#I feel like I put way more thought into our relationship than she did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkshort · 2 months

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i know who you are | 4. the others

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Winter begins to wrap its arms around Jackson, filling the town with snow and a nasty flu. Joel takes you to meet Ben and Lisa, and you finally discover more about your past.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, amnesia, sad!joel, pining, sexual tension, slow burn, jealousy

WC: 9K

Series Masterlist

You looked happy.

Ever since you began working at the infirmary, you seemed happier. Like you were grateful to have a purpose. A way to contribute. To give back to the community that supported you.

You smiled more and you didn't shy away from him as much as you used to and it gave Joel hope. Every time you saw him and greeted him with a smile or said goodbye with a squeeze of his shoulder, it made his heart flutter. It's been weeks. Months, technically. But he was making some progress.

It was the first snowfall of the season and it put you in an even better mood than usual. Your face was pressed up against the window as he tended to the fire behind you, and you watched as the big, fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky, coating Jackson in a perfect blanket of pure white.

"I didn't get much snow where I'm from," you told him over your shoulder. He knew that already, but he humored you.

"That so?"

"Mhmm. When I was a kid, though, we got hit with this freak storm. No one knew what to do. No one owned shovels or snow blowers or any of that, so we were all stuck inside our houses until the storm ended and everything melted," you said, turning away from the window so you could curl up on the couch, then pausing for a moment before tilting your head to the side. "Did I tell you this already?"

Yes, he thought, but he shook his head, eager for you to continue. He just loved hearing you talk, no matter what you said. Besides, if you were expected to rebuild your relationship, sharing your past would naturally be part of that, so he encouraged you to tell stories, even if he's heard them before.

"So, what happened?" he asked, putting the poker back in the stand and getting up with a groan, his knees cracking a bit before he settled in on the other end of the couch.

"Well, the power went out," you said, and he could hear the excitement in your voice, delighted to be telling him something you thought he didn't already know, and it made his heart swell. "So we didn't have any heat or any way to cook our food. We set up camping tents in the middle of our living room and slept in there with, like, five blankets each. And we lived off pop-tarts and granola bars and peanut butter sandwiches for two days til the power came back on."

"Two days?" Joel repeated, and you nodded.

"Yeah, but it was fun. As a kid, you know? I'm sure my parents were freaking out but me and Matty were excited. We played board games and ate by candlelight and told ghost stories," you said wistfully, your eyes looking miles away. "We talked about that for years," you finished softly, and Joel smiled.

"I didn't get much snow where I'm from, either," he told you, and your eyes met his again.

"Texas, right?" and he nodded. "Did you live there your whole life?"

Something deep inside him sparked with a mix of nerves and excitement. It felt like you were meeting all over again, and while it was under less than ideal circumstances, he couldn't help but feel those butterflies you feel when you first meet someone new.

"Yep, my whole life. Tommy, too, except for when he was in the army."

"Were you in the army?" you asked, but he quickly shook his head.

"Nah. Wasn't my scene. Besides, I had Sarah."

"Oh, right," you said, feeling stupid for asking. You dropped your attention to your hands, which were twisted in your lap, as you thought about your next question.

"How old was she?" you asked quietly, still looking down and avoiding his gaze, but you heard him take a deep breath.

"She was twelve when she died," he told you, his words hanging heavy in the air and he could see the conflict in your face as you tried to figure out a way to learn more about him without reopening old wounds. "It's okay, I don't mind talkin' 'bout her."

"Did we used to talk about her?" you asked him curiously, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

He shrugged. "Sometimes. But not at first. Still hurt too much back then, y'know?"

"Yeah," you breathed, your mind now drifting to thoughts of your own family. Were you together when they died? Did you see it? If so, was it some sort of sick twist of luck that you now couldn't remember?

"What was your favorite thing to do together?" you asked, watching as his eyes found a fixed point on the wall while he considered your question.

"My favorite thing was hiking. Hers was goin' to the movies or the mall, most likely," he said with a soft chuckle. "I didn't mind, though. I was just happy she still wanted to be seen with her old man at that age. Makes me wonder if she felt bad for me or somethin'."

You furrowed your brow, confused. "Why would she feel bad for you?"

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I didn't date much. Had a few poker buddies but I mostly spent my time with Tommy. Just worked so hard back then that I was too tired to do much else."

"And you were a contractor?" you asked, trying to remember the small pieces of information you picked up over the last two months. He nodded.

"Yeah, me and Tommy had our own business. That was a lifetime ago. Can't imagine doin' that kind of work now, not with my back," he said with a smile.

Joel's eyes flicked to the window over your shoulder, watching as the snow continued to come down, the window panes growing foggy in the corners. "Looks like we ain't goin' anywhere for a while," he said, changing the subject. You followed his gaze and nodded.

"What about Ellie? Is she okay back there?"

"Yeah, she'll be alright. She could make it up to the house if she got too cold," he assured you.

So, you were essentially snowed in. All alone.

You could feel his eyes on you as you watched the fire and you wondered if he was thinking about an alternate reality. One where you didn't have an accident. Where you remembered everything. One where you loved him the way he so obviously loved you, and what you might be doing differently in that very moment. You had a feeling your hunch was correct because he stretched his arm across the back of the couch and subtly inched a little closer towards you, the worn cushions dipping from his weight and causing your leg to bob.

Your body stiffened and your heart suddenly felt like it was being crushed in your throat. He was so patient, you had to give him credit. It couldn't be easy for him, and although you could finally admit to yourself that you found him attractive, you still didn't think you trusted him enough to take things any further. Not yet. Not when you still had so many questions. Your eyes drifted up to meet his and as you expected, he was watching you closely. Carefully. Trying to read you the same way you were trying to read him. The problem was, every time he looked at you that way, with his eyes all soft and filled with adoration, you could only think about what he was hiding. What did he lie about? And why was he so hesitant for you to meet Ben and Lisa?

Joel leaned in a fraction and his fingers tightened their hold on the back of the couch. He wanted to kiss you. He's wanted to kiss you ever since that day in the field right before that clicker ruined the moment. And with the soft glow from the fire and the snow falling silently outside, it felt like the perfect moment. He was terrified of making things worse after he finally felt like he made some progress, but it was killing him. He missed having you so fucking much, sometimes it felt like it actually caused him physical pain. Like his chest would explode one day.

He swallowed nervously and inched a little closer and you panicked. Just as he was about to say something, you cut him off.

"Do you wanna play a board game?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and you gave him a nervous smile.

"Sure," he replied, watching as you jumped off the couch to look through the games stacked on the bookcase. He groaned inwardly and rubbed his chin when you bent over and he had to force himself to look away before his body reacted, praying you didn't pick Twister.

It took two days but the snow finally stopped. Ellie did eventually make her way to the house by the second day, simply because she was bored, so you helped Joel make a vegetable soup while Ellie set up the Monopoly board in the living room. You didn't have all the pieces, but you had enough, and what you didn't have you supplemented with buttons.

You didn't realize it; too caught up in cooking and the joy it used to bring you, but you and Joel worked together seamlessly in the kitchen. He chopped up zucchini while you diced onion and watched the pot on the stove that was cooking up noodles, slipping past each other to get to the sink and the cupboards and it all just felt so fucking normal that it made his chest ache. He wanted to draw your attention to it. He wanted to take you by the shoulders and say See? See how good we are together? But he didn't. He bit his tongue and bided his time until you came to that conclusion on your own, just like the first time.

But the first time was different. At least back then, you showed him affection. You kissed him and held him and shared your body with him and although you didn't want much more, not at first, eventually you did. And those moments in his bed were enough to hold him over until you opened your eyes and saw what was right in front of you.

He was selfish. He knew it was wrong to want you like that right now, but he wanted all of you, not just physically. He yearned to know what was going on behind your eyes, what you were thinking and feeling. What you thought of him. But if you would maybe just let yourself fall asleep in his arms on the couch while you read in front of the fire, or let him kiss you, just once, then maybe you would see it again. Feel it again.

"What the hell does a purple button mean?" you asked with a giggle, holding up the smooth, round plastic between your fingers.

"It's a hotel, duh!" Ellie said, grinning and rolling her eyes.

"Wait, why am I goin' to jail?"

"You rolled doubles three times in a row!" you told him, and you and Ellie bent over laughing at the confused expression on his face.

He made a disgruntled noise and moved his token to the corner of the board as he watched you and Ellie giggling and wiping tears from your eyes and fuck, it was nice. In another world, he would have made some joke about you being the one in handcuffs and maybe later he would have followed through with it and tied your wrists to the headboard, burying his face between your thighs until you couldn't take it anymore.

But instead, he just watched two of the people he loved most in the world have fun, the orange glow from the fire flickering over your smiling faces while the snow finally came to a stop outside.

Ellie had trekked back to the garage once the game was over. It was late, you looked tired, but he still suggested putting a movie on. He wasn't ready to let you go. He hated going to bed all alone. You seemed to consider his offer for a moment before you shook your head and yawned, and although he knew that would likely be your answer, he still felt his heart sink.

He walked you to your bedroom and as he was about to say goodnight, hoping to minimize the hurt by making it quick, you did something that surprised him. You pulled him into a hug, standing on your tiptoes, your chin resting on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his neck, body pressed firmly against his and just as quickly as it happened, you pulled away. Joel was so stunned he wasn't sure he hugged you back, even though he stood cemented to the floor well after you went to bed, replaying the hug over and over, all he could remember was how he felt. And he went to bed that night with renewed hope blooming in his chest. Maybe you were finally coming around.

So the next morning when you asked him out of the blue if you could visit Ben and Lisa once the streets cleared of snow, he had a hard time finding a reason to say no. He should have known you wouldn't let it go, but he did hold out hope that maybe you moved on from the idea since it had been a few weeks when you last mentioned them.

He agreed, of course, not wanting to ruin the delicate foundation of your relationship. Besides, he already decided he would go with you and make sure they didn't tell you anything you weren't ready to hear.

The snow had melted enough where the road was visible again, but the snowbanks still piled high around the buildings and houses and you felt strangely nervous as you followed Joel down the street. He had finally agreed to take you to meet Ben and Lisa, and while you were grateful he didn't have the reaction he had the first time you mentioned them, you still wondered what caused that outburst.

You tried to convince yourself that maybe he was just tired and cranky that day, having just gotten back from patrol for the fourth day in a row. But something still felt... off.

"Wow, when Ellie said they lived on the outskirts, she wasn't kidding," you said, realizing you were reaching an edge of Jackson you had yet to explore.

"Yeah, they tend to keep to themselves," he replied without further explanation. He didn't seem agitated, but he definitely wasn't happy about going to see them. He seemed more quiet and subdued than usual.

Finally, you arrived at a quaint looking cottage tucked back from the road a ways. Like Ellie had said, it was small, but it looked cozy. You could see the smoke pluming from the chimney and you couldn't wait to warm up again.

There was no porch. Just a small roof over the front door and a folding chair that looked like it had seen better days. He knocked firmly on the door and after a moment, you heard light shuffling on the other side.

The door cracked open and you were greeted by a short woman around your age with dull, brown hair and bright green eyes. She saw Joel first and, like most people in town, she hesitated. But then she noticed you next to him and her expression changed. A wide smile stretched across her face and she said your name softly, then held her arms out for a hug.

"It's so good to see you," she said in your ear, giving you a tight squeeze before turning around and ushering you both inside. "Come in, come in, it's freezing out there. Ben! You'll never guess who's here!"

You both stepped inside and as you were slipping off your outerwear, you glanced around the small space. It was tight, but it was filled with warmth. The living room had two small, mismatched loveseats on either side of the stone fireplace. Two large bookshelves that were filled with so many books that the shelves were sagging stood on either side of the fire, and curiously you didn't notice a television anywhere in the room.

You heard a man's deep voice behind you say your name and you jumped in surprise. Turning around, you were pulled into another hug by who you could only assume was Ben. He was tall - taller than Joel - and you wondered how on earth such a small house could fit such a large man. He stepped away, his dark eyes glittering with his hands still on your shoulders, taking in your appearance as if you haven't seen them in years.

Maybe you haven't.

You were so focused on absorbing every little detail about the house and its residents that you didn't notice Joel's body stiffen next to you, his eyes glued to Ben's hands. And while Lisa seemed to have the same reaction to Joel that everyone else in town did, Ben, on the other hand, did not seem phased by his presence. In fact, he appeared pleased to see him. Once he dropped his hands from your shoulders, he stretched out a lanky arm and shook Joel's hand, giving him a kind smile which Joel had a hard time returning.

"What a wonderful surprise. Come, let's sit. Do you want coffee or tea?" Ben asked, his eyes drifting between you and Joel. You both shook your heads and Ben smiled warmly at you once again. Even though the living room was just a few feet away from the front door, Ben still rested his hand on your shoulder and guided you to one of the loveseats as if you might lose your way, only dropping his hold on you when he sat down across from you on the other one.

