#I kind of wanna write my thoughts about

[devis-nonsense-n-shitposting]

Yet again posting about Castlevania Nocturne again because this show has an iron grip on my brain.

I've seen some Castlevania 'Purists' complain about Annette being different than in the games and I am. So so baffled. Nocturnes Anette is so much more interesting and fascinating than the original Annette was ever and could ever be. She's not even really a character in Rondo of Blood for crying out loud! She only exists in the games to be the damsel in distress and prize for Richter to get at the end of the game. She is not a character. But now that she finally gets to be a character people get pissy because "She's not like how she is in the games" when the real reason they're mad is they can't handle seeing a badass woman of color standing up for herself.

And while talking about Annette, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate how we're getting to see more than just the Revolution in France. As someone who has a fascination in the French Revolution, I really liked how they're also bringing up the Revolution in Hati (saint-domingue) as we tend to just focus on what was going on in Europe and France at this time, but important Revolutions were also going on all across Frances holdings that still effect what's going on. And getting to see it from the perspective of Annette, a former slave who liberated herself and helped in the Revolution is really cool, especially getting to see her Yoruba heritage from her parents, and her religion. It's also neat to see Hati Creole being used. While this show does have some flaws, Annette is not one of them, and if you're having trouble accepting that then. Idk what to tell you

Anyway back to obsessing over Alucard (and also Juste Belmont)

[cukrkandl]

are there any classics (whatever your definition of that is, actually) that have strong aro/ace/queerplatonic relationship vibes?

[senselessalchemist]

wrote 30k words and decided I didn't like them or the order i put them in and so started over. alright cool great thank you brain 👍👍

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[moongothic]

Crocoman has been on my mind lately and I had a realisation (what I have to admit is that my memory is shit, so the whole conundrum might be pointless, but) wet + Croco = bad times for our Sandman. So... If he slices up a man and in turn gets splashed by blood, does he just... nullifies his own power? You can smush or suffocate with sand, but Crocodile makes stabby weaponry from it too, stabby weaponry that I am reasonably sure is attached to his arm at times. Does he developed a combo of sucking the moisture off his victim right before it soaks him and makes him a sad soggy man?

He loves living right on the edge. Desk right in front of a huge glass window that is the only thing separating him from tons of water rushing in and ending his career? check (additional flex is that it'd take as little as one very motivated bonk from his bananawani to said window for that end to come). Close ranged, bloody fights that pose the very reasonable danger of getting soaked by blood? check. Our man fears nothing.

I mean from what we've seen, usually Crocodile uses his stabby-slicy attacks from a distance, while in close range it's usually either Sables to blast people off or Barján to dehydrate people, as seen here

Like Barján doesn't cut people, surely Crocodile could've used it to cut people instead if he wanted to, but no, it mummified the guards instead

So considdering our beloved Crocodile is a smart little boy, this all could be intentional, because yeah, if he did get splooshed with blood he would lose his Logia Invunerability at least until the blood would dry, and that would just be inconvenient

And that would make for a good combat tactic in general- mummify those in range, if you can't mummify them then nuke them with Sables, and if Sables only blasts them out of your range, well now you can use Desert Spada to slice 'em without getting moisturized. Like if this was a video game that'd make for a good gameplay loop

Also while it's only stated in canon he can absorb moisture with his hand, I wouldn't be surprised if Crocodile could also passively absorb moisture from his whole body (if just less efficiently). Like during Round 2 with Luffy he did get completely soaked but was able to turn back to sand soon again, so unless the Alabastan Heat was on Croc's side, surely he couldn't have dried that fast. Same for when he was covered partially in his own blood in Marineford, surely when Doflamingo decapitated him he would've actually died if his face was still wet with blood (though Oda forgot to draw the blood on that page so take that with a grain of salt lmao)

