#I just wanna show off these awesome pics to as many people as possible

[askadrianalucardtepes]

"I spent some time hanging out with my friends recently! It's nice to just let loose every once in a while and just have a little fun. Apparently it's not 'good for me' if I spend all my time brooding and monsterhunting. Who'd have guessed?"

[OOC] Look!! Me and my friends did a Castlevania photoshoot, something I've dreamt of doing for AGES. Most of the pics turned out delightfully goofy, but these are some of the nicest ones we managed to snap. Enjoy! :D Alucard: Yours truly (Check me out on IG at @ ancestorcosplay for more Alucard cosplay content!) Trevor Belmont: @ anubiss.cos on IG Sypha Belnades: @ nalin.cos on IG Go give my friends some much-deserved love!

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[zwritestuff]

Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes (Crygi)

“D’you wanna get married?” Gigi blurts out before she can think it twice. No, scratch that. She’s not thinking at all. 

Crystal doesn’t even flinch or look surprised by the question; she just stares at Gigi for a long second, blowing the smoke in her face again.

“Sure, why not?” She replies, throwing the cigarette on the floor and stomping on it.

a/n: SPARE ME THE DIRTY GLANCE, ‘KAY? the people asked for it (well, it was like three anons and one person.) and i delivered. will someone read this and not think i’m straight up mental? who the fuck knows! but just to clarify - yes, i did write based off gigi’s instagram caption where she said she and crystal got married in vegas. do i think that’s true? that’s for me to know and clown over, thank you very much. it’s not beta-ed at all and poorly looked over, so pls act as if there are no mistakes even though there are. title comes from Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry.

“D’you wanna get another round?” Gigi shouts over the music so Crystal can hear. But Crystal barey registers her, being far too much worried in trying to re-apply her lipstick — her phone serving as a mirror and the flashlight making her squint.

They’ve been in drag for hours now, and everything hurts, aches and itches. Crystal’s sparkly red lips are now a shadow of what they were at the beginning of the night, and if Crystal insistes on re-applying some of her lipstick, it’ll end up being more of a mess, for she can’t get her hands to draw a straight line.

Gigi’s lost her hat somewhere, the last she remembers is that Heidi took it to fool around and take pics with it. She doesn’t mind; it was heavy, anyway, and if Heidi lost it she can use that to ask her for a favour later on, once the tour begins and their lives turn into a complete and utter chaos.

“Ta-da!” Crystal exclaims satisfied, turning to see Gigi. Her red lipstick is smudged around the edges, with half of the glitter gone and she’s pretty sure she got some in her teeth too. “What were you sayin’?” She asks, pulling down the neck of her dress and stuffing the lipstick there. Gigi giggles; she swears she’s seen Crystal put from bills to her phone there, and she’s not sure why, if her coat has large pockets, but whenever she does it she can briefly see that stupid One Direction tattoo, so it’s not that she’s complaining. 

“Want another round?” Gigi repeats, coming closer to Crystal can hear her better. Crystal blinks owlishly, tilting her head to the side and furrowing her brows before speaking.

“Wait a second…” She says, standing up from her seat and trying to walk. It takes her about two steps before she almost trips with her own feet, even while she’s grabbing the table for some stability. Crystal sits back down as Gigi laughs loudly. “No,” Crystal replies, with that high pitched tone she always uses when she’s embarrassed.

Gigi complains with a whine, sounding far too childish, and if they were a little sober Crystal would make a joke about this, but Crystal seems one shot away of being drunk out of her mind and therefore she’s unable to form any coherent thought. She just giggles at whatever Gigi says or does, before jamming to the music blasting through the place — a remix of Circus by Britney Spears, currently, and she tries to do the whip movement when the lyric comes on. 

“Careful, Britney, you’re gonna get dizzy,” Gigi advices, a giggle escapes her as Crystal does weird moves to the beat of the song. 

Crystal pulls her tongue out at her, scooting herself closer in the couch of the booth so now she’s in Gigi’s personal space and dancing all over her. Gigi laughs loudly, throwing her head back against the headboard of the couch as Crystal pokes at her ribs as she sings off-tune.

“I make it hooot, when I put on a ssshowwww,” Crystal drunkenly slurs, singing right in Gigi’s ear, pressing her lips ever so slightly. It sends chills down Gigi’s spine, making her stomach twitch, and she doesn’t even mind the fact Crystal has probably left her lipstick smeared in her ear and wig. She’s left her lipstick in far worse places before.

They’ve been fooling around for quite some time now, running from Missouri to California and everywhere in between. The whole ‘dating a drag queen that lives in the opposite side of the country’ it’s hectic in every possible way, not only because the show will air in a few weeks and whatever privacy they have will fly right out the window — not that they have any privacy now, if they were to be honest.

Crystal’s lips linger on her cheek, mumbling the words of the songs, her breath is hot against her skin and if they weren’t in a public event, with lots of cameras everywhere, filming every move they make, Gigi would’ve grabbed her by her wig and pulled her into a kiss long ago.

“Wanna go for a cigarette?” Gigi blurts out at the same time the song transitions from Circus to Womanizer.

“But you don’t— oh!” She catches on when Gigi stares at her lips and bites her own bottom lip, winking. A dumb, toothy smile spreads across her face as Crystal nods.

They lace their hands together and navigate through the crowd, elbowing people to get to outside, running into their season sisters every so often. Nicky is already drunk, giving Jackie a sloppy lap dance and Jackie exudes gay panic, while Jaida just doubles with laughter and Jan —seeming to be the only sober one— films the entire ordeal. Gigi lets a sigh of relief when they don’t notice them leaving together.

There is, however, a tinge of worry at the back of her mind that someone has noticed them, but she doesn’t pay it much attention, since she’s trying to help Crystal walk without falling in the process.

The cold night air hits them and Gigi suddenly feels a bit more woken up. Crystal sighs heavily and fetches for something in her coat, smiling happily when she pulls out a package of cigarettes, and leans against the wall.

Gigi just stares at her as she tries to light up the cigarette, closely watching the tube when it doesn’t light up at the fifth attempt. She grumbles, throwing it away with a childish whine.

“Got a light?” Crystal asks, the cigarette dangles from her lips and Gigi tries to search for Widow’s lighter in her pockets.

(Widow didn’t lend her lighter, she just forgot to ask back for it long ago, and now Gigi is stuck with a lighter she only uses to light up Crystal’s cigarettes.)

There’s a flame and Crystal brings her face closer to it, firmly holding the cigarette between her lips. Gigi would normally scold her for it, but right now the action doesn’t even phase her. 

Crystal takes a drag and blows the smoke right into Gigi’s face. Gigi is embarrassed to say she finds it hot.

“You’re an angel, Geeg, you knew that?” Crystal says, winking at her. “C’mere.” She pats the air next to her and Gigi settles beside her, watching Crystal as she smokes.

There’s something about Crystal that makes her endearing to watch, even if she’s not doing anything. But it’s Gigi who we’re talking about; Gigi, who’s beyond head over heels with Crystal. It’s funny, when she thinks about it, this all started because Crystal was so unapologetically weird during their time on Drag Race, and Gigi felt more and more drawn to her until she was so into Crystal she found it hard to breathe.

And then Crystal reciprocated her feelings, after God knows how many shared fruit snacks, hints thrown her way and subtle flirting, and Gigi forgot how to breathe altogether.

“You think too loud,” Crystal suddenly says, and Gigi blinks repeatedly.

“What you mean?” 

Crystal gives her a shit eating grin before answering.

“You think that I’m so coooool, and awesome and cuuuute, and how you wanna wife me upppp,” Crystal babbles, holding her cigarette in her hand as she leans closer to Gigi again, hitting her with the smell of nicotine and tequila. 

She brushes her lips against Gigi’s, being the tease she is, and then Gigi groans, grabbing her by her wig and closing the distance between them.

Their lips move lazily, tasting every second that the kiss lasts, taking all the time in the world. The kiss is tender and soft, making Gig feel butterflies in her stomach — it doesn’t matter how many times she kisses Crystal, it still makes her melt and feel as if she’s sixteen and kissing a boy for the first time.

Crystal breaks the kiss after some moments and goes back to smoking, placing an arm around Gigi’s waist. Gigi lets her head fall in Crystal’s shoulder, looking at the oddly empty streets when something catches her attention.

There’s one of those chapels in which people get married as if it’s no big deal, and a group of people await in front one of those, with their cameras ready as they snicker between each other. A couple comes out from behind the doors, and there’s screeching and laughter as many flashes point their way and there’s rice thrown.

Gigi imagines for a moment that’s her and Crystal. How funny would it be if they actually got married? Gigi’s always wanted a big wedding, because if she’s leaving the market, she may as well go with a bang. But a small, private wedding doesn’t sound half as bad — she imagines herself in full drag, cinched and painted, anxiously waiting to say “I do.”

She looks at Crystal, trying to imagine how would it be if they got married. She doesn’t think much of the actual cohabiting, that doesn’t even cross her mind; instead, she wonders what would Crystal wear, and if she’d cry once the moment of saying their vows arrives.

An idea crosses her mind, and at that moment it seems innocent enough, but later on she’ll find out it may have not been that good.

“D’you wanna get married?” Gigi blurts out before she can think it twice. No, scratch that. She’s not thinking at all. 

Crystal doesn’t even flinch or look surprised by the question; she just stares at Gigi for a long second, blowing the smoke in her face again.

“Sure, why not?” She replies, throwing the cigarette on the floor and stomping on it.

And that’s all that Gigi needs to grab her hand and make their way to the other side of the street, not really thinking before they’re at the reception of a tiny pink chapel, filling out their information, scrambling to find their IDs —luckily, Gigi always has it on thanks to her baby face, and Crystal always has it on her phone case— and the seventy dollars fee. Gigi says something along the lines of, “That’s what I get in tips after doing three shows in one night.”

What happens next is a blur of a man talking and reciting some boring laws, making them sign some papers and asking if they have rings. Before she notices, Crystal is pulling off one of her own rings and offering it to Gigi, and Gigi whines pathetically because she doesn’t have a ring for her. She pays five extra dollars to buy a cheap ring the chapel offers in emergency cases and tells Crystal she owes her.

They get told “You can kiss, uh, the bride,” in a very doubtful tone, and suddenly nude beige and sparkly red clash against each other. Much to Gigi’s surprise, Crystal doesn’t cry at all through the whole thing.

When they come back to the party, holding hands and with their lipsticks smudged, the other queens get a little suspicious about it. When asked about what were they doing, Crystal just replies nonchalantly:

“We got married.”

A decent amount of the cast don’t believe her, because she’s drunk and there’s no way in hell it’s true, they say. But others like Nicky, Jaida and Jackie fully do, wasting no time in scolding them for doing such a stupid thing, but they barely pay attention.

It hasn’t fully sunk in the reality of what they just did, but that’s a problem for their sober selves. Right now, they just make their way into the bathrooms, lock in a stall and kiss lazily until their lipsticks are beyond any touch ups.

[twonewkidsonesouthpark]

Chapter 3: A Class Act

So let me get this straight; we moved in during the most intensive, town wide, elementary school LARP session the world has ever known, you’re all fighting over a goddamn TREE BRANCH, and all of you seem to think that me and my sister are the same person. Oh, and also boys, point for mom and dad, I guess. Have I covered all of the craziness happening here or am I missing something?

Lynnea knew she wasn’t going to get an answer -- Kyle seemed like a nice enough kid, besides the whole ‘quasi-abducting her under false assumptions’ thing, but Alyssa was the only person who she could really ever communicate with. Came with the twin territory, she supposed. Or just being raised in the same weird way.

“So? Will you join us?”

Part of Lynn wanted to say no, wanted to just go home and finish unpacking and not get involved in this mess… but Kyle sounded so damn hopeful and…

...when was the last time she ever got to have fun like this? As her, not her-pretending-to-be-Lyssie-pretending-to-be-the-same-person. And... well, dad DID tell them to make friends…

Fuck it. For once in their lives, she was doing something she wanted to do.

Lynnea nodded.

Kyle grinned, “Awesome! Okay, so first things first, you can choose from a few classes,” Kyle told her, leading her over to the well labeled shop, “You can be a ranger like Stan, a warrior, a mage, a healer… you can’t be a Bard unless you know how to play an instrument, that’s why Jimmy’s the only one.”

Well, that’s right out then unless being able to play a really shitty recorder counts. Go back to that healer class, can I heal AND hit things or is it just one or the other? She picked up the healer headband and the sword, holding them both out toward Kyle quisitively.

“Dude, that’s not the warrior armor,” Stan says. Lynn gave him a flat look, gesturing again to both, and hoping this wasn’t about to turn into a frustratingly stupid game of charades --

Kyle tilted his head, eyes going from the headband to the sword before something seemed to click, “Oh! You want to heal and hit shit?”

Ding ding, we have a winner!

Kyle looked contemplative, “We don’t really have a class for that, but… hm,” he tapped his fingers against his opposite arm, “I think we can manage that. Cartman’s got Butters as a Paladin, but he made that class human only, so we’d need to think up a different name for it. What do you call a healer who hits things?”

“A really bad healer?” Stan offers up.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Lynn tapped him on the shoulder, helpfully showing him her phone screen with the wikipedia page for Cleric opened up on it, I think THIS is what you’re looking for.

Kyle read it, then nodded after a minute, “Yeah, we can totally swing that. It’s… ugh, it’s essentially the...” he mumbled something under his breath, “Class.”

Lynn blinked, then tilted her head, putting a hand up to cup behind her ear, Wanna run that one by me again, I think I just SERIOUSLY misheard you.

“Ugghhhh, Cartman called it the Jew class, alright?” Kyle said, with an exasperated roll of his eyes, “Cleric’s a way better name, though, so that’s what we’re going with.”

Wow. Ooookay then.

“Yeah,” Kyle sighed, clearly seeing the shock on her face, “Right, let’s get you geared up.”

It was a little surprising to see just how MUCH stuff the shop had accumulated, and how creative the boys had gotten with their homemade weapons. Well, if a zombie apocalypse ever hits, these guys are set. It was a little annoying to have to spend her allowance for her ‘staff,’ though. At least Kyle gave her the armor set for free, mostly because they had to pick and choose pieces from their already established classes, and helped her get the fake pointed ears on.

“Just don’t futz with ‘em too much, we tried gluing them on but well -- a couple peoples’ moms got mad,” he shrugs. Lynn dropped her hand from where she was playing with her hair, trying to get it to settle around the pointy appendages, “Okay, so, we’ve got your class, your equipment… oh, right, add me on facebook so you can stay in contact,” Kyle said, “It’s how I usually give orders, Cartman keeps trying to assassinate me every time I leave my yard,” he rolls his eyes.

Oh. Thaaaaaat was going to be a problem…

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Lynn as she fidgeted awkwardly, “Dude, what? I know you’ve got a phone, what’s the issue?” Well yeah, her parents learned that lesson that their while daughters would concede to share many things - a room, clothes, an identity - a phone would not be one of them. It had only taken a few fights for them to cave and get a second phone. But only one of them had the Facebook app downloaded, and that phone? Was in Alyssa’s possession at the moment.

Sighing, Lynn pulled her phone out of her pocket and handed it over to Kyle, who looked confused as he flipped through the screens, “...you don’t have Facebook?” He finally asked when he put two and two together.

Technically, no. But it’s not like I can explain that me and my twin sister have to share a facebook page that’s heavily monitored by our parents, sooo… Lynn took the phone back, opening up her contacts, and tapping the screen next to her parents’ cell numbers, “Ohhh. Overprotective parents?” Stan guessed.

Close enough, she nodded.

“W-well, we won’t t-t-tell if yyyyyou d-don’t,” Jimmy grinned. She gave him a flat look, and the grin dropped slightly, “S-ssorry. Sore sp-pot?” She shrugged, willing to let it slide. At least he apologized.

