#I had to censor my own safe space

[mcgonagalls-hat]

So I don't know who needs to hear this but JKR doesn't care that we hate her. She just doesn't. She's a billionaire bigot, she doesn't give a single fuck. Now that that's cleared up, let's stop spreading hate in an already toxic space, please? We reeeeeally need to clean up our fandom. Get rid of the hate, get rid of the toxicity. If we want to call ourselves a community, we need to act like one.

[olderthannetfic]

Hot take incoming.

People who have been traumatized or otherwise harmed by certain people (predators, etc) have every right to be upset about it, and angry, and scared about whether other people will experience the same thing. They also have a right to process their trauma in their own time, because everyone is different. It is also understandable that some people might not have access to a way to process that trauma. Lastly, obviously, people with trauma totally deserve to be included in fandom spaces as much as someone who doesn't have trauma.

However… I feel like there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when engaging in certain discourse in fandom, and outside of fandom. If someone has lots of unresolved, unprocessed trauma, and because of it, they can't be (sufficiently) objective, or look at things in a more unbiased manner, they should not be engaging in discourse about things like censorship too heavily—if at all. They need to postpone that until their mental health is a bit better.

Unresolved trauma can make it really hard to properly acknowledge nuance. For example, if someone's parents grabbed them, beat them, withheld food, opened locked doors on them, et al, yes, they're going to have trauma. But the question remains whether they can view something like a fictional dynamic where, for instance, someone makes amends with their parents who abused them due to mental illness, which has since been treated, with ample objectivity. Or any other, even darker topics, especially ones where toxic relationships and events are written to be erotic). It really feels like many people in fandom don't recognize they might be too biased to read something without viscerally (viscerally!) reacting, and throwing down the "ban it" card. I get the impression it's not really healthy for the individual a lot of times, too.

I've reblogged posts about why it's bad to censor sensitive topics in fandom, and I've posted some of my own commentary, which tends to be very clinical. I've had multiple strangers, at these times, create full-on essays in my inbox where, after mentioning how I seemed like a safe space, they described how they were groomed and abused by someone, and all sorts of stuff that I didn't want to read. While it was very sympathetic, they argued that x things should be censored, and nobody should be allowed to write toxic relationships, because they "knew just how bad that trauma could be," and they implored me to believe them. But even if they do have firsthand experience with that trauma, and they feel so strongly about it, does that really make their argument any more logical?

I'm convinced these people still had unprocessed trauma, so they were acting with their feelings, not their brain. I got this impression from how they completely trauma-dumped on me - I kid you not, it felt like they had to get this stuff out somehow, because they hadn't been given enough opportunity to vent before. One of these people who were in my inbox? They legitimately seemed desperate to get me to accept what they were saying. Now, it could've been a bucket of fake bullshit. But if it was real, I have to wonder how much of the incessant campaigning for censorship is actually a misguided way for people to manage and make sense of trauma, to validate it somehow, and feel like they're getting control over a situation, even if they don't realize that's what they're trying to do.

Not to claim people shouldn't be allowed to speak their minds. But, there's nuance. I feel like a lot of people in fandom need to wrap their heads around the fact that there is a large difference between being informed by trauma, and letting trauma speak for you. And the latter can often lead to bad outcomes.

--

[rccxox]

I’m sorry, but as one of the many people who were there from the start this “apology” is truly baffling.

The only reason I kept asking Red and Flynn to handle this and DMs is that even if we go to the east common room Red has ignored the fact that there are other minors in here even if they go to the east common room it still makes them uncomfortable and I tried saying it but they didn’t get the hint. no offense, but the thing that pissed me off is how the mod team decided to give Crimson probation which was weird in my opinion and people were disgusted by it. Laci said she sent proof even though it was censored to protect those victims, 2 victims came forward and she decided not to give in to the fact Laci could send it to you UNCENSORED.

And when you started the apology (in Discord), I read it thoroughly, let’s break it down hm?

Here are the screenshots of Red’s apology if you fully want to read them.

The side server comment threw me off because if it happened there and you say “safe place” and apparently if it doesn’t happen here we’re all good. I understand if it’s something you normally don’t do.

But god forbid if we keep minors in our “safe space” safe.

“They’d been ‘investigating’ crimson on their own before digging up the nsfw stuff” First off, they were gathering up enough evidence for the proof you so desperately need and whine about.

“But they reported it literal hours after it happened so. Another lie.” I understand shit like this is severe and sensitive but damn I guess people don’t deserve time.

Do I need to explain the “crying wolf” is so disrespectful imo, but who would lie about something like this??

Heavily edited is so icky because Laci had them censored for the victims' comfort and you didn’t even see where she said she could hand it to you uncensored.

Happy to listen to our concerns but do a mass ban on people who spoke out? Okay…

There are, of course screen shots but Tumblr only has ten images per post (lmao)

Red also apologized to crimson which was so fucking weird to EVERYONE.

And for Flynn to come in, and this doesn't mean any disrespect when she started talking about how laci was stirring up in the middle of the drama, when all she did was give you all the evidence, The needed talked about how she was an unreliable source when she gave them ALL the evidence.

And when I told Flynn it was very disrespectful for her to say that she said that's what she noticed but Laci didn't mean any type of offense or disrespect and what matters if you want it uncensored evidence there's something called asking she would have provided it to you and when you sent that screenshot with who was a minor and who was an adult in the server I was just like did you actually see if she (laci) was okay with that being spread but I never got to that because I don't want to “start” more drama. People are upset with Red because she didn't acknowledge the 2 victims that have come forward and said that crimson has done that to them BOTH. kind of sounds like she (red) was victim blaming in my personal opinion, This was something they needed to talk out privately because it's easier to deal with the on one on one then rather than 600 people coming at red. There were new people coming into the chat, and they got caught in the hay fire because they didn't have the full picture. There's a reason we can't do this publicly because if you do this privately you can have awhile to dissect everything, and somebody told me “oh somebody would complain about the lack of transparency” but they could have said “we're gonna settle this in DMs. We're gonna mute this channel for a bit, and when I need to, I don't want to hear any more about it, because we're gonna deal with it in dm’s”. that's all they needed to know, there were people there who didn't have the full picture.

I'm really exhausted and it’s five in the morning .

[fluffer5]

How Protective Terrans Are

So... I might've dropped a few trauma bomb in my previous entries... but we won't further open those particular can of worms *smiles brightly while throwing the proverbial can at the traum-- ehem, garbage disposal*.

Anyways, this is my 5th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs! For today's human documentary, we're going to talk about what adult Terrans can and will do to you if you touch their young, family, close friends, pets, or special mementos given to them by a special someone (which doesn't have to be from a dead anybody or a romantic somebody). We all know people wouldn't hesitate to throw hands just to keep their people or stuff safe.

So, let's refer to my list, cuz it's easier to do lol. Again, I've used movies, series, podcasts, and a writer's angst-filled mind to type this. Should I warn the rest of you for further reading? I guess I should (I was so used to reading things without the warning that I'm sometimes confused of the TW tag on some stuff lol).

TW: Gore, violence, theoretical bodily harm even though I censored most of it, death, stabby people, bullying, the insanity train.

Kill the threat. Bit of an extreme one for the first thing to pop in my head, yes? But it is true. Wars were waged for lesser things. See this news article for one example: "Mom fatally shot home intruder to defend kids, she says". This one was published on August 18, 2022. In 2012, cuz I'm too lazy to search recent ones, there's another news articles featuring the same thing but focuses on a mother shooting an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby. In 2015, an 11-year-old boy also shot an intruder trying to defend his 4-year-old sister from possible harm. I could go on and on about this but in countries where guns are not accessible, the next possible thing to use in defense would've been something sturdy and blunt or something extremely sharp. Actually, if we were in a time wherein tribes or kingdoms exist instead of cities, I can surely say that killing their young would definitely put you and your family in said people's sh*t list.

Fight the threat. Whether is be physically punching them on the face of the place where the sun doesn't shine, nobody cares as long as the deed of letting them know their place is done. Exhibit A that a lot of us know would be bullies ganging up on a younger sibling in school. We know that younger sibling are the proverbial pain in the *ss of older siblings. It's a love-hate relationship between them. But it's also an unsaid rule that only the older siblings can threaten or push around younger siblings. Anyone else touching them aside from the close family ties should be prepared to taste someone's fist. Or feet. Or the pavement. You get the gist of it. Though as long as the child in question can take care of the bullying on their own (which I did in my experience) then the parents or older sibling would gladly back off until the time they notice that things are going too far. Though, sadly, some kids prefer not to talk about their problems which leads to behavioral issues in the future, sorta trying to get attention from their elders but in a negative way.

