling to relieve him of pop off in ease, taunting you for your lack of efficiency at getting him out of his attire. He wriggles his arms free from the restraints of his sleeves and shrugs the apparel from the summit of his shoulders, allowing the ruined piece to join his suit jacket on the floor.

“Your turn, babe.” 

He twirls you around, your back fully pressed against his front as the tent in his pants pokes at your globes. The thrill of his length nestled between your ass spurs you to grind yourself on him, a staggered exhale of his hot breath fans the curvature of your trapezius, prickling your skin. The cotton material of your underwear cultivates a sticky sensation the longer you stay trapped in it.

“S-shit baby, you’re a fucking tease.” Sunghoon grabs your chin, forcing your head to turn his way so that he can seize your lips in an inconsistent kiss. Alternatively, it’s a tongue duel of him wanting to shove the muscular organ down your throat.

“A-ahh,” You moan helplessly.

He yanks the zipper of your dress. The item peels off of your bust, exposing your bare skin and naked torso simultaneously. You have to wriggle your hips past the remaining fabric in order to fully reveal your bare figure to Sunghoon— besides your damp panties that is.

“No bra today? It’s almost like you were expecting this to happen…” Sunghoon taunts.

“N-no…” You squeak, shaking your head.

“No? Use your words baby.”

You turn to face him, your perky mounds that come into his view are a sight for sore eyes. Even in the dark and scant amount of natural lighting from the celestial object in the night sky, is Sunghoon competent at reading your flustered features. How you manage to be cute yet look so lewd all at once is beyond his comprehension.

“I-I didn’t wear a bra because I thought it’d be easier to go without one.” You mumble, telling the truth.

“That’s better,” Sunghoon coos. He pecks your cheek and you smile at the reward.

“Eeek! S-Sunghoon!” You burst into a fit of shared laughter and giggles when said name scoops you into his arms, your body cradled against his chest, as your legs dangled over his one arm while the other supports your back.

“Just practicing when we’re both walking down the aisle at our future wedding.” Sunghoon jests.

Tenderness fills your eyes when you look up at him. He’s joked about the hypothetical conception of marriage twice in the night that you’re fully convinced it wouldn’t be all that bad of an idea. Given that both of you are ready and first rekindle the status of your relationship, of course.

Sunghoon grins. There’s a gentle kindness to his pearly whites, and you reach up to press a chaste kiss to his jawline.

He relocates to your bedroom. Gently, he lays you down on the bed, your body propped up on your forearms, bearing the weight of your upper half. With an unwavering gaze, you study Sunghoon closely, every detail of his expression and every nuance of his presence.

His eyebrows knit and meet in the middle, fixated on undoing his pants to escape from their restraints, followed by his underwear soon after. His stiff member rebounds off his lower abdomen, precum leaking from the mushroom tip. A satisfied exhale leaves his mouth. He stalks over to you with a sly smirk, towering your smaller frame when he crawls on top of the bed, his knees plant themselves into the mattress and his additional weight dips the space where you lay.

You whine when his length ghosts at the expanse of your inner thigh, suspense and arousal continue to bubble inside of you. Sunghoon murmurs for you to lay back. “Make yourself comfortable,” were his initial instructions before hooking the waistband of your panties with his fingers and dragging them below your legs. The undergarment was tossed to the side.

You nibble at your bottom lip and screw your eyes shut when a slender finger circles the perimeter of your labia.

“You’re so wet babe,” Sunghoon purrs.

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat when he slides his index finger through your inner lips, gathering an abundance of your slick to bring to his mouth for a taste. Both eyes flutter open in time to witness Sunghoon suck at the digit drenched with your arousal. The sight is sinfully lewd, nearly too much for you to handle. Your face reddens and you fight the inclination to hide behind your hands.

“You taste so good, too.“ He licks at his lips. “Wanna try?” Sunghoon cocks his head to the side, and you can’t find it in you to turn down his offer when he looks so innocent— yet acts like the devil himself when he’s overcome with lust. You nod your head with approval.

His duality needs to be studied at Harvard, you think in the back of your mind.

Sunghoon plunges his index finger past your hole, triggering your back to arch an inch off the bed. He chuckles lowly and watches as your hands grab desperately at the sheets beneath you to steady your sanity. The singular digit curls inside of you. Your unforeseen shock is vocalized in the form of a moan and Sunghoon repeats the motion several times.

“O-oh my god—“ You gasp.

The ravenette withdraws his finger and taps at your mouth, signaling you to open. You submit to his implicit dictation. Your lips encase his pointer, tongue swirling around it like a piece of sweet candy you’re tasting for the first time.

You bat your eyelashes prettily and moan. “Mmmh…”

“Dirty girl,” Sunghoon sniggers. He retracts his finger and you let it slip past your mouth with a ‘pop’ sound.

“Can you please give me your cock now?” You plead with a pout, doing your best impression of an endearing set of puppy eyes.

Sunghoon chuckles. “Let me at least prep you first, baby. How long has it been since you’ve had someone’s cock inside of you, anyways?”

You part your lips but close it just as quickly. To be candid, you've never been one to actively immerse yourself in the 'I'm single' scene. Your only foray into it was with Yunjin, roughly three weeks after your split with Sunghoon. The two of you ventured to a club, but it proved to be a brief endeavor. Within two hours, the fifth shot became a catalyst, turning you into an unending fountain of tears.

“Y/n?”

“Huh? Oh. Sorry…”

“I’m sorry baby. Did I overstep your boundaries?” Sunghoon cups your face with his right hand, his eyes scan yours, sincerity and concern laced in those chocolate orbs of his.

You stifle a giggle. Of all boundaries he could have crossed he draws the line at asking for your body count and not him fingering you.

“What? What’s so funny?” He asks.

“Nothing just… I think it’s ironic you ask me that now and not before we did all of this.” You motion to your bare bodies when you say ‘this.’

Sunghoon’s ears redden.

“But don’t worry, Hoonie.” You hook your arms around his neck and pull him closer to pepper his face with several reassuring kisses. “I don’t mind it all. Now can you please fuck my brains out!”

Your ex (whatever he is to you at this point) throws his head back to share a quick laugh, shortly pressing his forehead against yours.

Without warning, he buries three fingers in your pussy; your hips twitch at the sentience. They slide in and out without strain and together the two of you watch as he finger fucks your hole to “prep” for his cock. The squelching noise of your juices fill the room in addition to your moaning, and Sunghoon confronts a hurdle of his patience wearing thin, wanting to fuck you senseless.

His digits leave your hole and you whine immediately at the loss. Sunghoon uses the mass quantity of slick as a substitute for lube to lather on his angry cock. He shuffles against the bed, forcing your legs even further apart to fit himself in between them. The stretch burns your muscles but is soon forgotten when the tip of his length is rubbing your folds, occasionally bumping your swollen clit which generates a needy whine.

Sunghoon’s face screws with ecstasy when his shaft inches past your entrance. Your walls hug his length and he whimpers at the tight muscles that suffocate his erection. You squirm under him, tensed and breathing heavily. It’s hard to relax when seven inches feel like it’s splitting you in half after a long hiatus from sex. Sunghoon notices your discomfort and stills his hips from pushing further, allowing you the necessary time to adjust.

“Sorry baby, I know it’s been a while. You can take it, right? Like the good girl you are?”

You nod. He kisses your forehead, cheek, and lips to soothe your anxiety, using his lips as a distraction to keep your mind from zoning in on his cock. He seizes the opportunity to fit the rest of his length inch-by-inch, and you feel like a virgin all over again when the burn of his cock stretching you open is almost too unbearable.

“Sshh, it’ll be alright, baby.” He wipes away a loose tear. “I’m gonna move, tell me when and if it’s too much, okay?”

“O-okay, Hoonie…”

Steadily, Sunghoon recedes his hips, cock following in suit, just enough for the tip to be the only thing that your pussy clenches on. He snaps forward, your boobs jiggle at the motion and your eyes are rolling to the back of your head when he repeatedly thrusts at a steadfast pace. The pain you were once scared of is no longer a fear you have to worry about, as pleasure is the only thing you know how to feel.

“F-faster, harder, p-please Hoon.” You fight through broken moans to let your voice be heard.

“Shit—“ He curses.

Sunghoon’s fingers dig into the plush fat of your waist while his other hand presses into the space of your bed next to the side of your head. His eyebrows knit, focused entirely on increasing the speed of his thrusts. He continues to piston fuck your pussy, abusing your hole in the utmost gratifying procedure. Your thighs jiggle each time that his balls slap against your skin. Everything reminds him of an amateur homemade video he’s seen from other couples perform on Pornhub. He’ll have to ask you some other day if you’d ever be open to filming your own tapes to watch back.

“Mmh, right there, Hoonie.” You sigh dreamily, locking your legs around his waist and linking your ankles together. “You’re fucking me so good— Aah!” A high pitch squeal slips from your vocal box when his tip probes at your G-spot.

“F-fuck,” Sunghoon leans in close, relying only on one forearm to hold himself up from crushing you with his entire weight. He hides his face in your boobs, tongue flicking at the sensitive bud that hardens in response. He persistently thrusts deeper, his cockhead pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Hnngh… Y-yes, yesyesyes!” You chant. Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, scratching gently at his scalp and tugging whenever his mouth would suck or massage at your breasts. “You’re gonna— make me c-cum!“

Sunghoon’s unrelenting despite your warning. He can feel your walls clamping around his shaft, signaling your impending orgasm, and it taunts him to force himself deeper within your warm cavern at every jerk of his hips. Your hands fall to his biceps. Nails digging into his skin as your face distorts into extreme pleasure.