Then her phone wasn’t in her hands as Stan took it out of her grip, “Here. I’ll make you a Facebook page, that way your parents can’t get mad at you for doing it, right?”

I am pretty sure that is NOT how that works, Stan. But she didn’t try to grab it back, letting Stan fiddle with it.

“Dude, what do I put in for your name?” Stan asked, looking up at her, and Lynnea’s brain froze up. She couldn’t tell them her real name -- for a number of reasons, the current top of the list being they thought she was a guy.

“Well not his real name, obviously, if we don’t want his parents finding the page,” Kyle saves the day, “We do need to call you something, though. Unless you want to keep going by ‘New Kid’.”

Preferably not, but I can always change it later, right? She shrugged, motioning for the phone back. She’d send all the relevant people a friend request in a minute if they didn’t beat her to it, But first, let me take a selfie, she thought with an inward giggle as she held the camera up and snapped a picture. At least she didn’t feel too out of place as the friend requests flooded in -- it looked like all of the boys had their costumes on in their profile pics, at least for the moment.

It struck her, about then that, for the first time in possibly her whole life… she had friends. Friends that were hers, not hers and Lyssie’s. Lynn blinked rapidly -- she didn’t know MUCH about these guys, but crying in front of a bunch of boys probably wasn’t going to win her points. She shoved her phone in the pocket of her new robe, looking up at them.

So… now what?

‘Now what’ was apparently teaching her the rules of the game, and how to fight -- that one, at least, she already knew. She’d gotten into enough scuffles with Lyssie over their lives to know how to defend herself, at least. And that was without the solid, somewhat sharp metal rod she now had to hit people with. She also got the privilege of holding onto a slew of health and power ‘potions’ -- snacks. At least Kyle lent her a backpack for those.

“Now that you’re fully initiated into my army, I have your first task for you,” Kyle said, hopping back up into his throne once he felt she wouldn’t make a fucking fool out of herself, “The humans will stop at nothing to retrieve the stick, so we need to take it somewhere they won’t look. Stan, I want you and the New Kid to escort the Bard back to the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. Jimmy, I’m putting you in charge of guarding the stick. We’ll get our men set up inside to keep you safe.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!” Jimmy and Stan said.

Kyle grabbed the stick off the arm of his throne, handing it over to Stan, who took it with a firm nod, “Guard it with your lives. The Grand Fatass canNOT get his hands on it again,” Kyle said, “Now, go! Before they have time to regroup.”

“C’mon, New Kid, we’ll show you around town while we head to Jimmy’s -- er, the Inn,” Stan said, tucking the stick in his belt and heading toward the back door. Jimmy followed after him, pausing to shake mud and grass off the ends of his crutches before going inside. Lynn practically bounced along behind them.

Maybe this move wasn’t going to be so shitty after all.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 1: The Note Dawdling Tension Plays (Part 2)

BRIGHT: The next bit of narration continues to establish John’s character: he has no idea what to call the red arm on the mailbox, and doesn’t care. We also learn that much like many teenagers, he doesn’t want to spend hours with his Dad. The author uses this opportunity to drop in a reference to the title.

The next page has a loading screen! I think this is the first interactive page in the comic. (For a certain value of interactive - you can mouseover the vertical lines of the games in the CD rack, and the cover of the game will pop up. Some of these link you to other works by Hussie.)

CHEL: Unfortunately, we then go into sylladex shenanigans AGAIN. Mercifully, this time it’s brief. We’ll let this one go, but I’ve got one eye on you, Huss.

TG messages John again, making reference to “TT”, who is confirmed female and alleged to be “mackin on” TG, and to his “bro” who “basically knows everything and is awesome”. How sincere he is in either of those remains to be seen. Finally, John actually gets told how to use his sylladex. Maybe the shenanigans will stop now… Anyway, he selects hammers for his strife specibus, or his weapon of choice, and the sylladex is confirmed able to hold things which would be too big to carry normally, such as Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, a book roughly as big as John is. At least the stupid sylladex actually has some practical use - I’m sure John’s as happy as I am to know that!

Next we see the review which put TG off; GameBro magazine explains “Why the ‘Game of the Year’ or whatever isn’t as good as some other stuff I like that’s better”. As it turns out once you get past the Totally Radical verbiage, the reviewer didn’t even play it. Something suspect’s definitely going on if it’s so hyped up on so little information… erm, is it just me or is the term “Brotel Rwanda” rather tacky? I don’t know if that’s worth a point, the point of the joke could be that the game reviewer is an idiot…

FAILURE ARTIST: I’d have that squarely as a point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 1

CHEL: Okay, then, here’s our fourth count. Title is a reference to a line later in the comic, and I think the point of the count is pretty obvious. Mileage may vary, all works would get at least a couple points in this, and I don’t think it’s a big problem unless/until it starts to climb out of proportion. Not gonna use a WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM count because the reviewer, as seen in the pic, is supposed to be a white guy.

Regarding the rest of the review, I did consider whether this falls under the heading of HNTWAN’s “I, Youngster” (using slang or references from one’s own youth to write a contemporary younger person), but I’d say no, because it’s supposed to sound ridiculous. Same with John’s movies; his taste is supposed to be bad, I don’t think Hussie actually thinks kids in 2009 still all liked bad movies from before they were born. That, and Hussie’s word choices are frankly like nothing I’ve ever seen anywhere else in any time period.

We shall move on, as so is the comic. Forty-seven pages into the comic, the main character finally leaves his bedroom. Wow. Things are happening at breakneck speed here.

TIER: Truly the pace strides forward like a Colossus through Lilliput.

GET ON WITH IT!: 2

CHEL: Though the silly Groucho Marx disguise he puts on is cute.

BRIGHT: Of course, since it would be interesting to see what’s in the mailbox (or at least would move the plot along a bit), John spends the next few pages examining his home.

I’m torn about this. On the one hand, it does a bit more fleshing out of John and his home life, which is more interesting than endless sylladex shenanigans, and the narration is entertaining. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that on my first read through I clicked through all of it, trying to get to something happening. It holds up better on the re-read to me.

Well, something does happen, John knocks over the urn containing his grandmother’s ashes and opens a box from his father which holds a full-sized harlequin doll. Again, how much this appeals depends on what you think of ‘loveable dork’ characters fumbling around.

Then we return briefly to John’s bedroom, where we meet the third character of this webcomic, tentacleTherapist, or the alluded-to TT. The conversation isn’t very long, but it does give a good sense of what TT is like.

CHEL: Specifically, prone to sarcasm and sesquipedalian loquaciousness. Also to inappropriate jokes. An invocation of the hentai trope "tentacle rape" (read her handle quickly) is a fairly uncomfortable username for a child to have.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 2

Anyway, it seems she knows John very well - she’s able to guess he’s wearing “one of your disguises” with no clue in his messages, so evidently he does this a lot. She’s probably the smartest character introduced so far, and she and John seem to have a good relationship.

Now, again, this was originally a reader-driven forum game, but when it was collated into a webcomic, it might have been better to have the conversation with TT moved to before John left the room, so we’re not going back and forth unnecessarily. One journey through the house is enough, I’d say. Another GET ON WITH IT point, or does this come under the heading of the second point still? I’ll be nice and not count it, since he was going back to fetch an item and not just randomly wandering.

We definitely get more points from the text in Colonel Sassacre’s joke book:

And what of that tawny gent who puts his lackadaisical lean near the sarsaparilla font? You’ll have that listless octoroon find the spring in his step just yet! CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 3 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 2

The point of these lines is that the text is outdated and racist, not that it should be emulated, but the “outdated” point was more than got across by the language used already. And it would seem fairly weird for a person who wasn’t white to read a line like that and not comment on it - okay, maybe John’s read it before and is used to it, but the narrator ought to point that out if it had ever bothered him.

FAILURE ARTIST: Colonel Sassacre is basically Mark Twain with a party hat photoshopped on to him. Mark Twain’s most famous work, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, has gotten into trouble in recent years because of the name of one of the characters: [N-word] Jim. The novel is progressive for its time but it hasn’t aged well. I’m guessing Colonel Sassacre’s unnecessary racism is a nod to that controversy.

CHEL: Get used to Photoshopped depictions of real people, too.

BRIGHT: John ventures out into the house again, ostensibly to retrieve the game but really to stick his fake arms to the harlequin doll and nose around his father’s study. Should the comment about the peanut allergy count towards ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? In context with the can of peanuts I think there’s meant to be a joke here…

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon. A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.

CHEL: That line? Yeah, it's a reference to the snake nut can prank item - have you seen those on cartoons, where someone offers canned snacks and a spring-loaded toy snake pops out? A dark joke, sure, but my sense of humour tends to run that way and I loled. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS instead, possibly? I don’t know if people with life-threatening allergies would be offended by this - the joke isn’t that they’re weak or stupid or anything, the joke is the play on the reader’s expectations. I wouldn’t mind it if I had a peanut allergy, but as I said, my sense of humour is pretty dark.

FAILURE ARTIST: I feel like if a certain other parent we meet later did that people would take it as abusive.

CHEL: My assumption was that John’s dad didn’t actually mean to give him food that would kill him, that was just an unfortunate way of finding out he was allergic, but in this comic, who the fuck knows?... Come to think of it, maybe he did mean to. Peanut allergies run in families and it’s established much later on that one of the relatives involved (it gets complicated) also has a deadly peanut allergy, so it would seem logical that Dad would also have one and thus wouldn’t have them around to eat himself. Even if he did, that’s a bad move with an allergic person in the house. Maybe it is worth an ARE YOU TRYING point, then? Maybe this is just overanalysing, but then overanalysing is the whole point of this exercise, so there it goes!

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 1

For clarification of the listed counts, this isn’t going under CALL CPA PLEASE because that one’s for when the kids do something disturbing themselves. We’ll show you what we mean when it comes up. We'll be nice and let Rose have an inappropriate username, that's not out of the ordinary for kids that age.

And speaking of said points, what about Dad giving John at least four birthday cakes? (He has two untouched ones in his room at the point he says he’s been eating cake all day, and Dad soon tries to give him yet another one.) That sounds cool from a thirteen-year-old’s point of view, but it kinda comes across as if Dad’s trying to feed him to death, and intentionally making kids horribly unhealthy can be a form of abuse. Or possibly to make up for something awful he knows about… Is the latter further evidence for the “guardians know about what’s coming” theory? Dad’s coddling John because he knows horrible things are going to happen? Hell, were the peanuts an attempted mercy kill, if we wanna get really tinfoil hat about it?

All that’s for later, though. Meantime, we get our first page with sound, as John plays “Showtime”, a nifty little piano tune.

"Homestuck // Showtime (Piano Refrain) // Piano" (Watch on YouTube)

The other kids get their own individual little musical parts too, later on, which merge to form one full piece.

FAILURE ARTIST: Music is a big draw in Homestuck. Not just these four main characters but pretty much every character has their own leitmotif.

[luthienliveblogslately-blog]

Milestone write-up!

Since the story seems to be closing one story-arc and moving on to another, I feel this is a good place to take stock, summarize what we know and make some more or less educated guesses at what might happen in future. It got a bit away from me (”a bit” lol), so here’s a read more for your convenience. 

Players on the board

Last we left off, shit had decidedly hit the fan. We got painful confirmation that the elves successfully assassinated King Harrow, but they in turn had a painful price to pay. From what we can tell, Runaan is the only survivor, and he has been captured by Soren and Claudia. Claudia thinks he might come in “useful”, whatever that may mean. Might be they’ll interrogate him for information about Xadia, might be that Claudia has some more nefarious, magical things planned. She might ask him about Rayla and the egg, but it’s not like he can tell her anything that she doesn’t already know, aka Rayla and the boys have the egg and they plan to return it and use it to restore peace. Maybe, if they keep talking for long enough, he might actually get her to see that the egg really is just a yet to hatch baby dragon and therefore a sentient being in need of protection, and not just a powerful magical weapon to be used by whoever sees fit. If Runaan manages to escape or communicate with other elves, our heroes will have some real problems. He clearly sees Rayla as a traitor and seeks to punish her for the perceived crimes she committed, and there’s still that pesky magical bounty on Ezrans’s head… 

It’s hard to say what Claudia and Soren will do next. I think it depends very much on if Viren is sticking around the castle or not, and what his plans are. As to what his plans might be… god knows. Just how much does he want the egg back? Is he willing to go after it himself, or will he maybe send Soren? How much does Soren know about all this anyway? Five bucks says he had no idea about anything tbh. You know what still hasn’t been opened yet btw? The fucking letter. It’s still in Viren’s study. If it really has a contingency plan like “Callum becomes prince regent until Ezran is old enough to rule” I get the feeling Viren might pull some GoT-style shenanigans and try to put himself on the throne. At this point there isn’t really anything I wouldn’t put past him. In any case though the kingdom might be thrown into serious chaos for a while. After all: the King is Dead, long live the…. wait, who now? The crown prince is missing? The step-prince is missing, too? Well, guess it’s time for some good old-fashioned power grabbing! 

And then there’s our three four protagonists. We don’t know where the kingdom of Katolis is exactly, but in any case they have a long journey ahead. They will have to stick to the woods for most of it and avoid towns I think. Rayla can’t be seen by humans, the egg can’t be seen either, and Viren might try and put a bounty on all of them anyway, so the boys might not be save either. I trust Rayla will be able to get the foods from the woods though, so that should be alright. And then eventually they’ll reach the Breach and have to make their away across it and around however many standing armies manning the border from both sides. Yikes. Though we have no idea how far they’ll go in three remaining episodes. There are after all at least 5 more potential seasons in store for us, so there’s a good chance they won’t even remotely come close to the Breach in this one.  What I’m really worried about is Rayla keeping the truth about Harrow from the boys.  While it breaks my heart just thinking about them having to mourn their dad, I’m worried about Callum lashing out at Rayla in his grief. We already had a scene when he found out about the assassination plot and subsequently flipped out at Ez out of fear, and Ez hadn’t even really done anything. How much worse will that reaction be if she’s been lying to them for several days, even if it was just to spare them the pain? It might damage his trust in her, Callum might even try and make them split up and continue without her. Sounds like a really bad idea, but people do stupid things when they’re angry and sad. 

Other unresolved plot points

WHAT DOES THE FUCKING LETTER SAY

What’s up with the Mirror? For that matter, why is the mirror fishy enough to be covered up but not fishy enough to be hidden in the Lair of Dead Things? 

What’s with the picture Harrow looked at last time we saw him alive? It’s gotta be something, right? Why would they make the camera zoom in on it lying face down on the bed otherwise? Just have Harrow put it away and then forget it exists, don’t give it an extra shot!

Pip! Is he still alive? D: 

Callum still has the Storm Stone, but he might have to get his hands on a book or find himself a teacher to learn some new spells probably? 

WHAT DO THE BLACK EYES DO? DO THEY EVEN DO ANYTHING OR ARE THEY JUST FOR CREEPY EFFECT? 

Viren’s staff! Just cool historical artifact or actually relevant to the plot? 

Shameless Tin-hatting aka Foreshadowing Fucking Everywhere aka Miscellaneous Shit I Noticed While re-watching ep 1-3

Callum’s drawing of a Dragon roasting a Marshmallow Monster -> this show’s version of the Cookie Cat jingle? Possibly depicting Viren’s inevitable demise? 

Not foreshadowing, but I realized when the Narrator says “on the eve of last Winter’s Turn” in the opening what is meant with “last” is just most recent, as in “last month” or “last Christmas”. So it probably was some solstice type date after all. Makes sense with it now being spring. 

People keep pointing out how shit Bait is at hiding. I’m afraid at some point they’ll have to hide from something REALLY BAD and Bait will get them found. :/ Really, Bait being called Bait just seems super unfortunate in general. 