Threaten the threat. I see this as the tamer version of protection actually lol. I don't know about other countries but in my country, the smart kids in school can threaten your life as a student. We have the usual bling-bling kids with the money and huzzah but they don't last long in the face of being a social pariah at school. They can throw money all they want but the smart kids wouldn't be threatened at all cuz they hold the key to higher GPA. Even the teachers complain about them nerds but action speaks loud and their compilation of evidence speaks louder lol. You'd be lucky if the nerd assigned to you has the patience of a saint cuz if not... well, I've had to stop fights from breaking out from simple arguments. Not just in school though. If you've got connection in higher places then that could also be a way to threaten someone (it does happen in real life so it isn't far-fetched). Though it is more effective to threaten the threat if you're in the same place as them. Another thing would be holding blackmail on said person (though that only works if they're not an immediate threat). If you have enough social influence, well, you can destroy their entire life without touching them even once.

Torture the threat. A friend says I'm too kind for ending their lives easily. Well, watching too many action and horror films prepared me for this part lol. I don't know which one would be done but interrogators have done the worst to get information from their victim. Too gory for this though and I don't know how many kids or emotional teens are in here so I have to censor a ton of the juicy details. Let's say it would be a bit similar to Saw, Jigsaw, and war interrogations. Chemicals, acids, peeled skin, salt, knives, and hammers might also be in place. Just know that it would be a bloody, unforgiving event that would take place in that particular room with that unfortunate victim.

Play the long game. Another said killing them quickly was... well... too quick XD. This one centers heavily on having money and patience. Know who the threat is, where they live, who they interact with, and what makes them tick. For this to work, you need to give up who you were before and settle on anonymity. This is... a bit more drastic than torture but works well if you have too much hate in your chest or the deed done was something you can never forgive. It's more on watching them physically suffer with their injury or doing the threatening on their family (gets messy very fast), but since this threat had amassed A LOT of enemies, they won't exactly know who did the evil deed on them. Shoot them on their legs, feet, and shoulder. Their spine if you're a good shot and know where to hit. Places that aren't close to their vital organs but would render them disabled. You'll let them live, but it will be a life of pain and agony.

Talk to the threat. The most peaceful type and probably the most boring out of this chaotic list > v <. This should be the first thing we do and not escalate to violence if some of us can help it. Again, your patience and wit will be tested here. If your threat is minor (like another child), then talking to their guardian would help with keeping the problem from going through a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes that doesn't work and the problem turns into an adult fight.

In summary, you have 2 kinds of Terrans. One would shoot before asking; the other would talk before shooting. Which is why you should never step on this particular deathworld if you were thinking about making Terran slaves or using our young in experimentation. We haven't given chase on aliens yet. Don't make yourselves the first intergalactic specie the Terrans would obliterate.

Meanwhile in a fast approaching spacecraft...

This alien reading this How To Deal With Terrans manual : Why did we want to go to this deathworld again?

Another alien turning yellow from anxiety : To befriend them and learn about the resident Terrans?

Yet another alien wilting as they feel faint from the information : Oh, thank the stars we won't be terrorizing them.

The alien commander whose frills are flaring in alarm as they read through the unredacted version of the manual : They will torture and skin us for taking their young and their pets?!

This particular scientist whose skins are changing colors in excitement : See? I told you their famous quote of "If predator not friend, why friend shape?" also applies to them!

[thelegendofmik]

Stop Defending Ableists Challenge (Level: Impossible)

So the other day I made a post listing all the ableist things Jacob Richmond has included in Legoland and Ride the Cyclone.

And the response was abysmal - the amount of "well actually..." kind of responses I got was disgusting and I took down the post because I find it counterproductive to argue with teenagers on the internet. However, I stand by the belief that if you think you are old enough to post publicly on the internet, you are old enough to be held accountable for what you post.

But I think what I had to say was quite important, so I am going to reword it here.

TW here for the discussion of ableism and ableist slurs (they are all censored)

There is ZERO (0) justification for the use of THREE (3) ableist slurs across both works. I don't fucking care if it was the 2000's. The ADA predates both shows and disability activism had existed for decades before that (as yannick very kindly reminded me). So no, it was not ok for Richmond to use those slurs in his works, regardless of the time period. Because there is nothing "correct" (politically, or otherwise) about ableism.

And before you say "Oh, but it was the character who said it, not the writer..."

CHARACTERS ARE NOT SENTIENT BEINGS! They are not created in a vacuum. Their thoughts and actions are often a reflection of the author's own beliefs and morals.

It was not Ocean who decided to use the word cr*pple. It was Jacob Richmond who decided to use it. Same with the r word and sp*z in Legoland. It wasn't Penny and Ezra who decided to use those words, it was Jacob Richmond. Because each character's actions are dictated by the decisions that the author makes for that character. And in this case, the author decided to be an ableist asshole.

Yes, characters can be assholes. They can be complex and nuanced beings. But there are better ways to portray such experiences than being violently ableist (i.e.: without using slurs). And why does the ableist character get complexity and nuance, but the disabled character is simply the sad, disabled kid, with not much else in his personality until he magically becomes abled bodied. Like we deserve nuance and complexity as well, people!

In a 2022 interview with Curtain Call Bway (here), when asked who his favourite character to write was, Richmond responds with the following:

Ocean is definitely my favorite character to write because it’s based on certain people I’ve met and certain aspects of myself too.

Like he literally admits it himself, that his decisions when writing an ableist character were based off aspects of his own personality.

The reality is, disability has never been more than a comedic plot point to Richmond. He has never cared about portraying a realistic disabled experience. He has never cared about disabled people.

And the cherry on top is that his response to yannick-robin being hate-crimed was to rewrite Ricky so that he could be played by an abled and therefore production teams wouldn't have to give a shit about ensuring their spaces are safe and accessible for disabled performers. If he actually cared about disabled people and properly representing our experiences, he would have worked with a disability consultant and fixed the issues within the show. Instead, he doubles down and causes even more harm.

To add insult to injury, he then licensed that script to Sarah Rasmussen and her team of ableist cronies for the DC production. Because him choosing to continue working with Rasmussen and her team just shows that he shares the same ableist values as the McCarter/Arena team.

So by saying that "its the character, not the author", you are defending Richmond and his violent ableism. You are attempting to justify the harm he has done and CONTINUES TO DO to disabled people. YOU. ARE. A. PART. OF. THE. PROBLEM.

Ride the Cyclone and Legoland (in ALL its forms and versions) contains so much ableist violence. This violence has traumatised REAL PEOPLE, but yannick, myself, and other people speaking out are the ones ruining the vibe by calling it out? Be fucking for real people.

Now if only my university papers were this thorough...

[novasolstarr]

Hello and Welcome to NovaSolStarr’s blog!

Come in come in, take a seat!! I don’t bite here {:

Welcome to my blog! Apologies for this lengthy post but I just wanna get down a few rules and regulations here before you venture any further friend!

This is not a required read but it may provide some helpful insight to you {;

Let’s get it started

INTRODUCTION

My name is NovaSolStarr, feel free to call me Nova or Dusty!

I go by They / Them and It / It’s but feel free to also use bun / buns and fae / fier {:

I’m a digital artist and traditional doodler, you’re gonna see a mixed batch of content from me!

My fandom interests vary greatly and you’re likely to see some jarring switch ups to say the least

I do primarily Fandom and personal OC content, but you are likely to see other things!

Art Trades are 🔒Closed to the public, friends can ask but I am busy

Commissions are 🔒Closed

Art request are 🔐Tentative, see more in “Ask Rules”

‼️ACCOUNT WARNINGS‼️

I make a variety of content, though all SFW please know that I may also;

Make fairly suggestive content

Curse a lot, I mean a lot [I promise I’m not an aggressive user

Make blood and gore related content

Make some horror related content

May touch on more sensitive topics [Drugs, Abuse, Alcohol, etc.]

I usually try to censor that which needs it but sometimes I forget to properly tag things, please be aware of this!!

This is a VERY important section and I want you all to listen!!

