#I had useful skills back in the day
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I'm very tired of hearing the "why doesn't Kingdom Hearts cater to ME, a person who doesn't want to have to care about it. Kingdom Hearts should stop rewarding the people who are deeply emotionally invested in it and should instead care only about Me, Casual Fan who only wants to give a shit every 5-10 years or so, what about MY feelings" argument. Jesus fucking Christ. It's been 22 years. Suck it up and go play a Halo then.
#Christ Almighty#i almost had a physical fight with someone at a convention over this topic TEN ENTIRE YEARS AGO#I could not go ten feet in my Saix cosplay at a convention from like 2009-2019 without encountering like#MULTIPLE smug grinning chucklefucks making comments about the 'side games' all goddamn day everywhere i went#literally came this close to throwing down with the final one at like 10 pm on my way back to my hotel room#(I'm exaggerating about the physical fight thing but my friends did wrestle me off the elevator because i was about to tear that guy-#-absolutely a new asshole about 'haha every game since kh2 was stupid and bad I'm so smart for thinking so'#*)#they're always the SMUGGEST about how smart they are for being 'above' caring about the handheld games#sorry they feature women actually doing things and make you feel stupid but skill issue#God forbid you should have to care about Xion and Aqua and Namine and also use your brain
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch462#theres been someone whose been slowly reblogging some of my like. really old posts#and doing some absolutely fantastic character analysis in the tags#but oh my god you're reminding me of the cringe captions i used to leave on every post#i did that FOR LIKE. IM PRETTY SURE OVER A YEAR.#IF IT WASNT SO LONG I'D GO BACK AND EDIT ALL OF THEM BUT EUGH#all but one i think the birthday post was funny okay that one was funny and i had to consolidate so much to get it to post on the right day#god. i cant believe this will probably post after the blog anniversary#4 years of every sanji. how do we feel guys#as of queuing this i have uh. 2302 followers and i'll probably have a few more by the time you actually see this#absolutely insane that people still follow this silly gimmick blog i've been running since i was 19#ik i have said it before but this little project got so big and i dont even particularly care for op anymore#i just keep this blog running for the bit of finding every sanji and watching people be amazed at the really really small ones#that i manage to find in the background. its a special skill you gain by running a blog like this#anyway no more tag rambles i want to try and finish this volume tonight if i can
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the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine
#I've been playing around with the new lipstick my butch bought me#and I'm not particularly good at makeup and i saw a video the other day where a woman used black liner with the lipstick#and i went and bought a black kohl pencil today because I was like i know it's meant for your eyes but still#black lip liners are Hard To Find#also excuse my wonky tooth i swear i had braces but they've just moved back and it makes me wanna cry#sorry if this is a cringy post i just wanted to show off my bad makeup skills lol#mysticfemme's post
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painted my nails. i’m feeling very gender today
#the gender is “bad at painting my nails”#i tried 4 times before i got it right#i am chronically bad at staying between the lines#but i can ignore that#what i can’t ignore is accidentally touching things and making the paint rough#it saddens me#so then i have to take it all off and start again. four times even#but now they’re all smooth and glittery#now all i have to do is try to resist the urge to paint with my acrylics#i can never get paint off of nail polish but every time i paint my nails the acrylics call to me#but then i’d have to start all over again#*sigh* my life is so difficult /j#in other news i got my exam score back from my psychopathology class and i missed 3 out of 40 questions#i should’ve studied then i would’ve gotten 100%#actually i don’t really care i’m feeling like slacking atm#i’m a professional slacker. the best really#i show up to every class and i write every essay at least one page longer than the max limit#but i’m the slackeriest of us all because i’m only using 2% of my power#they’ll never find out because i am skilled at pretending to pay attention and i still get good grades#once i had a class where attendance wasn’t necessary so i skipped every day but exam days and passed with an A#my favorite kind of class#the only thing i use 100% of my power for is psychologically messing with people#and painting my nails#i still fail at that though#though i think it’s more of a skill issue than anything else
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#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over#stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that#the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no#way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try#to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying#things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she#just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was#spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she#didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively#asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a#bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i#didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to#embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going#to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave#she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this#i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad#delete later
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I just saw the tags on the first baby Jean you did (I cheated and read the tags + sent my ask before going to catch up on the story lol) and wanted to respond to that too! Sorry for the non-writing ask, you don’t have to actually post this one if you don’t want, I just didn’t want to ignore those tags until next week!
