#I love how flexible my professor is like yeah you can just draw them for everything

[theguildedtypewriter]

What Did You Say? A guide to writing good dialogue

(Remember all pieces of advice are meant to help guide, that is all. They are not dogma.)

Ever read something and heard the dialogue in your head, and you just stopped. There was something off about it and for a solid minute there you couldn’t tell if the character was supposed to sound like that or if the author just didn’t have dialogue down. Chances are some mistakes were made. 

Dialogue can be tricky. There’s no doubt about it.

You need to make it sound like the characters are having a real conversation but if you write it exactly like people talk it can get confusing and sound even worse. 

“So how do I write good dialogue?!”

You can usually sense when your dialogue needs work. So here’s a set of some dialogue trick that might help you. When you think something is off with your dialogue use this to help you figure out what and make some changes.

All about that Flow-

It’s said all the time about your first draft, the important thing is to get the words on the page, you’ll refine later. This technique applies to your dialogue, and you’ll even come up with lines you never would have if you spent your time trying to be perfect.

You can even try writing the dialogue first. Get down what your characters are arguing about, planning, revealing, etc. Do it fast, pay no attention to who said what. Just get the words out.

This dialogue can give you a good idea what the scene is about and it might be different than what you thought. Then just go back to it and fill in.

This can be good for when you’re in a slump.

Talk it Out-

You can also practice dialogue or get yourself going by speaking the lines of two of your characters as they interact. An argument or conversation between your two character except you say all the lines as they come to you.

Overt the Obvious-

A very common mistake is creating a simple back-and-forth. Each line directly answers the previous line, often repeating a word or phrase from that previous line, echoing it. Ex:

“Hello, Tina.” “Hi, Jane.” “I really like your blouse.” “Oh, my blouse! You mean this old thing?” “Old thing! You’ve never worn it before.”

No surprises and very little interest. Some direct response is alright, but your dialogue will be better if you overt the obvious:

“Hello, Tina.” “Jane. I didn’t see you come in.” “Nice shirt.” “Did you finish your half of the project?”

Okay, I don’t know why they’re pissed at each other but this exchange is way more interesting and suggestive of what’s going on behind the scenes than the first.

(How could I not use the Crow?)

Zip It-

Another powerful way to overt the obvious is silence. It can be the best choice for an exchange. Hemingway is good at this. By using a combination silence and action, he gets the point across through a short but compelling exchanges. Look at “Soldier’s Home”:

“God has some work for every one to do,” his mother said. “There can’t be no idle hands in His Kingdom.” “I’m not in His Kingdom,” Krebs said. “We are all of us in His Kingdom.” Krebs felt embarrassed and resentful as always. “I’ve worried about you so much, Harold,” his mother went on. “I know the temptations you must have been exposed to. I know how weak men are. I know what your own dear grandfather, my own father, told us about the Civil War and I have prayed for you. I pray for you all day long, Harold.” Krebs looked at the bacon fat hardening on the plate.

You can express a lot by what a character doesn’t say.

Confrontation is your Friend-

We all want to avoid the info dump. Telling out readers everything that happened in the backstory in one chunk that slows down the story. You can avoid this by  using dialogue. When you create a tension-filled scene, typically between two characters, you can get them arguing and then have the information come out in the natural progression of the conversation. 

The not so great way:

Regina Black was a cop running from a terrible past. She had been fired for bungling an operation while she was drunk.

Try it out in a scene:

“I know who you are,” Nancy said. “You know nothing,” said Regina. “You’re that ex-cop.” “I need to be—” “From the 54th . You got your partner killed because you were drunk off your ass. Yeah, I know you.”

This can give you dialogue weight and increase your pace.

You Don’t Need ALL the Words-

People don’t often speak the say way we write things. We leave words out, we use contraction, we shorten. A standard exchange might go down like this:

“Your mom was killed? “Yes, she was in a car accident.” “What was her name?” “Her name was Martha.”

Try something more like this:

“Your mom was killed?” “Car accident.” “What was her name?” “Martha.”

This is leaner and sounds more like real speech without sounding too weird or chopped up for a reader to understand.

Don’t Explain Everything-

I know we always want to make sure that our readers understand exactly what we’re getting at. But consider the following:

“That’s amazing news,” he said gleefully.

Look right to you? 

Well, it’s not technically wrong so yeah. But this is a pretty commonly trap. You’re telling your reader your character’s feelings twice. The adverb ‘gleefully’ really isn’t needed here. Now, that’s not to say that adverbs have no place. For example:

“That’s amazing news,” he said mournfully.

Oh wait what? He’s not happy about that? Why? See in this context the adverb actually gives the reader important information quickly. Many people that they don’t like adverbs but I find them useful when not stuffed into your writing too much.

Here’s another example:

“I can’t believe it!” Marnie said.

Here, there’s no dialogue explanation, so it’s tightened up and the focus is on what is being said rather than how. Plus, readers can now imagine my OC’s surprise, which helps them get closer to my OC.

You really shouldn’t have to explain your dialogue.

Keep your dialogue transparent-

When your dialogue is powerful, the last thing you want to do is move the reader’s attention somewhere else. Explanations and ‘ly’ adverbs can break the flow because they jump out to the reader, making them focus, if only for a second, on the fact that they’re reading instead of being engrossed in the story.

Now, people may not like this, but said is NOT dead. When we see the word said, we tend to gloss over it like it were a comma or period. And that’s exactly what we want. We want the reader to pay no attention to the word but accept it’s purpose.

Study Conversations-

Coffee shops, bars, and restaurants. Fantastic places to do some people listening. This kind of people studying can really help to create dialogue that sounds so natural. I am personally a huge fan of Buffy for this because it genuinely sounded like teenagers/young adults and the pop culture references where amazing. People talk in cliches, gestures, and movie/TV quotes. So many quotes.

Also remember, conversation isn’t just words. It’s body language, tone, eye contact, facial expressions, etc. Consider this:

“You lied to me,” said John.

