#I had it in there but he just sounded like Jeff Goldblum

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

medialog june 2k24

watched

wordplay - rewatched this documentary about crosswords and particularly about the annual crossword tournament put on by will shortz while waiting for the anesthesia from my wisdom tooth extraction to wear off and found it about as charming as i remembered... i love a doc about a subculture made up of endearing nerds. i first saw it when it came out and on revisit it also has some intensely 2004 vibes - in particular jon stewart shows up as one of their crossword-fans talking heads and it really brought home for me how influential he was on the development of internet tone (like to this day the reason so many people on reddit sound Like That is because they're trying to be jon stewart and failing...)

the bourne ultimatum - movie go zoom zoom! still not convinced matt damon can act

artists and models - i had never seen a dean martin/jerry lewis film before and i don't really want to again but i'm glad i saw this one (this is how i feel about the two (2) wes anderson movies i've seen, and also pulp fiction & tarantino). some great colors & costumes, a plot that goes surprisingly bonkers in a final third turn that reminds you it was the cold war (between that and all the stuff about comics & violence this one also functions as a real time capsule), and (my main reason for watching) shirley maclaine the love of my life is so adorable and funny as a daffy sweetheart in a role that really lets her (a former dancer) show off her gift for physical comedy.

the secret garden - the cast in this movie is so good, including the children in the starring roles, and while it doesn't even attempt to do anything with the book's deranged relationship with things like the british empire and the concept of disability, watching it really did bring me back to why the book has been so beloved - the fantasy at its heart is ultimately about hard humble work paying off and about friends teaching each other to be nicer, which are i think deeply appealing narratives for children in a way that people sometimes forget. it's so funny that part of what cures mary and colin of their bad personalities is meeting another unhappy rich child for the very first time!

humanist vampire seeking consenting suicidal person - this was slight but sweet, a darkly funny romcom with some style and heart. also i had never seen a french-canadian movie before i don't think and it was a fun surprise to hear them talking like "frenchfrenchfrenchfrenchRRRRfrenchfrenchRRRR." not an accent with which i have much familiarity!

jurassic park - my somewhat inexplicable, even to me, aversion to raiders of the lost ark had me avoiding action spielberg for basically my whole life but i gave this a shot thinking maybe i would appreciate it if not enjoy it and was absolutely GLUED to the screen from about five minutes in. i understand why other directors are like that about spielberg now, and also what jj abrams is trying to do all the time and failing because he doesn't understand how it actually works. this is like the most famous movie in the world basically and i've seen so many clips from it over the years and yet even waiting for them and expecting them to come i was ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT! like WOW! truly a movie that feels like a theme park ride more than any other i've seen except maybe fury road. anyway as you statistically speaking probably already know this movie absolutely rocks, and not just for (1) laura dern and (2) jeff goldblum with his tits out.

citizen kane - spent the last weekend in june at two different marches & closed it out sunday night with a screening of the movie that made me bisexual <3 one day i'll figure out a way to articulate how this movie did what it did to me but for now i will just say that it is great and its reputation is deserved and orson welles is one of the most entertaining screen presences of all time and it looks so cool and beautiful all the way through and it is so so so so gay

interview with a vampire season 2 - my opinion on this is at this point well established lol finally some good fucking food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

read

megan abbott, the turnout - this & the zadie smith book are further steps in me catching up with authors i lost track of during some bad reading years! when i heard that megan abbott was coming out with a book about sisters who run a ballet school i was like LOL because that's like the peak ultimate megan abbott premise (girls and the nastiness of both feelings and bodies and ambition and hunger and an atmosphere of nightmares and filth and the insane dynamics of a tightly knit but deeply dysfunctional world, all to the nth power), and guess what as a megan abbott fan i loved it :) all the bad reviews on goodreads for this are like "why is this book so gross? why is she sexualizing the nutracker? there were scenes in this book that made me feel dirty reading them. way too much focus on the wet leotard crotches of little girls" and i was sickos dot jpg the whole time. but actually i think the reason that this wound up being my favorite abbott since dare me is that at its core it's a book about a woman with an unbelievably fucked up childhood due to her incredibly fucked up dead parents and the suspense that gives the book its tension and its form is less about what's going to happen with the plot and more about whether she is at any point going to put it together that the things that happened to her when she was young were actually bad; the further the book goes, the more deeply you understand the walls of denial and distortion around her entire life. it rules.

david j. skaal, something in the blood: the untold story of bram stoker, the man who wrote dracula - as previously mentioned, i have some real qualms with some of his dracula readings, but overall i found this an addictively pleasurable tome - 600 pages and he kept them turning the whole time. i love a biography that starts off with some background on medieval ireland, you know? skaal is a good writer with an engaging but learned style, and the book is clearly both exhaustively researched and intended for popular audiences (albeit popular audiences who have definitely read dracula, but, i mean, who else is reading 600 pages about this guy?); reading it often feels something like having a drink with a professor who knows his stuff and is NOT afraid to gossip. dracula qualms aside i may investigate some of his other books, particularly his book on dracula screen adaptations, since i'm curious about those but don't necessarily want to, like, watch most of them, lol

bonnie jo campbell, the waters - book club book that was objectively certainly not terrible and which had some things i did like or appreciate, like an 11 year old girl obsessed with math (representation matters...) but which i found just about the most boring thing i have read in my life. like i would definitely say campbell is a better writer than, say, taylor jenkins reid (to name another book club book) or whatsherface who wrote the book of fried green tomatoes which we also read las year... but i found those books much more aggravating but also easier to get through than this book, which really requires you to have some level investment in, like, the natural world of rural michigan, but mostly made me feel so glad i don't live in a small town where all the men have guns.

zadie smith, swing time - it's funny because when i started this i was spending a lot of time thinking about how maybe plot and structure have become underrated, but then this was like a very long book written in the style of someone just kind of talking at you about their life, with plot events technically happening but never feeling like the driving force of the book, and i was totally riveted, which was a good reminder that you can get away with anything if you're a genius! smith is just such a keen observer of people and how they operate, and so allergic to relying on any kind of obvious assumptions about the relationships between demographics & personality or beliefs, even as demographic realities are such a key part of the fabric of the book... i was a little worried i would be disappointed by the fact that she abandoned the modernist-leaning experimentation of NW for a more straightforward, even chatty, style, but "you can get away with it if you're a genius" applies to that too. this book is also an absolute masterclass in the universal through the specific - i cannot emphasize how much literally not one thing the protagonist experiences has ever happened to me, how much our lives and backgrounds and personalities overlap not at all, and yet constantly i found myself aching with resonance over things like "it's so true that's what it's like when you have a mom" or "that really is what it feels like when you are young and sort of smart but also sort of stupid" (which if i were to define it briefly is i think more or less what the book is about).

listened

charli xcx, brat - i remain after all these years a true romance truther and continue unfairly to measure all her subsequent work, much of which is frankly too sophisticated and experimental for my listening taste even if i recognize she's Doing Something, but this album sounds great and has some bops. as a straight-through listen it was too rich for my blood, but i find myself enjoying the songs on shuffle mixed in with whatever else i've been into more than i would have expected from that first exposure, and also 360 has been stuck in my head more waking hours than not for like a month and a half now and i'm still not sick of it (although i think my favorite song on the album is 365, and not just because i think it's really funny that she ended the album with "the opening track coming out of the bathroom after doing cocaine"). plus as someone who HAS been listening to charli since whenever the video for "you're the one" dropped it is nice to see The Culture finally rally around her even if i remain a little puzzled over why now, the all-star remixes getting rolled out have been pretty delightful (LORDE!!!!!!!!), and it's nice to have the zeitgeist coalesce for a moment over something i too think is fun (especially since the other thing gay people love this summer is chappell roan on whom i have yet to be converted sorry to everyone i'm sincerely glad you're having a good time)

[johannestevans]

watched the first two episodes of kaos and i'm really disappointed so far :( the writing is very mid, and like. i would not have been so anticipant had i realised in advance it was another eurydice and orpheus retelling

of all the stories to pick, i mean. come on

i know that hadestown premiered nearly 20 years back now, but it's literally still on stage and is one of the best contemporary musicals there is, and tbh like. hades game ALSO has quite an interesting take on orpheus and eurydice

i know these are niche genre things compared to a big netflix tv show, but the thing is they both do orpheus and eurydice REALLY well, and kaos... doesn't. tbh it doesn't do anything well so far except its costuming and its soundtrack

and tbh like. for all the money they've obviously spent on their soundtrack, they've hired a very bland fella to play orpheus who isn't that much of a singer, and he sounds like a shitty west life

and having genuinely good music in the show just makes his song look worse

nd tbh i'm just like. idk i assume that what they want to do is save the more interesting gods and figures for future seasons, but like. jeff goldblum and janet mcteer are basically carrying the entire show, and they haven't got that much to work with

like why is dionysus into this extremely mid dude who's neither hot nor that good of a musician? why, of all things, is he interested in... that? eurydice's whole thing is that she's *fallen out of love* with orpheus but... what DOES she want? what DOES drive her?

'm only two episodes in, but like. this is information i should have understood about the characters UPON their introduction. i should not need to watch the whole season to sort of... have an idea about what these chars actually want or what drives them

idk it's very frustrating bc it feels very like. idk. like some people sat in a room and tried to come up with a tv show about greek gods because they felt it was time for someone to pitch one to netflix. not because they had a particularly compelling idea in the first place

idk i'm ultimately frustrated because the whole thing just feels surprisingly anodyne and very shallow in its writing, despite ostensibly pulling on and referencing the more obscure figures from greek mythology that laymen might be less familiar with

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

Day 25. 2019. Back at it again with Gotham City, this time as an animated movie. Another two years later, TMNT adapted its crossover comic with Batman into an animated direct to DVD movie under the same name. The movie was pretty alright & had its expected differences from the comics. Tho one thing remained the same.. Baxter's pointless involvement. Just like with the comic, him being there doesn't make a difference & he still could have been replaced with any other scientists, he's also immediately introduced as a mutant fly which on paper sounds interesting, but here he does NOTHING with his fly powers or even fights. Hell he faints when Robin attempts to. Did TMNT just not see the potential danger in a mutant fly? There's like 5 movies based on why they could be, One of them literally being the reason he was mutated in the first place! actually the only thing they do take from that movie is Jeff Goldblum.

... He's just Jeff Goldblum. That's basically his character the entire movie is a bad Jeff Goldblum reference. I really don't have anything to say about this version, Damian already summed it up for me.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Work Wife

A/N- I’m slowly starting to get back into loving Gareth again after my breakup, and though i’m still trying to get better and heal from it, i think if i try my best to work on fics for him it’ll make me feel better 🥰 (cause i know Gareth would treat me right 😍)

Summary- You have a pretty close relationship with your coworker Gareth, and you don’t realize you have a crush on him until another coworker finally gives you a label.

Genre- Fluff

Warnings- None :)

Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles

Words- 4.8k

“I’m sorry… you’d fuck the toxic avenger?”

“Are you kidding?!” You nearly shouted at Gareth from your place behind the register, “Of course i would, he’s the good guy, and he’s like the sweetest guy in the whole movie.”

“I don’t know, something about him just turns me off…” Gareth shrugged at his spot at the end of the checkout lane, his hands fidgeting with the paper bags in front of him to make it seem like he was working.

“Oh, but Seth ‘fingernails falling off, acid vomiting, insect-man’ Brundle turns you on?” You giggled.

“Come on! It’s Jeff Goldblum, i think you can cut me some slack for that.”

“Yeah, i guess you’re right.”

You and Gareth were bored at work once again during another one of your shared 8 hour shifts at Bradley’s, and just like usual your conversation turned from talking about cheesy horror flicks to another game of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’.

Your friendship was definitely strange, at least it seemed strange when you tried to describe it to other people. You were best friends at work and though you had gone to the same school and even had a few classes in the past all of your conversations outside of your shifts had just been small talk with one another. But once the two of you were on the clock together you were inseparable

You’d talk like you’d known each other for years, pick on one another, and whenever you could you tried to make it seem like every task was a two person job.

Trash run? You needed Gareth to help you lift the heavy bags into the dumpster.

Restocking the freezers? If you were helping Gareth it would go by twice as fast if it was just himself doing it.

Stuck at the register? Well someone had to be at the end to help bag all the customers groceries.

Each and every time you two shared a shift you knew it was going to be fun. He just made the day go by so much faster when he was there with you.

You had been there for a few months prior to him getting hired, you were even the one who trained him, but for some reason you just took a liking to one another. It was nice to be able to work with someone you considered a friend. Even though you rarely spoke when the uniforms were off.

Your conversation at the register was soon interrupted by the sound of someone pulling their cart into your lane, and though the two of you often complained afterwards about having to actually work at your job, your managers knew that putting the two of you together meant that you would always get everything done quickly and correctly.

You gave the older woman a smile and quickly scanned her items, sliding them down to Gareth to bag them up for her.

“Alright, it’s going to be $43.26.”

She handed you a few bills and you quickly grabbed her change, giving her a smile and a wave and Gareth doing the same before turning back to you,

“We’re you even paying attention to what she was buying?” He said with a laugh.

“No?” You said giggling back, “Was i supposed to?”

“That lady was buying Vaseline, condoms, Kleenex, and one of those home life magazines with all the recipes in it.”

The two of you were giggling at the thought of you not even paying attention to notice the strange things she had bought, and at this time of night.

It had been dark out for a few hours and the stores hours changing to be open later during the summer were nice in theory, more hours always means more money, but it definitely brought in a few weirdos evert now and then after dark.

You glanced over at the clock on the wall to check the time.

6:34 pm.

Almost halfway finished with your shift.

You sighed and looked back over to Gareth,

“Still got another five and a half hours until 11.”

Gareth smiled and looked around to see if any of your other coworkers could see the two of you, watching as they continued on with their shifts before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lighter and what looked to be a pill bottle, though there was no pills inside to be seen. Only a few pre-rolls and some smaller bits of flower stuck near the bottom.

“I think we’ll be fine after our break.” He said with a smile, raising his eyebrows at you before slipping the lighter and bottle back into his pocket.

“Oh thank god,” You said with a smile, leaning over the counter and resting your body onto your elbows to whisper to Gareth without the threat of your managers hearing, “i cant be here another 5 hours sober.”

You smiled at one another and took another look around the store, trying to see if your manager was lurking around. More often than not, if there was a late shift that the two of you shared, during your breaks you’d chill together in one of your cars with some snacks you ‘borrowed’ while your manager wasn’t looking and smoke together. It was a nice little pick me up during all those boring shifts, and needless to say whenever Gareth supplied it always made the rest of the night a little more fun.

“Want to see if they’ll let us go early?” You asked, giving him puppy dog eyes to help convince him to take your side and ask the manager on shift if they’ll let the two of you take your break just a little earlier than normal.

He smiled and rolled his eyes, knowing that meant he would be the one to ask,

“Fine, but we’re doing it in your car this time.

“Works for me!” You smiled and as Gareth walked past you, you quickly grabbed his arm to get his attention, “Want anything? I was gonna grab some chips or something.”

“Yeah, grab me some cherry sours if they have them.”

“Got it.”

You smiled and glanced around the store. No customers. The perfect opportunity to sneak a few aisles over and grab your snacks, just hoping that if your coworkers caught you you’d be able to talk them out of snitching to your manager.

As you saw Gareth walk into the managers office you quickly ran over and saw that one of your other work friends was thankfully stocking the candy aisle. You approached them with a smile and and stood before them as they were kneeled on the floor, placing boxes of charleston chews and bags of jelly beans into their proper places on the shelves,

“Hey, i think a bag of cherry sours accidentally got lost today,” You leaned over and grabbed one of the small bags of the little red candies, hiding them under your shirt, “you know where they went?”

They smiled to you and went back to restocking the shelves,

“Nope. No idea.”

You smirked and took a glance down the end of the aisle, spotting a display with a few bags of chips on it,

“I think a bag of ruffles might’ve gotten lost too, right?”

“Sure.” They said with a laugh, “You sneaking some snacks for you and your little work husband during your break?”

You stood there for a moment and shot them a confused look, thinking over the little nickname they had given to Gareth,

“Work husband?” You said with a laugh, “What do you mean?”

“Are you kidding? I see the way you guys always are always together doing something here, it’s rare to find you two apart. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute to see how you act around each other but fuck, you guys need to stop making it so obvious.”

They were right, and you knew they were right too. You and Gareth were barely apart during your shifts and you were always around one another, goofing off or making every task a two person job, but having to hear someone on the outside tell you about what they noticed when witnessing your friendship was a little eye opening. Though you were still confused at what they were hinting at,

“Making what obvious? What are you talking about?”

“You mean to tell me you don’t know that you like each other?”

You pondered their statement for a moment as you stood in the middle of the aisle.

It had never crossed your mind that maybe you might’ve had a little crush on Gareth, and though he was sweet and funny and a little dorky, there was never a time you could remember when you had thought about having a crush on him. Maybe it was just how the two of you acted with each other, like your coworker had said, it was rare to see the two of you apart.

And then the little things started to creep back into your thoughts.

Always getting a little giddy seeing your names next to one another on the schedule when you were working the same shift. Paying attention to his laugh or his smile when you were having another one of your regular work conversations, playing ‘fuck, marry, kill’ with all the horror creatures you could think of or trying to see how long it would take for your managers to notice you had stocked all the cereal boxes backwards on the shelf, or even when you were picking on one another for working just a little too hard at your job. The way he would always sweet talk the managers to let you take your breaks early or get an extra 10 minutes just to spend more time with you, sharing a joint in his car while whatever cassette he was listening to played in the background while you enjoyed one another’s company. Now that you were thinking about it, he did get a little more touchy than normal when you were smoking together. It was nothing that would make you uncomfortable, but you noticed he would always move a little closer next to you on the bench seat, resting his head onto your shoulder as soon as he started to feel more relaxed which always ended up with your arm around his shoulder and your fingers playing with his soft curls.

Did he have a crush on you?

Or more importantly, did you have a crush on him, and just not notice it?

“It’s not like that, we’re just…” You tried to think of the right word for your relationship, and though you knew ‘work husband’ and ‘work wife’ described it perfectly, you knew the sound of it would make you blush, “friends.”

Your coworker laughed to themselves,

“I don’t know (y/n), you hesitated a bit on that.”

“We are!” You giggled, “We’re just friends, i swear.”

“Well, maybe you should have a talk with him about it on your break.” They shrugged and you turned your head as you heard footsteps approaching you down the aisle, thankful it was only Gareth coming back from talking with the manager, “i see how he looks at you, talk to him.”

You smiled to Gareth and tried to ignore your coworkers comments as he approached closer to you with a smile on his face,

“We’re good to go on our break,” He waved to your other coworker as they continued on with stocking and handed you your jacket, “here, it’s cold out, i figured i’d grab it while i was back there. And i managed to talk them into letting us take an extra 10 minutes if we get all the freezers restocked after.”

You took it with a smile and checked your pockets for your car keys, your coworker glancing up at you from their place on the floor with a smirk. You lightly kicked their foot and nodded Gareth to follow you through the aisle, making sure to grab a bag of ruffles from the stand before sneaking out the back door to your car. The chilly fall wind blew through Gareths hair and you giggled as he tried to brush it out of his eyes once you reached your car.

You unlocked your side and quickly got in, reaching over to pull the lock and let Gareth in next to you. The keys were put into the ignition and you switched the car on, fixing the heat as Gareth sifted through the collection of tapes you kept in your car, holding one up as he flicked the inside light on,

“Iron Maiden?”

He glanced over at you as you pulled your jacket off once you were well adjusted to the heat and untied your apron from around your waist, setting the chips down between you on the bench seat,

“Yeah sure, just as long as you don’t sing every word.” You said with a giggle.

“You know i can’t make any promises like that.”

Gareth smiled and put the tape into the radio, rewinding it just a bit and pressing play.

The music played softly, and though you tried to focus on the song, your mind was racing. All you could think about was what your coworker had said to you and the current situation you were in.

You and Gareth were alone, it was quiet, a good song playing in the background while he fished out the lighter and the bottle from his pocket. It wasn’t like this was something brand new to you two, in fact this was the third time this week where you had been in a situation like this, but after getting the thought into your head of not knowing if you had a crush on him or not it felt so much more different.

“You alright?” Gareth said to you as he passed you the already lit joint between his fingers.

“Yeah! Yeah, i’m fine…” You said with a smile as you took the joint and placed it between your lips, feeling slightly embarrassed as you took a drag and blew the smoke out of your cracked window, not knowing he had caught you zoning out to the thought of him.

“Alright, if you say so.” He said with a smile and settled into his seat, “You remembered my cherry sours right?”

You quickly nodded after your second hit and passed it back to him, lifting up your shirt slightly and tossing him the bag from underneath,

“You know i never forget our snacks, and i’m offended that you even thought i would.”

You shared a laugh with one another before he took a hit and opened the bag, holding it out towards you to offer you first grab. You reached in and took a few, popping them into your mouth and scrunching your nose up as soon the sour hit your tongue. You glanced over to Gareth and watched as he poured a few from the bag into his mouth, making you giggle,

“Christ, how do you eat them like that?”

He shot you a strange look as he was chewing, swallowing a few to get a sentence out,

“What do you mean? They’re delicious.”

“Oh i’m not arguing that they’re not delicious, but they’re so sour, and you just ate like 10 with no issues,” You snatched the joint from his fingers and took a quick hit, “you keep eating them like that and your tongue is gonna get all torn up.”

Gareth shrugged and poured a few more into his mouth as you took another hit,

“Well if my tongue is gonna get all torn up then so be it, cause i refuse to stop eating them.”

You giggled again and as he swallowed his second mouthful you handed the joint back to him, watching as he took the filter between his fingers and brought it to his lips, stained a light red from the cherry candies. You knew your staring would make you blush and you quickly looked out the window, staring up at the night sky to try and distract yourself from thinking of Gareth’s lips and how sweet they must taste.

Your eyes darted around the deep dark sky, looking over all the stars and trying to focus on finding the constellations before you felt a tap on your knee, snapping you out of your trance,

“(y/n)!” Gareth said, almost shouting at you, with a smile. The joint was held out to you and you took it between your fingers once again.

“Sorry, i just got a little distracted…” You placed it between your lips and took a long drag, noticing that Gareth had moved the bag of chips between you on the seat and inched closer to you. A telltale sign that he was definitely high, and he was definitely looking to feed how touch starved he was.

“You feeling alright?” He asked as you took another hit.

“Yeah, im fine.” You blew the smoke out of the cracked window and offered the joint back to him, which at this point had almost been burned to its end, “Why?”

“Because you’re not,” He said with a laugh, taking one last hit before flicking the roach out the window, “and i know you’re not. You’re being too quiet and usually you’re never able to shut up when we smoke.”

You smiled and playfully kicked at his leg,

“Shut up! That’s not true!”

“It is! You know how we act when we’re high, i get touchy and you ramble, that’s how it’s always been and now i can’t seem get you to want to talk to me. Everything was fine before we came out here, did something happen?”

You shook your head and pursed your lips,

“Nope. Nothing happened.”

Gareth leaned back into his seat, moving his hands into his lap like he was scared to be close to you,

“Did i do something?” You could hear the fear in his voice, and usually it was apparent when Gareth was scared, especially after a bad high and you’ve seen how he’s acted when he was like that. But this was different, and you could tell it was a different kind of fear, like he was nervous he had done something or said something to make the friendship you had beforehand shift.

“No!” You reached out and gently held your hand over his to reassure him that this wasn’t something he had caused, “You didn’t do anything at all, i promise.”

“Then what is it?”

You hesitated for a few moments, nervous to bring up what was really on your mind. This was something that you knew had to be brought up eventually, you just weren’t prepared for it to happen so quickly,

“It’s just…” You looked down at your hand still over his, and Gareth could tell that you were nervous. He moved his hands in his lap as he inched closer to you on the bench seat, gently taking your hand into his.

“It’s alright (y/n) you can tell me. I mean, it can’t be that bad can it?”

You knew he was just trying to make you better, and though you didn’t want to have to confront your possible feelings for Gareth tonight, you knew it had to happen wether you wanted it to or not.

“It’s not. It’s just that…” You took a deep breath trying to compose yourself before having a conversation as difficult as this. The fear wasn’t coming from having to talk to him about your feelings for one another, or lack thereof, but it was from saying something that could possibly ruin the friendship you two had. You didn’t want this to be the reason you lost your best friend.

“When i was inside getting our snacks, someone said something about us. It just got me thinking, you know?”

Gareth moved closer to you, and you looked back up to him as your thighs touched,

“What do you mean? Thinking bad, or thinking good?”

“I don’t know… I guess it could be both.” You said with a gentle laugh.

“What did they say?”

“They said…” You took another deep breath and started to play with Gareths fingers as his hand still stayed in yours to distract yourself a bit, “they said something about us. About how the way we acted with each other was cute and that i was like your ‘work wife’ and you were my ‘work husband’. I’ve just been thinking about it.”

Gareth smirked and looked at your hands intertwined with one another, watching your fingers still playing with his as a gentle blush spread across his cheeks. It may have been dark but you knew him better than that, and you could tell when he was a little flustered, though his silence was a bit worrying.

“Alright, now you’re being too quiet and it’s starting to scare me a little.”

He looked back up to you, a smile still on his lips,

“I mean, that is a cute way to put it.”

You shared a laugh and you smiled, feeling the weight lift off of your shoulders, thankful that Gareths reaction was a positive one,

“I’m just glad you don’t think it’s weird, i feel like i was overthinking the whole thing.”

“Overthinking? About what?”

You shrugged and looked back down at his hand in yours,

“Just us, i guess. Especially because of what they were saying.”

He inched himself closer into you, your sides pressed together, and though this was something normal for you it felt different now that you were talking about your friendship, or whatever it was that you could call your relationship.

“What else were they saying?”

“More stuff about us. Things they noticed.” You said with a little smile, recalling all the little moments you had shared with Gareth since you had started doing your shifts together, “They said that they saw how we act with each other, how were always together, and that they sometimes catch you looking at me a certain way.”

You looked back up to Gareths face and saw that he had his head slightly tilted down, the gentle blush that once covered his cheeks was darker and much more apparent, though it wasn’t out of embarrassment or nervousness. The bashful smile on his lips made it apparent that he knew his feelings were found out, and your eyes widened at your sudden realization.

All of the things your coworker had said were true.

The way Gareth acted around you, how he always went out of his way to make you laugh or smile during even the most frustrating parts of your shift, always being a gentleman around you even when he was high and bit more touchy than usual. It made perfect sense. It was clear to you that he had feelings for you, but somehow you still weren’t sure of your feelings for him.

You tilted your head down just a bit to get a better look at his face,

“Do you like me Gare?”

His eyes moved first to meet your gaze before he slowly looked back up to you, a shy smile still on his lips as he nodded.

You smiled back to him, your thumb moving over the back of his hand as you felt your cheeks warm up at the thought of finally confirming Gareths crush on you.

It was strange.

This was the first time that someone you knew you liked, a guy that was sweet and funny and honest, someone that was your friend that you could trust confirmed that they had feelings for you. It felt like you were back in grade school, starting to get those little crushes on your classmates that you saw every day and get shyer and shyer around them until you got too nervous to say anything. And yet, you still couldn’t be sure of your feelings for him.

You knew you liked him, you loved having him as your friend and as someone that you could trust and talk to about anything and everything, but in regards to romance you just couldn’t be certain until you figured it out for yourself.

“Do you like me too?” Gareth asked, the nervousness in his tone coming back as he looked to your face for any sign of a reaction.

You looked down at your hands, your thumb still slowly caressing the back of his hand,

“I don’t know… I mean, i know that i like you as a person. I love having you as my friend, and i love talking to you and seeing you and being able to spend time with you, and don’t get me wrong i think you’re very cute. I just don’t know if i have those kind of feelings for you, even though i feel like i should.”

Gareth understood exactly what you were saying.

You did really like each other as people, and as friends, and even he had a difficult time convincing himself that he had a crush on you when he first realized it. You both were scared of possibly ruining the friendship that had sparked between you, and it was scary to think about one wrong move or sentence ruining a friendship like that.

“It’s alright if you don’t (y/n). If you don’t like me like that then i’m ok with it, just as long as we can still be friends. I still like you as a person, that’s never going to change.”

You looked back up to him and smiled, and your thoughts were racing in your head. You were fine with just being friends but you needed some kind of closure to confirm wether or not you really had feelings for him.

He was someone you loved having as a friend, but maybe he would work better with you as a boyfriend instead of just a work friend.

“Can i…” You hesitated for a moment, a pit of fear forming in your stomach from the thought of your next few words ruining your friendship, “Can i kiss you? Just to make sure.”

His eyes went wide, the blush on his cheeks becoming darker than before,

“You’re sure that’s what you want? It’s not just the weed talking right? You’re sentient enough to think straight?”

“Yes, i promise it’s not the weed. I want to. I want to know if it’s right for me to feel that way about you. I’m done being confused.”

“Alright, if you say so.” Gareth turned his body towards yours, your hands separating as his went to carefully hold your waist and yours were draped over his shoulders.

You took a deep breath and inched closer to him,

“If i do this, and it doesn’t feel right, it’s not going to ruin us being friends right?”

“Not if you don’t want it to ruin it. If it feels wrong then i promise i won’t ever bring it up. We can just forget it ever happened and when we go back to work we go back to how we were beforehand.”

You pursed your lips and nodded gently,

“And if i don’t feel the same after, it won’t hurt your feelings?”

“Of course not. Well, it might hurt for a little bit, but as long as we can still be friends afterwards then i’ll be ok with it. I’d just be happy to still have you as a friend.”

A gentle smile spread over your lips as you nodded again, taking one last deep breath as your eyes wandered over Gareths face, and he was doing the same.

As your gaze finally fell to his lips, you slowly inched yourself closer into him, your lips gently grazing one another’s as Gareth waited for you to initiate it. Without a second thought, your lips pressed to his, gently taking his bottom lip between yours and the feeling was nothing short of breathtaking.

He held you so gently, his hair felt so soft between your fingers, and the taste of his lips felt so sweet as they were against yours.

This was right.

This was perfect.

This had finally confirmed the feelings you had been so afraid to admit to yourself.

You didn’t just like Gareth, you loved him.

You loved your best friend.

And he loved you back.

As your lips parted, you felt a rush of air enter your lungs, your hands still around Gareths neck as your fingers played with the ends of a few of the curls on the back of his neck. His hands had a firm grip on your waist, his thumbs slowly caressing your sides as you held one another close, your foreheads pressed together as you tried to recollect yourselves after the rush of emotions that had been made apparent after your kiss.

Gareth knew exactly what you were feeling, and knowing that this moment had been one he was waiting weeks and weeks for he was happy to know that what you felt for him was the same way he felt for you.

One of his hands moved up to hold your cheek as he brought you back into him, kissing you deeper than before, and you could feel him smile as his lips were against yours.

Thank god he had talked the manager into giving you those extra 10 minutes.

[holdmytesseract]

Against the odds

Chapter Seven - Harsh Reality

a/n: So many things are happening here...

Word Count: 4,9k

Warnings for this Chapter: thirst, suggestive smut/light smut, swear words, angst, the publicity...

Masterlist

Coming home after a long day of work with a frozen pizza waiting for you in the freezer was amazing. Coming home after a long day of work with your boyfriend - who was none other than Tom Hiddleston, standing in the kitchen, half naked and cooking one of your favourite dishes was even better, wasn't it? Well, that was exactly the scene you were walking into.

Tom had a day off today, 'cause every scene which got filmed today didn't involve him. It were a lot of scenes with you and a few other co-stars, especially Jeff Goldblum since he played your father. All in all, went shooting 'The Moralizer' pretty good. You were almost finished, only had a month of filming left.

Now, you were finally at home - well, Tom's home and found him in the kitchen. He stood in front of the stove, apparently stirring something in a pot, which smelled absolutely delicious. Tom wore nothing but a pair of black boxers - for whatever reason. It was quite a scene to behold. You were not complaining at all and would've lied, if you were claiming that this wasn't quite a hot view... He hadn't noticed you yet, though, so you allowed yourself a selfish moment and leaned against the door frame, ogling the gorgeous Brit shamelessly from bottom to the top. Bare feet standing on the tiled kitchen floor, holding the trained body upright. His calves were strong and muscly, just like his delicious, thick thighs. The boxers sat snugly around his hips and ass, literally holding on for dear life. The muscles in his bare back were on full display, as they strained and flexed under his movements - just like his defined arms and biceps. You bit your lip. Gods, you thought. That man was literally sex on legs… And the best thing about it? He was all yours. Licking your lips, you approached him, gently wrapping your arms around his strong torso. Tom flinched a bit at the sudden contact, "Hi, baby." but relaxed immediately at the sound of your voice.

