#I feel like this show is going to really dive in on the existentialism

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Every time I write Jax being a massive asshole in my fics I start to think “Am I going too far? Should I reel him back a little bit? I don’t think he’ll be this bad in the show” and then I see this from Goose herself

And I started going “Ok, now I’m thinking I gotta make him worse”

[koimethehorizon]

Amazing Digital Circus Theory: Gangle is an NPC

Sooo, I wasn’t expecting to talk about this show. I was perfectly content to just enjoy Digital Circus as is.

It’s a show that invites theories as to what exactly’s going on with the setting and characters, but I didn’t have much room to think too hard about it. Who’s Abel? Is Pomni really a human? Why is this VR game emulating an N64 game at the start? I like the show plenty, but it just wasn’t as interesting to go hard on any of those questions at the time.

But with this recent episode… a single, perhaps throwaway line got the brain nagging. And it’s kind of a bizarre one to waste hours analyzing.

Okay, so yeah, it’s a joke on submissive and breedable. (Don’t give them ideas) But try taking it at face value.

What does he mean by this? Sure, Jax is an asshole, and being a bullied kid is Gangle’s whole archetype… but what if it means a little more than that?

Gangle’s trapped for all eternity this asshole and she’s just letting him boss her around. Zooble can choose not to participate, so no one has to. Why does Gangle listen to Jax at all?

Let's entertain a thought: Is Gangle an NPC?

With Episode 2 bringing so much attention to the autonomy of NPCs, it seemed natural to start pointing fingers at characters being this or that. But this isn't just a random crackshot, I feel that there is a story to tell here.

Look back at Pomni’s “orientation” with the other humans. Ragatha, Zooble, and Jax ease her by saying that they’ve been trapped in this world for years and then bring attention to Kinger being the oldest.

But Gangle… she’s isolated from the peanut gallery, busy moping about the broken comedy mask instead.

Every character has been given some hints as to how they’ve been coping with the situation. Jax no longer empathizes with anything, Ragatha once had trouble adjusting but now tries to stay happy, Zooble picks and chooses her involvement, Kinger is the eldest and just exists for the hell of it, and Pomni is new to everything.

With Gangle, it’s a blank. No opinion, no hints of her human side, how long she’s been here, no thoughts on the games, nothing. She’s just Jax’s punching bag.

Even Kinger gets a potshot on Gangle in a rock-paper-scissors game…. and he likely forgot that she doesn’t have hands!

And that brings me to another detail. Doesn't Gangle look different from the others?

Unlike everyone else, Gangle's just a mask and a ribbon. No hands or legs, or just any limbs in general. She stands out as looking a bit simpler than the others.

Gangle's most interesting design trait is that she's based on comedy and tragedy masks. The ones used old Greek theater to dictate the emotions of their characters.

The first episode seems to imply that with a broken comedy mask, Gangle literally can’t stay happy. Hence why we see her sad most of the time. That's a strange limitation if Gangle's human mind is supposed to be completely intact, especially with how expressive the other characters can be.

It's not delved into too much but does Gangle actually rely on these masks to "feel" emotions?

The obvious hole is that Caine would’ve just killed her a while ago if she was an NPC, but he's not exactly omniscient.

He even admits that he has to kill them off because it’s possible for him to lose track.

Now normally I could just stop here, but I’m all about the grand statements. You know, the retroactive readings of an episode once you get a theory going. Why does Gangle being an NPC matter at all? How does Ep 2 change?

While deep diving, I realized that the thematic core of Episode 2 is Pomni and Jax’s approaches to surviving the Digital Circus.

In Pomni’s A plot, we see her connecting with Gummigoo, the NPC that Caine pitted their group against. After discovering him lamenting his new reality, she finds a strange comfort in being existentially lost together. Because in the end the NPCs and the humans are just as displaced and frightened in this meaningless world.

In Jax’s B plot, he forces Gangle to follow some insane orders. Sabotage the game to let the big chocolate turd monster destroy the Candy Kingdom. To Jax, he is the main character. Helping or displeasing this giant population of fake people doesn’t have any consequence for him, so why humor anyone but yourself?

A bit of a stretch, but what if Jax already knows Gangle is an NPC and is keeping it quiet as long as Gangle follows orders, hence the “submissive” comment? He’d be a way more unpleasant character with this reading, but it doesn’t seem off the cards with how he treats everyone anyway.

This dichotomy already plays out well within the episode, but when reframing it as Pomni and Gummigoo vs Jax and Gangle, the parallel is a lot more interesting.

Make an NPC an equal, they die. But keep an NPC under wraps as long as they continue to obey you… they live.

The episode ends with a grim conundrum that NPCs can’t be together with the humans, not because of their differences but because they're just... not allowed to be. But what if one already in the group, proving that they’re just as capable as the humans to play the games and grieve loved ones together?

PS. Despite knowing everyone else's name, I actually forgot Gangle's until I started finding evidence for this intrusive thought. Sorry Gangle.

PSS. I couldn't fit this anywhere, but Gangle's door frame doesn't work as evidence against the NPC theory, because even the mannequins have their own rooms in that hallway.

[ronearoundblindly]

i believe johnny needs some attention 🤭 A, B, C, & D?

Prompts from this dirty ask game, and the answer is my general impressions of canon Human Torch. Note at the end explains why it can't be my Johnny Storm AU in the works.

MINORS DNI. This is not for you, kiddos. Sorry.

A - Alone Time

He's not a man of finesse, that's for sure. Johnny doesn't consider or analyze anything long enough to know what his preferences are--

(unscented lotion and BBW porn)

--and he also isn't consistent. He's too young to need to think of a self-care routine and spends almost no time alone.

When not training, away on mission, or doing PR--a big job as the bad-boy of the astronaut program and the most charismatic of the Four,--he goes out a lot.

He feeds off the attention (and approval) of others, and therefore masturbation...does not fill that void.

B - Bondage

Johnny doesn't have that kind of forethought, and if Sue ever heard one fucking whiff of him restraining someone...she'd use magnetic fields to squish his testicles into oblivion.

If him being tied up is what gets him laid for the night, then strap that puppy down already! Only improvised stuff, though, like scarves, neckties, fuzzy cuffs, or whatever.

Johnny is a speed demon in every aspect of life. Bondage takes time, limits sex positions, slows him down (when moving others), and just...yeah, not appealing.

C - Crying

What type of crying we talking? If he's just met you, and suddenly, you're blubbering about how your boss treats you or some deep-seated family trauma, Johnny will jump out the window to get away.

Now, shedding tears because of how amazing his cock feels stretching you out and because he's the best fuck you've ever had...well, he can understand that. You go ahead and cry. The only soothing he'll be doing is to keep going.

Otherwise, he's got nothing.

No sweet words. No compulsion to talk about it. No intention of diving deeper and getting to know you.

Johnny is a one-trick pony in this department (sex); there's rarely a second hookup.

D - Dominance

His existence feels like a perpetual game. Johnny is always leveling up after a boss battle, and his life--his real life--amounts to nothing more than side quests.

Naturally, he's a take-whatever-he-wants and do-whomever-whenever-he-pleases type of guy. It's not dominance or submission.

He's amused when his bed partner shows some initiative or control, but he doesn't need them to. He is used to taking over, thinking on his feet, and finishing a job.

He's what we might call a 'practical dom.' He takes over out of necessity. If Johnny slowed down enough to really listen to and bond with someone, he'd have and existential crisis and fall apart.

That's why he's only alone when passed out drunk or exhausted. He won't survive self-reflection.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

A/N: I couldn't answer almost any of these using Johnny from Phantom Pleasure because that's ghost!Reader. Bondage? Of a ghost? Probably not. Crying? Eh, long story, but unlikely. Dominate a non-corporeal entity? Yeah, no. And, weirdly enough, being alone? When a ghost could be there but not visible? Oops! (Yes, reader gets to see Johnny's alone time routine in that tale. Teehee. It's the opening scene lol.)

[tragedycoded]

writeblr interview tag!

Thank you to loves @the-golden-comet and @sableglass for tagging me here and here. I need you know I made a serious effort not to be a sarcastic asshole as I answered these questions... four days ago. And then forgot to post them.

Let's ggo!

Short stories, novels, or poems? I published short stories in a previous life, but I suck at following prompts or instructions and have accepted my fate as a novelist.