Please be kind and respectful here

I try to keep my space drama free, and yes this will apply to real world happenings as well. I’m sorry if this disappoints anyone but I want to keep things stress free here.

So if you have drama please take it somewhere else, maybe to an account that’s more attuned for that, this is not the space and will result in a block.

Also please do not be weird towards me, I have a wife, I love my wife, @cyanide-cafe you are my silliest :3

This is a safe space for most people, although there’s exceptions, which leads me to

Let’s get things cleared up right now

IF YOU APPLY UNDER ANY OF THESE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME or better yet block me

I welcome most anyone regardless of ethnicity, region, religion, political views, or whatever, however I will NOT tolerate;

Bigots of any form or fashion

Transphobia, Homophobia, LGBTQA+phobia in general

Racism

Body shaming of ANY kinda

Misogyny

Zoophiles

Pedophiles

Proshippers [People who romanticizes problematic or harmful things]

If more needs to be added I will, but so long as you are not one of these people I don’t care.

I had a smaller post related to this but I’ll go ahead and squeeze it into here as well!

My ask blog is completely open for any and all!! With that though here’s some rules to keep it fun for everyone!

Do Not post anything NSFW or explicit in there, this will result in a block

Do Not be asking personal information questions or otherwise potentially harmful things

Do Not be spamming it unnecessarily, I’m fine with lots of questions in one go but if you’re spamming the same thing or generally the same thing over and over I’m not gonna be happy

Do Not put anything hateful or cruel, again this will result in a block, I don’t put up with that shit and I will not feed it

Now we have that covered, let’s talk about what IS okay and what is acceptable {:

Questions related to OCs or AUs of canon characters, I have a lot of fun with it [:

Art requests between OCs and Canon, although I might use my own design for this so be warned! This interaction could be familiar, an introduction, angsty, shipping or whatever! So long as it’s SFW I don’t mind

Art requests of canon characters! Always happy to give new characters a spin

Questions related to me or any comments you might have, do note I might not always respond to comments cause sometimes I just..dunno how to outside of “WAAH THANK YOU {: >”

And that about wraps it all up!

That’s all I have for today! Please just be kind, respectful, and over all have fun here!! I like having a space for people to enjoy and have fun with {:

[duckies27]

I'm not one to normally interact with drama, but at this point, I have waited way too long to just sit here in silence. There is a creator on this platform named Hamlet Unfortunately, also known as Kenny, and I can’t just stay sitting on this.

I despise this man for multiple reasons, and I'll get into all of them here. In my opinion, it's not fair that he continues to do this sort of thing and just gets away with it, getting love and attention while doing so. All while other people similar to me get 5 to 10 likes on some of our work. I don't want to spend this entire time just completely thrashing him. However, there’s too much evidence to just ignore.

My friend Dork (@zestfeast ) and I are on a server with another Discord friend (who I won't name for their own sake, I don't want to drag them into this whole thing). I met the two of them on the fan-made Stinky Dragon discord, and we bonded pretty quickly over our love of the characters and our love of the cast. The show was something we bonded over and we wanted to spend as much time together by talking about it, without other people getting in the way. So the third party made a server and invited the two of us. We had a great time for the first two and a half weeks. It was a safe space with all the people that I trusted. We are all afab and personally, that makes me more comfortable as someone who is a cis woman. We talked about all sorts of things mainly relating to our enjoyment of the characters, coming up with AUs, and coming up with stories, all of which were pretty fun. At the time of the start of the server, I was personally barely baby 18, while the other two were and are still minors. This may not seem like a problem, but the problem came when. Kenny or Hamlet Unfortunately, as you know him, joined the server.

He was a friend with the third party and both me and Dork were completely comfortable with him joining. It wasn't our place to choose considering it is the third party's actual server. We sat and talked for a little bit, but after joining he didn't say anything. I didn't think anything of it, I'm also pretty shy but he was just awkward. Once again, I didn't think anything of it but then we started talking more. He started talking more. I wasn't a part of this conversation simply because I was at work at the times he was more vocal. I'm super busy, I work from 3:00 to 7:00 every single day right after school and it's too much hands-on work for me to come and check Discord all the time. A lot of the big conversations would happen when I wasn't there, and while I was currently doing things that took my full attention. I am a custodian worker at a middle school, I'm constantly working around kids, I'm constantly working around other people and it makes it hard to be on my phone. I missed the majority of these conversations, but to make sure that this was fully correct, I made sure to read back to all of the things that he said. It's not fair to judge a book by its cover without fully reading the contents. I read over 600 messages all sent over the course of a few weeks and I'll be dead honest, they were pretty terrifying to read back. Especially someone who has been around victims of the jokes he was mentioning. These included sexual content, drug jokes, and stuff that no person should ever joke about, especially not with minors.

It started simple enough. We just were talking about art relating to the characters and I'll be honest, some things weren't exactly always super family-friendly. We try to keep it light and airy the majority of the time within the server, but we had a few dedicated chats for the not-so-family-friendly stuff that includes some maybe more suggestive fan art. Most of the time it was and is pretty clean. We tried our best to censor what wasn't, especially because we had two minors on the server and people could always glance over our shoulders. I was in, particular, very aware of this and made sure that I didn't post anything without censoring first. One of the first things Kenny said to one of our minors on the server was "I'll suck your dick", when talking about fan art that Dork had done. Dork is very young compared to me or possibly him. I don't know how old he is but I just know that this comment made me uncomfortable reading back on it, especially because Dork is like a brother to me. I would protect him with my life if I could. I love this kid and would unironically do anything for him. They continued talking and he was incredibly mean to Dork, often calling him stupid and often acting as if his actions were childish and not as important as Kenny’s actions. When Dork tried to bring up another subject, relating to theater, not only did Kenny call him a fool, but he also said “I don't want to suck your dick anymore" continuing the uncomfortable, NSFW environment that he was starting to form.

As many of you who've read my page know, I like writing angst but I also enjoy writing stuff that's not so family friendly. I like pushing my boundaries and learning how to write, as an adult now, because it's a way of expressing myself that people don't need to see. It was a personal server thing that I kept it censored to protect people who didn't want to see it at that time. At one point I put out a request question saying I would write anything anyone wanted smut, angst, or fluff. I like writing requests and I like writing gifts for friends. It's a personal love language of mine. Kenny stumbled around for a bit, trying to come up with an idea before eventually asking me for Sliqueborg smut. I don't like the ship. It's not my thing, I'm more into BrinkBorg or the canon Lynn Mer and Kyborg. So I asked, “what are your headcanons?” I might as well be proper when I write this story. I don't want to come up with some idea that he didn’t agree with. He went to the headcanon channel and gave me one of the most inappropriate and jarring strings of sentences I have ever heard. Not only did he make our beloved wood elf incredibly abusive, but he also took Slique’s character and destroyed it. It was horrible to listen to and even more horrible to read back. I am 18, a barely illegal adult and the other two are minors on this server. I was terrified to see that he willingly put this down on paper for anyone to see. He only censored the thing because I had personally asked him earlier on.

I already was feeling uncomfortable with this guy. He was being pushy and mean and a lot of his headcanons were hard to swallow, and more and more times he brought up sexual things. I have a personal headcanon for the Groethe crew that relates to the musical instruments they would play. Ella plays violin, Mathilde sings, Barney plays flute, and Chip plays French horn. I thought it was a cute thing because of how Ella and Chip would very well complement each other, but Kenny took the opportunity to make a very inappropriate joke. That made me very uncomfortable because it was about Chip, who I see as a close similarity to my father. Chip acts and says things like my father would, so hearing this very sexual joke automatically took me out of the conversation. I hated it. I hated the idea of it. Not only that but there was one point in time when Dork was opening up about something very personal (which I won't share here) However, I came in at the worst possible time because I was on break. It happened to be insanely out of context, so of course I was like “What the hell?” But I didn't say it in a mean way. I meant it in a kind, confused way, similar to how an older sibling would walk into a conversation that you're having, that happens to be weird. Kenny continued to then look down at Dork, calling them dear and darling as if they didn't understand what I was saying. I came in and I was like “Wow this is kind of weird”, but that was it. I didn't push or prod. I didn't judge them beyond just that it was a weird message to get out of context and went back to work. Kenny belittled Dork for another 20 minutes after I went back to work.