You know how Rayla says “My Heart for Xadia” during the ritual? Yeah, I’m getting the feeling Rayla will be instrumental in getting Ezran out of the magical contract, possibly in a super heroic way by just doing what her heart tells her to and saving the day, or possibly just… by dying in his stead. Oh god I feel like I jinxed her. :( 

You know how Callum was like “You’re so lucky, you get to learn magic!” and Claudia was like “You get to learn sword fighting!” and then Callum was like “I’d switch places in a second!”? Well, he’s doing magic now, so…. the little disaster bi that is myself is praying for Claudia in armor with a big-ass sword being a BAMF. ´

Anybody else who really wants to know what is under that OTHER, BIGGER tarp in the Lair of Dead Things? Because I really wanna know. I bet Ezran knows already. 

Harrow said about the letter that “[Callum will] understand in time.” What makes me think there’s more in there than just his last will, possibly it’s also his last confession. What terrible shit has he done over the years of his reign, how much of it did Viren have his fingers in and how much of it can Viren use against him post-mortem? And how will the boys react when they get confronted with their dad’s uglier side, possibly via what the elves or even some direct victims have to say about him? 

I’d really like to have a look at that book Callum is carrying everywhere. I figure it’s his sketch book and not relevant to anything, but it might still be fun to get to see some pages anyway. 

Stuff that I got spoilered on because there’s too many tags to block :( 

I saw some pics of the Dragon Prince after hatching! D: I’m sorry, it feels like I robbed myself of an awesome surprise and you of a genuine reaction. :( I didn’t look very closely, I just saw that he was adorable and had roughly the same color scheme as his dad. Which leads me to some more tin hatting: What with Thunder being called that and also breathing lightning, I’d like to propose that the Storm Stone still has a big role to play after all, other than just providing Callum with a magical source he can carry around. 

I saw General Amaya of the Standing Battalion being name dropped in a text post. I scrolled too fast to see any context, but considering who she is I guess we’ll get her as an upcoming character in some capacity.

I know that the elf making the MAGIC TREES amulets gets another ending slide at some point, and that people are theorizing he and Runaan are a Thing.  I’m not a super big fan of Runaan at this moment in time so I couldn’t give less of a shit about his love life tbh, and as much as I like to ship things I usually need a bit more than literally two pictures to get me going, so. I dunno, don’t expect much from me on that front until more material comes out in later seasons I guess. Like… if there isn’t enough for people to make emotional gif sets out of, can you even really call it a ship?

Netflix tried to push Chapter 4 on me when I went to re-watch the others. I got it shut down quickly enough, but I still saw the title. I think it was… Bloodthirsty? Bloodlust? Either way I think either Runaan is gonna have a REALLY bad time very soonish or our protagonists will have to run REALLY fast from people trying to catch them.  Maybe both. 

[senpaisatanwolnotimaginepage]

FBI guys- requested

It all started when i was taking nudes wearing a langirie that i bought, and i noticed my lights flicker on and off, there was a strange smell coming from the corner of my room and i called the police really fast,

"um i need help, i think something is in my house" i said and then closed the phone, after a few minuets, there was a knock on the door, i opened it and found two men standing there.  

"Mam" the short green eyed man said. "I'm office Lahey and this is officer Rakeb" they both showed their badges,

"oh thank you for coming" i said showing them inside

They walked in "what seems to be the problem mam?" Officer Lahey asked not taking his eyes of off me

"Um i was taking pictures and noticed there was something off" i said looking down and noticed that i was wearing not much,

dean  was a little blown away by what she just said, he couldn't help but stare at my stunning body, wondering if i even knew I not wearing anything except my lingerie?

"what kind of pictures" he asked, he couldn't help but smirk

"um well.. i was taking nudes" i said blushing a little and noticing him eyeing me down

he noticed my face turning a little red, he couldn't help but smile, he was trying to keep a straight face but it wasn't easy. "Mam, did you notice anything out of the ordinary? Like maybe cold spots, or flickering lights?"

"Um yeah... as i was taking the nude, i felt something really cold, i mean it could be because im-" i stopped talking then continued  "and i have these lights to take them. You see i have a uh website where i upload these, well they stopped working"

"Because you what? Mam?" he wanted to hear  the words  from me. he couldn't help but think about me, thinking of looking at my website "Has this happened often or this the first time mam?"

"It only happened once or twice. I was also wearing another outfit and well it happened again. I thought it was my lights but, i am half naked" i said clearing my throat

she is just so... Breathtaking i cant stop looking at her  dean thought as he looked at me

"Mam, do you know of anyone who might have died around here?" he asked trying not to give away to much,

I was going to take pictures in the morning. Or maybe videos. But again my lights went out and refused to turn on, not that i know of" i said being really sad about my lights

Videos? Damn I wouldn't mind see that, he started thinking more about me, when he was brought back to reality. "Sorry, miss do you know of anyone who would want to hurt you?" he saw wonder in my eyes. "I know it sounds weird mam, but we need to think of all different possibilities. Please. "

"Uhhh maybe my ex. He calls me everyday. And sends me texts. I did try to get a restraining order..." i trailed off and wondered what he was talking about

"Excuse me for a second mam" he walked over to the tall guy, wondering about this case. "Sammy, its obviously a ghost but how is the ex douchebag part of it??" he asked

"i dont know.. it does seem like a ghost" he said and shrugged "ask more questions"

"okay, okay ill ask" he walked over to me still looking at me

"Mam, did you smell anything odd? Like maybe rotten eggs?" he didn't want to sound weird but he had to ask,

"um kinda.. but my cat was not in the room with me" i said looking at my cat

"kinda? Where did you get the smell?" he was more curious about this case, why would someone want to harm me. I mean look at her  he thought

"Um in my room" i said motioning upstairs,

"would you mind showing us your room" he asked

"um sure" i said walking upstairs and opened the room door, he got in my room and started looking around and saw some yellowish dust in the corner of my room. he looked at the tall guy and whispered to him "Sulfur Sammy, Its a Demon"

"it is a demon" sam whispered  

"So what now? Do you think we should tell her, maybe stay the night" he was thinking of how staying with her would be awesome,

"i guess.. but how would we pull that off" sam said rolling his eyes

"Ughh don't be a downer Sammy, we've got this. We have to salt the house, demon traps everywhere" he smiled cocky at Sam "Ok lets tell her, otherwise we'll look like serial killers" he said jokingly

"what is it?" i asked

He couldn't think straight with her looking so sexy. "It's a demon" he blurted out, Sam shook his head, not impressed with him at all

"a what?" i asked confused

"a demon, like the thing from hell, they're real. My name is Dean and this is my brother Sam. We're the Winchesters. We hunt these types of things" he didn't like seeing her so confused, but she needed to know, her life is in danger

"yep they are real, and we are here to protect you" sam said looking at me

"um okay.. so what do i do?" i asked really just confused, Demons? how could they be real?

"You are going to do what you do normally tonight. Me and Sam will demonproof your place, we will set a trap for it. Nothing will get to you" he walked towards her I held her shoulders trying to re-assure me. "We'll be here to protect you"

"um okay.. thank you" i said "you guys can stay in the next room"  

""Okay first lets make the house safe before anything happens. Sammy you make the sigils. I'll salt the house" he grabbed the spray paint from the duffle and threw it to Sam, sam grabbed it and started making the sigils all over the floor and the walls, while i sat there thinking

dean walked towards me "Hey you okay?" he looked at me concerned "Do you want to help me salt the house?" he said trying to distract me a little for what's coming,

"Im fine... im just processing all of this. i need to get undressed first" i said grabbing my clothes from the floor,

"undressed?" he said turned on a little, not trying to show it

"Yeah im in my favorite outfit" i said walking to the bathroom and opened the door

"I can see why, you do look sexy" he said eyeing me up and down, looking at every curve, "why not stay in it" he said with a smirk on his face

"um i dont wanna get it dirty.. thank you" i said blushing alot, what was he doing to me?

"I understand" he said sad that I had to take it off but he understood, because he still want to see me in it afterwards, "you're welcome"

I closed the door and got undressed really fast and put on shorts and a tanktop, and came out in a tanktop and shorts,

"Feel better now?" he asked trying to keep me calm and positive, she is even sexier in casual clothes he thought

"Uh yeah. I do feel better. Honestly this was not what i was going to do today" i said smiling

"What where you going to do?" he said putting away the salt and getting out his purgatory knife, "okay, the house is ready." he handed Sam the demon knife "what's your plan Sammy?"

"i guess wait for it show up" sam said shrugging

"i was going to take more pictures and try on more outfits" i said sitting on my bed

he couldn't help but smile thinking about me dressing up in more outfits, so fine. "Okay lets see what happens" he took a sit on the corner side of the bed waiting for the demon,

"So uh you do this often?" i asked taking my phone out

he looked at me and took a deep breath "Yes, me and my brother do this for a living. Saving people, hunting things, its the famil business." a smile crept at the corner of his mouth thinking of all the times him and Sam have driving long roads for cases like these,

"wow sounds stressful and dangerous" i said

he chuckled a little "Yeah it kind of is stressful, but I wouldn't want to change anything, being on the road with my brother is all that matters. It is dangerous sometimes but we've had years of training and learning from our mistakes." he looked at me and I couldn't help but stare at her beauty

"oh man i can see that, sorry im like uploading something" i said opening my phone and looking through my pictures

"Yes, we have. We've hunter ghosts, vampires, werewolves anything you can think of" he said smiling feeling good about all the things they have killed.

"what are you uploading?" he asked a little curious

"oh thats awesome, oh i took some pics today" i said smiling

""Mind if I see what you took today?" he asked a little curious and exciting to see what I was wearing,

"Um normally you would need to pay" i said smiling

""And how do you want me to pay" looking at me with lust in his eyes. he really wanted me, but he  needed to focus on this case

"like 60$, videos cost more" i explained "i work hard making these"

"Oh wow, that's soooo..." he took a pause not really sure what he wanted to say. he just knew he wanted me badly. But he needed to focus "Anyhow... How many people buys your pictures?"

"alot of people, this is how i make a living" i said putting my phone down

"Oh wow, isn't it weird if someone recognizes you?" he was getting more upset thinking about people seeing my stunning body half naked

"They do. Like on the street, i dont mind it. But i do need someone to protect me" i said laughing

"How so, do they get creepy sometimes" he said with a chuckle in his voice

"Oh yeah they do. But i like doing this. I take requests. And i make personal videos for only 100$" i said smiling

"personal you say" he smirked a little. "And if i want a personal video what would I get it in?" he started wanting more of me,

"Um really anything. Except i dont do weird shit" i said remembering that one time,

"Weird shit? What kind of weird things?" he asked very curiously

"I am literally not going to" i said laughing "thats up to you"

"Fine" he said rolling my eyes and laughing at me... "what do you recommend?"

"Dont look at me, its all you" i said laughing

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna just gonna say it... I want you, you are sexy and I need you" he said walking up to me, not being able to take it

"You what?" I looked at him blushing

"I want you, I can't stop looking at your amazing body, the things you can do, the things you do to me, I... You... Uhh" he  was trailing off thinking about my body, looking at me with a little blush

"What do i do to you?" I asked looking at him, his face was getting redder by the second

"You, you open the door in your sexy lingerie, walking around in it with confidence, the way your hips sway as you walk. You are exotic" he couldn't help but say that, just thinking of me in that outfit has an affect on him. he tried to look at me but he couldn't,

"Well, that was because im used to it. I walk around like that all the time. But thank you. I did notice you staring at me. " i said biting my lip "you can look at me"  

"Oh sweetheart I want to do more than just look at you" he could feel his heart pounding in his ear, not really sure how I would react,

"well i dont normally let people touch me," i said getting closer to him

he started moving closer as I came closer to him, he could feel my breathing on his skin, "I prefer that people don't touch you," he moved closer to my ear and whispered softly "I want to be the only one"

I smiled and was more turned on than ever, i could feel his breath on me "thats not what i meant." i said getting even more close

"Oh" he said in a low soft voice. "Then what do you mean" he said looking at me with lust in his eyes, wanting me even more,

"I like to be in control" i said smiling, "its way more fun"

"Oh baby," he couldn't help but it, but he needed me "And why do you think I'll allow that?"

"Why wouldnt you allow that?" i asked

he grabbed my waist and pulled me tightly against him, feeling my body so close to his. "Sweetheart, I'm always the dominant one in the bedroom" he said as he stroked his thumb over my lips,

"Oh but i didnt say dominating. I said in control. Like tying up and i dont know not letting you touch me" i said licking his thumb

"Baby you're gonna start something" he said smirking at me, he felt his legs getting numb, I was  doing something to him not lots were able to do,

"Dont you want to start something? Daddy?" i asked adding the last part

With in seconds he pinned me against the wall, his face inches from mine, he could feel the hairs on my body rise as he whisper slowly "Say that again"

"Say what again?" I asked pretending not to know, feeling more wet than ever

"Oh baby girl you know what" he slowly moved his hands to my hips around my ass

"I dont know what. Daddy" i said it again and felt his breath on my neck

"There it is..." he said pinning his body against mine "Baby girl, I want you"  i could feel his hard cock against me, making me wet by the second

"well what are you waiting for?" i asked

"im waiting for you" he said with his lips close to my neck, he started kissing my neck then putting his hands up my shirt, and feeling nothing,

"im not wearing a bra" i whispered, he took my shirt off really fast and started kissing my breasts slowly, leaving marks as he did it, i moaned a little as he kept going, and then he pulled down my shorts and ate me through my panties, i could not take it anymore

"just fuck me" i commanded and he smirked at me,

"patience" he said and then lowered my panties and began to lick me, i held his head as he started doing it, it felt so good  

"fuckkk, holy shit" i moaned as he kept going, getting back up, i ubuckled his belt and felt his hard on through his boxers, and then lowered it down, started kissing the tip of his hard cock, and then put the whole thing inside of my mouth before licking it first,

"fuck thats right baby, keep going" he said moaning through the words, i kept going until he could not take it anymore and laid me down roughly, and put himself inside of me, fucking me until i moaned way too loud, he covered my mouth with his hand and kept going eventually making me suck him off and came on my face,

[orangepunkwitch-blog]

Not dead!  Not an abandoned blog, either!  This kinda happens from time to time, so lemme explain myself:

Did the read-more page-breaking thing so nobody has to scroll for eons if they don’t care to read...

Anyway, my absence.  My mental and physical health have been absolute shit, and I’m starting to think I may have seasonal depression on top of situational depression as well since every damn winter I have no energy to do much of anything.  But as this year progresses, I’m finding myself perking up some.  My physical health is largely due to flare-ups (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s strongly considered that I may have endometriosis; I need to get a laparoscopy to find out and currently cannot afford that, etc. etc. long story for another time) and lack of proper dieting and exercise.  The flare-ups and shitty periods are why I can’t exercise when I’d like to, and we can’t always afford healthy food for strength and energy I need to do things (my metabolism is high enough to where gaining weight isn’t exactly an issue with me despite being almost 30).  The worst of my pain occurs the first couple of days on my period, to which I have ultimately resorted to smoking marijuana which helps tremendously.  The only time I use it off the rag is during an extremely bad flare-up, which are thankfully rare.

‘Kay... mental health...  My husband and I still live with my parents here on the farm and it’s been stressful to the point where I’m getting anxiety-related chest-pains from time to time lately (long story-short: my parents---especially my dad---are assholes and even Loki said that no amount of magick can help them so I just rely on my wards in my room to have a safe haven).  This and the fact that we may have a lack of proper oxygen in this house might be contributing to it.  I plan on beginning my luck at growing pet-safe indoor house plants such as succulents and aloe vera to help with this after visiting a friend’s house whose mom pretty much has an indoor garden and realizing how much better I feel just being there for a few minutes.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about a topic relating to what this blog is about: Paganism, witchcraft, and being a Lokean.