“I did it to protect you,” said Tate.

James moved toward John and reached for his hand. “We didn’t want you to get hurt—”

John pushed his hand away and backed away from them. “I trusted you.”

You can use actions to break up dialogue. This is a creative way to move the conversation along and show what the characters are feeling using their responses and gestures together.

Just keep in mind that if you intersperse action between every line of dialogue it loses it’s usefulness.

Don’t keep pointless prose-

As writers, we frequently stuff too many details into dialogue. You need balance realism and dialogue purpose. Dialogue is suppose to help move the story along, offer depth, and convey information. When dialogue doesn’t fulfill any of these purposes, it has to go. Look at this:

“I saw Todd in the park the other day,” said Steve.

“Oh yeah?” inquired Susan. “How is he?”

“He has a new job. He has a flexible schedule, so he has way more free time,” said Steve.

“Well, good for him,” said Susan. “Do know how he’ll use his free time?”

“No. I meant to ask him, but forgot,” said Steve.

This conversation is slow, boring, chunky, and serves no purpose. This didn’t really relay any new information and it didn’t move the story anywhere. Now, if the point was to show a stilted conversation between ex-lovers, friends, or a conversation about nothing because the characters can’t face the hard stuff, this would be great for that. But honestly, that’s a purpose right there. If you can find no purpose for the prose, take it out.

Read it aloud-

The last tip is to read your work aloud. I do this. Complete with facial expressions, gestures, and voices. It can be a really fast way of finding a problem. Pace, punctuation, flow. When you read out loud, issues with these things become crystal freaking clear.

Where did you stumble or pause unnaturally? Fix that. Any accidental rhymes or repeated words? Edit them.

Does the dialogue match the character? If your character is uneducated , make sure they sound that way. A professor? Make sure the OC sounds smart.

When you read a bad sentence you’re sure to flinch or stumble along the way. When you do, you know where there’s work to be done.

Applying your dialogue tips- 

The tips above aren’t quick fixes. You’ll need to work on them throughout the course of your writing. Don’t feel overwhelmed. Consider them one at a time. Do whatever works for you. This is all just meant to help. 

And remember,

NEVER STOP WRITING!

[kathrynmaslow]

Love Lies 4/15

Summary: Ever since Emma was 13, she knew she had the ability to destroy people if she wanted to, and some days, she really wanted to. After being forced to go to Greenwood Academy following a traumatizing event in her childhood that brought to the surface her ability to manipulate fire, she never thought she would be free of the place. So for nearly 10 years, she lived a solitary existence with the exception of her best friends, but that was all about to change. Killian Jones had just been sentenced to attend the university campus at Greenwood Academy after an accident at sea caused him to be dishonorably discharged from Her Majesty’s royal Navy and lose his hand. He doesn’t know what to think about these newfound powers and what they spell for the rest of his now not-so-normal life. But a chance encounter one day has the ability to change all of that. A story about love and redemption between two people that shows, if you have the right person beside you, you can find a light in the darkness. Rating: M Content Warnings: Mentions of Violence/Death, Brief mention of Childhood Abuse/Sexual Assault, Mild Sexual Content

Chapter Notes: Chapter 4 has arrived! I thought I wouldn’t actually have time to post today since I had to make a 6 hour drive back from one of my friend’s weddings, but looks like I was able to get back into town sooner than I expected. Thanks to the Mods for being flexible and allowing me to post tomorrow if needed. I figured this chapter, since I haven’t done so already, I would clue you into the meaning behind the stories title! It is actually a song title, “Love Lies” by Khalid and Normani. I found the lyrics of the song to fit so well to this story that I couldn’t think of a better chapter title than that song.

This chapter is actually from Killian’s point of view, so we get to peak into his head and find out a little bit about what he is thinking about Greenwood academy and his thoughts on Emma as well! Thanks again as always to my beta @daveyjacobsthepotterhead and my artist @princesse-swan, I couldn’t have asked for two better collaborators on this project!

Read on FF

Catch up on Tumblr: One  Two  Three

Art by @princesse-swan here

Enjoy!

Chapter 4 Killian hated this god forsaken school, or whatever the hell they decided this glorified prison was supposed to be.

He hated that he was sent here after his hearing with the Royal Navy.

That he was now half a world away from his brother.

And he hated that he didn’t have control over his own life anymore.

Ever since the incident that got him marshalled by the Navy, dishonorably discharged, and exiled to this rubbish school, he had been decidedly unhappy with the direction that his life was spiraling.

But then again, in comparison to that, maybe sitting through his Introductory Biology course was the least horrible thing that he could be doing right now.

Shuffling his notebook around to try and start a new page while the professor droned on about the Krebs cycle seemed to create an unnecessary amount of noise. Still not used to only operating with one hand, and Greenwood not having approved the production of a working prosthetic hand for him, Killian found the most frustrating things to be something that used to be easy before he lost his hand.

And the way the glove that they had fitted his other hand with didn’t make life any easier, since he didn’t have the fine motor skills that he was used to. But then again, ever since they fitted it; and removed those horrible iron gloves that made his already concussed head spin and stomach flip, he hadn’t felt a single rumbling of that oozing darkness inside him.

The darkness that had blotted out the world that day and obscured everything on that ship-

Killian stopped that thought in its tracks. He wasn’t going to dwell on what had gotten him stuck here in the first place. Scrambling to get the rest of the cycle written down in his notebook, he tried to focus back on the lecture in front of him.

That was a good thing at least, that he was afforded the opportunity to go to school and get a university degree. Since he had followed Liam’s footsteps into the Navy eight years ago, he had thought occasionally about stepping back a bit and going to university and getting his degree. But what had stopped him was not necessarily knowing what he wanted to spend the rest of his life doing, because whenever he looked into his future, he always saw himself spending his life at sea, traveling the world with his brother.

Glory for the Jones Brothers.

