#I have watched season 1 and 2 multiple times but I am yet to finish the series

[fantasyescapes17]

Patience (Part 2, Final)

An elaborate charade- that is what your life has been for these past few years, and it has taken the help of more than one person to balance your delicate lies and secrets. Now entering your final season as an eligible young lady seeking wedded bliss, will you be able to keep up the act in order to achieve your dreams?

Genre: Choi Seungcheol x female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Jeonghan's sister so your last name is Yoon, but the reader has no other specific characteristics, physical or otherwise.

Word Count: 5.2k+

Part 1

Series Masterlist

The assembly rooms were crowded this evening. During the early days of London's season, much of the upper class was eager to gossip and speculate on which eligible young bachelors would finish the season with a ring on their finger.

Viscountess Hong's grip on your arm gave you some comfort. "I believe Seungcheol should be here already," she told you reassuringly. "The Viscount told me that he arrived in London earlier this afternoon… ah! There they are!"

A small group of men were gathered around a card table. You recognised many of them- including Mr. Kwon and Mr. Lee from the Grisham's ball a few days ago. 

But it was difficult to pay attention to other people at the card table when the man you were passionately in love with sat there and looked up at you with wide eyes. 

"Miss Yoon," Seungcheol said as he stood and came over to you without hesitation. There was a heavy pause. Multiple pairs of knowing eyes from the card table turned to watch you with interest. 

You swallowed your nerves and smiled. 

"Mr. Choi."

You shakily offered Seungcheol your hand and he did not hesitate to take it. He lifted it to his soft lips briefly- you longed more than anything to feel his lips against your skin, but your gloves and the watching eyes prevented you from pushing for anything more than this fleeting contact.  

"I am delighted- it has been a long time since I have had the pleasure of seeing you in person," he said breathily. Seungcheol stepped closer and lowered his voice so that only you (and perhaps the Viscountess beside you) could hear him. His dark eyes sparkled mischievously. "You look even more beautiful than I remember."

Your heart leapt. 

Seungcheol had always known how to make you speechless. 

“I- erm-” 

He stepped back again quickly. He was as conscious as you of the watching eyes. While those at the card table had been entrusted with the secret of your clandestine affair, it would not do to have any gossip-mongers catching wind of this. You were in love, but you were not young or foolish. There was too much at stake to be careless now. An uncontrolled display of affection would lead to a scandal- and was certainly not worth destroying the hard work of so many years. 

Viscountess Hong tightened her grip on your arm and turned to her husband. 

“Joshua- the dancing has not yet begun. Shall we take a turn about the gardens? I would like for my dear friend Miss Yoon to accompany us. And Mr. Choi, you look rather flushed. Perhaps you had best join us for a breath of fresh air as well.” 

You bit back a smile. Viscountess Hong was not only very clever, but was proving to be an invaluable friend. You wondered how you would repay her. 

Viscount Hong nodded at his wife. “Of course, my dear.” 

You tried to stay calm as the Viscountess led you along with the two gentlemen out to the gardens. It was late evening- hopefully the approaching dusk would make it harder for your group to be spotted. In any case, the presence of the Viscount and Viscountess as chaperones gave your little venture an innocent appearance. 

The Viscountess was speaking to you pleasantly about the upcoming ball that she and Viscount Hong would be hosting the coming week while your group turned about the walking path in the gardens. She led you to a small but thick copse of trees and glanced around furtively before stopping in her tracks and dropping her sweet smile. 

“Well. We finally appear to be alone. If you walk a little farther you will reach a dead end hidden by bushes. Joshua and I will sit on this bench- nobody will be able to reach you unless they cross us and we shall divert them.” 

You stared at her. 

“I… are you sure it is safe?” you asked hesitantly. “If someone were to see us without you...” 

Viscount Hong exchanged an uncharacteristically mischievous glance with his wife. “It is safe. You can trust us. Go,” he reassured his friends. 

Seungcheol thanked him with a quick nod before disappearing further into the trees and you followed your lover eagerly until the Hongs were just out of sight. The trees brought the path to an end and Seungcheol turned to face you with a soft smile. 

“My love…” 

It appeared your thoughts were aligned. Seungcheol reached for your hands and expertly slid your gloves off in one fluid motion before bringing your bare hands up to his warm, familiar lips. He kissed the back of your hand, your knuckles, your palm, the tips of your fingers- over and over again until you finally twisted your hand and used it to cup his cheek.

“I’ve missed you,” you whispered. 

Seungcheol’s eyes closed as your hands gently caressed the side of his face, and he leaned into your touch eagerly. 

“I have missed you too. More than you can imagine,” he replied with a chuckle. “I am afraid Jeonghan has grown tired of me asking about you. But I cannot help it- hearing the sound of your name has been my only solace for the past many months. How have you been, my love?”

Your heart fluttered. My love. You loved hearing the passionate endearment from his lips. Seungcheol’s dark eyes opened and met yours with an expression of soft adoration that he reserved only for you. 

“As well as I can be, considering the circumstances,” you told him pleasantly. 

Seungcheol smiled and raised an eyebrow. “And what circumstances would those be?”

“The circumstances which keep me apart from you. My mother has promised that Mina will make her debut in society next season. I am confident that she will immediately become the centre of attention and Mother may finally admit that I have no other prospects- then she may be delighted at the thought of me marrying you, despite…” you trailed off hesitantly, realising that you had begun the sentence in a manner which made it difficult to complete. 

“Despite my being a father and widower,” Seungcheol finished for you plainly. 

You avoided his gaze. “Seungcheol, you must not-” 

“My love, please. I am certainly not ignorant of the reasons we keep our affections secret. Your mother is not the only one who knows that you could do far, far better than me in matrimony. You are young and beautiful. You deserve to marry a man who can devote himself to you. You will not hurt my feelings by saying so. Indeed, you insult me by pretending that is not the case. Do not forget that I have received from Jeonghan a list of the numerous men that have sought your hand over the past three years.” 

You looked up at him softly. “None of them could compare to you.” 

Seungcheol covered your hand on his cheek with his own. “Sometimes I wonder if you deceive yourself.” 

You bit back a playful smile. “I have often wondered the same- that perhaps you have cast some terrible spell on me to make me love you so. But then I remember that Jeonghan would never have encouraged our courtship if he did not think you were the perfect match for me. And I trust my brother’s judgement almost as much as my own.” 

“Perhaps you should not trust him. What is this I hear about your dowry?” 

“Oh- it is another lie. I thought it would ward off the fortune hunters, but I am afraid it has made Jeonghan look like quite the villain. He is not pleased. Hopefully he will be able to redeem himself in society soon,” you explained. “I owe him so much.”

“As do I.”

You took a deep breath and then removed your hand from Seungcheol’s face, choosing instead to clasp both his warm hands in yours. “How is Jiwoo? I have not seen him in many months. He must have grown so much.” 

Seungcheol smiled again, as he always did at the mention of his young son. “He has grown. He remembers you well and asks about you frequently. The only reason he allowed me to depart for London this morning is because I promised to bring back a letter from you.” 

“I will write one immediately,” you promised. 

“I have often wondered whether I should ask him how he would feel if you became a part of our family,” Seungcheol admitted gently. “Perhaps…. it is because I am sure that he would be delighted at the idea that I have not asked. I do not want to disappoint him if things do not turn out as we expect.” 

“Why wouldn’t things turn out as we expect?” 

“Because, my love, we are not formally engaged and if you should finally come to your senses and decide that you want a better life for yourself than marrying a widower with a son… I would not want you to deny yourself for fear of hurting Jiwoo or me.” 

You sighed. “That will not happen. We have had this conversation before, Seungcheol, so many times, and I have always told you-” 

“I know, my love. I know. But the only reason you don’t receive five or six offers a year is because your brother goes to great lengths to prevent them, and-” 

“It is because I go to great lengths to prevent them!” you insisted hotly. “Do you think I take this lightly, Seungcheol? Do you think I have thrown away my most eligible and crucial years in society on a whim? This-this entire charade, this act, all the lies- these are all because I love you and I want nothing more in this world than to be your wife one day. I want nothing more than to be able to stand up in society and call you my husband with pride. Do you not believe me when I say these things?” 

Seungcheol lifted his hand to your face gently. “My love…” 

“Well?” 

“Of course I believe you. And I love you. Forgive me.” 

Your brief burst of anger melted away. “We are closer than ever to having what we’ve dreamed of. Please don’t-” 

You were interrupted by a sudden rustling in the bushes. You and Seungcheol jumped apart only to be relieved when only Viscountess Hong appeared. She looked apologetic. 

“I’m afraid some other people have decided to take a turn about the gardens. We may be joined by company in a few moments. I hate to interrupt, but…” 

“Of course,” Seungcheol replied as he dropped your hand and quickly ran a hand over his face. You composed yourself as well and took the arm that the Viscountess offered you. “We should return to the assembly rooms. I am sure the dancing has begun.” 

You walked back with Viscountess Hong, allowing Seungcheol and Viscount Hong to walk ahead. The Viscountess gave you a teasing smile. 

“Had a pleasant conversation?” she asked lightly. 

You smiled at her gratefully. “I don’t know how I shall ever thank you.” 

 “I thought perhaps you may like to name your first child after me….”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You indulged in only one dance with Seungcheol that evening. Any more would certainly warrant suspicion, and you took care to dance with Mr. Kwon Soonyoung and Mr. Lee Seokmin immediately afterwards to ensure that it did not appear as though you were paying any special attention to Seungcheol. Then you retreated to the card tables where you could converse with your lover in a low voice, easily drowned out by the noisy laughter of his friends. 

“I wish this evening would never end,” you whispered to Seungcheol as you pretended to concentrate on your cards. You were not even sure what the card game being played was. Presumably, you were losing money.  “How much longer shall you be in London?” 

Seungcheol’s eyes darted towards you, not allowing them to linger on your face for too long. “Only a few days. I shall probably stay until the Hongs’ ball on Monday- then I will need to return home. You know that Jiwoo cannot be apart from me for long.” 

You smiled. “A feeling he and I share.” 

Seungcheol returned your smile. “Yes, but you do not have the privilege of throwing tantrums and taking out your anger on your governesses. I fear his teenage years dreadfully.”

“Let the poor boy enjoy his childhood. Jeonghan has told me stories of your youth. I know that you were no angel when you were his age,” you said with a small giggle. “Yet you have grown into a gentleman. Jiwoo certainly will too.” 

“Unless you come around and spoil him.” 

You bit back a smile behind your cards. “I might.” 

Seungcheol smiled and turned his attention back to the game as his turn came around. You looked around the room. You had not seen your brother all evening. You expected Jeonghan to be here. He was close friends with Seungcheol, after all, and surely had nothing else to do in London this evening. Perhaps he was tired of company. 

You had just set down your cards, deciding that you were losing too much money to justify continuing this game when the Viscountess approached your chair and bent down near you. 

“Miss Yoon. I am extremely sorry to have to interrupt your evening, but I am afraid I am quite exhausted and must leave for home,” she told you gently.  

You looked up at her in surprise. “Oh- of course. Are you unwell?” 

“Not at all. But my feet have been hurting for some time and I unfortunately as your chaperone, I cannot leave you behind here. The carriage is waiting outside” 

“Of course. I understand. We shall leave at once,” you promised her. You turned to look at Seungcheol who had been listening to your conversation and gave him a longing smile. “You will be at the Hongs’ ball on Monday, you promise?” 

Seungcheol smiled. “I have already accepted the invitation. I shall see you there, my love.” 

—-----------------------------------------

“You smile too much in his presence,” your mother scolded you in a hushed voice. “Try not to expose yourself. We may not be in London but there are still enough people around to misunderstand your intentions and spread rumours.” 

You bit back your smile. It was already the third week of your stay at the Choi estate. Little Jiwoo had announced that he wanted to have a picnic by the river and it being a warm spring afternoon, the rest of the household was in agreement. The Yoons and the Chois had set off, with neatly packed picnic baskets and blankets to enjoy the beautiful outdoors. 