Nope, still a solid Pagan with Druid beliefs and such, still a Lokean, but I haven’t practiced entirely too much witchcraft because there haven’t really been ways for me to use it where it’s needed.  You can’t expect certain spells to work if you’re not doing anything to help it along (such as a job wouldn’t just fall into your lap because you still have to apply for a job).  Money spells can get expensive if you’re doing it constantly for your spouse or parents because you’ll eventually run out of candles and such (I can’t do it without ingredients because I’m scatterbrained and need a damn decent point of focus and stuff).

I’ve got plans, though!  I still haven’t invoked Loki for practice (which he’s cool with) so there’s that; I need to work out a ritual, and Loki says that for me, being short, sweet, and too the point is the best way to go.  So I’ll be working something out with him in the (hopefully) near future.  There’s also the fact that I plan to try out my green thumb and see about growing pumpkins and sunflowers.  The sunflowers are to help with luck or prosperity or something on the property (honestly, I really wanna grow some out front to make the place look nice and having half a field of these flowers will be great for the faeries living there).  The pumpkins are because I fucking love Halloween and love pumpkin pie and have a few recipes involving pumpkin I wanna try.  I’d also like to try my luck at selling some, too.

While Loki tells me he isn’t associated with pumpkins, he sure as fuck likes to press the whole “come on, you know you wanna” bit onto me with growing them, and I’m getting this feeling that he’ll show up presence-wise whenever I go out to the pumpkin patch, so...  Whatever, I’m gonna grow pumpkins because pumpkins are fucking awesome.

I’ll be asking the neighbor that owns the property across the street from us if I can do some bone-hunting and maybe a little bit of fossil-hunting.  I still have the deer bones that my friend gave me that I need to wash, plus a dead young skunk I’m trying to decompose for bones, but winter makes this shit hard, so that’s part of my spring/summer activities.  Loki wants me to try and articulate the skunk and have it mounted on a wooden platform and put onto his altar and I’m sitting here like: uuuuhhhhhh you don’t have much in a way of room...  Regardless, articulating a mammalian skeleton will be beneficial in starting myself out in first-hand osteological studying, which is something you kinda have to know if you wanna be a paleontologist (which I do).  I’m also interested in creating a staff involving animal bones, but I’m not sure what I’ll be using it for.  If not for magick use, then it’d make for a great bring-along prop for a future druid character for D&D night (my husband and friends and I are just starting out with D&D because we haven’t been able to afford the books to play in the past, so we’re real excited about this).

Speaking of osteology, I plan on going to the museum with my husband and some friends in Pittsburgh and taking as many reference photos of all the fossil skeletons as I possibly can so I have decent and varied angles of the animals for reference when I practice to better my paleoart.  I don’t wanna keep on using artistic renditions or limited angles of the same damn pics of fossils on the internet for references.  I just need a decent camera, and I’m hoping my mom will stop acting immature and demand from a supposed friend that they give her her camera back.  She has more authority to demand it back than I do, and I never talk to those people anyways, so it would make sense if she tried getting the damn thing back.  Even though it’s sort of old, it’s still very high quality even for today’s standards and cost my parents nearly a grand to purchase.  If not, my husband (who is extremely knowledgeable in technology and quality) can help me get a new decent camera (because my iphone sucks and his samsung phone can only hold so much memory for the amount of pictures I wanna take).

I do plan on doing more magick this summer, largely to help with learning a new instrument.  While I do wanna properly learn the French Horn since I simply have the instrument, I need the proper mouthpiece (not sure if I’ve bitched about this in past posts), but every damn time I try to get the proper mouthpiece that I need, shit happens and I never get it.  However...  There’s a very strong possibility I could be learning how to play drums.  I’ve always wanted to play but my parents did their damnedest to keep me from that thinking I’d just be annoying on drums.  Turns out I’m quite proficient in terms of knowledge on how to play after a clerk at the local music store permitted me to play around on a drum set in one of the tutoring rooms because I paid very close attention to my band teacher helping the percussion section back in middle school.  That knowledge stuck with me because I wanted to play drums so damn bad.  So as it turns out, looks like I’ll be a drummer after all!  It’d be a great way to help me stay in some upper-body shape and help relieve stress through movement while creating music.  I’ll worry about starting a band later once I’ve actually become proficient in actually playing the drums, though.

Loki has made sure I stayed on the right path to where I don’t completely go on hiatus regarding creativity.  I have a deviantART now if anyone is interested, and I’ve been working on some DIY punk clothing for myself.  I’ll also be working on getting my hair how I want and learning how to apply makeup.  It’s apparently time that I start expressing myself how I want now that I know what I’m doing.  I’m going to go for a goth-punk look that I’ve always wanted since forever, just didn’t know how to achieve the look without spending a fuck ton of money (turns out that I never needed to in the first place).

....yay tangents.

Loki’s basically been trying to teach me to stop relying on the pendulum so damn much.  Basically I have to accept that I’m not going to know everything and find some other coping mechanism unless I absolutely have to consult with a pendulum, otherwise he’s just going to lie to me to hammer the lesson into my head.  I mean, his opinions?  Fine, sometimes I can’t take a hint on my own, he knows it, and sees the pendulum being something that could work.  But other stuff I won’t get into, he’s like, “Okay look...”  He’s also apparently preferring that I use tarot readings in general divination than runes.  I think it’s because the runes were a nice beginner’s way of helping me figure out the whole divination thing.  I’ll Sometimes combine tarot with the pendulum if I’m not sure and very damn confused on certain things, but other than that, I’ve been getting the hang of it.  I still need the handbook because holy dumbfuck, I can’t remember every little thing about every damn card.

Actually, this one tarot spread tried to basically tell me to compare what I’m going through to a caterpillar’s life and I’m currently in the pupa stage.  Meaning: I’m working on the appearance that I want, and when I finally achieve it, something something butterfly/moth analogy.  Of course, it isn’t narrating my whole damn life, just a part of my life.

Regarding art, I’ve been working with Kenaz, and that’s the rune I have on the Loki painting I may or may not have shared here sometime ago (I’m pretty sure I did but I’m too lazy to go get it so...)  The painting has now been moved to a new part of my room (after rearranging shit for the millionth time) and it’s lined up to where it’s directly across from where I sit to do art.  Ever since then, I’ve been able to dish out projects with higher quality than what I usually do at a faster rate.  It’s just that lately, thanks to precipitation, I can’t do charcoal drawings for a while.  Reason being is that I have to go to the outer garage to spray fixatif on it when I’m done and I need proper air circulation for that, and my windows aren’t meant to be opened... the architect of this house was a fucking idiot.

I am not entirely sure if I’ll be purchasing and reading anymore Pagan/witchcraft books for a good while, especially after being better informed, checking my amazon wish list, and finding out that some of the stuff I wish-listed is empty garbage because a lot of crud cranked out by Llewelynn tends to be garbage for money (note: I said “a lot,” not “all.”)  But I do make purchases of incense from a small business witchy shop (they make their incense sticks).  Lately, I’ve been focused on finding affordable boxes suitable for Bast’s, Thoth’s, and Cernunnos’ altars because my asshole cat likes to knock only the tiny shit off them.  I’d also like to get proper statues for Bast and Thoth, too.

I’m also interested in making a smaller besom for general workings, and putting my bigger one up above the front door for protection purposes.

I don’t know how to end a ridiculous post like this, so that’s all I’ve got for now.  I’m not disinterested, it’s just I don’t have a whole lot going for me, plus my health isn’t entirely the best right now.  Take care, everyone!

[seven-oomen]

Lol, glad to be of service on the plot detail.  Can not wait to find out precisely how I helped, and congrats on finishing the chapter.  Very, VERY excited for the new one, though if previous experience is anything to go by, it’ll probably show up right about when I have to clock in.  But that will give me something to look forward to during my shift. :D  That game sounds awesome, but so intense.  The other person I know paying it said she only made it about three hours before she had to pause for a while due to emotional overload.  And I’m well used to that authorial tendency towards “sorry not sorry” when it comes to reader reactions. XD

Oh god, I love the idea of them as potentially competing players.  Huge chunks of the unaffiliated/unaffected Houses would get caught up in the rumors and romance of it all.  Chris in the stands getting all kinds of weird looks because he keeps rooting for both teams (uh…no pun intended?).   And yeah, I like Defense Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic for Chris.  Oh god I can see all of them excelling at the dueling club.  He and Noah take Muggle Studies and develop a minor fascination with muggle weaponry.  Ooh, what would their Patronuses (Patroni?) be?  Would Peter be a wolf Animagus instead of a werewolf given their representation in the books?

And I love all the kids reacting to new siblings.  (Jackson will always be the baby, even when he’s not, lol.)  Hmm, I can’t decide if I like the idea of going more fantasy or sci-fi for the nursery (Fables sounds amazing, though, and I feel I need to find some copies.  But perhaps slightly dark for a nursery.)  Part of me feels they could give it sort of Hobbit-y feel, with rolling hills and towering forests, but add woodland characters in from lots of other series, too, scattered throughout the trees (and Ents, and Groots).  Maybe a fake tree in one corner with one or two of those hanging chair things.  But part of me just keeps screaming ���OMG OUTER SPACE!!!"  She could paint galaxies and nebulas across one wall.  They could put glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, and have a mobile of Star Wars ships over one crib and one of Star Trek ships over the other.  Gah, I can’t decide!  And Malia (or Peter) would totally need to make them each one of these wolf lovey blankets.  In the correct colors for Peter’s coat, possibly out of the yarn with his fur, so the scent could comfort them.  I actually found a number of geeky hats, etc, that she could make for them (I may have gotten a bit carried away.  Again.  In my defense they’re adorable.)  Now I’m also curious how the kids set up their own rooms in the new house.  Also curious where Ben’s deductive skills might later lead him.

You are very welcome for that image.  It is a lovely one isn’t it?  And can you imagine some of the poses they’d do for photo ops (especially with how shameless Peter is?)  I also think one of the kids would manage to convince them to go out into the Preserve in those costumes to get some  nicely atmospheric shots for Malia’s blog.  At least one of those ends up on one of the walls of the house (nursery if more fantasy themed, living room/den otherwise)  I just wish I could have found better pics than Google was providing.  I refuse to believe there are that few guys that do Red Riding Hood.  I know I’ve seen it at cons before.

Ugh, I have SO MANY FEELINGS about slow dancing together, and singing to/with each other.  Just.  All the yes.  Gimme.  Which reminds me, I was listening to one of the Guardians Awesome Mixes the other day, and it occurred to me that "O-o-oh Child” would actually work fairly well for the playlist, or as a lullaby they sing to their kids (maybe a hand me down from another family member, sung together before everything went to shit, then separately as a tiny point of connection, they start using it again when the newer kids come along.  Maybe they even catch one of the older kids singing it to one of the babies?  Idk, I’m apparently having feels.)

Omg, yes, go to bed, lol!  Sleep is helpful and useful, especially when sick.  (I say, as though I’m not terrible about it as well.)  Enjoy your day off, and the probable many hours of gaming it will entail.

This is the section I changed:

The condom breaking on Noah and Peter had been one hell of a spectacle between the three of them. After what happened with him they’d been on edge and actively trying to avoid another accident. Anu, however, had other plans for them and had caused another pregnancy scare. They could only hope that they wouldn’t have to face reality once again. When Peter had told him he had three heartbeats and his scent had changed, he’d freaked out beyond belief. Merlia had bought him a pregnancy test and Talia had offered to have a talk with his father when it came back positive. He’d declined. He really didn’t want to tell his father that he was currently pregnant. And if Peter and the wolves were to believed, with twins. His father would carve his babies out of his stomach before he allowed him to carry to term. A protective hand rested on his abdomen and he looked up to find Peter staring at him, smiling.

Originally I had written that Chris wasn’t worrying and that he didn’t know he was pregnant just yet. Thanks to our back and forth, I realized, wait a second that’s a really big plot hole and I need to fix that.

I think Malia not telling Stiles was a plot hole as well, but I didn’t catch it on time and it’s not glaring in this case. (I think, I hope.) Whoops.

I’ve finished the game by now and I am very torn on it. On the one hand, I was very emotional but it just got darker and darker as it progressed and we are forced to spend time with a character we don’t like. And the way they wrote that story just doesn’t work for me. Which is really sad because the first game was my favorite game ever. And my Joel cosplay was one of the first cosplays that let me be a dude. I realized I was trans and got comfortable with that fact through cosplay. And Dean Winchester and Joel were fundamental cosplays for this. (I’m also planning a really dope Peter Hale cosplay. I’m so excited. Lemme show you some pics of what I want to do with SFX)

So this game, it’s very intense for me and I couldn’t finish it because of its story. I watched the rest on Youtube and I agree with many that it’s not a bad story, it’s just not likable. And you’re not meant to like it, but when I play games I play them for the story and to know this story is so unlikable. It kinda kills me inside.

But it definitely drives me to write a really good likable story myself. Even if it gets dark, I want people to say yeah, ok. I get it. I understand why these characters did this. But I’m happy this ended well and my favorite characters got a happy ending together. That’s what I want Once upon a Time to mean.

"O-o-oh Child” would actually work fairly well for the playlist, or as a lullaby they sing to their kids (maybe a hand me down from another family member, sung together before everything went to shit, then separately as a tiny point of connection, they start using it again when the newer kids come along.  Maybe they even catch one of the older kids singing it to one of the babies?

I loved this suggestion so much, I once again put it in the story. It’s gonna be sweet but also heart wrenching. I can’t wait to see your reaction.

And once again, I adore all of this. I just have a lot I wanna say, also in regards to your reviews and I’m trying to figure out what things I can talk about.

This story is rather full of men who are uncles, in fact. But not men who are from U.N.C.L.E., that's a different fandom entirely. Am I getting a bit slap happy? Quite possibly. Oh well.)

This had me hollering, thank you for that. I honestly don’t know what my uncle obsession is in this story. It just fits? But this was funny, my god.

"Please..." Melissa muttered. "Uncle Chris, you patented the kicked puppy look" Did you mean for that to be Derek?

Yeah, the lines were supposed to be :

"Please..." Melissa muttered. 

"Uncle Chris, you patented the kicked puppy look" 

I missed that one in the edit, but I fixed it! So there was a space that I missed. New line, new character saying something.

Had a moment of delayed reaction to noticing that Peter says "I've made these", not "I've had these made" (was too excited and reading too quickly the first time), and like, made as in carved himself?

I was wondering why that hadn’t come up yet, hahaha, but I see. And yeah, he carved it himself with his own claws. I thought that had a deeper meaning and that’s where the wood carving headcanon came from.

I think that’s everything that I can address right now. I’m definitely writing everything else down.

And I will definitely share a sweet little flashback today and find a good FC for John Hale. (Nathaniel, Talia, Merlia, and Peter’s dad.)