“I’m so close too, baby.” He groans. “Just.” Thrust. “A.” Thrust. “Couple.” Thrust. “M-more!”

“I’m cumming! I’m c-cumming—“ Your hips tremble with a frenzied urgency as your pussy pulsates around Sunghoon’s cock. Your mouth opens in a silent gasp and a long, impassioned moan escapes your lips. The sheer intensity of the moment leaving you incoherent and lost in ecstasy.

Sunghoon twitches inside of you. “Hah— you’re so— fuck!— s-sexy,” He grunts. Your head thrashes at the overstimulation of his length continuously pumping into you and you push at Sunghoon’s chest weakly, crying on his cock for him to slow down. You whine, whimper, plead for mercy so that your pussy can recover from the intense orgasm you just experienced not too long ago. In spite of that, he ignores your pleas and concentrates on finishing. It isn’t until white ropes of cum are shooting at your walls when his thrusts start to get sloppier and progressively come to a stop.

“Fuck.” Sunghoon exhales through gritted teeth. Both of you are a panting mess trying to catch your breaths as your chests rise and fall synchronously. The ravenette pulls out slowly and he groans when he sees his seed spill out of your hole, it closely reminds him of those hentai comics he’s read through illegal websites.

“I’ll get something to help clean you up.” Sunghoon lifts his weight from the bed but you reach for his forearm to grab him. You don’t have to say anything for him to understand that you don’t want him to leave your side. He brings a hand to yours, the pad of his thumb grazing the hills of your knuckles soothingly. “It’ll be fast, I promise.”

Not even 30 seconds has gone by when he re-enters your room with a damp cloth. He wipes at the areas where a mix of your cum and his seed litter your skin with sticky residue. He discards of the ruined cloth before joining you in bed where you welcome him with open arms. He plops down next to you and you turn to lay on your side so that you can get a proper view of his handsome face in post-sex afterglow. You reach out to gently touch his moles that adorn his features. The moles you missed seeing as the first thing in the morning when you’d wake up with him by your side. He grins lazily and cranes his neck to bring his lips to your forehead.

“Sunghoon…?” Your faces are merely inches apart from one another. Though the close proximity is not a foreign situation— especially after just having sex— you speak to him with a hushed tone.

“Yes?” He inquires.

“At the restaurant, you implied that you wanted to get back together again… Is it true? Do you really mean it?” Your lips are quivering and you mentally berate yourself for being so soft hearted in these types of scenarios where emotions are high, vulnerable, and transparency is called upon.

Sunghoon breathes shakily. “I really mean it. I miss you, Y/n.” He tucks away loose strands of hair that fall on your face. “These past two years without you have been hell. The first couple of months were so bad, I almost reconsidered being the chairman for father’s company so I could fight for us. Fight for you. I’m sorry if that part of my life got in our way as a couple, and I wish I had made more of an effort to be around you.”

You sniffle, “It wasn’t just your fault. I should’ve communicated instead of thinking I know better and that I thought what I did was for the greater good— because it wasn’t. And you’re right, the two years I spent without you were awful. I never wanna go through that again.”

Sunghoon loops an arm around your waist and guides your head to bury against his chest.

“We don’t have to.”

Morning rays gently infiltrate the room as Sunghoon stands before the full-length mirror in your shared master bedroom. His voice carries across the space as he greets his loving wife, 'Good morning, Mrs. Park,' while he meticulously adjusts his tie.

You stir in bed. The unwelcome intrusion of sunlight forces you awake despite the supposedly blackout curtains you requested when you first moved in with Sunghoon. You sigh in irritation. Dismissing the hope of another ten minutes of sleep, you push yourself upright, your arms stretching above your head, accompanied by a vibrant yawn. Sunghoon, amused by your morning ritual, chuckles softly.

“Still sleepy?” Your husband turns to face you after successfully finishing the Windsor knot of his tie. You blink away the fog of grogginess from your eyes and grin when you get a clear vision of your husband clad in his usual work uniform.

“Mmm… you’re so handsome.”

Sunghoon's face lights up with a genuine smile, touched by your kind words that always seem to set the perfect tone for his day. He approaches your side of the bed with a confident saunter and takes a seat beside you.

“Any plans for today, my lovely wife?”

You can't help but giggle at his endearing habit of calling you 'wife' and 'Mrs. Park.' It's become a sweet tradition between the two of you, a reminder of your loving bond that has grown since your wedding day. You twist your hand to observe the silver band that ornaments your ring finger. The diamond twinkles back at you in the bask of the light.

“I think Yunjin and I are getting brunch, then we’re going shopping right after, and later in the evening we’re gonna drink some wine and paint as we gossip about our husbands.”

Sunghoon laughs. “You’ve got a busy day ahead of yourself then.” He nudges your side playfully and you giggle. “Don’t forget to fit me into your schedule. Let’s go out for dinner tonight.”

“Cold noodles and ginseng chicken soup?”

“Where it all started.”

You envelop yourself in your husband's embrace, showering him with affectionate kisses. Starting from his moles and moving to both cheeks, his nose, forehead, and, ultimately, his irresistible lips, you express your love and absolute adoration for him with each tender peck.

“I love you, Mr. Park.” You murmur against his plush tiers.

His fingers delicately sweep aside the loose strands of hair obscuring your face, as he lovingly takes in every captivating feature, examining them with deep worship.

“I love you more, Mrs. Park.”

Two years ago you and Sunghoon sealed the knot in California. The ceremony took place at the Alila Ventana wedding venue, perched on a cliff along the rugged coast line of Big Sur. It offered a dramatic landscape, nestled amidst towering redwood trees, and a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean; the perfect picturesque backdrop for photos and videography. The outdoor spaces, gourmet dining, and coastal elegance were truly significant factors of your reception.

Sunghoon kept his promise to Mrs. Kim when the time came to send out the wedding invitations. Her excitement was beyond words as both of you entered the restaurant, radiating a newfound delight. Her gaze immediately fixated on the sparkling diamond ring on your finger— the same one she had scolded him for, which was now complete.

Come time to exchange your vows, Sunghoon's heartfelt declaration to cherish and devote himself to your love made it extremely difficult to keep your makeup in tact. Yunjin, your appointed maid of honor, had to step in to hand you tissues one after the other. The audience laughing to themselves at your showcase of emotions.

True to his words, Sunghoon carried you bridal style as he stalked down the aisle. Your families and friends cheering from their seats, their joyous applause resonating through the air. The warmth of their smiles and the happy tears in their eyes mirrored the love that enveloped you both in that moment.

Since then, life with Sunghoon after marriage was anything but dull.

[live-laugh-lenney]

Arthur tv one shot were yn does some kind of martial art (defo not specific to me 🤭) and they get injured in a comp and he takes care of them?

thank you! xoxoxo

loving and caring, worried, boyfriend!arthur has me swooning.

arthur remembered it vividly.

the way yn unexpectedly cried out loud once her foot laid flat on the mat beneath her feet, the way she fell to the floor clutching her knee in pain, the way her opponent stepped back out of shock and the way the room fell silent apart from the sobs that came from deep within her chest that bounced off the walls and echoed around the room.

he stood from his seat beside her coach, worry coursing through his veins, his stomach knotting with fear because he'd never seen her in such a vulnerable position before. and as he took timid steps toward where she was curled up on the floor, worming his way through the gaps of those who had rushed to her aid, he could hear her muttering soft profanities and they tried to stretch her leg out.

"i'm her boyfriend, can i sit with her?"

he didn't really know why he had asked that question; he was going to sit with her, and hold her hand, whether they allowed him to or not. he dropped to his knees beside her head, one hand cupping the back of her head whilst his other reached to hold onto one of her hands, a shiver running through her once she felt the familiar touch.

"this hurts so bad," she cries softly, eyes squeezed shut because she couldn't bear the look at those who were creating a fuss around her, "i don't know what happened. i went for a kick, it felt fine, but-"

"let's not worry right now, okay?" arthur says softly, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that were soaking her cheek, tendrils of her hair sticking to her skin from the moisture, "we'll get you checked out at the hospital, yeah? i think someone's called an ambulance."

"no," she frantically shakes her head and it's the first time she opens her eyes, full of tears and panic and arthur's sure he felt his own eyes collecting moisture because he hated seeing her in such a way, "i'm fine, it's just a sprain, i'm sure of it. i didn't do anything harsh to make it break or twist it. i've done that move thousands of times, arthur!"

"i know, i know," he says, watching as a first-aider stretched out and bent up her knee to see any damage that had been done, her winces and groans of pain enough for them to realise she'd done something major enough to require a doctor's opinion, "it's best to get checked, lovie. i'll be with you the whole time, i promise."

"the whole time?"

he nods quickly and she lets out a deep breath through her mouth, a gulp being swallowed back as she looked at where the source of her pain was coming from, no redness or bruising to make her worry but she knew it was something that would keep her from competing for a while.

once the ambulance had arrived and she'd been taken to the nearest hospital to get checked out, pumped full of antibiotics to keep the pain from worsening and to help keep her swelling at bay, she felt a little more at ease. relaxing a little more when she was attached to all the monitors in her own ward, awaiting for her x-ray results, feeling a little drowsy but wanting nothing more than to go home to her own bed and her own home comforts.

arthur stayed by her side, the entire time.

even though she insisted he went home for a little bit, because she didn't know how long she was going to be waiting for, he insisted on staying with her. he didn't want to leave her alone, no when she was so vulnerable and scared and unknowing of what was happening to her knee.