Killian sighed. Not anymore.

The professor called lecture to a close at that point, assigning the reading for the next class later in the week. Killian sighed again and placed his pen down, scrubbing his gloved hand over his eyes.

Another frustration about this damnable place, he couldn’t even feel the skin of his own hand anymore, because the glove wouldn’t come off.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a way to remove it himself, and they hadn’t said anything to him when they gave it to him about not being able to remove it.

Then again, he didn’t really care at the time, he just wanted those….poisonous gloves removed.

Working to shove all of his stuff in his bag, Killian got stuck waiting for the rest of the students in his row of the lecture pit to exit so he could stand and just dump everything into the bottom of his bag.

He could sort through it again when he got back to the prison cell they called his dorm room.

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Killian watched as the last of the students in the pit filed out ahead of him, some throwing a weary glance at his glove. Apparently word traveled fast around this school as to who came in with some new, scary power; and that immediately made others weary of him, and others like him he supposed.

“Is everything alright Mr. Jones?” Professor Hopper asked from the front of the lecture pit.

Killian nodded his head yes in return, not really feeling like giving an oral response, and turned to head up the stairs out of the lecture pit.

“Just give them time Mr. Jones, new students take some time to get used to.” Killian paused at the words, shoulders and back tensing he was sure was meant to be reassuring.

Killian did arrive at the school a few weeks into the term, and while many professors had been very accommodating to him having extra time to make up the course work, since he was stuck here during the school breaks, the students hadn’t been as receptive. Shaking his head again, he made it up the last few steps and pushed his way out of the doors leading out of the pit and into the lobby.

He paused outside of the building, wondering where to go next. He didn’t have any more classes for the day, but he also didn’t want to spend the time holed up in his dorm room doing nothing.

As he was contemplating what to do, Killian spotted a familiar blonde head walking through the throng of students towards the library.

Smiling, Killian increased his pace to try and catch up with her.

He watched as she ducked into the front doors of the library, catching her headed to the right as the glass doors closed behind her. Killian finally made his way up the steps and into the building.

He hadn’t been to the library often since he started at the school, so he didn’t realize the sheer size of the space when he walked in after her.

To the right of the main lobby was a large study room, with dozens of tables and computers and groups of students studying. He paused just inside the entrance, hearing a handful of students grumble as they moved around him into the room, and scanned the space for her.

After a few minutes of searching, he finally spotted her at a table by herself in the corner, headphones over her ears and hunched over a notebook. Killian began weaving his way across the room over to her table, ignoring the glances that the students gave him as he walked past.

He set his bag down loudly on the floor next to hers and scrapped the chair out across from her.

She started, her pen scratching across the page of her journal, and she looked up at him, surprised.

She moved to pause her music and shifted her headphones off her ears. “Killian, this is a surprise.”

“Mind if I join you love?” He asked, gesturing to the chair he had just pulled out.

“Not at all.” She said, then looked down at the journal in front of her and scowled.

Killian looked down as he took his seat and saw the drawing that she had been working on was now marred by a harsh line of ink straight across the center of the entire page. “Terribly sorry about that, if I would have known what you were working on I wouldn’t have startled you that way.”

“I wasn’t entirely happy with the direction it was going anyway, so maybe it was for the best.” She commented, shrugging. She made to turn the page in her notebook to a fresh page when he reached out and placed his hand on her wrist to stop her.

She jerked her hand back from his as if she had been shocked. He tried not to take the action as a slight against him.  

“Mind if I take a look?” Killian asked, gesturing to her notebook.

“Umm, yeah, sure.” Emma mumbled, rubbing at the bracelet on her wrist.

Eyeing her warily, seeing how jumpy she was with him all of a sudden, he slowly turned her notebook around so the bottom of the page was facing him. She had the rough outline of a woman, reaching her hand up towards the sky to grasp at something. It looked like it was turning out to be something marvelous, but he had unfortunately ruined it.

“It looks great Swan, if I hadn’t dropped in and ruined it like that it would have probably turned out to be amazing.” he said, passing the notebook back to her.

“The proportions were all off, and I don’t really like the way she is standing anyway, so maybe-”

“It really does look like something great, you have a lot of talent Emma.” She ducked her head as a beautiful blush spread across her cheeks.

“Thanks Killian, what are you doing in the library?” She asked, then cringed. “Sorry, that came out wrong, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way.”

“It’s okay, I was just looking for somewhere else to study besides my dorm room.” He said.

“Me too, that happens a lot more often than you would think.” Emma said, flipping the page of her notebook. “What are you studying?”

“Biology, Dr. Hopper was going over the Krebs cycle today and I have to admit, I didn’t listen as well as I should have. We have a test coming up next week that I will most certainly fail if I don’t make any progress.” Killian said, working to pull his textbook out of his bag. “What about you?”

“Not necessarily studying, just wanting to get out of my dorm. Also, my friends know that I don’t want to be bothered if I’m here.” Emma said nonchalantly.

Killian thought over that phrase for a second. He hadn’t had the time to make many friends at this school yet, but he didn’t really know if he had a place that he liked to go when he didn’t want to be bothered.

There really wasn’t any kind of personal space when you are deployed on a vessel in the middle of the ocean with 300 other men; so he supposed he wasn’t used to having a placed he could necessarily call his own without having to share it with anyone.

Maybe that was why his private quarters here bothered him so much.

The fact that she said she wished to be alone earlier clanged through him again. “Would you like me to leave you alone then?”

He would leave her alone if she wished, but he fervently hoped otherwise.

Emma shook her head at him, “No, you’re fine,” She said, “I know that you don’t have some ulterior motive to drop in on me like they sometimes do.”

He quirked an eyebrow.

“They just don’t get me sometimes, I guess.” Emma said, “They bug me about things that they all would worry about, but that don’t necessarily apply to me. Sorry, I’m not making any sense.”