Joel eased himself down on the couch beside you, the space so small that he had no choice but to rest his leg against yours, and Lisa went to join Ben, the crackling fire between both loveseats warming you up right away.

"We heard you had an accident. How are you feeling?" Lisa asked, her voice so small and gentle compared to Ben's booming baritone.

"Better, thanks. But it's kind of why I'm here," you said, glancing over at Joel nervously, but he was staring silently at Ben, who still seemed unaffected.

Lisa tilted her head to the side and wrapped a hand around Ben's forearm, leaning into him a bit as she got more comfortable on the couch. You noticed for the first time a basket on the floor next to her feet filled with different colored yarn and half knitted projects tucked inside. "Oh?" she asked, then it seemed to dawn on her. "Oh! Is it... is it true? Do you really have memory loss?"

When you nodded, you noticed the flicker of pity across both their faces as they exchanged a somber look.

"I can only remember my life before the outbreak. My mom, dad and brother. I don't even remember what happened or how they died or how I managed to survive," you began, feeling yourself growing a little emotional. Joel must have sensed it in your tone because he squeezed your knee reassuringly, and when you glanced over at him, he had finally torn his eyes away from Ben to look at you with concern.

"It's been hard," Joel said, finally speaking up, addressing Ben and Lisa. "Lots of confusion, lots of missin' pieces. But she kept a journal. Turns out, she wrote 'bout you two, so that's why we're here," he finished, narrowing his eyes a bit at them.

"You wrote about us? How sweet," Ben said cheerily, running a hand through his dark blonde curls.

"Yes, but-"

"It wasn't anythin' that detailed," Joel said quickly, and you frowned at him. He sat back into the sofa and glanced over at you. "Right?"

"Yeah," you said slowly, dragging your eyes away from Joel and back to your hosts. "Just that we went fishing and it felt like old times," you continued, and they both smiled at the memory. The only sound in the room was the fire next to you, the wood popping loudly under the flames as you weighed your next question. "So I was hoping you might help tell me about myself before we arrived in Jackson. Is that... okay?"

Lisa shifted in her seat, a small smile still twitching at her lips as she gazed up at Ben, waiting for him to reply. He hesitated a moment and you thought you saw his eyes flicker to Joel before responding.

"Of course," Ben said, slapping the tops of his thighs, jostling loose Lisa's grip on his arm. He quickly picked her hand back up and brought her knuckles to his lips for a quick kiss, but your eyes were drawn to the unfamiliar symbol tattooed on the inside of her wrist, only made visible when Ben picked up her arm and her sleeve hung down.

"Can you tell me about when we first met?" you asked, figuring you should start at the beginning.

"Oh, what was it? Six or eight months after the outbreak, yeah?" Ben wondered aloud, looking to Lisa to confirm. She nodded and scratched her neck.

"Sounds about right."

You allowed yourself to feel a glimmer of excitement. There were two people right in front of you that could help fill in the blanks for the first five years after the outbreak, and you couldn't wait to hear more.

"We met in the Atlanta QZ," he began, but you quickly stopped him.

"QZ?"

"Quarantine Zone. All the major cities had 'em. Was meant to keep people safe from infected but the military ran most of 'em into the ground," Joel explained. "Treated people like cattle. Strict curfews. Barely enough rations to survive."

"It was awful," Lisa added solemnly.

"Was I alone?" you asked them, and Ben nodded. "Did I tell you anything about my family? How they died?"

Their eyes shifted to Joel for a moment before looking at one another.

"I thought you had said the infected got your mom on the first day. But your dad and brother..." Ben trailed off, looking down at his hands sadly. "They got caught out after curfew. It happened before we got there. They... were punished."

You frowned a little, looking to Joel to help shed some light on what Ben meant, but he was staring down at his feet.

"Punished?" you squeaked as your heart began to pound faster in your chest.

"Punishment for bein' out after curfew was death," Joel spoke up softly next to you.

You looked at all three of them, your eyes wide in disbelief. "Death? The military were killing people?"

"It was horrible. It's why we escaped," Lisa replied with tears in her eyes.

"Okay, then what?" you pressed, trying not to dwell too long on the thought of your father and brother being murdered by the very people who were supposed to protect them.

"After we escaped?" Ben clarified, and you nodded. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze. "We survived. Did what we had to do."

There it was again. Did what we had to do. The same thing Joel said when you brought up Lisa and Ben the first time.

You waited for him to elaborate but when it became apparent Ben had finished talking, you pushed him further. "Like what? What does that mean?"

"We laid low. Found some secluded spots in the wilderness and stuck it out for as long as we could," Lisa said, her eyes casually drifting between the two men. You looked at Joel, who was holding a steady glare at Ben and Lisa, but otherwise he was perfectly silent.

"For five years we just laid low? In the woods? The three of us?" you asked, and they could tell you knew they weren't telling you the whole truth. "What aren't you telling me? Did we do something bad? Did something happen?"

Joel shifted in his seat next to you but you kept your eyes pinned on Lisa and Ben, trying to read the expressions on their faces.

Ben was the first to fold. He dragged his eyes up to meet yours and gave you a half smile and shrug. "Yeah. I mean, everyone did bad things one time or another. It's impossible not to-"

"Like what?" you demanded. You could feel your anger building up now. "I'm not a child. Just tell me."

Ben sighed and looked at Joel once again, and this time you had enough.

"Why do you keep looking at him?"

Ben's eyes snapped back to you and he forced out a small chuckle, trying in vain to diffuse the tension in the room.

"You're our guests, so I'm looking at you both."

You weren't going to argue with him when it was clear he was looking at Joel for direction on what to say. It all made sense now. No wonder Joel didn't fight you on coming to visit them. He had planned all along to control the conversation and keep you in the dark and something inside you snapped.

Standing up from the couch suddenly, you looked down at Ben and Lisa, anger brimming in your eyes.

"Thanks," you spat, heading towards the front door. "Sorry to bother you both."

"It's no bother," Lisa said, her voice wavering as she followed you to the door. "Really. Stop by any time, it was nice to see you."

You scoffed and resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you shoved your boots and coat back on, doing your best to finish before Joel so you could get a head start back home.

Flinging open the door without another word, you took a deep breath and stormed down the street, the chilly winter air filling your lungs, trying to cool your anger from the inside out. But then you heard Joel's heavy footsteps crunching in the snow, hurrying to catch up to you, and your rage peaked again.

"You alright?" he asked when he found his place back by your side.

"No, I'm not alright," you seethed, staring straight ahead with your arms wrapped around your middle. "What was that back there?"

"What'dya mean?"

You skidded to a stop and glared at him, his cheeks pink from the cold and his chest rising and falling a little quicker than usual.

"You know what I mean. I'm not stupid, Joel. What don't you want me to know?"

He stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out how to respond.

"I'm not-"

"Don't bullshit me!" you yelled, and when you remembered you were in the middle of the street, you lowered your voice. "They were clearly scared of you. You didn't want them to tell me something. It was so obvious, Joel! I hit my head but I'm not fucking blind."

"I didn't ask them to say or not say anythin'," he said truthfully.

You stared at one another, both watching as your exhale mixed together, little clouds swirling in between you before rising above your heads and disappearing, each waiting for the other to break first.

"Maybe I should move out," you finally said, voice filled with sadness. His face fell instantly.

"Why?"

"You know why. I don't think I can trust you. How can I, when I can't even get a simple answer out of you?" What did he lie about?

If you had stabbed him in the chest, it would have hurt less. His gaze fell to the ground and he felt his throat begin to constrict. He had to do something. He couldn't lose you. So he told you a half truth.

"You and Ben used to be a thing," he said, and your jaw dropped in surprise.

"What?"

He clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes. "Before you came to Jackson. You and him were a couple."

You looked away from him, taking a minute to wrap your mind around what he just told you. You supposed it would make sense. It would explain why Joel was so weird about bringing you to see them. Maybe you misread the tension in the room. Maybe the tension was about something else entirely.

"That's why you were acting so strange? That's why you were staring him down?" you asked. His answer was still difficult to believe. It explained Joel's behavior, but it didn't explain what bad things you had done and why nobody seemed willing to tell you what they were.

He shrugged and rubbed his hands together. "Can we talk about this at home? I'm freezin'," he said.

The walk afforded you more time to think now that you had this new piece of the puzzle. Ben did seem like your type: he was handsome and kind, but if you and Ben were together in the past, where did that leave Lisa? They were clearly an item now. Wouldn't that have made for a strange relationship between the three of you? Perhaps that's why you didn't see them often.

Joel let you stew in silence for the walk home, fucking praying what he told you would be enough to keep you from following through with your threat. Why did it feel like every time he made some progress with you, something happened that fucked everything up?

Maybe he should have just let them tell you the whole truth.

No, that would have been bad. You didn't trust him enough yet. You said it yourself. And if you were willing to move out over something like this, you certainly would never speak to him again if you knew the whole story.

He needed to earn your trust first but it was so fucking hard when you wouldn't let him in. When you found out the truth the first time, you were already months into a relationship with him. You were already sleeping together, and while it didn't evolve into anything more until later, it still helped build your trust in him when he finally told you the truth.

He didn't have that with you now, and for the first time he began to doubt his ability to make you fall in love with him again.

You huddled in front of the fire after the long walk home, the two of you remaining silent the entire way. Joel was in the kitchen, most likely avoiding you and your questions while you warmed up. You weren't even going to bother bringing up the topic again, but Joel surprised you by doing it himself.

"I'm sorry. 'Bout earlier," he said from the entryway. You turned from the fire to look at him. He looked worried. His eyes were wide and his brow was knit while his hands fidgeted at his sides.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" you asked, and he sighed.

"Dunno. Guess I was hopin' you'd let it go or change your mind," he said, ticking his jaw to the side.

"What would it have even mattered? I don't remember him, I don't remember what we had together. I certainly don't have feelings for him," you told him, sitting down on the couch and tucking your legs underneath you.

He looked around the room nervously as you waited for an answer that wasn't coming.

You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "If this is going to work, you need to be honest with me-"

"I was scared, alright?" he said abruptly. You watched him hang his head between his shoulders and take a deep breath before collapsing into the arm chair next to the couch. "I was scared you'd maybe remember him or..." he trailed off, finding it difficult to put into words what he was thinking. And although it wasn't the whole truth, it still was the truth. He was afraid this version of you would want someone like Ben and not like him.

He was afraid of losing you.

You seemed to understand because you didn't ask him to finish his thought. Instead, since he was opening up, you asked him something else that was bothering you.

"What did I do?"

He looked at you curiously, not following at first until you continued.

"Ben said I did bad things. We all did bad things to survive. What did he mean?"

Joel swallowed and thought about his answer for a moment. You sighed, growing impatient.

"You can't keep the truth from me forever. I'll find out one day, just tell -"

"You killed people," he told you, and you completely lost your train of thought. You searched his face as all of the air rushed out of your lungs, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air.

"I killed people?" you repeated, your voice barely a whisper, and he nodded slowly. You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes but you blinked them away. What kind of monster did you become?

"Innocent people?"

"Depends on who you ask," he said right away, almost as if he expected that question.

"What does that mean?"

He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully as he stared into the fire. "I told you. Everyone did what they had to do in order to survive. I know it's hard for you to understand what it was like, but there were a lot of bad people out there. A lot of bad fuckin' people. The military was outta control. There were revolutions and raiders and slavers." He paused and sniffed a bit, continuing to stare into the flames while you hung on his every word. "When I say you killed people... it ain't black and white. I killed people, too. Alotta people. When the whole goddamn world ends and all you got left is one or two people you care 'bout, you'll do whatever you gotta do to protect 'em. D'you understand?" he asked, finally dragging his eyes up to look at you.

You blinked, thinking about what he said, his words rolling around your head like pinballs.

"I think so," you said quietly.

He nodded, still pinning you with his stare. "We all made decisions. We made choices based on what we knew at the time and we did our best."

You nodded, your voice wavering a bit when you asked "Am I a bad person, Joel?"

His eyebrows pinched together and he leaned forward in his chair, wanting to reach out to you, comfort you and pull you into his arms, but he refrained. "No, baby. You ain't a bad person," he told you softly.

And you weren't sure why, but you believed him.

The streets were quiet as you slowly made your way to the infirmary. You didn't start your shift until late in the morning and you didn't feel like joining Ellie at the dining hall for breakfast, so you stayed home, only getting out of bed when you heard Joel leave for patrol. He had already warned you the night before that he would be back later than usual due to the storm. Trails would likely be difficult to pass and nobody could predict if there would be damage at any of the outposts, but it was highly likely.