Dork came to me the next day or so, in tears. They were terrified. They felt horrible. Kenny was being such an asshole to him and he couldn't do anything about it. It's a third party’s server and Kenny was a friend to the third party member. We didn't feel comfortable talking right to her right away. So instead the two of us hopped on a 2-hour long call on Discord to talk about our grievances. I helped Dork write a message to Kenny but instead of apologizing in response, he just said that it was his humor, a mask to protect himself. As someone who uses a mask constantly to protect myself from trauma, this pissed me off. His mask was being a jerk, his mask was being mean, and most importantly his mask was being overly sexual when it wasn't required.

Another thing that he often did was make fun of drug culture. Make fun of the “druggies”, including snorting pain pills and other issues that should not be joked about, while talking about his headcanons relating to Slique and Kyborg. He also mentioned rape, which I am completely uncomfortable with as a cis woman who has dealt with uncomfortable situations that deal with my body. I hated this. He came in as a cis male (based on what he said himself) completely invading a comfortable and safe space. Kenny is not the type of person I would leave my drink with at a party. I felt uncomfortable talking to him the majority of the time but I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want to hurt the third party's feelings. After Dork came to me in tears, I said enough is enough and I reached out to her anyway. Thankfully the third party was kind, kicked him out of the server and I haven't had to interact with him since.

However, I've seen issues within the Tumblr fandom, the fandom that's taken me so warmly and held me to a higher standard than I've held myself for years. I love to see the community interacting with my posts and I love seeing my moots talk to me in such a kind and happy way. However, I know there are multiple people within the community, one who I talked to and wishes not to be named, has had issues with him. Most people see SliqueBorg as a very abusive and toxic ship due to his headcanons. He's ruined a ship, that though I don't agree with, is valid. Not only that, but he also still ships Mudd with multiple characters including Gum Gum (This is just vague posting and suggestive tagging, but it's very easy to see him doing something like this). which is a huge issue on its own. He doesn't care about if someone is a minor and if they would even want to be in a relationship.

During the whole “Mudd Gate '', which is what I'm calling the one actual problem we've ever had within this community, when actual Aro ace people were coming out and talking about how they didn't like how Mudd was being shipped with characters. A lot of people agreed, including me, but Kenny came onto the server and started complaining along with the third party (who will again, stay unnamed). Both of them came with swinging swords, dragging down the entire Tumblr community saying it was unfair for them to completely block out a ship component just because of a canon sexuality given by Jon himself. It took me a little bit to feel comfortable within it as someone who's Demi who was personally was seeing Mudd as Demi. But now I see the issues of my ways. How little aro ace representation there really is in the world, that is untouched by fandoms. Just look at Alstor from Hazbin Hotel. He's constantly shipped with people despite being a canon Aro ace character.

Through this all, I just want to say that we should stop supporting him. We should stop giving him a platform. Not only is he a fake fan just with how he characterizes Kyborg but he also has issues with sensitive topics that he will continue to joke about until the very day that he dies. I can tell that he thinks a lot of people are sensitive. Just saying things are offensive for clout or some other reasons, but a lot of the things that he actually says are very offensive and very inappropriate around the people he's been around. His actions almost took Dork away from this fandom. It isn't as bad as some other things that have come up in the past relating to other communities (*cough cough* Wilbur *cough cough*) If you hate me for making this post then I'll just say I don't care. I am planning on blocking him after I finish this post or at least until after he can react. I don't want to just completely block him from seeing his criticism but I will stop supporting any posts I have seen. I will make sure that he is no longer on my dash because he has done things that I am severely uncomfortable with. He does not bring good vibes to this community and he especially should not be allowed to continue being in the fandom if he's going to spread such hate. This is a kind and loving fandom that has taken me and others with open arms in times of struggle and times of pain. He has made it uncomfortable to be in. I cannot support him and I implore the rest of you to do the same after his actions.

[astroyongie]

Astroyongie Podcast S1 EP2

Notes done by @killuachii<3

Censored Version

i have a question about felix and his new person in your reading you said this person isn't usually what he would go for and now i wonder what kind of person this is 

person has very feminine energy, def a girl, not much information, relationship seems very recent, there was something fishy → forcing himself

is she an idol?

Doesn’t think so, just a friend he had 

Who is Hyunjins crush? Or is that something you will never tell us? 

Kfc

Burger king 

yongie, will you give some tea about ateez member? (Anyone)  

jongho not with gf

seonghwa very laid back rn 

any tea ab txt? 

Yeonjun still with his girl, some issues 

beomgyu in complicated situation, mental problems 

kai: relationship

taehyun: balancing

not much on soobin

Can i ask why seonghwa & wooyoung get bad reputations among others idol? 

Doesn’t remember seonghwa having bad reputation, is just hot tempered 

wooyoung very open which can cause issues due to the culture in Korea

who is yeonjun gf?

Someone from Cencored

Oh! I wanted to ask about your Pendulum! I also have one and I kinda know how to use it, but how do you go about asking about idols partners? Also sometimes I feel more connected and sometimes I just feel nothing... Any tips? 

Can’t share, isn’t comfortable with sharing how she practices. if you want to feel more connected: pendulums have a personality of their own, doesn’t work by itself, spiritual guides and energy will connect and use it to communicate which can sometimes be dangerous, need to practice in a protected circle, set a safe space, always do pendulum in same space, yongie personally doesn’t have a close connection with pendulum bc it is very hard to manage energetically, sometimes pendulum is going its own way 

Is Sunghoon enhypen still with his 'Taurus' gf? Thx 

Yes

Can u give us some clue more about hyunjin's new partner? 

No information, but physical connection, wants to move on from kfc 

What did you mean in your readings with felix needs to be protected from the reality of his life with his idol image? 

One part can not speak on, he is someone who is very easy to influence, a lot of things impact him a lot, he is trying to protect his image → things of his past could have a huge impact 

do u have any tips on how to detach from a person? i find it quite hard to let go of ppl good or bad cause i feel weirdly “attached” :3 

will depend on type of relationship, it is not easy, not something you can do in a month or two, a lot of dedication, process relationship (What is the reason? Why do you want to detach? Etc.)  THERAPY

Why Jungkook, lee know & eunwoo suddenly hang out? I mean lee know with 97 liner 

doesn’t have an answer 

how to deal with disorganized attachment (leaning avoidant)  

therapy, can be very impactful on relationship with others, problem with connection

what CAN it mean when someone like is extremely affectionate and then avoidant, is it confusion? or insecurity what things could it be? 

Ambivalent attachment

Did you learn about numerology or matrix destiny too? 

Yongie’s not a maths person 

is it possible to read someone's energy through a screen? 

Yes, most goes from eyes, if they can see them it’s easier to read someone 

Yongie, can i heal my phobia? I have thalassaphobia (scared of ocean) even when i only saw that on the screen i feel terrified. And based on my parents i never went to the sea before, so is it possible that the phobia come from my past life? 

Fear and phobia have different meanings, phobia → impact well-being, should go to therapy, past lifes: phobia comes from something, if there is nothing in your surrounding that could explain your fear (like a person being scared of that exact thing) or it can be transgenerational. if not, then it could be connected to past life 

How do you interact with angels or start deities with them? 

Two of them very different, they start the interaction, angels: interaction are kind of limited, prayers to them every night and set candles in their honor. deity: praising and giving offerings, self love, energy as offering, offerings and not ask for something in return, deities aren’t there to serve they need to be served, lighting candles to communicate

what is your opinion on if a christian prays to someone else than god? do you think it's a bad thing? 

Depends on the person’s beliefs, personally doesn’t think it’s a problem, should stay in the christian pantheon 

how does connecting with passed ones work? i have heard of it before can u share a bit about purpose and how it works? 

Yongie doesn’t contact dead people, but a lot of cultures do, contacting them directly → you’ll never know if it is really that person, if you ant to praise/honour them → altars and such 

I meditate every day before sleeping. During deep meditation, I sometimes hear strange sounds like eerie laughter, whispers in languages I don't understand, or tinkling sounds like a cold bowl. Sometimes, I find it difficult to differentiate whether these are sounds from my imagination or actual messages or sounds from astral beings. What do you think? 

Shouldn’t meditate before sleeping since you are in a vulnerable state while sleeping

whats your opinion on haunted dolls? 

Doesn’t really believe it, one of her phobias, haunted object could be charms or could be objects that trapped energy of the previous owner

Could someone reincarnates as an animal? Or only and always human? 