What genre do you prefer reading? Horror. I'm in my post-cosmic horror era right now. Existential. Yeah. Although I don't write folk horror myself (I'm thinking Laird Barron, T. Kingfisher, Stephen Graham Jones) I do enjoy folk horror v much. Bonus points if the protagonists are middle-aged and it's not about how apartments/houses or children are scary. (No hate to domestic horror, I'm just not the target audience.)

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person? The first draft is me explaining the Situation to myself. If it happens to make even a tiny bit of sense, we're all lucky. Like, that almost never fucking happens. I didn't show Doom Metal Love Story to anyone until the third/fourth draft because any sense it makes came from me rambling at my roommate in the kitchen while high off my ass at ten in the morning last autumn.

I'm a rambler, baby~

What music do you listen to while writing? That depends! Most of the time it's the soundtrack of whatever video game I wish I were playing instead of working LOL. I've always been like this, it's not cute. Sometimes I rotate in a specific heavy metal album I've heard a million times if the vibes aren't right. If I'm really having a good day, it's '80s music.

Favorite books/movies? Yeah man I have some of those!

Favorite book is House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Yes I realize this is a corny and uninspired answer. This book whipped ass when it was published and it whipped ass when I reread it in 2014 and I'm willing to bet money it would whip ass if I reread it in [current year].

Favorite movie is Aliens. The second one. It's the perfect movie. I refuse to acknowledge any film in the series other than Alien and Aliens. Corporal Hicks and Newt are still alive, you sons of bitches.

Any current WIPs? Yes.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be? A hooded sweatshirt, jeans, no shoes unless I'm out in public. Then it's flip flops. Fingerless gloves if it's chilly and muh arthritis is acting up.

Create a character description of yourself: The smell of pot smoke and the clicking of keystrokes barely penetrates the unopened window. Occasionally, they step out onto the back deck to smoke a cigarette and simultaneously praise and complain about the sun. They might be in their forties. They might own a cat. No one can agree on their height or their gender or whether they actually exist. Can only be contacted through instant message or email. Might be a ghost.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing? Hell, no LMAO. When I realize I've done it accidentally, I feel like I just got read by a therapist.

Are you kill happy with your characters? I may have killed all three main characters in DMLS multiple times, killed Khalid (from A Living Machine) when he was 12, in front of everybody, and I may intend to kill every character who appears in The Cave Dive, but...

... yeah OK there's something wrong with me.

Coffee or Tea while writing? Coffee all day every day.

Slow or fast writer? I type like someone is threatening to tickle my feet if I stop.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from? Uhhhhhhhh...

"OK yeah like that initial idea would be cool and all but make it worse."

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche: This author comes from the land of "all cliches suck and should be avoided like the plague."

Least favorite cliche: Like the plague.

Favorite scene to write? Fight scenes. If I can't write a fight scene, let me write a fuck scene.

... why do I not write hockey romances, again?

Reason for writing? I've tried all other legitimate forms of occupation. This is the only one that rewards me for my ability to make shit up and type 40 wpm in first draft mode.

Tag! Usual apologizes for double-tagging go here, Jamie is silly.

@lychhiker-writes @cowboybrunch @finickyfelix @saturnine-saturneight

@ashfordlabs @autism-purgatory @noblebs @aintgonnatakethis

@the-golden-comet @asablehart @mauvecatfic @leahnardo-da-veggie

@sableglass @gioiaalbanoart @words-after-midnight

@lavender-bloom @jev-urisk @wyked-ao3

[busyxfangirling]

The second season is honestly becoming increasingly harder to watch because what are they trying to do?

The show is titled Loki but he feels like a side character is his own show, I know many MANY things are happening but literally Loki is not the central figure driving the story.

My expectations were low but I did not know Disney could do this much worse!!!!

What the FUCK was episode 3 with the Miss Minutes thing and weird little Ravonna/Victor attempt???

Marvel is just getting worse and worse with what they're putting out, I want the character or even narrative driven stories back where people were well fleshed out, had consistency and their actions made sense to who there were!!! This feels like just trying to sell shock value because you know you have a base of consumers who will stay to see what happens to their favourite character.

They are absolutely ignoring all the material they have available to them to work with! This Loki has only experienced things till the Avengers movie, there is so much character deep dive they could do! What is the point of giving them their own show and then not talking about them at all??

I'll come to the queer things later cause boy do I have a list for that, but first of all, Loki is not a new character in any capacity??? He has been loved and is arguably the biggest fan favourite since his introduction, the amount of theories about him and what people would like to see is very well known!! Right in front of them is his still unclear feelings in his adoption, about being a Jotun, loosing his family and the complicated relationships with them. I can see they are acknowledging his God of Mischief status a little bit but!! Trickster!! Let us see him be a wild card properly!! Not in the sense of betraying his new TVA family - that's what it is and you can fight me on that- but being chaotic!! Yes, using his magic like with Brad!! SHOW ME HE IS A GOD!!!

The worst thing is how lost everyone feels, like I'm not talking about the whole free will conundrum everyone is going through, that is spectacular! Unfortunately it is not coming across, we literally don't get to hear any of the characters talk about what they think of it. There was the key lime pie moment but no follow up to what that is for Loki? It's just one crisis after another, maybe rehash some of what has already happened, bring back the seriousness of this!! The entire multiverse is at stake but we'll make it look like whimsical wishy-washy stuff??!??!!!

Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING the time travel aspect of it, where it looks like Loki/Mobius are on cute dates. But then make it real, the fucking queerbaiting is ridiculous. The throw-away comment in season one about looking being bi was just that and nothing else. And I'm not saying this cause aww they look cute together! But also cause the development of their relationship has been as such!! They have been very dependent on each other and that's not being addressed at all.

I know there are multiple posts about a possible betrayal and my fear is that they're going to try to use that to basically change everything about the characters again, a lot of OOC based on the fact that oh yeah they're going through an existential crises so it makes sense.

Sylkie made barely any sense to me even apart from the whole selfcest issue- they just imposed a the structure of what a straight relationship should be where there was barely any chemistry. S1 E3 had them as really good chaotic siblings/twins and then adding the romantic tones to that really ruined it. Trying to bring it back, possibly, is just weird cause so far they want very different things. These people just don't align together, stop forcing them to? The fact that they refuse to even talk about that kiss shows that they are keeping it open and not just acknowledging that "hey, we don't want the same things in life and I'm happy for you, you matter a lot to me but a romantic relationship is not happening. Also cause you know, we're the same person, lol."

Sylvie as a character is also very confusing rn, there is honestly no need for her to keep coming back in this way??? I'm going to reserve further opinions because half the season is left but I dont expect anything to really get better.

[shrimplymoray]

This is... Very much self-indulgent and for my own comfort right now. So, excuse anything that may be off, or a bit OOC. TW: Apathy crisis, existential crisis.

