#I haven't had anyone read anything I've written in a long time

[binding-with-briars]

*posts my first fic on AO3*

*refreshes every 30 seconds*

[impactedfates]

Detective Oblivious - Various Genshin Characters x GN! Reader

★ Summary: Your best friend lately has been acting strange. Could they have a crush on someone?! You have to get to the bottom of it…though perhaps you can start by noticing how they look at you

☆ Characters Included (Separate): Alhaitham, Ayato, Kazuha, Xiao, Yelan, Ningguang

★ Genre/Trope: Romantic + Fluff + Maybe a bit of Crack

☆ Warnings: None

★ Extra: HSR Ver Here // Semi-Proof Read

Honestly I don't blame you for not noticing Alhaitham likes you. He's very hard to read. But at the same time, it doesn't take a detective to notice how he's more careful with his words when talking to you. He doesn't necessarily care what you think of him, even if he likes you, however he does wish for you to see him in a more positive light.

So even though you've been friends for so long, his sudden change in how he talks to you is so you can hopefully see how he feels about you as he believes you'd be able to notice but well...much to his dismay and annoyance, you don't.

You got the part that he likes someone, but not that those feelings are directed towards you. Have you not seen the longing stares he gives you when you're doing anything? How he's more lenient in what you're doing?? How when he was The Acting Grand Sage, how he always looked over anything you wrote to him first???

Clearly not as, as when he enters his home he can see you talking to Kaveh to see if he knows anything about who he likes. Kaveh, noticing him behind you, simply smiled. Although Alhaitham wants to confess to you, he'd rather him telling you directly or you finding out yourself without the need of help from others. And Kaveh knew this...

"Oh, he likes yo-"

A book was suddenly thrown at Kaveh as the Scribe quickly took you away.

"Wh- hey! He was going to tell me something"

"Didn't want him to say something I should be saying...I should be the one telling you I like you"

Many people caught on to the way Ayato treated you differently towards others, in fact. Both Ayaka and Thoma knew he liked you before he himself knew. Yet, why was it that everyone but you knew how much he held you dear to his heart?

Ayato never had much free time to be frank, however unlike his other friends and even family. He would never send anyone as many gifts as he did to you. Anytime you liked something you'd have it delivered to your house right away. You always thanked him for it, beaming as you looked at it. Although you did slightly feel bad as some of the things you off handily mention wanting are quite expensive. But the Commissioner doesn't care. Seeing that smile is enough for him.

What he does care about however, is how dense you are towards his acts of affection. As stated, he gives you more gifts than anyone else he knows. But another thing he does that he's surprised doesn't get you to catch on, is him "jokingly" calling your Mx Kamisato (he's half joking, he does want to marry you)

What surprises him more is that you somehow think it's directed to someone else?? You question him on who he's referring to even though he was looking directly at you.

Eventually he gently backs you into a corner and makes you face him, turning your chin towards him.

"My dear...I've tried everything but you don't get the hint. So I'll say it here...I love you~"

You found some poems that Kazuha had written, and it's about someone. In fact, it's about someone romantically. This caused you to quickly search for who said love poem is about.

One of the kids witnessed you ranting to yourself about who could've taken the samurai's heart and told Beidou, who then found it amusing enough to tell Kazuha who at first laughs it off before realising you've likely read the poems he wrote. He is thankful you haven't found out it's about you, but at the same time. He doesn't think you've met anyone that's like you, and the love poem does describe you near perfectly. Still...at least you haven't found out?

He watches from a small distance as you glance at him before looking away. This happens a lot, especially when he's talking to a friend who questions your behaviour. In fact, you've done this so much that people assume you're Kazuha's partner and want his attention. They even comment about it to which you both politely explain that you're just friends.

Eventually though, he makes no comment when someone assumes the two of you are dating, which makes you question him which leads to you finally figuring out who the love poem is about.

"Wait so...the love poems..."

"Is about you yes, I like you"

I can see him being quite confused himself when he realises he likes someone and might even tell you about how he's feeling. He won't directly say who it is but he tells enough to let you know he's fallen DEEP in love with someone.

Now the two of you are trying to figure out just who's the one making his heart beat faster and clouding his mind. In truth, Xiao quickly realizes it's you that's causing it. But he can't tell you, he's a bit too flustered to tell you, especially with how cute you look trying to figure it out yourself.

So he lets the search go on, he allows you to drag him to meet various people and see if he feels his heart beating faster. And while it does, that's only because you're beside him. Nothing else. He was happy enough to let you guess till you gave up, he didn't think you'd like him back anyways.

However Hu Tao would beg to differ, she's been listening to you rant about how you loved Xiao and all that stuff. In fact, she's even heard from Zhongli that Xiao likes you. So when you come along with the Adeptus in tow and ask him if he feels any different towards her. She has a feeling she knows what's going on. And why not play matchmaker?

"You don't feel anything at all?"

"No..."

The funeral directly quickly piped up, gently pushing you into Xiao's arms and watching his face burst into shades of crimson.

"What about now? Having the love of your life in your arms is bound to make you feel something right?"

She...out right flirts with you. And not in a way to get info from you, just...actual flirting. Yelan knows what she wants and tends to get what she wants. More so in terms of information, but she also wants you and will try anything to make you realize her feelings for you.

She probably knows you like her as well, so this should be easy right? Just flirt with you and you'll get the picture right?...Yeah...

"I would love to spend the future with you y'know darling~ Especially in the same house"

"Oh that would be great"

"Exa-"

"Rent would be so much cheaper if we were roommates"

She...finds your obliviousness cute...in a weird way though. She finds it even more cute that you do in fact recognize her flirting eventually...but think she's using you as practice. Now she spots you trying to figure out who it is so you can help her more. And "act" like her crush. She does need to eventually tell you so you can stop searching, I mean. The answer is clear if you look in a mirror.

"C'mon Lanlan, you need to tell who you actually like"

"Hm? Oh but I am sweetie~"

Ningguang is obviously highly respected and of course has her own set of admirers. You used to see her reading each letter with care and consideration before laughing. Not in a hateful way, truly she's grateful people like her that much. But recently she seems to read them a bit faster, seemingly searching for one name in particular.

It's clear to you she wants a certain person to be in her pile of confession letters. And you'll figure out who. I mean, what better way to help your friend then finding out who she likes and seeing if they like her back right :D

Well...word got to her that you've been searching through some of her things, nothing personal but just around her office. Not to mention observing her more closely lately which she plays off as you being interested in what she has to say. But when she hears that you've apparently scared a poor soul with some of your questioning she goes to confront you.

To which you weakly explain you want to help her find out if her crush likes her back or not. She simply laughs a bit, surprised. She's been giving you special treatment ever since she found out her feelings for you. You've been given bigger discounts because she just cannot let her "darling" pay so much. Alongside other things she thought were obvious hints in the hopes you'll write her a confession letter.

"Well...if you want to help me find out if they like me back, answer me this"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like me?"

Anyone else find it hard to know when someone likes them? Cuz I do, hence this idea sprang forth. Not all the characters included are ones I simp for but I thought it would be interesting to add them (I literally only simp for Alhaitham and Ayato out of the characters included tbh nsoaorgr)

[bamsara]

A03 Questions Tag Game

I got tagged by: @kagedbird I tag: @onethirdofimpossible, @coffincrows, (first two that come to mind) and anyone else who wants to do the game

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

At the time of writing this post, currently 30 fics. (Not including any fics or written works that are not posted to AO3)

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

1,066,633

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Formerly: Don't Starve, FNAF, Dragons Dogma, Invader Zim

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

Solar Lunacy, Celestial Omens, Bytes of Lunacy, The Rehabilitation of Death, Saturday Insomnia

5 – Do you respond to comments?

I try to but I also get very nervous responding because I often don't know what to say back and I feel like it's almost rude or disrespectful to respond to a comment, esp the very nice ones that are long and in-deph with just a keysmash or a bunch of emojis, but I do read every single one since I have email notifications on for them

I'd like to sit down and respond to many but I really don't want to make it awkward so pls dear god readers forgive me

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't like unhappy endings. I enjoy angsty stories but I like when it's at least ending happy to me

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not posted? Solar Lunacy

Ongoing? TROD

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? Most adults (in my experience) know the 'don't like don't read' rule and know basic online etiquette. I've gotten some for discontinuing a fic or switching fandoms though

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write or draw NSFW! I like to make some suggestive themes sometimes, but I'm a very ace person, it's not something I do often. (I do have a current running goal that if my friend reaches their donation goal for their medical bills that I would give NSFW a shot, but again its not really my cup of tea)

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nah I haven't written any cross overs, but I do draw them sometimes. Recently I've been spinning a Alice in Wonderland x COTL crossover in my head.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep. I've had people copy and paste my work, go in with a thesaurus to change a few words (like changing 'angry' to mad, 'upset' to 'sad', and so forth) to try and avoid detection and re-posted my written work under a different title name. AO3 staff took them down for violating their policy against plagiarism though

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I wouldn't mind it so as long as I'm asked before hand, though not on anon so I can actually work with the person to prevent any mistranslations or mishandling, and that I don't want my work posted to other websites

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

I think I did when I was a teen but I cannot remember now

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Eh I don't have any favorites, just ones I really focus on for a long while

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pass.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

I can sit down for hours or several days and work on a writing wip completely in the zone. I cant do it on command but its at least something I can do

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

Spelling and grammar, and sometimes long running sentences. I just kinda write, theres not really a goal for it to be perfect though so as long as the story gist and vibe is right, im fine with it

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before but only minor, had a friend help me with it (one or two lines of dialogue) Aside from that, I'm not comfortably fluent enough in anything to do it again without assistance

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Soul Eater, when I was wayyy too young to be posting anything on the internet. My fanfics I wrote are still on fanfic.net to this day

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

It's inbetween TROD and EE&E right now

[j-nope-not-today]

Can i get a request of what turns the turtle brothers on? If not thats 100% okay👍🏾 I HOPE YOUR WELL❤️

Tmnt turn on's

A/n: sorry it's been so long since I've written. Things haven't been the best lately, but I figured I should feed ya'll some bread crumbs since it's been so long. Please enjoy. Minor's don't read obvi.

Raphael

So as we all know..Raph is a big ass guy

So absolutely anything to do with your ass is a big turn on for him.

Like if you bend over in front of him..prepare to get got

Will not hesitate to slap your behind..bc it's already right there..

Would use the defense "But you were teasing me!"

I think another big turn on for him would probably be you scratching his shell

Which shouldn't be one..but he's a softie and it's such a nice place to be touched..I honestly think the first time would embarrass him

But it would lead to a very intimate, loving session between you two

Other than that I don't think there are any other note worthy ones to mention

Leonardo

As much as I love leo..I think he's a pretty basic bitch 💅

But not in a bad way..he just doesn't fall into any big mentions for turn on's in my opinion.

I think one he would have would probably be starting anything touchy feely in public.

Like caress his leg under the table or squeeze it and he's gonna get bricked up

I think anything that would get you caught or deemed as "wrong" would definitely be a big turn on

I mean he's always had to be perfect and fit into everyone's image..so he's definitely a little bit freaky.

Donatello

Donnie is a freeeeaaak

I could go on and on about what turns him on

Restraints..omg he's foaming at the mouth

You getting stuck somewhere..that's a definite secret one of his..

I feel you dressing up in cosplay would be a big big one for him bc Donnie is a nerd

But we love that about him

Toss your leg over his waist while your cuddling or sleeping and I ensure you..you'll gain a fun surprise

I feel like Donnie is shy about it at first..but once he's comfortable with you

It's game over..it'll be on sight

So good luck..and enjoy your ability to walk while you have it.