“Would it be so very bad, mother?” you wondered innocently. 

Your mother looked horrified. “What? Good heavens, child, what can you be thinking?” 

Seungcheol was playing a lively game of catch with Mina and little Jiwoo on the grass a short distance away. He was incredibly patient with both of them. He made sure to throw the ball gently to Jiwoo, and offered Mina praise whenever she did well. Seungcheol’s bright smile and tousled hair shone in the soft sunlight, making it difficult to keep your eyes off him. 

Choi Seungcheol was the most perfect man you had ever met. 

You tried not to blush. “I only mean… we know Mr. Choi well, He is the same age as Jeonghan, and has been friends with him for many years. He is rich. He has a large estate, he is a gentleman and he has been so kind to us during our stay here…” 

Your mother stared at you. “Are you a fool? He is a widower. He has a son.” 

“Why should that matter? I don’t understand, mother.” 

“You are too young, child. You do not comprehend the dangers of being a second wife. Mr. Choi already has an heir; an heir to whom you are not the mother. Even if you have further children with him, they will not be the ones to inherit his estate. If Mr Choi should die- as men often do- you will be at the mercy of that boy who may cast you out of the house and onto the street. Do you think he will have much love for his stepmother? You are a woman. Your future happiness and security relies on securing a position that nobody can question, a position that is not so precarious.” 

You looked at your mother quietly. “Do you consider your own position so precarious, mother?” 

“It was different for me,” she said dismissively.  

“How was it different?” 

“I was not as young as you. I was not as pretty as you. I was not as rich as you. I took the best position I could find and I am lucky your father was kind to me while he was alive. But you deserve better. You are one of the most desirable young women in society and you have no need to… to settle for someone like Mr. Choi.” 

You looked down at your hands. “I see.” 

“Trust me, my dear. Once we arrive in London next season and all the handsome young men begin vying for your hand, you will understand that you could do much, much better than Mr. Choi. I promise you.” 

You turned away. Seungcheol had just caught a ball that Mina threw at him clumsily and as he turned his head in your direction, your eyes met. He gave you a warm, lopsided smile and brushed his dark hair out of his eyes before gesturing for you to join them. 

“Miss Yoon! You should join our game- your sister Mina says you are a terrible catch and you must prove her wrong,” he called out to you cheerfully. 

You laughed. “I am afraid Mina is quite right!” 

“Then perhaps Jiwoo can teach you how to catch!” 

You glanced at your mother for permission. She looked displeased but made no move to prevent you from joining their lively game. You quickly brushed off your skirts and walked over to little Jiwoo, who looked up at you with a big gummy smile that resembled his father’s. 

“I’m afraid that I do not know how to play. Will you teach me, Jiwoo?” you requested. 

Jiwoo nodded shyly. “Of course, Miss Yoon!” 

You looked up and your eyes met Seungcheol’s once again. He was watching you with a quiet, admiring look in his eyes that made it difficult not to blush. Your mother was right about some things. Perhaps you did smile too much in Mr Choi’s presence, and perhaps you were too enamoured with the handsome widower. Maybe, just maybe, he was a little too taken by you as well. 

But she was wrong about one thing. 

You would not be settling if you married Mr. Choi Seungcheol for love. 

—-------------------------------------------------

The Hongs’ carriage stopped outside your London abode and you bid farewell to your friends before rushing up the front stairs. A manservant opened the door for you. When you entered the lobby, you realised immediately that something was quite wrong. 

One of your mother’s ladies maids looked distressed and cried out when she saw you. 

“Miss Yoon! Oh, you must come quickly, your mother is in such an uproar!” she cried. 

Your heart sank. “What…” 

There was a loud crashing noise from the adjoining dining room and you could hear the muffled sounds of your mother yelling. You ran as fast as your heavy gown would allow and threw the door open just in time to see your mother throw a porcelain plate straight at Jeonghan’s head. He managed to dodge it and the plate hit the wall behind him before shattering to pieces. 

“Madam, please!” Jeonghan yelled desperately. 

You ran to your mother and grabbed her hand before she could reach for another plate. “Mother!” you cried. “Stop it, what are you doing? You’ll hurt him!”

Your mother turned to you, her face red and eyes wild. “What else shall I do? Do you know what that boy has done? He has proposed to Mr. Jeon’s daughter! After blatantly stealing your dowry and ruining your prospects and driving away your suitors, he has the nerve- the audacity- to marry and next he will throw us out of our home! How dare he? After all I’ve done for him since he was a child-” 

You seized your mother’s arms. “Mother, please, there must be some explanation-” 

“Ask him! Ask him- he is responsible for our current state!” she screamed. 

You looked at Jeonghan. Your brother had turned to face the wall and was pressing his fingers to his temple. He looked stressed, and your heart sank in your stomach. This was your fault. Jeonghan was taking this abuse from your mother solely for your sake and it struck you how selfish you had been. 

“Mother, sit down,” you told her gently. “Let us talk about this-” 

She huffed. “I will not sit down! I am going to take our carriage straight to the Jeons’ manor and inform Mr. Jeon the precise nature of the villain that he is about to promise his daughter to! After destroying so many of your prospects I don’t see why he should be allowed to happily marry whomever he pleases!” 

Jeonghan turned and looked at your mother, alarmed. This was the first you had heard of Jeonghan courting anyone, much less proposing to Miss Jeon,  but that was a discussion for a later time. It was clear from your brother’s expression that the idea of your mother going anywhere near the Jeons’ home absolutely horrified him. 

“Mother, you will do no such thing,” you told her firmly. “Jeonghan has not taken my dowry.” 

“What?” 

“I asked him to lie. The dowry money is safe and Jeonghan has promised he will give the full amount to me when I am married- only… only I have already decided who I wish to marry, mother.” 

Your mother looked bewildered. 

“I don’t understand. You have not received any proposals this season.” 

Your lower lip trembled. It was difficult to reveal the secret that you had kept hidden from her for so long- almost as much for her sake as your own because you knew how she felt about Seungcheol. You knew that her disapproval of him stemmed not from any ill will towards him, but from her own insecurities and her love for you. 

But it was not right to allow Jeonghan to bear the brunt of your problems any longer. 

Somebody would be hurt tonight. Perhaps it was best for it to be you. 

“Mother, I have been courting Mr. Choi Seungcheol for the past three years.” 

Your mother stared at you in horror- she looked disbelieving for a moment but then a sudden understanding dawned behind her eyes. Her knees trembled and you kept a grip on her arm as she pulled out one of the dining room chairs and sat down shakily. She looked up at you with disdain. 

“I warned you about Mr. Choi. He is a widower! He has a son!” she cried. 

“I know,” you whispered. 

“You know nothing! You are a fool! Is this the reason you have turned down multiple proposals over the last three years? I wondered why all those eligible men never-but- for heaven’s sake,” her fingers gripped the tablecloth in rage as she stared at you. “To go so far as to destroy your own prospects?” 

“I thought… if my prospects were not quite so attractive….” 

Your mother whirled around to face Jeonghan. “And you! Did it not occur to you to talk your sister out of this damnable courtship instead of encouraging her foolishness and enabling it?” she demanded. 

“Mother, you cannot blame Jeonghan for everything-” 

“Why not? He is the man of this household, he is responsible for safeguarding the virtue of his sisters-” 

Jeonghan sighed and let his shoulders slump forward with exhaustion. “Madam. My sister's virtue is perfectly safe. But believe me when I say that she could hardly find a man more trustworthy or devoted to her than Mr. Choi."

Your mother looked more and more distressed as she realised that this was serious, that you and Jeonghan and Mr. Choi had been keeping up this charade for years now. She slumped against the chair and looked up at you with a defeated expression. 

"You are making a mistake," she whispered. 

You blinked back your tears. "Mother, I love him. And I love you as well. I know you have my best interests at heart, but please. Please allow me to make this decision for myself."

"He has a son-"

"A son whom I will love as my own."

She shook her head. "You are a fool. You are a blubbering fool, you will destroy your younger sister's prospects if you insist on making this unseemly match-"

"Then I will wait. I will wait until Mina comes out in society and is married, and only then will Seungcheol and I marry."

"That could be years."

"I have already waited three years. A few more will not kill me."

Your mother looked at you with an unreadable expression and then clenched her fists before standing up. She seemed to have reached some form of silent resignation. “Well. If you have arranged everything for yourself then I hardly see why my presence is required here. I shall retire for the evening. Do not follow me.” 

Your mother stood and left. You were left alone with Jeonghan in the large dining room. Your knees felt weak- it was incredibly painful to be forced to reveal years of deception to your mother, but at the same time you felt as though an enormous burden had been lifted off your shoulders. You looked up at your brother shakily. 

“Jeonghan…” 

“Well, it is what it is,” he told you gently. “She had to find out someday.” 

“Not like this.” 

“Go to bed, sister. You must be tired. We will speak in the morning.” 

You swallowed and nodded. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------

The sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains woke you the next morning- you had slept fitfully all night and had a headache. One of the maids came into the room and hurried to your bedside. 

“Miss Yoon- you must awaken! Mr. Choi Seungcheol has come to call unannounced this morning, and he is sitting in the breakfast parlour with your mother and brother!” she insisted. 

You sat up. 

“What?” 

“Hurry- you must dress!” 

You felt light-headed and allowed the maid to quickly help you dress and make you presentable. Once you had composed yourself you hurried down to the breakfast parlour, where you found your mother and brother just finishing their breakfast- and Mr. Choi Seungcheol sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of him. 

You swallowed nervously. “Mr. Choi-Seungcheol- what… what are you doing here?” 

Seungcheol gave you a gentle smile but it was your mother who spoke up. 

“He came to seek my blessing to make you an offer,” she told you tightly, while tearing some of the crust off her toast. “I will not pretend I am happy about this. I have put far too much effort to let you throw yourself away and marry beneath you. But considering how long you lot have kept up this charade and how many men you have already refused, I am no longer confident in my ability to persuade you to marry another man.” 

Your heart leapt. “Mother…” 

“You will not marry now,” she ordered firmly. “You will be quiet and announce your engagement only after Mina is wed. I won’t have your foolish decisions destroying your younger sister’s prospects. She deserves the best she can have.” 

You nodded. “Of-of course.” 

“And Jeonghan, you will immediately correct any misconceptions the ton may have about the dowry your sisters are to receive.”

Jeonghan smiled. “Of course, madam.” 

“Then,” your mother replied as she dropped her toast back onto her plate and rose from the table. “It is settled. I will count on your continued discretion, Mr. Choi. I will not have my daughter’s honour questioned and I trust you will not take unnecessary risks or liberties until I have secured a husband for my younger daughter.” 

Seungcheol stood calmly and bowed his head. “You have my word, madam.” 

Your mother left the room before you could stop her. Jeonghan stood as well, and gave you a gentle smile and a reassuring pat on the arm before leaving the room so that you could be alone with Seungcheol. Your lover came towards you and took your hand. His dark eyes met yours hesitantly.  

“Perhaps that could have gone better- but I imagine it also could have gone much, much worse,” he admitted.  

You bit your lip as you looked up at him. “How did you know?” 

“Jeonghan sent word of what occured last night. I thought it was about time I stopped hiding behind this clandestine affair like a child and brought myself to face your mother. She is not wrong to have her fears, my love. I thought it was my responsibility to try and convince her that her daughter would be safe and loved with me.” 

“I… I….” 

“It’s all right, darling. Come here.” 

Seungcheol took you into his embrace. His strong arms encircled you firmly and you pressed your cheek to the soft fabric of his coat. This sort of intimate touch was rare, and as you wrapped your arms around him you realised that you were one step closer to becoming his wife, to being able to embrace him and feel him close to you like this every single day. 

Seungcheol leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your hair. 

“I am sorry that we must wait longer,” he said to you gently. “I know it has already been so long. But your mother is right, we should not do anything that would jeopardise Mina’s debut in society next year. Your sister deserves the very best.” 

You nodded into his shoulder. “I know.” 

“Can you wait for me a little longer, my love?” 

“You are lucky,” you told him with a smile as you looked up into your handsome lover’s dark, smouldering eyes, “that patience is not a virtue I lack.” 

“I love you, my darling.” 

“And I you.” 

Seungcheol brought his hand to your chin and tilted your head up before pressing a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. It was more than you had ever dared to do before- but in the safety of your home with no fear of being seen, it was a liberty that Seungcheol could not resist taking. You closed your eyes and let out a soft sigh against his lips. 

“Do you mean to steal my virtue before we are even formally engaged, Mr. Choi?” you teased him lightly as he pulled back, his dark eyes still focused on your soft lips. 

Seungcheol smiled. “I suppose I shall try to make do with the heart I have stolen for now.” 

You smiled and embraced him once more. 

It would not be easy, you thought to yourself as you melted into his arms. But you would wait as long as you had to, for a chance at a lifetime with Choi Seungcheol.

---------------------------------------

A/N: Thanks to anyone who made it this far reading! I know this wasn't totally complete (in the sense it didn't go all the way up to their getting married) but I'm thinking of maybe showing that in a spin-off story through the eyes of another character? Does anyone want to see what Jeonghan's been hiding behind the scenes here, or maybe experience this world through the eyes of either Mina or Mrs. Hong? (or just a totally different member that didn't show up here?) Feel free to hit me with thoughts.

[fluffernuttermushroom]

KND Community Challenge

1: when did you start watching the show?

 I think it was near the end of 2023? I was introduced to the fandom by one of the comics that @fallen-gabrielle posted. I was a fan of old fashioned cartoons already and loved the unique art style! A few comics and several episodes later, I was hooked!

2: favorite season?

I haven’t watched trough the entire series yet(Currently on season 3). But Iike season three for all the new characters introduced!

3: favorite episode?

T.U.R.N.I.P.

T.H.E.-F.L.Y.

Q.U.I.E.T.

G.R.O.W.-U.P.

D.O.G.F.I.G.H.T.

F.U.T.U.R.E.

U.T.O.P.I.A.

4: hated episode?

P.I.N.K.E.Y.E. (ick)

5: favorite character?

Favorite character(s)!

Rachel(I often feel her ‘I have been everyone’s councilor at this point and I am tired of people’ feeling. Is this an INFJ thing?),

Hoagie(He reminds me of my cousin + we have the shared love for bad puns & dad jokes!),

Abby(Cool!),

Sally Sanban(I am obsessed with her for some reason),

Nigel’s grandson(Same reason with Sally. Dunno why), 

6: did you cry when you watch OP INTERVIEWS?

I didn't cry but It felt quite bitter sweet. I’m the sort of person who watches the end before finishing a series. So I kind of scrolled through the entire wiki and watched I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S. before actually watching the C:KND. It is an inevitable fate for all kids to grow up to grow old and gray at some point. But I have never seen characters grown up in a cartoon before. The whole episode made KND hit a bit too close to home to me. 

Ironically the episode that made me upset the most ended up being one of the reasons that I like about the KND. 

You will grow up

But you will never grow out of some things

7: funniest moment?

Wally saying “C’mon she already has every single rainbow monkey there is!”

And then watching in horror as the rainbow monkey aircraft coming into view before saying;

“Oh yeah, except that one.”

8: saddest moment?

Abby giving up in Operation M.A.U.R.I.C.E. after facing that every one she knows and loves in the KND will turn into teens & forget about her eventually. 

9: favorite KND artist?

Again, can’t pick just one! This is going to be long so the list of artists and why I like them are listed below

10: favorite canon KND ship?

3x4 and 2x5

11: favorite headcanon KND ship?

Ummm... can’t choose! Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Poly, Platonic I love & have them all!

I have a lot of different head cannons for different scenarios.

But the ones in my fanfiction are currently 1x362, 60x86, 2xAce(the kid), 83x84, 23x35

12: what's one thing you love about the fandom?

The thousands of fan theories, fan fiction with their own interesting head cannons, multiple aus and crossovers, and of course the beautiful fanart with unique art styles!

13: what's one thing you hate about the fandom?

Those weird pedo & insest shippers that keep spawning out of nowhere

14: do you wish there were more die hard KND fans in the fandom?

YES. A thousand times YES.

15: when did you start drawing KND art?

Near the start of May 2024 and have been drawing almost daily ever since! But It’s mostly animation plans and sketches so I don’t post often nowadays 

:P

16: how old were you when you started drawing KND art?

Hm, will answer that on my birthday.

17: how old are you now and are you still drawing KND art?

Same with the answer above! I will answer on my birthday

18: what's one thing you wish would stop in the fandom?

The pedo & insest ships, art thefts, rude requests and just disrespecting other people.

19: quick pick your favorite 2×4?

M.A.R.B.L.E.(Mustardy Armament Releases Big Loud Explosion) and 

G.A.R.G.O.C.Y.C.L.E.(Granite Augmented Rocket Glider Outstandingly Creates Your Cool Looking Escape)!

20: what's your Codename?

Numbuh 9.24!

(KND Community Challenge Template Credits To @arudan)

+Answer to question number 9

@fallen-gabrielle: The one who brought me into the fandom + has a lot of lovely AUs!

@midnight-the-goth-artist: Satisfies my inner goth, has helluva boss inspired art

@gen-toon: Beautiful angles & poses

@numbuh02: The scratchy art style!

@artsygirl0315: Her OCs remind me of ENA! And they interact with the fandom often

@elijaheldridge: FLOOF EVERY WHERE

@mixxxerlyishere: OC with a unique design! 

@scarlett-v-the-fox: The head cannons for minor KND characters are really intricate

@bluccoli: Rare fellow Korean KND artist & takes a lot of requests!

@gettan49: Still reading ‘Operation:  BEYOND’ it’s a really well made fanfiction

@parasite-doll: Always love the creepy art style

@mixx0: The sillies (OCs)

@kandykatz: Uses the tumblr aesthetics to it’s full extent + draws hair really well!

@bluepastels29: Insane attention to detail to her cloth designs

@numbuh900: G:KND OCs!

@numbuh-72: Great at KND edits! It looks like a part of the show if I don’t look closely

@ohlookanothercartoontofallinto: Lineless art. LINELESS ART.

@kndrules: Sector V as grown-up comics!

@sok-knd: Uses brushes really well & has a lot of different art styles 

@kukiiisblog: 3x4 art in webtoon + old cartoon style

@numbuhinfinitys: Reyna and their  cute shenanigans with the delightful children

@your-genious-artistic-girl: I dunno how she makes line arts that clear! Mine are always squiggley

@pennywhistle2021: Numbuh 30c art! Most of the fan art of 30c that I find on deviant art is theirs

@knd1234isme: Numbuh 4 in every form possible

@torra-and-the-toons: Has really specific Nigel head cannons + old cartoons!

@spicedwatermel0n: Not picky with ships & is understanding with others 

@kidsnextdoor-doodles: Moonbabies :)

@pinkmeanschaos: KND genderbend everything! And a fellow 60 x 86 shipper

@bugtoonz: Pastel art! Their art is always easy on the eyes

@rubiisun: The art style always gives me a fluffy feeling

@kommandonuovidiavoli: Everyones favorite grandma :) Penny’s chaotic nature always tickles me

@rainbowbeam231: Uses colors really well with her OCs!

@totallynoteggos: Unique concept with making the (Y/N) self insert as and OC!

@some-loozzr: Good with lighting! + The spank-happy sector V members look so scrappy I love them

[noveratus]

Ok, I finished it. Here is my review, I'll do a little rewrite in a separate post. Spoilers for season 4.

Boy, am I sad that TUA was canceled after just two seasons!

For real though. This was shit. Truly and utterly shit. And it is a shame too, because it had potential.

Let's make something clear: TUA started as a parody/critique of superhero shows and an exploration of what happens when a superhero team akin to the Xmen split up. It explores how the superhero life can break someone, either from being a superhero or being pushed away from that life. Yes, the ending of season one with the world being destroyed was beautiful. But it shouldn't have been the main take away. Explaining the lore should never have been your take away. People watch the show for the characters, not your bullshit lore that makes no sense with made up elements and trying to redeem an abuser.

Season 2 was flawed, but it was beautiful, mostly because of Viktor and his discover of himself and who he was. I didn't really care for the other characters as much, but I still had a good time. It was fun! It was colorful! And people all and all felt like themselves, broken, messy but themselves.

Then came season 3, aka the character assassination of Allison Hargreeves, and I swear this season is just there to be there to make her unlikable, do the whole bullshit with Luther, who until that point was my least favorite character and then make you feel bad to dislike her as if she could be compared to Viktor in season 1. Viktor in season 1 was flawed, yes, but he didn't make every single decision to piss off the audience, and season 2 was all about him trying to prove himself to his siblings. But no. Allison just gets a get out of jail free card and gets everything go her way, but hey, if you ignore the shit show that was Allison's you have, well, you have what could have been an interesting dynamic between the families. It wasn't. But it could have been if the Sparrows hadn't been immediately killed.

And then we had season 4 which had the exact same issues as season 3 but worse because now, it isn't just Allison who is getting ruined, oh no, it is Fives, Lila and Diego because we need that forced romance and that stupid dreaded love triangle. And this is all this season is. A bunch of montages of nothing leading to an ending that is honestly very unsatisfying and doesn't make any sense:

A- They already were in a timeline where the Marigold was never released seeing as they didn't have any powers and yet they still existed.

B- They weren't the only source of Marigold. Maybe in this universe, but I'm pretty certain that Ben didn't drink all the Marigold. What about the guy Klaus splashed in Marigold? Did he get any powers? Christ, what is this bullshit?

C- No, no, I still need someone to explain to me why having multiple timelines is a bad thing??? What the fuck do you mean 'does this feel right?' There is a tentacle monster devouring that world, does that feel right? And that's the thing, you could fix this by saying that, instead of having multiple timelines be the issue, the issue is that the Marigold being released leads to the end of the world no matter what. Multiple timelines are a widely accepted theory, and isn't timelines bleeding into each other eventually going to fix the issue you have in the first place since it implies that they are all converging into one??? Stupidest time bullshit I've heard in a WHILE

D- This really leaves a sour taste in my mouth as does any and all endings that have 'death is the answer' as their conclusion. My dude, the whole point of the finale of season 1 was how no matter what, it's never too late, how people can still be saved, that's what they do with Viktor, it is all about healing and no we are abandoning that for what??? Getting gooed?! I hate this ending. I think that this trope needs to be killed and buried just like the characters they want to kill themselves.

But the ending is not even my main issue with this series. What is this show's issue with side characters? They just hate anyone who isn't Lila and the original Umbrella Academy. Why did we have to kill Luther's girlfriend in season 3? Why couldn't Fives have another love interest that wasn't the daughter of the people he killed AND the wife of his fucking brother? Also, Five felt weird this entire season, he lacked his quips and his mannerism and everything that made him Five, he just felt like a kid who was a genius or something except he never does anything particularly smart. He is just a completely different character, an emo kid who doesn't care about his family and is more interested in getting laid? Ugh. Back to the side characters, though, they implied that Viktor was having relationship issues in this season and yet that goes nowhere. Klaus and his sexuality is treated as a joke to the point of it being insulting and finally we have the final one. The big one. Ben and what's her face? I swear she gets like 10 lines max in the show despite being integral to the plot and 8 of them are spoken to Ben or about Ben. I've seen a lot of bad cases of female characters being just objects to their male counterparts but YIKES. That one was something. I'll talk more about this about my proposed rewrite for this season, however.