I hope that your work does do something about what you reported, but either way it’s good that you reported it! If it’s something that ever happens to anyone in the future, there will be documentation that someone reported it and management failed to take the necessary measures to prevent it from happening again. You stood up for yourself and you may have potentially helped someone else out! You should absolutely feel proud of yourself!
You’re always so kind to me and I appreciate that so much! Thank you! Have a beautiful week! Besos xx🤍🤍🤍
prev | Baby Jean | WW 17.1.2024
Jean approached the desk and stared up at the person sitting there. They were clearly busy, since they seemed to be writing something down on a notepad. He reached up as far as he could muster and whimpered a bit at the stretch.
"How can I–" the person said before looking up and making eye contact with him. "Hey bud. Don't hang on the desk like that, okay? I don't think it's the most stable thing and I don't want it tipping over on you. What can I do for you?"
MASTERPOST
#HELLO DEAR LONG TIME NO POST TO TALK UNDER#I had a blast visiting my bfs and am sadly back stateside ;;;;;;#HOWEVER I have started my new job and it's super fun#I keep saying it's like the perfect job for me since I can learn how to do certain things/use certain skills#but then I never use those skills in quite the same way so it's something different every day#did have to go to urgent care after slicing my finger on a broken lightbulb last week#oh well#apparently might have broken a company record as far as 'shortest time of employment before being sent to urgent care'#but oh well#finally am moved out of my parents' house and don't have to feel like I'm going to inevitably return there#no temporary haven away from them anymore it's all permanent ish babyyyyyyy#HOW ARE YOU THOUGH???????#baby jean#lee's writing shenanigans#aftg#all for the game#wip wednesday#aftg jean#jean moreau#ww013 17.1.2024#white heart anon <3 <3 <3
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Just thinking that I kinda wish I took the whole online streamer route cuz I used to play all of the competitive shooter games back in the day and was a fucking GOD at them, but unfortunately I lived with a parent who didn’t see any value in video games and would only let me play them recreationally. Like I kinda hate that I didn’t have a mom like these other popular streamers who supported their gaming habits and their streaming platforms cuz I feel like if I had that support I would be a decently good video game streamer now
#like folks be surprised that I’m so good at online shooter games#like fam I played competitive counter strike back in the day#comp COD#comp combat arms when that game was poppin#like these gamers nowadays don’t know the skill it took to play competitively back in those days#wasn’t no gaming mice like they have now that gives you precision aiming while helping your hand eye coordination#you had to actually be GOOD at aiming and adjusting your shots and use map knowledge to your advantage and know how to use angles in engag#these games nowadays give you so much assistance with everything from aiming to map aid to movement aid#this shit is a lot easier now than it was back then#so when you get a nigga like me who is born and raised in the old school shooter type games gal think I’m cheating#when in reality I’m just built different 😂😂#but that’s all hindsight now I guess#random thoughts
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Today I sent my 100th job application.
