#I hope we get more acoustics in the future! I don't know how likely it is but I'll hold out hope!

[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. Dear readers, I'm here to let you know that if you enjoy this fic, please engage with it. Comments and likes are welcome. I appreciate everyone who follows this fanfic. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

chapter nine

FINAL CHAPTER

The alarm rings, waking you up. It’s not even eight in the morning yet, but you need to adjust to your new life. You and Dean Winchester have been dating for almost two years, which is quite a while. You’re still neighbors, actually, and ever since your relationship changed drastically, he’s been trying to marry you. But all of this happened because, during a night of reconciliation, you both forgot to use protection, and nine months later, you gave birth to a baby. You had your moment of panic when you found out you were going to have a child with Dean.

You get out of bed, hearing your son crying from his room. "Bobby, mommy's coming to get you," you mumble as you quickly get up to grab your son. As soon as you reach his room and approach his crib, he stops crying.

"Who’s the most beautiful baby in the world?" you ask as you pick up your son and gently rock him. He’s too distracted trying to chew on your hair to pay attention to anything you say. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, making your son fidget excitedly. You rush to open the door.

"I knew my little boy would be awake." Bobby smiles when he sees his father at the door. Dean takes the baby in his arms and gives him a hug.

"Can you stay with him while I get ready? I don't want to make us late." You speak between yawns, while Dean nods, playing with little Bobby's hands, who is having a great time in his father's arms. You start picking out the right outfit for the occasion. Sam proposed to your sister, and today is the celebratory lunch for the newly engaged couple.

"Don't you find it odd that our siblings are getting married before us, even though we've already built a new life together?" Dean asks as he watches you from the door of your room. You look at him seriously. He knows you avoid discussing marriage. Having Bob was unexpected and unplanned. You want your marriage to be about something more than just that. Dean, on the other hand, wants to marry to provide a family for your son.

"We rushed the relationship process. They’re following the right flow. What’s really strange is that you’ve already slept with me and with your future sister-in-law. Do you think I should wear this red dress or this black dress?" you ask, showing Dean the options. He examines the dresses for a moment, while Bobby also looks at you with a sleepy expression.

"I prefer the black one; it will highlight your curves better. By the way, I like how things worked out for us. We didn’t plan to have Bobby so soon, but eventually, we would have had a child, right?" Dean starts rocking Bobby in his arms, resting the baby’s head against his chest. Bobby snuggles so comfortably in Dean’s arms, it melts your heart. You grab your clothes and toiletries to head to the bathroom for a shower. However, your silence about Dean’s question clearly bothers him.

"I don’t know, darling. You work so much with your investigations and the reports you publish, and when I release a book, I spend more time on tour signing it than at home. Without Bobby, we probably…" You realize you’re about to say something regrettable, but it’s already too late. You didn’t want to imply that you wouldn’t see a future with Dean if you didn’t have your baby, but that’s exactly what you ended up saying.

"So, from what I understand, we’re not going to get married because we had a child, and the only reason we’re together is because we’re parents of the same baby?" Dean says, visibly irritated, and you can tell from his furious expression that even the fact that Bobby is sleeping in his arms hasn’t calmed him down.

"I know what I said might have sounded that way, but that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to say that no one knows what our future would be like if our child hadn’t been born. But eventually, we will get married. It’s just that as long as I feel like you want to marry me because Bobby needs married parents, I won’t agree to marry you." At that moment, you feel as if you can’t quite express yourself properly. The father of your child seems to be getting more stressed. You drop the outfit you were planning to wear for your sister’s engagement celebration on the bed. You want to try and approach him, but he looks uncomfortable, creating a tense distance between you two.

"I’ll take the reason we're still together to change his diaper and put on his new clothes. Enjoy your shower," Dean says with a certain sharpness in his tone, preventing you from fully approaching him. You feel bad, maybe even a bit foolish.

"Dean, I didn’t mean to offend you. Or our relationship, just try to…" You can’t finish your sentence because he closes Bobby’s bedroom door in your face. You can hear him playing with your son while likely changing him. So, you turn, heading toward your bedroom to grab your clothes and take a shower. The weight of guilt lingers on your shoulders the entire time, and all you want is for this argument to be over.

Your shower ends up being longer than you intended, mostly because you’re not eager to leave and face more tension with your boyfriend. When you finally finish, you hurry to your room, getting dressed quickly, then fixing your makeup and hair. Dean still seems to be in Bobby’s room with him, probably avoiding further confrontation as well. The silence between you two feels heavy, but you know you’ll need to face it eventually.

"Do you want to talk?" Dean says, appearing behind you, leaning against the doorframe. You glance at him while finishing your lipstick, wondering if this is the moment he’s going to break up with you. There’s a pause, and the tension feels almost unbearable as you try to read his expression. His face is serious, but there's something softer in his eyes, maybe a hint of frustration mixed with hurt.

"I’m not with you just because we had a child, I want to make that clear. I love our family and wouldn’t change anything about it," you say, standing up from your vanity and slowly walking toward Dean. Before he has a chance to respond, you gently kiss him, as if needing that kiss to confirm that everything will be alright. But even as your lips touch his, Dean doesn’t seem to want you close. He gently pushes you away, carefully, as if he doesn’t want to hurt you, but at the same time, he clearly doesn’t want your closeness right now. The distance between you grows, not just physically but emotionally too, and it stings more than words.

"I love you, I love our family. But you and I… we’re not going anywhere. What I mean is, if I still have to prove my intentions about marriage after two years, then what’s the point of all this? You don’t want to marry me, and you just won’t admit it because you don’t want to lose me. But it’s wrong to want to keep me at arm’s length when I’ll never fully be yours. Just like it’s wrong for me to want to keep you as my girlfriend when we’ll never be more than that. And if you don’t want that, it’s fine. But I do. For the sake of our relationship, we have to stop fooling ourselves," Dean says, holding your hands against his chest, his forehead resting against yours. Tears are falling from both of you, though you try to be strong for the sake of your son. The weight of his words sinks in, and the emotions are heavy, but the truth in them is undeniable.

"Ending our relationship isn’t fair. You know you love me, and I love you. We have a child together. Isn’t that enough for you?" you say, your voice breaking with sobs and tears. At this point, it doesn’t matter if your makeup is smudged, if you wish this conversation had never happened, or anything else. The only thing that matters is the ache in your chest and the fear of losing the person you love, the father of your child.

"I want to keep respecting you. I want you to be the woman you are, to have what you want. But I’m not what you want, not anymore. And maybe what’s changed between us is that our futures aren’t the same anymore. Bobby will always be our bond, our son. Our love can last forever, but only if we let the romantic side of it fade away," Dean speaks softly, as if he's at peace with what he's saying. But you can't find that same peace. The words feel like a knife twisting in your chest, and the idea of losing him in this way—letting go of the romantic love you share—is unbearable. You don’t want to accept that this could be the end, even if he sounds so calm, almost resigned.

"I don’t want to lose you, Dean. Maybe we could make some kind of concession to each other. You could move in with me, or we could be like those couples who stay engaged for a long time before actually getting married. Please." You’re bargaining with the father of your child, hoping he’ll reconsider what seems like a definitive decision. But he pulls back, as if he’s unwilling to give in.

"You will never lose me. But I don’t think there’s a solution for our romantic situation. It’s ridiculous that it’s at a moment like this, but we need to understand what we have to do. As parents, we need to give our best for our child. If we continue dating, my resentment towards you will overshadow everything. And you’ll never fully trust me romantically. I’m grateful for you being by my side, showing me how beautiful love can be, and for the child we share, but we’ll have to go our separate ways when it comes to romance." Dean says, pulling away, wiping the tears from his face, and composing himself while you feel like a storm is dragging you away.

"Is it over then?" is all you manage to say amid the chaos of emotions you're feeling. Dean looks at you as he steps back further, preparing to leave.

"Until we can be on the same page about our future and what we want from each other, yes. You’re free, and so am I. I know it won’t be easy, that we’ll need to adjust some arrangements involving Bobby, but I’ll try to be the best father our son deserves. I’ll get ready in my apartment, and I assume you’ll want to go in separate cars. I’ll respect whatever you decide." Dean says, looking at you as if he’s waiting for confirmation that you understand he’s breaking your heart, but it’s for the greater good. You think about yelling, throwing something at him, or doing something dramatic, but your son must be sleeping in the next room, and disturbing him is the last thing you want.

"I want you to leave. I’ll take Bobby later. Don’t expect me to act like everything is fine, but I’ll do my best to be decent and not ruin my sister’s and your brother’s day. Now, just go, Winchester." You say, controlling yourself as much as possible to avoid breaking down and losing your composure. Dean hears your words and seems like he wants to come to you, to comfort you. But how could he fix what’s breaking? So, he leaves, taking part of you with him. You then try to collect yourself, going to your son and holding him in your arms while he sleeps peacefully. At least you have him amid all this.

END

[scramble-crossing]

Twewy acoustic

10/10 FANTASTIC album! Your ocean, Voices, and Breaking Free were the highlights for me :] Voices especially! I never really payed special attention to that song before but man...it's so good

I kinda wish we'd gotten at least one more fast-paced song but maybe that's not in the acoustic spirit? Idk I'm not much of a music buff. Shibuya Survivor, Unpainted, bird in the hand, or Storm would've been really fun to hear though! Or yknow what fuck it. We're Losing You. Don't ditch the screamo vocals just throw in a guitar player and listen to them hang on for dear life in the background I'm sure that'll sound great

No Twister? Really? We got a twewy album WITHOUT a millionth Twister remix?? I'm shocked

It's So Wonderful didn't really feel super different to me (I think mostly because what I always remember best of it is just the opening riff) but I like it on there anyways. Feels right yknow?

Calling though. It did feel just a smidge unnecessary to me. There's already been a ton of great Calling remixes and this one's just kind of...eeeeeeh. It doesn't really stand out against the crowd.

Disconnect Me I'm a huge fan but where did you come from. I swear to god I've never heard this song before in my life it's driving me crazy trying to remember it

Get that Final Fantasy song out of there right now THIS IS OUR MOMENT!!!!!!1

So...no Transformation?

[gratuiciel]

"so long, my hero"

a tetta kisaki/takemichi hanagaki playlist

▶ listen here

track list and relevant lyrics under the cut

Epigone - Natsuko Nisshoku

if all it took to survive was enthusiasm, then anyone and everyone could be a hero

in order to protect, you'll have to take that leap

you won't reach for the sky just by stretching

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT - AWOLNATION

i still don't know what i'm doing (fuck!)