"remember the night george cracked his fat head open?" arthur asks, filling the silent room with something other than the whirring of the machinery and the beeping of her heart monitor, "and we sat with him the entire night whilst he had his head stitched up."

"when chris went for a spin on the wheelchair he found and he nearly ended up in the hospital himself?" yn snickers and arthur laughs out loud, shaking his head at the memory of halloween the previous year, adjusting his seated position in the chair beside her bed, "the man's eyebrow grew back bushier than ever."

he leans forward in his chair and reaches for her hand, squeezing it softly, eyes focused on the pillow that was keeping her knee bent at a more comfier angle than laid flat out, the way she kept wiggling her toes to make sure she still had movement.

"i'm sorry for this," she mutters and he shakes his head, "seriously, i am. you could be back home right now, streaming or doing a video, not sat in the hospital with me and my stupid knee."

"i don't mind," he insists, "at least i know you aren't by yourself. you're my girlfriend, i'd drop everything for you, lovie."

she scrunches her features up and smiles at him, and she squeezes his hand back in response, letting her head drop back against the pillow behind her head.

"it can't be much longer, surely," she wonders and arthur looks at the watch on his wrist, "how long have we been here?"

"a couple of hours, at least," he informs her, "shall i go and find out?"

a sprain.

she was certain it was more than just a simple sprain, given the pain she felt when she first set her foot back on the ground in the gym, but she couldn't have been happier to know it wasn't a break or a fracture or a twist in her knee that required extensive surgery and a lot of physiotherapy to get her walking again. yn was sent back home with antibiotics to treat the swelling and the pain as well as with the strict rule of staying off of her feet for a couple of weeks...

... and arthur insisted she stayed with him.

half of her belongings were at his house, anyway; pants and socks to keep fresh, she could wear his tees to bed, and he had fresh stock of her shampoo and conditioner as well as her favourite body scrubs and washes so it wasn't necessary to stop off at her house. the only thing that felt daunting was the steps that were needed to get to his front door.

"i'll just carry you in the foyer," arthur says as the uber stops outside of his apartment complex and she rolls her eyes, "i'm not having you walk on it. not so soon after it's happened."

"arthur-"

"no," he holds a finger to her lips and she frowns in his direction, "i'll leave your crutches in the reception area and i'll come back and get them when you're settled upstairs. let me look after you, please."

"fine," she huffs and he exits the car, running round the back to help her out of the other side, letting her lean all of her weight on him, "i'm not an invalid though, arthur."

"i know," he smiles, closing the door behind them as the uber drives away back down the road, "i just want to look after you, okay? let me take care of you." xx

[starstruckwillows]

♡ oh beautiful moon, such sorrow - r.l ♡

starstruckwillows 🂱

requested by @cheezeyfoodles 🌈 i sorta hate how i've written this but we move

teacher!remus lupin x gn!werewolf!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, purely platonic/paternal, mention of death and tiredness

professor lupin wonders if he's ruined your future

you didn't stay in the hospital wing anymore - it was too risky, having someone potentially see you in there every month; every full moon. someone would notice, someone would piece it together.

usually, you settled for your collection of potions. wolfsbane for before the full moon, healing for after, and something to keep you awake for the next school day.

sometimes, though, no potion could keep the wolf ripping into your skin and mind, pulling darkness from every corner of your brain and flushing it through your body.

that night was rough - both you and your professor awoke bloody and brusied in the shrieking shack the next morning. it had taken everything in you to drag yourself back to your dorm.

you trudged into defence against the dark arts feeling like death was wrapping it's achy arms around you in an awkwardly comforting embrace. the chill of the room sent a jolt through your cracking spine.

professor lupin did not chide you for not paying attention for the majority of the lesson. he did not berate the lack of work you did. he just tapped your desk as everyone packed up, lazy as it was last period, to indicate he wanted you to wait behind.

no explanations were exchanged between the two of you - the time for that had long since gone. particularly notable was that lupin had abandoned his constant apologies for the situation you were in. nothing could fix it, so there was no use giving into sleep repellant guilt.

"here." the teacher prompted, sliding a bar of chocolate across the desk to you. you accepted with a weak smile.

there was a beat where he took a breath, clearly wanting to ask you something, but deciding better of it.

you frowned, "what is it?"

"are you worried for your future?"

you pondered for a moment, the chocolate restoring a sense of comfort in your bones, before you answered honestly, "i don't know. i was, at first. but you're here, you're working, despite everything."

remus did not reply, and you knew he wasn't sure whether to believe you or not.

to be safe, you added, "if i turned out like you, professor, i wouldn't be sad about that."

in return, you received the tired smile you were all too familiar with, "thank you, y/n."

there was another pause in which you continued on with your chocolate, while he dug through his desk for something.

he produced a page of blank parchment, and you tilted your head, "what's that?"

"something i confiscated from harry. it's a... it's a guide me and my friends enchanted when we were at school."

you nodded; remus rarely spoke of his time at hogwarts, unless it was pertinent to aiding you with your lycanthropy. you had previously believed that was because it was a bitter time for him, but you begun to wonder if that wasn't the case as he continued.

"we decided to be nosy and cocky and... teenagers i suppose. it was easier to forget what i would face each month when we were together."

tentatively, you asked, "did any of them come back to teach at hogwarts?"

at first, you thought you'd crossed a line, and that the professor wasn't going to reply. but he did.

"no. only one... well, maybe two, made it through the war."

"oh."

no use in saying sorry. it didn't fix the past of the future. it wasn't the expression of empathy people thought it to be, in your humble opinion.

remus sighed, "it's harder to get through a full moon alone when your accustomed to being with others for so long. make sure that doesn't happen to you, y/n, appreciate any help but acknowledge it can't be permanent, no matter what promises are made. can you promise me that?"

you didn't quite understand his desperation, but you agreed regardless, "alright, i promise."

before you left his office, he gave you another record to listen to. it had become something of a weekly tradition for him to educate you on his era of music.

music was a pretty thing. to distract, to feel, to focus.

night had fallen as you returned to your dorm room again, the silver glow of the moon casting ghostly shadows across the others shuffling around and preparing for bed.

settling into your own, you sighed as your damaged body relaxed into the sheets.

from your position, you had a view of the moon, appearing almost full, but of course you knew it was waning now.

oh beautiful moon, the child in you thought, such sorrow for something so peaceful.

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly

[obeymematches]

Hello! Are you taking matchup requests? If yes, I'd like to send one in for Obey Me. I'd like a pina colada please

I'll go by ⭐. My pronouns are she/her and I'm demisexual

Appearance: I am South Asian with long wavy black hair. Usually tie my hair in a half ponytail at the back because I like how it looks and I don't really like the feeling of hair on my shoulders. I am 165 cm tall and reasonably fit

Personality: I'm calm, collected and hardworking. I can be a bit aloof and arrogant sometimes, but I make sure it doesn't get out of hand. I am curious and perfectionistic, and I'm also pretty academically smart (though I sometimes struggle with impostor syndrome lol). The gifted kid burnout syndrome is catching up, though. People say I do have a bit of a cold facade, but once they get to know me, they say I'm much warmer and gentler than they initially thought. I care deeply for my friends and my family, so I'll do whatever I can for them. I do face a lot of pressures too from having to be the perfect oldest daughter, the therapist friend (despite psychology not being my major, more of a special interest) and from having to do well in school (as much as I enjoy engineering, it is kicking my ass low-key). It may not look like it, but I'm very much a romantic, but I'm more practical about it if that makes any sense 😅😅

I often bake my closest friends and family a cake on their birthday with a silly message written on it. I also has a soft spot (special interest) for outer space and love to stargaze wherever the skies are clear. Don't know if this is important, but I do make some pretty mean South Asian food if I do say so myself

Likes: Books, herbal tea, art, lofi hip-hop, video games, anime, drawing, spicy food, affogato, outer space

Dislikes: Incompetence, unnecessary conflicts, bullies, fake friends dishonesty, cruelty, dog-eared book pages, anyone who dares threaten my family, loud noises, itchy fabrics

oh! we've done an exchange not too long ago.

I've decided to match you with Solomon.

• Your academia vibes definitely match his; don’t get me wrong, although he is a master of many things, unfortunately he isn’t a fashion icon (yet?) but he thinks academia style looks elegant / cute depending on the day. • It just means that he is attracted to you at first sight. Which is always a good start, even if you don’t elope into a long talk the very first time you meet. • (Bet she looking 🔥 when she feels comfortable and cute!) • To be fair he isn’t here to make friends with humans; he was fine neglecting the human world for several decades. He isn’t going to care more, now that another human is here…. but curiosity got the best of him and eventually he made sure to meet you before classes. (No. He didn’t attend that class.) • After your quick chat it became a weekly habit of his, to meet you there and then, start some kind of conversation (you’d think he was awkward and you’d be very wrong. Listen he communicates and manipluates his ways into forming a pact with almost every person there.) • It only starts getting awkward when he starts to like your personality for real real. For example this week he arrived 5 mins earlier and was waiting for you. • After a while you two found yourselves in front of your class’s door 20 minutes (!) before it would begin. Huh. • He liked your cold facade ngl, he likes a challenge. However, his ice cold frozen heart slowly, very slowly starts to melt as you warm up to him more and more. • He learned that you are reliable and trustworthy, which he very much appreciates. It lowkey made him want to get closer to you, I mean spiritually. Please help him with this or that, let me show you something, you must see this, etc. • This went on for months, you were truly good friends when he asked you the question you were excited to hear; Would you date me? Shall we go on a date? • Of course he jokes about it being a human thing and at first you can’t tell if hes just being funny or he is serious…. • By now he figured out that you like romantic stuff so if you agree to date him he is going to make the first date romantic just to please you! Possibly stargazing as you like that, or maybe a museum if you are not comfortable with meeting at night. • He secretly craved for a long time to have this level of intimacy with someone and so he’d make sure to please you; whatever you r love language is he does it to make you feel loved and secure! • The fact that you can and will cook is going to be life saving in the long run! • Some downsides of this relationship include him making dog ears to some of the books, he is always up to no good, very known public image so it’s hard to go out in public without anyone stopping you two (in the devildom, the human realm is safe).