#personal#unemployment saga#silently screaming#I've only had about 6 or 7 interviews#it's been over 3 months#please for the love of g-d can someone just employ me already#yesterday I got a call saying I didn't get a job that I interviewed for#and the person said ''please keep applying for roles with us! you've got so many great skills!''#and I was 👌 this close to bursting into tears on the phone#''keep applying for roles'' what do you think I've been doing for the past 105 days???#meanwhile I search ''part time information technology roles'' on a job aggregator website#and it comes back with four (4) jobs for chefs#every single job ad wants a ''confident self-starter who likes stressful#fast-paced environments'' and I'm like#where's the jobs for quiet people??#anyway I think I've ranted myself out
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Young me thought they were going to do art for a living
Current me is barely living enough to do art 💀
#useless text post#i probably shouldn’t care this much about how i failed to become an animator but like#i also had 0 back up plans because i had 0 other skills.#and it’s like well you also had 0 skill in animating :)#or something.#i don’t know anymore#i sure as fuck can’t design characters i can tell you that much#kinda awkward because i used to think i was good at it but nah i was just ignorant#sorry to people i shoved my horrible ocs on back in the day
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Ok though its actually kinda nice to see some of my earliest rps... 15 year old me just having fun 🥺🥺🥺
Might go digging more later. Don't rly feel like getting That into it tonight lol
#speculation nation#the funny thing is that back in 2013 u could still edit people's posts#which with rp i used that to delete old responses so that the posts wouldnt get too long#for the purposes of rp this worked WONDERFULLY so the threads wouldnt get too long on dashboards#but it's also kinda insane to remember that we could just... do that. change posts. fuckin wild Genuinely.#but ahhhh baby me's early writing... so nostalgic#i had 3 characters in this roleplay group. had a lot of fun for the time that i was there#since then tho i havent done any roleplay blogs on tumblr. only ever done one on one roleplays with a select few people#and dnd lol. which counts for the roleplaying aspect.#but for the Writing experience. rp was very definitely a huge thing for the development of my writing.#feeling a little bit emotional almost thinking about the many many words ive written in my life to get to my current skill#ten years ago i was 15 and just messing around with some characters i enjoyed#and now here i am with 663k words uploaded to ao3 and thousands of kudos across all my works#kinda makes me emotional. ive come a good ways since then.#and i have MORE PROGRESS TO GO 💪💪💪💪 i will keep at it. bc at the end of the day i just really love writing.
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I really need to get better and not want to hurt myself
#i had a self-harm relapse 3 days ago and my ankles are still bleeding. this is ridiculous.#in my 7 years of on and off self-harm i've never had this much bleeding#yes the goal was to make myself bleed but it has gotten all over my sheets and my comforter and soaked through an entire bath towel#this is not a sustainable way of living#in order to stop hurting myself i need to actually want to stop hurting myself but idk how to do that#i didn't self-harm for the entire 4 weeks i was in residential this summer but that was only because i didn't have access to anything sharp#i dont know what to do. i know a million skills and i sometimes try to use them but there are times where i simply dont want to use them#like that self-harm relapse#im so sick of the blood. but i like seeing it when im doing it. there are times when i want to make myself bleed.#it does feel really good to self-harm sometimes. and i do want to hurt myself.#im doing much better than i was this summer. so much less suicidal but im still so depressed that i want to inflict physical harm on my body#i dont know how to get out of this depression. the only options really left are tms or ketamine or ect#i want to start tms but it's just so much work making appointments and calls#what if i do tms and it helps? i would step down from php to iop and then outpatient therapy. but i cant go back to school until next fall#anyways don't self-harm because you may end up deeply annoyed by it 7 years later#tw: self harm
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its sooooo embarrassing for me hearing the coworker next to me's computer constantly ping with teams message notifications 😭 like theres no way they dont have a group chat without me but like also 1. is this high school did yall REALLY need to make a separate group chat to be silly without the weird girl 2. why cant being quiet and weird just be something you tolerate instead of excluding me bc of it like i dont understand am i being rude for being socially anxious like is it really THAT bad jesus
#i decided after last week when i finally sat at the lunch table and everyone was like deadly quiet that i was just going to give up#like i truly cannot tell if its in my head or if it happened unrelated to me being there and they ARE quiet sometimes#and i just dont notice bc im not there - idk#but i like physically cannot make myself join conversations happening next to me like i cant i KNOW im being annoying#my voice gets stuck in my throat. i wish they would just accurately interpret my weird avoidance as being socially anxious#and not as being rude and not wanting to be around them. and maybe they do and just dont care!!!!#but i feel like i need to be in social skills 101 and i got thrown into an advanced course#even my fiance said yeah thats rough you are all in a big room together constantly#and its not a small enough group that everyone has to be included#but its not a big enough group to have small factions that can be friends together either#and you all just constantly have to be together#like if HE can see why im anxious then you KNOW im fucked aldhalsja#i also still canNOT get over i 4 of us left to get on a golf cart and as soon as i hopped on the back#the girl that wouldve had to sit next to me literally went to get a different cart instead.......#like??? how do i NOT read that as not even wanting to be near me???#idk only 2 more weeks until i can just wander around the fair for 10 hours a day and not have to social anxiety sit on my chest. sigh.#op
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The fucked up little elves I invented in my head while listening to the adventure zone in 2016 are haunting me again and unfortunately I don't write the kind of fantasy that would reasonably include them
#This post is! Unintelligible!#My current project IS high fantasy but the only beings are humans gods and the fae and the fae aren't the kinds of elves I'm working with#I've tried writing with them before but nothing sticks#They're obviously influenced by the way people used to draw taako back in the day but they grew past that and I've made ocs and world#Building for them but there's no like. Story. Just some cool guys I think look fun.#Idk man I'm just talking. I clock out in like an hour. And I haven't drawn in like a couple years so what little skill I had is completely#Rusted out like an old toyota. So instead I am just thinking about my fun little dudes.