Creep - Radiohead

you're so fucking special

i wish i was special

but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo

what the hell am i doing here?

i don't belong here

Tigerlily - La Roux

i know you better than this

i could be here when you call

i'll make you top of the list

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

there's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay

and if you can't get what you want, well it's all because of me

Domino Taoshi - Scop

it took a long time to set them up, didn't it?

but toppling them is the easiest thing, that's how human relationships are

Mr Brightside (Original Demo) - The Killers

jealousy, turning saints into the sea

swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis

Stalker's Tango - Autoheart

love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me more

than you possibly can

Grace Kelly (Acoustic) - MIKA

i could be wholesome i could be loathsome

guess i'm a little bit shy

why don't you like me? why don't you like me without making me try?

Anybody Else - Dom Fera

she said with friends like these who needs anybody else?

(You're The) Devil In Disguise - Elvis Presley

i thought that i was in heaven

but i was sure surprised

heaven help me, i didn't see

the devil in your eyes

The Pretender - Foo Fighters

what if i say i'm not just another one of your plays?

you're the pretender

what if i say i will never surrender?

Carry On - The Score & AWOLNATION

when the madness all around us starts to take its toll (i carry on)

it's a long dark winding road we're on

oh, i carry on

Penguins & Polarbears - Millencolin

so you got me up against the wall

and i'm only waiting for your fall

i'll get back on top and be carefree

it's not the end for me, no, it's not the end for me

Fireproof - The National

you keep a lot of secrets and i keep none

wish i could go back and keep some

Dancing With The Devil - Set It Off

you take your aim to point the blame

it's time we let it go

so save your lies, behind those eyes you're a devil in a disguise

La Camisa Negra - Juanes

what awful luck i had

on the day that i met you

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon

after all i knew it had to be something to do with you

Are You Satisfied? - MARINA

high achiever don't you see?

baby nothing comes for free

they say i'm a control freak driven by a greed to succeed

nobody can stop me

Calling All Skeletons - Alkaline Trio

where did you go when the lights went black?

look what's become of me

i've grown to love your disappearing acts, do one more pretty please

Circus - Britney Spears

i'm like the ring leader, i call the shots

Immortals - Fall Out Boy

i'm still comparing your past to my future

it might be your wound but they're my sutures

Meimu Jealousy - Scop & Tsugumi Nagahara

i don't need your pity

just give me love

Slim Pickens Does The Right Thing And Rides The Bomb To Hell - The Offspring

snake is in the grass while you're living in the past

say what you gonna do?

yeah what you gonna do?

Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliché - Escape The Fate

this blood on my hands is something i cannot forget

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

i'm gonna change you like a remix

then i'll raise you like a phoenix

Gladiator - Jann

is it everything and more than you were hoping for?

show us something we ain't never seen before

Rule #34 - Fish In A Birdcage

i have you strung

strung in my web

Sharks - Imagine Dragons

don't take it from me, i could be everything

Hatef--k - The Bravery

the only thing that i ask

love me mercilessly

Beggin' - Måneskin

i need you to understand

tried so hard to be your man

the kind of man you want in the end

only then can i begin to live again

Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA

don't go sharing your devotion

lay all your love on me

The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

you're the one that i need

i'm the one that you loathe

RUNRUNRUN - Dutch Melrose

oh there she go, losing my head

say you'll love me to death

cause i will

Lonely Together - Avicii & Rita Ora

i might hate myself tomorrow

but i'm on my way tonight

Head Is Not My Home - MS MR

hard to believe

you could cause me harm

this could cause me harm

Numb - MARINA

i can't breathe and i can't smile

this better be worth my while

Karakuri Pierrot - 40mP & Asamakku

i am the pierrot you want me to be

pull my strings as you see fit

Admit Defeat - Bastille

you're the only voice in my head

i can hear you speaking louder than i'm thinking

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE - Måneskin

because i'm the devil who's searching for redemption

Pseudo-Hope Syndrome - DECO*27

you can let it all out if you want

if that's what will make you feel better

let's dilute today with tears

how many times has it been so far?

Ce Que L'on S'aime - Tryo

and we were the first ones surprised to be reaping what we sow

(here "what we sow/ce que l'on sème" is a wordplay that can also be read as "how much we love each other")

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

i love everybody because i love you

Company Calls Epilogue - Death Cab For Cutie

i'm dressed up for free drinks and family greetings

on your wedding, your wedding, your wedding day

[fancycassie-stayfancy]

About my The Originals DR

This is my face claim:

My name is : Faith Marie Mikaelson (well my Aunt Bex choose my middle name) i'm sixteen years old , sometimes when needed i go under Faith Labonair or Faith Smith (like my dad = Elijah Smith)

I am a Tribid. Yes , i have a crescent birthmark on my right shoulder and no I still haven't activated my wolf side neither my vampire side so right now i am just a witch

Born : March 14

Some nicknames : babygirl, sunshine (All by Hayley and Elijah) mini Elijah, sweetheart (by aunt Bekah and uncle Marcel) Little one and princess( by Elijah) My favorite niece ( by Klaus) honey, darling ( by Kol and Davina) Gorgeous, little one (by Freya and Keelin)

I am bisexual (just like i'm here in my CR), no S\O at the moment; i am very protective to those who i consider friends and my family, stubborn , perfectionist but very kind, intelligent, selfless, empathetic, compassionate, and friendly. 100% ambivert (a mix betweent Introvert and extrovert

I hate hot days, sharks, snakes or the though of losing my loved ones, i can speak multiples languages (thanks to my beautiful family who lived for a thousand years) but i love rainy days, cold weather, animals...

My Hobbies are : bake, ballet dance, play piano and acoustic guitar

Relationships

With my parents and half-sister Hope: we are super close , somethings i tell my sister and not my parents but we are close. I love play piano with my father, in the future i would love run in my wolf form with my mom and sister; I was born in New Orleans but I spent some time as a baby in Manosque with my parents, in the Bayou

Uncle Nik and Aunt Freya are so protective of me , of course i am close to the rest of my aunts and uncles but they both are my closest uncle and aunt, uncle Nick said he would teach me how to paint

I don't always see my uncles and aunts but when I do it's a party, I want to spend hours with each one of them…

Right now , i am living in the French Quarter , I haven't added any friends yet because I'm setting it up, looking at face claims and everything (you can even help me with Stefanie Salvatore's face claim)

Me and aunt Bekah, we love to shop together, do a girl's night with spa day and everything, we talk a lot about dating to my father's jealousy hahaha

With Uncle Marcel we love explore New Orleans , he talks about when he rebuild the city and his time with our family

Aunt Freya , uncle Kol, aunt Davina , they teach me new spells , with uncle Kol we pull pranks so much on everyone...

Uncle Nik , introduce me to Beignet which i am in love now .... and of course i hope he'll teach me to paint

I don't form a close bond with Keelin but i'm hoping we develop a aunt\ niece relationship soon , she and aunt Freya had a son : Nik (which i need a face claim for him too)

i think for relationships it's this for now , some scenarios:

A witch did a spell against my family but only made me return to a baby phase which basically left my whole family trying to figure out a why to reverse it and my parents super mad at the new NOLA witches

I almost burn the kitchen down trying to make some pasta , but i didn't

I am planning a trip with the whole family , with some challenges

I tried my best to explain it to you, I didn't make the script too detailed so as not to get too distracted

If you want to know more, my asks box are open..........and there will soon be a Materlist to make it easy to find everything about all my current and future DRs

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[thesinglesjukebox]

DUA LIPA - "TRAINING SEASON"

525,600 sadbois...

[5.53]

Leah Isobel: Every time I try to write this blurb, I stare at a blank screen for 30 minutes before closing the page. I start with how the instrumental choices here invoke classic pop forebears -- flamenco guitars that, in this context, feel like Madonna; descending piano lines that recall ABBA -- and I come up short. I start with her affected enunciation, leaning into the simulated emotion ("I try to see my lovers in a gühd light") and the, uh, being-British ("I hope it hits me like an aurrow") that are her two trademarks, and I come up short. I start by comparing "Training Season" to "Houdini," which did ultimately grow on me, and I come up short. I just don't have anything to say about this song; it's so taut, so perfectly and unremarkably muscular, that my attention bounces right off. So it's a Dua Lipa single. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: Dua Lipa is the human incarnation of the [6] to [7] range. Here we have some exotica married to the amusing idea that the main attraction of a vertiginous, libidinous love affair is "conversation overload." I don't know -- that line, and the surrounding lyrics like "he's straight talking to my soul" and "are you somebody who can go there?", come off so dating podcast-brained and thus absolutely safe that they make the instrumental sound overheated and unconvincing. [6]

Jackie Powell: Red hair. Leather outfits. Vocal growling -- it happened right here during Dua Lipa’s performance at this year’s BRITs. The disco of “Dance the Night” and Future Nostalgia has officially run its course. While I had questions about how convincing Lipa’s previous single “Houdini” was of her transition into “psychedelic-pop” and “Nineties rock,” Lipa makes a much more cogent argument for her new era with “Training Season.” With main collaborator Caroline Ailin, Lipa constructs an extended metaphor that equates dating to a high-stakes track meet. The influences of Kevin Parker and the Brit pop-rock of Oasis and Blur that Lipa grew up with are much more apparent -- the heart of the song is a conversation between a guitar and a bass during the verses, in addition to a rhythm acoustic guitar that accents the chorus. The bridge -- which is a full bridge, not just a bunch of vocalizations -- is a melodramatic but compelling build that brings everything into complete focus. Her lyrics continue the extended metaphor about running, but finally we’ve arrived at the meet itself, and a classic piano serves as the person who formally tells the runners to take their marks and go. Throughout “Training Season," Dua Lipa wields a type of command that's edgier than her previous work. Interesting doesn’t have to be toxic, as she told Brittany Spanos of Rolling Stone, and "Training Season" is her way of responding to the toxic masculinity that has become part of the story of the pop rock music she’s influenced by.  [9]

Ian Mathers: Ah yes, another installment in the Dula Peeps Men (Still) Ain't Shit extended cinematic universe. From magic to sports, where will we go next? Farming? Food preparation? I do wish this was as fun to listen to as "Houdini," though. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: The anti-chemistry between Dua Lipa and her Stereogum-bait producers is even more evident here than on "Houdini," and I find it strangely engrossing, albeit with the balance tipped toward "strangely." Getting spins remains the goal, but there's this constant tug-of-war regarding the best strategy for getting them. Kevin Parker tends toward memorable, if incongruous moments of harmonic tension and build-up, while Danny L Harle is presumably the one responsible for those geometric guitar plucks and the antiseptic bubble that is the chorus. Meanwhile, Dua Lipa is there, plugging her vocals into the the designated slots, feeling less essential to the character of her own song than ever. Such are the dangers of outsourcing your sonic re-invention to the indie gentry. [5]

Andrew Karpan: I’m less of a cynic, and I think the idea of burning through various versions of Kevin Parker’s “Less I Know the Better”-type beat through the gasoline shimmer of hyperpop disco (TM) is as fine enough an idea as any to sell the Dua Lipa project -- the value proposition of which remains largely unchanged, even as it continues to be twisted into slightly fewer, but more deliberate, directions. Her voice can always bend, but always the same way, beating on, against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the ’clurb.  [5]

Dave Moore: I'm not sold yet on Dua Lipa's chorus-agnostic era. As a perennial Lipa skeptic I thought the stylistic recession on "Houdini" worked for her, and I suppose it works about as well here, but the song is bereft of that one's small pleasures. It sounds like she's rubber-cementing random pop hooks together, whereas before it at least sounded like she was using chewing gum.  [6]

Oliver Maier: Something like "Lay All Your Love On Me" is straining to muscle out from beneath Dua's tepid synth-funk, but there's never any real danger it'll break free and liven things up. [4]

Joshua Lu: There's a deadliness to "Training Season" that few artists can execute as well as Dua, with her coquettish voice slinking around you like a snake does its prey. But where the song should grow in intensity, it instead chooses to shrink, and where it should throw a curveball, it instead aims for simplicity — why does the chorus end with such a standard fade-out that resets all of its momentum? The song has all the foundations of a great pop single but is too satisfied with sounding like a decent album track. [5]

TA Inskeep: Her singles have a habit of sneaking up on me. "Levitating" improved by hearing it constantly out in the wild (I don't generally do terrestrial radio, but it was unavoidable). "Cold Heart"'s mash-up eventually sucked me in, and I can't get the short sharp (un)shock of "Houdini" out of my head (it's an [8], just a sparkling pop single). "Training Season" won't join that class, as it has nothing to it but a mild EDM build (ca. 2008) in the chorus that just -- ends. And Lipa sounds even more bored than usual. [4]

Hannah Jocelyn: This would have been a [10] if it came out shortly after Currents; it's still pretty great in 2024, with much more lively production than "Houdini" and genuine risks like that harsh synth towards the end. I'm on board with this direction! [7]

Nortey Dowuona: I wonder if it burns Caroline Polachek up that Dua Lipa will have the big mainstream hit album she will never have and that Danny L Harle is involved with it. I would advise her to listen to Martina Sorbara's 2002 album The Cure for Bad Deeds and accept her niche status instead of fighting it. It might just lead her to eggs over easy. [6]

Dorian Sinclair: So, I read a lot. It’s my primary leisure activity. I read books that profoundly move me, books that open me to whole new ways of thinking, books I immediately recommend to everyone I know. But I also read a steady stream of 5.5/10 genre novels. They’re an important reset between more impactful works: faultlessly competent, reasonably engaging, instantly forgettable. This, to me, is Dua Lipa. [5]

Aaron Bergstrom: Feels like it should work but comes off as listless, directionless, joyless. It's a mild to moderate case of Training Seasonal Affective Disorder. [4]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Training season? Guess it makes sense that she sounds so out of breath in that chorus then.  [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[flockrest]

spell out your url using song titles / then, tag as many people as there are letters in your url!

tagged by: @quillheel ( thanks bunches!! ♡ ) tagging: some of you have pretty long urls and i don't want to be annoying sldfkjd so whoever wants to do this! go for it, nab it from me!!

this was super fun to figure out! both as someone who runs a mumu and as someone who primarily listens to soundtracks and scores :'D i've included my thoughts on how the songs i ended up choosing would vibe with the blog since i don't have the luxury of highlighting lyrics, either through a specific muse-centric lens or just as a general thematic thing! i do cheat with some letters but. i think my input makes up for it. probably aslfkjsd

F. fire emblem main theme, as featured in the sounds from fire emblem Ø: horse and rider as one album. it's an understated rendition compared to the original, but i think that works in its favour because oh man. the way hope feels here...like. the way it's delivered? it's so sincere, it sounds like a hope built from the ground up! if i had to put a taste to this, it would be sweet! listen to how earnest that acoustic guitar sounds against the more grounded piano — i genuinely love this piece and do listen to it occasionally when writing!

L. ( the ) legendary hero, as featured in the legend of zelda: the wind waker. please just roll with the fact that i wanted to put a ww mention in here so badly that i stretched this far for it. "but ray, you've got—" shhh, that letter's reserved for another song. this track has nothing to do with the rito specifically, but it's very good storytelling music and is literally the bgm for narrative exposition slfkjdlf the kids would've been listening to Songs like this in their early childhood for sure :)

O. once there were dragons, as featured in how to train your dragon: the hidden world. i have many qualms with this movie, but damn if i don't have nothing but praise for its soundtrack. this one in particular recounts an entire story on its own, no explicit exposition needed even to the untrained ear. it's the telling of a legend in music motion, as the above track was, just in a different flavour! also it has test drive's, the flying theme of all time, leitmotif in there to cap it all off; i can't not endorse it on this blog!!

C. carlo's theme, as featured in guillermo del toro's pinocchio ( please appreciate the amount of self-restraint it took to not slot colgera's theme in here asflkjg ). the airy, fluttery sound texture at the beginning flowing into such a measured, charming melody...feels like a swell of love and longing at the same time! what i envision kido's theme would sound like, esp. in his botw era, if he had one.

K. kass' theme, as featured in the legend of zelda: breath of the wild. bonus extended cover. this was a no-brainer, if only because there aren't a lot of tracks i know that would vibe with this blog and start with "k" anyway sdflkd we love kass, all my homies love kass! also i only realised it this year, but there is a lovely little hint of rito village's theme in his own — it's way subtler than revali's homage, but it's sweet how kass' song basically starts the same way his home's does ♡

R. revali, ace archer and aviator, as featured in hyrule warriors: age of calamity. come on...you can't expect me to not fit in one of the blorbo's themes!! i'm so glad we got an extension of it in aoc...one that sounds so bombastically triumphant too? a fanfare compared to the more reflective piece in botw — which i do appreciate lots for how and what it adds to revali's narrative and character — but aoc's rendition is just. it sounds like him at his peak! and it speaks of such a definitively hopeful future for him...so what if i'm weak for a revali who gets to live, huh?? i love the tragedy of being doomed by the narrative as much as any other chump but so WHAT if i love the nobody dies-everyone lives route too!!

E. echoes, as featured in fire emblem echoes: shadows of valentia. the shortest piece on this list, but when i think or talk about dineli and his legacy, esp. regarding its presence in tulin's time, it's with these vibes. that sort of...emptiness, tinged with melancholy but also hope! no this was not the hardest letter for me to do, why do you ask

S. sea winds and travellers, as featured in the sounds from fire emblem Ø: go! go! summer tour album. aside from the perfect track name, the mellowness of this piece almost rivals that of rito village's theme itself?? how wonderful does this rendition sound! it's got a different harmonic colour to it, but the tones are so similar and convey that same feeling of warmth, wistfulness, and something like facing strife and pulling through anyway...it just feels like it'd be a good pick for the theme of, say, a migrating rito flock!

T. the apex of the world, as featured in fire emblem: three houses. see, i was going to cheat again and put tulin's theme or a tulin of rito village suite here, but oh man. this track! dineli vibes for his final battle!! what an evocative track name — the apex of the world, deep underground — and the major leitmotif sounds so charged with emotion; as i imagine the culmination of the imprisoning war would have been, no matter how lacklustre it seemed in canon retellings...okay, maybe this is more rauru-centric. but i'd love for people to listen to this anyway adlfkjls

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

[borathae]

Girl help, I'm struggling. I hadn't realized this about myself earlier, but I think since in real life I'm the type to walk out at the first sign of toxicity I am uncomfortable when my beloved fictional couples have a toxic relationship? Like after all that I'm like well damn maybe they shouldn't get back together at all.

The only hope I have is how much I trust you as a writer to bring me back around sabjdjs. I'm happy you promised fluff in the future, after all that I need to be heavily persuaded to be back on team Lucky x Bunny. And please don't misunderstand, I love them both individually so much even though they both made their fare share of dumb decisions throughout the chapter, and I even loved them together, in those glimpses of them happy we got in this chapter and previous ones. I want to be back to rooting for them to get together so bad, it's just... uf.

I can say, I'm proud of Lucky at the end, I know she didn't want to break up with him either but at that time it was probably the best decision. For both of them. I just pray Jungkook sees this as a catalyst for seeking professional help and doesn't sink deeper.

My theory now is there will be a time skip? I also kinda hope we see them both helping themselves before trying to get back together. (You don't have to confirm or deny LOL I'm just throwing out my theory I think I don't actually want to be spoiled)

I don't usually join in the music recs but there was a song stuck in my head the entire time I read this. It's Leona Lewis - Trouble (acustic version).

Great work on this chapter! It was so long omg, I imagine how much work you put into it, thank you! 💜 (Although maybe it's more accurate to say great work putting my heart through a shredder 😫)

(Also, I refuse to address that Shin girl. Simply refuse to think about her for the sake of my blood pressure. But I'm down if we all want to go beat her up in a parking lot.)

PS. I'm really hoping for the return of the mommy kink later on when they are both being happy idiots together. That little bit was such a tease in between all the angst there 😭.

Okay so, first of all your song rec, because it’s big sad :(

Leona Lewis - Trouble (Acoustic)

Now as far as your other review is concerned. I can promise you that there will be lots of progress in the next chapter. And that hopefully I did a good job to make everything happening in it understandable and nice to read. 

👁👄👁💧

Also there will be a return of the mommy kink. Twice actually (three times if you count in one very specific scene which still makes me tremble) 🥴 

Thank you so much for reading! 💜

[ana-deaky]

It’s The Little Things || Joe Mazzello x Reader

What started out as a discussion between me and @amethyst-serenade on how cute Joe is, blown out into this story/HC, I honestly don’t know what this is. It’s definitely fluffy, now that I’m sure. Hope you guys enjoy our work!!

Words: 2393

No warnings whatsoever

HERE WE GO!!

Oh without a doubt! He's gonna be an amazing father and his kids will be adorable and lovable just like him.

Imagine him with his firstborn (especially if it's a girl) holding them in his arms and the absolute adoration on his face ♥️

It would start when you tell him you're pregnant. He'd be beside you (crying a little), kissing and hugging you, and your belly and telling "I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna be parents."

Even when before you start showing, his hands will be on the belly, secretly protecting his kid. Involuntarily yelling "excuse me" and "coming through" when the two of you walk through crowds. And randomly talking to the baby, reading to the baby at night. And when he goes on a shoot while you're pregnant and he calls and he says "put the phone on speaker, I wanna talk to the baby" and talks about the day.

And he'd be showing everyone the ultrasound pic! And when you're having a movie night, he'd either have his hand or his head on your belly, constantly snuggling into you. And he'll tell anyone who'll listen that his beautiful wife is expecting your first child. And during the movie, if anybody cusses, Joe would put his hands on the sides of the belly and he'd say "too early for that" jokingly.

Oh Joe won't be able to hold it in for the first trimester. The day the second trimester hits, the ultrasound will be on his page and he'll share an entire paragraph about the baby and his incredible wife.

And obviously help throw the best damn dramatic Baby Gender Reveal Party ever!! YES! It's a girl!!

The moment he feels the baby kick over your belly, god, here comes the water works AGAIN!! His hands will be literally glued to your belly until he feels her kick again.

And the day comes when little Ms. Mazzello is ready to make her grand entrance into the world and you bet your ass, Mr. Mazzello has had the hospital bag and ready to go right after the baby shower.

And there she was, Ella Virginia Mazzello, the absolute adoration in his face as he watched his little girl in a tiny bundle on her mom's chest.

His face would be all lit up when he finally holds his baby girl, he's looking at his baby girl, all teary eyed and you could see his love for the baby in his eyes. And he'll literally worship the mother of his more than adorable baby, the love of his life and love her like anything.

He'd be loving and considerate, and would make sure his wife is happy and comfortable. And he tries his best to for you to let him dress the baby in the Yankees onesie he got for her. Well he knows how that's gonna end up.

Let us assume the fact that Ben has a baby boy around that time and Gwil makes a joke "that's your future boyfriend" when the boys visit the new mother and baby at Joe's home and Joe whispers to the baby, pretty audibly, "No dating for you until 16, young lady"

And on one day when the Yankees are playing, he'll be wearing a Yankees tshirt and dresses the baby in the Yankees onesie that he specifically got for her, and seats her on his lap, he'll post that picture captioned "Just two Yankees fans hangin' out"

His phone memory will be filled up with all of Ella's pictures, videos of her bouncing up and down on her father's lap to one of those Beatles songs from her dad's collection and obviously in her Halloween costume, that's right, Joe dresses up his little girl in a baby Raptor costume.

And all the boys would give him shit for it but Lucy would think it's the most adorable thing ever and tell you how lucky you are to have a husband like that.

As his little girl grows up, he'll help her host tea parties and he'd take her on daddy-daughter dates so he can show her how a REAL man should treat her.

Joe would make sure his little girl don't take no crap!

Second time along, during their second gender reveal, they find they're having a baby boy and he'll go crazy raising his hands and jumping up and down "we're having a boy, our lil baseball player is here."

He'd be going on and on and ON about having a firstborn son to carry on the family name.

He'd DEFINITELY get him a raptor onesie first and practically beg to organise play dates with Gwil & Dana's little girl and Rami and Lucy's twins (we haven't forgotten Ben's kids)

And Joe's baby girl, he'll definitely be by her side when his baby boy is too little so that she don't feel left out or anything.

********

And Mother's Day,

The boys would all get together and plan something special for the ladies so they don't have to lift a finger. Starting with breakfast in bed (that Joe made with help from the kids), well you woke up to your little girl's giggles from outside the door and in comes your lovely husband with your baby boy in the baby carrier and Ella.

The boys would have booked the girls in for a spa day and he'll organise daddy-daycare with the boys. Then you'd all go to Rami & Lucy's place for dinner, which of course, the dads are making while the girls hangout with the kids. And then comes a bab(ies)y-mommy photoshoot and everything.

But Joe would find you when the baby's hungry because 'that's the one thing I can't do, sorry!' He'll be so dramatic saying "My nipples are useless."

Under the starry skies, the boys and their wives and babies, pictures perfect.

Ooh and the kids, well the boys will set up tents for them to camp in the backyard. And they'll sit around and tell stories of dragons and pirates and wizards; and let their imaginations run wild.

Imagine Gwil telling all these amazing stories with his soothing accent, doing all the voices and making the kids laugh while the rest of you are enjoying a beer or a glass of wine under the fairy lights hanging in the trees. And later, when he gets an acoustic guitar and break into a song and all the boys sing along.

And after the kids are down, all of you reminisce about the time when they did BoRhap and all the fun you guys had during press tours and birthdays and holidays.

And Joe tells about the adventures in Japan for the press tour when the translators were finding it hard to keep up with the boys. And Ben's like "Sorry I missed it!"

"But Cardboard Ben did" and that's when they remember Ben Cardy after an awful long time

Then Gwil and Joe explain the terrible night that Cardy B was in jail. Meanwhile you and the girls look at each other like "Boys!" 🙄

And Lucy takes out Joe's YouTube page and shows all the videos. And they all give him shit for doing 'Milk' and you be like "He still got the occasional screams."

Then Rami says "so THAT'S your bedroom secret, Joe?" And Joe's like "Well, we've got two kids so it must be working!" And you shove at his arm to keep him quiet saying "Joseph!"

"That's nothing",  Lucy says with a grin "Rami sings to me". And Rami covers his face with his hands and Ben shoves his arm. "Gwil goes "Huzzah" everytime he's done", says Dana from a corner. Ben gives Olivia a warning look, and Olivia says "Ben tells me to call him Skywalker to get him in the mood" and Joe laughs.

"So we all have weird quirks, cheers to that", says Joe and takes a drink and you go like eww

"That's why were friends", says Gwil. "Joe and I are more like brothers' says Rami, "We've seen each other shirtless in The Pacific". "And other things" says Ben. Lucy rolls her eyes and you two give each other a look.

"Here we go again" says Gwil and turns to you to ask "Has he tried to make the kids watch The Pacific yet?"

"Well it's not my fault. That the scene was TOO GOOD, y'know", says Joe winking, "besides you enjoy it as much as I do" says Joe to you.

"Several times. Barely made it halfway through the first episode before Ella said she was bored. He then tried with Joey until I reminded him that the baby is, in fact, still a baby. But when WE watch it, Joe always seems really interested in THAT sex scene", you said. "Joseph!" Lucy gasps

"Attaboy!" Rami chuckles and pats Joe on his back.

"How come you guys never watched it with me?", Ben asks. "We should do a "The Pacific" watch party one day", Rami announces and Joe toasts, "To the watchparty!"

"Oh she hesitated! That means it's true!" says Ben. "No wonder you've got two kids" Gwil grins.

"You watched it too!" says Dana. "Only because Rami and Joe wouldn't shut up about it and brought it up in EVERY interview we did!" says Gwil.

Just as Joe does the toast, your daughter comes out in her favourite unicorn pyjamas. "Daddy, I need to pee". Joe looks over at you. Rami and Lucy giggle. "She did call Daddy, didn't she?", you gave a look to Joe and he says "Come here" he says and picks up his daughter and off he goes. "She walks right?", Dana asks. "Don't even get me started with that.", you told.

"Always knew he'd go all gooey over his little girl." Ben says, lighting a cigarette. "She's definitely daddy's princess", you sigh. "Does he have tea parties with her?" Olivia asks. "He does, but uh" you hesitate just as Joe comes back, "Liv wants to know about your latest tea party"

"Oh what can I say Ella loves tea parties as much as I do. It's incredible and so much fun, you know" he says. "And this one here", he gestures to you, "is kinda jealous of us spending all the time together."

"You pinky promised me that you wouldn't show it to anyone" says Joe trying to grab your phone. "Oh its them", you said. "Yes it's us. Also pinky promise? How old are you guys?", Gwil asked.

"Yeah, Joe left me for a younger woman", you grin, sipping your wine. "You bastard!" Gwil gasps.

"And yet I have photographic evidence of you wearing a flower crown" you add. "Show us!", says Ben.

"That's just the start of it, Gwil", you wink, "so we have a choice between the flower crown, the fairy wings or the unicorn headband". Ben chokes on his cigarette and the girls laugh.

"You're a man of many hidden talents, Joe", Rami smirks.

"In my defense, I take pinky promises very very seriously", Joe said as the group passed the phone around, "Also I looked good in every one of those pictures"

"Y/N, tell them", Joe said. You roll your eyes. "He looks good in every one of those pictures", you said, adding to Dana "otherwise he'll sulk for the rest of the night." Dana giggles.

"Speaking of onesies, Joe wanted to get BoRhap themed outfits for the kids.", you said. "Thats so thoughtful, Joe", Lucy said. "Hold on, next time?", Ben grinned, "You guys wanna have more kids?"

"Did you get that onesie that we sent you for the baby?" Ben asked. "We did", you confirm "and it fits perfectly. Though El almost threw a tantrum when she saw her baby brother dressed as a raptor."

"Well Joe has already bought a Yankees one, so Ben had to compromise", said Rami. "Joe made me pinky promise that we HAD to buy the Yankees onesie first", you grin. "I wanted that for the baby's "homecoming" outfit, but she didn't allow it. Both times. Better luck next time, right?" Joe said.

'It's Joey's first Christmas. They're growing up so fast. I remember like it was yesterday that I told Joe that I was pregnant with El. Now here we are", and you were interrupted by a baby crying through one of the monitors. All of you scramble around to check which one was active. And found out it was yours, "Is he hearing all this? I'm gonna go check on him", you said and walked away.

"Oh he's already advised me of this, on the wedding night", you shrugged. "Pretty sure we conceived lil Joey at your place, Gwil", Joe grins, making Gwil sputter on his beer. You swatted his arm, "Joe!!".

"And I assume you've already found these outfits for the kids?" Olivia asked.

"It's a work in progress. It should be ready by the time of our Disney trip, hopefully", Joe said.

You sat in the rocking chair with Joey in your arms, singing to him softly, looking deep into his hazel eyes, stroking his cheek with your finger.

"I remember when you told us that Y/N was pregnant again", said Lucy, "You couldn't wait give give El a baby brother or sister."

"That's what you meant when you said you were busy, huh"' Rami winked. "We thought it was time, you know, El became a big sister."