Michelangelo

Just about anything will get him going

Brush your hand on his knee..he's bricked up

Hug him and instantly he'll whine into your ear "Angelcakes~"

He's always in the mood and always ready to go

But he has his limits..I don't think anywhere in front of anyone would get him like that.

I feel he is a very private person..jokes are fine and good..but the real deal and all that is for you two alone

He may be ready for spicy time just about any time..but the romance don't die

He may or may not have mentioned to you once that he wanted to role play himself and..you...delivering his pizza..don't ask..it's a Mikey thing.

[azrielgreen]

Looking back at the last 2 years🖤

Huge energy shift happening in slow motion the last few weeks. Either go with the change and embrace the new energy or stay another cycle.

I feel so happy and excited that I got to write everything I wanted in the Steddie pairing and was able to share it with the people who WANTED to read it. I've always written for myself and I always will, but to have touched a few people along the way and brought a little light where it might not otherwise have been, that's a beautiful experience for me. I'm so grateful to everyone who reached out with kindness and passion. I'm grateful to have been so inspired. And I'm so happy I get to share more with you now as I go with the energetic shift that March always brings and follow the river where she leads.

There are several works about to be completed by me over the next week and even more after that, which is why I haven't been around much. This is so thrilling for me, honestly. Completing works is even better than starting them.

I'll always be writing for me, and sharing it with anyone who might like it. But as the energy shifts more and more, I wanted to share specifically what I'm grateful for the last few years and some of my best memories.

One of the first long comments I got on WSJK, it made me cry.

The first time I randomly saw a TikTok about my fics, nothing like that had ever happened to me before.

When I sold out the YD tarot deck in a single day.

People encouraging me to start a Patreon and then so many signing up!

Waking up to 100+ comments on ch2 of BOD.

Everyone who read week by week on You're Divine and supported me.

The people I met here who are my beloved friends now in real life

Those who reached out to share their own experiences with me.

Fanart, all of it♥︎ but especially the first piece that was ever sent to me by someone who asked me not to share it. If you, the artist, sees this (Eddie with his wrist over his mouth) please know that I still look at it every day.

To have inspired anyone, even just a little.

The freedom to write professionally.

Every single learning experience, bad or good.

The growing confidence to write whatever I want and share it.

Writing with @thorniest-rose

Bringing Little Bit to life - a character I've always had inside me who never had a name until YD.

Every comment showing the generosity of kindness people are capable of.

And most of all, the FUN I had every step of the way with these boys and the stories I got to tell through transformative works. You have no idea how much I ✨️LOVE✨️ writing, how fucking happy I am while working madly on a project. It's been INCREDIBLE to be so inspired for so long. It's not a chore for me, I don't care about reader numbers or popularity or anything like that, I just fucking LOVE to write and this pairing has been pure ecstacy to work with.

Bring on March, bring on the transformation and the fresh new ideas and the forward momentum. I can't fucking wait!!

Love, Azriel.

✨️💕💜💜💜💕✨️

[galvanizedfriend]

HIII if you don’t mind sharing, what are your fav klaroline fics? New and old, I’m in need of new reads 🙏

I'm probably not the best person to be doing new fic recs. 🥲 I have sadly not been reading that much Klaroline myself these days. When I do read fic, it's for other stuff. So my recs are either old or new-ish. 😂 But hopefully you can find something to your liking that haven't read yet here.

Buckle up because I took my sweet time with this list, nonnie.

. Inertia Overcome by @avari20

The first KC fanfic I remember reading the reason why I finally got pulled into the fandom after years of watching TVD as a reasonable spectator (so rly, if you guys can't stand to see me around anymore after all this time, it's this fic's fault for being so good). Honestly one of this fandom's statement works. If you haven't read it yet, please do.

. Timeless by @marvelouskatie

Same as the above. One of the most iconic KC fics of all time imho. The canon AU to end all canon AU. When I first decided to come out of the shadows and create a tumblr and actually start interacting with folks, this was the first fic that was recced to me. I was very grateful then, and now I'm here to pass this knowledge on.

. Picturesque by @supernutellastuff

Honestly of the sweetest, most heartwarming fics I've ever read! It's a human AU that's a How I Met Your Mother sort of adaptation, and honestly the first time I've ever enjoyed HIMYM. I love a good ensemble fic and this is just it! Supernutella is so talented.

. Quiet Light by @definedareasofuncertainty

This fic was WRITTEN FOR ME because of how much I pestered my friend Luiza about Carolijah and this will forever feel like a trophy to my heart. 🥰 It made me feel ALL THE FEELINGS. I hated Caroline, I loved Caroline, I loved my baby Elijah, I hated him, I also hated Klaus (he's such a fucking asshole omfg), but then the end was just DHAGHDDASAS!! You think you're in for a certain kind of story and it turns out to be so much more. It is, deep down, about the brothers, how selfish they are, how they can hurt each other more than anyone, but how they love one another above anything else, even when they want to kill each other (and fall in love with their brother's girl!!!). It's beautiful, like everything Luiza writes, and it genuinely made me cry.

. long limbs and frozen swim by @definedareasofuncertainty

I saw a discussion the other day about how whoever wrote this fic JUST GOT IT, and I have to say I completely agree with the person who made that comment. Luiza just NAILS Caroline's grief and loneliness after her mother's death, how isolating and gut-wrenching it is. Klaus being the person who finds her, who knows exactly what to say without her ever having to spell it out, the one who can truly see her, is so honest too. This fic is sensitive and absolutely beautiful. Luiza's writing is perfection and this is for sure one of my all-time favorites.

. Whisper to me, Help me remember by @lalainajanes

This story reimagines the plot with the "villains" of TO S3 in a way that proves my point that the premise of that season was good, but execution was absolute crap. All of the potential the De Martels had to be incredible antagonists was completely destroyed at the hands of the show writers - but explored to perfection by Laine's much more capable hands. Klaus is freed after 10 years in captivity to find that Caroline had been working with Tristan this whole time in order to take him down - except something is not quite right about that. While you're at it, please read all of Laine's fics! It's a delight.

. Into the Woods by @jinxedwood

I wept when I read this because it's the post-TO canon fic I didn't even know I needed. Caroline's search for a way to stop her twins' merger ends up leading her to someone who's been watching over her on the Other Side. 😭 I thought I'd always rather live in denial when it came to how TO ended, but this fic made my heart so full! Also, jinxedwood's use of fae mythology here was incredible.

. All I Need by @euvixen

This story is HOT. It taught me things about the werewolf AU universe I was not prepared to learn, but I am a much happier person after reading it. It's a canon mates AU that will leave you 🥵🥵🥵🥵 I speak as though the story was merely about the smut, but it's actually much more than that. A TVD S3 reimagine of sorts that is incredibly satisfying. That's my favorite season of TVD, but this is still even better.

. the birth and death of the day by @little-miss-sunny-daisy

Anyone who's known me for a some time knows how this fic was my entire personality for a while there. I'm obsessed with Kelly's writing, and I have this fic on a freaking pedestal. I first started reading it when it was on a six years hiatus, and I was *so* into it I didn't even bother me that it might never get updated because it was so good I was just happy I'd found it. But then my silly comments inspired Kelly to come back to it, finish it, and it has honestly been my greatest accomplishment as a part of this fandom because this is a masterpiece. It's a TVD/Supernatural crossover where Caroline is a step-sister to the Superbros. It's truly, truly epic, with beautiful writing. This could genuinely be a show. It's amazing, just read it.

. this is a harvest by @highgaarden

This, right here, is the perfect Klaroline-within-canon story. This is the story that put my revolt to rest and gave my spirit some much deserved peace where those two are concerned. This is exactly what canon should've been like. I'm not even joking, this is IT. If you'd asked me what I thought the perfect Klaroline development should be like I probably would've said something very vague because I couldn’t explain it, I’m not that great or creative a writer, but now I can just show you this story and let you bask in the amazingness of a fantastic read that will not only keep you thoroughly entertained, but will also be the answer to all the questions you didn't even know you had.

. Paradise Lost by Borzoi

When i grow up, I want to learn how to write like Borzoi. All of their fics are incredible novella-like reads. It's addictive. And this is probably my favorite (it varies though, sometimes I'm in a Parisian Deal era). What happens after Klaus and Caroline sleep together in 5x11, and how they eventually find their way back to each other. It's just one of those stories that you can't stop reading after you start. It's so rich, so deep, so perfectly IC. One of those fics to end all fics.

. The Stubborn Grace of Being Loved Regardless by @helpless-in-sleep One of the modern day classics, if you will. This fic is such a stunning, vivid and delicate picture of Caroline's mind as she was dealing with the consequences of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Damon. She's still human, but she's probably more IC than we've seen her ever on the show when it comes to this. The bond she forms with Klaus is truly incredible too, and speaks a lot of how the two of them really do have a lot in common (even with Caroline still as a human), but it's really the Caroline study part of the story that touches me. The writing is absolutely beautiful as well.

. it takes a while to settle down by theviolinist

This story is a punch to your stomach, but it is PERFECTION in 8k words. It's hot, it's bittersweet, it's SO in character and, in my head, I kinda like to pretend that this is what happened before Caroline married Stefan. lol

. Wanderlust by @bellemorte180 Anybody who was a part of fandom around the time this story was being published can tell you how much of an EVENT it was. There were discussion groups about the mystery. It was so entertaining. Erica's attention to detail and how she wove the little clues throughout the chapters made this a genuine thriller. I particularly some of the side-characters here. It's honestly another fandom staple I think everyone should read.

--

In terms of newer fics that I can rec you, I have two that are on my TBR. One of them is a WIP that I've been slowly going through, and the other one I know was recently finished.

. make them bow by @stars-and-darkness

This was recced to me by two friends recently and I started reading it a while back and thought it was incredible! I have sadly been awful with keeping up with stuff, but just based on the raving reviews and the five chapters I read, I fully believe it to be just as awesome as it seems to be. The writing was so good, and I was just in love with Klaus' voice in this story. It was so reminescent of early-days TVD Klaus, which is by far my favorite Klaus of all. Sexy and dangerous and so smooth. I loved it! Need to get back to it.

. Wolf Club by @Radioactive79

Listen, if you like kid fics, this is absolutely for you. The whole story is narrated by an eight-year-old OC, the daughter of Ray Sutton, the first werewolf Klaus kills when he's trying to start his mass-production of hybrids. She's a little wolf herself, and a while little thing who was subjected to her fair share of child trauma. Klaus has no idea what to do with her, but ends up taking her with him as continues on his journey, and ends up forging a bond with the little girl. I cannot tell you how delicious this story is. It has Klaroline, yes, but for me the little girl is the absolute star of the company. I usually hate OCs, especially children, in fics, but this one is AMAZING. Seriously. The way this story is written is glorious. I can't recommend it enough.

[cosmicjoke]

Just adding this on, but this isn't an attempt on my part or an encouragement to harass these people, though I'm sure everyone reading this already knows that. Just a means of letting others know who's behind at least some of the harassment lately.