You didn't move out like you had threatened to. You didn't even know what you were thinking when you said that. Where would you have gone? The garage with Ellie? You didn't know anybody else. Not really. But even if you had, you saw the look in Joel's face when you said those words and even though you were so fucking angry with him, you still felt terrible for causing him pain.

On one hand, it seemed like he was just looking out for you, but on the other, his actions often came off as selfish. You had every right to know your past and what you did, and you were growing sick of Joel treating you like a child. Like you were too fragile to understand.

But at least you got it out of him. Even though you had to take extreme measures, you finally got him to tell you something truthful, and that was a positive step forward.

Lost in your thoughts, you weren't even paying attention when a man's voice called your name from across the street. You looked up after the third try and were surprised to find Ben waving to you from the tailor. You raised your hand in greeting and made your way over to the building.

"Hey," you said a little sheepishly, "about the other day, I'm sorry for how I acted-"

He shook his head and gave you a reassuring smile. "No need to apologize. All of this has to be so confusing for you. We understand."

You dropped your gaze to the frozen ground and dug your boot into the snow. "Thank you, I appreciate that. It's very frustrating, actually. I'm just trying to learn about myself and what's happened in the past ten years and I guess I took out my anger on you guys."

He waved you off and leaned against the doorframe of the tailor. "Don't worry about it. We were just happy to see you again."

And even though Ben was absolving you of your guilt, you somehow felt even worse. He was being so nice and you hardly felt like you deserved it. "Joel explained it to me, by the way. After we left your house he told me about us," you said, waving your finger back and forth between you.

"Ah," Ben said with a knowing smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I wondered as much. It was a very long time ago but Joel can be..." Ben trailed off and scratched his chin, "he can be a little protective, I suppose. He never really understood the nature our relationship."

You tilted your head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"It was just casual. He always thought there was something more," Ben said, meeting your eye. "But I promise you, there wasn't. At the time, we were just lonely and scared and looking for comfort. Neither of us was looking for anything more than that."

You nodded thoughtfully. "He did say we were a couple," you said, and Ben chuckled softly.

"I wouldn't even call it that. Truly. There were no hurt feelings. We just never had a connection past... y'know," he said with a shrug. You felt yourself flush a bit at the words he left unspoken and looked away. "But I'm glad he told you."

"Yeah, me too. I know his heart is in the right place, I just wish he would have told me about us and all the shit we did before I came to see you. Probably would have made the visit a little more pleasant," you said with a laugh, but Ben's face fell.

"He told you about what we did?" he asked, his tone suddenly serious. You sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, he told me I've killed people. It's been really hard to wrap my head around, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. He explained the world we live in now is not like the one I remember."

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise and unfolded his arms. "Wow. I'm kind of shocked he told you about us and the Fireflies. That must have been really hard for you both."

You frowned and searched his face. "Fireflies?"

His body stiffened and his face paled when he realized his mistake. "Yeah. He told you about the Fireflies, right?"

You shook your head. "What are the Fireflies?"

"Shit," he muttered, pushing himself off the wall abruptly and clearing his throat. "I should get back to work. Just please forget I said anything, okay?"

"Ben, wait," you tried, but he disappeared back inside the tailor, leaving you standing in front of the door while more questions piled up.

There seemed to be a bad flu being spread around town because the infirmary was busier than usual. You were grateful for the distraction, especially after your conversation with Ben. You had spent the better part of the afternoon rushing from exam room to exam room, cleaning up after each patient as quickly as you could so Nick could continue treating the revolving door of people coughing and sneezing in the waiting room. Nick had recommended you wear a bandana around your mouth and nose to hopefully keep you healthy, but you had a feeling it would just be a matter of time before you caught the same bug as everyone else. Still, you kept the bandana tied around your neck as you worked diligently. What you didn't expect, however, was the bit of anonymity the mask afforded you.

You were cleaning up exam room six when you heard a woman's familiar voice in the room across the hall. Nick had left the door cracked open after he ushered her inside, and she apparently had another woman in there waiting with her as you started to pick up on hushed pieces of their conversation.

You didn't intend to eavesdrop, but curiosity got the best of you when you tried to place her voice, and when you realized it was Angie, your hands froze and your body stilled, doing your best to not make any noise so you could listen.

"... going down there almost every night... matter of time... him."

"But what about... freak out."

You frowned, inching closer to the door as you tried to fill in the gaps in their conversation.

Then you heard Angie say your name clear as day and your eyebrows shot up. You pressed your back against the wall and held your breath.

"She doesn't even like him. That relationship is a ticking time bomb."

You silently gasped when you realized they were most certainly talking about you and Joel.

It wasn't even true. You liked Joel. You were attracted to Joel. You were even starting to trust Joel a little more, although you definitely had plans to ask him about the Fireflies. But you were still getting to know him and it was taking time. Was this girl talking about trying to steal Joel away from you? The idea made your stomach turn and anger flare deep in your chest.

You shocked yourself with your reaction. Steal Joel away? Since when did you begin to feel some sense of ownership over him? Were you jealous?

You heard Nick's voice leaving an exam room a few doors down and you quickly made yourself look busy. He sighed tiredly in the hallway as he flipped through some papers before pushing open the door to Angie's room. You were changing the bedding on the mattress when you heard Nick call your name and you quickly dropped the sheets to cross the hall.

When your eyes locked with Angie's, giving her a hardened stare, you swore you saw a flicker of fear before she forced a fake smile and coughed into her fist while her friend, one you recognized from the bathroom at the Tipsy Bison, nervously shifted her weight and looked away. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction when it became clear to the two girls that you had heard everything they said, and you were grateful you had your mask on so they couldn't see the corners of your mouth twitch.

"Would you mind grabbing a bag of cough drops and a jar of menthol from the supply cabinet?" Nick asked, completely oblivious to the shift in the air.

"Sure thing," you told him, turning on your heel to leave and allowing yourself to finally smile.

Joel might scare the rest of the town, but you sure as hell scared the shit out of Angie.

Your shift at the infirmary went longer than expected. By the time you arrived home, you were exhausted and the sun was almost setting. So far you weren't feeling sick, but from what you had overheard all day, the symptoms came on quick, so you had already decided to call it an early night and get some rest. When you swung open the front door and found Joel hunched over the kitchen table, your plans went flying out the window.

He looked like he was on death's door. You had never seen him look so run down and pale. He didn't even open his eyes to look at you, he just kept them shut while he rubbed his temples and tried to stifle a cough, his backpack abandoned at his feet.

"Joel?" you called, toeing off your boots and hurrying over to him. You crouched down on the floor and pressed the back of your hand against his forehead. "You're burning up."

He groaned and cracked open one eye. "Feel like shit. Dunno what happened."

"There's a bad virus spreading around, the infirmary was slammed today," you said, pushing yourself up onto your aching feet to get him a glass of water. "Drink this and I'll heat you up some soup," you told him before heading towards the stove.

"You don't gotta-"

"Drink," you said firmly, cutting him off. He winced before picking up the glass and forcing down the cool liquid. Once you got the gas going on the stove, you grabbed an empty bowl and shoved your boots back on. "I'll be right back," you told him. He sat up a little straighter in his chair, about to ask where you were going but you already disappeared through the front door, returning seconds later with the bowl filled with snow.

"Lean back," you instructed, placing the bowl on the table. He did as he was told and closed his eyes, the lights from the kitchen ceiling making his head ache but when you pressed a handful of packed snow against his forehead, he groaned with relief.

"Oh shit, that feels good," he whispered as you tried to ignore the twinge between your legs at his low tone. He released a shaky breath and you watched as the snow began to melt, little trails of water dripping from his hair and down his scruffy cheeks. When it was nearly melted, you took your hand away and dumped the remnants in the sink, grabbing a towel and drying your hands on the way back. You pinched his stubbly chin delicately in your fingers and tipped his head towards you while slowly and gently wiping away the water from his face. When you finished, your eyes found his already boring into you and you felt a tingle shoot down your spine.

"Better?"

His gaze softened as he continued to stare up at you, searching your face quietly, making your heart begin to beat faster in your chest. You swallowed nervously and forced yourself to look away, and it was then he finally realized you had asked him a question.

"Yes," he murmured, "thank you."

You dragged your eyes back to his and gave him a small smile. "More?"

He didn't trust himself to speak. He just slowly nodded and watched with heavy lidded eyes as you scooped up another handful of snow. With your free hand, you slid your fingers behind his neck and through his hair, cupping the back of his head in your small hand before pressing the snow gently against his forehead once again. And even though he wanted to keep looking at you, he couldn't stop his eyes from fluttering shut at the cooling sensation, earning you another deep groan from his throat and causing your breath to stutter.

He heard it and opened his eyes.

You stared at each other, lips parted as the air began to thicken with tension. His eyes flickered over your face, noticing the way your pupils appeared bigger as you gazed down at him. He took a risk and slowly brought his hand up to rest on your side, watching you carefully for any sign that he should stop. He pressed his fingertips lightly into your hip, the fabric of your shirt bunching up slightly from the pressure.

You dropped your eyes to his hand and blinked rapidly, then opened your mouth to speak when you heard sizzling at the stove. You whipped your head around just as his soup began to boil over the pot.

"Shit!" you yelped, dropping the half melted snow onto the towel and racing over to the range. You twisted the knob off and put the pot on one of the unused burners and the liquid immediately simmered back down. "Sorry," you said, refusing to look at him as you started to gather a bowl and spoon, embarrassment burning your cheeks.

"Don't be," he replied, still leaning back in his chair in the same position you left him. He watched you fumble nervously in the kitchen and he had to suppress a smile.

Maybe he still had a chance, after all.

Joel's temperature was a little high but nothing too concerning, so you pushed the fluids and he ate all of his soup and it helped put your mind at ease. You really didn't want to have to ask for ibuprofen unless it was absolutely necessary, especially considering how the same virus was hitting almost every house at the same time. You made sure to check on Ellie from her doorway, not wanting to risk her catching anything since she appeared to be fine, before helping Joel up to bed.

Once you followed him into the room and he turned on the light next to his bed, you realized you hadn't actually ever entered his bedroom before. Sure, you've walked past it when the door was open and glanced inside, but you never really looked. As he gathered some fresh pajamas and began to unbutton his flannel, you turned your back to him to give him some privacy and examined his bookshelf. Your eyes drifted over the titles on the spines of a handful of books, most of which you hadn't heard of before noticing a framed photograph sharing a shelf with his books. It was faded and a little torn, but you could still make out their faces. It was Joel - a far younger version of Joel - with his arm around a beautiful little girl with dark hair and eyes and a stunning smile. You felt your throat tighten when you realized who it was, and if you had any doubt, Joel's voice piped up behind you.

"That's Sarah."

You heard him shuffling his bedding around so you figured he was dressed.

"She's beautiful, Joel," you said, walking over to his side of the bed and popping the thermometer under his tongue one more time. "It's wonderful that you were able to find a picture of her. I wish I had some pictures of my family," you said sadly, watching the hands of the clock on top of his bookshelf tick, counting down the seconds until you could check the thermometer. "I would have loved for you to at least see them. I think you would have gotten along with my brother really well. Maybe too well," you added with a soft laugh, not realizing he was silently hanging on your every word as you continued to stare at the clock. "He was always looking out for me. Always protecting me, trying to shield me and it drove me nuts when I was younger, but as time went on, I understood it a bit more."

You pulled the thermometer out and checked the number. "Still the same," you told him, resting it on his nightstand.

"How much time?" he asked, and you gave him a confused look. "How much time did it take 'til you started to understand?" he clarified, and you realized what he was really asking.

"I don't know," you replied honestly, sitting on the edge of his bed with a sigh. "But I'm starting to... understand," you said, giving him a sideways glance. You really wanted to ask him about the Fireflies but seeing how sick he was, you decided to bring it up another time. His hand slipped out from underneath the covers and gently squeezed your knee.

"That's good," he said softly before furrowing his brow and turning his head to cough loudly into his pillow. You winced at how bad it sounded and rubbed his upper back. When the coughing fit passed, you handed him his water and he took a grateful sip.

"Do you need anything else before I go to bed?"

"Could you stay here?" he found himself asking before he could even think. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as you struggled to answer. "Just 'til I fall asleep?"

"Oh," you replied, looking awkwardly around his rather sparse room. "Sure, let me just go wash up," you said, standing up from his bed. You were dead on your feet from your shift at work and you knew the next day wouldn't be any better, but you felt bad saying no, so you changed your clothes and grabbed one of the books Joel had found for you before dragging the chair from the corner of his room to the side of his bed.

"You can stretch out over there," he told you, pointing weakly to the other side of the bed before coughing into his closed fist. "I won't bite."

