#I have. Questions about every single fucking things edibility

[trans-leek-cookie]

so can you drink straight from the cola river or is it full of calorum disease do you have to boil it first?

[covetyou]

is there any Santa/Cupid Joel lore you'd be willing to share?

it's a totally normal question i'm not unhealthily obsessed with him or anything

lore you say? I have baubles and stupid cupid lore. more in egg hunt at the end of March too.

word count: 722 warnings: sex toys, brotherly shenanigans, these two things are related but very much not in an incest way don't worry. summary: What started as a simple joke from the youngest Miller brother quickly turned into a... beloved brotherly tradition.

The first time he'd gotten one of those gifts it had been his birthday. He never got anything, from anyone, so when he opened his front door to see a present lying there with his name on it, he'd been wary. When he saw it was from Tommy, he was even more apprehensive. So, he did the only logical thing and left it in the garage until he could open it in a disposable coverall later that night, just in case.

Of course, he looked like a total dick stood in his garage in a coverall at midnight holding anal beads of all fucking things, staring at a chicken scratch of a note from his dearest fuckin' baby brother:

if you won't bring someone into your bedroom, maybe you gotta bring something. hbd brother.

Tommy may have been right, but Joel didn't think anal beads were that thing he was looking for. By the next afternoon, the beads were carefully hung from Tommy's rearview mirror.

And so began the long, tiring, tradition of gift giving and gift returning between the Miller brothers.

On Thanksgiving, Joel slipped Tommy a baggy of finger cots, giving him a heavy slap on the back and telling him he found his size. The next week, the tiny white condoms were neatly pulled over the ends of every single one of Joel's tools.

That Christmas Joel was the not-so-happy recipient of an edible chocolate Clone-a-Willy kit. He was almost tempted to try it out - to cast his cock in the tube just so he could take it out and look at it properly from every angle. He cast his middle finger instead, handing it to a gleeful Tommy on New Years Eve.

For Valentine's day, Joel damn near gave Tommy a heart attack, and ruined the end of what was, until that point, a very good date. He knew he should've kept it to the couch, but damn if his date didn't deserve the full Tommy Miller Experience. Apparently, that also included seeing the blow up sex doll tucked neatly into his bed. He never did hear back from her after that night.

Of course, what Joel didn't know is Tommy had stashed a pink heart shaped butt plug on his dresser, only noticing the thing weeks later when Sarah pointed it out before Joel could sweep it into a drawer and tell her to get going or she'd be late for school. Tommy groveled until Joel didn't quite want to kill him any more, and the butt plug lay forgotten in the bottom of his sock drawer.

Tommy's birthday brought him some vibrating nipple clamps - clamps that Joel never saw or heard about again, save for a thank you and a thumbs up from his brother one day on a job.

For his birthday that year, a full 365 days since this whole thing started, Joel received maybe the most baffling gift of all. A dildo for his balls. Apparently. Now, Joel wasn't a church going man - hadn't been since their parents had given up with it all when they were kids - but he couldn't help but think that maybe his brother needed Jesus.

This one, he was almost tempted to keep. Not that he had anyone to use it with, and it most definitely was not a solo use gift. He opened it, tried to figure it out, even watched the instructional video, before settling on sticking it on top of Tommy's Christmas tree at the end of the year.

But, when he pulled up outside Tommy's place on Christmas Eve it looked, and sounded, like he had company. Not one to cockblock his brother again (at least one of them was gettin' laid) Joel headed back home, toy hidden away in his Santa sack. It was still the right side of midnight when he drove down his street, noticing once again that house with the sparkling Christmas tree, totally bare of any decorations. One look to the back of his truck, ornaments from a house clearance still stashed in a box that he had yet to find a home for, and he made up his mind. Parking up and walking down the street, draped in red velvet with a bag filled with jangling plastic ornaments, he stepped up to your door...

[not-freyja]

For the prompts, maybe differences in flora (and their toxicity) between eras

This one was fun! (also if you have an ao3 I can't remember what it is, so let me know what it is so I can gift this to you)

Ficlet on ao3 or right below:

“Oh, mushrooms!” Wild bounces excitedly and then starts pulling them all into his Slate, happy to finally start restocking on some essential supplies. Like things for soup stock. They go through a lot of soup, his brothers and him, just by dint of it being an easy thing for him to make (relatively speaking) in relation to the number of mouths to feed.

And mushrooms are a Goddess-send when it comes to making soup taste like something that isn’t just water. And any kind of food lying around in Rulie’s time period is always a pleasant surprise.

All together a win-win. It’s a good day.

Wild does know to check with the others before adding any random food item into his edible inventory. He knows this very very well. He also knows that Hyrule’s era is particularly prone to non-consumable plant life.

But his Slate happily stores them in with the rest of his Stamella Shrooms, and that is that. Fantastic.

He forgets about the whole thing, and forgets it quickly. The idea of taking the time to remember every single instance of foraging is laughable, really. With the amount of it that Wild does? He would have no room left in his head for anything else, after all.

But it’s about six days later, maybe. And he’s handing out the mushroom skewers he made for lunch, because they are having a long day of walking. (Something about needing to get all the way over to a specific farm for some problem or another that Wild wasn’t really paying attention to.)

So they stop just long enough to get a fire going, for Wild to roast a few light morsels while they all rest their feet, and store a bunch for later, It’s efficient, and it is kind of tiring in it’s own right, but it is what they have to do at this moment in time.

As things are handed out, Hyrule, as usual, takes less than a second to go from food-in-hand to food-in-mouth. It’s impressive, frankly, but the novelty is starting to wear off.

What is novel, here, now, is the way that Rulie goes pale and spits the bite of grilled mushroom out. Before anyone else can do anything else, he is slapping Wind’s own lunch out of his hands.

“Rulie, what the fuck?” Wind scoffs, glaring sadly down at his lunch.

“No one eat anything!” Hyrule says, going around in a haphazard circle and just.. Slapping food to the ground. No one fights him, they are all just a little to stunned, a bit too caught off guard by the whole thing. “It’s poison.”

All eyes turn to Wild, shocked, confused,  but not accusatory. They know each other一trust each other一far too much by now to think that he would ever do something like this on purpose. 

“Where did you get these?” Hyrule hisses, finally coming around to Wild himself and yanking the skewer out of his hand. He holds it up, points to the green bits of grilled fungus, and waits.

That is a great question. Wild isn’t really sure where he got them. He gets food from all over the place all of the time, and it’s not like his Slate tracks which specific item is which when it collates together multiple of the same item.

That would just be ridiculous.

“Wild, these are poison,” his brother tells him. “I told you to ask me before you foraged anything in my era.”

Oh. Oh no.

Wild goes wide-eyed, the implications catching up with him. He needs to explain this. “Well, in my era, they are not poisonous. So… I didn’t think it needed to be checked.”

“Oh no.” Legend gets with the program. “Wild, how much?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, we are talking about it,” the Vet says. “Wild, how much of our food stores are theoretically compromised because of time shenanigans?”

Wild looks down at his Slate, flicks through the inventory. There are things that he knows are good. Like wheat, and rice, and eggs, and honey… right? But all the pre-cooked meals, and the mushrooms and the berries and the一

Oh they are so fucking fucked.

[redswaberkez]

I want your corkscrew hcs!!! just rly anything. It can be fun stuff like his favorite soda or fave movies. Maybe some stuff specific to living in Russia that I'd have no idea was a thing otherwise if u got anything like that! I feel like all my hcs for him will be so lacking because I know so little about living there, but living in Sweden has rly upped my love for learning all the lil mundane differences in daily life from country to country

Okay small and specific shtop hcs leggoo

OUFFF my time has come i guess....finally expirience living in *there* would be useful lmao FIRST of all i wanna mention this one russian song in goin postal playlist

i think its a tribute in shtopors honor. bc like why else rws would put this ru song in there???

ANYWAY.

im not really good at explaining my feelings so im gonna throw a bunch of memes that has STRONG SHTOP VIBES. Memes are the ultimate association language right? im not apologising for klukva (stereotype memes) bc?? original dude is lit basic american trash so errything he knows abt russia is a bunch of stereotypes. makes sense ig

ok now here goes ru memes💥💥💥💥💥

(2nd pic: your pigs grunt violates the laws of the Ural (including shutting the rotten mug up, p.18) and i told my bois about it. I hope, your identity will be established. When crossing the border of Ekaterinburg you will kicked the fuck out with bicycle chains. This is Ural, not Moscow) (3rd pic: [i] hate the rednecks)

Ok NOW ONE SPECIFIC THING. once i mentioned that hes an airbone and here, when the national airbone day comes, its a common joke that the ones who served in it will jump into a fontains like PARATROOPERS WOOHOOOO. yea.

Tbh its really hard to tell where is the diff between your culture (i.e ur everyday life) and others when theres nothing to compare with. BUT. ill try

His concept of personal boundaries is really strange and fucked up compare to others bc here [russia] we r suspicious as hell (imo.) but also like a big family. but the cracked one. Or kinda sorta like that. BUT at the same time he is ready to help everyone who need it and he will not ask any questions. Also he would let live his friends in his small flat if they needed to. It would be really tricky tho. Also shtop is really REALLY LOUD. in every sense of the word

Shtopor knows how to survive in harsh conditions. How to make not-that-bad-edible food out of canned food. Just google navy-styled macaroni! (or Makarony po-flotski) yeass NAVY styled aaand hes the "army one". Out of all dudes at least shtop knows how to COOK. blini, macaroni, syrniki, okroshka, - all of it actually cheap, easy and real tasty. LOOK AT OKROSHKA I MEANNNN. cold soup of raw vegetables. ok.

Shtopor one of those dudes who is a coldfucker. He is actually low-temperatures-proof. (small preface) shtop is an eastern orthodox. AND ANOTHER ONE russkaya zabava. When the baptism of jesus comes we have a tradition to cut out the ICE HOLE in the river AND JUMP INTO IT 👍 or another similar thing when ur hot after the banya you fall into a snowdrift. (banya is like sauna or steam bath. u rarely go to the banya alone.) ((public banyas divides to male and female, commonly yall naked in there, now imagine shtops in public banya and his bi neuron activation haahahah)) (personay i dont really like public banyas cuz its PUBLIC)

Another notable mention i think shtop is actually dgaf what to whatch on tv but he likes to talk with it. That sofa commentators type of ppl u know em. After a really looong day he would mix vodka and beer, sat down in front of tv and gave his VERY IMPORTANT COMMENTS ON LITERALLY EVERY THEME IN THE WORLD in until he fell asleep.

Russian curse words is veeery various, it can contain a lot of definition for one word, but be different on vibes and occasions to use it. U can say an entire sentence without a single cultural word in it. And therefore shtop complains about the lack of swear words in english and often swears in Russian. "--da blyaaaaat' kak zhe zae- -- OH gimme this gun. you started speaking russian which means things are bad." ill brb later with more things but now im kinda tired rn so here u go.

[einloukrativesangebot]

January 2024 Destiel Fic Recs

Here are some of my favourite Destiel fics posted in January 2024. The point of this rec list is to shine light on some new fics that otherwise might go drowing in the ocean of Destiel fics on ao3.

cure of all, this fruit divine by hurtygurdyman

Father, I am sorry my nature does not come easily to me. I know neither how I was made nor why I feel so alone.Cas draws a line in the soil that will one day become the Mississippi River. He looks up at God with a feeling in his gut he doesn’t want to name. spnflash day 4: envy.

This one is very short and poetic. (868 words)

i'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet by 13zepptraxx

“Thanks,” he whispers still, allowing Castiel’s hand to reside on the side of his face. He could shrug it away, and he knows he probably should, because right now he and Cas are tiptoeing along a line set a long time ago, one that they both silently agreed they should never cross. Across this line is uncharted waters, unknown consequences, no semblance of what will become; but it’s important to note that Dean wants to cross that line, all the time, every single day. He yearns so badly for it; so he’s taking this moment, this blurring of the line. Tomorrow they can go back to only looking at one another when the other is looking elsewhere, and stealing touches in the form of healing or in a quick pat on the shoulder that turns into a balled fist as they walk away. Tonight, Dean will allow himself to be weak.

Everything about this fic is just perfect. The fucking hours I spend going through every fic posted in january were worth it just for this one, honestly. (1,642 words)

What a Brave Little Ant You Are by withthekeyisking

The first time man-in-charge Cas shows up at Bobby's place, Dean promptly flips the fuck out and shoots him.By the fourth time, Dean doesn't bother reaching for his gun.

Season 7 godstiel, very interesting dynamic. (2,320 words)

Baker Company Pie by S1nging_Y0u_S0ftly

Castiel remembers a recipe from the Great Depression, and decides to bake it for Dean. It's a water pie, something he'd had a few times as a child and remembers it being edible. It will have to do.

This is a coda fic for Ninety One Whiskey, and if I loved 91w as much as I did, you'll love this one as well. (2,570 words)

Nobody Here But Us Chickens by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean has been trying out endearments inside his head for years. He can’t help it. Some sentences feel wrong on his tongue without one, the unsaid words jumping over themselves to leap out of his mouth like living things. It took him a long time to label it love, but what else could the urge be when Cas makes him feel so much? When Cas is hurt, Dean's gruff, “You good?” needs a comma and a ‘sweetheart’ at the end. Calling out in a dank, dusty storage room for a hand with hauling boxes or needing a clarifying eye on an obscure, potentially magical trinket wants to start with a questioning, “Hey, honey?” He can almost taste it, dripping off his tongue sweet and wanting, casual in its intimacy. Sometimes, Dean slips up. “Good morning, sunshine,” while passing Cas a doctored-up cup of coffee in his favourite mug has become a morning ritual. It’s innocuous enough to get away with if he doesn’t think about it too hard. Sometimes, he tries his best to make it sarcastic, but it inevitably comes out too sincere. Cas hasn't caught on yet, though, and Sam has stopped shooting him questioning side-eyes, so Dean's pretty sure he's pulling it off. The problem is that it’s not enough. It’s never enough. 

Very fluffy, they are soo soft in this, I love it. (4022 words)

45 by soft_pine

Dean's 4th, 5th, and 45th birthdays.

The contrast between those birthdays just chef's kiss! (1,158 words)

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl

Dean's birthday doesn't go as planned. Cas is definitely not throwing a tantrum about it. (In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though.)

Another Dean's birthday fic, I actually read this one his birthday :). (2,779 words)

Don’t Let the Sound (of Your Own Wheels) Drive You Crazy by Eightbitpale

Like a crazy person, like this is new information, Dean thinks: there’s an angel of the lord in my passenger seat. One day I brought him home with me and he hasn’t left since. Cas sighs loudly, and turns a little in his seat to look at Dean head on.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

“Don’t read my thoughts, Cas”, Dean replies on autopilot, knowing even as he says it that that’s not what the angel meant. There’s a beat of silence between them where Cas just lets the tension hang, knowing all too well that the steely look he’s currently beaming into the side of Dean’s head is enough to make him crack eventually. Dean cracks. “I guess I was just thinking that some shit never changes, y’know?”Its been a long drive. Dean is thinking loudly.

I love the way this one was written, the atmosphere was really special.(3,917 words)

I (22m) am concerned about a coworker (30sm) but am wary of getting too involved in his life by bitterred

A coworker at the Gas-N-Sip that Castiel works at has noticed some weird things about him and decided to write into /r/relationships for advice. "I (22M) have a coworker (mid-30s, I think, M) and this dude (I guess I’ll call him Steve, it's anonymous enough) is more than a little weird. We work at a convenience store/gas station. It’s like he doesn’t understand any pop culture reference, at all, but talks about stuff from ancient history (like, literally, stuff that is in the bible) like he knows it happened for sure."

Short reddit fic about a one of Cas' coworkers perspective on Dean. (492 words)

but honey, most of them are true by Owco

Sam overhears some gossip between two hunters at a bar. He is surprised to learn that it’s all true. Set sometime after Exodus, around Let the Good Times Roll.

A very funny and unique take on the "Sam finds out about Dean and Cas"- trope. (2,996 words)

If you read and enjoy these fics make sure that you leave kudos and/or write a comment! Some of these stories are first fic the author posted on ao3 and they deserve all the love and motivation.

(And please feel free to point out any mistakes I might have made with the links and stuff... hope you enjoy! See you next month for the february recs.)

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

annotated DBD!!! episode FIVE

NIKO'S VOICE in the thingy!

"dyou wanna kiss monty" *cue charles face*

YOU CAN HEAR CHARLES' MOM CRYING OH NOOO

TNN'S SCREAM LMAOO

not the David/Charles paralells

Edwin. I think he really is trying to make a joke there. At least he can read the room now.

Eddie's maaad

Well I guess Charles can't read the room

how did he know??

also. ghosts don't sleep so they don't have nightmares. not important just interesting.

this scene is actually so sweet. more breakups on screen should be this sweet.

Who are the Taurus and Aries in the group?

I blame the guy from School Spirits for making me trust these assholes.

is that the University of Dublin?

it was exactly the plan.

they were gonna go to school together awww

they didn't even get split up after dying..

"they're just like us" "they're just best mates" Charles what are you saying

These guys REALLY don't want to do a seagull thing, huh.

MUSIC

only partly relevant but there's a US flag behind Niko as she mails the letter

wait where have I heard the music before?? the thing that plays when Niko sees Maxine's letter?

The music that plays after the chapter title!!!

the "Pathway to Knowledge" sign has a bunch of circles in it

Niko is so dramatic the way she moves omg

Charles: haha the cliff thing was good right?

Edwin: *sighs in oh fuck* *changes the subject*

Charles: Oh so we're talking about THIS now are we?

Also I think it's really cool for a teen show to have characters this excited about kissing. Like, I feel like lots of shows only have teens who are much more involved, and not everyone is into that.

Niko-ass question

the way he talks and moves when he says "I felt it up here" (in his head) wtfff he's so cute

aw you've been holding on to that one

the tone of voice when he says "of course"

AND now we're back to these two

the music here is so cute

interruption trope

Niko's smile when she looks at them all <2

Interesting that keeping them alive is what gets Niko to finally tell these two to be nice...