I’m thinking:

But if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know ^^

[cerealmonster15]

ddadds kids....

i like thinking about them as one big extended cul-de-sac family... [headcanons and stuff!]

imagine all the families spending the holidays together! i’m sure some celebrate things that the rest dont but theyd probs have one big generic get together during The Holiday Season

all of the kids are crammed together on one big “kid’s table” even tho like half of them are teenagers and there are more offspring than parents

someone always ends up starting a food fight,, usually ernest and lucien, or the twins [either pair. both pairs?? christie and christian vs hazel and briar??]

this was referenced in game once so amanda probs ends up babysitting a lot when she’s home from college for breaks+ during that short time shes still around before she leaves! she’d be  a cool fun babysitter, but tough enough to keep some of the more rambunctious kids in check ;p

[ernest voice] dad i dont NEED a babysitter!!! [hugo voice] son i want to know that i can be away for the weekend and come home to a house that isn’t on fire

ernest is probs really snarky to amanda when she babysits like “youre not the boss of me” and going out of his way to cause trouble, but amanda is Cool and probs gives him a run for his money with snark and idk shenanigans ensue and he probs secretly admires her and thinks she’s awesome but would rather die than let anyone ever find out

lucien looks like he might be fairly close to amanda’s age? they probs dont have all that much in common, but damien’s date revealed that lucien listens to mcr, and amanda made her dad listen to black parade, so I bet they could bond over some music tastes here and there

LET LUCIEN GIVE AMANDA A COOL GOTH MAKEOVER

amanda: pleeeeeaaaaassseeeeeee ;D??? lucien: no way. the goth lifestyle isnt for posers i think with enough pestering she’d get him to cave. he’d take great time and care while painting her nails to make sure he does it Right

amanda probs comments on how careful and skilled he does it like “wow you really take this stuff seriously” “uh obviously??”

once he finishes, amanda takes a pic, and then all the other neighbors see her and are bothering lucien to make them look cool too. he pretends to hate it but actually has a lot of fun and is secretly really happy that they think he’s good at what he does

amanda convinces lucien to do like, cool goth makeup videos and put them on youtube/instagram. she helps him with filming and doing photography of final looks and together they get a lot of followers. sometimes she’ll guest star in his videos if he needs a face model other than his own

amanda’s kinda freaked out by christie and christian at first but over time gets used to and sees past their “creepy twin shtick” and, much like her dad [in the joseph brownie date] learns to use it to mess with them and possibly other people

at first chris probably doesnt talk to amanda a lot and keeps to himself when she’s over, but maybe over time she’d adapt to him and learn a few things hes interested in and express gentle interest in those things to kind of help him open up to her more

chris gets quietly attached to her like shes an older sister

everyone in the cul de sac does. they love amanda

AND EACH OTHER

i want daisy to be involved with the carmensita and amanda girl band thing mentioned briefly during one of mat’s dates. that’d be adorable

you know what else would be adorable? allllll the cul de sac kids coming to briar and hazel’s softball games to support them. 

the kids going to each others’ anything to support them!! when theyre in clubs and activities that put on shows or performances or other sports games, as many of the neighbors that can make it are there

when they get older, they try to be more and more obnoxious to embarrass their neighbors in front of everyone, like making huge support signs and banners with glitter with a stupid yet supportive pun that one of their dads helped come up with, or printing their neighbor’s face on a tshirt or a giant cutout on a popsicle stick, shouting as loud as possible 

they def went to amanda’s actual graduation and PROBABLY ALL CRIED

a lot of this has amanda centric bc i Love Her, but also,,

maybe hugo and craig start going to wrestling matches together [+dadsona] so ernest sees a lot of the cahn kids. if amanda’s in town, she’s with them and in charge. if not, ernest is technically in charge, but secretly [not so secretly probably] the dads are counting on briar and hazel [briar, mostly] to keep things from falling to disaster for the few hours theyre out

they all like to take turns riding on the Giant Dog that ernest got in damien’s route [duchess something i think?] [a good component that should be canon in all universes]

“lets put river on him” “no she’ll fall off” “wheres the duct tape” “n o”

if enough disaster happens leaving these kids alone together, they probably get dropped off at another dad’s house to be looked after for a while. joseph volunteers to look after them but since he and mary are already looking after 4 and KEEP LOSING CRISH, they tend to try and ask literally anyone else

[not that theyre bad parents lmao but it’d be easier for all the other parents that just have One Kid]

i bet christian and christie love robert’s wild spooky stories. he probably makes up so much bullshit to fuck with any kid that’s listening

they’d carpool if they could fit enough kids in one car. it’s probably a 2-3 car carpool depending on who’s driving what size car and who needs to go where at what time

there are probably so many inside jokes[CUL DE SAC MEMES......] that are born at every cul de sac gathering. 

when amanda’s home from college, all the kids wanna be the first to tell her all about the SHENANIGANS she’s missed out on

river and crish are bffs once theyre old enough for human interaction. they Have To Be.

pranking each other in the school hallways plz, or just all around chaos. god help the teachers that somehow end up with 2+ of the cul de sac kids in the same class

ernest definitely sends his dog to poop on damien’s lawn outside lucien’s bedroom window / probably does the flaming bag of dog poop ding dong ditch when he knows lucien’s home alone and will be the one to answer the door

christie and chris like when briar and hazel pretend to be each other, so they get their hands on a pair of scissors and chris gives christie a terrible haircut. possibly briar and hazel try and help with the scheme and things just get Worse and joseph has to take his daughter to a Professional [or maybe one of the dads is really good with hair/has had their child do the same thing and is good with fixing a bad haircut ;p]

carmensita goes through a goth phase after she goes over to lucien’s to be babysat one day. mat does not know how to Deal bc this isnt the type of music hes used to playing but he loves and supports his daughter regardless and likes to hear her singing all kinds of music to broaden her horizons and strengthen her talent

G R O U P  T E X T between all the kids old enough to have phones

there are lots of memes. lots. of memes.

they take candid shitty photos of each other all the time and send them in the chat, and particularly amusing ones end up reused as reaction photos

lucien: [sends photo of ernest having just spilled cereal on himself with duchess in the background making off with a piece of pizza] ernest: fuck u carmensita: mood daisy: why are you having pizza and cereal for breakfast? ernest: dont tell me how to live my life amanda: lol tag urself i’m duchess

this is just something i like to do w/ my friends but they’d probs also stealthily take pictures  of each other when theyre out and about and send them to each other in secret like amanda’s out with her dad at the grocery store and spots lucien and damien in the dairy isle and is like FUCK,, she hides behind a stand of donuts or w/e and takes a pic of them and sends it to lucien w/ no context or like “lol hey” 

it becomes a war of sending pics of each other to each other/the group without getting caught. lucien and ernest probably act like they think it’s stupid but get so competitive about it

they all keep score and it probably also would extend to taking stealthy pics of cul de sac dads too Just Because

the dads find out about the competition somehow and like,,, secretly are so into who’s winning. especially brian and dadsona. sometimes they’ll try and serve as a distraction for their child to get a sneaky pic so they can win, but usually the kids prefer the solo missions

val comes and visits sometimes with cool stories. sometimes she brings her girlfriend, and amanda especially looks up to them like two cool older sisters [i dont remember if it was jacket pins or photography that val said her gf is into, but whatever it is i’m sure amanda would geek out about it with her]

christie and christian eventually grow out of their “creepy twin” thing but still have a more unique brand of humor/personality. the cul de sac kids are used to them by then, and will THROW DOWN with anyone that bullies them/ calls them freaks or anything like that, or anyone that picks on chis [and eventually crish] by association or for any other reason

THESE KIDS MAY ARGUE AND FIGHT AND STUFF SOMETIMES BUT THEY’LL STICK UP FOR EACH OTHER IF ANYONE OUTSIDE THE CUL DE SAC TRIES TO START SOMETHING W/ ONE OF THEIR OWN

i could go on forever making up headcanons or scenarios for these kids bc i love them and constantly crave more content about them but imma stop here bc it’s been over an hour and this is Long but anyway plz talk to me about these kids + the cul de sac as a whole. share ur headcanons,,,,, i l o v e the m ,,

[angelsd0ntkill]

There are too many interesting things in the concert ask that I wanna answer so I’m doing them all. :^D

How many concerts have you been to? 28 so far.

Have you been to any festivals? Not any proper ones. I guess Paganfest was technically a festival, and same with Heavy Metal Heart, but they were small and indoors so idk.

Which artist/band have you seen the most live? Korpiklaani.

First concert you went to? My Chemical Romance.

Last concert you went to? Heavy Metal Heart 11 Day 2 (Winterthroned, Brymir, and Korpiklaani)

What is your next concert? Ensiferum.

Which artists/bands would you love to see live? Bands I wanna see again: Children of Bodom, Wintersun, Ensiferum, Korpiklaani (always), ALESTORM, BILLY TALENT, Iron Maiden, Nightwish, Arkona. Bands/Musicians I wanna see, period: AC/DC, Lady Gaga, Blackpink, Dalriada, Marina and the Diamonds, Nicki Minaj, The Pretty Reckless, WARMEN, That Poppy. And as I’ve said, I would have loved to see Michael Jackson, 2NE1, My Chemical Romance, Norther with Petri, Enska with Jari, and Tokio Hotel in the Scream or Humanoid era. Actually even Zimmer 483 era woulda been awesome.

The farthest you’ve traveled to go to a concert? Ehh... idk whether Guelph to Toronto or my current home town to Helsinki is a longer trip. The former took longer, but that could be coz of the bus route. I’m too lazy to look it up. Point is, I haven’t traveled very far at all for a concert.

Best opening act you’ve seen? Winterthroned wasn’t technically an opening act but they’re the only ones who come to mind. Eluveitie was pretty good, I guess. I liked them better live than I do otherwise (they opened for Bodom the first time I saw them).

Worst opening act you’ve seen? Whatever bands opened for Billy Talent the first time I saw them. I’ve never been a screamo fan, my dudes, and those headache-enducers did not help that fact.

Have you met any bands/artists at a concert? Not AT the concert, but afterwards, I’ve met all of Korpiklaani, Chris from Alestorm, Olli and Tuomas from Turisas, Masha and Vladimir from Arkona, and, if we’re counting the listening party, Teemu and Jukka from Wintersun.

What’s one thing you have to bring to a concert? Money to buy merch.

What’s the most you’ve paid for a ticket? $78 (Canadian) for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. (Side note: I looked through my tickets for this question and I’m dying @ the prices I’ve paid for shows there holy fuck metal bands have spoiled me..........)

Best concert you’ve been to? Most concerts I’ve been to have been AWESOME, but my first show will always stand out because it was the first, and it was my favourite band, and it was at the height of my love for them, and I still refer to it as a spiritual experience coz, well, that’s what it felt like. I’ve never felt such a connection to a crowd since, I’ve never had music touch my heart that way since, I’ve never felt that passion and whirlwind of emotion and sheer awe since.

Worst concert you’ve been to? Honestly, probably the first time I saw Children of Bodom. Not because the band or set-up was bad or anything, but because I got pulled down into the pit,grabbed by assorted people, a drunk man put practically all his weight on me and tried to kiss me??? and I had to punch him to get away, I got separated from the people I was with, and I ended up having to spend the whole show near the back, not even able to see the band. And this is literally all I remember from the show!! What songs did they play? What antics did they get up to? HELL IF I KNOW!!

Have you been in a social media post an artist posted after a show? YEAH, since moving back to Finland and making sure to be in the front as often as possible I’ve found myself in loads of after-show pics on Facebook. :D Also, when I saw Ensiferum and Finntroll in Canada, I was mentioned in a Finnish newspaper in Toronto coz they could see my Finnish flag. B) Not social media, but still cool.

Funniest concert memory? The singer of Winterthroned asked if we wanted to hear a joke and we were like YEAH and he was like it’s a bad one and I yelled EVEN BETTER and he applauded me and told the joke: “What does it say at the bottom of a Swedish swimming pool? ... Smoking Prohibited.” ... which I found hilarious for some reason. And the whole thing was so random I was just like lolwat. There are probably funnier things I’ve seen but this is so recent it’s the first thing that came to mind.

Do you buy your tickets as soon as they go on sale, after, or the day of? As soon as possible if it’s a band I love, maybe later if I’m not sure whether I want to/can go, but I never the day of, I don’t wanna risk it being sold out.

Have you ever been noticed by an artist at a concert? Hahaa, yeah. The Finnish flag got me noticed at the Ensiferum and Finntroll show by almost everyone in both bands. I was also front-and-center the first time I saw Korpiklaani at a tiny club in Toronto, so it was kinda hard not to get noticed. I also kinda tugged on Jonne’s hair to get his attention, whoops. I apologized after the show, though. :^D And at Paganfest I was also front-and-center and when Alestorm was setting up I got a fist-bump from Chris!

Have you met any internet friends at a concert? Not yet... :0c

Which concert that you’ve been to has had the best stage setup/production? Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s set-up was pretty boss. MCR’s was definitely impressive when they were touring for the Black Parade, too. I don’t usually pay that much attention to that, since it’s rarely a big deal at the shows I go to. :P

Have you ever caught a guitar pick, drumstick, got a setlist, etc.? I got Finntroll’s setlist when I saw them, and I’ve got picks from Korpiklaani, My Chemical Romance, and Wintersun. Also, when I saw Billy Talent in Finland, I CAUGHT AARON’S DRUMSTICK, but so did the 3 girls to my left, and since they were all there together, they won the tug-of-war. :(

Favorite concert venue? The Opera House in Toronto became a fast fave, and in Helsinki it’s Nosturi, followed by Virgin Oil Co., followed by The Circus.

Least favorite concert venue? The Sound Academy in Toronto annoys me for some reason. Also don’t really like Kaapelitehdas in Helsinki, but I’ve only been there once. I think it’s coz they’re both kinda inconveniently situated, and something about the layout, especially Kaapelitehdas.

Which do you prefer: indoor or outdoor concerts? Indoor.

Which do you prefer: clubs, theaters, arenas, or stadiums? Clubs.

Have you ever missed school or work to go to a concert? LMAO YES. Or, well, when I worked, I’d make sure to book that day or weekend off well in advance, but school? Lol, I was an excellent student, I can miss a day or an afternoon no problem.

Have you ever been surprised with tickets from someone? My mom got me a Billy Talent ticket for my 17th(?) birthday, but other than that, nope, I’m usually the one surprising others with tickets.

Who do you enjoy going to concerts with? Ehh, I’m used to going to concerts alone, so it kinda throws me off when I’ve gone with someone. It’s not bad, it’s just weird. Different. I haven’t gone to shows with anyone one person enough to answer this.

General admission or seated concerts? General admission.

Have you been to multiple dates for one tour? No. :(

Have you been to concerts 2 or more days in a row? No. :(

Have you ever received free tickets from a contest or an artist’s crew? Nope.

Have you been front row and/or back row for a concert? I always strive to be at the front, though sometimes (first time seeing Bodom, last time seeing MCR, only time seeing Stam1na) I started out in the front and either got forced to the back or had to shove my way there lest I have a panic attack and die or something.

Have you ever gotten sick, bruised, or broken a bone after a concert? I’ve probably caught a cold from waiting outside in below-zero temperatures wearing jeans, a tshirt, and a hoodie (ain’t nobody got time for coat check). And of course I’ve found mystery bruises. No broken bones, though.

Have you ever had surprise guests at a concert you attended? Jon Gallant from Billy Talent appeared on stage during the opening band’s set the last time I saw MCR. That was awesome. I knew the bands were friends, but I never saw that coming. :D

Did you start listening to an opening act after you saw them in concert? I really liked what little I heard of Valkeat, who opened for Wintersun. I also liked Winterthroned, though as I said, they weren’t technically an opening act. Both are on my “listen to more of” list.

What’s the latest you’ve got home from a concert? Whenever I went to concerts in Toronto, I’d have to crash at my dad’s place in Richmond Hill and then get home a.s.a.p. the next day if I had school or work, so... latest getting to my dad’s was probably 6:30 to 7:00 in the morning, and if we’re counting actually getting home then like... 11:00 to noon the next day? Haha.

When is the earliest you’ve arrived to a venue for a concert? 8 hours before doors.

Have you seen your favorite artist in concert? Yep, but I’d love to see them more!! Alas, I cannot, as they have broken up.

Longest you’ve waited in line for a concert? 8 hours. In rain and snow. Without a jacket or gloves. #YOLO

Have you ever attended a concert alone? Almost exclusively.

What’s the best part of a concert in your opinion?

Have you ever heard/seen an artist soundcheck before their show? Nope.

What’s the biggest venue you’ve been to a concert at? The Air Canada Center or the Molson Amphitheater. Not sure which one’s bigger.

What’s the smallest venue you’ve been to a concert at? Mod Club, the place in Toronto where I first saw Korpiklaani.

Have you ever had side stage seats? No.

Which venue have you been to the most concerts at? Nosturi, maybe?

Do you post a lot about a concert you’ve attended on social media or very little? I post pictures and might tell a story or two. :^D

Has a concert or tour you were planning on going to got cancelled? No.