"Hello, darling. Wrapped up filming for today?" "Uh.Huh." You tried to look past him, see what he was cooking. "What are you cooking, Tommy?" "Lasagna. Just finished preparing the sauce. I just need to stack everything up and shove it in the oven. Then we can eat." You pressed your cheek against his warm shoulder blade, inhaling his scent. He must've showered... That was why he only wore a pair of boxershorts. "And how long is it going to take?" A low chuckle rumbled through his chest. "Are you hungry, darling?" "Quite a bit yeah, but..." You paused in your sentence to let your hands travel lower to the front of his thighs, rubbing them up and down. "Not just for Lasagna..." Tom's demeanour suddenly shifted, as he realised what you insisted - and your hands so dangerously close to his crotch seemed to trigger something inside him. "Oh yeah?" You nodded. "Uh.Huh." "Would you like to have dessert before the main course?" Your lips started to ghost over his upper back, leaving a trail of small, hot kisses behind. "Do we have enough time for dessert, before the main course is ready, babe?" An audible gasp left Tom's lips. Your seductive voice, combined with the touch of your hands and lips on his skin caused his boxershorts to grow incredibly tight. "Are forty minutes enough time, Milady?" A grin spread on your lips - something Tom wasn't able to see. "That'll do." You stood on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. Another chuckle escaped Tom's lips, before he quickly finished preparing the Lasagna and shoved it into the oven. He set the small alarm clock and put it on the table, turning to face you with a smug smirk. "Time is running." Only now did you realise, that he wore glasses – which were making him even sexier than he already was and turning your legs into jelly. You smirked up to him, grabbing him by his boxer shorts. "Then let's not waste it." You pulled him after yourself towards the bedroom, all the while kissing him passionately.

You two literally stumbled into the room, limbs tangled together and lips sealed together. Hitting the edge of the bed, you gave Tom a quick, firm push, causing him to fall onto the soft mattress. Now he laid in front of you, chest heaving from the deep, ragged breaths he was taking. Abdominal muscles contracting due to the heavy breathing. His glasses were shifted; hair a total mess - and his arousal was straining more than just obviously against his pants. Your insides almost exploded at that sight. How could a man be that hot? You didn't even realise, that you were staring, literally eye-fucking him, until Tom started to chuckle. "Like what you see?" You blinked. "How could I not?" Another chuckle. "Well, then come on, darling. Dessert is waiting for you." You didn't let yourself tell that twice, of course. Within seconds, you got rid of your jeans and sweater and crawled on the bed, now hovering above your boyfriend. Your hands were all over his body, as you enjoyed the delicious look of your 'dessert'. Mapping out his broad and strong torso, worshipping his pecs and abs, all the way down to the hem of his boxers. Looping your fingers underneath the fabric, to pull them down his ridiculously long legs. By now, your mouth literally had started to water - something Tom noticed, of course. Just like the look in your eyes. He smiled, tangling his hand in your hair. "Bon appétit, baby."

"Okay guys, I just wanted to remind you, that our PR Colleen, is going to shoot the TikTok Live video we were talking about, to give the people a few looks of the set and all the people working here. I don't know what she has exactly planned, but prepare to get involved." Anne said, before turning to face you and Tom. "Especially you two, Tom and Y/N. I think I don't have to explain why." The cast and crew nodded and agreed, thankful for the reminder. This was announced to take place when you had the first read - so quite a few months ago. Hardly anybody still thought of it. "Alright. Ten-minute break!" The circle, in which the whole crew stood around Anne dissolved and everybody went his way for the break. You and Tom as well, heading for the food tent to get a small snack. You were positively hungry; shooting since 5 a.m. in the morning, with nothing but a quick bowl of muesli. Now it was 11 a.m. and your stomach demanded some food, but an apple for the both of you had to do for now. Lunch was scheduled at 1 p.m.

After another round of filming and the long-awaited lunch, you headed with Tom inside the studio for the rest of the break. Shooting went well at this day and since you started this early, you were finished around 4 p.m.

"Alexander..." You practically fake moaned, while trying to shove Tom away from you, while he had you trapped against the small desk, kissing and sucking your neck. "Not now, not here. The process starts in ten minutes. I have to go in court." Tom - aka Alexander just ignored you, like he had to and instead pulled up your tight, black skirt and hoisted you up on the said desk, stepping in between your legs to 'block the view'. "A-Alex..." You desperately 'tried' to get out of this situation. "We can't. If someone sees us..." The director gave you a signal, letting you know that this was the moment, where Victoria would hear somebody approaching the tiny office. "Fuck." You cursed and pushed Tom entirely away from you - he let you, because the script told him to. The scene ended with you frantically fixing your skirt and blouse, as the sound of the door getting ripped open echoed through the set. "And cut!" Anne announced, before she started to clap. "Wonderful work today, guys!"

After another short speech from the friendly woman, you and Tom headed for the trailers to get out of costume and make up. "You did that last scene so perfectly." Tom said with a smile. "Thanks, but I think that scene was very difficult." The Brit's eyebrows lifted. "Really, darling? Why's that?" "Well, how am I supposed to resist you, huh? When you kiss me like that and try to seduce me with that sexy, evil smile! Gods, I was one second away from just starting to rip your clothes off!" Tom chuckled. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but that's my job." "Pft." You scoffed, but couldn't help but giggle as well. When you reached the trailers, you split up and agreed to meet later again. "Meet me outside the make-up trailer?" "Sure, darling." While you and your boyfriend were getting out of costume, Colleen arrived on the set and prepared everything for the TikTok Live stream. Little did you know that meeting Tom outside the trailer was going to light the blue touchpaper...

Tom awoke the following morning before you, tickled awake by the sunlight. Deciding to stand up, Tom swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up. Tiptoeing out of the spacious room, in order not to wake you, he made his way towards his kitchen to prepare breakfast. Though, the man made a quick stop at the bathroom and slipped in a pair of fresh boxers and loose grey sweatpants. Therefore, that it was Saturday, both you and him didn't need to be in a hurry to get to work today. Switching on the coffee machine, he grabbed his phone and turned on the WIFI. It wasn't uncommon for the Brit to have a ton of text messages - mostly from his family, friends or well, Luke. Lots of emails weren't abnormal, too, but the amount of Twitter and Instagram notifications shocked him quite a bit. Tom didn't even know why. With a frown, he opened Instagram and saw the dozens of comments underneath his last post. His eyes scanned the said comments, reading what the people had to say. The lot of them were pretty much the same, coursing around one specific topic... Your relationship.

'Tom and Y/N are really together now???'

'You and Y/N are such a sweet couple!'

'They are together? Really? Oh god no...'

'Well... Better than Taylor.'

It was utterly confusing to Tom. Why did the whole world suddenly know about this? They were so careful and adamant to keep this private, because they both knew how toxic the social media and press could be, and now that? But then he stumbled across the next comments...

'I knew the rumours were true and now we have the proof!'

'I don't think they meant to make this public... It was an accident.'

'C'mon, guys! Let 'em be! They seemed so happy in that video!'

Proof? Video? What were they talking about? The answer to his question got literally slapped into his face, as soon as he opened Twitter. The actor's explore tab was literally flooded by snippets of the TikTok livestream the team's PR had been filming yesterday. Tom couldn't help but to click on one of the posted videos, causing his eyes to widen in shock. In the scene could be seen Colleen, of course. She was talking about the movie and set. Everything seemed normal, but then... She turned to face the trailers and suddenly two people appeared in the background, dressed in normal clothes, hugging and kissing each other. The Brit's eyes widened in shock. The two people were you and him. There was no mistaking. It was as clear as daylight and completely obvious. Yours and Tom's face clearly recognisable. "Fuck..." Tom cursed under his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. How could you and him be so... reckless? You both acted headless, knew very well that your PR agent was going to make a sightseeing tour through the set. Colleen definitely wasn't the one to blame for this... You and Tom had brought this upon yourself, being the two idiots in love you were. But one thing was certain... You were absolutely not going to like this. He just hoped that the world was kind to you now...

"Y/N?" Tom knocked gently on the bathroom door, after he had heard you getting up over an hour ago and heading for the bathroom. It wasn't unusual for you to take your time in the morning, but that you didn't come out after such a long time, started to slightly worry him. He received no answer. "Darling, are you alright?" Still no answer. "Can I come in?" No response. Tom pondered on what to do. Usually, he wouldn't just invade your privacy, despite the fact that he was your boyfriend, but this had something to do with respect - at least that was what the Brit thought. But now, that he didn't get an answer and didn't know if you were okay or not, he was conflicted. When he was on the verge of just turning around and walking away, he suddenly heard some muffled cries, coming from the inside of the room. That was when Tom threw his 'good manners' of respecting privacy over board for once and literally stormed into the bathroom. He found you sitting on the floor, leaned against the heater. You were hugging your legs to your chest and had your face buried in your thighs. You were audibly crying; sobs wrecking your delicate body - and suddenly Tom had a very bad feeling.

He approached you cautiously, slowly - not to startle you and squatted down in front of you. "Y/N, love..." The worried Brit addressed you in a gentle voice; almost whispering. "What's wrong?" Tom then asked and placed a big hand on your side, stroking with his thumb over the clothed skin there. You didn't answer him right away. When you noticed his presence, you literally lunged forwards to hug him, almost causing the man to tip over, but he caught himself and you, wrapping you up in a tight embrace. He sat down on the floor, with your body clinging to him like a koala to a palm tree. Hot tears started to wet his bare skin, as you buried your head in the crook of his neck. "T-They know, T-Tom..." You mumbled. "T-They know..." The man knew of course exactly what you meant. "I know, love, I know - and I'm so sorry." Another sob wrecked your body, as the next wave of tears rolled down your cheeks at the dreadful thoughts, running through your mind. It was like a déjà-vu for you... The publicity was getting whiff of it, it was raining mostly hate comments and the press criticised you - and in the end destroying everything, ruining whatever it was for you. It seemed like everything you did and every decision you made was a thorn in the publicity's side. No matter if professional or personal, you always seemed to do the wrong thing. It was like a curse. Perhaps it was, who knew?

"T-They are going t-to destroy it, T-Tommy... T-They are going t-to destroy us, I k-know it. It's always the s-same." You felt how your boyfriend vehemently shook his head. "No, they won't destroy this; us. They won't. I'm not going to let it happen, okay?" Now you were shaking your head. "They always do. It's j-just a matter of t-time." "No, Y/N. Not this time. What we have is wonderful, good... The publicity just needs to accustom to this. To us starring in a film together and falling in love in real life as well. They have to accustom to this, because I won't let you go." His words felt so warm and loving and promising. Your head didn't want to believe him, but the problem was, that your heart did - and that was your mind's downfall. "R-Really? Y-You think?" Tom nodded and pulled back to look into your red, glassy eyes. "Yes." He said with a soft smile, cupping your cheeks. "You're mine now - after all these years, you are finally mine and you'll always be." At those words your heart almost bursted from all the love you felt for this man. "I love you, darling." A soft smile grazed your lips. "I love you, too." Over the next days you purposefully stayed away from social media, distancing yourself from the toxic environment. Tom told you to - and it was the best decision. Although, you struggled at first a bit, having the urge to know what the people thought of you, especially after the lot of tabloids had released several photos of that TikTok livestream as well. But you made it and this 'detoxification' was like heart-balm. Your mind started to align with your heart, believing for the first time that this could really work out. Tom's positivity got to you as well, after he had started to read at least one positive comment written under his posts every day.