I love her voice when she says "outlook not so good"

Also it's interesting that Niko checks the 8-ball so frequently. She wants to know when she will die. (she won't tho!)

ew that mushroom thing CANNOT smell good

Also don't mushrooms have roots?? that soil looks shallow.

"I was supposed to see Edwin today, but of course they're off on another stupid case" he sounds like a caricature of himself. I love him.

actually I think his shirt might actually have a car on it

the way he's sittingggg

maybe you wanna try.... harder

why was that so hard for her to say? Also I feel like there's a double meaning here..

Monty perks up his little head IN GONNA DIEE

I don't know what that stereotype teenage tone of voice is called, but Monty has it every time he talks to Esther and it's hilarious

DON'T YOU DARE MENTION THAT BLOOD GODDESS NAME

There are little plants in jars on the windowsill

ew she grabs his face. threats of violence

So they don't remember even leaving the party, huh

Edwin is so serious lol

Also have they NEVER been to Maren's house?? In a different memory, Brad was totally at Maren's. Why did he never see the tree until he died?

I wonder if Maren only painted the eyes after hearing about her pictures.. as if she could feel people looking at her. That's pretty sad to think about.

no bro the eyes are not part of the bark

Brills? Really?

Charles has his Doom Patrol coat but Edwin literally didn't even change clothes

Why is that girl even talking to a "reporter" then?? do you think a reporter will be impressed by your drug use? do you think she will care if you can't give her information?

he wants to be so cool with the glasses

I remember that Jenny said a similar skeletons line at one point, maybe with the letters?? I'll have to recheck my notes!

why does this mascot bitch care??

THE KNIVES

so assuming Jenny is being literal that every edible bachelorette in town has cats, we can assume that there are fewer than 146 single women in all of Port Townsend.

her lil look round the room

Does Niko have a pompom stuck to her nail???

maggot-infested!?

Trawler is a bad name for a newspaper

we don't actually have time to see Charles face when Richy mentions the supposed suicide pact

Crystal: I talked to Maren, and (serious words)

Edwin, looking at Charles: 👁👄👁

Charles' eyebrow raise at the word "hand jobs" LMAOO

she really said ur 2 pussy 2 kill ppl. not me tho

MUSIC!!!

and for the whole rest of the episode, we never find out more about Shelby apparently stalking Brad

OH. MY. FUCK.

rule number one: if she sends you anonymous floral stationary letters from a typewriter, YOU are not the over-the-top crazy one.

is there a board on the wall with three clocks???

He rly said "ur too hot and jock-like to converse with her"

she died in her blue dragon tracksuit.

Those two REALLY like doing that creepy teleport thing, huh.

Also they totally ignore Crystal for this entire interaction

"can fuel a hyste- can change a ghost" look who's on his misogyny redemption arc

nevermind

at least he's being all business and actually wants to get to the bottom of it

I don't know what to say exactly, but I love the entire Crystal-Charles interaction after the Shelby thing

oh yeah, and the eggshells line! I said that was important!

what does a peacock feather tattoo mean??

"run" sure. totally not stalking.

I think this is the first time in the series that Jenny makes a joke. She really was opening up.

the way when Maren mentions adderall, Charles looks down like 'damn it' and Edwin is like "hmmm"

perhaps we should follow up with this 'Molly' character

Also I kinda do wanna hear the molly story now. what exactly was going on?

why don't you want to be seen with her, Maren? because you don't want her death to trace back to you?

Edwin is already a little suspicious of Maren...

yes Edwin, we all care about her bathroom.

there's. a fucking doll shoe glued to her photo wall??

that is a weird fuckin place to put a light switch

the frickin. lean in front of the closet.

wait there's a ballerina thing!! like Isolde from the comics!

random round red lantern on the dresser. sure.

there are lights on by the closet, but none by the bed and none of the overheads. is that weird, or am I weird?

he just fuckin. breaks it open. I guess Maren knows less about the killing biz than Esther.

Thank gods Crystal has the sense to not drink that!

Do you think they have Maren a green phone case just so we could tell hers apart?

The way she doesn't even realize what she was doing until it was over..

pk but why tf did they go out of their way to write ""desire"" into the script?? "I've got zero desire to tell them" NOBODY TASKS LIKE THAT

why is there one random really bright light??

As far as I know, nobody told Crystal about Edwin's death, right?? Did she figure it out when they were talking to TNN or something?

"cutting meat can be really cathartic"

dragon tattoo??

what's her ear tattoo?? if anyone has a tattoo guide for Jenny lmk

your oversized nightshirt

she can just accidentally see into Jenny's THIRD FLOOR window from that close by in the alley and see what she's watching??

Good for Jenny, she is always straight up and says what she feels

I LOVE the backlighting bc even though this isn't a cartoon, Machine has such a good character silhouette. the obvious cardigan and loose skirt. the chunky mary Jane's. peak character design incredible shape language, looks fantastic with the cleaver.

Jenny is alive only because Maxine tripped on some shit and impaled herself. Holy fuck.

Maxine: overturns the fucking table

Crystal: um why are there flowers in here

they met up with those guys back at the school.

your gonna what?

I love the gloved hand drawing the bag all the way closed. like why does that make it look like they're about to make out in there. also the little melody that plays at that time!!

the random mix of warm and cool lights. okay.

I love that Charles can actualy talk about his feelings now!! that, and he and Crystal made up.

Ironic. worrying about being bad is what Edwin says means you're good, so do you then have to not worry? I mean, at least he tries.

What is Charles thinking when Edwin says he's the best person he knows? does he trust Edwin's opinion on that?

"let's get you sorted first" and then that little sniff. there's so much going on there.

Edwin was being pretty courteous by not making it about himself, but he also just want ready to talk about his shit yet. Charles might feel cared for, but he also might worry that Edwin can't come to him with this stuff anymore, but he is still respectful and A)asks about Edwin's feelings and B) doesn't press the issue

David wants to give Crystal a smooth brain!? is that what he said?

Also yeah. he seems really excited to eat some dumpster fish.

She wants to kill him.

why is the fog. glowing.

I mean, trust this show to always have some random-ass light source.

WHEE

so Monty must have met Charles and Edwin near the butcher shop, then Edwin went off with Monty and Charles saw whatever the fuck happened to Crystal. Well, it must have been some other time on the way, actually, because um. Edwin editor not have left of he saw the whole. Production. going on there.

"I have something to tell you" Monty is so fucking excited :(((

"I think it best of we stop seeing eachother" WHY. It's this, like. A Yue thing? He just thinks being around Monty is too confusing to deal with?

If Edwin thinks Monty isn't in love with him, then all he's doing is saying that he's in love with Charles. So why would he want to stop seeing Monty? If he DOES know Monty likes him, why would he draw it out so long and let himself be misconstrued?

I think that Edwin changes his mind about what to say literally as he says it. New territory for him, I'm sure.

Monty's voice is so sadd when he says baggage

Do you think Monty knew that Edwin wouldn't feel him?

while you don't want things to be awkward, then what? I hate when characters get cut off. I WANNA KNOW!!!

MUSIC

the songs in this show always match the vibe PERFECTLY!

Also Monty's FACE. I always say you can tell this is his first time with people feelings because he puts them ALL THE WAY on display.

He's sad bc Edwin doesn't like him back but he's also maybe upset that he failed Esther but also scared of what Esther will think/do and probably guilty for thinking about Esther instead of Edwin but also guilty for having feelings for Edwin both because of Edwin's reaction and bc of his mission and also hurt that Edwin doesn't live him back and also blindsided because he thought otherwise and like. there's so many things going on and none of them even really occurred to him before and he's thinking up every single one in succession and you can see it on his face.

NOT THE CAT EYES

[jxckyx3]

[ BTW I fucked up the socials in the pic, they're switched (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)]

I love rare Kyle pairs. Can't you tell?

(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

💜🖤💜

__________________________________

Fandom: South Park

Ship: Kyle x Jimmy & Clyde

Top(s): Jimmy & Clyde

Bottom: Kyle

AU: Highschool

Setting: School / Kyle's house

Type: Fluff / Comfort

Warning ⚠️: The chapter that you're about to read contains swearing, mention of death, sexual humor, dark humor and other mentions or situations that may disturb, trigger or offend the viewer. Viewer's discretion is advised.

__________________________________

Jimmy's pov -

"Alright and uh... Kyle Broflovski? Is there a Kyle here?" The substitute asked, looking up from his clipboard to glance around the room. Nobody said a word, silently looking around themselves. I glanced at the door, waiting any moment for it to burst open and in run a flustered redhead.

Yet, he didn't come.

"Alright then, guess he's not here." The teacher sighed to himself, marking something down with his red pen. I frowned at that, snapping my eyes back to the seat next to Stan, where Kyle usually sat. It was unusual in itself that he wasn't here. He was never absent. And when we was, Stan would always tell the teacher the reason why, substitute or not.

There would be times where Kyle was tardy or times where he'd come in, out of breath right before the bell rung. He was a person who always loved to do things right the first time and always be on time. But he couldn't do those both at the same time. He'd often be late because he'd work too hard or too thorough on a project or something. It was admirable, but I could tell it was exhausting.

Regardless of that, Stan always knew.

But now, Stan looked confused as well. But I didn't need to ask him now and get caught by the teacher, since I noticed he was already on the case. I watched as he slowly reached into his open backpack that was leaning against his desk, pulling out his phone to the side and turning it on.

I flicked my eyes to the teacher, making sure he was engrossed in whatever the hell he was teaching before looking back to Stan. He quickly typed with his left hand, looking up every now and then to make sure he wouldn't be caught.

Honestly smart. Most people that text in class keep their eyes glued to their phone in hopes of typing faster. I felt a tap on my shoulder, turning to my left to see Clyde giving me a questioning look. I lifted my hands, doing a quick typing motion before gesturing to Stan.

He nodded in understanding, doing the same as I was doing by flickering his eyes between Stan and the teacher.

It was easy to understand what eachother were talking about. Having developed a way to speaking without words. It consisted of gestures more than anything, but simple eye exchanges were put in as well. They were harder to read, but when the situation was obvious, it was easy to understand.

The reason for this wasn't only because we were close friends. It was because we both had eyes for the same person. Kyle, to be exact. It was honestly a surprise when me and Clyde figured out we both had a crush on Kyle. Well, more than a crush. But we wouldn't admit that out loud.

It was nearly back in fourth grade when I realized my feelings. I had always had a certain draw to him, but I never really questioned it. That was until Kyle had started to hangout with Tolkein more. It drew him closer to our group, and it was easy to figure out then and there that I had a thing for him.

It confused me at first, because I've never been attracted to guys. Sure I would admire them, but I never wanted to be with them or anything like that.

And it was only a good month ago when I found out Clyde also liked Kyle. We had been ditched by our friends who were on a double date. Craig went with Tweek, and Tolkein had gone with Nichole. So they left us in our own single-life misery. That night, Clyde had came over and we drank a few, ate a few edibles and just talked. It wasn't anything special. Just two guys bored out of their minds and wishing they had someone to hang on their arm.

Clyde had dated Bebe for a while, but it didn't really work, so he was at the same stage as me. I myself dated a few girls, but after the third breakup, I just stopped trying. It was when he brought up his type, that I had put the pieces together.

'Firey, red head, pale skin, oh! And feckless! God I love freckles. Green eyes too, they're real pretty. Nice ass, slim, pretty smile. That's, my type dude.', is what he had said, in his exact words. It wasn't hard to figure it out. The only girl that looked that was, was Red. But she didn't have green eyes or freckles, so it was easy to turn her away.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I still remember any of this. I was high our of my mind. But I do recall him saying something about 'adorable nerds with anger issues' and that was enough evidence for me. I had straight up asked him if he liked Kyle, and if he was sober, I bet he would've responded with sputters and curses at me. But instead, he had simply nodded his head to confirm my suspicions.

The next day he was begging me not to tell anyone, but I just came out to him and revealed that I also like Kyle.

It was something stupid to bond over, but in a way I guess it made us feel less lonely about being single. I had asked him when the first time he knew he was in love, and surprisingly, he was more than happy to share.

His story, was that back in sixth grade, nobody gave him anything for Valentine's day. He did get a couple of cards but none came with candy or any love letters. Just a simply, 'Happy Valentine's Day!' and that was it. Clyde was an emotional kid. He still is sometimes, so it wasn't a surprise when he told me that he broke down behind the bleachers in the gym afterwards.

Kyle had been the one to find him, comforting him and telling him nice things. Supposedly Kyle had shared half his candy with him since he was diabetic anyways, and the two just sat talking. Clyde told me all about how he loved the way Kyle's lips curved at the top when he smiled, almost like a cat. Or the way his nose scrunched up whenever someone said something stupid. I had to admit, those were some of my favorite parts about Kyle too.

I heard a sigh from Stan, loud and relived. I put my attention back on him, watching as he slid his phone back away. I narrowed my eyes at Clyde, getting a shrug in response. I nodded, leaning back in my chair.

Guess we'd just have to ask at lunch.

I did feel weird at times whenever we tried to check in with Kyle. Even if he himself didn't know we were doing it. But it was hard not to look out for his well being with Cartman still around. He had dragged Kyle and the other two in a lot of shit as kids, and only when we started freshman year did we all realize how fucking insane it all was. It was a miracle how were all still alive at this point.

Less intense stuff happened now. But it was still relieving to check up on him every now and then. If not for him, then us, because we worry too much.

***

"Did you guys notice that Kyle wasn't at school today?" Clyde asked, all of us sitting down at our table. Our table was two over from Stan's, which was weird considering we were all basically friends, but Craig got annoyed by Cartman and Stan easily, so the distance was fair.

"Hm?" Tolkein hummed, chuckling afterwards with his eyes glued down to his phone. I rolled my eyes as he lifted his hand, blowing an air kiss to seemingly nowhere. But I knew better. He was texting Nichole again, flirting with her even when they were across the room for eachother. It was almost embarrassing.

"Kyle, he wasn't here." Clyde tried again, pouting when he wasn't given a response this time. Craig was too busy trying to calm Tweek down about global warming, and how it was going to kill us and at this point, Tolkein wasn't even paying attention.

"Dude, y-you're more in l-l-love than me." I teased, laughing at the glare I got as Clyde's face burned red. The guys knew of our crush. It was easy to tell anyways. Clyde talked day and night about Kyle, and though I was usually annoyed whenever someone talked about someone they loved for so long, I couldn't ever find it in myself to shut him up. Because I completely agreed with him. With everything he said.

Kyle was just so cute and so amazing in every way possible. I couldn't even shoot down a conversation about Kyle. Why would I?

"Shut up, you've liked him longer asswipe." Clyde huffed, thudding his elbow on the table as he reached for a fry off his plate. Munching furiously, but only managing to look like an angry chipmunk.

"I fell f-f-first, you fell h-harder." I shot back, only earning an eyes roll, because he knew it was true.

"Did you have time to ask Stan yet?" He asked, quickly changing the subject. I chuckled at that, getting a look from him but didn't tease any further.

"No n-not yet. I was hoping to do it some- sometime during l-lunch." I explained, taking a sip from my water bottle. Clyde hummed, trailing his eyes after Stan as he got up to the vending machine, suddenly standing up and tugging me with him.

"Well then we should do it now. I don't wanna ask with Cartman or Kenny around." He said, helping me grab my crutches before we were standing up and heading over. I laughed again at his eagerness. But I completely agreed with him. It was probably better in the long run if we asked Stan alone. If we asked around Kenny, he'd make a remark about us wanting to fuck him, and Clyde would only break and reveal our secret. if we asked with Cartman around, he'd do anything and everything in his power to find out why we asked, and he'd most definitely find out.

But Stan was sorta slow, and gullible. He'd believe anything long as it doesn't involve himself, or getting someone he knew dragged into something bad.

"H-hey Stan, w-what up?" I asked, me and Clyde moving to stand behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, shooting us a quick smile before he moved his attention back to the machine.

"Hey guys uh, nothing much. Just getting some chips because the lunch today sucks. Plus, I think Kenny's enjoying it more than I am." He chuckled, gesturing back to his table as he slipped in a bill. Me and Clyde turned out heads to look at his table, Kenny happily stuffing his face with overcooked chicken nuggets and gooey mashed potatoes. The food wasn't bad here, but it did have funny textures.

I laughed at that, turning back to look at Clyde. But instead of laughing, he was just smiling nervously and blushing.

Yeah, he's not focused on anything but Kyle.

"Hey, Stan..." He started, and I mentally face palmed with how nervous he sounded. He had always been pretty shit at hiding his crushes. But Kyle was a friend of ours, so it was even harder than just an ordinary crush. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't been caught yet.

Especially with how much he stares at Kyle in class.

"Yeah Clyde?" Stan asked, cursing to himself when the bag of chips got stuck on the edge of the slot. I hissed in sympathy as he pulled out another dollar bill.

Those thing were definitely rigged.

"By chance, do you know where Kyle is? He wasn't here this morning so I'm assuming he didn't come to school." He said. The hesitation was clear in his voice, but at least he wasn't stuttering. Though honestly, it probably would've been better if he had a natural stutter like me, that way he could hide his nervousness a lot better.

My speech had gotten better after my parents let me take classes for it, but I did stumble every now and then. Something I'm still trying to work on, but it's always more difficult when I'm near Kyle.

"Oh yeah, he's in sick. He got the flu or something? I dunno, he's been burning up all morning." Stan said, sighing when the chips finally fell down and hit the bottom of the vending machine.

I hummed in understanding, nodding my head. It kinda did make sense for him to be sick. He had been looking extra tired lately. Most likely from overworking himself again. He tends to do that a lot.

"Shit, he okay?" Clyde asked, sounding very concerned. More concerned than a friend would normally be, but I couldn't entirely blame him. His mother died from a toilet for fucks sake, anything's possibly at this point.

"Yeah dude, he's cool. He may be small, but his immune system is strong. I'm surprised he even managed to get sick at all." Stan said, ripping his chips open and immediately eating a handful with a satisfied hum.

"W-well, at least that's g-good to h-hear." I smiled, shifting a hand to grab my wallet from my back pocket. That way it seemed we had an obvious reason for coming over here.

"Why?" Stan suddenly asked. I froze, blinking at him a few times as he stared at us blankly. Sometimes in moments like this, he reminded me of Craig. When Stan was curious, his face would drop all emotion, and he'd just stare and wait for answers. It was kinda unsettling.

"W-what?" I asked, confused on what he was asking about.

"Why did you guys want to know?" He asked specifically. There was no hint of anger nor suspicion in his voice, but he definitely looked like he was confused. Just from the tiny frown between his eyebrows. It was almost invisible.

I shared a quick glance with Clyde, who in turn was also looking at me to awnser. Fuck. We're both clueless. We should've really thought this through. I wouldn't be surprised if Stan pointed out Clyde's nervous sweating.

"O-oh! Just curious." He then said, shrugging nonchalantly. But his shoulders were stiff when he did so, and his flickering eyes didn't help him whatsoever. He always did have a tendency to avert his gaze whenever he lied.

Damnit Clyde.

"Curious?" Stan questioned, now tilting his head and fully frowning in confusion. At least he was showing emotion now, but how the hell do I get us out of this one?

"Oh, a-and because we have a p-proje- a project to do. I need his h-help to look over the sch-school paper I finished and make a-a few revisions." I quickly added on, shrugging the same way Clyde did, just more natural. Clyde gave me a small smile in gratitude, quickly looking back to Stan before he saw our exchanged glance.

Clyde did this often, where he would screw up with speaking whenever the topic changes to Kyle. It wasn't often, but if we were near someone who Kyle was going to tutor and they mentioned it, I would have to pinch Clyde or glare at him in order to stop him. Because if I didn't, he would go on and on about Kyle without realizing his mistake, and I would have to cover it up with lies. It wasn't the best system, but it had worked for a whole month so far.

I didn't notice it before I knew of Clyde's crush, but I think him and I sharing the same interest on it, made him open up more about Kyle. Which was more a bad thing than good, because he's gonna get us caught one day, I swear.

Stan seemed satisfied with the awnser, fixing his face back to it's usual subconscious friendly smile. He never used to smile like that. Especially with everything that happened in his life so far. What with his parents and Wendy and all. But after Kyle made helped him start taking his meds on time, Stan became much better in the sense of health and emotion.

Sometimes it makes me jealous of how much Kyle cares of him. How much he cares of everyone.

"Oh cool. Well I'm sure he'll let you stop by. He'd take any reason for his mom to stop hovering over him." He rolled his eyes jokingly, causing us both to laugh.

"Right, we'll do that. Thanks again dude." Clyde said, moving aside as Stan turned to leave.

"No problem." He said, smiling in return before heading back to his table. I waved him off, only dropping my smile once he fully turned away.

"Clyde, seriously." I said with a slight chuckle, not needing to emphasize on what I was talking about for him to understand. He groaned softly, ripping a few bucks from his back pocket and shoving them into the machine like it was the reason he almost exposed us.

"I knooow dude, I suck at this." He whined, smacking the buttons hazardously like he didn't care what he got.

"Jesus man, how have y-you even lasted this long?" I went on, only earning a middle finger in response. I laughed at that.

Clyde's pov -

I listened to the snow crunch underneath my shoes each time I took a step forward, trying to pay attention to that more than the way my heart was practically having a fucking disco party in my chest. My ribcage almost hurt.

"Are we really doing this?" I asked, lifting my head to look at Jimmy. He scoffed at my words, narrowing his eyes as we continued to walk.

"What, gonna chicken out? P-pussy." He grinned, flashing his teeth at me teasingly. I glared at him, lifting my hands to push him slightly. He cursed under his breath, catching himself on his crutches before he could fall.

"Asshole." He hissed, smacking the side of my ankle with his crutch. I yelped at that, staggering over and grabbing a nearby traffic sign in time to fix my balance. I shot him a glare back, wanting to wipe that smug look right off his face. But it would only delay our time, and we didn't have much of that.

"Whatever, I'm not a pussy. I'm just...this isn't a thing I'd usually do." I admitted, rolling my eyes in embarrassment as I stuffed my hands into my pockets. My ankle did ache a bit when I walked, so I was definitely gonna bruise, but I ignored it. For Kyle, I could deal with a little pain.

"Same here, but you don't see m-me forming my own b-b-bubble. If we're gonna go through all this t-trouble to see him more, then we're gonna have to ac-actually approach him." Jimmy stated, making a rather good point and I hate that he's always right about these things.

We've been watching Kyle for so long now, that it's actually embarrassing that we've never asked to hangout with him one on one. It's not like we stalk him or anything, but we do stare, we do listen, and we do pay attention.

By this point, I know what kind of music he listens to, what his favorite food is. I know that he likes to tie his hair up during basketball, how he sometimes likes to paint his nails. Sometimes red, sometimes green. And on Saturdays, he's always in a rush to drop Ike off at hockey practice even when he's more than capable of doing it himself.

Sometimes I felt weird for knowing all this stuff. It wasn't like I asked Kyle or anything, I simply just know from conversations over the years and watching the smallest things he does.

I thought I was just being a creep, but the guys assured me that it was normal to do those things whenever you had a crush. Craig had even told me that he studied the way that Tweek made coffee just so that he'd always be able to know it just right. But honestly, that just sounds more romantic than what I've been doing.

And Jimmy is right, we never approach Kyle about hanging out, just the three of us. Or even just him and I. Anytime we do interact for a long period of time, it's either because both of our friends groups are going out together, we're all at a party, were put in a group project, or if we find ourselves chatting. But the last one is never planned, and always short lived.

I'd like to think I'm close to Kyle. As close as he is with Tolkein I'd say. We weren't the bestest of friends but I'm pretty confident that were on the same level of 'good friends since elementary '.

But this was something new. Me and Jimmy had never just gone to Kyle's house without asking or texting him beforehand. We've never even been around him without someone with us like Stan or Kenny.

Kenny had gotten closer to Craig and I, as well as Stan. We smoked from time to time at Stan's farm or behind the school, so Kyle appearing was more often than it used to be. I shouldn't feel nervous to be going to Kyle's house. We were friends after all, and I'm pretty sure that Stan and even Cartman did it themselves. I even recall Kyle fussing about how Eric just let himself in nowadays.

Although they are on a whole different level of friendship. Maybe this was a bad idea? I'm not sure, but I-

"Clyde, stop walking." Jimmy said, ripping me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked, looking up at him with confusion. He sighed, shaking his head with a small smile.

"We're here, idiot." He pointed out, tilting his head to the side. I glanced over, feeling my heart beginning to beat even harder just from the sight of the tall house. Which, was actually only two stories tall, but for some reason it felt so much more scary.

I lowered my eyes to the driveway, seeing the car parked in front of the garage. His parents were home, so I sorta felt more relived. God knows how panicked I would be if it was only Kyle, Jimmy and I in the house. I would make a fool of myself.

"Right...right, okay. So we just...knock?" I asked, following close behind as Jimmy made his way over to the door, using his feet to kick over bigger clumps of snow in the walkway. He had gotten numerous surgeries since middle school, so his legs mostly worked, but he needed the help of his crutches every now and then. He's still going to the physical therapy for it, and in a few years he'd be able to walk more properly without the crutches.

"That's the plan, b-buddy. Got another one?" He snickered over his shoulder. I huffed at that, not saying a word. He knew how hard it was for me to so much as speak whenever Kyle was near or if he was on my mind. I was usually loud and obnoxious, but when it came to my stupid crush, I just turned to mush.

It was a thing the guys liked to take advantage of and make fun of, but thank God they weren't like Cartman and attempted to blackmail me with it.

I flinched as Jimmy knocked on the door three times, shooting me a smirk as I visibly stiffened. I swallowed nervously, snapping my eyes to the door and taking a small step behind Jimmy as I heard heavy footsteps approaching.

I almost flinched when the door opened and Kyle's dad stepped into the doorway. Looking down at him - because he was a tad bit shorter than me - , I felt like an eight year old all over again. Knocking on my friend's door to ask their parents if they could come out and play. With Craig's dad, I had nearly pissed my pants every time seeing how tall the fucker was.

And though Kyle's dad was of normal height, and I was taller than him by at least two or three inches now, Gerald still looked like the most intimidating father in the world.

It was close to the same feeling I had when I stepped at Bebe's door and asked if I could have her hand in marriage. I was only ten then, and I nearly passed out when he gave me a narrowed look.

But Gerald was a different story, because I wasn't dating Kyle, but I sure as hell wanted to be. I sure if I even spent two minutes with the guy, he'd know I had a thing for his son. He'd know my undying love for him and he'd beat the ever loving fuck out of me for it. And if he hated me enough, I know he wouldn't think twice about putting a fist-shaped hole through my gut, because Gerald was crazy.

Probably crazier than his own son, but I knew if I started to date Kyle, that Gerald would only be round one. Then there was Ike, as overprotective as he was of Kyle despite being four years younger, and then there was Sheila. And God forbid I even have to face her wrath, so I might as well get on their good sides before it's too late.

I know Jimmy was, because he was an outstanding student with good humour and a charming smile that parents loved. But I was a jock that went to parties and got drunk off my ass just for the fun of it. I might be social, but I was way too damn emotional and it sometimes scared people off.

Regardless, I had to play it safe. Be myself, and don't be too overwhelming.

"Oh hi boys! Kyle's friends, right?" Gerald asked, smiling brightly as he opened the door for us to come in. I gave him a small smile in thanks, me and Jimmy stepping into the warm house. It was always so cozy in the Broflovski residence.

"Of course! And h-how are you, Mr Broflovski?" Jimmy asked, always so innocent to parents. I almost wanted to scoff but he was doing this for the both of us, so I should just take the pass and go.

"Oh, just call me Gerald, but I'm fine thanks! You here to see Kyle?" He asked, looking rather hopeful. I nodded at that, humming in confirmation.

"Yes, actually. We heard he was sick, so we came over to check up on him if that's okay." I said, rocking back on my heels. I wasn't the best with first impressions but if there's anyone I know how to impress, it's parents. Jimmy may look charming, but I can be a pretty decent gentleman when it was necessary.

Jimmy shot me a small glance, and from the corner of my eyes I could see the end of his lips tug upwards into a small grin. He always thought it was so funny whenever I played coy. He said it made me look like one of those guys with 'the boy from next door' kinda vibe. Which, should be flattering, but it's just embarrassing.

"Oh thank God. I was hoping at least Stan or one of them would stop by because his mother has been up there all day coddling him like a child. I can tell that he hates it, so I'm glad you two came." Gerald sighed, rolling his eyes at the mention of Shelia being an overprotective mother, but he still had a loving smile on his face.

Okay, maybe he wasn't so bad. Intimidating, but nice.

"Well it's n-no problem sir." Jimmy said, straightening his posture as if he was proud of himself. I snorted at that.

"Sheila, there's some boys here to see Kyle, can you come down here?" Gerald said, giving us a quick smile before rolling his eyes again at the silence he got in return.

"She'll come down in just a second, do you boys want anything to drink?" He asked, already moving for the kitchen. I quickly put my hands up, shaking them to decline.

"Uh- no that's okay. We had a big lunch." I chuckled. And it wasn't a lie. Jimmy had literally watched me spend nearly fifteen bucks on the vending machine as I stress ate my worries away.

"Well alright then. But do ask if you need anything." He said in response. Just as he said that, Shelia came down the stairs holding multiple bottles of medicine and wearing a worn smile to greet us. It was a lot smaller than her usual greeting smile, but I guess you could expect that from someone who's worrying for her son.

"Afternoon boys, it's nice to see you." She said, handing the bottles to Gerald who immediately took them and headed back to the kitchen.

"You too, ma'am. Uh, we don't wanna b-be a bother but we were hoping to see K-kyle?" Jimmy asked politely, putting on a hopeful face to guilt trip her into letting us, even though we both knew she was nice enough to say yes.

"Oh, you're no bother at all. My little Bubbala's a little sick, so try to keep a safe distance, alright?" She smiled, using that same nickname that Kyle is always embarrassed about whenever his mom uses it around us, but we all know he loves it.

"Absolutely. We'll try not to take too long, we just wanna talk a bit." I said, balling my hands into fists in my pockets.

God, the anticipation was killing me.

"No worries you two, you kids can stay as long as you want. Just as you remember to wash your hands before leaving, I don't want you two getting sick." She shook her head, giving us small head pats before moving to join Gerald in the kitchen.

Okay, maybe she wasn't as bitchy as Cartman made her out to be. She'd probably make a really nice mother-in-law...

Shit. I'm already getting attached to his family.

Me and Jimmy headed up the stairs in silence, shooting knowing looks at eachother. He had been all high and mighty when we first started heading here, but now that we were in Kyle's house, I could tell that the nerves were catching up to him. He was usually the bold one. He had to be for the both of us, but this was something we've never done, and I was honestly a tad but scared.

I know that I'm just overreacting and that Kyle wouldn't think much of it. But he had always been really observant and caught onto thing that most people wouldn't.

When we finally reached his door, it all became so much more real to me. I mean, I've been in his room countless times over the years, spoke to him so uncaringly and effortlessly since I could remember, and gave him small friendly touches like I did with the rest of the gang. But those were the days that I hadn't realized my feelings, and now it's all coming back to me in a rush.

Jimmy poked my arm, gesturing to the door with his eyes. I nodded slowly, licking my lips and raising my hands to slightly fix my hair before I knocked softly. Jimmy rolled his eyes at the quick appearance fix, but quickly ran a hand through his hair himself.

Hypocrite.

"What do ya want now ma?" Kyle said from the other side of the door. I laughed at that, shaking my head at the slight Jersey twang that came out with the annoyance. He was so cute.

Third pov -

"Oh nothing Bubbeh, I just came to put this thermometer up your booty and check your temperature schnookums." Clyde said in a high pitched, atrocious attempt at Shelia's voice, peeking his head in to the room

Kyle frowned, snapping his head over to the door to see the two brunette's holding back laughter. He flushed at their teasing, pushing his lips into a pout.

"Oh, you guys are assholes." He said, but he couldn't help the wide grin that appeared on his face. They laughed at that, walking in and shutting the door behind them.

"She doesn't even call me shnookums. That's Cartman's nickname from his mom." Kyle huffed, pulling himself up to sit against the pillows. Jimmy let himself plop on his back right into the bed, dropping his crutches in the process as Clyde moved to occupy the chair in front of Kyle's computer. Sitting on it backwards to rest his arms on the head of it.

"Oh, s-so you deny that, but not th-the part about the thermometer up your a-ass?" Jimmy asked, turning his head to look up at Kyle. The redhead flushed even darker, but still held a positive smile.

"Fuck off Jimmy, she doesn't take my temperature that way." He scoffed, attempting to flick the other in the forehead, but he was much too weak to do any real damage.

"What are you two doing here anyways?" He asked. But there was no heat behind the words, he was just curious why the two so suddenly showed up. And without warning as well.

"Stan told us you were sick. We figured since he can't come to shoo your mom away because of his farm chores, then we'd do it. Plus, we came to drop off your homework." Clyde said, leaning over to dig in his backpack for the work sheets.

Kyle blinked at that, taking the papers that were handed to him.

"Oh, thanks you guys. Any projects?" He asked, shuffling to look through the assignments. Jimmy rolled his eyes at that, finding it funny how Kyle was already thinking about work.

"Naw, you're fine. Mr. Garrison is taking another vacation trip w-with his hus-husband, so we won't g-g-get any big assignments till next m-month." He explained, turning on his side and resting his cheek on the soft blankets.

Kyle's comforters were always so soft. The few times that Jimmy had been close enough to smell them, were years ago when they had their last sleepover with the guys. He certainly missed those days, but he relished now in the nostalgic smell that invaded his senses. It smelt like cinnamon and flowers...like Kyle.

"Nice...and about my mom- I mean, I love her and all, but she can be really overprotective of me and Ike all the time." Kyle giggled, knowing damn well that his mother had said something to them down there.

"I don't b-blame her. You s-s-seem to get in t- in to trouble a l-lot." Jimmy said, mentally cursing himself for letting his stutters start to slip out more.

Kyle made a noise of offense, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back into his pillows.

"That's not true...okay, possibly me. But not Ike." He said, quickly correcting himself. He couldn't just bypass all those life-risking years of his childhood and not say he hadn't done anything to get him into trouble.

"Dude, Ike and I literally ran away to be pirates and Cartman almost fed you to sharks. I would know, I was there." Clyde deadpanned, grinning at the way Kyle averted his gaze slowly.

"Touche." He mumbled, making them all laugh. And despite their calm, casual attitude around the redhead, they were internally freaking out.

It had been ages since they've been alone with Kyle, and seeing him out of school and out of his usual work-hard-play-hard demeanour, they couldn't help but to admire how chill this side of him was. So uncaring.

He wasn't dressed in his usual clean, outfit. He was dressed only in a baggy t-shirt from what they could see, and hoped to God he had pants on or they wouldn't be able to control themselves. Where his green ushanka hat was, was instead his mess of curly red locks. They weren't brushed out, they were knotted and tangled up, which for some odd reason made them seem more soft and fluffy. His face was already flushed, his nose being the most tinted as he sniffled every now and then. His lips were red and chapped, seeing as he had to breath through his mouth since it was easier than through his nostrils.

Everything about him was messy and so undone, so unlike his public self that's always subconscious around people at school and how he looked. Both in appearance and how his public image was.

And the fact that he didn't immediately shoo them out to make himself seem more presentable, made them realize that he trusted them. He trusted them to see this side of him, and he felt comfortable enough to not care.

And they loved it. It made them feel special.

But even looking so tired and sick in bed, he was still the most beautiful guy they've ever seen. Green eyes as bright as ever, lips ever so inviting, and a laugh that was so damn contagious that even someone as apathetic as Craig would smile back.

The trio chatted away like they had no worries in the world. Talking about whatever came to mind. It was nice for Kyle to chat with other people that weren't his usual friend group. Almost refreshing in a way.

Don't misunderstand, he loved the guys. He really did. But sometimes he just didn't want to deal with Cartman's unnecessary jokes or Kenny's unhealthy amount of flirting. And Stan was great, but Kyle didn't always want to cling to his side like a lost puppy. He knew Stan needed space every now and then, and he didn't really want to be a bother to anyone else.

So this was a nice change of familiarity. He was able to talk to the two brunette's about things that he wouldn't normally be able to talk about with the guys.

They talked about classes, what new upcoming movies they were most excited about and they even talked about D&D. It seemed like Clyde and Jimmy were big nerds, a thing that Kyle thought was adorable. The rest of the guys had fallen out of those things sometime when they entered middle school, so he was more than happy to agree when Clyde invited him to a night of board games with him sometime.

Just the three of them.

Halfway through their talks though, Kyle's sickness was starting to set back in. His mom had given his some cold medicine before they got here, but it had been an hour since then, and he could feel the symptoms coming back.

He didn't want to interrupt them and make his pain known, because he didn't want them to leave. He was sure they'd do just that if they sensed him feeling sicker, so he tried not to show it.

But only three minutes after his first stomach cramp, he felt a sharp pain in his gut and he couldn't help but to wince loudly in the middle of Jimmy's sentence.

"Geez, you sure you're okay? Have you talked to a doctor?" Clyde asked, politely waving his hand at Jimmy to stop talking for a second.

"My ma already did. He said it's just a cold and stomach pains, but it feels like I'm dying on the inside." Kyle tried to joke, but wincing when the nervous chuckle caught in his throat.

"Here b-buddy, lay back down." Jimmy said, sitting up abruptly to help Kyle lay down properly. The redhead flushed from the sudden closeness but let Jimmy adjust his pillows so he rested easier.

"Want us to do something? I get sick all the time, I'm sure we can make you feel better." He said, still leaning over Kyle as he said this. His words had been so confident that he didn't even realize he hadn't stuttered. Let alone realize how fucking close he was until he looked down at his friend.

Kyle was mostly frozen, eyes wide as he looked up. And it didn't help either that Jimmy had big arm muscles from years of pulling himself along and it was definitely giving him some sort of gay panic.

"I-i...um, wait- no, you don't have to do that. I can take care of myself." He stuttered out, trying his hardest to hide his disappointment when Jimmy pulled away, seating himself on the edge of the bed.

"No shit you can, but a little help won't hurt. Here, I'll be back. Just lay here and rest." Clyde then said, standing up from the chair and heading to the door without another word. Kyle didn't have time to say much, because once Clyde was gone, Jimmy was leaning back over and brushing his hair out of his face.

The taller teen pressed the palm of his hand to the other's cheek, Kyle mentally freaking out because his skin was most definitely clammy, and it would definitely feel gross on Jimmy's hand.

"Huh, you're kinda hot...I-i mean, your skin of course." He said, quickly correcting himself. Kyle snorted at that, lightly smacking Jimmy's hands away.

"Well, i-i guess i-in both ways too." He the said, earning him a full out laugh from the redhead. Jimmy smiled, glad that he was able to draw such a beautiful laugh from such a wonderful person.

"Shut up, you sound like Ken." Kyle giggled, scoffing at the shrug he got in response.

"Where d-do you think I learn it f-from?" Jimmy grinned. Kyle snorted at that. And not a short sound from the nose. But a full pig like sound that sent him into more because he was laughing at the way he sounded.

"I'm sor- you can't just- Jimmy!" Kyle giggled, hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment as he tried to calm himself down. The joke hadn't even been that funny, but it was the way he said it and with the face he made that triggered Kyle's hidden laugh.

And Jimmy was more than pleased with the adorable reaction. He'd never heard Kyle laugh like that, and he was falling in love with the redhead for what felt like the hundredth time again.

"Yo, I'm back. What'd I miss?" Clyde asked as he stepped back into the room, holding a tall glass of cold ice water.

"Kyle turned into a pig." Jimmy deadpanned.

"I did not!" Kyle retorted, burning red as the two laughed at him.

"Anyways, I asked your mom for a cup of water. Lift up your shirt." Clyde said, taking his seat back on the swivel chair, using his heels to roll himself to the side of Kyle's bed.

"W-what?" Kyle asked, tensing up as Clyde set the cup down on the nightstand and reached for Kyle's Tshirt himself.

"Don't worry, my mom used to do this all the time when I got stomach aches." He said, slowly moving his hands to the bottom of Kyle's shirt. That way, if he wanted to deny the action, he could. But he didn't seem to be bothered by it. A little confused and a little flustered, but not bothered. So Clyde grabbed the end, and slowly lifted it up to his chest. He didn't expose Kyle's nipples, because God forbid, but he did slip it high enough to the middle of his ribcage.

The two brunette's stared intensely at the new exposure of skin. Of course, they'd glanced at Kyle in the locker room for time to time, but they were always too scared to actually admire him. Now, they could see every freckle and scar on his pale stomach. A tiny happy trail of ginger peach fuzz that formed under his belly button, and a four inch faded scar near the left side of his stomach where he had gotten his kidney transplant years ago.

He was so God damn perfect in every aspect and every way. It was totally unfair how gorgeous he was to them.

"Sorry." Kyle said, ripping Clyde out of his thoughts once more. He swears, he keeps getting trapped in his own thoughts whenever it comes to Kyle.

"No it's alright. It doesn't make me emotional anymore, but thanks anyways." He said, shrugging at the look of sympathy he got. His friends always avoided topics of his mother, but nowadays he could care less. Don't get him wrong, he loved her. But she was kind of a bitch sometimes.

Kyle hissed again, groaning in frustration at the pain in his stomach. Clenching his hands slightly.

"Got any lotion?" Jimmy asked, glancing around the room as if he'd be able to spot some.

"Uh, top drawer." Kyle said, pointing over to the nightstand. Jimmy snorted at the obvious, not saying a word as he leaned behind Clyde to reach past him.

"Why do you have lotion in your drawer and not in the bathroom?" Clyde asked, taking a small drink from the water before setting it back down and grabbing a cube of ice out with his fingers.

"W-why do you think, Clyde? To jerk off, obviously." Jimmy said, causing Clyde to choke on his spit and nearly drop the cube from his hands.

"Hey- no!" Kyle exclaimed, looking at Jimmy in offense as the two burst out laughing.

"Stop laughing! I just get really dry hands when it gets cold!" He went on, feeling a hundred degrees as they were practically hunched over, gasping for breath.

"Mhm, whatever y-you say." Jimmy chuckled, uncapping the bottle and squeezing a small amount on his palm.

"I'm being serious guys! Look!" Kyle pouted, throwing his hands up to show his flushed hands. Fuck, it seemed evey single part of him was blushing in embarrassment. Jimmy rolled his eyes, taking a hold of one of the outstretched hands and cradling it with his own.

"Sure Kyle, sure." Clyde smiled, hearing a huff in response that was soon to cut off with a gasp when he grazed a corner of the cold ice onto Kyle's stomach.

"Wait, that- that tickles." Kyle laughed, his belly fluttering as Clyde drew small circles with the ice. The two boys laughed at his reaction, laughing along with him slightly as he enjoyed the cool feeling on his heated stomach.

Jimmy continued to massage small movements into Kyle's hands, distracting him from the pain and the abnormal temperature his body was suffering.

"Feel any better?" Jimmy asked, loving how small Kyle's hands were in both of his. Literally everything about the redhead was small. Something that was both charming and adorable in its own way.

"Mnn, yeah, actually." Kyle responded, fluttering his eyes closed as he hummed in satisfaction. Jimmy and Clyde shared a quick look, smiling in accomplishment. They were making their crush happy, and that was enough to make them feel like they won some sort of game. A game that they didn't need any trophies for, because seeing Kyle smile was enough of a reward for them.

The smaller teen enjoyed the unfamiliar sensations, humming or sighing softly every few seconds. He didn't mean to be vocal, but he could care less because it felt too good. With Jimmy's firm fingers pressing into the nerves of his hands and wrists, and the light swipes of melting ice swiping across his warm skin. It was euphoric.

But his noises were much too...hot. And before Clyde knew it, he was popping a stiffy. It was funny, considering Jimmy was the one that got awkward boners more often. A thing he'd suffered with since the third grade.

But Clyde didn't have time to worry about that. He had to worry about himself and what to do. He didn't halt his hand movements, knowing it would probably draw attention from the person who caused him the boner.

He made sure Kyle still had his eyes closed before tapping Jimmy on the knee, earning his attention. He blinked his eyes at his friend, trying to hint his situation. Jimmy didn't understand at first, raising a brow and tilting his head in confusion. Only when Clyde grit his teeth and flicked his eyes down to his crotch did the other teen realize, really trying his hardest not to fall into another fit of laughter.

"Hey Clyde, you sh-should probably go re-wet this." He said, grabbing the damp rag that rested on Kyle's pillow that he had noticed a few minutes ago.

"Y-yeah man, sure thing." Clyde choked up a bit, dropping the ice on Kyle's stomach and taking the rag. He shot a grateful look to the other, giving Kyle a small smile when he realized the redhead had slightly opened his eyes. He turned away before he stood up, doing so to hide the tent in his pants.

Clyde rushed to the bathroom down the hall instead of the one in Kyle's room, leaving the two alone once more.

Jimmy chuckled softly, shaking his head before he switched his attention back to the smaller male. He reached one of his hands to do Clyde's job. But instead of ice, he just used his fingertips to gently trace over drying water marks, the ice already having melted in a small puddle of water leaking off the side of Kyle's hip bone.

The redhead shivered at the light touches. A thing that Jimmy found very alluring to watch.

"He okay? He seemed a little tense." Kyle asked, his voice slightly thick from all the coughing he had been doing earlier before the guys showed up. He had even accidentally coughed and sneezed on them a few times, which ultimately embarrassed him.

"Heh, yeah. He just got a c-c-call from a little f-friend of his." Jimmy said knowingly, stopping the ministrations of his left hand to instead intertwine then with Kyle's, letting the other continue drawing small circles.

"Call? Huh, I didn't hear a ringer go off." Kyle mumbled, ignoring the way his heart fluttered when he looked at their hands weaved together.

"Yup, he got a call. A rather sudden one at that." Jimmy laughed, loving the clear confusion on the other's face.

"From Craig, I'm assuming?" Kyle pressed on, not wanting to seem too nosey but he was curious. The taller teen could only just barely hide his chuckles, shaking his head softly.

"N-no, someone much thicker." He said, his voice tight from how hard he was keeping in his laughter.

"Uh... Cartman?" Kyle tried again, and this time Jimmy couldn't help but break. Laughing freely in amusement from the whole situation. Clyde with a boner, and Kyle being completely clueless for once in his life.

"W-what?!" Kyle demanded, frustrated by the fact that he didn't know what was going on. He can usually read his friends like open books but Clyde and Jimmy were just so different from everyone else. It was much harder to pinpoint things about them.

"N-nothing, nothing." Jimmy snorted, waving it off and just downright admiring the way Kyle's face pushed itself into another pretty little pout. In that exact moment, Clyde came tumbling back into the room, his face looking a bit flushed as he held the damp rag.

"Sorry, I needed to piss too." He excused for taking a bit longer than needed. Jimmy chuckled softly at that, but didn't look up from his work at tracing Kyle's skin. It was hard to look away anyways. What with his star shaped freckles and his curvy frame. It was too mesmerizing. He wasn't sure when he'd get another chance like this, so he embraced it.

Clyde shut the door behind him yet again, not wanting to explain to any of the Broflovskis why two of his friends were hovering over Kyle and caressing him like a China doll.

He stepped back to the edge of the bed, sighing as he took his former seat. He reached over to the redhead, pushing a few of his bright locks away from his face. Clyde chuckled at the small noise of complaint he got at the action. Kyle never really liked when people touched his hair. Let alone saw it.

Clyde carefully placed the rag on his warm forehead, making sure it didn't drip into his eyes. Kyle let out a small sigh of relief, chills running down his neck at the coolness.

"Ugh, it's freezing." He mumbled, gripping his blankets tighter.

"Huh, the window's closed. Need me to ask your m-m-mom for more blankets or something?" Jimmy asked, glancing towards the sealed windows. Kyle lightly shook his head at that, closing his eyes that suddenly felt droopy. And the feeling of Jimmy's warm fingertips on his belly weren't helping.

"No it's okay. I don't think blankets will help anyways." He sighed, feeling a wet trail of water slid down his temple from the rag. A thing he hated most about being sick, was the constant half-hot, half-cold feeling. He seriously despised it.

"I...have an idea." Clyde suddenly said, humming in approval to himself as he stood back up. Kyle looked over to him in question, watching as he clumsily took off his shoes and tossed them on the floor.

What Kyle least expected, was for when Clyde walked back up to the bed and started to climb in, crawling over his body and plopping himself right behind him. Kyle couldn't find the words to use as Clyde wrapped his arms around him, Jimmy shrugging to himself and doing the same.

The redhead flush matched his hair, and though he was way too flustered to even curse the two out for being so bold, the comfort did feel nice. Nicer than what they were doing before, and he hadn't thought that was even possible.

"Y-you guys! You're gonna get sick!" He eventually managed to splutter out, refusing to smile when Jimmy's hand found his once more.

"It's f-fine. I get over it easily." The latter explained, smiling ear to ear as he snuggled his face into Kyle's chest. And he was sorta disappointed that they hadn't just taken Kyle's shirt off in the first place, because he would love to have skin to skin contact. But this was nice regardless, so he wasn't too unhappy.

"Same here. Plus, I kinda like being sick. I always get pampered." Clyde grinned, pulling Kyle closer to his chest without thought. He had been hesitant to come here in the first place, but now he was completely satisfied with the decision he had made to stay and not pussy out.

"Is that why you guys are being so nice to me? Because your parents do this to you?" Kyle asked, raising a brow as he slightly turned over to look at Clyde.

"Ew, if my dad ever cuddled me, I'd leave the toilet seat up for him." The brunette gagged, the other two laughing at the unexpected dark humor. They weren't entirely sure that the same death of his mother could happen to a male, but it was still a messed up, funny thought.

"Anyways, no. I just like cuddling, and you seemed like the perfect size for a body pillow." Clyde explained, nuzzling his face into Kyle's hair for emphasis.

Oh how he had always wanted to do that, and the softness didn't dare disappoint.

"...did you just indirectly call me short?" Kyle asked, causing Clyde to freeze in his movements. Kyle always hated his size. Going as far as to beating up someone for making fun of it. Cartman uncoincidentally being the only one to suffer that wrath, but it was clear enough to make a point to others.

Clyde fell into a nervous silence, and not being able to see Kyle's face just made him feel even more paranoid that he had fucked up.

"Uh...Jimmy, help me on this one." He tried, tightening his grip on Kyle again to make sure he wouldn't lash out and punch him in the face.

"Sorry, y-you're alone on this one pal." Jimmy snickered, hearing the genuine fear in his friend's voice. Clyde cursed, the other two laughing at him. But surprisingly, Kyle didn't seem mad - or even annoyed for that matter - so they weren't too worried about him kicking them out.

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate this all. I'll make sure to repay the favor when you get sick." Kyle said, rolling his eyes as he shifted his legs to get more comfortable. His bed wasn't small to him, but with two much taller and wider boys by his side, it definitely did feel like it went down in size.

"Who said we'll get sick?" Jimmy teased, simply enjoying the smell of his crush so up close. He felt like an absolute weirdo, but he just couldn't help but indulge in it.

"Jimmy, you guys are literally in my bed, cuddling with me, and I already coughed on you like, three times. I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna get sick." The redhead giggled, carding his free hand through Jimmy's hair. He smiled at the feeling.

"W-worth it." He admitted, snuggling impossibly closer.

"Agreed." Clyde said, doing the same as the other boy and pressing his body as close as he could get. Which wasn't very much because they were already back-to-chest.

Kyle just rolled his eyes for what felt like the tenth time, smiling never the less at the fluttery, warm feeling seeping into his chest. And not the bad kind like his sickness offered, but a pleasant kind. The kind that he felt multiple times in forth grade but stopped feeling after he realized relationships weren't his thing. He has stopped trying.

But this was nice. And he found that he wouldn't mind feeling it some more. He'd never felt it often with boys more so girls, so it was strange that he felt this way for Jimmy and Clyde. But in all honesty, it made sense. They were nice, sweet, and really caring when they wanted to be. It made sense for him to like them this way.

He snuggled back, feeling the edges of sleep pull him in. Usually he wouldn't dare let himself fall asleep near his friends unless it was Stan, but even then Kyle was hesitant. But he had a feeling he could trust these two. They'd showed him this much care so far, so he wasn't gonna second guess himself.

***

A few days passed and Kyle was able to go back to school. His sickness had only lasted two days, but it felt like forever to him before he was allowed to go outside again. It turns out, Clyde and Jimmy hadn't been there.

It was strange considering they had visited him and kept him company on the days he had been on bed-rest. Bringing him homework, giving him snacks they bought. It wasn't later from Tolkein that he found out, they had gotten sick.

It was funny, really. How they insisted they wouldn't get sick even though they had cuddled him for hours at a time and he had sneezed on them more time he can count. But, he had made a promise. So after school, he went straight to Shakey's to grab a few to-go milkshakes.

It would be difficult considering the two lived in different houses, but he'd find a way. They had done enough for him, now it was his turn.

He smiled at the thought, humming to himself happily as he walked down the street, shakes in hand. He could feel that weird tingle in his chest again just at the thought of them. A weird tingle that he knew of and what it was, but something that he never really listened to. But now, he really wanted to listen to it, because he felt like this time would be better than any little fling he tried in forth grade. A thing he messed up with Nichole, with Rebecca, with Leslie, with Bebe.

But he was sure he could give love a try again. Just this once, for Jimmy and Clyde, he could make an acception.

10, 282 words

__________________________________

I honestly don't know where I was going with this one, but I really like the ships, and the awkward tension, so here ya go.

😂

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay beautiful!

Until next time my loves!

💜🖤💜

- Jxcky

__________________________________

Featured or mentioned characters:

Main -

Kyle Broflovski

Jimmy Valmer

Clyde Donovan

Featured -

Stan Marsh

Craig Tucker

Tweek Tweak

Tolkein Black

Gerald Broflovski

Sheila Broflovski

Mentioned -

Kenneth Mckormick

Eric Cartman

Bebe Stevens

Wendy Testaburger

Ike Broflovski

Rebecca

Leslie

Nichole

[diagonal-queen]

hello it is i the question deliverer of ever!!!

here are a bunch of random stupid questions for you to answer. you don’t have to do all of them if you don’t want to, just the ones you find the silliest 💕💕

these are all just gonna be completely random questions i’m pulling out of my ass expect zero consistency

————————————————————————————

-what’s the best fanfic you’ve ever read/written?

-are you a spider girlie, a snake girlie, a beetle girlie, or a bee girlie? (this is how i classify people in my head so i have the answer already, but i want to know which one you think you are)

-what quote/lyrics/words from anything ever resonate with you the most?

-opinions on rat kings?

-what’s your favorite kind of leaf (and/or tree)?

-favorite type of cloud?

-who is the silliest person you know?

-what would someone have to offer you to get you to punch atsushi in the face?

-on the contrary, what would someone have to offer you NOT to punch fukuchi in the face?

-what are your most used emojis and why?

-of the authors represented in bsd, which one is your favorite? (keyword authors not characters, it’s very clear who your favorite character is lmao)

-orange juice or apple juice?

-what song is stuck in your head atm, and how much do you actually like it?

-if paint was edible, which color would you eat?

-if you could learn everything about any one thing in the universe instantly, what would you choose?

-what’s your favorite suit in a deck of cards?

-what’s your least favorite thing about your favorite thing?

————————————————————————————

ok that’s all i can think of rn. expect more later after my beain collects more ideas probably

have a BANGER of a day sir dialicious 💕💕💕

SEWER RATTTTTTTT BRO ALWAYS GOT MY BACK bro is so nice...bro <3 also im sorry for this long post to you and everyone else who sees it i know it's gonna be boring as fuck T-T

What’s the best fanfic you’ve ever read/written?

well i personally suck dick at writing and i haven't read any full fanfictions in ages...i really can't remember but if i find any

Are you a spider girlie, a snake girlie, a beetle girlie, or a bee girlie?

If i had to choose one of these i would say bee girlie because spiders are scary and snakes are scary and beetles aren't my style but bees r so fluffy and like flowers...jus like me... :D

What quote/lyrics/words from anything ever resonate with you the most?

They say the sun don’t shine forever But through any weather we’ll make it As long as we make it together - song lyric

"Someone will come for you. But first you must open your heart." - book quote

"The head may err, but never the blood." - book quote (and yes im serious lol)

"It's because of you that I don't even wanna be here anymore. Eventually I'm gonna end up jumping off a cliff because of you." - something i was told by someone

there's gotta be more but i can't remember them at the moment lmaooooo like literally any time someone asks me something i like i suddenly forget every single thing i've ever liked ever

Opinions on rat kings?

what like when rats all get their tails tied up? or just men with rat energy that i stan? well i love that second one but the first one is sad...they're stuck... :(

What’s your favorite kind of leaf (and/or tree)?

my favourite trees are cherry blossoms and jacarandas because they're GORGEOUS (honourable mention to frangipani trees) but when it comes to leaves specifically i don't really have a favourite lol

Favorite type of cloud?

cumulus because they're super cute ^^

Who is the silliest person you know?

hmm...deadass probably you man. you are hella silly and i love it

What would someone have to offer you to get you to punch atsushi in the face?

There is literally nothing you could give me to get me to punch my husband in the face

On the contrary, what would someone have to offer you NOT to punch fukuchi in the face?

the gift of flight and the complete abolition of systemic oppression in modern society

What are your most used emojis and why?

🌸 - looks pretty and i like it and i use it as the same as a happy face 💜 - purple is my colour 💓 - usually when im talking to jaya lol 😭 - when something SUUUUPER funny hehe haha 🔫 - when i threaten people to give me their arts and writings 🤧 - when ppl r nice to me...an i cry...happy.... ✨ - to add some PIZZAZZ ❤️ - i am a loving person i love a lot of ppl a lot 😌 - i use this to pretend im dom-coded

Of the authors represented in bsd, which one is your favorite? (keyword authors not characters, it’s very clear who your favorite character is lmao)

well i'm gonna be real with you, i actually am uncultured and haven't read many of the authors' works. i've read only a few, so i'd have to say of those that i've read, i liked doppo kunikida, mykola hohol and akiko yosano. i've yet to read dazai but i really really want to :(

as for individual works, i've read and enjoyed anne of green gables and the raven. i got through about a third of the great gatsby before abandoning it because i found it boring. i am still reading crime and punishment and i like it a lot.

also you don't know who my favourite character is silly goober because i have TWO in my head rn and you couldn't guess either of them i dare you to try

Orange juice or apple juice?

orange juice 🍊

What song is stuck in your head atm, and how much do you actually like it?

punky funky love by granrodeo. i love this song sm it's so catchy and fun and it just lifts my mood so much. if you asked me to name a bad granrodeo song i would glitch out because there literally isn't one

If paint was edible, which color would you eat?

hmm probably brown because it reminds me of chocolate or beige because it'd be like caramel

funfact; whenever i eat m&ms i have this ritual where i save all the brown ones for the end, i eat all the other ones except for one of each colour, then i eat all those in one go. and then i begin eating the brown ones one at a time until there are nine left (lucky number) and then i eat all those at once. its cus the brown is more chocolatey in my head literally just because it is brown

If you could learn everything about any one thing in the universe instantly, what would you choose?

cmon i cannot possibly decide this. hmm uhh fuck um. i might like to know the entire contents of the library of alexandria, the truth behind every cold case in the history of true crime, my entire family history, the truth behind ghosts and spirits and the paranormal, and those are just some of the things i'd consider.

What’s your favorite suit in a deck of cards?

probably diamonds. i really dont know why but they fuck. i also like spades cus spades look and sound super cool

What’s your least favorite thing about your favorite thing?

i seem to give it to the world a lot more than it gives it to me

[becauseimswagman1]

What Are We pt. 5

A/N:SHE'S BACKKKKKKKK~

A/N: the way this fic was inspired by a single photoshoot Michael did and I'm close to writing it in, but at the same time I'm not cause that means the fic will be over. But here's part 5.

_____________________________

The events of last night burned through your mind as you awoke in the bed next to the man you’ve wanted since what seems like the beginning of time, except that every man wasn’t there.

Thoughts of anxiety haunted your mind, but why wouldn’t they? He confessed to you last night, that should count for something right?

You sat up in bed and checked your phone on the nightstand. He’d have called or at least texted you if he was leaving right?

Tears started to form in your eyes, but you decided to stay positive. Maybe he’s out getting breakfast or on a morning jog right? He jogs in the morning, right? You never paid too much attention to his workout routine to know anything about it.

Before your thoughts could possibly get any worse, here comes Michael with a tray full of food, “Good morning sleepyhead. I made your favorite breakfast with the option of regular juice or a mimo-” Michael saw your face, sad with tears ready to fall at any moment, “Hey, what’s going on?”

He sat the tray down on your bedside table, sat next to you in the bed, and held you in his arms, “Did I do something?”

Holy fuck. You just assumed that he’d be an asshole and leave you in the morning like a few of your past hookups, of course, he’s different.

“I… I thought you left me. You know a good ole fuck and duck.” you couldn’t help but sniffle and try to hide it with a chuckle, trying hard to forget that you were about to cry over him possibly jetting off after a night of fun.

Michael only held you tighter, “Why would I do that? Did I not just confess my love to you last night? It doesn’t make sense that I’d do that.” he chuckles, “I was only downstairs making us breakfast. I made really big pancakes with chocolate chips in them. Just the way you like them.”

You wiped your eyes and moved out of his arms, “Okay okay let’s not focus on how I thought you were being an ass. Let’s focus on this wonderful breakfast you made,” you side-eye him a bit laughing, “and see if it’s even edible.”

He made a face, “Oh you got jokes now?? Weren’t you just about to cry cause you thought I left?” now it’s your turn to make a face, “Yeah got that ass.”

Michael picked up the tray and sat it in front of y’all, “Let me feed you.” And feed you he did. Pancakes aren’t something you can fuck up, but people really can’t cook sometimes. Luckily Michael can. He even made your coffee correctly, which says a lot about how closely he pays attention to you. You’re very particular about how you drink your coffee at home.

It’s really the little things that make you fall for him. Over the years the two of you have been friends, there has never been such a moment as this. This is the timeless and epic love you only see in movies that you had been, not necessarily, searching for.

After making sure you and he ate a good amount, he took the tray and you to the kitchen, “So I had to be here to watch you wash my dishes?”

You were confused about what was going on.

Michael held up the letter he told you not to read until he left the state, “I don’t want you to read this anymore.” you had a confused look on your face and before you could ask, he answered the unasked question, “I don’t want you to read it anymore because everything I wanted to say to you in this letter, I said to you last night…. Well… almost everything. Everything I wanna say to you couldn’t have been crammed into one night. This letter does sum it up, but you deserve to hear it verbally. You deserve to know that I mean it.”

You chuckled nervously, a little unsure how to feel about this, “You sure I can’t just read the letter? I feel like that would make things better.”

Michael held your hands in his, “I know you aren’t used to someone expressing themselves romantically to you like this, but get used to it.” he took in a breath, “I like you, a lot. I’ve liked you for a while now, but never had the chance to tell you, hence why I wrote the letter, but last night happened. Way to speed up the process unknowingly.” he winks at you, chuckling nervously. “And honestly, like is an understatement becauseI love you. I love you so much that it hurts to even think about you being with anyone that isn’t me. You mean the world to me and if I lost you, ever, I'd lose the biggest piece of myself. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And every time I think about the future, I see you in it, with me. It’s always us together in some shape or form.”

You had tears in your eyes at the confession. He loved you? In a romantic way?? You honestly thought this day never would’ve come. Are you that bad at picking up signals?

“Michael, I love you too. I never thought you reciprocated any type of feelings beyond friend. I don’t know what to say other than that I love you, too.”

He smiled, “Kiss me?”

And kiss him you did. This kiss was different than last night. This kiss was not alcohol clouded or lust-induced. This kiss means everything to you both. It’s the sparks flying, one leg lifting, touching your lips after it’s done kissing.

“Woah… that was… wow.”

“Feels good to kiss you and not be embarrassed about it,” you said then licking your lips.

Now that you two have established that you like each other, it’s time for another hard conversation… the “what are we?” conversation, but that could wait until you’re sure. But how sure could you get? You know what you want? But does he?

Michael sat next to you, “Yeah it does. So… I was wondering if you’d like to go on an official date sometime?”

“Duh! I mean yeah, yeah…um, it can’t be tonight, though, can it? I know you got a photoshoot and-”

He chuckles, “Speaking of that, can you edit those photos for me?”

“I’d love to. What type of photoshoot is it?”

“Kinda nude. Don’t worry I’m not gonna be completely naked.”

Giggling, “Well it’s not like I haven’t seen a considerable amount already so.”

“I meant the back!”

“Oh, I’ve seen that already.” you waved him off.

“Pfft, no you haven’t.”

“Yeah. I have. That night we went to the beach in the wintertime and I dared you to skinny dip. You weren’t so good at covering yourself up after helping me finish two bottles of Vodka.” You laughed at the memory. Y’all were so messed up that night.

He laughed right along with you, “Oh my God! That’s right! I had the worst hangover. It’s the reason I haven’t touched it since.”

“Mhmmm. So, what time is your photoshoot?”

“At six. It’s a good time to use the natural lighting.”

“Oh, we’ve got plenty of time.”

“To do what exactly?”

You stood up, “To clean my house up, specifically my bedroom.” You started walking towards your room.

Michael had a little smirk on his face and followed close behind, “Is this your way of telling me that you want some dick again?”

“I-”

He held his finger over your mouth, “Shh. I know it was some of, if not the best, dick you've ever had. You don’t have to tell me anything.”

With muffled speech, “No, my room is a mess.”

He removed his finger, “Oh. Well… let’s get to cleaning.”

AFTER CLEANING. FIVE FORTY-FIVE PM

So… you did get some fantastic head. The two of you took a shower together after cleaning and he wanted to give you something to think about while he was gone.

“Hey, I’m about to leave,” Michael said while grabbing his car keys.

You responded from the couch, “Okay, I’ll be here catching up on some work.”

He walked over to the couch and kissed your forehead, “Don’t work too hard.”

You smiled a bit, “Of course.”

He smiled, “Ite, then I’m out! See you in a few hours. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Be safe.”

As soon as he walked out the door and you heard his car crank, you got up and jumped around. Y’all will discuss relationship shit later… and schedule that date, but it doesn’t matter right now! Life is too good right now.

_________________________

Redoing my taglist so lmk if you wanna be added

[redsaurrce]

I had a request can you post a drabble for 🍒? Like boob play or nipple play BECAUSE I FUCKING NEED IT PLSSS😭😭😭

With jungkook?

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Mentions of food, Profanity, kissing, cupping and every sort of thing you want to do to your breasts, screaming a little. ⚠️

You were cutting veggies in the kitchen when jungkook came from behind and kept the groceries on the table he bought from the market. "What is my love cooking?" He said as he hugged you from behind. "Your favorite." You said while giggling.

He hummed, "My favorite? But I only get that in bed." You chuckled at his lewd joke, "Oh please you will get it when you get the laundry hung outside." You said playfully while swaying your spatula.

He huffed, "Let me stay for a moment like this, I'm tired." He went deeper in the crook of your neck while his hands came up to squeeze your chest. But just then his eyes went wide, "Wait! Are you not wearing bra, baby?"

You grinned knowing his reaction from behind without even looking at him, "Yeah, I was feeling stuffy in there." His lips took a form of a mischievous smile and he suggested, "How about I relieve you even more, princess?"

Oh that classic nickname! You knew well what was coming for you.

"But you seemed tired earlier?" You loved teasing him, didn't you?

He chuckled and snucked his hands beneath your apron and then your shirt, "I don't think so anymore."

You gasped, "But I'm cooking right now babe, do you want to set fire in our kitchen?" You asked him in concern. He replied, "okay then, safety first. Don't think my hands are there, just think them of as bra." He said while kissing your earlobe.

Oh how naughty!

So you continued cooking like earlier while he cupped his hands over your boobs for one whole minute until he started squeezing again. "Kookie let me cook peacefully." You said rolling your eyes.

"I won't! I can't!" He said while he started pinching your nipples and you moaned. His fingers started rubbing on your hardened buds while he placed wet kisses on your neck. Your mind was going hazy but you needed to get that cooking done asap.

"J-jungkook at least le-let me finish cooking." You said while you squinted your eyes.

"Fuck that!" He cursed under his breath and pulled out his hands. Just when you thought he listened to you- he proved you wrong! He actually switched off the stove and went to the refrigerator to bring some edible items. He kept it on the kitchen counter and before you could question his actions, he stomped towards you and attacked your lips with his.

His one hand was behind your neck pulling in for deeper kiss while his other hand worked in opening your apron.

Then he bent your back over the counter while he kept kissing you, his free hand reached to fetch the scissors kept at a distance.

He cut your shirt with the scissors in a single stroke letting the torn piece fall down over the fine marble floor. He detached his lips and panted for air. "I-im hungry Y/N!" He said while opened a pack of milk.

"Yeah I was cooking but--" Before you could complete your sentence, he poured -rather spread half of the milk on your breasts. "So let me ease my hunger baby." He said as he squeezed both of your boobs with both his his hands while he licked, sucked, chewed and repeated the steps again and again on your right nipple like a hungry cat enjoying its fish after days of starvation. Your toes curled up at the strong sensation of both pain and pleasure.

He kept licking it until there was no sign of milk anymore and then moved to the left nipple.

He bit and kissed multiple times and then he stretched your nipples up to clearly lick them off. Just like he pulled up your nipple with his front teeth, you pulled up his hair making him even more hungrier for you.

He, without removing his mouth from your breast, stretched his arm to grab the jar of mixed fruit jam, he spread a lot on your cherry which he didn't have his mouth on. Then he shifted his mouth on that while trying to grab the bottle of chilli sauce.

While he deliberately licked your jam covered breast, he spread the chili sauce on your other nipple. The burning sensation made you squirm a bit but he squeezed your Chilli breast hard, signaling you to stop moving.

After that he proceeded to lick the Chilli sauce off your other breast and when his tongue hurt from the hot and spicy flavor, he bit your nipple hard while his other hand almost crushed your other nipple earning him a scream from you.

He removed his mouth and again shifted to your jam breast. After he completely left your cheery spotless of any jam, he returned back on licking the spicy one.

He painfully took the pleasure in licking the spice off and his mouth filled with saliva because of the sheer chili flavor.

He came up to your mouth and started kissing you again, you felt the spice on your mouth too and your mouth filled with saliva too as a reflex action.

He then held your head from behind with both of his hands to deepen the kiss with his tongue going further inside.

With both of your saliva overflowing and getting mixed, he slowed the pace and started kissing you sloppily.

He whispered with his eyes closed, his hands now massaging your breasts, "can I go lower?"

You hummed, "Let's go inside first."

Went WiLD with this one 🥲!

[bokutokoutarou]

hello!!! Do you take requests? 👀 your writing is amazing and I ✨just✨ finished watching all of AOT. Your dating headcannon was FIIIRRREEEE, and I just think that a headcannon bout the crew shmoking shmeed together would be great

omg thank u!! and yes, i’m starting to take fic/hc/drabble suggestions for aot! as someone who has smoked before, i shall deliver! i’m gonna write this for the s4 paradis island crew, but imma exclude historia bc i personally can’t see her trying it

smoke sesh w/ the season 4 aot crew

fandom ↬ attack on titan // modern day au

includes ↬ aged up eren, armin, mikasa, jean, sasha, and connie

tw ↬ smoking🍃, cursing

connie is definitely the group’s plug. there’s no doubt about it. he’s lowkey highkey a weed snob bc he’s so adamant that the weed he gives the group is the best weed around. he's literally so foolish istg

he and sasha are the snack shoppers of the group, but they take so fucking long every single time bc sasha can never decide what she wants. EVER. she always fills the cart up to the BRIM with junk food, forcing connie to use up the small ounce of responsibility he has to tell her to put some stuff back bc they’re too broke for that shit

they literally have the group (literally just jean and eren) blowing their phones up with calls, voicemails, and texts telling them to “hurry the hell up😤😡!”

^^they literally send their messages exactly like that i hate them so much LMAO

connie always provides the group with joints, edibles, and a bong (once again because he’s “the best plug ever”). he literally refuses to host a smoke sesh without bringing all 3. he truly believes that he's some kind of "versatile king" because of it lmfao

jean uses his own bong for two reasons — partly because he’s used to it, but mostly because he likes to be an ass and announce to the group before every smoke sesh that he REFUSES to put his mouth on the same bong that eren does

he’s literally so fucking stupid i hate him ahsjshsjj

although eren enjoys taking hits from the group’s main bong, he prefers to smoke joints. after he inhales the smoke, he’ll immediately pass it over to mikasa and she’ll take a hit if she’s up to it

YES mikasa occasionally smokes, but she honestly never thought she would. when the group had their first smoke sesh, she tagged along “just to watch!!!”. and she did for the most part, until eren put his joint near her lips in an offering motion and asked her if she wanted to try it. she just couldn’t resist

she likes the way it helps her relax. she also revels in the fact that her lips are touching the same joint that eren’s has but she will NEVER admit it

also, if it isn’t obvious already, jean gets so fucking jealous that eren and mikasa share joints LMFAO. sometimes he’ll ask her if she wants to take a hit from his bong, but she’ll always politely refuse, to which he’ll play it cool and say “all good all good” when it is NOT in fact all good, and he is internally deteriorating ahsjhsjdhs

armin surprisingly has no issues or hesitations about smoking. during the group’s first smoke sesh, they invited him over thinking he’d just hang out and watch (like they thought mikasa would)

of course, everyone was SHOCKED when he said “thank u so much for bringing all this stuff, connie 😁😁 can’t wait to try it 🤲🏻 !!” lmfao everyone was literally like excuse me sir HUH???

he ended up taking a fat ass rip off the bong and was literally gagging and choking bc of all the smoke inhalation LMFAO. after that experience, he definitely prefers joints and edibles

the thing with armin is that although he’s fine with smoking, he gets hella paranoid while he’s high. like, they’ll all be smoking and he’ll look out the window and say “guys look at that man over there, i think he’s watching us👀!!” even though it’s literally pitch black outside and the man in question is legit just sitting on a bench playing on his phone LMAO

mikasa tries to calm him down but he’s so fucking insistent about it and will literally peep out the window like this🕵️🪟every five minutes to make sure no one is watching

jean, connie, and sasha literally have ZERO sympathy for him and will just break out into laughter every time they see him run to the window LMAO it’s honestly so tragic

sasha and connie usually end up getting the highest out of everyone in the group. although connie prefers taking hits from his bong, he’ll sometimes share a joint with sasha or have an edible as well. of course, sasha’s preferred method of getting high is feasting on connie’s edibles. connie literally has to stop her from eating them all and tell her to “leave some for the rest of us or you’re gonna make yourself sick!”, which HAS happened multiple times

nah it honestly happens ALL the time lmao

all in all, even though every time they get high together is lowkey a disaster, they always hit each other up every saturday night and do it all over again

[notstilinski]

Crush Starters !

Taken from the 2022 Hulu movie, Crush! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! Some light spoilers for the movie may be present!

“What a vague, bullshit prompt.”

“Sorry, my first instinct was to name other gay people we know.”

“I still share everything with him. Even a Spotify account.”

“Sad lesbian music is an integral part of my identity.”

“It’s too predictable to go for the most popular girl in school.”

“Well, little do they know, my raging anxiety would never let me deface school property.”

“Do you guys want to come over after school and take edibles and watch Shrek?”

“Ugh. Why would you sweat when you don’t have to?”

“Hell no. They tried to put a love spell on me at least six times. If I’m going to date a witch, they have to be a talented one.”

“Stop staring without consent, please. It’s horrifying.”

“(Name), I really like you. I do. Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t know you. I hate myself that I have to say that-“

“Like you call them daddy, and they call you their sweet little princess.”

“For (Name) there, just try to find the thing they suck at the least.”

“I regretted it the second it left my mouth.”

“No, my job as coach is to motivate through fear.”

“Today was great. I almost killed somebody with a javelin.”

“Okay. I’m going to need you to relax. You’re starting to scare me.”

“This is a sex-positive house, (Name). Shame does not live here.”

“Time to get you drunk. Like, if you don’t throw up by the end of the night, then I didn’t do my job.”

“Do I look whimsical enough for puns?”

“Disturbingly cute in a kind of kinky way?”

“Hmm. Okay. If this mentor-protege thing is going to work out, then you have to respect my caffeinated process.”

“I knew you were using a tough-love approach with me.”

“It’s okay, dude. I’m no stranger to dark dad humor.”

“But I don’t want to talk about my dad. I’m saving that for a future therapy session.”

“(Name), are you kidding me? We’re going to have a mother fucking stakeout.”

“Um, I don’t really have a type. It’s more of just a vibe.”

I care. I care. I was just trying to be nice and ask questions. So- Not that good at that, though.”

“Kinda weird that we co-parented but never kissed before, huh?”

“Wow. I guess the promiscuous gene skips a generation.”

“Did you know that squirrels remember every single person they’ve ever seen?”

“We’re playing Seven Minutes in the Hotel Bathroom. And it’s a tried tradition.”

“Oh, wow. Another random animal fact. So soon?”

“Damn. We are bad at the small talk thing.”

“The stupid vending machine won’t give me my food.”

“Why don’t you want to kiss me? Why does nobody want to kiss me?”

“This is the stuff that dreams are made of but, also, nightmares if you are not in the top three.”

“No. It’s fine. It’s just a kiss, right?”

“Every time I try to make new friends or do my own thing, people always think of you first.”

“But everything I do is always overshadowed by you, (Name). I needed something that was mine.”

“How am I supposed to help you if you don’t tell me anything?”

"Having feelings is evil."

“When you get flustered, I get flustered 'cause I think it’s the stupidest, cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You don’t get to choose who you fall for, believe me, I get it.”

“And, um, tell your mom I say… hi.”

“No, I feel like I’m playing Pictionary with an infant.”

“You look like a serial killer. Change your eyes.”

“Great. It’s a coup.”

“It really hasn’t been the easiest thing. I haven’t slept in twenty-four hours, but you get the idea.”

“That’s the face I’ve been looking for, looking like a bunch of wenches.”

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Hii! Could u maybe do a 12 & 13 from fluff prompts with Bucky?

Also congratulations on the milestone! 🤍

Just say yes

A/N: Beware of the fluff attack and Bucky being an absolute puppy dog!

Not my gif! Credits to the owner.

Prompts - Dancing in the kitchen & Proposal gone wrong. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Warnings: Fluff town, a curse word or two.

Word count: 1500ish

Requests & Challenges

Bucky Barnes Taglist - @marvelgirl7 @mycosmicparadise @feetoffthetablee

Everything Taglist – @godofplumsandthunder @ladyacrasia @agustdowney @swaggysposts @littlegasps @little-baby-vixen @another-stark-sub @supraveng @kahlanmars @disappointmentofthefam @pandaxnienke @tom-hlover @just-the-hiddles @fyreball66 @asmigurub @avantgardium-leviosa @imerdwarf @gladiosamicitias @fanofalltheficsx @ladyburberry

Tags are open! Send me an ask or DM if you wish to be included in any of these lists ;))

.

As the saying goes, ‘everything that can go wrong, will go wrong’ Bucky found it applicable to his current situation now more than ever.

He had been planning the perfect evening while you were away on a small mission with Sam and were expected to be home in less than an hour. He’d ordered your favourite pizza, kept that special bottle of wine you’d been saving on the table with two glasses, even texted every single person in the team to not disturb once you were home. 

Bucky wanted you all to himself tonight. That and the fact that he was planning to propose. 

You arrived fifteen minutes later looking tattered and exhausted. Bucky frowned, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel as he heard the front door slam shut, concerned when he didn’t hear your usually chirpy voice, he walked out to greet you. 

“Welcome home sweetheart, how was th—”

He stopped mid-sentence after getting a good look at your state, hair in disarray, minor cuts decorating your forehead and chin. It wasn’t the first but today was supposed to be an easy one. 

“Oh you look terrible.” 

“Thanks I feel terrible.” 

Bucky chuckled, pulling you into a hug before pressing a kiss on your temple, immediately feeling your body sink into his. 

“What went wrong? I thought the mission was fairly—” 

“Yeah except it wasn’t. I’m going to take a bath okay.” 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.” 

Sighing, you gently pushed him away to get to the bathroom, peeling off the unitard as you went,  exhaustion making you forget he was waiting for a kiss, but he understood.

“Alright, don’t be too long though. I made you dinner, and I can guarantee it’s edible this time.” 

“I’m sorry babe but I’m not really hungry. All I want is sleep.” 

You mumbled, your voice laden with sleep as you reached for the door, missing Bucky’s dejected face that he quickly recovered from, not wanting you to worry. 

“How about I get you a glass of wine and patch you up?” He offered.

“Yep.”

.

You practically crawled into bed after you bathed, falling asleep instantly. Bucky climbed in shortly after, racking his brain for yet another attempt of proposing as he draped his arm across your waist, gazing at your sleeping form for a while before kissing your forehead. 

. 

A lingering aroma of fresh bacon and eggs woke you up the next day. Peeking through a half open eye, you saw Bucky holding a tray of food in his hands and your favourite flower between his teeth.

“God bless you Bucky Barnes!” You exclaimed, sitting up against the headboard with the biggest smile on your face, making grabby hands at the food as your stomach growled. 

He placed the tray in your lap and tucked the flower behind your ear, whispering ‘good morning’ before leaning in for a kiss which you happily returned.

Bucky had already cleared your schedule for the day, made sure that no one bothered you today, he was determined to not let you out of the house before getting that ring on your finger. 

You took turns eating yourself and feeding your super caring boyfriend who had gone through all this trouble for you, not really saying much but rather enjoying the silence you shared. 

“Hey I got us a table at that Italian restaurant that you love for dinner.” Bucky announced matter-of-factly, hiding his nervous self under the facade of a casual dinner date. 

“I’ll have to check with Agent Hill if there’s some updates after last night’s blow-up but I’m sure th—” 

“Oh that won’t be necessary.” 

“It won’t?” You eyed the man who kept his gaze on the piece of fruit he was toying with in the plate.

“Y-yeah I cleared your schedule for the day.” 

“Really?”

“Yes. I want you all to myself.” Bucky’s soft smile warmed your heart as did his honesty, making you lean forward and place a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“So it’s a date Barnes.”

“It’s a date.”

.

Bucky went over his plan once more after deciding to drop the idea of proposing in a public place, he figured he would take you out for a nice meal first, get home, maybe open a nice bottle of wine with some cake and do it then. 

He still had some issues when people disturbed your peace while out at a public place or a social gathering. People would stare, ask for pictures with his vibranium arm or just generally give him the look making him utterly uncomfortable. He decided he couldn’t afford that tonight, everything had to be perfect. He even decided to take the efforts of making you a chocolate cake from scratch. 

Evening rolled by and the kitchen counter was a mess of broken eggshells, a thousand mixing bowls and spoons, the floor covered in sugar and cocoa powder while Bucky wiped the sweat off his forehead and finally got the batter in the oven. 

Looking around, he knew it would eventually have to be professionally cleaned or it would be sleeping on the couch for a week. Somehow he had to evade you from entering the kitchen until he popped the question. 

The super soldier double checked the ring box in his back pocket and set the timer, getting to make the ganache for the cake. 

“Bucky! Get in here right now!” You yelled from the bathroom, voice sounding downright pissed off. 

“Ah fuck what now.” 

Muttering under his breath, he ran, only to find your fully clothed self drenched as the water sprayed everywhere from the broken shower. 

“Oh God, are you alright?”

“Besides being fucking soaked and ruining my new dress & make-up? Oh just fabulous!” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest and stepping away to let him in the mini pool.

You stood next to him shivering while he tried his best to fix it, his vibranium arm doing the trick as he closed the tap, now completely soaked the same as you. 

A tiny box fallen on the wet floor caught your attention and you bent to pick it up, gasping when you opened it to find the most beautiful diamond ring sitting inside the cushioned box. 

It felt more and more real the longer you stared at it, unable to form words, glancing at the man you loved and who, by some miracle loved you back & enough to take this next big step. 

“Bucky…” 

“Hmm?” He wasn’t paying attention.

“What uh..when did you—please look at me.” You croaked, holding the tiny box up in your palm.

Bucky’s eyes turned wide before his hand automatically went for the back pocket of his jeans from where the ring must’ve fallen.

“Fucking hell.”

“What? I hope this isn’t for someone else.” You chuckled at your terrible attempts of a joke, tears already gathering in your eyes while Bucky scratched the back of his neck nervously. 

“Okay I’m gonna do this now. Wait fuck, let me get you a towel first, you’re shivering.”

He hurried to wrap you in a fluffy towel, walked you out and sat you on the bed before knelt down on both knees and cleared his throat.

“Here we go. None of the amazing things that have happened in my life in the past few years would’ve happened, if it weren’t for you. You have been one of the most integral parts of my journey towards healing and by no means is it over, but I know I can’t go ahead without you. You’ve loved me through my worst and by some miracle continue to do so even today.” He chuckled, tears gathering in his eyes while you were down right sobbing at this point.

“I mean it wasn’t supposed to happen like this, I had a whole thing planned and now the kitchen’s a big mess and we have a pool in the bathroom. But again when has anything worked perfectly for us right?”

You giggled through tears, nodding as your mind automatically played all those memories, first date, first kiss, the first ‘i love you’s, everything. It wasn’t the smoothest ride with Bucky but it was the best and you wouldn’t have it any other ways. 

“So Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you be interested in spending the rest of your life with a semi-stable hundred year old man?” 

Wiping your tears, you knelt in front of the man yourself as fresh tears appeared, cupped Bucky’s face in your hands and kissed him with all the love you had in you.

“What do you say?” He mumbled, never breaking the kiss as he stood up with you and walked you over to the bed.

“What do you want me to say? I already found the ring.” You giggled, flopping on the bed and peeling your clothes off, dinner reservations  long forgotten. 

“Just say yes.”

“Yes.” Saying it out loud made you believe it actually happened, as Bucky climbed between your parted legs.

“Say it again.”

“Yes!” 

.

Two hours later when you were finally ready to leave the bedroom, you found yourself in the kitchen in Bucky’s arms, swaying to some 40s ballads that he put on, the floor was a complete mess but neither of you cared. The cake he’d prepared was mostly burnt - thankfully he ran to turn the oven off right before giving you your second orgasm of the night. 

But you wouldn’t trade this moment, this day or this man for anything. 

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

[suchalonelysunflower]

Tell Me a Lie (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X Fem!Reader

Requested: Kinda yes!

Summary: Part 2 of Tell Me What You’re Thinking. The aftermath of the dreadful night that left two broken hearts along the way. Could they ever fic it?

Warnings: ANGST. Language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of cheating. Some grammar mistakes (I’m sorry, English is not my first language)

Word count: 5.8k

Author’s note: Holy! I never thought I would end up writing a part 2 of this, but I’m so glad so many of you requested it and supported it 🥺❤️ thank you so so so much. As you know: Reblogs, Coments, Feedbacks and likes are more than welcomed and encouraged! I’d love to hear from you guys and I can’t wait to see how you react to this and the question: if you were on the readers shoes, would you forgive him? Thank you so much, hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

Part 1

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Calum stopped laughing at Mitchy a long time ago, but he didn’t seem to notice. Frankly, he was regretting his decision on inviting the singer today, knowing that he was completely high even before he got to the house.

He secretly envided Ashton who got away a few moments earlier, he couldn’t blame him at all as he wondered what he was doing in his kitchen and if he should go to make him company and leave Mitchy alone in his own world, not that he would notice either way.

But just before he decided to get up and leave, just like he could read his thoughts, Ashton walked into the living room. A feeling of relief washed over Calum as he saw his best friend approach, hoping that he could spare him some actual good conversations, but the drummer seemed too busy as he grabbed his phone from the coffee table and stepped outside to make a call, entering the house a few moments later to grab his jacket and his keys.

“Where are you going Ash?” Calum asked, almost begging him to stay and not leave him alone with Mitchy.

But Ashton didn’t spare a glance at him as he muttered through gritted teeth “I’m leaving”

Calum was confused by his friend's attitude, not knowing what caused his strange behavior. But before he could ask him, Mitchy beat him to it “Aw man! We are just going to the club to meet some hot chicks! You should come with us!”

And that was the last straw Ashton needed to unleash the rage behind his eyes, the same rage he was holding all night as he watched you cry in the kitchen a few minutes ago.

Calum watched as Ashton’s face completely disfigured itself as he started yelling.

“You are both such assholes!” He said, looking between Mitchy and Calum, making the latter one jump in his seat at the sudden outburst “Do you even realize what you did? You just made the most amazing person on this planet feel like shit cause you can’t keep your comments to yourselves!” He looked at Mitchy “You don’t know a single fucking shit about her to talk about her like that. If you knew her you’d know that Y/N is amazing the way she is and you should be ashamed of yourself for disrespecting such an incredible woman like that!” Then he looked at Calum, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost “And you… I’m so disappointed in you. I can’t even look at you right now. You were really going to cheat on her? Are you really that stupid to lose her like that?! To lose her at all?! Do you know how incredibly lucky and incredibly stupid you are?! I am disgusted with both of you. And Y/N doesn’t deserve to cry for such man babies who’d talk about her behind her back”

At the sound of your name, Calum’s world fell at his feet. Did you know what Mitchy and him talked about? That wasn’t what he meant!

“Y-Y/N-“ He said, gripping the edge of his seat. Ashton just looked at him with pity “She heard it all”

That was almost three months ago. Three months since he watched the love of his life walk away from him and leave him alone. Three months since Ashton had said a full sentence to him that wasn’t filled with utter disappointment. Three months since he cut ties with Mitchy, claiming that he never wanted to see the singer again and that he should not try to contact him or any of the boys again. Three months where every night he comes to an empty house, hoping that it was all a bad dream and that he’ll find you in the kitchen studying for your next test or waiting for him with a glass of wine just to talk and share a moment with him. But now you won’t even spare him a glance.

He knew he couldn’t blame you. That is the last thing on his mind when he thinks about that night and all that led to it. More often than not he would find himself turning and tossing on his bed, unable to sleep. The memory of your tear filled eyes and the echoing sound of your voice take over him as he relives that moment over and over again, still unable to find anything in him to make you stay.

If he could change the past, out of all the wrongs he’d done, he will make it right for you. He would tell Mitchy to go fuck himself, kick him out for disrespecting you that way. He would have gone to find you in his room, make you pack your stuff and take you away to that mini holiday you never got live. He would cover you in kisses and beg you not to leave him because he will miss you too much. He would tell you that he loves you more than anything in his life and that he is sorry he couldn’t love you more.

But time cannot be reversed and some hurts might never be healed.

And Calum misses you, Duke misses you. But he knows you are not coming back anytime soon, Ashton made sure to tell him that in one of the last conversations he had with him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” The drummer said a few days later when he got sick of Calum constantly questioning him about you “And not only because she made me swear not to tell you anything. But because if I start talking about her and how you broke her, I cannot promise you it will end well for you. All I can tell you is that she is safe.”

At least he knew you were with Ashton, you always confided in him as your best friend. But that also meant that Ashton had to take sides and he made it very clear from that night that he was on yours. Luke and Michael stood neutral to the fight, knowing it would only hurt the band even more, but they told Calum that this time he was on his own if he ever tried to take you back.

And, then again, Calum cannot blame them. He knew that if they were in his shoes he’d do the same thing. What he did was horrible, the coward’s way to face things. And there was nothing he regretted more.

He tried to occupy his time with whatever came to mind, he could not stand being alone with his thoughts cause the only thing he did was think of you. So today he decided to go on a run.

It was a horrible thing that it didn’t work, cause after minutes or hours of running through the streets without a clear path, he ended up in front of Ashton’s place.

He knew he shouldn’t do it, that the right thing to do was to give you space. But when he saw the lightest shadow of your figure grace the window, he knew he had to see you, even just one more time. So he knocked on the door and prayed to every god he’d ever known that you would answer.

But nothing could prepare him for when you did.

You don’t remember much about the rest of that night. The night where you jumped in Ashton’s car and fled the house you used to know as home.

You remember Ashton having to carry you to his guest room, or at least you assumed he did it cause you don’t remember walking up the stairs. You remember crying, hanging onto his shirt and asking the universe why? Why didn’t he do anything? Why didn’t he fight for you? Why did you have to love him still?

You begged for Ashton to stay with you, the thought of being alone that night terrified you. But he replied that he was planning on doing it anyway “I’m not leaving you, Y/N” He said, and those were the most comforting words you heard all day until you fell asleep from crying too much.

The next morning you woke up alone and you didn’t know where you were. The sheets were not yours, the wallpaper and the pictures were unknown to you and the smell was unfamiliar. Unconsciously you reached your hand to the other side, finding it empty but still kind of warm and you wondered if Calum had taken Duke out for a walk like he used to do every Saturday morning that he was home.

Only when Ashton came into the room carrying a tray with a warm breakfast on it did you remember the incidents of the night before. Your eyes filled with tears again as you watch him lay the tray in front of you.

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” He said, his voice was comforting at best, but you couldn’t help but hear the pity that came with it “But you need to eat. I know you haven’t been eating anything since at least yesterday's noon”

You looked at the food and shook your head “C’mon babe, for me?” He asked, softly rubbing your shoulder “I know I’m not the best cook but at least I know this is edible” He joked, making you chuckle through the tears that were already spilling from your eyes.

“I don’t know what to do” You honestly tell him.

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” You replied quickly “I don’t want to see him and I don’t want him to see me” Ashton looked at you and it almost seemed like he wanted to say something, but eventually just nodded at your wish “I just- I need to get my other stuff out of the house and-”

“I can let you know when he’s out. That way you won’t have to face him if you don’t want to”

“Thank you, Ash.” You smiled at him gratefully, placing your hand on top of his “I’m going to start looking for a new place soon and-”

“None of that” Ashton said shaking his head “You can stay here! I don’t have a roommate and, I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone” You opened your mouth to say something, but he continued “I promise I will talk to Calum that he is not welcomed here without my, and now your, permission. I won’t let him hurt you again”

That was three months ago and you can honestly say that you are doing just fine by now.

Yes, the first few weeks you spent them in your bed, crying and heartbroken at the thought of losing the love of your life. Calum was everything to you and it seemed like in the blink of an eye that “everything” crumbled right in front of you as you realized just how little you meant to him.

Many nights you tried to fool yourself into thinking that it was all a big misunderstandment. That you somehow misheard every word and it was just your brain creating scenarios that would never become a reality. However, the faintest echo of Calum’s laughter at Mitchy’s comments, his agreeability to go on with his plan, the things he said and the things he didn’t say… they were all still tattooed inside your head.

“A good fuck” That’s what he said. That was the only positive thing he had to say while his friend mocked you and humiliated you like it was nothing. Like if he hadn’t thought those things before.

You decided you wanted nothing to do with him. You blocked his number and deleted his number. You also begged Ashton not to cause anymore scenes between the two of them, knowing how badly it could affect the band if they let their feelings come between them.

A month went by, then two and now three, and not a day goes by that you don’t think of Calum and how he’s doing, if he has a new girl or if he ever got to meet that Vanessa girl. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but you spent so many years loving him that it was impossible to fall out of love for him, even after he hurt you so badly.

Ashton helped a lot. He always tried to cheer you up, even inspiring you to try yoga and meditation to help you clear your thoughts and bring new energy into your life. And, even if you hate to admit it, it worked! In these three months you found out things about yourself that you never thought of before. You realized that all your dreams were for you and Calum, yet none of those dreams were only for you.

Your career, your job… those were your dreams. But soon enough those dreams became shared once you met Calum, pushing them aside from time to time to accompany him on tour, or to help him write a song or two when he got stuck, or even just because he asked you to. You were more than happy to do so, but you did that for him, for the both of you, not for you.

With that in mind, you began to search for yourself, for your needs and wants. You aren’t quite there yet, but it helps you keep your mind busy from the heartache. And, slowly and steady, you began to feel more like yourself again.

Just like right now, you asked Ashton to grab some things from the store once he’s back from the studio, telling him you were going to try to cook some pastries that your mom used to make when you were little. He said he’d be home soon and that’s why you weren’t surprised to hear the knock on your door, knowing that he usually forgets his keys in every set of skinny jeans he owns.

You laughed at yourself, thinking of teasing him about having a set of keys for every pair of jeans he owned. Only this time it wasn’t Ashton who was standing at the other side of the door.

Calum swore his heart could not break anymore until he saw how your smile disappeared from your face when you realized it was him. You were looking good, better than him at least. Your hair was a little bit longer and you still wore socks inside the house. But your eyes… your eyes were different. They didn’t shine anymore with that gleam that got him completely hooked to your gaze, the gleam that was reserved just for him. Now, he could only see himself reflected in those y/e/c eyes and he could see the disappointment behind them.

The first thing that comes into your mind was his beard, he never used to have a beard before, he always kept his face clean and neat but now his scruff was decorating his jawline and you were not sure you liked it. His clothes were a mess too, you realized he came running as you took in the beads of sweat that covered his forehead, but his clothes seemed old and they were not matching. He never really cared about the clothes he’d wear when he was in a rush.

You took your time to meet his eyes, knowing that once you stared at those brown orbs you might just break down. But once you did, it was like you were able to stand taller, to stand up to him as the only feeling you had running through your head was doubt.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. Not a hello, not a welcome, not even his name. Calum knew he deserved none of that.

He flinched at the sound of your voice. The voice that once was sweet as honey, was now cold and hard like steel, just like it sounded before you left.

“Y/N I-” He said, pleading with a string of his voice, trying his hardest not to cry in front of you. Suddenly now he realized just how hard it was to see you again “Can we talk?”

You hesitated and Calum noticed that. He saw how you gripped the doorknob, and he hoped that you let him in despite knowing that he deserves to have that door close on his face.

“Please?”

You knew you couldn't resist him, not only that but something inside you begged for you to let him in, to hear him out. However, you could not help but feel a little bit scared. You weren’t ready to see him, but you have to.

With a sigh, you opened the door. You watched how his shoulders relaxed as he let go of his breath. He was as scared as you were.

Calum walked inside the living room. He hasn’t been here in months, but he can recognize your touch. You were everywhere in this room and he assumed that would be the case for all of the house as well. He recognized a few decorations that once adorned your shared home, you took them all with you when you left. Leaving him with not a single trace of you to hold on to.

You closed the door and followed after him. You found Calum standing in the middle of the room, checking the pictures you brought from his house, you knew he was trying to, even hoping to find himself in one of them, but all of those pictures were tucked away now, leaving all those memories behind.

Calum turned to you once you entered the room. He looked defeated, broken even, and your heart could not stand it. Even after all he put you through, you still care for him and you are sure you will always care for him, even when you don’t want to.

“I cannot start this conversation without saying how sorry I am” He said, hands in his pockets and eyes locked in yours. You could already feel the tears start to come but you held them back.

“Calum-” Calum, not Cal or babe or love. Just Calum.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in how the sound of his name now held no comfort for him “I need to say it, Y/N. Please” You nodded and he continued “I am an idiot. A stupid son of a bitch who lost everything before he ever realized what he’d done and I’m sorry, Y/N. I am so terribly sorry and I hope one day you could believe that” You wanted to say that you did, but he beat you to it “And I know that a simple sorry doesn’t fix things… fuck I don’t even know how to begin. I thought I was ready to see you and tell you just how fucked up I am without you but-” He started to choke up, his feelings were overwhelming even for you “When I look at you all I want to do is hold you close and it kills me that I can’t do that”

“I have no excuse, Y/N. No excuse that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole for treating you the way I did. Cause that’s exactly what I am, I am an asshole who lost the best thing that has ever happened to him just because he was too much of a coward to say anything.

But you have to know - you must know that I don’t think of you that way. I never did nor I ever will. Bab-Y/N, you have no idea what you mean to me and I know I’m shit at showing it to you but I swear, I swear none of what he said that night it’s true. What he said… I was so angry at him, I still am, if I’m being honest and that’s why I ended the friendship right there. I tried to convince myself that he was just high out of his head, that he says shitty things when he’s out of his mind and the only way to make him shut up was by following along to what he was saying. And I know it sounds stupid, fuck.. I don’t even know why I did it! At that moment I was just thinking that I didn’t want the night to end in an endless fight with him cause there was no way of shutting him up and now I wish I would’ve just kicked him out the minute your name came out of his mouth. I hate him and I hate myself for the pain I caused you. I know that it would be useless to say that if I knew you were there I would’ve ended it right there. But I know that even doing it behind your back was an act of disrespect and I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, any of the pain or the tears… I’m still haunted by the memory of you leaving.

What I said that night was true. I had never and would never cheat on you, that’s not who I am and you know it. I wasn’t even going to go to that stupid club and meet the girl he wanted to introduce me. You gotta believe me on that one, I would’ve never forgiven myself if I did it. I can’t even forgive the thought of it or even the simple thought of faking to consider it for Mitchy to shut up… I would have never-”

“I believe you” You say.

Somewhere along his speech your eyes stopped trying to keep the tears at bay and just let them roll down your cheeks and into your shirt. You watched as he paced the room, trying his best to come up with the right words to apologize to you, to make you believe him when in reality you believed in him since the moment he walked through the door. You knew Calum and you know that his heart is always true. But his words did not make anything better.

“I believe you, Calum. I do. I just-” You snuffle “You said you just didn’t want to start a fight… Am I not worth fighting for?”

Calum almost ran to you when he noticed the tears. He always hated to see you cry, but now more than anything knowing that he’s the reason for your sadness.

“Baby, I’d start a war for you.” He said, cupping your face with his hands and delicately wiping your tears with his thumb “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, but I’d do anything for you, my love. Anything.”

“Then why didn’t you?” You cried, pushing yourself away from him.

Calum’s heart broke once again when you pushed him away. He wanted nothing more than to console you but he knew he didn’t have the right to do so.

“Because I failed to realize that there was a possibility of you not being with me anymore” He said, confidently “When I think of you, I think of forever. I never thought that it will ever come to an end, that you could leave me at any point or that the love will just fade away… I thought about a family together, a life where it will always be you and me. I got too confident that I ended up losing you. I failed you, Y/N. I know I did, and I can’t forgive myself for that”

His eyes were honest as they stared at you. You could feel the burn in your throat as you tried to speak “I thought of a forever with you as well” You said softly.

Calum took a step closer. It was the first time he’d ever let his heart hope for some kind of saving grace, for some kind of forgiveness and a start over ��Then, say we can try again. Say that we can get through this and we can fix it, because I want nothing more than to fix this and go back to what we once had, or to start over if you want! I just need you in my life, Y/N. Tell me we’ll be alright”

He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. He didn’t take the chance to defend her before, but he was sure he was not going to let her go again if there was still a chance of a future together.

“I don’t know if we can”

Every ounce of hope fled through Calum’s hands as he processed what you said. He could feel the earth under his feet start to shake as his world came crumbling down once again.

“Calum, I knew you never cheated on me and I appreciate your honesty.” You said as you wiped out your tears with the back of your hand “But the simple thought of you considering it broke every trust I had in you, even if you weren’t being serious about it, I can’t stop picturing you with some random girl while I waited for you at home every night. And not only that but the words you said that night still haunt me. Mitchy’s comments weren’t as insulting as the fact that you didn’t contradict him in any way. I felt humiliated, Calum. Humiliated by someone I loved in front of someone who you knew didn’t like me and would take any chance he’d get to demonstrate that.

It took me weeks to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still believed that that was the perception you had of me all this time. How can I come back from that?”

Calum’s eyes were pleading, his expression remaining unmoving from the pain that he caused himself by hurting you. But he was determined to make it right.

“We can!” Calum said, desperately trying to reach for your touch as he grabbed your hand and started kissing it “Baby, no. No, no no no please don’t say that. I love you with all my heart and it kills me to know that I’ve wronged you. I’ll make it up for it, everyday for the rest of my life but, please, at least say we can try. I- I know I don’t deserve it, but please. I can’t live without you”

You pulled your hand away from him, slowly as you watched the tears pour down out of his eyes “I thought I couldn’t live without you either. And yet, I am. I’m learning to live my life for myself rather than living it for the both of us-”

“I never asked you to do it”

“You didn’t have to. I wanted to. I wanted your dreams to be mine and to be by your side cause I thought that’s the only thing I wanted in life, but I don’t know anymore, Calum. All my dreams were shared with you that I don’t even know if I have some of my own!” You watched Calum’s face slowly lose all kinds of hope he had left and you know you should’ve felt at least a little bit guilty, but that’s not the case. On the contrary, it felt like you deserve this time for yourself “But now I need to find myself, find what I want and what’s good for me and I need to do that alone.

I can’t force my feelings, and I cannot force myself to trust you again when I can’t. Calum, you have to understand that you are a whole new person for me now. I used to believe that you would never hurt me and then, you did”

Calum’s knees fell to the floor as he reached for you once again, holding onto your legs as he desperately tried to make you stay. Stay in any form or way, stay in love with him, stay with him, stay… anything for you not to disappear from his life once again.

“Please, don’t.” He pleaded at your feet “I won’t forgive myself for this. I’m so sorry, my love. My Y/N. Please, don’t. I can’t love anyone but you”

You gripped his shoulders, trying to stay balanced as the curly haired man cried, making you shred a new set of tears again “Oh, but you will.” You reassured him, hoping your tone was convincing enough “Your heart is big enough to love again, to love better. Of course you will”

“But I don’t want to” He separated from you, long enough for you to crouch down in front of him so you could wipe some tears from his face “D-do you want to?” He asked softly.

You saw yourself reflected on his red, puffy eyes. He was never a man that could share his emotions so openly and, even though you’ve seen him cry before, the sight in front of you completely shattered your heart, knowing that his was utterly broken as well. But you can’t lie about your feelings, even if they hurt.

“I don’t know what I want.” You whispered to him.

Suddenly, you hear the front door opened as Ashton’s loud and cheering voice came floating towards your ears. Your eyes widen at the thought of his possible reaction, he’d hate to see Calum here, knowing that he specifically asked him to leave you alone until you were ready to see him, but he’d hate more the fact that you are crying.

“Y/N! I couldn't find that weird ingredient you asked, so I had to ask a lady there that seemed like she could cook and she said that this will work better on your-”

His eyes fall to the floor where you are kneeling down beside Calum. His eyes flickered between you and him, showing all kinds of emotions as he took in the scenario in front of him. He noticed that you were crying and he was about to ask what the hell was going on, but you beat him to it.

You got up and wiped some tears from your face as you walked up to Ashton, grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen. He reluctantly followed, leaving Calum alone in the living room.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Ashton asks in a hushed tone as he sets the groceries on the kitchen counter “What is he doing here?”

You sighed “I don’t know. Everything is fine Ash, don’t worry. He came to apologize and-”

“Did he say anything to make you cry?” He asked with concern. His hands were cupping your face as he wiped some tears from your puffy eyes, yet his hazel eyes never left your gaze for a second.

“We are both crying, Ashton. It’s fine”

You notice he is not convinced at all, but he won’t fight you on this. You’ve come so far that he is confident that you can defend and stand up for yourself again. He’s seen you broken so many times in the past few months, but he’s also seen you pick yourself up piece by piece like a phoenix.

“Are you okay?” Was the only thing he said. You can’t blame him for being protective of you, and you appreciated that. After all this time he is the only comfort you know won’t leave you behind.

“I will be, don’t worry” You said with a smile. He smiled back at you.

“I will always worry, love. Want me to leave you alone with him? I don’t want to but I feel like I won’t have a choice either way” You nod, “I’ll be down the hall if you need me to kick him out. I love you” He said, placing a kiss to your forehead and giving you a hug.

“I love you, too” You respond as he walks away.

You take a minute to compose yourself before going back to the living room where Calum is waiting.

Calum, on his part, was already on his feet. The tears were drying themselves on his cheeks as he watched you enter the room again.

“Sorry about that,” You said “He gets-”

“Protective, I know” Calum completes the phrase “He loves you, so I get it”

There is an awkward silence between the two of you, almost like if a wall was standing in the middle of the room, separating both of you in different paths. There were so many things left unsaid, like the way Calum felt guilty after seeing you with Ashton and realizing what he should’ve done months ago, or the way you noticed how he was closing up again, shutting himself out from his own feelings, but you both knew that now it wasn’t the time. You didn’t even know if that time would come.

Calum was the first one to talk after a while “And I get what you’re saying, I really do and I support you in every way… But I mean it when I say that i don’t want love if it’s not you” You sighed.

“And what will happen if it’s not me, then?”

He stays quiet,but a tiny smile creeps on his face as he is trying to offer you some comfort “I guess we’ll find out. But I’ll wait for you, Y/N. I will always wait for you cause I know that we belong together. And I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it right for you. To prove my love for you”

“I can’t ask you to do that, and I won’t” You say after a while “We both need to figure ourselves out, to find a life without the other one around, and, if we do end up together, then that’s beautiful. But you have to be open to the possibility of another ending, Calum. I cannot stand around and watch you waste your life away”

Calum nods, he knows you are right, but that doesn’t mean he likes what you are saying. He will respect your decision, though. He knows his love isn’t fragile.

He knows that it was his time to go. He knows that he could still say so much, he could still apologize ten thousand more times and claim his love till infinity, but he knows you won’t change your mind and he can’t, no, he won’t blame you for that. So he turns to leave, but before he gets the chance to do it, you grab him by the arm and pull him for one last hug.

You don’t know what came over you, but a voice inside of you begged you to hold him closer, just one more time and remember what it felt like to be wrapped inside his embrace. And as you held each other close, somehow you both knew that this was a goodbye.

“This is it?” He asks after a silent moment of tears and snuffles, with face hidden in the crook of your neck, taking in your perfume and engraving it in his memory.

“I’m not sure,” You say “It might be”

“If it is. Could you lie and tell me you love me?” Calum pleads “Just for one last time?”

You pull him closer to you, “I could lie and tell you that I don’t”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

And I also wanna tag some of the beautiful people who asked for a part 2, I hope you liked it ✨ @theshyspy @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo @wontlastimokwiththat @wldflwercal Thank you ❤️

[princessphilly]

Tag list:  Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah, @joelsfarabee, @besthockeyfics. @dreamer1430 @defiant-mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol @t0xickisses2 @nhlboyshavemyhart88​  @tangercrosbyschultzfan25887

Join the tag list here!

CW: Angst, angst, angst. 

Word count: 2916

Nina sighed as she snuggled her pillow. It sucked watching Sidney shake hands in the handshake line, the disappointing end to a good season. She sniffled as she watched Sidney stoically shake hands with the Flyers, disappointment and anger on his face.

This season, the Penguins had drawn the Islanders in the divisional semi-finals. After a hard-fought seven game series, the Pens had finally got past the Isles. However, the Flyers, surprisingly, made it past the Canes and the Battle of Pennsylvania was on. Unlike 2018, the Flyers won this time, in five games. Nina put her phone on vibrate, just in case Sidney called her.

However, Sidney didn’t call that night or for a fucking week. Nina was understanding at first but understanding turned into annoyance when pictures were posted of Sidney golfing with Kasperi, Brandon, and a couple of the single players. Nina just was glad she had the foresight to limit comments on her IG to approved commenters because she had no interest in people asking questions about him.

Scrolling her phone, Nina read a text from Marisa: has he called u yet?

No, Nina simply responded. She wasn’t going to call him first either. Let him have his bitch fit and golf. He didnt tell me he was going to go do that n im not his wife.

Nina’s phone rang and she answered. “Yes, Marisa?”

“Oh, Nina, he’s a douchebag. I can ask Kevin to slash him a couple of times next season,” Marisa commiserated.

Nina replied, “He hasn’t called me or texted me since that night. I haven’t tried to call him since Sunday because fuck that. I know he got his superstitions and everything but, no. Hell no.”

“I agree. Have you been out?”

Nina shook her head before saying, “I was finishing finals so I haven’t been out. Karesha told me we’re going out this coming Friday and, you know I don’t party like that but I will.”

“Give him something to miss,” Marisa advised.

Nina scoffed, “Something to miss? He’s lucky if I let him talk to me whenever he gets back.”

**

Sid groaned as he turned in his bed in Cole Harbour. He was so fucking pissed about the way the season ended; they finally got past the Isles only to get tripped up by fucking Giroux and his Flyers. Fucking Hart was a damn brick wall and fuck, Sidney could sense that his time in the game was coming to a swift close soon. For the past week and in a half, he had been in a funky snit, annoyed and needing to be away after golfing with the boys.

At the same time, he felt like shit. Sidney knew he shouldn’t have avoided Nina’s call; he was still raw from the loss and he didn’t want to expose Nina to that side. But, she hadn’t called or texted him since and Sidney didn’t know how to break the silence that he had created. Picking up his phone, Sidney blinked when he saw all of the messages on his lock screen. The team’s group chat had been busy last night.

Unlocking his phone, Sidney’s eyes bulged when he saw the messages. There were pictures of Nina out, with one of her friends, wearing a dress that was barely there. Her hair was falling straight over her shoulders but what really got Sidney’s attention was the fact that there were guys all around her. Then Nate sent a text; i guess ur single now. Told u not to go home without talking to her

“I’m a fuck up,” Sidney moaned.

“Yup, you are.”

Sidney blinked as he looked at his phone. He managed to call Tanger and Tanger didn’t look pleased.

“Sid, we’ve been friends for a long time but, I didn’t think you were this stupid,” Tanger scolded. “Really?”

“You know with the way the season ended,” Sidney began before Tanger cut him off.

“Nina knows that. She respects that. Nina’s not clingy or needy like some of the other girls. But, Cath told me you haven’t even called or texted her? Wow, Sid, wow.”

Sidney blushed as he listened to one of his closest friends berate him. Tanger was right. But how was he going to even apologize without looking like a bigger dummy?

“Well, you’re already acting like a dummy, Sid, so you might as well look like a bigger dummy,” Tanger snarked. “Nina isn’t like the other girls. She doesn’t need you.”

Sid gritted his teeth at that statement, especially since he knew that it was very true.

Sidney heard French yelling in the background before Tanger stated, “Cath thinks that despite being so good at hockey, you suck at being a person. And you made Nina cry when Cath last talked to her.”

Sidney wanted to slap himself. He made his pretty girl cry. “Fuck,” he yelled.

“Yeah, fuck. Fix it, Sid, instead of fucking yourself over forever.”

Sidney scrolled his phone after Tanger hung up on him. It looked like he was flying into Pittsburgh asap.

**

Nina sighed as she padded in her apartment. Last night was fun, going out with Karesha. They had just gone out to dinner, a jazz lounge, then ended the night at a rooftop bar. Nina knew people had been taking pictures of her all night and that people were wondering where Sidney was but that wasn’t her problem. There had been plenty of guys willing to take her home but Nina wasn’t interested in any of them either. She still wanted Sidney but fuck him too.

Her doorbell rang and Nina looked at the panel. It was Sidney with a pastry box and a wide grin on his face. Nina opened the door with a smile.

“Hi, pretty girl-”

Then she slammed it in his face, her grin growing wider as she loudly locked the door. Just like a man, coming back right when they realized she was getting attention from other men.

“Go away, Crosby, unless you want attention because you’re knocking on my door,” Nina yelled from the inside. Putting her earpods in, Nina cleaned her apartment for the umpteenth time, singing along.

Sidney gritted his teeth outside of Nina’s apartment. He was expecting her to let him in, yell at him, then he would charm his way back in. He didn’t expect to get the door slammed in his face and being told to leave. His desire not to gain extra attention was the only reason he left.

Nina sighed when she heard Sidney stomp away. Her anger was starting to change to sadness, again. She had hoped this would be different but Sidney was just like every other man; ain’t shit at the end of the day.

**

“Take him for all his cash, girl. Then tell him, maybe I'll take you back.”

Nina rolled her eyes as she listened to Jamila. “For someone so wealthy, you sure like to talk about taking men for their cash.”

“It’s like this; men figure out their self-worth by how big their dick is, how many women they fuck, and how much money they have. You don’t want to go to jail so you can’t cut his dick off. So, fleece him and then dump him for good,” Jamila advised.

Nina sighed and Jamila groaned. “Oh my God, please don’t tell me you miss this dumbass. Dude didn’t contact you after losing in their playoffs! He ignored your call! He only contacted you in person after you and ‘Resha went out! The dick can’t be that good!”

Nina sighed as she listened to Jamila. Over the past couple of days, there had been Edible Arrangement deliveries, lunch bought for the staff, cards proclaiming that he was dumb as hell and sorry for being an idiot. And Nina still didn’t respond. No calls, no texts, Nina was still upset and feeling raw.

“Jamila.. Glass houses remember?”

Jamila sighed over the phone. She didn’t really have that much space to talk but she persisted, “You let him off easy, he’s going to walk all over you forever. I know I’m a fuck up but I never let a man walk all over me. Don’t let Mayo Boy, no, he’s Miracle Whip because that shit is disgusting and he hurt you. Don’t let Miracle Whip think he can apologize a couple times and you’ll come running back.”

“I haven’t made any decisions yet. Plus, I’m going away with Desi, Sio, Lauren, and Kim to Phuket. You know, that trip you helped plan but you can’t go on now,” Nina said as she logged into her workstation. Work had become a refuge of sorts. Everyone was pretty much professional, no one brought up anyone’s personal life. It was all about work and the patients and it made Nina happy. “I gotta go, I have a patient at 8:30.”

“Bye girl, and remember what I said,” Jamila replied.

“Byeeee”

Nina hung up and pulled her earpods out of her ears. It was time to focus on another day of work. Before Nina realized it, it was lunch time. Rubbing her temples, she sighed as she thought about lunch. Grabbing her purse and her keys, Nina made her way out of her office. “Rita, I’m going to get lunch,” Nina called out to the receptionist.

However, as soon as she left, Nina saw the infamous Range Rover in the parking lot and she closed her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood and it looked like it was going to get embarrassing for Sidney.

Luckily, it wasn’t Sidney who came out but someone totally different. Nina let out a breath she was holding and walked to her car. Her vacation was coming up in three days and she would be away for two and a half weeks. Sidney would probably leave her alone once he realized she was out of the country. Nina was sure of it, he had to have been icing her out to dump her anyway for the offseason.

**

“Still no call?”

Sidney sighed as Geno plopped in the chair across from his. He had put on his best smile today for Nikita’s birthday but he was feeling the strain.

“None,” he finally replied. Sidney felt so tired and such a fool. The best thing in his life had slipped out of his fingers and it was all his fault.

Geno snickered as Anna strolled in, holding a box. “Zhenya,” she asked before rolling her eyes at Sidney.

“Da,” Geno replied.

Anna started speaking rapid fire Russian, too fast for Sidney to even attempt to keep up. Geno started to laugh when Anna pointed to Sidney before pointing to the box. Then Anna abruptly turned on her heel and left the room.

Confused, Sidney asked, “What was that?”

Anna hadn’t been talking to him and Sidney felt like he was part of the subject of that conversation. Geno chuckled before replying, “Anna said that it’s a shame Nina isn’t here but she made sure to at least have a gift sent for Nikita before going to Thailand.”

Geno didn’t add the rest, which was Anna saying Nina had better manners than his captain, to at least send a gift that she didn’t have to send, before disappearing. He wasn’t interested in kicking his captain when he was down.

Sidney winced. Part of him felt a bit happy that Nina was somewhere, having fun but it was without him so it was his fault.

“Oh, look at this, Nina’s riding elephant,” Geno crowed as he looked at instagram. Sidney looked at the picture. Nina was riding an elephant, making some kind of triangle symbol with her hands. Then he looked at the comments and the first one said: look at you, dropping baggage and having fun.

Geno snickered before saying, “Poor Sid.”

“Not supportive, Geno,” Sidney remarked, closing his eyes.

There was a pause before Geno replied, “Maybe donate money to things Nina likes. Maybe she’ll talk to you when she gets back.”

**

Sidney checked his phone for what seemed like the umpteenth time. “Cros, she’s not going to text you.”

Sidney rolled his eyes at Tazer’s annoyed tone. Webs, Pricey, and Tanger laughed at him. They were all in Toronto together for a team Canada thing but that was over and they were out for drinks.

“Heard you fucked up, badly,” Webs stated in a dry tone. “When in doubt, always apologize first and buy the woman her favorite thing second.”

“Nina’s not big on buying stuff,” Sidney absentmindedly replied. Getting Nina to splurge on herself was like going to the dentist. It wasn’t fun.

One thing Sidney did realize from off and on monitoring Nina's Instagram was that she was big on helping out at the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank, she liked volunteering at the Humane Animal Rescue of Pittsburgh, and every year, she volunteered at a pop-up shop for girls who wanted to go to prom but couldn’t afford it.

Sidney wrote five figure checks to each organization, in Nina’s name, no strings attached. Sidney was serious about trying to get his pretty girl back and he knew that Nina was serious about volunteering and giving back. Now, he was just waiting to see Nina’s reaction. If Nina told him thanks but it was over, Sidney would be upset but he could accept it.

There were no texts that night but that morning, Sidney woke up to a text from Nina. It was a simple thank you but it meant more than anything to Sidney at that moment.

**

Nina sighed as she looked at the thank you cards that had been waiting for her when she returned home. This was so out of the ordinary, she had to text Sidney when she saw them. It was more meaningful than gifts.

The trip to Phuket had been amazing but there had been a tinge of sadness for Nina. She enjoyed riding the elephants, experiencing the beaches, going diving, everything. It was truly the vacation she had been waiting to have, after Covid and then switching jobs had pushed everything back. Despite her best efforts, Nina missed Sidney. She missed that dumbass hockey player, he had wormed into her heart that easily. She missed him and was still supremely angry at him. Nina felt like the biggest dumbass on earth. As she waited for him to show up at her place, she wanted to bang her head into the wall. I fucked up by dating him, Nina said to herself.

Her doorbell rung and Nina opened the door. It was Sidney, hands in his pockets, no gifts this time. He ached to bring her into his arms but Sidney wouldn’t touch Nina unless she gave him permission.

There was a stony silence after Sidney closed the door, neither willing to say the first word. Nina tried to summon some of the anger she had but all that was left was pain and sadness. Before she even realized, a couple tears had slipped. Sidney saw them and his composure completely crumbled. He did the one thing he swore he would never do; he made his pretty girl cry.

Nina hiccupped as Sidney pulled her into his arms. He just held her as she cried. “Fuck you, Sidney Crosby. I felt like you were icing me out before dumping me. Fuck you, you fucking jagoff.”

“I-I should have said something but I was so pissed and I didn’t want to lash out at you. Then it just snowballed,” Sidney said, heartbreaking as Nina sniffled.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass. I don’t even know why I’m even considering taking you back.”

Sidney said, “I just didn’t want to burden you with everything I go through at the end of the season, especially when it’s disappointing.”

“Fuck that, Sidney.” Nina glared up at him, the big dummy. “Communication, it means that if you say you’re in a relationship, you communicate. You should have even sent a text, ‘I’m pissed as fuck, going golfing with the boys, be back soon’ or even just periodically texted those stupid hi and good morning beautiful texts. How would you feel if I didn’t call or text you and went away?”

Sidney paused as he considered Nina’s point. He was unhappy he didn’t know that Nina had gone away without telling him but he couldn’t say anything now. “Your face says it all, Crosby,” Nina snarked.

“I’m sorry, Nina,” Sidney said, deep from his heart.

Nina sighed, she could tell he was truly sorry. “Those donations… they were a total surprise. They all needed the money and are dear to me. But the Pittsburgh Prom Dress giveaway, we always need more funds since it doesn’t get as many donations around the year. Your donation not only allowed us to provide more dresses this prom season, it also allowed us to expand our collection so that we could provide suits as well as dresses. Thank you, Sidney.”

“You’re welcome,” he sincerely replied.

Keeping her cheek on his chest, Nina said, “I’m dumb because I really am considering taking you back. But don’t ever do that again.”

Pulling away a bit, Nina looked deep into Sidney’s eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t think I’m clingy, I don’t require much, but don’t even do that again. I don’t need you to call me everyday but don’t ever ignore me like that again, Sidney.”

“I won’t, I swear,” Sidney promised, happy that his pretty girl was talking to him again.