Cronus Ampora x Reader - Apathy

Cronus was never the smartest fish in the sea when dealing with people, especially when it is other's feelings. He may seem like the emotional type of guy (he has cried multiple times for human love songs), but dealing with others is way out of his league. He - and the rest of the Beforus trolls for that matter - keep wondering how he managed to actually score one. He was used to shooting his shot at others and missing by well over a mile, so his oh-so-not-smooth flirts actually hitting a soft spot for you made him lose his composure, and get fidgety. An adorable view, truly. Though in past times his bluntness and lack of emotional knowledge never affected you, it seemed as though fate had other plans. Apathy. Something all 13 of you have become used, almost acquaintances to. Sadly, being used does not mean it is easy to deal with. Some of you, like Meulin and Rufioh, have mastered the art of surrounding yourself with others to get better. Latula and Porrim tend to dive into hobbies to lessen the effects. You? Oh... Even after what seemed like thousands of years, it is a mystery what actually helps you. That is why, this time, Cronus went too far for you. It was simple, you were faking till you got better, but he ran his mouth too much. "Heyy~ hot stuff, are ya mad at somefin? Did'ya stub yer toes? Ya so dry it shorelly must'vwe been somefin goin' on." A pause, and an answer "I don't know what you're talking about Cro." "Huh? C'mon, bae~ Lemme guess... Meenah talked shit 'bout yer hair?" "Is... there something with my hair?" "wvah- NONONO! No it, uh, it looks as great as ya! Like alwvays, I just, uh, y'knowv howv she can get, haha!" You knew he was not trying to make you mad, yet... He didn't seem charming when being a dork, this time. Your pause, the look in your void white eyes that stared at his, and your look at the distance. That showed him something really was up. And also that he fucked up big time by running his mouth today. "Hey... Hey, look at me." "What?" "Y'knowv ya can trust me, right? Ya been here for me, wvhat good of a matesprit wvould I be if I didn't do the same?" ... "It's the... the thing, again. This stupid thinkpan of mine can't seem to co-work with my bloodpumper. It's like... Y'know how, like, sometimes the reality hits us? that... that we are gonna be here, forever. We will never grow old, travel the world, or... or have a life, again. We are stuck in the bubbles, and we don't have a future ahead of us anymore. Any... certainty we had once, from the moment our session ended, it will never occur, like, ever again." "Wvoah..." It took a while, the two of you staring at the abyss, on the edge of the dreambubble you two have been sitting on, a special place for you, as this is one of your bubbles. No one said anything. You couldn't feel uncomfortable, at that moment. The lack of emotions took a deep toll on you, but you instinctively looked at Cronus. When he looked at you, however, he didn't seem worried. Or afraid. He took his goofy fake 'human' cigarette put it on the corner of his mouth, and gave you his side grin. Not the smug one, the one he puts whenever he is really confident about what he is going to say. "I mean, ya not wvrong, by any means but... heh... Do ya think it is bad? I mean, hey! Wve are gonna be all here forevwer, so that means wve can at least, like, be together for eternity or wvathevwer. I used to be pretty damn bad wvith these apathy shellnanigans but... I'm not really that afraid anemonemore. I havwe the best fuckin' matesprit in the wvhole 'bubbles and, like, I'm pretty damn shore I can live the rest of a boring eternity if I havwe ya to make it interestin'!" As you two stared to the far, far void of nothing, outside the bubble, you instinctively reached a hand on top of his, which, as always, sent his face into a violet blush mess, and managed to drag a smile and chuckle out of you. "Can't complain with that, really."

[saelterlude]

Gushing About Zhu Hanbin and Jing Yanqiao in The City of Musicals S2

The City of Musicals (S2, at least) is kinda like The Voice. 24 musical actors, 3 troupes, covering musical numbers, elimination every episode. Season 2 focuses on young/fresh talents.

I was on a Zhu Hanbin(LG musical actor) binge and got really into this show once I found out his frequent CXS counterpart, Jing Yanqiao, is there as well. Now seems like the right time to make this post since JYQ's birthday is soon (April 13th!) and everyone barely knows him so, to begin here's a cute interaction they had on weibo after what I can only assume is a Link Click rehearsal.

You can access the full episodes here. But I'm going to discuss and link each performances under the cut.

Oh yeah, before I start. I have notes of the context of some performances (not including them bcs I only researched some and not all), so if you like any of them and would like to dive deeper or just wants the context in general just ask and I'll share what I have. (That said, the 10th is Ied so I might be busy and took a while to answer)

Scouting stage (Ep.1-2)

They are sorted into groups of three and perform together as the same character.

For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen

Performed by Sun Tiecheng, Zhu Hanbin, and Wang Haoran. I love ZHB's expression in this performance, it's very innocent and hopeful but also with a hint of hurt? It fits the vibe of the song. It's a really nice, soft and hopeful performance. ZHB's expression really paid off since he got scouted into 2 troupes. Funfact, ZHB and Wang Haoran are classmates lol, they didn't know the other auditioned on this show before they got sorted together. Their third teammate felt very awkward lol.

Dans Le Noir Je Vois Rouge from Le Rouge et Le Noir

Roughly translated to "In the dark, I see red" performed by Alladin, Jing Yangqiao and Tian Ye. It's very good, dark and angry vibes. It's from a French rock musical so yea I really like it. I know I wanted to highlight JYQ but the original rap that Tian Ye (right) arranged is definitely the best part of this performance. The three of them worked really well together. Also, Jing Yanqiao was asked if he felt pressured performing with his seniors (he's still in school) and he answered yes, but most importantly he was intimidated by their heights. so cute lmao. Don't worry JYQ, you're still taller than ZHB. This is also 1 of the only 2 groups where all three performers get scouted.

Sidenote: I found the original song and I've been translating it to practice my French lol. In fact, I found a recording of the whole original musical.

Round 1 (Ep.3-4)

Each troupe prepares 2 Duo performance and 1 solo performance.

No Longer Human from No Longer Human

Performed by Sun Sankai and Zhu Hanbin. Yes, as in the Osamu Dazai novel. ZHB played Yezang (Oba Yozo) the protagonist of the novel and Sun Sankai played Osamu Dazai the author. So this is an existential conversation between author and his character. That's probably why this set design is creepy, but in a good way! An amazing duet, very powerful vocals from both of them, a very nice listen. But damn those hands are wobbly and every time I watch them climb up it, I worry if its gonna fall. Also, camerawork feels like something out of a 2nd Gen K-pop music show lol. And ZHB is barefoot for some reason... If I caught it properly it's bcs he's scared of falling off the hand? I need to double check but understandable.

Therapy from Tick, Tick..., Boom!

Performed by Jing Yangqiao and Feng Difei I couldn't find the cut version of this performance so you would have to do with the timestamped link of the full episode. This is such an adorable and fun performance. I love the cutee original phoneline choreography they have and how their voices work together. Also, JYQ and Feng Difei playing couples and going on a date bcs the coach tells them it would help their chemistry. Why are they lowkey kinda cute though. The post-performance interview of this reads like a blind date interview istg. The interview keep asking questions like what JYQ got her for her BDay and if they have made each other mad like the characters in the musical, etc.

Round 2 (Ep.5-6)

There are 2 troupe duo performances, and 2 cross-troupe trio performances.

The Other Side from The Greatest Showman

Performed by Sun Sankai and Zhu Hanbin. This one is so good, soooo good. I already liked the song before but their voices fit this song really well. Then you get to see, ZHB can dance y'all. I like how energetic this performance is, they really ran around the stage and walk across the table. Special mention to Sun Sankai who practiced that hat kicking trick to perfection, he got to a streak of 100 successes during practice. And to the bartender too, I love his expressions.

In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia

Performed by Jing Yangqiao and Feng Difei Yes, it's these two again, playing a couple again lol. Yes, they also went on a date again to prepare for this performance. (In fact, they're paired in a new musical "Love Myth" airing next month) Truly giving off a romantic, magical, and almost fairy tale-like feels. I love how sweet it is. The mini-them also did a good job with their performance. Fun fact about this one, JYQ played in Anastasia musical before this show and is still currently playing in Anastasia, both as Dmitri, just like he did in this performance.

It's Not Me It's You from uhh pretty sure it's an original rap based on disney villains. So it's from Disney, I guess.

Performed by Jing Yanqiao, Zhao Qianlong, and Zhou Mohan. I can't take this performance seriously, not with those outfits LMAO. JYQ as Gaston looking like Winnie the Pooh instead, I can't. That said, the rap is really good, I like the flow, I like the beat, it's great. I jusst, those outfits lmao. Even JYQ posted on his weibo how the outfit simply wasn't it. I can add the photo he took in the rb but pls just watch the performance.

Round 3 (Ep.7-8)

Each troupe prepares 2 duo performances again.

Disappear from Dear Evan Hansen

Performed by Jing Yanqiao and Zhu Hanbin. Yes, they both performed together in this one! I couldn't find the cut version again, sorry. IDK why, maybe it's copyright? For now, timestamped link. I can't explain why, I really like this performance and I really like their dynamic. Their voices also goes nice together but I know that already from watching them together in the LC musical. So yea, this is good. Though, ZHB being projected as JYQ/Evan's hallucination of Connor is kinda goofy looking. Also, so far ZHB has been kind of type-casted as the innocent boy or bright-eyed young man in need of guidance type so to see him playing a more aggressive/leading character (though not by much) is nice.

(JYQ doesn't have that problem, literally he was scouted by the troupe bcs they feel 'he's young and thus can be molded into anything'. ZHB did have to help him perfect the anxious boy act for this performance.)

Quarterfinals (Ep.9)

A trio performance from each troupe, along with a single cross-troupe performance.