Really the only thing that doesn't seem to quite fit into his combat loop nicely is the Big Ol' Stabby Hook as you mentioned, because if anything's gonna make people bleed all over him, it's that, that's the thing (though he could just use the actual base of the hook to pummel people with and the hook is there because. It's a prosthetic.) (You know I did always wonder why Croc wanted to use the hook instead of the hidden blade because surely the blade would be more convenient for inflicting pain but, actually, yeah, the hook makes sense)

This all said, while it would be inconvenient for him I would like to see Crocodile get covered in blood more often, it looks good on him ❤️

[meownotgood]

spacing out during finals, and imagined a scenario where childhood s/o and aki are in elementary school- a kid trips little s/o in the mud and little aki gets them back by sticking gum in their hair (╥﹏╥) cause bro really be doing that fr 💀

anon... don't get me started... my heart has been yearning so much for childhood friends with aki these days.......

and he would totally do that too, young aki would pick a fight with anyone who bullies you or makes you cry. when he gets a little older, he's actually quite intimidating to the rest of the students, so just sticking with him is enough to ensure no-one tries to mess with you. he'll always make an effort to include you even when everyone else isn't; you're practically stuck together like glue, and even though any rumors about the two of you barely ever reach your ears, you're sure they've noticed how you and aki are rarely seen apart from one another.

[leclerrari]

me when charles starts the season winning and serving and slaying spectacularly proving what he’s capable of during every single free practice qualifying and race session only for ferrari to gradually make his championship hopes vanish into thin air by constantly ruining his races with either poor strategy calls or poor car performance with the cherry on top being ferrari’s team principal not admitting those mistakes and claiming he loves and trusts charles but never truly showing it

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

I've somewhat made a horror movie blog (not on tumblr) so now I need to figure out what to post there. There's several topics I'd be interested in exploring, but idk how to make them sound interesting or good

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Whumpy headcanons, you say?

Did you know if you do a lot of sword training, your hands can get stuck in the postition? Like, your hands will cramp up and stay in that position. Same can happen with using any tool.

So, Technoblade, spending hours in Pogtopia with a hoe, farming potatoes for everyone. And everyone enjoying the fruits of his labor. But when he finally chooses to let himself stop and eat something himself, he can't get his hands to work so he just stared at it. Willing his hands to unstiffen so he can just eat something.

Or fumbling for water because he can't open the flask.

And not trusting anyone to ask for help.

AAAAAAA, oh that's a good one. Especially in Pogtopia because he definitely wouldn't trust anybody there enough to show them/ask for help so he just hides his hands under his cloak and hopes nobody notices that he doesn't eat or drink or does anything that requires fine motor skills for a while (and honestly, they probably don't. When has anybody ever bothered to check up on Techno during that time).

Maybe later on after the Syndicate and such, it still sometimes happens when he overworks himself but now Techno has people who he trusts and who care for him. He's probably still a bit self-conscious about it but they notice when he tries to hide his hands and call him out on it. They don't mind helping him with those basic tasks until the muscles relax enough for him to use his hands again.

[cerise-on-top]

haha get booped (otherwise, just wanted to say that I really enjoy your writing style!! Hope you're well <3)

Hey there! Thank you for the boop! I'm gonna be booping you right back! And thank you! That's very kind of you! I'm glad people can enjoy it! Though, I have to admit, I used to have a better writing style back in the day when I wrote full fledged fics! But I'll get there again eventually! But it is what it is! Still, thank you so much! I hope you're doing well as well! I'm doing fine, I've just been really stressed as of late!

[orcelito]

OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?

[thasorns]

