#I like to think flutter shy is friends with a lot of the misfits

[odi-the-oddity]

Everypony deserves a friend

[glasvera]

Taming the Beast

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Part II is out now!!

Description: You finally find your best friend Eddie at Reefer Rick's and stay behind while the gang continues their investigation. You offer to take care of his unkempt hair to comfort him, and one thing leads to another... fluff and confessions ensue. Oh, and Reader has a hair pulling kink.

Warnings: Language, Gets a little spicy but not explicit/not smut, S4 spoilers

A/N: Special dedication to @wh0reonly4fictionalmen who mentioned that they called Joe's wig "The Beast" on set. I hope this satisfies your need for the reference in an Eddie fic if nobody else has done it yet ;)

Word Count: 3756

When you all finally found Eddie at Reefer Rick’s, high strung wasn’t nearly a strong enough description for him. Frazzled, terrified, his hand shaking as he held the broken bottle to Harrington’s throat while the rest of you backed off and urged him to calm down, show him that you all meant no harm. Dustin’s voice reached him first and after your combined reassurances, he slowly, warily, backed off, the creaking sounds of his steps on the old wooden boards accompanying his labored breaths. When he glanced up and finally noticed your presence among the rest of your merry band of misfits, his shoulders visibly relaxed as he sat down and began explaining everything that had happened. You walked over to him as he spoke, kneeling down next to him as you threw your arm around his shoulder and gently pat his restless knee. He focused on your hand and the warmth of your arm wrapped around him, trying to calm down and still his movements as the words spilled out of his mouth.

You couldn’t help but be a little amused both at his disbelief that you all didn’t think he was crazy as well as the incredulous look on his face, snapping his head to look at you when he learned that his best friend had been helping fight off these things without him knowing the entire time. You just smiled and shrugged slightly while Dustin continued, stifling a chuckle at the way Eddie raised his eyebrows at you with his mouth slightly agape.

Explanations out of the way, you decided to continue your investigation knowing Eddie was (relatively) safe here. As everyone began to leave and you stood up to join them, you felt Eddie cling to your arm with both hands, hugging it as he gave you the saddest helpless expression. “Please…” he muttered, barely above a whisper. Your brow furrowed and your heart fluttered in your chest. Looking back at the group, you saw Robin turn towards you to see if you were coming behind them. You gave her a shy smile and a tilt of your head as if to say “what can I do?” before Robin rolled her eyes with a grin. 

“Hey Steve! Wait up!” Robin called out as she tried to catch up with the group. Steve turned around and, upon seeing you weren’t with them, arching a brow.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s uh…” Robin began, lifting her hands up as if to gesture something before dropping them at her sides and tilting her head towards the small cabin they’d all just exited. Steve raised both of his eyebrows now before looking over through the open door where he could see the silhouette of you sitting back down, hugging Eddie into your chest as he gripped you tight. Robin followed Steve’s gaze before continuing, “He’s been through a lot, and there’s enough of us as it is. It won’t hurt anything.” The corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk. “Plus,” she intoned, “I think they could use the alone time.”

--

Eddie was practically shaking as he held onto you. You’d never seen him like this before and it was breaking your heart. You rocked him back and forth in your arms, shutting your eyes tight as you held his head to your chest. His hair was a tangled mess under your fingers and you tried to run them through his locks to soothe him, but you kept getting stuck in his disheveled mane and settled on stroking his head with the flat of your palm.

“Eds… shh sh… Eddie, it's okay. You’re okay now. I’m here,” you cooed, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly. 

Slowly, his breathing returned to normal under your touch and he stopped holding you so tightly, a soft “sorry” leaving his lips as he noticed the wrinkles in your shirt from his grip. He pulled away and leaned back, propping himself against some boxes stacked behind him. You smiled softly and made a show of smoothing out your sleeves, patting them flat again as you repositioned yourself to sit shoulder to shoulder with him.

“See? Good as new,” you chortled, referencing the fabric. He stared blankly in front of him, not entirely responsive to your joke. “Eddie…” you took one of his hands in yours, snapping him back to reality while you thumbed one of the skull rings on his fingers. When you were sure you had his attention, you continued, “We’re gonna fix this. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

He stared into your eyes, his deep brown orbs reading you for any bullshit in your words, but as far as he could tell you believed what you said. He swallowed hard and pursed his lips, gaze cast downward in thought.

“My uncle…?” he inquired softly.

“...knows you wouldn’t, couldn’t have done it,” you finished for him, watching the relief wash over him at your words. A noise, somewhere between a sob and a dry chuckle, escapes his throat.

“And you…?”

You scoff. “Do you even have to ask?” you reply, resting your head on his shoulder. “You’re my best friend, Eds. Even if you did murder somebody, I’d be the one helping you hide the body.”

“Not the greatest joke to be making right now, Y/L/N,” he mumbled.

You winced a bit, realizing how insensitive that quip was. “You know what I mean though,” you began again, wrapping your fingers around his bicep while leaving one hand in his. “I know you, man. I know you wouldn’t hurt Chrissy.”

He moved to turn his head towards you and say his thanks, but his hair was caught on something and tugged at his scalp. “Fuck!” he cursed and you sat straight up, shuffling in front of him and assessing the situation. He reached a hand behind his head and tried to free himself, but he found his hair stuck and inextricably tangled in a couple of stray nail heads sticking out of the crate behind him. “Shit,” he sighed and grimaced, his eyes giving you a pleading glance as you held your hands up, prepared to help. You hesitated for a moment before leaning over him, trying to ignore the feeling of his breath fanning against your neck while reaching around his head to loosen his trapped locks. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie was having struggles of his own as your rather loose scoop neck shirt hung off your chest and did little to cover your bra underneath. His eyes seemed glued to the ceiling while you worked, and with the last strand freed, you sat back on your heels with a huff. If there were any more light in this building, the flush on both of your faces would have been incredibly apparent.

“All done,” you declared with a smile, your fingers fidgeting in your lap. “Your hair though…”

“The Beast?” he chuckled and you snickered at the nickname.

“Yeah,” you laughed, “The Beast looks like it’s in dire need of some TLC.”

He looked down to the side, a little embarrassed, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Haven’t had the time, and I wasn’t exactly packing all the necessities when I ran away,” he admitted. You stood up and walked over to your bag, dropped in the shock of Eddie jumping Steve earlier, shuffling through it. His eyes followed you quizzically. “What are you…?”

“A-ha!” You held up a brush, grinning triumphantly. You walk back over to where he’s seated, tilting his head up at you with an arched brow. “Well, stand up please, Mr. Munson.”

He shook his head with a smile and complied, standing in front of you as your eyes scanned the room for a proper chair. You found one and dragged it over, the folded metal chair scraping against the floorboards, swinging it around to face him as you pat the seat. He looked at you, head cocked to the side.

“There’s a supernatural killer on the loose that we know almost nothing about, and you want to brush my hair?” You screwed your lips to one side and tapped the toe of your shoe on the ground behind you, shrugging. 

“I just… thought it might help you relax. All things considered, you seem like you could use it. Plus,” you looked to the side, lips forming a wry smile, “I’ve kinda always wanted to play with your hair,” you muttered softly.

“Sorry?”

“Please just let me help you out, Eds. Even with just this little bit,” you tried to collect yourself, but he’d already heard your little confession. He studied you curiously, eyes tracing over the curly locks you’d contained in a scrunchie on top of your own head.