Yes, they can, an animal can also be reincarnated as a human, has done a reading where someone’s cat was their great grandma 

i have heard of something called egg belief??? they believe that bad ppl will be reincarnated as the victim of the actions they did to other ppl but i personally dont believe it because it would like mean that victims are at fault if something happens to them 

tricky, karmic chains could be connected 

Do dreams tell us something we need to do or is it feelings we already have?

no, dreams are made up from your mind and tries to process something. they do have meanings but its the inner domain

what are like consequences ? when for example youtubers make content with ouija boards 

most things are made up/don’t do it seriously

what is a spiritual awakening, how does it happen? 

When someone starts being more in tune with spirituality, could be due to almost death experience or traumatic experience

what happens to us after we pass (after ur beliefs) im curious 

when we die our souls leave our body to get into the veil which is the bridge between the spiritual and the physical world. Then we go to the spiritual realm for a while eventually reincarnation

But how to break the karmic chains yongie? 

Difficult to answer, depend on what karmic chains you have 

i feel u once addressed this on ur blog but can it happen energies dont immediately reach the veil what happens exactly? 

They do because they have to, since they can't be on the physical world

Yongie, can cannabis, meth, and other psychedelic plants use trigger to awakening/ enlightenment 

personally doesn’t think it triggers it

can energies after they pass and leaves physical body, cant they stay as a spirit on earth or something like that? 

Hopes they just go to the realm, bc people who are stuck needs to relive death constantly which isnt fun

if yongie had to pick 3 idols to smoke with

jaehyun, wooyoung, chanyeol (to see how he acts) or woodz („maybe if he is high he would want me“)

so if a dead person appears in my dream it means something? 

Yes 

yongie how do i manifest a toji fushiguro build man 

camp outside a gym (and get Sukuna's number for me)

is hyunjin dating anyone from ateez/sunwoo?

nope

[rat-creates]

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT ME SPECULATING ON ANYONES BODY THIS IS JUST ME HAVING FUN WITH MY AU

Had to use my degree for something, so here's me working on the road trip au designs

Where are they? No clue, maybe on one of those hot pools that always show up on anime :]

Under the cut is without the black sun (I wasn't sure if I liked it :P) and my thoughts behind some stuff

So starting with Dream!

I talked about it on my basic explanation, but the X is from Dream consuming XD and taking over his powers :)

The eyes come from him consuming Callahan! (As do any deer imagery and powers)

Those big scars on his cheeks also come from this! Being forced to consume a god hurts a lot!

The little lines of dots come from shears, and the group of dots come from C!Q putting out cigarettes on him

(Hey apparently my grand-grandfather used to put out cigarettes on his own hands. Huh.)

Scars on his wrists and neck come from metal cuffs! Even tho I'm sure they wouldn't look like that at all, but I'm not Picasso so hang with me

(When Dream is scared and is forced back into his prison body those areas are covered with bruises)

Missing finger! (Missing finger)

C!Q had an odd obsession with Dream's eye and heart. It's only because of luck his eye still works and he had many, many close calls

The hips scar is still because of a dragon!

For now any dog/wolf trait Dream has is because of XD, any deer trait he as is because of Callahan and any rabbit/hare traits are from himself!

(Any sheep/ram traits come from Dream unconsciously coping them when he's afraid as an effort to keep himself safe)

((....whatever is going on under that censor bar is very much non human))

(((As an extra note! Dream is not self conscious of his body or genitalia, only of his scars and/or wounds. Also I'm thinking if I make him green)))

To Quackity, who has much less going on!

His scar comes from him falling when he has a kid! He has a gold tooth :]

(Well. That's one of the ideas I'm inbetween. He either had a bad fall as a kid and lost a tooth, had a worse fall as a kid and lost a tooth and had to get a glass eye or he gets hurt in the dsmp during the road-trip)

He was playing with another kid and they pushed him too hard :[ he remembers the kid was super worried and sorry, he thinks they might have cried more then he did! It's a shame he can't remember much about them tho... he just remembers their hair was pink

Quackity has a few tattoos! One of a star on his wrist, because he likes space, one of a duck he got while drunk and... a particularly dumb one he had to get partially removed. (If Q could give you one piece of advice is to never get anyone's name tattooed, no matter how much you think you love them)

(*cough* he shaved before he left for the trip. I mean, he was getting out of the city to get a break, might as well right? ... he's very willing but this doesn't seem like an appropriate moment for that *cough*)

As a last note, this would be much further into their journey where Dream has managed to break out of his initial panic and change back to his normal body :3

[transpersian]

Poppy and SFW Spaces - Part 2: About that time that Poppy posted lewd furry art in a SFW channel...

The last time this came up, I didn't want to overwhelm what was already a big post, but now that this is coming up again, it's reminded me to post the follow-up conversation from the server.

Because you know that there was a follow-up conversation.

TLDR:

Two server members spoke up about how uncomfortable the post made them.

Poppy has a conversation where she disagrees in a troubling way, then steps aside to allow for a mod to handle the disagreement (to avoid conflicts of interest).

Saige, who Poppy has disclosed on-stream that she is an FP for, stepped in to essentially parrot whatever Poppy had said (to, you know, avoid conflicts of interest).

First off, I want to make it clear that Saige is in an entirely impossible situation. Please do not attack or judge her for her place in this situation. Instead, look at it my way: as proof of what nearly a year under Poppy's control will do to you.

Anyway.

I'm feeling spicy and like digging into something, so here's Poppy telling a minor that they're wrong for feeling uncomfortable over her shoving her fursona's sexually posed, barely clothed ass in their faces.

Then we're going to talk about their server rules and how the subject of minors and NSFW content is handled. I'm going to properly dig in here, so strap in [EDIT: we're at over 2100 words, so I'm serious].

The offending post and the initial response. Note how hard both of these people are trying to not piss anyone off.

~~~~~~~~~~

So... a few things.

Note the immediate defensiveness and invalidation. Describing what's clearly erotic art as "cute."

"I don't find those particularly spicy." The minors do, though

"They aren't actually showing anything so to me they are mostly just risque." IF IT'S RISQUE THEN WHY ARE YOU SHOWING IT TO MINORS

"There are even more explicit versions and I didn't post those, so that makes these fine." You can use relativity to justify anything. This is not a real argument. Pro tip: always be cautious of relativity when it's being used to argue against your feelings.

"We get into stuff that's NSFW on our streams and we don't restrict that." I'm pretty sure this isn't the own you think it is, Poppy. This is you telling on yourself.

And then...

"we expect people who come there to be mature, the same is true about the server"

I... hm.

Poppy (and Zena, #nozzerasure)...

1. Why do you expect people who come to your streams to be mature?

YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO CONTROL OVER THAT. It's a mental health political drama channel that gets suggested to people who watch similar content. If the statistics you shared a while back are still true, less than 2% of your audience is minors, but that's who marking your channel as mature is for.

Even ignoring the barely censored lewd art for now, you discuss a lot of really adult topics on your streams. These are the rules for a reason, Poppy, and you don't get to decide that they just don't apply to you. IF YOUR CHANNEL IS FOCUSED ON ADULT TOPICS YOU MARK IT AS "MATURE." FULL STOP.

You have ZERO CONTROL over who wanders into your channel. It isn't your decision as to whether your videos show up in front of minors. You are fucking wrong here.

Fix it, or leave it as more evidence of how little you actually care about protecting minors from adult content.

2. Why do you expect people who come to your server to be mature?

You explicitly position it as a place for vulnerable, traumatized, mentally ill, BPD (etc) queer people to go. You have stated that you want your community to be a safe place for the people from Lily Orchard's community to go once they're out. You know that that community contains a lot of minors, many of whom are there for content about cartoons. Why are you outright assuming that these people are mature enough to handle this content? Because if that was really a major priority for you, Poppy, I would think that the absurdly low bar of DON'T SHARE YOUR FUCKING LEWD ART IN SPACES WITH MINORS would be one you'd gladly clear to make sure that those people were entering a safe, friendly, non-sexualized space. You know, because a major problem with LO is her being unable to keep her fetishes and sexuality out of minor-inclusive spaces. I've been researching some things recently and you'd be surprised how deep the parallels go.

And on one last note about this one, I think it's really funny that Poppy tried to act like the other sections of the server are some big secret. "What separate area" come on, now. lol

~~~~~~~~~~

It's weird how she can't just wrap her head around the simple idea of not showing NSFW art in minor-inclusive spaces. This isn't a debate stream, Poppy. Where are you trying to take this conversation?