The lot of the publicity received it favourably, but a haunting figure from your past didn't...

After almost two week of your social media deprivation, you decided to get back to it. By now, the fuss about your and Tom's relationship had died down again. Sure, there were always people who had something to say, but it was much less than two weeks ago. Another thing Tom told you was to ignore the hate and not even bothering to read those comments. They weren't worth it, he had said. "Focus on the positivity and kindness of the people." That was a difficult thing for you as well, but you tried so hard and, in the end, mostly made it to not give a fuck. Things were suddenly looking better and you dared to say that you have never been this happy in a long time. Unfortunately, the next mistake was quickly made… A post. You just had the feeling to do this, because of all the lovely comments Tom had presented to you. The majority of his fans seemed to love and accept you, therefore you decided to do this. Be brave, you thought. Show the people that you're proud and happy and not ashamed.

Your mobile vibrated inside the pocket of your jeans, informing you about the incoming notification. You were currently sitting in the make-up trailer, so you had the time to check on it. Perhaps it was one of your brothers? Or your mum? It wasn't. Your face fell, when you saw the Instagram notification, telling you it was none other than Nate, leaving a comment under your post. You tried to resist the urge to read it, because you knew it was certainly nothing positive, but you couldn't. You had to know. So, you opened the app and made the next mistake to take a look...

'Screwing through the acting world now? Who's next after Hiddleston? Chris Evans? Andrew Garfield? Or maybe even Henry Cavill?'

You swallowed hard, felt the lump forming in your throat. Yes, Nate was your ex and an absolute asshole. You knew that you shouldn't give a fuck about his stupid and childish behaviour, but nevertheless... His comment didn't fail to hit you. Perhaps it was the fact how utterly sour this relationship had turned... From deeply in love to toxic hatred. But who knew? "Y/N?" You didn't even notice that Camille - your personal make-up artist called your name. "Y/N? You still with me?" You blinked and shook your head slightly. "Yes, sorry. I was in thoughts." "I noticed that. Everything okay?" You nodded, faking a smile. "Sure."

In fact, nothing was alright. His comment occupied you the whole day, 'causing you to just push yourself through acting today. Nobody noticed - except for one man... "Y/N?" Tom approached you after the scene he had just shot, wearing this incredibly tight suit he so often wore on set. You would praise the costume designers forever for this. "Hey." A soft smile graced your lips as you greeted him. "Is everything alright, darling? You seem to be so... absent-minded. Is something bothering you?" His handsome face was tinged with worry. A defeated sigh escaped your lips. You knew it was only a matter of time, until Tom was going to notice it. He always knew. He always noticed. "It's Nate... He commented the post I made a few days ago..." You could tell how Tom's demeanour immediately shifted. "What did he comment?" You took a deep breath, trying to hold back the upcoming tears. "Screwing through the acting world now? Who's next after Hiddleston? Chris Evans? Andrew Garfield? Or maybe even Henry Cavill?" You quoted Nate's comment; already knew it by heart. It had burnt itself into your memory. Tom scoffed in shock. "He commented that?" You nodded, unable to form words. "Who the hell does he think he is?! What a dick. I'm going to-" "No, please, no." You interrupted your boyfriend. "Whatever it is you wanted to say... No. When I learned one thing in the past months, then to better not hit back at him. Ignoring him is the best. Annoys him the most." Tom's oceanic blues pierced your Y/E/C ones. "Are you sure about this, darling?" Once again you nodded. "Yes. I-I'm just going to delete it." Now it was your boyfriend's turn to nod. "Alright..." You swallowed hard and looked away, not able to face Tom any longer. Nate's comment probably hurt you more than you thought... Mere seconds later, you felt two strong hands on your upper arms, gripping them gently. "Hey... Don't listen to him, darling. Don't let him get to you. He's a jerk. A jealous, frustrated, childish jerk. This utterance is absolute shit, and do you know why?" You lifted your head once again, glassy eyes facing him. "W-Why?" A sweet, soft smile appeared on Tom's face; love radiating in his blue orbs. "Because I will never let you go again." His words warmed your heart and lifted you out of your misery. He never failed to make you smile. Launching forwards, you wrapped your arms around him, literally clinging onto him. "Thanks, Tommy." You felt how he slid his arms around you as well, pulling you close. "Always."

Unfortunately, the small high didn't last long. Just as you crawled out of that dark hole again, you fell down the next, only two days later...

You and Tom had planned to have a romantic dinner tonight, since it was date night, but a short-term scheduled interview threw your plans over board. Instead of sitting in a cosy, private corner of a restaurant, with a glass of wine in your hands, you found yourself sitting on a director's chair with Tom beside you in one of the studios you were filming at. Great. Yes, you loved your newfound passion of being an actress, but you really wanted to go on this date tonight, since it had been all planned out, but well... Life just wasn't fair, right?

A camera was directed on the two of you and the seemingly friendly lady opposite you. "Tom Hiddleston, Y/N Hemsworth, thank you for joining me tonight for this interview. It's a pleasure to meet you." Both, you and Tom smiled. "Thanks for having us." He replied, speaking for both of you. At first the interview was pretty normal, involved the standard questions like 'How is it to shoot a movie with such a star-studded cast?' and 'How is it to work with Anne Miles as a director?'. The usual stuff. You wouldn't say you had fun with this interview, but you all shared a few laughs together. Though, at some point the interview turned, got weirder with every question...

"Tom, how is it to shoot with somebody who has absolute no acting experience?" Yeah... The question was directed to your boyfriend, but it wasn't like you didn't sit right beside him and could hear it. You didn't think that the lady meant no offense, but nevertheless left the question a sour taste behind. You couldn't deny that it didn't sting a bit - and yet... It was nothing but the truth, reminding you of your lack of experience. When Tom delivered his answer, you felt a bit like back in school, when two classmates were talking about you in front of you, not giving a shit that you were right there. Though, Tom was the one who replaced the sourness of the question with the sweetness of his answer. "I wouldn't say Y/N is entirely inexperienced. She stood in front of cameras before. As a professional surfer and model. She's from an acting family, so she knows how it works. I think it's in her blood as well to some extent. Of course, we all helped her along a bit, especially I, because I'm the male lead character, but Y/N learned very fast and she is doing an absolute great job." He looked over to you, giving you a soft smile, which you returned. "Thank you." The next question of the interviewer interrupted the small moment you had with Tom. "And you don't say this, just because she's your girlfriend?" The lady asked with a giggle. Was it meant to be a joke? If yes, both you and Tom didn't get it. He shook his head, stayed absolutely serious. "No. It was entirely a professional answer." Or perhaps the woman used it as a springboard to ask you and Tom about your relationship. "Alright. Speaking of it... You confirmed the rumours saying you are in a relationship. Congrats, first off." Tom and you just knew that sooner or later you were going to get pestered about being a couple. At the latest at the premiere of 'The Moralizer' and the following press tour. Well... Seems like the lady opposite you was about to start the ball rolling. "Thank you." You and Tom answered in union to her congratulations. You and him discussed as well, how you were going to react to such questions and what you were going to say and how much of your private life you were going to reveal - but you didn't see the following question coming. "Y/N, your last relationship isn't that far dated back and the split-up was - or well, still is very dramatic and heated. According to these circumstances, is the relationship you two share now really something serious or is Tom just another getaway?" Low blow. That question was a literal punch in the guts. Frustration and anger started to simmer in your veins. Why would everybody think you were using Tom just as a getaway? Oh right, because of your 'bad reputation' and your ex being an absolute wanker. And Tom? Was he nothing more than a getaway now for women? Well, a lot of people seem to think that after Taylor. What a complete bullshit, you thought. You were ready to yell at the woman in front of you, tell her and all those toxic people how things really were - but Tom stopped you and answered before you could. He reached for your hand, took it in his and stroked his thumb in a reassuring manner gently over the skin on the back of your hand. He felt how angered you were by this question, no doubt. "We won't answer this question, apologies. This is our private life and we would like for it to stay private." Tom played off the question as nice and polite as possible, stayed as cool as a cucumber - and you thanked your lucky stars for this. God forbid to think what you would have started with an emotional outburst... "Understandable. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me."

After the interview, Tom and you went back to his home; remnants of anger from that last question still coursing through your veins. "I can't believe that she really asked this..." You said, plopping on the couch beside Tom, into his awaiting arm, which he immediately wrapped around your shoulders. "I know, darling... Sometimes interviewers can be mean and ask way too personal questions. You just need to learn to play it cool." You sighed, snuggling closer against your boyfriend's warm and comfortable body. "Yeah... Something I definitely still need to learn." "Don't worry, love. You are going to learn it. It comes with time." "I hope so... You know, back when I was a professional surfer - and even as a model, nobody asked me such questions. Perhaps, because everything was picture perfect with Nate back then, I don't know... I mean, I always had some way, somehow a target on my back, but this... This is new... Thanks for helping me out of this." You felt how Tom placed a soft kiss on your head. "Of course, darling. Anytime. We're a team, remember? We are in this together." You looked up to him, smiling. Oh how much you loved that man. "Thanks, baby. I love you so freaking much." A low, sweet chuckle rumbled through Tom's chest. "I love you even more, Y/N."

Tagging: @crimson25 @kikster606 @huntress-artemiss @123forgottherest @lovingchoices14 @ozymdias @vbecker10 @coldnique @lokixryss @simplyholl @peaches1958 @lokibadguy @jennyggggrrr @stephenstrangeaddictions @holymultiplefandomsbatman @gigglingtigger @mischief2sarawr @mypsychoticlove @mochie85 @muddyorbs @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @simping-for-marvel @lady-rose-moon @goblingirlsarah @kats72 @vickie5446 @buffyfan2833 @12-pm-510 @ladymischief11 @somewiseguy @woooonau @cabingrlandrandomcrap @alchemxx @honeyrydernot

[mr-independent]

Sorry for the hiatus, i haven't slept in 48 hours 🤷🏻‍♂️

Series 2 episode 1, lessgo

-- 7 consecutive ties is fucking ridiculous tbh. Statistically unlikely at best, especially since the dog died just so it could keep going

-- the slow mo is so good, you can tell their budget fucking tripled going into this series

-- i gotta wonder if the entire show has been planned from day one or if they just keep rewatching and keeping track of little things as they go

-- Keeley's imitation of Ted is hilarious

-- Ted making every journo nearly cry talking about a dog he had for only a year in high school... The power this man has. Especially over Trent, who looked as besotted as me in high school when i watched Independence Day for the first time and discovered that Jeff Goldblum could be nerdy, sweet, and Hot all at once

-- Ted. Diane Sawyer is 77 years old. Why do you want to date someone nearly 30 years older than you?? ... Ok yes fine thats hypocritical coming from me after that last bullet point. I concede my point.

-- Bearded Roy actually looks more like Grouch lmao

-- you know when i first watched this ep i thought Roy hated pundits bc he thought they were generally stupid, but knowing what we know now about his past with Trent Crimm....

-- 'i wish I was Keeley 3 or 4 times a day' me too, Ted, me too

-- Ted's introduction to girl talk 🥰

-- Beard subtly trying to convince Ted not all therapists are trying to fuck him over before we even know the background is so touching

-- WAIT THE COUPLES THERAPIST USED TO BE MICHELLES REGUALR THERAPIST??? And now they're dating??? That man is violating so many rules...