Have you seen a band in concert before a member left the band / they broke up? My Chemical Romance for BOTH -- I saw them before Bob Bryar left and after, and obvs before they broke up altogether. Saw C.o.B twice before the Roope debacle, too. And I’m not sure about this, but is Aaron not touring with Billy Talent anymore? Oh, and I’ve seen Ensiferum before Emmi left. Well, other than that I’m not sure about line-up changes and whatnot.

Favorite song you’ve heard live? Probably “Famous Last Words” and “It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Fucking Deathwish” by MCR.

Have you ever seen an artist/band play an album in full? My Chemical Romance played The Black Parade in full and came back and did a bunch of songs from the previous two albums.

Which artist would you refuse to see in concert? Uh. Anyone I don’t like?? Idk, there are some artists where I probably wouldn’t buy a ticket myself, but if someone wanted to take me, I’d go. It’s hard to think of specific bands/artists I would refuse to see. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to, like, a grindcore show or some screamo shit or techno/DM/whatever you call that nonsense my brother listens to. Oh, and obviously NSBM is completely out of the question.

What’s the craziest thing a fan has done at a concert you’ve been to? Crowd-surfing/stage-diving. I remember at Paganfest while Turisas was on security barely had to do anything, Warlord had that shit under control, he’d just toss bitches back into the crowd.

Which venue(s) would you love to go to for a concert? My favourites...? There aren’t really any special venues I’m dying to see, lmao.

Have you ever been to a concert at a venue that no longer exists? Not that I know of.

Have you ever lost something/got something stolen at a concert? I lost my bus ticket home at an MCR show which fucking sucked coz I was super low on money to begin with and I had to buy a new one using my Finland Fund. >.>

Have people made fun of you or laughed because of how you were acting at a concert? Ehh, one time I covered my nose coz someone behind me was smoking weed and the smell makes me nauseous and I kinda didn’t wanna throw up or pass out, and my boyfriend at the time got all huffy and annoyed and was like “grow up” and I said “you grow up” and rushed off and people laughed a bit, but more like in a “daaamn u fucked up” way imo.

Have you ever been kicked out of a concert? Nope.

Has an artist thrown or spit water on you? Nope.

Have you ever seen a security guard dance to a song at a concert? No.

Have you seen any acts you don’t like at a concert? Huntress and Ex Deo at Paganfest. -_-

Have you ever passed out or thrown up at a concert? No, thank the gods.

Have you seen any artists in concerts that you don’t like anymore? Nope!

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

[jess-the-vampire]

Tom Vs The Forces Of Evil (Au), Chapter 9

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Tom took a seat across from his parents, he's lived here so many years and yet tonight the place felt all new. Plenty of food was set out before them despite being only a family of three, most were corn made meals, but there was also plenty of meats and other dishes to select from. Tom had already grown used to eating one meal together with Marco and his parents, usually homemade, sometimes take-out, sometimes leftovers. Being back to having a large buffet set out in front of him with his own parents was strange, especially since they were very quiet during dinners while Marco and his parents almost never stopped talking. Tom sat up straight, trying to regain his princely posture, he didn't want to look like earth had removed his royal stature and training. He clutched the wand in his hands hard, his heart was speed up and he felt a bit sweaty. He missed having Marco relax him already.

The King looked him up and down, taking in his look, maybe Marco liked his normal style but it wasn't becoming of a prince to wear that sort've garb at dinner. "So, where's your wand?", He asked, before Tom presented in onto the table in front of him. "I've been practicing, got a hang of some new spells and it's pretty awesome...", he started as his father examined the wand for damage. "You're keeping up with your studies on being king?", he asked. "Yes..", Tom answered, "Daily..." "Demonstrate your dining skills and after dinner we shall see how far you've come in your studies..", He started to put some food gently on his plate and Tom relaxed a bit and waited for his parents to finish grabbing heir food before he started getting his own. Just relax, just do your best, and you'll be back on earth before you know it... He felt his father watch his every move as he ate quietly, he tried to distract himself by wondering what Marco was up to. Thinking about this test of skills in front of his father would only make him worse. Marco wasn't here, he needed to relax and remain calm on his own. He's done that before right? He can do it again. He was actually glad for once that his parents didn't talk to him during dinners because the less time he spent with them and the less time he spent being interrogated was fine with him. He was just anxious to see Marco again and be out of this place. After he ate he carefully set his utensils down and looked up at his father, trying not to lose eye contact with him despite how much he hates looking into his eyes. He was already finished eating, no surprise, he wasn't smiling as per usual, but then again Tom could never recall many moments he ever saw him smile. His mother didn't say much, never did, kings were more important then queens in their kingdom so she wasn't nearly as important as his father was, unlike the underworld. Tom sometimes was certain she was kind and gentle, but those memories were little and sometimes he could've swore he imagined them, as she mainly did what his father said. His parents stood up in unison. "Come Tom, we're heading to the ballroom for your magic demonstration.....", the man said, waiting for Tom to stand up and lead him to the next room. Tom trailed behind his parents nervously, he couldn't tell if he was doing anything wrong, and that only made him more nervous. "Your birthday is coming up...." Tom flinched, looking up at his father. "Yeah......" "We're working on plans for your official party alread-" "No...", before he thought about it, it came out of his mouth, Tom felt his heart drop. "What?", Tom could hear a bit of disgust in his father's voice. "No, I-I....I wanna celebrate it on earth..", Tom said quickly, "I-I don't wanna be any trouble..." His dad didn't reply, and just kept walking, Tom wished he could see his face, "You don't need to spend alot on my party, I wanna spend it on earth, with my friends....a traditional earth party..." He had frankly, been wanting to celebrate an earth party for awhile. Mewni parties for him were pretty, and regal, and extremely boring. His friends weren't typically invited, not that he had many, his dad just invited a bunch of royals for him to talk to. And even then his parents hardly interacted with him, sometimes he wondered if they even remembered what the party was for. Marco told him about earth parties; games, friends, present-opening with pictures, music, cake made specifically for him. Everything he described sounded like a dream, and with him there, he'd actually have someone to hang out with. Maybe he always just agreed with what Marco said was cool, but everything he said just felt cool, like a dream. And he was never disappointed in Marco's ideas. "You're next in line to be king....", he heard him mutter. "Yeah, and wouldn't it be nice to learn about other cultures? Spend time at their way of celebrating?", Tom started, "As king I should get to know how things are done by other types of people, right?" Tom's father didn't answer, and Tom prompted he was ignoring him now. Maybe for now it was best he didn't test his father, that never ended well before, there was no reason to do it now. And he was willing to do anything to get back to earth as soon as possible. - Marco paced back in forth in his room, eager for his friend's return. He wanted to know he was ok, that he was doing well and his father wasn't bullying him. But his mind was jumping to the worst conclusions as per usual. He kept trying to reassure himself, Tom was going to be fine, he was great, he was going to do his best and no matter what Marco would be proud of him. He stopped pacing and took some deep breaths, Tom's absence at dinner just felt unnatural, and he didn't talk at all at the table and hardly ate a bite because of him. His parents were also a bit quieter then usual, Marco told them where Tom was, and they seemed ok with it, but it's clear they could tell Marco wasn't ok with it. Tom had only been gone an hour and a half, and Marco felt like it was much longer. He fell backwards onto his bed, staring at his ceiling and all the weird stains on it. He missed Tom already, how was ever gonna handle it when or if Tom left Earth for good? Man, he didn't want to think about that right now. "Marco? Pssst!!" Marco jumped up to find a Girl opening up his bedroom window and climbing in, she brushed herself off and took off her backpack. "Janna!!??", Marco yell-whispered. "Yeah, that's me...", she replied, "I'm here on your terms.." "Wait what?" "I'm here to snoop through Tom's things, duh....", she said, pulling out a flashlight, "Tom's clearly out, so until he gets back, this is my chance to dig up something.." Marco was about to say something when she placed a hand over the boy's mouth. "Let me work Marco, it's what you hired me to do....", she patted his cheek and headed out the door to Tom's bedroom. Marco chased after her, "Janna, Tom could be back any minute and I dunno if this is ok..." "Marco, you might not have the guts to do this yourself, but I do, and we're gonna find out what else Tom is keeping secret from us...", She entered the mewman's room, lucky for her she was already familar with this place before and got started with his stash under his bed. "Dude owns alot of Junk, but he's pretty neat for a guy who sweeps things under his bed...", she pulled out a book and started skimming through the pages of anything useful. Marco shrugged, "He's a perfectionist, he just likes things looking right......." "No kidding, I swear he made each side of stored boxes symmetrically even...", she hummed as she used her flashlight to read, there was lots of scribbles and pics of what appeared to be mewman heroes and civilians, there had to be something cool here. "So where's the nerd anyway?" "Oh?", Marco paused for a bit, "Mewni, his folks called in for dinner and to see him use his magic...." She looked up, "You're worried about him aren't you?" "Yeah...it's hard not to be when you assume the worst..." She bit her lip, "You outta tell him how you feel y'know? About his dad?" "Maybe, i just...don't know how to bring that kinda thing up to him....", marco mumbled, "What if i'm wrong? About this?" "What if you're not, Marco? I doubt Tom's gonna leave hating you forever because you were worried about him, he's gonna find out about this biz eventually..." "I guess...." She stood up and rubbed Marco's head, fingers messing up his hair, "Looks like you're both keeping secrets from each other....." Marco removed her hand, "I'm doing it to keep him safe...." "Yeah, and so is he most likely...", she sat back down and continued turning pages. Marco felt sick at the thought of Tom being hurt worse by his dad if he said anything. "Huh...", Janna said, "So...uh....Marco? You heard of Mewnipendence day?" "What?" "It happened awhile ago, like a week after that ball you lovebirds went to....according to this at least.", she showed the flustered boy the page she was on, "Like, his people drove the monsters out of mewni and took over, looks kinda brutal..." Marco took the book from her and grumbled as he looked through the pages, "We're not lovebirds....and lemme guess.....you know the ball from my diary?" She smirked, "You wrote an entire paragraph about how good Tom looked that night, it's kinda hard to forget....." Marco tried to hide his face in the book, Janna was right, it was a Mewman Holiday that happened awhile ago, and Tom didn't tell him about it. But by the sounds of it, it was pretty brutal, and the pictures didn't help. Marco suddenly felt a sense of guilt towards all the monsters he and Tom had encountered in the past. They looked very outmatched next to the mewman army. "I wonder why Tom never told me....", He mumbled. "Maybe he's ashamed, and didn't want you to think he was....like that?", She shrugged and snatched the book from him, "Anyway, not much else here.....I'll check his closet out next..." She carefully started putting everything back where it was while Marco thought to himself, so his people drove monsters off their land? Mewni sounded less appealing the more he learned about it, Tom had to have had a good reason to ignore this. Marco sighed, it wasn't his business anyway though, he didn't need to know every holiday he celebrated. "Wow, for a prince he's got some weird stuff in here...", Janna said, "Fish net shirts, some chokers, lots of shoes with heels, lot of hats with an eye on them....your boyfriend's a dork Marco." She started looking through some boxes, Tom's closet was bigger then it looked, she had much to go through. "He's not my boyfriend....", Marco muttered, "And it's not weird, it's his style and it looks good on him, although I do swear those eyes on his hats move sometimes....." She opened one box and reached inside, "C'mon Marco, I read your diary, I know you think Tom is pretty adorable..." "Of course Tom's adorable!! Have you SEEN him??!", Marco fussed, "C'mon, just focus on what you're doing..." Janna rolled her eyes, "Y'know, you aren't comfortable going through his things, what makes me doing it any better? I mean I don't care, I'm getting paid but..." Marco bit his lip, "I dunno, I-I just...." "This makes kinda breaking the trust a bit easier on you?', Janna asked, pulling out an old sock, "Y'know Diaz, no matter how you do it, you're still getting involved in Tom's business without his permission...". She moved on to another box as Marco sat down on the bed. "I know, and I know it's wrong I just....", the boy fell on the bed, unsure of how to finish that sentence, "Maybe I should stop....stop this stuff, it's not ok....for me to be going through his things, learning his secrets, getting involved in his personal business..." Janna came out of the closet, holding a book, "Dude, you're not doing this to be nosy, you're doing this to help him....I think you deserve a bit of an exception." "Maybe, but I think I need to limit myself on how far i'm going with this, because some of this...doesn't feel right...", He sat up and she sat next to him. "Well, you're paying me to do this....so you tell me, i'm just doing my job....", She showed him the book. A Journal. "I think we hit the jackpot...." - Tom watched his parents take seats in the ballroom, the room was empty except for them, giving him tons of room to shoot spells. He stood in front of them, trying not to look so nervous despite how impossible that was. If stares could kill, he would've dropped dead on the spot thanks to his father. "Thomas.....please explain and demonstrate what you have been taught within your time on earth....", His father asked, watching him closely. "Oh, well....I've been anger free, for a few months now..", Tom started, "I am finally controlling my green magic, and keeping it from taking over my emotions....finding a balance...". His father didn't hide his uninterest very well, giving Tom a subtle look that told him to move on. Tom trailed off, embarrassed. "I've also taken time to create my own spells.....", he started back up, holding out his wand to demonstrate. He mumbled a few words, and an array of colorful ghostly skulls flew out of his wand and swirled around the room before vanishing, Tom didn't get a reply so he decided to keep going, showing off spells inspired by his time on earth. A spell that fired out sharp nachos. A spell that created exploding meatballs. A spell that put people in a musical trance. The list went on. His father still said nothing, not until Tom finished and turned to him nervously. He didn't yell, which was a good sign. His eyebrow had risen a bit, which seemed to imply Tom had done better then he was expecting. He flicked a finger and a chained monster pooed into the center of the room and in front of Tom, startling him. "You seem to be doing well with your spell casting...", He noted, "But....there is something we must try, Tom....I want you to use a torture spell...on this monster....". Tom felt his heart drop, looking at the broken monster before him, he looked underfed and very weak. Another look, and he realized he knew this monster. The assassin from his last visit. "But, he's not attacking me, I-I only fight monsters in self-defense....", Tom said, "It would be cruel......he's defenseless..." "Thomas, I asked this of you, when you become king you will need to understand discipline....when a monster has attacked you, you must be willing to torture them for information....to find out who has opposed you, or who is trying to kill you.", He said coolly, "Monsters have their own methods to get information out of captured soldiers, you need to prove to me you are capable of making tough choices....for the good of your own kind.." "I-I can't do that....", Tom said. "It's not right....Even if a monster tries to kill me....it's just...I don't wanna hurt anyone.." "Thomas, you wouldn't want me to do anything would you?" Tom felt himself flinch, "N-No...but..." "Or I could pay Marco a visit......." Tom felt his heart drop all the way to his stomach, he have an apologetic look to the monster in front of him and closed his eyes as he chanted a spell under his breath. He could hear the monster's screams of pain and  felt tears start to form in his eyes. When it was over he refused to open his eyes, but a snap from his father and the pained sounds of a monster were gone, and reluctantly he opened them. "Very well then, Your training is going well....there are clearly things to be worked on, but it doesn't seem to have entirely ruined you..." He looked at his father to find a face that was clearly curious, but he also seemed disappointed for some reason, like he was expecting something else. He stood up, "Thomas, you can head back to earth to continue your training....you appear to have...much to learn there. We shall call and check up on you in the future...." He and Tom's mother looked towards Tom and let him in the room without so much as a goodbye, and Tom fell to his knees and tried not to cry. - A Journal, if Tom had anything on his dad, it would be in here. Janna opened it and started to flip through, trying to find anything useful. "This....looks private...", Marco noted, "I-I dunno if we should be looking through this...." "Chicken Marco?", She teased, "Is this not what you wanted?" "Well....I-I dunno...I..." "Well, you can back out .....I'm doing my job...", She flipped through till she stopped on a chapter. "Thoughts on My Dad"? We got it....", she skimmed though as Marco tried not to look. He heard her gulp and finally managed to look. "There's not much here...but.... Tom's written enough...he seems like...11 in this, maybe some of these are even a few years before he got the wand?", Janna mumbled. -My dad tells me when I get older, i'm gonna be just like him....like, cool and stuff. Everyone tells me dad is cool, that he handles things well and that he brings a new joy into Mewni. I just I dunno....I don't think i'm ever gonna be like him. I'm not big, and i'm not smart, and people don't like me, Dad says i'm not good enough yet, that I need more discipline. I don't get to leave the castle, and when I do, daddy gets angry. -When i become king, do I have to hurt people too? -I'm a mistake, Dad says so when he's upset with me, i wasn't what he asked for. I keep messing up, and i don't know why i'm so bad at it, i wish i came out right. I need to stop messing up, dad hates it when i mess up and i still do it anyway. -I don't like dad, like....I dunno....i feel like i'm supposed to like him, but i don't wanna, I dunno....is that bad? -Dad pulled me away to talk to me today, after I snuck outside of the castle with lilicia....he caught me. I'm still sore, and I wish I was 14 already so I could magic myself up or something, I wanna talk to the nurses, but they'd think i escaped the castle to monster fight and they'd tell dad and he'd have to get angry again....and punish me again. I get angry too sometimes, Dad tells me it's genetic...does that mean i'm gonna be like this? "Stop....i'm done .." , Marco said, "I've read enough....." Janna put a hand on his shoulder, "Well, you got what you wanted.....", she pulled out her phone and took some pics of the chapter. "Yeah....I did..", Marco sighed, "I wanna see him again so badly....I can't believe he really feels this way....". He rubbed his face with his hands, "I just......This is just so messed up and now he's there, in mewni, with his dad....and I-" "He wrote in this recently..", Janna said suddenly, now looking through another section of the book, "Like it looks like he stopped for a few years, but got back to it once he moved in with you....he's got a chapter on you..." Marco felt his face burn. Janna's grin grew wide, and Marco knew what she was thinking. "No Janna, we've learned enough....i'm not invading his privacy any more then I've already done....",his response made the smile wipe off her face and she rolled her eyes, "Oh c'mon diaz, you aren't the least bit curious to know what he thinks about you?" He was, but how Tom felt was his business and after everything else, Marco didn't think he could handle anymore revelations. But if he read it, he could know what happened after the ball, what the dance was, what Tom really thought about him after it. No, he was Tom's best friend, that was it. and right now Tom needed his best friend. He snatched the book away before Janna could could do anything and closed it, "No....that's too far, we're done.....we got what we wanted...." Janna looked skeptical but stopped protesting, "Alright diaz...if you're sure..." She started packing stuff into her bag, but then she stopped. "You need to talk to him...about his dad? You don't have to tell him you snooped or talked to his ex but....he needs your support and he needs to talk to someone about this...". The boy stared at his shoes, Janna wasn't the best person around, but he couldn't deny she was right. "Ok fine....when he gets back, we-I'll talk to him...." "Alright, good job Marco...", she put on her backpack and took another look at the human holding Tom's personal journal. "You'll read that chapter when you're ready anyway, but looks like my work here is done.....". She made her way to Tom's balcony and started to climb out, "Call Me when you read it, I got a bet going on with Ferguson and he's gonna owe me 20 bucks....". Marco stomped after her, red-faced, and he wasn't sure if it was from anger or something else, "Well sorry because i'm never gonna read it!!!". She laughed as he shouted at her. Marco groaned and hid the book back where it was, last thing he wanted was for Tom to know he'd been in his stuff, especially not in his personal journal. He felt dirty enough already. He was about to go back into his room and let all these thoughts wash over when a portal opened up in the room and a pink-haired boy walked through. it was seconds later that Marco wrapped his arms around him and he stumbled in surprise of the sudden hug. "Marco?! I-I haven't been gone that long have I?", He joked shakily. "I missed you....I-I'm glad you're back....", Marco was mumbling in his fancy shoulder, "How'd it go?" "I-I....", Tom shuddered a bit, "I think I did great....he wants me to stay here still...." Tom thought back to the torture spell, the threats against Marco, he couldn't say this to Marco, there was no way. Marco would hate him if he knew, and Tom didn't know what he'd do if Marco hated him. Not to mention what his dad would do if he said anything about this. "I knew you could do it..", Marco separated from him and grabbed both his hands, "Great job Tom..." "Thanks Marco....", Tom replied, unaware that Marco was just as relieved to see him again as he was. Marco remembered they were still holding hands and removed his from Tom's, "Hey Tom? I wanna talk to you about something...." There was no way he couldn't say something after tonight. Tom stiffened, "is it about earlier when i talked about why i actually came to earth?" "Actually, I-I wanted to talk about your dad...if that's ok with you?", Marco watched his friend carefully, just in case he said anything that could trigger him. "Oh..I-I uh...", Tom looked very surprised at this topic, Marco'd never said much about his dad before, he shifted in place, "I-I Guess?" Marco sighed, here goes nothing,  "Tom...I know...things aren't great...with your dad, I-I know....." Tom looked very anxious, he didn't particularly want to think about his dad right now, but he also didn't want Marco to stop talking either. Marco's thoughts were important to him and if he had anything to say about his dad, he wanted to know what they were. No matter how much they could hurt. "Marco...I.." Tom felt Marco put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "But....Don't be ashamed....never be ashamed of it...don't be ashamed you aren't like him and don't fear that you might be like him....you're so much better then him..." "Marco..." Marco looked Tom in the eyes, "Tom, you're wonderful....just the way you are, don't ever feel like you're worthless...or a mistake....or a waste of space or.." "Marco!" "I..I...", Marco realized he was crying, "Tom....I Just....you're great just the way you are..no matter what your dad thinks....I'm sorry i'm crying I-I just...I hate seeing you so miserable because of him and I-" Tom pressed his forehead against Marco, and Marco heard him sniffle, tears flowing down his face as well. "Marco...I just...in my world things are different, and I just.....man this is really sappy....", He stifled out a laugh, "Thanks....for liking the real me...." "Don't let your dad put you down, I never want you to think you're worthless because of him...", Marco mumbled quietly, ignoring how close their faces were, "Y-You don't deserve that...." Tom let out a meek smile, "Well, when i become king, I get to rule things in my own way right?" "Yeah...", Marco matched his smile through tears, "And you'll be a great king, no matter what....." Tom bit his lip, "Thanks....I needed to hear this tonight...." The human hugged him again, enjoying his warmth. "How did you know? About my dad?", Tom asked suddenly, still holding onto Marco,  "It's just....kinda odd, you know...that he's yeah..." Marco shifted, "Ever since i met him...I knew something was up and your dreams and....I just knew...". It wasn't a lie, he did suspect most of it from observation. Tom bit his lip, he didn't seem to be entirely sure if Marco was telling the truth, but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted to move on and do anything else right now. "Can w-we go do something else....? I just...I want to ..." "Yeah....", Marco said, relieved,  "Let's go do something else..." - Tom passed out next to Marco on his bed, it'd been a long day and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Marco, however, was wide awake. He watched the boy next to him snore and drool all over his bed sheets, he had so many thoughts and things on his mind it was hard to sleep. Tom's make-up was off, and his hair was messy and scattered everywhere, covering his eyes a bit and flying off his face. He looked adorable, and Marco couldn't help but think so before he shook it off. There was nothing weird about finding Tom pleasing to look at, nothing at all. Janna's teasing was getting to him again. After awhile he embarrassingly turned to lay on his back and look at the ceiling, wanting to focus on something else. Then Tom's snoring stopped. "Can't sleep?" Marco eyed to his side to see a sleepy-eyed alien boy smiling at him, "It's ok Marco, I have those nights too..." "Did you have another nightmare?", Marco turned back onto his side. "No, I just....woke up I guess..", Tom rubbed his eyes, "Tired still...." "You don't have to sleep here, you can move back into your room an-", Tom cut him off. "No, tonight....I don't wanna be alone...." "Ok..." "Marco....I-I'm sorry I never said anything about my dad, that you found out on your own, I just..", Tom mumbled suddenly, guilt embedded in his voice "Tom, it's ok....I understand....", Marco reached out a hand to calm him down. "Y-You do?" "Yeah, and it's nothing to be ashamed about..." "Really?....", He asked, unsure. "Yeah, You don't have to talk about it, not if you don't want to....but...just let me know if there's anything I can do...", Marco looked Tom in the eyes, being entirely serious. Tom shifted on the mattress and nodded. "Ok.....thanks Marco.." Tom closed his eyes again, hoping for dreams that took him far away from his father as possible. Marco helped put covers over his friend, making sure he would try and sleep well tonight before doing the same for himself. Tom smiled. Marco smiled back. He promised to take care of Tom, and he was going to keep that promise no matter what. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, a new day to start fresh and a new day to change things for his friend. Things could only get better in time.