Also, Reginald does not deserve forgiveness. This is a Reginald hate account. Bro traumatized his son. The take away shouldn't be "maybe your abusive dad wasn't bad" the take away should be "your abusive dad doesn't deserve your forgiveness, get the fuck away from him, you don't need him, be with the people you love who love you back." Ah, found families, how I love you baby.

Those are my overall complaints. Everything else in this season hust felt pointless. You could have written this season to be 2 episodes long without really losing anything. The jokes were too childish, the choreography was ok I guess and the music (save baby shark, whoever decided to do that bit, I'm outside your house with a shotgun, don't worry, I just wanna talk) was the best part.

[lucianalight]

Hi! I'm back :) after another long hiatus😅 I have missed all of you❤️

First of all a huge thank you to everyone who were worried and asked about my health and how I was doing. I wasn't doing well tbh. I'm one of those people who had the misfortune of never quite recovering from covid. I already had one chronic illness that was messing up my life and health. Having another on top of that takes a lot of physical, emotional and mental toll and limits my energy greatly. So I needed time to get used to my new reality and condition and learn to how manage it and live with it. It's still a work in progress and doctor appointments are seeming endless but at least some meds are helping. So there's that.

You probably already know the second reason why I wasn't doing well. I've seen terrible things…And you need time to process them. To grieve, to deal with trauma and survivor's guilt, and nurture your anger and keep fighting, keep resisting…

And well, internet connection still sucks so using social media is kind of an ordeal :D

There were a lot of times that I wanted to come back on tumblr but every time some issue would come up and take my motivation and energy. Then two weeks ago, after I couldn't crush the little ray of hope that maybe this time I'm going to see sth I like, I started watching season 2 of Loki. I watched it while promising myself that I'm not going to care anymore if it's bad, reminding myself that I might see sth as bad as season 1. Still I was surprised that I didn't hate it. On the contrary there were moments that were entertaining and even enjoyable. And those moments were more than the ones I dislike. It was better than season 1 and admittedly that's a low bar since I consider S1 one of the worst tv shows I've ever seen, but there were noticeable changes in pace and tone of the narrative and characterization in S2. Some issues in S1 was addressed. Loki was actually the main character of his series and got to do badass magic stuff :D The characters were flesh out and three dimensional and likable(I love OB so much :D). There was no romance. The ending was great.

There were of course things I didn't like. Removing Loki's backstory and his issues with his family from the story is one of them. How some of his moments in past was addressed. The episodes at times got boring or very predictable. There were times that Loki was ooc or comedic moments that weren't delivered well.

It wasn't perfect but at least acceptable. And probably the best Loki content we got since TDW. And I liked the ending a lot. I found myself keep going back to rewatch some scenes. I found myself analyzing the content happily. I had things to say. So here I am :D basically I'm 100% back to my Loki bs and I'm making it everyone's problem :P

Whether you loved the series or hated it, you're welcome on my blog and you're welcome to send me your opinions and engage with me in discussions and metas. I will tag posts accordingly in case you want to avoid certain content(tbh I still don't know what the new tags will be because I haven't written anything yet but I will make a post when I do).

There will be posts of some new fandoms so block their tags if you don't want to see those posts. The new fandoms are Sandman tv show(I haven't finished the comics so plz don't spoil them for me), Wednesday, My Hero Academia, Shadow and Bone, and The Bifrost Incident.

As I mentioned above I'm dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and have a limited energy each day. I will try to answer your messages, comments and asks as soon as I can but it might take a long time. Sry about that.

And finally a warm welcome to all the new followers and thanks to everyone who are still following me❤️

[wellcomeoneileen]

Post 2/? on Processing QaF

End of qaf -technical points. 

This is a very logistical view on the literal end of the show. My more thematic l thoughts about the whole final season are also under this tag, in post 1. Again, conceding that I am very new to an established fandom and this is my immediate processing of finishing my recent obsession, and there are probably several other posts like this floating around.

I read every spoiler possible. I read nearly every fanfic possible all before I watched any of the last season of QaF. The endless thought pieces really did help sooth me for seasons four and five. I think I was a much more at peace with them than fans who were watching it live back in 2005. But the last one or two episodes had me pausing with my jaw dropped multiple times. I hated it!

And I contemplated why - when I knew every single thing that was gonna happen, even several lines of dialogue I knew!

And I think it comes down to the breakneck pacing and editing.

:readmore:

Because right after finishing, I paced around my home angrily muttering over what had happening. And outlining the end like that, even though I was in a mood, still sort of made sense. 

Brian has been a sex god for several seasons. He let down his guard to let Justin in. Out of fear, he did what fans/Justin thought they wanted, and asked for marriage/said I love you with Justin. Brian loves him enough to not force him to stay, Justin loves him enough to not make him change. Peacefully and lovingly, they go their separate ways with the strong and insinuation that they will either do long distance or reconcile. That sounds good! It was horrible to watch.

The show betrays itself by acknowledging the Britin arc is the most important to the show and viewers by saving it for the penultimate scene. The final episode(s) have all really revolved around Brian. Even the girls leaving was really about Brian (in its show presentation, at least). And Brian and Justin have the final scene of all the characters resolving their storylines. The final, final scene was an ensemble one (as it should be for an ensemble show) which reflected on the show as a whole. That was the epilogue, because Britin was the denouement.

This is tough in two ways.

First, because the Britin arc has a bittersweet end, yet felt more like the writers wagging their finger at the audience instead of a thoughtful conclusion that was necessarily bittersweet. Whole other post.

Second, because of their editing – both storyline wise and visual execution wise.

The decision to show Justin and Brian in bed together, not even see Justin leave, and then show Brian in bed alone was pretty cutthroat. I literally paused and my jaw dropped – but not in a good, teary way, or my heart strings were pulled way, but in a … I felt like the writers were kind of flipping me off? Or flipping the actors off? I literally googled if Randy Harrison had fought with the showrunners because of that (and allegedly, yes, lmao. You can tell!!!). That was just an unpleasant viewing experience.

Then, the writers did not give any sort of breathing room for that emotional beat to end and then the series finale beat to begin. There is no space between Brian being left alone and Brian and Michael going to the club and then dancing. No space timewise, plotline wise, or even visually, as they literally meld the end of Britin into the start of Brian/Michael final.

Because of this, even though I’m sure it was written and outlined as very separate plot points for separate emotional beats for separate scenes, it doesn’t feel that way as an audience member.

Instead, it feels like a run-of-the-mill action-reaction pair for a singular emotional beat. It doesn’t feel, or look, like two separate, contained, emotional beats.

Without being able to digest a very bittersweet conclusion to what is arguably the most important plot line of the entire show, it still feels like we’re still wrestling with that in the final scene. It is LEAPING from denouement to epilogue, which even tacky, bittersweet rom-coms don’t do, if you pay attention ( I am literally thinking of how the HARRY STYLES FANFICTION movie Idea of You handled this similar thing better, good lord.)

Therefore, watching Brian dance alone, while we’re being told the thumpa thumpa goes on, feels like he’s being reset. Because we go oh sad, Britin is getting a bittersweet end :/ then THIRTY seconds later we are seeing Brian party and it’s impossible for audience members to not directly connect those dots. Those are the only dots we’re shown!!

I read a 2005 livejournal where stayci28 said she viewed the end as more symbolic than real. It’s about the queer community continuing matter what and it’s really about people will continue to rise up. No matter what is being given to them and they will persevere, they will be proud, they will be here and they’re not gonna go anywhere. That’s a beautiful sentiment, makes a lot of sense, and is a fitting conclusion for the WHOLE show after the Britin bit is wrapped up.

However, Ron Cowan himself said that was only half true in an interview here: https://bjfic.livejournal.com/2528384.html?

He said that the dance was real and was one last outing. Though the sentiment is true – the scene was meant to be about queers surviving, not Brian being alone or an old party boy. (sidenote: see post 1 for me complaining that if this is one last outing…what is Brian doing, exactly, with his time now??)

But the editing and the pacing did not give the audience that space - and so the final scene still seems to be solely about Brian, not about the overall message of queer survival and joy. It LOOKS, at least, like (as Tumblr user @sophsun1 said) Brian was out with no son, no lover (who was in the city he wanted to be in), in a burnt out club. Rip.

The smallest of changes, like having the Britin ending coming earlier in the episode, or even inserting a single “breathing” scene between the Britin and finale scenes would have established the scene beats much better. Honestly, just changing Michael’s awful line (really that whole convo) about Brian always being young and beautiful to simply be about the ~~hopeful future~~ would have set the tone to be not about Brian being miserable.

When I see really old comments online about the end, I don’t get the sense that people fully “got” the end. From what I’ve seen, even fans who were okay with a bittersweet end weren’t really connecting that the finale wasn’t showing Brian miserable, lol.

I think the writers continuously structured the show to revolve around Brian and Britin, then wrote themselves out of that with various in your face plots/dialog, but ignored that beyond the literal words on script, story STRUCTURE impacts viewing experience just as much! These final two scenes display the embodiment of that issue.

The writers desperately needed to slow down, allow digestion, and visually show a divide of scenes if they had wanted the audience to comprehend the last two scenes as separate beats and not action/reaction.

Later this week, I have lots of thoughts about S5 replacement plotlines that would have easily fit into Cowlip’s established world, and a lot about Brian Kinney’s value system and internalized gender issues :)

[papersonghosts]

Found family

I am tired of people saying "Shadowsan is like a father to Carmen." Like hello? That man lived a lie for 20 years to keep both of them safe. Risked his life MULTIPLE times. Nursed her back to health after Stockholm, when he wasn't obligated to. Zach and/ or Ivy could have done it and on top of that- doing capers for Carmen because he knows how important it is to her. It's not like Shadowsan is replacing Dexter. You can have more than one father. He's not "like" anything. You don't have to be blood to be family.

Not to mention that Carmen has done a lot for Shadowsan too. Helped him restore the Daisho. Gave him a place on her team, when it could have put her in danger. Ran back into a collapsing Ice cavern when she could have died too.

The Jolly good show caper was a perfect example of Shadowsan's natural worry for Carmen. He's spent her whole life, watching her grow into a bright, confident woman/ thief. Yet, he knows the danger VILE poses to her. "I came here for Carmen." Literally slayed. "Someday the world will know the truth about you.">>> THAT WAS SUCH A DAD LINE. And the proud smile afterwards.

Not to mention, Shadowsan, I want to say when Carmen was around 7 or 8. That's when he started to distance himself for the both of them. The equal hurt on both sides. Carmen wondering why one of her favourite guardians is pulling away from her. Shadowsan knowing that this has to be done. Yet, it hurts him because he's grown attached to this little girl and has grown to love her. He has to make her hate him for his plan to work. The final exam.<<<

THE TEARS IN HIS EYES IN THE S2 FINALE HURT SO GOOD. He couldn't be more proud of her. And the way they read each other perfectly. "Something's on your mind." And the way they can have a conversation or agree on something without talking.

He doesn't question Carmen's leadership once he joins the team. It's not an "I'm older and have more experience, you should listen to me." He knows she has more experience actually fighting VILE than him.

Season 3= "My place is with her for now." I'm going to cry.

Season 4= Shadowsan is looking for Carmen and he has a literal hallucination of little Carmen, kicking her red ball around. *Sobbing.*

I remember finishing Season 1 for the first time. "We've always been in this together, haven't we?" YES YES YES.

Also, if you pay attention- first episode of Season 2 and the 4th episode of Season 3, there is a musical theme that only plays with Shadowsan and Carmen and that is so special to me.

(Holy shit, I wrote a lot. I could write a million words on this duo.)

[fazedlight]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @sssammich @waytooinvested ❤️❤️

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

With today's publishing of Clockwork (which has a moodboard I'm super proud of 😭), I have 19 works!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

204,675 words! A few are missing since I haven't uploaded my most recent ficlets yet.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supergirl :) Generally supercorp, though I do have a dansen ficlet, and my first rojarias fic will be out in a couple months for @supergirlmayhem!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No One and Nothing (season 4 rift) So I Kept Pretending (my first fic 🥺) Synthesis (season 2 fix-it) Inauthentic (pink kryptonite finale fix-it... it's not what you think!!) Iridescent (season 5 rift fic)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do!!