Believe in Miracles from Ultraman (yes, the superhero show)

Performed by Sun Sankai, Zhu Hanbin, and Jing Yangqiao. Original skit. Both JYQ and ZHB act as students to Sun Sankai's teacher. The song sounds vaguely familiar to me, maybe that's why I like it so much. It's very fun, rock vibes. JYQ intentional voice crack in the beginning cracks me up. It's a very energetic song too, makes me want to pick up a guitar and jam along. (No, IDK how to play the guitar beyond the basics lol). It honestly looks like they were an idol group or something. (LC Idol AU anyone?)

Goodbye Cassini from Cassini

Performed by Zhao Qianlong, Zhu Hanbin, and Tian. I'll be honest, not a big fan of the skit, it is better enjoyed as just a goodbye song to a beloved space probe, but I am a huge fan of the song (Original ver. here with subbed lyrics, it a got more opera? vibe to it. both ver. are very good though.). I've been randomly humming 'Goodbye, my Cassini~' for days. I am so tempted to make a fic based on this song. Tian (the girl) really carried this performance with her angelic vocals, it's so great and heartbreaking. Her heartbreak at having to leave her friends behind and knowing full well they're never going to meet again. If you're watching this one, I highly recommend you wear your headphones. Trust me, it will cleanse your ears. And if you want to skip straight to the song? 5 minute mark.

Semifinals and Finals (Ep.10)

The semifinals are duo performances of an original musical number. The finals are a solo performance from the top 2. They are available on spotify and youtube music.

The Greatest Show from The Greatest Showman

Performed by the top 4 contestants: Zhu Hanbin, Miao Mengqing, Jing Yanqiao, and Zhou Mohan. I don't have a lot to say about this one. Really nice performance, a bonus to a great episode. Yeaay, both of our LC boys got into the top 4!

Assassin

Performed by Jing Yanqiao and Miao Mengqing To be honest, not the biggest fan but maybe that's just me not being a fan of historical drama in any form. JYQ used a fake facial hair, so that's something too I guess. That said, it's pretty nice to listen to and the dance/sword fight choreography is really cool. (Though as someone who used to do choreographed fights, I feel kinda dissapointed it's more sworddance rather than swordfight.) Miao Mengqing's voice is really powerful, just listen to her. Unfortunately JYQ was eliminated here, but he reached the top 4! I'm proud of him. He also learned the choreo and to play the uhhh (it's 1am, lookup instrument nme later) in only a week. So that's cool.

Don't Believe him

Performed by Zhu Hanbin and Zhou Mohan. This one I highly recommend. This song is an emotional banger and I've been listening to this on loop for days. The choreo and staging is good too, although there's one part that I think is a bit goofy (thankfully it's not too distracting). The fight/struggle choreo they did here have more power than Assassin so I really like it. Really cool, makes you wanna punch a bully, I love it. ZHB played a bullied kid and Zhou Mohan plays ZHB's 'perfect' dream self who wants to keep him in this dream world and away from the hurtful reality. This song (as well as Assassin) is available on spotify and yt music, but the live version is 10x better because it captures the emotion better. You can hear ZHB's desperation and sadness as well as Zhou Mohan's anger and frustration, it's great.

Lonely Mountaintop from The Devotion of Suspect X

Performed by Zhu Hanbin. It's good, I enjoy it. Though as a final song I do kinda wish he picked a song with more power? IDK. It's still good though, it's emotional, I love the build up, the set design is pretty, and the song fit his voice really well. ZHB won 2nd place with this song. Congrats on your hard work!

Miao Mengqing won first place and honestly? She deserved it, she's so good. But this post is focusing on our LC actors ZHB and JYQ so uhh. Please watch her final performance singing "I Have Nothing" here, it's so great, she's great, I love her voice so much.

Fun fact, JYQ did not vote for ZHB in the finals lol, he did it right in front of ZHB too and I'm pretty sure at that point they were already announced as cast in the LC musical. (Sorry ZHB, but I too would vote for Miao Mengqing there)

Last bonus (which I'm not gonna link) before we end this post. In the 3rd episode, around 20minutes in Zhu Hanbin and Jing Yanqiao did an advertisement for their water sponsor together and they're very awkward, it's funny to me.

[ineffably-human]

Today in 'Shadows things hundreds of people have decided are true that I really don't understand at all,' we have... [spins wheel]

'Nandor's seasons-long burning desire to become human' - everyone here knows what a cult is, right?

Like at its most cliche, we understand how cult leaders work in fiction, at least? They say 'hey, dude, you seem very lost and in despair. Good thing I know a secret key to Paradise nobody else does, and I alone am equipped to get you there, and also I understand you better than anyone else in the outside world ever will.'

Nandor came to Jan in an existential crisis with no idea of what would help him, and left convinced that becoming human would do the trick. (This is because Jan is good at her evil job.) He dove into that belief because he was diving into a cult and that's what they do. He felt that vampirism was a curse because he was in the middle of a huge emotional crisis, and his new way out of that crisis was telling him vampirism is a bad thing that is causing his problems (instead of loneliness, a poorly fitting job, sudden changes in his close servant-friend, existential stuff humans go through as well...)

When he's out of that crisis, he never mentions becoming human again. He never mentions feeling cursed by vampirism again. In fact: he visits his homeland where everyone else became vampires, and decides that if everyone else is a vampire there's nothing special about being a vampire. (Read: in normal circumstances, with the chance to feed his ego, he feels special being a vampire.) In fact: when given fifty-two wishes that we see him use on his body multiple times, he doesn't use them to be human, or to do any human things.

I can see why, in the throes of S3, you could pin some of his backstory onto the Jan thing and see it as Nandor resenting being turned. Nandor is the one who lost more than he gained being a vampire, in terms of his glory days etc. We know nothing about how it happened or if he wanted it. The first time he tells it, all his wives left him because he suddenly changed into this dangerous unpredictable monster.

But the second time we hear it, in s4, it's implied that when he became a vampire he suddenly abandoned them all? (It's pretty vague tbh.) Also it's made extremely clear he was a terrible husband to start with. If the thing with razing Antipaxos doesn't tell you enough, his behavior in s4 seals it in: the peak of Nandor's human life was as a violent, insecure bully, who took everything he even imagined he wanted and never slowed down enough to understand how empty he felt.

Being a vampire gave Nandor time and space to think about parts of life he'd never have considered when he was alive. The losses he felt allowed him to be more patient and more sober. He enjoys fighting and violence now, but he seems to think about honor and mercy just as much. You could argue that Nandor's main personal arc - his 'I'm okay, you're okay' if you will - is accepting the person he is now over the person he used to be. Think of how much more natural his leadership was this season rallying the vampires in a crisis, instead of the forced protocols and rituals of the earlier seasons.

I don't think that someone with one foot in a world that literally doesn't exist anymore, who has trouble talking to most people outside the house and loves to watch familiars fight to the death, would be happy as a human. I think he'd work a day or get a single summer cold, and beg Laszlo to turn him again, actually.

(I don't think he and Guillermo would have a great relationship if they were both human, either - these are people who bond over knight-vassal courtly love vibes and trying to kill each other. What can life as a mortal couple possibly offer to fulfill them?)

But all of that is speculation. Here's what isn't: Nandor wants to be a human for a single episode of the show. It is not a richly established part of his character. If we're talking pure facts, it's a thing that happened that one time, and has never been spoken of again.

[garoumylove]

I know there will be several talented people doing write ups on this but I just want to add my own two cents as well because this got me emotional.

The reason I write Garou fanfics so much is because I find his psyche absolutely fascinating and close to my heart. He presents with such anger and sassy cockiness while dealing with so much inner turmoil. And most of the time we don't get to see that inner turmoil but every once in a while ONE/Murata will lift that veil through one panel or a piece of dialogue and we get a glimpse of the troubled young man and all those painful feelings inside. And it's that pain, inner conflict, the vulnerability he guards so closely that I love to explore and that makes me fall for him over and over again.

This panel is one of those. As I've mentioned a while ago, I'm not a fan of the way Garou has been characterised in the manga since he reappeared on the surface at the end of the MA arc and especially not a fan of his characterisation post MA arc. This, however, is the Garou that I love. The troubled young man who pushes his way through life with a heady mix of bravado and stoicism. And then we get this.

"I'd love to show you how 'easy' it would be...' accompanied by a somewhat gruesome inverted panel with blood splatter. To me, this is the first time Garou is letting out his pain and frustration at his loss with Saitama. His ideology, while simplistic, got him through a tough childhood and adolescence. He clung to that goal and shed an exorbitant amount of blood and sweat over it only to discover it was never going to be. The loss of that would be gut wrenching. And finally here we get him giving us a glimpse of that raging pain. Of that vulnerability.

But what gets me even more is the next line "You worthless hunk of junk that can't even bleed or feel pain". This is one of the most obvious and clear times that Garou is coming face to face with his own pain. To me, it's like he's finally admitting that he is in pain. Not physical pain, but just this existential pain that he finds himself sometimes drowning in and doesn't know what to do with.

And then next panel he just goes right back to work with the older guys looking after him which I find so fucking sweet and adorable, telling the lad to put everything down and stop working.

At this point I see Garou starting to deal with all that backlog of pain and trauma. He is not in it all the time but he allows it to come to the surface, holding it, feeling it and then he goes back to this new low-key life. This isn't something he is going to process in one go. This will be an ongoing process. Diving head first into that chaos, those demons in his head, into everything that hurts and unravelling it a little at a time before swimming back to shore and going on with his life.

It's a process that I think is a lot more poignant and powerful than the happy-go-lucky de-fanged puppy characterisation we currently (but didn't used to) get in the manga. The Garou we get in the webcomic still has those fangs, but he lets himself be more than that little by little. One day, he will be at peace with who he really is and every time I think about it, I kinda want to tear up.

[moonjxsung]

one of the most gorgeously written works ive read in my life, followed by my personal favorites wtsl, wtrs and lost in translation. your story made me go through an entire roller coaster of emotions that i dont know how to explain and your words always get me in a grip where it feels like im genuinely living in the story. i just went through an almost 40 minute short period of my life where i just spent a fleeting moment in an alternate universe that was as if looking down into a puddle and seeing another blurry reflection of myself somewhere buried among the glittering stars scattered across the ink black canvas we call the night sky. written works always captivate me in such an emotional way where its as if im diving into a bottomless pool of murky water and once it swallows me whole, the more i struggle to go up for a breath of air, the more i sink below instead, caught in a whirlwind of the fictional world. sometimes i really do want to believe its an alternate reality somewhere among the universe because of how the words come to life so well. approximately two hundred thousand words within the english language and you put yours well together so specifically it makes me go through an existential crisis hoping one day i can have a fairy tale like this of my own so fleeting it shatters my heart to millions of broken glass pieces only to fix it back up again and hung in a museum for all to gaze upon. youre so eloquent with your words it leaves me in shock every time without missing. encompasses and carries me like a wind of crying autumn leaves spinning me into a whole new world; and this one, makes me dream of the village of shirakawa and its praying roofs, heavy snowfall pattering down above my head and enclosing me in, with the feeling of the body of a warm figure laying next to mine.

and finally, i am seriously profoundly in love with your writing for years to come until the day i die, where my body can decompose into the ground and turn into blooming flowers in spring, into roses and daisies and daffodils and lilies so beautiful it simply shows how heartfelt i was throughout my years, gazing at the puddle of my reflection in those hundreds of alternate universes. and i wish you luck as you hopefully hang up more of the glittering stars and constellations in the galaxy of my dreams, decorating my black canvas so i can pick them off the sky one at a time to look back on and go through the short period of my life where i can forget about everything and simply wash away in your words once again.

~《☘》

Ummm fully crying in bed before I go to sleep!!! I love you???? This was such a beautifully crafted piece of feedback and I’m so beyond happy I could help you escape to that little world for a few minutes 🥹🫶 your words and your kindness truly keep me going and I can’t believe I’m so lucky to have anons like you who are THIS amazing and THIS eloquent with their lovely feedback and grant me their valuable time. It’s not something I will ever take for granted as long as I’m on this app. You (and everyone else’s lovely feedback) have forever changed me and I believe there’s so much good in this world because people like you exist. There’s so much love to be felt and art to be shared and I have so much to say to you always!!! But I’ll keep it at I love you, and I hope you know there are no limitations when I speak of my admiration for you. You’re everything to me and more- always always always. Please don’t ever stop gracing my inbox with your lovely presence, it puts a smile on my face every time even if it’s just a short hello 🫶💓

[comrade-bucket]

good omens s2e2 thoughts

I want to scream about every episode of good omens as I watch it slowly, I wish I had a community around it but I don’t wanna poke around tumblr or anywhere for fear of spoilers and I like to savor shit (“you go too fast for me binge watchers!!”).

So hear ol void buddy take my screaming!!

Idk if I’ve ever made so many noises at a screen! I have a lot invested into this world to the point where everything is imbued with Benefit Of The Doubt Goodness, like it’s my child. I guess that’s what being a fan is like but also being a fan can mean being extremely disappointed so there’s that

I’m not disappointed I’m screaming! Okay episode 2. I love the buddy holly song and the gasp I made when Gabriel sings it. I loooove the little gay dorky conductor motion Aziraphale makes before singing it to people, I am obsessed with it, I’m chewing the walls.

Job!!!! I just read a fanfic that partially takes place during the book of Job, I haven’t dived HARD into the world of GO fanfic but I’ve read enough that take place in biblical times that make me go “huh wow the bible is this real thing full of very old and pervasive myths, oooo there were real people wandering the desert back in the day,” sense-of-awe type vibes. And then the show is doing that!!!!

I love a show that wrestles with this very big question that feels like it is playing out for me on some ancestral level, as a person (like many of us) descended from people who believed in God: “HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU EXIST AND BE SO CRUEL, HOW COULD I BELIEVE, FUCK YOU GOD FUCK YOU!!” lol maybe that’s not entirely a question. Hard not to giggle at it a little but it’s also like a pretty big thing to wrestle with?? (I’ll die on this hill but see: thor love and thunder - dumb little box office stories that actually are wrestling with that if you choose to go there)

Bible fanfic!!! It makes something in me itch in a good, I think, way

What else. Brain all over. There’s Jim ordering the books by the first letter of the first word, which is like the damn Spotify playlists that spelled out those words. GOD DAMMIT!!! Brain tickles!!! What does it meeaaaannn?? Should I start looking for acrostics everywhere, like in that weird headline about the ducks held by that rando in the pub who is going to be important prob?? What does it mean when you open your life to the unhingedness and magic of little synchronicities like that, of things vibrating with hidden meaning???

The angels not recognizing Gabriel is sooo good - me expecting a more typical “ha ha he tries to hide Gabriel, shenanigans ensue” - nope, he just answers the door, the angels don’t know him, Aziraphale (like us) is like “….okay what the fuck???” [unless it’s the miracle that’s hiding him, that’s possible]

There is something with identity and who are you if your appearance changes but you stay the same (the goats, Job’s children); who are you if your appearance stays the same but you are fundamentally different inside and/or nobody recognizes you and/or you have to pretend to be someone else (Gabriel/Jim, Job’s kids when they come back) (and then there’s Maggie and Nina actually being entirely new characters with the same face!) (and! on the opposite side, Beelzebub having a new face and the story is like “eh, new face, same guy”) - what is identity, what is a self??

And then identity is a theme for Aziraphale too right!! At the end of ep. 2 he’s like “what am I???”, it’s a whole existential crisis, (you feel for him so hard, because these actors are so fucking good??). He’s like I can’t possibly be an angel because I did these non-angelic, demonic things… and Crowley is like “🤷 you can still be an angel, more or less”…….. if you appear to be an angel then nobody has to know…… and what, really, is the difference

(“if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck”... and Crowley’s thing with ducks!)

Holy shit and that flows into undertones of things being a metaphor for being closeted?? Would love to untangle it more but that scene where Aziraphale eats the meat - 1) was SOOOOO fanficky (in the best way!!), I mean I’m puking, (Book of Job fanfic! Just an intimate encounter in the space between scenes); 2) was very easily some kind of stand in for, you know, temptations of the flesh, gay sex type thing. (I mean… did he have to eat the meat like that… did Crowley have to watch him like that... I mean… come on. Amazing.) (incidentally I think Michael sheen is playing Aziraphale even gayer this season mannerisms-wise and I just love it a lot!!) - so anyway, Aziraphale and Crowley’s whole thing being “we love each other, we know we love each other, but NO ONE CAN KNOW how much we love each other”… even to the point of hiding it from ourselves, lying to ourselves (cough Aziraphale)… that theme just feels so present!