My second option for you was Barbatos, honestly the only downside of that relationship is that neither of you is going to start and try to have a good conversation…. so it’s a rocky beginning, but if you get past that phase somehow, it’s going to be pretty solid if I do say so myself.

[can-i-see-your-passport-please]

A Collection of my Creations in the HLVRAI so far

Heyyy thought I should do this as a new pinned postttt

My asks are, unless they are closed, always open, and I'm always down to hear your thoughts and ideas and shit! If I didn't answer an ask, it's most likely because I didn't have the energy to answer it and it's now just sitting there and I cannot answer it because it would be awkward. But I am cherishing it <3

CHECK OUT MY FRIEND DIMONDS'S STUCK TOGETHER AU WHERE BENREY AND GORDON GET FUSED INTO A SILLY GUY NAMED BERDEY

hehehe anyway

All my HLVRAI fanart and writing in general is here on my art blog!

Here's a vampire AU I made! Twist to this is that Gordon's a vampire, Benrey's human and just weird as fuck. There's no real plot to this (though at the time of writing this post I do plan to write a fic or two), but @/winkyfaceanon has made two really sweet fics for this AU, check em out!

Here's a compilation I made with my friend Dimonds for all my reasons Gordon's a lil bit gay for Benrey, please skip the first 38 seconds I'm begging you. Oh, and if you're gonna leave a comment about how I'm Wrong, or if the video pisses you off, you can do this very simple thing called Just Stop Watching The Video (can you tell i've gotten annoying comments on this video)

Here's an older animatic of the bridge for the song Horror Show! This is what my first designs looked like btw fjndksjnfjknds

Here's three small and silly animatics <3

Here's a Frenrey animatic of the song uwu by Chevy! I still think this one's REALLY cute <3

Here's stuff I've made in Gmod! A lotta Frenrey, as you may expect from me at this point.

MY FANFICTIONS

These are listed in order of when I wrote them, and they take place in different continuities for the most part. Pretty much all of them are Frenrey, so if you don't like Frenrey you mayy not want to read it. Majority of my fics are oneshots, since I have low motivation jnsdkjfnds. I don't write smut (I'm literally sex repulsed asexual and a minor /silly), and don't tend to write hurt no comfort except for once, but I do write pretty heavy angst. Please read the content warnings for a lot of these.

I explicitly forbid any of my creative work from being fed into an AI in any way.

IF YOU SEND ASKS ABOUT MY FICS I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER

unnamed. Takes place post-canon. Benrey at this point has been alone for months, isolating himself after Xen and spiraling really badly. Then he leaves the house once aaand runs into Gordon. Reunion ensues. I didn't name it because I couldn't think of a name and it was my first fic. Read the content warnings.

You're still here, and you're beautiful to me. Takes place post-canon. Benrey respawns after Xen, and none of his injuries are healed. He then finds Gordon, who helps to take care of his injuries. I personally consider this one of my best works. There's things I'd change now, of course, but I still love it a lot. Read the content warnings.

as long as your heart continues to beat. Takes place during canon. Benrey's listening to Gordon's heartbeat after the betrayal. And then it stops. This one isn't beta read and I wrote it in like, a few hours on the fly, so it's not my best, but I like it.

Cuddles are the best cure for depression actually. Takes place post-canon. This is exactly what it says on the tin. Benrey's got depression and can't get out of bed, Gordon cuddles him. Short but sweet.

If ten million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep. Takes place post-canon. Gordon and Benrey are kinda in a relationship, and Benrey gets a package at the door that he's not letting Gordon see. In the middle of the night, Gordon gets to see what it is. This one's REALLY cute, and I really love it. It's fluffy and it's sweet.

all for the love of you. Saying this straight-up, READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS. Takes place post-canon. Tommy finds a... note from Benrey that he wrote before Xen. I have more complicated feelings towards this fic, I don't personally like it as much in retrospect and think I could've done much better on it, but I'm putting it here since it is still one of my fics. Read the content warnings, for the love of god.

Benrey gets drunk fic. Takes place post-canon. This is just a fluff fic I wrote for the third HLVRAI anniversary where Benrey's drunk and flirting with a very sober and very gay Gordon, who does not know how to cope with this.

do your job and keep them safe. Takes place during canon. This is... well, let's just say it's a reframing of HLVRAI from Benrey's perspective (at least, in align with my headcanons). Only the first thousand or so words are on Ao3, the rest are in Google Docs, as I made... choices that could only be made in Google Docs. I always link my Ao3 because it has the EXTREMELY necessary content warnings, which I couldn't include on the Google Doc. I personally think this is one of my best works, and if you are in a space where you can read it, please do, this over anything. Read the content warnings.

you're alone. and it's all your fucking fault. Benrey has respawned from Xen, in an apartment, and realizes that he is all alone and cannot be near his friends again. This is one of the only hurt no comfort fics I've written, and can serve as a bit of a prequel to that unnamed fic (if you'd like to see it that way). Read the content warnings.

[unlimitedgolden]

I wish to acquire knowledge about funny green deer man, quick list your ten favourite tidbits about the character or the Soil Charge Triad to use on you will be decided

⏱️

you've activated my toontown sleeper agent (I NEED TO PLAY IT AGAIN) This is gonna be long so I'll put the reading thing HERE

Dr. Zippety Wonderwhatsit (Just "Zip" for short) was not a generated name, it was handcrafted. "Dr." because I like mad doctor characters, "Zippety" somewhat in reference to "Zebedee" from "The Magic Roundabout", "Wonderwhatsit" to mimic when people say "whatchamacallit", and just shortened to Zip sometimes for peoples sanity.

He was just intended to be a Toontownsona, but has actually now become my fursona. In doing so he's replaced Fatlip, my previous fursona (Though I still cherish Fatlip, since he was made by an old friend I'll never see again)

Zip gets paired with a few of the different characters in TTCC. You've probably seen him with Buck Ruffler and Alton S. Crow, but Dave Brubot is the 3rd addition to his collection of Robot Wives. Zip is also paired with my boyfriends Toon "Cap'n Snappy Gigglesnout". With this, I hope it's obvious Zip is polyamorous!!

Zip does have a sibling, my sisters Toon "Little Pearl" (the kiwi). Though to explain why they're different species and still related? TL;DR what happens when a toon and a cog fall in love + headcanons on how Toons are "born" (drawn into existence) and Zip is the result of a joke, Little Pearl had more thought.

The first gags Zip had were "squirt" and "drop". For Clash players you're probably screaming at the top of your lungs for this combo and in my defence: I thought it was really funny.

A majority of the time you will NOT find Zip without a hat in game, but in art I draw him with nothing added on. This is because he looks so bald in game it hurts my soul. You'll also never find him without those shades, I've never taken them off since the moment I put them on

Zip has influenced both my internet and irl life. During my last hospitalisation I had "toontown fixation withdrawls" and recreated him in Splatoon out of desperation. After that he influenced the decision of getting circle glasses just so I could get matching circle shades, and my favourite sets of clothes that I have bought since his creation are all shades of green (a.k.a my VFX classes worst nightmare). This also means after years of not knowing my favourite colour, it's blatantly obvious what I like now

Zip, like me, is British. Just like me the angrier he gets the more British he sounds (going from "oh my god fuck off die" to "You fucking wanker piss of you tosser. dickhead"

A little ramble: Zip is probably so intertwined with myself because of transgender metaphors. I've seen deers used as trans metaphors with the whole antlers thing, either losing them (mtf) or gaining them (ftm). Sometimes I forget to draw him with antlers but I feel it fits his entire [waves hands] trans thing

FINAL FACT: Zip takes a GREAT PRIDE in his house. It is very well decorated and usually changes around with the seasons (e.g. changing wallpapers to match halloween/christmas). In typing this I realise I've missed a bunch of catalogues in game <- will never recover

OK THATS ALL I THINK <- still could talk more he feels

[fluffydavey]

❛ you feel like home to me. ❜

soft and sweet sentence starters || prompts

It's a few weeks after Pulitzer lowered the price of the papes, when he's sat in Jack's new corner of The World, their new political cartoonist who's been shoved in a corner away from the journalists and the editors. "The important people," Jack had said with a roll of his eyes, despite the fact everyone could see how proud Jack was of his own workplace. He's even got his own office, which isn't something any of them could have dreamed about.

If anyone could achieve something so great, of course it would be Jack.

The World has gotten a lot louder since Jack's begun working for them, since most of the Newsies come keep him company at different points of the day while he's still working. Today it's Davey's turn, having had a half-day at school with homework to complete so he can return to collect Les in time to bring home to his parents.

Jack is moving his cramped wrist, staring down at the drawing below him. Davey doesn't even need to be sat close to him know it's perfect, the other boy has always been his own worst critic. "I don't even know what this means," Jack states, staring at the drawing in front of him.

"Everyone's eating them up," Davey says without looking up from his poetry book. "Circulation has gone up since you started your cartoons."

"It's not because of me," he says defiantly, and this makes Davey look up at him finally, his work can wait for a moment or two.