“You’ve got the same hair as me, Y/N/N. What’s so special about mine?”

It’s yours, you wanted to say, but bit it back. “Just sit down and let me take care of you, would you?” His hands flew up in surrender as he turned around and sat down, shaking his head. “Thank you,” you sighed, reaching your hand underneath to lift his hair up and get a better look at it.

You started at the very ends, carefully brushing multiple short strokes into his hair as you slowly worked your way up. The knots were stubborn and you did your best not to yank, holding locks of his hair towards the base of his scalp in place while you raked through particularly bad ones. The more you brushed, the softer his hair got. It took several minutes but finally you felt yourself working through the last of the tangles. He sighed, goosebumps forming on his neck as you combed your fingers through his hair. It certainly was… fluffier than before and you couldn’t stifle the chuckle that escaped your throat.

“Hey, hey what’s so funny back there?” he asked, turning his head slightly to indicate he was addressing you but not far enough to pull away from the fingernails still scratching along his scalp. 

“Sorry, sorry” you apologized through giggles. “Your hair does the same thing mine does when you brush it out. Poofs out at the ends.” You paused your brushing to reach back and undo your ponytail, taking the scrunchie as you pulled Eddie's hair back into a low ponytail. “There. Should keep it contained,” you said as you flipped his hair up one last time. You walked around to stand in front of him, inspecting your work. “You don’t look half bad in a ponytail, Munson.”

Your comment went completely over his head as he watched the waterfall of curls bounce around your face with every movement. You never really wore your hair down much, and Eddie felt like he was seeing a whole different side to you that you’d never shown him before. 

“You should…” he nervously scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat, “you should, um, wear your hair down more often. Looks good on you.”

“Oh.” You felt your face warm. “Thanks.”

A moment of silence passed between you two, the creaking of wood and the water lapping gently against the shed being the only noises you heard while you processed the things you were feeling. You ran your fingers through your hair, smoothing it out and shaping it a bit as you chewed your lip. Eddie leaned forward and clasped his hands together in his lap, restless knee starting up again as his eyes looked around aimlessly.

Eddie finally broke the silence, “Thanks again, Y/N. For staying.” Hesitantly, he looks up and meets your gaze for a brief second before almost immediately looking away again. You nod in response, not sure what you wanted to say to him. He kept finding himself distracted by the way your hair moved, not sure why he was finding something as simple as hair interesting. “Can I… touch your hair? Please?”

You snorted at his request, snapped out of your internal thoughts. “But you’ve got the same hair as me,” you teased, and he rolled his eyes.

“Alright, alright, I get it. It’s not the same thing. Happy?” he retorted with a tilt of his head.

You giggled at him and sat on the floor in front of him, scooting back against the chair between his legs. You brought your hands behind your head and flipped your hair onto his lap. It landed with a soft whisper against the metal seat and fabric of his jeans. Tentatively, he reached his fingers towards the base of your scalp and carded them through your locks. You hummed contently, pressing your cheek into his knee beside you. Your hair was just as soft, if not softer than he’d anticipated, and he swore he could play with it all day if you’d let him. “You’ve got like, the perfect headbanging hair,” he complimented, and you laughed. He lifted a ringlet curl in his hand, wrapping it around his finger as he admired the perfect form of it. Running a few locks between his fingers, Eddie held them up as he pretended to strum them like a guitar with his other hand.

You giggled at the slightly ticklish sensation. “Having fun?” you asked him with a lilt in your voice. 

He chuckled. “It’s oddly relaxing. Gives me something to focus my hands on.” Moving to remove his hand from your hair, he didn’t realize a few strands had lodged themselves in the grooves of one of his rings and he yanked them back, causing you to let out a startled and almost suggestive gasp. Your hand slapped over your mouth immediately and you felt your face and ears heat up instantly. “Shit! Sorry! Let me just, fuck, shit-” he fumbled his words as he scrambled to free your hair from his jewelry, desperately trying to ignore the way your reaction was having certain effects on him. 

You were practically frozen in place, hand firmly positioned over your mouth. “You… okay? Y/L/N?” he inquired, carefully placing a hand on top of your head, continuing when you didn’t answer immediately, “I got it out.” Finally, you nodded frantically in response before leaning forward and hiding your face in your hands. You let out a long, exasperated sigh.

“Can we please pretend that never happened?” you asked, voice muffled by your hands.

The corner of Eddie’s mouth twitched. “What, your hair-pulling kink?”

You turned around and lightly slapped his thigh. “Oh my god, Eds, shut up!” He threw his head back with a cackle while rubbing the spot on his leg you’d hit. You stood up and poked a finger into his chest.  “Munson, if you tell one soul-”

He threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Chill, Y/L/N, chill.” He folded his arms behind his head and looked you up and down in the low light, a hint of appreciation in his face. “Some guys are into that, you know.” Your jaw dropped and he shrugged his shoulders, “Just saying.”

“Oh? Are you ‘some guys?’” You’re not sure what prompted you to say that, but you couldn’t deny your curiosity.

He glanced down at your finger on his chest and licked his lips, his tongue sticking out slightly as he looked back up at you. In a flash his hand was at the nape of your neck, gripping the hair at the base of your scalp as he pulled your head back. Your eyes widened and a high-pitched yelp escaped your lips. A devilish smirk formed on his lips. You braced yourself on his chest and gasped as he held you there for a second. “Guess I am,” he admitted almost breathlessly.

As soon as he let go you staggered back, blushing furiously as you smoothed out your hair. You shot him a dangerous look. “Don’t play with me, Munson.”

He recoiled a bit before knitting his brow, frowning. “Fuck, Y/N/N, I wasn’t…” he wet his lips, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

You sighed, slumping down against one of the crates again, as you brought your knees up and held your head in your hands. “It’s fine. I just…” really like you? Wish you’d do that while you thrust your- you shook your head as more depraved thoughts came to the surface.

You heard the scoot of chair legs on the floor as Eddie stood up, walking over to you before crouching down in front of you. He grabbed your wrists, bringing your hands away from your face as he held them, stroking your pulse point while he stared at you. You met his eyes with your own and were surprised by the apology, the sincerity in his gaze. “What’s going on, Y/N?” You shut your eyes and shook your head, willing him to go away before those damn eyes broke down your walls and got you to confess. “Come on, Y/N/N, talk to me.”

Against your better judgment, you opened one eye to peek at him. The concern in his features was evident, and the low light highlighted his face in such a beautiful way that you finally crumbled. “Eddie, I…” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the stinging of tears forming in your embarrassment. “It’s stupid.”

He arched his brow. “Try me.”

“You’re my best friend, Eds. I want to tell you, but-”

“You can tell me anything. I just learned a new kink of yours and nothing’s changed between us, right?” he tried to reassure you with a chuckle.

Yeah, that’s the problem, you thought to yourself. “Yeah I…” Eddie nodded, trying to get you to say more. You took a deep breath, letting out a long, loud sigh. Fuck it. “I really like you, Eddie.”

He snorted. “I like you too, Y/N. Why else would we hang out?”

Your head hit the box as you groaned. “No, Eds. I really like you,” you reiterate, emphasizing the word.

His fingers stilled in their movements on your wrists and he gazed straight into your eyes, seeming to process the information as his jaw dropped slightly. “Shit, Y/L/N. You’re just full of surprises tonight, aren’t you?” he laughed softly.

“Eds I’m sorry I just, when you pulled my hair like that and looked at me that way, I couldn’t take it. I know you think of me as a friend and I don’t want anything to change-”

“Whoa whoa, slow down,” he interrupted, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I went too far, and I’m sorry. Plus, I don’t mind, really.”

You looked up at him. “Really? So nothing’s changed between us?”

His eyes trailed off to the side and he chewed on his lip. “I don’t know if I would say that…” Your heart sank and you were starting to regret having stayed behind for all this to come out. You watched him carefully as he finally looked back at you, noticing how his eyes darted to your lips for a second. “I’d like for things to change, actually.” You furrowed your brow, confused. “Y/N, I’ve… well, ah screw it.” He wrapped a hand around the back of your neck and crashed his lips into yours. You squeaked, and he used the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth and intertwined it with yours. Finally coming to your senses, you pulled him down towards you, and he stumbled for a second as he struggled to go from crouching to being on his knees. He slipped forward and tried to brace himself on the crate behind you, but it didn’t weigh nearly as much as it looked and he accidentally pushed it backwards, causing you to fall onto your back as he fell on top of you with a grunt. He quickly pushed himself up so his full weight wasn’t on top of you. “Shit, are you okay?” You looked up at him, dazed from both the kiss and the slight blunt force trauma, and just started laughing. He let out a little chuckle, paused, and started laughing with you. You rolled onto your side and curled up, laughing even harder as tears started to form in your eyes.

“Yeah I’m, I’m fine,” you managed to eke out between fits of laughter. You both started to calm down a bit, wide grins still plastered on your faces. You laid beneath him, reaching up to caress his cheek. He turns his face to kiss your palm, and you giggle warmly. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, you know that?” he whispered, leaning into your hand as his gaze traveled up and down your body. “Can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about having you underneath me like this.”

You blushed at his confession. “You’ve thought about this?” you asked him, still processing that he thought about you in that way at all.

Something akin to a growl rumbled in his chest. “Oh yeah I have, sweetheart.” He braced himself with his elbows on either side of your head, careful not to lie on your hair. His breath fanned against your lips, inches away, and you shuddered. “I’ve thought about you in a lot of ways.”

“So you’re saying you like me…?” you couldn’t help but quip.

He chuckled darkly, leaning down and capturing your lips in a searing kiss, full of teeth and tongue, as he thread his fingers through your hair. He yanked back and you broke away from the kiss with a whimper. You could feel the smirk on his face as he kissed the corner of your mouth, then your jawline, and finally your neck. He left open mouth kisses all over your neck and along your collarbone, gently biting and sucking the skin as he marked you. You gasped and moaned softly as he continued to hold your head back, keening when he sucked on a particular spot. He leaned back, admiring his handiwork before releasing his grip on your hair. You looked up at him, your pupils dilated with lust as he grinned down at you.

“Yeah, in case it wasn’t obvious, I really like you, Y/N,” he replied with a breathy laugh.

Your heart swelled at his returned affections. You glanced over in the direction of the door before looking back at him. “Should be a while before they get back…?”

His fingers ghosted down your side, toying with the hem of your shirt as he bit his lip. “Have something in mind, sweetheart?”

“Yeah… and it might involve you pulling my hair again…”

[wordstrings]

I CANNOT believe I didn't think of that???? But I DID IT

Also, the reasons you didn't ask for:

Jack: Lawful Lee- hes so innocent and pure and still has the mind of a child. He doesn't understand the embarrassment that might come of just asking Cas, or Dean, to just wreck him cause he had a bad day. He has no reason to go it via retaliation (like some people *cough* Dean *cough* he just asks for it

Kevin: Neutral Lee- Kevin is the MOST embarrassed about being tickled, and will NEVER make a move to try to be on the receiving end. But when hes had a rough day with the tablets, or starts complaining a little too much, the brother feel they gotta take his mind off it. What better way than pinning him down and tickling the snot out of him. Kevin of course doesn't actually mind, and the boys know that, from the little to no heat his threats give off. But he'll never give them true verbal or physical verification.

Meg:chaotic Lee- ESPECIALLY in her later seasons when she decides to help the boys. A quick quip here, a jab at their egos there? A well placed death threat? And the boys and Cas are taking her down, just like she planned. (This ones a little shotty, I didn't really know who else would fit here, if you got ideas, lay em down!)

Cas:Lawful switch- I mean. Does this one really need an explanation? Yes? Well okay- much like his surrogate son, he's not overly shy about asking his boyfriend to be taken down. He does seek retaliation from Dean sometimes, but thats really just because he knows Dean likes that kind of play, and he's more than happy to endulge him. His ler side, is often kept for Dean (he will take down Sam or Charlie or Kevin when necessary, but only when necessary or asked). He's grown to learn Deans ticks and signs that he wants to be tickled. But being the good wholesome boyfriend that he is, always waits for those signs to show up cause he doesn't want Dean to ever be uncomfortable (although, he's kidding himself if he thinks Dean isn't always craving it, but thats beside the point)

Charlie: Neutral switch- Her ler side is more so quick jabs to sides, flutters of fingers up ribs, or spidering up spines. Enough to get a squirm and a gasp or giggle out of her assailant, but nothing more, unless of course the entirety of the bunkers residents are ganging up on Dean- then she'll join the antics, but otherwise likes to stay on the outskirts, and just tease everyone (shes a big reason why Dean gets into Lee moods a lot. You can't just give him a quick squeeze and move on! Thats like letting him have one bite of his burger and then taking it away!!). Her Lee side is also relatively secluded. When she's in a Lee mood, she focuses on one single assailant (usually Sam) to prod poke and flutter. They eventually get annoyed enough that they take her down, and reducer her to giggling mush. Her Lee moods are few and far between, so it took everyone in the bunker a while to figure it out

Dean: chaotic switch: the chaotic switch to rule all chaotic switches. When hes in a Lee mood, you'd better believe no one wants to be in the same room with him (and all have Cas on speed dial for this reason. Oh you thought it was cause he's an angel of the lord that could help with monsters? No, its to deal with a problematic Dean Winchester). He becomes /unbearably/ annoying until someone decides to FINALLY take him down. If he's been annoying enough, to enough people he'll earn himself a swarm of angry friends picking certain body parts to destroy, and it becomes a family affair. If Dean is in a ler mood, forget about not being in the same room. You should be in a different country yesterday. He is relentless, taking down anyone in arms reach. Even running after them down the hall, "you gotta keep your endurance up, what if I was a vampire Kevin, huh? You'd be DEAD". Cas is also usually called to clean up this mess. Although, if Cas in unavailable, a well placed threat about calling Gabriel usually gets him to mellow out until Cas can be his guinea pig (shameless throw out: petition for the boys to FINALLY get Cas a pet God damnit).

Sam: lawful ler- due to the years of torment he was subject to by his brother, he's not big on being on the receiving end, but that doesn't mean he's not afraid to dole it out. His "traumatic" memories leaves him being more empathetic to his victims, and only taking them down necessarily, or when they outright as for it, some actually asking, some... more around the bush (*cough* DEAN *cough*). He takes immense joy in tickling Charlie, because he knows he's the main person she goes to when she actually wants to be tickled. And he's always willing to lend that hand... or fingers.

