bl0w-m3 - Tumblr blog

[bl0w-m3]

When I’m told I have my mothers eyes I wanna gouge them out

[bl0w-m3]

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️EXACTLY!!!!!

I’m SORRY MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENT FOR YOU!!!!

How am I supposed to get better all by myself.

No therapist will take me. And if they do they drop me within a month. Every time.

They don’t know how to deal with a comorbidity of the OCD, BPD, and PTSD.

They say THEYRE not equipped to handle it. I’m like what about me!!!!!! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!!!!

[bl0w-m3]

I just had to cancel a date because the mf was….boring.

AITA? He’s really nice and attractive, but I’ve been trying to talk to him for over a week and we can’t really talk. Like it’s just wyd and shit over and over again. He doesn’t ask me about myself, when I ask about him he’s very short and dry. Idk.

[bl0w-m3]

How am I supposed to get better all by myself.

No therapist will take me. And if they do they drop me within a month. Every time.

They don’t know how to deal with a comorbidity of the OCD, BPD, and PTSD.

They say THEYRE not equipped to handle it. I’m like what about me!!!!!! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!!!!

[bl0w-m3]

TW!!!!!!! SA!!! ABUSE!!!!

I was doing so much damn better. Then a memory of my father literally trafficking me to a pedophile popped up, and outwardly I’m cool I’m fine I’m going about my life, but internally I am NOT handling it well at all. I’m constantly anxious like this pit in my stomach that won’t go away. I can’t sleep and I won’t get out of bed in the morning until noon. I’ve stopped going to the gym. I’ve stopped eating as much. I have no sex drive.

I have no therapist because they all keep dropping me and I don’t know how to cope with it at all so any advice would be greatly appreciated

[bl0w-m3]

I hate when a random extremely traumatic memeory pops up for the first time. My brain has a big surprise and I do not like that.

[bl0w-m3]

Okay I know this isn’t my usual post but I’m really proud of this and wanna share is

[bl0w-m3]

Alabama: embryos are babies!!!

Me: oh so we can’t deport mother carrying American citizens?

Alabama: wait

Me: and men are on the hook for child support at time of conception

Alabama: NO NOT LIKE THAT

[bl0w-m3]

hey

I have a question about microdosing. can you give me some information? So how much you take, how it has changed you, is it a kind of rush or just peace in your head? I'm also thinking about starting it, but my previous LSD experiences were only at parties and in very high doses.

I would be happy if you answered <3

Hi babes!!!

I’m happy to answer any and all questions you have, but before we start I want to say I’m not promoting drug use for people who haven’t done the research!!! Psychotics are not for everybody and you have to be safe! Always test your drugs and dose accordingly!

I started off with mushrooms a few years ago just for fun and quickly found out they were much more than I was expecting. Much like LSD you get visual if you does enough (usually 2-3 + grams for visuals, .3-1 grams for microdosing) and that was fun, but it’s the sensations you get that make this such a wonderful option for depression and other mental health disorders. I call it “planet mushroom” but in no way is that a specific term, but i describe it as feeling as if you are living on a different planet where everything I’d the way it should be. Colors are more saturated, your senses are heightens in a way that’s not anxiety inducing, a feeling of content and calm just washed over, mixed with euphoria of just being alive and experiencing the beautiful world around you. Blankets seem softer, food tastes better, you want to tell the people in your life you love them, you want to love yourself.

You process thoughts in a completely different way. It completely reorganized how I thought of myself, how I thought about my position in life, helped me realize how to stay calm and get through hard situations because unfortunately, when you do go a little downhill on mushrooms it’s can spiral, but it’s never a suicidal spiral for me. It’s more of a universal callout, Mother Nature saying “this is fucked up and you need to get your shit together and you need to let that sink in”. They will make you want to be the best version of yourself. They are also almost like a caffeine boost, even in very small amounts. They wake you up, make you feel motivated and ready to do everything from go to work to the gym to laundry.

For me it’s caused a complete 180 in my patterns of thinking, me opinions of myself, my motivation, my everything. I personally have ocd that it kicks off the fucking map for hours sometimes.

I would like to say again, please nobody just jump into this by yourself without doing proper research. For beggining I always recommend the documentary “how to change your mind”, which in the US can be found on Netflix. There are also many studies online and ones being done at hospitals around the country/world! Be safe! Get better! Be you!!

[bl0w-m3]

YOU CAN GET FUCKING BETTER!!!! YOU GOT THIS SHIT!!!!!! KEEP GOING BITCH !!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!

[bl0w-m3]

Mushrooms have changed my life?????

I started microdosing and it’s changed my life completely. I started a month ago. I had done mushrooms to trip a few times recreationally and it always made me feel amazing for days afterwards. I wasn’t in pain, my depression was gone, my ocd almost ceased completely.

Last month I broke down. I was suicidal and my life was falling apart. I wasn’t taking care of myself at all, my health was declining. I started taking a gram a day. My ocd is basically gone. As soon as the thoughts pop up they’re dismissed and forgotten about. They don’t spark anxiety. I’m kinder to myself. I give myself room to make mistakes, time to let things change. My depression has lifted to the point I’m ready to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve gone to the gym every day for a month and it’s a new passion of mine. Instead of starving myself I’m eating high protein. My life has changed. Thank you mushrooms.

[bl0w-m3]

sorry i argue alot i tried to communicate but nobody listened to me unless i was being scary or harming them and now i have no other means of communication

[bl0w-m3]

it is absolutely horrid that someone may traumatize you to the point of it physically altering your brain and your mindset but, to them, they cant even remember it. it was just another fucking tuesday.

[bl0w-m3]

Found on Pinterest to bring you BPD information.

[bl0w-m3]

Every time I hear my phone I hope it’s you.

It never is. And it never will be. But hope is all I have left of you.

[bl0w-m3]

When you wanna hear from them so bad you hallucinate your phone going off :/

[bl0w-m3]

Hey! Just checking in! Do you still like me? Do you remember I exist? Are we friends? Do you hate me? Should I die?