******

"Gosh, I feel bad for not saying goodnight to everyone", you yawned "I didn't realise how tired I was.". You watched as the baby snuggled into the pastel green blanket, sound asleep.

You felt the baby lifted off your arms and opened your eyes, your fingers tightening on the baby "Shhhh its okay, it's me. I got him.", said Joe as he took the baby in his arm and laid him down on the bassinet right by the bedside. "Aren't you supposed to be downstairs?", you asked sleepy

"I knew you'd have dozed off with the baby when you didn't show up and everybody was tired after the long night. Probably asleep by now", Joe said, "Come let's go to sleep."

'C'mon now, in you get', Joe said pulling the duvet aside and you got in and he behind you. His strong arms wrapped around you after he pulled the blanket over the both of you. You nuzzled into his neck. Joe kissed the top of your head. As the two of you dozed off.

......

Tags: @amethyst-serenade @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @mazzell-ro @thosequeenboys @detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox @brinteylovesaliens @hellysthings

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

03 - Music Room 3007

Chapters songs:

*Dagger; Slowdive

On The Level; Mac Demarco

F song; Strawberry Guy

^^^ when including * in chapters next to a song, that means it is a song that will be performed in the chapter.

———

— Y.L. Perspective

      "Sunshine girl is sleeping. She falls in dreams alone," sings Toruku in a calming tone into a microphone, along with the strumming of a guitar. "And me, I am her dagger. Too numb to feel her pain."

     "The world is full of noise, yes. I hear it all the time. And me, I am your dagger. You know I am your wound." I join in, adding onto his

      The words we sang were truly upsetting. About a boy, a lover, who is aware he's hurting the girl he loves. I couldn't compare any relationship I'd ever been through to those lyrics.

      Although one had always caught my eye: "I didn't really lose you, I just lost it for a while." It was easy to automatically think of the boy I was duetting with when we covered this; for some time now, Toruku has had small feelings for me.

       One of the things that repelled me from a relationship with him was the idea that it would end horribly, and that it would potentially ruin our relationship.

      Not to mention how much drama that would cause for two other unproblematic teenagers who were only trying to make a living off of their talent: Hikishi and Giki.

      But today wasn't about what would happen between the two of us— today was her day.

     "I thought I heard your whisper, it happens all the time." And with that, the song is brought to an ending, followed by my gaze met with the blonde boy.

       "That was, once again, better than before. But I feel as if it's missing something." He explains, as he removed the wooden instrument from his arm and leaned it against the bean bag he sat in.

       Music room 3007 contained the following: I couple of bean bag seats, a coffee table, a vending machine, almost every instrument in existence in an extra storage room, tools used to record and analyze music, and posters + records we kept throughout the years.

       Truth is, music room 3007 wasn't even really a part of the school anymore. Sure, it was still on maps and the district still paid the electricity, cable, and water bill. But barely any students or teachers paid much attention to it, for it was stuffed behind the gyms, which were two large buildings that would block out any view of the smaller one that stood behind it.

      'I hope Sugawara won't have any problem with finding this place.' I think to myself, as I stand from the chair to turn the camera and microphone off.

      We would set up different amps, microphones, and cameras when recording a cover of a song. This time, it was a basic acoustic from 1993, named 'Dagger' by Slowdive.

     After turning it all off, I plop back onto the cushion. "I think we've don't this quite enough times already, 'Ruku. We should upload it already and get on to the second song. I mean, we've been here a whole hour trying to perfect 'Dagger'." I say, removing my uniform's blazer, and throwing it across the coffee table. Next came my tie, and I unhooked the first two small buttons of my white collared shirt. The music room got hot when so many electronics were in use.

     "Maybe you're right. We should probably get onto another song." He replied, running his hands in the bridge of his nose and down his neck.

      I quickly stand up from my chair and stand behind him, leaning onto his shoulders. "I think you're just tired. Are you sure you wouldn't wanna go home?"

      Toruku runs a hand up my arm, patting my shoulder, then sighs heavily. I couldn't imagine how tired he must be after today. His thoughts must've been wearing him down. "Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I don't wanna leave you all alone."

      "No need, Sugawara will help me get home, remember?" I ask him, followed by a moan of protest. It worried me that Sugawara and Toruku most likely wouldn't get along, especially since both seemed so compatible at first.

      Both his hands leave mine and lay in his lap. "And what's with this Suga guy, Y/n? Is he your buddy?" His voice echoed through the band room, stabbing the back of my brain while I think for an answer that wouldn't sound suspicious. I would say no, but who knew what the future could hold.

"I dunno. But he means no harm! At least I think so.." Tired from squatting, I lift to stand on both feet properly. Toruku slides his hand away from my figure and brings it towards his face. It covers his mouth as he once again sighs. "You seem tired after today, Ruku. Is it because of Moku?"

Hopefully, I hadn't overstepped any boundaries with what I had said. Hopefully, I was remotely correct about why he looked so down. "Yeah, it is. I won't act as if it doesn't bother me because I know it bothers you too. Although it's been three years, I still feel very guilty for going on without her."

'At least he knows I'm here with him.' I thought, moving to the bean bag I had been in just a few moments ago. By her, I meant Torukus passed girlfriend, and my best friend: the reason I practically stopped living at the age of fifteen. Honestly, Toruku and I weren't even really that close. I knew her as her boyfriend and he knew me as her best friend. And as close as we were to her, we were never friends. Moku's death only brought us closer to each other, stirring up the beginning of a rock band.

      "I know what you mean. I do. Thankfully, this birthday of hers went better than the last two, wouldn't you say?" I ask, leaning on my elbows that sat on my knees.

      "Definitely. The previous ones all ended up in fights and long makeups. I guess we're just more laid back about it now," He explains, getting up from his seat, and browsing the instruments that were hung on the wall. His fingers wrap around his belt loops as he stands. "I feel bad for getting over her so quickly."

       "I know exactly what you mean. Never forget that I'm right here next to you, Toruku. That we've gotten through this together instead of alone. Although I wish you had talked to me more when it had first happened, I was all alone!" I chuckle at the last part, even if it wasn't funny at all. "I think the life we made out of our relationship has turned out for the better. Look where we are now: moving to American in about a year to sign to a label. Wouldn't she be proud we've gotten so far?"

      "Maybe you're right," Toruku says, leaning against the back wall. His hair danced over his eyes barely, as they stared right at me. "Maybe you should hit up Toru and Hajime, ask how they're doing. They went through this too, you know."

      "Yeah, I know. I haven't because I'm afraid of what they'll say, or if they even say anything at all. They're both a part of a very different social class after all. If anything, I'll probably get a simple thumbs up on my message." My voice grows low, expressing my tiredness from this conversation already.

      Toru and Hajime were two other people that used to be in my friend group with Moku throughout our childhood. Both were loud and expressive and played volleyball, but they were also very kind and friendly towards Moku, Toruku, and me. Once middle school had started, the five of us grew closer and closer by the second. We joined volleyball clubs, hung out at our houses practically every day, and grew popular throughout the years. But once Moku had passed, we all fell apart. She was what held us together after all.

       Both Hajime and Toru decided to go to another high school, and Toruku and I went to another. After that, we hadn't heard a single word from them.

      "It's worth a try, Y/n. We wouldn't want to seem inconsiderate." Toruku says as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pockets, as well as a lighter. After lighting one, the smoke leaves his mouth slowly, as he continues. "I wish you would at least try to make amends between them. You were closer to them than I ever was."

     "I'll try. Just not now."

———

       After another hour of practice with Toruku, the two of us stood silent on our phones while we waited for Sugawara. Something told me that he had gotten lost. Either that, or he just forgot about me, which I wouldn't blame him for.

       But right when I was about to tell Toruku that we should go home, a message from an unknown number had shown up on the top of my phone screen that alarmed me.

      [Text Message: ###-###-####]

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on the school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

     [Reply to ###-###-####]

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

       After the second the message gave me a preview, I fully entered the screen. It had a profile picture, but not a contact name. Although, that was my very first-year-like of me to be irresponsible. [Sugawara] read the title after I'd edited it, and nothing more. Only a few brief messages that we had just sent to each other.

Sugawara

  

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

Actually, right number! But seriously... I have no idea where the hell you are. Is it off-campus? I might just cry if I don't figure this out. I've been at it for a solid ten minutes.

Ten minutes?? Damn boy, you could've just asked to meet me in the cafeteria or something. Toruku and I have been waiting here for a while as well.

Sorry!!

No need to apologize.

- you have started sharing your location with {Sugawara}-

Thanks. See you in a bit.

      After discussing where I was hanging, I decided to look more into this saved contact. 'Had I really been so close to him as to have discussions with him?' I think as I decide to read a few more messages above our most recent convo. They only consisted of homework answers, tutoring questions, and a few more comments about school festivals and such. A good ten invites to a volleyball game were stored in there as well. I hadn't realized how much he had meant to me just two years ago. Time flies, taking most of your memories with you.

      A few more moments went by before a knock came upon the room's entrance door, as well as the voice of someone behind it. "Uhm— hello..? Is this the right room?"

     "No, go away," Toruku replies in a deeper, scarier voice as he shuffled towards the door to reveal Sugawara standing there alone with a frightened expression.

      Suga sighed, putting a hand over his chest while he smiled. "That gave me a heart attack." He says, fixing his eyes towards my sitting figure. "Ready to go?"

     I nod, lifting from my seat and stretching out my arms while yawning loudly. "God, I'm tired," I mumble to myself, gathering my bag and the tie and jacket I had taken off, before slowly walking over towards Sugawara. "Isn't it after practice? Shouldn't you be all tired and worked out?"

    "Oh, no. Today was only focused on the new players, which honestly didn't go so well." He explained, finishing with a soft chuckle. Though I could tell it was filled with disappointment, for the way he looked down on the floor was purely depressing.

      But quickly steered the conversation another way to distract him from it; that was the least I could do. "Oh, well, today it was just Toruku and me. But thankfully we just recorded some extra vocals so we didn't have to record the rest of the teams' jobs."

     Sugawara distracts himself, taking small glances around the room as I explain to him what we did. He observes the different colors and pictures on the walls, the furniture we helped ourselves to, and the instruments gathered onto the wall. "It looks quite comfortable in here. To be honest, I'm surprised that the school even lets you decorate this place all by yourselves."

       "They didn't, they just don't know about it. It's quite convenient if you ask me.." I mumble, shuffling from one foot to the other. What I said was no lie, we were truly blessed to have had a room to ourselves here on campus. If it wasn't for the band teacher who had shown it to us, we probably would've spent our practice time in a garage where there's no AC or comfortable floors.

      Meanwhile, Toruku explained to Sugawara the reasoning behind each decoration, I check the timing. It was 6:00 PM, just in time for my mother to get home from work.

      "Should we get going?" I ask the grey-haired boy, as he's brought back to reality. He and Toruku sharply turn, pausing their supposedly intriguing conversation, as he nodded to my question.

       "I guess so. Well, thank you for showing me this place, I never would've discovered it if it wasn't for you two." Sugawara states, bowing towards the blonde boy with a cigar.

      "Alright, I'll catch you later, Y/n. And it was nice meeting you today, Sugawara." After I have a small hug to Toruku and said my goodbyes, Suga and I were out the door.

      Our walk began with the two of us climbing down a few stairs, and jogging towards where the sidewalk actually began. From there on, it was easy getting towards the main part of campus, and walking home would be a piece of cake. For Sugawara, I mean.

       "So, do you walk home every day?" I ask, tightening my hands around my bento box. The silence between us rested heavily on my chest; not a single word left his mouth.

       But it may have been because he was stuck in his own little world, for soon after my question, he blinked his eyes a couple of times and cleared his throat. "Oh, no— not really. I only walk after practice when I stay late. But on free days, like in the morning, I ride the bus."

       Nodding, I explain my way of getting to and from school as well. "Me too. Well, usually my mother would drive me before school even started. Either that or I would ride my skateboard and hide it in some gutter. You know how angry the school gets about skateboards." I laugh, hoping he'd approve of joking with school rules. But knowing Sugawara, he probably already knew I bend some.

       "Ah, yes. That's convenient. But how far did you live before moving into [Neighborhood]? Surely not too far, right?" He questions, looking down at me for an honest answer.

        I widen my eyes at this, making my answer to his questions obvious already. "Uhm.. no! Just a mile and a half away, not a big deal.." My head turns the other way while I giggle at Sugawara's shock. It wasn't a big deal for me at all, I didn't mind getting the few extra steps in the morning. As for him, he must have not had to walk that far every day to understand. I didn't blame him for being so surprised. It wasn't every day you find someone who voluntarily walks that far.

      "Oh— that's.. that's a lot! I'm sorry that you had to do that. It must have been hell! But thankfully you have someone to join you on transportation, right?" Sugawara gives me side-eyes, as a smile appeared on his pale face.

      "Yeah.. you're right." My sentence runs low in the cold, shaking as I shift from the sidewalk to the road. The pavement felt hard and slippery due to the transition from winter to spring, yet it was still freezing outside.

      "You know... it was strange bumping into you today. To be honest, I feel like I'm fifteen again. I think that's just how you make others feel, you know?" My words come out abruptly, but I didn't mind. After today's long day all I wanted was one honest conversation.

     Thankfully, Sugawara felt the same I did. "Spending time with each other must have brought back lots of memories, even if they were small." He says to me, observing the way my feet jumped from the curb to the street.

      The feeling he brought was like a scent from years ago when you're a little kid. Whether you're reading by a window, or running through a meadow, you'd forgotten it ever even tickled your senses.

     "It's kind of strange. Even if we weren't best friends, you still meant a lot to me. I'm wondering whether or not you're still the same, and if that could be brought back." I explain, drawing out my arms to make a tree-like pose while I played hopscotch with the roads. The keychains that hung on my badge made a 'clunk!' noise against the ID, meanwhile, I discussed. "We've both changed so much, Sugawara."

       "You're right, we have. But for the better, you know? I think at the moment I'm mentally healthier than in the past year. And as for you, I think anyone can see that. I don't mean that your time of grief was a mistake, but I'm happy that you've been nicer to yourself."

       "Yeah, me too." My words stutter, interrupted by the loud engine behind me. Sugawara and I quickly turn towards the noise, widening our eyes at how close the vehicle was. Suddenly, an ear-piercing honk is signaled from the driver, and I'm quickly pulled from in front of the car to under a streetlight in one's arms.

       The action is hasty and happened in just a split second, but enough to save me from being run over. Barely comprehending what had just occurred, I freeze in place just like the slippery road. And as the car honks off, I'm left, once again, alone with Suga. Only this time, uncomfortably in his arms.

     Lightning travels down my back once I realize I was being held by a stronger, warmer body. Both my arms were being tightly held by his, and my body barely being separated from his by an inch. I stared right into his eyes, as he did so as well.

     "Y/n, you. you've got to be careful. Be careful."

      Sugawara's words ring in my ears, as I rapidly blink to regain consciousness. Immediately after, a scatter to search for my school bag, which was thrown only a few feet away from me. After retrieving it, I quickly stand onto my feet and turn to Suga, who's already prepared to continue our walk.

      "I'll be careful."

      With that, the two of us continue our journey towards home in silence once more.

      I've gotta be careful with Sugawara.

——

Thanks for coming back to read :) I know my story is crappy but I've only been writing for a little so you could understand why. Please please vote for my chapters, thank you.

- star

[el-pintor]

Thoughts about the Christmas special

This will be a long, long, long post...

First, I write about ZhanYi and then about Tianshan.

ZhanYi:

Jian Yi's comment about his strength:

— Jian Yi mentions that he is so strong that he could pull trees out. This is pretty interesting information. Because this could indicate the time during the kidnapping, depending on how seriously you can interpret the statements. Did he continue to train or drill? Is it the result of training with He Cheng?

- In addition, this drunk talking could also refer to earlier chapters. Jian Yi has a desire to become stronger because he felt helpless against Mo. Incidentally, it is the first appearance of Mo.

The apartment:

— Whose apartment is this? Probably Zhen Xis, since Jian Yi is only at Xi's apartment in the future chapters. In contrast to earlier insights, the apartment is also pretty tidy.

– However, the interior differs massively from the previous chapters. I don't expect Zhen Xi and Jian Yi to be living together at this point. Old Xian just may not have used the previous references.

— So the connection between the two seems to be as strong as ever since Xi possibly brings him home to his flat instead to Jian Yi's.

- And another proof of how much Xi's character has changed. Because in the beginning, he didn't want anything more than kicking out Yi as soon as he showed up.

- He also apparently abandoned the violent nature. Instead of beating him up, he sits down on the couch with him in an embrace and falls asleep. He doesn't even take off his jacket, but lets Jian Yi willingly hug him.

- Somehow cute. Nevertheless, I hope that he will soon no longer keep Jian Yi friendzoned and return his feelings.

- Just as home furnishings have changed, Zheng Xi's character has changed.

— But maybe that's Jian Yi's apartment after all. No one knows about his living condition.

- Does he live alone? Or with his mother? Maybe he's back in He Cheng's care? Does Zheng Xi even know Jian Yi's address?

I hope we can find out more soon.

Tianshan

I think there are a lot of inconsistencies and you don't really get their behavior.

First of all a few trivial comments.

Rings:

- He Tian wears the ring he took himself as a gift. Coincidentally, it also fits like a glove. Either it would be too big for Mo anyway, or you can adjust the ring.

- In the first panel, it seems that Mo is also wearing a ring.

He Tian flirting:

- He Tian goes straight to the attack and leaves no unnecessary time and doubts about his intentions: After flirting, he just takes off his jacket and throws himself and Mo on the bed.

- He is hopelessly in love and love everything about Mo.

- That Mo has a newfound interest on studying turns he even more on.

- I think despite the fact that the room is too small for him, he will develop a secret preference for the bed. Because it's narrow and there is no place to escape and to keep a certain distance. So perfectly made for  cuddling and sticking close together.

The apartment, Room, whatever you can call it:

- I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books).

- The guitar on his bed plus other books.

- At first I thought that the "apartment" consists of only one room, but the kitchen and at least the bathroom are missing.

- it's quite empty and reminds of He Tian's empty apartment.

- Still, it's pretty run down and seems so cold. I hope Mo doesn't freeze.

Living condition:

- The question, of course, would be why Mo lives under this condition, although he would have it better in his mother's old apartment.

- Did he want to become independent as quickly as possible and therefore moved out so as not to further burden his mother?

- However, I hardly think that his mother would have been satisfied with the condition of the apartment, because the condition is worrying. I don't think he invites his mother over to his house.

-I don't know if that is standard in China when you don't have money. In addition, 19 is still quite young. Many people still live with their parents at this age.

- Did something happen to the mother? Hopefully not.

But maybe Mo is just rebellious and proud that he could afford something of his own.

Indications of Mos' current activity.

- As I said, I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books). Which of course is totally untypical for Mo, since he was never interested in books and learning.

- Are these cook and music books?

- Can someone tell me what's written on this book?

- The book in He Tian's hand has an unusual book form. So I suspect that this is a music book with notes or tabs. It seems to be at least a book for studying.

- So does Mo study anything with music and do his part-time jobs to finance it?

- Does he study anything else?

- Does he go to university at all?

- Or does he really earn his money only with part-time jobs? Obviously he won't make much money with it, so they could only be an interim solution if Mo didn't want to keep this lifestyle for life.

- For the university in China you need a lot of money, which you couldn't pay on your own. But there is the possibility of scholarships (I just assume that there is also something like that in China). Maybe he got a music scholarship?

- Mo doesn't seem to have many things. Of course, the books and the guitar are striking.

The guitar

- At first glance, the guitar is reminiscent of He Tian's guitar, which he would like to give to Mo.

- If you take a closer look, they are identical in shape and color, but they are two completely different guitars.

- He Tian's guitar is an acoustic (or concert) guitar and Mo's is an electric guitar.

- Could it be a little mistake from Old Xian?

- Perhaps this is also a later gift from He Tian after Mo learned to play guitar with the acoustic guitar and get advanced. A lot of people start with an acoustic guitar before playing electric guitar.

- Maybe the guitar is from the same serial production.

- Maybe He Tian owns the acoustic guitar and buys an electric guitar for Mo from the same series after Mo's interest for learning guitar has been completely awakened.

- By the way, you need a guitar amplifier for full fun with an electric guitar. I didn't see it in his room.

- Unless this could be an amp. Does anyone know what this thing could be? For me this could be organizers.

- It's s also extremely inconvenient in an apartment to turn it up fully. (Do more people actually live there? The apartment looks more like an old rehearsal room or a garage. My rehearsal room looked something like this, that's why the associations).

- You can also play the electric guitar on headphones, but that's pretty impractical because of the sound (it differs, if you use headphones ir not) and you still need an amp.

- By the way, music it's a costly pleasure. So, it is all the more interesting what exactly Mo does and how he finances everything.

- But I think those are little things that Old Xian probably doesn't think about (something that you easily can forget) .

- I wonder if Mo is in a band. Maybe with Zhen Xi together.

So now to the most complicated point:

Hey Tian, ​​his disappearance and the relationship with Mo.

- One learns that He Tian was not in China for a while.

Many questions arise from this:

- When was he gone?

- How long was he gone?

- Has he been away for a long period of time or is it a coming and going? A lot of it is pretty unclear, so you could guess both.

- The fact that He Tian was away for a long time speaks for the fact that he has never been to Mo's apartment. Has Mo just recently moved there?

- What is also new for him is that Mo reads books or even studies. You should actually know that if you were in regular contact. So is this a recent Mo hobby? That is rather unlikely. So how much did they really have to do with each other in the 4 years?

— However, there are some arguments against staying longer:

- He Tian knows where Mo works. If He Tian had been away for years, how would he know where Mo works? From Jian Yi or Zahn Xi? Maybe from Mo himself? Mo would most likely not give it away. So He Tian should at least stop by for visits.

- The second thing that speaks against it, is that Mo knows where He Tian lives. He Tian probably didn't change his apartment, but could have been if you weren't in the country for a long period of time. At least that doesn't indicate radio silence.

The relationship with Mo:

- After the chapters and all the hints, it was thought that the penny had finally fallen between the two, but no.

- Their relationship to each other has not really changed.

- Mo is still dismissive to He Tian.

There are several reasons about this matter:

— 1. Mo feels hurt and probably betrayed too.

- He Tian asked Mo in middle school not to abandom him. Now HE was the one who left and left Mo behind. Depending on the point in time at which this occurred, it is logical to first react in a negative manner.

— Nevertheless, He Tian seems to be a part of Mo's life, which he does not really want to give up and maybe also gives evidence that he might misses him.

The following aspect indicate

- He lit a cigarette, reminiscent of He Tian.

- He is still wearing his earrings.

- In addition, the design of his electric guitar is similar to He Tian's.

— 2. Mo couldn't build a closer bond with He Tian because He Tian left the country right after middle school.

- How can you build a relationship if you hardly see or not see each other?

- Mo has problems with trust. So I can imagine, that this could be extremely bitter for him and he is angry. Especially if he had open up to He Tian and then his gone.

— 3. Mo is just too stubborn to admit his feelings and get involved with He Tian and is a tsundere, so he have to act this way.

- Definition of a tsundere: "A tsundere is a character, most often female and in anime, who switches from being tough and cold towards a love interest into being soft and sweet"

- Well, I'm not so keen on these whole tsundere explanations. Of course his character is like a tsundere but it would be to simple to explain his character so one sided.

- Even tsundere characters can make progress and that's what I missing. The reationship between those two is going back and forth mostly two steps back and one forth. It's like they are stuck in this, just like ZhanYi are stuck in their relationship. But in this matter you know that Jian was gone for three years. Still I hoped Zhan Xi would finally admit his feelings, but he rather go with the safety zone. The case of Tianshan is way more complicated: You don't know what happened between them in these years. But He Tian seems to be in love more than ever and Mo seems to that he still hasn't figured out his feelings and doesn’t give the attention that He Tian wants. Mo is 18 or 19, not 15 anymore and I wish he would act more mature. But on the other hand, He Tian is really pushy again and is testing his limits. It's understandable that Mo acts irritated.

- So I think they are still don't there where you can call this a mutual relationship.

- They will eventually in the future, but this will take a lot more time obviously and they have a long road ahead.

Of course there is progress:

- Mo seems to have grown used to He Tian's approach.

- He is less aggressive, can even be touched, and he doesn't immediately panic. In the other special he even voluntarily shares a room with He Tian.

- On the other hand, He Tian seems to have become more courageous, so you thought, they really started out with a physical relationship.

- He gives away condoms, hugs him profusely, and tries to get to his butt (other special).

- Maybe they really did have an on-off thing.

- Old Xian indicated that He Tian was allowed to stay the night. So Mo doesn't throw him out. The only question is whether he is allowed to sleep in bed or whether the floor has to suffice.

- So yeah, for me this is really confusing.

Other abnormalities:

- Where's the dog?

- Did Xi stays true to the music? So far there has not been a hint of a musical instrument at his flat.

- What about Yi? Does he continue to play the guitar?

- And He Tian?

- When and why did Mo get his second piercing?

- He Tian doesn't seem to wear the chain with ring. Maybe he get it later?

[nemesesengine]

Interview with Fear of Water

It's been quite a while since I wrote an article here. Fact of the matter is, for the longest time I was afraid that I was falling out of love with music. In today's cesspool of djenty 0-0-0-1s, bro-metal and achy breaky heart related subject matter, I started to feel suffocated, desperately reeling towards that windowsill, clawing at it to get a breath of fresh air. Originality had become a dying art. All hope was gone.

UNTIL I stumbled upon this crazy talented guy here on instagram @fearofwater

[Subject : Dave Perry]

[Designation : Drums/Vocals/Guitars]

I was searching for Sevendust covers one day to inspire doing one of my own, and what was awaiting me was the FRESHEST take of their acoustic song 'Bonfire' off of Time Travelers & Bonfires. People usually cover a song note for note, with a last minute vocal melody change towards the end, but this - This was... HEAVY. Groovy. Yet melodic. There was a Clint Lowery PRS as a weapon of choice in the thumbnail, so I knew this guy was serious about his shit.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, as I played it.

And from the moment the crunch kicked in, it hit me like a flying brick to the face. Instant K.O, ladies and gentlemen!

I tried getting up, but the man was owning every instrument in there. There's a MEAN solo in there too... I'll post an embedded video down below shortly, but in that moment I KNEW that I had to talk to this guy. He made this song his own, and his work was the shot in the arms I was looking for.

I recently got to sit down with him and have a chat.

So what got you into music and how long have you been doing it for?

I had extensive bouts of sickness and infection from birth which caused long term damage on my hearing and other aspects of my health. Several surgeries, a dozen medications and years of speech therapy helped me finally get back to somewhat normal but from a development standpoint, I was years behind kids my age. I struggled greatly with all my academics, any form of memorization and even a large amount of motor skill related tasks. I have always gravitated towards music, even when I was clinically deaf due to my illness as a child. My family has VHS tapes of baby Dave sitting next to giant speakers because I could feel the vibrations of Genesis, The Stones and Springsteen. Once I regained my hearing, I would OBSESSIVELY listen to any and everything, actually gravitating towards jazz early on. That being said, I had zero musical abilities or talent.

I tried out for band in 4th grade, I wanted to play sax so damn bad. In my mind, that instrument was the epitome of cool. My try out on a plastic recorder was beyond horrible, so the band director relegated me to the percussion section. It quickly became clear that drums were for the rejects that wanted to be in band but couldn’t hang with the other performers.

At first I was biter but I quickly discovered Nirvana, Metallica and NIN. I quickly understood that rock doesn’t live without drums and I became dedicated to embracing this instrument. I struggled for two years, had absolutely zero ambidexterity. I felt like a marionette and I couldn’t clip the strings. I tried and tried to no avail.

Then in the spring of 1996, I very vividly remember listening to Load by Metallica, specifically Ain’t my Bitch. I was listening to the song over and over, air drumming on my lap during a multi-hour car ride when I felt a very distinct “pop” in my head. All the sudden I felt like the strings were finally clipped and I finally achieved ambidexterity. Over the next year, everything fell in to place: my academic drastically improved, my memory came back out of nowhere and I became obsessed with drums. From that point on, I knew that music was going to be an integral part of my life so I dedicated the vast majority of my free time to learning as many instruments and music as possible. 24 years later I’m still going.

What was the first song you ever learnt?

Ohhhh....good question. On drums it was In Bloom by Nirvana. That intro/hook drum fill was my absolute favorite. On guitar, probably anything/everything on SMASH by Offspring.

Most people spend the better part of their years learning one instrument, but you're pretty much a one-man-band. What was the driving force behind learning more than one trade?

Going back to my first answer, I came to the understanding that I had unlocked this skill set and I needed to explore it as much as I can. I’m still learning new things every year. My mom’s side of the family has been incredibly musical for several generations so I’m starting with a good tool kit.

(Embedded below is Dave's kickass cover to Sevendust's 'Bonfire')

What's your go-to song when you pick up the guitar or sit behind the kit?

Drums: March of the Pigs by NIN. It was the first “complex” beat I ever learned. The idea of playing in 5/4 initially blew my mind but once I got it, I couldn’t stop.

Guitar: Sad but True by Metallica. It will forever be the ultimate metal song to me.

Your biggest inspiration?

A three way tie between Trent Reznor, Dave Grohl and Clint Lowery. They are all multi-instrumentalists that are great people who have maintained a strong career through changing genres and tough times (addiction, loss, legal battles, etc.)

What's your fondest musical memory?

That “pop” in 1996 was pretty damn magical. In recent history, it was playing to a sold out crowd opening up for Pop Evil last year in Wisconsin. The crowd energy was electric and that feeling is addictive!

As a casual bedroom guitarist myself, I feel like very often we reach plateaus and don't even realize it - After doing music for so long, how do you think one can assess their skills?

I think it’s important to always be trying new things, especially if you’re uncomfortable with it: new styles, new tubings, new instruments, writing original when you’ve only done covers. If you’re really struggling, then that’s a benchmark for that moment but now you have a goal, set your sights and push through.

Are you happy with where the rock scene is currently at? How do you think we can make it better?

Yes and no. The music industry as a whole will never be the same with the advent of streaming and stealing music. It has made an already unlikely career a near impossibility for most. That being said, newer tools allow for more casual musicians to get their music in front of people they never could have otherwise. Specifically Rock: it’s still a live in several different genres. I know my generation will keep it alive as long as we can.

If you were stuck on an island indefinitely, what one album would you take with you?

Assuming I have a device on which I can play said album? 😊 The Colour and the Shape by Foo Fighters. It’s a masterpiece.

Who's one lesser known musician you think people should know about?

Danny Schmitz (from Milwaukee, lives in NYC). He has a killer band, Lost in a Name, and is also a stellar solo artist & producer. The man can shred and we’ve collaborated on a few songs that you can hear at www.facebook.com/TheFearOfWater

And what does the future hold for Dave Perry? Any closing words?