Benny: neutal ler- you CANNOT tell me he did not take Dean down in purgatory at least once. And when he joins the family of the misfits, his first reaction is "why does everyone tickle eachother do damn much??" He finally realizes that its because their lives are so full of sorrow, death, destruction and overall sadness, its their way of brightening everyone's spirits when needed. Hes also realized its a common form of affection throughout the bunker. His first experience with it was Charlie goosing his side. He wasn't overly fond of the feeling, but was content with watching everyone take eachother down for a long time. It wasn't until a few months into living with everyone that Dean kept /pestering/ him nonstop for three days. It was Cas who eventually told him that Dean was trying to get him to tickle him. He obliged, somewhat hesitantly. He confront Dean about it afterwards, and Dean just blushed, and told him he wanted him to be part of the family, more than just a shadow around the bunker. After that, Benny started settling in a little better, and even joined in tickling others when he had the chance. The only one he allows to actually tickle him now is Charlie, anyone else will be tickled to hysterics immediately.

Gabriel: chaotic ler- Gabriel isn't around the bunker often. He'll show up for holidays, select birthdays, and hunts he's needed on. Otherwise hes pretty scarce, doing whatever gabriel/loki/trickster/whatever he is this Tuesday. Every once in a while he'll pop up on days other than those listed above. On the days he is around, everyone is always on high alert. Gabriel LOVES to mess with his new family, and his older brother complex trumps even Deans. And unlike Dean, no one sees Gabriel coming. He is not afraid to use his grace from the other side of the bunker, or pop up behind his unexpected victims to tickle them with his fingers and wings the old fashioned way. However... Gabriel is the most dangerous when summoned. Can you guess who's in the most danger? I'll give you a minute. Thats right, Dean freaking Winchester. And Gabriel does not like being prayed to on days he isn't planning on joining those in the bunker, and will surely dole out whats coming to to culprit of those forced to bring in backup (although, who is Gabriel kidding. If it got to the point they had to pray for him, he's really just feeding Dean what he wants)

Cliff notes: Dean is just a mess but everyone loves him

First of all, when did Tumblr let asks get this long? Not complaining – I just pride myself on keeping up on all the quirks here and this completely skipped my radar. It’s glorious.

I agree with so much of this, so hard, but I must acknowledge that the switch row is true Perfection. I’m with you on the chaotic lee conundrum, though - and the closest feasible replacement I can come up with is Garth. (Ideally, I’d still probably put him in neutral instead of chaotic, but whaddayagonnado.)

[widowsofchaos]

Kool Aid (Teaser)

Summary: Raise a glass for all your fucked up friends. After a near-fatal night of drug binging, the group disbanded for a while to get sober, and mentally healthy; but it also resulted in you breaking up with your boyfriend and girlfriend. The journey of recovery was rocky. Now after a year and a half, the group of friends reunite at a party, will the band of misfits stick together or go their separate ways? Will you get your two loves back or will you have to move on?

Pairing: Winterwitch x black!reader

Modern AU

Warnings: drug abuse, vulgarity, mentions of domestic abuse, childhood abuse, mentions of mental health. Mention of abortion. smut, angst, and fluff!

DO NOT REPOST MY WORKS! I WILL REPORT YOU.

“You know Bean would have been two today.” Bucky hanged his head, huffing out a breathy chuckle. A few loose strands gingerly dangle, and you had to bite back the itching urge to caress it behind his ear. Your palm shrouding behind your thigh, curling into a tight fist, fingernails tearing into the flesh; crescent craters forming.

Pain is your comfort, you pray for a dark hole to emerge underneath the soles of your feet, and swallow you whole. Hide away in pitch blackness, as your demons’ horse whips dominion onto your chipped soul. Don’t let these two crawl back into your shattered chest, and make a thorn-infested nest in your heart.

Not again.

You’re a nobody, your value is worth a bucket of piss. Your role in their relationship was a erotic tryst, a bored couple seeking a warm body to use, to fulfill - what exactly? To relish in taboo thrills?

Slithering into your life, a child deprived of affection, seeks for it blindly to satiate the loneliness. It was magical at first, double the love. Worshiping at their feet, praises leave your lips, that finally you were deemed worthy for love. But at what cost? The wool isn’t drenched in your tears, but in your blood. You’ve gauged your eyes out in denial from the truth, not only did your demons win, but so did theirs.

“My silly little girl” your mother’s condescending drunken slurs echo in your brain. When it was over, a piece of you was abandoned with them. Withered and died like weeds splashed in pesticide, it’s taken you a lifetime to gain a glimmer of feeling human. Perhaps resuscitate the little girl who bathed in innocence, or maybe it’s too late?

A tight smile curls at the corner of your mouth, you bobble a bit as you lean forward, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Acidic bile bubbles at the back of your esophagus, at the dejected memory, you dryly swallow the lump forming in your throat, “Yeah … two years and three months old to be exact”, trapping your quivering bottom lip between your teeth, shifting back into a rigid faux smile.

God, has it been that long?

“Do you regret it?” Bucky murmured, lifting his gaze to you, and his breath hitches. Before his eyes, is his girl, Wanda’s girl, fighting back her emotions. Bucky can read you like an open-book, a transparent display. He knows you’re hurting, even after a year, that Wanda and himself caused, succumbing to their insecurities, and lashing out at the one being who loved them with every fiber, and sinew.

He loathes that you’re harboring your woes, begging to lash out at him, and Wanda. For pushing you away, when you needed them the most. Bucky yearns for you to snarl at him, scream at him, hurl insults at him, call him a cowardly piece of shit. Call Wanda a bitch, anything for you to release yourself. Hyper-aware of your history to bury all your sorrow, and pretend nothing is wrong. You either write your grief through ink, or wrap it up in soil cloth, and bury it deep in your rotted cavity - and find your salvation at the bottom of the bottle.

“No. Do you?” you mumbled, casting your eyes away from Bucky’s intense gaze. You missed his faltered curt smile, transitioning into a frown, his cerulean eyes watering, you can’t even look him in the eye. Please doll, look at me. See I never stopped loving you.

“No. It was for the best” Bucky hedges, “we’re fucked up, we could never do right by it.” 

A soft snort escapes you, “I know, who would want two drunks for mothers?” Your body loosens a bit, a quick glance in his eyes. A beat of silence, Bucky knew you were attempting to lighten the awkward atmosphere, through your traditional route of dark humor.

“Or a coked out hot-tempered father?” Bucky sheepishly smiled at you, rubbing the nape of his neck, despite his shy smile, you knew what Bucky was hinting at, acknowledging his fault, the very flaw that casted you out from their lives.

“Thank you for being there for me at the time. You and Wanda weren’t olibgate-” Bucky interrupted your babble, “Hey, we wanted it to be there, it took three to tango, remember?” Bucky’s heart aches, how could you think we wouldn’t want to be there. We love you, oh God, we love you.

“I know, it’s just …”, You shift your head to the side, your shoulder moves in natural reflex, gesturing your modesty.

“I know, it’s okay.” Bucky whispered, unconsciously treading small steps towards you, towering over you. A timid smile forms, and Bucky’s heart flutters. God, how Wanda and himself gush over your smile, dying to crawl through, and just live inside you. The shining star in their darkness.

Bucky internally winces, You have no idea, how you changed us, doll.

“Bean, fitting for when we last saw it…” Your chest fluttered, those saccharine bits of staring at the ultrasound flashed before you, you sniffed back a sob. It’s bittersweet - a dash of sour on what couldn’t be, a tang of citrus sweet to see what you had, a fleeting possibility. Become a mother? No, you had to learn to be a daughter. But even you fail at that.

“Yeah, I remember the ultrasound, God, it was so weird. How a being can start off so small, yet can grow so big.” Bucky mused, misty-eyed. Bucky shuffled, attempting to disguise his dismay at the lingering what if?

“I think back on that day a lot …” Bucky continued, “ I like to imagine if we kept it … would it be a boy or a girl? Would it come out looking like me or like you?” Bucky instinctively linked his fingers into yours, and without a doubt, felt the familiar sparks zap into your core.

“I would like to be a dad, especially for a girl. Girls rule the world, can teach her lessons on life …” Bucky’s eyes frayed desperation, longingly into yours dark hues.

“You would make a great parents” Not us, you. A silent indirect of you pushing them away, no purpose in their plans for the future. How you yearn, but the past can not be dug up, let the cadaver rot. And pray flowers can bloom within the decay, hope. Hope for Wanda, and Bucky to be happy at last, and hope you can bare to live without them.

[neoangelic]

Don’t Need Your Love

➳ an nct dream series

After a horrible first love experience, Yang Ahn joins the Don’t Need Your Love club via invitation. Things don’t turn out the way they were supposed to. 

➳ a story of not-so-romance featuring: the coolest club on campus, the meaning of unrequited, teenagers, best friends, heartbreak, healing, first loves, and new ones. 

➳ masterlist 

➳ note: female oc, multiple pairings, ot7 dream, not saying anything more bc spoilers!

➳ word count: 2235

DNYL. A four-letter word—if you would even call it a word. DNYL: four letters that defined the rest of my youth. Four letters that changed my perspective of quite a few other four-letter words. These four consonants brought together a broken band of romance misfits, the love-lost and the lovelorn, and I was the unfortunate latter.

A scoff dared to spill from my lips when I heard Harvey’s voice crackle over the loudspeaker. It wasn’t abnormal for clubs to advertise themselves via intercom, but those were your usual clubs: basketball, taekwondo, art, math, and such. It started off one of those usual announcements at first, but his next words turned everything around.

“The coolest club on campus: DNYL—”

Such a declarative statement. It stopped me in my tracks on the way to homeroom.

“—Don’t Need Your Love.”

And like the rest of the student body, his audacious proposal of a club nearly made me laugh. Harvey was a sweet exchange student from the United Kingdom. A gregarious boy with a knack for gathering people’s interest. This stunt was no exception. Like the rest of Neo Culture Tech’s teenager-filled population, he droned on about relationships, though he spoke of the broken kind. 

Since I had no relation to such types of relationship, I let his voice fade into the background of chattering students and teachers ushering them off to class. At this point, all I paid attention to was the scuff on my Mary Janes as I walked and the way the spine of my notebooks sat uncomfortably against my bicep. My grip on them grew tighter as bits and pieces of Harvey’s speech were growing harder to suppress. Intrusive thoughts crawled its way into my mind. A whisper of an unforgotten forgotten name. Ghosts of conversations in a foreign language. A face began to form in my memory. One with cat-like, sharp eyes. Before my fingertips could come into contact with the cool metal of the doorknob in front of me and snap me out of my thoughts—something else did.  

“Do you feel down from all this unrequited love?” 

Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Was that even a question?

I finally let a chuckle past my lips, once again turning my attention towards the scuff mark on my shoe, once again letting the name of first love to be forgotten and remembering that I had a class to attend.

“What’s so funny?”

“Lee Jeno, Jesus Christ,” my shoulders jumped to my ears. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“You looked dumb standing like that,” he gestured to my hand that floated above the doorknob.

“Are you trying to act like Hyuck-oppa by insulting me?”

“Well as your new best friend, I need to fill the void that Haechan left in our Ahn-ah’s heart.”

“You say that like he’s dead.”

“Yeah, dead to you.”

“Only sometimes,” I roll my eyes. “He’ll be back in one more month and I never said anything about you being my new best friend.”

He pouts, like a puppy. “Well haven’t I done a good job of taking care of you while he’s gone? You did post on your insta story about best friend applications being open and I remember sending you a resume that I don’t think you ever read. He’s been gone since like the beginning of last school year—”

Jeno continued to ramble on with loud hand gestures. It was odd to know that this was the boy I was introduced to during freshman year of high school. His features have grown to become more chiseled and—due to his resolution of ‘becoming fit’ over the summer—I couldn’t help but notice the outlines of muscle through his school uniform. Still retaining his puppy-like features, puberty didn’t steal away his cuteness just yet. The Lee Donghyuck he currently was ranting about was my best friend of now four years. I concluded that his one-sided competition for Donghyuck’s role as my best friend was his little way of reminiscing the devilish boy. Although, he’d never admit that he missed him. Neither would I.

Donghyuck was the funniest boy I ever met. He was like the sun at its brightest as it shone through a stormy day. His reactions were exaggerated and animated and he never failed at catching every opportunity for a quick-witted remark against me. But my favorite part about him was when he made jokes with a straight face. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. He breathed life into my gloomy 7th-grade self. But I don’t think I could forgive him for not metaphorically holding my hand throughout first year. He had to leave Korea a quarter through the first semester because his parents won a trip to Canada. And I get it. Canada was a great place to be, but he failed to inform me that his trip would last about a year. Before he left, he introduced me to Jeno and told me that we would get along splendidly. 

In the words of my best friend; ‘you’d be too much of a loner while I’m gone, so I bestow this pity gift on you.’ 

Not to mention, our first meeting was hilarious. 

He was right. I missed him like the moon missed the sun in the cold night sky.

Luckily, Jeno and I had more in common than I thought and maybe Donghyuck knew that. Maybe that was why he introduced us. He always had an eye for such things. 

The first thing I said made him choke on his milk and flush cherry. Let’s just say I recognized him from an old advert he did as a child actor, featuring the said drink he choked on. The Lee Jeno I first got to know was awkward and shy, never without his crescent-crinkled eyes, a bashful smile, and fingers pulling on a hoodie string. The Lee Jeno that stood in front of me was wide-eyed, broad-shouldered, and confident as ever. 

He grew up a lot.

Don’t ever tell him this (lest you want his ego to inflate) but I really admired him for that. 

“—in conclusion, who was there for that whole fiasco? Not Haechan. What did he ever do? Facetime you every day? Pff I bought you ice cream. Now that’s a real friendship. You didn’t see him flying over from Canada to comfort you, did you? Maybe he was whisked away by a Canadian babe or hunk—”

“You got me my least favorite flavor,” I remarked.

“Ahn-ah,” he whined. “Give me some credit.”

“Tough love. If you wanna be Donghyuck try to be more annoying. He’d never greet me like that.”

“Oh yeah? And how would he have greeted you?” Jeno leaned forward to meet me eye level as if challenging me. Regret flashed in his eyes as I promptly jumped up to put him in a headlock, messing up his perfectly combed hair with my free hand.

“Aw isn’t our Jeno-oppa so grown up?” I pout, pulling and pinching at his cheeks. “Every morning that I see you, you seem to get taller. What am I going to do with you?”

He scrunched his nose in disgust, furrowing his brows. “I think I have cooties now.”

“That’s the spirit. Now keep that up and you’re on your way—maybe—to be just like Hyuckie.”

“The absolute disrespect you’re giving him while he’s gone, calling someone older than you so casually” he scoffs, wrestling his head out of my grasp. “How has he had this much influence on you while he’s gone?”

“Well—”

“Lee. Yang. I don’t suppose you’d want to be late for my class while having a lovers quarrel, don’t you?”

I push Jeno away from me and bowed, flustered. “Sorry, saem.”

“Saem-nim,” Jeno clicked his tongue at my rough gesture, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I could think of her romantically even if I was paid five million won.”

Mr. Song tapped his knuckles against the boy’s head. “Be nice to girls, Jeno. I was joking. I guess you finally found another boy to bully, Ahn?”

“In my defense, sir, the last boy was the one who bullied me.”

“Pfft—”

“I liked you better with the other boy you were friends with, yes. Why don’t I see him with you anymore? You seemed to cause a lot less trouble with—”

Jeno swung the door open. “I think we should get to our seats, Ahn-ah. I’m sorry about the trouble Mr. Song.” His hands clasped around my shoulders and ushered me into the classroom, another scuff to probably form as I tried to not trip over my own feet or drop my books. He shoved me toward my seat.

“Hey—”

“Shh,” he shot an annoying smile at my irritation. “Class is starting.”

“Rude. I think Donghyuck got to you too,” I grumble, sinking my face into the palm of my hand as my notebooks lay in disarray on my desk. It was unfortunate that our homeroom teacher was nice. He let Jeno sit next to me.

“I’ll call attendance now.” 

My unfortunate seatmate leaned closer toward me. I inched away, rolling my eyes as he whispered.

“So… does that make me better BFF material?” His eyes disappeared into crescents as he prodded me with is a pencil, chuckling deviously. I slapped his hand away.

“You’re still not as funny as him.”

“What the hell—”

“H-here.”

“Lee, Jeno?” Mr. Song stared at the black-haired boy with a raised eyebrow.

To which he coughed loudly to cover up his expletive.

And aside from Harvey’s little announcement that morning, the rest of the day went on without a hitch. Soon enough, Monday turned into Tuesday, which morphed into Wednesday and bumped into Thursday. All the “day”s seemed the same. Monotonous. The only thing that was different was the slowly shifting breeze and the changing colors of the leaves of plants and trees. The autumn scenery was finally settling in.

And you know what they say about autumn.

It was a fitting season for the boy in front of me. A season of endings and changes—amongst all the other autumn things. 

“Why are you tearing them down?” I caught a piece of paper that fluttered down the stairway. It had been a while since I spoke English, the language strange on my tongue. “They’re cute.”

Harvey turned around and flashed a tight-lipped smile. He shook his head with a disappointed exhale. “Quite frankly, the whole thing was a bust.” His hand reached for another DNYL poster, one of many that scattered the walls of this place.

I picked up some rogue posters that fell onto the steps, approaching the foreign boy. I wasn’t lying about the posters being cute. They were handmade and created with color and illustration, the words written in an aesthetic way. Though, I didn’t mind to read them. 

“Why’d you make the club in the first place?”

“I guess I’ve just seen those people around campus who’ve just been so unhappy,” he said. “It felt horrible knowing that there was nothing I could do to help but I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, if I created a safe haven away from that heartbreak, then nobody would feel lonely enough to cry their heart out. Have you ever had the feeling of wanting to start something beautiful?” Harvey’s eyes were green and genuine. The golden light from the window was filtered through leaves, creating a taste of a nostalgic, bittersweet what-if. 

“Once,” I answered, a feeling pulling at my chest. An urge. A remembrance of what was and what could have been. There was a wish for warmth, even soaked in the honey glow of the sun. Longing. For new beginnings. 

Who hasn’t felt the wish for something to ignite?

For something to explode.

For undreamt dreams to just come true.

“I guess I also wanted to leave a small legacy before I leave. I need to go back home pretty soon.” A solemn sigh left Harvey once again as he stared down at one of his white posters. A pitiful silence hung in the air, dust fairies dancing and floating around us, falling and disappearing away from the light.

“Maybe you just need to find your targeted audience,” the words didn’t mean to come out of my lips, but they did anyway. “NCT is a highschool where teenage romance never sleeps. You’d be best off finding some outliers—y’know like the people you mentioned.”

“The ones I’ve seen around campus?”

“Yeah. Those who have been dumped, had a bad breakup, dealing with a broken heart… isn’t that what you said this club was for?”

“I wouldn’t suppose you’re one of those outliers?” He called out.

I looked behind at Harvey and the colorful papers that stuck out from his arms and his backpack. I looked at the empty walls and the tape that he wasn’t able to scrape off and half torn stickers that spelled ‘DN’. I look at him and smile without meaning to.

“If this is truly the coolest club on campus, then send a message my way.

“I don't have your number.”

“Who said you needed to text me to communicate? Send me something interesting—something special. I wanna feel like I’m being invited to the Phantom’s masquerade,” I turned away, biting at the inside of my cheek. My next words came at a frightening decrescendo as I realized what I was getting myself into. “If you find that I’m suited for your club…surprise me.

<< recruiting now | masterlist | boys are never worth it >>

footnotes -

saem: a shortened word for ‘seongsaeng-nim’ or teacher.

oppa: well, I think we all know this one but I mostly use it to signify respect or difference of age

[vrfly]

Behind Closed Doors : Ninjago Angst - Day One: Betrayal~Lloyd

Everyone loves the precious Green Ninja, prophesized, legendary, abd all powerful; the leader of the secret ninja force, sworn to protect Ninjago from all the evil being who dared to step foot on the land. Fans used to crowed the streets, asking for autographs, begging for a picture, all yelling one name.

Mine.

At first it was overwhelming. I was basically like a celebrity and my face, name, and information was plastered all over the city. Eventually I somehow because used to it; but by then the citizens' hype had worn off slightly and all six of us ninja reclaimed equal amounts of fame.

It was still exceedingly strange when royalty incited us over, choosing our silent protection atop the many police and guards the palace had to offer. The deathly beautiful Princess Harumi had greeted us with a seemingly informed introduction. She knew a lot, and was not shy towards us while others would stare in shock or stuffer, blabbing their mouth worse than Jay. She was casual, professional. We quickly became on a first name basis.

I unintentionally found myself gravitating closer to her.

There was something I didnt feel towards anyone else that made my bones tingle when I was around the princess. I couldn't understand what it was about her that made me always want to stand by her side, never stop protecting her.

Until it slowly dawned on me that it was love - or maybe I was staring too long and it was obvious to the other ninja.

No fingers should be pointed at me for not completely comprehending what made my heart flutter. It is not my fault I missed out on half of childhood protecting the city I love. I skipped a few years of age; I'm still young, vulnerable. Yet here I was, leading a band of misfit ninja with all of Ninjago counting of me to save them. Not to mention the fact that I was not with the rest of my team. All five of them - including my uncle who was steadily growing to himself again - were trapped in a realm no one knew anything about. Except that it was the first realm, and very dangerous. There was a lot on the line here.

That I understood to the fullest.

What I didn't understand was why I was played so cruelly.

All the while I was attempting to find the last Oni mask alone with Harumi in the middle of a forest, she was plotting against me. I was just some worthless pawn in her master plan to bring back my father. Yet, I still fell head over heals for her.

And I was blind to actually think that Harumi actually loved me back. It was if a knife was punctured through my chest. Haven't I already been through enough?

She only wanted to befriend me because I was part Oni, therefore I would be able to grab the mask. She didnt really need me, didn't really care if I was left to drown, stuck in a water-filled temple lost in the middle of the forest.

I felt broken, but covered it up because there was still work to be fulfilled my evil resurrected father to bring down.

More importantly, though, I felt betrayed.

I'm not sure why I felt as if it would turn out better. I'm the Green Ninja, for Sulkin's Sake - nothing ever turns out easily for me. Although it's just wrong to play with someone's heart strings like that. All because of Haurmi and her pathetically sadistic ways, manipulating me to feel empty as she had in her past. And for what? Bragging rights? What else could she take from me? My powers and city, my friends, my pride, my father; I was empty and I hoped she felt proud because of it.

For days she sent search teams sweeping Ninjago for me all the while she sat with my father watching over the destroyed city; citizens below hid in fear. I'm not quite sure if she was happy all alone up there with an evil warlord, but neither was I, powerless and locked in secret dumpsters, hiding for my life.

I was scrounging for food. I though my friends had just been killed and I was alone, barely able to form a plan. I watched from a tv as citizens were swept off the street but I couldn't help them because I was the most wanted of all.

And it all started because I had gone and put myself out there, attempting to help someone from a secret gang of bikers after they lost their family. But I ended up loving them, and they turned on me. Harumi took away everything I had and laughed.

So I won't let anyone use me anymore.

Yet even through everything, I wished it didn't end the way it had. I watched the building begin to crumble before my very eyes, knowing I was too far and it was much too dangerous to try to help. Call it overthinking the situation, but Princess Harumi - the Quiet one, the leader of the Sons of Garmadon, the first girl I mistakenly fell in love with - and I locked eyes. I felt pity on her.

Her eyes were no more full of hate, deception and vengeance; her eyes were sorrowful and apologetic.

And as I whispered her name, I witnessed the foundations of the building she was standing on finally give out after being smacked around by a giant colossal.

She fell along with it and died in the rubble.

Yes, I'm a ninja - my job is to protect Ninjago and everyone in it from evil presents. But I never asked for anyone to die, no matter how many pieces they break your heart into.

for @ninjago-angst-week

[majoringinsarcasm]

The curious cases of wolves and rabbits (part 1)

I did not read over or edit this so keep that in mind :p. This goes along with an upcoming RP I have with @rin-matsuoka-daddy aka my husbando.

Rin adjusted his pusheen beanie and examined his nails. The polish was already coming off in glittery flakes, yet he couldn’t stop picking at them, an awful nervous habit. Kisumi sat humming next to him, editing another banner to put up on his blog. Only two more weeks of class before they were free of another semester. But instead of ordering paint and resin molds, they were sitting around the west campus commons.

“They’re late,” Rin grumbled, abandoning his ruined nails. “You said twelve-thirty and it’s almost twelve-fifty.”

Kisumi didn’t even bother to look up, digging his boots into the no doubt beer stained carpet. The jocks all assembled here, what with the frat houses being close by.

“Unless you’ve got twenty-five dollars to give, we’re staying. This is the last case of the batch I made this year. They were all bought before October except this one.“ He pouted, looking at the little box containing the custom made phone case. “I was starting to think it was cursed.”

Before Rin could say anything, a gust of cold air blew into the lounge, along with a pack of darkly dressed young men.

Rin hated stereotypes, both using them and being referred to as one. But the only word that came to mind seeing all that leather, biker boots, ripped jeans despite it being winter, piercings and buzzed hair, was Punk. And one stood out in particular.

“Why is Yamazaki walking toward us?” Rin hissed at Kisumi, anxiety making his hands shake. He patted down his puffy marshmallow parka until he felt the shape of his army knife on the inside pocket. A gift from his mother that he hadn’t asked too many questions about.

But the relief only lasted for a second, because soon Yamazaki Sousuke, known player and general misfit, was standing just a few feet away.

He was wearing all black, from his boots to the gauges in his ears, though they were the smallest Rin had seen in this group. And he was wearing those leather fingerless gloves again! Talk about trying too hard. But all in all he didn’t look bad, with both eyebrows pierced and his hair shaved on the sides and back like the one guy from the figure skating anime. A solid 8 out of ten. Maybe 8.5 if he wasn’t so frowny. But his looks were all he had. He was a major player, sleeping around and never calling his dates back. Yet the girls kept flocking to him. It was disgusting.

And he wasn’t alone. Rin knew that Momo had a brother, but seeing the older Mikoshiba in person made him glad he was sitting down. He was tall, and muscular, and with his dark red hair, shaved at the sides and messy on top, and his sharp golden eyes—which Rin swore were contacts despite Momo’s being the same—were piercing right through Rin.

“Are you Shigino?” Mikoshiba asked. Rin shook his head automatically, hating that he felt afraid in this moment. He wasn’t helpless, dammit!

“That would be me.” Kisumi stood up then, coming to stand in front of Rin. He wasn’t very bulky, but he was tall, and he looked less like a children’s painting today, wearing mostly brown and white. “Who wants to know?”

Rin’s body tensed, anticipating some kind of confrontation. Kisumi was a good student, but he went to a lot of parties. He was flirty by nature, and that’s gotten him into a few tight spots in the past. Had he flirted with someone’s girlfriend? Spilled beer on a jacket?

Mikoshiba’s expression shifted rather drastically. He relaxed from his alpha stance and even smiled! Smiled at Kisumi as he held up his phone. "Oh hey. I’m the guy who bought the phone case?” He handed Kisumi his phone. “I saved the email in case someone else tried to claim it. It’s still mine, yeah?”

Like a sitcom, Rin popped up to stand behind Kisumi as they both read over the email thread. It was legit, right down to the meeting time.

“And I’m really sorry I’m late. The sink at Samezuka house was leaking—”

“It fucking exploded,” Yamazaki deadpanned. “Takuya almost lost an eye.”

“… so I had to fix it.” He smiled again, appearing almost bashful.

Rin had to elbow his friend to get him to close his mouth. He didn’t like the sparkles he could practically see fading in to becoming Kisumi’s backdrop.

To his friend’s credit, Kisumi snapped into business mode pretty quickly. He took the case out of the box to show off, keeping with his policy. If the product wasn’t up to the buyer’s standards, they could withdraw their bid. Any damage noticed or made to the product after one week became the buyers problem. Rin was always weary of people trying to take advantage of that policy, but so far no one had demanded a refund.

The case wasn’t something Rin would associate with the punks. It was a pastel orange, decorated with cute sea life and pieces that looked like water. In the center was a little otter figure on its back, holding a peach. Rin wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but to see Mikoshiba literally fucking gasp was nowhere on his list of possible reactions.

“It’s perfect!” Mikoshiba took the case and looked it over, gently wiggling every glued on piece to make sure it was secure. “Dude, check this out.” He shook Yamazaki’s shoulder like an excited child.

“It’s just a phone case,” Yamazaki sighed, looking up from his own phone. Rin noticed that it was cracked in all kinds of places. “What’s so speci—oh wow that’s cute.”

“I told you!”

“Is the otter holding—”

“A peach, yeah!”

“Nice.”

Rin leaned into Kisumi’s side, eyes wide with something akin to fear. “What the fuck is happening right now?” He whispered, clutching at his shoulder.

“I’m making money, shut up!” Kisumi hissed back, schooling his expression when the attention was put back on him. “I trust that everything is up to your standards?”

Yamazaki snorted, mumbling something under his breath that only Mikoshiba seemed to hear. Mikoshiba elbowed him before flashing another smile Kisumi’s way. Rin swore his friend’s heart beat so hard he could see the outline of it in his chest.

“It’s perfect. My brother’s gonna love it.” Mikoshiba dug in his pockets to get his wallet, but Rin’s mind had ground to a halt.

“You’re buying this for Momo?” He tried not to sound incredulous, but from the look Yamazaki gave him, he hadn't done a good job.

“Yeah!” Mikoshiba looked so happy now, like a proud parent. “He loves cute things like this. Personally I don’t really get it,” he said with a little shrug. “But he’s my baby brother, and I wanted to get him something special for his birthday next week.”

Kisumi let out a sigh that could definitely be classified as dreamy. His eyelashes fluttered, and his smile was slow and just shy of coy.

“How much do I owe you?” Mikoshiba asked, looking up and into the face of his doom. He blinked a few times, caught off guard, until a small little smile graced his lips as well. Kisumi giggled and reached up to toy with a lock of his hair, and Mikoshiba’s smile grew wider.

“It’s twenty five,” Rin said, a little loudly, trying to look bigger than he was. Despite the utter weirdness of this encounter, he wasn’t about to let his friend get conned out of his money. Even if said friend was making heart eyes at the guy who climbed the thirty foot flag pole during spirit week.

Money and product were exchanged, and hands lingered far longer than they needed to. Yamazaki grabbed the back of Mikoshiba’s jacket and pulled him along, grumbling something about food. Rin waited until they were gone to tackle Kisumi to the couch.

“No,” he said sternly, red eyes fixed in a glare.

“He cares about his little brother.”

“Nooooo.”

“He’s got a great smile.”

“NO!”

“His eyes are like liquid gold, and it’s filled the mold in the shape of my heart.”

Rin groaned, loudly and dramatically, mourning his stress free day. He had not signed up for this at all. He stood up with a sigh and frowned down at Kisumi, before rolling his eyes and holding out his hand.

“Come on,” he said begrudging. “Let’s go stalk his social medias.”

Kisumi cheered, jumping up with far too much enthusiasm. He took Rin’s hand and just about dragged him across campus to their dorm room, bubbling with excitement the entire way there.

I should’ve stayed in bed this morning.

[babybpartyof3-blog]

a little peace and LOVE

How did a marijuana card and a broken vaporizer lead me to finding love you ask? it’s quite simple. I walked into the shop and seen the guy I used to have a crush on in high school, but couldn’t stand him at the same time (back then). I was shy, I was hesitant (I had been in pain all day and looked like crap, my blonde hair blue eyed crush looked delicious) in his work uniform. I was hoping he wouldn’t see me or recognize me from back in our early high school days. He would sit behind me in class and pull the ends of my hair, kick my chair or drive me crazy talking and laughing during a lecture. I hesitantly said “hi ___” and he took a second to look at my face, after hearing my voice he indeed recognized me right right off the bat. He hadn’t seen me or heard from me since the second semester I had to switch to being home schooled (from the pain). Busted. He was about to also learn my dirty little secret that I wasn’t such a “goodie good”- I was there to buy a new vaporizer. BINGO! He smiled at me and was so helpful, so understanding and patient. Plus, he got along with my mom and what girl doesn’t love that? I ordered one and it was a perfect excuse to put my number in his phone so he could call me to let me know when it was in. I left that night with my mom teasing me that he was looking at me and checking me out. That same night, he texted me asking me to hang out, but since he was almost a stranger to me since high school, I said no (I had class the next day anyway). The week flew by and he texted me off and on “good morning, how are you?” things like that. I found myself thinking about him a lot more then I care to admit (on and off). I finally got the text that my new vape was in, I remember being excited to see him again. I commuted back to Canada (really friggin fast) and was on my way to the vape shop. I got there in ample time. I walked in he smiled at me and our eyes met, there was almost an exciting chemistry between us, like cupid’s bow suddenly struck me. My heart actually fluttered when I looked into his blue eyes. In high school, he was a misfit but that afternoon, I saw that his big beautiful smile actually had promise written all over it. I left the shop (because how long can you hang around a vape shop before it gets weird?) and we continued to text, he was very persistent, but kind. After a week or two, I finally agreed to go over to his parents to hang out. It was freezing, I remember taking 3 hours to get ready that day wanting to look perfect to see him again, I wanted him to remember me like that.. “perfect” (in my own way of course). I met some “friends” of his at the time (I say this term loosely) and we went through a hardship of his past that came back to bite him (I was just the recipient of the abuse from this girl). This happened way before I was in the picture, but he was dishonest with me at first. Once we got that cleared up and out of the way, I learned to trust him again. It was difficult for a little while, but we made it. After that experience, it brought us closer together in every sense of the word. Emotionally, psychologically, sexually, etc.. We found out overtime that we loved a lot of the same things, had the same interests, were willing to explore each other’s hobbies and travel together. We had the chemistry and the good basic start to a relationship. I had some hard ship with my own family at home and ____ asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I thought 6 months into our relationship that this was pure insanity and everything would fall apart. In high school, I saw ___ as a ladies man and I realized how big of a step this was for him to fully commit and take this new found love out for a spin. Despite my usual “good girl” tendencies telling me ‘DO NOT DO THIS, THIS IS A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD IDEA’ (thank you Robert Munch books). I moved in and it was the best decision I have ever made. My pain became a bit less, my psorasis on my scalp started to clear, my weight dropped and eating habits became a lot better and just my overall sense of being an adult made me glow with pride. We bought a brand new bed set along with mattress and again (judge judy, judge milian, etc.. ALWAYS advises against this, but again, “why not?”). We cleaned out his bedroom (which was totally D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G!) and made it our own. We made it into a comfy, cozy, room version of ourselves. Through all of this, I’ve had horrible pain days where I can’t even move out of bed, need help walking into the shower or the bathroom or I’m just plain crabby from being miserable and in pain. He has stuck by me through everything and I cannot be more grateful to him and to God (I’m usually not one of these people) for sending him into my life. D ____ you are a complete blessing to me and my life. I could not ask for a better companion, friend and husband. You are patient, kind and funny. Your smile lights up my day and your blue eyes are a window into your gentle soul. I cannot wait to wake up to you and fall asleep with you every day and night. I will do whatever I can to make and keep you happy. I’ll do whatever it takes if it means spending the rest of my life with somebody so amazing. You are worth every single heart ache I went through to get to you. If I had known you were about to walk into my life again, I wouldn’t of cried anymore. I am very blessed to have such an amazing man in my life. Getting through a chronic pain disease - you need people that are for you and on your side. I never thought I’d find somebody like you D____. Love won’t heal all, but it does make the “crap” of life a little easier. 

We’re currently TTC (trying to conceive) and I want to document our journey every step of the way. I want to reach out to other women and let them know it’s OKAY to need help getting pregnant. Infertility affects us all. We want to give you the ultimate blog or VLOG opinion on RAW infertility treatments like femara, IUI, IVF. We are currently waiting on a call from the infertility clinic for our first appointment. Journey with us, learn with us - I’m sure everything along this journey will not be pretty but we’re able and willing. 

welcome. 

xo.

to my husband; i love you. :)