#I just needed to get it off my chest

[all-thestories-aretrue]

There are many jokes floating around the shadowgast nation about the nature of Caleb and Essek's relationship (eggplants and winky faces abound), and most of them are good natured and perhaps true (eventually or at some point). I find most of them entertaining and sweet, but some of what I have stumbled across post-reunion have highlighted that it's only a joke up to a certain point to me.

Please keep in mind that everything in this post is my opinion and my opinion only. I'm not asking that anyone agree with me. This post is mainly for me because I felt like I needed to make it.

I have seen several comments/posts/tags in many different places talking about Essek and Caleb and that scene in the reunion, and describing it as horny or saying they can't keep their hands off each other or following up that conversation with sexual intimacy. I know a lot of these comments or conversations are not malicious or ill-intentioned, and I understand that people are excited for the first new content in nearly 2 years.

But, one thing I have appreciated about Critical Role is the variety of sexuality and genders represented, including various asexual and aromantic identities. Essek is confirmed by Matt on Twitter to be demi (romantic or sexual is unclear to me so it could be taken as either. If anyone has any other sources I would greatly appreciate them). As someone who identifies as aspec, I deeply appreciate the representation that Critical Role has given me.

The shadowgast scene in the reunion was not sexual to me. It's only been six months since the end of c2, which granted, I have not completed yet. As of this writing, I am in the middle of episode 133. Whatever is going on between Caleb and Essek is still very new, especially for two people who thought they would never have love. An aspect of being demi is that it takes time and closenes and a strong emotional bond for romantic and/or sexual feelings to develop. Six months, to me, feels like an incredibly short time for those feelings to take root for Essek even if he is on the path of developing them.

Seeing people make light of Essek's sexual attraction or feelings for Caleb or treat them as common place or casual, even innocuously, has made me feel as though this aspect of Essek really is ignored or forgotten about sometimes. Not by everyone nor, I would even doubt, the majority. Maybe not intentionally or maliciously or maybe it's a lack of understanding about demisexuality or aspec identities.

This is a feeling I have had for a while, and I mean this about nothing in particular but rather a sum of the parts I have encountered over the months.

In addition, I think Essek's sexuality can be overshadowed by how sexual Caleb can be/is. He makes comments throughout the entirety of the campaign that directly or indirectly reveal his sexuality, and that part is clearly important to him, even if he has not acted on it in a very long time.

I am not saying that Essek is NOT sexually attracted to Caleb or that their relationship does not involve sex at some point or at the time of that scene. I do think, at the very least, that Caleb and Essek would have a conversation about it as some point, and I find it likely it would turn sexual. At the very least, Caleb is attracted to Essek. Liam has confirmed that. I would guess those feelings are a combination of romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.

But I cannot imagine, and again this is my opinion, that feeling sexual attraction or acting on it for the perhaps first or second, maybe third time, is not a life-altering moment for him, let alone acting on it. From what see of his character, he's extrmely gaurded, extremely lonely, extremely shameful. Showing his emotions and attraction to Caleb, or to anyone really, is an extreme show of trust and vulnerability, and I don't think it should be taken lightly.

Treating it, at least in those early months, as though it is common or casual, something taken for granted, feels, to me, as though it undermines the importance and gravity of Essek's feelings, whatever they may be. Further, it undermines aspec identities, relegating them to sidelines if it is even acknowledged at all. I feel as though a lot of the jokes ignore Essek's demisexuality and how integral it is to how he builds relationships and interacts with people.

As someone who is aspec, I find it disheartening to see these sort of jokes and offhand comments being circulated about a character who is confirmed, canon aspec whose identity centers on deep bonds that take time to develop. Applying sexual under/overtones to scene where a small chaste kiss and an innocent pet name are shared feels like, in a way, a forced sexualization of a new, developing relationship that may never turn sexual.

There is such little aspec representation in media, and Critical Role does a fantastic job of showcasing a variety of aspec identities which is so, so rare. To turn around and have the fandom ignore or disregard these identities (intentional or not) that the cast and crew work hard to incorporate feels bad. It makes me feel as though I still have to fight for my identity to be seen and understood by people who, theoretically, support and want to understand and respect various identities, who claim to love Essek and Caleb and their relationship. It hurts.