"Oh so it's just a major coincidence then?" he asks, playfully. He gets up, making his way to take a peek at Jack's drawing. He places an arm on Jack's chair, and leans over him to have a look. He won't admit it to anyone - especially not Jack or Katherine - but he's needed to ask his father about Jack's drawing a few times since it's gone over his head. But he can appreciate art, and he knows a good drawing when he sees one. "You've definitely got Roosevelt's nose."

"After everything he did for us, it feels mean drawing him like this," Jack admits, which Davey understands. He still thinks it's insane that the governor of New York knows who he is, so he can't actually imagine how Jack feels about the role he's been given.

"Do you regret taking up the job offer?" he asks, watching as Jack starts tapping his pencil against the table. He's wondered for a while - he's gone from the leader of the newsies to joining Davey in having to leave so shortly after their win. Davey had been dreaming of returning to school, but now he's back, he wants nothing more than to be out in the streets of New York selling with Jack. He counts the hours down until the weekends, when it's just the two of them, Les and the sunny New York streets.

"Sometimes," Jack admits. "It feels like I've been thrown into this new world that I don't fit in, and I don't want to fit in. These rich folk are no fun Davey."

Davey laughs at that, getting lost in the intricate drawings in front of him. There's something nagging at him though, and he doesn't think he can hold onto it any longer. "And what about Santa Fe? I honestly thought you'd have gone already by now. Made a new home for yourself."

Jack stills, and Davey thinks he may have pushed too far. So he's thought about Jack going to Santa Fe a few times - it isn't like he hasn't had any reason not to. For as long as he's known Jack, he's known the boy has craved for something more. Something better than they've all gotten out of life so far. And if that's Santa Fe...he's happy for Jack.

Really.

"I realised I don't need Santa Fe to make a home for myself," Jack says slowly, which surprises Davey. He looks away from the drawing, and watches Jack instead, who's playing with a pen in his hand, his knee bouncing beneath the table.

"Oh?" he asks, some sort of relief blossoming in his heart, as the idea of Jack staying in the city makes Davey feel a sort of way that he's not actually sure how to describe. It's dangerous and thrilling, and he's acutely aware he's known this boy for a few weeks, but he thinks he would be lost without Jack at this point now.

Jack turns in his chair, lifting his head to face Davey. Davey takes in the soft features in Jack's eyes, the smile that Davey's come to realise is only reserved for him. "Why would I need to go anywhere else when you feel like home to me."

Before he can even stop to register what Jack's just said to him, Jack's standing up and pressing his lips against his own. Kissing Jack is like giving him the key to everything that he’s ever wanted, that he never even thought he could dream of. He thinks he'll never come back from tasting Jack, his heart will forever be with the boy who’s holding onto the lapels of his school uniform.

It’s soft. Much softer than Davey had ever imagined their first kiss would be. Jack’s lips are soft and warm against his, and the smell of him is so much stronger for being so close. Jack’s hand inches up to his neck, holding Davey close to him.

When they finally break for air, they stare at each other for what seems like hours. Davey can't help the nervous laugh that falls from his lips, and Jack follows suit. "Plus, why would I want to go there? I hear there's sandstorms."

Davey doesn't hesitate to knock Jack's cap off of his head, before leaning down to kiss him again. He doesn't think he'll ever tire of the sensation.

[thegoldenshi-shi]

I'm starting to think I was dreaming the last ask I sent... I swear, I vividly remember sending you an ask gushing about your art, how nice you are, and just rambling about what all has been going on in life, but man... /j

Also, sorry if it seems like I only send asks after tf art, I swear I love everything you do, but the transformers stuff is the only stuff I know anything about, so it's the only thing I really have confidence in blabbering about.

I did an oopsy and doordashed Timmy's to work today, so I got donuts and a breakfast bagel sandwhich to eat today. Good thing, too! I have been /HUNGRY/. We managed to ship out almost two hundred packages today, and that's with just three people who can pack, and one who can ship orders. I'm Super duper happy about it! Everything else has been absolutely crazy. I've decided to go through all my books in my closet, and the books on my shelves, and start bocing some in better shaped boxes, so I can donate them. Gonna end up checking with people I know if they want any first, though. Also gonna go through my stuffed animals, find ones that I'm not too attached to, and donate them too. After washing them first, of course.

I have also fallen into a hole of true crime podcasts, which I'm pretty surprised about. Cause, like. I don't like hearing about how bad people can be? I dislike people enough, I just. Don't wanna absolutely ruin my opinion on humans anymore. Like, I know there are good people out there, really really good people. But I also don't really like the vast majority of publicized humanity. You always hear about all the awful things... the worst of humanity shouts and screams their opinions, all the time. Broadcasts em to the world. And, it's difficult for the truly good people to be heard...

On a very much less heavy topic, my nephew is in town! I haven't seen him in about a year, so it's nice to see him. Even if small children make me super anxious and uncomfy. We're also looking at an August vacation, which I'll need to prep for cause I'm pale as a ghost and it'll be three days straight of being outdoors.

What've you been up to?

~Smooch

Hi there Smooch!

It's good to see you in my inbox again, I was starting to wonder how you were doing.

It sounds like you're having a good time of it, donuts for breakfast is a special treat hehe. And being busy at work is a good too, being productive is always a plus. It hasn't been that long since I went through my book collection, so I feel your pain there. Hoarding books (and drawing paper for some reason) is probably my one weakness in trying to keep my space tidy. I'm running out of shelves T_T

So far as your new interest in true crime podcasts, congratulations on finding a new source of enjoyment. If something intrigues you, I say don't let your preconceived notions about what you enjoy and don't enjoy. I must admit that I dislike podcasts myself, just because I can never focus on them, the same goes for audio books for some reason. But I do understand their appeal, and am always happy to hear someone is enjoying them. I hope you have fun on your vacation, I too am pale and require sunscreen if I go out without a good layer over my skin. Some of my friends have said I look like a vampire with my complexion and dark circles, which left me going "Thanks guys". I wish you no sunburn and good weather for your vacation!

As far as what I've been up to: I've been working on my webtoon, trying to figure out a schedule for making it that works, building up courage to actually post it and you know...actually get the financial stuff in place to start the business aspect of my art? hehe....

My main job has picked up for the season, so I'm switching gears and getting ready for less and less free time, and I'm trying to incorporate some classical music into my pianist job while bracing for spring-time "Special Music" rush.

Also, I don't mind that you only ask after my Transformers work. I don't expect anyone to enjoy every single thing I post, there are a thousand fandoms out there and it would be ignorant to expect everyone to know about all my interests.

[pepsideer]

Hey, this is Melons, aka Buck or Pepsi. Here's my otherkin and alterhuman blog, since I want to have that on a separate blog from my main. I'm 25, queer, and use he/him pronouns.

General DNI criteria applies, including pro-shippers (ie people who enjoy producing, consuming, or discussing material that sexualizes minors, adult/minor relationships, or incest). Sorry to open with this one, but I'm a survivor and want nothing to do with any of that. Also, expressly calling out TERF/radfem/gendercrit, however you want to say it, as well. I don't consent to interaction from you, even if you keep it to a secret sideblog or something.

With that being said, here's my about-me under the cut.

I am a DID system, but we run this blog relatively collectively, and the alterhuman identities here are ones shared by most of us, or at least all major hosts. Because of that, we will be collectively referring to ourselves with I/Me/Myself, unless referring to a specific alter. Our main is @melon-arts and @pepsiwatermelon.

Also, due to my DID, I have severe memory problems- if you want me to unfollow perminantly, please hard-block me. I won't remember that I've been soft-blocked, and will refollow the next time I see your blog if I recognize it. I don't soft-block, but I hard-block extremely freely.

I'm by far not new to the otherkin community- my other two main kintypes are dragonkin, discovered around 2014-2015, and angelkin, discovered around 2016-ish. I run the blog @modernangelsuggestion as well, among a few others, but I'm not really active there anymore. I'm exploring the possibility of being a deer otherkin/therian, specifically a white-tailed deer.

I see otherkin personally as a spiritual experience, and am not really "kin for fun". I don't reject the concept, and my "kin limitus test" has always been "if you look at something and go 'Me!' you're probably otherkin". However, my personal experiences tend to run a little deeper than that, so do please keep that in mind while interacting.

I'm also in the process of fully deconstructing and examining my moral code and system. I might talk about that here, but I'm not sure yet. In effect though, I'm working on removing the Fundamentalist moral framework that I was brought up with- I had thought that I had rid myself of most of it, but I've found myself falling back into old thought patterns of shame, so I've decided to pick it apart entirely, and put it back together from scratch. Because of its mental proximity to spirituality, I might bring it up here.

I am ex-christian. I don't currently identify with any religious movements, but sometimes dabble in spirituality. I do not want christians trying to re-convert me in any capacity, but I'm happy to discuss spirituality with them or to have interaction with them, as long as there's a clear boundary that I do not want to be proselytized to. Other faiths and religions are also welcome, with that same boundary, though as I'm less familiar with them I'm less likely to have anything insightful to say relating.

I am not an 18+ blog in the sense that any minors can follow me, however I ask you blog the tag #spicytime , in case I discuss adult/nsfw topics. It's unlikely, but I like having that in my back pocket. I'd also like to emphasize that I will block any minors interacting with a post tagged #spicytime.

I do my best to tag triggers, but I often forget and am often on mobile as well. If you need anything specific tagged, I'll do my best to tag it, and if I miss anything, feel free to remind me and I'll fix it. I would appreciate having photos of clowns tagged, but my filtering system is generally good enough that it handles it on its own.

