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#I kinda wanted to make a repeating pattern but I got tired.
kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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gooselycharm · 11 months
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hi there! i'd just like to say that your kris and noelle "something else" comic has been driving me insane /pos and i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on those two!! their relationship is one of my favorite things in deltarune and your comic just got everything about them so right 🙏
thank you for reading "something else"! oh man, [more of] my thoughts on kris+noelle.... i sure got some of those.
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this was one of the first tweets i made after finishing chapter 2 nearly... freaking 2 years ago. and basically i've just been saying that over and over again in different ways because i'm still not tired of the concept yet and probably wont ever be LOL. i'm obsessed with how badly the narrative wants to force them into an easily categorizable dynamic, especially the romantic one in snowgrave. the literal THORN RING, the more possessive dialogue options, spamton calling noelle a side chick LOL... it all creates this unnerving visual novel bad end atmosphere that feels manufactured by someone who's only ever learned about romance through secondhand sources. they're two queer teens trying to navigate their changing relationship with the only role models they know being their parents' own failed heterosexual marriages. they're so divorced² (divorced children of divorce).
i also like that for being so tragically doomed coded they can be funny! both in a dark humor way and also like, genuinely funny, like the stories of them as kids with kris covering themselves in ketchup and hiding under noelle's bed lmao. i mean there's even something funny about the romantic trappings of the snowgrave route, like trying to put wedding cake embellishments on a crime scene... you know, funny like kids trying on their parents clothes but they're too big and for some reason they're also crying and covered in blood? um.
i'm also SOOOO interested to see how snowgrave will continue in chapter 3! i really liked the hopeful note chapter 2 ended on (well. i took it as hopeful anyway). there's that bit where noelle is talking to herself and she says something like "recently kris has been acting so strange and no one else has noticed... i have to figure out why" and then kris jumpscares her LOL but i think i took that one line and really ran with it. noelle really is the one who knows kris best and despite how scared she is, she's still determined to help them... i like the little subversion of victim/hero going on, the implication that kris might be the one who needs rescuing.
the additional story/lore that came with the spamton sweepstakes made me CRAAAZYYYYY like my GOD... it's cute that noelle likes glitches/creepypasta when kris is kinda a walking creepypasta <3 also, god, noelle falling asleep listening to kris playing piano in the other room... there's so much like. wistfulness and nostalgia and this like... distant/detached intimacy packed into how noelle narrates that scene. it's kind of funny how much there is to dig into when like on a surface level they're just fairly regular childhood friends who grew apart LMAO they're extremely deep to me okay...
on another note i guess i do ship them? i like their dynamic whether it's platonic or romantic (the best is a weird mix of both 👍). it just can't be boring LOL like... this is one ship where trying to apply cookie cutter tropes to them really falls flat and the game is ahead of you on that anyway. in terms of romantically shipping them, i honestly don't think they're doomed to repeat patterns forever... i think they could actually be good for each other! but that's not really the aspect of their relationship that interests me akldjf;alk;sdg maybe i will make 60 page comic of kriselle going to couples counseling some other time
ANYWAY i'm going to cut myself off here, because i really could go on forever lol. i'll give you some links for further reading though
hellspawnmotel's deltarune art
lula pillowbug99's deltarune art
this art by raspbearis which features prominently in my internal kriselle bible
my own unfinished kriselle playlist
my own essay on gender & allegory in deltarune if for some reason u are not tired of hearing me talk yet
okay bye now & thanks again for reading my comic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ang3lv3rm1n · 2 months
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I know it probably isn't an odd thing per se, but something that I just connected the dots on was the correlation between me getting to fly on a plane and me realizing I'm a therian or other-kin or alter-human. But I didn't really know what the feeling was then. It was this...almost overwhelming feeling of peace and serenity and belonging. Like I was meant to be in the sky, soaring through the clouds. It was such a strong feeling that I wrote a note down on a phone I don't have anymore about how I never wanted to land. I'll continue with more details below the cut, I don't want to take up anyone's dash.
When this happened, was December 2020, I had been experiencing an awful lot of mental health crises and I was flying alone as my first time ever on a plane. I was 15 years old, I had teal hair and stupid looking chunky black glasses. I was tired because I had woken up so early, normally airports are kinda scary but at the time, the closest airport to me was incredibly small. The airport in Cody Wyoming. There weren't very many other people getting on the tiny plane with me, I do remember two of the people being a grandmother and her gran-daughter who was maybe 11? They were both sleepy as well. I think I only remember them because the grandma complimented my mask. It was a grayish periwinkle sort of color and had white silhouettes of bears as the pattern. My mom had gotten it for me earlier in the year from the local pharmacy where one of the employees liked to sew in her spare time and had been making masks with different patterns on them. I felt lonely, being the only one of my family going on the flight because my mom and dad had to work and my Nana was paying for my ticket so I could come see her back in Mississippi for the holiday.
Once the plane arrived, and I had boarded, the sun still hadn't come up yet, and I thought I would just sleep on the plane ride because I anticipated being anxious the entire time. It was the kind of flight where you get on in one place, land in another, and get on another plane, and repeat until you get to your destination. I forget what it's called, but anyways, I got the row all to myself because there were so few people even on the small plane. And after the pre-flight introduction to plane safety and all of that, I was still worried about how I would feel once the plane was off the ground. That was until we actually were flying, and then suddenly the feeling I described earlier hit me. If I remember correctly, I cried a little bit because of how overwhelmingly at peace and how happy I felt. It was something I don't think I had ever felt before, and If I had, I hadn't felt it in a very long time.
I miss it alot. Even running through the airports and sitting around waiting, It was strangely comforting to me. I wish I had the money to fly everywhere, If I had the chance I would just to be in the sky again. To get to see the sunrise perched in the clouds where I'm meant to be.
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hello, me again, & I’m sorry if I missed any of your guidelines for requests—but I see that yours are open & I really like your writing! 👀👀 may I request anything fluffy/angsty with Vi/reader? (Or if you’re not writing for her anymore, literally anyone 😂) maybe reader feeling insecure & Vi reassuring them? (But if not that’s okay sjdjdkd)
First off, lemme just say asdfghjkll I meant to have this done months ago, very sorry about the wait! I got most of it done before the holidays hit and I kinda just flailed around for a bit. Also, technically I said I wouldn't be taking Arcane requests yet (because I had a bunch of ideas for Arcane fics I wanted to finish first), but I'm allowed to break my own rules, so~
To Exist Is Enough
Genre: Fluff, comfort Rating: T, maybe? There's a few mildly suggestive lines, but only in the sense that it implies/references past activities Summary: You're feeling a bit insecure today, and Vi does her best to help. Even if she can't make you love yourself right away, she can try to ease your pain. // Alternatively: Somewhat inspired by some posts I've seen talking about unlearning self hatred by starting with self tolerance- you do not have to love your body to tolerate it, to understand that it is useful, that it is a container for your mind. I am not wording this well, oop Notes: Gender neutral reader (for my fellow enbies), referenced + established issues with body image and anxiety, I'm not 100% confident on some of the dialogue, Vi calls the reader "sweets" as a pet name, Caitlyn is mentioned once but only in a friendship context
She knows- always, without fail, more often a blessing than a curse. Whenever your heart trembles, whenever doubts creep up like vines weaving themselves through the cracks of your mind, she knows. It is a sixth sense. A work of magic, almost, the way she knows your patterns as thoroughly as she knows her own. Today proves to be no different than any other, at least in this regard.
“Hey,” Vi says, her smile evident by the way it curves her tone, even within this single syllable. From where you lay, in the dark, you cannot see anything but her silhouette. She’s resting against the doorframe, peering into the bedroom with what you can only assume is gentle concern. “Mind if I turn the light on?” Murmuring your assent, you untuck yourself from your blankets, raising a tired hand to wipe the sleep from your eyes. Soon enough there’s a familiar weight next to you, and through your squinting you can make out Vi’s warm smile. As always, your heart flutters at the sight.
“G’morning,” you mumble, before shifting to rest your head on your girlfriend’s shoulder. It wouldn’t be hard to fall back asleep. There’s a comfort that comes with Vi’s presence, a sense of safety and warmth; a scent too, come to think of it. It grows stronger as you lean into her, face pressed against her neck, breathing in a heavenly mix of undercity spices and Piltovan floral soap (a moving-in gift from Caitlyn). Something about the combination suits her, and you’ve grown to love the sharp contrast. Nowhere felt as much like home as her embrace, and you are quick to lose yourself in the feeling.
“No morning kiss, sweets?” Vi eventually teases. A blush overtakes your cheeks as you sheepishly pull back just far enough to give her what she wanted. Although the kiss is brief, it is more than enough to make your heart skip a beat; and when you catch sight of Vi’s loving gaze in the aftermath? Oh, the entirety of the world was a million miles away, in that moment, nothing existed but the two of you. “Mmm,” she whispers, only daring to break the silence so that she may showcase her affection, “there’s the pretty face I missed so much. You’ve been hiding it from me all morning.”
It’s not her fault that the words make you wince, of course, but she falters all the same. Anxiety had been gnawing at your heart all morning, painfully repeating an age old worry. Your thoughts had followed this path so often, for so long, that they might as well have worn-down the very flesh of your mind, carving in deeper and deeper grooves. Escaping this cycle was something Vi endeavored to help you accomplish. Somedays you even believed her when she complimented your appearance- sometimes it just felt like she was going through the motions, consoling you because that was simply her nature.
“Hey, sweets, please look at me,” Vi says, the words knocking you out of your own head. Honestly, you hadn’t even realized that your eyes were closed. Taking a deep breath, you look back up at her, forcing yourself to give a weak smile. “There we go, that’s better. Can you unclench your jaw for me?” Her fingers gently trace along the edge of your face, and she can feel the exact moment you do as she asks, her eyes gaining a self-satisfied twinkle. Then she speaks again, the words slow, not quite hesitant, more so cautious. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You almost scoff in response. Do you want to talk about it? It. It. The elephant in the room. The big, bad, thing Better Left Unnamed. Vi was just being gentle (and you know this), but you’ve still got anger in your chest. Just not at her, not really, and you take another deep breath before allowing yourself to respond.
“What, are you going to spend another hour trying to convince me that I’m beautiful?... I’m not sure that’s what I need right now,” you answer, at last, doing your best to keep your tone as light as possible. Maybe even with a twinge of mirth. Admittedly your success is mixed, but Vi doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seems more sympathetic, and she starts rubbing gentle circles into your back as she holds you.
“I have an idea for something different,” she starts to say, leaning in close until her breath tickles your ear, “if you’re up for it.” A moment passes, then two, as a blush creeps up your face, your mind reeling with predictions for what was to come. Except Vi isn’t wearing her trademark smirk, nor are her fingers already seeking out certain sensitive spots. Whatever she has in mind… you get the feeling that it’s more than just a fun distraction.
So you nod; after all, what do you have to lose?
“Alright, sweets, lay back for me, okay? Get nice and comfortable,” Vi instructs, in a voice she normally reserves for certain activities. A mix of curiosity and excitement builds up in your chest, and you’re more than eager to do what she says. Once you start getting settled, your girlfriend explains what exactly she had in mind. “I want you to love every inch of your body the same way I do, and I know how hard it can be to get out of your own head when it comes to shit like this. You can’t force love, not even for yourself, right?
“That’s why we are going to start smaller. You are so much more than just beautiful, sweets, and I want you to be able to hold back your hate, at least a little bit. Tolerance is still better than hatred,” she says, slowly trailing her fingers along your side as she does. Then her hands wander back up, stopping to rest on your biceps. “Mmm, these? These are the arms that hold me close, night after night,” her hands slide down to your own, “and these are the hands that have touched me, caressed me. Pressed against all the right spots, soothed my aches and wrapped my wounds, working next to mine all the time.
“Now,” she continues, grinning, taking on a hint of mischief as her hands move ever downwards, “these are the legs that carried you to me, through everything that life threw at us. These are the thighs that give me a place to rest… and wrap around my-”
“Vi!” You interject, blushing heavily, knowing exactly what she was getting at. Both of you are smiling, and your objection devolves into quiet laughter. Something in your chest feels lighter than it did just a few minutes ago. “Maybe save that part for tonight, alright?” Still smiling as bright as ever, she gives a quiet hum of agreement, nodding before moving upwards. It may simply be your imagination, but you’re fairly certain that there’s a light dusting of pink on her cheeks as she speaks.
“Where were we… ah, right,” Vi chirps, tucking a finger under your chin and letting her gaze linger on your lips. Then her eyes meet yours, her thumb pressing against the corner of your mouth. For a moment you are rendered breathless. The way she was looking at you, the love and tender appreciation, the loveliest brand of desire. “These are the lips that give me good morning kisses, the mouth that tells me how you love me, that whispers all the comfort in the world when I need it.” Pausing, she places a tiny kiss on the tip of your nose before giving you a cheesy grin. “That nose? Perfect. Adorable.”
By now her energy is downright infectious. A smile dances on your lips, and you almost want to interrupt her with a kiss, but something tells you to wait a little longer.
“I could stare at those gorgeous eyes all day, sweets, but I think you already knew that,” Vi teases, taking a moment to brush her thumb across the top of your cheek, right under your eye. A lovely glint flashes in her eyes, and you just know that she’s as tempted to kiss you as you are to kiss her. But she resists, trailing her fingers down to your stomach. Instinctively you take a sharp breath at the touch. She knows your heart, however, and makes this even more gentle than before. When she speaks, it is with the whisper of devotion. A prayer dedicated to only you. “This is the stomach I wrap my arms around, the place I tie myself to at night, where I hold myself to you.”
Slowly, she shifts back upwards a small degree, finalizing her ritual with something a tad less intense.
“And this is the chest I get to lay my head on, listening to the way your heart races when we’re together. The reminder that we’re alive, and you aren’t leaving any time soon.” As she speaks, one hand rests directly over your heart, the other seeks out your own and holds tight. Pain dares to rear its ugly head for a brief, unholy second, flickering in her eyes. You know she is remembering those she has lost- and you know that she is silently promising not to lose you. The fear vanishes as quickly as it came. In its place, you find nothing but love.
“Thank you, Vi,” you say, after what feels like a couple minutes of easy quiet. Before your girlfriend can shrug off your praise, you continue, giving her hand a squeeze as you do. “I mean it, seriously. Sometimes I get stuck inside my own head… but you always seem to know how to get me back home. I’ll always love you for that. For everything you do, and everything you are.” In response, Vi gets even closer, peppering your face with kisses, then resting her face against your neck, hiding her blush from you.