[stellar-stag]

Wow it’s been a while since I did a personal update here huh

I’ve honestly transitioned a lot of my venting/personal stuff to twitter

(I promise I havent abandoned you for my furry friends)

(I kinda have)

(I totally have)

(sorry)

But I feel like the last couple months have been a whirlwind for me, so I may as well keep y’all in the loop. I’m gonna sort these by topic.

First off, I had some issues with my romantic feelings. There’s a guy, a very very good friend, who is just fantastic in so many ways. Friendly and kind and supportive, progressive and enthusiastic, and shares so many of my interests. Seems natural that I would fall for him, right?

Well I did, and it resulted in a lot of emotional duress.

He has a girlfriend, and I knew this going in, but I didn’t fight my attachment. In the process of admitting my feelings to him and working through everything, I learned a lot about myself and got some practice in controlling my emotional state and how I react to things. But I also relied on him as an emotional crutch and used him for validation, especially during some particularly low emotional points, which is unfair to him. It is only because he is immensely understanding that we remain close friends, and this could have easily resulted in disaster.

But through this process I have grown, and identified a new issue blocking me from being of completely sound mind: Low self-esteem and reliance on others for validation. During my more anxious periods, I would slip into joking self-deprecation, and somewhere along the way it stopped being so joking. But surely, now that I’m taking meds for anxiety it would stop, right? Well, no. Turns out, even if I stopped consciously having thoughts of “Wow, I’m so bad at this”, I didn’t automatically gain appreciation or acceptance of myself. This manifests in a particularly dangerous manner when guys who are attractive are nice to me. 

I end up conflating kindness with romantic intent, and decide that obviously, if someone doesn’t have romantic interest in me, I must be irreparably flawed in some way. This is bullshit, and I consciously understand that, but my subconscious doesn’t play by the rules. So I end up in a self-loathing spiral that only manifests in periods of intense romantic desire, and a month later I’m exhausted, bruised, and have run the risk of alienating those around me who care about me.

So how to fix it? I suppose I’ll need to work on drawing validation from within, so that rejection feels less of a condemnation of my character and everything I am. It won’t be simple, to be sure, but understanding the issue is the key to overcoming it. 

Here’s hoping.

Secondly: I started working out! As of today, March 24th, I have been to the gym 12 times this month (half the days, holy shit) and thats because I, last week, decided to go from 3 workouts a week to 5, solely because I wanted to. If you told me a year ago that I would, of sound mind and body and my own volition, wake up every weekday at 5:45am to go workout for an hour, and enjoy the experience, I would have called you a liar. 

But I am, and I do. I think it’s benefitting my mental health and self confidence, and I’m thankful that I’m in a place where its even an option. This is only possible due to a coalition of so many factors: A free gym in my office and a natural predilection to waking up early to remove barriers, I started taking Vyvanse in January to aid in my attention issues (not sure if I have ADD/ADHD or what, but it’s helping me remained focused in all aspects of my life and for that I am grateful). And, of course, two people who aided in the impetus for beginning and making it a habit: My dad, for giving me crippling self-worth issues my entire life and then visiting in February and criticizing my health and weight (because I was sweating after walking up a hill, which more and more I realize is not actually an indicator of my exertion! I am just a person who sweats easily, and its more a function of temperature and endocrine system than anything else) and giving me the sheer spite to begin working out, and the guy I was crushing on (who is intensely into working out, and I wanted to impress him. Yeah, I was hella thirsty. Sue me). 

Regardless of the reasoning, I found that (once I cut cardio because seriously, fuck cardio), I enjoy working out in the mornings. It’s calming to wake up by exertion and then cool down slowly at my desk before other people even wake up. It’s given rise to a ritual of sorts where I get to my desk, deal with my emails, make breakfast and tea, all before anyone shows up, so that I can really hit the ground running. And more than that, I don’t have a goal in mind. I’m doing this because I know it’s good for me and I want to be healthy, and I enjoy the exertion and following “good” tiredness. If I was trying to lose weight or trim  fat, or stuck only to cardio, I would have given up by now. But its a habit, and I love it, and I’m sleeping better, eating better, and feeling better.

Again, this is only possible because of an alignment of several factors, but I’m thankful for it, and I’m glad I got out of the mindset that “workouts must suck but people do them because they wanna lose weight”. You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want to do, and I wish I had realized that sooner. Im feeling way better about my body, even, because despite the fact that I haven’t lost weight or gotten trimmer from working out, I know I’m eating (pretty) well and working out, and that my body does everything I need it to. I can take pride in the callouses on my hands and the soreness of my body, because they’re proof of dedication, exertion, and effort, and those are way better things to feel good about than shape and size, anyways. If people think I’m unhealthy because I have fat, they can suck it.

Thirdly, I’ve begun looking for a condo to buy! Housing in the bay area is STUPID EXPENSIVE (and yes everyone knows this, and I know this, but it bears repeating). But I can put a down payment on a one bedroom in a good location, and I’m prequalified for a loan, and I just need to keep waiting and pouncing on leads. I think I’ll be happier living by myself with a kitchen to myself, and still going out to social events to prevent becoming a hermit. Plus, with this setup I can maybe bring dudes back and not have to show them the pigsty that is our living room or the shoebox that is my bedroom. I was terrified at the start of this process, but my mom and the realtor have been awesome about taking this step by step and ensuring nothing is confusing or surprising, which is sweet.

Fourthly, possibly because I’ve been taking Vyvanse but also possibly because I’ve finally begun understanding what the hell I’ve been doing, I’ve really hit my groove at work. The project I’m working on is complex but interesting, challenging but well understood, and I don’t feel alone but still get to feel a sense of ownership. It’s not the most fulfilling thing ever (I don’t know that working on payments platforms for a corporation ever will be) but I enjoy work, I don’t loathe going to work, and despite the fact that I was sick as a dog all this week, I came in everyday (after working out) to work full productive days, and I was happy at the end of each of them, more or less. Its not perfect but its head and shoulders above what most people get from their jobs, and I’m immensely fortunate to be in this position.

Fifthly, this is more a continuation of already known things, but I’m making cool friends in the furry fandom. I’ve made good friends, some who I hope I will keep as friends for the rest of my life, and I’ve already made plans to go to Reno in June and Disneyworld in November to hang out and have fun with them. As nerve wracking as being an adult is sometimes, the freedom is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. 

Sixthly, I’ve been taking a creative writing workshop in SF! It finished last weekend and I’m happy to not need to commute each week anymore, but I learned a lot about reading like a writer and choices you can make as a writer to achieve desired effects. The workshop focuses on narrators and how who is telling the story tells it, and the model they use for exercises is SO HELPFUL. We would read an excerpt of something, discuss how the narrator/choices/tense/mood all work together, and then we would write something in a similar format about whatever we wanted. Lemme tell yall, that is so much more helpful to me as a student than just prompts. Having a guide to format is like drawing from references, its helpful and and great for learning and gives you the tools to make your own things later on. I highly recommend it, and I can’t wait to get back to my book. 