I have spent a lot of time convincing myself that I and my sexuality belong in the queer community, that I deserve to have a voice, that I deserve to be respected and heard. With my feelings about Essek and his demisexuality, I didn't feel right standing by any longer and remaining silent when these portrayals were bothering me.

I am not asking anyone to change their opinions, to agree with me, to change the fic they write, the art they draw. The Critical Role fandom is beautiful and amazing and absolutely incredible. I have met so many kind, caring, wonderful people since joining. It's an experience unlike any other. But, I needed to make this post for me and anyone else who was feeling like me.

[justacynicalromantic]

Original "I. Will. Teach. You. Respect" Ozai:

- publicly humiliates and mutilates his son for daring to speak up out of turn in his presence. Sends him away on a quest Ozai thinks he will never complete purely because he wants to get rid of him

Adaptation Ozai:

- genuinely asks for Zuko's opinion BEFORE anyone of his generals

- tries to steer his thought process to teach him tactics (his cold-blooded tactics but still)

- just sighs disappointedly when Zuko fails to crack the war tactic problem

- Zuko actually insults the general - for which Ozai calls for an Agni Kai - which then defeats all reason for him to stand in the general's place, because why would the Fire Lord be someone's proxy defending their honour in a duel? Make it make sense😭

- patiently waits for Zuko to get over his panic at having to go against his dad

- makes it obvious that the whole point of this "exercise" is to "toughen Zuko up" and make him fight back, even against his father - because after Zuko being squeamish about sacrificing recruits, Ozai now fears Zuko grew up too soft and pampered

- VISITS ZUKO'S BEDSIDE (I almost spit out my juice at that one). And he actually genuinely looks like a worried dad there lol

- never intends to send Zuko away and does so RELUCTANTLY only after witnessing that Zuko still stands by his belief that the weak should not just be sacrificed for the good of the kingdom

Basically, they turned Ozai from a psychopath, who didn't care at all about his children and would gleefully see Zuko die and then dance on his grave, into a "tough love" type of dad

The second hand embarrassment I feel at this🫠🫠🫠

[stinalotte]

I might be opening a can of worms with this, but I want to talk about a take I've seen a few times now: that shipping pairings that involve two white cis men is somehow racist and sexist. There is an implicit "demand" to ship more femslash and/or POC characters. Sometimes this is tagged with "#activism".

Which, my dear friend, no.

Shipping is not activism. You do not have a moral obligation to smush two characters together because they tick the right identity boxes. Shipping is a fandom activity that does not need to pass a purity test.

I ship characters because I see chemistry. And naturally, it's easier to see chemistry between well-developed characters. And yes, the fact that female and POC characters are often underdeveloped can indeed be rooted in sexism and racism. But shipping them is not activism. (Conversely, shipping white middle-aged men is not a moral failing).

We need to stop applying all these purity filters to ships. I remember a time where you would get crucified in fandom for shipping a queer ship. Now that's normal. So some people apply the next filter: are you shipping the right queer characters?

We need to take a step back (and touch grass, her cynical Gen X ass added). Activism is for the real world. These characters aren't real. We play pretend and make them kiss in our heads because it's fun.

Ship what and who you like in fandom (even—gasp!—heterosexual couples if you want), and examine your racist and sexist biases in the real world. You can do both. But don't substitute one for the other.

[inkdrinkerworld]

im never going out without my headphones ever again! there were so many people out today and i have never gotten that overstimulated that quickly :( even though i went with my mum and sister, i almost had an anxiety attack

[autumn-foxfire]

I constantly see people on here joke about how people should be bullied and I hate it.

My bullies have fucked up my self-confidence to the point where I can't make phone calls without panicking because I'm terrified of being judged, I think everyone is laughing at me behind my back, I hate myself for not being perfect. I cry over making mistakes and isolate myself from people because I don't think I deserve to be near them. I overthink every interaction I have with people in fear I've fucked up in some way.

All because a bunch of girls in high school decided to mock a shy girl who struggled to make friends because she didn't know how. The only friend I had, to stop herself from being bullied, even turned around and mocked me to my bullies so they would think she was cool.

I saw her do this one day, on a school field trip. I was just minding my own business and daydreaming as I watched out the window only to unfortunately come back to earth at the same time I saw my "friend" pointing and snickering at me with two other girls. I didn't even have to say anything to her, the next day she came to me to apologise but the damage had been done.