“I love you too, sweets,” she mumbles, her breath tickling your throat. Her arms are right where they belong, curled around you, just as she had described. Maybe she hadn’t magically cured your ills, but she had certainly convinced you of her love, and made your self-doubt grow quieter for today. “Now c’mon,” she says after a minute or two, raising her head to look into your eyes with a lovestruck expression. “We should grab something for breakfast before it’s time for lunch.” 
And just like she had lifted the fog from over your eyes, she takes your hand and helps you up, ready to face the day by your side.
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roobylavender · 11 months
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You last ask was about Kory and something that came into my mind while reading her Tales of the Titans issue today was just how much her relationship with Dick has been diminished. No that’s not all Kory has/had but it was a humongous part of her relationship with earth and many other things so just to cast it aside has been something to read. I guess what brought this on is reading the new Tales of the Titans issue today for Starfire, and there were many nice moments (I still think it was a forgettable issue) it’s just crazy that even as a friend Dick was kind of just not there at all to the point he didn’t even need to be in the issue at all. His only role was to literally say “hi oracle” and then at the end to be like “oh I have to get back to Babs”. I know others won’t see it this way and just be glad that she’s not just about Dick but it’s not even about that it’s kind of like this thing where they keep trying to get her out of the way with out any meaningful conversation between the two even as old team mates. How many times do we have to see Kory give her approval of Dick’s relationship? Because she has to do it every time she has appeared recently. It’s not being unkind or harsh to her with writing but it’s starting to in the kindest way make it true that Kory was just a fling…
And I’m saying this as someone who equally loves Barbara Gordon as well…
Today did her no favors. In one issue she’s helping out the titans but at the end you are reminded that she’s Dick’s girlfriend hence her reason for being there. In another she’s murdered by Punchline in a dream. In another she’s held captive for Dick’s pain in his nightmare.
I’m just very tired of seeing these patterns repeated but seeing fans cling on to one or two panels that are considered goods to them.
Like superhero comics aren’t going to last long as the rate we are going. It’s burning old readers out and the new readers just want something to project onto.
i got your subsequent ask btw and i don't mind answering this at all! it's a perfectly valid vent if anything. i haven't read the issue (or much of anything really) myself but i'm not surprised.. it seems every year all dick and kory's interactions will amount to is revisiting that they're okay with the fact that they're broken up. which is wild frankly bc they officially broke up more than a decade ago so like.. what even is the need for any of this. if you as a writer are truly committed to the idea of them moving on from the romance but continuing to be teammates why not dedicate their interactions to that rather than reassuring your readers about the breakup as if they're stupid. and like you said why is acknowledging the foundations of that relationship antithetical to how they're portrayed when romantically apart. it's not like they jumped immediately into a relationship when introduced to each other. it took a long time for them to actually realize they liked each other like that let alone to start dating! that's kinda the whole crux of their relationship, is that they were such good friends and teammates first, so while a breakup certainly does change things that foundation doesn't automatically disappear. everything feels so surface level and immediately palatable these days and it's depressing. there's nothing real or deep anymore and it's insulting of writers to approach their relationship like it can only ever be deep if they're romantically attached when a big part of their dynamic even when they were off in the 90s/early 00s is that they were still incredibly close and reliant upon each other bc that was how deep the relationship went regardless of its nature. like what are either of them in the modern day but utter shells of themselves. it's sad
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alyjojo · 1 year
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March 👵🏻 2023 Monthly - Gemini
Whole of your energy: The Moon
You’re confused or fearful about getting re-involved with someone you were ready to let go of, divorce even, if that applies. The Swords pair are here, which can be ex’s, but the energy is more that it was never made “official” and you could just both be detached air signs, or have that energy, being a Gemini read. You’re weighing your options, and there is a lot you feel that you don’t know where this other person is concerned…which seems purposeful tbh.
What’s going on in March:
9 Wands:
You’ve gone through actual battles with this person, they’ve hurt you with Knight of Wands antics. They’re probably immature in many ways, rushing in and rushing out, not being held accountable for their actions, just a consistent “new day, new me” kind of energy. Sag energy, your opposite, but one you can understand because you also don’t like harboring on the negative. They seem like a repeat offender, to the point you’re like OKAY, my head does not say “Saloon”, you’re not just going to in/out this bitch as you please! This row also shows you having held onto this person rather than ending it for good, you’ve avoided the forever, get out ending. Could be you don’t even know why, or you just have the patience of a saint. I see no underlying motives from you at all, no attachment issues, not money, not toxicity, you just choose to put up with the bs. Love is why 💚
The Magician:
You have said your peace in regards to what needs to end, what needs to change, what you expect from your life and relationships going forward, and you’ve tried to release the past along with giving this person another chance. You’re not sure about it, but you favor the idea that they can get on board with what you’re asking. And I don’t see an Emperor, it’s not like you’re being dictatorial or authoritative, you just know you can create exactly what you want and how you like it, you know you’re actually the one in charge of the long-term here, so are they on board or not?
The Hanged Man:
This is the row of your uncertainty. The Hanged Man is watchful of the circumstances around them, they pay attention to everything going on outside of themselves and notice shifting energies. Patterns. You’ve been waiting for this person to actually prove themselves as having moved on from their inconsistent and non-committal crap, exactly what you’re done with. They’ve hurt you with other options, got your Sword up ready to cut them off, made you very defensive and have to stand your ground. Is that done with or is it just a show, for now?
7 Swords:
They are a very dodgy and avoidant character. They avoid accountability, avoid commitment, avoid any consequences for their actions and probably avoid clear communication too, which is something a Gemini needs in order to thrive and survive. They weren’t all in when they should’ve been with you, they probably had other options of some kind that they kept stringing along and never definitively made the choice of it’s YOU they want. But you did, that’s what has hurt you the most with them.
King of Swords:
They’re messaging you and wanting to act very quickly, let’s put all of this behind us and start over. They have a new opportunity, maybe a new job of some kind, and they could feel you’re their soulmate…or they’re lovebombing the hell out of you. I asked if they were chasing you or someone else, I get it’s you, but their motivation is PASSION, Ace of Wands. It’s difficult with “depth” and air signs, they have it but they don’t like to bask in it. Some seem totally devoid of it at all. This person seems to run on all passion though, motivated, fiery, take action, LETS GO, then it’s quickly running out of steam, don’t wanna, kinda tired, ooo something else! 🔥 You’re waiting around in the hopes this person has grown up a bit in this Hermit period…I don’t really get that they have, but they know how to make it look that way. Which makes it conscious. Being observant is probably your best bet, don’t go signing any contracts just yet. Could this be your soulmate? Sure, you’ve got three soulmate indications, possible Twin 🔥 too. There’s always a chance, but that’s for you to figure out, probably taking longer than March. Do you want them to be a soulmate? You’re never stuck to one person, you have multiple soulmates and don’t even have to end up with one. Free will.
Signs you may be dealing with:
Every sign except Leo & Aries, heavy air 💯
Oracles: ✨
“To become more fluid, add wine 🍷”
31 Omens 🐦
Hawks are messengers. This majestic bird flies high and reaches the realms of the spirit. They bring back messages from both the seem and unseen. Drawing this card speaks of focus and intuition. Pay attention to the coincidences in your life right now. Focus on where you want to go - how high do you want to fly? When you see a hawk, someone is trying to get your attention. Pay attention to serendipity in your life. Be glad, for this is a reminder that you are living in the flow of energy. Things will soon shift for you.
We enter into March as:
Final Sunset 🌅 :
“A life has come to its spectacular conclusion.”
This is a reminder to cherish all of the beauty in your life, including endings. Spirit embraces you and the loss you are aware of at this time. When we watch a day’s sunset, we can recognize the beauty of an ending. All things have a completion, even life. This is the end of a long journey. It is a time to reflect on your part of history, and discover what you value most. This could be a long emotional road ending, or simply a project at work that took a lot of effort and time. Too often we look to what is “next”, and miss the spectacular beauty of the finale. Do not fear the completion. Stay in the now, cry, laugh, reflect. Be with the fullness of your experience.
What is to be learned in March: You have two
Rose Without Thorns 🌹:
“It is time to face my true feelings.”
You are most fortunate. As we mature, we learn that to enjoy the beauty of a rose, we must occasionally risk getting pricked by a thorn. You are not facing “the same situation”, this is the dawn of feelings being awakened and a new truth being born. You’re being presented with a different way to live. Trust you will know what to do. Stay open. Time changes us all if we’re lucky, it’s time to surrender and make the change. The best incentive to change is often love.
Sage 🧙🏼‍♂️
“Wisdom...is knowing the difference between risk, and stupidity.”
It is time to listen to what others are telling you. Is there some wise counsel that you have sought, only to ignore it? Are you trying to do things all by yourself? A solution to your problems may come from those more experienced than yourself. Trust that whomever you think to ask will be the right person. Sage can also indicate a time of surrendering what you have no control over. Wisdom only comes from experience, and we all have challenges because we need the lessons they provide. Remember to stay in today, no jumping ahead. This is an opportunity to start over and clean out the old, it’s the perfect time to do it. Rejoice! You are walking a path of Great Spirits 🍃
Red & Green may be lucky colors ❤️💚
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ofmermaidstories · 2 years
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I recently read your Something (just like this) fic and oh my god IT'S SO GOOD!! I love how you wrote Deku, Sero and Mineta. He feels like his pervert self, but more mature and fleshed out?! I even thought about his dumbass 'offer' for a second LIKE WHAT, HE KINDA CHARISMATIC...'ok Deku boy I'm switching sides' . You made him so tolerable I even looked forward to reading more of him in the latest chapter, and I audibly shrieked for real, worrying about MINETAS safety at one point like- … You made me look forward to read about this grape-of-a-man…. Your writing skills got me flabbergasted fr.
If you could answer, do you have any future projects you're thinking of writing in mind? Like any characters you'd like to write about as well? Whatever you may be working on in the future it'll be a delight to read! (The question might've been answered but I'm not too familiar with navigating tumblr Oop I apologize!).
The way you structure your sentances is top tier and so easy to understand and follow for someone who's first language isn't english, like mee lmao. Also happy to see an author who take their time on writing and updating as they self seem fit!!! So many authors get burnt out and tired of writing because they ‘must’ update regularly.
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could you imagine if like, Mineta had accompanied Reader back to the suite and then stayed to be drinking buddies on the balcony???? omg…. and then like, they’re passing the bottle of Champange that like, Mineta lifted for them and their eyes meet…. dark and glittery….. I like to think they wouldn’t make out, simply because Mineta is for the Bros and not the Hos, but like…. you know, the tension would’ve been there, and then like, naturally that’s the moment that BAM, DEKU!
don’t mind me im just cackling to myself imagining it. actually, Anon, you’ve reminded me that i’ve been meaning to write a something!mineta one-shot for @vivianvampyric!! we’re a rock-star in it, and if i can find a way to shoehorn like, a theme of repeating damaging patterns/behaviours then i absolutely will. timeline wise it’ll have to happen after something ends sooo… hmm. 🧐 will have to plot it. but it’s on my list of future projects!! don’t apologise for not being able to navigate around this blog/tumblr—i think tumblr is quite a hard site to do anything more than like, click through blogs!! especially when you come to blogs like mine that like, just have no links LOL. i should probably fix that…. i’ve just been lazy. 😔🥺 and tbh i hate any kind of coding, no matter how minimal!!!! i had to get tumblr support to step in and help me fix my links in the blurb/header thing. 😔😔
but omg, please, you have no idea how much your ask delighted me!!!!!! apart from the fics i’ve listed in the above link (which i consider “high priority”), there’s a couple of other fic ideas floating around in my head. Like, there’s a second cowboy idea I’d like to write, but i keep calling it my not-a-fic because a) i don’t want to write the ending (lmao) and b) i’m not even sure i’ll post it when im done. 🧐 i can’t make up my mind, which means i’ve been slow with working on it (and only doing it for fun!).
Thank-you, though. 🥺 You’re very kind for coming by and saying hello—and for saying such nice things. 🥺🌷🌾🍊💜🌴 I’ve been working on the fifth chapter for something so i will make it a point to work faster—and to try and make it just as fun to read. 🥹📖🌷
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otakween · 19 days
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One Pound Gospel - Volume 3
Another volume, another chill read. In the end, I haven't learned much about boxing or being a nun lol. The strengths of this series are the cute characters and nice art. It doesn't take itself too seriously.
Ch. 20
So far the formula for this manga has been: new opponent introduced, Kosaku struggles to prepare for his fight with said opponent, and Angela struggles with her desire to cheer Kosaku on. Rinse, repeat. I predict Takahashi will just cruise with this pattern until the final arc of the final volume lol. Very repetitive.
Lots of extremely dumb characters in this series. New kid doesn't seem to understand you're not supposed to go around punching people outside a match, for example. I get that they're trying to establish his character as a naive, spoiled brat, but if this was the real world it would be weird he keeps making the same mistake.
Ch. 21
Oh, I guess I misunderstood. Yoshihiko made a promise to his parents that he'd knock Kosaku out. I thought he meant in a match, but I guess he just has to knock him out in general lol.
It was funny seeing Kosaku through Yoshihiko' lens as a cool role model. He did look pretty cool blocking his punch at the end there.
Ch. 22
A very silly and pretty racist chapter. Kosaku's next opponent is Mexican, so of course his name is "Tako," he's a taco chef and they imply he's a dumb bumpkin. -sigh- At least his relationship with Kosaku is pretty wholesome? Them bonding over being Christians and Kosaku showing him his church was sweet.
Sister Angela agreed to that Christmas date so easily...I guess Kosaku didn't say the word "date," so maybe that made it easier
The weeping Mary joke was very similar to a joke made in Derry Girls lol
Ch. 23
Oh alright, they kinda won me over. The Spanish was actually pretty decent (in the version I'm reading anyways) and it was nice to see Kosaku make an effort to speak some too. Also, Xavier (Tako's real name) going from making tacos to takoyaki was a clever pun.
I guess opponents only get two chapters now? At least I won't get bored.
Ch. 24
I was thinking "everyone in this manga has the same hair" but then I just realized, they just don't have anime hair. They have realistic, Japanese hair lol. Funny how rare that is.
New girl is cute! That scene where they were vowing to diet together while stuffing their faces was adorable. I wish Kosaku would genuinely have platonic feelings for her instead of being his usual horndog self. Oh well.
Ch. 25
Gasp! Non-Barbie anatomy nudity! I guess that's to be expected tho considering Ranma 1/2.
Kana really has zero self preservation instincts lol. If only the real world was safe enough to act like that.
The misunderstanding stuff is annoying, but at least Sister Angela took the "acceptance" approach to thinking she's being cheated on instead of getting angry and making a huge thing out of it. That would have been tiring to read lol.
An abusive boyfriend being played for comedy feels...wrong.
Ch. 26
IDK if the reveal that Kana got her black eye from being smacked into a chip container was supposed to make things alright. Her boyfriend still hit her upside the head!