-- Roy probably only knows Rebecca through Keeley - she doesn't interact much with the players, at least on screen, and he's still telling her she deserves someone who makes her feel like she's got struck by lightning

-- Sharon getting people to tell the gods honest truth within like 5 sec of meeting them is such an enviable skill

-- Sassy coming in with the bars 'intimacy is leaving yourself open to being attacked'. Sounds like a lasso-ism tbh, which means Rebecca has a very particular taste in friends

-- Ted's hair when Dani gets over the yips is so endearingly tousled 😍

-- Dani describing Dr Sharon sounds like every time i try to talk abt therapy with my friends lmao. It's incomprehensible at best

-- How did Roy meet the yoga mums? Why did they invite this strange sour hairy man to their nights of yoga and the bachelor? I have many questions...

[tlbodine]

Two Lesser-Known 1970s Religious Horrors

Our random dice roll gave us "1970s religious horror" this week, which would have been an extremely simple request to fill...if we weren't trying to watch something new.

There are so many wonderful options for 1970s religious horrors, including:

The Omen

Carrie

The Exorcist

The Wickerman

Alice, Sweet Alice

Don't Torture a Duckling

But we did not watch any of those this week. We picked two movies more or less at random through a combination of Googling and narrowing down what we could find streaming. Which is how we landed at...

The Sentinel (1977) is directed by Michael Winner, based on a novel by Jeffrey Konvitz. The story is about a model whose new brownstone apartment is filled with a great deal of quirky denizens who are, um, not what they appear to be.

OK, I'll just go ahead and spoil it because this movie is very not-great: They're all dead. Everybody in the movie is in hell. The apartment is a hell mouth and now she has to become the new keeper of the gateway as punishment(?) for her suicide attempt (?)

When you type it out, this sounds like it will be cool. It is not. It is a plodding, boring mess that doesn't make much logical sense. It is, however, home to some delightful cameo appearances from baby versions of not-then-famous actors like Christopher Walken and Jeff Goldblum, which is a treat. But overall the experience of watching this film is like watching Rosemary's Baby, but incompetent.

We watched a movie a while back from China called Rigor Mortis that is very similar to this film except substantially better in every way imaginable. Go watch that one instead.

Beyond the Door (1974), directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis and Roberto Piazzoli, is an Italian-American co-production that has shlocky Italian horror fingerprints all over it. It's charming in a lot of ways, but not especially good.

The story: A man makes a pact with the devil to have his life spared if he can manage to successfully bring the Antichrist into the world. Slight complication is that the Antichrist is currently in the womb of his now-happily-married ex-girlfriend.

Interestingly, this movie got sued by The Exorcist for plagiarism, and they settled the suit, which I think is kind of surprising because while it definitely does rip off The Exorcist in places, it's also shamelessly ripping off Rosemary's Baby and The Omen and in a way that feels more like recycling tropes. Then again, the primacy of 1974 means probably these weren't tropes at that point. Still interesting to me.

This movie is...hm. It's very 1970s, and very Italian. It feels very well-worn. You have seen everything in this movie before, in better movies. But then there are some elements, like the devil's voice-over and the unintentional(?) homoeroticism that are intriguing. And then some, like the bizarrely edgy dialogue of the 10-year-old daughter, that are brow-raising. And then the ending is...uh. hm.

There's a different way to do this movie that would have been really interesting, but it's not this movie.

Both of these films were so dull that I had to go look up the titles again for this post because I immediately forgot them after watching.

[mostlygibberish]

"Jurassic World? Not a fan."

I liked the part with the bullet time.

I'd say that I'm not sure what the point of Jurassic World Dominion was, but like the rest of this trilogy, it clearly exists to profit off nostalgia for better movies.

The concept of dinosaurs now living freely around the globe was barely explored; There was about a five minute montage of dinosaurs attacking random people and making human lives generally worse. Instead they spent most of the movie in, get this, a large park built to contain dinosaurs which ultimately failed to contain the dinosaurs. This is what, the sixth time now?

What little plot this movie actually contained was weirdly focused on giant locusts instead of dinosaurs. For some reason the villain had been keeping these genetically modified super locusts around, even though their existence was evidence he wanted suppressed. He then arbitrarily decided to light them on fire after the protagonists had already gotten away with one. Despite being very flammable they were barely affected by being engulfed in flames, so they just flew around lighting his whole park on fire.

At the end of the movie they stopped the giant locusts by releasing a genetic virus that… did something to them I guess? The science guy just said "I can spread change from one locust to the entire swarm", without giving any details. A news report at the end praised him for his "use of a pathogen to alter the locust's DNA", again not actually explaining what it did to them or how it helped at all.

There were about two dozen characters and none of them were interesting, the action set pieces were either offensively stupid or just dreary, and the movie ended with a nonsensical, non-sequitur speech about co-existence with dinosaurs. The stuff about Isabella Sermon being a clone was as uninteresting as last time and her performance was remarkably bad, just making the same vaguely concerned expression regardless of what was happening in the scene.

The return of Laura Dern and Sam Neill felt as hollow as Jeff Goldblum's brief return in the last movie, and he was back to do nothing in this one too. There was this really bizarre scene where Dr. Grant risked his life for his hat, as though that was an important facet of his character or something like he's Indiana Jones? Also he sounded like he was poorly impersonating Liam Neeson. The fact that the villain was the guy Nedry met at the start of Jurassic Park stood out as an especially pointless callback, even among a sea of pointless callbacks.

The most strikingly bad aspect of this movie was the editing. Characters would be in different positions and poses between immediate perspective changes, making it clear that the thing had been chopped to all hell. None of the action scenes had danger or urgency, and the way every shot had like fourteen people in it excluded any potential sense of threat to an individual character.

What else can I complain about? Their cargo plane had three seats but one of them was an "ejector seat", complete with permanently open hole in the roof above it and a handheld device that tracked the position of the seat, presumably to be used by one of the two people who didn't have ejector seats and would probably die in the crash.

Chris Pratt pointed at a map of the park and asked "Where is that?", as though he wasn't literally pointing at map that showed where it was. Oh yeah, and this was the extended edition that allegedly improved the movie in some way.

Another bland, soulless cash grab. Just terrible.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Jurassic Park (Spielberg, 1993)

Scattered observations on the 3D re-release:

I don’t remember at what age I first watched the movie, but when I was ten years old, my parents got me the Special Edition VHS (which included a second cassette with extensive making-of features), at which point I proceeded to watch the movie every single day for…at least a few months, quite possibly a year. I don’t rewatch movies with anywhere near the same frequency these days, so it’s safe to say that I’ve seen this more times than any other movie. The point is, I know this movie like the back of my hand, and in particular, certain musical cues elicit a Pavlovian response from me at this point. And by certain, I mean pretty much all the significant ones, and seeing this for the first time in a theatre, with the John Williams score booming through the sound system, I had chills going down my spine for practically the entire runtime. Okay, maybe the air conditioner played a part too.

This is being re-released into select theatres for its thirtieth anniversary in a 3D version that I believe was actually made a decade ago for its twentieth anniversary. The 3D has obvious benefits for the many scenes of spectacle (all of which are iconic), in particular because Spielberg’s blocking and shot compositions here stress the sense of depth and perspective. (For an obvious example, go to the first T-Rex attack and note how often we look over a character’s shoulder or through a window or have anything in the foreground for scale.) But the visual strategy is so consistent throughout the movie that it bears unexpected benefits in the dialogue scenes. Take the scene where Hammond is talking to the scientists and Ian Malcolm is dropping some cold, hard truths about the folly of man in bending nature to his will. It seems a little more profound with the extra dimension. (On a side note, I guess I took it for granted just how quotable this movie is. “When you gotta go, you gotta go.” “Hold on to your butts.” Etc, etc. The only bad bit of dialogue was Ellie Sattler’s speech about taking power for granted, which shouldn’t have passed the first draft.) Also take the scene where the characters interrupt their tour to go see the triceratops. The big pile of shit is even bigger in 3D. Thankfully the movie wasn’t released in smell-o-vision.

Like a lot of people, I went through a Michael Crichton phase in my teens, and I remember the source novel being one of his better books. But while Crichton is skilled at crafting technobabble-infused page-turners, Spielberg solutions pretty effectively for his shortcomings at character development. Most notably, Ian Malcolm in the book is a know-it-all who has the right opinion 100% of the time and also happens to agree with Crichton on every key issue. This probably holds true with the movie as well, but by casting Jeff Goldblum, the character is allowed to be twitchy, off-putting and alive in ways he isn’t in the novel. (As Hammond remarks, "I really hate that man." He's also allowed to be sexy, as anyone who remembers the scene in the emergency bunker where he has his shirt open can attest.) The same goes for the rest of the characters, who are played by a murderer’s row of character actors. I could just rattle off the entire cast list, but a few choices Spielberg makes I found particularly astute include making Alan Grant initially annoyed by children so that he gets something of an arc, combining the treacherous Ed Regis and the lawyer Donald Gennaro into just the latter and allowing Martin Ferrero to put his comedic talents to use. I also understand that Wayne Knight was cast after Spielberg saw him in Basic Instinct, where he used some of the same tics of nervous muttering, profuse sweating and looking down through his classes in a particular way that he repurposes here with more sinister intent. He also has some of that disgruntled quality from his role in Seinfeld. This is probably the best casting choice in the movie. (On a side note, the further I get in my career, the more relatable Dennis Nedry becomes, and the more common skimping on IT spend seems to be a problem. “Don't get cheap on me, Dodgson. That was Hammond's mistake.”)

The most drastic change in characterization is probably turning Hammond from a POS to a kindly old man. Crichton plays him too obviously as a villain, and certain Richard Attenborough could have pulled that off, but I think Spielberg turning him into a more sympathetic figure complicates the material interestingly. I think as something of a mogul himself, Spielberg identifies readily with Hammond’s motivations, and is willing to seek the beauty in these possibilities and present us with images that might take our breath away. (Exhibit A: The first shot of the brontosauruses, built up with reaction shots, then making great use of the height of the frame and the silhouettes of the actors in the foreground before giving us a complete view.) He wants the park to succeed, even if in the back of his head he knows it will fail. To paraphrase a quote about Samuel Fuller, when it comes to dinosaur parks, only the point of view of someone who has been tempted is of any interest. (Compare this to Jurassic World, where the dinosaurs are readily dismissed with ironic distance, and you’ll see what the difference in worldview offers in basic spectacle.) Spielberg is also technophilic when it comes to capturing computer displays, indicator lights and the like, all captured lovingly while being milked for tension.

Obviously, seeing this in a theatre helped me to really soak in the set pieces, but as I’ve seen this movie like a hundred times (and quite possible more), this time around I really took note of the timing. There’s the scene where Nedry steals the embryos, which feels like something out of Mission: Impossible. (I know these guys all watch each other’s movies, and I wonder if De Palma pulled a little bit from this scene.) And a particularly strong sequence juggles Muldoon hunting the raptors with Sattler trying to turn the power back on with Hammond and Malcolm’s guidance and Grant and the kids trying to get over the giant fence. It would be one thing if it was played all relentlessly, but I love the way the movie lets you grasp the relationships between the different lines of action entirely visually (the camera panning down the switches a little faster than Sattler flips them) and occasionally lulls you into a false sense of security (Grant having a goof with the kids before they begin their climb). Just a masterclass in editing. This Spielberg guy is a pretty good director, huh?