Alright, well, here comes the call-out post that I promised anon. Have fun with it, I guess. It's about to get long, folks. A group of @tsuki-no-ura followers, who's been obviously vague posting about me for months at this point, specifically targeting every topic I discuss on my blog by making counterarguments to it on their blog, even though I never directed any of my analysis posts or anything else at them, nor has anything I've ever written been in direct response to anything they've written, is certainly behind at least some of the harassment. And other than the times I've tried having conversations with tsuki in the past, when I used to follow them, and wanted to discuss their posts with them, which almost always went ignored, I haven't at all addressed them or made reference to them, either implied or specifically, in any of my analysis posts. I only made reference to them a few weeks back when I found out that they'd essentially said my defense of Levi's violence was tantamount to Nazism, which I wasn't going to let stand. That's the only time I've ever directly referenced them. And yet, every time I make an analysis post, a counterargument to it magically appears on their blog the same day or a few days later, something that was brought to my attention by a mutual of mine. I had no idea until a couple weeks ago that this was happening, because I stopped following them more than a year ago, and only just recently blocked them. But they're obviously stalking me. And, inevitably, every time they do this, a slew of anon hate messages get sent, both to me and various other blogs that I follow, or that follow me. This isn't a coincidence:

@clearavenuelover, @66honeybadgers, and I'm sure various other of their groupies, are the ones almost assuredly largely behind the anonymous attacks on Levi blogs over the last, several months. They start out with their passive-aggressive bullshit, and eventually, of course, it turns to outright hostility, because that's just who these people are. @clearavenuelover purposefully tagged me in one of tsuki's posts, and so obviously they're aware of their followers harassing other Levi fan blogs. This is the link to the post they tagged me and other Levi fan blogs in: https://www.tumblr.com/tsuki-no-ura/739123803956854784/okay-so-here-i-come-with-my-discourse-causing

And yet more evidence that these people all congregate in the same circles and circle-jerk each other over how they think they're "winning" some non-existent contest against me and other Levi fan blogs.

And look who liked this answer as soon as it was put up:

And here @66honeybadgers is again, name-dropping tsuki-no-ura while they continue to harass me:

And this is clearly the same douche-bag that asked me a few weeks back if I considered myself a "Levi expert", and has now, over the last two days, continued to harass me for daring to express my opinion about Levi on my own blog, dropping the "friendly" act and showing their outright hostility:

This is clear harassment from a very specific corner of the fandom, mainly, surprise, surprise, eruri shippers, or even just Erwin stans who want to make everything about him, and get angry at anyone who dares to express any different view from the ones they hold, to the point of actively seeking out and stalking our blogs, hate reading our posts, going into our inboxs and sending us anonymous hate messages, trying to cram their opinions down our throats and then getting upset when we don't listen or accept their views. And then they want to go around acting like they're all the victims. What a joke these people are. Anyway, I just thought I should make this post so that actual Levi fan blogs can know to avoid and block these assholes. I can't say if they're behind ALL of the harassment, but they're certainly behind some of it, and it's good to expose them because they're cowards, and once they've been exposed, they won't have the fucking balls to continue.

[maemisnippets]

Lil Update

Apologies for the inactivity. Here's a pouty Yujin as a sign of life from me.

Just a lil update below (be warned: kinda sad)

You writing again?

To be honest with yall, the last snippet I posted (the one posted just now) was written last December. It's actually unfinished, just missing a humorous ending or witty finishing sentence or smthn, but I got too lazy to think of one. Thought I'd post it now cuz I do kinda miss being on Tumblr.

Anyways, in all honesty, I don't feel like writing anymore. While I don't know why exactly, all I know is that I've lost a lot of motivation in writing and reading smuts in general. If anyone has checked my blog the past few months, yall might have noticed that I have closed requests for a while now, and it will stay closed for a long while. Asks and commissions are still open tho.

How am I?

Can't say I'm good, but can't say I'm doing bad either. College is still taking most of my waking hours. I'm almost done tho! Just about halfway through my last year of college, but this shit fuckin sucks. Glad it's almost over.

If anything, I can say I'm doing better. I visited family these past few months and that went well. Did a lot of stuff with them, caught up with cousins I haven't seen in a very long time, and overall had a really great time. Makes me realize how grateful I should be for even the little things in life.

Boonker?

Yeah left that shit. Not coming back.

I've already said my reasons on why I left to a few people, but in short, it's just not the same place it used to be. I still keep in touch with some people I met here tho, and my discord and tumblr DMs are always open for those who still bother having me around.

Any chance of a comeback?

Not in the near future, but not impossible. It seems to be a trend among "retired" writers to come back eventually so, maybe someday I'll come back as well.

Yujin? Kep1er?

Yujin (the Choi variant) still the loml. And Kep1er always in my heart. STAN KEP1ER YOU FUCKS

If you made it here, have another Yujin

[softspeirs]

A/N: I am an emotional wreck after that last episode. No spoilers here, just looking for a place to put my feelings. Let's check in on our pals John and Ellie.

five. out of order.

Her first few letters are short, silly, rambling. He devours every word.

His heart is still pounding and he knows he's had a silly smile on his face for the last hour or so as he sits up with the light on. The nurse on duty has told him to go to bed a few different times, but he can't help it.

It's like a book you can't put down, the way she's written to him. He still can't believe it.

The next letter unfolds on crisp, sharp white paper, her words in loopy script that slants slightly - she’s left handed, he’s learned.

Dear Major Egan,

If we would have had more time, I would have asked how you prefer to be addressed. I hear your friends call you Bucky, but it feels too… familiar, somehow.

I hope you’re safe.

The last time we spoke, there was something in your eyes that I recognized from the last time my brother was on leave, and that’s why I felt I had to turn you away. I hope you don’t think less of me - turning away a perfectly good patron isn’t normally standard practice, you see.

I thought about it for a long time after you left. By now you’re probably getting ready to fly, and I hope you aren’t too reckless. I don’t know if you see it, but so many people care about you and want you to come back. You might break Mrs. Henderson’s heart if you don’t swipe flowers from her garden ever again.

I hope you’re well. I’ll write to you again soon.

Yours,

Eleanor Peters

He can feel the indent in the page where she signed her name. He imagines her sitting under dim lamp light, writing to someone who only spoke to her on occasion and usually when he was rip roaring drunk.

For a moment, he feels unbearably ashamed. But he remembers when he had come to apologize to her and when she had given him something to think about for those years locked behind the wire - the way she wrote to him the entire time he was gone.

She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t think he was worth it… right?

He finally falls asleep and when he wakes, Buck is there. He’s reading, and Bucky wonders if he slept at all the night before.

It was hard for him too, to get used to being able to sleep through the night without the fear of being awoken or the instinct to keep one eye open.

“Sleep well?” Buck asks, not looking up until he dog ears the corner of his page.

“Fine. You?”

Buck shakes his head. “Not really.” He meets his friend’s gaze. “Hard to get used to the quiet.”

Bucky nods. “Flying again today?”

“Later.” Buck confirms.

“I think— I think I need to go speak to Ellie. As soon as I get cleared to be up and about.”

Buck’s eyebrows rise. “Yeah?” A smile is growing on his face.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

Buck laughs. “I didn’t say anything.”

“It was your face that said it.”

“I think she could be real good for you, John.” Buck says, still snickering a little. “She seemed nice.”

“Don’t know what I’ve got to offer anyone, much less someone like her.” Bucky mutters.

“Hey. You remember what I told you?” Buck leans forward, elbows on his knees. “You’re worth knowing. She wanted to know you back then, if those letters are anything to go off of.”

"Yeah." Bucky looks at the small table at his bedside, to where the stack of envelopes sits. He thinks of the last one in the stack. The one that's already wrinkled from him reading it over and over.

Bucky,

I've decided I've been writing to you long enough to call you by your moniker, though if I'm wrong feel free to address anything you write back to me as Miss Eleanor - it's what everyone else calls me, and you want to know a secret? I hate my first name.

It sounds too matronly, but no one calls me Ellie, not really. Only a few of my closest friends.

I've been writing to you now for over a year. I haven't posted a single envelope. By now, I know that you're alive at least. That was a relief. But I still don't know where to send letters, and if I did, I don't know how you'd take them. This friendship seems awfully one-sided at the moment, though of course that's my fault.

I wish I would have had the guts to post some of these letters, but especially this one, for a few reasons.

Major Crosby stopped by today and I tried to be coy when I asked of any word of you, but I think he's picking up on the hints. Oh, I hope he doesn't give you too much grief about it when you get back (because you will get back) - so I figure the cat's out of the bag now, so to speak.

I keep hearing rumblings about camps all over Europe. Horrible, evil things, and my heart just aches thinking of you in a place like that. You don't deserve any of this, and even if it sounds ridiculous - I barely know you - I just feel it deep down. That you're a good person.

The last reason I wish I had enough courage to send this is to say thank you. Because as much as I started writing these letters for you, they've become something that's truly helped me, too. I enjoy writing little mundane things about my day and it makes me feel as if I'm not so alone here either. Things are quiet in the village as always, and I don't have many friends. It's just me, my younger brother Henry, and my Dad. No word on when my brother Daniel might be home yet, and it’s too quiet in our house.

I've been rambling too long. Like I said, maybe someday you'll read this, and maybe someday I'll have the guts to just tell it right to your handsome face in person: I think I'm smitten with you, Major John Egan, and I should have told you that before you left.

I hope you think of me sometimes. It's a little selfish, but I'll say it anyway.

I hope you're safe.

Yours (and I mean that),

Ellie

When he first read that, he felt so clearly that he could see inside her brain. He felt her nerves to be writing it, the way she felt a little silly at writing to someone who she barely knew, but especially knowing she was never going to send it.

But he also feels his heart tighten every time he reads the last paragraph, because he knows exactly how she feels. While he wishes she would have found a way to get these letters mailed, he also loves the way he's gotten to know her like this.

Through her own written word, he feels like he's lived the last two years right here with her, going through her day and getting to know who she is.

They're doing this all out of order. He knows it's ridiculous.

But he can't help but feel a little head over heels with her, too.

He thinks it's too soon to tell her that, no matter what she's said in her letter. But he feels it, nonetheless. Stranger things have happened.

Buck is still watching him, a small smile on his face. "You want me to call down to the pub and see if she'll come by and sit with you for awhile?"

Bucky tenses, but decides he's done feeling embarrassed about the whole thing. "You'd save me going AWOL and getting my head ripped off by Nurse Wells," he says casually.

"You got it. I'll see what I can do." His friend says, rising to his feet.

"Be careful." Bucky says, out of habit. These missions, they're milk runs, but he still tenses watching Buck walk away from him. He wonders if that feeling is ever going to go away.

Buck waves over his shoulder, and then he's gone.

.

An hour later, he hears the click of her shoes before he sees her. He imagines he can smell the sweet floral of her perfume too.

"Heard you missed me." She says, sitting down with a parcel in her lap, no fanfare.

He grins. "Maybe. Whatcha got there?"

"Thought you could do with a home cooked -- well, pub cooked - meal." She blushes a little, but then straightens like she's come to a decision. "Besides, if you're not well enough to take me out to dinner yet, then I'll bring dinner to you."

He's well and truly gone.

She eyes the stack of letters on his table. "You've read them all?"

His eyes are dark with emotion when he meets her gaze. "A few times."

"And?" She sounds nervous. "Do you think l'm completely mental?"

He laughs. "Ellie, I know we're doing this a little out of order." He reaches for her hand. "But I know everything I need to know about you. And I'm sure about this." He arches an eyebrow, "That is, if you're still smitten."

She blushes in full then, trying to pull her hand away from his. He doesn't let her; tugs her closer, and kisses her temple when he can reach her. He sees her shoulders relax.

"This is crazy." She says, breathless.

"Maybe." He shrugs. "But look-- I thought I wasn't ever going to get back here. And I don't know what's going to happen next. But after the last two years... I'd like to figure it out. With you. If you'll have me."

Her eyes well up with tears, and he frowns, thinking he's gone too far, but then she's leaning forward, pressing her lips against his lightly, and everything goes click inside his heart.

He's right where he's meant to be.

[captainmera]

Hey, do you have any advice/tips for writing?