Being closeted… you have this experience that is so pleasurable and full of love and can’t possibly be wrong (eating meat, befriending a demon)... and yet the highest powers are telling you it’s wrong, god says it’s wrong, that’s your entire identity, so who are you?? You just have to pretend… oh man it’s so sad pals!!!

I’m obsessed with this identity thing. I wonder if it’ll be important to the plot. Back to episode 1, Az & Jim: “I know someone who looks like you” “that’s probably me then! I think that’s one of the ways you can tell” - ha ha funny joke cute line, except wait, it is thematically resonating throughout everything, oops!!

ALSO getting caught in the rain and taking refuge under an awning and falling in love = it raining outside the garden of eden and Crowley shelters under Aziraphale’s wing…. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Okay those are some of my long chaotic thoughts, thanks for listening void!!!

[secretdestinypainter]

The Best New Book Releases Out of 2024:

In today's world where everyone is having different screenings and digital distractions, I feel like there is something great and truly magical about diving into a good book. Books have the power to transport us with the well of knowledge, introduce us to fascinating characters, and make us think about different imaginations that nothing else can do not even this digital media. I love reading books and exploring new characters based on interesting stories. Let me join you on a journey to the enchanting world of books, where we can learn and explore adventure, knowledge, and inspiration awaiting on every page.

When it comes to new releases, I’ve been loving the Black horror girlie surge that’s been part of the Horror Renaissance, the latest of which is Dead Girls Walking by Sami Ellis. It’s a YA slasher that follows a girl looking for her mother’s body at the summer camp that — get this — her serial killer father once owned. Supreme horror mess of the highest order.

Another new horror title, albeit an adult one, is Diavola by Jennifer Marie Thorne. Diavola also has some family drama going on, this time set against a haunted Italian villa during a vacation. Finally, there’s the conclusion to troubled, half-Native teen Jade Daniels’s Indian Lake saga in The Angel of Indian Lake by Stephen Graham Jones.

Stepping outside of horror, Like Happiness by Ursula Villarreal-Moura sees protagonist Tatum Vega getting her newfound peace upended when news breaks that a famous author — someone she dated years ago — has been accused of assault. And, from the author of The Enchanted — which I inhaled when it was first published years ago — comes Sleeping Giants, a tale of foster kids, abuse, and real-life monsters. Lastly, Worry by Alexandra Tanner, is a debut described as “a Seinfeldian novel of existentialism and sisterhood.”

In the featured books below, there’s an entry into a popular cozy mystery series, queer love across timelines, a reimagining of Icarus, and more.

The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties by Jesse Q. Sutanto

isSutanto stays with her foot on our necks with these new releases, phew. After last year’s über popular Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, she’s back with another cozy mystery, this time a continuation of her bestselling Aunties series. Here, Meddy Chan travels to Jakarta to spend the Chinese New Year with family. But then, a former fling of one of Meddy’s Aunties — affectionately known as Second Aunt — shows up trying to stunt with bougie gifts. Well, one of the gifts was actually meant for a business rival, and it being accidentally given to Meddy’s family sets her and her Aunties up to become mixed up in a decades-long feud between Jakarta’s business organizations. When things get really real — and Meddy and her family are put in harm’s way — it’s up to Meddy to save them all.

There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib

Hanif Abdurraqib is the National Book Award-nominated author of A Little Devil in America, and here he aims his poetic eye at basketball. With his usual mix of the personal and communal, he looks at one of America’s favorite sports, examining its history, who makes it and who doesn’t, and LeBron James.

How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristen Perrin

This is being compared to Knives Out, which makes it perfect for the fun-seeking cozy mystery reader. Almost 60 years ago, Frances was just a teenager at a fair with friends when a fortune-teller told her that someone would kill her. She spends the rest of her life trying to figure out her own future murderer. Then, one day, Annie is called to her great-aunt Frances’ huge country estate. She’s been murdered, and it’s up to Annie to figure out who did it. Good thing the dearly departed Frances kept detailed notes on potential suspects…

Icarus by K. Ancrum 

In this queer Icarus retelling, the titular character is an art thief, but one with a victim who kind of has it coming. Icarus only steals from the wealthy Mr. Black by replacing his priceless art with his father’s flawless forgeries as part of revenge for Icarus’ mother’s death. A strict set of rules keeps Icarus from being exposed, until he gets caught by Mr. Black’s son, Helios, one night. But the enigmatic Helios doesn’t turn him in — instead, he asks for Icarus’ friendship. This friendship turns into something more that threatens everything — even what Icarus and his father hold dear.

The Emperor and the Endless Palace by Justinian Huang

Across multiple timelines and lives, two men are reborn, each life proving to them the eternity of love: a young emperor gets seduced by a courtier in 4 BCE, an innkeeper helps a mysterious visitor in 1740, and a college student meets an intriguing stranger in modern-day L.A.

The Rise and Fall of the Second American Republic: Reconstruction, 1860-1920 by Manisha Sinha

Sinha gives us a new look at a pivotal moment in U.S. history: Reconstruction. Despite Reconstruction’s claim of granting true freedom to Black people after the Civil War, the country’s leaders proved to not be very concerned with equality after all. And, by looking at imperialist desires, northern labor conflict, women’s suffrage, and the Chinese Exclusion Act, Sinha shows how the failed promise of Reconstruction resulted in capitalism running amok and a special kind of race-based tyranny.

Blogs like these are immensely helpful for people who love to read different books which include their summary plots, characters, themes, and a major part of a story. If you want to have more synopsis regarding your favorite books you can schedule a book club event on tinyti.me website, where you can organize book discussions, meet and greet different authors, or get regular updates about upcoming book events or holidays.

[ohchosen]

GET TO KNOW THE WRITER - VAL EDITION !

what  made  you  pick  up  the  current  muse(s)  you  have?   i  first  played  ffxv  back  in  the  fall  of  2017  and  fell  head  over  heels  in  love  with  the  game.  to  this  day  i  don’t  think  there’s  ever  been  a  cast  of  characters  that’s  had  such  a  lasting  impact  on  me  as  the  boys  have,  and  at  this  point  ever  will.  i  actually  first  started  off  writing  prompto,  sometime  in  early  2018  and  shortly  thereafter  kind  of  fizzled  out  of  that  because  i  was  new  and  super  shy  and  didn’t  really  know  anyone  in  the  community.  i  was  around  18/19  then  and  actually  took  a  break  from  tumblr  for  a  little  while,  but  always  kept  in  touch  with  the  xv  community  on  twitter/instagram  so  the  love  i  had  never  went  away.  fast  forward  to  2020  and  after  replaying  the  game  i  decided  to  pick  up  noctis  who  at  that  point  had  been  my  end  all  comfort  character  for  a  few  years.  he very quickly became my little pincushion and then unintentionally a processing tool i used to process a lot of issues in my own life. i notice  a  lot  of  nuance  in  my  old  notes  and  ramblings  that  100%  reflect  my  struggles  at that  time and its like huh! wow! didnt know it did that. regardless, noctis is the muse i hold most dearly to my heart and someone i will love for the rest of my life. < he 3

is  there  anything  you  don’t  like  to  write?  ive  seen  it  all  brother.  i  can  be  convinced  with  one  skimmed  over  ao3  tag  and  then  some.  regardless,  i  don’t  have  any  hard  no’s  that  aren’t  the  incredibly  obvious,  and  i  think  rp  is  a  great  way  to  develop  and  analyze  your  likes  and  dislikes  in  a  safe  environment.  it’s  okay  to  be  into  something  in  one  thread  and  then  change  your  mind  later,  that’s  something  i  had  to  learn  the  long  way  but  i'm  better  off  for  it!

is  there  anything  you  really  enjoy  writing?  i  really  love  angst.  not  sure  what  happened  developmentally  to  get  here  but  we’re  here.  i  think  that  shows  a  lot  in  my  preferred  range  of  media  i  write  in  (or  just  consume  casually,)  there’s  just  a  certain….  je  ne  sai  quoi  🤌  in  writing  your  character  going  through  the  absolute  extremes  of  the  human  experience.  besides  that,  i  really  go  crazy  with  character  analysis/general  meta.  i  love  to  deep  dive  into  mundane  (or  otherwise)  aspects  of  a  character  and  build  up  traits  to  fully  flesh  out  a  muse. 