This whole arc has just been the misunderstanding trope over and over again. Nobody likes that trope.
Ch. 27
So Kana wants to go back to her abusive boyfriend which...okay, realistic. But Kosaku telling Hiroshi to make up with Kana is not good advice!! He should be telling him to leave her alone >:/ I watch too much true crime for this shit.
Kana's a real one to swing by the church and clear up the misunderstanding. We love to see clear communication.
Ch. 28
Damn, didn't expect the pregnancy announcement. And Kana's actually physically abusive too (in a slapstick way)...good luck to them, I guess.
Wait, this is the 2nd boxing match to end with pregnancy lol. I guess boxers get all the ladies.
Only one volume to go and not much has happened. My prediction for the final volume is that we'll get more one-off stories and then maybe it will end with Kosaku and Sister Angela's first kiss. We'll see!
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tumortunes · 2 years
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feeling really overwhelmed rn
i've never been good at taking change in stride. i like consistency and knowing what to do. im going through a lot of growing pains rn and it's making me feel scared about the future and really questioning the person that i want to be. i will need to work for the characteristics and skills that i want to have. i know that i will love the skill once i practice more but im not really used to that. im used to intuitively being good at things from the start. but everything new that i'm trying is foreign to me. i don't have any background in this stuff and it's painful to continue doing it. it makes me stressed and want to give up. im seeing this pattern repeat with the academics of pa school, sewing my prom dress, and taiko. i played basketball today and that was comforting. it was just shooting around but i felt very good in that space. ive been there before. i know the environment works. what to expect. and how to make adjustments that are effective. i know how to adjust my shot when different issues pop up. it's comforting being in a space that i understand well. these growing pains are making me want to stop pursuing those activities. it's making me question my motivations for everything. i feel like i tend to do things that follow a plan to be praised and recognized for my achievement. but with these self imposed skill building activities i need to rely on myself for that satisfaction. im not happy just doing it for me tho. maybe im just tired and i feel this way rn. but at the moment im wondering why i ever tried so hard. in school and everything. i picked bio and health stuff bc it was admirable work and there was a clear path that you follow to be successful. manzanar pilgrimage was stablished bc i wanted a good project to add to my pa school app. something that showed leadership, community service, and passion. but the passion was kinda fake. it was just to get another good stat to get into a school to get a job that would be a good stat. it was just a means to an end that i decided i wanted but didnt put that much thought into. it was just the formula. i didnt even have to apply for the job i got for clinical experience. they just gave it to me basically. and i hyped up the clinical experience i had for the pa app. just another example of doing shit just for the application, not bc i have actual passion or interest.
it makes me wonder a lot about what i actually like. do i actually like basketball? do i actually like reading? or is it something i was exposed to at a young age and just got accustomed to and comfortable with.
i think these things do actually spark some joy. i like basketball for the teamwork. i like art for the praise. i like reading for the suspense and change in perspective. i like obon for the community.
what else do i like?
am i picking up sewing and taiko for genuine reasons?
i think i doing it bc i admire the people who are good at these skills and they inspire me to do it myself. i want to be cool too so i steal their qualities.
im over whelmed bc the hobbies that i was initially interested in are difficult. it's difficult bc im a beginner tho. i mentally know that but the emotional hurdles are big. i get overwhelmed at the amount of steps you have to go through to become good. the amount of practice. it's not a good mindset for a clinician who should be driven by curiosity and to better their craft so they can help more pts. i dont know if i have that quality.
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doitytoity · 2 years
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7.11
Okay let’s hash it out bestie. Couple things.
Went on an interesting “date”? with Marvin mf Drew on Saturday. Government name I’m 30 we’re rocking like that now I guess. For posterity. Anyway yeah it was cool enough when I rein myself in and acknowledge my expectations probably got the better of me on that one but in all fairness to me I got bait and switched so okay cool whatever. He’s nice and I do want to know more about him in the interest of being mature and not judging someone based on their initial very minute misgivings. I trust that I will know if it can’t continue for whatever reason.
Second, izier is being funny as shit. Like he’s spiraling due to lack of control and I’m just not playing a part in it. I don’t even care to really hash that one out it’s just hard because the situation is hard. I probably just need to let him do his own thing it’s clear that may be the only effective way to teach the lesson instead of repeating myself hella. Like I’m tired.
Jonny is desperate. He made it seem like right before izier got here he was ready to take me seriously which could not be farther from the truth. He’s doing the thing again whether he’s aware or not. The bread crumbing. He doesn’t understand that I no longer think he’s a commodity nor am I motivated by sex or the attention and care I know it will never actually provide. That didn’t make sense but you get it. His advances are laughable like what is wrong with men seriously. Not men. Not men. Doodz…with that undignified ass spelling and everything.
I’m kinda proud of where I’m at even though I anticipate that it might feel a little lonely at times, I don’t really want to give into games. Like I’ll play them right back but never again to my detriment. Never in such a way that leaves me empty. I’ll just dance around all the weird shit until something makes sense.
But like for example, with this Marvin thing, I guess the reason I’m so intrigued is because I’m lowkey learning right alongside him? Idk if that sentence was cohesive at all but alright. Like I get to see what dating at 30 might actually be like like this shit might actually be tough as shit. It’s hard when we’re new but also set enough in our ways but haven’t yet learned how to grow WITH someone or the value of that so we don’t know how serious to be or when… like I’m so used to love bombing or trauma bonding for a quick trick to feel close to someone when neither of us know if it’s even safe yet… and that’s like something I really need to be cognizant of. That’s a pattern that does not yield the results that I actually want, it’s not serving me long term.
I want a life partner. I am looking for a life partner. Does that need to happen tomorrow? Absolutely not in fact I know that will not work and I should be concerned if it did. It’s crazy to me how once I listed the characteristics for my perfect partner it really did make it easy to identify that like, Jonny can’t be a fit due to substance abuse issues. Even if it’s seemingly innocuous. It’s not. And that’s just something I have to be rigid with. Unless a prospect has demonstrated sustained self control around weed and alcohol it is not a gamble I can take. It’s easier to quickly identify what just won’t work and I like that a lot. I know I can’t go back to izier ever because of the religious aspect among many many other things. And clearly he has a hard time relinquishing control and exercising self control while speaking to me or at me (which is scarier) so like nah, I’m not gonna do the attitude or controlling behavior, or the mental gymnastics where I have to know what he wants to hear and then be dishonest about who I am to make him feel better. But it’s also none of his business so there’s that too…the entitlement is just so stifling. Like today I said I wasn’t going to hang and he pressed and was weird and was ultimately like “idc either way (uh okay if you felt that way you wouldn’t have to say that) just *be honest about what you got going on* because I don’t want to interfere” or WHATEVER and it’s just like but bro I can’t be honest because then I have to admit that you were essentially right like imma move on but the “moving on” is so nuanced like I’d be “moving on” mentally emotionally and spiritually regardless of Marvin’s presence you know?? Like of course I’m moving on that’s what I’m supposed to do now that I fully fleshed out the idea (WITH YOUR HELP) that you’ll never be what I want or need. I’m not thirsty for dick attention or validation like come on stop projecting!!! BUT IM NOT EVEN TRYNA SAY ALL THAT BECAUSE IM TALKING TO A BRICK ASS WALL MY GUY. Like I don’t need to explain all the little rabbit trails of how you’re right but actually so wrong. You don’t even need to know about Marvin so you can cross boundaries and pry and wreck it. Nah.
So idk rn. Things are weird but this is fully what I expected. Shit is gonna be weird for a while. Shit’s gonna be weird up until I cook for Marvin and then it’s gonna be different LMAO if I even get that far. I’m sooooo not pressed. He is super cute tho I’m just not tryna have any undue attachments or expectations. Like he’s so cute I could literally fall into his smile like yikes but also to be real we all know that’s not enough. We know the BASEBALL MITT HANDS are not enough (do we tho? 👀) mans got sausage fingers omg but ITS NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!! The cute Pete Davidson (🤮) gap is not enough!!!!!!
I have an open mind. What is mine is mine and will always be mine. I don’t have to chase it.
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dodo-begone · 3 years
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New Normal
Pairing: Yandere!Tubbo x Reader (with some Ranboo)
Request: we need more yandere tubbo i absolutely love the way you wrote him shdhhfjd........ maybe a short fic or some headcanons elaborating on "waking up in the mansion one day"? maybe the reader gets more afraid than going along with it .. I'd love to see ranboos aspect regarding tubbos behavior as well 👀
Word count: 2.3 k
Warning: yandere, kidnapping, drugging
A/n: This is all platonic. Nothing romantic. Also this was meant to be short not this long oh lord.
The night had been unforgiving to you as of late. Every night you felt like you were being watched over. It was so weird. It didn’t matter if the windows were open or not. Or even if they had blinds over them. Your paranoia was being fed by every noise emanating from the darkness. Now you weren’t afraid of the dark, never had been. But now, oh god the dark was terrifying. The unknown of the dark scared you. Anything could be hiding in there. And with this new “admirer” of yours, your newfound fear of the shadows was being fed a damn feast. The last straw for you was when you came home one night and saw your window broken and front door open. It spooked you too much; what if they were still inside? You couldn’t risk that.
That’s how you found yourself in Tubbo’s house, on his couch, hunched over and shaking over a cup of tea. You don’t remember why you came here, in all honesty. There were so many other people you could have chosen that were more than capable of protecting you. There was Sam, Bad, Sapnap, even Technoblade. Yet you still went to Tubbo. He was a comforting presence for you. And you just really wanted some comfort for this new fear of yours. Is this what I child felt when they were scared of the dark and needed a flashlight? God now you feel so bad for making fun of little kids for needing those.
“Hey are you okay,” a hand just fucking attacks your shoulder and you wip around. Oh god what if the guy got you now- wait it’s just Tubbo. Wow you overreacted there. Your swift actions shocked Tubbo, making him take a few steps away from you. He held his hands up in the air; an attempt to show he meant no harm to you. But you were just relieved at the sight of Tubbo.
“I don’t know,” a lump was forming in your throat. The tea isn't helping at all. You were so upset that you couldn’t even tell what flavor it was. Nor did you ask Tubbo, but that didn’t matter. Only distractions mattered now; a way to get your mind off of the paranoid thoughts. “I think I am”. Your grip on the cup tightened. Some of that was you trying to ground yourself, but another part of it was just tension. It was becoming harder to breathe and you had no idea why. There wasn’t a reason. Start breathing normally again- uh what was that breathing exercise?
Tubbo came around the couch and sat by your side. “Hey, can you look at me really quick?” He grabbed your hands and you looked at him. Somehow looking into his eyes made it harder to breathe. “Okay now repeat after me- wait not repeat. Uh, do what I do. Ready?” You didn’t get a chance to reply before he started. “Okay take a deep breath with me. In through the mouth for five and out the nose for four. In for five, out for four.” A small pattern formed from the mantra. Something about the exercise was extremely comforting, but you were never sure on what it was. Well you knew it had to do with slowing your breathing and helping you focus, but you felt like there was something else to it. There had to be something else to it. Why else would it be able to calm you so well right now?
It took a while, but you finally calmed down. Well, “calmed down” being a relative term. You were tired and numb inside. Your attention was completely focused on the flames in the hearth. They were mesmerizing. Happily dancing away, illuminating the room.
You hadn’t realized what was happening. All you remember is looking at Tubbo and then everything just became blurry. The sting of tears stung your eyes. Oh, you were about to cry again. That’s so annoying, stupid. You had just calmed down and yet you’re still crying. Craving human contact must be a symptom of sadness or some shit because you looked at Tubbo for comfort. And he gave you exactly that; opening his arms to give you a hug. Without a second thought, you essentially flew into his arms. He accepted you immediately and held you close. The tears that had once been contained by a damn once again ran free. Slowly you grew tired. Oh how you despised the act of crying and how it drained you so. A little nap wouldn’t hurt.
__________________________________ The sunbeams were attacking you and it hurt so much. So bright, demanding. You didn’t want to get up. Sleepiness still held you captive, flowed through your body like the very blood you had. Yet the light was relentless, attacking your closed eyes through it’s armor. A valiant effort was made to stay asleep and keep the sunlight out of your eyes. But it was futile. Rolling over did nothing but illicit noise and made you mildly uncomfortable. When you finally gave in, you just stared blankly at the wall.
For a wall, it was pretty. Kinda. It was plain but a stylish kind of plain. A timeless look. It took ages to finally muster the energy to even sit up, but you still did. The view changed yet it didn’t at the same time. It was pretty empty in the room. Three doorways, two next to each other on your right and one on your left, a bed, some curtains, a small nightstand, and a bookshelf. Other than that, there was a ton of open space.
Once you regained some more consciousness, you slipped out of bed. There was a jingle, but you didn’t really pay attention to it. You definitely heard it, you just thought something fell on the floor. Whatever it was could wait. The unexplored room was just waiting for exploration, though you could have easily explored it from your bed because of how empty it was. When you got to one of the doors, you slowly opened it to reveal a closet. It was absolutely filled with clothes you liked. Or some you were missing. Didn’t you own that shirt at home? And that one too? Huh, what a coincidence. Pretty cool.
Not even two steps away from the closet was another door, which you also slowly opened. Didn’t want to hit anyone. Through that door was a bathroom. It was pretty big and pretty. Very shiny and clean. There were some care products in there, some shampoo and conditioner. But you stopped yourself from looking too much. You didn’t want to snoop. It was rather rude to do.
Grogley you turn toward the last mystery door. It was all the way on the other side of the room. Man you weren’t awake enough for this. Yawning, you start your way to the other doorway. That must be the way back to the rest of the mansion. Sadly you didn’t get far. Not even halfway there before you were stopped. More accurately tripped. Something made your foot slip from underneath, making you fall onto your stomach. Everything ached, but your ankle felt weird. It was a different pain. When you tried to pull it closer to examine it, something stopped it and the sound of metal hitting itself rang across the room. You nearly give yourself whiplash from how quickly you turn your head.
A metal cuff clung onto your ankle which in turn was connected to a tense chain. At the other end of the chain was one of the bedposts. Specifically the one closest to the closet and bathroom. That’s odd. Okay now what’s going on here? Oh did Tubbo do this to make you feel more secure? Well it was and wasn’t working all at the same time. Because who puts an ankle chain on somebody?
A knock interrupted your thoughts. From your spot on the floor, you whipped your head back around to the last mystery door. You stayed quiet, wondering if you were just imagining noises. But another knock soon came. It was undeniable, very pronounced and purposeful. Whoever was out there- what could they be here for. Panic started to overtake you again, but the sound of Tubbo’s voice coming from the other side of the door caught your attention.