I have this Toh fanfic idea that I've been meaning to write for a while... but every time I try to write it, I end up just staring at the screen instead-

Sure bud! I'm by no means an expert! Just an enthusiast who loves storytelling! :) But I'm happy to help any fellow creative with whatever knowledge I can share!

So, from this ask I am gathering that you are feeling overwhelmed by your own story, yeah?

Well... Here's some things I do to get out of feeling overwhelmed and just kinda:

First thing first - there is no such thing as a block. You are just not working in the area of creativity you need right now. Areas can be: Writing, researching, watching an analysis of a story you like, consume a work that is in the same genre you are trying to write (cartoon, movie, book, etc).

But you're asking about writing itself. So here we go:

The show time trick. Get a ritual of some sort. Wear something every time you write, like a hat or a scarf, a bathrobe. OR just get tea/coffee/whatever. This will Pavlov your brain into triggering a OH IT'S TIME TO BE CREATIVE mode! .

Warm up. Write something else. A poem, a prompt (there's a ton on pinterest to pick from). This will get you into the groove of things. Remember that it's not supposed to be serious, it's just something to get you to write. One exercise I know of is called "random stream", which is where you just write down the first word that pops into your head in a non-stop stream. It doesn't even have to be sensible, just words. Like this: I think I know what this cookie monster can and will not do hi mom grandma basketball fishing rodding down a stream dodging every single flying leaf that a tree throws at me oh no a branch aa help here comes the cavalry and the ships are sailing in to the harbour and this is a good day actually. This will help you get your "vocals" and flows going. And if you in the midst of it feel like "oh! wait! :D" and like your writing-muse just woke up, get off the exercise and start working! :) .

Analyse your work. First - read it all aloud to yourself. You will hear where it sounds off. And then, what you need to do to be able to continue, is to fix that bit first. Second - When you are reading your own text, and you feel like you are skimming past or through a passage of text, that's most likely an indication that something needs work. Cut away or rephrase it better. Things doesn't have to be long to be good, it just needs to do what it needs to do. If it doesn't serve the story or scene, remove it. Now, that's for if you HAVE work to go through. If you haven't written anything yet, write down somewhere what you WANT to write. Analyse your key points. That's much easier than doing the big magus opus right away. T H I S I S O L D A S H E L L N O W : [L I N K] But I made this back in 2019 for anyone who felt stuck writing their (original) story, and needed an interview kind of ballplank to get your thoughts down. I know you're doing a fanfic but maybe it can help? Not all of these questions will be helpful to you but maybe some will. .

Write the fun thing first. You know what it is you REALLY want to write here, right? There's a scene in your head you want to work towards. Yeah? Well... It's a fanfiction. You don't really, not always anyway, need context. You can just get right into it and the context will probably present itself as you write and people read. People aren't dumb, they'll get it lol! If I start a fanfic with this: Hunter waited in the forest not far from Hexside as they had planned. Willow tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, ready to fight, but lowered his guard when he saw her - and smiled. "Hi." You kinda already figured out, by text alone, that they must have previously decided to meet there and are on friendly terms. Blanks are easily filled in. So feel free to just, like, go for it!

I hope any of that helps!

[asongofmarvelanddc]

Duty PT 4½: Robb's POV

PAIRING: Robb Stark X Reader

WORD COUNT: 4753

WARNINGS: None

SUMMARY: Robb is crushing underneath the weight of his responsibilities, and with his wedding looming, there seems to be no end to his plight.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 5½

MASTERLIST | ROBB STARK MASTERLIST

A/N: I want to start by saying I am so overwhelmed by the amount of love this series has received while I've been temporarily away from tumblr. I haven't written anything in a while and coming back to see all your amazing comments honestly made me so emotional. I forgot how much I love to write, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reminding me. I wish this was part 5, but I've dropped a very (very) rough sneak peek of a future chapter at the end. I hope you enjoy 💞

"What is it?"

Jon is staring at Robb inquisitively. The two have been sitting in silence for some time. They were supposed to be breaking their fast, but Robb got distracted by a letter delivered to him by Maester Luwin. He’s been reading it intently over and over again, eyebrows furrowed as his mind races.

Robb looks up at the sound of Jon’s voice and folds the letter, putting it down to the side.

“Nothing,” he says, as he picks up his fork and attempts to resume eating, but finds he has suddenly lost his appetite.

Jon sits up properly now. He knows that something is wrong, but he doesn’t ask again. Eventually, Robb puts down the fork and balls his fists, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m worried,” he confesses, “Not one of these letters from King’s Landing has mentioned Arya.”

“She’s a child, maybe they just—”

“They claim to have two Starks,” Robb cuts him off sharply, “If that were true, they would make it abundantly clear.”

Sansa’s letter came shortly after their father’s arrest and imprisonment — her script, but clearly the Queen’s words. Robb expected to receive parchment covered in Arya’s blotchy scrawls not long after, but nothing ever came. It’s as if she was never in King’s Landing.

Jon is quiet as the implications of Robb's words dawn on him, “They wouldn’t harm her."

Robb stares off into the distance as he considers what the Lannisters might be thinking. Everything in him wishes he could know what is happening at King's Landing.

"No, I don't think they would," he finally mutters, briefly rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, "Not after Father."

At least that is what he is choosing to believe. What he has to believe in order to keep hold of any sanity that remains in him.

He's tired. Exhausted beyond comprehension. He barely sleeps at night because the thoughts in his head never quiet. There is always something that needs to be done, something that needs attending to, both at Winterfell and at the frontlines.

It's getting to be too much.

Robb sighs heavily and stands up suddenly. "Please, don't speak a word of this to anyone. I don't want Mother to worry," he says as he walks away, "I need to think."

***

More bad news.

A raven from the South carrying a stern rejection from Stannis Baratheon of Robb’s offer of allyship. Robb expected as much, but a part of him had hoped that the old man would put his pride aside and choose to stand with the North.

“He must be confident that he can defeat the Lannister army in battle,” Maester Luwin suggests. There is no such explanation in the short scroll.

“Whatever it is,” Robb says through gritted teeth as he balls up the piece of paper in his hand, “It doesn’t help us.”

He walks over to his desk and sits down, his knuckles pressed together under his chin. His mind is racing.

“What happens if Stannis usurps the throne? Will you bend the knee?”

Robb looks up at Maester Luwin with hard eyes and sets his jaw. “The North will never again bend the knee to a Southern king. Not while I live.”

A look of pride quickly crosses Maester Luwin’s face. Their conversation is interrupted when Catelyn enters, unaware that her son is not alone.

“My Lady,” Luwin bows in greeting before leaving the two.

Catelyn moves closer to the desk where her son is sat shuffling through some papers, “You look tired.”

“There’s much to be done,” Robb shrugs as he reads yet another request for men from one of his Lords to maintain the upkeep of their holdings.

“It can wait,” she says as she places her hand over the letter and lowers it.

Robb looks at her in confusion and she smiles, nodding to the window just behind him. He turns to look outside and sees the sun going down over the castle walls.

“Right.”

He sighs and gets up to put on his cloak, ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest. Catelyn stops him as he heads for the door.

“Before you go, I just want to know that you understand the importance of the commitment you are making tonight.”

“Of course I do. I haven’t taken this decision lightly,” he turns to face her, “We need the Myrrton's army now more than ever."

Catelyn nods slowly, “And what about her? Lady Y/N?”

“What of her?”

She cocks her head to the side, “Do you care for her at all?”

“I care for her well-being, as any husband should his future bride,” his voice is unemotional and steady, “I’m sure she’s finding all of this just as difficult as I am.”

“Perhaps even more so."

Robb frowns in confusion. He knows that whatever you may be feeling today is no different to what he himself is going through. In fact, considering all he has had to sacrifice, he believes that not even you could know how he feels.

"More so?"

Catelyn nods in response.

“After you say those words tonight and become man and wife, you will wake tomorrow in your childhood home, where your family and all the people you grew up with reside,” she says, “Lady Y/N, however, will not return home. Her mother and father will be gone. She will have no one but you."

"Many have been through the same," Robb says in a stoic manner, "I'm sure she will cope."

"But she is not like most young brides, is she?"

Once again, Robb frowns. His mother is staring him dead in the eye as if there is something unspoken yet understood between them, but he can't discern what she is hinting at.

"Mother, what are you talking about?"

She raises a brow. “As much as they say women like to gossip, we know the truth — men talk too," she walks closer to him, "I’m sure you’ve heard the stories from your men. About what happened to her in King’s Landing.”

Robb rolls his eyes dismissively and turns to head for the door, "That's all gossip."

“From what her mother tells me, that isn’t the case."

He stops in his tracks. The whispers he's heard are not simply 'unpleasant' experiences with a suitor – they are downright horrific. There was never a moment when he believed any of those stories could be true.

"I couldn't begin to imagine how she must feel," Catelyn's voice is barely above a whisper, "Yet again marrying for her family’s benefit to a man she doesn’t know and doesn’t trust. She must be terrified.”

He can't help but think back to the one time you spoke of King's Landing, just after he threw these very rumours in your face. The way your voice wavered...

Robb blinks and looks to the side as he starts to feel the unmistakable pit in his stomach caused by guilt.

"I saw her outside just now," Catelyn continues, "She'd just been sick, the poor girl. She claimed she was feeling ill, but I know better."

"I don't know why you're telling me all this, Mother," he turns around to face her, just a hint of exasperation in his tone.

"Do you remember when I asked you to be Sansa's escort when she wanted to visit a friend outside the castle walls? You couldn't be angry with me so you took it out on your sister," she chuckles as Robb rolls his eyes.

"What has that got to do with my marriage?"

Catelyn pauses for a moment before stepping closer to him. She presses her hands against his cheeks and brushes his curls out of his face.

"I know you're not happy about this, Robb. And I wish you could choose to marry someone you truly love," Robb looks away as she speaks, "But this is where fate has led all of us. You don't have to be happy about it, but you must accept it. Promise me, Robb."

Robb knows his mother is right. This marriage isn't as simple as moving pieces on a map, it is not some great battle strategy. After tonight, he will have another person whose care and wellbeing is his sole responsibility.

He may find you snobbish and slightly condescending, and he knows there is not a chance on this earth that he could ever grow to love you as his wife...but this arrangement is not your fault.

He can't keep punishing you for not being the woman he wants.

"I promise, Mother."

***

The serenity of the Godswood offers little comfort to Robb.

Never has he been so sure of a decision, yet so torn apart by it. The moment he goes through with this marriage, he gains an advantage against the Lannisters. Yet, one thought still lingers at the back of his mind: when the war is over, will any of this have been worth it? Will he wake up beside you one morning and regret this night?

Robb is pulled out of his thoughts by Catelyn mouthing something at him from a distance. He can't make it out, but she forms a smile and nods encouragingly, so he mirrors her expression and plasters a smile on his lips.

Before long, two figures begin walking down the cleared path towards him. At first, you're shrouded by shadows and the bodies of some of the guests on either side of the aisle. When you come into full view, your arm is interlocked with your father's as you stare straight ahead.

For a moment, Robb wonders if you see him standing underneath the Weirwood tree, but just as the thought crosses his mind, your gaze falls on him.

As soon as he locks eyes with you, his smile drops. Almost immediately his jaw clenches and his breath catches in his throat. It's a purely uncontrollable reaction, but it happens and Robb finds it strange.

The glistening of the silver on your dress, the unusual braids in your hair...and the look in your eyes when they meet his. It's a look that mirrors how he feels.

He hasn’t been so struck by a woman’s appearance in some time, but the eyes don’t lie, and it is undeniable that on this night, you look beautiful.

As you approach, Robb steps forward, his hands clasped behind him, “Who comes before the gods?”

“Y/N of House Myrrton comes here to be wed. A woman grown and flowered, trueborn and noble. She comes to beg the blessings of the gods.”

Lord Cillian seems unsure when he speaks. Robb doesn't know whether the uncertainty in his tone is due to being unfamiliar with these words, or hesitant about this whole affair.

“Who comes to claim her?”

Robb clears his throat as discreetly as he can before lifting his chin.

“Robb of House Stark, Lord of Winterfell and King in the North. I claim her,” he announces, “Who gives her?”

“Cillian of House Myrrton, her father.”

Robb watches as Lord Cillian's tone softens when he speaks to you, “Lady Y/N, will you take this man?”

Robb grows anxious as you seem to hesitate before answering, then, like you'd been snapped out of a trance, you whisper something to yourself. His brows furrow as he questions whether you've given the answer they're all waiting for.

Before he has a chance to ask, you look him square in the eye and answer, "I take this man."

Robb is slightly intimidated by the intensity and decisiveness in your gaze. He holds his hand out to you and waits until you slip your hands into his before guiding you towards the heart tree.

As he drops to his knees at the base of the tree, the rest of the world melts away, and it's just him and the gods. But he can't seem to find any words for them.

He has uttered the same prayers over a thousand times in the last year. That his sisters will return home safely and those involved in his father's murder will be brought to justice. None have been answered yet. Still, he whispers the prayer again, choosing to have faith in the gods.

He raises his head only to find that yours is still bowed, your eyes closed. There's a desperation in your posture that makes that feeling of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach again. So, he bows his head yet again and asks the gods for one more thing; that the two of you find peace in this arrangement, in whatever form that takes.

You rise to your feet together and Robb immediately steps closer to you, eager to be done with this ceremony. He removes the maiden cloak that shrouds you and hands it to the man standing behind him, swapping it for the Stark cloak.

As he brushes your hair over your shoulder and out of the way, an unfamiliar scent wafts up his nose, warming his whole body. It’s earthy and spicy, yet sweet – unlike anything he’s ever smelled before. The kind of scent that would be overpowering most times, but you’ve clearly applied just enough to be inviting.

He inhales deeply before resuming with his task.

When you turn to face him, the Stark cloak now shrouding you, Robb suddenly feels the weight on his shoulders grow heavier. He was never one to think about marriage when he was young. Still, he never expected to feel so devoid of any love towards his wife. To look at her and see nothing but yet another burden.

He holds out his arm to you and leads you out of the godswood, the whole time questioning what he could have done to offend the gods and be cursed with such a life.

***

Why isn't she eating?

Robb has been kept entertained for most of the night by his bannermen – it's hard not to be when they're all drunk and feasting. But every time he glances in your direction, he finds you sullen and staring into space, and the thought returns.

Why isn't she eating?

He's noticed it since you arrived at Winterfell. You rarely join them for any meals, and when you do, your plate remains untouched. At the engagement feast, you spent most of the time playing around with your food, but he can't recall seeing you eat any of it. It didn't concern him at the time, but he's finding it strange now so he decides to speak up.

"You haven't touched your stew."

Oddly, you jump at the sound of his voice. He sees confusion in your eyes when you turn to look at him, so he nods to your bowl to reiterate his statement.

"I, um...I'm not very hungry."

It's the first time since the day he met you that you have sounded unsure of your own words. The stutter and the way you avoid his eyes – he knows that you are hiding something.

He leans closer to you in an effort keep the conversation private. "My mother told me that you were sick earlier," he wonders if the mild concern he's feeling is evident in his voice, "Did you have anything to eat after?"

Robb is shocked when you shake your head no.

"Then surely you must be hungry?"

Again, Robb is baffled when you simply shrug in response. He can't read you at all – not that he has ever been able to. In all honesty, it is one of the most frustrating things about you. How is he supposed to be a husband to a stone wall?

Still, he knows that any person who has no food in their stomach must be hungry, whether you confess to it or not. He reaches for a bowl of fruit on his side of the table and places it in front of you. You may dislike the Northern food, but even a man who has enjoyed an entire feast would not say no to a juicy fig.

"You should have some, if you like," he nods to the bowl, but your expression remains unsure. "I wouldn't want my new bride starving herself on the first night," he teases you in an attempt to ease your apparent discomfort.

That seems to do the trick as he notices the glimmer of a smile – a genuine one – on your lips. Satisfied, he takes an apple from the bowl and leans back in his chair, watching you finally reach for something to eat.

He notices how carefully you inspect every fruit, discarding the bruised ones. He's not even sure you realise you're doing it. You have the same look on your face that you did when you walked towards him in the godswood, just before he caught your gaze – in a trance.

"I should've said it earlier, but you look beautiful tonight."

As soon as the words leave his lips, he questions whether he should've said it at all. He meant it, of course, but not in the way that it might come across. His only intention is to be kind. You're his wife now after all.

"Thank you," you smile, though Robb sees the way your brows furrow ever so slightly in confusion, "You look very handsome as well."

You look away before he can even respond and the conversation ends there.

The festivities continue as expected with singing, dancing, and arguments that arise and resolve themselves within seconds. Some of the men tell their most entertaining stories of battle, and Robb is happy to see you laughing at some of their jokes.

Drunk and exhausted, Robb is just about ready to retire for the evening when he hears the words he's been dreading all night.

"It's time for the bedding ceremony!"

In seconds, the women seated nearest to the High Table are on their feet and pulling him towards them. They paw at him, doing their best to undress him as they march him through the Great Hall and towards his bedchambers. He can't discern what is going on through the cheers, the laughter and the comments – it's all too much. By the time the girls arrive with him at his chambers, all they have managed to remove is his tunic.

"Be gentle with the poor girl," one of the women winks as she leaves the room.

Before long, he hears more bellowing laughter and jeering coming down the hall. The men carrying you lower you to the ground at the bedroom doors and push you in before making a swift exit.

Seeing you almost completely undressed and shrinking into yourself, Robb suddenly feels guilty again. The bedding may have simply been an annoyance to him, but it was clearly more than that for you. He shouldn't have let it happen.

He watches as you awkwardly look around the room, avoiding looking in his direction. Robb doesn't move a muscle, fearing that you're seconds away from dashing out of the room.

Without any warning, you spin on your heel and turn your back to him. The sudden action makes Robb jump, but still, he makes no move to approach you.

He's frozen in a way he's never been before, not even before his first battle. Sweat begins to form at his hairline as he wipes his clammy palms on his trousers. He tries to convince himself that it's the heat from the fire burning that's causing this and not his nerves.

He takes a step forward, wanting to reassure you that he won't touch you, even if it's what is expected of you, but the words seem pointless when you lift a hand and lower the strap of your chemise. You do it slowly, and Robb can't tell if this is hesitation or some kind of seduction. Either way, he doesn't know how to respond.

Once the straps come off, the gown slips and reveals what's hidden underneath.

Robb lets out a gasp.

Instantly, he regrets it, knowing he's given the wrong reaction. As you rush to pull the straps back on, Robb struggles to digest what he's seen. Three long and thick scars – one starting from the nape of your neck – jagged and stretching down your back. The wounds look mostly healed, but they can't be more than a few months old. He doesn't have to think about it to know exactly where they came from.

Joffrey.

That is all the proof he needs to confirm the rumours were true. And worse, he fears that this isn't the worst of it. Those scars could've been made by anything from a knife to a whip. The thought of someone doing that to you makes him feel sick.

Slowly, you turn around to face him. He can tell that you're hurt by his reaction, but he can't bring himself to comfort you. He doesn't know how. Just as he thinks you're about to scold him like you've done before, you do the unexpected and begin to approach.

Once again he freezes, and when you stop right in front of him, Robb is unsure what he's supposed to do. You're looking into his eyes like you're searching for something, but he doesn't want to mistake your intentions for anything more.

That doesn't matter because those intentions are made clear when you lean in and press your lips against his.

It's...different.

Your lips are soft, and your scent – that scent. For a brief moment it makes him forget where he is, who you are, and he leans in, arms sliding around your waist. But when your arms wrap around his neck, he misses something.

Elyse. The way her fingers would find their way into his curls.

That's all it takes to snap back to reality. This isn't her. And all of a sudden, she's the only thing on his mind. Her dark hair, her kind smile. The memory of her forms a lump in his throat.

He's tried. This whole night he's tried to put her out of his mind, but even now in what should be the most intimate moment between a man and his wife, Elyse is the only woman he can think about. The guilt returns.

Is that all this marriage will ever be? Constantly feeling guilt and shame whenever he looks at you, knowing Elyse is the only person who will ever occupy his heart?

He feels a wetness on his cheeks and salt on his tongue.

Is she crying?

“Wait, wait. Stop,” Robb suddenly says as he pulls away from you, your cheeks stained with tears, “Are you alright?”

You look at him like you're confused. “What do you mean? I’m fine.”

He raises a thumb to your cheek and wipes away a tear. "You're crying," he says, almost dumbfounded.

The second he says it, you gasp and quickly wipe your cheeks in embarrassment. Robb simply watches in disbelief. You plaster a smile on your lips as you continue wiping away the tears that seem to be beyond your control. You're stumbling, fighting to keep up that stone wall that Robb has been so desperate to see beyond.

“Ignore me,” you chuckle nervously, “My emotions sometimes get the better of me.”

“You don’t have to pretend.”

“I do if I’m to have even a smidgen of comfort tonight.” You're smiling, but there's pain in your voice where you're trying to convey conviction.

Robb softens as he cocks his head to the side and looks at you, “Y/N…we’re not obligated to do anything tonight.”

“What?” your eyes widen ever so slightly, a glimmer of hope appearing.

He shakes his head and turns his gaze to the bed. “You don’t want to do it,” he says, “And without meaning any offense to you, I don’t want to do this either.”

In truth, he can't even entertain the thought of being with anyone but Elyse. Not that he intends to confess that to you.

A sigh of relief escapes his lips once the weight of the consummation is lifted from his shoulders.

“What should we do then?” you ask after a moment, “Shall we return to the feast?”

Robb has been awake since first light. He can't think of anything worse. “It has been a long day for me," he yawns and stretches his muscles, "So unless you desperately want to return to the festivities, I would like to turn in for the night.”

He walks to the bed and collapses on top of it like a sack of flour. The room grows. dimmer as you go around the room blowing out the candles, leaving only the fire from the hearth to illuminate the room.

You climb into the bed on the other side of him and turn your back to him. He knows you're still not used to the Northern cold, yet you make no move to adjust the blanket despite the fact that it is barely covering your body.

Without a word, he lifts himself off the blanket and slips under it so that there's enough for you. Then he tucks a hand under his head and lets his eyes flutter closed.

“I had my own Elyse.”

His eyes snap right back open.

He turns his head to face you even though you can't see him, shocked beyond belief and rendered speechless.

“He was an armourer I met simply by chance,” you continue, “He was my comfort and my peace during the hardest period of my life. And I loved him for it.”

Just like that, everything makes sense. Your callousness about his feelings for Elyse. The words you threw so casually in his face.

"You're not the first to have loved and lost. You won't be the last."

At the time he knew you were speaking from experience, but he never expected a confession.

He quickly turns his gaze to the ceiling when he realises that you're turning to face him.

“Was it like that for you?”

The memory of the days after his father's death wash over him like a wave. Never had he ever felt such deep sorrow. It burrowed into his bones like a disease, and he never thought he would be rid of that pain.

Not until Elyse.

When he turns back to you, your eyes are staring deep into his. The fire from the hearth is casting a warm glow over your face, but it's the moonlight from the open window just above your heads that is reflected in your eyes. His gaze lingers for a moment before he answers.

“Yes,” he admits, “Elyse and I…After my father’s death is when we grew close.”

You nod and look down at the sheets.

“When I left King’s Landing, I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to him,” you whisper, voice trembling, “I wanted to thank him for making me happy after everything that happened.”

Robb’s eyes stay on you, but not once does he speak. He doesn't know which is worse; having to see the person you love everyday, knowing you can never be with her, or never getting the chance to even say goodbye.

He looks at you and knows that your heart is no more available than his own. Even though you don't say it, it's clear as day in your eyes – you haven't let go of your armourer, and you probably never will.

Without saying any more, you turn to face the other way, whispering a quick, “Goodnight.”

This is the rest of his life, he realises. A wife who will forever be just out of arms' reach, and the woman he loves never to be his again. An undoubtedly cursed existence. One he can do nothing about.

Ignoring the hollow feeling in his chest, he turns to face away from you.

“Sleep well.”

***

SNEAK PEEK FOR ONE OF THE FUTURE CHAPTERS:

“I’m not happy, and I’m not content.”

“Happiness and contentment are a luxury most of us do not get to enjoy," he snaps.

“Some people deserve it. After all they’ve been through.”

Robb scoffs and turns to you. “We’ve all been through terrible things. You’re not the only one.”

“I know. I know the tragedy you’ve endured,” you climb off the bed and walk towards him slowly, “Even now I see how much burden you carry on your shoulders.”

You take his hand in yours and look into his eyes, “Don’t you owe it to yourself to try and find any happiness?”

Robb’s gaze lingers as he considers it for a moment. A brief moment. Then he snatches his hand from hers and heads for the door.

You're shocked by this, and suddenly a burning anger begins to swell in her chest. A rage that felt a lot like hatred. Hatred because of how selfish and stubborn he was being.

“I know you’ve heard the rumours about Joffrey and I,” he freezes in his steps as you speak, “Yet you’ve never asked me about them.”

Slowly, you walk towards him and stand in front of him, blocking the door. “You’ve also seen the scars on my body — scars that not even my parents have seen. And you never asked me about those either.”

You cock your head to the side as you look into his avoiding eyes. “Why is that?” you ask in a genuine tone, “Do you not want to know? Or are you afraid to know?”

He avoids your eyes as you wait for him to speak, to say anything. But he never does.

“You won’t ask?" you raise a brow, "Very well. Then I shall ask you a question of my own.”

“Have you ever been violated?” you ask through gritted teeth, “And I don’t mean someone taking your home or your father away from you, I mean personally violated. To have everything stripped away, to be broken down into a shell of nothingness. No fight, no dignity, no will…to do anything.”

You stand on your toes and lean forward until your shaky breath is fanning his face and your rage-filled eyes are burning into his, “That is what Joffrey did to me.”

*

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[xoxo-sarah]

I Wanna Be Yours || Part 3

Part 2 | part 4

↝a/n: We're getting closer to the kiss!! I'm so excited! I've had the kiss written for 2 chapters. Also I'm so confused on how to spell Vickie's name. I had been writing Vicky but it looked wrong so I looked it up and it's apparently Vickie. I don't care enough to fix it with my other work so ignore it.

↝pairing:Robin Buckley x fem!Wheeler!reader

↝Warning: mention of death, the graphic details of what Eddie said with Chrissy's death, not proof read. Possible spoilers if you still haven't watched season 4, everything that happens in stranger things, slow burn, Vickie doesn't exist here, not because I don't like her, but because it's easier to write for Robin when she's not madly in love with another chick.

↝⎙ 7.11.23

Italic is memories

“The way he looked at you!” Chrissy continued to gush, kicking her feet in a 'schoolgirl' way. She stared up at you with her head in her hands, laying on her stomach. Homework was long forgotten.

“He looks at everyone like that.” Rolling your eyes, you turned back to your dresser, looking in the top drawer for a certain shirt you were meant to of wore the day before. You were pretty sure Nancy had stolen it at this point. Wouldn't have been the first shirt that had just wound up missing just for you to see in either in Nancy's clothes basket or on her. “I saw him look at Mrs. O'Relle and I thought he was going to combust. He's just a naturally flirty guy. I don't even think he realizes it most of the time."

"Oh, okay. Yeah." With her tone and the smile on her face, it was obvious she didn't believe a word you said.

After closing the drawer harder than you meant to, you turned, glaring at the girl. "Anyway...i don't like him."

You regretted the way you said 'him' as soon as it rolled off your tongue. But you tried to play it off cool. However, she didn't.

"So there's another guy!" You were quick to shush her, with it being night and Holly had already been put to bed and the fact you did not want your parents or siblings knowing anything about your love life. "Sorry." She moved to sit up, watching as you sat on the edge of the mattress. "So...?"

"So what?"

"What's so special about this guy?" She said it as if you were stupid for asking.

"Nothing. Well, not like-" Closing your mouth, you couldn't find the words. Your eyes danced around your room, taking in the tacky paint from your childhood that you have yet to cover up. "He's different." No matter how much she tried for you to meet her eye, yours stayed glued to the wall In front of you.

After a few moments of silence, you glanced over, her face telling you to continue. Her smile was so sweet, happy for you.

"He's nice." She. She's nice. But Chrissy didn't need to know that. This is the first time you've told her about anyone you have ever fancied in the 5 years you two have been the best of friends. She was over the moon. "He's smart. He looks good in blue or green." Chrissy noticed the way your lip twitched into a small smile at the thought of this mystery 'man'.

"What's he look like?"

"Light brown hair, blue eyes." You began fiddling with your night shirt. "Tall. Taller than me, at least. Uh," You glanced back over, not wanting to be telling her this anymore. Sure, you've wanted to tell someone how you felt, how a girl you barely talk to could make you feel all kinds of giddy without meaning to. But this was too much. "Actually, I don't want to talk about this anymore. If you don't mind."

Before she could reply, you clicked your lamp off, leaving you to get under the blankets in the dark.

Robin's nice. She's smart. She looks good in blue or green. She had light-brown hair and pretty blue eyes. She is taller than you. She is beautiful. She is someone you couldn't even admit to liking to your closest friend.

You know Chrissy would never judge you or make you feel less than, but it was just different. It always would be. Sadly.

"He sounds nice, like someone you should admit your feelings to." Chrissy spoke up after a moment of silence, of which you had stared above you, darkness blocking the color of the ceiling. You nearly scoffed at her words. But you settled on humming in agreement, or maybe just to satisfy her.

•••••

"Her body just, like, lifted up in the air and, uh..and she just hung there In the air." You all but flinched as Eddie explained what had happened, more in detail than what Max had explained, obviously. Robin glanced at you ever so often, seeing you winch, wanting nothing more than to reach out and cover your ears or make Eddie stop talking. But they needed to know this, what had happened and maybe figure out why and what caused it. Because it certainly wasn't him.

You glanced up for a split second, catching Robin's concerned eyes. She held the eye contact for a few seconds before looking back at Eddie, who was distraught and certainly didn't know what to do and where to go from here.

•••••

"Shh!" You tried to steady a giggling Chrissy. She kept moving and wobbling, making it hard to walk straight when you, yourself were drunk. You really didn't want your parents hearing you stumbling through the house.

"Tonight was so fun!" She whispered yelled, getting a look from you before you shushed her again. You tried to help her up the stairs, cringing when she'd giggle again or the stairs would creak.

Today had been a close game, making everyone stressed, which made tonight the night where everyone had gotten drunk in a close celebration. You and Chrissy weren't people to drink, mostly because you were underage, but as said before, today was stressful. Maybe Chrissy had gotten a little too drunk. This was the first time, however. She's never one to take more than a few sips, out of the bitter taste that she hated. She would've probably drunk more if you hadn't told her it was time to go.

Finally up the stairs, you turned her body towards your room, holding your breath before you tried to guide her in the darkness.

Hearing a door creak open, you froze. Turning slightly, you saw Nancy looking at you with a disappointed mom face. She rolled her eyes before closing the door. You went back to your friend, shushing her again when she decided almost tripping over air was hilarious. She's definitely a giggle drunk.

Opening your door, you gently pushed her in. She dropped on your bed, face first, most likely smearing her makeup on your duvet.

Sighing, you went through your drawer, before throwing a big shirt at her. She flipped over, looking at the shirt as you went to the connected bathroom to change.

Walking out, you saw she had changed and was already in under the blanket.

She motioned for you to hurry, bringing the blanket up more. "Tonight was so fun." She repeated.

You hummed, getting under the blanket.

She continued talking. "Robin seems nice."

"Mhm."

"You two seem to be getting close."

"Yeah, we work together in, like, 2 classes. She's smart."

"Smart and nice."

"Yep." You flipped over, hiding the slight blush from talking about Robin. Not like it was much use, with how dark it was.

"Smart, nice, brown hair, blue eyes. She's taller than you. OH MY GOD." She jumped up, eyes wide.

You quickly turned, shushing her yet again, trying to get her to lay back down.

"She's just like your crush!" She whispered yelled, again, not really whispering.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, just lay back down."

"That's so crazy." She began to lay back down.

After a few moments, she spoke up again. You had to stop yourself from huffing, after nearly going to sleep.

"Y/n?"

"Yes, Chrissy?"

"Is Robin your crush?" You felt as if your heart fell out of your ass.

"No, why would you think that?" You stayed looking away from her, stretching your hands out so they'd stop shaking.

"She's the exact description of your crush. I mean, it makes sense. You have been hanging out-"

"We're partners in class-"

She continued, "You act different around her."

"Only because I don't really know her like I know you-"

"It's okay. I promise."

You turned, knowing she's looking back at you. You feel like you could cry right now.

"Chrissy, please go to sleep." You whispered, closing your eyes.

"Okay!" She turned, getting comfortable before her snores started not even 3 minutes later.

Good God.

•••••

"And her bones-" Eddie made a sound, cringing, hating how it all replayed in his head. "Her bones started to snap."

You stood from where you had squatted, feeling like you were getting strangled by air itself. Rubbing against your chin, you didn't know whether to keep listening or step outside, where the cool night air might make you feel better. Eddie continued, "Her eyes, man."

Turning, you stepped over the other people and the mess of the shed floor, not really giving yourself time to grab your flashlight. "It-it was like there was something, like, inside her head, pulling."

The door slammed closed behind you. The cool air fanned against your face, feeling the complete opposite of the frantic hot breaths making your lips and hands tremble.

After a few moments, the door creaked open, a flashlight shining around until it shined on you.

"Dustin's telling Eddie everything." Robin finally spoke after a moment. You simply nodded, looking into the nothingness of the night. "They said something about Vecna's Curse?" It sounded more oof a question than a statement, honestly.

"The D&D dude?" She shrugged, not really knowing, herself. "Oh my- if I hear one more thing about that stupid game...I'm actually going to lose my mind." She dryly chuckled, pointing the flashlight around the shed, noting how scary it looked with all the trees around. "It's getting chilly, let's see what they're doing for the night." Her hand skimmed the tin door, looking at you to follow her. She watched you shakingly inhale before stepping behind, following her back in. She didn't really know what else to do than send a sympathetic smile before turning around, opening the door.

•••••

"I'm scared!" You wailed, utterly done with this world at the moment. You really didn't care if you sounded like every teenager going through it.

Chrissy looked at you with so much question, not prying question. She wanted so dearly to hear you, to know how you're feeling and what's making you feel that way.

This wasn't how she pictured the conversation going. She innocently asked about Robin and how she was. But somehow it escalated to her telling you to just tell her how you felt, how you longed to be able to touch her soft skin, tell her all the things you have held back all this time.