I cried that night. I still cry thinking about it.

So no, I don't think people should be "bullied" again. Or that they haven't been "bullied enough" and I think people should stop asking for it because they don't agree with the person or find their interests to be "cringe".

You don't even need to ask to bring bullying back, you already did by saying people deserve to be so just because they're different.

[damn-daemon]

I'm too busy to do anything with it, but I want y'all to know, somewhere in the back of my mind, there is a story about these two playing out.

[tweakerist]

so i got an ask about the minor background relationship thats gonna be included in nyi saying that they're gonna stop reading nyi because they don't like the pairing. im not gonna answer to the ask because i feel like i have to make a general post about it since i have a few things to say that i think anyone who reads nyi should know, so here it is.

first of all, i wanna make it clear that i completely understand. if anyone ever finds that my writing isn't up to their standards or personal preference, then it's completely okay to move on from it, it's always up to the reader to decide if they want to keep supporting my fics or not. i'm not putting a gun to your heads and forcing you to like what i do, you can walk away whenever you feel like it, my feelings won't be hurt (unless you're rude about it) and even then, i got a thick skin and i promise you i'll live lol

now, regarding this particular ask. sadly for you, anon, yes, the pairing that's gonna happen (as i mentioned before in an older ask, it'll be in the background and it'll only be implied) is in fact style (stan and kyle) and i understand if you really hate that concept so much that you think you can't keep reading just because crumbs of it will be sprinkled in. sure, it's sad to know that it's such a big deal breaker for you, but everyone has things they like and things they don't like and that's fine. i do hope that, in the future, maybe you'll give my writing another chance. this is all i have to say if your intention was to let me know that you no longer support nyi.

however, im autistic and reading between the lines is kind of hard for me sometimes, so just in case, if your intention was to stop me or try to persuade me not to include this storyline in nyi, unfortunately, i'll have to say no.

i think it's clear to see (or at least i hope that it's clear to see lol) that i tend to prioritize personality traits and character development over having big, convoluted plots, it's kind of my guilty pleasure ngl, and believe it or not, even tho nyi isn't written down completely, i have been planning this fic for a while, and everything i want to include in it has already been set.

when i decided that stan was gonna have a part in nyi, or literally any other character that isn't craig, you'll see that their actions that are described in detail are always related to craig and the impact they have in HIS life. take this for an example, in case i'm not explaining myself correctly, when stan quits his job at nebula records, he has a personal reason for it that i know of (because i plan to write a different fic from his point of view) but you, the reader of nyi, you're completely unaware of why he does it, and you only know what craig knows, which is that he now has a job at a record shop thanks to stan quitting. that's it. you see stan, you read his name and you know the role he plays only in regards of how his own decisions affect craig's life. so, that's exactly how everything else will unfold regarding any character that isn't craig himself! i can assure you, nyi won't deviate from its own plot, it won't sideline craig and tweek's story to prioritize stan and kyle or anyone else for that matter.

so, why am i so insisting on this pairing happening if the focus will only be in craig (and tweek)? well, for now all i can say is trust me, you'll have to see for yourself when it happens, but i can tell you this, if i decided to include it in nyi, then it has a purpose, which means, as i've explained before, that it will have a significance in craig's life in one way or another.

[ratasum]

Love when people say "I don't like to be rude" before proceeding to be super rude to me when I'm just doing my job.

[neomoments]

vent

i'm really fucking scared of the world right now

i'm scared of KOSA, i'm scared of AI, i'm scared of the fact of all the fucking lawmakers who are doing things to limit people, i'm scared that i won't even live past college.

