#I love u beth forgive me

[sick-puppy-island]

What I imagine happens inbetween scenes on ‘Mutiny On Soundstage’ (S2 Ep25)

[luveline]

bethie omg🥺🥺🥺need to see dad Steve telling her she’s not weird and grandma is evil!!! love u

love you ♡ kisses before dinner mom!reader

Steve has lost his temper with you a few times and he's yelled, but each time he apologised afterward like the guilt was eating him alive, and he's never made you feel unsafe. He's the opposite of that, he's your sanctuary, and you wish you could be that for him now. Dove is crying and Bethie's hiding in the kitchen —you don't really have a choice but to let him recover by himself. 

He stands in the middle of the living room with his hands over his face, just breathing. Beyond Dove's tears, a shocked silence has descended on the room. One minute Steve's mom was here, and mean, and the next she's being shouted at and forced out of the house. You weren't sure what was even said, but you caught the gist, and you don't regret his reaction or have any intentions of telling him off. It would've been nicer if he didn't blow up in front of the girls, but you can't always choose. 

“What's wrong?” you ask Dove quietly, kneeling in front of her. She walks into your arms for a hug, but changes her mind and flops to the floors between your knees and the couch to cry there. “Dove?” 

“Boppy,” she whines, putting her wet face on your legs. 

“Boppy?” She wants her bottle. “Let's go make your boppy. Come on, come here.” 

You help her up and she wraps her arms around your neck for immediate departure. You stop by Steve's side despite her grizzling and take his arm into your hand. He rubs his eyes. 

“You okay?” you ask, a little worried he's going to snap at you too.

He drops his chin down, blinking at you. Dove cries and his head turns to her, a frown pulling at his lips. “I'm sorry,” he says. 

“She just wants her bottle,” you assure him. 

He turns on the spot to find Avery on the couch. “Honey, I'm sorry for yelling. Are you okay?” 

“I'm fine, dad. You're not yelling at me. Are you?” 

Steve pushes his sleeves up to his elbows and flattens his dishevelled hair. He looks nicer now he's not mad, handsomer, his pretty almond eyes wide and looking for forgiveness. “I really wasn't, did it feel like I was?” He puts his arms out and Avery bolts into them, giggling as Steve pulls her up into his arms for a dashing of heavy kisses along her hairline. “Your grandma, she makes me so mad–” He cuts off before he can rile himself up again. “Well. She left. I'm so sorry for yelling, honey.” 

“It's okay,” Avery says, voice warm with love as she squeezes him close in a hug. He groans in pretend squashedness.

“Thank you.” He whips his head back. “Where's Beth?”

“She went to hide in the kitchen,” Avery whispers. 

“Yeah? Do you want to come and make sure she's okay with me?” 

You're headed to the kitchen for milk anyways. Together, the four of you make your way out of the chaos of the living room and into your kitchen. Beth is a bundle of blue loungewear under the table, her little face pressed to her knees, arms wrapped around them as she sniffs. 

You feel a strange pain, then. It's more obvious to you why Steve started shouting as suddenly as he did, worse when Steve has crawled under the table to ask if she's okay, and her breath catches as she insists, “I'm not weird.” 

“No,” he says softly, “you're not weird.” 

“Because gran'ma–” 

“You're not weird, honey, even if she said you are.” 

“I eat the puffs… th'edges are sharp,” she says sadly.

“I know. I want you to eat them exactly how you want to. I don't care what grandma said, and I've told her she can't ever say it to you again.” You watch Steve from the corner of your vision as you fill a bottle for Dove one handed, patting her back as she whines. He takes both of Beth's hands into one of his, head ducked so as not to hit it on the table. “Beth, you're not weird, babe. And there's nothing wrong with being weird, but you're not weird. It's okay to eat stuff differently. I promise it's okay, just like how I eat crust on pizza first, yeah? That's not weird.” 

“You're not even weird,” Avery says supportively. 

“But–” Bethie frowns, tears in her eyes. “She said I was.” 

“Grandma says lots of things that aren't true. I'm sorry, Beth.” Steve rubs the back of her hand. “Grandma used to say I was greedy, and that I was going to get fat. But I never did, and it wouldn't have mattered if I did, either, because there's nothing wrong with eating well. She makes you feel like being one way is a bad thing, but that's because she… I don't know, she just isn't as nice as she could be.” 

“You're not greedy,” Bethie says. 

“Well, not all the time,” he says. 

“You're not greedy, dad!” Avery says. “You're just a growing boy!” 

He laughs and squints at her. “I'm all done growing, babe, I'm a grown up. I haven't done any growing for, like, eight years.” 

“That's true,” you say, adjusting the bottle in Dove's mouth, leaning against the counter to take her heavy weight better. “You're shrinking.” 

He sends you a look that's practically a kiss. “I thought you liked my hunch back?” 