“Can I come in,” Tubbo announces his presence again with another round of knocks. With the amount of noise you made, you were pretty sure he knew you were awake. But you still replied to him.
“Yeah you can.”
Not even a second after you reply, the door slowly opens and Tubbo peaks his head in. He seemed to have woken up with some bedhead, which made him look boyish. A little careless for physical appearances, which can be an endearing feature. Tubbo gave the room a sweeping look, checking for something. What exactly, you couldn’t tell. But apparently he was satisfied because he opened the doorway entirely. You swiftly stood up, getting as close to the door as you could.
On the other side of the door was Tubbo in some pajamas. He looked a little sleepy, but his happiness shone through it. You smiled at the sight of him, happy that someone came to get you out.
“Good morning, Tubbo!” You gave a toothy grin and spread your arms to emphasize your joy. “Sleep well?”
“Good morning!.” He gave you a toothy smile in return, but it looked odd. Like it was forced, nervous even. But you must’ve just been looking too far into it. “I slept pretty good. How’d you sleep?”
“I slept like a fucking rock,” you reply with a little laughter. “Honestly? Best sleep of the month, man. Really needed it. Thanks for letting me bunk at your place last night.”
“Not a problem at all,” his smile soon became more natural, much bigger. “I really enjoyed having you over”. It seemed like he was going to say something else, but stopped himself. The nervous look reappeared on his face, and you gave the most reassuring look you could. “So about you moving in-”
“Oh yeah that,” your smile disappeared as quickly as it came. “I can’t just do that Tubbo. I just can’t.” Tubbo seemed saddened by your response. “It’s not like I don’t want to live with you,” you explained. “I’d love to live with you and Ranboo, but I have other responsibilities. Things that have to be done very far from the mansion. Seriously, I’d love to stay.”
“Then stay.” It was a simple statement on his part. You thought it was a little banter.
“I’d stay if I could Tubbo. But I gotta go.”
“You can’t go.”
“Yes I can, Tubbo. Now can you please unchain me, I gotta go.” You lift your ankle and shake it along with the chain for emphasis.
But Tubbo doesn’t even give it a look before answering. “You can’t leave.”
His actions are words are a bit worrying now, huh. This is just a silly prank. Any second now he’ll say it’s a joke and release you. Yeah, any moment now.
That moment never comes though.
“Come on now,” Tubbo starts to lead you back to the bed. “Get back in bed. You still look tired.”
“I’m not tired Tubbo,” your voice hardens to emphasise the fact that you really don’t need this shit right now. “Look I’m completely fine and I have to go. This joke isn’t funny anymore. Just unlock the fucking cuff and I’ll be on my way.”
You two stop at the bed and he gently ushers you in. Climbing on the bed to give you a hug. Struggling against him does no good. If anything, it just makes things worse. He just tightens his grip like a damn python. Wtf why is this kid so strong and clingy? This definitely isn’t a good combo.
“Look you aren’t fine. See?” He emphasizes his point by hugging you tighter. Which you don’t like and groan in protest. “You need to rest. It’s fine. You’re home.”
Internally you start to panic. Yo, hold up, what the hell is he talking about? You know damn well you ain’t home or agreed to stay here. So what does he think he’s doing?
There’s a cough from the doorway, and both you and Tubbo’s attention is diverted to the newcomer. At the threshold of the room is Ranboo. A platter loaded with food held between his hands. He looks awkward standing there. And you don’t blame him because you felt awkward just being in the hug. You couldn’t even imagine the embarrassment you’d get from walking in on this shit. When your eyes meet, he gives you a small, unsure smile.
Movement behind Ranboo catches your attention. You look behind Ranboo’s legs to see Micheal clinging onto Ranboo’s pants. He looked so happy. Well, happy being debatable and interpretive. He looked normal but he was making his little happy noises. Micheal bounded over to you, stretching his arms out while making the most adorable little oink noises. You look between Tubbo and Ranboo for any sign. Literally anything for them. But Tubbo just encourages you. So you pick up Micheal and hold him close to your chest.
Tubbo gives a cheer of joy while Ranboo joins in, though a little less enthusiastic. Still the fact he sounded genuinely happy about this situation was worrying. Especially since he knew what was going on. Knew how wrong it all was. Micheal had no idea. Happily oinking way in your lap and messing with your hands. Suddenly two sets of arms entangle themselves around you; pulling themselves toward you for a hug.
Looking down at Micheal, you now question if the backstory you were told about him was true. Was he actually found wandering around? Or was he kidnapped, just like you?
652 notes · View notes
flareish · 3 years
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Anxiety
kuroo x reader
summary: you hide your anxiety from basically everyone including your boyfriend, until he finds out for himself
genre: hurt/comfort
warnings: Emetophobia Warning! description of nausea/vomit, anxiety, bit of angst but ends in fluff
word count: 2.0k
a/n: I tried to make this as close to my anxiety since I hadn’t known anyone with my kind of anxiety(symptom wise) until I was seventeen, which was a good ways into when I realized I had anxiety. So here is some nausea anxiety representation!
masterlist
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You tap your fingers in a mindless rhythm. Alternating the fingers and repeating them back and forth, trying to make it a game, a challenge. You did this over and over again to distract yourself from that all too familiar sinking feeling. That feeling like your stomach has managed to twist and knot itself a million times. Each bump of the bus made acid crawl up your throat. You crunched a mint in your mouth hoping the peppermint would soothe some of the nausea. It didn’t, but the thought was there. You just will yourself not to throw up on the bus, anything but that. The thought in itself makes you even more nervous, and in turn even sicker.
You don’t even know why you are anxious. Today is Kuroo’s big game, but it isn’t yours. You’ve been to a hundred of his games before but never before did you feel like this. Normally you get cute little butterflies, not an angry swarm of bees. The worst part is, there is Kuroo sat next to you happy as can be, completely oblivious. He keeps trying to drag you into conversations but you fear if you open your mouth for too long, all that will come up is vomit. So you keep your mouth firmly closed only smiling tightly or shaking your head at his prompts.
It's not exactly his fault though. He doesn’t actually know you have anxiety. It’s not something you really like to talk about. You are all for promoting the acceptance of mental health but you just find every time you tell someone the dynamic changes. Either they flat out don’t believe you since you “don’t seem like the type with anxiety”. Well duh, I don’t have social anxiety, I have situational anxiety. Like here in this situation. That or they suddenly treat me like I am incapable of handling myself. That whenever a slightly stressful event comes up, I am going to melt into a puddle of pure anxiety. Sorry but I’ve made it this far, I may have to throw up a few times on the way but I am still making it. 
So you just haven’t told Kuroo. You're just nervous that it will change the dynamic. You also don’t want to steal his spotlight. Today is supposed to be all about him. It's his big game. To suddenly speak up and tell him that his game is giving you anxiety would be selfish. So like you always have, you put a brave face on and face it head-on.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kuroo asks you, now facing you, “You look a little pale.”
“Hmm?,” You also turn to look at him, “Oh I am just a bit tired that’s all. I will be fine in an hour or so.” You hope at least. He nods relieved it's not something worse. 
You finally pull into the stadium and everyone is pushing their way off the bus. Luckily Kuroo is right by you to make sure you don't get accidentally pushed down the bus stairs and trampled. The team makes it’s to the bulletin board where they are given their matchups. Nekoma is paired with a pretty hard team. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you dry heave. You knew at the point you were going to throw up and within the next few minutes. 
“Hey I think I left something in the bus I’ll be right back.” You say to Kuroo before dashing off. He goes to reply but you are already gone. 
You make it around the back of the building before you throw up. At this point you’re kinda out of it, your mind is occupied on emptying your already empty stomach. Then you feel someone pull your hair back and gently rub your back. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Kuroo. When you finish he hands you his water bottle.  You waterfall it and rinse your mouth out of that acidic taste. 
“What’s going on are you okay?” Kuroo asks full of concern. You hesitate for a moment, thinking of telling the truth. Then you remember this is supposed to be his day. 
“Sorry I must have caught a stomach bug.” He doesn’t completely buy it so you quickly add to it.
“I didn't feel great on the bus but I just thought it was because I was tired.” You feel bad lying, “I also don’t want to distract you before your game.” At that Kuroo quickly pulls you into a hug, “Your not a distraction, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Your cheek is pressed against his chest and your hands grip the front of his shirt. 
“We should probably head back.” You mumble.
“Yeah.” He leans down to kiss you but you duck away. He looks incredibly offended and hurt at this.
“Dude I just threw up I don’t know if you want to do that.” 
“…Point.”
The two of you head back inside to the team, you feeling much better after throwing up. Before you know it, the competition has begun and Nekoma has won. You run down and celebrate with the team and it’s a happy day.
On the bus ride home Kuroo has a strange energy about him. Not like he’s mad more just like he’s just realized something. You nudge him and smile hoping to break him out of his little funk. He immediately smiles back and goes back to celebrating with the team. His reaction was almost like putting a mask on. You watch him for a moment before slipping into a conversation of your own.
When you make it back to school you go your separate ways. Him going to shower, and you to get home before it gets too late. A big hug before pushing away. You still refusing to kiss him after throwing up earlier in the day. 
You are laying on your bed, exhausted. Anxiety really takes a toll on your energy. Your thoughts are broken when your phone chimes with a text.  Leaning over to grab your phone off your bedside table you see it is from Kuroo. 
“Can you come over? I want to talk.”
No cute pet names. No slowly easing into it. Actually using proper grammar. Nothing in that message was a good sign. Just “I want to talk” was enough to make the acid begin to crawl again. You knew it had to be about today. Especially after you saw him zoning out on the bus. It had to be your anxiety episode. You knew he wouldn’t be happy you lied but going to this extent. Like he just found out you have anxiety and this is what he hits you with? The world’s most nerve-wracking text message. The only worse place than this would be “we need to talk”. That’s when you have really screwed up. So maybe you’ve only minorly screwed up since he said want not need. Does that mean you have the choice to say no? That was kind of tempting but you knew you would be tossing and turning all night thinking about what might be wrong. 
“Okay.” You reply to the text. Short and sweet. Putting on some shoes and grabbing a hoodie, you quietly slip out of your house. Kuroo’s house wasn’t too far but it was far enough. Enough to continue to stir in your intrusive and unstoppable thoughts. You eventually make it to his house and head in going straight for his room. Before you reach the door you hesitate and gather yourself. Preparing for whatever was about to come. 
When you go in you find Kuroo sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the bed. He jerkily looks up and you and gives you a tight smile. None of this is giving good signs. Something is very heavy on his mind. You sit down across from him, your back against the wall your feet almost touching. 
“So what was it you wanting to talk about.” You break the silence. He doesn’t respond for a moment. Just as you are about to try again he speaks up.
“Do you still love me?” Your face drops into confusion.
“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore?” You ask, suddenly realizing this wasn’t the conversation you were prepping yourself for. 
“You’ve been distant lately. You don’t tell me things like when you don’t feel good. I thought about it when I got home and I was wondering if you weren’t actually sick but just making the excuse because you got caught.” He’s very serious at the moment and his words hold a cold edge. 
“What do you mean get caught?” You match his tone. You weren’t planning on fighting but something about how he said it just set something off in you.
“You didn’t want to be there. Ever since this morning you were quiet and reserved. Even after the game, you wouldn’t even kiss me-”
“Yeah, cause I threw up! And how could I be faking it when I literally threw up.” You snap.
“You’ve been like this before though! Like last year’s big tournament you would barely talk to me.”
“That’s not true!” Although it kind of was just not the reason he thought.
“Oh yeah? What about at training camp you wouldn’t talk to me then either, you didn’t even eat with us you just sat on your own.” He threw back.
“Yeah, cause I have anxiety!” The words left your mouth before you knew it. Kuroo looked taken back.
“What?” His brow furrows, “Since when?” He’s not sure what to believe. You’re not surprised since you have worked very hard to hide it from everyone, accidentally sabotaging your own relationship without even knowing it. 
“Since forever. I just never told anyone.” You quietly say, ducking your head down.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” You didn’t even need to look up to see the hurt on his face, it was apparent in his voice. You start playing with your finger, tapping them in rhythms.
“I wanted to,” You mumble, “But whenever I do stuff changes and I didn’t want anything to change.” He shifts forward and you think he’s going to leave. Instead, he grabs your hands, stopping the pattern you had going. You look up.
“Did you think I would judge you?” He was staring straight into you, willing the truth to come out.
“Whenever I tell people they either don’t believe me and brush it off or treat me like I’m incapable of handling any amount of stress. I’ve never seen anyone react any differently so I was scared you would fall into one of those reactions and I didn’t know how I could handle that. I didn’t want my anxiety to be the thing to tear us apart. But I guess it still was.” By the end of your speech, your gaze has returned back to the floor, unable to hold eye contact for that long with him staring at you so strongly. You hear him sigh then you are pulled forward and into his arms. 
“I want to be your pillar of support. I want to be that third reaction that is one of acceptance, one that doesn’t drive you crazy.” He strokes your hair soothingly, his words making you tear up, “When you are ready I want you to tell me everything. From when you first noticed it, to where it is now, to how you deal with it, everything.” By now you are fully crying, absolutely collapsed into his chest. “I love you so much.” It gets muffled in his shirt but he hears it.
“I know, and I love you.”
It would take some time for Kuroo to get used to this change but slowly but surely he will be different from the rest and he will support you no matter what. Although he also respects your strength and knows you can handle your anxiety on your own, he is always there when you need it. He becomes the third unexpected and unheard-of reaction; acceptance.
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Odd Hours//Getting Even
Pairing: Marcus Pike x Reader Rating: T Warnings: Cursing; Fluff; slow burn but not nearly as slow as my usual slow burns. Notes: This is uh... I don’t know, I’ve had the idea kicking around in my head for a while. Also please excuse the film trivia. I will take any excuse to talk about The Man Who Came to Dinner. I couldn’t decide on which title would suit better so I named it both. Not beta-read. Summary: You’d never spoken to the your new neighbor before, just traded friendly waves… At the oddest times. 
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Your new neighbor looked very put together all of the time. Well… The couple of times that you’d seen him in passing. He was always in a suit, his tie was always straight, and his hair was always coiffed so neatly. You just assumed that he looked that good all the time. You’d seen him with a beard once, and then the next time you’d seen him, he was clean-shaven. He was gorgeous both ways, but that beard… Fuck, it had looked good. You’d never spoken to the guy before, just traded friendly waves… At the oddest times.
