I need to get these out of my system, so‼️‼️
Meet my ultra original Homestuck fankid!!
Dead-Eyed Cindy!
a.k.a. Cynthia Lenore!🗝️
A completely normal teenager, just like every other teen in Homestuck, trust!!🤚
More about her under the cut!!
(Note that this drawing was made when I just returned to HS and haven't yet seen some of the amazing variations of their designs here on Tumblr, so my design for Dave will probably be changed, idk)
She lived with her Big Sister, they were Strider's neighbors from a floor down
They lived in hard financial conditions, her Sister overworked herself to provide for them both and was almost never home to look after Cindy, which forced Cindy to fend for herself most of the time when she was little
She met Dave on the roof once, the meeting involved spying on his Bro and her Sister talking about some secret Older Sibling Stuff or something. It looked like her Sister was crying? Overall a pretty awkward first meeting
Cindy felt guilty often about their situation for some reason, so she helped with whatever she could in the house
But her relationship with her Sister was.. not ideal, it was very strained and painful for both of them, Cindy felt hurt from her Sister not being around much, even if she understood why that was
Even so, she still felt cared for and appreciated her Sister and her sacrifices
Cindy was bullied in school, I know, shocker, she was considered weird, dirty, ugly, scary, and was avoided most of the time. Some kids called her "Dead-Eyed Cindy", because of how her eyes resemble the ones of a dead fish, but she reclaimed that nickname for herself, because she thinks it makes her sound badass. She didn't know what friendship was supposed to be like, and convinced herself she was better off without anyone, but she desperately wanted to have real friends she could trust one day
She was very stiff emotionally when she first started chatting with Dave, but with time became more sincere and open thanks to also getting to know Rose, Jade, and John
She and Dave are both weird dead thing collectors, but Cindy prefers to collect animal bones and skulls. Their music preferences don't match like. In any form, but Cynthia greatly enjoys Dave's mixes and tunes, and always encouraged him to do more
She adores gothic rock, punk rock, heavy metal, screamo and any other "edgy" music genre you can think of
Of course she didn't have money to go to concerts and buy merch of her favorite bands, so all the posters in her room were home printed
She's all about that messy grungy look. Her hair? Intentually cut like that by herself. Smeared makeup? Her favorite style. Her clothes? Ripped and modified by herself. She wanted to ward off normies away from her this way, not caring about what other people think of her, and also just because she likes the style
She didn't like Rose's overly posh way of wording things at first(so pretentious), but they quickly clicked over shared interests in goth culture and the paranormal unknown, Cindy cares about her greatly and comforted her through the hardships Rose had to endure
Cindy didn't know what to think of Jade's strangeness and, quite frankly, didn't like her vibes at first, but warmed up to her greatly with time and really sympathized with her, Cindy really believes Jade deserves so much better, and is determined to let her know they care
John was very intimidated by Cindy at first, and Cindy assumed he just didn't like her, so she acted more coldly towards him, and it continued to be like that for a pretty awkwardly long time, but of course his dorkiness hooked her up quick, as it did his other friends, and they slowly but surely became very close; Cynthia became very protective of Egbert fast
Cindy always tries to put in work into her friendships, as she naturally doesn't want to be alone again, but also because she doesn't want her friends to feel left out or ignored, cause she knows what it's like
Which also seems like overcompensation, as she feels like she's not the best person to be around, so she tries to be helpful, even when she no longer has any mental resources for that
She had no clue about what kind of game Sburb even was, and she definitely didn't have time to ask when meteors suddenly started raining from the sky
No fucking way was she going to die if she could help it, so she fought for her and her friends' lives with all she had
How was she able to godtier and whatnot without entering the game? Beats me, you're asking as if I should know and write some good explanation for it and make it make sense🙄🙄💅 I just wanna play touoys, hope you understand💓
Cindy started questioning her identity along the way of their adventures on the meteor, and started using she/they/him pronouns
If I had to write about her relationships with all of the trolls we'd be here all day, so let me just point out the most relevant things here <3
Gamzee had a pitch crush on her, and they entertained the idea for a while, but she quickly recoiled from that when Gamzee, uh, started doing Stuff. She actively maintains friendships with Aradia, Kanaya, and Tavros, and is on good terms with Terezi, Sollux, and Nepeta. It's a bit more complicated with the others, though.. Their relationship with Karkat was very murky and tense at first, she wasn't having his bullshit, but he grew on them with time, when Cindy realized they both have similar goals and wants. She can't tolerate Eridan's bullshit and mostly avoids him, doesn't like Equius for his attitude and hates him for what he did to Aradia, Feferi.. well, they just can't find a common ground, especially because Feferi's royalty, and Cindy holds no respect for them. And Vriska.. he justifiably doesn't like her, at all, but is somewhat sympathetic of her issues.
She is a Page of Blood, and their journey of self-realization had to teach him that she can't win and please them all, that they can be their true self around her friends, and that he can also depend on others for help when she needs it
She learned to make chains from blood, his or otherwise, and use them in battle, and at their highest potential she can bind someone's body to another's and adjust what it means according to situation.