When I first started, I actually thought you weren't "supposed" to respond to all your comments. I eventually decided to throw that thought out the window, because I'm really grateful for comments and want to thank people. They really do mean the world to authors ❤️

(If someone has multiple in a row, I usually respond to just one in a cluster, but I appreciate all of them!)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm only capable of happy endings.

That said, Darkness in All Things and Iridescent had the most... complication in their endings. Things aren't perfect, but all the relevant characters are alive and happy.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They are all happy 😌

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten comments from some known trolls and a couple of rude folks. It's worth noting that even the big authors get them, so I largely ignore/delete them.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut once. I will do it at least once more. It tends to lean towards soft, and I find myself kind of terrified to throw smutty things into the world. (I think this is the ex-Catholic trauma talking.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written a crossover. This tweet is the best I've got on that front 🤣

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. (I have no idea why people even do this... how do you feel proud of something you didn't even do?)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I've never even had a fic beta'd. The idea of either of those terrifies me.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Xena/Gabrielle will always be dearest to my heart. I just never felt the need to write for that ship - the show gave me almost everything I wanted. (If you ever watch it, make sure to watch season 6 in spaghetti order.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None! I only have 2 published WIPs, both of which I'm super excited to complete (they were started earlier this year). For my unpublished WIPs, I'm pretty confident in them too.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I come up with good plots to explore the characters with.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing 😭 I have this story in my head that I want to tell - how the characters change and are interpreted and all that - but I find I never get close to conveying what I actually want. Writing is very hard!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Eep, I don't want to screw up another language. I occasionally include kryptonese when it feels natural, but otherwise I don't do this.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supercorp got me writing fanfiction, and for that I am very grateful.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is a hard one.

Almost every fic, when I write it, is like my CHILD. It usually becomes my favorite - or at least top 3 - for the time I am writing it.

I will say Even Though You're Kryptonian (which, coincidentally, was the 20,000th supercorp fic). It started off as a lark to use some ideas I thought I'd never get around to otherwise, but ended up weaving together better than I thought it would.

But that's an answer that changes by the day.

No-pressure tags: @luthordamnvers @snowydragonscave @lgbtimelords @rustingcat @ekingston @thecasualqueer @fabulousglitch @nottawriter @thatonebirdwrites @trashpandato

[venus-is-thinking]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 12 - Venus)

Hey everybody! @accirax got me into yet another media! Truly shocking!

Basically, power rankings are a way of guessing who will be next eliminated in the YouTube series, Disventure Camp All Stars (the third season of Disventure Camp). I only just caught up as of last episode, so this is my first time doing the power rankings! If you want, you can look at mine and accirax's as a sort of versus situation; we didn't consult until after we finished writing these.

But, basically, the characters will be ranked from 1 to 9, with 1 being least likely to go home and 9 being most likely to go home. At the end of the next episode, I gain points equal to the ranking of the player eliminated. At the end of the show, you get to see how many points you won.

Anyways, let's jump into it! Unlike accirax, I don't really get a whole lot other than excitement out of the trailers, so I'm gonna be going straight for the ranking and analysis.

1: Grett

Honestly, it kinda surprises me that I'm putting Grett at the very top, but it makes sense to me. After all, I feel like one of the biggest plot arcs going on right now is the tension between Grett and Yul, in which you're obviously supposed to root for Grett and against Yul. Obviously Grett could go out and Gabby could avenge her or something, but... eh.

Even beyond that meta reason, I don't really understand why people would be voting Grett. She's not especially threatening in challenges, nor is she the one running the villains' alliance. The best reason I can think of is the classic Survivor "vote for the least likely target so that they misplay an idol," but like... the villains don't need an idol right now. They have the numbers. They'd only need an idol if they flip someone (likely Gabby flipping to take out Yul, who would actively not want to target Grett) or if the heroes find an idol. It really seems like they aren't putting multiple idols in the game at the same time, so that would guarantee the villains wouldn't have one, meaning that the heroes could have their pick of targets. Why pick Grett in that case?

2: Gabby

Hopefully I am not in danger putting Gabby very high as accirax was last week. I think we're good from a meta level, though.

Gabby has very clearly been considering flipping on the villains and going back to the heroes, both for Grett's sake to get rid of Yul and because Ellie told her to watch her back and not truly trust the villains. Paired with Gabby being friendly with Tom at his elimination, rather than continuing to seek vengeance for Ellie, it really seems like her flipping is in the cards here. And, because the heroes need to get back on top eventually, I think that flip is going to go through successfully, rather than the villains taking her out as a preemptive strike or something.

It's definitely possible that if Gabby doesn't flip this episode, she might receive the heroes' votes again for... unknown reasons. I still don't super understand why they voted for her last time. But, if Gabby doesn't flip, I find it unlikely that the heroes would have the numbers to actually oust a villain, which means Gabby should be safe.

3: Jake

Mr. Plot Armor himself. Welcome back to the high parts of the list.

The thing is, even if Jake's meta armor is arguably wearing thin (he's already got things as resolved as they're probably gonna get for a while with Tom, and he's learning to make up with Aiden quickly), I don't really see the in-game reason for the villains to target him. Like... Jake is annoying and gullible. He causes the most rifts in the heroes' alliance, by far. Even if the villains have the numbers, it's still good to keep someone like that in the game so that, once the villains start looking to turn on each other, you don't have to worry as much about the straggling heroes pulling together the numbers for an uprising.

Also, if I had to guess, Jake is still going to be in the main game at the time of the losers' motel episode. I've been theorizing that that's going to be around final 5 or so; it'll be at a point where everyone who isn't in the very late game can be in it. This is because I think it's going to be a major place to wrap up plot threads/get people ready for the plot threads to be wrapped up in the season finale, so you want to make sure all your viable characters are in place to get their character development.

It's definitely possible that Tom and Jake are going to make up in the losers' motel episode. That would be the most viable reason for Jake to be there, in my opinion. My personal take, though, is that Tom will probably get himself to be really ready to talk to Jake in the losers' motel episode, probably talking to Miriam again or something, and then Jake would pick Tom as his person in the finale, and they could make up there.

In any case, I'd be pretty surprised if Jake went down here, for both in-universe reasons and for meta reasons. He's just at the center of so many plot threads. I think they want to take the time to set up some more, new plot threads before cutting Jake, if they intend to do so.

4: Connor

I'm going to open this by saying that I have no idea what to make of Connor as a character. I never have, and it's quite possible I never will. So, sorry Connor stans, I have NO idea where this man is going.

However! I do know that if they're going to burn their back from the dead slot on Connor, they're planning on him doing... something. Like, literally anything. I guess he did pull the heroes together to vote together last time, but... they didn't actually eliminate a villain to seize the majority. I just feel like if his fate was to rally the heroes, then immediately get kicked out again before reaping any of the benefits, it would feel... weird? Like, he should get at least one victory. He has to talk to Riya, at least, and from the trailer, it doesn't seem like there's a big impending Connor/Riya conversation.

So, I kinda have Connor here strictly for narrative reasons. My biggest hesitation with putting him so high is the part last episode where Riya and Yul talk about how dead Connor is once he doesn't have immunity, which was important enough dialogue that it made the episode trailer. That definitely seems... shady, for Connor's survival odds. But also, it seems like he's kicking Yul's ass in the episode preview, so maybe Connor just wins and that prophecy waits for another day!

5: Alec

This is definitely not just me believing in Alec's viability to survive. This is definitely based on logic and evidence. (<- is an Alec stan)

I was worried about him last episode, but I believed he'd make it out alive, and look! He did! He won immunity! He probably won't win a third one in a row, but I think that last immunity bought him some time.

Now that the villains have the majority, they have to lose it or face an idol in order to lose it. I think an idol would feel kind of cheap here, though; the villains won the tie 5-5 vote twice already. Having them lose that lead AGAIN to an idol, putting the numbers back even at 4-4, is a bit repetitive. I don't really know which of the villains would flip on Alec specifically to take him out, or at least at this point. I could definitely see a late game situation where, Fiore style, Riya flips on Alec to take him out as the biggest threat to win, but for right now, Alec is a useful ally. He's proven repeatedly that he's loyal to the villains alliance and can help out other villains, like how he helped Gabby win the tiebreaker challenge.

I definitely feel like Alec is being set up to be the main villain of the season. That could mean he's the first villain of the post-merge villains' alliance to be defeated, but I think it's much more likely he'll make a deeper run.

6: Riya

I didn't really know where to put Riya. I don't feel like there's a whole lot keeping her in the game, necessarily, but I also don't feel like she's in imminent danger. Six it is, I guess.

Basically, I think if a villain is going to go home this episode, it'll be Yul. He's the one who's had his downfall most specifically set up, and I think the heroes are going to take the advantage by flipping Gabby to take him out. As a result, I feel like the other villains are pretty safe, all things considered. Riya was much more threatened when the heroes could take their shot at anyone on the 50/50. Now that the villains have the advantage, Riya has much more built-in protection.

I'm not sure exactly where Riya is going to place overall. She made a deep run last time, but she also wasn't behaving the same way for most of last game, so they might want her to make a genuine deep run again. Then again, it's not like anyone who's made it this far is having a short run, and I could easily believe they'll call it quits on Riya content sometime soon. Especially given that Riya and Aiden might be talking again this episode-- that's one of the major plot threads with her that still feels unresolved. I guess she should also technically be safe until she talks to Connor, based on my Connor logic?

7: Ally

Let it be known that I struggled with exactly how to rank these last three. I think that any of them could very plausibly be going out this episode.

My big hangup with Ally in both directions is that I feel like she hasn't done much of anything for a while. The most memorable thing she's done in recent memory is talk to Tess during the returnee challenge and yell at Jake in the space challenge. Since her relationship with Jake is kinda being treated as the less important version of Jake and Aiden's, I don't really know where that leaves her. Plus, her most important connections are to people in the losers' motel.

Something that's working against Ally is that I do think she'll be in the losers' motel by the losers' motel episode. Things haven't been resolved between her and Hunter (and Tess. Believe in the polycule), and they pretty clearly indicated that they wanted to wait until after the game to discuss things further. That means this isn't a character relationship struggle that we can realistically solve during the finale challenge; they need to talk this out AFTER the game. Plus, Ally's fixation with how the audience is perceiving her means that it might be interesting to see her get to actually witness the audience's opinions of her, which is only possible from outside of the game.

That being said, none of that means Ally needs to get booted this episode. She easily could, but it's also very possible she's still got more plot to get through.

The biggest thing threatening Ally, imo, is that she's the most generically expendable hero at this point. If the writers want another round of "yeah, the heroes are still losing" and a round where the status quo doesn't really change, Ally is the best boot option. That being said, I feel like we're entering a time period where the writers do want to shake up the status quo, which is why I don't have her at the very bottom.

8: Yul

I thought Yul was 100% going home last episode. Then, I thought he was 100% going home this upcoming episode. Now, I think he's most likely to go home the episode after that.

Yul is very clearly gonna get flipped on and eliminated one of these days. His villainy is too villainous, and much like Alec worried about, if Yul sucks too much, all the villains are gonna have to pay the price for it. We're at 9 now. Why wouldn't Gabby flip now and send Yul home? It's definitely a possibility, and a pretty likely one at that.

The thing is, Gabby taking out Yul for Grett's sake isn't necessarily the whole story. I feel like part of the point with Grett is that she needs to stand up for herself, too. The reason why I like Yul going down at final 8 instead of final 9 is that you'd need Grett to flip, too, to send Yul home. I think it'd leave the game state in a much more interesting place if Gabby and Grett agree to flip to take out Yul, but afterwards, the villains still have a tentative majority if they decide to work together. It makes it much more nuanced than "Gabby flips on Yul and now the heroes have the advantage for the rest of the game."