[girlfictions]

something i’ve been thinking about lately is like. growing up muslim right after 9/11 is something i’d never really reflected on much because it was all i’d ever known — at 5, my friend’s mum didn’t let her invite me to her birthday party because i was the only brown girl in our class, at 12, my classmates would joke about my family being part of isis, at 16, my dad was interrogated by american airport security for hours — and it always stung and it always hurt but it was just the way things were because the western world hated muslims. but i don’t think i’ve ever fully comprehended the extent to which we were hated until now.

palestine is being turned into a mass graveyard. every single day there are new photos of the atrocities being carried out against them and videos of them pleading for help and still those who can actually intervene turn a blind eye. israel is claiming to only be targeting hamas “terrorists” while bombing a refugee camp. israeli police raided and assaulted a non-zionist jewish neighbourhood. israeli soldiers are posting tiktoks of them torturing captured palestinians. this is not a complicated issue and it never has been. ethnic cleansing is being committed right in front of us. and yet the western world leaders refuse to call for a ceasefire.

and while zionist organisations accuse pro-palestine demonstrations of anti-semitism, while zionist celebrities insist that they’re afraid to leave their mansions in los angeles, a six year old muslim boy was stabbed to death and his mother wounded in the same attack in chicago. a muslim doctor was murdered while sitting outside her apartment complex in texas. hundreds of peaceful protesters have been arrested (many of whom have been jewish). despite what zionists want you to believe, this is not a jewish/muslim conflict. i have so much love and gratitude to my brave jewish brothers and sisters all over the world who are condemning israel for their actions.

ultimately, israel have been granted impunity by the west. they have slaughtered thousands upon thousands of innocent palestinians. they have bombed hospitals and schools indiscriminately. they have used white phosphorus, violating the geneva convention. they have completely eradicated nearly 900 bloodlines. how many more need to be wiped out? how many more children need to be buried underneath the rubble? how many more doctors need to be confronted with the bodies of their own family members? how many more journalists need to detail the horrific acts of violence they are witnessing? what more can be done to the palestinian people that has not been done already?

i truly believe that palestine will be free one day. i believe the palestinian people will receive the justice they finally deserve. but what breaks my heart is how much they have suffered and will continue to suffer before they are deemed worthy of help. and it would be to all of our detriment if we ignored how much of a factor palestine being a predominantly muslim state has played into the way the world has reacted to their genocide.

[luminousespeon]

I'm sad, I'm gonna be leaving my family (which includes my cat) on the tenth for Job Corps to try and make sure I'll at least have a decent future, but the longest I've ever left my family I don't think was even for a week.

I don't even know how long I'll be there. I'll at least be in the same state but we still won't see each other often because gas is expensive.

Like I'm excited as well! I'll finally be around other people, ones around my age and I might actually make some friends, but I won't really be seeing my family except to text and try to facetime them and the occasion we can visit.

I just hope I'll get used to it.

[iron-child]

"Uncle Clint and Uncle Bruce weren't actually married? My entire world is shattered."

A pause.

"Okay maybe not my whole world."

[homoangel]

im gonna say something cold harsh mean and unpopular

↑ this stupid shirt makes him look like a fifth grade boy in thee most annoying way

also why do these bitches dress like sims

[fennign]

It’s funny how I’m the youngest but I have Eldest Daughter Syndrome because I had to stay behind and give up all my dreams and personality to raise my PARENTS into adults. While my sister ran out the first chance she got and never looked back at the fucking 8 year sister she left behind.

I’m glad my sister gets to live out a happy life and has healed from our childhood. I am truly happy for her but I’m so resentful at the same time.

I don’t want what I went through to happen to my sister. But damn, I just wish she grabbed my hand when she ran.

[spaceorphan18]

It's amazing to think about that in 24 hours time, Penelope Featherington has the following things happen to her:

Accepts her fate of having a somewhat lonely marriage that at least allows her freedom.

Has that said marriage prospect ruined

Finds out that her best friend and love of her life not only has feelings for her but has been pining for her

Gets fingered in the back of a carriage

Gets ENGAGED

Survives the whirlwind of the Bridgertons

Gets in a fight with her (other) best friend, who tells her she better own up to Whistledown before she spills the beans

Goes home and writes an entire Whistledown

Manages to get the Whistledown to the printers in time (seriously the turn around on this is bonkers.)

Waits for the Whistledown to announce her engagement to her mother - because she knows it's a little dig at her mother

Best friend/love of her life/now hot fiance scolds her mother and stands up for her

Loses her virginity so hard it breaks the furniture

GETS PREGNANT

And then has the Queen offering, like, a million dollars to find out her identity.

All of that in less than 24 hours. It's more like 12 to 16 hours. No wonder this girl needs a minute to, like, breathe... or take a long nap. Did she even sleep?

this show is wild...

[fernsnailz]

sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol