#I know the behind the scenes. I know why you made the once-ler just some guy.

[cottonfluffswirl]

It's just that the lyric change from "some things" to "a few trees" really highlights the shift in tone overall that I imagine comes from a criticism of corporations being made by a corporation that was not being willing to take that step to show confrontation of the consequences of your actions and knowing destruction on the screen and instead opting for showing plausible deniability, not to mention the major vs minor key thing and the actual way the songs are structured and their tone and all I'm saying is that I think with near certainty that Biggering is indicative of what the filmmakers wanted to make and How Bad Can I Be is the watered-down version of it that's the 'safer bet' to release and The Lorax (2012) could have been SO much better.

[ticklishfiend]

Pure Gold (My Hero Academia)

Lee!Mina / Ler!Bakugou ⚠️PLATONIC⚠️

A/N : haven’t posted a fic in a while cause my laptop broke but hey!! i fixed it!! so here we go. i wanna make a sequel to this with the sleepover mentioned at the end, so if ur interested or have any ideas, lemme know!!

Summary: Mina catches Bakugou in a very incriminating circumstance, and of course, records it (cause how could she not). Unfortunately for her, Bakugou doesn’t think this is as funny as she thinks it is, but decides to make her laugh with his own methods anyways.

Word Count: 3084

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED, MWAH <33 xoxo

. . .

Mina rolled onto her right side for what had to be the millionth time tonight, nothing ever feeling comfortable enough to just loll her into the right sleepy headspace she needed to get some goddamn shuteye. She’s never really had many problems with falling asleep before, so why tonight she had to be burdened with this temporary insomnia was beyond her. 

Mina threw her arm out behind her back towards her bedside table, fingers fumbling around for her phone before finding it connected to the charger. Detaching it from it’s plug, she brought it towards her, face flinching at the sudden brightness before her eyes adjusted to the light. She groaned as she scanned over the time, 1:02AM, far later than she would typically still be awake. Sure, it was Friday so she didn’t have any classes to worry about the next day, but it was still frustrating to get off her normal sleeping schedule so suddenly and for seemingly no reason. She had to fix it soon before she pulled an accidental all-nighter.

Whining and groaning the whole way, Mina threw her legs out over the side of her bed, dangling her feet for a moment before slipping them into her cute fuzzy panda slippers she kept on her bedside. The girl figured her best bet for now would be to drink one of the soothing teas that Momo kept lying around in the kitchen for anyone to use. She dragged herself towards the door, allowing her arms to stretch over her head with a yawn before grabbing at the cold metal door handle and slowly creaking open the entrance. 

She was careful to be quiet, turning the handle before shutting the door as to avoid any unnecessary clicks. She’d be damned if she made any of her light-sleeper classmates go through the same sleepless night she was currently going through by waking them up so late in the night. She walked heel to toe through the carpeted hallway, finding her way to the elevator finally and breathing a sigh of relief as the doors closed without a dinging sound.

After what felt like a treacherous journey, she finally made it to the corner that would lead her to both the kitchen and common area. But, before she turned the corner, she saw a light illuminating off the walls coming from the commons. Her brow quirked, not expecting any type of light to be shining from the area.

No worries, she thought. If someone accidentally left a light on I’ll just turn it off real quick so no one gets in trouble, easy peasy! She finally made it around the corner when it finally dawned on her where the light source was coming from in the first place; the TV.

Her eyes met the muted TV that seemed to be playing a...romance anime? The subtitles were on and the volume was completely turned off, so whoever had been watching it was obviously aware of how late it was and was trying to stay quiet for the rest of the class like Mina had been.

The pink girl watched the screen for a moment, reading the subtitles to find that one of the characters had apparently just confessed their love to someone else in some heroic fashion. It was super cute, and she’ll definitely have to look up whatever this is so she can watch it in her own time. Before she could make her way towards the action to turn the TV off, however, she heard...is that…?

...sniffles? 

She paused, her ears perking up at the sound just in case she had imagined it. Then, no more than 3 seconds later, she heard it again. Sniffles, this time accompanied by a little groan of what sounded like endearment. This is so cute, she thought to herself, bringing her hand to her mouth to cover up any giggles that dared to escape. Someone’s crying about a romance anime right now, and it definitely sounded like one of the boys too! There’s no way I can’t find out who this is.

As quietly and sneakily as the acidic girl possibly could, she made her way towards the back of the couch, crouching down just slightly as to not alert them with her shadow. She finally allowed her eyes to peer just above the top of the cushion aaaand…

…

BAKUGOU?!

Mina could hardly believe what she was seeing. Was she complaining? Absolutely not, this was pure gold, it was just surprising! THE Bakugou Katsuki, curled up on the corner of the couch swaddled in a fluffy All Might blanket, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes with an actual smile on his face. He stuffed his mouth with popcorn before wiping his tears with the corner of his printed blanket, muffling a small “Finally,” into the fabric. 

There was no chance in hell Mina was going to miss this golden opportunity.

Like a spy, Mina quickly but quietly snatched her phone from the pocket of her sleep shorts, opening the camera before pressing record. She zoomed in on the romantic scene displayed on the screen, before slowly panning down to the still sniffling Bakugou, the light from the TV bright but his smile even brighter. She hit the off button before stuffing the phone back in her pocket with a grin, quietly making her way towards the kitchen.

She went to take a mug out of one of the top cabinets, purposefully shutting it louder than she needed to to alert the blonde on the sofa. He jumped at the noise, whipping his head around towards the girl before throwing his arm towards the coffee table to snatch the remote and turn the TV off with force.

“Why the fuck are you in here, Pinky?!!” Bakugou whisper-shouted from across the room, and though the light from the TV was now gone, Mina could just tell he had to be blushing from embarrassment. She grinned widely.

“Oh, y’know, couldn’t sleep,” She smirked, not looking Bakugou’s direction while filling her kettle with tap water. “I’m guessing the romantic buildup had to be pretty intense to make THE Lord Explosion Murder shed a few tears, huh?”

Bakugou froze before his body started to shake with anger, launching himself over the back of the couch and lunging towards Mina, grabbing her by the shoulders and digging his fingers into the flesh aggressively. He was seething, his jaw clenched and eyes white with anger, and though Mina was a little shaken up when he initially grabbed her, she couldn’t help but giggle when remembering what she had just seen moments ago.

“I WILL KILL YOU, YOU ALIEN FUCK!” He almost-shouted, and it was obvious he was still cautious of waking anyone up so Mina wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about what she had witnessed. “You keep this shit to yourself, got it?! Cause I’m not scared to fucking kill you!”

“Oh I know that, Blasty,” she smiled up at him, unable to suppress another giggle. “It’s too bad I got your little cry-sesh on camera then, huh?”

Bakugou’s face fell, his eyes wide before he squeezed even tighter into her shoulders. “You...you WHAT?!?!” Mina had meant to let out another laugh at his expense, but it turned into a yelp as she was aggressively hoisted up over his shoulder. 

Mina kicked and laughed, hitting at his back to no avail as he stomped towards the couch and unceremoniously threw her down onto it, pinning her against the cushions, her hands now laying flat underneath his knees that were thrown over her waist.

“Woah, take me out to dinner first!” Mina’s eyes were wide as she let out a nervous chuckle. She tugged at her hands, but they weren’t going anywhere under his weight. She even tried kicking a little against the cushion, but yet again, nothing.

“Not into you like that, Pinky,” He aggressively pointed towards her face, the angry scowl never leaving his now wrinkled expression. “And you’re gonna delete that fucking video, got it?!”

“Are you kidding me?! I could never delete that! It’s gold and you know it!” Mina exasperated, shocked he could even consider that a possibility. 

“NO IT’S FUCKING NOT!” He whisper-shouted into her face, moving his hand even closer to her face until it booped her nose, her eyes crossing down to look at it. “Delete it, Horns...or I’ll fucking make you.”

Mina uncrossed her eyes and looked up to Bakugou, whose face remained angry and undeterred. She sighed, “Ok, first of all, they’re not horns; they’re antennas. Secondly, you were too cute in the video to delete it! I’m sorry, Baku, but I can’t do that.”

Bakugou just grunted, moving both of his hands down now to grip at her waist, making her eyes widen with a sudden knowing fear. “I am NOT cute, and you WILL delete that fucking video, Pink-Fuck! You always give in to this shit,” Bakugou couldn’t help the smirk that rose on his face as he squeezed her sides once, making her jump and yelp.

“Nohoho! Bakugou, please, not thihis!” Mina couldn’t help the giggles that left her lips even if he hadn’t properly done anything yet. It was just the knowing of what was to come that caused nervous laughter to bubble from her chest and into both their ears.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, moron,” Bakugou said, eyeing down at her waist before noticing the phone-sized bulge in her shorts pocket. He smirked, reaching down and pulling it from its hiding spot. He looked at the screen before huffing, turning it to face her eyes. “Gimme the code. Now.”

“No way! You’ll just delete the video!” Mina said before yelping with another jerk as he pinched at her side again. “Dohon’t!” He sat her phone down on the arm of the couch before wiggling both his hands over her belly, the sight alone making her shriek and let out a flow of giggles.

“You’re gonna wanna give me that code, loser,” Bakugou grinned, jerking his hands down towards her stomach without touching her and bringing them back up, making Mina jerk aggressively with another yelp. “I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already freaking out! This is gonna fucking suck for you if you don’t let me delete that damn video!” 

Mina just pursed her mouth shut tightly, shaking her head “no” while letting little huffs of suppressed laughs escape from her nose. Bakugou just sighed, raising his wiggling fingers just slightly higher before a wide, sadistic grin cemented itself to his face.

“You asked for this.”

Before she had time to retaliate, wiggling fingers came down to pinch up her sides and into the dips of her ribs, sending her into a cackling fit. She kicked uselessly from behind him, tugging at her trapped hands to no avail.

Bakugou used his right hand to dig his fingertips into the bottom of her ribs, while skittering his other nails over her quivering belly. She sucked her stomach in as much as possible, but with each laugh it was brought back up, practically tickling itself on his fingers.

“Bakugohohou! Plehehease! Nohoho!” She squealed, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as he continued his relentless but playful torture.

“No what?” the blonde teased, using his index and middle fingers to vibrate into her tummy. She let out a shriek at that, jerking violently while trying to smush her face into the cushion beside her. “Ohoho, that bad, huh? Pretty effective method if I do say so myself,” Bakugou then used his two fingers on each hand to vibrate into her lower ribs, a spot he knows all too well is absolutely unforgiving. She screamed at this, shaking her head side to side as laughs poured from her gut. “I always get what I want, Pinky, and this isn’t gonna be any fucking different.”

Mina couldn’t help the loud shrieks and squeals that left her body, tossing herself from side to side with no effect whatsoever. “GAHAHAHA! Plehehease! It tickles too muhuhuch!”

“Not my fucking problem,” Bakugou went back to his squeezing method from before, this time bringing one hand down to pinch at her hip. Mina jolted at the touch, screaming and cackling at his relentless squeezing. “The code, moron, lest you forget about what got you here in the first place.”

“Nehehever! I cahahan’t!” she laughed before gasping in a breath of air as his hands let go of her body for a moment. She hesitantly opened one of her eyes to look at her tormentor, who was yet again wiggling his fingers over her tummy. She shut her eyes again tight at the sight, a new bout of giggles leaving her from anticipation. “Nohoho!”

“You can never handle being teased, can ya?” Bakugou grinned, before bringing both his hands back down to lift up her nightshirt up to her bottom ribs.

“No! No no no! Please! Bakugou, let’s talk about this!” Mina spluttered out nervously, opening her eyes to see him just ghosting his fingers over her still quivering belly. She tossed her head back with a giggly whine, kicking her feet behind him like a child in a tantrum.

“Nope. You had your damn chance, and you blew it,” He smirked devilishly, bringing his fingers down to gently skitter over her now bare belly, dissolving her into a fit of high-pitched giggles. “Now you’re gonna get-” BZZZ! BZZZ!

Bakugou paused his previously wiggling fingers, his head whipping up and eyes making contact with the now buzzing phone resting on the arm of the couch. He groaned when he read who was calling on Mina’s FaceTime, resting one hand on his knee while reaching out and swiping the phone from it’s resting spot (though his knees were still pressed firmly against Mina’s trapped hands- he hadn’t yet planned on stopping her torment.)

Bakugou pressed the bright green button on the screen and stared blankly at the dark screen as Denki answered. The boy had obviously been trying to sleep, evident by the fact no lights were on in his room.

“Bakugou?” The boy asked groggily on the other end, and even though Bakugou couldn’t technically see his face, he knew he had to have the dumbest expression printed all over it.

“Yes, what the hell do you want Pikachu?” Bakugou growled at the screen.

“Can you tell Mina to quit screaming? I could tell it’s her, her laughs are always the same; just so fuckin’ loud,” Denki chuckled, and Bakugou could hear his sheets shuffling. “What’s got her laughing so hard anyway? You aren’t exactly the funniest person on the planet.”

“I’M FUCKING HILARIOUS YOU DUNCE!” Bakugou shouted angrily into the phone, gripping it tightly as Mina just prayed he wouldn’t crush it with his pure fiery rage. “And that’s none of your fucking buisness!” Bakugou paused, looking down at Mina who had a sheepish grin on her face. He sighed. “She’ll be quiet now. Just go to sleep so you aren’t dumber tomorrow than you usually are,” Bakugou huffed, hanging up without allowing the blonde on the other end to get any word in. 

The explosive teen threw Mina’s phone down beside her on the couch, hoisting himself off her with a scowl on his face and a roughness to his movements. Mina couldn’t help but feel a little guilty as he jerked his blanket out from under the girl aggressively and began making his way away from the couch. She quickly sat up and snatched his wrist, pulling him back slightly and making the boy grunt, looking back at her with tense brows.

“How about a compromise?” She proposed, a small grin on her face. He looked at her through squinted eyes for a moment, questioning her request. Finally, he rolled his eyes with a huff.

“Hit me with it,” he didn’t look at her in the eyes, but she celebrated internally at the fact he wasn’t too visibly angry at her.

“I’ve got a sleepover tomorrow with all the girls, and we’ve been dying for a special guest,” She bit her lip with a cheek-tearing smirk as his brow somehow managed to furrow even deeper. “Hang out with us for just a few hours tomorrow night; you don’t even have to sleep over, just stay for the fun parts. I’ll delete the video as soon as it’s over.”

He continued to stare at her questioningly, obviously not convinced nor happy with this compromise. She needed to give him more.

“I promise I won’t show a soul the video if you promise to go tomorrow. No one will even know it existed before it’s already gone,” she said, before deciding to finally pull out the big guns. She pouted out her bottom lip and lowered her wide eyes, eyebrows piercing upwards like a sad puppy. “Pleeease Bakugou? I promise it’ll be fun!”

He paused, staring at her sad little face and feeling himself go slightly soft inside while staring at his friend. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and jerked his arm out of the girl’s grasp with a loud groan.

“Fine...as long as this shit stays between us...I guess I’ll go,” Bakugou nearly whispered the last part, as if the words had to crawl their way out of his throat while being tied down from his sheer stubbornness alone. 

Mina couldn't help the shriek of excitement she let out, her mouth quickly getting covered by Bakugou's large calloused hand while his other planted an index finger on his own mouth towards her. “Shut the fuck up Pinky, we already woke Dunce up!” She just smiled behind his hand, nodding up and down quickly.

Bakugou let out a sigh as he moved his hand from her face, using his fingers to squeeze at the bridge of his nose. “You are so fucking annoying, y’know that?”

Mina just giggled, standing up and giving Bakugou a hug so quick he couldn’t pull away from it. He stood in shock for a moment, before shoving her shoulder and making the girl fall back on the couch with an oof! followed by her giggles. He just rolled his eyes with a, “Tch,” throwing his blanket over his shoulder and walking towards the hallways.

“Night, Blasty! Get ready for the night of your life tomorrow!” She whisper-shouted towards the exiting boy, who only flipped her off as his body finally disappeared into the shadows of the shared hallways.

. . .

A/N : hope you enjoyed!! i didn’t rlly proofread this so if it’s terribly written i apologize lmaoo, again if ur interested in a part 2 lemme know!!! much love <3 xoxo

[trashyswitch]

In a Lee Mood? Ask Logan!

Janus and Remus are in Lee moods. One is shy, the other is confident. When Remus finds them a ler, Janus must learn how to gain the courage to ask for tickles. Otherwise, he won't get them.

This fanfic was suggested by @ashleedragon on Tumblr.

Here

I hope you enjoy Ash! :D

Janus and Remus were struggling majorly in the lee department. They were talking about how much they really wanted to be wrecked, but didn’t know who exactly to go to. They wanted someone confident in their goal, and someone who can tickle both of them at once, if possible. Finally, Remus had had enough.

“That’s it! We need to head to someone NOW. And I know just the person!” Remus declared, standing out proudly.

“Who? I’m not intrigued whatsoever.” Janus asked.

“Logan! He’s smart, confident in himself, and he knows how to use tickle tools! He is a MASTER of tickling, I know that for sure!” Remus declared.

“I...Oh…” Janus started curling up, blushing in pure embarrassment. “Okay…”

“Come on!” Remus begged, grabbing Janus’s hand.

“Nooooooo! Let me sit alone in my lee mood like a good boy!” Janug begged.

“But I know you want the tickles just as much as I do!” Remus argued. He huffed. “If you don’t get up, I will bring Logan to us and you’ll have no choice but to face him.”

“Then I’ll act like a little shit.” Janus said with his tongue stuck out.

Remus smiled. “Good.” he said before exiting the room. “OOOOOH LOOOOGAAAAAAN~” Remus yelled to the hallway.

Janus whined and covered his ears as Remus called and called for Logan. Janus didn’t wanna take Logan away from his activity to come and tickle him, of all things. He felt embarrassed about his lee mood as it was. He didn’t need Remus standing up for him and getting them both a ler to make his lee mood go away. Maybe he liked being in a lee mood! What if it actually makes him distracted for a while? What if he likes watching scenes and cowering like a baby in the corner?

...He really doesn’t...It was just a hypothetical.

Janus looked up at Logan as he walked into the room. “Greetings Janus. I hear you two are in need of something rather immediate?” Logan clarified.

“Only if you want to, of course.” Janus said to him, blushing.

“Of course! It is my job to try and organize better strategies for satisfactory reasons with Thomas. And if that involves helping someone, or a couple sides out, then I will happily do so.” Logan told him.

Janus smiled and looked down. “You don’t need to do that…” Janus muttered with an embarrassed expression.

Remus giggled. “Poor Janus! He’s been acting like this all morning! I feel he deserves some teases and jokes, don’t you, Logan?” Remus teased.

Janus whined and covered his face.

“I don’t know...I’m not an emotional person, but it does look like he’s rather more red than usual…A little like a tomato or a cherry…” Logan teased with a smirk on his face.

“Exactly!! That’s what I was thinking!” Remus reacted.

Logan looked at Remus. “Hmm...And didn’t you say you were in the same mood?” Logan asked.

Remus nodded. “You betcha!” He replied proudly and lifted up his arms.

Logan looked at Janus and back at Remus. “Okay. Looks like I’m going here first.” Logan went for Remus’s exposed armpits first, earning him a squeal and a giggle. “Oooooh, This is a good spot, if I do say so myself.” Logan teased, looking at Janus from the corner of his eye.

Remus giggled as his hands were grabbed and pinned above his head. “Ohohoho geheheheez…” Remus giggled.

“What’s the matter, Dukey? Getting a little nervous?” Logan teased.

Remus nodded. “Very.”

“Very well. I suppose I can get this-” Logan paused his words and started tickling Remus’s open armpit.

“EEEEEEHEHEHEHEK! LOHOHOGAHAHAN YOHOHOHOU AHAHAHASS!” Remus laughed.

“Oh? Since when am I a bottom?” Logan asked.

“SINCE NOHOHOHOW!” Remus decided.

“Nothing is wrong with being a bottom, Remus. However, I do have a slight problem with being a lazy bottom. I prefer to be quick, yet precise with my movements. An example: My strategizing associated with my attacks right now!” Logan explained.

Remus laughed and looked over at Janus, who was embarrassed and slightly jealous. “GEHEHEHEHET JAHAHAN, WHYHY DOHOHON’T YAHAHA?!” Remus asked.

Logan giggled. “But you asked first! And besides: I want to keep tickling you! You’re rather fun to tickle!” Logan admitted.

“AHAHAM IHI?” Remus asked.

“Yes! Indeed you are, my evil ticklish friend.” Logan teased.

Remus blushed at that. “AHAHAHAM NAHAHAhahahat!” Remus felt as Logan’s tickles moved down to his upper ribs and ab muscles.

“My goodness! I must admit, I am rather impressed by your abdominal muscle size. It is a little stronger and very well kept compared to Roman’s abdominal six pack.” Logan reacted.

“HEY!” Roman shouted from another room.

“HEHEHE HAHAHAS A POHOHOHOINT!” Remus yelled back.

“SURE HE DOES, MR. GAGGLES.” Roman spat back.

Remus giggled and shook his head. “Meheheheheheanie…” He muttered.

“I know...But he doesn’t understand the true love for tickling as much as you do.” Logan joked.

“Truhue! Yohohohou gehehet ihihit!” Remus mentioned.

“Indeed I do.” Logan replied, looking at Janus.

Janus was looking away, trying not to watch the tickles he really wanted.

“Awww, it looks like Janus really wants tickles too. Should I give them to him?” Logan asked.

“If you want to, sure!” Remus reacted.

Janus lifted his head a little, in hope.

But Logan shook his head with a smirk. “He can tell me if he wants to.” Logan told Remus.

Janus groaned.

“Is something the matter, Janus?” Logan asked.

Janus muttered something, but it was too quiet to hear him.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t hear you. Can you repeat that?” Logan asked.

“Iwantyoutoticclemeeee…” Janus muttered again.

“I’m so sorry...Now you’re saying it too quickly! Can you please repeat-”

“I WANT TICKLES!” Janus yelled.

Logan widened his eyes and giggled. “Nohohow you’re too loud! May you please repe-”

“DAMN YOU LOGAN!” Janus shouted. “JUSTGIVEMETHEMALREADY!”

Remus was laughing at this point. “WOHOHOHOW! HEHEHEHE’S PIHIHIHIHISSED!” Remus laughed.

Logan was chuckling. “Ihihi know! All that just for some tickles!” Logan reacted.

Janus growled and started to walk away. But Logan stopped him. “Come on Janus. Lighten up a little. I’ll tickle you. I’d love to tickle you!” Logan told him.

“W-Will you? P-P-Please?” Janus begged.

“Sure!” Logan replied.

Logan gently grabbed Janus’s hand and led him down to the carpet. “Remus, come here too.” Logan encouraged them. Remus nodded and followed them to the carpeted floor. Logan kneeled down while Janus and Remus both laid down onto their backs.

Janus smiled as his blush deepened. “Thank you. And...sorry about the outburst. I was definitely put together.” Janus apologized.

“It’s alright, Jay. Now lay back...relax…” Logan gently closed both their eyes and used his conjuring abilities to conjure up some blindfolds onto their eyes. Then, Logan tickled Janus’s sides first.

“HAHAHAHA! Hehehehehey! Ihihihihi’m fihihirst!” Janus reacted.

“Of course you are! Why would I go for Remus first when he already got some of his tickles?” Logan asked.

Janus shrugged his shoulders as he did everything in his power to not move his hands away. He feared that if he did, then Logan would stop and move back to Remus.

“Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle~” Logan teased.

“Whyhyhyhyhyhy?” Janus asked.

“Because it’s fun! And I know that the teasing adds to the tickles tremendously.” Logan added. “And you seem to enjoy the teases!”

Janus covered up his mouth. “Ihihihi dohoho nohohohohot!” Janus reacted.

“Take away the word ‘not’, and you’ll have my response.” Logan told him.

Janus shook his head. “Uhuhuhunfahahahair!” Janus told him.

“Unfair, huh?” Logan clarified. “Let’s see how unfair I could be then.” Logan stopped tickling Janus and started tickling Remus again.

“Ohohokahahahay! Greheheheat! Mehehehe ahahagahahain!” Remus reacted.

“Yup! It’s you again, Remus.” Logan replied.

Remus giggled and rolled back and forth on the carpet while Janus was watching with annoyance. “Come on, Logan! Can’t you do us both?” Janus asked.

Logan giggled. “Only if you say please.” he replied.

“Fine...Can you please tickle us both?” Janus asked.

Logan nodded and gave him a hand. “Sure!”

Logan wrapped his arms around Janus and Remus from behind, and started tickling both of their bellies.

Remus and Jaus were both giggling, wiggling around and loving every minute of it.

“Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle, my little lees~” Logan teased. “That’s the right word, right?” Logan clarified.

Remus bursted out laughing more at Logan’s question. “YEHEHEHEHES! IHIHIHIT IHIHIHIS!”

“Good, good.” Logan moved down to their lower bellies, earning snorts from Remus and squeaks from Janus. “How about here? Does it tickle more here?” Logan teased.

“YEHEHEHEHEHESS! *snort* IHIHI- *snort* -IHIHIT DOHOHOHOES!” Remus laughed.

“EEEEEEK! YEHEHEHEHES! EEEEHEHEHEHE- IHIHIT TIHIHICKLEHEHES!” Janus laughed as well.

“Ooooooh! I wonder which belly button is the more ticklish of my two lees…” Logan asked out loud. “Remus’s?” Logan poked his belly button.

Remus gasped and squeaked SUPER loudly! “NUUUUUUUHOHOHOHOHO!” Remus screamed!

Logan giggled at the reaction. “Or Janus’s?” Logan asked before poking Janus’s belly button next.

Janus wheezed and clapped his hands a few times. He was shaking his head as he silently laughed, occasionally falling out of quiet laugh and into screeches and cackles!

“Well I see we have our answer!” Logan reacted. “Janus has a more ticklish belly button.”

Janus pushed at Logan’s hand and threw his head back as he kept on cackling like a wild man.

Logan loved seeing them laugh like this. It was surprisingly really fun making them laugh! And it was even fun teasing Janus to oblivion while he tickled Remus and made comments. Even the word tickle was enough to make the boys die of laughter.

Though, his fingers were just as useful too.

Logan decided from then, on to be their ler for when they were in strong lee moods. Remus was over ecstatic like a child over it, while Janus was happy about it but showed it in a more casual way. Logan gave them both a hug, a few more tickles and a farewell as he left the two boys alone.

“So: Would you say that was worth the embarrassment?” Remus asked with a smug smile on his face.

“...........No.” Janus replied.

Remus bursted out laughing at the reply. Such a Janus thing to say!

[tk-writer]

Jealous. [Haikyuu!! - Tsukkiyama]

Tsukishima fights an intense ler mood at practice one day when he sees Yamaguchi and Nishinoya messing around.

Word count: 2693

hi there! i stole this idea from That One Scene in the baseball anime Ookiku Furikabutte (Big Windup!) i’d link it here but of course i can’t find the post with the video kajsfhajks. anyway, here’s tsukishima with a Phat(™) ass ler mood & cute boi Yamaguchi as tribute. enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsukishima could barely focus during practice that day, and it was all Yamaguchi’s fault.

The blonde barely uttered a word that afternoon, even when his fellow teammates addressed him directly. They figured he was finally taking the game seriously for once, not wanting to get left behind as the rest of them soared to greater heights. But in truth, volleyball was the furthest thing from his mind.

His thoughts - and his heart - were set on his childhood best friend, whose antics that day made it impossible to focus on read blocking, on spiking, on anything. All because of that stupidly infectious laugh of his.

While Tsukishima was taking a quick break, his steely eyes fixated on his freckled friend as he got ready for another round of serving practice. Lately he'd been flopping most of his jump floats, so today he had dedicated almost all of his time to perfecting them. He was working harder than almost anyone else, which earned him Tsukishima’s respect even though he never said it aloud.

However, instead of heading to the court to take his place, Tsukishima saw him walk towards Nishinoya with cheeks ablaze. His ears perked up as he caught the tail end of their conversation, finding it difficult to pull his attention elsewhere.

“Hey, uh… Nishinoya?”

“What's up?”

“Can you… umm… do ‘it’ again?”

Nishinoya tilted his head in confusion, but beamed with joy when he realized what Yamaguchi was asking.

“Ohh, you want me to do ‘it’ to help you relax?”

“Uhm, y... yes, please!”

“Alrighty! Lift up your arms! Hehehe…”

Tsukishima had a gut feeling about what was coming next and turned away before anyone could notice the blush creeping across his own cheeks. 

A couple seconds passed before an all-too familiar laugh rang out through the gymnasium, capturing the attention of all but one blonde haired blocker who refused to look. An unfamiliar emotion swirled in the pit of his stomach, one he couldn't put a name to until much later when the two of them were alone.

“-Aheeheehaha! Gaaaaah!”

“Stop moving around so much! You’re making it difficult!”

“I cahahahahan’t!!”

Their fun was soon interrupted by the team captain, who was less than pleased to see his juniors messing around once again. As soon as the two underclassmen heard Daichi’s stern voice yelling at them from the court, they froze up and stood at attention.

“Stop fooling around you two! Yamaguchi, get out here and serve already!”

“Right! Sorry!!”

The pinch server regained what composure he could before racing out to the court while Nishinoya zoomed over to the other side. Tsukishima watched in disbelief as his friend took a deep breath, got a running start, and then successfully completed a perfect jump float, one that even Nishinoya couldn’t receive. 

So that ‘it’ thing really worked, huh? He tried his best to fight the smile creeping across his face, kicking himself mentally for being so soft. Seeing that unfold before him was so lame, so ridiculous, so undeniably and indisputably...

…adorable.

Nishinoya ran up and gave his teammate a double high five, then poked him in the ribs to throw him off. Yamaguchi doubled over, clutching his sides while his high pitched laughter floated through the air. 

Tsukishima pretended not to notice.

He saw it happen again later, while Yamaguchi was sitting next to Suga on the bench during break. The third year was much more subtle about it, doing sneaky things like poking his side repeatedly and whispering mean teases in his ear. Tsukishima could make out a few words here and there scattered in between Yamaguchi’s tittered giggles. The first year was doing his best to stay quiet, clamping a hand over his mouth while he squirmed in place, probably to save himself the embarrassment. 

Tsukishima glanced over his shoulder, trying not to make it too obvious he was watching.

“...does it tickle here?”

“Pfffft, bahahaha!”

“...here… or what about here…?”

“Eheheheehee! Sugaaaa!”

He couldn’t tell which was worse. Suga’s soft, yet sadistic teasing, or Yamaguchi’s breathless begging. Watching his nose scrunch up, bunching the scattered freckles across his face together while he threw back his head and finally erupted into full blown belly laughs. It was all too much for the middle blocker. In his head, a single sentence repeated itself over and over again like a mantra for the rest of his time at practice, one he couldn’t ignore no matter how much he tried to repress it:

I should be the one getting him.

~~~~~

When the sun began to dip under the horizon, the two of them left the gymnasium together and walked side by side as they headed home, like they always did after practice. Tsukishima was as quiet as ever, still mulling to himself while Yamaguchi tried making small talk. He didn’t really register what he was saying, as his mind was still replaying the scenes from earlier. He was so deep in thought that he barely heard his friend calling his name.

“...Tsukki? Earth to Tsukki! Helloooooo?”

The blonde perked up, finally coming back to reality. Yamaguchi was staring at him with his big, brown eyes, like a puppy dog seeking attention from its master. He thought about the way he squeezed them shut when Nishinoya tickled his sides, and then how sweet his giggles sounded when Suga was poking him. He thought about how much he wanted to hear him laugh like that again, right here, right now.

He couldn’t deny it any longer. He really, really wanted to tickle Yamaguchi.

Without saying a word, Tsukishima slapped the back of his neck and began to give him gentle squeezes. 

“Aaaaaah! Tsukkiiiii!”

Yamaguchi’s reaction was as predictable as always. He raised his arms to try and grab Tsukki’s hands, leaving his midsection wide open for an attack. The middle blocker jabbed into his sides, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly in amusement while Yamaguchi tried to fight the tickles from both ends. It was funny how much those subtle touches affected him. No wonder everyone else on the team enjoyed teasing him so much.

“Are you still spending the night tonight?” He asked, keeping a straight face as he feigned ignorance to Yamaguchi’s suffering.

“Ahahaha! I already said yeahahahaha!”

He gave him a few more rapid squeezes before letting him go. Yamaguchi let out a few more breathy laughs, then immediately started to whine, but it went unnoticed by a brooding Tsukki. He was still unsatisfied, but this little taste was enough to blow him over until they reached his house. Maybe then he’d feel a bit more bold.

~~~~~

As soon as they got back to Tsukishima’s place, they kicked off their shoes and went straight for the couch to watch some stupid TV shows. It was a Friday night, and they basically had the place to themselves since the rest of his family was out of town. Yamaguchi sat on one end of the couch, shoving fistfuls of cheese-itz into his mouth while Tsukishima sat on the other end, looking bored as ever as some dumb cartoon episode played on the screen. In reality, he was using all of his willpower to fight back his embarrassing little urge. His fingers twitched in place, tapping against the arm of the couch incessantly as if relieving pent up energy.

“Hey,” he said after an hour or so of silence.

“Yeah?” Yamaguchi mumbled with a mouthful of cheese.

“What was up with that whole ‘it’ thing earlier,” he asked casually, hoping his curiosity wouldn’t betray him.

“Huh?” Yamaguchi gulped down his cheesy snack. “Oh! You mean…”

He trailed off, the end of his sentence barely audible. Tsukishima noticed a pinkish hue forming on his cheeks as his gaze fell to the floor. It complimented his freckles quite nicely. God, why did he have to be so cute?

“Uh, well… Nishinoya suggested it ‘cause I kept getting nervous, and he said it could help me relax…”

“Uh huh. Did it work?”

“Actually, yeah! I felt like it helped loosen me up.”

“Uh huh.”

There was a brief moment of awkward silence that fell between them before Yamaguchi spoke up again.

“Uh, why do you ask?”

“You know,” Tsukishima said, leaning over his friend who was sprawled out across the cushions. “You can ask me. If you ever want ‘it’.”

“Wha, what?!”

Tsukki grabbed both of his wrists and held them down firmly, with little resistance from the pinch server who stared at him with a dumbfounded look, as if he hadn’t expected this to happen at all. He donned his most convincing poker face, hoping it was enough to mask his nervousness. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was climbing up his throat. There was no going back now.

“Tsukki…? What, what are you doing?!”

“Do you like it?”

“...Huh? Like what?”

Tsukki flashed a knowing smirk before he asked his next question.

“Do you like being tickled?”

There it was. He managed to spit it out, after all, as much as he hated saying that word. It looked like it bothered Yamaguchi just as much, who was already writhing beneath him.

“Whahahat?! Me? Wh, why do you ask?!”

He was giving  himself away with his nervous laughter and skittish babbling. Tsukishima hadn’t touched him at all, and he was already so worked up. His smirk turned into a grin as he shuffled the trapped wrists into one hand and hovered the other over his head. 

He was really going to enjoy this.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Yamaguchi pulled weakly at his trapped arms, not really trying to get away but not surrendering either. He wiggled with what little room he had, and the sight made Tsukishima even more eager to get started. He noticed that the hem of his shirt had ridden up, exposing a bit of his belly button, and snuck his hand underneath so that it rested against his bare skin. It felt warm in his palms, and it twitched a lot just from the slight movement of his hand.

“Ehehehe, Tsukki!! Wait!!”

“Not gonna answer? Mmmk.”

Unable to hold out any longer, Tsukishima wisped the tips of his fingers against Yamaguchi’s stomach. His skin was soft to touch and quivered like jello. The freckly-faced boy squealed loudly, arching his back and pushing himself further into Tsukishima’s hand. The blonde couldn’t help but smile; only he knew how weak his friend was to light tickles, and he was going to exploit that fact for as long as he could.

“Tsukeeheeheehee!! Wahahahahit!!”

“It's really obvious that you like it,” Tsukishima stated matter-of-factly, continuing to spider in a circular motion around his navel. “You were so shy about asking, and you never said stop.” He moved towards his side, raking the entire length of his waist as Yamaguchi shrieked, squirmed, and protested. His torso bounced up and down like he was on a trampoline, contorting himself as much as he could with what little room he had to move. He accidentally brushed against his hip and remembered how bad it was there once Yamaguchi shrieked in ticklish agony.

“Ahahahaha, nghhhh, noHOHOHO NOT THEHEHERE!!”

“Not where? Here? You mean your hips? You’re really weak there, aren’t you?”

Tsukishima proved himself by tickling that hyper-sensitive area, putting his thumb in the crease of his thigh while his other four fingers dug into the side of his hip. Yamaguchi bucked his hips in response, involuntarily trying to shake him off but instead pushing himself further into the blonde’s grip once again. His laughter was bubbly and wild, jumping through multiple octaves until he lost his energy and fell into silent laughter. That’s when Tsukishima knew he was getting to him. He eased up, still stroking the waist of his shorts but at a much slower pace so he could catch his breath.

“Such a big reaction from a little touch,” he whispered, ghosting his fingers up his chest until they reached his collarbones. He fluttered against them with a feather-light touch, relishing Yamaguchi’s small squeaks and flinches. He climbed further, skittering the backs of his nails against his neck while the pinch server shook his head from side to side. He tried fighting back his giggles, but they burst through despite his best efforts.

“NgghhaahAHAHAHAHA! Pleeeeease! Tsukeeheehee!”

Tsukishima moved up to his ears, jumping from one to the other as he nearly tickled his friend to hysterics. Every time he turned his head, he’d just go to the other, making it impossible to shake him off. Yamaguchi was unable to form words, once again succumbing to silent laughter. 

“What’s wrong? Can’t talk? Maybe this will help,” Tsuki poked one of his underarms and nearly got bucked off the couch from how violently Yamaguchi thrashed. After grounding himself a bit more steadily, he focused his efforts on this new spot, poking the center of his pit again and again while his friend convulsed beneath him. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he tried hiding his face in one arm, perhaps from shyness or embarrassment. That just made Tsukki poke his other armpit, which elicited another goofy cackle from the trapped server.

He kept it up for several more minutes until Yamaguchi’s face was bright red and his giggles turned into wheezes. Tsukki gave him a few seconds of respite, allowing him to catch his breath before things got too intense. He put his hand on his stomach again and lazily traced random patterns into his trembling skin.

“I don't think it's lame, by the way,” he said, tracing a line from one side to the other while the brunette snickered from the light touch. “You can ask me whenever.”

“Aheeheehee… aha! ...I… I cahahan?”

“Yeah. Just don't be weird about it,” Tsukishima released him at long last, taking a moment to enjoy the blushing, disheveled sight that was Yamaguchi. The guy had curled himself into a ball in case Tsukishima decided to attack again and was still giggling, even now when Tsukki was at least a foot away.

“So… you don’t think I’m lame?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned about what his friend thought of him. The blonde shrugged his shoulders, acting nonchalant while his insides fluttered like butterflies.

“Nah. You’re a pretty cool guy. I guess.”

Yamaguchi sounded a bit hoarse, so Tsukki went to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. He chugged it down so fast he started coughing, and Tsukki rubbed circles in his back until he was breathing normally again. 

“Wait… why were you watching me so much at practice?” the brunette suddenly asked while staring at his friend, who looked quite taken aback from the unexpected question.

“I wasn’t. I just…”

“Hold on! You were jealous, weren’t you? Did you wanna do ‘it’ to me at practice? Did ya? Did ya?” Yamaguchi poked at his friend’s ribs, moreso to annoy him than get a reaction, and luckily the blonde was able to stifle his own vocalization. He slapped away his hand and furrowed his brows in a fake display of annoyance.

“Stop. And how bold of you to assume I was focusing all my attention on you, dummy.”

Seeing him don a shit-eating grin only spurred Tsukki’s irritation on. He felt his own cheeks burn with humiliation now that he’d been discovered. It wasn’t often that Yamaguchi got the best of him, and when he did, he made sure to rub it in as much as he could. 

“Awww, Tsukki!! If you wanna tickle me that bad, you can just ask too!”

“Shut up. And don’t say that. It’s embarrassing. For you, I mean.”

“Hehe, what's the matter Tsukki? Can't say it? You can't say t-EHEHEHEHEE NOOOOOO! Please no I'm sohahahahree!!!”

Yamaguchi spluttered out pleas for mercy through more wild laughter as Tsukki latched onto his sides, tickling with much more ferocity than before. They stayed there for a while longer, just enjoying their closeness now that both of their little secrets were out in the open. Yamaguchi’s laugh rang out like musical notes, filling the house with a wonderful, heartwarming sound.

And for once, Tsukki actually laughed along with him.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon? 

There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?

Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.

Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.

But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.

Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.

Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.

In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.

Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending  where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.

Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.

Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.

Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.

Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.

Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.

All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...

Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare

Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.

Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.

Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.

Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.

Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.

Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.

The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.

But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.

[august-anon]

Tickletober Day 2 - Feathers

I’m so tired and busy lately that I’m proud of a 2-day streak of pre-written fics, what does that say about me lol

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship(s): Geraskier

Characters (lee/ler): Ler!Geralt, Lee!Jaskier

Word Count: 1663 words

Summary: Jaskier seems to have misplaced his quill. He finds himself in a rather ticklish position once Geralt finds it.

[ao3 link]

-----------------------------------

Jaskier hummed a melody under his breath as he wrote out his newest lyrics, inspired by Geralt’s bruxa hunt last week. He added some embellishments, sure (Geralt was so stingy with the details, anyway), but such was the nature of art. Jaskier was sure he’d get Geralt to understand, one day.

His composing was then rudely interrupted by Geralt busting into their shared room, sending the door crashing into the wall. Jaskier held back a wince. He really hoped there wasn’t any damage, there. They couldn’t exactly afford to pay the innkeeper back for it, if there was.

“Must you break every door you come across?” Jaskier asked, tucking his quill behind his ear for safekeeping, ignoring the tingling sensation as he slid it across his skin.

Geralt grunted and dropped two plates full of food on their rickety table, thankfully much more carefully than he opened the door. Jaskier sighed. Geralt was probably so surly because of how rude the local townsfolk had been to them since they arrived, which Jaskier certainly couldn’t fault him for. Even Jaskier himself had been losing his patience with them, which was why he had been upstairs composing instead of downstairs earning some much-needed coin.

For once, Jaskier didn’t feel the need to start conversation. He left Geralt to his own devices as they ate, focusing on his songbook, tapping out beats with one hand and eating with the other. Years ago, he would’ve been worried about staining the parchment with food, but travelling with a witcher rid one of those worries rather quickly. Jaskier had many songbooks tucked away in Oxenfurt that were stained with far worse than a mediocre stew.

It was only after he finished eating that Jaskier decided to go back to jotting down lyrics, reaching for where he assumed he’d left his quill on the table. Only, his quill wasn’t there. He looked up from his notebook to find that it wasn’t anywhere on the table, though he can’t imagine he’d set it down somewhere else, considering he’d not moved since Geralt arrived back to the room.

“What did you lose, now?” Geralt asked, glancing over towards the end table by the bed, as if he even knew what he was looking for.

“My…” Jaskier started, but trailed off absentmindedly as he ducked his head under the table to check the floor beneath it and the chairs.

“Your what?”

Jaskier snapped back into the present, sitting up again. “My quill. I could’ve sworn I just had it before you came in, but I seem to have misplaced it now.”

Geralt stared at him.

Jaskier stared back.

Geralt continued staring, expression slowly shifting from are you serious to are you a fucking idiot.

“What?” Jaskier asked. “Is there something on my face?”

“Jaskier.”

Jaskier reached up to rub around his mouth, worried that perhaps he’d managed to get food stuck to him somewhere. How unattractive that would be! Though, he supposed Geralt could always kiss it off…

But there was nothing on his face.

“I truly have no idea why you’re looking at me like that.”

Geralt huffed out a noise that was almost a laugh, though not quite. He shook his head and reached out toward the side of Jaskier’s head. Jaskier frowned. Had he ruffled his hair so badly while he was working on his songs that even Geralt thought it needed fixing? He really ought to be more aware of it, if he was tugging on his hair that hard. He had an image to maintain, after all.

But Geralt didn’t smooth his hair down. In fact, Geralt’s hand didn’t touch Jaskier at all. Instead, he grabbed onto something just above Jaskier’s ear and tugged.

And Jaskier squealed.

He jerked backwards, nearly toppling his entire chair over with him still in it. The tingly, ticklish feeling was still echoing against his ear and the skin behind it, teasing him and making him want to squirm even though the moment had passed. Rubbing vigorously at his ear and looking up, Jaskier saw his quill pinched between two of Geralt’s fingers.

“My quill!” He said, hoping to distract Geralt from the scene he just made with his cheering. “Thank you, my dear, I--”

“What was that?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier plastered on his widest, most charming smile. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Could I have my quill, please? I just had an idea for a wonderful set of lyrics”

Geralt stared at Jaskier, then eyed the quill. Then his eyes moved back to Jaskier, settling on his ear for a moment, and then trailing back to the quill. Understanding sparked in Geralt’s eyes, and butterflies began to swarm in Jaskier’s stomach.

“Now, Geralt,” Jaskier said, giving up all semblance of dismissing what had just happened, “let’s talk about this.”

Geralt, never one for talking, lunged.

Jaskier shrieked and scrambled backwards, this time actually toppling his chair and sending himself to the floor. Geralt must have been going easy on him, because even with Jaskier losing precious time to reorient himself, Geralt still hadn’t pinned him to the floor to torment him. He rolled over and crawled away, trying to get his feet under him in the process, but their room was only so big, and Geralt wasn’t afraid to use his mutations to his advantage.

Jaskier barely made it a couple of feet before Geralt pushed him to the floor on his stomach and, oh, this was so much worse than Jaskier was expecting. He should’ve just waited and let Geralt pin him before scrambling away, at least then he would’ve been on his back and been able to at least pretend to fight Geralt off. Now, though, he had no hope of reaching behind his back to protect himself. Maybe Geralt hadn’t been going easy on him, after all, and instead was making a calculated decision on how best to destroy him.

That certainly sounded much more likely.

And it wasn’t as though Jaskier was truly upset with the course the evening had taken. Truly, he didn’t mind being tickled, even enjoyed it sometimes (and he was certain he’d enjoy it if it was Geralt doing the tickling), but the thing was, Jaskier tended to be loud. He squealed and shrieked and squirmed enough to knock over furniture. His laugh was loud, and he had quite the large capacity for it, considering his singer’s lungs.

Oh, Jaskier really hoped they wouldn’t get kicked out of this inn for being too noisy. He really missed sleeping in a soft, warm bed, rude townsfolk be damned.

And then Jaskier heard a rumbling hum above him, the feathery end of his quill touching down on the sensitive skin behind his ear. Instead of making a futile effort to fight Geralt off, Jaskier shot his hands forward to cover his mouth. Normally, he would be wary of leaving his underarms exposed, but Jaskier doubted that a feather’s touch would be able to affect him through both his chemise and doublet.

His following squeals were thankfully muffled by his hands so as to not cause too much of a disturbance, but Jaskier still couldn’t help but squirm wildly. He wiggled where he rested between Geralt’s knees, not sure if he wished that Geralt would straddle him fully so he could be held still or if he wanted Geralt to move completely so that he could escape. His legs were kicking frantically, out of his control, boots making rather loud contact with the chair Jaskier had knocked over as he flailed.

“Are you really this ticklish?” Geralt huffed, and Jaskier swore he heard a smile in his voice.

If Jaskier wasn’t busy trying to keep himself contained, he would be offended at how calm Geralt sounded. He giggled and squealed, yet it somehow didn’t occur to him that he could shake his head back and forth to escape the feather. Instead, he just shoved his forehead into the floor, hands over his mouth, and made increasingly high-pitched noises.

“I suppose that’s a yes,” Geralt said.

Geralt shifted above him and the feather suddenly jumped from behind Jaskier’s ear, to the inside of the shell. Jaskier yelped and his hands flew away from his mouth to pound on the floor. He twisted his head and pressed the tormented ear into the floor, but Geralt simply took that as an opportunity to gently pin his head to the floor and go after his other ear.

Jaskier shrieked and squirmed, but he couldn't escape. His giggles were bordering on frantic as the soft feather teased around and inside the shell of his ear. Even Geralt was beginning to chuckle above him, clearly enjoying himself at Jaskier’s expense.

“Geralt, please!” Jaskier managed to wheeze out eventually, when he felt like the feeling was finally beginning to become too much.

Geralt slid the feather up the back of Jaskier’s neck, making him shiver, before pulling it away completely. He removed his hand from Jaskier’s head, allowing him to raise it again, and Jaskier instantly brought his hand up to rub frantically at his ear. 

Geralt leaned back to give Jaskier some space, but he didn’t lift himself off of Jaskier completely, still kneeling over him. Jaskier decided to take advantage of that, rolling over and wrapping his arms around Geralt’s neck, tugging him down. Geralt went down with a grunt, hands landing on either side of Jaskier’s head, and Jaskier tangled their legs together.

“I thought you wanted to work,” Geralt said, smirking with a raised eyebrow.

Jaskier hummed. “No, no. You owe me love and affection, now. I demand it. Cuddle me, dear witcher, before I perish from a broken heart.”

“And the floor is the most comfortable place for that?”

“Unless you’re planning to carry me to the bed.”

Geralt lowered himself just enough to press a chaste, lingering kiss onto his lips before pushing himself back up. Jaskier grinned up at him.

“That could be arranged.”

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Don’t Do That Again ~ S.R.

A/n: I really do be thriving off these requests.

Request: “Can I requests Spencer Reid x Male reader where Spencer saves you from a close call on the job from a man who murdered his family then tried to kill you (the first cop/fbi agent) in scene, but Spencer arrives and kills him before he can kill you. With the close call you both admit to the feelings you’ve both been having towards eachother for the past few years...which ends in smut 💖” by @kingreidx

Word Count: 3200+

Masterlist

This case had been weirdly hard. It had seemed like a really open and shut case. A man had been the only survivor in an attempted murder case. Attempted only because the husband had been left alive. The rest of his family, unfortunately, had all been killed. It had been all about finding out how to prove that the man the father had described was to blame. It was only when Y/n, the new profiler who was on his first case, had been escorting Mr. Bryman (the father) home from questioning the finally found suspect that everything went wrong. The suspect who Mr. Bryman had been insistent on being the one to kill his family was a Mr. Kyle Lattnam, and it seemed odd since he had been quiet unless Mr. Bryman asked him if he had killed his family, then Kyle confirmed it. That was all they could get from him.

Spencer kept staring at Bryman like he was searching for something. He had been since about halfway through this case actually. That's what prompted Bryman to pull Y/n aside. "Can you escort me home?"

Y/n rose an eyebrow. "You're safe, sir, I can promise you. Now that we have-"

"Please?" Bryman insisted. "I know he's here but this is the first time I'm heading home since they were all killed and..." He took a deep breath in. Y/n would realize only later that it had been even and deep. There was no emotion in his eyes, only in the twisted curve of his mouth and the nervous fidget of his hands. "You've been so kind to me this whole case. Can I ask you this last favor?"

Y/n smiled softly, nodding. "I understand." He did, more than he'd like to talk about. Y/n had become an agent for a reason. "Of course I'll come with you. I'll escort you in my car if you wish, and then someone can take your car to you in the morning. Or you can drive and I'll follow after."

Bryman nodded. "I would like to drive my own car."

Grabbing his keys, Y/m smiled a little stronger. He moved to Derek. "I'm going to escort Mr. Bryman home for his first time returning since the incident. If anyone asks will you tell them that?" Derek nodded and they were gone.

When they got to what used to be the Bryman house, Y/n got out of his car. "See? Perfectly s-" He cut off as Bryman suddenly pulled a gun out of his car as he turned around. Y/n's eyes widened and he slowly raised his hands to show he was unarmed. "Mr. Bryman what-"

"Shut up," the man spit. "Give me your gun." Y/n swallowed before slowly reaching for his gun. Bryman moved closer. "If you try and shoot me, I will put a bullet between your eyes do you understand me?" Y/n silently nodded before taking the weapon off of his belt and holding it out to Bryman. The man took it and threw it in his car before closing the door. "Inside. Now."

"Ler-"

"NOW!" Y/n stepped backwards toward the house, his heart rate picking up a lot. He tried to remind himself to keep calm. He couldn't get out of this if he panicked. In this way the two men made it into the house. Bryman forced Y/n into the basement and forced him to sit in a chair before Bryman tied him up with a rope. Only then did the gun get put away. "Now, I'm going to get my van and we're going to go somewhere special, do you understand me?"

There was a second where Y/n swallowed, breathing carefully. "You killed them, didn't you Leroy?"

Leroy Bryman laughed out loud. "You know, I think they give you FBI agents too much credit. Your group genius was the only one who could see through me. I knew I shouldn't have told him about that day. Unlike you guys, he can see things. Things that I can't let anyone see.

"How did you get Kyle to confess?" Y/n asked slowly.

Bryman grinned. "You know, that's the first time you've not called me Mr. Bryman. Lost your respect for me have you? Well, they won't miss you for a few hours and before then you'll be long dead."

That did make Y/n lose his grip on his emotions just a little. This was up to him. He had to get himself out, before it was too late. "Why me?"

A long sigh sounded from Bryman. "Because that genius of yours found me out. I could tell- he really did see through me. Some of your people weren't totally sure but one confession and they were almost all convinced. All but that genius of yours. They're going to find me out. I know it. I've seen him during this whole case, and I could see it in his eyes today when he looked at me. He's on the brink of placing his finger on the dot. And if I go down... well, then he's coming with me."

"Then why kidnap me and not him?" Y/n asked. Not to say he wasn't glad. Reid had been through enough, and the thought alone that he could be here instead of Y/n was a terrible thought. But Y/n was still curious.

Just then a sick grin twisted his lips. "You don't know then." Y/n frowned in confusion. "You're probably one of the most important people to him. I don't know about how he is with his family, but he protects you more than anyone else on that team."

That sent Y/n right over the edge. "Everyone's protective of me. I'm new."

Bryman laughed again. "I feel bad for you, dying without being able to hear it from him. I do have some pity for you though. To return your kindness during this case, I'll tell you something. He had feelings for you. He looks at you like you're his whole world. Like you're made of gold. He looks at you like he's in love with you."

Y/n's heart stopped. His mouth opened but no sound came out. Bryman lowered a gun to his head and Y/n's mind went blank. His shoulders relaxed and he looked at Bryman with wide eyes. "Wait-"

Sirens. They both looked at the window that lead outside in surprise. "Huh," Bryman huffed. The muted blue and red flashing lights knocked Y/n out of his stupor. Unfortunately for Bryman, all he'd done were tie Y/n's wrists together behind his back. Which left him defenseless for the most part... except that Y/n could still stand. Going on first instinct, as Bryman looked back to set that gun off only an inch away from his face, Y/n shot to his feet. Bryman shot in surprise and between the kick back of the gun that Bryman hadn't prepared for in his surprise and the sudden change of where Y/n's face was, the bullet lodged in Y/n's shoulder instead of his forehead.

Y/n screamed, but had already succeeded. He had brought his knee up as he stood and now they were both on the ground. Bryman cupped his crotch for a second before reaching for the gun he'd dropped. The front door busted open in the distance and the sound of footsteps thundered above them. As Bryman wrapped his fingers around the gun, Y/n screamed again- this time much louder. As loud as he could go. As Bryman got to his knees and went to point the gun at Y/n again, the door leading to the basement caved in and the room was filled with FBI agents in seconds.

Y/n was bleeding from his shoulder shot but Bryman now had the gun trained at Y/n's face again. There was yelling, but it was Reid who finally got Bryman to lower the gun enough for him to be arrested. Unfortunately, it was all kind of distant to Y/n who was beginning to fade out from blood loss. He did recognize Reid untying him though and picking him up and carrying him outside to the medics. "Come on Y/n," he begged quietly. "Stay with me."

Long story short, Y/n was fine. Getting the bullet out had been a bitch and he'd needed a hot second to rest before they all flew back home, but the case was properly solved and everything was taken care of. Y/n was back to work just a week later after the whole incident, to everyone's worry.

Once again though, it was Reid who was the only one capable of talking sense into Y/n. He was the one who got them both another few days off to properly recuperate from the trauma of his very first mission going to south in such a way. Everyone was perfectly fine with letting him do it too. Y/n and Reid would take care of each other, and both of them needed that after what had happened with Bryman. Because, unlike Y/n and Reid, the entire team was just as aware of not only Reid's feelings for Y/n, but also Y/n's feelings for Reid.

It took an entire day of tension for Y/n to slip. Spencer was on the couch, but Y/n asked him to stay with him in bed because he was getting nightmares. He swore he'd never admit it to anyone else and Reid agreed to stay. The second day was full of even more tension. Between Reid playing doctor and the two of them waking up in bed together, it was hard to deny the chemistry. Y/n was suddenly acutely aware of every time Reid looked at him, or how Y/n's name sounded different when Reid said it. Different than when he said anyone else's name. Y/n noticed how touchy Reid was, even though he normally kept pretty physically distant from everyone. On the flip side, Y/n was also letting his guard down and becoming very affectionate and attentive. Clingy.

Day five, Reid was the one who slipped. They'd gotten into a habit of waking up next to each other and it seemed that Y/n was finally okay enough to actually get back to work. Reid was a genius profiler though and even if he had had his head stuck in the idea that Y/n would never like him back, it was becoming painfully obvious that Y/n's closeness wasn't just circumstantial. Y/n had started to touch Reid's hair a lot. That day when Y/n did it, Reid caught his hand.

"Sorry I didn't mean-" Reid pulled Y/n's hand so Y/n was closer. With his other hand he cupped Y/n's jaw. He pecked a quick kiss on Y/n's lips before pulling away and turning back to his book like nothing had happened. Y/n was left standing there, silent and reeling. "You kissed me."

"I did," Reid confirmed casually.

Y/n took a deep breath. "You like me."

"I do," Reid confirmed again.

"Do you know that I like you?"

Reid paused for a while. "I do." This one was more shy. Softer. He was less sure here, or perhaps just nervous.

Y/n  smiled softly. He flattened his hand on Reid's thigh so he could lean down, swiveling his head to catch Reid's lips with his in a much more tender kiss. Reid tilted his head, the book closing softly. He lifted his free hand to softly touch the side of Y/n's face. They parted. "I'm not good at this," Reid whispered. "I mean, I don't do it often." Y/n stood up again and Reid put his book down, placing it off to the side.

"I've been secretly crushing on you for years, Spencer. That news makes me nothing but happy to hear."

Spencer chuckled, standing up himself. "I have been too, you know."

Y/n rose an eyebrow. "Bet I was yearning more."

His eyebrow quirked. "Oh yeah?" His arms looped around Y/n, pulling their bodies flushed together. Y/n's hands flattened against his chest on instinct. "And how are we to measure this?"

Thinking, Y/n bit his lip. "How about whoever kisses the other the best wins?" He was smirking. Spencer took a second then blinked. It was only then that Y/n realized the other man had been staring as Y/n had bit his lip in thought.

Clearing his throat, Spencer focused himself as Y/n's smirk grew wider. "You know I'm actually a really good kisser."

"Oh yeah?" Y/n asked, trying to fight off giggles as Spencer tried to act sexy. It wasn't that it wasn't totally working, it was the thought that this man could so easily switch gears after just a moment ago being so shy and coy. A moment ago he'd claimed that he wasn't good at this and didn't do it often. Now Y/n was... more than just a little turned on by the look Spencer was giving him now.

Spencer moved his head so their noses brushed. Y/n caught his breath, having expected to get the hell kissed out of him right then and there. "Yeah," Spencer whispered. "You wanna see?" Y/n wordlessly nodded. Then Spencer kissed him, and it was like no kiss that Y/n had ever experienced before.

There was a kind of desperation to that kiss. A kind of tension that sent Y/n's head spinning. Spencer grabbed Y/n's entire head with both of his hands, pulling them as close as possible.

There was heat to the kiss. The kind that sent Y/n's skin burning and rose the cool air around them to unbearable temperatures. Y/n had the thought to be wearing less layers, but that would leave him practically naked, and he only wanted to kiss Spencer... right?

There was so much love when Spencer kissed him. Like Y/n could feel Spencer's relief after years of yearning reflected in his own chest, swelling and pressing against his rib cage. A warmness in his gut. A lightness to his body, like he was floating.

Spencer pressed Y/n against the wall that had been quite a bit away just a moment ago. Y/n's brain was too full of Spencer to care about anything else, and the feeling of the brunette pining Y/n against the wall, their bodies melding together, was even more of  distraction. Y/n couldn't remember why this had started- he just hoped it wouldn't end. It didn't even feel real... Y/n silently prayed that if this was a dream, he would never wake up. He'd just die in this fantasy and be here forever and never leave. It would be better than waking u[ in a world where this had never happened and he was back to simply sitting back in his chair and watching someone he was in love with ignore him from a distance.

It was only when Spencer leaned away that Y/n realized he needed to breathe. Suddenly he was gasping, leaning his head back to rest against the wall. Spencer moved his leg in between Y/n's, pressing his thigh against the lump in Y/n's pants. Y/n gasped, his whole body going rigid as a sharp and sudden wave of a different want than he'd experienced in quite a while fill him. He was reminded of high school and kissing boys in closets and under bleachers. Except now it was in a bedroom and that felt much more intimate and adult and real and meaningful.

Oh my god this was real.

Y/n's eyes moved to find Spencer's. The men looked at each other.

Suddenly they both shot into action, Y/n pulling off his shirt as Spencer started on the buttons. Y/n began doing it for him as Spencer got distracted with the other man's newly exposed torso. Y/n left a little kiss on Spencer's neck before Spencer caught him in another kiss. Then they were turning and tripping until Y/n fell back on the bed, Spencer quickly coming after him. Y/n's fingers were in Spencer's hair and he tugged, a low, really sexy noise coming from the back of Spencer's throat in response. Their eyes locked and Y/n shivered.

"I want your pants off. Now." Y/n gulped before obeying. Soon Y/n was in nothing but his boxers and Spencer's eyes raked him. It made him shy. "Don't do that," Spencer ordered. Y/n shot him a confused look. "Look at me like you're ashamed when all I see when I look at you is how gorgeous you are."

Y/n swallowed. "Okay." He blushed and Spencer nodded before he seemed to change gears again.

Spencer removed his own pants, getting off the bed to do so. Now they were both practically naked, staring at each other with admiration. And hunger. Spencer was over Y/n again in a second, but this time he was kissing Y/n neck. Y/n sharply released a breath, his fingers twining in Spencer's hair again. Spencer's kisses made a path lower and lower, from his neck to his chest, down his stomach, straight to his waistband. Y/n's hands moved to the sheets now that Spencer was out of reach - and just in time, because Spencer didn't pause before pulling off Y/n's boxers. Y/n bit his bottom lip and Spencer smirked before touching Y/n's member.

A beautiful, breathless almost-moan sounded, encouraging Spencer to begin to really stroke him. "Do you like that?" Y/n made some sort of choked noise of affirmation that made Spencer grow more confident. Y/n's fingers curled around the sheets and Spencer sighed. "Talk to me, baby. I want to hear if you like it or not."

"Yes," Y/n breathed, his chest shuddering with breath as he did so.

Spencer's smile grew. "How much?" He gripped Y/n's waist, his thumb massaging Y/n's hipbone. "Come on, tell me."

Y/n sighed, his eyes fluttering as he tried to keep them open. "Really- a lot. What happened to you don't do this often and aren't very good at it?"

A soft chuckle came from Spencer. He was thriving seeing the effect he had on the other man. "Well, I don't have sex often. But I'm plenty used to pleasing a man." Y/n rolled his eyes, but his smile gave him away. Spencer adjusted his grip and Y/n moaned. "Good boy. Let it go for me, please." Spencer pulled off being both incredibly sexy and dominant and also being respectful and polite in a way that drove Y/n crazy.  When Y/n didn't show signs of cumming, Spencer began to leave little hickies in every place he could reach. The extra bit sent Y/n over the edge. Spencer stood to grab a towel before cleaning the mess off of Y/n's stomach. "There you go."

Y/n moved so that when Spencer lay down, he hovered above. "Did you think we were going to stop?" He asked as Spencer raised a questioning eyebrow. "I still want to-"

"No it's okay," Spencer dismissed. "I want to cuddle with you now." He pat the spot next to him that didn't allow for question. Confused, Y/n lay down as commanded. When it got quiet, Spencer used his hand to tilt Y/n's face toward him so they could kiss again. "How do you feel about being my boyfriend?"

Y/n smiled. "I feel quite good about it."

Spencer snuggled him. "Good. Then that's what you are."

"Good," Y/n whispered back.

After a second Spencer said, “Hey side note?” He looked very seriously at Y/n. “The whole almost dying thing? Don’t do that again.”

Y/n snorted. “I will have no problem trying my best to keep that.” He paused. “Our job is very dangerous though.”

Spencer pulled Y/n closer. “I guess I’ll just have to protect you then.”

A small smile graced Y/n’s face. “Yeah, I guess so.”

[turtletimewriting]

Logan’s Adventure- To the doctor’s

Summary: What it says on the tin!

Note: Woop woop! I actually found some motivation to write so feeling good about these ones! I will say, there isn’t any tickling in this one so if you’re reading purely for the tickles then sorry! 

This is based on the tickle forest idea by fluffomatic so check them out!

Beginning!--- Patton’s part!

_._._

“Well where do you think we should go?” Virgil asked. Logan took a pause to consider the options.

“Well all options are valid and useful so I guess-”

“Cool because if you don’t really have a strong opinion, then I say we’re going to the doctors,” Virgil stated and marched on the stoned road leading straight into the village. Logan huffed a laugh at him, “Just... I guess now that you’ve mentioned it, I don’t want to end up getting bitten or a rash or whatever.”

“Sounds good to me,” Logan smiled before shyly linking their hands together.  

Now it was of course no surprise to see that the side that looked like a prince straight from a Disney film would create a medieval European village. The houses all stood tall with dramatic black wooden frames but still somehow made them feel at home immediately. Maybe it was because everyone they passed waved and nodded at them and the first house they passed had a mother placing a hot apple pie on the windowsill. There was colourful bunting strung up the old fashioned oil lamps and they could both almost hear the Disney-esque music playing in the background. It was a short walk until they came across the doctors. 

Walking in, the receptionist smiled widely and waved them over. Luckily, the waiting room was pretty much empty with only one girl fidgeting and tapping her foot. “Hello lovelies! How can I help?” The receptionist spun on her office chair to face them. Despite how friendly everyone was, Virgil automatically kept looking around the office leaving Logan to do the talking.

“Hello, I’m afraid we don’t have an appointment nor are we actually ill. This is our first time... travelling through and we wou-”

“Oh!” The lady butted in and started typing furiously on the computer, “That’s no problem. So would you like a drop-in session to go over how to protect yourselves and basic aid for the wildlife here, right?”

“That’s sounds great, thank you.”

“No problem. I just need to ask some questions so the doctor knows what to ask you all about?” 

“Go ahead.”

“Right, so firstly names?” The receptionist asked much to both of their surprise. Usually most of Roman’s creativity meant that any imagined space and people knew them. Typically every villager would rave about a certain red clad prince hero, they would bake for a certain lovely young man in bright blue, Logan made an effort to challenge the professors and every villager knew to leave the poor shy man in black to himself. 

They both answered basic questions about themselves before the receptionist boredly asked one last question that froze them, “Okay last one, are you lees or lers or switches?” 

“Uh... what?” Virgil whipped round to actually face her for once and Logan simply bluescreened. 

“Do you prefer being tickled, the ticklee, or tickling someone, being a tickler? Or, of course, a little bit of both?” The receptionist asked as if she was simply asking them what they’re favourite colours were. 

“Of course Remus would also create not only paperwork but... stupid questions,” Virgil grumbled but he already knew he was going to answer quickly. Yes this was an anxious nightmare but then he wasn’t about to cause a scene to someone innocently doing their job. He’d just have to get Remus later.

“I’d say both... switches?” Logan asked with a nervous look to Virgil. 

“Yeah?” The lady asked clearly wanting a bit more.

“I’d agree with that but I do think it’s important to note that Logan here leans strongly to the lee side,” Virgil quickly butted in.

“What?” Logan demanded.

“Okay great! You’re all good to go. You won’t have to wait long. Probably no more than five minutes. The doctor will call you. You can take a seat while you wait but I will say that the girl also waiting was bitten by lersquitos so maybe keep you’re distance,” She smiled widely and submitted the form before Logan could fight against any of their answers. 

“Thank you,” Virgil smiled before dragging his bumbling stuttering boyfriend by the shoulders and sitting them a couple of seats away from the girl. 

“You. Are. A... nightmare,” Logan finally snarked once his mind finally loaded from the betrayal. 

“Eh, the doctor’s need all the information they can grab. That means they need to know about your ‘stress relief’ mechanisms,” Virgil breathily whispered into his ears while trailing his fingers up his arms, leaving Logan flinching and childishly giggling. They stopped however when the girl groaned at their teasing. 

“Uh, excuse me. I’m sorry if this is really rude, but we heard you got bitten by... a something. Do you mind telling us about that?” Logan asked 

“Oh, uh a lersquito,” The girl answered with a judgemental look. She answered as if they had asked what colour the sky was. 

“Yes. That... What is that?” He asked. The girl took a deep breath and releasing an obnoxiously long sigh.

“Yeah it’s just a bug. It bites you and you get into a ler mood. It’s like...” She awkwardly paused but continued while never once looking at them, “you can’t get the idea out of your head and it’s like your fingers can’t keep still, y’know. They mostly hang out around water, so yeah.”

“That has got to be a Remus creation,” Logan nodded to himself and the girl simply shrugged them off and continued staring at the wall while slowly flexing her fingers. 

“Yeah wait!” Virgil suddenly perked up, “how on earth do we fight against that! A bug that bites you! I didn’t pay attention to any bugs. We may have already been bitten! And, and, the map goes through the forest. How on earth are we meant to-”

“That’s why we’re here. Surely the doctor can help us,” Logan answered and smoothed his bangs out of his eyes, much to his dismay. 

It wasn’t much longer until they got called by the doctor. She was dressed like any other doctor with no indication that she specialised in any tickle related stuff. “Hello, c’mon in!” She waved them inside a room. It looked also completely normal. There was a typical notice board behind her desk filled with different flyers and information. This was the only indication that they were in a world created and based on tickling. Even Logan had to admit that it was distracting to see a massive poster of a a cartoon man getting absolutely destroyed by bugs with glowing pink mushrooms in the background. 

He snapped back to attention when he noticed the silence. The doctor laughed at them both considered Virgil was still entranced by the poster. “Sorry! Uhm, can you repeat that?”

“I just asked if this was your first time through?” She asked with a polite smile. 

“Oh yes! Right. Yes this is our first time travelling and we would like to be prepared for anything that may get us... in trouble.”

“Ah well there’s not much advice I can give,” She responded.

“Of course it wouldn’t be that easy,” Logan mumbled under his breath but the doctor kept talking without pause.

“Just apply basic common knowledge and you’ll be alright. Don’t mess around with any weird plants, leave the white flowers alone, be careful around animals. Remember if you do get into trouble then come see a doctor if you’re worried. Did you have any more specific questions?” She asked Logan who was still flicking back and forth between the blatant poster and her.

“What is the most common reason people visit?”

“Well usually it’s the ants. Not a lot of people remember to look where they’re standing and, to be honest, their colonies are not obvious. They sting you and can almost triple your sensitivity. Not a problem if it’s a kid but if you’re in the middle of work then it can be a nuisance. Also, if you do get stung and it lasts more than four hours without treatment then seek medical help immediately.”

“Is there any way to... cure the sting?”

“It’s a simple lotion. It won’t make it disappear, you’ll still be quite sensitive, but it really helps dampen the effects. The sting is enough so that your clothes tickle you so a lot of people will buy it in bulk,” She answered while handing them both the tiniest travel bottle of the lotion. It wasn’t much but then he guessed it made sense that they wouldn’t hand them loads of it. 

They chatted but otherwise the doctor was reluctant to give them anymore considered her stance was thoroughly ‘just use common sense’. Virgil kept his gaze fixed on the notice board but the longer they talked, the more confused he looked. Even Logan ended up nudging him to try and get him to pay attention. 

As they were leaving, Virgil finally spoke up. “Wait, can I look at something?” He asked but he was already leaning over her desk to pull off one of the notes. Unlike the other leaflets, it was just plain paper with a scrawled hard to read chicken scratch. 

He showed it to Logan with a concentrated frown. It read:

The treasure is kinda smelly and gross but you’ll love it!!!!

“Is that a clue!” Logan gasped, intentionally snatching it from his hand. 

“It just stuck out as weird,” He pretty much said to himself because now Logan’s mind had latched on. Any mind based puzzle and Logan was in his happy place. The wording all screamed that this was a treasure that Remus created or at the least Remus made the clue. Had they missed more clues? Were they supposed to have any idea what this means? This was so vague! It spoke about the treasure but not about what the password to unlock was. Maybe the password is what the treasure is! 

Logan absolutely didn’t pay attention to Virgil saying thanks to the doctor and shoving them out the door. Virgil merely fondly rolled his eyes and pushed them out of the village and up to the path. Back to the adventure! 

The path led straight into a heavy forest with vines and the constant chirping of birds. The bushes seemed like they were always moving with different animals scuttling about and Virgil could already feel himself start to sweat as the heavy trees trapped the heat in the forest. All this time, Virgil had to admit he did feel a little worried about getting unfairly sneak-attacked but also that was nothing compared to now. The thick heavy forest only showed that they were truly in the thick of it now. They weren’t sightseeing around a village. They were in an adventure. 

They had barely stepped through the forest before stopping. Across the path was a weeping willow. It was just as gorgeous as terrifying. The soft pinks and white rustling together in a beautiful dance of a feathery bright petals. But also that was the most obvious trap he had ever seen in his life. Logan was still mumbling to himself staring at the clue so he carefully plapped the clue out of his hands and silently pointed at the tree. 

“Ah,” Logan said.

“Yeah. Ah. What do we do?” Virgil sighed. Logan looked around with a wince. The path carved through extremely thick trees and bushes and dense foliage. 

“There’s no good option here. We could keep to the path and just take whatever this tree does or we could go around it.”

“But god knows what’s in there!” Virgil gasped!

“So do we go forward knowing we will get tickled by these... feathery looking branches or get tickled by the unknown. There isn’t a good option here,” Logan sighed. 

This adventure took 20 minutes!

Total time: 46 minutes.

OOH BOY THAT WAS SOO LONG, I’M SO SORRY!

The adventure continues, but what shall our boys do?!

1) Go forward

2) Go off the path 

Now, Logan and Virgil know about lersquitos, tickle ants and discovered a clue! But now Logan is distracted with figuring out the clue!

[theskyeandsea]

When You Get What You Want... || Cutler & Skylar

Timing: Late January 19th,  shortly after this chatzy

Location: Clarke’s Convenience Store

Tagging: @clarkesconvenience & @theskyeandsea

Description: Skylar’s rampage around town continues; Cutler offers a helping hand.

Warnings: Drug use, addiction, body horror, memory loss, medical blood

Disoriented and covered in flour and blood, Skylar stumbled down the road away from the shop, a giddy smile still on her face as her feet began to skip across the pavement. She bounded down the road before turning abruptly, eyes caught by the displays in the window. Staggering forward, she pressed her fingers against the glass and the same sticking sensation filled her. The atoms and molecules and all the tiny parts of what made her a person shifted until she was crashing into the center of the convenience store. With a dazed grin on her face, Skylar began to push displays over. Blood trickled down the side of her face from her ear, a clean jagged section of her earlobe ripped free and stuck in the glass of the convenience store. She barely noticed as the liquid splattered across the clean floors while she shoved at the shelves. Cutler had been mentally preparing himself for a break-in since he had come home. It was bound to happen eventually, as it had for his parents several times over the course of his childhood. When it did, he would handle it the same way his parents had: with calm, slow movements and total compliance. 

It didn’t go that way. 

For one thing, he had expected it to happen while the shop was open and the money would still be in the register. Instead, the crashing sound of displays being toppled downstairs had awoken him in the early hours of the morning. The cool and collected man of his practiced break-in fantasies was quickly replaced with a groggy version of himself in a wrinkled t-shirt and boxers, squinting in the dim light. 

Slowly, he took in the scene before him in pieces. Spidery crimson tracks spilling down pale skin and dripping onto waxed tile, collapsed shelving units spilling all manner of dried goods onto the floor, and a familiar, crazed look behind wide, dark pupils. He had dealt with this many times in the ER. Well, maybe not this, exactly, but he knew intoxication when he saw it. His hand hovered over the light switch to his right and he called out before clicking the buzzing fluorescents on above them, “You need some help.” A statement, not a question; carried with the arrogant weight of medical school behind it. “I can patch that up for you.” 

Stepping on bags of spices, Skylar took particular joy in watching as the dried herbs crumbled under her shoes. She ran her hand along the shelves, knocking more and more of the goods onto the ground, blood dripping across the crinkly bags. And then, she realized she wasn’t alone. Someone had entered from the back of the shop. Skylar spun around to look at him, tilting her head at him quizzically. “Help? I don’t need help, I have all the help I need.” She said with a giddy smile on her face, her teeth bright and gleaming in the lowlight. “Don’t want patches, nope, I don’t need another patchwork skin, nuh uh.” She said to herself, rubbing the sores on her arms as she spoke. She could feel something leaking from the raw abscesses that dotted her legs, but the pain was like a distant memory, far far away from her right now.

Bright white light washed over the store, revealing the full extent of the damage. Product littered the floor under the shifting soles of his unsteady guest. Cutler dropped his hand from the light switch and walked forward, sidestepping the lentil spillage by his feet. “Uh huh.” The wheels in his mind ground against each other, desperately trying to wake up in time to process the finer details of the situation that wouldn’t come together. Sharpened teeth inside a lazy grin and his front door still locked and unbroken; pieces of a puzzle that refused to click. “Can I take a look?” The wounds on her body were various levels of depth and severity, ranging from dark and old to bright and fresh. The whip-sharp crack of a brown paper bag crinkling under his foot caused him to freeze in place. He stared, cautious and gentle, afraid she would startle like a wild animal. His hand extended slowly, pale pink underside raised to her in timid surrender. “I’m not gonna hurt you. You know it makes it worse when you scratch them.” His voice continued in a muted string of comforting sound, filling the space between them. “Nothing intensive. Just get something on that ear, stop the bleeding. Do a once over for breaks and fractures, maybe disinfect those sores. If it’s food you want, I can get you some of that, too.” 

Skylar watched as the man continued to walk towards her, slow, so slow. She didn’t want to slow down, she didn’t want to pause to stop and think and let all the thoughts she’d left behind catch back up to her. She just wanted to ride this wild, cresting high as far as it would take her and this man? No, no, no, he seemed like he’d put a stop to it. When he asked to look at her, Skylar squinted at him. “Why?” She asked. He took another step and then froze for some reason that she wasn’t quite sure of. There was a muffled sound, but she couldn’t tell what it was. Running her finger tips around her ears, Skylar remembered why. “Oh, that makes sense.” She said, tapping the place where her hearing aids normally rested. Focusing back on the man, she laughed. “You can’t hurt me, even if you wanted to. Even if I wanted you to,” Skylar paused, staring down at the blood that covered her. Looking up at him abruptly, she asked, “Do you think I need help?” Cutler watched her fingers lower from her ears, slick with blood. There was no alarm in her face as they came away, only a laugh that felt discordant and wrong. Even if I wanted you to. When her eyes met his, he felt his heart clatter against his ribcage with deafening irregularity. Something distinctly inhuman looked back at him. Or maybe it was the lack of something. “I do.” He replied, hoping his honesty would cut through the frenetic, animalistic energy to the person behind it. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know. Accepting help.” 

Another step toward her. She was almost within his reach now. He blinked slowly, a prayer running across the back of his eyelids: Please don’t fight me. “At the very least, let me get some gauze on that. You’re bleeding all over my floor.” His hand reached up and touched his own ear instinctively, brushing against his full intact earlobe. He ran his tongue across the flat backs of his own teeth, feeling the square edges. Hers were definitely unnatural. Modified, maybe. “I haven’t even asked your name. How rude of me.” A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, echoing the grin he might have worn in lighter circumstances. “I’m Cutler. And you are?” 

He thought she needed help. But so had everyone else and that wasn’t what she’d wanted. Erin and Morgan and Leah and even Shiloh and Rio. They all said they wanted to help, but how could she know that? Skylar mulled over his words, tapping her fingers against her chin, ignoring the way the pads of her fingers stuck to her skin. All of them knew her, they all knew her and they knew what she was and who she was and even if they didn’t know why she was-- Skylar didn’t know why she was even though she could remember every pretty little pill she’d swallowed-- they knew what she should be. And this man didn’t. So maybe that made his help real. “Okay.” She said blithely, not realizing how much tension hung between the two of them. “Oh, but there is. Because people will help you and help you and help you and then one day, they leave. Because they’re too tired of putting up with all your shit and think it’s better to quit while they’re ahead.” She said earnestly. 

At the mention of his floors, Skylar glanced down to the mess of crushed herbs and ruined inventory that were spattered with a thick trail of blood. “Oh. Whoops. I have a lot,” She said with a nod, before gesturing around at the mess. “Of blood. Lots of blood. This is… probably okay.” She said with a shrug. Squinting at him, Skylar repeated his name. “Cut-ler.” She let out a slight giggle, wondering where her knife had gone. Cutler. She could make that literal. “I’m Skylar.” She said, before looking expectantly at him. “So, are you going to help me not bleed all over your floors?”

Cutler listened intently. Someone had hurt this girl, and he didn't intend to be the next in the long line of grievances she had suffered. "If people desert you, that's their shame. Not yours." The contempt in his voice bled through and he swallowed it back down into his stomach. "I'm not going anywhere."

He followed her gaze down to the floor, and back up to her nonchalant shrug. "That's me. You ever go by Sky? I've gone by Cut to my friends." His mouth moved on it's own, giving his mind a chance to catch up with the unreality of the situation. 

"It is a lot of blood, huh. Whooole lotta blood. Still limited supply, though." A deep sigh shot downward as his hands drifted to the resting spot on his hips where his apron drawstrings usually hung. He focused his gaze back on Skylar, unwilling to think about the cleanup he was going to have to do later. Alone, of course. No insurance company is gonna cover an illegal surgery. "Let's get something on that. I've got supplies back here. Gauze and tape and uh, all sorts of stuff. You need a hand?" 

Shrugging, Skylar’s mind wandered to all the people she’d loved, who’d left this place, who’d left her behind because they had to go. Nic and Winston and Remmy, they’d left. They hadn’t abandoned her, not the way Ricky and her parents had, but they’d left this town and they’d left her too. “Sometimes people leave and that’s just what happens. And then you’re left trying to figure out who you were without them.” Skylar said with a nod. 

“S-K-Y-E, yup. Just friends, though.” She said as she followed behind him, her footprints leaving thick smears against the linoleum flooring of the shop. At his question, she shook her head vigorously. “I don’t want a hand, nope, nope. Got two right here, don’t need more.” She said. “One of my friends kept losing their hands, but now they’re gone.” Skylar said, mostly to herself. “Gone, gone, gone.”

Cutler led the way to the back of the store, propping the EMPLOYEES ONLY door open with a coffee can of ice salt. “Alright, no hands. No problem.” Beyond the crack of the door, a grey cement room stared back at them, devoid of all the usual upholstery; no shelving, or paint, or tiling. The floor sloped ever so slightly downward, puckering at a large metal drain. Under the naked bulbs above him, he knelt to root through a box, pulling out various medical supplies and glancing over every so often to assess the damage. 

“Skylar.” He called back, tendons in his neck jumping with the strain. “What hurts? Can you tell me if anything hurts inside?” As he ambled back toward her, his gaze shifted from sympathetic to critical, mind kicking into higher gear. Silicon gloves rolled down his wrists and his hand paused inches from her lesioned arm, waiting for permission. “Is there any point in me telling you to get rest after this?” 

Skylar hadn’t been in the back rooms of many stores before, but she had a feeling that they didn’t look much like this. Staring around as he began to pull things out of a box, Skylar’s attention dropped back to the floor as she watched droplet after droplet of greyish red splash against the tile. They began to form a small trickle, flowing down, down, down the drain. At Cutler’s words, Skylar looked up and looked at him. “Nothing hurts. Nope, nope, can’t feel anything.” She said and, to prove it, she reached up with her fingers and grasped the chunk of her ear and pulled on it. Blood ran down her fingers, but she didn’t flinch because there wasn’t any pain to feel. It was all just light and bright and nothing at the same time. Holding out her arms, she shrugged. “I can rest. Sometimes I lie down in the woods for hours and hours.” She replied.

Cutler's lips parted in protest, too late to stop her from tugging on her ear. They came back together in a constricted wince. Crimson slick coated her hand and he redirected his attention from her unusual lesions to the fresh tear beside her face. "Okay. Alright. Let's clean this up." His voice was robotically measured, practiced bedside matter. Whether he was trying to steady her or himself, he wasn't entirely sure. "No pain is good. This still might sting, though. Let me know if you want me to stop."

The act of cleaning a wound is intimate by necessity. In close quarters, he could see the rise and fall of her chest below him and the heat of her skin under the sanitizing pad. He afforded her a gentle smile. It didn't say everything he wanted to say; that he too, had lain for hours in the forest while intoxicated. That he has, on more than one occasion, injured himself while drunk and mercifully felt no pain. Instead, he opted for a subtler approach. "Mhm. That sounds nice. Peaceful. Stay still for me if you can, Skylar." The skin of her neck started to become visible as he fastened a series of bandages to the area and wiped away the gore with soft, consistent movements. "Do you know what you took?"

Skylar was barely aware of the gauze pressed against her face. She could smell the sharp of the alcohol as it was used to clean her wounds, but the moment it touched her flesh, it felt like nothing at all. There was no pain, there was no pressure, there wasn’t even hot or cold. Her entire existence was just the manic thrum of excitement and giddy happiness that she had no control over. “Nope, it doesn’t hurt. You can keep doing your stuff.” She said and let Cutler wash away the blood. Sitting still was hard, but she managed it, even as her fingers felt like they wanted to sink into the nearest wall. She couldn’t do that, no, he wanted her to stay still. And he was helping her.

“Oh, it’s really nice. Really, really nice. Sometimes I’d just stay out there for days and days, because it was better than having to feel. But this, this is even better than that. Because I’m just so happy. So, so happy. I’ve never felt this happy before.” Skylar said breathily. At his question, Skylar grinned, remembering the way the pills had looked in the palm of her hand, the way the smoke had burned in her lungs, the soft burn of the Bliss as it ran through her veins. “Some pills, something in a cigarette, a mushroom or three and lots and lots of Bliss.” She said, her expression dreamy as she thought about the box of “supplies” she had stashed away back in her room. 

Cutler concentrated on not letting his concern bleed through his expressions as he listened, resisting the downturn of his mouth and darkening of his brow. His hands moved from wound to wound, adept at giving them exactly the amount of attention they needed before moving on. When he had addressed everything in his view, he extended the white bundle of gauze toward her. “If there’s anywhere else. Underneath your-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Of course he understood that sores don’t end at the boundaries of his patient’s clothing. It was more than likely that she had significant injuries that weren’t immediately visible. But she hadn’t come to him as a client, and he wasn’t about to start peeling clothing off a vulnerable woman, even to help her. “I need to make a quick call, anyhow. Do you mind?” His thumb was already swiping through a digital rolodex of old work contacts, distant friends, and exes. “I’ll be right over here, and you can call me if you need help. How does that sound?” 

Skylar didn’t notice the way that Cutler’s expression shifted, she was more focused on the way her fingers were wrapped in gauze. Already, she could see the tips of white beginning to darken as blood soaked through the cloth. What started out as pinpricks of color blossomed into thick circles and Skylar pressed her fingers against the side of the wall, watching as the blood spread through the gauze. As he handed her another roll of gauze, Skylar looked at it blankly for a moment before realizing what he was saying. That’s right, she had the gash-- a gaping slash, a gash-- on her side. Mm, she should take care of it.

With clumsy hands, Skylar slid her hands under her shirt and pressed the pad of gauze against her bleeding side. It was hard wrapping the bandages around, but she managed it after a bit of effort. At Cutler’s words, Skylar tilted her head. “What are you doing?” She asked, standing back up, the world shifting around her as she did. Her head felt light, lighter than air, as her vision went black round the edges, but she didn’t care. Taking a step forward, Skylar shook her head. “Who are you calling?” Doctors? Hunters? People who’d poke her, prod her, hurt her, kill her? No, no, no. 

Cutler’s eyes only flicked down to his hand for a moment, enough to dial but not enough time for his impromptu patient to injure herself further. He hoped. Next to his ear, the phone rang out. Once, twice. In his periphery, Skylar wrapped the gauze around her body. She looked strangely fragile in the unshaded bulbs; white fluorescents piercing sickly pale skin to sharp bone underneath. “I’m just making a call.” His chin tilted upward, speaking away from the still-ringing cell. Before he could come up with a lie that she would accept-not that he thought he had one ready-the soft click over the phone alerted him to the presence of someone on the other end. 

He shifted away slightly, hoping the broad slopes of his shoulders would shield the storage room from the soft words he was speaking into the phone. “Hi, it’s Cut. Sorry about the hour. Yeah, yeah, long time. Listen, I need a favour. Do you still work at the Crisis Response Unit? I’ve got a young woman here who’s in distress. No cops, she just needs-” He was interrupted by scuffling behind him, turning just in time to see Skylar getting to her feet. She swayed so slowly that the room seemed to tilt with her. “Skylar-” His protest died in his throat as she lurched forward with surprising intensity, causing him to take a mirroring step backward. She was substantially smaller than him, but something in her eyes caused his heart to leap to his throat. It took another step forward for him to recognize it. Hatred. “It’s just an old friend. She might be able to help you. Better than I can.” 

As the man turned his back on her, Skylar’s ears strained to pick up his hushed tones. She couldn’t pick up specifics, but her mind was already buzzing with possibilities of who was on the other line. Her eyes flicked around wildly, looking at the strange utensils that were laid out neatly on the table he’d taken her to. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered that this was… a store. A shop in the center of town. With packets of chips and gum but also scissors and scalpels and gauze and gloves. Lips curling into a feral grimace, Skylar reached out and grabbed one of the shiny silvery tools from the table and pointed it at Cutler.

“Put down the phone.” Skylar said clearly, glaring at him while blood pounded in her ears. She could stab at him, plunge the tip of the scalpel into his chest over and over and over. She could lunge at him and bury her teeth into the soft flesh of his throat. She could rip him to pieces, she could hurt him, hurt him the way that Hunters wanted to hurt her. A trap, was this all a trap? “I don’t want your friend’s help-- I don’t, I don’t even want your help.” She sneered, tempted to rip the cotton gauze from her hands just to prove it to him. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I could. I could want to hurt you.” She said with another laugh, shaking her head. “So just, just put down the phone.”

The voice on the other end of the line began to rise into a higher register, tinny treble crackling through the rectangular mic at the bottom of the screen. “I’m completely fine. No one’s gonna hurt anyone here. Let me call you back.” Cutler spoke the words loudly and clearly, hoping the slight shaking his hand didn’t translate to his voice. Light flashed off the thin reflective blade of the scalpel. It was a tiny little thing, almost dwarfed in her white knuckle grip, but it could do serious damage. He knew that better than anyone. 

“I’m putting it down.” The phone clattered to the cement floor, sending a nervous jolt through his body. Nice, Cutler. “I don’t think-” His tongue felt heavy against his sticky-dry lips, struggling to form the words he wanted to say. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. And I don’t think you really want to hurt me. If you did, you would have done it by now, right? You’ve had plenty of chances.”

Skylar watched as the man spoke, her eyes trained on him. The lights were bright and sharp around the two of them and it made the scalpel in her fingers glimmer like quicksilver. Liquid in her fingers, she could let it flash out, once, twice, a hundred times, she thought. She could let it slither from her grasp and embed itself into the man’s body, she could watch the blood flow, so slow, down down down the drain. It would be so easy, so quick. A sliver of silver, a knife, a life. The dull thudding of the phone against the floor brought her back to her senses and Skylar nodded. “Yup, it’s down.” She said before kicking out a foot, sending the phone skittering away.

“I could, I could. Everyone could. Everyone wants to hurt people, everything’s only ever wanted to hurt me. Why shouldn’t I hurt someone else? Why shouldn’t I be just like them?” Skylar asked, though the scalpel was already lowering in her hand. She didn’t want to. She didn’t really want to do that. Her arms felt weary, heavier than they’d felt in… well, she couldn’t remember. But the weight of the sharp blade in her fingers felt as though it was dragging her to the floor, pulling her down. “I never wanted to be like this.” She said gesturing to herself with the scalpel, hands waving wildly. “I thought I was normal. I thought everyone was normal. But it’s not and I’m not and I’m just some… thing. Some kind of monster.” Skylar said before letting out a watery laugh. Swiping at her face with her free hand, Skylar wondered when she’d started crying-- why was she even crying? There was nothing to be sad about, nothing to feel. “I-- I…” She stammered, shaking her head as she backed away towards the door she’d come from. Tossing the scalpel away, she looked at the man, mind caught between the urge to charge at him and to run far, far away from him. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.” She said, shaking as she turned around and ran.

Cutler watched a thousand emotions pass over Skylar’s face in an instant. One well-placed slash with the scalpel in her hand and it could be over for him. The karmic balancing of the scales; a fitting end for him, maybe. But she wasn’t going to. He could see it even before her arm started to lower. She was at breaking point, tears overflowing their hitch-breath confines and words spilling out of her, stream-of-consciousness. “I know.” He said softly. And he did. He knew that she wouldn’t let him help. That she was leaving, and there was nothing he could do to stop her. “I know.” 

For a moment, it appeared as if she had changed her mind and decided to tackle him anyway and he tensed, ready to parry or dodge whatever she threw at him, including herself. At the last second, she pivoted, running by him in close quarters. A quicker man might have blocked the door. A stronger man might have reached a hand out to stop her as she passed. Cutler was neither of these things. Instead, he just watched her go.

[shhhlikeme]

Nin’s Matchup!

(SFW + NSFW)

Matchup Profile: Sfw+nsfw matchup pretty pls! (1/5) Name: Nin>Female>5’4>Film & sfx/theatrical makeup freelancer>V athletic in MS-HS: ballet, was in volley ball, soccer &Basketball teams>Miss my prime days>Scared to start workout again b/c I’ll get lightheaded>If sum1 helps push me through initial fear, I’ll keep growing from there> Likes chilling in ballet stretch poses>paints, photographs&draws as hobby>draws a pic a day (mostly portraits)>writing a comic atm >Always plan contingencies.🦄

(2/5) >embarrassed of my loud laugh(it’s like Kuroo’s)>introvert>not afraid to lead a team tho> V shy & quiet most times>8/10 times, feels awk in public,like idk what i’m saying, but others told me I seem social>Once I’m comfy w/ u, i joke a lot(occasional mum jokes 2 annoy+Sassy dirty ones w/ S/O)>hides behind ppl who likes 2 talk, but not when they’re 2 loud>laughs @ mistakes/when embarrassed>Will stop mistreatment, even if I get in trouble>values communication&genuine discussions🦄

(3/5) Sings when home alone>competes @ Street Fighter tournaments, trains everyday 4 it>Sings “Hit Me W/ Your Best Shot” when fighting bosses in game&swears melodically when i lose>eats chips w/ chopsticks >make hats out of my cat fur when bored>Workahokic night🦉>likes 2 teach >full convos w/ my 🐱>LIVES in oversized hoodies & flip flops, regardless of weather>no pants@home!>Feels incompetent sometimes, but keep practicing 2 improve>Analytical fast learner>idk why ppl think i look innocent🦄

(4/5)>Forgets 2 speak eng when tired (Thai 1st lang.)>Headrubs 4 s/o every night b4 bed>will miss u but is bad@texting>yelps like puppy when I’m surprised>Unconventionally resourceful: Wire hangers’s fixes everything! >stress bakes & will gets pouty if it didn’t turn out well.>overwhelmed to water my 50+ 🌱 >Doodles on smt (always have a pen on me)when i feel socially anxious> 2 dance sober @ clubs> Wants a stable relationship where we work tgt like a team to bring out the best in one another🦄

(5/5) I like a s/o who is lovable, kind, genuine, mature, independent and caring, but can also joke & be silly with like best friends. NSFW: open 2 try new things>❤️restraints, blindfolds & sensual tickle sex (as lee+ler) but had always been too shy to share it with any1>occasionally self conscious of food baby+stretchmarks>🥰edging/teasing >has a thing 4 height differences (likes to feel smol lol!) & primal play.>Is a switch. I’m so sorry if it’s too much info! Thank you for doing this!🦄

————————————

A/N: HI LOVE @crushzone !!!! I SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS GIRL I WORKED HARD ON YOURS OF COURSE💖 But no matter whaaaat I’m going to be very authentic in my matchups bc they’re based on compatibility and therefore, without further ado, lemme introduce you to your NEW BAE:

————————————

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 🦉

SFW:

so you’re a theatrical makeup artist.

Aight.

Mind if I offer you a word of advice? :

RUN

“DUDE THAT’S AMAZING IT LOOKS SO SICK!”

Startled by someone’s loud booming voice, you smudged the eyeliner you were applying to your actor’s face all over their forehead. Whipping around to see who had disrupted your work you were faced with a beautiful black and grey haired owl. A rather tall... and very attractive ‘beautiful black and grey haired owl.’

He started walking around the dressing room like he owned the place, touching everything.

“Excuse me, you don’t have a badge. You can’t be backstage—!”

“Pretty obvious don’t you think, Miss ________?”

You didn’t take his bait, refusing to give this stranger your name. Bokuto shrugged.

“Well since I don’t know your name I shall label thee—Miss HOT GIRL of the 9 Kingdoms!” He nudged the knight actor who was sitting in your makeup chair with his elbow. “Did I sound 15th century ish or what??” The owl turned to you expecting to be praised. “I had to meet the person who made the medieval vampire look so scary in the last act. But that guy with the lights didn’t tell me anything about you being so hot.”

You were speechless because he was hot too

But he shouldn’t be back here so you tried to shoo him out anyway

He allowed you to try to shove him out but he was way bigger than you so nice try sis

When he yawned while you panted because you weren’t able to budge him an inch....

Bokuto wagered that he would leave if you agreed to make him look like the Hulk with your makeup skills for a Halloween party he had to go to

You didn’t really want to because you were a professional and you had no idea who this owl was but because you had 15 minutes until the second act and you needed peace and quiet if you were going to finish your job!!! ....

( This boy was not peace NOR quiet )

You agreed.... but because you answered so fast Bokuto kicked it up one notch

Prince of pushing his luck (king is reserved for Shōyo‘s extra ass)

He pretended to allow you to push him out of the makeup room a few steps but before you closed the door he stuck his foot between the door so it couldn’t close.

Smiling, he peered back in, looking down at you:

“AND...... you have to agree to go on a date with me. Tomorrow night?”

“Ugh FINE!”

Bo removed his foot and let himself out with a bounce in his step.

SERIOUSLY WHO LET THIS MAN BACKSTAGE......

Needless to say, after a few dates, mans won you over like he wins EVERYONE over

It surprised you how comfortable you became with him but he just has that affect on people

***

In terms of your athletic relationship Bokuto does many things:

He pushes you to go to the gym with him for one

He signs the two of you up for impromptu Beginner 30-day challenges that you both must stick to

So every morning for 30-days straight he jumps on you in bed to wake you up:

“NIN BABY TIME TO HIT THE GYM. BABY NIN TIME TO GET IN SOME SEXY GYM SHORTS. MON BÉBÉ NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN—“

“Kōtarō, please shut up.”

he doesn’t

He drags you there and eventually you get back into the swing of things.. killing it in the weight room with your supportive man cheering on your every rep!

You don’t even need him to wake you up during the second challenge!

Your volleyball player boyfriend also signs you up (without permission) for the neighborhood soccer team that Akaashi’s girlfriend is already on

You hated it at first because it was uncomfortable going back after not playing for so long but you soon realized that all the girls there were ex-athletes too and not stars

You formed amazing new girl friendships (especially with Akaashi’s gf) and double dates with them were one of your favourite nights of the week!

You owed that happiness in your life all to your Owl 🦉🥰

He and Akaashi came to every soccer game y’all had and you and the three of you went to all of Bokuto’s games, obviously

Btw you all were FITTTTTT OML

***

In addition...

You already know that your man finds your artistic talents insanely fascinating

On your first anniversary together Bokuto gifted you with a new paint set and new French stand:

Because he admires you Bokuto also tries to draw and paint seriously just like you

You stand over his shoulder and give him corrections and baby owl learns so fast it’s amazing

You two make ‘paint night’ a thing when you move in together and it’s always the most fun event!!!!

Bokuto CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY asks for you to add him to the comic you’re writing but you say no because he wouldn’t fit in

He sulks but one day you surprise him by showing him that you drew a cute soaring black and gray owl in the background of almost every outdoor scene in your comic,

you pointed out that it was him

BOKUTOOOO WAS SOOOOO HAPPY

HE WAS SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS

He called Akaashi right away and almost cried tears of joy hahahahaha

***

Your contingent based lifestyle has saved your reckless boyfriend’s life and career many-a-times

It’s one of the things he loves most about you.

Also, it is important to mention that he is in LOVE with your laugh

Bby owl does anything to hear it and showers your face with kisses when you laugh to draw it out

He loves you so freaking much

When you don’t make sense and speak gibberish in public because your awkward side randomly comes out......your boyfriend loves to make fun of you:

“Huh? Nin, that wasn’t Japanese, that wasn’t Thai and that definitely wasn’t English. What planet is my adorable baby girl from, again? And how do I return her in exchange for a floating space car instead?!”

suh cute

All of Bokuto’s teammates really like you because you work in conjunction with Akaashi which means you actually have the magic ability to get Bokuto out of emo mode even faster than his best friend 🤯🤯🤯

When he’s at an away game in emo mode his teammates will literally FaceTime you and point their phone in his general direction

“Hey, Kōtarō!!!! Look, Nin’s on the phoneeee!”

Bby owl turns around slowly when he was sulking in the corner and when he sees you on the screen he’s running and jumping on whoever is holding your phone.”

“Kōtarō baby. You’re going to stop this emo mode right now. If not I won’t let you paint me nude like we discussed.”

mans was like: 😨😨😨😨🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

YEP the next second you see him hitting his best practice spikes and his teammate thanks you profusely

You do this several times until Kōtarō just knows to not go into emo mode anymore because you won’t be happy

A year into his professional volleyball career The Black Jackal’s coach sent a surprise fruit bouquet to your work one time:

With a note that read:

To Nin,

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Love,

The Team

***

I know you don’t really like people who are considered “too loud” and Bokuto is like...... “MEGA LOUD 🎙 “ but you and Akaashi work together to quiet your boy down as he gets older

He’s perfect

And you love him

***

OKAY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST day THING:

You know how you like standing up for people (even strangers) and stuff?

Well one day, you and Bokuto get caught on a show called WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Where the two of you cussed out this cat-abusing actor on the show in a convincing scenario!

It was PRICELESS

Bokuto literally tells everyone that y’all are movie stars because of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

***

More in the relationship:

Bo is always singing with you 💞 when y’all make breakfast it becomes a national sport to sing at the top of your lungs!!

And when he sees you eat chips with chopsticks he’s pulling a Hinata “🤩🤩🤩” face .

He begs you to teach him how

So you try

......and try

..................and try

He can’t do it bruv 😞

You see bby Owl’s emo mode return for the first time in like a year when the chip shatters between his sticks again

This time, you have to enlist Akaashi as the FaceTime saviour and Keiji just tells him:

“Bokuto. You should prefer eating chips with your hands anyway. It gets to your mouth faster.”

cue Bo’s 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 face

........And all is well again

There’s more:

So you’re a workaholic?

Bokuto is fine with that. He just makes you promise that he gets to take you out on your lunch breaks a few times a week or whenever he can

He’s so sweet and your coworkers are BIG jealous of your relationship

Your man BEGSSSSS you to teach him Thai but you find it too hard so when he’s travelling on a long flight he spends the time learning the language on YouTube (and actually get decent at it) so that he can understand you when you’re sleepy😴🥺💕

When Bokuto surprises you by wishing you goodnight in Thai before he falls asleep (while you’re giving him head rubs), your heart explodes BECAUSE why is he the cutest thing in the world ?!?!?!

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION:

You don’t text/you’re bad at texting? That’s fine, mainly because bby owl is so busy with volleyball anyway, but if you don’t text him back when he is feeling needy the boy will call you 20 times in a row

When you finally pick up, your heart is beating like thinking it’s an emergency

But he will answer saying:

“Oh, no emergency. I just want booty pics. Please, Nin babyyyyy?”

you’re like: 😑

ANOTHER CUTE THING YOUR MAN DOES?????

AIGHT:

It’s cringey but.......

When you’re at work all day doing makeup and he’s home he will send you pics throughout the day of him taking care of your plants like they are y’alls newborn children:

His text:

Baby look!!! Ollie the Orchid grew to 7 inches today!!! Yesterday he was 6.8 inches!!!!! They grow up so fast 😭😭😭”

Your reply:

Not quite as long as your dick, Bo

His reply:

I hate when you get me horny when I’m trying to take care of the kiiiids 😭😭😭😭

Dkm

Of all the factors you look for in a man, Bokuto has all of them

Like I said he becomes much more mature when you and Akaashi are his closest compadres

What people don’t know is that Kōtarō is actually very mature he is just a hardcore optomist (besides emo mode lmao) so people often mistake him as immature or dumb

But He’s far from it and you see that everyday

It’s why you fell for him

When dealing with serious issues that life has to handle, you see a different side of Bokuto, a real side, the side he shows in every tough volleyball game when he makes you metaphorically step behind him so he can deal with any problem that comes your way

He would literally withstand all your battles if that meant you’d remain happy forever

We stan a relationship like yours💞

NSFW:

okay so you know how you chill in ballet 🩰 stretches sometimes?

THAT DRIVES KŌTARŌ WILD.

It turns him on so much and he is constantly testing how flexible you are in the bedroom

When you keep meeting his expectations he is POUNDING you cause he is so turned on

He fucking loves it

It also turns him on when you’ll be acting shy and stuff but then randomly you’ll lead your neighbourhood soccer team like a BAD BITCH

When he sees that he’s already asking Akaashi how long until the game ends because he’s horny:

Akaashi deadpans. “Too much information. And the game just started 3 minutes ago. Get a water and calm yourself.”

Bo is sad but it makes for one hell of a I’m-proud-of-you sexscape when you get home from your game!!

Your dirty jokes also turn Bokuto on.

A lot.

A lot a lot:

“Bo.....I was joking.”

“I know but if I hear the word ‘dick’ coming out of your mouth I automatically think of you blowing me so now I want us to go home.” He whines.

You sigh. He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.

When you’re playing street fighter every night this boy will not leave you alone until you cockwarm him

“Nin can you pleaseeeeee warm my cock while you train? I miss you.”

Your concentration turns him on so he has to ask nicely 😊

You love his dick so of course you oblige

Bby owl is so happy just sitting there being in your company and in your warmth but sometimes or every time he ends up thrusting into you

Sometimes while he’s giving you deep slow thrusts he orders you to keep playing or he won’t get you off

Damn 🤤

Let’s not forget also that you drive your man wild by walking around the house in hoodies all the time and nothing else

Every day, another hoodie will be found in various RANDOM places in the house because Bo flings it off you before he makes love to you wherever, and they go missing

Finally, when you get all sad and pouty because one of your baker trials goes to shit (ruined chocolate brownies this time, boo 💔), your boyfriend is taking your hand gently in an instant, leading you to the bedroom:

“Don’t be sad my beautiful girl, you know how much I hate seeing you sad. It makes me sad.! Here, come in the room and sit on my face—I promise I’ll make you feel better.”

WELL DAMN—😳💦

Maybe you should screw up brownie recipes more often.

————————————

A/N: do you know the show what would you do??? Watch it on YouTube if you haven’t haha I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Bokuto being on it after reading your matchup profile!!!! I hope you liked it bb! Give me all your reactions, I want all the smoke 💞💞💞

[skyechaser]

Silence in Atlas (14/?)

Once more, this is a dark take on Volume 7 from a Bumbleby standpoint. It has scenes of graphic violence. If there are any specific trigger warnings I will specify it. 

I can’t believe everything that has happened recently. I reblogged THREE SIA fanarts THIS WEEK. I am at loss of words. THANK YOU SO MUCH to @kusnilive, @alie-black-cat-ler​, @tregi08​, @panic-in-bumbleby​ and @tehultimatefreakrobot​ for your support and love for SIA. I love all of your collaborations to this crazy tale.  I will slow down on the updates a bit, I’m having some busy days, but I’ll try to keep it at least a couple a week. LOVE YOU ALL! ONTO THE CHAPTER!

-------------------------

When the airship landed, Blake woke up startled. Her body started shaking. Her eyes could not adjust to the light and she didn’t know where she was. The last thing she remembered was Yudok punching her in the side of the head. Then it was just a blur. She was so dizzy.

“Blake” someone called her name in a voice that sounded way too familiar. “Its okay. It's me”. The alluded one turned around to see lilac eyes looking at her with the uttermost concern. Her body ceased shaking as she remembered what had happened. This was Yang. Yang had found her. Yang had rescued her from hell. Blake leaned her head against the crook of the blonde’s neck and took a deep breath. Yang’s smell was so soothing. This was her safe place. Nothing could go wrong here. She could feel the other girl’s heartbeat against her ear. Yang hugged her lightly.

“It’s over” she whispered. 

Blake closed her eyes tight and the image of Agape came to her. Yudok beating the life out of her. Was she dead? A part of her wanted to believe that somehow her friend had survived. She opened her eyes as a question popped up in her mind. What had happened to all the other faunus in the mine? She sat up, looking Yang deep in her eyes, a look of concern in them. The blonde quickly understood and nodded, needing no words to get what the other one was worried about.

“The rest of the faunus were rescued by the military. There’s no one left in Staub”. She found some sort of relief in Yang’s words. All those faunus were finally out of hell. They were finally free. She expected no less from her partner. Blake smiled weakly through all the pain and sadness.

“We are going to go to the military hospital to get you checked out. Okay?” the blonde asked. Blake nodded in response. Yang was confused. Why wasn't she talking back to her? Now that she remembered, she hadn't heard Blake's voice back at Staub either. She thought it was just the shock but why wasn't she talking now?

“What’s the matter?” Yang asked finally, confused at Blake’s silence. The faunus lowered her gaze. She didn't know how the blonde would react to the truth. She could imagine her face, twisted  into absolute horror and concern when she learned what The Traders had done to her. She should just get it over with. Blake lowered her ears and pointed at the badly healed wound on her neck. She opened her mouth and a raspy indistinguishable noise came out. 

The realization hit Yang like a fucking truck. 

The Traders had done something to Blake to prevent her from speaking. Not only had they starved her, beaten her, humiliated her and sold her like cattle. No. They had left her mute.

“You can’t speak?” a voice asked. It was Jaune, walking towards them. He had tried his best to heal Blake with his semblance but had to give up after a while. Her aura was so weak it was impossible to amplify any further. He felt useless. All he could do was heal little scratches.

“From that scar I’d say they cut her vocal cords” Maria added, leaving the cockpit and moving towards Blake. She inspected the wound on her neck. They had closed it with so little care the skin had started to cover the sutures. It looked infected. “I saw this long ago in a friend of mine. He was a faunus too and had escaped from slavers. I didn’t think this was still going on. This is just… Wrong”.

Yang wanted to break something. She wanted to see the world burn. They had cut Blake’s vocal cords. They had silenced her so she wouldn’t scream as they tortured her. How sick were this people? What else had Blake endured in those fucking eight days? She should have just killed them all. Beat them until they bled and then set them on fire.

This couldn't be happening.

She was never going to hear Blake’s voice again. She’d never hear her say her name again in that sweet and loving way she had started getting used to. She’d never hear her say I love you. Yang wanted to believe it was possible to bring Blake back from the darkness but what was she supposed to do about this? Every second she was alive and couldn’t speak was a reminder of her time in hell. This was something she could not rescue her from.

“We’ll talk to Ironwood” Qrow proposed. “Maybe his people can find a way to help her”.

Maybe, a word that said so much but also so little. Yang looked Blake in the eyes. She loved her so much. She had to believe things would get better. Maybe, Qrow had said and it echoed in her head. She would hold on to that maybe with all she had. There had to be a way to help her. There had to be a way back to normal.

“So, let’s get going. The military hospital is a short walk away” Maria said, leaving the airship.

Yang held Blake close to her chest and stood up, the shackles in the faunus’ feet making a metallic noise as they rubbed against each other. She had to get her out of those fucking things. It was so hard to believe the faunus had been wearing them for eight days. Her ankles and wrists had blood coming from under the metal that covered them.

Blake leaned against the blonde’s chest, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to think Yang was the only other existing person in the world. That was the only way she could feel something close to peace as they walked out into the street.   

----------------

They took Blake away when they arrived at the hospital. Yang didn’t want to let her go but the doctors could do more than her in that moment. They had to stabilize her and run tests to see the extent of the damage and how to treat her. She was sitting in the waiting room with Jaune, Qrow and Maria. The rest of the team was on it’s way. They hadn’t really told them the whole picture, just that they had found her and where they were. None of them had the strength to tell them how serious Blake’s status was.

Silence. No one dared say a word. What could they say? Give each other hope? Say everything would be alright? They all knew those were lies. Yang sat on the couch, leaning on her knees, her hands holding her head. All she wanted was for a doctor to come and tell her the truth. She wanted to know how bad things were. She wanted to be able to help.

“Yang!” Ruby called as she walked into the waiting room, Weiss, Nora, Ren and Oscar behind her. The alluded one didn’t even budge so she moved closer and called her once more. “Yang”. 

“Hey” the blonde replied, moving her head upwards to look at her sister. She didn’t know what to say. 

“Any news on Blake?” Nora asked. Qrow moved his head sideways.

“Not yet” he replied. “They are still stabilizing her”.

“How is she?” Ren said, the only one brave enough to make the question they all wanted answered but didn’t dare ask themselves. It took several seconds before someone replied.

“She’s in pretty bad shape” Yang explained and somehow her words seemed like an understatement. “She couldn’t really tell us what happened to her because they cut her vocal cords. She can’t speak”.

“What?” Weiss exclaimed. “Are you serious? I… I don’t… That’s just horrible”. She thought of her father, untouched by the law and buying faunus from The Traders to work in his mines. No wonder the White Fang had been after them for so long. She felt ashamed of her own last name. Ashamed that there was a time she ever thought the faunus were not her equals. How dare she resent them when humans did this sort of thing?

The room fell silent. All of them trying to process what had just been said. Ruby sat down next to her sister and placed a hand on her shoulder. Yang looked up to meet Ruby’s silver gaze. 

“You brought her back” she said. “You found her”. There was so much pain in the blonde’s eyes that Ruby wanted to cry. They had all been so worried about Blake since she went missing. Finding out what had happened to her was both heartbreaking and infuriating. If the way her sister looked was any indicator, things were very serious.  

“Are you Blake Belladonna’s family?” a male voice asked. A young doctor had made his way into the waiting room. Yang stood up so fast she got a head rush.

“Yes. I’m her girlfriend” she said and it surprised no one. The doctor took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingers before speaking.

“I’m doctor Yu, I’m her main doctor. We’ve stabilized her. She’s not in any immediate danger” he said. Yang didn’t relax at the statement. She knew better by now. “However...”. There it was. “...Her recovery is going to take some time. She has several broken ribs and deep wounds where the shackles used to be. The thing in her neck was some sort of shock collar and it caused a severe burn that got infected. Her body is weak from dehydration. We have her on antibiotics and...”

“What about her voice?” Weiss asked, interrupting the doctor and walking towards Yang. He moved his head sideways.

“Before we can even think of doing any corrective surgery we need to heal everything else. The damage to her vocal cords is… extensive”.

“Can we see her?” Ruby asked.

“She’s gonna be out for a while. We need her to rest until her aura can start helping with the healing process…”

“Can we see her?” Ruby repeated. The doctor looked at everyone in the waiting room. They all had concerned looks on their faces. That was for sure a large family. He nodded.

“Follow me”.

[franklyshipping]

The Cutest Arrogance ~ A Markiplier and Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic

OKAY SO THIS ONE IS A COMBO OF TWO ASKS FROM TWO DIFFERENT ANONS WHO REQUESTED LEE ANTI AND LER WILFORD FICS. ONE PROMPT WAS ANTI BEING ARROGANT SAYING HE CAN HANDLE TICKLES WITHOUT REACTING, SO WILFORD PROVES HIM WRONG IN FRONT OF SOME ONLOOKERS, AND HE SECOND WAS ANTI BEING CHEEKY AND BANTERY WITH WILFORD WHICH SPURS WILFORD TO TICKLE THE HELL OUT OF HIM! LET'S DO THIIISSS!!!

TAGGING: @anti-switch-glitch @yandere-ipli-ler @silvlee-shepherd and @thehostofleetrature

It was a cool day to be around Wilford Warfstache. Why? Because that man was at the peak of his energies and was babbling away about anything and everything, and basically putting the world to rights with his logic. He already had a number of spectators. The polyamory of Yandere, Host and Silver Shepherd, or as I call them Yanostiver, were snuggled on a couch and giggling as Wilford paced back and forth in the living room. He had a martini in one hand, a fez on his head, and passion in his heart.

'Right, right, right so I was SHOOK! You think you know what it is to be shocked but then something of this MAGNITUDE and RARITY happens that it knocks the badonkas off your hula-hoops!'

The three on the couch giggled, honestly Wilford was the funniest person on the planet and even though it may not seem like it....listening to him babble like this was actually quite relaxing. He wasn't too loud, his warbling voice was smooth, and all in all it was like having a mad adventure story read out to you before bed-time. The other spectator Anti, who was in his own chair, was loving it just as much as the others; he snickered when Wilford slurped at his drink before continuing.

'I mean c'mon! The most stoic of us all! THE Google IRL is ticklish and couldn't hold it back! I mean this is just the final proof that NO-ONE can hide their ticklishness! I mean c'mon he's the master droid of serious techy schmeck-schmeck, if he can't hold back his giggles then no-one can!'

Wilford was very resolute in this. A little while ago he'd had an altercation with Google that resulted in them having a little tussle, which just by chance allowed Wilford to discover the droid's ticklishness. He'd been telling EVERYONE he saw about it with the greatest glee imaginable. Everyone had also agreed with him....until now. Until Anti. Anti very much disagreed with Wilford, because in his own mind....he thought himself to be the exception to Wilford's conclusion. He'd scoffed at Wilford's words, thus attracting the man's attention. Wilford raised an eyebrow at the lounging glitch.

'What? You think I'm wrong do ya glitchy?'

Wilford smiled challengingly, to which Anti narrowed his eyes with a broad smirk, arrogant as ever.

'No I don't think you're wrong, I KNOW you're wrong. And you're looking at the proof riiight here Warfy.'

Anti opened his arms with a giggle, and this time it was Wilford who scoffed, folding his arms across his chest.

'That is such bull malarkey!'

Anti sneered, standing up and deciding to pace around Wilford as he giggled. The man was in a very delighted, smug mood today, feeling on top of the world and thus on top of everyone in it. He crooned at the moustached man whose playfully glaring eyes followed him acutely.

'Awww, someone's a little sourpuss! Don't like being proved wrong?'

If Anti and Wilford hadn't been so focused on one another, they would have heard Yandere murmuring the words 'sick burn' before they, and their writer and hero, giggled to themselves whilst observing the scene. Wilford's upper lip quivered, threatening to let a growl escape as he replied snarkily.

'No, but this time I'm NOT being proved wrong. I've tickled you before....and I didn't imagine your pretty shrieks.'

That made Anti straighten up, warmth threatening the reach his cheeks as Wilford's chuckles echoed in his ears. Anti had a plan though, and idea that he figured Wilford would find believable; he was NOT going to lose this conflict.

'That may be, but that's only because you managed to get me when I wasn't prepared, when I didn't see you coming. If I know it's about to happen, I can hold back anything and everything, no matter WHAT you do. I'm not weak like you after all.'

Anti figured he sounded convincing. He hoped he sounded convincing.....FUCK did he sound convincing? He maintained his glittering smirk, his teeth glinting with a strong sense of ferality. Wilford blinked a few times at his words....especially those last few. Those made him step towards Anti, and soon they were nose to nose as Wilford snarled.

'How the hell am I weak?!'

Anti let out a giggle....ohh he'd been hoping Wilford was going to ask that. In one swift motion he snagged the martini from Wilford's hand and did a twirl....and when he spoke it came out in the most exaggerated, warbled tone that you ever did hear. Wilford's eyes widened as he realised....Anti had the audacity....to mock him.

'Oh dear GOLLYKINS not my sweet sultry hipbones I couldn't POSSIBLY handle such EVIL tickly wicklies from someone as OH SO SKILLED as you Anti!!! Oh dear MALARKY! PLEASE! I SHALL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DEAR BOY IF ONLY YOU HAVE MERCY!!!'

Wilford was frozen in shock, blushing very hard very fast as he bowed his head. Okay....maybe on the few occasions that Anti had tickled him he'd had to resort to begging for mercy BUT there was no way in heck that he EVER spoke like that under any sort of circumstances! Anti was just being rude! Wilford's head soon snapped to their spectators however when he heard a splutter and a series of giggles, and he glared menacingly at Silver Shepherd, who had elicited the amused reaction. He growled, which made the hero squeak and hide in the shoulders of his lovers. Wilford turned back to Anti, who was now letting out incoherent warbles as he chugged down his martini.

'Sh-shut the hell u-up! I do NOT t-talk like that!'

Anti grinned at Wilford, now cackling like a madman as he approached him and pushed the empty martini glass into Wilford's hand with a wink.

'Y'know it's cute....in a pathetic sort of way.'

Anti had started turning away from Wilford, presumably to saunter out of the room with an air of satisfaction and victory. Well, Wilford Warfstache was NOT having that! He dropped the glass, safely on the carpet, and gripped Anti's forearm to bring him back into his chest.

'Well if you're so damn strong, I'd SO love to learn from you. Why don't you show me how tough you can be?'

Anti had gasped and snarled at being grabbed....but now....now his intimidating, smarmy demeanour....just had a slight quiver. Wilford never just threatened. He always, ALWAYS acted on everything, even if it was just a random suggestion that his brain generated. Anti was not going to let this happen, hell no, especially not in front of three people who he could feel were observing them with the greatest attentiveness. So...he cheated slightly. He glitched out of Wilford's grip, re-appearing a few feet away, and sneered.

'I don't have to prove myself to anyone.'

Anti was in the process of turning around towards the main door out of the room, a little surprised that Wilford hadn't bolted after him straight away....but as he faced the door, he realised why. He didn't know when or how....but Yandere was stood there. Their arms were folded and their shining ruby lips were set into quite the excited smirk.

'Actually Anti dear....there are a few of us who think that you really SHOULD prove yourself.'

Anti's eyes widened, especially when he heard Wilford chuckling behind him. He glared at Yandere before hurriedly glitching to the smaller door, the one other exit out of the room.....fuck. That goddamn righteous hero, clad in silver, copied Yandere's stance and spoke with a light giggle.

'You're not going anywhere.'

Anti had half a mind to barge past, his mind still wondering how the hell Yandere and Silver had gotten to the doors so fast....when the sound of someone snapping their fingers in the air made him realise. The snap was followed by two clicks....aka, the two doors locking. The Host. Anti swivelled round and was about to launch himself at the smirking writer, before he felt Wilford's arms wrap around him from behind.

'I think it would be rude to deny such a lovely audience.'

Anti struggled, and after a mere blink of his eye Silver and Yandere were snuggling once more with the Host, all of them eager eyed....well, the Host's inner mental eye was eager in his case. Luckily, there was another couch in the room, which Wilford swiftly pushed Anti onto with a growing enthusiasm in his eyes. Anti repressed and whine when Wilford sat on his thighs. He had no way to escape now....so Anti new he just had to....hope his lie might come true in his moment of need. He pursed his lips as he looked up at Wilford.

'I.....need to get into my zone.'

Wilford raised an eyebrow down at him, grinning happily.

'We have aaaaall the time in the world.'

Anti lightly glared up at Wilford...both of them knew what was going on, but of course, Wilford just had to make it a game. Anti knew this was Wilford getting revenge on him for being an ass....but he sure as hell wasn't going to make it easy. Anti took some deep breaths, then muttered.

'.....ready.'

Wilford giddily clapped his hands together.

'Excellent! Arms above your head if you please! I'm sure you'll have no difficulty in keeping them there.'

Wilford smirked, and Anti pursed his lips when he heard a few background chuckles. He raised his arms above his head and clenched his fists, focusing on looking at the ceiling as he felt Wilford's fingers push at his t-shirt. Soon, his entire tummy was exposed for all to see, and Wilford was very gleeful.

'Now....I know that this tummy of yours is ticklish...but, as you say, you've prepared yourself! You've got nothing to worry abouuuut....'

Wilford crooned as his hands hovered over Anti's belly.....but, as the glitch prepared himself for fingertips splaying or digits digging in....he didn't expect a teasing touch at the rim of his navel. Anti's eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat as Wilford used a single finger to trace around his adorable little innie. Anti stayed quiet, but his jaw was clenched, which a few people noticed.

'He looks like he's desperately trying to keep food in his mouth....or something else....'

Silver giggled, which made a low growl come from the back of Anti's throat. When this was done, Silver was at the top of his list for revenge. For now though, Silver's giggles made Anti blush harder; especially since Wilford was now using his blunt nail for his tracing. Wilford grinned at Silver's comment, and he gasped and looked to the hero.

'By god you're right! You are an observant one, it's almost like Anti is trying to make his bullshit true!'

Anti was about to cry out in indignation, but he hurriedly clamped his mouth shut. Why? Because Wilford Warfstache's Goddamn Frick-Fracking pinky finger was swirling at an achingly slow pace inside his bellybutton. When I say slow, I mean slow. It took Wilford about 20 seconds to swirl around once, and it was SERIOUSLY ticklish agony. Anti was holding his breath and getting red in the face, using every ounce of his willpower and energy to not let out even a whimper, because then he'd lose.

'Remember Anti, you need to breathe....'

Wilford's grin was dazzling as he looked down at Anti, and honestly he was pretty damn impressed by how well he was holding out; Wilford never knew that someone could look so tough AND cute at the same time, and yet, here Anti was. At Wilford's words, Anti knew he'd have to release a breath...he had to.....so Anti tried something. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and gritted his teeth, before very carefully exhaling out through his nose....and inhaling....and exhaling again.

'My, my, even his nostrils are flaring with determination...'

Wilford spluttered out a laugh, and Anti clenched his fists tighter. Even with his eyes shut he KNEW that the Host would be wearing a damn smug smirk; he was second on Anti's list now. Wilford kept on giggling, loving how Anti's nostrils did indeed flare magnificently with every release of air; he removed his pinky finger, deciding to give Anti a little break.

'Ihihindeed, you really are gonna try and see this through aren'tcha?'

Wilford addressed Anti as the latter too the opportunity to take as many deep breaths as possible; at Wilford's words, he smiled with a shine in his eyes.

'Damn f-fuckin' right.'

Wilford cocked his head down at Anti.....goddammit now he just wanted to dig into his nerves and make him squeal....he was just....so enticing right now. But Wilford refrained, he wanted to play this through. Wilford shifted a little so he was less sitting on Anti, and more lying on him as he purred in response.

'Well, to make sure we keep it totally fair and you're not caught of guard at ALL....I'll tell you where I'm gonna tickle you next....'

Wilford's voice had a much lower, and much more sinister tone to it now. He meant business, and Anti knew it....and Anti's smile didn't fade. It was a flustered smile too.

'Awwww, I think he likes that idea, look at that stunning little smiiile....'

....yep that was the third person on Anti's revenge list now. Anti tilted his face away so it couldn't be seen by the onlookers, especially Yandere whose sweet high-pitched giggles had followed their words. Wilford's eyes were still fixed on Anti though....and now Wilford's teasing was going to take centre stage.

'I'm gonna crawl my fingertips up from your sides, over your deliciously tempting ribcage, and into your exposed, defenceless armpits where they're gonna have some fun...'

Holy moly. Even the three onlookers shuddered and snuggled closer into one another, both admiring and fearing how effortless Wilford's tease was. Anti was nibbling his lip, and he gulped when Wilford's fingertips traced the dips of his sides....and he let out a soft whine.

'N-Noooo.....'

Wilford grinned, oh he knew that this was going to be adorable. He fluttered his fingers into the dips, making Anti squirm and screw his face up; he SO wanted to giggle his heart out right now. Anti was squirming as wriggling from side to side as Wilford crooned.

'Uh ohhh....is someone starting to lose their cool? Can someone not handle their tickles like they braaaagged?'

Anti let out another shaky whine as Wilford fingertips crawled up his ribs now; Wilford was really making good on his words. Anti was letting out breathy giggles through his nose as Wilford stroked and softly rubbed in-between his ribs.

'F-F-F-Fuhckoffshutupyouevil....mmnn-noo-da-ahamn.....'

Anti squeaked and clamped his mouth shut, but he couldn't repress what he'd let out. A giggle. A very audible, high-pitched, lovely giggle that Wilford was determined to hear more of. Wilford has taken his time with all these build-ups, relishing in them, loving every second of watching Anti's defence crumble bit by bit. It was wonderful to witness....but Wilford's desire to tickle properly was taking over. He wasn't going to hold back anymore. Wilford chuckled, and whispered something only for Anti's ears.

'Gotcha.'

Anti....shrieked. Wilford's previously teasing fingers had abandoned their subtlety and had set about scooting up to scratch and rake in both of Anti's ticklish hollows. The, now wildly laughing, Anti had clamped his arms to his sides almost immediately, but it was too late. They were there, they were tickling, and Anti was broken.

'AAAHHHAHAHA FAHAHAHACK!!'

Host, Yandere and Silver giggled adoringly, loving how Anti so swiftly flew into hysteria....plus they were giggling at how Yandere was filming it to send to Anti later so he'd remember what happens when he's arrogant. Wilford laughed softly as Anti thrashed under him, and he taunted happily.

'Well, now we've got your pretence out of the way I can ACTUALLY tickle ya!'

Anti shook his head before throwing it back in the midst of his mirth, cackling as Wilford's deft fingers just wiggled and wiggled and wiggled and wiggled.

'PLEHEHEASE AHAHAHA! GEHET THEM OHOHOUT!!'

Wilford smirked at how Anti was already begging, and pointedly hummed for a little while just so he could prolong his decision making, plus seeing Anti laugh so hard was SO satisfying.

'Hmmmmm, weeellll you're the one keeping them trapped sooo....I can't really do anything.....'

Anti wailed, thrashing more as he became more desperate.

'PLEHEHEEEASSEE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEHEASE!!'

Wilford blinked a little in shock at how much Anti was begging, so his fingers slowed down in their wiggling until they were barely moving....but Wilford wasn't finished with Anti yet. He knew he didn't want to drive Anti over the edge, but he still wanted to tickle him a little more-....aha. With Anti's head still thrown back as he gasped and recovered, Wilford noticed how one side of his pale neck was all exposed. So he dove in with a playful growl.

'God I love it when you beg for me.'

Anti thought it was over....nope. He let out a loud squeal and started pushing at Wilford's chest, giggling and squeaking frantically as Wilford's godforsaken moustache tickled like HELL.

'SHIT! S-Stahahappihit ohmygod thahahat's soho BAD!' 

Wilford chuckled into Anti's neck as he nuzzled enthusiastically, slipping his hands out from under Anti's arms so he could balance himself properly. Also now, since Wilford was right next to Anti's ear, he could say anything and everything he wanted without anyone else hearing him.

'Oho we both know you like it...I can hear it in your voice....you're loving every moment of this aren't you?'

Anti's cheeks had never been hotter, and he was glitching out of flustered desperation as stammers encased his speech. Anti couldn't deny that he didn't...enjoy it when Wilford did this stuff to him, but he wasn't ready to admit it aloud yet. So he settled for a middle ground reply.

'Sh-shuhuhut ihihihit!'

Wilford grinned happily, and administered playful nip to Anti's ear lobe before whispering chastely.

'Y'know....you're probably the most pathetically ticklish ego in existence....and that's kinda cute...'

Anti was speechless and breathless as Wilford moved away, playfully pushing him into the couch before sliding off of him with a chuckle. Not only had Wilford taken his words, but he'd given Anti butterflies in his system that he just couldn't explain. He gasped as he caught his breath, rubbing the side of his neck as he watched Wilford wordlessly sink into the armchair Anti had been sat in. Now....Anti had loved all of that.....but now....something just, felt off. Anti wasn't someone who demanded or expected some form of aftercare after tickling but....now Anti thought back to how he'd insulted and mocked Wilford, he started to wonder if Wilford was more annoyed than he'd first thought.

Wilford, of course, was NOT annoyed with him. The shoving and the sauntering away had just been part of his banter, and Wilford had no inkling that he'd made Anti anxious here. Thankfully, there were others in the room who sensed it.

'Wilford....'

Wilford looked up at the sound of Host's voice and looked to the Host, who nodded his head towards Anti along with Silver and Yandere, all of them wearing imploring expressions. When Wilford looked to Anti, his eyes widened....he looked so....disheartened. Had he gone too far? Had he upset Anti by stopping? He hoped he hadn't made him uncomfortable.

'....Anti?'

Anti looked up at Wilford's soft voice, and nibbled his lip softly when he saw how Wilford looked at him. Anti wasn't one to hide how he felt, so he stood up, slightly awkwardly, and shuffled towards Wilford. When he stopped, he took a breath, and muttered.

'Um....I-i just want you to know that uh....I don't actually think you're pathetic and I-I think you're strong a-a-and I hope I haven't upset you....I was just being teasy....'

Anti trailed off, and Wilford felt his heart melt. The poor guy. Wilford realised that he probably should have been way more careful and affectionate, especially after that barrage of tickling he unloaded upon the poor man. So Wilford sent him a grin and opened his arms.

'You sappy asshole....c'mere....'

Anti's eyes widened, and he immediately grinned and hopped onto Wilford's lap, giggling when Wilford wrapped his arms around him with a chuckle. What Anti didn't expect however, was for Wilford's lips to place a warm kiss on his cheek. Yup, Anti's blush was not going away anytime soon, especially after Wilford winked and pulled Anti into his chest. Anti snuggled immediately....aaand then they remembered their audience.

'This is in fact so sickeningly sweet I may have a sugar rush.'

'OH MY GOD YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE!'

'Completely precious darlings....'

The Host, Silver, and Yandere giggled and chuckled fondly....and now Wilford AND Anti had blushes that weren't going to go away for a good while. But both of them did turn their heads to smile thankfully at the trio after a finger snap caused a thick quilted blanket to be draped on top of them. There they all were, all comfy and cute with no arrogance in sight....for now, at least.

WOOOPP HOPE YA LIKE THIS ONE LET ME KNOW IF YA DO WOOO LUV YOUS XX

[stopandimagineloveforever]

The reason I’m petrified for both C & D.

RM/EP/BS/MM - that crowd is bad news. Toxic. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following was written by @rougedraconteur (was on a post I’m unable to reblog)

I know I am poison to you folks now, because I refuse to swallow the blue pill that is being sold to us, and just shut up, but this is something I have been following for years, and partly why I hate and will always fight RM.  yes, I have an agenda, but it is not against D or C or their relationship, whatever it might be either now, in the past, or in the future, or their careers and how and with whom they “choose” to work, or for what reasons, although I am allowed to be disappointed, at what seems to have transpired, and express that.  What mature and knowlegeable adults do in pursuit of their careers is their business, IF they do that of their own free will, without blackmail or coercion, but children and youth should be protected, even from their own naive ambitions.  Others in this fandom that have been dumped on lately, unfairly IMO, saw this quite early on, as well, and were very troubled by the association, especially for C, who had seemed to make an effort to break free from the worst effects of this group, having seen and suffered enough.  Co/ry, who had suffered a troubled childhood, and was still struggling with the same demons and being victimized because of it by RM, seemed to support C in this, being present behind the scenes when C was “outed.”  But something, or someone, pulled C back in, perhaps and most likely unwittingly, perhaps thinking they could control the situation they had both been thrown into. Bless his heart, love is hard sometimes, people are sorry they cause suffering to those they love through the mistakes they make.  The heart wants what it wants.

I first noticed C’s melancholy when he was Esquire’s Man of the Year for his birth year, for their huge Anniversary Issue, and he expressed some very dark musings that seemed to reflect something going very wrong.  After that, I soon  saw C, with W, at a fund-raiser for Pus/sy Ri/ot, hosted by both Emmer/rich and Sin/ger.  the rumors were already out about the two and their underage parties, and it troubled me to have C there, openly, with W, smiling and mentioned in their article about the event, with photographs.  This was a children’s book author, with suspected child molesters, willingly being photographed, and C’s team would NEVER let that happen.  So, why did it?  Because C ALLOWED it, for some reason.

D’s latest movie director Em/merich is a close friend of Sin/ger, also, as is RM.  They host and frequent the same “parties” for up and coming young “actors,” often arranged by MM, with the help of all those he hustles. I think this is the way the “gay mafia” does business, after watching this “pattern” for so long.  CH pretty much confirmed it, when he came out, and others in the industry have said it made life even harder for all these closeted actors in “Camp Podwall” or in connection with these power players, instead of better, after that all came out. CH would not shut up, he thought things would change, if people would listen and respond in strong measures.  But it didn’t work out that way.  The whole operation clamped down even tighter on their people, and ramped up their abuse, as punishment for anyone daring to step out of line so openly.  D and CH had a confrontational conversation during that time that CH was so troubled, or so it appeared in one series of photos they shared at a fashion shoot.

The rule of thumb seems to be you pay if you want to play, the older folks in power call all the shots, they shape your career, who you connect with, how and why, what parties you attend, and with whom, what roles you take, and when, or they blackball you out and shut you down.  If you play the game, stay in line, you are “allowed” to progress in the industry, move up the ladder, gain power and control over your own life and protect your loved ones life, but it’s a rough ride.  It’s a control game, all the way, vicious and dangerous.  The folks at the top (Gef/fen, Dil/ler, their close associates, with RM moving up with his latest deal) are just too rich and powerful to be brought down, it seems, although Sin/ger, MM, and some other more well-established actors seem to be in danger of exposure and ruin, one with a new movie coming out this holiday season.  Thes higher ups will protect them until they can’t, then cut them off rather than go down with them. An expose story with a major magazine seems to be in the works, again, but it appears to have been slowed, if not shut down completely.  This could topple some big names, and could have forced some gay bigwigs into “playing nice” with some of their people to keep things quiet.  But fandom and social media, with their spending habits supporting their shows, concerts, movies, artists, was always an unpredictable and uncontrollable curbing agent and pushback against these folks, and somehow, through paid social media bots, they have been able to mostly shut us down, too.  Like the free press, we have been severely compromised, using various tactics, much as they do their actors, in order to control us.

There have been lots of blinds lately, you can believe them or not, but they explain a lot of questionable things I have seen since 2012 with MM, his parties, and his small group gatherings, well-documented with photos, of Glee actors, including Co/ry and Ma/rk, Har/ry and Ch/ord, as well as D, during Glee, around Hollywood and NYC, at London locations, foreign tropical locales, and showing up in Washington, D.C., with his “parties” during the Washington Correspondent’s Dinner.  He and EP are very close.  There are other Camp Pod/wall regulars, such as J.C. Cha/sez, and my warning sirens go off around them, too.   Recent rumors connected D romantically with JC, in his early years in Hollywood, and C with RM.  those were not removed, as any good PR team would do, such as C’s.  I know C has admitted more than once that 2012 was a very difficult time for him. His second book was written that year, and reflects that mood.  

Whenever I see MM, or EP, around either of the two, or RM or Goopchuk, with them, it creeps me out.  The worst was one photo, maybe during Hed/wig?  MM has D in a tight hug, and he is grinning, although I would call it leering, and directly addressing C, using his name in the text, as in, look what I have here.  While lots of folks in the fandom saw it as a confirm, and cute, and those in the other fandom saw it as a rebuke, here’s the real star, D, you are not so great, C, I saw it as a threat to C. Don’t make trouble, don’t make waves, do as you are told, or someone gets hurt.  So, yeah, if you take the red pill, these are all crazy talk, and ridiculous, when we just want to be happy and like things and be fans.  Most folks do not want to go that deep, and it is easier and a lot less scary to just call people like me crazy.  But we once had a part to play that posed a threat to those powers.  Those people have mostly left the fandom, shut their eyes and swallowed the cough syrup, or yes, became fierce C stans, because he seems to be a fighter like us.  I love D, he is amazing and talented beyond belief, but I would walk through fire for C.

I think you might be right that they are using these two and KM, allowing two “out” actors to use their social media narrative to push back against the “forced closeting” rumors, and using them to “clean up” their image, and protect the predators.  But perhaps a mutually beneficial deal HAS been negotiated, by D and C, and KM as well, who knows all the Gl/ee secrets, as all parties know too much, and have some leverage there.  But these are very bad people, criminals, surrounding them, forcing their hand, using them in many cases and involving them in suspect activities, and while I will continue to support these two every way I possibly can, I cannot and will not add  to the cheerleading, praise, financial support, and widespread whitewashing of these awful people and their projects with D, and C if it comes to that,  thus allowing them to continue unabated and unrepentant.  People brutally burned Ma/rk for his dark side, but these guys, because they are powerful and influential, are okay and get not just a pass, but a love fest, from the fans?  Hell to the no.

[jack-o-wolf]

The friend

Some bonds are hardly broken after their creations and that’s how it went with Jack and Rose, the little one he met at his welcoming party. It was a friendship he was grateful for having, the special treatment he received from his mother didn’t help his popularity with the other children. The girl was strong and volatile – specially when someone insulted her friend. Her worries towards her “partner” had two reasons in particular: first, due to the punishments he received from his parents he was constantly sick and weak, but always showing a big smile when he saw his friend; second, her friend always treated her kindly and worried about her health and well being, even through his pain and sickness.

She protected him and he felt grateful with his heart aching, for her keeping him safe resulted in her being in danger. Always weak, protecting those he cared about the most seemed nothing more than wishfull thinking. However, one day when they were playing by the tower, another child aproached them. He was feared among the little ones for his strengh and violence towards those he saw as weaklings, unlike him. He believed that weaklings stained their kind, he also never approved that being that was always sick. That day he decided to prove that “it” was not worthy of being among them.

–You shouldn’t be living in the tower. Shouldn’t live here, so why won’t you leave? – He asked as if he owned the town.

Before Jack could answer said in his defense:

–If his presence bothers you so much, why won’t YOU leave? 

The boy’s answer was a slap with the back of the hand that sent her dying to the side, she spat a little blood. The boy had made a terrible mistake, witnessing the scene Jack bellowed in rage. The light that had desappeared from his eyes since his first night in the city shone like a beacon in the darkness of his eyes. His heartbeat got faster, his body felt lighter, the pain that tormented him faded and he did not feel fear towards the one who caused terror to other children.

The taller one laughed mocking the little one, he clenched his fist and attacked Jack. When it hit Jack’s head, the only thing it was heard were the screams of pain from the older one while he tried to understand what happened. Upon impact with Jack’s skull the boy’s bones cracked, the small linkan moved faster he thought possible and with a clenched fist and hit the bully in the face. The impact sent him into a spinning flight to the middle of the street, when the challenger fell to the ground and laid on the street, he was unconscious.

Rose watched in shock, the boy that always had to be protected by her just defeated his assaulter with a single strike. Jack turned towards her and she saw a blue flame in his eyes, those eyes made her feel calm before what happened and awakened something else; the feelings she thought to be friendship revealed itself to be something else entirely. Her fascination was soon replaced by a feeling of uselessness and despair as her hero fell unconscious to the ground, his eyes wide open and the flame gone.

Rose ran to the tower for help, in a few moments Jack was at the medical wing. There were no injuries or fever, nothing, he was okay, actually more than okay. After that day jack started an intensa physical training so he could get stronger, Rose stayed at his side and trained as well; discovering something curious about the glow that caught her eye: whenever Jack found something that picked his interest, filled him with rage or made him focus to the point he forgot the world around him; that same cold glow came back to his eyes for everyone to see.

She trained on her own since she wanted to reach out to the frail boy that protected her from an opponent that she could not defeat at the time. She trained because she wanted her friend to keep carrying the smile he always had; and she wanted that smile to be for her. She would become the strongest of all the underios, while she could still fight she would not be defeated again.

Bonds like that are hard to break once forged, not even I can undo them. Don’t get me wrong reader, I’m not saying that one of them might die. No, not even close, if things keep up the way they are, both of them will live very long lives.

They grew up together, grew stronger together, but he stopped in time once he became of age (20 years). While she grew up to be a fine and strong specimen of her kind. He developed his own fighting style, built a device to comunicasse with his mom and Rose. Although he was strong, he looked like an ordinary person; anyone who saw him and didn’t know any better wouldn’t know he was the strongest in the kingdom. Regular height, regular physique, clothing he designed and tailored himself, accessories he also forged himself. She learned his fighting style and taught him some basic skills for surviving like making fire, identifying poisonous plants and edible ones.

Apart they were strong, united they were unbeatable; this friendship caught the eye of Nyx that after the incident during their youth started to keep tabs on them. She envied their bond. She started to treat Rose badly, Jack always defended his friend and eventually started to find his mother behavior odd. So he started to look into it – his friend being the main reason but he also looked into his aging process being halted, he suspected his mother due to how angry she got whenever he asked about it.

I believe, dear reader, that another explanation is required:

“The secret behind the youth of the matriarchs is in the milk they produce once a new matriarch is born, the current ruler feeds the newborn that, once she reaches a certain age her body stops aging. But this does not make them immortal. When the new matriarch reaches this stage, the previous one starts to quickly age dying in a few weeks. Only the coming of age of a new matriarch causes the aging of another.”

Unfortunately, Jack didn’t find anything to help on any of his questions. In the meantime a grand celebration was being organized, he was so focused on the investigation that he didn’t pay any atention to it or the reason behind it. The only change he noticed was the change in his mother’s behavior towards him. Changes only noticeable by those who knew her like he did: her gaze, her walk, her speech, all changes that happened only in his presence, all so subtle but for him they were like loud as a storm.

He didn’t understand the motives behind the changes, but his heart kept warning about a thunderstorm. The days passed by and his heart kept on the warnings, that was until the day the tower’s servants entered his chambers carefully carrying a package. He placed upon the bed and announced:

–Your mother expects you to wear this at the ceremony tomorrow, it was tailor made. So please, if there are any required adjustments please notify one of the staff.

–Ceremony? What ceremony?

–An event to establish relations with the people above ground. – For some reason that answer made Jack even more apprehensive. – And you have a major part in it so that everything is perfect. So you need to be presentable.

–Very well, let’s see what you brought here. – Jack said forcing a smile.

Jack opened the package and took out a formal attire worthy of a royal ball. As he tried the garments, a chill went down his spine...that felt wrong, the chills intensified. He thanked the servant for the informations provided and asked the time for Jack’s appointment. After that he quickly dismissed the servant and undressed as fast as he could and ran to the bathroom, his stomach caused him horrid pains.

After a few hours, Rose went to his chambers. She hadn’t seen him outside of the tower for a few days and no one knew of his whereabouts since he and been avoiding everyone for a while. Reaching her destination she opened the door and went into a dark room, in a corner of the room Jack was sitting on the floor arms around his knees. He was naked and staring at the suit he received earlier that day, he was so focused that he didn’t notice her entering the room. She carefully approached him, she had that look once before, it was the same look he had when she came to visit him at the hospital after rescuing her as a child. His eyes were as dark as a moonless and starless  night, every night had it end with sunrise. His night however, looked like it would never end and he would remain trapped in a lightless world. He wandered his mind as if he was lost in vast, dark desert. She still remembered the conversation they had that day:

–You were amazing...

–AMAZING?! – Jack said with concern in his voice. – From what they told me I killed the idiot! They don’t even know how bad the injuries are yet!

–And? – she replied. – If hadn’t done what you did you would be in his place...if not worse! And so you know, he is okay. They had to sedate him just to prevent him from coming here to settle the score with us.

–What?! That’s not what my mother told me...she said I...– Jack’s expression was one of relief, it didn’t matter what his mother said anymore. – ...he is okay.

–You’re an odd one alright...feeling sorry for someone that wanted to run you out of your home. But that’s your best trait.

–Being a weakling with a soft heart?

–No. You see the world in a way that not even I, someone that has been with you for as long as I remember, can understand. But it still is a wonderful view of the world.

His expression changed like the darkness in his eyes, sunrise had finally come for his mind. Seeing his face she asked:

–Can you teach me?

–What?

–To see the world like you do.

He smiled.

–Only if you teach me how to be strong as you. – she blushed with the compliment and the request.

–Deal!

–So ler’s train each other until the end.

–On one condition. – she said.

–Yes?

–Never again I want to see you in that state, the look you had...that wasn’t you.

–Sorry...I didn’t mean to worry you...I promise you it won’t happen again.

And after that they began the life that led them to that moment, when the promise was broken, in a dark and cold room. She finally left her little trip down the memory lane, Rose raised her hand and hit Jack’s face. His body trembled as if waking up from a nightmare. Stunned, for a couple of moments Jack looked searching for whoever had snapped him out of the nightmare and then he saw his friend. Tears sprouted from the dark ocean in his eyes, Jack hugged her tightly and whispered:

–Thank you...thank you...

She felt the body of the man who she spent most of her childhood coming in contact with her’s, she felt his arms around her holding tightly like a castaway holding on to a piece of wood from a shipwreck; her heart pounding like a machine working at full steam. She could hear his breathing, it was as if those were the first breaths he had after having his face forced against water for a long time. Whatever did this to him was not to be taken lightly. She took in a deep breath to hide her sadness and asked:

–What happened?

–Not what happened, what will happen...

–Huh? What do you mean?

–What is tomorrow’s ceremony about?

–I know it’s a gathering with some surface representatives where gifts will be exchanged as a symbol of good will between the two sides. But what do you have to do with that?

–And what is YOUR gift? – He said starting to place the pieces together.

–I do not know...mother only said that it was something unique, something that would making them be more willing to negociante with us.

–Take a look at what I received today... – Jack said pointing at the outfit that sat on a chair. – Beautiful sin’t it?

She got up and headed towards the suit, it really was beautiful, fine silk, perfect sewing, carefully placed details. After examining them she turned to him and said:

–I dare to say that whoever wears this just needs a ribbon to be a wrapped up... – Rose understood where he was going with the questions. – You’re the...

–That’s where the evidence leads us...yes. In the end she is going to sell me...I...I...

–Wait! Let’s not jump to conclusions.

–But I can prepare ahead...

Saying that Jack sprung up, dressed himself up and started to pack clothes and other things in a suitcase he took out of the closet. Once he finished he gave it to Rose and said:

–Take this to the northern tunnel, leave it there, hide and then go to back to your daily routine. I don’t know if what fear might happen will come to be, but if does happen I’m leaving these tunnels as fast as I can.

–To the surface?! But you’e never been there!

–I rather be in a unknown place then being a coin in some trade off!

–I...I’ve been there...maybe I can help...

–No! I won’t drag you deeper into this than I already have. I also won’t expose you to their scorn towards your kind!

–But...alright...

She took the suitcase and did as the friend asked and a little more, night was against her that night. The following morning Jack was forced to go through quite the ordeal just not to vomit by simply putting on the clothes, he also took care to hide one of his precautions beneath them. When the appointed time time finally came he went to the hall where the ceremony would take place. He was greeted by the one he once called mother, they entered the room together and she took place at the table where that historical moment would take place –or at least that’s how the things were being portrayed by the hired artists – Jack simply stood by his mother’s side. He was tense, almost didn’t speak, all of his attention was solely annoucement of the exchange and possible escape routes. He was so focused on those things that he didn’t notice how much attention he was drawing to himself, surface dwellers stared at him from all sides. Some with envy, others with desire. Jack didn’t even bother to notice the surface’s representatives suspicious gaze upon him, his focus now was solely for the announcement.

The band picked up the music as Nyx stood up, all of the guests stopped their smalltalk to look upon the matriarch. “It’s starting.” – Jack thought to himself, he paid careful attention to Nyx’s speech, it was a beautifully written one, it talude about the union of the races. Once she finished she waited a few seconds and them announced:

–Now to symbolize this new stage...we shall now proceed to the exchange of gifts!

First the surface brought theirs in, at that moment Jack wanted to murder every single person in that ball. The gift was a beautiful cheetah that quietly approached the table. She had a gorgeous golden dress, a silver tiara; both accessories served no other purpose than to hide her expression of sadness. And served their purpose very well, but what really caught Jack’s eye was the golden necklace with a triangular shapped  pendant with cravinas that made it resemble a serpent’s head. Jack felt as if the necklace would attack the woman.

The moment had finally arrived, Nyx annouced full of joy:

–Now I present to you my offering, the last of a species long thought extinct. I give you: Jack the last LINKAN! – The crowd started to gasp and whisper. – I found him as a baby and gaited him, since then his loyalty had no equal. If you do not believe me look! I do not require a necklace for him to serve me! – The whispering intensified as Jack simply stood there emotionless. – Now I that he will serve you all, I only ask permission to visit him so I can use him as well. After all I’ve spent so much time training him. – The surface agreed. – Go to your new owners my puppet.

Jack looked at Nyx, she looked back. She went pale as she saw her pawn’s eyes engulfed in the blue flames. Seeing his “mother’s” reaction he grinned in a very disturbing way.

–...pft-HAHAHA... – He was laughing like a madman. – Well, well “dear” “mother”...you offend me. Why are you looking at me as if staring into a MONSTER?! – Once he finished saying the last word he grabbed the table which cracked with the impact with his claws, but what happened after was what created panic at the ball.

 The stone table that was attached to the ground was launched as if it was nothing. Jack howled in rage as he tore his “wrappings” revealing a black clothing with sewed details on the neck, sleeves and pants that made it look like it was torn apart by the wearer’s fury. Ten guards from both armies sorrounded him, none of their attacks reached him. It was as if he was dancing between the warrior’s weapons, then he suddenly disappeared. Confused they didn’t have time to react to the attack from above, they fell as quickly as they took up arms against Jack.

With the guards out of the way, Jack sprinted on all four of his limbs. At this moment he was already free, dear reader, for you see when he ran like a prim there was no one who could catch him. Add that to his current state and he had double the “regular” speed. The ground had marks where his feet and hands applied pressure during the run, anyone who got in his way ended up being blasted away. After jumping through a window he gained the streets headed towards the north tunnel.

As he approached the tunnel he saw Rose carrying the suitcase and waving at him. At first he thought why was she there, then he thought about how he couldn’t leave her there with those people. He would take her with him and protect her from any harm the surface tossed at her. Having made the decision he reached out for her hand and pulled her into his back while he kept running as if he was a huge prim.

 And that’s how the next piasse of his story began reader, Jack would need to learn how to survive in a new environment with danares unknown to him. Luckly for him however, he would have a gentler path with the help of his one friend. A friend he began to see in a new light as she “rode” on his back towards the surface of Gaea, where Jack would learn his role.

[anotherler]

Today is the 5th aniversary of my my top favorite askblog and Once-ler character @lowquality-onceler!!

It’s hard to believe it’s been five years, really!

I’ve spoken at length about LQ before and why he’s my favorite so I’m not really sure what else I can say.

I fondly remember stumbling on his blog (not on this date 5 years ago; a little later on) and reading through it, pulled into his mysterious and rich plotline. I felt so inspired by the story thus far that I drew some fanart once I’d caught up and posted it.

At this point, I want to give a shoutout to Mori who continues to be a creative genius. I just love all of her ideas and her characters, drawings, jokes and designs. I adore seeing her have fun with her ideas. And she really is just an amazing and widely talented artist.

LQ’s blog is one of her achievements with masterful writing, emotion and artwork posted over all these years and some of the most clever ideas for interaction I’ve ever seen with any other askblog. Encouraging the followers to figure things out, getting everyone to ‘type louder’ and the character hosting little parties and doodling for his followers; I’ll never forget those moments.

His story is incredible too. There is just so much to think about regarding him and so much depth to his character. He’s very well thought out.

I also love corresponding moments like Mori’s behind the scenes posts in the lqlounge and various jokes and doodles that have been made over the years. I’ve always felt really happy pouring over them.

I just have so many happy memories of this blog and I’m pretty sure I’ve gone over them time and time again but I’m just really grateful for LQ and grateful having met Mori and how I keep getting to see her incredible work, like her Memento Cat shop, watercolours, all of her art and her fantastic DND characters.

She’s truely amazing no matter what and I’m glad to call her my friend. She has been nothing but kind and supportive to me and I really cherish every message and kind gesture she’s sent my way...yes I know it’s really sappy and gay I just want her to know it still means a lot to me.

@adachimerica I want to thank you so much for everything you’ve done!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Dr. Seuss is no stranger to cinematic adaptations, and even less of a stranger to animation. And whenever Seuss gets animated, you can typically expect good things, as opposed to when his work is live action, in which case you can expect…

Yeah…

Anyway, imagine the excitement people must have felt when the creative team behind Despicable Me and the writing team behind the underrated gem Horton Hears a Who got together to do a fresh new take on The Lorax! This was in Illumination’s heyday, before they ended up showcasing that they’re more interested in churning out cheap products for maximum profit, so there was plenty of hope that this could be good. Then came all the commercial tie-ins.

Now, this alone shouldn’t be indicative of the final product. Maybe stuff like this is just a bunch of suits horribly missing the point of the original story! Maybe the actual film will be better! Well… while the film was no flop, and while it certainly got a better reception than most of the films I’ve talked about here, the film was derided by many for being an extremely shallow and lacking adaptation that adds unneeded junk to a story that didn’t need it in such a way that ultimately dilutes the message. It turns a story that operated on shades of gray and turned it into a cartoonish spectacle that would make even Captain Planet blush. Not helping was the rabid fanbase on Tumblr who shipped the Once-ler with… himself… or Jack Frost… forever tainting the film in the eyes of those on the internet.

Things got so bad eventually even the [REDACTED] Critic reviewed the film in his usual over-the-top, accentuate the negative style, and as some people still treat his word as gospel, this has most likely colored the perception of the film. So while it’s certainly not to the same level of infamy as the usual subjects of Is It Really THAT Bad? I still wanted to put this movie on here and ask one simple question:

How ba-ah-ah-ad can it be?

THE GOOD

So let me just get it out of the way: the movie’s villain song, “How Bad Can I Be,” legitimately is awesome and is frankly one of the best villain songs ever. No, I’m not kidding. It’s just a fun, rocking number with some neat visuals, and while it’s a shame the cut rock opera-esque “Biggering” is probably the better song, this one is definitely more fun and meme-worthy. Shake that bottom line!

Now, the casting is, for the most part, pretty fantastic. Minor characters like the grandma played by Betty White are a lot of fun, but really, the main piece of awesome casting is Danny DeVito as the titular Seuss creation. DeVito as the Lorax is just so incredible, perfect, and inspired that it boggles the mind how anyone could possibly come up with such amazing casting.

As far as antagonizing forces in the film go, the Once-ler’s awful, vile family are enjoyable in a “love to hate” sort of way. While it’s certainly kind of iffy that they felt the need to give the Once-ler more of an excuse for his actions beyond just simple greed, it isn’t so bad that what they came up with was familial pressure. In fact, they’re actually much better at antagonists than O’Hare, the actual villain of the film, and the fact the movie give him so much focus despite having such fascinating characters that would have had a really great thematic purpose; hell, they should have been the rulers of Thneedville instead og O’Hare! There’s so much untapped potential with these, quite frankly, very interesting characters.

I guess I should say the Once-ler is a pretty decent character in and of himself, but he very much suffers from the same problem the Jim Carrey Grinch does – he’s a good, enjoyable character in his own right, but he’s not a very good Once-ler. In fact, he at points borders on “in name only” territory. Still, he does have a pretty solid arc, and that villain song slaps, so… I think he’s solid, and Ed Helms does a good job voicing him.

THE BAD

Jon Lajoie, while in character as his misogynistic moron rapper MC Vagina, said this:

When I first heard this lyric, I didn’t understand it… but his words were a prophecy, because that is, in all honesty, the plot of this film. Our flavorless protagonist Ted really just wants to get the Truffula trees back so he can get into the pants of the local smoking hot redhead hippie, Audrey. It gets to the point where Ted’s motivations are so boring and shallow that Audrey actually would have made a far more interesting and compelling protagonist, seeing as she already has an inexplicable knowledge of the trees and cares about nature. When they already changed so much in the story I don’t see why they couldn’t just make the protagonist a girl while they were at it. As it is, she barely has any presence and feels like a waste, which becomes all the more awful when you know she’s being played by a stunt casted Taylor Swift instead of an actual voice actor or even an actor period. At least Ted is Zac Efron, an actual actor, though he doesn’t do a particularly good job himself.

Then we have our villain, O’Hare. O’Hare has all the subtlety of a Captain Planet villain but none of the cheesy goodness and fun. Sure, Rob Riggle does some good delivery and gives O’Hare some memetastic moments, and sure, his selling of canned air is oddly prescient of things that happened in real life in India (though technically President Skroob Spaceballs beat him to the punch by a few decades) but it doesn’t really redeem O’Hare from being an excessively weak villain who is shoehorned into the plot solely to turn the story into a black and white morality tale. It… doesn’t work at all. What also doesn’t help is that O’Hare has an absolutely repugnant character design, looking like if Edna Mode got mangled by a sixteen wheeler and left in a ditch on the side of the road.

Finally, this movie just doesn’t really respect the story to any great degree. As mentioned above, it waters down a story that presented arguments from both sides and, while still ultimately showing the Once-ler to be wrong and shortsighted, did have him make some valid points. Here, the story is presented as there being a clear cut good and evil in a horrendously unsubtle and unpalatable way. Yes, we get that extreme deforestation and overuse of resources is bad, you don’t need to beat us over the head with it. It doesn’t help that the film also crams in a bunch of cringeworthy pop culture humor that really doesn’t add much to the story; say what you will about the anime scene from Horton, at least there was a bit of substance and reason for it. Having characters sing the Mission: Impossible theme is just making a reference for the sake of making a reference.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

So I’m gonna say that I don’t particularly find this movie to be good, per se. It’s very dumbed down and more than a little undermined by the various brand tie ins. It is a poorly executed black and white morality tale that was crafted from a very deep and engaging piece of children’s literature, and on that level, I don’t think this movie works even a little bit. Still, there’s some enjoyment that can be mined from this, particularly from some of the more so bad it’s good moments, as well as DeVito’s performance and some actual good moments of story and character. There’s some stuff to like here if you dig a bit, but really, I don’t think you really should have to do a deep dig into The Lorax to get some enjoyment.

Overall, I wouldn’t really say this movie is totally bad, but it’s definitely not good, either; it veers more into the territory of “so bad it’s good,” which is a shame but also kind of refreshing. It’s definitely an interesting film to talk about, and there are a few things about it that work, but ultimately it’s not enough to really raise the film to the level of the classic animated Seuss adaptations or even to the level of Horton. At its best, it’s okay, and at its worst, it actively undermines its own messages. I think the 6.4 it has is pretty fair… maybe a bit too fair, if I’m being honest. I’d give it something like a 5.7 or 5.8.

Again, it’s not the worst thing ever like some might tell you; hell, the adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas Illumination would go on to make is probably a worse movie. But it still doesn’t really do anything that adds to the story its telling, and it ultimately comes off as saccharine, forgettable childish fluff. It’s really a harmless movie, but it’s still probably gonna grate on anyone who holds the original story in high esteem. The {REDACTED] Critic was a bit hyperbolic in his review, but I do think he was right in principle. This movie feels like a calculated, corporate adaptation meant to be as inoffensive and marketable as possible much like every Illumination film post-Despicable Me. And if there’s one thing The Lorax shouldn’t be, it’s “inoffensive and marketable.”