You smiled as you settled into the chair. "I'm alright, thanks," you said, opening your book and leaning back, trying to get comfortable. After a few minutes of reading, you looked up just to find him still watching you. You laughed and said "you need to get some rest if you want to kick this thing," then he grinned and finally closed his eyes.

You may not have been in bed with him, but you were close enough to help him relax and for the first time in months, he fell fast asleep within minutes.

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #the last of us game #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #ikwya fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou

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wh1msic4alwasab1 · 22 days

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

synopsis: Tartaglia shares you with your mutual friend: Zhongli, and you practically get tossed around for a whole night

tags: 3some, no protection, double penetration, vulgar, explicit

wrd cnt: 1.6k

a/n: repost/rewrite from first acc!

Tartaglia and Zhongli have a very interesting... friendship? You've heard much about it and you've been in contact with Zhongli for some time as well, as mere acquaintances.

One night, you're on your phone and get a text message from your lover Childe. He was getting a few drinks with Zhongli at a bar in Liyue.

You practically freeze and don't know what to respond, as he asks if you'd be willing to have a three way with Zhongli??...how drunk is he? You and Childe have a very untraditional sexual relationship so this wasn't too much of a surprise to you, you trust eachother.

How did they even get to this point in a conversation, you wonder.

You change into more suitable garments under a robe, waiting for someone to come home. After not too long, you hear the keys jingle in the doorknob, suddenly you're even more nervous than before and you see the door open; Childe walking in with Zhongli behind him.

"There she is!" Childe says to Zhongli, enthusiastic as ever as he comes over to you on the couch, kissing you before sitting down.

Zhongli follows and sits next to you, legs crossed.

"Baby, guess what!". He asks.

"Hm?" You reply.

"Our friend Zhongli here, well...I feel bad for even saying it, he's a virgin." Childe says, laughing…giggling like a little school girl.

"Was that really necessary to inform?" Zhongli asks, his palm hitting his face.

You eyes widen, you almost think he's lying.

Zhongli would never strike you as such, sure he's a gentleman but he doesn't seem to strike as incredibly inexperienced.

"Since we're all on the same page, I thought you could show him what he's missing", Childe says, his hand rubbing your inner thigh, as it's draped above his leg.

You turn to Zhongli, putting a hand on his upper thigh,

"I'd love to". You reply.

As if on que, his face turns bright red.

"Stand up", Childe demands.

And you do so, knowing where this is going.

"Make our guest a little more comfortable." He says.

You kick Zhonglis foot to the side, uncrossing his legs; giving yourself a seat. His breathe is already heavy, as he feels you straddle him.

Childe moves closer to two of you, sitting right next to Zhongli and you on top of him.

"Show him your pretty figure, my love."

You pick up Zhonglis hands, making him pull the robe open and reveal yourself to him.

The knot is broken and shortly after your rob falls to the floor; showing your black lingerie.

The lace barely covering your nipples, and a small peice of silk attached to ribbon holding up a small barrier to your pussy, strapped to garters that ran up your thighs; Zhongli eyes on every inch of you now.

"What do you think Li? She's so pretty, isn't she?"

Before Zhongli has time to answer him; Childe grabs the man’s face, moving it towards his own. He brings Zhonglis lips towards his, slipping his tongue into his mouth and biting his lip. "You go both ways yeah? It's the most fun like that." Your lover says, as you watch them exchange spit.

Childe then gives you an even more passionate kiss, as your hand reaches to Zhonglis collar; pulling him into you and dancing with his tongue as you feel his hands running up and down your body.

You break your kiss, and Childe stands up. immediately lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to laugh.

Zhongli follows the two of you into your bedroom, disoriented and watching you get thrown onto the bed. You remove Zhongli's clothing while Childe has already ripped off his own. You sit on the bed, as the two men hover over you. You pull down Zhongli's pants, and watch his cock spring up.

You gawk at it a little, it was bigger than you thought.

"Go on Li, don't you wanna fuck that pretty mouth? She's practically drooling for you, aren't you, baby?"

You nod, and Zhongli holds the back of your head, gently pushing your face into him. You lick the entirety of his length, feeling the veins on your tongue.

Not wanting Childe to feel left out, your right hand finds his member, pumping it as you suck off Zhongli.

You look up at him, watching his head fall back as he moans for you.

The sounds of your wet mouth pleasing him almost mask the ones of Childe and Zhonglis lips against eachother. It didn't bother you, frankly it made you want both of them even more.

You feel Zhongli's massive cock twitch in your mouth, as his leg twitches and his grip on your hair tightens.

Suddenly, he pulls your mouth off him, spilling himself over your chest, some drops even hitting your face.

Childe laughs, "Already? You really are a virgin." He teases

Zhongli's eyebrows furrow as he gives Childe a look, before hearing you hold back a laugh.

"And what are you laughing about sweetheart?" You hear from Zhongli, a shift of tone in his voice.

You only laugh, looking at both of them while you lick the cum off your face with your fingers.

Childe lowers him self, picking you up and scooting you back on the bed. He gets on top of you, and licks Zhongli's cum off your chest, removing the top of your outfit and revealing your chest.

"Well don't just stand there." Childe mocks, pulling Zhongli by the neck and facing him to your cunt.

You can tell he's more comfortable now, boldly pushing your legs apart, and removing the cover on your lingerie.

Childe finished cleaning your tits, and guides Zhongli into licking your pussy.

"Make sure you suck right here Li, she fucking loves that." Child coos while rubbing your clit. You watch as Zhongli puts his fingers inside you, and his tongue finds your sensitive bud, sucking on it softly.

He's better than you thought, and his fingers feel so good inside you.

You can't help but wrap your hand in his long hair, pushing his face against you cunt, grinding on him while Childe puts his cock into your mouth, as he feels the vibrations of your muffled moans.

After some time, you can feel yourself coming so close, your hand grips the sheets while your grind yourself on Zhongli's face, tears forming in your eyes from your lovers throbbing dick fucking your mouth, slapping the tip of his length on your tongue.

Zhongli's face is buried inside your cunt, his hands holding your thighs as they squeeze the sides of his face. He devours you like he's starving, and Childe is already cumming inside your mouth. All the stimulation causes you to release all over Zhongli's mouth.

"So sweet y/n, give me more...", Zhongli whispers. To your surprise, he's lapping up all the cum spilling out of you.

Childe watches the both of you, his cock even harder now.

"You like this baby? We're nowhere to done yet." Childe urges Zhongli to pick you up, which he does with such ease.

You feel Childes chest on your back, his cock snug against your bare ass, as Zhongli holds you up by the waist. Your arms wrap around him and his cock is rubbing against your folds.

You feel Childe kiss down the back of your neck.

Your face is so close to Zhongli, you can feel his breath on you; you couldn't take it anymore. You put your lips on his and he's eager to wrap his tongue around yours. You trial your lips down his face, now on his neck. You hear his small groans, and your heat grows even more.

Suddenly, you feel the weight of Childes large palm smack your ass, you moan, right into Zhongli's ear.

Childe pulls you back by the neck, so he can whisper into your ear, "Don't forget who you belong to now, or you'll have to beg me to stop reminding you."

"Maybe you should remind me anyways." You reply, looking into Childes eyes.

He doesn't respond to you, but to Zhongli:

"Li, don't stop until I tell you to, yeah?" Zhongli nods softly, lowering you down on his cock. Sultry moans escape your mouth, he feels even bigger inside you than in your mouth.

You'd think you'd regret talking back to your love, but fuck does it feel good to have Zhongli pound you, his veiny cock feels so good inside inside.

That's until you feel Childe insert himself into your hole, at the same time. Both of their cocks stuff you so full, to the point your moans become breathless. They move at such different paces, Zhongli is rougher than expected, pounding his cock inside you and feeling your cunt tighten around him, while Childe slowly fucks you, but he stuffs you so deep it drives you insane.

You can't hold anything back anymore, you're screaming for both of them to stop, creating white rims around the base of their cocks.

"Mmm...fuck, Zhongli, please I can't cum anymore please.." He only speeds up, your pleads turning him on even more.

"I'm sorry dear...take it up with your lover."

Zhongli says.

"You've already cum so much, what a little slut...I warned you didn't I?"

"Childe-!... please", you beg, hoping for some mercy.

"You can take it baby, look how much fun he's having stuffing this little pussy." He says, spanking you again and watching you jump.

It feels like an eternity has passed by, and Zhongli and Childe are still rutting into your sore little cunt, grunting and moaning at how tight you wrap around their throbbing cocks. You feel them start to get sloppy, just rutting into you with no thought. Not long after, you feel Zhongli's hot liquid coating you, followed by Childe warm, thick ropes. Their cum getting mixed inside you and dripping down to coat you all.

Zhongli's head drops down to your shoulder, as his breath slowly stabilizes.

Childe begins to chuckle, and you hear a pop sound as both of them remove themselves from you, more and more cum spilling out onto the floor. “Well that was one hell of a first time huh?." He says to Zhongli, who’s utterly exhausted.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

#jo’s posts #genshin impact smut #tartaglia x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin smut #tartaglia smut #tartaglia #childe tartagalia #genshin tartagalia #tartagalia genshin impact #childe #childe smut #ajax #zhongli smut #zhongli #zhongchi

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promptfairy · 3 months

Text

❥ 𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐒 [ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 ] .

designed for ships, but can be used for a variety of relationship types. change gendered language/add context to your needs. happy roleplaying !! ♡

❛ it feels so good to be bad. ❜ ❛ it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you. ❜ ❛ give me something to believe in. ❜ ❛ i don’t believe in you anymore. ❜ ❛ i wonder if it even makes a difference to try. ❜ ❛ so, this is goodbye. ❜ ❛ one day i’ll wake up & it won’t hurt anymore. ❜ ❛ it’s like i can’t even feel after the way you touched me. ❜ ❛ you’re everything that i want, but you don’t want me. ❜ ❛ am i a regret, yet? ❜ ❛ was it worth what it costed? ❜ ❛ you make me nauseous. ❜ ❛ you’re overrated. ❜ ❛ when i think of you, i just want to throw up. ❜ ❛ all my friends say that you’re toxic. ❜ ❛ why does love suck? ❜ ❛ love hurts whether it’s right or wrong. ❜ ❛ i can’t stop, i’m having too much fun. ❜ ❛ you can’t save me, baby. ❜ ❛ you never call or listen to me anyway. ❜ ❛ where were you tuesday, october tenth? ❜ ❛ how is your jacket covered in blood? ❜ ❛ how was the party? did you have fun? ❜ ❛ i fell in love with the warning signs. ❜ ❛ the only time i feel alive is when i’m touching the warning signs. ❜ ❛ if you tell me to stay away, i’m gonna dive in again. ❜ ❛ my favorite color is red like the flags you fly overhead. ❜ ❛ well, i should have known. ❜ ❛ didn’t you see it coming? didn’t you see the signs? ❜ ❛ i’ll break your pretty face. ❜ ❛ bite your tongue & choke yourself to sleep. ❜ ❛ you can hold my hand if no one’s home. ❜ ❛ do you like it when i’m away? ❜ ❛ you’re a pond & i’m an ocean. ❜ ❛ all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around. ❜ ❛ i am a wreck when i’m without you. ❜ ❛ was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden? ❜ ❛ tell me, is it worth it? ❜ ❛ she’s a lady & i am just a line without a hook. ❜ ❛ do what you want as long as you stay here. ❜ ❛ you’ll change your name or change your mind & leave this fucked up place behind, but i’ll know. ❜ ❛ if you ever try to leave me, i’ll find you, [name]. ❜ ❛ i’ll be the bad guy, now. ❜ ❛ i couldn’t be there, even when i tried. ❜ ❛ seasons changed & our love went cold. ❜ ❛ i knew that this was doomed from the get-go. ❜ ❛ you thought that it was special, but it was just the sex, though. ❜ ❛ it’s only me; what have you got to lose? ❜ ❛ you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk & made fun of the way you talk. ❜ ❛ you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. ❜ ❛ you’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much. ❜ ❛ you’ve ruined my life by not being mine. ❜ ❛ you’re so gorgeous, i can’t say anything to your face. ’cause look at your face. ❜ ❛ i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way. ❜ ❛ if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her. but if you’re single, that’s honestly worse. ❜ ❛ you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts. ❜ ❛ you make me so happy, it turns back to sad. ❜ ❛ there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have. ❜ ❛ guess i’ll just stumble on home to my cats. alone … unless you wanna come along? ❜ ❛ you look so happy when i’m not with you. ❜ ❛ i don’t know why i run away. ❜ ❛ take me back, ’cause i wanna stay. ❜ ❛ i kept my distance ’cause i know that you don’t like when i’m with somebody else. ❜ ❛ i couldn’t help it; i put you through hell. ❜ ❛ i realize that it’s much too late, & you deserve someone better. ❜ ❛ i’m not the best at breaking up. ❜ ❛ i like my alone time, but i want somebody to hold. ❜ ❛ i get what i want. i keep it for a minute. then i let it go. ❜ ❛ i hate it when you’re there for me, but i like it when you hit the spot. ❜ ❛ i don’t do fake love, but i’ll take some from you tonight. ❜ ❛ i don’t expect you to understand. ❜ ❛ i’m ready to die holding your hand. ❜ ❛ i can’t hide how i feel about you inside. ❜ ❛ i’d give everything up tonight, if i could just have you be mine. ❜ ❛ i’d give up everything for you. ❜

#sentence starters #sentence meme #rp starters #rp meme #rp prompts #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #small text is no longer a thing on this blog bc tumblr makes it impossible to format long lists like this with the stupid #character limit rule so enjoy this normal sized text <3

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sunny44 · 9 months

Text

Marriage

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: anxiety and fights

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Next Chapter

My heart was racing as I stood at the altar, the cold sweat in the palm of my hands clashing with my racing thoughts.

