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my account doesn’t tell me when i’m tagged what the hell!!!!!!
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#im lazy as hell#4 boxes in i lost my mind hahaha#megastar#im rewatching g1#ill draw better latee trust me#i just need to learn how to draw#hes supposed to be kissing the gun i uhhhh couldnt portray that so take my word for it#maccadam#transformers#anyways how yall nerds doing? i found my megatron figurine that survived getting ran over by a car. hes on my desk now.#anyways on the topic of g1 WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO????#you ever see some shit like damn i hope you two die together#they give me secondhand cringe. head in hands i cant be near these deranged mfs#5 years ago ppl tried to pressure me away from this ship lmao#megatron#starscream#dawg im being ran through by my workload.#wanna hear another very real problem i have? so im a starscream fan since i was like 7. always a ss fan#and one time when i was a teen my mom accidentally ran over my megatron toy with her car so i begged my parents for a model kit#ss was out of stock for years so i got tc. i bought that for $24 and it was all chill#recently i was thinking i want the entire dumbass squad. all 3. i checked the price#$58??? MINIMUM???? AVG PRICE IS 70???? for HIM???#so what i need yall to do is i need a recs so i can infiltrate hasbro and character assassinate ss so bad the merch price drops back to $30#for the small cost of 20 rec letters i promise to destroy the franchise. how about it? then we can all get merch for better prices. cool!#or we can start a gofund me and raise millions so i can become an investor and tell them to lower prices from outside the club#maybe i should email the board. some shit like hey i was planning on having kids but i cant if the toys cost as much as the hospital bill#can you lower the prices so i can buy my future kids toys so i can indoctrinate them like my dad indoctrinated me to become a lifelong fan#sincerely. two generations of TF fans (your franchise isnt that old yet and i hope my kids can afford to be the third gen)
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Did my Kofi tip go through
HI!! HI OH MY GOD YEAH IT DID!!! I'M SO SORRY I ONLY MANAGED TO REPLY NOW BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH?#!?!$#? 🥹😭💖💖
teruva says thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💕💖💕
#it's so funny bcs i received the email notification and went mouth gaping in front of my lect 😭😭#trying to figure out who sent it...we went detective mode the next half an hour or so (at least i found where it comes from now!!!)#thank you so so much again 🥹🥹😭💖💖🙏#myuask
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i wish there was a way to open google docs without pulling them up to the very top of recently opened documents. because sometimes i want to cause myself psychic damage with old writings but also they should just stay buried down in "last opened 2019" you know
actually post cancelled i just figured out you can make it sort by "last modified" instead of "last opened" which is probably more useful sorting metric for me anyway
#nearly all my old fanfic wips say '2019' because that's when i transferred it from my school email to personal email#so in reality they're quite a bit older#and i want to. hm. see what i was up to back then#because i suspect i only remember like 3 ideas out of the 20 i probably attempted#i just found like a one page hetalia wip from 2015 and i want to open it so badly#i remember my friends and i used to have like these round robin style fic collabs back and forth at school#and i found another old high school document where we had a bulleted list of fanfic ideas and out next to them the names of who was writing
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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I really wanted to table at my schools Artist con but then found out that they already sent emails out 😭 when I was on their interest form since spring,,
#I just found all of this from my friend#like I filled the form before it turned into a waitlist form#so I should’ve made the 2nd round of emails#then again my friend said this anime club is terrible at organizing things 💀#but still#I mean I just have keychains so like#worst comes to worst#I could advertise here lol#but I really wanted to do an irl con#like it’s reasonable to table there too#and I’m a student there#sigh#don’t mind me lol#it’ll all work out later#bella rambles
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oh my god okay I’ve been working since 7:30am but MN, SD, and JW are all submitted for internal review!!! NF is ready to submit as soon as he gets home from school and does a final readthrough!!!! DN has decided to waive review lol godspeed to that poor kid but it means less work for me today yippee!!!! and I also had time to give the baby a bath which is his new favorite activity (furiously focused water-kicking time!!!!). I think now I will take a break from student work and take all the residents of this household out for a brisk walk.