That being said, it's very possible I'm just overthinking this and Yul's ass is GONE. I'd definitely believe it. Part of me still kinda thinks that's the most likely, even if it's not the verdict I actually ended up going with.

9: Aiden

Sorry king, but you might be slaying too close to the sun.

If I'm right and the Gabby flip doesn't happen this episode, that means a hero is almost certainly going down. I don't think it'll be Jake or Connor, which really left it between Ally and Aiden. My basic logic is that Aiden feels like he has more plot threads wrapping up.

Aiden has been playing for himself for a while now, after his declaration post-James and Lake boots. He was friends with Tom, he's making up with Jake, he's confronting Riya. That's, like, most of what he's got going on this season. It's definitely possible that the reason they're investing more in Jake and Aiden's relationship than Jake and Ally's is because they're going to last longer, but personally, I'm more thinking it's because Aiden is going to get voted off first.

Plus, I feel like he's a pretty good target for the villains. Most people like Aiden and want to work with him, plus he seems like someone who'd be pretty opposed to working with any of the villains under any circumstances. The villains are going to have to choose who to target. If I'm roughly hypothesizing that Connor wins immunity, and Jake is the most likely to cause fractures in the heroes' alliance, that only leaves Ally or Aiden. I think, if I were the villains, I'd be more likely to see Ally as a potential asset and Aiden as a potential threat than the other way around.

Besides, I do think it's possible that they're going to want to use losers' motel episode to get the audience some Jaiden content. We didn't get much in the returnee episode, soooo...

Wrap-Up

Thanks for listening! I'm excited to be able to watch Disventure Camp in real time from here on out, especially given that we're getting new content every week. I'm just gonna put some other half-baked theories at the end here as bonus content because I don't have enough to make a whole post:

I think Jake is the most likely winner pick, but I also think Gabby is a really viable winner. She's going to be a pivotal piece of why the villains took charge when they did, and, I suspect, a pivotal piece of why the heroes were able to fight back. Narratively, that could make her a satisfying winner pick. It would also be a way to potentially get Ellie some of the money without Ellie having to continue to subject herself to the game, which has proven to be bad for her.

I think Derek is going to get offered a promotion-- specifically, taking Emily's place, to an extent. I forget exactly what Emily was supposed to be handling (the confessionals, maybe?), but the fact of the matter is, there should be a non-intern spot opening up in the payroll. This would be a natural but concrete way to continue escalating Derek getting favored over Trevor, which I think is good. Derek and Trevor's plotline is probably supposed to last for most of the season, which means we still need a lot more developments before it can be properly resolved.

Alec will adopt Fiore. Alec WILL adopt Fiore. Alec will--

This isn't a theory, but I do wonder if the fact that Connor hypothetically should still own the losers' motel will be relevant at all ever? That was probably just a one-off joke, but still.

Rambles over! Looking forward to the next episode!

[kirayaykimura]

People you'd like to know better!

Tagged by @sabraeal hello

1. Three ships

Hak/Yona (Yona of the Dawn), Obi/Shirayuki (Snow White), and technically, if this is to get to know people better, Stiles/Derek (Teen Wolf).

2. First ship

Mamoru/Usagi. AKA Darien and Serena in the DiC dub, which does still own my heart.

3. Last song

cowboy like me by Taylor Swift

The weather dipped below 70 and ushered in folklevermore season. I don't make the rules.

4. Last movie

Wild River. The remake. It was...not what I wanted. I went in expecting people vs. nature and got people vs. people. But Adam Brody and Leighton Meester were in it so that was fun.

5. Currently reading

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade.

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin, though I started it on audio book, realized I had no idea what was happening, and am now looking for a physical copy.

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou.

I need to finish the final volume of Sailor Moon soon but I have this problem where I cannot finish a series, especially if I like it. And also the Sailor Cosmos stuff is REALLY hard to follow so despite having seen the anime multiple times and having read the rest of the series, I'm struggling.

I have Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai on the way to my house.

...ADHD

6. Currently watching

Bleach. I keep falling into series where the author will unintentionally write the perfect love story and then throw it away for no reason.

My Happy Marriage with Evan.

I also started The Bear, which is good.

7. Last thing I wrote

The last thing I published was so quite new. The last thing I wrote (but have yet to publish) was a very silly goofy irredeemably filthy Lili/Soo-Won fic because I am forever trying to get better at writing sex scenes.

Tagging: @officiallallorona @bubblesthemonsterartist @koviah if you want to?

[heartofstanding]

Rewatching old favourite crime dramas...

I just finished rewatching Vera up to Series 9, am in the middle of a rewatch of Death in Paradise and have started rewatching Wallander as well and am having some thoughts so I'd thought I'd write a post instead of just stewing in these thoughts.

Vera

I love her, your honour.

I love Vera, I love the location and how it's so beautifully shot, I love the slightly gothic edge to the mysteries. Most memorable episodes for me are "The Crow Trap" and "The Deer Hunters". It holds up really well too - sometimes I'll rewatch a crime drama that I once loved and find myself getting increasingly intolerant of the way it deploys certain tropes, like the tortured brooding lead detective with anger issues and/or a tragic backstory or "internal investigations are bad actually" or "it's fine for the lead detective to lose his temper and almost murder someone" which spoiled Waking the Dead and The Inspector Lynley Mysteries for me (the latter in the final seasons, mostly). Vera lacks most of that kind of drama. Vera is, in a way, a tortured, brooding detective but it never takes over the story.

One thing I did pick up on is that while I don't really have any preference for Aiden or Joe as Vera's offsider, I do miss the way that Joe's character opened up different storylines. We don't get nearly as much about Aiden's family and home life as we do about Joe's, and we got more about Vera's past and private life with Joe, like the subplots about her half-sister and her angina. I do feel cheated that Joe's exit happened off-screen, between series, but apparently he's coming back in Series 13?

(n.b. I finished at Series 9 because I don't have Series 10 on DVD, I started Series 11 but it was a bit too fresh in my mind and Series 12 isn't out on DVD yet.)

-

Death In Paradise

This isn't the first rewatch of the show I've done (the early seasons I've rewatched multiple times, they're very familiar and I can remember whodunnit) but I haven't watched any of the newer seasons since Series 8, except for a couple of episodes (I watched the one with Sam West and the one where Camille came back). I'm halfway through Series 9 at the moment so officially this is no longer a rewatch but a first-time watch.

It's interesting to see how my opinions have changed. I still think the show was strongest in relation to its core concept in Series 1 and 2. You can really tell the way they were planning the show to unfold had they managed to hold onto Ben Miller as Richard and Sara Martins as Camille, and I do really like that version of the show. But they didn't and the show had to change and that's fine. I used to be very fond of Humphrey but I found him painful in the rewatch - he hits my second-hand embarrassment squick much too hard and his unrequited love for Camille was... ah, not good? I was glad to see him go, tbh. Perhaps because of that, I appreciated Jack a whole lot more - I previously felt he didn't really have much of a character beyond "rambling Irishman" but that is really unfair. I just watched his last episode and I'm very sad to see him - I also felt his ending felt a bit... contrary to the character and the way he threw himself into island life, becoming part of the community in a way neither Richard and Humphrey never did. Neville seems a bit of a return to Richard, in that he doesn't want to be on the island, except by making him have so many medical issues, it really feels like that yeah, he really shouldn't be there.

-

Have been pondering how awesome it'd be if the next Death in Paradise detective is in the model of Vera.

-

Wallander

I needed something to watch in the space where I normally watched Vera and I remembered how I was going to try and watch some things in Swedish in effort to help myself learn Swedish better (I'm doing the Duolingo course, it's not going well), and well, this isn't in Swedish but it's set in Sweden so it might just do for now. I went... slightly insane* over it in my first and only watch but I thought I was safe now.

Yeah, well that happened again.

The thing I really like about it is Tom Hiddleston's face the way in which it spends a fair amount time of the affects of coming face-to-face with violent, brutal crime. How intensely Wallander feels everything, how involved he gets, and how all of that just means he's held at a remove from his family, friends and co-workers. He has this remarkable empathy that keeps him cut off from them.

It's also beautifully shot and I'm obsessed with the title credits.

Parts of it hold up fairly well - I feel "Faceless Killers" is still very pertinent to today, though I suspect there would a bit less... "both sidesing" within the main cast. Parts of it do not hold up well, like "One Step Behind" which, uh, is kinda extremely transphobic in a way that does not refute the transphobia.

The language and accent choices throw me occasionally in this rewatch. I think what they ended up going for is the translation trope/convention where the characters are not actually speaking English but are actually speaking Swedish, we just hear them in English, and a similar logic applies with the British vs. Swedish accents. When we see text, it's in Swedish, not English, which tends to confirm my hypothesis. Given the unlikelihood of the BBC doing the series in Swedish and the perils of getting the cast to put on an accent (no one wants to accidentally invoke the Swedish Chef in a brooding crime drama), I think this "they're speaking Swedish, we just hear it as English" thing works pretty well. But there still moments where it pulls me out of the story because the dialogue sounds so terribly British.

Random note: the cast of the first episode is like, full of pretty damn famous people? Obviously, there's Kenneth Branagh and a pre-Loki Tom Hiddleston as series regulars. Plus there's Nicholas Hoult and Rebecca Ferguson in guest roles. There's also a lot of people who are the sort of people you know for turning up in British TV shows, like Sarah Smart and Sophie Stanton (who, most memorably for me, was Falstaff and Caliban in the Donmar Warehouse's Henry IV and The Tempest).

Also, this reflection from when I first watched the show is still true. I thought I was over my Hiddleston phase but he's so fucking pretty in this show. It's distracting. It's literally sir, sir, sir, I am trying to watch Kenneth Branagh have a mental breakdown while solving crime in Sweden here. Take your cheekbones and go somewhere else.

Which he does at the end of Series 2 and then I miss him. Obviously, it doesn't impact the series that much - I enjoyed Series 3 and 4, his character isn't important to the story and isn't that interesting. But I liked the dynamics of the team and I dislike losing that (we also lose Lisa at the same time, and Ann-Britt only sticks around for a bit longer before she's gone too). I'm sad we lose that. I'm also a depraved whump lover and frankly think it was a wasted opportunity. Send Magnus off horribly (as Ann-Britt and Svedberg were sent off) and let Wallander writhe and wallow around in the guilt and grief. Also, I am completely shallow and didn't really want Hiddleston to take his cheekbones and go.

* I, uh, may have written an 87k word thing that's 3/4 whumpy fanfic and 1/4 origfic because it was November and I was doing NaNoWriMo and I was too hyped up to research and too scared to commit fully to the fanfic. I've reread and I feel like it holds up ok. I think the Kurt voice is good, as is the "gets too invested without being able to show it" thing. I am experiencing the urge to turn it into proper fanfic. I need to see how S2 ends and S3 begins but it could even work well as a "and that's where Magnus went" fic. But I don't think there's a fandom for the show outside of the migratory Hiddleston smut fandom.

-

That last point is one of those things with British crime dramas. It's quite common for some of the regular cast to leave between series and you might get a throwaway line about why they're no longer there but there's no proper send-off, no real resolution for the character, and sometimes there's no explanation. It happened in Vera, Death in Paradise, Wallander, Waking the Dead, and probably more than I just can't think of. I understand why it happens but it does make for frustrating storytelling.

The most egregious is Joe leaving Vera - he was the most important character after her! We were invested in his relationship with his family! The relationship between him and Vera was so paramount to the series! And he just disappears between series and his departure explained in a line about a "big promotion". Sure, this ties up one of the parts of his storyline quickly but there's no scene to say goodbye to him, no sense of closure. He's just gone.