I’ve seen this movie countless times but this was my first time seeing it in a theatre, and guess what? It’s still great.

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello! Hope you have a lovely holiday ❤️

On Christmas spirit, SwedishFishAL(at this point), didn’t make a holiday post, the one Michael did, sound so plastic and calculated, just a generic phrase. Happy holidays you all

Hi, Anon! Thank you so much. I hope you had a lovely holiday, too!

Yes, I did notice the absence of a holiday post from AL on social media, and the presence of the one from Michael:

My first impression upon seeing this was a mix of amusement and curiosity, because the reemergence of goblin!Sheen is very much in line with how he used to post on Twitter in 2019. I know many things have changed since then, of course, but AL has posted pictures of her and Michael on previous holidays (which have also been, erm...something...given how drunk he looks in all of them), and yesterday would have been a perfect opportunity to post another “couple” photo alongside the one posted by Georgia.

Yet things do seem to be different this time around, for more than one reason. Of course, it could be obviously attributed to them being in Australia and all the related stress due to Amadeus (which opens tomorrow, amazingly). But having read this article just the other day, I do feel like there may be more going on than we know. (AL’s family flying in from Sweden? Everyone getting sick recently? It feels as if there is a lot of stress in general from multiple sources, but when you put it all together, it seems like the cracks are beginning to show.)

Again, purely being objective, the lack of a post from AL could mean absolutely nothing, but the other thing that comes to my mind was her not making a post about Michael for Father’s Day earlier this year...especially after having had another baby of his just one month prior. So, no post for Father’s Day, and now no post for Christmas is a bit curious, and does make you wonder.

All that being said, it’s also curious that Michael posted a holiday picture of himself and not one with the family, as many other celebs have done (this one of Jeff Goldblum with his wife and kids comes to mind). I am sure there was a reason Michael posted what he did, but again, it does make you wonder, especially when the caption says “Much love from us,” but Michael is the only one in the picture.

Well, with any luck, Georgia will soon make another reference to Michael in her birthday post. So that is something to hopefully look forward to...

[safyresky]

Alright so Ive been having Crystal Springs Actor!Au thoughts where CS is just a live action series (the outtakes/blooper reels I have in my head about this are perfection) BUT! Do you have any irl people that serve as inspiration for how your ocs physically look? Are any of them based on how someone looks in real life.

BONUS: if you had to make an irl cast list to play your ocs irl who would you choose?

Okay. So. Jacqueline. 100%. Was a self insert OC. I am NOT afraid to admit that, and when I say "she is me I am she" I am NOT even joking. (But also I am not delusional lmao, I knwo we're not the SAME PERSON). So I guess Jacqueline SORTA looks like me????? It's funny, she's the ONE CHARACTER IN MY HEAD THAT I DO NOT HAVE A VERY CLEAR IDEA OF HOW SHE LOOKS BC I GO RIGHT. ME. SHE ME. Then I go ANYWAY and sip my iced cappuccino filled with chocolate milk and move on and try not to think too much about it, lol.

Blaise has some inspiration from my partner in crime, the fiance himself, Richard! He gets the shoulders and hair that goes UP from Richard. He's just a bit more square but even then, Richard's main shape I'd say is square. I insist that he doesn't though because it bothers Richard but I am a LIAR. Blaise has Richard vibes and that was on purpose.

But yeah, aside from that, no! Nobody else in CS has looks they share with IRL people I know. When I was 11/12 and making the Frosts, I was like "I'll just use my mom and dad and siblings!" but that was just not feasible bc I couldn't reconcile how they acted (bad) with how the Frosts would act (good), so that idea never flew. My Mom and Dad are just okay at best, Blinter tho? Blinter???? They are ROCK STARS and I want EVERYONE to NEVER FORGET IT

Their relationship is 50% based on me and Richard, and the other 50% is Gomez and Morticia from the 1964 series, mainly :)

Midnight, one of the Time Keepers, was 100% based on my best friend back at home in looks! But aside from those little bits and pieces, most of the cast of CS does not resemble people I know IRL.

AS FOR YOUR BONUS. OH BOY

So I have 0 thoughts on cast for live action. BUT. CAST FOR ANIMATED SERIES? I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS.

Mark Hamil would be Blaise! I think he could pull it off, man's got the RANGE and Blaise has a very specific voice in my head! For Winter, the closest I could get is Emma Thompson with how she sounds in my head. Jacqueline stole my voice, so we've got that going for us! I'd straight up fight any potential Jacqueline actors, I'd be like THERE CAN ONLY BE O N E (me). Besides, most creators of animated shows do one or two voices, so you BET I'd cash in on that >:)

Twins, I've got zero idea who'd voice them. Obvi, Marty is Jack and you can't just replace talent like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

And Pyros, lmao, I think it'd be funny if Jeff Goldblum voiced him >:). I like the thought. No I will not elaborate (I simply, cannot!)

Ana has some gr8 ideas for Elle if I remember correctly (Zendaya?!?!?!?!) But in my head, Elle sounds like Ana 🙃🙃🙃🙃.

UNFORTUNATELY that's about as far as I've gotten! I also briefly thought Meryl Streep as Winter, but Emme Thompson sounds sooo much closer to Winter in my head that she beat Meryl, the absolute legend.

For the rest of CS characters, I'd want the most UNHINGED VAs possible. The most chaotic actors you can imagine. Feels good, feels right.

OH I'd also replace Scott with Tom Hanks, because A) I like him and B) Tom Hanks (Woody) yelling YOU ARE A TOY and shoving Tim Allen (Buzz) off a roof is a very funny mental image that makes me feel better in the worst of times! :D

[the-cat-chat]

October 15, 2022

The Fly 2 (1989)

The almost-human son of "Brundlefly" searches for a cure to his mutated genes while being monitored by a nefarious corporation that wishes to continue his father's experiments.

JayBell: Well well well...what to say about this gem. I went into this movie knowing that is was going to be a shit show. And it was! In that way, I guess you could say it met my expectations exactly.

I actually didn’t mind the plot on paper. The idea of a lab-raised, monster-spawn, former child experiment going on a justified rampage of revenge sounds pretty fun. I also liked the idea of Martin curing himself with the same machine that led to his disease. They even give Martin an interesting moral dilemma: you can cure yourself but only if you doom another person in exchange. The execution is where it falls apart entirely.

The writing is just not good, and the acting leaves much to be desired. The character motivations are juvenile. The lab’s supposed purpose is to use the teleporting machine in order to cure people, and they really want Martin to turn into Martinfly so they can kill and study him. But why? How is studying his dead monster corpse going to help the lab at all? The lab’s handling of Martin’s case is unrealistic even for this super unrealistic scenario.

Watching the romance was painful, and I wish they focused more on Martin’s treatment at the lab and less on romance. For one, they actually time skip over the development of the whole relationship (also what’s with the stupid fly fishing gag??). So I never developed any attachment to them as a couple at all. And when they had their big “conflict,” it didn’t really have the impact that it should have. The resolution happens like two minutes later with no drama and no consequences, so what’s the point of having that conflict at all?

A few other things to note: the doctor/lab lady was mean and cruel for no discernible reason at all, and the random security guard was similarly perverted just to be perverted and provide “conflict.” He also has an unreasonable amount of power for a guard.

On a slightly positive note, it’s just as gross as you’d expect it to be, which makes it gory and disturbing (all good for a horror movie).

All in all, it felt like they were trying to force a repeat of The Fly, but with worse writing, less emotional impact, and none of the charisma of Jeff Goldblum.

Rating: 2.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I thought The Fly (1986) was traumatizing. Okay?? And yes, I thought about it for days after we watched it. Okay?? But this, THIS….. was somehow more horrifically traumatic than the 1986 movie. Okay??? And AT LEAST in that one we get to stare at a shirtless, nerdy, young Jeff Goldblum that despite the terrible hair…. (let’s just all be honest) was a looker. OKAY!!!! I will think about this until I black it out from my entire brain.

I knew it would be bad, but come on. The whole concept is out there, sure, but this this was Baaaaad. I thought the 5.1/10 on the internet was just haters not knowing true art when it was right in front of their faces. No a 5.1 is generous. The story is sooo boring and sloooooooow. And the concept that he’s five years old….just without anymore detail….. just gross. And why was the security guard such a gross freak?

And my bigggggest complaint is the dog. The poor dog! And how did they make it look like that?? And it was sooo sad. I had to look away. Actually scratch that, I have another complaint that might be more pressing. Had ANY of these people EVER seen a FLY????? Like it wasn’t enough to do the usual thing for special effects like they did in the first one- no they did that and then more! Like this thing was a giant evil gremlin. And the weird cocoons and goo on things. Ugggg. And scratch that bc my actual complaint that will haunt me FOREVER is Mr. Bartok getting what he deserves and being turned into a giant blob with just an eye and some teeth hanging out. I’m DONE. It was gross. Like they somehow did a good job with these awful things while also doing a terrible job. And I don’t know which has scarred me for life.

And least just be honest with ourselves okaaay for my own sanity. DO NOT tell me that there was no way Jeff Goldblum couldn’t have figured out how to turn himself completely human again. And THAT, that’s where the real problem of all of this lies.

Rating: 2/10 🪰 flies (it’s disrespectful we watched this the week before Jeff Goldblum turned 70)

[alaffy]

X-Men ’97, Ep.1x07 – Bright Eyes (spoilers)

Like the last episode, this episode is setting us for the 3-part finale.  However, while the last episode was heavy on character development (as it only focused on two former X-Men), this episode…well, there’s still character development, but quite a bit comes secondary to getting the final pieces in place. 

The episode starts with Gambit’s funeral.  I like the fact that they brought back Gambit’s brother, find it somewhat strange that his ex is there (considering how that ended), and confused about one of the funeral attendees (is that one of the women from Alpha Flight?  Did they meet in an episode?).  Jubilee is upset because Rouge isn’t there, but Nightcrawler makes it clear that, given what they experienced in Genosha, there’s a reason for it.

And that reason is revenge.  Rouge is trying to track down where the Government is hiding Henry Gyrich.  In doing so, she breaks into a bunker built to withstand The Hulk (hello, General Ross) and, uh, I hope Captain America has a tracker on his shield otherwise that baby’s gone.  But with Captain America Rouge finds out about a secret group within the Government (like the other 12 dozen secret groups).  More importantly, this leads Rouge to finding out where Gyrich is. 

Meanwhile, Cyclops is talking to President Kelly, who has decided to stop the search and rescue in Genosha.  Also, Kelly has to be careful with…let’s just be blunt.  Everyone is afraid of a war starting and no one wants to be seen as someone who’s joining the “Mutant” side.  So, the X-men go to Genosha themselves. 

And here I’m just going to go through a few things quickly to get them out of the way.  Jubilee is able to convince Roberto to tell his Mother the truth about him being a mutant.  Turns out his mother already had figured it out; but now wants to make sure others don’t know about his true nature (bad for business).

Trish comes to cover Genosha, but shows she really doesn’t understand what tact means (not that that’s too much of a surprise after episode 5). Beast ends up giving her the brush off (you can find better, Beast…actually, you did find better.  What happened to the women who’s eyesight he helped restore?). 

Jean and Cyclops show they are the ultimate multitaskers as they look for survivors/deal with their marriage drama.  Oh, and Emma turned into her diamond form and survived.

Trask is able to contract the X-Men and tell them where to find one of the super-secret bad guy lairs (as well as tell of the evils of diet cola).

Meanwhile, Rouge has found Gyrich.  He refuses to tell Rouge where Trask is or what is going on, so she uses her powers on him.  Later, as Gyrich recovers, he is visited by the big bad of the season (who does a very good job sounding like Jeff Goldblum).  And, let’s be honest here, even though we watched a massacre not two episodes ago, you can’t deny watching Gyrich slowly being suffocated on screen wasn’t shocking.  I mean, there are shows for adults that would cut away from that kind of scene. 

Meanwhile, Rouge is recovering from…everything...when the X-Men find her.  It actually is a beautiful scene.  However, this is already so long so let’s move on to the bad guy layer.  The X-Men are able to get inside and see Trask seemingly about to jump from the building.  And you know shit’s about to get bad when someone starts comparing themselves to Oppenheimer.  Anyway, Trask gives out some cryptic words and tries to jump from the building…only to be saved by Rouge.  Well, sort of.  She just wanted to make sure he didn’t have anything else to tell them, and when he doesn’t, she drops him off the building.

Morph is horrified, Wolverine isn’t, and the rest of the X-Men are in shock.  Rouge tries to justify what she did, but she’s blasted from behind.  Uh, Trask is a zombie Sentinel.  Trask is a zombie Sentinel with the powers of Nimrod.  And it looks like the X-Men are about to be taken out…but then Cable arrives and is able to temporarily stop Trask.  Jean (accidentally?) reads his mind and Scott looks into Cable’s eyes and realizes he’s Nathan. 

And to wrap this up.  We have a meeting between Mr. Sinister and the big bad, a human/Sentinel hybrid named Baston.  Afterwards, Baston goes to a barbar shop where he has Magneto strapped to a chair (with a collar on) and has an evil monologue while “Purple People Eater” plays in the background (because Baston’s purple).  Seriously, though, Bastion is fucking creepy in this scene and dear god, the shaving. Animated be damned, that was chilling.

So, what will be interesting to see in the next season is where they will go with Rouge.  Because she killed a man.  I mean, he had been genetically modified and so he didn’t die/or was already dead/whatever these creatures are.  But she meant to kill him and this will lead to some of the decisions she makes in the last few episodes.  But what happens when that decision catches up with her?  I mean, they could just not bring it up again; but this show seems to be much better with actions having consequences, so we’ll just see.        

[hectormcfilm]

The Life Aquatic

This is Wes Anderson's most controversial film and his worst received when it comes to critics and audiences... and I do understand why. To start off the protagonist is played by Bill Murray, I have nothing against Bill Murray as a real life person but I haven't been impressed by one of his performances since Ghostbusters or Groundhog Day in the 80s and early 90s. Most of his performances especially in the 2000s feel very similar and his delivery is very repetitive, giving off the energy that he is bored and uninterested in the projects he's involved in. I felt this issue throughout this film as he was quite unengaging to watch and didn't have the charisma of an Owen Wilson. I also have problems with the main character overall, I don't believe he was given enough personal comeuppance after being such an arrogant and unlikable protagonist throughout, having scenes of unnecessary slurs against gay people was also quite uncomfortable and can't be excused by the time it was made as this is relatively new. The main character has his moments of realising he is in the wrong then gets Owen Wilson killed after which made it feel like his arc stagnated as after having a resolution the death happened, felt out of order.

Similar to Darjeeling limited this film is obviously the in-between period of Wes truly realising his style because this film for most of the runtime doesn't feel very Wes Anderson. The least Wes part and honestly weakest portion of this film is the pirate subplot and the action scenes. To start with this subplot didn't really link to the rest of the narrative and felt quite redundant as well as halting the pace, this is Wes' longest film and it definitely felt it. I really disliked the shootouts, the first one was incredibly unrealistic and stupid as Bill Murray takes on a whole band of pirates with machine guns and wins, I thought it was a dream sequence at first due to the distorted sound and overly unbelievable nature of the scene, pushing my suspension of disbelief to the limit. It was the exact same with the second shootout, even having Jeff Goldblum get shot point blank and not only survive but get up and run away.

A few random observations I had watching this were for one, Wes seems to mainly just write characters and especially protagonists that are rich and successful, they usually have a similar arc of accepting themselves or changing from being arrogant and letting go of their riches, finding what is truly important. Life Aquatic, Darjeeling, Royal Tenenbaums and arguably Fantastic Mr Fox could all fit into this. Also I do believe Wes' inner circle of actors limits his films uniqueness as no one brings there best performances, even an actor like Willam Defoe who can be excellent in films like the lighthouse seems one note in this.

One thing I really enjoyed and wanted more of was the underwater sequences, they were refreshing and colourful and the stop motion was beautiful. I wasn't a fan of the CGI pink fish but they were used sparingly. I also loved the framing of the story as a documentary and the opening and ending scene being premier. And obviously the best part of this movie was the set design of the ship itself, just so fun and creative. Overall this is probably Wes Anderson's weakest but still some entertaining and creative elements.

[russell-crowe]

6-10 for movie ask!

i am not sure if you meant 6 and 10 or 6 up until 10, but because i have a Too Much Talking Gene i decided to go for all of them <3

6. A horror movie you like

The horror genre is not among my favourites, so I tend to avoid horror movies. I do like Jordan Peele's approach to the genre, by moving more into playing with people's and society's real horrors and fucking around with it. Purely based on what Letterboxd labels as horror, my favourites that I have seen are The Lighthouse (2019), A Quiet Place (2018), Take Shelter (2011), Naboer (2005), Shaun of the Dead (2004), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) and Jaws (1975).

Our of those I want to give a special shout out to Naboer (2005) because I love how Kristoffer Joner looks covered with blood like the little rat man he is in that movie.

7. A sci-fi movie you like

Sci-fi is also a true hit or miss with me, but I tend to be more in favour of the genre than horror (I am a wimp, I am sorry). Not to sound like a Ridley Scott wh*re, but The Martian (2015) is an example of a sci-fi movie I really like. I liked the pacing, the humour and the attempt at realism. My favourite sci-fi movie is probably Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) because it is so comforting <3. And I also like the Jurassic Park franchise, but since meeting Jeff Goldblum I have not rewatched it because he is the only celeb I have met who turned out to be a dick. I hope to come back to the franchise though because [kisses Spielberg with tongue]

8. A fantasy movie you like

... I feel like it gets clearer and clearer that I am mostly a drama hoe. Out of the ones that Letterboxd labels as fantasy, I most like The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013). I really like the trope of people embarking on journeys to seek their identity and to escape certain elements of their life, and I feel like this movie just really nails that subject. <3

9. A movie in your native language you like

Honestly the only good movies we make are somewhat related to war, so I am stubbornly not going there and recommending a kids movie instead. Minoes (2001) is a movie about a cat turning into a woman - I rewatched it recently and it is actually.... still really charming and the cats are SO CUTE.

10. A foreign-language movie you like

I watch mostly foreign (for me) language films and Nordic cinema is my jam... I thought about not going for any of those as it feels like a cheap answer, but I feel like I can get away with it if I pick an Icelandic movie, considering I really do not grasp the Icelandic language out of the Nordic ones.

My absolute, absolute favourite one is Fúsi (2015) - the international title does it dirty with Virgin Mountain. It is about an older guy who still lives with his mother, has a clear routine to his life and he's never had the nerve to really spread his wings. Then he is almost forced out of his comfort zone and this beautiful, but incredibly heart-breaking story happens. I just like seeing this shy, awkward man open his heart and try to do his best as a member of society after years of avoiding living life. It is also the reason why Islands in the Stream makes me want to cry every time. It is such a real story and my favourite movies are these ones where they are sharing such a small story. It really makes me believe that the best, most heartwarming stories are right around the corner. (No I am definitely not getting emotional typing this <3)

[nochiwrites]

while we’re still able (Critical Role)

An idea got me in the shower, is basically what this is. I guess you could say lines in the sand is what I think will happen, and this is what I hope happens. (I feel like I read somewhere - maybe Liam’s last airport q&a on twitter? - that Caleb started out on the “Evil” alignment axis so this is also kind of a nod to that, I guess.)

Still big big spoilers for Campaign 2 Episode 26.

that’s [Mollymauk] in there dead on the table so come on, partner let’s end this thing while we’re still able

Caleb is sitting on a log, idly running a hand along Frumpkin's back. He would very much prefer to have his cat, all things considered, but the feathers are strangely soft and stiff at the same time, and it's a nice - if oddly alien - sensation.

Nott crouches next to him, putting her at about shin-height to him.

"You want to go," she says quietly. "Don't you."

She doesn't want to. He can tell it by her voice, by the way she's not looking entirely at him, but also back at Beau, sitting at Molly's graveside with her knees pulled up tight against her.

"No," Caleb says quietly, and while it surprises him as much as it seems to surprise Nott, the reasoning behind it snaps together in his mind like he'd released a spell, a flash of lightning somewhere in the center of his mind. Nott is looking up at him with wide eyes, saying nothing, and he repeats himself more quietly. "No. I do not want to go. I...I miss him, you know?" His voice is getting thick, and he swallows a couple of times before he goes on. "I miss him. You might not think that about me, because of me being the way that I am, but I do. He is..." There is a long pause while he swallows again, forces his hands to still against Frumpkin lest he clench his fist and remove several feathers. "He is one more person that I have killed." It's basically a whisper, and Nott closes her eyes. "By not being smart enough or fast enough or good enough."

"Caleb..."

"But this one," he goes on, body relaxing slightly from how he'd drawn himself up. "This one I can do something with, I think. We are alive," and he reaches down to touch Nott's shoulder as he says it. "We are alive because of Mollymauk. He gave us a very wondrous gift with that. And I intend to use it."

"What are you going to do?" Nott asks quietly.

"We," Caleb corrects. "We are going to go find our friends. We will free them, Fjord and Yasha and Jester, and we will kill every last fucking slaver bastard that even looked at them. And then...then we will find Lorenzo." His eyes go a little vague and a little distant, and Nott feels a creeping sense of worry, somewhere in the back of her mind. "His death will not be so quick, I think."

They're both startled by a sudden movement; Beau has stood from Molly's grave, and is shrugging her pack onto her shoulders.

"Sounds like a fucking plan," she says. Her voice is hard, mostly likely in an attempt to disguise what her red eyes and nose give away. She secures the pack over her shoulders, and turns to face Caleb. "Lead the way."

He takes another moment at Molly's graveside, the dirt of which is still under his fingernails. With a quiet promise whispered into the trees, he turns away and heads out of the small glade, Nott and Beau moving silently behind him.