#I’m on a roll today so I might try to knock out EP’s five short essays too#maybe if the baby consents to nap once more (he’s been very obliging today)#I also just found out that one of my tutoring clients from another company wants to schedule 2x/wk sessions with me#for the foreseeable future#which is almost all the tutoring I’d need to do during the admissions offseason to make up my budget shortfall#tonight after the baby goes to bed I am going to sit down and calculate exactly how much $ I need to take six more weeks of leave#and then I will draft an email to let work know#thank you everyone for encouraging me to do it#even though I have to work a bit to make the unpaid leave work out#I still think it’s worth it to have the extra flexibility!!!#like I get to work in bursts while baby naps#and then hang out with him when he’s awake#and there’s no commute and no fixed hours
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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liam payne died??
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yknow sometimes (ok often) i think i never fully. recovered. from being cut off from the world and living in almost total isolation from any other human being for 4 months. i don't think i ever relearned how to be part of society. how to be a human.
#vent#tw abuse#mom was at work all day. father i often didn't see. he'd only call me down to his office if he wanted to yell at or hurt me#had no internet no phone no access to the outside world.#didn't go any farther outside than my backyard. i couldn't.#and when i snuck onto my mom's tablet to send a desperate pleading email to my friend begging for help my father found it months later#and printed it off and used it to punish me again#and this was. right as i was coming out of an abusive friendship too. and had already been very isolated from my peers for 3 years#and was recovering from a severe trauma-induced psychotic episode
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today i bring you random tma doodles. tomorrow? who knows.......
#just me and my shitty sketchbook against the world it seems#i cant draw on my mac bc it doesnt have pen pressure bc it was made in like 2001 :(#idk if ive told the story of my shitty mac on this blog but basically:#a few years ago my cousin was like dumpster diving?? or smth?? and she found this old 2001 ish mac#so she fixed it up for me and gave it to me for my birthday#its too old to work with my tablet fully so it doesnt support pen pressure and slowly over the years its been degrading more and morw#now google freaks out if i try to visit any page that isnt my email and i cant get any other search engine to work lol#it also starts chugging when i have too many pngs in my files and gets hot enough to burn when i make too many layers in firealpaca#oh also i cant get anything other than firealpaca to work on my mac#its like having an old horse that you still make work on the farm despite the fact that it faints from heat exaustion all the time-#-and sometimes doesnt wake up the first few times you call its name. but you dont want to put it down and it refuses to die of old age#my art#doodles#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#melanie king#i love you melanie!!!!!!!!!!!! she own my heart!!!!!!!!!#georgie barker#do they have a ship name#basira hussain#not my best basira but its so small in my sketchbook lol
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Your dog Cooper was a very cute dog! I am sorry for your loss. I’m sure you guys gave him the best life possible. Sending my love your way ❤️❤️❤️
Copper was SO cute 💚 when he was younger his ears were so ridiculously expressive and perked and flopped and twisted every time he looked at anything. He tilted his head when he heard a strange or high-pitched sound and it was the cutest thing in the world. We used to play together, and I'd rile him up on the carpet outside of my childhood bedroom, him snorting up a riot to tell me he was still interested in playing.
We had him for 17 years, which I know is forever in dog years, but I would have loved 17 more. I posted a little video of him on my Instagram story, sharing the news, and the amount of cousins and aunts and childhood neighbors and childhood friends who reached out to me to share their condolences and their lovely lovely words about him really touched me. People liked him, a lot, even though he was a weird little dude.
He wasn't a good boy truthfully, haha. He was raised around cats as a puppy and sometimes he seemed more cat than dog. He didn't really care too much about people until he got old and started seeking us out for comfort. He had next to no impulse control, it seemed, so though he technically knew what "stay" meant, there wasn't much likelihood of him listening when there was a squirrel or rabbit to chase. My dad always called him strange, but he was my little baby :')
I loved growing up with him, and he was always so happy to see me when I came home from college, and then later when I came to visit from pgh. He loved a good game of fetch, even if you'd sometimes have to "no take, only throw!" with him, haha. He LOVED sniffing around the christmas tree and getting to "open" his presents. I have so many videos of him with his head in a gift bag, ahahaha.
I was lucky to go this long without experiencing pet loss. It sucks, but this was always going to happen, and I'm just glad we got 17 years with that guy. thank you for your kind words 💚
#we had so many nicknames for him... cops... coppy... cop top... pop top... goofball...#I'll miss hearing my sister squeal “COPPYYYYYYYYY” which was her standard greeting for him haha#we all found out via email from my dad and I got VERY lucky all things considered.#i was leaving work early and was in the stairwell when the notif came through. one of my sisters was in a work meeting 😭#luckily both her and the other were working remotely#so I just ran to my car and cried for like half an hour lol#it's tough. we loved him. but we were lucky
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bored waiting for my next class to start so look at them
#animals#the story here is monster (gray cat) got out somehow#my sister got an email while she was at work that a cat was found in the apartment building#and the picture confirmed it was her cat#so she frantically calls me friday morning asking if i can go save her poor stupid animal from the horrible hallway#so these are after i got her inside and reunited with the other cat#i call her stupid not out of malice shes just genuinely the dumbest fucking cat ive ever met#their names are luna (black) and monster (gray)
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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package
#fun story#i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it#and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently#before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive#so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs#and being on the phone at work for a while lmao#i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another#the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read#so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the address‚ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end#yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall#and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it#and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER#so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirt‚ 2 kiki sign things‚ a sweater‚ and a pair of pants for $40#and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.
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*voice of the mc from starmyu* I DONT KNOW HOW TO GIVE UP ON MY DREAMS!!! :D
rekindled my passion for theatre costume and refuse to give up despite failing to get contacts and a job out of uni and some of my teachers convincing me i was shit and the elitism of a lot of the costume industry ;^; it was my dream for so so long!!!! i tried so so so hard!!! why should it be too late!!! i am STUBBORN and DETERMINED it is my best and worst trait and i cant believe it failed me for a while BUT NOT ANYMORE
#step 1: i need a car. difficult step because i cant afford a car. also despite having a license i dont actually remember how to drive lol#step 2: pray that the head of wardrobe from my beloved hometown theatre remembers me from when i volunteered there for a while in 2018-20#<-i found out old email exchanges so hopefully i can still contact her#wait that was step 3. step 2: try and scavenge stuff for a even halfway decent portfolio. also a very difficult step because i focused on#design not construction at uni so didnt really make much. my cosplays may have to suffice. harrow cosplay will eventually happen too#making a costume for my coworkers kid atm too so if that turns out okay then that can go in there#step 4: beg lol. when i wanted to get work experience as Beloved Hometown Theatre i contacted them soooo many times and it eventually worked#so i guess i try that again with theatres lol#also the starmyu quote is particularly relevant since its also about musical theatre lmaooo. starmyu my beloved you are so shit and silly#but i love you so much you bring my so much fun joy
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Ok so like worst case scenario I get dropped from a class and have to pay for it and my graduation will be delayed by a semester so like my life is not over but I gotta be honest it does kind of feel like it.
#it must just be the way i found out... just very abrupt and very slap-in-the-face-esque#basically the jist is that when i turned in paperwork for a program i have to participate in to take one of my final courses#something went wrong and no one told me. and now we're two weeks into the semester and ive just discovered that i was never actually#enrolled in the work based learning program. even though ive been doing the work for it.#like i just saw an email today from one of the teachers that was like “you need to contact your wbl instructor or you risk being dropped#from embalming theory“#and thats it. and i had to talk to my coworker whos also in the program to figure out what the hell he meant by that because there was just.#no context otherwise.#so now i just have to hope they'll fucking spare me so this doesn't shoot a hole in my life
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