The guests' whispers and expectant waiting for me to say yes, but I couldn't move.

Y/N, she deserved better than the mess I had made of things.

Just minutes before, I’ve been grappling with the weight of commitment.

Doubts, fears, and a paralyzing realization that I might not be ready had torn into me. In a painful instant, I’ve had made a gut-wrenching decision: to leave Y/N standing alone.

I could hear everyone's reactions as soon as I got down from the altar and started walking to the entrance of the church, for a moment I looked back and saw her being supported by her sister.

Everything would have been so much easier if I hadn't been a coward afraid of commitment, I wouldn't have left the love of my life in tears as I left as fast as my feet would allow.

…

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about and regret leaving her at that altar. The decision I've made that day is haunting me everyday. I was a pussy, running away from what could have been a beautiful future.

I walked into the bar with Daniel, who was talking about how excited he was to meet Lando's much-talked-about new friend.

"My God, I think you're more excited about seeing her than Lando himself.”

"Actually, I think she's more than just his friend, from the way he talks about her it sounds like he's completely in love."

"There they are." I pointed to the table where Lando was standing and I could hear him laughing and he was certainly in love with his friend.

"Hi guys, this is Y/n." He says smiling and she turns around and her smile disappears when she sees me. "This is Daniel and Max."

"You..."

"It's nice to meet you guys." She says before I can say anything and holds out her hand to us.

"Well, let's sit down."

The evening passed slowly and there was certainly a strange atmosphere when I arrived, but I think it was just me and her who noticed as Daniel and Lando were having a great time.

"Well everyone, everything was great but I have a lot of things to do tomorrow so I'll call it a night." She gets up and starts reaching for her purse.

"I'll pay for it." I say.

"If I wanted a men to pay for things for me, I'd be married." She says thickly and they look at her. "But thank you for offering."

She says goodbye and leaves and the boys carry on talking and don't even see me get up and go after her. She was holding her hand up for a cab to stop and I ran over and put her hand down and then the cab drove straight past.

"What's your problem?" She says and lets go of me.

"Can we talk?"

"No." She turns away from me.

"Please?" I ask again.

"No, I don't want to talk to you and in fact I never wanted to see you again." She says tearfully. "You have no idea how ashamed and humiliated I felt that day and how hard it was to get over you and move on. And now you turn up years later wanting to talk?"

“I want to say I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have the right to be sorry because if you were sorry you wouldn’t have humiliated me like that or at least called me and explained why you asked me to marry you and then left."

"I didn't want to do that."

"Then why did you do it? Why did you leave me crying on the church floor while you left?"

"Because I'm an idiot, okay? I was afraid of commitment and afraid that getting married at 21 was a mistake."

"And how long were you afraid?" She catches me off guard with the question. "Were you afraid on the day or had you been afraid for longer? And don't you dare lie to me."

"I was already feeling it but I didn't know exactly what it was."

"If you'd talked to me like you promised at the beginning of our relationship, none of this would have happened." She says and I feel my heart ache to see her like this. "Then I'm sorry if I don't want to hear or accept your apology."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop, stop repeating that." She started breathing heavily and talking quietly to herself and breathing badly. "I can't breathe, I can't breathe."

"Look at me." I hold her shoulders and she looks at me with wide eyes. "Copy my breathing, okay? Breathe in and out."

We stayed like that for a few seconds until she started breathing normally again but crying a lot so I pulled her in and hugged her, I could feel my shirt getting wet from the tears but after a while she calmed down.

"I'm sorry I stained your shirt." She says after pulling away and wiping the mascara stains.

"It's okay, I don't care about the shirt."

"Okay." She lets go and looks at the floor.

"Come on, I'll take you wherever you want." She agrees and follows me to my car.

She gives me the address and I drive her to her house. The car is silent until she turns on the radio and I look at her.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked." She turns off.

"You don't have to." I said, calling again.

10 minutes later we arrived at her apartment and I realized that it was very close to mine, I opened the door and she was about to leave but she took a deep breath and looked at me.

"Thank you for bringing me home."

"No problem." She gave a slight smile and went inside and I felt as if I would never see her again.

Little did I know that it wouldn't be the last time I'd see her.

This story could have a part 2 because I left the ending open so if you want more, let me know in the comments.

And also let me know if you want to be tagged in part 2 if I do.

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redstarwriting · 11 months

Text

his girl | x. talkin’ bout my girl

earth 42!miles morales x fem!reader | miles morales x fem!reader

word count: 2k

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: language, spoilers (!!!), more fluff, mentions of severe injuries, bad Spanish probably, so much multiverse shit

a/n: and that’s a wrap on another spiderverse series! wild. big thank you to everyone who read and supported the story! it was fun to write, and sorry for all the major plot twists and turns i threw in there i’m a little unhinged sometimes LMAO but in all seriousness, i hope you enjoy this last chapter🖤

his girl masterlist

previous chapter: ix. i’ve got sunshine

now reading: x. talkin’ bout my girl

end.

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You and Miles are back to being inseparable. And both you and him have never been happier. Rio is relieved, and so happy that the two of you are no longer just best friends, but partners. Jefferson feels the same way and is even more relieved that you know and are there for him as Spider-Man on top of it all. His parents missed having you around the house for a while, so they’re more than happy that you’re around basically all the time. Ganke sort of hates it because the two of you can be all lovey-dovey in front of him, but also doesn’t because you join in with him to make fun of Miles for being an idiot. Something the two of you agreed on was to never tell anyone else you were Black Cat. It could be too dangerous for you, and Miles doesn’t exactly like the thought of you going to jail for stealing.

What he does like is you’re sneaky enough to follow him into Spider Society when he goes. Sometimes he lets you sneak in with him. The first time, though, he was completely unaware you followed him. And when you popped up behind him, mask on, Miguel almost had an aneurysm.

“Why is there a Black Cat here?!” he yelled, and Miles, who didn’t even know you were there until Miguel said that, put his arm around you protectively. “Because she’s my girlfriend. And she is really good at following me without setting my sense off. We got a problem or something?”

“Yes, Miles, we do. Black Cats can’t be–”

“Remember that time you told me I shouldn’t exist? I remember that.”

“He told you that?” you feign ignorance. You know everything Miguel did to Miles, and you hate him because of that. But you pretend you don’t know because it gives you an excuse to look shocked and make him feel bad instead of your real feelings of being ready to fight him right now. And Miguel actually falls for it. “I NEVER–” he begins to protest, but cuts himself off with a sigh, shaking his head and muttering some things in Spanish. “If you do anything…” he points at you, and your mask fades away as you narrow your eyes at him. “You wouldn’t know if I did,” you say, and he groans. “Black Cats. Always the same,” he mutters, turning around and walking away.

From that point on, if you didn’t have anything to do, you would accompany Miles to Spider Society. And today was one of those days. The two of you are walking hand in hand when Gwen lands next to the two of you. “Hey lovebirds,” she says, bumping her shoulder against yours. “Hey, Gwen,” you say, and she joins the two of you. “What are you two up to today?” “Nothing, really. Actually, was gonna ask you, Pav, and Hobie if y’all had anything to do," Miles says and Gwen sighs. “Yeah, actually, Hobie and Pav are on a mission right now. And I have a father-daughter day planned with my dad so we can try to mend our relationship after he, y’know, threatened to arrest me and pulled a gun on me,” Gwen says, and you both nod, making noises of disgust and agreement. “Yeah, probably for the best you don’t miss that,” you say, and she nods. “Yeah. Oh! And then I someone you know might have a date with Mary Jane later,” Gwen says, and you stop walking, turning to her and grabbing her shoulders. “Are you for real?!”

“Yes! I finally asked her, and she said yes!” The two of you do The little teenage girl excited jump up and down action, and Miles grins. “Happy for you, Gwen, but can you please give me my girlfriend back, my hand is cold,” he says, motioning to the hand you abandoned to talk to Gwen. You and Gwen look at each other, rolling your eyes as you slip your hand back into his. Gwen glances at her watch. “Fine, I have to go anyways. Oh, I’ll see you two tomorrow at Hobie’s, right?”

“You know it,” Miles says, and she grins. “Great! Well, see you two later!” Gwen says, opening up a portal to her world and stepping through. You look at Miles. “So, what do you wanna do now?” you ask, and he shrugs. “Guess it’s just gonna be us hanging out. How tragic,” Miles says with a small smile on his face, and you shake your head. “Maybe I should see if there’s any museum or rich person I can steal from,” you tease, and he rolls his eyes. “Ha. Ha,” he says, and you squeeze his hand. The two of you make your way to one of the common rooms, but before you can even sit down you hear someone call out Miles’ name.

You both turn your heads in the direction it came from and a new Spider-Woman lands beside the two of you. She takes her mask off, and your eyes get big. It’s you. “(Y/n)? like Earth 42, (Y/n)?” he asks, and you nod. “Yeah! This is weird, right? I think it’s a little weird.”

“Uh, what’s weird is you’re me,” you say, pointing at you. “Oh! You fixed it!” 42 you says, high-fiving Miles. “I told you it’s weird, didn’t I?” Miles asks you, and you nod. He’d told you about how he was sent to an alternate universe with no Spider-Man and how he met himself there. And in doing so, met the you of that world, too. Now you’re looking at her… but he never mentioned she was Spider-Woman. But you gather he also didn’t know she was Spider-Woman by the way he motions to her suit. “When did… this happen?”

“The day you arrived and then promptly left, actually,” you say, “so about two weeks ago. You remember how Miles and Aaron went to Alchemax? Yeah, well, apparently they were developing a new spider similar to the spider that bit you, and it crawled into Miles’ duffle bag he had. He and I were sleeping in his room, and it crawled out, and he got up to go get water or something and it crawled over to me and bit me. Found it the next morning.”

“Oh? And you’re already here?” Miles asks, and you nod. “After we realized, which, by the way, absolutely fucking wild. You can heal overnight? That caught everyone off guard. Ms. Morales thought she was the next coming of Jesus Christ for a second, but anyway, after we figured out I had similar abilities to you, that Miguel dude showed up and offered me one of these little watches. He said he was happy this world had a Spider-Person now, but when he saw Miles, he did a whole ass double take and then muttered how he ‘can’t escape this kid’ in Spanish. Miles, of course, responded also in Spanish, and then he looked stressed and just left,” you explain, and Miles laughs. Even when he wasn’t around, he was plaguing Miguel with his existence in multiple universes. “Yeah, sorry for not warning you but he hates me.”

“We picked up on that,” you say, and then you look over at you. “Okay. time for me to be weirded out, why do I have an outfit that looks like Miles’ Prowler outfit?” you ask, and you shrug. “I’m Black Cat.”

“Also, she and Miles of your world are insanely intelligent engineers, inventors, and designers. Looks like they think the same way, too,” Miles says, wrapping his arm around you and looking at you proudly. “Oh! Do you wanna go see him? I told him the first thing I’d do is look for you and make sure you didn’t fuck up with me. And! The two of us have started to fix up New York! I’m sure he’d be happy to see you,” 42 you says, starting to fiddle with her watch. “Hell yeah! Totally, you okay with that, amor?”

“Of course. I’d like to meet this other Miles, maybe exchange some engineering ideas if his suit seems half as cool as you hyped it up to be,” you say, and 42 you grins to herself. You knew that he’d be able to figure it out, but it’s still so nice and refreshing seeing the Miles who was so distracted and in his head genuinely looking and feeling better with you by his side. The portal pulls up, and you motion the two of you to follow. You do, and end up in what looks exactly like Miles’ room, except instead of art supplies and sketches of Spider-Man stuff, it’s more geared towards technology and sketches for gauntlets. Of course, there’s now a mix of that with Spider-Woman sketches and ideas, but the other Miles’ blueprints and designed are what catch your eye immediately. They look very similar to yours, and you can’t help but read some of the notes on the pages. “Vibranium? Where the fuck did he get vibranium…” you mumble to yourself, and 42 you looks at the both of you. “Ms. Morales isn’t home, so we can be as vocal about our identities as we like. She does know about me, but not Miles still. Figured it would be fine for her to know about my shit but Miles is a little more… complicated,” you say, opening the door. 42 Miles turns his head. “Ay, ma, who you talking to?”