-- The first time you spoke to him was evidence of that. It was almost three in the morning. You’d just gotten off of work at one of your jobs at a bar. You stifled a yawn as you stepped off of the elevator and fished into your pocket for your keys. You managed to dislodge something on your way, but you didn’t notice. At least, not until you heard: “You dropped this.” You turned to see your neighbor holding out the foldable reusable bag you tended to keep in your pocket. “Oh!” You reached out, smiling, “Thank you-- I didn’t even notice.” “Sure,” He nodded, “We haven’t met, I’m in 5B.” “5A,” You jerked your thumb over your shoulder to your door. “Marcus Pike,” He held his hand out to you, and you shook it, giving him your name. “Long night?” You asked, and he chuckled, nodding. “Very.” The two of you linger for a moment longer before you nod over your shoulder, “I’ve got a couple of hungry cats to get to, so.” “Right,” Marcus nodded. “Nice to meet you.” “You, too.” You ducked into your apartment, shutting and locking the door behind yourself. You flicked the living room light on and tossed your keys into the bowl beside the door. You stepped further inside, smiling at the sight of your two Siamese cats, Princess and Pyewacket. They lifted their heads from where they were both lounging on the couch. “I met our neighbor,” You told them. Pyewacket got up, stretching before jumping off of the couch and following you into the kitchen. “Yes, he seemed very nice,” You answered the cat’s unasked question as you reached down, scratching his chin above the black moon and star patterned collar he had on. Princess slinked into the kitchen behind him, a matching pink collar around her neck. “And hello to you, too,” You murmured, “Let’s get you fed.” -- The next run-in was almost two weeks later. It was nearly noon, and you were coming off of your other job at a bookstore nearby. You ran into Marcus as he was leaving his apartment, and your brows rose. “Hi there,” he greeted, smiling. “Hey,” You shift your bag on your shoulder as you twirl your keys around your finger. “How are the cats?” You laughed a little, nodding, “They’re good. I won’t say they were happy to see me, but I fed them, so they tolerated my existence for another day.” You eyed his pristine-as-usual-suit. “Heading to work?” “Yeah, just came off of a late night. I actually just kinda...Came back to shower and change,” He absently swept his hand over his tie. “Oh, yikes,” Your brow furrowed, “What do you do?” “I work for the FBI, International Art Theft.” Your brows rose. “Wow.” “Surprised?”
“A little,” You admitted as you walked to your door, “I had my money on your being a lawyer.”
“Really?”
You lean back against your door, waving at him, “It was the suits.” 
He chuckled, “I should get going-- as long as you don’t have any stolen art in there.”
“If I did, I wouldn’t tell you, now would I?” You teased, shooting him a wink, “Have a good day, Agent, and uh-- try to get some sleep at some point.”
--
It wasn’t every day that you got a knock on your door at two in the morning. Your hackles were immediately up, and you were quiet and careful as you crept toward your door. You peered through the peephole, frowning at the sight of Agent Pike-- And one of your cats. You hurriedly flicked your light on and opened the door. “Is, uh, this one of yours?”
“Pye,” You groaned, reaching out to take Pyewacket out of Marcus’ arms, “I’m sorry-- sometimes he slips out when I come in, and-- He’s such a weirdo, he always waits right out here.” You cuddled him close to your chest, smiling a little as Pyewacket pushed his head up against your chin. “Thank you,” You added, scratching Pye under the chin, “I hope he didn’t bug you.” “No, he was pretty friendly.” Your brows rose. That was rather unlike Pyewacket. “I’ll be honest, I was a little surprised to see you holding him-- Though that was more because, you know.” “It’s like two in the morning?” Marcus asked. You laughed, nodding. “Another late night for you, Agent?” “Slightly,” Marcus admitted before reaching out and scratching Pyewacket under the chin, “But I appreciated the welcoming committee.” You smiled, glancing down at the cat as Marcus’ fingers brushed yours. “Well, I’m glad Pye could be of assistance.” “‘Pye’?” Marcus repeated, leaning in your doorway, “Like the food?” “Oh, no. It’s short for Pyewacket,” You explained, shifting the cat in your arms. “Like in Bell, Book and Candle with uh-- Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart?” He asked. You blinked up at Marcus in surprise. “Uh… Yeah,” You nodded, and laughed, “Sorry, just-- Most people don’t know that.” “I’m a fan of classic movies. --Who’s this?” Marcus looked down.
You followed his gaze, laughing, “Someone that was feeling left out. That’s Princess,” You smiled. You took a little bit of a step back as Marcus crouched down to pet her. You were suddenly acutely aware that you were in your pajamas and Marcus was still very...very suited. You couldn’t help but grin as he cooed over Princess, though. “I’m not gonna lie, you strike me as a dog guy,” You admitted. “Oh,” Marcus scooped Princess up, cradling her against his chest, “I do like dogs, don’t get me wrong, but my grandmother had a cat-- big fluffy Persian named Chester.” You were quiet for a moment, watching Marcus and Princess before you glanced into your apartment. “Do um--” You hesitated, “Do you wanna come in for a drink or something?” Frankly, standing across from a cute guy as you each held one of your cats had to be the weirdest way you had ever asked a man into your place. But it wound up with you and Marcus on your couch with a beer each having a shockingly nice conversation. You didn’t keep him long - you could tell it had been a long night for him and you didn’t want to keep him late - not to mention you had come off of a shift at the bar and you were pretty tired yourself.
Pike was out of there by 2:45 (though you’d gotten his number in your phone and yours in his by 2:42). Pyewacket trotted after him to the door. Marcus gave him one last scratch under his chin, one last look at you before he murmured, “Goodnight.”
--
Smitten was not the word you would use.  It was what you were, but you wouldn’t admit it. Hell, you barely knew the guy, had only met him a couple of times. But he seemed sweet-- and your cats liked him, that was a good sign. 
You tried not to reflect on the fact that that thought made you sound like your Great-Aunt Cecily.
You held off on using Pike’s phone number for about two weeks. Then one night, around 10:30, in the middle of a William Powell marathon on TCM, Pyewacket jumped off of your couch and trotted over to the front door. You frowned, watching him and muttering, “What the fuck, dude?” before you heard the jingling of keys. You smiled when you realized why he’d gotten up - and went out on a limb as you pulled your phone out and texted Pike:
-Either you just got home or the ghosts in the hallway are bothering my cat again
You raised your phone, snapping a quick picture of Pyewacket at the door before sending it off. You glanced down at the lone messages in the chat before you closed it, tossing your phone onto the couch cushion beside you. It didn’t stay there long, though-- it buzzed a moment later.
5B: You’ve got a great alarm cat
5B: Just how often do the ghosts in the hallway bother Pyewacket?
5B: And how many ghosts are we talking?
-Like once a week, they’re very mean to him.
-And at least two ghosts, I’m convinced
You put your phone down, figuring that that would be the end of it. You were wrong. 5B: They bug Princess, too?
-Nope, they don’t dare. No one fucks with Princess
-How’s work?
5B: Busy.  -Long day?
5B: Excruciatingly
-Sorry 😞
You winced, resting your head on your hand and considering.  Why did you use an emoji? You raised your phone and snapped a picture of Princess where she was curled up on your lap.
-You could take Princess with you next time if it’ll help?
5B: Might take you up on that. I’d prefer not to be fucked with tomorrow
You smiled. -I’ll see what I can do about a leash
5B: Very kind of you
-Anytime
--
5B: Okay, I don’t wanna be weird, but I feel like almost every time I come in around dinner time, whatever you get or are making smells delicious
You looked down at your phone as it buzzed and chuckled, picking it up from where you’d left it on the counter. 
-Not weird. Not to brag but I’m kinda the slow-cooker queen
You glanced at the slow-cooker, and the timer reading fifteen minutes left on the food you were making. It was a large batch - you’d wanted to have enough so that you could bring lunch to work at the bookstore. But there was enough to spare. You hesitated before texting,
-Hungry? 
--
Marcus brought wine, and stayed for three hours. The two of you ate dinner, did the washing up, and wound up on your couch watching It Happened One Night. Conversation flowed over most of it - you’d both seen it several times. The movie gave the two of you the chance to watch and weave in and out of conversation and film trivia without pressure. Pye and Princess curled up on the couch between you like sleepy little chaperones.
By the time he left, the bottle of wine that he’d brought was empty, and he had cat hair all over his pant legs.
“Thanks for dinner,” He turned around to face you as he stopped in the hall.
“Sure,” You leaned in your doorway, tucking your hands into the pockets of your sweatpants.
“I’ll have to have you over sometime, make us even.”
Your stomach flipped at the offer and you nodded, “I’d like that.”
--
“What’s got you out so late?”
“Work.”
“I’m guessing it’s the bar and not the bookshop?” Marcus asked as he watched you slouch against the wall of the elevator. You smiled a little tiredly. “I see those sharp skills aren’t just reserved for art thieves, Agent Pike.” He chuckled as the two of you stepped off at your floor. “What about you?” You asked. “Grabbed drinks with the team after work. We closed a case.” “Congratulations,” You smiled, “What happened?”
“It’s a slightly long story,” Marcus shrugged, “...Would you like to come in and hear about it?” “Gimme half an hour to shower and feed the babies and I’ll be right over.” --  “...Shit.” “What?” You lifted your head from his shoulder. Considering the last two times Marcus had been to yours, you hadn’t had any reservations about going over to Marcus’ in your comfy clothes. You’d shuffled over in your slippers, and when Marcus had opened the door, you’d held up a bottle of white wine. He’d grinned and told you it would pair well with the grilled cheese he was planning on making for the two of you. Without the cats between you, you and Marcus had settled close together on the couch. As the late night wore into early morning, you’d wound up tucked into his side as you talked. “It’s almost four,” He chuckled, looking away from his watch. “Oh,” You yawned widely, “I should let you get to bed.” “I’m the boss, I can get in a little late.” You smiled, tipping your head up and finding him watching you. “You don’t seem the type to abuse that power,” You teased. “Long as it doesn’t become a habit.” “Mm-mm,” You shook your head a little bit and sat up, “I don’t wanna be a bad influence. I save that for Pye and Princess.” “Can I walk you home?” You laughed and nodded as you and Marcus got up from the couch. You missed the warmth of him as soon as you were up, and you were so tempted to turn back toward him and cuddle into his chest-- if only to warm back up. You chatted a little more on your way to the door, and you tried not to overthink the way Marcus put his hand on your lower back as he opened the door for you. -- “Can you recommend a good book?” You didn’t look away from what you’re shelving, but you couldn’t help the slight flurry of butterflies in your stomach at the question. “That depends on what you’re looking for.” “Oh...Maybe something on classic film.” “That’s gonna be two aisles that way,” You nodded over your shoulder, “Back wall.” “Could you show me?” “You really don’t have anything better to do today, Agent Pike?” You teased. There was a pause before you heard him drifting closer to you. He peered over your shoulder, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear as he murmured, “Well, I was hoping I could take you to lunch, if you’ve got time.” “You trying to even out our meal score?”
You glanced up as he leaned against the shelf beside you and met your eyes. “I’m trying to spend more time with you,” He admitted, “If you’re interested.” You lowered your eyes to the books you were shelving, unable to help the smile that grew on your lips at his bluntness. “I’m interested.” 
-- 
Lunch ended with plans for Marcus to come over after your shift at the bar the following night. He dropped you back off at the bookstore and left you with a kiss on the corner of your mouth that you thought about for the rest of your shift. --
TCM was airing a Bette Davis marathon. By the time you got home, it was nearly 10:30. You showered, neatened up the apartment, cleaned as much cat hair off of the couch as you possibly could, and told Princess and Pyewacket to behave themselves. Princess blinked at you; Pyewacket flicked his tail. You texted Marcus that he could come over whenever he was ready, and there was a knock on the door ten minutes later. Marcus looked cozy in a way you hadn’t seen before - sweatpants and a t-shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders and strong arms. You stepped back and nodded him in, and grinned as he crouched down, immediately scooping up Pyewacket as he came over. --
“You know, Bette Davis wanted John Barrymore to play Whiteside,” You were cuddled against Marcus’ chest; his arm was curled around your shoulders, fingers skimming along the strap of your tank top, “But he was drinking so heavily he couldn’t remember his lines. They wound up going with Monty Wooley-- he played Whiteside on Broadway, too.” “Really?” Marcus’ question was mumbled against your temple. You nodded a little. “Mhm. Cary Grant was set to play the role at one point, but Davis was so against it that he withdrew.” “Something tells me you like this movie.” You laughed, reaching out and absently picking off a piece of cat hair off of his sweatpants. When you’d disposed of it, you rested your hand on his knee lightly, giving him a chance to shake it off. Marcus just gave your shoulder a squeeze, and you gave his knee one in turn.
-- 
The two of you watched The Man Who Came to Dinner and All About Eve. “I’m worried that I’m setting a dangerous precedent for your sleep pattern,” You sighed as the credits rolled. It was almost half past three. “Mm, don’t worry about me,” He murmured, nuzzling into your neck. You closed your eyes, shivering a little bit. “...Do you wanna stay over?” You offered, raising your hand and lightly running your fingers along Marcus’ arm. “I’d like that.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “C’mon,” You urged, patting his thigh and standing. “Should we clean up?” Marcus stood with you, looking at the empty popcorn bowl and discarded cans of beer on the coffee table. “Nah, we can deal with it in the morning,” You took hold of his hand, leading him back to your room. Marcus glanced back toward your cats, to where Princess and Pyewacket were still settled on the couch. “Do the cats sleep with you?” He asked. “Sometimes.” “They gonna be mad if I shut your door?” “They’ll get over it.”
-- It was your alarm that woke you up. You leaned across Marcus, mumbling your ‘sorry’s and shutting it off. Once you did, you leaned back down, resting your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes again. You smiled as his arm curled around your waist. “You need to go?” He mumbled. “No, just-- Forgot I had it set.” “Good.” You smiled, turning your head and nuzzling against his shoulder. “You sleep okay?” “Mhm,” He hummed, sliding his thumb along the hem of your shirt, “You should stay over at mine next time.” “So we’re even?” You blinked up at him as his fingers curled under your jaw, tipping your head up to look at him. “Things aren’t always about getting even,” He smiled sleepily down at you. “What’s it about then?” “...Why’d you ask me to stay over?” You hesitated before you pushed yourself up to lean over him, “I thought you’d look good in my bed. And whaddaya know? I was right.” Marcus laughed, using the arm wrapped around you to draw you against his chest. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?” He asked. “Mm?” “Kissing you.” Heat curls in your stomach, tingling and pleasant. “Something stopping you?” You asked. The hand on your jaw slipped down to rest on the back of your neck. His eyes darted between your eyes and your lips for a few moments before he leaned up, brushing his lips against yours. You felt that spark grow in your stomach, and you dipped your head a little closer, chasing the chaste touch. You shifted, leaning more heavily against him and resting your hand on his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt, hooking in his collar. When he pulled you closer and turned, settling you down on your back, you went easily, letting your thighs splay so that he could lay between them. You moaned quietly as your kisses became warmer, more insistent. You wrapped an arm around Marcus’ shoulders, sighing as he slipped a hand under your shirt. And then you heard a yowl at your door. You groaned quietly, dropping your head back as Marcus laughed, resting his forehead against your neck. “I told them to behave,” You whined. “Don't blame them, this is on me. I should’ve kissed you last night,” Marcus murmured against your throat. You shivered, chuckling a little. “I should feed them before they do something rude like continue to yell... or throw up in your shoes.” “Would they do that?” “Oh, god yeah. I love Princess, but she’s an asshole.” --
You reached down, setting Pye’s food dish down for him and scratching him behind the ears as he began to eat. Princess was already halfway through her food. You glanced over at your phone as it buzzed on the counter and grinned when you saw who it was.