I do love how the other person calls out the problem with relativity right there. Hell yeah. Just because Hollywood's decided that that's okay to put on TV doesn't mean that I use it as a barometer to dictate what I think is appropriate. Poppy should know better than to use that as an excuse.

~~~~~~~~~~

Saige moderates!

First off, I want to reiterate and stress that Saige is in an entirely impossible situation. Note how she's basically just agreeing with Poppy. I was torn on whether to include who this mod is, but the context of her relationship with them is important to show just how much of a conflict of interest this is. Having your BPD partner, who you are an FP for, be a mod for situations like this?

What was that about conflicts of interest, Poppy? Why is Saige moderating your conflicts on the server, as a mod?

Can you imagine, as a person with BPD, being put in the position to moderate disagreements over your FP's inappropriate posts in the server that she owns?

Anyway.

Looking at these as Poppy's talking points because I don't trust that they didn't discuss this behind the scenes before Saige posted her "verdict."

1. "This isn't harmful for minors to see."

According to who?

2. "On this server, we don't shy away from difficult interactions."

This is pure, basic Foundation propaganda (Poppaganda, heh). They say this, but all you have to do is look at the receipts for my interactions with them to see just how good they are at dealing with conflict. "But that was personally in dating" yes, I know, but believe me, it goes far beyond that. It's just how they handle their personal affairs. I've seen and have extensive evidence for it, I just can't share it yet.

3. "You are responsible to some degree for managing your interactions with an environment."

This is one of those abuses of therapy-speak. Poppy and Zena have been increasingly weaponizing certain definitions, particularly the notion of "boundaries." While boundaries are by definition things that you can state will be your response to specific actions and circumstances, you only have to look at Poppy's Twitter right now to see how that works out in practice.

~~~~~~~~~~

So what kind of expectations do PZ create for this environment?

Well, what is "Safe" versus the other categories, anyway?

Okay. Not explicitly for minors, fair enough. But let's check their server rules.

Solid start. What does that link to?

Oh, okay. Let's go over these.

~~~~~~~~~~

1) No minors in NSFW areas.

Serves to assume that no NSFW content is allowed in SFW spaces. Oh wait. About that first part.

And while one can assume that the person can still be locked out of chats that are specifically NSFW, this area of the server is a space where more NSFW conversations take place, including in VCs (which they clearly are, seeing as they're actively involved in the "reply to voice" chat in the background). There's no avoiding that unless the rules of the space itself change.

Oh wait. Also. About that second part. There's plenty in my previous post, but here's another fun one from last year that someone sent me today.

Maybe they changed the header in the year since, but uh... yeah. It's still in Safe, where there are minors. To be fair, the images were spoilered, but uh... yeah. Again, this is in the "Safe," minors-present category.

Anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

2) People 23 and older can't act inappropriately towards minors. Check age roles to see if this is okay.

This comes across as weird for number of reasons. For one, this isn't something that should just apply to minors and 23+; anyone who feels uncomfortable with an interaction should be reporting it to the mods.

For another, while it makes sense to warn people that there are minors in the server and to mind themselves accordingly, why is the age gap specified like that? Why does it make a difference if they're 23 or 20? If they're making a minor uncomfortable, it's a problem!

I could say more, but it's just... weird.

~~~~~~~~~~

As for 3...

I want to first talk about that last bit because I know she'll be offended at the very suggestion that it isn't true; I truly do believe that Poppy believes that this is true. Unfortunately, wanting to do something and believing you do something and actually doing that thing are very different things.

But let's talk about this age difference thing again.

Take a moment and think about this: whose perspective is this from?

At what point does someone start "considering the power dynamics in the age difference" when they're interacting with a 22 year old? Maybe it's something to consider if you're over 30, but I wouldn't blink at a 24 year old dating a 20 year old.

So whose perspective(s) (#nozzerasure) are the age-based categorizations of "old enough to date question mark" designed for?

~~~~~~~~~~

Their stance on TWs/CWs

One last thing that I thought was curious...

They specifically have a section of their rules that discusses trigger/content warnings. This is what it says:

Notice how the two things that are marked as things that should be spoilered are violence and actual spoilers for media.

Most servers I've seen either have NSFW stuff specifically sequestered to NSFW spaces, or they spoil NSFW stuff. Why wouldn't this server do that?

Oh. Right.

~~~~~~~~~~

So what's my point?

What's all of this ultimately mean?

Firstly, I need to stress how NONE OF THIS IS EVIDENCE OF POPPY PURSUING MINORS IN "THAT" WAY. While her behavior is certainly concerning and inappropriate, I will not abide by any p*do-jacketing. If you're making any accusations like that, you'd better be bringing evidence, or at least a testimony.

Mainly, what this points to is a troubling pattern of behavior as far as her understanding of appropriate boundaries around sexual content. This directly impacts her ability to create truly SFW safe spaces for minors, especially minors who are emotionally/psychologically vulnerable or seeking refuge from sexually charged spaces.

Some of them may like being treated like adults, but that's not the point. The point is that it's not up to them. These are the rules for a reason.

Poppy, you may not believe that the rules should be this way, but please stop being so fucking stubborn. You're endangering minors with this behavior. All people are asking of you on this front is to be more restrained with your sexual stuff (including the "risque" stuff) in spaces where there are minors present.