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what do you think about the recent mcr concerts
I think they suck
#hi anon im joking i think they were amazing#im just being a silly guy#a prankster etc#anyways i think they were so good becasue#everyone was sad when they broke up in 2013. but these shows make it so obvious it was necessary#like how some forests need fire and devestation to promote new growth and to come back healthier and stronger than ever#they all had time away from the band to focus on themselves as people & their own music & their own skills#and now that theyre back its clear it was for the best#cuz theyre all so much better & play the songs with the same love and joy they used to#if not more#it makes me smile because its the same old songs but they feel so Different in a good way#and not even in the literal sense eg. reworking songs on stage and improvising lines and gerards noise box#i mean its more like#they approach the music in such a different way like its something they WANT to do not something they HAVE to do#its different in the way a slight cool breeze on a stifling hot day feels different#despite having felt a thousand slight cool breezes before#its just nice because theyve changed but we've all changed too#almost a decade between the start of the return tour and the break up!#a lot can happen in a decade. for them and for us too#and it makes me smile because the nostalgia's there but theres also a nice curiosity of the new#thats just my two cents :) thank you for this ask anon
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I AM SPEED
#just me hi#starting 2 things at once and waiting for a response so that i know what colour to make the clothes#staring very very very intently at my screen#//haven't been able to draw anything for like the past ohhh i dunno#2ish 3ish+ days? it's been slow loll#but i Did scribble a lot with a black alcohol marker so it's not artblock lol :>#just had to switch up the medium for a minute#//man and i haven't had internet either for the Longest time#at least youchewb manages to run videos (at 50 sec to 1 min intervals) so i got that going on#//OH and i want to learn how to make bread#mostly because everybody is this frikckin household is obsessed with eggs now and i need something to eat fhvfbsh#not sure how to go about that just yet tho so that's on the back burner lol :)#//i have GOT to use watercolours again#i could use them pretty well but last i did anything with them was like.. 2-3 years ago and my skills were that of a littol baby's hvhf#i found some of the landscapes i did and..... it was a lovely attempt <3 not a very appealing result but it was a very good attempt#//uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh i need to draw everything more#everything in the world just absolutely the whole universe#i won't be satisfied until i do that so i guess i won't be bored for a good long while lol#//quick what's your favorite flower !!#i'll draw a bouquet‚ i'm feeling like it lol :>>
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i feel like i'd be the worst art mentor bc most of my advice can be boiled down to "don't be dumb, use your eyes", "if you don't understand it, you can't draw it", and "bitch just study realism already". all of this is true but hearing it makes people give up lmao
#to be fair i don't have the most pleasant delivery. i'm a mean bitch we know this#i remember that one time a kid asked me for genuine advice that would actually help her improve#and i was like 'solid basic skills are learned through repetition. draw more lines' because her lines were wobbly#and i explained the whole circle exercise and line warmups i used back in the day. very rational solutions to the problem.#girlie looked at me like i had suddenly grown horns and a tail and started speaking latin#and that's the reaction i get for most advice lmao#everyone loves it when i say 'watch MUAs to learn how faces work' but nobody likes the 'and draw realistic portraits btw' part
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