-

Both Vera and Wallander are based on novels by Ann Cleeves and Henning Mankell. I've read a few novels of both series (and Cleeves's Shetland series) and I have to say... I feel the TV series really elevate them. With Wallander, maybe it's a case of a bad translation or something else but it seemed to lack something - perhaps the prose felt too simplistic or too blunt? With Cleeves, I think it's a case of has all the right elements, just doesn't have the ability to take it to the next level... I find I enjoy her novels more when I haven't seen their TV adaptation or are significantly different, but they're still not novels that I have to read. I wish the Shetland series had stuck with adapting Cleeves' novels because I'm obsessed with their first/second series (it was released as one series in Australia) which were based on the Cleeves novels, and I feel like the Shetland novels that weren't adapted would make excellent TV.

There are also four Death In Paradise spin-off novels that feature Richard - I've only read two of them and only really remember the first, which was OK - not great, not as fun as the show but still fun. It's nice to get more Richard but it comes with a trade off: Camille, Dwayne and Fidel play much, much, much smaller roles than they do in the TV series.

[nanase-haru]

undefined

{A.M.V.} Free!! x Uta no Prince-sama / Mamoru Miyano (Inspired): “Canon” (Second opening theme of Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love 2000%) {In that series, Miyano voices “Tokiya Ichinose”. This is not sung by “Tokiya” technically, but might give Tokiya’s image.} I used Miyano’s inspiration to make a Free!! A.M.V.! {It is my very first for this fandom, though I watched as it aired!}

Series: Free!! (C) Kyo-Ani “Canon” (C) Broccoli-Games / ELEMENTSGARDEN {Note: This is a FAN-work}

Characters/Pairs Featured: - RinHaru {Rin x Haru} - Rintori / NitoRin / RinAi {Rin x Aiichirou Nitori} - Ai x Rin x Haru as poly-ship or open relationships; (implied by the end) Feel free to view your preference!

My Commentary:

I would like to propose a Concept - Haru, Rin and Ai all have MULTIPLE HANDS. (This A.M.V. showcases the dynamics / story progression of all three; each of Haru and Ai with Rin, briefly, all acknowledging each other) Contains spoilers for: Free!! Seasons 1 & 2; {Rin; Haru; Ai scenes} “The Final Stroke” Part 2 start; but nothing specific from Final Stroke’s ending {Yet?}. (TFS Part 1 shows only in ‘scenic’ scene.) Others appear as support.

(Though I admit I am personally biased towards RinAi fandom-wise, I’ve also enjoyed the canon dynamic between Rin and Haru.) However, this work was partly made / inspired by an old mutual; this mutual really loved Rin+Haru dynamic too, so this is made in support! {They also like everyone as friends, as do I.} I’m not able to make much for this fandom usually (in the past, I did briefly rp {role-play} Ai, but do not actively write fic or anything much outside rp) but for the most part, this A.M.V. was very fun to make! Happy 10~ years anniversary to Free!! Time Spent: - About an hour and 30 min on the 1st verse + chorus. - Almost 4 and a half hours / a whole evening on the rest. - I am not even kidding when I say this thing must have crashed my editor (Windows Movie Maker... it’s an older version, sigh) at least x30+~50 times while attempting to finish Nitori’s scenes timing and the ending. As a result, this is technically a “first draft” (I know ending’s bit rushed, but I tried!) until I can go back and add in more timings and scene cuts! (Someday!...) - My editor tends to crash pretty frequently if I attempt 50+ clips; sometmes even after 20~ clips or so. This one has just about 40 clips, with bonus KyoAni’s own timings helping to smooth out the rest! - Sub-titles cannot be included at this time; I apologize! (However, lyric{s} below the ‘read more’!) It is recommended you view them in full (or in sections) before watching! - If you watch, I’d really love to hear your thoughts; I put a lot of effort in!

Summary:

“I only swim FREE!.” - Haru

... DO YOU?

“I feel so useless.” - Ai

“A sight you’ve never seen before...”

{Lyric[s] Preview!}:

Distant feelings on a {‘SILENT’} hill, … all of my love… (Get ready!)

“Do not tremble in this cruel world…” Through the kiss of a song, better than thousands of words

We can give something up ({I} swear to you) Just to live in this moment (Hold my hand) For your sake and for mine, we’re ready to take off now…together!

“SO, let’s GO!”

Your beloved voice becomes a powerful impulse That makes dreams reality As our heartbeats synchronize… Ah, exceeding even miracles, (Feel your song!) Up among the stars, (Feel my song!) Until that dream Reaches the unseeable FUTURE, I’ll PLAY this song! {“Free”}

I was scared of truth’s LIGHT…

(Lyric{s} via Uta-pri Wikia!)

“Canon” (description via Wiki): {no, not the fandom term.} In music, a canon is a contrapuntal (counterpoint-based) compositional technique that employs a melody with one or more imitations of the melody played after a given duration (e.g., quarter rest, one measure, etc.). The initial melody is called the leader (or dux), while the imitative melody, which is played in a different voice, is called the follower (or comes). The follower must imitate the leader, either as an exact replication of its rhythms Rand intervals or some transformation thereof. Repeating canons in which all voices are musically identical are called rounds. (For the meaning behind the title / theme!) {In the A.M.V., I semi-relate (if vaguely) this theme to all three characters; plus, more directly, make the comparison to Haru + Free!! AND Relay Medleys.} (There is vague inspiration from the original Uta-pri as well, but not intended directly comparable.)

The final chorus of the A.M.V. is one I had in mind ever since first hearing this song way back around Apr 2k13, when the second part of Uta-pri aired. It may be slightly more modified in a “final” version, but for the most part!...

Lyric[s]:

Distant {“Haruka”} feelings on a silent hill, all of my love… (Get ready!) [Haru <-> Rin] (+Haru; specifically...) “Do not tremble in this cruel world…” Through the kiss of a “song”, better than thousands of words We can give something up (I swear to you) Just to live in this moment (Hold my hand) For your sake and for mine, we’re ready to take off now…together! “So, let’s go!” Your beloved voice becomes a powerful impulse That makes dreams reality As our heartbeats synchronize… Ah, exceeding even miracles, (Feel your song!) Up among the stars, (Feel my song!) Until that dream Reaches the unseeable future, I’ll play this song! I was scared of truth’s light... [Ai -> Rin] Even at this great a DISTANCE, it’s too DAZZLING An unspeakable LONELINESS (No more crying) Thirsting for an impossible cure (Save my heart) [Ai <-> Rin] Since I met you, I’ve sworn to start living! The overlapping melodies of your voice seem to scorch my heart Resonating dreams echoing for eternity Like a sense of déjà vu, I knew today (Feel your love) A bloom of hope (Feel my love) An infinite rainbow Now our feelings are merging as we become one [Ai <-> Rin <-> Haru] The stars are waiting for the sky, they want to become a dream(?) The day will come when they bloom like a flower, and a rainbow awaits us on that day We’re ready to take off now…together! “So, let’s go!” Your beloved voice becomes a powerful impulse That makes dreams reality As our heartbeats synchronize… Ah, exceeding even miracles, (Feel your song!) Up among the stars, (Feel my song!) Until that dream Reaches the unseeable future, I’ll play this song! Feelings tied together on a shining hill…

[thepapernautilus]

naut's book reviews 2023!

so i have read around 50 books this year! (the answer according to my storygraph is 45 books but listen i've done a lot of rereading and i want that to mean something so we're rounding up). here's my top nine!

not that i think anyone will argue with me but: this is just my highly subjective opinon! take this with the same grain of salt as a fic rec list, it's just what i've been enjoying this year!

1.) pretend to act surprised, it is The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir! honestly Gideon The Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, and Nona the Ninth are all competing for #1. i've reread them each in every format possible on multiple occasions. i've been in a permanent book hangover since i read it. this book. this book!!!!! it didn't feel so much as "right time right place" as a semi-truck to my frontal lobe. i had GtN on my bookshelf for MONTHS before reading and i wish i'd picked it up first. HtN and NtN just fundamentally changed my brain chemistry.

2.) The Hurricane Wars by Thea Guanzon. she's here for one reason only and that's because i got to watch my favorite fanfic author get a book deal so i'm going to be really annoying about it. this is the bar for reylo-coded enemies-to-lovers that all romantasy will be judged by.

3.) Ninth House / Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo. she was the reigning queen of the summer. ninth house and hell bent were so refreshing, especially after i'd read the shadow & bone series (spoilers: not my favorites!). absolutely obsessed. paired immaculately well with the new Sleep Token album.

4.) A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson. this book absolutely delivers on exactly what it is! thank you for my life!

5.) Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson. has a book ever had such phenomenal vibes. i really don't think so.

6.) there's a lot to be argued with "fanfiction doesn't count as reading a book" but if any piece of fanwork has transcended that barrier, it's Manacled by SenLinYu and this was the year i finally read it. i'm simply not the same person i was before i read this ! i am haunted !!!!!!!!!!

7.) Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson. i'm really loving these smaller books he's doing because i love this man's writing but i've tried to reread the stormlight archives like three times so i can catch up. this was a delight. the endpapers made me weepy which is a weird flex for a book???

8.) The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin. this snapped me out of my post-tlt hangover! reading this was a delicious fucking meal. i haven't finished the trilogy yet but this one was so, so, so good.

9.) Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas. okay. listen. i decided to read every single book this woman has written. statistically one of them had to be good. it's hard for a seven book fantasy series to stick the landing but i'd argue she did it, i cried on my bedroom floor for an hour.

i've had so much fun reading this year 😭😭😭 i have so many books on my TBR i'm trying to get to.... and so many good ones!!! currently reading What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher and i'm already having a massively great time.

maybe i will talk about the bottom of the barrel from this year 😭 i'm officially breaking up with romantasy as a genre, if i see another book called "x of y and z" i will throw up !!!!

if you read all this please feel free to drop any recs 💕

[hermitdrabbles56]

Welcome to the Spaghetti Bowl

After staring at this blank post for TWELVE HOURS let's get this show on the road.

I go by many names but for the sake of simplicity and sanity just call me Hermit or some iteration of that. I go by they/them. and I am essentially a gremlin with so many thoughts that there are no thoughts.

My Ao3 is: HermitDrabbles56

because let's be honest I'm not going to remember to update this every time I post a fic..

Linked Universe AU's

At least the active ones:

The X-Files Boys

BNA Chain

Friendly Fire

Divine Beast (Nothing posted yet)

Monster Fight

Monkey!Twilight

Tender Betrayal

Porcupine!Time (Warning with this tag is some of sonicasura's wereporcupine au may be in there???)

Turtle!Wars

Witcher AU's

Active(ish): Note none of these are posted or talked about....yet..

Sky Pirate Eskel

Witchers and their Dragons (Eskel and Dragon Jaskier)

Depth of a Witcher (Eskel and Jaskier finally meet fic)

A dragon, 2 witchers and a baby

5 & 1 of Eskel having the brain cell

Drinking Songs for the Socially Anxious (Modern AU)

Others

Trollhunters Again

Fandoms And Chaos I Enjoy

This is just...a big cursed list of things that I am good at talking about.....I don't know why I'm doing this but here we fuckin go. Some of these I have binge watched into oblivion some of these I just greatly enjoy.

HTTYD and the subsequent tv shows

Treasure Planet (DreamWorks movie)

Rise of the guardians

Owl house

Tales of Arcadia

Linked Universe

Detroit Become Human

The Witcher (Game/Netflix)

Danny Phantom

Okami

Brand New Animal

Demon slayer

My Hero Acadamia

Godzilla Singular Point

Seven Deadly Sins (Netflix anime but Have not caught up since the third season)

Multiple cop shows just ask and I may know

X - Files

BBC Merlin

BBC Sherlock

Studio Ghibli (theres a handful I haven't seen but I know most..?)