do  you  write  in  silence  or  do  you  play  music?  i  need  complete  silence  or  i  will  literally  never  finish  a  sentence.  i  am  way  too  scatterbrained  to  focus  on  two  things  at  once  and  need  to  lock  the  fuck  in  when  i’m  writing  a  reply. 

do  you  plan  your  replies  or  wing  them?  who  do  i  look  like  shakespeare.  i’ve  never  planned  out  a  thing  in  my  life  im  consistently  operating  strictly  off  vibes. 

do  you  enjoy  shipping?  im  a  dirty  little  shipping  whore. shipping is god's gift to the planet what else would i do if not daydream about my two little guys passionately kissing in a field of wheat.

what’s  your  alias/name?  val  :3  my  psn  tag  is  a  variant  of  valkyrie,  and  after  i  was  tired  of  my  old  alias  i  looked  there  for  inspiration.  say  thank  you  god  of  war  (2018)  for  shooting  me  into  another  norse  mythology  frenzy,  feels  just  like  middle  school. 

age  &  birthday?  my  golden  birthday  is  this  july  (25th)!!!  ((mild  existential  dread))

favorite  color?   green,  brown,  black  and  purple❗️

favorite  song?  recently  rediscovered  since  u  been  gone  by  kelly  clarkson.  having  daily  religious  experiences  for  it. 

last  movie  you  watched?  lord  i  have  no  idea.  i  don’t  watch  too  many  movies  and  the  last  one  i  can  place  is  catching  the  second  half  of  47  meters  down  when  i  was  having  dinner  with  my  dad  a  few  weeks  ago.  yay  sharks.  and  mandy  moore!!!!

last  show  you  watched?  i  love  a  good  netflix  documentary  and  i  just  finished  one  called  the  program:  cons,  cults  and  kidnapping,  which  was  about  exposing  the  troubled  teen  industry.  it’s  a  super  interesting  watch  but  deals  with  quite  a  few  heavy  topics  so  if  you’re  interested  please  heed  caution!   i  also  just  started  american  nightmare,  but  im  only  about  30-ish  minutes  into  the  first  episode….  gotta  lock  in. 

last  song  you  listened  to?  according  to  spotify  it  was  safari  song  by  greta  van  fleet  but  according  to  the  fortnite  festival  session  i  just  had  it  was  carry  on  my  wayward  son  by  kansas.  literal  war  flashbacks. 

favourite  food?   dude  there’s  this  fucking  sandwich  place  by  my  house  and  they  literally  make  the  best  chicken  sandwich  i’ve  ever  had.  imagine  grilled  chicken  on  a  brioche  bun  w  cheddar,  bacon,  a  corn  salsa  and  slathered  in  chili  aioli.  walk  with  me.  it  sounds  wack  but  it’s  SO  GOOD.  i  dream  about  her…

favorite  season?  i  love  winter  i  love  being  cold  and  tucked  into  my  electric  blanket  listening  to  the  rain  outside.  all  of  you  summertime  elitists  need  to  get  off  my  lawn. 

do  you  have  a  tumblr  best  friend?   i  have  my  gaggle  of  tumblr  friends  turned  irl  friends  in  my  pockets  at  all  time  and  i  wouldn’t  trade  any  of  them  for  the  world.  i  met  one  of  my  oldest  friends  in  ye  olde  supernatural  rp  back  in  2013?  and  over  ten  years  later  WE’RE  STILL  FUCKING  HERE.  so  many  of  the  most  important  people  in  my  life  i’ve  met  through  tumblr and the amount of shit we've seen through the rpc's we've been in has bonded us all for eternity lmfao.

tagged by: @13nth thank u tea my love :* tagging: my homies @sherez @tactition @liegacy + anyone who's interested :3

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Sometimes a Girl Needs a Firefly Fix. Was It Worth It?

Off the top: I do not endorse Whedon's behavior. Frankly, I'm not going to mention him at all in the rest of this post. I also don't endorse the "great man creator" myth. Lots of people were involved in making Firefly, and we can honor their contributions while holding that hard boundary against predatory and abusive behavior.

Sometimes a girl needs a Firefly fix. Growing up, my TV and movie access was pretty restricted, but never in my life did my parents say no to a book, so novelizations and spinoff novels were often how I first engaged with media and narratives (see my two and a half tubs of just Star Wars books). So when I was missing Firefly and couldn't access it, I dived into the books. My results were decidedly mixed.

I made the eminently logical decision to start with the first of the Firefly books, Big Damn Hero. I'm pretty confident that space western isn't common enough as a genre to have generic space western story issues, but honestly if you had changed all the names and take the Firefly branding off this book, it would have still been aggressively mediocre, just without the familiar characters that made me pick up the book in the first place.

Frankly, I don't have much at all to say about this book. It was fine. The plot was fine, if a bit on the generic side. The characters were fine, I didn't feel like anything contradicted the show. There was nothing particularly memorable about it, it was a fine way to kill a couple of hours on a rainy weekend afternoon.

Novelizations and tie-in novels, in my experience, can vary wildly in quality, so the violently mediocre first experience did not turn me off the Firefly novels in and of itself. I made sure to do a little more research before I picked up the next one, though. These books do technically have an order, but I went full chaos goblin mode and fully just ignored order. Instead, I looked at the focus characters and basic plots (spoilers were also not something I cared about, because c'mon).

I am an unabashed Mal and Inara shipper, and frankly the fact that Inara living with a terminal illness was deprioritized in the show (I know, there was a ton of drama with getting cancelled, this is an opinion and feeling, not a criticism) was wildly disappointing for me, so when I read the blurb for Life Signs, I had hope that we might actually get some Mal/Inara and some illness rep, which we just do not get enough of (massive shoutout to One for All for anyone who wants some incredible chronic illness rep that isn't John Green).

So, objectively, this book was better than Big Damn Hero. And with the benefit of hindsight, I would even call the book good. But if I'm being totally honest, when I was reading the book, I felt LIED TO. Inara shows up in the first two and last chapters, and the rest of the book is Zoe having an existential crisis about Mal's judgement and turning around a pulling another woman up behind her (which honestly I can get behind, Zoe is awesome). I was actually furious because Inara had basically zero agency or opinion about anything, and the framing wasn't Inara's voice and experience, it was Mal's man pain. Literally, the framing was patriarchal and infuriating.

The being lied to and shitty framing aside, the plot was intriguing and carried me through the book in one sitting (that was admittedly part rage as well, but the plot overall was solid), and the character work was solid. As long as you know what you're actually in for with this book, I think readers would genuinely enjoy it. I plan on giving it a second try once I've gotten some distance from the rage and the disappointment, but it definitely landed in the "this says it has illness rep but actually no, this is patriarchal man pain and the actual person experiencing the illness could be seamlessly swapped out for a table lamp without materially changing the story" category.

What Makes Us Mighty was my "third strike, you're out" book, and actually I was really impressed with this one. This felt more like Firefly than the other two books had, and there was some incredible work in it. The highlights include:

Mal going absolutely feral on a toxic, predatory rich guy

Jayne having some actual character growth and nuance beaten into his head

Simon Tam getting to do his doctoring thing

Zoe being an absolute QUEEN

The absolutely most horrifying SFF weapon I have ever read (this is a disputable claim, but even if you're not putting it at the top of the horrifying weapon list, it PLACES)

The Sereneity crew doing what has to be done with compassion and mercy and absolutely making me sob while reading

This book single-handedly redeemed my Firefly novel experience, and honestly I would actively recommend this one to Firefly fans. Not so much Big Damn Hero, and maybe not Life Signs (would depend on the reader), but hell yes, read What Makes Us Mighty.

[eoieopda]

re soft asks: actually...... what if i said "all of them." how unhinged would that be (do it)

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions..... i did this to @moni-logues last week and — uhhhh — i guess i deserve this, lmao.

buckle up, kids.

1, 2, and 3 were just answered here.

4. what flower would you like to be given?

i love, love, love, hydrangeas. idk if that yoongi drabble made that clear, lol.

5. who do you feel most you around?

my older sister and my best friend, IRL. if we're talking internet, @jihopesjoint has proven to be my actual clone in all respects, which is both spooky and incredible. we're like the lindseys lohan from the parent trap except instead of camp, it was tumblr.

6 was answered here.

7. what color brings you peace?

hmmmmmmmm. lilac or mint green. also really deep forest green.

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

i already tagged nicki but ope here she is again: @jihopesjoint. also YOU, @sailoryooons, @here2bbtstrash (though idk if m will see this,) @luaspersona. this is not an exhaustive list!

9. what calms you down?

i don't know if i've ever actually felt truly calm in my entire life?? but the closet i get is driving around with the windows down, listening to music, and drinking a silly little coffee.

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

well, i moved to a new state yesterday and start a new job on monday, so.... a new chapter. the previous one was v ouchie and i'm excited to put down the baggage i've been shouldering.

11. what’s your ideal date?

be honest — is this you asking me out? jk..... unless 👀 (no, i'm kidding.) i never don't want to go to a dive bar, listen to a band, be bad at pool, and laugh until my stomach hurts!!

12 was answered here.

13. what’s your comfort food?

this is so embarrassing and really snitches on my depressive habits, but lately, smuckers uncrustables have been sustaining my whole life. specifically, the strawberry ones. tell me you're struggling without telling me you're struggling!!!!

14. favorite feel-good show?

new girl and schitt's creek are always the first ones i think of when i need to turn my brain off and laugh!

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

you didn't give me any, so i'm just gonna yeet right past this one.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

this is gonna sound so dumb because i don't know you in the literal, physical sense, but i'm so fucking proud of you??? i know the gauntlet you're currently going through and it warms my old, dead heart to see that you're not only surviving it, but doing (what looks to be) a really incredible job at holding onto you — your interests, your joy, your hobbies. i wasn't super successful at that. it's hard as fuck, but you're doing the damn thing.

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

HALLOWEEN LIGHTS. LIL LIGHT-UP PUMPKINS. next question.

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes, binch! all i have atm is a gigantic raccoon squishmallow that my sister gave me when my life exploded last year and i cling to that shit, lol.

19. most important thing in your life?

my family. my siblings, my parents, my nephews, my dog, and my best friend.

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

the first thing that came to mind is taco bell because i've been craving it for days. but uhhhhh, if we're getting existential here, i want whatever is the emotional equivalent of a deep breath.

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

all you can do is love him hard and let him go.

22. what would you say to your future self?

drink water. seriously, get up and get a glass of water. right now. how are you even alive? lmao.

23. favorite piece of clothing?

an old, beat-up denim jacket that used to be my mom's! she wore it when my parents brought me over from korea, once my adoption was finalized.

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

🏃🏻‍♀️ run, beautiful, run, yeah, you gotta run 🏃🏻‍♀️

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

you could give me a pen cap that you chewed on and i'd still be like, omfg, you made this? for me?

but fr, i'm a sentimental bitch, so anything along the lines of "i saw/heard this and thought of you/this thing we did," etc.

26. what movie would you want to live in?

oooh, idk! is it weird if i say the craft, given what happens? i just really wanna be a witch with a bunch of other baddies.

27. which character would you want to be?

....from the movie in 25? or generally? because i'd want to be baby yoda, thottin' and boppin' around with pedro pascal, drinkin my lil drink, and being baby.

28 was answered here.

29. morning, afternoon or night?

morning! i'm an up-and-at-em kinda fella. love having a whole day ahead of me, love a breakfast sandwich, love a sunrise.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

bon fires, maple syrup, people singing while they cook/work/whatever, getting zooted and then over-competitive while playing egyptian rat screw, being hugged for a laughably long time.

[tuiyla]

Buffy s3 quick thoughts

Alright I simply must write out Buffy s3 thoughts before we go any further. Up to 3x08 right now.

The double Slayer of it all

This is something I for sure wanna do another post about and who knows how my feelings for about Faith evolve but I just wanna note that the double Slayer thing is super interesting and thus far they're not doing enough with the concept. Sure, Kendra and Faith are both foils to Buffy and they form a spectrum where Kendra was more reserved and organized but also more mechanical and less her own person than Buffy. And Faith is wilder, a loner, troubled kid who's overall more willing to dive in head first and embrace darker aspects which is dangerous no matter how cool she looks doing it. Compared to just one of them, Buffy might seem inadequate from certain aspects but compared to both she's balanced. And the show certainly does still treat her as the one true Slayer which is where my problems come in.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say we'll see a LOT more of the Buffy and Faith parallels and comparisons so I'm not going to lament the lack of that just yet. I do however feel like the existence of another Slayer should be treated more seriously in-universe. Not only should another Slayer be a constant reminder that Buffy died and came back but it should reshuffle her whole identity, hitherto shaped by being the Chosen One. She's now part of the Chosen Two and on the second second Slayer at that and it barely registers as an existential crisis? Couldn't be me. I'll elaborate on this later (if you'd like?) but yeah I just wish the show tapped into the enormous potential of this more. Also the Council?? And the Watchers?? Should not be as chill about this. But maybe there are upcoming things that prove they aren't.

And then there's how quickly Kendra as a Black woman was discarded and not really mourned at all beyond being a footnote in Buffy's really bad no good terrible day. She was a plot device to get the shitty day to be even shittier and replaced with Faith, a Slayer with a much larger role very quickly. And I just think that's not a great look for the show in terms of race. And the 1998 and "different time" card doesn't really fly. It is what it is.

The Scooby Gang and friendships/relationships

Okay first of all I think there's only been a Scooby reference once so far so I hope the fandom didn't stick with this term for two decades because of that one-off line. Second, and I don't even know why I'm getting started on this when I know I won't elaborate properly but they way people are way too quick to be harsh on Buffy bothers me. There are instances when I think she should get what the hell hero moments but my good 3x02 was painful to watch. I'm cutting Willow some slack because generally she's the best friend you could have and handles things way more maturely than the others do, all the while being adorable. But s3 is when I stop resisting being pissed off by Xander. Overall the series does seem aware when he's being an ass but not enough for my tastes and the vibe of 3x02 was way too "both sides were wrong" for my taste when really Buffy was way more justified in her hurt than any other character. I did appreciate Cordy standing up for her, but I also often feel like Cordy deserves better friends - certainly a better boyfriend - and frankly a show that threats her better. God only knows if that show will be Angel or not.

And not only friendships but the romance drama. Sure, it's expected but I can hardly believe anyone actually liked the Willow and Xander thing. Oz is alright but he's also kinda flat as a character and even being a werewolf doesn't give him much colour. Like I said, Cordy has always deserved better than Xander and though I feel like they'll inevitably get back together, I wish they wouldn't. Swear I had more thoughts on romances but they're largely frustrating so I'll leave it at that.

3x07 is always cursed

Actually I'm not done talking about Faith because I really need to talk about the lackluster writing of 3x07. I'm not mad that conflict is arising between Buffy and Faith, I'm mad that it's done poorly. Like I said it's such a rich potential for a juicy juicy dynamic and not only are they not utilizing it, they half-assed their big break of trust moment. Mrs. Post was way underdeveloped, along with Faith's ch actually. Because if only we spent more effort on establishing Faith as someone who's hard to trust and has issues and easily retreats into hurt and isolation I'd be a'ight it hurts to see but I get that she'd be sus of Buffy from now on. But we didn't. There were no real Faith focused moments between her introductory ep and 3x07. She gets offended when the Gang holds the Angel intervention without her but the baddie Watcher barely has to do anything to get Faith to act all stupid about it. The whole Xander scene and then immediately wanting to attack Angel, it just came out of nowhere and honestly made me feel like I missed a scene. It's not completely unreasonable for a Slayer to want to kill a vampire as notorious as Angel. After all, Kendra also left Angel for dead and that was before he went back to being Angelus. But this was just so... convoluted when it really didn't have to be.

This could have been the start of a really compelling arc that hurts me, personally, as someone who's ready to be baited by Fuffy - and for all I know, it might turn out to be delicious. But the initial conflict was so poorly executed and half-assed, and after the Angelus twist of season 2 I'm expecting better. If you can deliver that much of a gut punch with Buffy's bf you can do it with her gf, too. I dare BTVS to break my heart over Fuffy but ONLY if they do it right. Do it, you cowards, write me a tragedy.

And that was Buffy corner with tuiyla! Stay tuned for when we jump back in time and catch up on seasons 1 and 2.