She continued to rub at her wrists in a nervous manner while she was rambling. Once she realized he was watching her, she pulled her shirt sleeves back down to cover the bracelets at her wrists.

Killian reached his hand out tentatively towards her wrist, pushing back her sleeve and lightly touching; or he hoped it was a light touch, he couldn’t tell through the glove, the bracelet at her wrist. “What are these?”

She looked down at them morosely, a look of longing in her eyes, “You obviously haven’t been here very long if you don’t know what these are.” Showing him both the bracelets on her delicate wrists, she continued. “They are suppression bracelets. They knock my powers down to a level where I can’t access them anymore.”

“You say that like you want to be able to use them again.” He stated, a question hidden in the phrase.

If he had the chance, he would never feel that rolling darkness under his skin ever again. He didn’t like feeling that out of control and lost as he did that first time his powers manifested.

“How much do you know about me Killian?” She asked, wary. He didn’t know what to make of the sudden walls going up in her expression. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong.

“No more than you have told me love.” He said honestly, trying to dispel the sudden tension.

“My powers come from fire, and I miss the warmth and life that the flames brought. The safety and protection they made me feel.” She looked saddened as she spoke, like she was talking about a long lost friend. He said as much to her.

“Yeah, I suppose I am.” She gave him a sad smile, wrapping her arms around herself a bit. Maybe that was how she tried to feel that warmth that the flames gave her again.

“Well, now that I’ve taken this conversation in a horribly morose direction, I suppose I must propose a new topic of discussion. You said you understood the Krebs Cycle?”

She hadn’t, he remembered belatedly, but he hoped she would be able to help.

Emma tucked her hair behind her right ear, and nodded her head. “Yeah, what didn’t you understand again?” Leaning towards him, she waited patiently as he worked to get the textbook open to the right section.

Turning the book around to face her, he pressed down on the binding with his shortened arm. The Diagram splayed out between the two pages was fully displayed for her. Gesturing to a section he explained how what Dr. Hopper had told them during his lecture differed from how the textbook explained it.

She gave him a small smile as he rambled on in his explanation. The haunted look still hadn’t left her eyes, but Killian vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to keep that look from her eyes as long as she let him.

[dandelionpie]

So I’ve been Having Ideas About My Future lately. And right now this one feels like the very beginning of a soap bubble - the part where you’ve started to blow into it but it hasn’t closed around itself yet. And I want to be really cautious with it so it doesn’t just pop before it can even get into the air, so I wasn’t gonna talk about it for a while, but also.

[Click through for a very long post about Maddy’s Career Options - replies are fine but please be gentle with my baby bubble hopes]

Okay, you guys.

So I was on the phone with my mother the other day, and I was having a sort of a panic attack (you know, like you do when you’re on the phone with your mother [kidding this is not normal and should not be trivialized, etc]), and I was trying to conceal this fact from her but it was Not Working. And I was dismayed about where my life was going, my lack of definite plans for a career, etc., and she said, “You know, I was actually gonna tell you - we had a lady come visit our school the other day and she’s an art therapist.”

And...here’s the thing. Usually my mother’s career suggestions kind of go in one ear and out the other. Because my mom’s great! Really! But she isn’t me, and she doesn’t always get what my life is like. So I usually just say “hm, yeah, I’ll look into it,” and then I don’t.

But I had genuinely just forgotten that art therapy existed. I knew about art, and I knew about therapy, and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that people were putting those two things together, but somehow I’d just sort of filed that info in the General Trivia drawer instead of the Potential Grown-Up Jobs one. And...I’m getting sort of cautiously excited about the idea.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS I HAVE HAD SINCE THAT CONVERSATION

(I Started Writing Them Down and Then They Became Legion)

Every piece of art I like has a strong psychological element. That’s the common thread, dammit. That’s why I’m so picky about song lyrics, that’s why I can’t get into a book unless it’s got some sort of strong interpersonal/intrapersonal thread for me to snag my little English major hooks in. At the end of the day, the narratives that interest me are the ones where people are constantly feeling and processing things and I have to think a lot about why they’re doing that the way they’re doing it.

Not trying to sound like I think I’m super virtuous or whatever, but I tend to see good in most people, which might be an asset in that field? I get along well with a lot of personality types that friends of mine have cited as abrasive. Like, I can find people obnoxious but still notice enough of their good qualities to enjoy their company or at least tolerate it. And that’s a strength that’s served me well on a personal level, and a little on a professional level too (getting along with people helps just about anywhere), but I never thought of it as something I could use to particular effect in an actual career track.

That said, I have NO background in psychology. I had a couple lab rats, but they didn’t really teach me any of their secrets.

On cursory examination I have decided that I Do Not Like neurology. I have a lot of friends who seem to love it and that’s great, but....look, it just freaks me the fuck out. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent so much of my adulthood (read: all of it) preoccupied with the vulnerability of my physical being to various surgery-requiring problems. But the idea of my mind (that place where I spend so very very much of my time) being subject to the physical limitations of my brain (a part of my corporeal body [which has in the past proven itself to be somewhat unpredictable]) is so fucking terrifying to me that I’d prefer to spend as little time on that as possible please and thank you.

(Aside: I know the phrase “I don’t like the Brain; I just like the Mind) is like peak dualism, but I’m sure you all know what I mean, right? It’s possible to think about and work with the mind without focusing on the physical brain that gives rise to it. I’ve been doing that on the client end of things for years.)

A lot of the art I do is actually pretty therapeutic! To me, I mean. I never did figure out how to translate the whole cancer thing into an autobio comic (I eventually realized I simply didn’t want to and it was one of the most liberating moments of my life). But I have been relying on art for years to process my trauma. Most of my creative projects and ideas for them go back to that in some way, even if it doesn’t come across to the other people who experience them.

That said, I am...not the biggest autobio comic fan. There are so many things about that genre that rub me the wrong way. I’m glad it exists, I just don’t tend to enjoy consuming or creating autobio comics.                                       However, this might be a chance to see autobio comics through a new lens! And it also has the potential to set me apart - there are quite a few art therapists, but I’ll bet there are fewer whose background is in comics specifically.

I could have an office. I could go into private practice and have a place that I could build into a safe space for people to talk about their problems and work on them. I know it’s just a little thing (and I’m not sure yet if private practice would be feasible/right for me, at least right away), but I like the idea of making physical space for that kind of work.                                                                  (And if I sometimes also used it as a studio for comics, well, I don’t think that’s illegal or anything.)

I could be relatively independent in my career. I could work for an agency (and I think I’d probably have to, at first, but I gotta look into how all that works), but I could also spend at least some of my time in private practice, or working pro bono or on a sliding scale, or doing other stuff that allows me a great deal of flexibility and control over my schedule.

I like the idea of a type of schooling that has experience built into it. Like, you have to get a certain number of internship hours before you can be certified. I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but it’s nice to see a field that’s so up-front about the fact that you need experience before you can do your job.

A lot of art therapists work with traumatized kids, and I find that prospect faintly terrifying. But also maybe it would be good to get over that, if I want to Help People and Use My Strengths to Do Good Things In the World. Those kids are gonna be traumatized either way, and if I can handle it, it’d probably be cool if I helped them.

It would be so nice to not be broke literally all the time. Even with student loans, I think this has the potential to help that happen, if I do my research and play my cards right. And I might even be able to work *gasp* less than 40 hours a week, thereby freeing up my time for other projects. Or, you know, kids. Hell, maybe I’d even be able to feed them.

Nobody would be able to make me work Saturdays.

Not sure yet whether it’d be better to get an Actual Art Therapy Degree or do a more general thing and then get a specific art therapy certification after/during that? I’m leaning towards the latter because I’d like more versatility, but I’m getting the sense that the rules for who can call themself an art therapist are slightly stricter in Oregon, so I’m gonna have to talk to the people who run the program.

What with the horse in the hospital and all that, I was thinking about a career in activism. But I’m not sure I have the temperament to be a lawyer, and I hate talking to strangers (I’ll do it if I have to, but damned if I’m gonna go door-to-door every day). But this way, I could maybe help activists balance their lives and their activism. Activists need therapists.

I could help people like me, with medical trauma. I know all about medical trauma! It has literally been a constant since I was 18! And in college and after, I hated feeling like my problems were fake and that my illness affecting my life was the result of some moral defect. Without therapy, I don’t know if I would have kept going to doctors and trying to figure everything out.

Visual art has in many ways been a great avenue leading away from self-harm, for me. The physicality of it is so much more powerful, for me, than almost anything else.

I’ve been so conflicted lately with lots of ideas about art-as-saleable-product vs. art-as-catharsis-and-narrative-control. I kind of thought my interest lay in the former but now I’m wondering if maybe it’s the latter. Like, I still love comics and storytelling and I want to make comics for people to read, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to do advertising. I don’t want to build a brand. I just want to tell stories and draw pretty pictures that make people happy. And I know that’s not what art therapists do, but in some ways it feels like the field still lines up better with my goals than commercial illustration. Does that make sense?

Lewis and Clark has a program. PSU has a program (though not an art therapy one specifically I think). There are online ones and low-residency ones as well, although honestly I think I function best in a classroom. Right now I think I’m leaning towards L&C because I’ve heard really good things about their education grad programs from a couple of people, but: gotta look further into it.

I’m liking the prospect of being a student again. I like going to lectures. I like notebooks and pencils and pens and libraries. And according to one person I talked to, as a therapist you actually have to keep taking courses throughout your career as the field changes. It’s like a condition for licensure or something (at least in some parts of the field). I’d love to be able to keep learning my entire life in such a deliberate way.

And I think I’d be better at being a student now than I was at Reed. I remember realizing waaay too late that you could just...ask your professors for help with stuff. And they could say no! But they weren’t going to, like, set me on fire. So what if I just set up a meeting with someone involved in a program and said, “Hey, look, I have no psych background and an intense interest in therapeutic work; how do I do this?” They could tell me to go away, but that’s probably about it. In a way, I think it might be nice to take another stab at academia - redeem myself.

(I have no idea what my Reed GPA is and should probably figure that out. Pretty sure I got a C in Chem and at least one other class? But maybe they won’t mind.)

My original plan had been to fund my comics habit with a freelance illustration career. Because almost nobody makes a living in comics, at least not just in comics. It happens, but very rarely does it happen with creator-owned work. A lot of indie comics artists freelance or have some other sort of art day job, and I thought that was a lifestyle I could get into.  

But the Horrible Deep Dark Secret is...I don’t actually like freelancing that much, at least with my life the way it currently is. I mean, I love drawing and I love not being broke, so please keep sending people my way if they want someone to draw something (please please please I need the money). But the illustration industry is downright exhausting. It’s so hard to switch off, and it’s so much work even convincing people you deserve to get paid, let alone getting them to pay you. Mad kudos to anyone who has the time/energy to do that, but I’m not sure I do, at least at this point in my life.

But if I was planning to supplement my comics with another, art-related career anyway, what if I did this instead? What if it ended up being something I, Maddy, could enjoy and feel good about? Doing this (with my temperament) might actually a) pay better b) offer me more time and c) lend a sense of structure to my days that I definitely need and that freelancing sorely lacks.

Actually, having comics projects might even help with work-life balance in this field. I don’t know yet, but I’ve been told that a lot of therapeutic practice is establishing healthy boundaries between your work and your life, and I think it might help to have somewhere else to pour emotional energy when I’m off the clock.

Having another career wouldn’t mean I couldn’t make comics. Hell, it wouldn’t even mean I couldn’t sell comics. I could still make a website and freelance sometimes. I could still set up a Patreon. I could still publish my stuff on the web and in real life. I could still table at cons. And if things started going better than I’ve been planning for them to go, comics-wise, I wouldn’t have to keep being a therapist full-time. I’d have some flexibility, especially in private practice.

Anyway, I literally just started thinking about this a few days ago, so I have no idea if I’m gonna stay this excited about it. But...I’m enjoying looking into it. I’ve felt so much more hopeful the past few days - like my life might actually go someplace I could like. It’s a nice feeling and I would like to keep it.

I dunno. I’ve talked to some people and I’m gonna talk to some more people. Maybe set up an interview at the college in the next couple months if I can swing it. Prereqs would probably be somewhat hellacious, but that’s what I get for majoring in the humanities.

Okay cool I’m gonna go eat something and clean the kitchen. 

[mintdonna2-blog]

How To Teach Your Kids About Other Cultures

As racist and xenophobic sentiments fill news headlines, many parents are wondering how to instill values of acceptance and cultural understanding in their children.

“It’s important to me for my sons to understand that people around the world are just like them and to have empathy for those people, understanding and real global awareness,” Florida mom Akeelah Kuraishi told HuffPost.

Kuraishi ― who was born in England to a Pakistani father and Scottish mother ― put her mission into practice by creating Little Global Citizens, a subscription box meant to teach kids about different cultures and people around the world.

“Young children don’t have societal preconceptions and I think sometimes we forget that,” she explained. “It’s very imperative to take a stand right now to impact the next generation and make sure they are open-minded, compassionate and aware.”

To offer parents some guidance on this front, HuffPost spoke to Kuraishi and Sonia Nieto, author of Affirming Diversity and professor emerita of language, literacy and culture at the University of Massachusetts Amherst College of Education. Here are their tips for teaching kids about cultural diversity.

Start with books

Both Kuraishi and Nieto recommended having reading material at home that reflects the diversity of our world, from magazines to children’s books.

“Books offer a great opportunity to teach kids about different countries and cultures to expand their horizons, even just to get them to say unfamiliar names,” Kuraishi noted.

While reading books that involve different cultures, parents should help their children empathize with the characters. They can ask questions like, “Oh, isn’t it interesting that this person lives with their grandparents or their aunties?” or “Wow, they have chickens at their home. Do you think it would be fun to have chickens? What would that be like?”

“Ask them to think about the differences and make sure to highlight the similarities, like ‘This little boy likes soccer just like you!’ or ‘This child is enjoying a book just like you!,’” Kuraishi said.

Westend61 via Getty Images

Expose children to characters from diverse backgrounds.

Find opportunities in your community

“Expose your children to experiences that they might not ordinarily have and that they can learn from so that as they grow older. They will be comfortable in these situations where they are the only one of whatever background they might be,” Nieto explained. “Exposure is so important. Let them see things they aren’t familiar with yet.”

Nieto recommends taking advantage of community experiences like theater performances, concerts, lectures and museums, which provide a wealth of diverse learning opportunities. While these kinds of experiences are more abundant in large cities, it’s still possible to find them in smaller communities. “You just have to look for it,” she said.

Finding local places of worship can be a helpful route, as they often put on cultural festivals to teach the community about their traditions and allow people from diverse backgrounds to engage with each other.

And although kids might be reluctant to try new things, Nieto noted that it’s all about getting over that initial hurdle.

“It’s just like with food. I’d always ask my kids to try something and said, ‘If you don’t like it, you don’t have to have it,‘” she explained. “But often they would like it, and say ‘Oh yeah this is pretty good.’”

Go to different restaurants

“I think it’s very important to make sure you’re learning from a culture and not about a culture,” said Kuraishi. Going to different kinds of restaurants that are embedded in cultural communities gives kids the opportunity to taste new food, hear other languages and see what people from different cultures wear.

Before visiting restaurants that serve cuisine from a less familiar culture, Kuraishi reads up on it with her sons. “My boys love to learn a few new words in that language and then try them out at the restaurant if we’re lucky enough to go to a restaurant where the staff is actually from the country of origin,” she explained. “People respond so well to it, too. Just dive into restaurants you wouldn’t normally go to.”

“Exposure is so important. Let them see things they aren’t familiar with yet.”

Kuraishi also noted that restaurants are a great entry into diverse communities that you can engage with outside the dining experience.

Foster their curiosity

It’s an all-too-common situation: A parent and child are walking down the street when they pass someone wearing unfamiliar cultural garb or speaking another language. And when the child asks about it, the parent shushes them.

Nieto and Kuraishi advise parents not to do, as it assigns a negative connotation to differences. Rather, they should to take an open and positive approach and encourage those kinds of questions as a way to normalize differences.

“Don’t act like it’s a negative thing that you have to speak in an embarrassed fashion about or be concerned to address. Look at it as a learning opportunity ― to open their minds and expand their horizons. It’s so exciting and fun for them,” said Kuraishi. “Your children are not coming at this from a negative perspective, so make it a positive thing by saying, ‘Oh that’s so cool. I don’t know why she’s wearing this type of clothing, but why don’t we go and learn about it together?’”

Blend Images - KidStock via Getty Images

Kids are naturally curious about other people and cultures. 

These moments can also open the door to learning. “If a child asks about a woman wearing a hijab, for example, you can just say honestly, ‘Women in other religions sometimes cover their hair as part of their religion and a sign of respect. In other religions, men wear yarmulkes, for example.’”

Know there’s nothing wrong with differences

Pretending not to “see race” or “see differences” doesn’t serve kids well. After all, they learn about differences like colors and shapes early on in their education.

“I think we have a problem here in our country of not wanting to notice differences,” said Nieto. “I’ve met many teachers who say ‘Oh, I don’t see differences black or white. All of my kids are the same to me.’ But all of your students are not the same. They come with their beautiful differences, and we should acknowledge those because it’s not as if by avoiding them they cease to exist. They do exist.”

Parents set the tone for how children think about people from other cultures and shouldn’t be shy about differences, Kuraishi noted. “We can set their norms,” she said.

Ultimately, parents need to teach their children that people in the world look different, wear different clothes, eat different foods, listen to different music and more. Kuraishi added that laying this foundation can help prepare kids to succeed in this globally connected world, develop better emotional intelligence skills, feel greater flexibility and creativity, and build more confidence in understanding their role and place in life.

Make it natural

“I think the best way for parents to make sure their children experience diversity is to make it a natural part of life,” Nieto said. She cautioned against taking an overly contrived approach. “It’s not to say ‘Go out and make a black friend!’ because that’s not the most natural way.”

“Work for change in housing policies. Neighborhoods are really segregated by race, ethnicity and social class.”

Ideally, all families would live in highly diverse communities that naturally exposed their kids to differences, she noted. But as that’s not the reality in the U.S., Nieto advised parents to get involved politically.

“Work for change in housing policies. Neighborhoods are really segregated by race, ethnicity and social class,” she said. “If we live such segregated lives, parents may feel like they need to import diversity, which is not very natural.”

Use other media

There helpful digital resources to help kids learn about differences. Kuraishi recommends language learning apps like Gus on the Go, Little Pim, and Duolingo. “There are also some great TV shows, like ‘Super Wings,’ which takes kids on a journey to a different country in every episode,” she said. “As parents, it’s important to be intentional about what your kids are watching and making sure the children characters are representative of a diverse spectrum.”

Nieto pointed to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Teaching Tolerance project, which includes resources for educators and other caring adults ― as well as a magazine. She is also a fan of Teaching For Change and Rethinking Schools.

Educate yourself

If you don’t feel comfortable having these conversations as a parent, it’s important to educate yourself.

“Often I think we’re stuck in our own silos, and we’re afraid to venture out,” Nieto said. Reading, taking classes, seeing different movies or joining a book club with diverse selections are good ways to start.

“If you read the news right now, you see that our world needs a hefty dose of empathy, and it’s not really taught in schools,” Kuraishi explained. “It’s something we have to teach as families.”

The Little Global Citizens CEO draws inspiration from a quote by author Rachel Naomi Remen: “When we know ourselves to be connected to all others, acting compassionately is simply the natural thing to do.”

“I think that should be a guiding force for our generation of parents to make sure the world is better for our kids,” Kuraishi added.

Parenting is harder than ever, and there’s no one way to do it right. So on November 2, HuffPost Life will convene a community of people trying to figure it out together at our inaugural HuffPost Parents conference, HOW TO RAISE A KID. In advance of the event, HuffPost Parents will publish stories on topics that matter deeply to parents of children who are starting to navigate the world on their own: bullying; sex, consent and gender; money; their digital lives; and how to raise compassionate, self-sufficient, creative, emotionally intelligent children. In short — kids who aren’t assholes. View the event site here and be sure to follow HuffPost Parents on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to our newsletter, How Not To Raise A Jerk.

Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-teach-your-kids-about-other-cultures_n_5bc76b47e4b0d38b58746bac

[nofomoartworld]

Data Everywhere, Statisticians Anywhere

I had the honor to deliver the commencement speech at the UCLA Statistics graduation this past weekend. I’m going to put this here for posterity before my memory tucks it away never to be uttered again. I truncated the speech last minute, so these notes are little more coherent than my delivery.

A big congratulations to all of you! It took a lot of work, a lot of distributions, sampling, and debugging in R to get here today, but you made it. Today’s your day.

For me, it’s weird standing up here seeing all you statisticians. When I was in undergrad, statistics was more of a required course than a field of study. I was an electrical engineering major, but around the end of my third year, I decided it wasn’t for me. I told my parents that I was going to grad school for statistics instead. It was quiet for a while. And my parents, who are all about finding what you love and going for it, asked, “Are you sure about this… statistics thing? Are you going to be able to find a job with that?” When I told my future father-in-law, he wasn’t so thrilled about it either.

So there was a ton of confidence back then in the future of statistics, especially in my family. So was I sure about statistics? Sort of? I didn’t know what I was going to do after school. I knew I liked to poke at data though, deciphering what all those numbers meant. It kind of felt like a magic power. When everyone else ran from distributions, I was having fun.

It’s a different story these days. Statistician is the sexy job of the decade, landing itself in lists of top jobs year after year.

I started to feel the shift during my second year here.

Like I said, I came to UCLA with a vague idea of what I wanted to do with statistics. The most exciting thing to me was the applied nature of it. I could use stat with a bunch of topics. I had statistics education in mind in the beginning. Looking at how we could teach younger kids complex concepts in an engaging way. Rob Gould showed me the possibilities. Then I shifted to data visualization, looking at how we can use interactive charts and graphs to understand data better. How it played a role in the everyday. Mark Hansen showed me the possibilities. Then I found myself at The New York Times making data graphics for the news. Then collaborating with graphic designers and artists for museum exhibits. And this was all as a UCLA stat student. A few years out from the PhD, I’m so thankful that my advisers and professors set me up with strong foundations and then gave me the flexibility to find what I really wanted to do. I’m sure all of you can relate.

Now look at me. I blog for a living. The other day, my wife’s co-worker said if she saw “blogger” on someone’s Tinder profile, she would swipe left in a heartbeat, which means instant rejection for those unfamiliar. So yeah, I have that going for me.

Of course, if we’re gonna be real, we all know you lead with “statistician” in your profile. Everyone’s gonna swipe right when they see “statistics.” It gets people’s attention these days, whether it be for online dating or for a job search.

But back to blogging, the greatest career move ever. I’ve learned a lot by blogging about statistics over the years. It turns out there’s a lot to gain by dealing with trolls and know-it-alls on the internet, which is why I’ll use the rest of my time to bestow upon you the three most important things I’ve learned as a blogger. Hopefully you can use them in your future stat careers, and maybe one day, you too can be a blogger like me.

So let’s get to it.

Lesson 1.

As evidenced by my own career path, statisticians can now work anywhere there is data, and data is everywhere. It’s not just in cubicles, in big tech companies, or academics. With the growing parts of our lives that take place online we produce data like never before, and there are a lot of people, groups, and companies that want to understand these new streams.

Running a site online, I tend to get a lot of recruitment email and business inquiries from these interested people, which gives you a good idea of who’s looking for help with their data. Interest is all across the board, ranging from tech and business analytics, to journalism, publishing, to non-profits and humanitarian efforts, to retail, sports, gaming, government, academic, and all the way to art galleries and children’s museums.

The spectrum for where you can go is really wide. On one end there’s the analytical side of data where you draw quantitative insights for data-driven decisions, and then on the other end, there is the beauty and stories in data that are more qualitative. Looking at what data represents and the social implications of it all. It’s not as easily measured, but equally important. UCLA statistics has given you the skills to make yourself indispensable across the spectrum.

A weird thing though is that the job titles are rarely “statistician.” It’s always data analyst, data engineer, data scientist, data journalist, data something or other. And as new grads, you might feel a little bit of imposter syndrome start to creep in. A feeling that maybe you don’t have what it takes. But you do have it takes. If you look at the job requirements, you almost always see “statistics degree or equivalent.” I think that’s telling of where statistics is headed and what it’s grown into over the years.

Bottom line: You, with the stat degree, can be a data scientist. You can be a data engineer. And yes, you can even be a blogger. The job title doesn’t matter. You’re ready for it and have what it takes to learn anything you don’t know yet, because at the core, you’re a statistician.

Lesson 2.

People care about data. They care about statistics. And it’s not just the nerdy people anymore. It’s not just the people who have data or the ones who analyze it. Millions of people around the world are interested in probabilities, simulations, distributions, space, time, relationships and uncertainty.

Sports commentators talk about analytics during general broadcasts now. ESPN acquired the the rights to political data blog FiveThirtyEight. The New York Times has a prominent data-centric section called The Upshot. Even me, a one-man shop – a statistician working from a home office – is able to prosper. There’s so much data on so many different topics that people are eager to learn about what’s going on in the world or with themselves, from a statistical point of view.

When I started FlowingData, I just wrote to connect with other data people. I had just finished my master’s and I had to move to Buffalo because my wife was starting her medical residency there. It was my outlet and a way to catalog different types of visualization as I tried to finish my PhD remotely. So it was a few hundred people who read at best. Probably fewer. Maybe five. Now it’s on the scale of millions. Just to look at charts and graphs and read about statistics. That’s still crazy to me, even though I’ve been doing it for a while.

A few months back, I used openly available data on mortality from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The data has been free to download for years, as evidenced by the challenging interface to access the data. But millions of people around the world visited FlowingData to interact with charts and graphs. Crazy. It was a similar case for a simulation I made to show the average day for Americans. I used a Monte Carlo method, and the R code was similar to what I used for my dissertation. It got the attention of millions. I won design awards. Me, a statistician.

I mention these not to brag. What I hope that you can see is the scale at which you can reach others who maybe don’t even know they like data. The audience isn’t just other statisticians or other data people anymore. It’s the general public. With so many interested in statistics, that can only mean great things for you.

For me, most importantly, my parents aren’t hesitant about my career path anymore, and my now father-in-law gave me his blessing to marry his daughter.

Lesson 3.

You can use this heightened interest to your advantage. All these new capsules of attention that used to wander elsewhere, you can use it as a way to teach statistics and improve data literacy for people at all levels of stat knowledge.

There’s really no better student than one who is eager to learn. That makes the job easy, because you can give someone the material and they soak it up like a sponge. Just ask my three-year-old who’s nerding out to superheroes every waking minute.

However, the increased interest also means a lot more people who think they know it all because they read an introductory book or article on statistics, or in my case, visualization. They troll you. They talk down to you when maybe they should be asking you for advice.

A younger, ruder version of me would just mutter profanities under my breath. Or, I’d just shake my head and tell myself those sort of people should go learn some real statistics.

That’s the easy way out though, and nobody gets anything out of that interaction. Besides, it’s not what statisticians do. We’re all about rigor and due diligence and paying close attention to the tiny details. Question every single digit.

Where others barely graze the surface, you know how to examine data in depth.

You know that correlation doesn’t equal causation, but you also know how to find out when it does. You know how to find trends and patterns, but you also know when you’re just looking at statistical noise. You know how to lie with statistics, but most importantly, you know how to tell the truth with statistics.

So use these moments of angst that you’ll inevitably come across as a chance to educate others. Especially these days, finding the truth with data is more important than ever. Embrace the responsibility, and we’ll all come out better in the end.

At the same time, it goes the other way. Never stop learning. Accept that you don’t know everything and seize opportunities to collaborate with others across the data spectrum. Sometimes statisticians get stuck in a stat bubble, where analysis and theory rules over everything else data-related. Obviously, that’s our strong suit, so that makes sense, but others have their own strengths, whether it be technical know-how, research in visual perception, experience with data presentation, or telling stories with data. The best work hands-down comes from those with a multi-disciplinary mindset. So keep learning. Data is a lot more fun that way.

Besides, you don’t want to get stuck in that ivory tower. It gets lonely up there. Super cold, dank. Sometimes the toilet breaks unexpectedly and you have to walk all the way down the stairs because there’s no elevator. It’s just not a good place to be.

So there you have it. Three lessons.

Lesson 1. Data is everywhere, and therefore, you can go anywhere and make a difference.

Lesson 2. People care about data, and it’s on a much bigger scale now, which makes statistics that much more exciting.

Lesson 3. With so much attention, it’s your responsibility to teach others about data, which also means we must never stop learning.

And now, all of you can be bloggers too in addition to your future stat careers. Woo.

Whatever you do at the end of the day, when presented with so many possibilities, it’s my hope that you choose to do good with your magic powers. I have little doubt though because you graduated from UCLA statistics.

Tags: commencement

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