If you've read this far, thank you so much! Have a free pepsi and have a nice day.

[greateasternj69]

As I've reintroduce my persona Patrick as a self-insert character in my Sentient Machine Universe 29A. I introduce to you his famous, wealthy and gracefully beautiful wife, Grace H. Rivera.

Grace was born on 14th of May 1998 to an extremely wealthy and upper class family living in Los Angeles, California, United States as a daughter of a successful businessmen. Growing up in a life of luxury, Grace unlike other upper class Americans who were always self-centred and rude. Grace was raised to be well-behaved, honest and kind to others around her, even those below her social class.

She took a massive interest in art, becoming inspired by several great and expensive masterpieces made my many of the famous artists within her local area of Los Angeles. Inspired to be like the great creative talents she idolised, she spent a lot of time practicing her craft, with her having major support from her parents who sent her off to an expensive art schools and art colleges within the local area, as well as herself taking lessons from other artist's she followed over the internet, which also allowed her to experience other art scenes from around the world. She even had a major interest in classic cars, with her family owning a collection of them with her favourite being a 58 Ahevrolet Pampala.

Grace, is also well-known for her outstanding beauty, especially her ultra long and thick shiny Golden Blonde hair which she never cuts, allowing it to continue to grow thicker and more gorgeous overtime. She, prefers her hair not to be done up in different styles as she prefers to have it in it's natural appearance as it brings out her true beauty. While she has had many boy's admire her because of this, they never took any interest in her, just as she never took any interest in men who were of her culture as she dreamed of marrying someone who was British, and she would eventually meet that very person.

At the age of 16 the year after her fame in art took off, Grace would meet her future husband Patrick Oakley who was lover of sentient machines mainly trains who lived in the UK, and was also a talented artist just like her, though from a middle class family. Grace was completely taken away by Patrick's intellect, knowledge on machines and talent in drawing and creating works of art of them, and although he wasn't of her social class, it didn't matter to her. She really like his childishness and handsomeness, feeling very drawn towards Patrick with admiration.

Over the next few years the two of them would form a very deep relationship, keeping it a secret from their families until at the age 20. Grace would meet Patrick face to face while at an art exhibition in the UK, with both revealing their secret to their families and them wishing to marry each other. While their families where hesitant at first due to the class difference between them, they where able to sort things out with each other, and agreed to allow the two to marry, with Patrick's family seeing Grace a chance for their son to further his art career with her as his wife, with Grace being able to use her families extreme wealth to help him achieve more connections and status.

The two were son happily married to each other with Grace moving with her new husband to the UK into one of her families private residences in Tarmingham in the Ruleton Estate where they have lived together ever since, and Patrick receiving a little bit of fame of his own in his art career with Graces collaboration and help in both each others art thanks to her fame and influence. She even knows Patrick's little secret of being a 'Whisper Shifter' and his kiss on their wedding day give her the gift of immortality, causing her to no longer physically age, and has been the happiest women and famous artist with him by her side.

Something that is a quirk to Graces character, as she sometimes wears a beautiful ballgown not only for special events, but casually as well when she's by herself in her mansion, and when she's around her husband when she's not thinking about going out anywhere. Her favourite colours of ballgown are Gold, Royal Blue, and Crimson Red. Patrick absolutely loves it when she does this, as he think's it adds to her beauty, making herself look like a princess to him whenever their alone.

Grace H, Rivera © GreatEasternJ69

[tomyo]

I know I suddenly posted a lot of backlog adventure stuff back to back haha but just a little lore building here. I felt some energy to actually try games after the rush of playing KH3. At the same time, games are hard alone bleh.

Next week though, I'm briefly staying with a friend who I might try to play through with on Sonic Riders and Nights. Last year when I visited him, I brought my Dreamcast down and we went through Jet Set Radio on it so this is the next playthrough together I guess hahaha.

I would of liked to play more Dreamcast games soon, however a lot of mine don't actually work at the moment. Shenmue and Sonic adventure need to be polished which is big oof anxiety and to a much less extent, Cooking Mama cook off. Might even trade that one in to be real. I think it'd probably be the most fun for us to one day attempt a Dream Cast Binge together. Shenmue will certainly be....a heavy meal of a game and other games like Time Stalkers and Space Channel 5 would just be fun with friends. I might even bring the 360 at some point so I can force him to do Free Riders with me too hahaha.

In general since basically buying every Harvest Moon game out there (as I write this I may or may not be getting grand bazaar and hero of leaf valley 💀) my attention jumped to my Sonic collection. Basically my biggest gap is with Wii era games surprisingly. When I was in elementary to early high school I was pretty big on the games and bought a lot of them for the sub $15 the GameCube ones cost at that time. There is a distinct pain over the fact the copy of Adventure XD I had I had to return for being to scratched given the prices now and for personal reasons, there's someone who I've wanted to be the one to give me their old copy of even though it won't ever happened hahaha. My biggest desires right now are to get my hands on Black Knight but I've also wanted a 360 copy of Unleashed, Generations, Zero Gravity, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Rush adventure and Shuffle also catch my eye but my wallet hurts enough as is. I really need to stop getting into game collecting.

Part of the reason to bring Sonic up is also because I'll probably be playing a replay of Sonic 06 with the friend who leant me his PS4. He apparently never played it but wants to and I love just... Backseat gaming rather than actually playing. Hahahah. Games can be magical but art takes up too much time in my life now. The switch has been helpful for my more on the go lifestyle these days but I often still run short on free time. Even now Ive been wasting work hours to do KH3 this past weekend.

I guess my final little ramble is back to my HM collection. God it's kinda scary how many games I had suddenly bought at once. I keep meaning to play but I know they're the kinda games I have to secretly dedicate a lot of time towards. If I do end up getting the two aforementioned with my recent impulse gets, I've pretty much achieved most major versions of the game. My biggest other missing ones probs come down to the Og Story of Seasons, A version of Back to Nature, and the FoMT remake. Another wonderful life is on there but I'm starting to question my need for that one when I hate all the bachelors which I'm required to marry. Overall though I've reached what feels like a pretty doable conclusion from all of those.

Playing them however.....is a separate case hahaha. I had briefly started a AWLSE run which I might try to pick up, I want to return to Animal Parade as well over the winter, and a Save the Homeland run should??? Be quick??? I just started a my little shop attempt which is a pretty pick up and put down game so I will likely do that daily with Animal Parade when I play that. Overall I think my biggest scare is the handheld games. They should be easier but they feel harder. I want to do A New beginning the most but the game mechanics are daunting. The DS cute Skye playthrough might end up being the better choice from those right now. Which leads me to question how long will I take to go through all those games since I haven't been playing them over the years like they were meant for.

I think if I do go through end of the year as I intend to, recovering from surgery, I will try to go through a bunch of them.

[dorkofclanlavellan]

Hi darling! Can I have Sons of Anarchy, Lord of the Rings & Game of Thrones? Thank you!

𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔: I'm about 5'5, pale skin, blue/grey eyes, blonde around my face and brown then black at the ends of my hair. I have many many piercings, and I'm covered in tattoos. I'm curvy/plus size and am body positive.

𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔: Reading, writing, collecting rings, journaling, tarot. I'm also collecting as many books as I can because I want to have my own library where people can take whichever book they wish.

𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚: INFJ, Chaotic Good, Gryffindor, Aquarius Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising, Pisces Venus (this last one might help with the match especially). I'm a passionate person and have strong opinions. I will always stand up for what I believe in, no matter how scared I feel. I think I'm quite witty and intelligent, although I do get overwhelmed quite easily. I'm incredibly open-minded and progressive. I love to laugh and make others laugh too. I'm sensitive, and intuitive and can pick up on other people very easily. I have strong gut-feelings and kinda ... understand a person's vibe? Like I can sense someone's aura but not see their colour.

𝑨𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄: I love cottagecore, I'm very witchy but also a little grunge and gothic at the same time.

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: Learning - especially witchcraft, watching tv, day-dreaming, listening and discovering new music, I love being at home, writing and then taking a reading break. I adore baths and constantly buy items from Lush.

𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: (other than the usual injustices of sexism, racism, and homophobia), I strongly dislike spiders and will scream whenever I see one. I don't like close-minded people, or those who make fun of others. I hate passive-aggressiveness, large crowds and loud sudden noises.

𝑳𝒊𝒍 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆:

・Have shaved my head. Asked my stepdad for his clippers and went into the bathroom and ...hacked at my hair. It was very liberating, I think every woman should do it at least once in her lifetime

・I adore animals - I have a cat and dog! I want more but my cat is too much of a princess and won't allow any other animal in the house

・Bought a tattoo gun from the internet and I tattoo myself. I do the majority of my own piercings as well. I like to learn how to do things like that. I've kinda learned how to do hair and do mine, my mum's and my nunna's.

Sons of Anarchy ~ I ship you with Juice!

I think you being an introvert and him being an extrovert would flow rather nicely. And he adores your ability to take initiative to learn how to tattoo and pierce yourself. He'll even ask you to give him a tattoo if you'd like.

He definitely loves to come home from a day with the club and either curl up and watch tv with you or join you for a bath. Though, knowing Juice, he'd probably buy a tv just for the bathroom so you can do both

And just when he thinks Juice couldn't possibly love you anymore, you always intuitively know when he needs or wants something and what it is. Though once he notices you getting too wrapped up in taking care of him, he decides it's his turn to take care of you. He knows you like laughing and making people laugh, so his go to way of trying to help you when you're overwhelmed is making you laugh.

Whenever he goes out of town, he makes sure to bring you a book. Sure more than once it's been a book that's already in your collection, sometimes an exact copy, sometimes with different cover art or a different edition, but he likes seeing how happy helping your collection grow makes you.

He may also ask you for a tarot reading if you're up to it, at least once. Or get you some little cottagecore knick-knacks he finds. Which usually results in a lot of teasing from the guys but he doesn't care. If you like rings, well be prepared for the crapton of SAMCRO rings that Juice will bring you. And he'd have all of your collections neatly arranged.

Lord of the Rings ~ I ship you with Merry!

Merry being an extrovert would go rather nicely with your more introverted nature. He'd adore your wit and would love making you laugh as well as laughing with you.

If you go to a party in the Shire with him, he'd want to ensure you have a great time so if it gets too crowded or noisy for you, he'd take you home and you can spend the night unwinding and enjoying each other's company.

He loves your open-mindedness and how you seem to be able to pick up on other people's vibes. He'd ask you for your gut-feelings on people frequently.

His own heart swells at your adoration for animals and while he would love your cat, he'd find some way to fill your desire for more animals. Whether it be a little enclosure outside for a couple more cats or maybe make a small pond in your garden and fill it with fish.

Game of Thrones ~ Tyrion!

ENTPs are one of, if not the, best matches for an INFJ. Together the two of you could engage in deep and meaningful conversations. Or just curl up together and read a good book.

Tyrion would adore your love of reading, writing and collecting books. And with his connections would ensure your collection would grow rather rapidly with reading materials from across the world.

He would never force you to go to social engagements but sometimes being present at certain events is beyond even his control. So he'd stick close to you as reassurance. If there are sudden noises, he'll slip his hand into yours and comfort you. If someone is being passive aggressive towards you or bothering you in anyway, he won't hesitate to put them in their place.

He'd love all the little things you'd enjoy and would want to learn more about them and encourage them. So he'd love to hear all about your studies of witchcraft. He'd join you for baths and/or send for the finest soaps and salts from Essos. He'd find it adorable whenever he notices you daydreaming. Tyrion is not as close minded or paranoid as others in Westeros.

Whenever you get overwhelmed, Tyrion is right there to reassure you or comfort you. Whatever you need, Tyrion will give you. He'd love you for your wit and intelligence as there are only a handful of people that can keep up with him. He'd admire your passion and how you stand up for what you believe in. And you can count him along one of your staunchest defenders.

He'd ask you for your gut-feelings on other people and what your intuition picks up on them. Even if you tell him something he already knows or heard elsewhere, having your input is very reassuring to him.

[so-writing]

The Devil You Know - Tyson Jost (1)

note: I've been gone for a minute because no inspiration to write but it came and here we are! I'm reworking my master because it's incredibly outdated and needs some major work. I haven't linked anything to it in a while and I won't be linking this.

plot: Tyson gets traded and, as much as you love him, you can't let yourself follow him. (Song: Only Be Mine - Arrows in Action)

--

Tomorrow's a nightmare, I'm dreamin' today And my head is haunted, the past just can't stay The devil you know, yeah he comes and he goes I'm selfish and vapid, I hide in my prose He’s not there when you get the phone call. He’s not even the one that calls you.

Hockey websites and Twitter and Instagram accounts light up with the news and you first find out about his trade when one of your friends screenshots a post on Reddit.

“Nico Sturm for Tyson Jost [@nhlupdate]” with a Reddit “confirmed” flair.

Kacey tries her best to keep herself collected when she asks how you’re doing, if you’ve talked to Tyson yet, if you’re going to be okay. You can feel the tension through the phone but you’re too preoccupied by the fact that Tyson has been traded to another team several states away and he hasn’t even bothered to call you yet.

“I’m fine,” you lie, “we’ll get through this,” you lie again. You’re pretty sure lies are going to become a common thing for the next little bit of time.

Kacey doesn’t sound convinced but she lets it go and you say your goodbyes before ending the call. For the first time, in a long time, probably since you moved in, you take a legitimately serious look at the walls around you.

The apartment was cold and unwelcoming when Tyson rented it and asked you to move in with him. The dark marble counters and cold black kitchen appliances paired nicely with the open industrial design and exposed brick throughout the space. It was nice, but it needed a bit of a comfy touch and you were quick it give it one.

You introduced warm art and lighting fixtures and furniture that removed some of the iciness of the empty space and built yourself a little home. It wouldn’t be your home anymore though, because Tyson would be moving away and there was absolutely no way you could afford the place on your own.

“Fuck,” you whispered into the silent apartment, “Tys?”

He still hadn’t called. He wouldn’t call for another two hours, and when he did, it broke your heart even more than you thought it already was.

*

“Hey baby,” he was almost whispering, “you okay?”

“No,” your lower lip began to tremble, “why didn’t you call earlier?”

“I’m sorry, I wanted to. I told Kacey to call for me, they threw me on a plane right away and things just went off from there.”

A soft silence between the two of you, you trying your best not to cry, before Tyson sighed and asked, “what are you thinking right now?”

That was it, the floodgates opened and you left nothing untouched. What was going to happen to the two of you? Were you going to stay together and be long distance? Did he even want that? Was he going to kick you out of his place? How was this going to work? Was it over?

“No,” his voice cracked, “no of course it’s not over.”

“It feels pretty fucking final, Tys.”

“I’ve been traded, it happens to lots of guys.”

“Does it happen to guys who aren’t married and established and have girlfriends that can’t afford to keep their old place and attend their games?”

He didn’t respond immediately, probably trying to compose what he thought was the right thing to say.

“I don’t know, but I know that I love you and that I can take care of you. Fuck, come out here, please? I’ll find a new place for us to live here in Minneapolis. It’ll be a fresh start for the both of us.”

It wasn’t something that had even crossed your mind. The abruptness of his trade that seemingly came out of nowhere had you thinking about plenty of possibilities but uprooting your entire life wasn’t one of them.

Born in Golden, a small suburb about twenty miles outside of Denver, you grew up living and breathing Colorado air. You’d always loved your home state and meeting Tyson his rookie year with the Avalanche was the cherry on top of what you thought was the start of your life taking shape.

“Baby? You still there?”

You were, but you didn’t respond so he kept talking about a future in Minnesota and how this would be good for him, good for the both of you. A fresh start.

That was the problem, though, because you didn’t want one. Naively, you always thought Tyson would stay in Colorado playing for the Avalanche and the two of you would spend your lives together in Denver. Marriage, babies and everything in between would happen and it would be there in Colorado. It was home.

“Tyson,” you stopped him, “i’m sorry, I’ve got to hang up. I’ll call you soon, okay?”

A slightly bewildered acceptance came from his end and you ended the call while he was still speaking.

*

Pounding on the door of your childhood home at almost midnight was probably not a good look but you’d been pacing your apartment thinking about what to do and, while you think you had decided, you needed to hear your parents opinion to be sure.

“Honey, what the hell?”

Your mom, dressed in silky pajamas and looking sleepy as hell, opened the door and pulled you inside.

“What’s wrong?”

“Tyson got traded.”

“To Minnesota, I know. Your father saw it on TV.”

“He asked me to come with him.”

She pursed her lips before opening her mouth, like she was about to say something, before shutting it again.

“Should I go with him?”

“Put on some water for tea. I’m going to wake your dad.”

*

Puffy eyes and red skin and chapped lips weren’t cute. Tyson’s mom was going to see the state of you and probably wonder why her son was with someone so unhinged. You spent the remainder of the night talking (and crying, mostly crying) to your parents while you weighed your decision and what it would mean if you left home to live with Tyson.

He sent you a text early letting you know that his mom was flying in to pack some of his stuff up so he had something to wear while he lived in a hotel close to his new home arena.

You hadn’t seen her in almost a year and this meeting was the opposite of ideal but when she opened the door, you launched yourself into her arms and the waterworks started again.

“This isn’t how I wanted us to see each other again.”

No response from you, because you were too choked up to say anything. It took a few minutes for you to let her go and a few more minutes of talking to accept that she was taking some of Tyson’s things out of the apartment forever.

He’d be back there less than five times and they’d be slowly lurking toward to the end. The end of his time in that building. The end of his time with the Avalanche. The end of his time in Colorado and the end of his time with you.

“I’ll see you soon?”

It wasn’t a question you could answer, because you hadn’t decided what you were going to do yet, but you nodded fiercely and hugged her goodbye. The door closed behind Tyson’s mother and you broke down again.

Was it possible to have no tears left to cry? You were probably dangerously close to finding out.

Over the next few days, Tyson called when he could and sent as many messages and possible to reassure you that he loved you and that he wanted you with him. It felt good to know that even though he was with a new team, he was still with you.

*

It wasn’t until the first game that the Avalanche played against the Wild, in Minnesota no less, and you couldn’t get out of work to fly out, that you realized you couldn’t do it.

You watched the game in your apartment, because Tyson didn’t live there anymore, and cried as you realized what you were going to do. Based on their social media, Tyson was absolutely thriving in Minnesota and you would only be a dark cloud on his new green grass, not raining down and watering it, just sadly lingering and killing any new growth.

He picked up right away when you called him and the happiness in his voice sent your stomach into your throat.

“Baby! Oh my god! I don’t want to be happy about this but, fuck, I am so happy!”

The Wild won over the Avalanche, thanks to EJ’s penalty, and Tyson sounded like he was on cloud nine.

“I’m glad, Tys, you deserved the win.”

“Hey,” the sound of people in the background faded away, “you okay?”

This was it. As much as you didn’t want, because you loved Tyson Jost more than you could even say, you couldn’t go with him. Minnesota was his fresh start, not yours.

“Honestly, no. Tyson,” you paused but he was quick to interrupt what you were about to say.

“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this? Not tonight?”

His happy tone dropped into a wavering one and you were tearing up at the sound of it. How fucking heartless was it to do this the first night he played and won against his old team? You hadn’t even thought of it.

“I can’t come to Minnesota, Tyson.”

“Why?”

It was a great question, one you didn’t really have a real answer to. You knew in your gut that leaving home to live with Tyson wasn’t the right choice but you couldn’t actually pinpoint a reason why. Sure, your family and your friends and your job were in Denver, but FaceTime was a thing and you could always get new employment.

Tyson had been the love of your life since shortly after you met him but less time around him made things clearer for you personally. You loved him, absolutely, but it obviously wasn’t enough to move mountains, or your life, for the sake of the relationship. You loved him though, still, you always would, he needed to know that.

“Nevermind,” he didn’t let you speak, “Your silence is enough.”

The call went dead and you sucked in a deep breath. That was not the way you wanted to end your relationship with Tyson Jost.

-

what do you think so far?

[stardestroyer81]

The artstyle of the Classic Mega Man series, which only began to find its footing just after the third installment, is iconic. I have a major soft spot for Keiji Inafune's artwork for the NES-era Mega Man titles, as well as Ryuji Higurashi's illustrative work for Mega Man 9. I've even spent a good while trying my hand at the style, of which you can check out here!

Though, every artstyle has to start somewhere, and even though the later NES Mega Man titles had some excellent looking artwork, the illustrations for the first couple of games were... interesting. The characters of the original Mega Man and its sequel were drawn in a much more rounded artstyle, looking more chibi like than the anime-esque style it would evolve into, and after the first few Mega Man games, it was quickly improved upon.

When you really take some time to sample Mega Man 1 and 2's artwork, however, you'll find that it's not that bad of an artstyle. Sure, the infamous 'Capcom hand' looked odd from having the middle two fingers fused together, but outside of that, I find that it's an artstyle that doesn't get a lot of representation in Mega Man fanart and is one I've grown to appreciate in these past few weeks.

And from having drawn a near-identical Inafune-styled Mega Man a month ago, yet another challenge for my artstyle replicating smarts arose... could I do it again, but take more after the style of Mega Man 2's artwork?

See for yourself!

I've been playing a whole lot of the first Mega Man Legacy Collection for the past few weeks, and in that time I've beaten all six games (Some even twice or thrice like Mega Man 5), read all of the database entries, and have been sampling the game's enormous backlog of illustrations from Mega Man 1 through 6!

In doing so, I found myself developing a fondness for the artstyle of the first two titles in the series— while I do prefer the artstyle of the later NES games, the humble beginnings of Keiji Inafune's illustrations for Mega Man appealed to me, and it was a style that I definitely wanted to see if I could come close to replicating.

And so, it was shortly decided that I would be drawing Mega Man in the Mega Man 2 artstyle! ... but what pose would I draw him in? I thought it would be neat to have a MM2-styled version of Mega Man from his appearance on Mega Man 10's box art, and the instant I thought of that pose, I got straight to work!

Compared to its modern counterpart, the style of the earlier Mega Man games has some pretty key differences: most glaring are the pupils of the eyes, which are much more wide than the slimmer pupil shapes seen in later titles. The eye shape itself is also a lot more circular, too, and certain aspects of robot master facial features (Such as their mouth or chin) are much larger.

The hands and boots of both Mega Man and robot masters are also greatly simplified, too. The 'feet' section of the boot is much more round, and also lack the 'Z' crease shape you would normally see on non-segmented boots. Instead, the boots (And often other parts of the body, such as the legs or buster) have minor crosshatch shading, though nothing too major.

These were design elements I made sure to account for in my initial sketch, and much like when I last drew Mega Man, the most important part was getting his head to look as 1:1 to the original that I could. You might notice the 'Capcom hand' looks a bit wonky, and this is because I was using my Switch for references and it was tough to draw a good looking one pointed left instead of right— it wasn't a huge deal. I could always fix it when I digitalized it!

After I got the sketch fully lined to my liking, it was time to figure out another crucial aspect to staying true to the look of Mega Man 2's visual style: the colors. The colors I used here were directly picked from Mega Man himself on Mega Man 2's box art, but when I wasn't liking how dark the colors came out, I brightened and desaturated them a slight bit to give it that vintage feel.

The shading was particularly easy, as I referenced the shading from my main reference of Mega Man in 10's main artwork, though I intentionally left some areas unshaded (Such as the buster meter and inner earpiece) seeing as Inafune tended to do the same every now and then.

An extremely small detail that I'm glad I acknowledged was how you can only see Mega Man's right (Or his left) earpiece as opposed to both. In artwork from the first two games, whenever Mega Man is at a 3/4ths angle, only one earpiece is present, whereas both can be seen at the same angle in later games.

I'll be honest, it was actually a whole lot of fun drawing in 2's artstyle, since it's a lot more simplistic compared to the perfection 9 and 10's style demands when replicating it— I may even attempt modern robot masters in the same style to see what they may have looked like in earlier Mega Man titles... or perhaps even draw faux official artwork for the obscure Bond Man!

That said, I hope you've enjoyed my dive into analyzing the artstyle of the earlier Mega Man games, and what my research yielded in perhaps one of my favorite drawings I've done this year!

[spicysugar019]

Alrighty folks here's my pinned post.

About me:

He/him/male

Im 21 years old (born in 2000 baybeeee)

Not comfortable sharing my first name (even tho it's super common and you couldn't find me using it). So on here I'll go by Eugene (my middle name).

Im currently at the highest weight I've ever been at, litterally 100 lbs over my starting weight (when I was either 11 or 12 at 4 foot 2 I think?). So please be cautious when talking to me about numbers at the present moment (Feb 2022).

Gae 💅 though currently dating a nonbinary beast

List of disorders cause I find it funny:

EDNOS, PTSD, chronic MDD, Chronic Insomnia, SAD, Chronic Substance abuse, ADHD, Bipolar (aka manic depressive disorder), (fuck dude im making this at 4am so im forgetting so fucking many), GAD, Panic disorder, dysthymia (I group that in with MDD but it's still a separate diagnosis ig), Social Anxiety disorder, unspecified psychosis, codependency disorder, gender dysphoria, and lastly a thing im not diagnosed with cause I don't bring it up in therapy and I actually don't feel like disclosing because of stigma around it and I'm not in the place to be told I'm faking by random strangers who don't know me or being told I'm doing it on purpose for attention thanks very much assholes.

How am I not permanently in a mental facility? Negligence probably! Stick around to see if that fact changes I suppose.

God what else do I say?

Stats: (again I'm at my highest weight ever, please don't comment on this to me, I just found out about it yesterday legit).

Cw: 270

Hw: 270

Sw: 170 (I was 12 and 4"2)

Ugw: 98

Is it even possible???

Im 5"4 (short kingg)

Things I struggle with due to mental health:

Eating (ok duh?), weight, body image, flashbacks, sleeping too much or too little no in-between, depressive episodes that usually land me in the hospital, hospitalizations (high score: 6 times in one year between December and March), major mood and behavior swings, Panic attacks that can last up to like a full fucking day rendering me completely useless, sometimes I see shit that isn't there, sometimes I hear shit that isn't there (they're thinking these are depression related psychosis mixed with not sleeping for like 4 days solid and not eating. Makes sense to me), I need people. No like I need them like I cannot be independent without trying to k!ll myself every single day, suicidal ideation, self harm, I have to get biweekly IM injections of boy juice into my ass-- and not the fun kind-- so I don't try to die constantly, and then other things I will not disclose ♡ and im poor.

At the moment I see 3 therapists and I'm looking for a fourth. Just therapists, this dosent include physical doctors or psychiatrists or psychologists or anything. One does CBT, another does EMDR, another is a nutritionist, and the one im looking for will be a DBT therapist. Gotta fucking collect them all am I right? (I'm not treating it like a game: I have to make jokes about it).

I am currently restricting and exercising (doing a piss poor job at it if I do say so myself).

Trying to stay below 800 a day currently.

Want to exercise daily but I simply do not have the time to. Will do it on the weekend tho! But right now I wake up I work I come home and scroll through tiktok and tumblr and then I "wake back up" again. I "sleep" when the gym is closed.

Wanna get to know me more? Please send an ask or message me im lonely and very open and honest about what I go through (except the disorder I will not disclose to anyone, thank you in advance for respecting that boundary!).

I love music and deeply enjoy connecting through music with people. I listen to anything I can understand the words to (this excludes country im sorry).

My favorite things to consume? Cigarette smoke and human hearts 💕

and taco bell 🥺

I like playing the cello, doing art (painting, sculpting, throwing, drawing, digital, animation, glass work, and a few lesser ones). I love and adore my partner they are the best thing that has happened to me. I like driving and singing.

I dislike showers (body dismorphia and gender dysphoria and ptsd, MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS), and yeah.

Im getting tired fucking finally after 2 days so I have to act now and sleep or else it'll be 2 more. Please message me if you have any question, need advice, want to talk and chat, ect. Disclaimer: if you are asking for advice I reserve the right to refuse and turn you down. This is not personal. You issues are real and they are valid you're on fucking eddie tumblr for God's sake.

DNI: Pedo/pedo sympathizers, under 18, fat phobic, homophobic, transphbic, or a generally shitty person.

Ok off to bed I go. Thanks for reading even though I know no one did. Thanks for letting me pretend.

Goodnight friends! Good morning? Fuck off dude idk, it's 5am.