You're badly injured and there's no one else to help in sight? She can bind your body to hers and share their life essence with you, practically making it so you both share an internal system, and if she's healthy enough, then you'll be too in a second
He can drain someone's blood and give it to another if they need it, she can solidify blood inside someone's veins to make it hard to move
She can make a dying person's heart beat via a blood bind, but it's very draining for her and can be quite deadly if done hastily and improperly, and he can't do it when a body already went cold, at least they didn't learn how to, maybe with enough conviction and training she could one day🤔
Maybe with time she found even more uses and possibilities for her chains
She's a great motivator, especially if it's his friends that need morale, they always have their friends' backs
She's not a fan of being a leader, but can be if the situation calls for it
Overall, Cynthia is a person with an intimidating exterior, and warm and genuine interior!🥹
Here's the ref with both the casual fit and the godtier pajamas in full color👇
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iwbft — thursday: a brief summary of my annotations
all highlighted quotes: 135
· ouch/ow/owie: 7
· real/felt/relatable/so true: 0
· aroace: 0
· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 3
I like knowing that I've been there since the beginning. — lol hipster... me w BiT tho
I can't stop myself laughing, trapped under the cape, and I catch a glimpse of Lister grinning at me, a soft smile, one that reminds me of years ago, back when this was all new and exciting and fun, back when we really were children. — god i love this bit . it is so gentle and tender
People are coming up with some hilarious explanations for the Jowan photo and the Rowan/Bliss reveal, such as it's a ploy by their management, out to stir up some extra publicity to keep attention on The Ark [...] — devastating phrasing for rpf shippers everywhere
it didn't destroy me in the way I thought it would when the news eventually came that Jowan, love itself, wasn't real.. Maybe I sort of knew it was a lie all along. — 10 points for recognising that rpf ships aren't real, -2 for the nihilistic depressive worldview . get therapy x
Unpleasant phone call? Yesterday morning? I heard nothing about that. — well u definitely heard Hints but i'll let u off due to the autism x
Playing our songs when the entire audience is empty is always a laugh, because we're just playing for ourselves, and we can deliberately get stuff wrong and play games like Lister trying to get us out of time and Rowan adding in harmonies where there aren't normally and me changing the lyrics of our most famous songs. — i'd die for them fr LET THESE BOYS HAVE FUN MORE OFTEN
every time the laughing stops his expression drops and he looks like he's about to cry. — me when i leave my friend's house & the mental illness comes back
He just leans in and kisses me. My stomach lurches. Not because I'm excited, but because I'm shocked and I'm getting flashbacks of the last time I did this. Never my idea, is it? I want to, I want to kiss a boy in some dramatic way but I don't too, not when it doesn't feel right. — ☹ bad parallel
You think you've got it all sorted but you don't! You're just the same as me. You're both just as bad as I am. — ,,,,, he's not far wrong tbf
'You don't have to... like me back,' he says, and his voice breaks but I can't tell whether he's laughing or trying not to cry. 'But please don't hate me.' — AGONY (note: this is written in huge letters)
I thought the three of us would be friends forever. I can't deal with these unsaid feelings. I don't want to know about them. I don't want to think about them. — kick me in the cooch it'd hurt less
'Everything's bad.' 'Nothing bad is going to happen to you.' But it feels like it is. 'I am not afraid,' says Rowan softly. 'Remember?' — KILL ME OFF (note: this is written in huge letters)
I'm gone, I'm already gone, I'm up above the three of us and gazing down at the three bodies and wondering who on Earth decided that these three pathetically flawed human beings deserved so much worship. — i wanna write an essay on depersonalisation in jimmy's narration
Jimmy's smile is so wide - a youthful, dreamlike grin - as he gazes over the crowd — to the tune of the maybelline jingle: maybe it's a youthful dreamlike grin, maybe it's dissociation
There is something inexplicable tying them together. — it's trauma
Most fans would defend them until their last breath, form an army to keep them from harm or discomfort. — can't speak to how deliberate this was but . army in the bts sense is a fun connection
I didn't get to meet The Ark. I didn't get to tell them anything. — give it a day luv x
I am dragged into the flood. — BORN TO SURVIVE THE STORM BORN TO SURVIVE THE FLOOD
He doesn't look like himself without the airy smile that I always see in the photos and videos. — false! he looks more like himself then you've ever seen!
Of course he looks impossibly beautiful too. I desperately want to hold him. — NOT THE TIME
He's afraid of me. Me. Me. The human embodiment of a caterpillar. — something something self perception vs other ppl's perception, parallels the fandom vs celebrity experience something something
His eyes are wide and fearful. The beauty that I'd admired there has gone. — he's becoming real...
It just makes me feel like I'm really here. Holding this piece of me in my hand. — depersonalisation & grounding .......
God, I want to hug him. I want to hold him and let him cry gently into my shoulder. — not the time for a wattpad self-insert y/n imagine queen
I just stop registering what's happening around me. It's not really happening to me. It's all just happening to this body that people call Jimmy Kaga-Ricci. — depersonalisation!!!!!
It's funny because it's true. — TORI?
'I'm not in here any more,' I say, pointing at my chest. 'This is all happening to someone else.' 'Are you... okay?' I laugh at him again. — depersonalisation (note: this is in big letters and double underlined)
I'm sure that when The Ark arrive, I'll feel happy. I know that when The Ark arrive, I will feel happy. — ow . it's almost like relying on external factors to fix ur mental health is like a plaster on a bullet hole
I'm sure that when we start playing, I'll feel happy. — they're so nsync
Why do I feel like he's died when he's right there in front of me? — because you loved a fantasy and now reality has kicked in amen
I just turn back and stare up at them, waiting, praying for something good to happen, something good to make me feel okay again, just as it always has until today. But I don't feel anything. — yeah yeah the emotional void we all know it
— future college/uni essay idea: religion vs fandom with a specific focus on the osemanverse/hstv fandom w iwbft & rs as backup
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