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This is what my table looks like now. Also look at my crocheted ugly rat. That is the post.
#that is the post#it's really ugly#ugly corchet#sonic doodle#classic sonic#my art#I guess if you could call it that idk...
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
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*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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Digital Circus AMA Notes
Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!
#webcore aesthetic board for the series design
Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸
90s toys Zooble inspo
Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).
"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."
Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.
Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.
Pomni likes salmon.
Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.
Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.
People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.
Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.
Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.
Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.
They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.
There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.
Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.
Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."
Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.
Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.
Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."
I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.
#these are all from GLITCHX 2023 on the glitch productions youtube channel btw#for anyone curious as to where I got the screenshots & details#theory crafters pop off with this#someone else can reblog this with time stamps if you want I'm pretty tired#I'm not going back through that stream right now; I'm sure someone else will put timestamps in the comments maybe#but yeah consider the amazing digital circus officially greenlit for a first season I guess! :D#tadc season 1 eventually baybeee!!#I'm hyped! I wonder if the pilot will remain canon into season 1 or if we'll get a new introduction into the series.#Wonder why Jax called Gangle... well Gangle 👀 maybe he just thought it sounded silly or something i'm curious as to what gooseworx thought#Caine's AI really thought Pomni running around looking for him & Kaufmo abstracted in his room was funny 😐 or his AI is glitchy#(we saw him glitching out already in the pilot) alternatively I think Bubble could be distracting Caine on purpose but idk just yet#imagine how much pain Ragatha was in since they can all actually feel that though like being body slammed & thrown against walls & stuff 😬#also excited to see some Gangle-centric content in the future based on that comment about the 'real her' 👀#Kaufmo would probably make jokes at really dark moments when it wasn't appropriate because that was a coping mechanism for him poor guy 😭#mine#op#the amazing digital circus#tadc
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.
#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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Drew a baldi bcs I got bored
#🤯#baldis basics#baldi#digital art#uhh#idk#art#I guess#if you could call it that#baldiges basics in education and learning#maletart
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crazy to think that people my age want to have sex… and that many of them have had sex before… and that they are actively seeking out people to have sex with….. and that they talk about sex with their other sex-having friends……. couldn’t be me but y’all have fun tho! stay safe out there and stuff
#idk i just don’t think about having sex with specific people. mostly i think about it as a concept i guess#i think it could be a very positive experience with the right person/people#and if someone trusted me enough to share that level of vulnerability with them i would be beyond honored#but y’all just met 8 hours ago!#how do you already trust each other that much!!#and that’s not slutshaming or whatever i just really do not understand#like i still don’t know exactly what i am but it’s definitely some flavor of#asexual#same goes for drinking/drugs tbh#like you wanna go ingest mind altering substances in a loud environment with flashing lights and strangers?#have fun or whatever ill be Literally Anywhere Else. call if you need a dd#this thought prompted by me finding a ‘fuck marry kill: actors edition’ card game on the shelf downstairs#and asking my mom why it was there#and her replying ‘well i got it cause it looked fun and i figured you could take it to (friend)’s birthday party’#and i was like why would i want to do that?? and then i remembered#ace chats
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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Me @ Wulbren after the way he talked to my man Barcus in Last Light
#bg3#talking mad shit for a fucking GNOME#should have called him a prick but my tav is a nobleman so he just barely held himself back#bro the TONE when barcus said hes 'a patient man' cause i told him to wait to leave bc of the shadow curse#WULBREN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE#barcus is just a lil guy in love and i will PUNT THAT FUCKING GNOME#JUST WAIT WULBREN. ACT 3. INTO THE FUCKING HARBOR#THOSE WAVE BITCHES WILL PUT IN A WORD FOR ME WITH THE SEA QUEEN FUCKING FIND OUT WULBREN#barcus overhearing: [barcus disapproves]#sorry man do i look like a redemption paladin to you#hated his ass even when you didnt survive my first run to make it to act 3 its just worse now#guess i should tag#bg3 barcus#bg3 barcus wroot#barcus wroot#idk i dont go in his tag#or wulbrens. as you could guess
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Like this if you want to receive a random wild magic surge from Iago for your muse to deal with~ I've got a table to roll on and everything. let's cause problems and/or make an everlasting bond over joint fuckery ━★. *・。゚✧⁺
#starter call I guess????? I'm just out here idk if that's the right term#it could be as silly or as seriousscary as you want to make it just play with meeee~#let me be a menace in your inbox >:3#multimuse no need to specify you can afflict whoever you so wish#I'll just give you something to run with
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serious question for the kirby community 👉👈
#squirrel's clan meetings#kirby#magolor#kirby series#im gonna be real . i do think it is kinda stupid 😭#im sorry just. yeah hes a traitor to the dream team you could say but calling him literally Traitor magolor doesnt. Work???? i guess???? 😭#this is why i call him overlord magolor dkjldfjsjkf ;-; 😭#nervous abt posting this tbh-- idk what the major opinion of the fandom is 😭😭😭
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so anyway this caption fucking sent me
#I guess you could call it that????#idk when I have a mental health moment I don't commit horrific acts of medical malpractice#the cabinet of dr. caligari
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Need you more than ever.
Click for better quality
A piece inspired by some tags under one of my posts left by @stillangelxx (sorry 4 tag)
Explanation and very long Help Wanted 2 speculation rambles under cut
This rough piece can be taken as just your usual "save Cassie" AU, because it was kinda inspired by that- BUT it was made with some of the ideas left by Angel in mind, which were basically; What if Help Wanted 2 was split POV between Gregory n Nessa, and Cassie- where Cassie thinks she's the good guy and Gregory is the antagonist in her POV, only for it to be the complete opposite. It just,,, became way more disconnected from Help Wanted than it was supposed to- but it'll probably make more since if you read the thoughts I had to flesh out the idea, which are right below the line-
Honestly this whole piece was made as an excuse to ramble about the idea and my interpretation of how it could go as a (current)believer that HW2 is directly after Ruin, but then it got way too long to just add in a reblog- so now we're here with an original post instead!(hope that's alright,,!)
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Wrote all this at like 3am so cut me a little slack if some of it is incomprehensible- I tried cleaning it up but it's still late so I might not get some points across right
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Basic premise: Split POVs between 3 star fam and Cassie, where the 3 star fam has minigames much more grounded in reality as they venture through the ruined Pizzaplex in search of Cassie, while Cassie's minigames are much more VR/AR based as she finds herself wandering the underground of the Pizzaplex, just barely having made it out of the elevator crash alive, and now finding it hard to distinguish reality from VR/AR. -------
Gregory and Vanessa POV ideas
-Gregory and Vanessa's minigames are more Ruin based, little sections of them trying to survive the many threats of the ruined Pizzaplex. Though some fall into more classic Security Breach territory due to VR/AR shenanigans - -Their "Glitchtrap" is M.X.E.S, and their "tapes" are Parent Nodes. M.X.E.S is not a threat in the same way Glitchtrap was, just a looming figure trying to guide them down to the M.X.E.S room and getting stronger the more Parent Nodes they reactivate. - -Their POVs main hub and select screen area is probably a cam station near the entrance of the Pizzaplex - -We switch between playing as Nessa or Gregory depending on the level and the gameplay can switch up accordingly. Sometimes we're Vanessa trying to protect Gregory, sometimes we're Gregory trying to survive on his own, etc. Freddy might also affect gameplay, whether that be for the better like being the thing protecting us in the minigame, or for the worse- like somehow accidentally bringing more attention to us and making the minigame harder.
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Cassie's POV ideas
-Cassie's minigames are MUCH more VR/AR based, way more centered on the past games, specifically stuff like Sister Location and maybe Pizzeria Sim. - -She's having a hard time differentiating VR/AR from reality - -Her POVs main hub is probably either the room with the elevator or the Mimics lair where she first encounters him(speaking of which I have no clue where he went here but he's gone for now(physically at least)) - -Her "Glitchtrap" could be Gregory calling out to her, an illusion of him created by the VR world that's almost always there in the "main hub", while the voice is actually him- the echos of his calls just barely reaching her and repeating in her head, being embodied by the illusion of him creeping around in the "main hub". He's being genuine with a concerned tone asking where she is, but she thinks he's trying to trick her- probably back to finish her off after she survived the crash. - -Not sure what her "tapes" are… maybe things explaining patient 46/GGY/Rab that only further her thinking he's the antagonist? - -It's kind of hard to tell where Cassie is irl in the heavily VR/AR minigames, but if you look close enough in each level you can piece together where she is and how she's progressing through the undergrounds of the Pizzaplex
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The game has three endings; It ends with 3 star fam and Cassie meeting up in the M.X.E.S room, and branches from there.
We can see it from either POV depending on what POV we're in when activating the ending. 3 star fam enters M.X.E.S room and go to turn them back on, when Cassie ambushes them, jumping out of the Mimics lair and confronting them, starting a tussle with Gregory. There's no boss fight, just different outcomes to the confrontation depending on a few factors;
You 100% complete Gregory and Vanessa's POV and activate the ending before finishing Cassie's POV
You 100% complete Cassie's POV and activate the ending before finishing Gregory and Vanessa's POV
You 100% complete both POVs before activating the ending
Ending 1. Vanessa reactivates the M.X.E.S before something bad happens and M.X.E.S intervenes. Whatever "intervenes" means is up 2 you cause I can't decide - Ending 2. Cassie gets the upper hand(maybe literally if she has the Mimics severed hand as a weapon) and wins the fight. Again, whatever "wins the fight" means is up 2 you cause I can't decide - Ending 3. Gregory is somehow able to convince Cassie that he isn't the antagonist before something bad happens and they make up, turning the M.X.E.S back on and exiting the Pizzaplex
And honestly? I can't see any of these being canon- They're just kinda basic outcomes to the fight, but I can't imagine any of them being canon and where the next game would theoretically pick up from- Most likely it'd be something like "Gregory and Vanessa make it out almost unscathed, but aren't able to convince Cassie to come with them as she's still so stuck in the VR/AR world and the idea that Gregory is a bad guy, and she becomes the antagonist for the next game with this game being the build up to her next appearance and a deeper dive into her as an antagonist" That's what I think would make the most sense at least!
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ANYWAY!!! UHM-
If you're here then- thanks for reading my rambles!! Saw Angel's tags and immediately my brain started going crazy, and this was the result lmao
Don't really know what else to say other than credit to Angel for the initial idea, anybody else who's reading this should definitely go show them some love because her art is REALLY good!!!
Also hype 4 Pax West lets fucking GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#my art#chipillustrates#fnaf#fnaf help wanted#fnaf help wanted 2#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy's help wanted#fnaf Gregory#fnaf Vanessa#fnaf Cassie#fnaf SB Gregory#fnaf SB Vanessa#fnaf Ruin Cassie#fnaf speculation#I guess you could call it that?#idk I'm just having fun lmao#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's fanart#should start tagging scheduled art cause I'm usually not awake when it posts-#THIS IS SCHEDULED
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