Just exercise a little bit of self-control for the sake of making your server the safe space that you work so hard to convince people (including minors) that it is.

~~~~~~~~~~

ADDENDUM

HOLY SHIT THEY CLARIFIED IT

"Safe is only for friendly conversations about up to PG-13 topics."

[stonebutchery]

i think we need to have a conversation about dysphoria and triggers again as a trans community (particularly the younger-than-25 crowd) because i think it's actually a little worrying how many trans people say they're triggered by the mere mention of trans pregnancy, by masculine features, by breasts or by flat chests, by certain body types, and other unchangeable parts of the varied trans existence. whatever you do online for yourself and for your own peace of mind is your business. but you can't be telling trans people you're triggered by their 'non passing' features or bodily choices because they make you personally uncomfortable. you need to deal with that, privately, on your own.

as someone who worked for a while with an advocacy program for rape survivors, something that came up, even with trans clients, was "i'm triggered by men and masculine features" or, also troublesome, "i'm triggered by men of a specific race." this is something we infrequently (but frequently enough to warrant writing up an entire protocol on referrals to specific in-network therapists) had to discuss with clients because, as an advocacy program that advocated for everyone who came to us for help, i can't ban 'men' from the waiting room. it would be a violation of their rights if we were to accommodate someone's desire for comfort, a desire that comes from the fact that they are 'triggered by men'. we could move someone who is 'triggered by men' to another room if another room were available but, ultimately, it's going to be beneficial for that person to deal with their trigger. because it's just not acceptable when a client comes into the office and accuses a trans woman in the waiting room of being a predator because "[she] looks like a man, i'm triggered by men, i was assaulted by a man," nor is it acceptable when a transmasculine client says he wants the cis man in the lobby to leave because he's triggered by the presence of a cis man, also as the survivor of violence by a cis male perpetrator (both of these examples coming from my experiences as an advocate). both of those people these clients pointed a finger at were fellow sexual violence survivors seeking resources, only to be accused of being perpetrators for sitting in a waiting room to seek those resources, made to feel humiliated by other survivors in a space that's supposed to be fucking safe for them.

whether they've carried a fetus to term or gotten an abortion, i've also known several pregnant trans people. in the christofascist west, pregnant people have historically been banished to the confines of their homes. there's a reason why the united states and other western countries have (sometimes tenuous-at-best) laws prohibiting the discrimination against workers who are pregnant or become pregnant. trans pregnancy is already incredibly stigmatized and censored. outside of, like, online kink-related or fetish-related content pertaining to impregnation or pregnancy where people are well within their right to curate what they see and engage with, i find it especially disappointing when all mention of pregnancy, sometimes specifically singled-out trans pregnancy, is requested to be censored, and to once again banish the mere acknowledgement of the existence of pregnant people, especially pregnant trans people and trans parents who have biological children, to the out-of-sight, out-of-mind nowhere-land. like they don’t exist and don’t deserve recognition or acknowledgement.

and yes, i am actually very well aware that there are countries with bans in places which carry criminal penalties for abortion. i happen to live in one. the fact that there are trans people who want to be parents and who want to have biological kids is just as important to me as all of the trans people who deserve safe and legal abortions whenever they want, for any reason. censoring and silencing trans people for talking about being pregnant, in any context, and requesting censorship of trans pregnancy, including the acknowledgement and de-stigmatization of trans pregnancy and trans abortion-seeking... because it makes some trans people dysphoric...? i'm sorry but you're kind of getting in your own way. and if you end up making it random pregnant trans peoples’ problem, you are then doing harm. this is one of those cases where censoring the object of your trigger is not going to end up being conducive to healing and growth. and it risks substantially harming others.

"my body, my choice" is not just empty words in a slogan. someone else’s autonomous bodily decisions do not concern you. at all. other people are not fucking responsible for your dysphoria or the reactions you are having to their body; their bodily autonomy, their autonomous bodily choices, literally just existing. i think you should challenge yourself to dig deep and ask how and why someone else's completely benign existence triggers you.

i am not responsible for my existence ‘causing you dysphoria’. that is your problem. you deal with that.

you may get triggered but how you choose to respond and react is something to work on because your reactions can be harmful.

[lord-aldhelm]

The Future of this Blog

In light of recent developments, I felt compelled to write this post. As this is something that actually affects me directly and personally, I felt the need to discuss it. You all can agree with me or disagree with me; this is my own opinion and decision.

It is my personal and biased opinion that actors, celebrities, and entertainers should steer clear of fandom spaces online. Them infiltrating these spaces is problematic in many ways, but first and foremost it creates unnecessary tension and anxiety, both for the fans and for the actor. When you know for certain that the actor is watching everything you do, you no longer have a safe space in which to express yourself freely and without shame. Fandom spaces can be toxic enough as it is, without also fearing upsetting or disturbing the very actors whose work you are discussing.

Unless the actors in question get "really cool about a lot of things really fast" it will always backfire. I know there are some celebrity accounts right here on Tumblr, and they have had varying levels of success. I also know that Jeppe is a frequent flyer on The Last Kingdom subreddit and to my knowledge he is very respectful of the fans there and has not caused any problems. But that is the exception, not the rule.

I will say that I have done a piss poor job of keeping my fandom and my personal and professional stuff separated. (Apparently I like to shit where I eat, lol.) That is my own fault really. But mostly I don't really care if anyone knows who I really am, because everything in my life bleeds together. I am not beholden to anyone besides myself, so no one will care what kind of weird stuff I am into. Other people have their reasons for staying anonymous and keeping their personal stuff strictly separated from their fandom stuff and that is understandable and respected.

We all know, as bloggers, that the stuff we post in here is public. There is no illusion of privacy here. Even if you have your blog settings set up so that it does not appear in Google search, or excluded from Tumblr search, or that only logged in accounts can view your profile, people can and will find your blog and view it. My blogs all are fully public, viewable by anyone, and included in both searches. I also have no illusion of privacy. However, I think there is an unspoken understanding that your blog is your "safe space", and should be respected as such. Just like the various fanfic sites are also safe spaces (but also public) where you can create freely and openly.

There is a saying "Don't post anything online you would not want your mother/daughter/etc to see". And that is probably true on Facebook or Instagram, where you family is probably already following you and will see what you post. Here the rules don't apply. If everyone here only posted stuff that was uncontroversial, tame, watered down, and sterile, this place would be boring as hell. This *is* the gay autism site after all. There are a lot of daydreaming artistic types who feel this is the only place where they are truly free to be themselves. To share their experiences and write about things that are dear to them, whether that is identifying mushroom species or writing deranged smut. (no judgement lmao)

With all of this being said, I will make it very clear that I WILL NOT be shutting this blog down!! I am not ashamed of anything that I have posted or will post in the future. I will NOT be censoring myself, and I WILL NOT be made to feel guilty about ANYTHING I say on here. I am generally very respectful and honestly mostly pretty tame (especially compared to some of y'all) but even if I have an unhinged rant or semi-feral moment in the tags I do not want to feel like I have to "dial it down" just because "someone" might see it and judge me.

I am not actively seeking to broadcast and get unwanted attention on this blog. But in the same token I will not try to hide anything.

This blog is MY SAFE SPACE. It is my home. I will continue to draw my beautiful artwork, write my little stories, share my thoughts and feelings, post my memes and edits, and interact with my mutuals and friends on here because it brings me great joy and NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE will take this away from me!!

This fandom has brought me a lot of joy and opened me up to new experiences, allowed me to be myself and connected me with some amazing people from all over the world. It has become a very important part of my daily life, and enriched me in ways I never could have imagined. I never want to feel like I have to go back to hiding away parts of myself out of fear or humiliation.

I am so damn tired of feeling like an outcast. I have finally found a place where I feel like I somewhat belong and I will not be chased out.

/rant

[dragonsfromthemoon]

ON ASOIAF, AGE GAP AND RHAELYA

This is a topic discussed over and over on fandom spaces. Often it is brought up by antis as a “gotcha!” against the fans of certain fictional couples — and on this meta, my focus is mostly on Rhaegar and Lyanna, though some arguments can be used for other ships as well.

That said, we have two ways of looking into this subject in the context of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Parting from a doylist analysis, we could rightfully criticize George R. R. Martin for his approach to age and relationships, especially regarding his female characters. In Rhaegar and Lyanna's case, we could object him putting an underage girl in a relationship with a married man about eight years her senior. If I were the one writing this story, I would have aged Lyanna up; there is no narrative/worldbuilding/plot reason for not doing that. Alas, I am not George R. R. Martin, the story does not belong to me.

The gist here, however, is reprobating the author's conscious choices, nor the characters themselves or their relationship. Rhaegar and Lyanna cannot make decisions or be held accountable in the real world, as they are only fragments of George R. R. Martin's imagination and words on a blank paper. The same is valid for any other relationship featured on Planetos.

Nevertheless, a doylist analysis is bound to face some questions and run into some issues as well. The first being, who is the one raising the objections? The answer is crucial, because the objector parts from their own vision of the world — which is dictated by one's upbringing, moral and culture. Needless to say, all of these things vary from person to person. Different fans will approach the matter of age gaps differently, based on their own opinions and experiences. The second one is, who gets to judge what is right or wrong? And this is followed by the question: what is the the acceptable age gap — 10 years? 5 years? 2 years? 1 year? Months? We would debate over it endlessly, because there is really no right answer, and everyone would apply their own biases to the issue. Thirdly, why did the objector decide to engage with a material that features such age gaps in the first place? We have the power over what we read and watch, over the fandoms we join; as well as the power of not engaging with triggering content for us anymore. Sanitizing fiction is not the way to go, because it brings more harm than good in the form of persecution and harassment of content creators and censorship (again, who gets to decide what must be censored and why?)

There are two more intertwined factors to take into account when discussing a doylist perspective: George R. R. Martin's historical inspirations and worldbuilding. Though so many times exaggerated and factually wrong, the fact remains that he draws inspiration from the European Middle Age (with focus on England) to build Planetos. And that reflects directly on the issues of age in his work. Childhood, adulthood, marriageable age, age of context are notions that differ drastically from our contemporary ones. We are talking about distincts periods of history, with distinct approaches to social and cultural norms, after all. Here the author himself discusses the issue of ages, if one would be interested to read on the topic.

Which brings me to the watsonian analysis part of this essay. Above all, the in-universe context matters here. And if we hope to understand the characters, their actions and views on relationships in a deep level, we cannot dissociate them from their historical and social in-universe background.

By the time Lyanna met Rhaegar, she was 14 and already engaged to Robert Baratheon. Her fiance Robert, by the way, was also older than her. By all accounts he desired her and claimed to love her, constructed an image of her in his mind. It is safe to speculate she would have been expected to marry Robert not long after Brandon Stark's marriage to Catelyn, if her elopement with Rhaegar and the Rebellion had not happened. My point here is, this was hardly a frowned upon marriage arrangement in A Song of Ice and Fire. Except for Lyanna, that is, as she did not desire Robert nor this marriage. Even so, her issue was not with his age (her distaste for Robert is a whole other discussion).

Well, when Lyanna starts her affair with Rhaegar de facto, she is about 16 (not 14, as antis like to claim; let's get our facts straight). By Westerosi standards, a woman grown, apt to marry and bear children. Rhaegar was about 24. Thus they have a 8 years age gap. This is hardly a remarkable age difference in Westeros, as so many couples have it even bigger. Almost all of romantic entanglements in this story have an element of age imbalance. I will not name these examples; I trust the readers to come up with their own.

My point here is, through watsonian lens, the age gap between Lyanna and Rhaegar is scarcely a problem or something to be particularly condemned. And quite frankly, there are other aspects of their characters and their dynamic that are more relevant to discuss, if we as readers take upon us to analyse them.

[sophieinwonderland]

kinda just a experience being around anti endo even if you dont talk to them: I had joined a discord server for a dinosaur game and even then I find a Plural mod whos anti endo. im not even endogenic but I can never be safe around these people. I was thinking about this because I started to have a panic attack when someone in the server sent me a friend request, ik I cant stay in that server long as I feel its incredibly unsafe for my system :(

they talk about us invading their spaces, as they actively make their spaces unsafe even for their own people. this has been said many times im sure, I miss when it didn't have to interfere so much with just my fun activities. ive lost a lot of social spaces lately and its kinda tearing me apart. sometimes I think im being a bit silly, but we should never let bigotry slide.

That sucks.

How do these people even keep managing to worm their way into moderator positions?

And yeah, I don't think you're being silly at all. You have to what's best to protect yourselves. Being in the same space as anti-endos can potentially be harmful. But with them as moderators in the server, it's going to be hard not to be looking over your shoulder constantly. A lot of anti-endos, especially those with any sort of power, will be looking for any signs that systems are faking, and you'll end up being forced to self-censor to avoid their gaze.

It's terrible what anti-endos have done to these spaces.

But there are plenty of spaces out there they haven't gotten their hooks into yet. Spaces that can be safer for your system.

[fanz-y]

So now that I've actually watched 10 anime I wanted to rank them from best to worst

1. MSG: the Witch from Mercury; I have not seen any other Gundam show but I don't think this one is leaving #1 spot ever, and Bandai were cowards and homophobic for not showing us either a kiss or the wedding even though they got married, also I'm so mad that I episode 11 during the hug they didn't even say "I love you". The robots became the least interesting part of the robot show (8th I watched)

2. Bocchi the Rock!; probably what I want most anime to be, can't wait for the movie('s), this, G-Witch and Your Name might as well both be #1, also I want a cute Bocchi plush but I can't find one that's affordable without a high delivery :< (7th I watched)

3. Your Name; A movie that I found on a trans subreddit about a year ago, I didn't think it'd be as good as it was or that it'd affect me as much as it did, but I was left in tears when the credits came on, the story went somewhere completely than I thought it would, 10/10. also tied for first place, it deserves to be watched in a movie theater so much (10th I watched)

4. Cowboy Bebop; twink and his bear friend go on space adventures oh and the twink has his own shadow the hedgehog (6th one I watched)

5. BNA: Brand New Animal; the one of 2 studio Trigger show I've seen but from what I've read and heard they have a pretty mid reputation, I really liked it tho, I watched it around the time I came out and it's a pretty good trans allegory (still feel a tad weird about the ending) (4th one I watched)

6. Neon Genesis Evangelion (and the 1st movie); (don't)Get in the robot Shinji, I had been interested in it a bunch, big robots and all that, but only just got to it. The self perpetuating loop of abuse and trauma that Shinji and everyone gets put through because Genduo can't get over the death of his wife is horrible and I can't think of a more despicable antagonist than him, the movie was so fucked up. I still struggle to get what Seele was supposed to represent. I loved every scene where the Eva's get shown as demons, those looked real cool (9th I watched) (watched it entirely cuz of Signalis)

7. Cyberpunk Edgerunners; watched this before I played the game, the abuse that David went through combined with the end that I miss interpreted put me a bit off and I missed the point, but I got it after a rewatch (3rd one I watched)

8. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure; now that I've grown as a person I can safely say that it deserved to drift from spot 1, part 4 is still my fave. And it's still really really good in spite of how low it is (1st I watched)

9. Guilty Gear Xrd & Strive story mode; I am both counting and lumping them together, I liked the oversized Smurf with a gun, also Elphelt bby girl, still would've preferred an actual game tho(5th one I watched)

100000000000. Future Diary; I've watch this in a trade to get someone else to watch JoJo's, they came out better off with that deal, I am also no longer friends with that person (not because of the show but it's funny to mention) (2nd I watched) I still think it's missing some zeros, just add however many you believe it needs

Honorable mentions:

- Signalis; I know it's not an anime but it's anime adjacent and it's the best story I've ever played through, I don't even like horror games or gore at all that much but I will 100% this game and get all the endings, I wish I could talk about it more but spoiling ANYTHING about it feels wrong and making posts where half the words are censored just so fans get it isn't gonna work

- Pokemon; I loved the XYZ and B&W runs but I haven't watched it all and only remember catching it on TV

-Scott Pilgrim takes off, I watched the first few episodes, I don't particularly care for it, but it looks pretty good

Dishonorable mentions:

- Attack on Titan; I've had a run in with the series back when season 1 came out, back when I thought gore was cool, now I have negative interest in the series, I literally couldn't care less and I'm only putting it here to be fair

Conclusion:

After the Witch from Mercury and Evangelion, I don't care for big robots as much as I used to.

Oh and I'm watching some more soon-ish gimme recommendations

[discluded]

Hey, same anon that talked about BOC distancing themselves from the LGBTQ+ community. My post wasn't meant to dampen the excitement of them doing new projects with a broader audience. Just saying BOC is shitty for what they're doing. They drop the LGBTQ+ community once they want the eyes & money of homophobes. I hope MileApo's Chinese project is amazing af because they deserve it (& if BL related, it's censored as little as possible).

Thanks for clarifying! Yes, I'm just... tired of BOC right now. To me, I'm happy to throw them away with any other company that practices rainbow capitalism until it's time to stir up my ire again. My main anguish was the impression that BOC had a tight stranglehold on MileApo's potential future success by creating this ceiling with their own incompetence and we're finally free of that concern.

About whether or not it'll be BL and Chinese censorship:

First of all, I'm going to say: I'm excited either way. I don't want their work to be confined to romance, which it sounds like Man Suang will not, and while it will be lovely that queer couples are treated the same way as straight couples (In that they just sort of appear in series as leads and the primary plot is the focus while them having a relationship is background/secondary like Mabel's second season personal plot line in Only Murders), I do understand that's not the media capacity in China.

Either way, we do know they played brothers for the lolz once and it was... um, uncomfortably sexually charged.

That being said, lol this insane drama is gonna come out in China supposedly:

RIP to you if you watch, you might need brain bleach after. I'm not even sure how something like this going to pass censorship review but 😵 I guess we're see.

As far as I'm aware, I saw discussion within danmei fandom that there was potentially some loosening of the censorship rules because apparently capitalism rules all, but I can't seem to find anything about that lately so who knows. I actually saw that TGCF's drama supposedly passed censorship review last year, but it's been almost a year now and no updates.

Finally, a word about LGBTQ censorship by the CCP -- I know not everyone here lives in America or the west (thank God) but I often see comments on Tumblr and Twitter to the effect that people living under governments with human rights abuses share the same beliefs as the government. While there is definitely manipulation of public sentiment through propaganda, please remember that places with such restrictions on human rights hurt the people living in their country first and foremost. (And yes anon, I know that is not what you're saying! just my rant!!!)

The behavior of the government does not reflect the sentiment of individual citizens who live in China ( who don't get to choose their government at all lol )

Article from Feb 2022 about public outrage about the lesbian plotline in Friends being censored

A September–October 2016 survey by the Varkey Foundation found that 54% of 18–21-year-olds supported same-sex marriage in China.[124]

An online opinion poll from Phoenix Network in December 2019, which garnered close to 10 million votes, showed a 67% majority in favor of same-sex marriage in China.[46]

Again, I known anon this is not what you meant or said at all, but if I see anyone in fandom saying racist ass shit about Chinese people, I'm going to start publicly calling them out because fandom is my fun safe space and I don't need people to bring racism into my life 😊🔪

Finally, about what MileApo committed to: a full version can always air on iQiyi internationally while a sad cut version airs domestically (I think what happened with La Forte). Queer storytelling that circumvents censorship to tell the stories of queer people to a wider audience even if maybe not the full version isn't bowing to censorship - it's showing the resilience of LGBTQ people in spite of the attempts to quash out our light.