Vox Machina

D&D and Pathfinder

Firefly

VARIOUS ANIMES I'm not a guru or anything but the list is long enough not even I have the time or patience to sort through and input them all

Flight Rising (even if my account is el deado right now)

Love Death & Robots

Stray (still need to finish)

Skyrim

Hellblade: Senuas sacrifice (still need to finish)

Inside job (I'm completely normal about this)

Disenchantment

Pyschonuauts

Dishonored

Good Omens (TV show)

Razias shadow, Hades Town and several other musicals

ANd God Knows What else

[sunnytastic]

Hi Isa! I was wondering how you got into watching Mythic Quest? Who's your favourite character so far? Fav episode? Have you seen Dark Quiet Death yet?

About your Ian/Poppy question: NOT a spoiler dw! The MQ showrunners Rob, Megan and David have stated in multiple interviews and podcasts since S1 that Ian and Poppy will never be romantic. They wanted to write an intimate platonic m/f mentor/mentee working relationship/friendship(?) b/w two people with different skills who need each other to achieve their goals. Rob's also said that he thinks the age difference and power dynamic would make it very inappropriate and not what they wanted to explore at all.

Since they've been saying this openly since the beginning, it's not spoiling anything to lyk rn not to expect that type of development in future seasons (ofc non-canon shipping is totally valid, not judging!)

Btw, there's definitely aspects of Rob in Ian and Megan in Poppy, but it's not straight-up self-inserting. Megan gets frustrated when people insinuate that in podcasts/interviews. Poppy's experience working under a difficult arrogant male boss (who still helps her career and whose opinions she respects even as he disrespects her) has influence from Meg's time working for Dan Harmon, but I'm sure lots of other writers in the MQ room have had those experiences too, esp women, and the characters are developed by all the MQ writers, so we shouldn't discredit them just because we only know Rob, Megan and David.

Sorry this is so long, idk if you'll even read this haha, but anyway the first two seasons of MQ are surprisingly good and I hope you like it!

hi thank you for the ask!

im about 2/3 of the way done with season 1 and I really like it so far! it's a lot different than what I was expecting but that's definitely a good thing

my favorite character is easily brad. he is just so goddamn funny and i think i have a thing for the asshole™ character. and danny pudi is just a fantastic actor

so far, my favorite episode is in fact, dark quiet death. it is so fucking good and I was not expecting it at all. i mean that episode itself should have been nominated for an emmy. im sure there is a reason they included it in the season and I am excited to see how it ties in.

as for ian and poppy, i took back my shipping statement after watching a few more episodes. they are very cute, but in a big brother/little sister kind of way.

i can see how poppy might be influenced by Megan but I agree, it's definitely not a self-insert. I saw a video on here a few days ago where david said that a lot of brad's lines were inspired by megan which I TOTALLY see. megan is so funny in a cutthroat way.

overall, i pretty excited to keep watching. hopefully I can finish it today or tomorrow.

[bronanlynch]

sometimes I really do feel like that dril tweet that's like "please help me with budgeting" except instead of "spend less on candles" it's "spend less time watching anime" (I watched things that weren't anime. multiple of them, even. but so much of the wordcount of this is once again about gundam). anyway. happy wednesday media roundup time

listening (podcast): listened to the Great Gundam Project episode on Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz, which means I'm done thinking about Gundam Wing until my roommate & I get there eventually in our Gundam watching. I'm realizing that I barely remember anything that happened in Endless Waltz even though I distinctly remember that I watched it. I do remember Zechs inexplicably being alive again, which I enjoyed because I, predictably, enjoy him

listening (music): Body Was Made by Ezra Furman, a fun catchy little tune about being trans and having a body. less angry than a lot of her other songs that I've listened to but a good song nonetheless

reading: I finished read Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang, which I continued to enjoy all the way through! I thought it stuck the landing well, with a good balance between the final battle being difficult but also the protagonists' success feeling earned, and also I enjoyed that it ends in a place of like, the oppressive powers structures still exist but people are coming together to successfully fight back against them so there's hope for the future. gives it a happy ending without feeling unbelievable

still picking away at Rule of Wolves. I wish there were less of Nina's attraction to women being demonstrated by her repeatedly talking about how beautiful her butch love interest is, in ways that emphasize her love interest's femininity and explicitly made her love interest uncomfortable

also! much more exciting! I read volume 1 of Guardian (watched the drama a while back but this is my first time reading the novel), and I am once again reminded that I'm in love with Shen Wei. he is simply the perfect man to me, is the thing. I feel very normal every time he says or does anything to imply that he's been desperately pining over the love of his life for thousands of years. also I'm so fond of Guo Changcheng, finally some representation for anxious millennials in shitty entry-level jobs. also I'm enjoying reading something where the main character knows he's into men from the beginning. I think it's an incredibly fun relationship dynamic that Zhao Yunlan immediately thinks Shen Wei is hot (same) and wants to date him in a normal mundane way (also same tbh), and meanwhile Shen Wei is losing his mind over the whole situation and giving the most confusing mixed signals of all time. god I love them

watching: TGCF Season 2 is here! it's real! I have not watched today's episode yet so this is just about episode 1 but man I love this arc. one of my favorites after the Blackwater arc I think? anyway. love to see Shi Qingxuan. once again wishing the Xie Lian agreed to be girls with her (obligatory plug of my own fanfiction on this topic)

my thoughts on last week's Bakeoff is that I think it was fair to not send anyone home, because the two people struggling the most were so close and neither of them did too outrageously bad in the Showstopper. also I'm kind of shocked no one's ever passed out from heat before, I do legitimately think it's cruel to make them stand over a stove tempering chocolate during a heatwave

continuing with Zeta Gundam and getting near the end. I spent several hours yesterday typing up a 1.1k post about this that I ended up not posting but the tl;dr is wow I am genuinely really loving the way gravity is used as a metaphor for both personal baggage and also the oppressive & exploitative political systems that prevent social change, and whether or not that gravity is escapable (this is connected to how extremely normal I feel about the opening of Partizan 00 and the "might we carry our own gravity with us?" monologue)

on the other hand, there continues to be so much gender happening in increasingly wild ways. like, sometimes it's just ordinary misogyny (women keep dying for men they're in love with, why do we always have to have kids on the spaceship just to make a teenage girl take care of them), sometimes it's women having genuinely interesting characterization (Emma, Four, Haman Karn, Fa when she's not being pigeonholed into the obligatory role of Spaceship's Teen Mom), sometimes it's bad but in a really weird way that breaks my brain and also is uncomfortable to watch (Reccoa letting herself be captured by Yazan because she wants to find a strong man???), and sometimes it's bad in absolutely batshit ways that have extremely funny implications to me personally (Reccoa kissing Char and then telling him that he's not enough for her so she has to leave to find a real man which on one hand could just be that she has said she wants to find a husband to settle down with and he is obviously not good husband material on account of how he cannot see himself as anything other than a soldier/weapon (see also: the gravity metaphor. he is Not escaping that orbit) but on the other hand. does Char Aznable is gay???)

we also watched the One Piece live action show, and wow this really is such a distillation of like, late 90s-early 2000s shonen (I have no prior experience with One Piece and until recently used to mix up One Piece & Bleach). Luffy is such a peak "good friendly boy with a dream" shonen protag, and he is so much fun to watch. by far the weakest part of the writing was anytime the uhhhh fishpeople racism allegory came up which was unfortunate because overall the rest of it was really fun. I think the live action show works really well because they really lean into the campiness of it, I love their obvious wigs, I love pirate stories, I love the intense amounts of homoeroticism, I love the bonkers anachronisms of the entire setting, I love watching a guy cheerfully befriend everyone he meets and convince them to believe in the power of friendship. also love the characters. they put some Characters in there. my faves are Zoro (love an anime swordsman and also a guy whose autistic swag causes him to have incredible comedic timing) and Nami (love it when someone works for the people who ruined their lives in order to get back at them somehow, and also people in power-of-friendship shows who don't believe in the power of friendship but do care about logistics), and I would be tempted to read the manga to see more of them if it weren't like a million chapters

playing: still working my way through Ace Attorney 5. I'm happy to see Juniper again because she & Athena are very cute, but it's been far too long since I've seen Aura Blackquill. where is she! I want to see her! also where is Apollo :(

making: we made mushroom risotto from this recipe, the recipe talks about how long and arduous the process is but really it's not that bad. like, sure, you can't rush it but it's a pretty simple process. also, more importantly, it tastes really fucking good. we used an Oyster Bay Sauvignon blanc (normally when I cook with wine I have a glass of the wine that I used but the pictured wine is a Kim Crawford Sauvignon blanc instead because the Oyster Bay has been open for too long to still be like, nice to drink)

drinking: see above, we love a good New Zealand sauv blanc in this household. also, went to a Renaissance fair where they were serving mead, from Chaucer's, which I realize is probably the most common mainstream mead available but I find it a bit too syrupy (I promise mead can be sweet & have a strong honey flavor without feeling like you're drinking syrup), and I got the pomegranate one, which did not have very much pomegranate flavor. there was a hint, but it was kind of like the Lacroix of flavored meads. as someone who made a raspberry mead that only vaguely tasted of raspberry maybe I can't complain too much, but I wasn't selling that, and Imo mine still tasted better because the honey & the spices weren't quite so overwhelmed by the sweetness

writing: posted a fic about Kazuma & Maria from DGS being trans and also roommates. also the aforementioned Zeta Gundam essay

[irisbeingthiamssongiscanon]

Fics I’ve Been Reading This Week! (2/5/23-2/11/23)

I just finished showing Teen Wolf to my partner, and we made the mistake of watching that god awful movie, so of course I'm obsessing over Thiam again. So these are literally all Thiam fics. 

Airplanes by @thiamfresh 

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

So this was a re-read, I finished it up at the beginning of the week. This was one of the first Thiam fics I ever read, and is still my favorite. Liam is so painfully oblivious in this (which is extremely on-brand for him), I wanted to punch him as much as Theo did. If you have been living under a rock and somehow have not read this yet, and don't know what it's about, Liam basically decides that he needs a break after the pack defeats the Anuk-Ite and the hunters and he "forces" Theo to take him on a road trip. Really cute fic, lots of fluff and angst, background Sterek and Morey, no explicit smut, literally iconic. Go read it. Now.

The Storm by @thiamfresh & @extrasteps

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

Also a re-read, because I need my smut. This is an alternate ending to chapter 32 of Airplanes for those of us that wanted smut. While being extremely smutty (it's literally a full chapter of smut), this was still really cute.

with your hands around my neck by @weewoolesbian

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

This one is during season 6B and take place during some of the episodes, which I love when fics do that. VERY well written smut (super explicit, and pretty kinky as well) with very well written plot. Classic case of enemies to enemies w/ benefits to lovers. It's also a 5+1 things fic, which I typically don't read too much of, but I really liked this one. I really wish this was longer :(

Do You Love Me? by @chasing-chimeras

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

So when I read "Liam asks Theo an important question at an inopportune time", I was not expecting the 'inopportune time' to be mid-smut. Caught me SO off guard, BUT I really loved this one-shot, the right amount of fluff and smut (at least for my preference, I'm a horny bastard so I really love my smut).

As I bleed by @thiamfresh

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

God I love the "kiss where it hurts/game of chicken" trope, it should be it's own tag on Ao3 considering how popular it is. Short and sweet fic, no smut, so cute.

inglorious roommates by @honeyscapes

Relationship: Thiam (Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken)

TW for mentions of sexual harassment, SA, homophobia, and child abuse for this one. I am obsessed with this fic, holy shit. Another type of fic that I tend to not read very often is AUs, unless they're just canon divergence, because a lot of the really popular ones for a while were Hogwarts AUs, and as much as HP does mean to me (fuck JKR), Hogwarts AUs have just never been something that interests me. However, I know that there's a lot of well written and non-HP related AUs out there so I've been trying to get into them. This fic is so good, it's a college/university and no werewolves AU, Liam and Theo are both assholes, I believe their characterization is inspired by their pre-development personalities. Theo is the quintessential bad boy trope in this, he's on probation, he's got violent anger issues, etc. I cannot fully express how highly I think of this fic, my partner is so tired of me talking about this one, I literally talk about it multiple times a day.