I wasn’t surprised that Lue turned out to be Din but people got kinda confused about why Peter/Din cried after Ken said ‘Din is my only love’. In my theory and imagination it’s because the old Din is kinda there and kinda not. He went through so much, he was given a new face and identity. He needed to leave his family and love behind. He also couldn’t contacted them because if he did, they maybe could’ve gotten in trouble because as far as we know only Din knew that the Chief is the villain. Only a few people knew he was alive hence the Doctor and if I am not mistaken the sister... He came up with a plan to get his revenge and on his own (again it’s only what I think because he was alone when the attacks happened) I don’t even wanna imagine how lonely he must’ve felt during all this... So, now he is back in Thailand to get his revenge and look ‘his’ boyfriend is also back. He tried to get close to him as ‘Peter Lue’ while Ken was all about Din. Yeah, at this point we know Peter is Din but at the same time not (are you all still with me on this? Can you follow?) like I don’t want to interpret too much but like we cannot deny the fact that Din changed inside and out (at least that’s what I think). So Peter/Din is trying to approach Ken in many ways so he can forget the old Din because he is not coming back but at the same time Ken can’t and won’t forget his only love to the point where he believed he was still alive. His delusions became a reality for Ken which kinda hurt Peter/Din because yes, I believe he wanted to tell Ken the truth about everything because nothing hurts more than when your hands are bound and you can’t do anything to help your love to ease his pain. He could only watch even with his many attempts to get close to him. I believe he truly wants to help him to move on to find some kind of happiness in his life, to begin a new life maybe with Peter/Din while Ken can’t and won’t give up. Peter/Din sees how miserable Ken is because of him but like I said he can’t do anything about it... How many times did Ken push him away? I can’t even count anymore.... Din is Peter’s past while Peter is his present and future, for Ken - Din is his past, present and future (can you all still follow because I can’t even catch my thoughts). So in conclusion: Ken would’ve never gotten Din as Peter a chance, which of course hurts Peter/Din because he can’t replace ‘Din’.

[pangyham]

ough part of me wants to change my username. the goal of this blog is to not accumulate a following but to be a place where i can talk about whatever without a huge public audience (or whenever i feel too cockshamed to post on instagram stories). i dont think people will go out of their way to find my account especially since it's been a year since i deleted all socials and i'm completely irrelevant and forgtten but STILL.. sigh i'm worrying over nothing

[erythristicbones]

i don't feel like copying what i wrote, so take some screenshots of me having brainworms for the JDK villains again. primarily spurred by me going "hey wouldn't Nisha and Artemis and Apollo make cool rockstars instead"

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

today makes four years since I got the three houses game as a gift so I'm gonna write down some thoughts I recently had about my selfship with Claude and the sun/moon dynamic? symbolism? that XD

I wouldn't be able to tell who is who. Even if some hints could make it seem obvious (ekhm, my s/i's name being Helios, for example), it didn't feel like a complete description of their own views and what's going on between them, so I gave it more thought and came to the conclusion that they are each other's sun and they see themselves as the other's moon. that's what Claude and I would have going on

Because how wouldn't I see Claude as the Sun with the way he lights up any room just by being there? with how bright his smile is? with how he seems to be able to slowly change things for the better with such warmth, making days easier to go through? yet I am very aware that sun eclipses exist, but I would do anything to go through those days by his side, too. in that way, the name of Helios is full of devotion and loyalty, for not only the personal feelings but also the admiration, the gratefulness, the acknowledgement, the will to do anything to keep him safe. Helios is a sign that he guards the Sun, almost as if they had been named for it, putting him before them just like a small satellite always orbiting around the same other.

Yet for Claude, born under the Moon symbol of the Riegan Crest, he feels like he's always dealing with both the bright and dark sides of the Moon. He might be the house leader of the Golden Deer, sure, but that "golden" in its name and a yellow cape won't make him escape from his Moon nature. He's got shadows he needs to control and not let others find out; he's got to get clues and know what's going on there where no one else dares to walk down; he's got too many expectations on his shoulders to consider he can naturally shine bright, so he tries his best at putting strategies over the table and not let any lives fall behind. Oh, but Helios. They who encourage freedom, who are so open with actions and questions, who always got his back in the batteflied to the point of feeling like someone's missing if they are not there, whose eyes look so fondly at all the Golden Deer that they might be two whole suns in one human body. Their silences, full of understanding somehow. Their invitations to reading evenings in their bedroom, never judging, never pressured; just their comforting smile and their embrace's warmth, truly worthy of being compared to the Sun.

[hollow-prey]

LOVE LETTERS!!!!!!!!!! WITH JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I COMBUST AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT