#I hope I'm not coming off as mean here

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

[orokay]

So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.

I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.

I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ♥

[buppypuppy]

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[automatonknight]

OH I WILL ! CHECK OUT THE VIDS WHEN I HAVE THE CHANCE.. [the horrors of having no free time nowadays] and. looks at you with my big autistic eyes. tell me more about benny? :0

YAHOO!! I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE FREE TIME SOON ALSO YOU DESERVE A GOOD LONG BREAK!!! STAY STRONG OUT THERE BOSS YOU GOT THIS!!! ok ok so benny AAUGH benny. AGAIN SPOILERS ahead. i guess it's convinient, he has like. probably the most fletched-out story out of all the characters since he's the one you control, even when rodriguez, who is normally the leader, joins your party. although in the rodriguez route benny doesn't reflect all that much on his life from what i remember. speaking of reflecting on his old life! if rod dies and the story kind of, goes how it usually goes, at certain points you get flashbacks to benny's life before the flash. he worked at a burger place with his friends (clyde and liam) where rod was their manager. besides the two guys he was also friends with a girl named amy (at least i'm pretty sure that's her name, based on the fact that a joy mutant called the same thing uses the move "familiar cry" which implies that you knew that person, but also in the hopeless (an in-the-works sequel to the hopeful) it seems like that childhood friend is alive?? idk i'll keep calling her amy it's shorter). she's stated to have friendzoned him and (as i interpret it and i might be a little biased as someone aroace) if im being honest he doesn't really look like he cares that much? if anything clyde and liam (the latter actually called her out for "leading benny on" once) seem to care way, way more.

^i like this dialogue (it goes clyde, benny, clyde btw) i think it's funny but it also serves as an example. he doesn't even get what they're talking about, i think he just doesn't give a shit about "getting their relationship to another level", thruthfully. ok benny aroace icon headcanons to the side, coming back on the tracks um. so benny's like, well he's trying his best as a leader if rod dies, he's pretty much the sole party member to try and support his friends and cheer them on. he tries to help lanks after what happened to him when they got captured by the lovelies at the beginning of the game, even though he doesn't exactly know how to do that. in, geez i think clyde's route? he gets shot through the eye, which either turns him into a joy mutant or eventually kills him later on. i can't for the love of me remember what happens in liam's route but he for sure dies, since it's not his route. in rod's route they just all die at the end. NOW. in benny's route at the sportsdome, he gets shot in the knee, lanks gets taken and clyde gets set on fire but survives (if he isn't joyed). they fight on a little more but both of his friends eventually end up dead, so he tracks the lovelies down and kills them. the final boss is in every route, a guy named hart, the leader of the lovelies. beltboy's run actually has one of the more difficult versions of this fight BUT what is interesting is that for the first part (before hart turns into a joy mutant, beginning a phase 2 of sort) liam and clyde actually ARE THERE TO HELP!!! like. in benny's spirit. this doesn't happen for liam or clyde, they're stronger because of their anger and grief, especially liam, but i think what allows benny to win is his kind attitude and frienship, which is really cheesy but idk what other way i could interpret that. THIS also. allows him to survive in the end! as five is relieved that he's approached her like a normal person and gets him patched up. idk idk he makes me feel so many things. kind of unrelated and again, i'm probably biased cuz i love projecting, but i think reading him as an aroace man like. makes sense. i see a lot of how i think in him. he does make comments about "getting the girl", yes, but i think that's more to like, please his friends and keep their spirits up or whatever. other than that he seems disinterested in a romantic relationship with amy, it doesn't bother him at all it's not sexual or anything, he tells five that "he needs a friend" when he stumbles into her hideout half-dead after the fight with hart. aroace guy TO ME!!

^me right now as we speak btw. more dialogue propaganda also

and he loves his friends!! ok i think that's all i can recall

[taegularities]

hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍

[milogreer]

fuck me RUNNING i'm so glad i have a best friend in the obsessed tier with me because putting milo in next month's letter options with the yandere caller is MEAN. i like the caller so much but in no world does he come before my main man milo, but bestie's gonna get the caller for me 🥰

[iguessitsjustme]

I have regrets

[sharkneto]

I don’t know why but this whole time I thought you were like 15

assigned teen by tumblr 😔

[harbingersglory]

it says u don’t write for men but u have zhongli ? /nm /gen q

just like. a personal hc ngl. partially because zhongli is already (imo) fairly queer in terms of gender in game already, so I just don't see him as a man. so like, technically not "canon" but they are one of my fave characters so I wasn't gonna exclude them when I enjoy writing him.

[machidielontheway]

there's water getting inside :(( from what i can gather it never happend before even after heavy rainy days, but here with the fucking storm it seems to have went a level above.

it's just 'a little' but this makes me anxious because the One Fear i have with this flat is to have to leave it because there will be work needed on the windows-full-outside-wall to make the flat safe / livable, and it is not work that can be done when somebody lives in it

[queenlucythevaliant]

Shieldmaiden

i. I must have been made for the long defeat, she thought, for that is all I have ever been given.

ii. There was a corollary to that: the contours of my heart must have been fashioned for courage.

iii. Éomer said that their father hadn’t died quiet. He told Éowyn stories about the battle, though he knew no more what really happened than Éowyn did. Curled beneath her brother’s chin, Éowyn imagined her daddy with his jaw clenched, knuckles white around his pommel, fighting and fighting until at last he fell. “He gave those orcs a hell of a fight,” Éomer would say. “His courage will be remembered in these halls until the ending of the world.”

iv. (Somehow, it never occurred to Éowyn that perhaps her good, strong daddy would not be remembered at Meduseld for a losing battle against a dozen orcs, but because that was where the people who loved him best still dwelt.)

v. When Éowyn’s momma died, no one told stories. Momma’s defeat came like the fading of grass under the summer sun.

vi. As a girl, Éowyn gathered up courage from lines of verse and lyrics of songs: My head is bloody, but unbowed. Though far outnumbered let us show us brave. Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter. She chanted those words again and again, a shield against despair.

vii. Somewhere along the line, Éowyn learned to wield a sword. This was more incidental than one might think.

viii. Théodred dead. Théoden scarcely himself. Éomer riding afar. Defeat was coming for Rohan, but to Éowyn, this was a familiar feeling.

ix. Aragorn came like a king out of a story or a song. His was the voice that cried “Bloody, but unbowed!” in her mind when she was almost despairing, high and glorious even in the face of defeat. Now, Éowyn dreamed of queenship, if only so that her voice could be like his.

x. She did not mean to tell Aragorn her deepest fear: that if she was left in Edoras as ruin fell, she would die quiet, caught in a cage and gasping smoke as the house burned down around her.

xi. “You have a sword,” Merry observed. He was right.

xii. Éowyn went to battle because she wanted them to call her brave. She went to battle because momma had faded like the grass, but daddy had given those orcs a hell of a fight. Because if defeat was coming, she did not want to wait in a failing kingdom for ruin to come and find her. No, she wanted to die like a great queen in a song, brave until the bitter end.

xiii. The grass of the fields crunched beneath her feet as she turned to face the Witch King. When she smote him with her sword, she did not feel like a queen in a song. She was only Théoden’s niece, a girl who loved her uncle and would let no evil thing touch him.

xiv. When Éowyn woke in the Houses of Healing, a fresh web of scar tissue round her wrist, victory seemed an insubstantial, fading thing.

xv. But then Faramir looked out to darkness inescapable and dared to say, “I do not believe that any darkness will endure.” He was not like a king in a song, but his words stirred up the same deep places in Éowyn’s soul where all those words of courage lived. They echoed there, louder and louder. Éowyn smiled.

xvi. When he kissed her, she felt brave as growing things are brave: like the crocuses that bloom from the snowy spring ground.

xvii. “You have desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle. Look at me, Éowyn!”

xviii. Éowyn looked at him long and steadily. I was made for the long defeat, she thought. All I ever wanted was to be brave.

xix. But if the darkness was passing, what courage was there in death?

xx. You were made for life, she heard a voice say, for sunlight and dancing and growing things. Your heart was fashioned for love and for joy. And yes—for courage.

[zahai]

Is this a sideblog by chance?

Indeed it is. It used to be used as a primary blog, and I did intend to use it with at least some purpose even after I shifted my attention, but now it's just kinda mindless spam/things I find cool but don't have the spoons or words to give more attention to.

[4lph4kidz]

idk there's absolutely nothin wrong with doing whatever you want with the veritable buffet of underxplored characters and ideas HS offers. hey im doing that! but i'm just not at ease with this prevailing idea that thats the only thing its good for i guess. that drawing boys kissing is the true meaning of homestuck

[the-ghost-king]

idk the problem is everyone is so angry all the time... go eat a snack and if you still don't feel better go to sleep for a little while and then if you're not fixed I recommend a shower and some more food... the problem though is that some of you want to be mean

[milesdadworth]

happy narugodo day i wish i had actually made something for it but here we are