“Miles,” you say, motioning that 1610 Miles is back. “Que pasa, hermano?” 1610 Miles asks, and he and Miles dap each other up. You wave, and 42 Miles smiles at you. “Hola, preciosa,” he says, winking at you. Your Miles wraps his arm around you. “Woah, there, bro, that (Y/n) might is your girl. This (Y/n) is my girl” he says, kissing your temple. You smile a bit, and 42 Miles puts his hands up in surrender. “I may be your girl, but I do wanna talk to you,” you point at 42 Miles, “about the notes about a vibranium gauntlet design. Where the hell are you getting vibranium and how does it react with the PVC piping you used to on the fingers?” 1610 Miles shakes his head, and 42 Miles smirks. “You get it?” he asks, and you nod. “Oh, I get it. Now explain.”

“Ella lo consigue,” he says, turning to his (Y/n) who rolls her eyes. “Got the vibranium from a job about a week ago, no one was using it, so,” he shrugs, “decided it belonged to me.”

“Where?”

“Avengers Tower.”

“Shut up. How hard are their security systems?”

“Hard if you ain’t smart,” he says, and you nod. “Should be simple then.”

“Stop… stop planning on breaking into Avengers Tower in front of me, amor,” 1610 Miles says, and 42 you sigh. “Yeah, babe, same here. You know I’m gonna have to stop people from doing that shit now,” you mumble, as both 1610 you and 42 Miles roll your eyes. “It’s my job,” 1610 you and 42 Miles say at the same time. “It’s ours too!” 1610 Miles and 42 you say before Miles processes that the Avengers are on your Earth. “Wait, you have the Avengers here?” Miles asks 42 (Y/n), and you nod. “Yeah.”

“Why haven’t they fixed New York?”

“Oh, do your Avengers care unless it’s a world-ending event? What’s that like?” you ask him, and he scoffs. “That… is actually very correct. They are totally not like that,” Miles says, and you sigh. “This Spider-Woman shit is a lot of responsibility.”

“I hear that,” Miles grumbles, as the two of them watch 1610 you and 42 Miles discussing their tactics on how they break into places and comparing gadgets. Miles can’t help but think that it’s funny how ending up in the wrong universe gave him some new friends and helped him get the girl who has always been the girl he wanted, even if he was a little slow with it. But it also caused him so much distress, almost made him die, and showed him an alternate reality of how his life may have ended up.

Man, this multiverse shit is confusing.

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『 his girl tag list 』

@agustdeeyaa @akemiixx01 @angeli-fucking-cat @avatar-lover* @camilleverreault @cherriebat @dani111* @darlingdontwe @denuparxoume @eciipsedpoet @eitaababe @em711 @gwennesy @hana-1235 @hana-yuri @hunnybunny78* @imaginarydreams @inluvwithneteyam @itzmeme @jonathanthor @kaaylvst @kdbsr-h* @kezibear @kikookii @kingsmanperfecthartwin @korehiiime @laurszd @laylasbunbunny @lazyotakuofficial @mama-2001 @miggyoharaswife @mividaasi @nightshxdex @notplutos* @p3rf3ct4ng3l @papichulo120627 @po55um @ptsmplekaramele @realityshifter111 @rksses @scarletrosesposts @silly-norman @simp4miguell @shoyofroyoyoyo @shxxnz @snixx2088 @soy-garbage @sp1derm4nluver @staravity @stevenknightmarc @storm-enika* @sukisprettyface @sunshinesetsstuff* @sweetheartlizzie07 @sweetteyam @talkyoongitome @tanchosanke @tenaciousduckpoetry @thatonehjpstan @unforgettable420 @violettathewriter @whoisgami @yasfrommiles @yourfavstalker25789* @zenxvii

『 itsv/atsv tag list 』

@1eonk @autismnation @briannaxox @em711 @februarybluues @fennecspage* @fiannee @hearts4hobie @kitsunna4 @lovefks @luvvrgirll @mintkookiess @parkerpresentz @peyingbills* @smuuchies* @soseoulol @stoic0utlaws @swaqlover* @tes-conscience @zombie-catz

*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

if you wish to be on either tag list, reach out and let me know! thank you to everyone for the support!🖤

───────────────────────────────

#miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #earth 42 miles morales x reader #prowler miles x reader #spiderman x reader #spider-man x reader #spiderverse x reader #atsv x reader #miles morales #earth 42 miles morales #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv

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sunnys-out · 7 months

Text

What Rivalry? | Leah Williamson and Alessia Russo

A/N: Sorry this is a wee later than I thought, but I played soccer all day Saturday for charity and took Sunday to recover. Also, I'm a bit sad because the English defender I was talking to went back to England to renew her visa and I miss her lol so please enjoy this would make my day.

Based on this request

Warnings: Alcohol, implied smut, MDNI

Word Count: 2087

I had a thing for Arsenal players…Something about not only beating Arsenal in a game but then bedding one of the star English players as a Chelsea player, was something I loved.

I was a Blue through and through, pops and my older brother played for the Chelsea men and my mum was one of the physical therapists at Chelsea. Being a Blue did not stop me from eyeing Miss Leah Williamson after each and every game we had against Arsenal.

“There she goes again, money on Leah rejecting her this time.” Kerr would elbow Millie as she saw me saunter over and see me place an arm around an already smiling Leah.

Millie only blew out a breath, “yeah Sammy you already lost before ya even started, look at her…(y/n) got her wrapped around her finger”.

Sam only looked on and saw that my arm had now traveled to hold Leah’s waist as I stood whispering softly in her ear, earning a giggle from the normally stern faced captain.

“Ohhh yeah she’s a goner” Sam said with a laugh as both started back towards the tunnel.

______________________________________________________________

Leah and I had an arrangement, obviously, and well the first time that I was able to have a taste of Miss Leah Williamson it was after a particularly hard game for Arsenal…made her keep the game jersey on for our first night together.

Leah Williamson tastes like a good bourbon out with friends, a warm cinnamon candy during the fall, like a sunset, like the colors of autumn…She was addicting and tasted like the colors of the jersey she wore all bunched up above her chest as I took my time with her every single derby game.

She never stayed, always leaving once I had finished and never returned the favor. Leah wanted some time to just let go of control and I was the one to allow that for her…that was months ago, see it was just an arrangement…that’s all it ever was going to be. It was always going to be something physical and nothing more…the way that I had intended but I found myself falling for Leah…ironically…shortly after I had shut her down when she had confessed to me.

I remember when I tried to rectify whatever we had after I fucked it up when I had pulled her aside after a USWNT vs. England match.

______________________________________________________________

“Didn’t realize this was an Arsenal/Chelsea match? And bold of you to want to do something in the hallway…didn’t take that as your thing” Leah whispered the last part as she pulled me closer.

I put my hands on hers gently removing them from my jersey.

“No, Leah, I actually wanted to see if you were willing to go get a drink with me and you know actually talk?” Leah’s smile immediately drops at the realization and she takes a step back.

Her raised hand immediately stops me before I could continue, “You don’t get to do this. I was heartbroken when you shut me down and I was like, "Fine, something physical as long as I can get to keep her around in some way”

She pauses to collect her thoughts and uses her next breath as her eyes grow stern, “But you can’t just shut me down and then realize you felt the same way. I don’t even think you actually have feelings for me…what about me do you like?”

I shuffle my feet, the sound of my cleats on the hard floors of the hallway.

“I still remember the first time…I still remember how you tast-” the English captain rolled her eyes and got close.

“You're really going to use what you said to me when you shut me down…it worked when you wanted to keep it physical..you being all poetic about the sex…but to use it when you actually want to prove that you want a relationship with me?” the space between us grew as I frowned.

The words now escaping me and a small, “You’re right, we shouldn’t keep doing this” escaped my mouth…Leah lifted my chin gently with her hand.

“Hey we both wanted it like this initially…so I can’t be mad at you…but you need someone who will want to stay with you even after the fact, take care of you, I don’t know…make you breakfast in bed or whatever… but that can’t be me…I’m sorry”. And with that Leah left the narrative…leaving me to not only sit with the 2-0 loss against England but also losing her completely

______________________________________________________________

Months and Months would pass and continue on…just like Leah did. She found herself with Jordan and well I was happy for her. There was a bit of bitterness in my mouth because I hadn’t found anyone who wanted to stick around in the morning.

Jessie Fleming, being my closest friend on the team, would always be there for my frustrated rants and she’d constantly reassure that there was definitely someone out there that “would put up with me and more”.

Jess’ way of getting me out of a funk was to prevent me from immediately going home after a Derby game. Of course, she would elicit the help of Sammy and Millie in convincing me that a drink with the Arsenal girls would not be such a bad idea.

“Come on, (y/n), ya can’t stay cooped up in your apartment all the time” Millie grabs me by the elbow after I had tried to return to my room.

I huffed as I sat on my couch crossing my arms, “I look ridiculous”.

“I think you look hot, come on, there were some new Arsenal signings so ya got options.” Sam winked as she finished up her pre-game drink.

I roll my eyes “weren’t y’all the ones giving me shit about getting with an Arsenal girl?” my hands going up and shaking “No, (y/n) come on keep the sanctity of the rivalry!” I mocked what had previously been said.

It was their turn to roll their eyes, “What rivalry? All I see is that you need to find someone” Jessie smacks my shoulder.

“Now come on, and don’t worry Leah won’t be there since her whole ACL thing” Millie says now picking me up from the couch and pushing me out of the door.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia’s POV:

The bar was lively and we all had our own little booth away from the public so that we could all enjoy our time together. This was my first outing with the Arsenal girls since joining the team.

Lotte and Steph had reassured me that it was just a fun time with the girls and that the Chelsea girls didn’t bite.

“So, who’s coming?” I yelled to McCabe as she downed the last of her first beer of the night.

She looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, “Why? Hoping for someone in particular, Russo?”

“No, just curious” I say while taking a sip of the beer in front of me. Thankfully, the darkness of the bar hid the obvious blush now creeping on my cheeks. I was waiting for someone in particular, (y/n) (l/n)...I’ve had a crush on her even when I was at Manchester United.

I tried to swap jerseys with her and maybe swapped numbers but she was pretty to herself after games.

Katie seemed to read my thoughts, as a smirk played on her lips.

“Oh I know who…that girl is a tough one and that’s coming from me but she’s a sweet gal”

Caitlin looked to the entrance of the bar and with a laugh “speaking of sweet gals, look at the who finally arrived. The Blues late as usual”

I look over and see Sam, Millie, Jessie and trailing behind them (y/n).

“Sorry! Sorry, we had to drag this one out of her apartment” Sam said pushing (y/n) to the front. I, immediately, hid my face in my beer ignoring the dig from McCabe’s elbow into my side.

I glance up and catch (y/n)’s eye. She had a curious look in her eye that then shifted to annoyance as Sam pushed her in my direction as she sat down next to me.

(y/n) took her time to say hi to the rest of the girls and I suddenly felt McCabe’s elbow again.

I realized that (y/n) was looking at me, “Oh sorry was a bit in my own world there”

She laughs a little and shakes her head, “No worries, I don’t mind it…I’m (y/n), congrats on signing to Arsenal, you played well in your debut by the way, Alessia”

The way my name sounded in her mouth made me melt into a puddle right then and there and I only snapped out of it once she got closer so as to not yell is what I told myself.

“I’m going to go get something stronger, want to come with or are you going to be nursing that beer the rest of the night?” she said just enough for me to hear.

I honestly think she felt the heat from the blush on my cheeks because a smile appeared on her lips before I even said “yes”.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia followed me and we both remained at the bar and had just a cocktail before she pulled me to the dance floor.

“Come on it’ll be fun” she said, pulling me towards her as we had a space to ourselves.

I looked at her slightly amused as she hadn’t realized that her hands had found their place at my waist.

“Bold, Russo…you trying to pull me?” I say not trying to break eye contact.

Must have been the alcohol in her system because a laugh escaped her.

“Well yeah hoping to pull the cute girl in front of me?”

I return the laugh and lean into her, “well I'm not going to stop anything that you may be planning, Russo”

Alessia, empowered, grabbed me by the chin and kissed me deeply totally forgetting that our respective teammates were watching from the booth across the bar.

Millie patted Sam’s shoulder, “guess, who won the bet Sammy, you owe me dinner” which earned an exaggerated roll of Sam’s eyes as she also slid a bill towards Millie.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia and I both found ourselves at my apartment later that night, clothes strewn about, both of our phones lighting up with notifications but us ignoring everything and focusing only on the other.

The taste of Alessia, I knew I would become addicted to, but I didn’t hold my breath because the other side of my bed would be empty come morning…like always.

I savored the moment and the sounds that she made as she came undone. Like a nice coconut rum, the sunrise in a forest, like a honey candy and as intense as the sun. Leah was right, I’m too poetic for my own good.

The light from my curtains hit my eyes as I lifted myself up…surprising myself when I felt a weight holding down the rest of my sheets.

There lay Alessia, sleeping soundly, with the sun hitting her hair in a way that created a light shine around her features. A small scrunch on her nose as she felt the movement from me and a light flutter of lashes allowed for her gentle blue eyes to greet me.

“Morning’” she whispered with a slight giggle.

I only nod, not knowing what to say.

“Sorry, I knocked out right after…I did want to return the favor you know” she said shifting closer to me.

I shake my head “nah, it’s ok…” Alessia stops me as she now finds herself on top of me, now filled with an energy in her eyes even though she had just woken up moments ago.

“No, I want to and then I can make you breakfast too…” She said gently lowering herself, taking my lips slowly as she did as she promised.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia stayed more than that morning, she made an effort to visit me and make me laugh many times after that night. At our first derby game together, she prompted a swapping of jerseys where with her jersey was a crumpled piece of paper neatly written.

“What rivalry? Just want to be able to take you on a proper date. :) Text me when you get home xxx-xxx-xxxx”

Jessie was right, I did find someone, who would put up with me and more and I'm glad it’s Alessia.

#arsenal wfc #arsenal women #lionesses #engwnt x reader #alessia russo x reader #leah williamson x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics

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psychesalcove · 18 days

Text

WE WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED

college au!percy jackson x fem!reader

⚠️: reader has anxiety, percy being too obvious for his own good, shitty writing (im sorry guys 😭), mentions of sex, cursing, emotional cheating (on percys end), not proofread at all, mentions of an anxiety attack, insecure reader

IN WHICH: you and percy have been dating for around a year. however, you feel like he is always choosing annabeth over you, even if he isn't aware of it. tonight, you decided to confront him about it, ending the night not knowing where your relationship stands with him.

requested: yes, by anon

a/n: GUYS IM SO SORRY IM KIKE NOT GOOD AT WRITING ANGST BUT I TRIES 😭😭 JUST MESSAGW ME ABAIN AND ILL REWRITE IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!😔

you knew this talk had to happen at some point. it was inevitable. there was this unspoken tension between you and percy, and you weren't even sure if he was aware of it. for a while, you thought it was just your anxiety driven brain making you feel the tension—but you soon realized it was there and not made up.

percy and you had been dating for around a year, beggening right before your freshman year of college started. before that, percy had been in a relationship with annabeth. you were on neutral terms with her;you weren't best friends, but you also didn't hate eachother. but lately, that feeling of neutrality with her was slipping away.

you knew percy and her were close, but you didn't understand why they were as close as they were. you knew percy would never cheat, but you figured he didn't understand not being there for his partner.

anytime you wanted to be around him, he would say that annabeth needed him for something. reviewing notes for class, wanting help with decorating her condo, helping her with a new recipe she was doing, anything really.

at first, you didn't mind that much. you knew they weren't sleeping with eachother or anything, but as time went on, going into the last quarter of the school year, you knew that he would go back to annabeth sooner rather than later. his mind was always occupied with her, somehow managing to bring her up in every conversation you have with him.

ᝰ

you sat on the beige couch that you and percy had bought at Ikea last summer, looking out to the balcony area, waiting for percy to arrive. as much as you didn't want to talk to him about this, you knew the longer you put it off the harder the talk would be. you assumed he would be getting back in around 5 minutes, knowing the route he takes in his car to get to the condo from campus.

suddenly the old wooden door creaked open, disturbing the silence that blanketed the room. you sighed lightly, still wondering how to even start a conversation with percy.

percy soon came into vision, dropping his jansport backpack onto the floor before turning to you. "hi, pretty," he hummed. "how was your day?"

you decided to ease into a normal conversation between the two of you before asking the inevitable question that could determine the future of your relationship. "it was fine, english has been kicking my ass recently though, how about you?" you asked, moving around so you were in a more comfortable position.

"it was also fine, but if your having trouble with english, i could ask annabeth—" you cut him off with a sigh, knowing that was your que to steer the conversation in another direction.

"could you sit down percy, please?" you say, making eye contact with him for the first time since he came home. "we really need to talk,"

"uhm.. yeah of course" he says looking around the room quickly before sitting down on the sofa. "if this is about those mint cookies, i did eat them, didn't mean to though, promise." he explains quickly, looking at you with a small smile.

you press your lips into a thin line, knowing how different of a conversation this is going to be than that. "percy, where do you see our relationship going?"

there it is. the idea is out there, in the open, for percy to do anything with.

you watch his eyes widen slightly, looking at you with a questioning look. "what do you mean? i mean, obviously we're going to keep living together, maybe get a better place for next year, we could even make our new kitchen like annabeths–"

"there you go again talking about annabeth!" you said, raising your voice slightly. "i know that the two of you are friends, and i'm fine with that, but not if it's getting in the way of our relationship. almost every conversation you bring her up:annabeth this annabeth that. i know you two are exs, and again, i'm fine with that, but that also means you could have romantiic feelings about her still. i really don't think we should even be doing this if you do, percy."

he sat up straighter at the tone of your voice and what you said to him. "why would i still have feelings for a annabeth? that's why we chose to end our relationship, because neither of us had feelings for eachother!" he exclaimed, attempting to keep a calm voice.

"percy, i really just don't think you're in the mental place to be in a relationship with me, or maybe anyone right now. i don't know what to do—"

percy cut you off, "what do you mean you don't know what to do? i'm the one being told by my girlfriend of a year that she doesn't know if she wants to continue our relationship!" he sat up from the couch and started motioning with his hands. "I'm the one that doesn't know what to do. it's not like i'm going around and having sex with annabeth. you know i wouldn't do that to you!"

"there are other ways of cheating than that percy, and im not saying your cheating on me, I'm just saying that your mind is still on annabeth, which means I don't know if we should be a thing or not." you said. "and honestly, with the reaction your having, i wouldn't be surprised if you were cheating." you also sat up from the couch and moved to stand by him.

"i understand that, but like i said, i'm not going over there to have sex with her or kiss her or anything like that. all im doing is spending time with her, can i not chose who i spend my time with now?" percy spat at you, giving you a look that made you know he was starting to get pissed off.

"that's the problem percy! your spending time with her, which would be okay, if you weren't canceling on me, your girlfriend!" you said, continuing to raise your voice.

he scoffed at you. "name one time that i cancel—"

"last week, when we were supposed to go the cafe to study for an exam together. i was waiting for you at the door when you were grabbing your backpack, and then you come up to me and say that you can't go because annabeth had finished reviewing your notes. and, for some reason, you had to go to hers that moment to get your notes instead of saying that you could later and go to the cafe, with your girlfriend!" you rambled, getting more mad remembering the memory.

you saw a small flash of guilt in percys eyes, but you didn't let him speak. "every single week percy! its the same fucking thing! you cancle last minute to go to annabeth, even dates you've canceled. and i know that your not sleeping with her or anything, but you're still putting her first instead of me. and that hurts. it really hurts." your voice became softer, cracking when you finished speaking.

your eyes filled with tears, and you started blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. "so yeah, percy, that's why i'm wondering what's going to be our relationship in the future. because right now, i'm not seeing one at all."

you shook your head as you saw his mouth open, still wanting to talk and get through to him. "i love you, so, so much. and it hurts, knowing that i'll always be out second to annabeth. if you want to continue our relationship, you're really going to have to change, percy. and i don't know if you're willing to do that for me." your tears starting openly falling down your face, your brain thinking of what it'll be like to not have percy in your life.

you saw percys mouth open, so you quickly looked down, knowing whatever he was going to say will make you go over the edge and into an anxiety attack. "...why didn't you tell me you felt like that?" he asked with a soft tone to his voice. you shook your had again, knowing you didn't fully get through to him.

"if you were feeling like that, you could have told me and i would have stopped," percy explained, opening his arms to hug you.

you quickly stepped back, not wanting to touch him. "you know what percy? i shouldn't have even had to talk to you about it, because it shouldn't have been a problem. i would have talked to you about it sooner, but i knew it was going to go the way this is going." you said as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

"your not understanding what you did wrong, just saying that i should have done something. which i should have, but i was to nervous, i know that you're too good foe me, gods, i get reminded every single day! so i didn't bring it up to you because i knew that i could've lost you by talking about this!" you let out your first sob as you finished, now thinking of how your going to have to move all your stuff out and stay at your friends condo until you can find a new one.

"hey—hey, let's have you calm down first before we talk. i promise I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to," he said, attempting to make eye contact before you looked down again.

"can, can you just leave? just for a while, please? I–I need to think and it's just really hard being around you right now." you said through your sobs, feeling guilty of practically kicking percy out of his own home, even if just for a while.

you didn't hear what he said, but you watched through your blurred vision as he walked away twords the front hall, heard him grab his keys, and then heard the door close behind him. you quickly walked into your shared bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of your queen size bed.

you look over at percys nightstand, seeing a framed picture of the two of you on your 6th month anniversary. then, your eyes quickly go to a polaroid in front of the framed picture. you sobs grew louder as you grabbed the framed picture and threw it out of anger, sending glass shards across the carpeted floor.

the polaroid was of percy and annabeth, sitting at the campfire back at camp half blood, both having matching smiles on their faces.

you could never compete with annabeth, even in the form of a picture.

#percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #percy pjo #percy jackson x you #pjo x you #pjo x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x reader angst #percy jackson x you angst

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lw6-woso · 5 months

Text

car driver and the footballer (Leah X reader)

growing up You loved karting like you loved it every other day after school you were on the track loving life. so when you became a formula one driver was a dream you thought would never come true, especially being the only female on the track, it definitely had its disadvantages but also its positives as you campaigned women and girls to join the sport and get more into sports outside of formula one.

and that's how you met Leah Williamson and you both hit it of instantly not just promoting women to join sports and have the ability to do join sports but just in general, and you also had a massive crush on her from watching her play whenever you weren't training or racing. you got together in August of 2019 and have been strong ever since.

today was both your free days but instead of relaxing and spending time together you had some photo shoots and interviews.

you both had called a taxi to the middle of London and you walked into a building were you would be spending your day.

you met all the people who were involved and the first thing was the photoshoot. your relationship was a public one and was one of the most popular one in women sports and both your individual sports especially when Leah won the euros last summer and you winning a lot of your races through your last couple of seasons, you were both in your prime.

you had finished your photoshoots taking around 50 photos only taking two hours. talking the interview was going to be longer as you were going to answer questions about your journey to becoming pro- athletes.

"so the first question what made you want to start your sports how did you get involved" Sara , one of the staff, asked us.

Leah went first and said "growing up i was involved in lots of sports and i asked my mum to join football and i fell in love with it especially with watching a lot of it with my family and yeah one thing led to another and I'm here"

"with me i have ADHD and growing up my parents tried to get me into sports i mean i think i tried everything they could think of some i liked some i hated and i loved watching cars growing up the movie i mean i was obsessed watched it everyday and my mum asked me if i wanted to do things like that and i said i can be like lightning McQueen and yeah after one session i loved every aspect of it and i still do" you said.

"she still loves cars" Leah said.

"oh yeah best movie hands down" you said and looked at leah who was smiling at me.

"how old were you when you went pro and how did it feel what was it like" she asked.

"my first pro season was in 2017 i was with Williams right at the bottom and it was scary you know i was surrounded with all these big racers and i had just turned 18 and that was even scarier but i survived and now i am with Mercedes and its amazing" you said.

"i was 16 when i went pro and made my debut after my 17th at arsenal which was 2014 and like what Y/N said it was scary with all the big names and people that i grew up watching and my idols but yeah I'm still at arsenal had have no plans to leave and i can even put into words in how much i love it" she said.

we answered more questions about our sports and us in a relationship and then we were done. we made our way home and it was my turn to choose the movie and just for the sake of it you put on Cars. Leah walked into the living room videoing me.

"i think you love that movie more than you do me" she said.

"oh please don't say your jealous over a movie" you said laughing and she chucked a cushion at you. she sat down and put it on her story and everyone laughed and commented on it.

"i love you more than cars" you said.

"oh really" she said sitting up and you nodded taking a drink from you water.

"i love you more than arsenal" she said and your jaw dropped.

"oh my god i feel so special" you said dragging her towards you as littered kisses all over her face making her laugh.

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angel-of-the-moons · 6 months

Text

Doppelgänger

Miguel x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Angst, self-image issues, mentions of childhood trauma, addiction, our mans has had it rough as fuck™

A/N: Brought on by this post from @tarjapearce and the comments i made (I'm sorry i am a ho for some angst sometimes) I'm merging ATSV stuff with comic stuffs because NO WAY IS HIS MOVIE DESIGN LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE WITHOUT IT POSSIBLY COMING UP IN FUTURE MOVIES ASDFGHJKL

Taglist: @tojishugetiddies

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

You came home and it was quiet. Quiet and dark; and already you knew something was up. You left Miguel sleeping so you could attend to some meetings and paperwork at your office, and pick up a few groceries.

Miguel had been acting strange the past few days. You'd asked him if it had something to do with work and he simply shrugged the question aside, like it was a small chip on one of his broad shoulders.

You'd asked him what was bothering him again, and he simply stared at the carpet, muttering something you didn't quite catch, and he went straight to bed.

You were so worried you'd even texted Gabriel on your walk home:

Hey, Gabe...

Heyyyy! If it ain't my favorite brother's girlfriend!

You couldn't help but roll your eyes with a soft snort. You only have one brother, Gabe.

No no, chica, I meant that you're my favorite of any girlfriends he's ever had. 😂

Gabe that sounds a little... Bad. 😬

Does it? Woops! Anyways, what's up? My big dumb, brick-house brother do something to make you mad?

No, Gabe... He's acting weird. Has been for the past few days, and he won't open up to me. I'm worried.

You could see the chat bubble pop up over and over again with '...' signifying that he was in the process of texting. With how many times it popped up and went away you were expecting a bible scripture's length of a text wall.

But what you got instead made your heart sink.

He saw our mom. She... She brought up Tyler.

Oh, god. You knew that Miguel and Conchata had a rocky relationship. Miguel had told you why. It was so bad, even just recalling everything, that you felt Miguel's pain like it was your own.

You also knew that Miguel's biological father, Tyler Stone, was the one that manipulated him, that used him, got him addicted to Rapture and almost killed him...

But it wasn't even the real dose of Rapture. It was simulated. Just another manipulation tactic. It was overhearing that conversation that Miguel found out the truth of his heritage, and you could tell that nugget of knowledge permanently chipped his sense of identity.

Even moreso when he confessed to you about Gabriela--

Your phone pinged.

They fought. It was... It was ugly. I... I didn't know about Tyler. God, chica, I didn't know. Dad was...

You felt your heart flop, knowing poor Gabriel was shielded by Miguel for so long so he didn't have to suffer like he did at the hands of their gaslighting and manipulative mother, his sadistic sperm donor... Miguel wanted nothing more than to protect Gabriel from that pain.

Your fingers flew fast on the little keyboard, a few spelling errors here and there;

God, Gabri im sory you had to fidn out that way

I know. It figures Miguel would have told you, before me, tho. He loves you.

He loves you too, Gabri. God, more than you know. He loves you.

I know. He was trying to keep me safe and out of Mom's drama.

No offense, Gabri, but if I ever see that woman I'm rearranging her face with a shovel.

OMG. I mean... After the things she said to Miggy, I... Kind of want her to at least feel consequences of her actions, y'know?

Oh, she will. Don't worry. Thanks for telling me this, Gabri.

Go cuddle my big brother and tell him I love him, k? Let me know how he's doing.

OMW home now, I'll text you when he's feeling better.

KK, see ya.

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

Yeah. You knew for sure Miguel was still heartbroken when you came home after that.

You put the groceries away, a somber expression on your face as a million thoughts went through your head.

God, of course Conchata had to come see Gabriel at the same time Miguel was there. You wouldn't be surprised if either she could have tabs kept on him, just to... to try and lord her power over him somehow, like he was still that scared little boy, holding onto his baby brother, being his shield and buffer from their parents' fights.

That bitch had to have had a hand in Tyler using him the way that he did, that she had to have known about--

Your mind was knocked away from those dark thoughts when you heard glass shatter.

You dropped the bag of apples onto the ground, the fruits tumbling out and rolling across the floor as you made a mad dash to your bedroom.

Noting Miguel wasn't in there, you turned to the adjoining bathroom door, seeing faint light come down from below, small wafts of steam rolling out.

"Miguel?" You frantically called out, knocking on the door and leaning your ear against the smooth metal.

You could hear shuffling and the tinkling of glass shards, as well as the shower running; but no verbal reply.

You knocked on the door again, hurried and a little too hard, your fingers hovering over the control panel.

Before you could push a button, the door slid open.

Miguel was in nothing but a pair of boxers, leaning over your bathroom sink, his hands gripping the marble countertops, threatening to crack the material. Beads of water rolled down his muscular, tanned skin; droplets of water dripped from the ends of his thick, wavy chocolate locks, the natural curls more apparent thanks to the water.

That's when you noticed it. Your bathroom mirror, shattered into a hundred pieces, scattering the counter, floor, and in the sink.

Bright, scarlet droplets were on the floor, steadily building into small puddle from his right hand, his knuckles split, shards of the reflective material sticking out of it.

"I'll pay for it." His voice croaked out, unable to lift his eyes to meet your horrified gaze. "I just--"

"Oh, god! Miggy!" You breathed, reaching out, taking a step towards him, only to wince and hiss when the pieces of broken mirror stabbed the soft, delicate soles of your feet.

You gritted your teeth as the glass crunched, but you grabbed Miguel.

Instantly it was like a switch flipped inside of him, Miguel's head snapped up and he looked down at you, seeing the bloody footprints you now left on your tile.

He looked terrified at what he was seeing. How you just ignored the shards in your body in favor of frantically digging around one of the cabinets for your first aid kit.

"Bebita... I..." Miguel choked out.

When you found it, you killed the shower and stepped into the glass once again, pulling him into your room, and onto your bed, your feet leaving bloody prints as you walked, like macabre rose petals being left in your wake. Miguel had a large enough stride that he was careful to avoid getting any in his feet, but the smell of your blood permeated the air, it made him sick to his stomach. Not with disgust.

With guilt.

Of course, you checked him over first, plucking out the shards of glass from his knuckles and cleaning the cuts out with wound wash, ignoring the blood welling up onto the tile floor of your bedroom from.

You carefully roll his hand as you try to wrap the gauze around his knuckles. "Miggy, can you hold your--"

"I'm sorry." He interrupts.

You looked up at him, and only then do you see his face. Framed in his wet curls, his face was shadowed and haunted, his eyes dark and as tumultuous in a maelstrom of anxiety and fear.

You bring your hand to his cheek, caressing one of his sharp cheekbones with your thumb. "Baby, it's okay. It's just a mirror, I can--"

He shook his head, as if your touch to his face burned him like a hot iron.

He leaned over, grabbing your legs and pulling your feet into his lap so he can assess the damage, and return the favor of cleaning and dressing them.

"You're hurt because of me." He whispered sadly, dabbing the blood away.

"I'm hurt because of the glass, honey." You tell him gently, letting him apply the "honey" to the cuts in your feet, sealing them.

His massive hands encapsulated your ankles, his thumbs rubbing small circles as the rough pads caressed your skin. Like you were made of the delicate gossamer of a butterfly's wing.

He sits like that, not meeting your eyes. And god, did that hurt you so badly. You knew how important eye contact was with Miguel, he almost always went out of his way to keep eye contact when he was conversing with someone. Having him avoid your eyes... hurt.

Because you knew he was hurting.

"Miggy." You breathed. "Talk to me."

You move your feet from his lap and scoot closer to him, moving your face until he locked eyes with you again, and you could see the pain and the tears fill his own as he looked at you; his full, pouty lips trembling in an effort to hold his emotions at bay.

His shoulders dropped low, and Miguel leans forward until he was practically bent in half, clinging to you, burying his face in your chest as he fisted your shirt in his hands.

You rubbed his shoulder with one hand, biting your lip as he softly cried into your blouse, your other hand combing through his messy wet hair.

You stayed like that, for what felt like hours. You weren't sure how long it was exactly, with the blackout curtains drawn and the lights off. The only light that dimly illuminated the room was from your bathroom, and the open door.

He finally calmed enough to speak, to explain why he shattered the mirror.

"...I look like him." Miguel said, his heart in his voice, his soul stripped down and naked with raw pain.

"Mig--"

"God, I look like him. That... that cabrón." He hissed, tugging your shirt in his fists.

"I look like that bastard that... that made me into this." The self-contempt in his voice broke your heart.

You kiss the top of his head, murmuring against him. "No, you don't, baby."

"Yes, I do!" He snapped, pulling himself away from you and throwing himself to his feet. He paced like an angry tiger in a cage, waiting to swat at whatever keeper dared enter his enclosure. He didn't notice that he was stepping into the sticky, dried blood trails you left.

"I have his--his face. His fucking face--" He said, gripping his hair in his hands, tugging as he started to hyperventilate. "My fucking nose, my fucking cheeks, my fucking lips--they're all him! I'm not allowed to be me, every time I look in the mirror I see him! I can't ever get away from him! He's a part of me, he always will be! I fucking look like him!"

You get to your feet, ignoring the throbbing in your soles as you dared to reach out, to touch the pacing tiger.

Your hands smooth up his back, gently, softly; then back down until they wrapped around his mid-section.

You feel him, how tense he is, how his muscles flex at your touch almost like he's bracing himself for some kind of blow that simply will never come from you.

You rest your cheek against his back, feeling how hot his skin was burning.

"Baby. You don't look like him. You aren't him, and you never will be." You whisper.

You plant kisses wherever you could reach, not letting him go, feeling his body shake with each shuddering breath as your soft lips made contact.

"More importantly, Tyler will never be you."

"I--"

You cut him off. "Listen to me... Did Tyler figure out multi-dimensional travel, build a strike force of super-powered people from across the multiverse? Does Tyler, almost every day, work to keep dozens--no, hundreds--of universes safe from monsters?"

He didn't answer.

"And did Tyler Stone protect your baby brother from your mother all these years?"

No answer.

"You are Miguel-goddamn-O'Hara." You tell him. "I love you, with trauma, quirks and all. I love your little scritch-scratches you make, the way your bottom lip pokes out when you pout, your crooked teeth when you smile. I love your ridiculously large body, I love how you hug me. I love the little snores you make when you fall asleep at your desk, how you crinkle your nose when you're about to sneeze.."

You feel his hands slowly rise to touch your arms where they're almost-locked around his larger frame.

"I love how sweet and gentle you are. I love hearing you curse to yourself when you shock yourself with your soldering gun... I love listening to you bicker with Lyla, or complain about one of the other Spiders bugging you." You place more kisses after each sentence; hoping each one plants a seed of love beneath his skin, to bloom into a garden that he can admire and love, not hate for the very skin he was born with out of illegitimacy and infidelity.

"Tyler Stone is not you. He never will be. He will never be as good as you." You sigh against his skin, feeling the goosebumps form in the cold of your room, now that the adrenaline of his anxiety was beginning to fade, and his body became aware of the water that was slowly drying and cooling his skin.

"I love you, Miguel O'Hara. You and no-one else. Don't ever think for a second that you don't have your own identity because of your genes."

He slowly turns in your grasp, looking down at you with raw, unclothed emotion as his hand touches your cheek.

"You're more than that. You're you, and I wouldn't have you any other way." You say, your tone set and jaw tight; every word you spoke carrying a hefty weight of seriousness and honesty.

He smiles, almost sadly as you feel the rough pads of his thumb against your cheek, the little talon there poking you but not breaking the skin.

"...I..." He said, his voice stiff as he swallows the lump in his throat.

"I really will pay for your mirror, you know."

You grin up at him and turn your face so you can kiss the palm of his hand.

"I know you will, Miggy."

"But I am curious... I felt like you were going to keep going with the affirmations." He said, raising an eyebrow slowly.

"Well, the last one..."

"The last one?" Miguel tilted his head down at you quizzically.

You grin at him again, your teeth showing and eyes creasing as you barely manage to reach around him, swatting his ass playfully.

"I also love the fact you have the nicest ass I've ever seen on a man."

He couldn't contain the snort that came out of him, and he reached up to cover his whole face with his other hand.

"Mierda..."

You giggle as you step around him, giving a playful swat to his ass once again as you walk by.

"C'mon, Miguel O'Hara. You got a broken mirror to clean up."

His shoulders lifted as he watched you, his eyes softer than you've ever seen as he smiled.

Yeah. You were right.

He was Miguel O'Hara.

And he was certainly going to pay you back for the smacks to his ass.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse

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