Got a lot of art to make first, though. I’ve definitely improved a lot in artistic skill and confidence, and I’m loving finding niche styles that I like and mimicking them. The stained glass pic I posted yesterday is proof of that, I feel. Its drawn from Mucha and various real life stained glass windows and a bit from Kingdom Hearts, but I took these and the tools at my disposal and wove it into something that feels complete. I figured out how to apply a cloudy “glass” texture, glows, stabilization, symmetry tools, pattern design, and more all through the process, and I know theres so much room to iterate and grow, in shading and coloring and proportion. But even knowing I have room to grow, I’m proud of what I put out and I put a lot of my heart into that piece (yes, its a birthday gift for workout boy. Shut up). I think I’m going to accept commissions for pictures in this style, even. It’s great fun.

So yeah, the last couple of months have been intense. I’ve had ups and downs, but I’ve learned and grown a lot, and I think I’m in a really good place in my life right now, and I hope that every one of you achieves a similar level of peace.

[babaleshy]

Gonna bitch about how creepy my dad is here, too.

My dad is a tight-wing Trump supporter who likes to play the victim-card. I even fell for it because he fell for the propaganda used against Serbs to make them think that the world hates Serbs because they simply exist. (That’s another rant for another time.) So my dad believes he’s always in the right. He will spend more time making excuses than uttering a single “I’m sorry” if he’s confronted with an obvious wrong he’s committed.

That being said, he literally sees nothing wrong with some of the stuff he’s said to me that I immediately thought of when I’ve heard what Trump has said about his daughter.

As passionate offspring do, I used to go on about how I’d love to cosplay as certain superheroes and such when I was just starting college. My dad would tell me (and even try to convince me) that I should see a professional photographer about taking a pic of me posing as different characters to make into calendars and sell them at conventions because he says I’m good looking enough to pull it off. And no matter how many times I kept telling him no, I don’t wanna do that, he would not drop it and kept trying to convince me ultimately asking, “Don’t you want to make some money?”

Another one is how he thinks I’d look good in certain clothing styles, and he keeps pressing this fucking sash bullshit on me because “you could be a trend-setter!” And he wouldn’t shut up about how good I’d look in certain clothing styles.

One time he told me and a childhood “friend” back when we were in 5th grade that we could totally pull off dressing up as Sailor Scouts because we “definitely had the legs for the look.”

There was a high school photo I took for picture day (I can’t remember what grade) and he says, “Do you know what your bottom lip says?  Sexy.” When I complained not to say that, he went, “Why? It does!” Like, he didn’t get how I was uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him to stop, but he interrupts my plea saying, “No, no! Listen!” He demanded that I listen to him further make me uncomfortable.

So... that was the second most creepiest thing he’s ever done. Know what the first one is? Here it comes:

I’m attending the community college in Pittsburgh and I”m waiting in line with my then-boyfriend (now husband) and my dad since my dad was there to pay for my semester with a credit card. We were in line... in front of a lot of other students... And I felt comfortable to wear a push-up bra and my low-cut Rob Zombie shirt. I’m so close to the ideal cleavage I want and I was just feeling awesome that day. And do you know what my dad says? 

him: Oh my... Annie!

me:  ...what?

him:  You have cleavage!

And he’s trying to be slick by pronouncing it as “clay-vajh”... but everybody is fucking staring at me. Again, I show discomfort, vocalize it, though not as assertive as I probably should have, but he tries to pass it off as, “I’ve just realized you’ve grown into a young woman!”

Like.. really? You just realized that? I’m beyond the age of 21 at this point. And he just now vocalizes such an “epiphany” by talking about my boobs? In front of so many other people?

My husband didn’t say anything because he was afraid of pissing my dad off at the time (especially since we were... I think just engaged at the time?), but my husband and I are so sick of my parents’ shit, especially my dad’s, so we’re not quite so sheepish anymore.

But yeah, my dad was creepy. I need to talk to my mom about this. I’m not sure she’s aware of this. And I did talk to my counselor about this and he agreed that it is creepy. But confronting my dad about this won’t do anything except piss him off and make him play the victim-card, maybe he’ll spout some free-speech rights bullshit as an excuse or something. I don’t know.

Now.... I told you all of these times my dad was creepy in the name of him seeing that he has an attractive daughter... At the same time, throughout my life, on more than one occasion, my dad has also pointed out a lot of fucking things that made me feel so fucking insecure that it just confused me and made my mental health growing up worse. I’ll make you a list and follow it up with a story of one particularly cruel incident.

I was in kindergarten and had my lower lip tucked under my teeth in a picture for picture-day, and my dad asked me, “Are you a clown?” When I said no, he told me, “Then don’t smile like one.”

Anytime I had a bad hair day, he won’t shut up about how it’s shaped, what it looks like, etc.

When I had my first zit between my eyebrows, my dad told me that if I don’t watch what I eat and drink (he was the one with the purchasing power, he was the one willingly buying me soda all the time) then I’ll end up with more zits and then “all the kids at school will call you pizza face! Hey! Lookit pizza-face! How are ya, pizza-face! You wanna be called pizza-face?”

I couldn’t exactly have a normally closed mouth because of how big my teeth are, and I can’t remember the occasion, I just remember him going, “Come on! I know you can stretch those lips over those big teeth!”

“We’re gonna get you surgery to take care of that over-bite of yours by taking out a bit of tendon on your inner thighs and stuffing them behind your jaw. Then you can do splits!”

Anytime I wore shorts, my pale skin would show, so my dad would, in an overly dramatic way, shield his eyes and go, “I’M BLIND! PUT SOME PANTS ON!” Then wonder why I don’t wear shorts.

If there was the slightest bit of stubble on my pits that he saw, he would be overly dramatic in his verbal accounts of how I need to shave them, with his expression being similar to as if he could smell filthy armpits.

Called me pinecone legs when I didn’t have ultra-smooth legs.

Anytime I had food on my big teeth, he won’t shut up about it and made a big spectacle about it.

Anytime I had ANYTHING in my nose, he’d do the same, too.

Ah, the most cruel thing he’s done regarding my appearance and insecurities. I need to tell you this particular story. It’s just, the cruelest thing he’s done to me psychologically.

So, I’m in 7th grade. Obviously, I’m going through puberty... And a massive zit shows up on my forehead. I go to excuse myself saying I gotta go pop it after being asked where I was going, and my dad said, “No! NEVER pop zits!” I can’t remember if he like, gave an explanation or what. But how he delivered that was just.. Enough to make me go, “Oh, geeze. Maybe I shouldn’t.” I figured it would go away on its own. It didn’t. The fucker got bigger and had three pinhole-sized scabs in it because I wasn’t allowed to drain it when it would burst on its own. It was so nasty it was becoming blue-grey. Amazingly, I wasn’t picked on for it in middle school. But of course, that’s why my dad exists. Because being a teenager wasn’t hell enough.

We go to my baba and jeda’s to visit, especially since my uncle Pete (dad’s brother he’s like, obsessed with or some shit) and his family were visiting. *shrug* Okay, so we go and visit. I figured the rest of my family isn’t going to judge me. They were never like how my dad was. They never made me feel insecure about my appearance.

We’ve been there a while, and we’d all just sat down at the table for dinner, and that’s when my dad points out to everyone, “Just look at the size of that zit on her forehead? Have you ever seen one so big before?” I don’t remember what all he’d said, but he brought shameless attention to it while everyone looked uncomfortable. I don’t remember what family member it was, but they managed to change the subject real fast while my dad maintained that entertained, amused grin. And I had trouble eating because my stomach was in knots.

Ever since then, I wore a ballcap when not in school (because we weren’t allowed to wear hats in school, though I did try to wear bandanas to “hold my hair back” as much as possible to hide the fucking zit). My mom got me to stop by lying and telling me that people who wear hats all the time end up going bald. She thought that was amusing, and when I brought it up to her when she started wearing a ballcap when mowing the lawn, she laughed and told me she was just kidding to see what I’d do.

That zit didn’t fucking go away for WEEKS. All because I wasn’t allowed to pop and/or drain the fucker.

So I’m being told I’m attractive while at the same time I’m told all this other shit becoming a ball of anxiety and depression from the same asshole who has no business being this fucking creepy to me and will spend every second of the conversation on the subject making up excuses while not once uttering a sorry whatsoever. Because his freedom of speech or some bullshit.

What’s worse is if I was underage, and I’ve said some shit before like talking about wanting a tattoo in the future when I’m old enough and he wasn’t having it and saying “but it’s my body,” he told me, “But you’re mine.” Like I’m property. It’s so fucked up.

He’s part of the reason why I wore hoodies, baggy shirts, and baggy pants throughout all of my teenage years; I tried to disappear and hide in large-sized clothing to try and minimize some of the shit he’d tell me. My dad has a habit of saying any and all things on his mind without stopping and thinking about how he’d be making the other person feel. Because he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit.

[justfollowmyhansel]

"I Get a Lot of People, Even During the Press For This Tour Asking 'You Really Got Ahead of This 'Trans' Thing Haven't You?'"— July 4th (Stagedoor)

After I pulled my Junction City shirt over the tiny cosplay to buffer against at least some of the wind outside, I looked at my phone. It was chilly when I left at dusk, but now close to four hours later, it was only a few degrees about freezing. I had wanted to stagedoor every show in Australia and truth be told, the very under sold Canberra show was probably my best bet at having any significant time with him given how few people had shown up and that even fewer appeared to be sticking around.

Instead, I found the man I had been chatting with before the show.

"Did you like the show?"

"I loved it, he was amazing. Can I go backstage?"

"It's not up to me -- I'd say yes, but you'll have to ask the guy at the t-shirt booth..."

----

"Did you end up liking the show?"

"I loved it. He was great. He's always great," I stopped myself from rambling at that moment. Of course it was great!! It was the best moment of my life!! I mentioned that John had laid on top of me. ("Oh that was you?" "Yeah...that was awesome.") "Can I go backstage and meet John?"

"It's not really up to me, it's up to David Hawkins, the producer? He's just over there, you'll have to ask him. David! This girl wants to know if she can go backstage and meet John."

"Were you the one with the dolls?"

Dolls? "No, I'm the cosplayer? The first Hedwig look?"

"Ah yeah. I'll see if he wants to meet you, there's already a group back there."

"Oh, okay."

It didn't take very long to hear back. Of course I could go back and meet him.

I was personally ushered backstage and left with a group of two girls who had yet to see him.

"I'm so excited, I could punch John Cameron Mitchell in the face."

Emmm? Okay, then? Please don't hurt John? The actual sweetheart I've been hearing stories about from all my friends for three and a half years? Just??

Internet speak…. Often jarring when encountered out in the real world.

The two girls that had been standing there before me chatted a little amongst themselves before asking about me. Until they asked my name, I wasn’t sure they had even noticed me they had been so excited. Not that I could blame them.

"Very on-brand, I love it!" the chattier one declared when I told her my name.

"You wanna talk about on-brand...." I showed off  my Junction City biplanes shirt straight from Junction City itself on a previous trip.

We chatted a little bit more and John came out. There was a collective lean forward....

He wasn't quite ready. He was in his socks, wanting to go ask something of one of the other people backstage.

"Sorry guys..."

I made a casual gesture like "pfft, no, take your time...." I mean, he has no obligation to do this, does he? There's nothing about doing a show like Hedwig, even as personal as it is to a lot of people or doing a show like Origin of Love, where it's extremely personal to him, that says that he has to spend any amount of time with fans afterwards.

He does this a couple of times and I'm nervous, what am I going to say to him? How to start? But I'm no longer scared of talking to him, I mean, he was in my lap less than half an hour ago, how could I possibly be scared of him after an introduction like that?

Finally he comes over, eating a protein bar and having a cup of green tea. He introduces himself to everyone "Hi, I'm John.. And you are?"

The first girl, the overly excited one, tells him her name. And then the second. I'm about to speak my name when he goes "I know you~~❤" I went to hug him again, but was told no since he had the tea. "Scalding."

"Oh, okay,” I stepped back to where I had been next to the other two.

The first girl spoke again, thanked him for Hedwig and said that it helped her to come out. John talked with her a little, thanked her for that.

The second girl went and told him that Hedwig didn't save her life or help her come out, but that it had helped her learn to accept bi people. John commented that not everyone even within in the gay community is nice to bisexuals, but he doesn't get it. What right do they have to police bi people's attraction? Why shouldn't they be accepted?

Off to the side, I smiled. How often do you get that kind of validation from your favourite (living) artist spoken in your presence, not once but twice in a night and at a time it's not even meant to be validating to you? Just..talking. Just things he was thinking in the moment or had written into the show before learning I existed.

The second girl's mother then told the story about how she was born and they'd thought she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but she was just an impressive baby.

"What, she came out singing?" John asked.

"No, she was fat."

I snorted. Both at the slight misunderstanding and at the bluntness of the woman's reply.

I had been hoping to be next, to actually talk to him next. Tell him how much Hedwig had meant to me....

But, it was time for him to go, but we could do a picture.

I hung back. I figured I didn’t know these people very well and it would be awkward for them to look back in a year or even a week and have a photo of themselves, the man they had come to see, and some random person who had the fortune to tag along with their moment. Despite my reluctance, John insisted.

I put my arm on his back as everyone crowded in for the group photo and said to him, "Would you believe I've never met these people before in my life?"

"Seriously?"

"I'm serious. We just met a few minutes ago."

"Well now you're going to ask become best friends, exchange numbers afterwards."

We did the pics and as he turned to leave, I touched his arm.

"I just want to say thank you for Hedwig. The movie saved my life. And thank you for Wig in a Box tonight."

"Thank you, darling."

And he gave me the world's biggest hug.

"Exchange numbers."

And the way he said it, it was like "there's no way you're not giving her those photos."

I exchanged information with the second girl's mother and she emailed me all the photos.

The music promoter asked what I'd thought of it, what I'd thought of the show, what I'd thought of John.... Was it everything I had been hoping for? I said yes, that I'd loved it. Thank you got letting me go back stage, but is there any way that I could meet John again privately? I didn't really get to say what I had wanted to say to him. He told me I'd have to ask David, that it wasn't up to him...

He walked me back to the venue as we had already started head out into the night. He helped me find David again so that I could ask about meeting John again privately. I’m not sure what about a less than ten minute meeting had emboldened me to think that I could ask about seeing John privately as opposed to stagedooring like I had initially planned, but it seemed the best way to go. If he was too busy getting himself ready to leave after Canberra, he might be too busy to really stagedoor with people at the other shows.

David said sure! of course! where are you from then? I told him about being from Kansas, that I had seen John in Japan as Hedwig nine months ago and he was so talented.... I said that the girls had dominated the conversation and that while I wanted to tell John so much, I didn't really want to tell a group of teenage girls my entire life story. He said that he understood, that he had thought the girls were a bit much too, and that I could get in touch through the production website and he'd set something up for me. I thanked him again.

On my way back towards the entrance, I asked the front desk guy about the poster for the show that had been sitting behind him all night for who knew how long. He said that I was probably more than welcome to it, but that I would have to come back the next morning as the desk was currently alarmed. (Whereas in the morning after some rest, the desk would have calmed down.)

Once again, Jem walked me out, this time offering to buy me a drink at one of the local bars. I accepted and along the way he asked me questions about myself and the show and I asked him about him, about how he got into music promotion. He told me that he had come over from Canada when he was young and had done quite a few things before getting into music promotion, which he loved. He complimented John’s ease on the Playhouse stage remarking that he had seen many seasoned performers lose their composure on that particular stage since it was so close to the audience compared to even the other stage in the building.

When we got to the bar, he introduced me to his friends and we listened to a punkish band while having the drink. I listened to him catch up with his friends, engaging and asking questions when the opportunity arose and answering the ones put to me while I worked furiously at cataloguing the extraordinary events of the evening into my phone via conversations with Risa and my mom.

Afterwards Jem helped me find a cab. I thanked him for his generosity.

"Of course. We gotta take care of each other, right?"

I'd thought that was a very nice, very John way to end the evening.