"Why?"

"Why?" immediately you felt bad for raising your voice when Chrissy's own voiced wasn't. Hers was soft, genuine. "I can't just tell her."

She wasn't oblivious, she knew why you couldn't openly express your love for someone, not like she could with Jason. "You don't have to kiss in public, just...tell her. She could feel the same-"

"Or she couldn't. And next thing you know, I'm the laughing stock of Hawkins. People can be cruel, Chrissy." Your voice was strained, as was your head pounding. "I just don't want to talk about it."

Although Chrissy wanted nothing more for you to open up to her, she let off for the time being. Maybe she felt guilty for always coming to you when something is a slight convenience to her. Or maybe she felt hurt that she would tell you everything, while you were so closed off. It made her think that you didn't trust her like she trusted you.

•••••

"Jesus!" Dustin kicked the door to the shed open, startling Eddie.

"Delivery service." The kid tried to lighten the mood, seeing his friend so on edge.

It was disgusting how Eddie was stuffing his mouth with food, but you get it. He hadn't eaten since the day before, and probably heaved that up.

"So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news." Dustin started. "How do you prefer it?"

"Bad news first, always."

"Alright bad news." Dustin continued. You couldn't help the yawn that made you cover your mouth, turning to face the water that looked so calm. "We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they're defiantly looking for you. Also they're uh,"

"They're pretty convinced you killed Chrissy." Eddie turned to look at you as you turned your eyes away from the open view.

"Like, 100% kind of convinced." Max spoke up from where she sat behind you.

Eddie turned back to his friend, awaiting the supposed 'good news'. "And the good news?"

"You name hasn't gone public yet." Both you and Eddie turned to Robin, both for entirely different reasons. Her eyes fell down to yours for a split second, before returning to Eddie's curious ones. "But if we found out about you, it's a matter of time before other do too and, once this gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you."

"Hunt the freak, right?"

"Exactly."

"Shit."

"So," Dustin spoke up again, "Before that happens, we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence." The way he spoke, it seemed like the easiest thing to do in the whole wide world.

"That's all, Dustin? That's all?" Sarcasm dripped from Eddie's words like vemon.

"Yeah, no, that's pretty much it."

"Listen, Eddie." Once again, you attention was on Robin.

Her hair looked pretty today.

"I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional," You couldn't help watch her hands as she waved them around. "But we've actually been through this kind of thing before. I mean, they have a...few times, and i have once. Mine was more human-flesh-based, and theirs was more smoke-related." She sighed, catching herself rambling. "But bottom line is, collectively, I really feel we got this."

Even as Steve began talking, you stayed looking at her, maybe longer than you should have because she glanced back down. "We usually rely on this girl who has super powers. But uh those went bye-bye, so..."

Robin spoke, "So we're technically in more of the-"

"Kinda-" Steve waved around.

"Brainstorming phase." Max concluded.

"Brainstorming." Steve snapped his fingers at her.

Eddie looked the most unsure of something you've ever seen somebody.

Dustin began sputtering, his voice going up an octave. "There...there's nothing to worry about."

Steve scoffed, nodding along with Dustin. Eddie titled his head at them.

"Eddie, look." He turned to you, looking for some kind of help here. "You don't really have a choice." You didn't mean for the words to come out as harsh as they did, but with the lack of sleep and the headache that was soon to be coming, you really didn't feel like apologizing, atleast not right now.

Sirens rang out, causing everyone to panic and rush forward towards Eddie.

"Tarp." Robin pointed at the blue tarp. "Tarp. Tarp." Eddie rushed to hide back under the thing he had been hiding under all night.

You all ran towards the window, watching as cop cars and an ambulance flew past.

"Nancy." You were the first out of the car when Steve parked, nearly climbing over Robin in doing so. Nancy looked out of it, not know her right from left, up from down. She watched the car pull up, looking as if she was about to burst out in tears any second.

You held your sister in your arms, rubbing your hand up and down her back, trying to ease her emotions from your spot beside her.

"So, you're saying that this thing that killed Fred and Chrissy, it's from the Upside Down?"

"If the shoe fits." Steve responded to Nancy.

"Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell or a curse." Dustin wasn't quite sure of anything, at this point. "Now, whether or not he's doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just loves killing teens, we don't know."

Nancy shrugged your arms off of her, causing a frown to form on your face. But you didn't push it. Instead, you folded your arms over your chest, pushing another yawn down.

Max spoke up, "All we know is this is something different. Something new."

"Doesn't make sense." Nancy stated. Of course it doesn't make sense, nothing has for the past few years.

"It's only a theory."

"No, Fred and Chrissy don't make sense. I mean, why them?"

"Maybe they were at the wrong place at the wrong time." Dustin countered, "They were both at the game."

"And near the trailer park."

"..."

"We're at the trailer park." You and Steve spoke in unison, looked at each other, uneasy.

"Uh, should we maybe not be here?"

Everyone glanced around, uncomfortable.

"There is something about this place."

"Let's go." You stood, kicking your legs out from the table.

Yet, no one followed.

"Fred started acting weird the second we got here."

"Then let's leave." You urged them to get up, maybe run to the car and get the hell out of here.

"Acting weird as in...?" Robin questioned, watching as you looked around, a pit in your stomach.

"Scared, on edge, upset."

"Max said Chrissy was upset too."

"Yeah, but not here." Max stated, remembering back to the bathroom. She turned to you, knowing you said she'd been acting weird around you too.

"We can actually talk about this in the car."

Max continued, "She was crying in the bathroom at school."

Looking away from everyone, you nearly jumped out of your skin when Robin touched your arm, trying to ease your nerves. Your face grew red, from the scare, of course. Not from her skin touching yours. Not one bit.

"Serial killers stalk their prey before they strike, right?" You gawked at her, "So maybe Fred and Chrissy saw this vecman-"

"Vecna." Dustin quickly corrected.

"Dunno about you guys, but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to somebody."

"Maybe they did." Max states, "I saw Chrissy leaving Ms. Kelley's office. If you saw a monster, you wouldn't go to the police. They'd never believe you."

To be fair, if you hadn't seen it multiple times in real life, you wouldn't believe anyone either. Unless it was Chrissy.

"But you might go to your-"

"Your shrink."

Max's nod was enough for you to begin walking back to the car, knowing they were going to do the same. The faster you were out of this trailer park, the better.

"Woah, woah, woah, Nance. Nance!" Looking back, you watched Steve go after Nancy, seeing her walking away from his car. "Nance, where are you going?"

"Oh, there's just something I want to check out first." She continued to walk backwards.

"Something you wanna share with us?" Dustine threw his arms open in question.

"Nancy?" You questioned her, not quite sure what was going through her brain, but you knew it was moving too fast right now.

"I don't want to waste your time. It's a real shot in the dark."

"Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind? Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the loose? No, it's too dangerious. You need," He glanced back at the rest of us, before looking back at her. "You need someone to..." He trailed off before turning and throwing his keys at Robin. "Here, i'll stick with Nance, alright. You guys take the car, check out the shrink."

"I don't think you want me driving your car."

"Why?"

"I don't have a license."

"Why don't you have a license?" He looked utter flabbergasted, as if he hadn't been driving her around everywhere.

"I'm poor."

Steve turned to you, getting a frantic shake of your head.

"Absolutely not." It was too nerve wracking for you. The first time you tried driving, you nearly had a panic attack and your mother had to calm you down from the passenger seat.

"I can drive." Max spoke up, nearly making Steve have an aneurysm. You could practically see memories of before flashing behind his eyes, causing you to hide your smile.

He automatically pointed at her, "No! No. Never again. Please. Anyone but you. No."

Dustin shrugged, suggesting himself. "No chance." Steve sighed, "No."

"C'mon."

"Alright, okay. This is stupid." Robin grabbed a flashlight out of Dustin's bag, walking towards Steve and dropping his keys back in his hands. "Us ladies will stick together." She turned, grabbing your arm and walking to Nancy. She gave you a questioning look, asking if you wanted to go with them. You slightly smiled, grabbing a flashlight out of the bag next, as Robin continued to poke fun at Steve. "Unless you think we need you to protect us."

Steve sighed.

Robin smiled at him as he shook his head, before turning to walk towards Nancy's car.

"Be careful!" He called out, watching as you got into the car.

"Just gonna stand there and gawk?"

"Shut up."

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

[iamamythologicalcreature]

Pitch Manor Progress (which is sort of like Six Sentence Sunday but also not)

It's still Sunday for five more minutes, here. SO....

Okay, I haven't written anything on the Haunting of Simon Snow in awhile. But I have been working on my floor plan for Pitch Manor, which is more than tangentially related to the potential progress of that fic. And today's a rough one for me, so I'm going to post about it like it's progress so I might feel a tad better. Ahem.

OKAY. SO. I've been working on a floor plan for Pitch Manor for... pretty much forever and a day. I ran into trouble when I was writing chapter 2 of Haunting and Simon (Construction Worker!Simon) began to describe the house. I realized... I had no idea what he was describing.

(Warning, there is a long winded geeky ramble ahead. It's just how I do things. Ahem.)

What was supposed to be a quick "let's find a floor plan that I can just copy with some minor adjustments" project has since turned into my special interest project. As a history nerd, that means a lot of research, looking at dozens of floor plans for other houses ranging in origination from the 16th century to the 20th (and probably a few older than even that, since a ton of religious buildings were repurposed into estates. Think Downton *Abbey*.)

But this past week, I feel I've really pushed through a lot of the issues I kept running into. (I've ridiculously been trying to make it as true to the descriptions in Carry On as possible, and something that fits the purposes of my fic, which of course I have envisioned in many, sometimes incompatible, ways.) I've had to make some "this or that, you can't have both" choices, but I'm finally happy with the basic shape and layout.

Whew.

Just for funsies, here's a cross section snippet of my floor plan WIP. It's pretty messy still, but I'm still excited LOL

And (finally), instead of six sentences, I will instead offer you all six tidbits of information about Pitch Manor, as I've envisioned it:

There are four (4!) different sitting rooms. Because the aristocracy just loved their sitting rooms. (Parlor, Withdrawing room, Drawing room, and Reception/Receiving room.)

There is a ballroom. Try and stop me.

The original manor house was built in the 17th century, and has been refurbished and updated a few times.

The most extensive refurbishment happened in the 19th century, which is how it gained its current stylings. (Baz is a freaking troll and I love him for it. The most popular architectural style in the Victorian era was "Gothic Revival." "It's not Gothic; it's Victorian." Hah.)

Some rooms were added on during the Victorian refurbishment, including a Smoking room. They were very popular at that time.

The largest room in the house isn't the ballroom. It's the library. (It's two stories. Try and stop me.)

(I do hope to release the floorplans into the fandom wild after they're complete, in case anyone else wants to make use of them.)

I want to ramble more. But it's almost midnight. Sooo.... Gratitude and hellos under the cut!

Thank you to @blackberrysummerblog, @shrekgogurt, @rimeswithpurple, @thewholelemon, @monbons,

and @cutestkilla for the tags. I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone is working on!

Thank you also to those of you who have willingly (I hope) listened to me ramble on about this damned project of mine for ages. Because boy howdy, do I ramble. @cutestkilla, @hushed-chorus, @artsyunderstudy, @youarenevertooold, @ic3-que3n,

@best--dress, @monbons, and @mooncello. It's good there are a few of you, that way no single poor soul has to bear the full weight of my obsession special interest. (If anyone reading this actually wants to join these ranks, hit me up on Discord XD)

Thanks also to everyone that has tagged me even when it's been ages in between progress posts from me. I appreciate being kept in the loop on what you all are up to creatively!

Hellos and howdies to @noblecorgi @bookish-bogwitch @that-disabled-princess @bazzybelle @messofthejess

@imagineacoolusername @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @prettygoododds @emeryhall @ileadacharmedlife

@valeffelees @fiend-for-culture @bubble-gumhead @brilla-brilla-estrellita @aristocratic-otter

@j-nipper-95 @whatevertheweather @ivelovedhimthroughworse @drowninginships @alexalexinii

@facewithoutheart @angelsfalling16

[kenny-the-ken]

Y O U + M E |Pt 3|

A LOT OF WARNINGS WITH THIS ONE!!!! ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS AND IN HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE!! Loosely based on the Netflix show YOU, if y'all have seen it,,, then you know what Kenny's gonna do. If you haven't seen it,,, strap yourselves in, it's a lot!! Yandre Kenny, strong language, sexual content, violence, mentions of blood, gore, stalking, obsession and narcissistic thinking, so please beware!! I warned y'all!!

ALSO!!! A lot of this fic is written as Kenny's internal monologue and from his perspective so bare that in mind!!

Spring break. The literal bane of my existence. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love parties, I've taken more drugs than most people I know, excluding my parents of course, but Spring Break in the US was known for crazy parties, girls half naked in bikinis, guys chugging 2% alcohol content beers thinking that they're the shit, and copious amounts of drugs.

I don't care about any of that though, no, not at all, which you may be extremely shocked to hear, the only thing I cared about was, what were you doing for spring break?

Were you going to any parties? Were you meeting any friends, old or new? Were you planning to show yourself off in a tiny bikini, not that I'm complaining, but I'd rather see you like that alone, without other men's wondering eyes glaring at you as if you're a piece of meat. I can promise you y/n, that would not end well for anyone involved.

I had texted you this morning, like we do every morning. We fucked but after that it felt like we drifted apart. Or rather, you drifted from me. So here I sit, in my bathroom, cock in hand with my face buried in your used panties that I'd stolen from a while back, I assumed you didn't miss them much, and anyway, they were currently in use.

I'd give anything for another taste, your lips were soft, plumped, and oh so red from how aggressive I can be, your h/c cascaded perfectly down your back, and your breasts.

"Fuck." I knew thinking about you like this would make me cum faster, and that's exactly what I wanted, for reasons you'll find out soon enough.

Your pierced nipples and how perfectly shaped they were, your ass was round and perfect for slapping when you needed taught a lesson. Your hips were perfect for gripping, and oh how I'd grip your hips and fuck myself deeper and deeper and shit.

And just like that, here I am, hand covered in my own jizz, cock twitching between my legs and your panties still in my hand.

I have a box, I keep it under lock and key behind my wardrobe, just some little souvenirs, your panties, some nude Polaroids I'd found of you in your bedroom. Oh yeah, and one of Clyde's teeth. Just to remember him by.

You see, although we weren't dating, that didn't mean that you weren't in need of protection, you see, I'd overheard Clyde chatting to Jimmy about how he was thinking of asking you on a date. Now, I've known Clyde for a long time, he uses women like they're nothing, fucks 'em, leaves 'em.

What did you expect me to do? I mean, I did this for you! He was going to take advantage of your kindness and use you for his own sexual gratification and desires and then throw you away like you're worthless, and you are far from worthless. I'd kiss your feet as you walked the earth if you'd let me, oh how I'd worship you, like you deserve to be.

It wasn't too hard to kill Clyde, you see, when you've been known as a fuck boy before, which I unfortunately have been, other fuck boys, they tend to trust you more. So Clyde was pretty easy to reel in. I told him the truth, how I was working on an English project with you and I fucked you in your bedroom, and Clyde was all over that shit like a dog on heat. He was so focussed on what he was planning to text to you, obviously with my keen eye proof reading it for him, he was too distracted to notice me coming behind him with a brick. He only realised just as it was too late, sorry dude, your skull's caved in.

We needn't worry about the details of where his body is, let's just say... I've taken care of it. And tonight was our date, and also the first night of spring break, I would ask you what you were up to, and of course I wouldn't demand to come, unless you chose to invite me, no, I would just hang out in background, you won't even notice that I'm there. And I dare anyone to try anything, they would be dead men walking.

It didn't take long for the time of our date to roll around, and I stood on your doorstep, politely knocking on your door a few times, before smiling as the door cracked open.

You were breathtaking. I'd worked my ass off at City Wok to be able to afford to take you out to dinner, and my god, no food could ever look as delicious as you looked right now. Your tits, your hips, your ass, your legs, your hair, your face, everything! We were destined to be together, and when you smiled back at me I swore my heart swole in my chest.

"Hey, Kenny. You ready to go?" You asked, pulling your leather jacket on over your short, black dress that was showing off way too much cleavage for me to control myself for the entire evening, god I'd take you right here right now if I could.

"I was born ready, baby. I got these for you." I replied, bowing to you and holding out a small bouquet of flowers, your hand clutching your chest, and a gasp leaving your red stained lips.

"They're beautiful, Ken! Oh you shouldn't have! I'll just go get these into a vase, please come in." You spoke like an angel, and who was I to say no to an invitation into your home?

"I wanted to. I really do mean what I said last time, I've had my eye on you from you moved here, y/n, and you're different than those other girls, you're special, I can tell." You cheeks were flushed which meant that my charm was working. You'd be mine soon, and as much as I wanted to show you off to the world, I also wanted to hide you from it, so no one would dare to try and steal what's rightfully mine, or they'd end up like Clyde. Buried in the middle of fuck knows where.

"Had your eye on me? Not a little stalker are you, McCormick?" You joked, and I hoped it was a joke, you were laughing and so was I, so that was a good sign.

"Not at all! I mean, how could my eyes not go to you when you walk past me? I mean, look at you!" And slinging my arms round your hips would surely make you see that I was nothing but a pure gentleman.

"You're such a flirt, Kenny." God the way you looked at me, it was no surprise that to me that you'd stolen my heart, god the things I would do to you, the things I would do for you, oh they were criminal, but in this moment as I stood staring into your perfect e/c eyes, I couldn't care if my crimes caught up with me, I mean, getting away with it would be easy, trust me, I'm not that stupid.

Around two hours had passed and so far, our date seemed to be going perfectly, you were laughing at my jokes, I flirted, and you flirted right back, you'd told me about a huge spring break party at Tolken's house, you'd asked me to be your plus one, of course I'd gratefully accept, I needed to keep you safe, you even took my hand within your own when we were leaving the restaurant, my plan was working a charm, and you'd invited me in to your house for a quick night cap, no doubt I'd be staying the night.

And when you led me to your bedroom wearing nothing but some skimpy lingerie, I knew that your panties that were in my safe would be getting a much needed night off from being pressed against my face.

You were on top of me, grinding on me, fuck you were so needy, and my cock was growing by the second, I couldn't help but groan and pull your hips down against my own.

I'd swapped the positions, and now you lay beneath me, I'd left dozens of hickeys all over your neck, your breasts, your stomach, thighs, and now I was going to taste your sweet cunt again, god I couldn't wait, it had been too long from I'd tasted you, had my tongue inside you, claiming your insides, god I was starved, and I couldn't wait any longer, and just as I pressed a closed mouth kiss against your parted lips, your fucking phone rang.

"Ignore it. Don't answer." I ordered, my tongue lapping up your wetness, a moan coming from your lips as your phone started ringing again, and of course, being the kind person that you are, you answered.

And this couldn't have been a worse time, your face was worried, and you moved my head from where I wanted desperately to be for the past week, it was your mother.

Drug overdose, she was in hospital and you had to be there to take care of her, not that she ever did the same for you. No, you'd told me previously that our lives were similar in a lot of ways, and that's where my need to protect you came from. You were like a delicate flower awaiting to bloom, but others put you in the dark, stopped you ever from doing so, from ever reaching your full potential, but I was here now. I was going to care for you, I'd put you in the sun and give you all the love and support I could, the perfect partner, a soul mate some may say.

And as you hurried to pull your sweatpants and T-shirt on to your small frame, tears welling in the corners of your eyes, you gave me a hug, whispering sweet apologies, and I offered to come with you, which you declined. And I understood why, I hated people meeting my parents, seeing my sorry excuse of a home, fitted with built in meth lab in the garden. You were embarrassed, ashamed of your drug addict mother, and I felt that pain, I knew it personally. I was strong enough to deal with it, but you darling, you're too fragile, far too good to be feeling that way, and by god would I protect you from anything.

I'm so sorry to say this baby, your mother will never get clean, she's never been clean your entire life, it truly is a miracle that she's lasted this long. I'd be doing you and everyone else a favour. You'd told me this wasn't the first overdose she'd had, and every one made you feel the same way, like you were the parent, like you were at fault, you didn't keep an attentive enough eye on her, the pain you were feeling was soul destroying, not just for you, but for me too! How dare that woman who brought you into this world make you feel so awful, how dare she cause you pain and misery, if she died it would mean she couldn't cause any more of that, sure you'd be sad, but you'd realise in time that life was better without having to worry every time you left the house if you would come back to your mother, her skin blue and covered in her own vomit, which she choked on in her drug idled state.

And I would care for you, I'd be your shoulder to cry on, your support network, your lover and your boyfriend all tied into one, the whole package, you'd fall straight into my lap and I swear, I'd never ever let you go.

I'm sorry hunny, but your mother needs to be dealt with, and it would be easier than you'd think, one bad batch could wipe out hundreds of drug addicts, and besides, it's not as if I'd never used this method before. My parents died of an 'overdose', well, at least that's what the coroner's report said on the matter, Karen was put into my care, and the home was given to us, and life had been so much happier from I did my whole family a favour and took them out of the equation, and I know you will feel the same, in time at least.

As I drove you to the hospital you told me about your childhood. How you'd been in foster care, then your mother cleaned her act up and for a long time she was stable and in recovery, till she met some douchebag when you were ten, and she was back to using again, and your life had never been the same since.

When we pulled up outside the hospital, you hugged me tightly and kissed me twice, telling me that you'd text me later, and thanking me for the lovely evening, I assured you that this was to be the first of many of these delightful evenings, and even in the deepest depths of your pain, you still smiled at me.

I watched you till your figure disappeared inside the hospital, and I knew there and then what had to be done. I'm sorry baby, but your mother isn't good for you, she's not good for you, not good for us!

She had to go, and I had to be the one to kill her.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Genuine question, how did you not lose interest in eruri all this time?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If only with I knew Anon! I genuinely have no idea how the spark has stayed alive for so long. It hasn't been a conscious decision on my part, it just....is. I mean obviously Erwin and Levi are amazing characters and I love them very much, but it's been almost 10 years now and I'm as surprised as anyone that I'm still here. Many of my closest friends have moved on to new fandoms, but I still haven't found anything else that has rewired my brain the same way Eruri did. That's not to say things haven't changed. I do feel like I'm reaching the end of my writing lifespan in that I think I've written almost everything I want to write for Erwin and Levi. I've got a couple more fics in the works, but I don't know it there will be many more after that. We'll see though. I can never predict when inspiration might strike. I still really enjoy following the fandom though and I love reading all the asks I get here on tumblr. I just wish I had more time to answer them all!

Sorry Anon, I'm not sure that answers your question, but to be honest it's a complete mystery to me!

[joohanisms]

idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭

i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33

(half written before i went ia)

mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced

less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally

but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie

he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.

but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.

"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.

"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."

and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).

you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.

(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)

the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.

you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.

you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?

"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.

"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"

"i'm fine."

"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.

"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."

you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.

"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"

"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."

jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.

"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.

"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."

your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.

" of course i do."