❤️5B: How’s unpacking?
-Nearly finished. A couple of boxes left. Pye was sleeping on a stack, so I couldn’t touch it.
❤️5B: No worries, baby. On my way home. Need anything?
-Cat food and popcorn. Humphrey Boggart marathon starts at 8
❤️5B: Takeout?
-Nope, got dinner covered. ❤️5B: You’re my favorite. -Don’t let Pyewacket hear you saying that. ❤️5B: Favorite human.
-Better. Btw some couple moved in across the hall. I think they have a dog?
❤️5B: I’ll make sure Pye doesn’t get out when I come in
Tag list: @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo; @fantasticcopeaglepasta; @paintballkid711
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rainygothherowolf · 3 years
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Daminette- Oblivious Idiots
Ladybug groans her face in a pillow as she freaks out a little a lot.
"How'd you figure it out? I'm not that obvious, am I? Do you think he knows? He can't know, that would be awful- ohhhh NonononononoNOnonononooooo. No. Please, tell me he doesn't know." Ladybug is laying face down on the couch in the living room of Titans Tower, Beast Boy smirking down at her reaction to being found out. The boy just brought up her rather obvious crush, and now the Parisian hero is a little panicked. If Beast Boy noticed who else did? Everyone on the team is really smart.
The Parisian joined the Titans over a year ago after asking the Justice League for help. She fits into the team’s dynamic really well, playing video games with Beast Boy and Kid Flash; hanging out with Star and binging rom-coms; Raven was a tough nut to crack but didn’t seem to mind hanging out. They did get along but respected that they just had very different interests.
Robin is a completely different story, at first he was rude but the bluenette was stubborn. She wasn't going to deal with his bratty attitude, she sticks up for her herself. At some point, the Parisian earns his respect. They became friends over time, working well together though Robin insisted they train so she could improve her technique.
"It's kinda obvious for me, but he's pretty dense. Bats are always idiots when it comes to emotions n' stuff." The young Parisian hero looks up from her pillow.    
"I know that... he's my best friend. Friend- Merde. What if he sees me just as a friend!?" The bluenette's hands go to her hair, eyes blown wide. It takes everything in Beast Boy not to laugh at how blind the girl is being. Does she not see how smitten the fourth Robin is for her? That he acts more like a human being when she's around?
"No, what if all he ever sees in me is a friend? This isn't good, then we'll never date and he's just so datable. Have you seen the way his nose crinkles when he tastes something he doesn't like, holding it until it goes away? And the way he swoops his hair, I'd bet it's soft. And he's so strong-"
"Ew. I have ears, please don't-" Ladybug doesn’t seem to hear him, continuing her rant. 
"And then one day I'll have to watch him fall for someone, I think I already have. It's awful- not that I'm not happy he's happy, because I am- but I think he likes Raven. They spend so much time together, sneaking off sometimes."
"I bet they like each other, how could I compete with her. She's amazing, and- and I'm not." The bluenette's tone goes from one of acceptance to defeat.
"Oh, okay, we got serious. Uh- don't cry." When he and Raven went over the plan, they hadn't covered the possibility of a) Ladybug thinking Robin and Raven were a thing; or b) that Ladybug would compare herself to Raven. The Parisian is always so self-confident and optimistic, perfect even- she never lets anyone get her down. She huffs at his less than helpful response.
"I'm not gonna cry. It's just, why would he like me? I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm annoying." The girl stands pacing, trying to decipher the enigma that is Robin. The girl's moods changes at the drop of a dime, leaving Beast Boy to try and play catch-up.
"Am I  annoying to him? Probably. Raven is so calm and nice, he has no reason not to like her."
"That's definitely not true, if he thinks that he would tell you." She nods, sitting on the couch, leaning on her hands. His words help a little but a girl’s mind is her worst enemy, all the worst 'what if's' popping into her brain like spam mail in an already full mailbox.
This is going to take more intervention than he thought. "You're ridiculous, that isn't true."
"You're just blind, and as you would say- 'you're too close.'" Robin rolls his eyes, Raven is sitting on her bed as Robin looks at her, standing.
"All I'm saying is-"
"I understand what you said, you don't need to repeat it. All I'm saying is-" He mocks, "- that it's highly unlikely she'd be interested in me." This time Raven rolls her eyes, he really is an idiot.
"How can I prove it to you- just ask her out. She'll say yes."
"I don't trust you, you have no proof."
"Fine. Don't believe me, but mark my words, if you wait too long she might settle for someone else. You heard her complain about being mobbed on Valentines day last year."
"Whatever, she didn't like any of them."
"Yeah, because she likes you." Robin glares at Raven as he walks out of her room to go train. Robin first saw her as annoying but she grew on him. He mistook his interest in her as friendship until Raven commented on his liking their latest addition without telling her. It went downhill from there, now it’s like he can’t get her off his mind.
He tried to deny it, reason a way out of the conclusion. Raven did her best to encourage him but she was getting nowhere, the entire team was frustrated because both refused to see what was staring them right in the face.  Beast Boy and Raven meet with Starfire after both Ladybug and Robin go back to their respective home cities.
"What did you the learn?" Beast Boy speaks up first, recounting his confronting Ladybug about it. 
"She's got it bad, thinks he and Raven are into each other." 
"Robin is convinced she doesn't like him. He doesn't want to get rejected so he refuses to ask her out."
"How can we tell him she likes him that he actually does the listening?"
"He'd only be convinced if he heard her say it." Raven reasons, knowing how blind and hard headed Robin is.
"There's no way she'll fess-up, she's too insecure. Even if we convinced her that Robin wasn't into you."
"I wish the little D could just hear her say it in passing. He would ask without fear and she'd get to date him without putting herself out there." Beast Boy can already see it, it’s the perfect plan. 
"I'm sure I could get her to talk about it in the hall, you could get him close enough to hear?" Beast Boy offers, it could work but they can't see each other.
"We'll use the hallways on the fifth floor, that are separated by a wall and meet towards the elevator?"
"Sounds great, Mama." Raven rolls her eyes at his nickname for her. Starfire looks between the two before abruptly standing, trying to hide her smile.
"Yes, well, I must attend to some dishes. Farewell." The two shared a look. Perhaps it isn't only Robin and Ladybug that need to come clean.
"We gotta say something sooner than lat-"
"I know, but not yet. We could use this to our advantage..." "Right? So I had to go all the way to the other side of the city to deliver this banner, it was worth it though. The skater friend won."
"Do they still race? You said this was a normal way to spend your weekend."
"O-oh well, I don't see them much anymore." Ladybug's shoulders turn inwards, looking to the floor. Robin hates the small frown on her lips, he knows better than to pry but maybe if he got some more information he could help.
"How come?"
"Just, time. Grew apart I guess."
"You're an awful liar."
"I take that as a compliment!" Ladybug defended, smiling slightly. "You see, while Mr.-Tall,-Dark,-Handsome,-and-Mysterious is making up lies he has to keep straight I'm simply seen as an airhead that forgets her phone everywhere she goes!"
"You're even worse at changing the subject." Ladybug's smile falters.
"Hehe, yeah, have you seen Star? She said she had the cutest picture of you asleep in your costume with some dog." Robin crosses his arms, why is she avoiding the subject?
"I have plenty of pictures of 'the dog' but please-" He pats the seat next to him on his bed, "-elaborate on this 'growing apart' situation." He isn't going to give in, he has that face he used to do during training when she was too tired to get up. Ladybug sit, plopping onto the bed her arms spread across the comfortable fabric of the duvet.
"I can't say much, just that they don't want to be friends with me anymore. None of them do."
"Who's none of them?"
"My friends. All of them, only one does but they 'can't' be my friend. He just doesn't have enough of a backbone."
"Surely you have other friends besides the mindless heathens."
"School and hero duties add up, I hardly have enough time to keep up with my jobs. I don't have time for that, and they could get suspicious, notice the patterns where my old friends would see the clumsy forgetful me." He nods, laying on his back and turning to look her in the eye.
"At least I have you guys." She smiles, brushing some hair from Robin's forehead. It feels nice.
"If it were up to me-"
"It isn't, and it's best not to dwell. Come on, bird boy, let's get a snack."
"Right, but none of that hot chocolate nonsense." She rolls her eyes, she'll get him to try it. One day.
"Are we sure this is gonna work?" Beast Boy is unsure, Raven hadn't seen the way Ladybug reacted, it was like no matter what he said her mind found some way to turn it into a bad thing, like she could only see the worst in a situation. It was completely unlike her.
"Yes."
"But-"
"No 'but's', this will give Robin the push he needs to ask her out. She'll say yes. End of story."
"Then why are we planning the the thing with the mo-"
"In case he's more dense than humanly possible and because it's time people knew."
"Right... I'll wait till ten minutes from now to get her to walk past, you have till then to get him there, we'll take two laps just in case." Raven nods before going to look for Robin. She finds him in the living room, reading a book. 
“Come.” Raven turns around and makes her way towards the elevator, he catches up and they ride to the fifth floor. They exit and hide behind the designated wall. 
"You are not to make a sound, simply wait and listen.”
They wait.
And listen.
It takes ten minutes for something to happen, the elevator bell rings and opens at their floor. Raven motions for him to stay quiet. Robin hears to footsteps as someone sighs.
"-How could I not? He's just so- dreamy."
"Ew. Why do you even like him? You're too nice for him."
"I am not 'too nice' and Robin is not mean... He's just... gruff- yeah, gruff, at first. But you should have seen how cute it was when we were talking about something and I was laying and he laid down next to me and there was hair blocking his eyes a little so I swiped it out of the way and it was so soft." She says it all in one breath which should be concerning if Robin’s attention wasn’t being taken up by trying to not freak out. His eyes wide, back pressed against the wall so as not to get caught. She keeps talking, he has to hear more.
She sounds so sure of her affection, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She likes him? Like to date? Raven is right? This is impossible, but it was happening. She’s ranting about things not even he notices about himself like they’re the most amazing things in the world.
"And have you seen him smile? And his laugh, it's one of my favorite things about him. And did you notice the way he always perks up when there's a happy animal on the television, like it reminds him of something- I'd bet he has an animal. I wish I could have a pet." They kept walking, she kept rambling about him, his hair, his smile, the way he walked. He heard the voices fade at she and Beast Boy kept walking.
"I told you." Robin didn't even have a response, she feels the same way?
"She likes me?"
"You've got to be joking, after all that, you still don't believe it?"
"Shut up, I'm processing." Raven crosses her arms, impatiently waiting, they'll loop back soon.
"She likes me."
"Just keep listening." Ladybug and Beast Boy came back into earshot. When they got closer, Beast Boy cut her off when she starts going off topic about his hair.
"So if he asked you out, what would you do?" Robin hears them stop, she makes a high pitched whine he knows means she’s flustered, she used to do it every time he glared her down and got a little too close, at the time, an unknown symptom of his attraction towards the heroine.
"I mean, if I could speak- I'd say yes but I'd probably freak out and fall or trip over my words. It doesn't matter, he wouldn't ask. Why in the world would he like me?" Raven has to remind Robin to stay quiet and hidden with a shushing motion and a hand to his shoulder. He stays in place despite the fact that he wanted to list every reason why he would. His stupid monkey brain thought of kissing her to drive his point home but shoos the intrusive thought away.
"Right, and what you'd kiss him?" It was like his teammate is reading his stupid, teenage mind.
"Pretending he liked me back? I mean, I could go on about his li-"
"Please don't." The bluenette laughs with him.
"Ah! I have to go meet Robin for training. Bye!"
"Later." The girl's footsteps disappear as the elevator door arrives and carries her towards the training room.
"Dude you better not say she doesn't like you again." Beast Boy sad, knocking on the wall to get his attention.
"Why don't you just ask her?"
"Yes, the little D, she will the gladly accept." Kor'i appears out of nowhere, he hates when she hovers like that. He can never tell where she is. He glares at them all, he’s late to meet with Ladybug. How in the world is he going to face her after that, it was so wrong to have listened. She hadn't meant for him to hear those things. Robin is filled with guilt as he walks into the waiting elevator and nears the training room. Ladybug is there smiling and slightly pink, likely from their teammate's questions.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes." He couldn't tell her he heard, she'll get embarrassed. He can't act on it either, she sounds busy enough as is. He would just be in the way.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." He snaps at her this time, the rest of their training session is silent. She leaves back to Paris as soon as her shift is over, not staying to speak with Robin like she usually does. No one is amused by his behavior.
"What the hell? You get the confirmation you've been needing to finally ask her out and you start acting like you hate her?" Beast Boy finally exclaims, Raven kicks him under the chair.
"It's none of your business, and none of you should have interfered. I was not meant to hear any of that, she doesn't have time for me anyways." Robin gets up from his seat and walks towards the zeta-tube.
After that, things get a little better. Robin isn't rude or snappy to her but they don't talk or have their little one on one training sessions. Ladybug does everything in her power to try and rebuild the bridge she didn't know had been burnt. She doesn't know what she did wrong, what she said, what happened made Robin want to avoid her like the plague.
Is he going to leave her too?
No. It doesn't matter that he probably put two and two together and knows she likes him, that he probably likes someone else, he is her friend at the very least, it might not be enough but it’s something.
Ladybug gathers her courage, waiting for him to pass the one place she knows she can get him. Waiting right at a corner, she hears him coming. She wants to laugh when he slows, always knowing when she tries to sneak up on him, but this time she holds it in. Reminding herself of why she’s there.
Just as he comes into range, she turns the corner and faces him. 
Her face is angry, no, pissed. Her eyebrows scrunched, a deep frown replacing the usual smile, she shoves a finger onto his chest. He always knew she was there but her expression, it’s hurt and angry and world ending- his world to be specific.
"What is your deal? What the hell did I do to you that you won't even talk to me anymore? What did I say? Why do you suddenly hate me?"
"I-"
"I mean, one day we're laughing and talking, and I tell you about what happened with my friends, and then the next you don't even bother to greet me!" She berates him in French, she gets more passionate about her speech until she's out of gas. At least, that's what he thinks.
“It’s disrespectful and hurtful! You don’t just drop someone because they did something to upset you, you try to fix it. You try to work through it!” 
"I-"
"What? You what? I told you about my friends, not only did I put a lot of trust in you for that- it could have pointed towards my identity if I slipped up. You're too easy to talk to. And don't you dare say that this is just how you are because we both know you've been off lately. So just tell me! Tell me you hate me, tell me you want space, tell me somethings wrong or that I did something but just don't shrug this off. You are too important to me to just let this go!" He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, why is she crying? Why does he have to make her cry? He doesn’t deserve her tears, her affection, he doesn’t deserve her. 
"I just- I think you can do better. I’m not a good enough companion." Robin refused to use the word friend, she isn’t his friend, she’s so much more than that. A rouge tear falls, her face incredulous.
"What?"
"You sound busy enough, you'd be better off spending your time with someone else." Robin doesn’t look her in the eye, it’s the honest truth but he can’t stand looking at her so upset. 
Ladybug is at a loss, that’s why he’s upset? Because he thinks she was wasting her time? That he wasn't good enough for her to spend her time with?
It’s like a switch flips, her anger melting away. Her jabbing finger falls.
"Who could be better?" She hugs him, Damian does have some experience from Grayson so he awkwardly returns the favor. The far shorter girl sniffles once before pulling back with a smile.
Robin feels a pang in his chest, he made her cry. She wipes away the unshed tears from the corners of her eyes, glad to have the mess over and done with. He vows never to do so ever again.
"I never wanna hear you say that you're anything less than the best, c'mon time to get your butt handed to you."
"Spar?"
"You wish." Robin sighed, she always beats him in video games. As they walk, the alarm blares. There’s an attack somewhere. The duo runs towards the living room, Starfire is already there with Beast Boy, Raven, and Kid Flash.
"We've got two. There's some kind of monster tearing through down town, we need to stop them."
"And the other?" Robin asks.
"Paris, akuma." Ladybug groans, like she always does. She runs off towards the zeta tubes with a wave goodbye. Time to deal with the mangy cat's puns.
Robin and the rest of the team walk back into Titan Tower expecting to see Ladybug waiting for them, she always gets back before them in situations like this. Kid Flash speeds off after grabbing his things saying he’s late to something, as usual. Beast Boy limps, most of his weight supported by Raven as they make their way towards the med bay. 
Robin and Starfire sit in the living room, she shows him photos of Dick in ridiculous sleeping positions or mid fall but Robin is on edge. Why isn't she back yet?
Of course, he gets an immediate answer. Ladybug's distress signal goes off, he and Star are off without a moment's hesitation. Jumping into the zeta-tubes, worry for their teammate clear. After over a year of working with her she’s never used the distress button. The machine powers up and blinds them, Damian jams a communicator in his ear and tunes in to the local news station. He hears where Ladybug is and he and Starfire set off in search for the girl. Paris is bright, people stop and stare as the heroes make their way towards the Eiffel tower.
Robin's mind is hyper focused and clouded at the same time, he knows he has to be at his best to help Ladybug so he shoves all that annoying emotion in a stupid box, shuts it, locks it, and pushes it into a dark little corner. They arrive at the lawn of the Eiffel tower.
Looking exhausted, Ladybug charges the villain. A blond boy in a black cat suit is flung at her with ease. The monster tries to throw a bus full of people at the two as Ladybug tries to get the boy off, he doesn’t seem to care, trying to hug the girl. Robin feels his chest tighten in jealousy.
Robin motions towards the bus, Starfire flies past and catches the bus mid air. The dark haired teenage boy is quick to lift the ill equipped partner he's heard so very much about off Ladybug.
"I believe she is trying to get up." He drops the boy to the side before offering a hand to Ladybug.
"Hello, again." Ladybug smiles up at him, taking Robins hand. Pulling her up, the two stand close together. Staring.
"Hi."
"Shall we get back to the task at hand?!" Starfire asks, mid battle with the monster when Ladybug and Robin snap back to reality. They join the fight, Chat sticks to the sidelines with a pout. The monster is tough, she only pressed the panic button in fear of the hostages being injured or killed. Even if they were physically healed by the miraculous cure it’s traumatizing.
The battle doesn’t last very long, the monster is extremely susceptible to Robin's ice capsules, and is no match for Kor'i's strength.
Ladybug is relieved when she sees the purified akuma flap away.
"Miraculous Ladybug!" The bluenette was able to use her lucky charm quickly enough, she'd say thank you before giving Tikki food and returning to the tower to finish her shift.
"Well done."
"Thank you, you weren't too bad yourself." Marinette smiles back to the far taller boy.
"Will you be returning to the tower? Should we wait for you?"
"You are the kidding, yes? We are in Paris! I'd like to go the shopping!" Ladybug laughed.
"With what money? My brother's card is rather telling. As is your own."
"I suppose you are correct."
"Don't worry, Starfire, we can go on a shopping day soon." The girl smiled.
"Yes, the little D, would you join us? Raven may join as well, yes, Ladybug? Girls day!"
"I do not qualify as a girl."
"Little D?" Ladybug asks, smiling softly before bursting into laughter. "I need to go help the victim and recharge. I'll see you back at the tower." Ladybug turns to leave but comes face to face with Chat. 
"What are you doing here? We don't need you." He directs his comments to both of the American heroes but mostly towards Robin. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose.
"We are members of the Teen Titans, we were asked to come. Now if you'll excuse us-"
"What? Who asked you to come here. My lady and I would never-"
"I did, and I am not 'your lady' you need to stop with the names and trying to distract me mid-battle, Chat.” 
“But-” Ladybug gives the mangy cat no time to explain, cutting in with no patience.
“No ‘but’s, you almost got us and all those hostages killed. Go. Home.” The tro of Titan’s walk away, it’s best not to give the boy anymore attention.
"We should do it now."
"What'd you mean? He's still acting like he can't stand her."
"No, they made up. I heard her yelling at him about it. He caved pretty quickly after that. We do it tonight, no more sneaking around and hopefully they get together." Beast Boy nods, watching Raven ice his ankle for him.
"Thanks, mama."
"... You're welcome." He smiles flicking some water on his girlfriend, she looks at him with a sad excuse for a glare.
"Alright, the ice should stay. Let's go see if she's back." Raven makes sure to keep Beast Boy off his ankle, quickly shooing him off to the empty living room couch. They don’t wait long for Robin, Starfire, and Ladybug to return.
"Thanks again for coming to help, guys." Starfire smiles. Robin nods.
"It was our pleasure, what shall we do now?"
"Movie?" Beast Boy asks, getting immediate yeses from the girls.
"I'll pass-"
"Come on." Raven complains, the guy can be such a pain.
"tt, no. That doesn't work on me."
"Pretty please?" Starfire asks. She pulls out the baby doll eyes and a pout.
"No, the physical appearance of the 'please' makes no difference-"
"Please?" Ladybug pulls out all the stops, she looks him right in the eyes, those big, blue, innocent eyes were so sad and pretty, she shuffles a foot, her hands behind her back. Her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly as her torso sways back and forth. His response is immediate.
"Yes." Ladybug grins in victory, Damian doesn’t get the chance to backpedal.
"Yay!" Starfire quickly steals Robin's usual seat. Raven and Beast Boy take up one side of the couch, Robin and Ladybug take up the other. Everyone bickers and argues over which movie to watch until Robin gets annoyed and plays one of the few movies he can bear. Lion King.
Throughout the duration of the film, Beast Boy slowly pushes Ladybug closer to him laying longways until he takes up the majority of the couch. Ladybug is squished against Robin, their arms pressing uncomfortably against each other. Deciding to test the waters, Robin wraps an arm around the Parisian's shoulder. The lights were off but the girl's blush is obvious. She has yet to move, he feels her glance in the opposite direction for a moment before leaning onto him.
Damian wasn't freaking out... Okay, Damian was only freaking out a little. He didn’t do well last time he saw she likes him. What should he do now? An annoying and sarcastic voice told him not to ignore her but they weren't much help. The little Grayson in Damian's mind told him to pull her a little closer, maybe kiss her head to make his intentions more clear. She still isn't aware of his affection towards her. He does the first, he could all but see the little Grayson smiling. Robin has no clue what to do next so he just does his best to watch the movie.
The lights come on far too soon, Ladybug doesn't move to get off him until she notices the lights turn on. She blushes that adorable shade of pink. That's when he sees it, just behind a blushing bluenette is Raven snuggling with Beast Boy as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. His brows furrow, his arm falls of Ladybugs shoulder. It was clear this isn’t a one time thing or anything of the sort. They know exactly what they’re doing, they’ve been seeing each other and she didn't tell him. After all the times he spoke about Ladybug, she didn't care to mention her own relationship.
Ladybug follows his line of sight, her posture goes from relaxed to tense.
To Marinette it’s like confirmation to something she knew all along, he likes Raven. Maybe he only wrapped his arm around her because of how squished they were. Which means she completely misread the situation and leaned onto him when he was just trying to be comfortable.
"I knew it!" Starfire exclaims, beaming. Raven just looks away trying or hide her small smile. Ladybug is happy their happy but Robin just walks away, his face neutral. She hates when he makes that face. Soon Starfire has to leave and Beast Boy hobbles to his room, ankle still tender.
Ladybug's overthinking keeps her in place, staring at her hands. She doesn’t even notice that Raven is still in the room with her.
"You should go talk to him."
"W-what? Me? No, he doesn't want to talk to me." Ladybug tried to say no but she couldn't help but be worried for Robin. Raven gives her a look, she relents.
"Fine." Ladybug drags herself to where she knows he'll be. He was always on the roof when he has to think. She mentally prepares herself for an undeniable, verbal confirmation that he doesn't like her, she forces herself to go- to be there for him.
"Go away." Damian is in no mood to deal with Raven, how could she not tell him?
"You can't get rid of a bug that easily, Rob." He chastises himself for being rude to Ladybug again, at least she doesn't sound upset because of it. She doesn't say anything, sitting next to him as they look over the brightly lit cityscape.
"Wanna talk about it?" He doesn't respond. The little Grayson, encouraged by the success of last time, tries to get Damian to hold her hand. Their hands were so close, just a few inches apart. That definitely isn't happening. "Right..." She trails off, not knowing what else to say. The silence grows, unchecked like a cancer.
"I- Just- Why wouldn't she tell me? After-" Robin was about to say too much but thankfully stopped himself.
"After what?" He’s relieved she’s still ignorant of his affection, putting himself out there like that’s a scary thought.
"Nothing. Nevermind."
"After you told her you like her." She speaks with such certainty, like she’s accepted it as fact. Is that what she really thought?
"What? No- I just- confided in her about something similar. I expected she'd do the same. She's one of my best friends." He sees Ladybug nod, that same look of  on her face.
"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. They probably just wanted to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell everyone." Robin had to admit she was probably right. He saw the way her hands fiddled and folded, she was trying to think of something to talk about, likely to distract him. She was always so considerate.
"So... girlfriend."
"Where'd you hear that?" He was so confused, the very idea is ridiculous.
"Well, you said you confided in Raven about something similar. I just assumed you had a partner."
"Oh. No." They sat in silence again, looking over the silent harbor. Damian gathers his courage, now is the perfect time- looking over a clear sky with the stars out. Isn't this the kind of situation girls daydream about? Now was the most likely time for her to accept. Deciding to just get it out, Damian starts speaking.
"Actually there's-"
"I know you probably don't-" Of course, just as Robin starts speaking, she does too. Alarm bells start ringing in his head, the little Grayson is trying to figure out what she was going to say while the rest of him starts freaking out.
They awkwardly laugh, looking away, Damian feels an unfamiliar little burning sensation on his cheeks. He’s loosing more of his nerve by the second.
"ILikeYou,LikeLikeLike." She just blurts it out, redder than her costume. Damian's head snaps to her with his lips parted. This is happening.
"I feel the same way. I- I apologize I didn't say so sooner I just- you said you were so busy already, I didn't want to become a distraction." Ladybug gives him a small smile, that was what that was about. She fondly wipes the hair from his forehead back, lacing her fingers through his hair. Her hand rested at the back of his neck, smiling. She looks so content, at peace.
"I see no issue in distractions."
"I suppose this is the part of the story where we kiss?" Robin puts a hand on the Parisian's cheek, inching closer. They move to close the gap until they were just a hairsbreadth away. Her eyes are so blue and so beautiful up-close.
"I suppose you'd be correct." Their lips meet, the beautiful night sky behind them- everything else melting away.
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formulinos · 3 years
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Hyperfixation Corner | Review: Jacques VIlleneuve's Private Paradise
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as a little celebration for my incredible mark of 300 followers, i wanted to do a very neat, very special hyperfixation corner! but since we're running on so little time and i'm very slowly doing my research for what i actually want to devote a long time, i decided to dive in the strange little world of jacques villeneuve for this small review of his 2007 cultural reset album "private paradise". i honestly am stunned. if you enjoy music, don't click in the jump after the cut tbh. but hey, you know you are curious to hear more about it!
(what the fuck! 300 followers!!!! thank you all SO VERY MUCH)
First of all, it's important to highlight that as much as this album SOUNDS as if it was done in 48 hours, it wasn't. Jacques started composing songs seriously (but as a hobby) in 1996, when he got into F1 (according to himself). He also took to himself to learn the piano in 97, so you know, he showed some affinity to music. In fact, as practically all three album reviews at the time will tell you, Seville Villeneuve was a piano teacher - hopefully not like Isabelle Huppert in that film - and taught it to Gilles, who also knew how to play the trumpet, very well if I say so. I'm gonna embed a video of it straight away because it's how I want to waste tumblr's one video rule:
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Very nice. Anyway, his son Jacques started properly composing around 2000, taking five more years to decide to record some of those during Christmas. The madlad actually liked what he heard and, to be honest, driving for Sauber, he had enough time to devote himself to make a full LP. He got his sister, he got a bunch of friends, and he did 13 songs that I will never be able to forget in my life. After realeasing his first promo single "Accepterais-Tu ?"during the 2006 Canadian Grand Prix weekend (more on that later), Private Paradise was released to the world, and I'm sure that the 233 copies that were sold were very well enjoyed!
note: honestly, although it's pretty clear by now this is not a good one, i would like to put out a disclaimer that my own taste in music sucks. i'm not like The Other Girls, i listen to indie music, like arctic monkeys XD i also didn't get Sour, i'm honestly not proud of it because olivia rodrigo seems very dedicated to her aesthetic and her work and i wish i could enjoy it but it's not my type. basically, don't take music refs from me and don't believe that bc i didn't like it it means that if you did your taste in music suck. also tag your taylor swift i'm tired of everytime she releases a song you guys find a way to make graphics and parallels w her songs. 
Track 1 - Foolin’ Around: The second the album started playing and I heard the claps, snakes started manifesting in my house. It's never a good sign when a song starts with the beat in a folk rock album, and the guilar strums confirmed it. It's... derivative, it's incredibly generic, the lyrics are as deep as when I tried to learn bass guitar when I was 13 because I wanted to start a band after I listened to "A Hard Day's Night". But here's the thing, I knew when to stop, and this song didn't. It goes for too long, and the decision to repeat the WHOLE FUCKING THING after changing the pitch and a weird ass guitar solo is horrid. TBH all the songs in this are weirdly long, the whole album clocks at 54 min. Jacques would legit have benefitted from the Streaming pattern nowadays of 2 min 30 secs songs. 
Track 2 - You Are: He thought he ate with his vocals here, he really did and it's even heartbreaking. If Foolin' Around shows he doesn't know where to stop, You Are is the first evidence he didn't even know where to start (singing lessons). As always, the lyrics aren't deep at all, but it doesn't even matter bc it's kinda entertaining to hear him feel himself over his long notes. He struggles so much they had to resort to backing vocals in the same volume as the main ones... Absolute highlight to me!
Track 3 - Father: OK, they got me on this one. In fact, Melanie Villeneuve is the MVP of this album. As the title says, this is the Gilles Tribute Song, and to be fair, lovely. Melanie's voice is incredible, she conveys the emotion perfectly and hey, I'm not gonna slag off Jacques for not singing as well with his sister when you know, once you read the song lyrics, you can tell it's equal parts trying to honour and love their dad while also kind of dealing with the feelings of resentment for him not being there and for sometimes racing too hard and having to share their own grief with the legends of F1 fans who lost an idol. Fair play. I miss Gilles.
"It's a very important song. It's the only personal song on the album. I don't write personal stuff and I don't want to sing personal stuff either, but this one, because it's with my sister, I'm quite happy doing it."
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Melanie singing 'Father' in the album launch, February 2007.
Track 4 - Tout Dire: Thankfully, Melanie's on-track involvement ends in Father and I can talk shit about Jacques in peace again. This one is iconic, tbh, he served it here. The whole gist of it is how some girl hurt routinely his feelings and he can’t act the same way as if nothing happened anymore. I think that his voice works better in French - barely but at least this song is more complex than the other two and feels less dated, or maybe French just matches the old people vibes of this album.
Track 5 - The Ones:  HONESTLY! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This album is such a flop that there isn't a digitalised booklet anywhere and I almost considered buying a copy so that I could get more info on who else was involved in making this, but no one is selling this in here. If there isn't a single listing of your album in Brazil, you flopped. Anyway, the woman singing in this is Ely Breton and you need to put some respeck in her name because she sang for Cirque du Soleil's Delirium spectacle short after this. Lovely gal. Hate the song.
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Ely killing the competition, same album launch in February 2007. There was literally one presentation of this ever and I beg them to #ReleaseTheVilleneuveCut
Track 6 - Accepterais-Tu ?: Jacques really listened to this once and said "I ended everyone's careers. This will be my lead single" and he thought it would be a good idea to release it BEFORE THE CANADIAN GRAND PRIX. This is where he lost the battle to Kubica, sincerely, if I was a backup driver I'd clown Jacques too. BMW Sauber probably talked to him after the German GP like "bruh honestly you can't come back. It's not because you're driving lazily and crashing the car all the time, it's because your song is complete wank". Even Steve Rider and Mark Blundell take the piss of him in this pre-race feature.
About the song itself: the thing about his French songs being more complex absolutely bites him back in the ass when he overdoes it. It's catchy, but in a way you wish brain bleach was a real thing and to make matters worse, he struggles SO hard with his vocals. If this was an IRL marriage proposal it would become a r/relationship_advice post in 2 months time.
Track 7 - Why Did You Come ?: IDK either dude. Again, it took me forever to find who is the milf singing in this with him and after quite a bit of googling, it seems to be Amélie Veille, who has a nice career it seems. Stream one of her songs instead. This one is completely forgettable and I got so tired looking for Amélie I forgot to write how I feel about it.
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Yes. February 2007.
Track 8 - Vaguement: This is so dramatic and pointless... I don’t get the violins.. the Spanish Guitar vibes... the weird ass music video.... the way it's so long but then when it ends you’re like “what? now???"........ who did this.... electric chair...... my behated.....
Track 9 - Lullaby: I don’t know what overtook me, probably the hatred for Vaguement, but this one… was not so bad. Honestly, this wasn’t as much of a chore and it even gave space for some theorising because if you listen to it (and you are totally in the right not to), it sounds more of an adieu to F1 than a standard love song. Might also be quarantine brain but I feel like I’m realising things here and Mr. Villeneuve lied when he said Father was the only personal song in this album. All good work he did here was thrown out the window when he struggle vocals during the guitar breakdown and I found myself thinking of the superior Lullaby by The Cure. 
Track 10 - Private Paradise: 
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It’s the title song and it absolutely fucks. Why lie for the tl? At this point I might have borderline Stockholm Syndrome but really, he looked camp in the eye and it looked back and they didn’t mind. He made an effort, it was cheesy and he embraced it. Let him have his little Coldplay moment! If there were more songs like this the album would have been more torelable. I absolutely hate how much I enjoyed this one
Track 11 - Étrangers: He bottled it but I am still under the effect of Private Paradise so I don’t even mind it. Again, another voice of an uncredited woman and unlike the other three, I can’t confirm nor deny who it is. I saw one single link that credited it to both Jacques and his half-sister Jessica (who if my math isn’t off was around 13-14 when they recorded it, such a prodigy!) but I failed to find anything on song credit databases.
Track 12 - Women Come Women Go: We get it Jacques you are sexist. I swear I laughed OUT loud at how he tried to rhyme “women” with “one man” KDJJSJSJJS PLEASEEEEEEEE not when the women featured throughout this mess didn’t save your day! Fuck off!!!!!
Track 13 - Mother Earth: FULL CIRCLE! THIS IS AS BAD AS THE FIRST SONG! If Lewis and Seb heard this ode to snow (Canadian or Swiss? It matters less than you think!) they would give up on all environment causes. Pair this with the Incel Manifest we just listened to and we can call it a Certified Jacques Moment. He’s so crazyyyyy I love him XD Oh, and the choir did their best!
Overall, I’m gonna grade this a 4/10 because I love Gilles. Basically, a 10 to all the women in this and a complete zero to Jacques. HOWEVER, I do have to cheer him on for the absolute balls it took to record this seriously and pursue his hobbies and while it does suck, again, I don’t think I would be able to do any better. Plus, it wasn’t just Jacques who went wrong here… several people listened to this and thought it was good enough to release it. Blame them equally!!! I think that if he did a sophmore album today, he would be better equipped. Good luck Jacques, don’t give up on your dreams and ignore the haters! To the rest of you lovely people that support me, thanks a lot and see you hopefully sooner than it seems! Screw you guys, I'm going home :D
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE
a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)
IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
uwu filo!iwa in this :)
and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song
this is my self-request uwu
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HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM
onwards we goooo
hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know
ANYWAYS
so,,,,
when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing
your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move
he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had
ehehe that finna change
then the,,,, bullying thing happened
if youd like to read this part, its right here
when he saw you bloodied, all battered,
dear lordie he was finna break some ankles
ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM
like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200
ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds
god you didnt deserve any of that
you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth
ooo he was so mad
miyo was,,,, hurt??
can i say that??
i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves
but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her
he ✨ B R O K E   S O M E   A N K L E S ✨
oiks is actually scared of him after that
like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were
‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’
oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name
he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl
he wanted to see you
like right now
iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office
there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor 
you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms
‘youre okay now. im here’
he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent
lavender mixed with peppermint
he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close
you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head
but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan
makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended
‘but what about me?! i want-’
‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’
ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team
he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead
he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him
just you two
like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his
‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’
you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice
‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’
your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart
maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you
a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest
and it wasnt for the whole team
it was for him
and him alone
the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand
iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time
they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile
he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened
he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling 
thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him 
iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside
tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk
there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it
however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,
there were many polaroids
polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room
iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it
from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes
your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach
‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’
iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes
this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room
this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime
from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most
it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime
your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him
‘youre really cool, iwa-san’
you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two
iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet
‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’
he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him
‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’
you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse 
but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around
‘take your pick’
you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window
inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half
they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references
opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses
then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that
‘OH MY GOD SORRY’
he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway
ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him
iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment 
how could he see you like that?!
a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!
a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly
‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’
you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you
the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall
but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food
iwa stood up and coughed
‘im going to take a shower’
you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth
‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’
he agressively shook his head
‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’
at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down
you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching
iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were
ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS
‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’
okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way
as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized
oh my god he didnt bring clothes
LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA
iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it
well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this
sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom
what is happening
you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him 
here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together
‘dont’
he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter
‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’
you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom
when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat
he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out
iwa rolled his eyes
‘yes yes let it out’
‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’
‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’
he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it
‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’
you waved and iwa felt offended
‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’
your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you 
of course being careful to not touch your wounds
you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off
‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’
he teased
‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’
you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again
you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves 
iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes
oh my god you were beautiful
he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there
forever
it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked
‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’
he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie
‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’
your jaw dropped
‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’
later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you
‘here’
you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization
‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’
you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look
‘ha?’
you shrieked in an another round of laughter
‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’
you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder
he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart
you figured out his secret
the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler
even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection
yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him
was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?
oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice
‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’
he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure
okay that hurted me a bit
iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout
‘iwa-san, dont do that’
you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm
but iwa patted your head
‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’
you rolled your eyes but smiled at him
‘hai hai’
the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you 
but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little
one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone
‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’
he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you
‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’
you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him
‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’
he nodded proudly
‘yep’
your eyes shone with interest
‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’
the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile
mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such
he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love
yet here he was
slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is
he continued to fall with the simplest things about you
from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone
little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision
now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace
it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting
then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks
iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry
‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’
then you busted through the gym door
you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked
they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms
iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again
the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck
‘im okay, iwa-san’
you whispered in his ear and he nodded
‘let me hold you for a second’
he mumbled and you nodded
‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’
the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first
iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you
‘i thought-’
‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’
you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been
and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind
the next time you came over, you actually met his parents
since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left
but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper
iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary
oof his parents were surprised
his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband
sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched
right?
‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’
then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner
you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting
oh my
so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome
his parents were freaking good looking
like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye
and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance
‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’
you mumbled, still staring at them
iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered
‘oh my!’
his mother placed a hand over her mouth
‘hello’
his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out
‘i’m hajime’s father’
you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands
‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’
you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees
iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents
‘ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’
she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you
‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’
even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying
iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets
‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’
‘t-taganese?’
‘tagalog and japanese’
you nodded in understanding
it was time to put your basic reserach to test
‘hello po’
you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go
her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!
‘i-i’
‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’
she shrieked 
‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’
okay im terrified
iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen
‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’
you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed
in their perspective,,,
‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’
ohmylord im nervous
initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie
not have a full dinner with his family
lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now
his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them
the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about
‘wow!’
you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact
iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest
‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’
you told him, looking over at his direction
while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise
he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata 
and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife
soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in
‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’
mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around
‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’
you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction
‘that one’
‘hah?’
you asked 
mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions
‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’
‘yes please’
the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in
maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass
once it was done, you both silently went back to eating
his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other
‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’
mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips
‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’
‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’
mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment
‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’
he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him
‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’
he sent you a betrayed glance
‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’
you shrugged, going back to your food
‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’
‘but you’ve seen me smile!’
‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’
‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’
mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile
hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around
yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house
and your eyes
god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love
her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same
then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there
you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed
‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’
‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’
her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say
after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room 
‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’
hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do
she was going to show him his baby pictures
you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover
‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’
stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him
‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’
you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed
‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’
he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded
‘okay. hajime, come help me’
‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’
‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’
hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around
his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps
she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color
mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades
‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’
he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change
yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it
she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips
‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’
now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home
so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused 
then he realized it
his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes
‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’
now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you 
definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now
‘iwa-san? you okay?’
you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream
‘hm, yea’
he answered to look at you
hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly
uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there
he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future
he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year
would you want to be so far away from him?
could you handle it?
‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’
you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky
‘what was it? something embarrassing?’
he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet 
‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’
iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather
‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’
were,,,, you reading his mind?
iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting
‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’
you finished and he hummed
‘times have changed, y/n’
‘even you?’
you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too
‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’
WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!
iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on
‘of course, i would’
your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes 
‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’
he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight
your body shook
‘do it, no balls’
well,,,, he has the balls
and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you
OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’
it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship
well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later
what can you say?
you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public
even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing
you were only caught by,,, guess who
mrs iwaizumi
it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends
she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing
oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming
you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys
and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall
‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’
you shrugged
‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’
but iwa had a hunch
‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’
oikawa shot him a disbelieving look
‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’
he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team
tbh they werent even surprised
like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’
they took it pretty well too
they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend
dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc
literally nothing changed
you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that
and the most important thing is,
he kept that promise
even when he was literally at the other side of the world,
he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return
OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people
a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for
his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile
‘uncle!’
she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms
‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’
she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her
‘nee-chan!’
she screeched
finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off
‘reyna, just dont do that again’
you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb
‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’
oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest
‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’
she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics
‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’
he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys
‘woooo!!!!’
kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters
tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept
‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’
‘oh can i?’
his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her
‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’
kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering
you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna
‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’
you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms
‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’
every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle
your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you
‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’
you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine
the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you
‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’
yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back
‘let them be happy’
‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’
‘eung!’
mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy
once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past
‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’
yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat
‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’
oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him
‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’
‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’
hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children
‘but-!’
they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat
‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’
you complained, remembering the frustration
your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you
‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’
you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again
that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again
‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’
you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that
‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘
you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm
‘hajime! stop!’
you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie
‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’
kyotani teased and you glared at him
‘shut up kyotani’
eyebrows were raised
‘eh? are you more hormonal?’
‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’
‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’
‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’
‘so,, like hes that good huh?’
hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba
‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’
okay what
one, did you just curse
and two, this baby?!
‘im big sister again?!’
reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued
‘WHAT!’
‘BABY?!’
‘THIS BABY?!’
you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water
‘oh the power i hold in my hands’
you teased and oikawa pointed at you
‘when! how long!’
you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead
‘apparently 3 months’
oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought
‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’
‘yep. both of them created under your house’
what 
!!!!!
hajime fainted 
oikawa screamed
a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him
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