A metric shit ton of music! You will be able to find four albums of Fear of Water music on all major steaming and download sites over the next couple of months. I also have several new videos that I’ll be publishing on YouTube and Facebook this winter as well. 🤘🏼🤘🏼

[lefthanded-sans]

Heya! You're a linguist, right? Any advice for someone who would love to get into English linguistics with a burning passion, but don't see that as being possible owing to the fact that they're a foreigner/not a native speaker and are afraid they might not get any work because of it other than translation (and I'm guessing the pay isn't that great anyway)? Or just, what's it like being a linguist?

Heyaaaa! Great to chat with you again! Sorry for being so slow responding to you, and I hope this answer helps!

I’ll go through all of these questions, because why not? I want to help as much as I can, and I’m always willing to help and talk more. I’ll also be backtracking and talking some basics of what it means to be a linguist, just so that other people who read this can follow along with the discussion. 

What it’s like being a linguist!

Unlike what many people might suspect, linguistics isn’t a field about speaking a ton of languages. While many linguists speak more than one tongue fluently, that’s because we love language, not because that’s the heart of our profession. Linguistics is the scientific study of language, and it covers everything from how we anatomically pronounce words, to the physical acoustic properties of language, to how words and sentences are structured, to how we humans socially respond to language, and more. It means there are a ton of subfields in linguistics, and that linguistics can often get interdisciplinary.

My primary subfield all throughout my undergraduate and graduate work was phonetics, which is the study of language at its smallest sound units. I studied the acoustic properties of sounds, how the vocal tract biologically was made up and moved to create these sounds, the acoustic makeup of all the tiny sound units in a language (often represented as letters in languages) - aka phonemes, how the presence of one sound unit can alter how another is pronounced, things like phrasal tone where your voice pitch varies throughout a sentence, and more.

While I love phonetics, the truth is that the high majority of my career work hasn’t been in phonetics. Almost all of my work has been in the semantic-syntactic interface - where the meaning of sentences interacts with how sentences are structured. In a given day of work, I’ll receive hoards of written sentences online from a computer database. My overseers will tell me how they want me to analyze and organize the data, usually through some sort of annotation scheme where I make notes on top of the sentences. I analyze how meaning is embedded through the structure of the sentences according to that annotation scheme, then send the data back to be processed by computers. That’s because most of my work has to do with machine learning. For computers to get better at understanding sentences, we feed data with annotations to them to help them understand how to parse sentences. Then, they can make future better “comprehension” choices on their own with new sentences they receive. This has a variety of applications, including improving online search functions or making virtual assistants like Siri and Amazon Echo understand you better.

There is a somewhat fair though not unending amount of work to be found in this area, if you know where to look.

Now, I’m going to be transparent about the financial situation and work stability situation of my jobs. That way, you can decide whether or not it’s something you want to gamble yourself. And it is a little gamble because I’m not living a full-time, steady, long-term job. Currently, I work as a contract consultant, annotator, and adjudicator. Sometimes clients will hire me to look at their data for one month, three months, or in the luckiest cases, a year. This means I am constantly looking for new work, I don’t have any health, etc. benefits because I’m part-time (this is of course an issue for my country, not internationally), and I often am doing one to four contracts simulntaneously. There’s also something to be said that, even when I’m hired for a position, data comes in SPURTS - sometimes there are weeks where I’m twiddling my thumbs doing nothing, and other weeks where I am overloaded with tight deadlines and have to work around the clock. 

In all of my positions, I’m working temporarily with clients in part-time temporary jobs. It’s remote work where I can choose the hours of the day I work, chill in my pajamas at home, all sorts of great stuff. I communicate with my coworkers or superiors almost entirely through email and online chat, with the RARE Skype call or face-to-face meeting.I tend to get my contracts through a company called Appen or by connecting with old peers from my university days (I still work for my university’s cognitive science research department, in fact). I started doing annotations part-time when I was an undergraduate sophomore in 2012 and was paid about $11 an hour. Now, I make about $18-20 per hour for my contract positions. Specifically, I have slowly bargained up my pay from about $12 to $20 in the last year. So I’m getting increasingly paid higher with each new gig. I don’t know how much higher I can increasingly climb, but it’s not bad pay when I get enough hours (and hours is where it’s hardest to win).

Other linguists will have different types of jobs than me. There is a ton of work - and good stable work! - in the computational linguistics field if you’re interesting in programming and working with the computer side of studying language. That’s the safest gamble. Other linguists will contact indigenous people groups to study endangered languages, and spend their days either out in the field recording speech with tape recorders, or studying the language closely in their office. Others will get their TOEFL certificates and teach English to non-native speakers. Lots of different things that might come up. Again, if you know where to look, and if you’re creative enough to know how to apply your degree to different things.

You’re right that translation is one of the areas you see the most job openings for. Depending on all the languages you know, it’ll be easier or harder to break into. I’ve never looked into translation. I doubt I’d get hired, first of all; I live in a an area which has a high percentage of bilingual Spanish speakers, so everyone’s going to hire the people who speak both Spanish and English fluently and natively (as versus me, who grew up in a monolingual household and started to learn Spanish at thirteen years old). Lots of translation jobs even specify that they want you to be a NATIVE speaker of the language you’re translating, which means that someone like me who came from a monolingual household is 100% out of luck. The other reason why I don’t do translation is because, while there are some translation jobs that pay okay, lots of them don’t, and lots of them in my country/state aren’t full-time. I’ve seen a number of translation positions that pay you by the number of words or pages you translate, and the pay isn’t that pretty when you add it up. 

That’s not true for all translation jobs, though, especially if you happen to speak high demand but less commonly spoken languages for your region (in my area, something like Arabic or Bangladeshi could get you a pretty penny). ASL (American Sign Language) translator jobs in my country are always nice gigs. And people who speak English as a second language and something else “uncommon” as their first language have a pretty good shot of being hired for something.

But I know translation isn’t what you’re interested in. Which is fair.

Now, as far as breaking into English linguistics as a non-native speaker, you’re right that you’ll probably run into obstacles, but they’re not imposssssssible to get around. Especially if your verbal speech is anything like the writing you do for English, you’re almost certainly FINE. This following discussion is more specifically for the academic community of linguistics, but what I would do whenever I wanted to study a language I didn’t speak… was get an academic partner who did. And in many types of studies you do, depending on your linguistics subfield, you won’t even need to worry about that. Honestly the biggest challenge isn’t whether English is your first language or not, because linguists get their fingers over any language whenever and wherever they can… the biggest challenge is that English has been very thoroughly studied academically in linguistics compared to many other languages. VERY thoroughly studied. Whereas I had an easier time finding unstudied topics in languages like Khmer, I’d be harder pressed to find easy research areas in languages like Mandarin or Spanish. Buuuuuuuuut there are still many, many Unknowns I have come across in English linguistics - for instance, lots and lots and lots that needs to be done in the sociolinguistic arena. Most of my doctorate peers wrote their second year papers on English. Granted, that was a sample size of five people, but nevertheless. There are still things to be said about the language academically, if you know where and how to look.

Whether or not this’ll be a big hindrance to you depends on more choices than “I want to study English linguistics.” It reaaaaaally depends what subfield you want to get into, whether you go into graduate school, whether you want to enter lingusitics academia or something else, and where you live and how accessible/fluent English is to your overall populace. In some fields more than others, you may find barriers. So be careful, but don’t rule out opportunities completely. I’ll point out I’ve seen native speakers of Arabic, Russian, Spanish, Japanese, Polish, and Mandarin professionally study English… so it’s certainly something that’s not uncommon or impossible!

[sulatni-flerida]

~ at umibig ka sa agham

in English : and you fell in love with science

/// original pinoy music (opm), filipino

emosyon sa bandang agham (Acoustic) by Franz Guico

spotify link

https://open.spotify.com/album/1RmdFbixmhTFbixeaKYSya?si=IZHPxPVXSiKu2m0C6KmmGg&dl_branch=1

emosyon sa bandang agham (emotion in the strand of science) is a single with the acoustic version of three songs written by Franz Guico. these songs are the first ones released on his Spotify, and they are really worth listening to.

allow me to share my thoughts below the cut. interpretations are my own and may not be fully accurate.

all songs are sung in Filipino and accompanied by a guitar. simple, really, but the gorgeous vocals and the plucks on the guitar can tug your heart strings. they start off soft, but gradually get intense as the songs overflow with emotions.

i listened to the single the previous night as of me writing this, and let me tell you, i actually got the goosebumps. because of that, i'm gonna go on an "about the song" and "my reactions" for all three. right now. go.

the first song, ikaw na ang buhay ko, (you are now my life), definitely hit me the hardest. the song feels like a love letter to someone you already lost your chances with. it apologizes for hiding and not admitting true emotions and feelings, something all of us have difficulty showing. the letter's also saying that there truly is no other person than the one it's dedicated to. really, ikaw na ang buhay ko.

"sorry na hindi ko nasabi sa'yo na gusto kita..."

(in English : sorry that i didn't tell you that i liked you.)

as i mentioned, i feel like all of us have difficulty in admitting and showing our feelings, especially the romantic ones. cue here the pining, the stolen glances, the daydreams, and the thoughts we store at the back of our heads. yes, we want this person, but we don't have to courage to say it in their face.

it sucks. a lot.

ikaw na ang buhay ko was followed by tuktok, (the top). i see it as a song about an ending, sharing past experiences and days in the sun. it's a song about changing and how there's more to come despite everything we've just experienced. although there are changes, the memories we had still won't leave us.

i find it lighter than the first song, despite it being about endings and changes. as they say, every end is a new beginning, right?

"sabay nating tuklasin, sabay nating abutin ang tuktok"

(in English : let's discover together, let's reach the top together)

it gives me graduation vibes, (and i kinda know why). it makes me nostalgic about my own past experiences and all the people i met from back in elementary.

i get deja vu from this song.

the last song was called tatahimik, (will be quiet).

this feels more of a love song, about avoiding feelings and events. it reminds me of high school love, of trying to figure out how you actually feel about people. and the chorus. the chorus being about staying silent and forgetting the pain you feel, pain being caused by all the emotions.

"limutin ang aking nararamdaman na sakit at tatahimik na lang ako"

(in English : forget the pain i'm feeling and be quiet instead)

it reminds me of sacrifices in the sense that you won't speak up because you wouldn't want to burden the person. it's that moment you realize you're in love with your best friend and you don't confess because you don't want to ruin your friendship with them, it's insisting you're fine despite feeling the complete opposite because you wouldn't want to bother others with your problems. it gives me those vibes, and they're painful.

somehow, in my ears, the song makes it sound painfully beautiful.

in short, emosyon sa bandang agham is a masterpiece. i definitely recommend listening to it.

looking forward to Kuya Franz's future songs. hope you will, too. :))