Bethie laughs at his tone and shuffles out across the floor to hug his knees. He breathes a sigh of relief, dropping his face into the back of her head. “I'm sorry if you didn't like my yelling, Beth. Not nice of me.” 

“But it was for me?” she asks. 

“Sort of, sweetheart. A little bit for me, too.” He covers her back with his arms. She practically disappears. “I'll never let her say mean things about you.”

“Me neither!” Avery says. 

Steve drags her into the cuddle puddle. “That's ‘cus you're the best big sister on the entire planet.” 

“And dad's the best dad,” you butt in. 

“Yeah,” Beth says, smiling as Avery wraps an arm around her waist. “Best dad ever that they made.” 

[bau-drabbles]

Hi Lia!! I was thinking maybe a drabble where the reader has to leave hotch (because of enemies?) but he was only complete because of the reader especially after Haley? I hope this makes sense but no pressure !! ❤❤❤

aww i love this, thank u sm baby 🤍 hope you enjoy some rushed hotch angst. forgive the mistakes! :')

(request are open!)

written in the stars

his eyes stared at you with such an intensity, you felt like you were burning under his gaze. the argument wasn't supposed to be this bad, every couple had their fair share of fights, this wasn't supposed to be anything more than a couple angry words and then hugs and kisses to make up for it.

except this time it was entirely different. you had been receiving calls threatening to harm hotchner and they had even come close in harming jack. he remained unscathed for the most part, a little scratch on his forehead but it was a close call. and that couldn't happen again.

you wouldn't allow it

meanwhile the words you had just spat at him suffocated his air, his blood turning to ice when he saw your expression harden

"you would do that?" hotch's voice was caught in his throat, setting down his fork. his appetite was long gone, instead he found himself almost pleading with you. it hurt you to hear how small he sounded, how frightened he truly was

"you'd leave us?" his voice was barely above a whisper, already feeling the pit of doom stirring in his stomach. as though everything was spiralling downwards and he had no control over anything.

"i..." it felt like there was a crushing weight on your chest, the words you wanted to desperately say died on your lips. nothing would come out. you couldn't tell him about the threats or the death letters about him, the fact that this person also sent video proof. and somehow they were always a step ahead of you, despite hiring several private investigators. they never knew.

every second you remain silent, your lovers eyes shine with tears

"you're going to leave jack.... and me? just like that?" he repeated and you helplessly look on your plate, unable to think and ration your next move. tonight you were forced to do the one thing you never want to do. something that would haunt the pair of you for months to come

"you have beth, you'll be fine" you murmured, feeling the barricade of your tears threatening to break. but you wouldn't dare, not here. he would know something was wrong and you had to protect him, this time you would show not an ounce of emotion.

"she's not you!" his tone wavered, a little higher pitched due to the tears he was struggling to hold back. hotch took a deep breath in, trying to find some ground to help you see that he needed you. he needed you so intensely, it felt like you were the oxygen he breathed. as though your soul was one with his, he couldn't imagine anyone else.

he comes to you, kneeling on the floor while his hands came to rest on your lap. his optimism makes you want to cry because you know deep down that no solution could help this problem bigger than the both of you. you don't have the heart to tell him, it feels like your breath is stolen as he tries to smile.

"whatever it is, we can work it out. together. i promise you" his eyes hold nothing but sincerity but its only heartbreaking when he sees the resignation reflecting in yours. it cracked your heart piece by piece, knowing that you couldn't stop the pain this time.

"y-you can't. i can't lose you, we can't lose you. i was fine because of you, you helped me feel finally complete after haley. you helped me do that!" it's that sentence that pushes you further over the edge. how could you cause more pain to a man that had gone through literal hell and back for his family?? you knew the state he was in, he wasn't the aaron that sat before you now.

before, he would place emotional barriers up around himself to protect his heart that had grown to fear love and yet crave it simultaneously. the walls were like iron, you had to weld them away bit by bit until you saw a breakthrough. and when you had caught a glimpse of the person underneath, it had shocked you. the heart aaron locked so fiercely lay a gentleness and love you'd never before known, just right beneath the surface. getting his trust was an arduous process to say the least, but it was one you were willing to repeat over and over if it meant ther was a chance for you and him in the end.

but now, you could see your progress beginning to becoming undone by the minute

aaron's lip trembles at the end of his sentence and you see a tear beginning spill down. you want to wipe it away before it has the chance to touch his cheeks, hug him against your chest promising you weren't going anywhere. but you again, stop yourself when you're reminded of that person warning. they would never stop until hotch was dead, until he was eradicated so it was up to you to put a stop to it altogether.

and if that meant hurting him where it stung the most, then so be it. you would rather him hate you than ever be hurt by another person again.

"it's bigger than that. you know i love jack with my whole heart but at this age, i had so many things i wanted to do-" you began but he gently shook your arms, trying to get you to see his perspective.

"you can still do them, i'll help-" you stopped him with a shake of your head

"no, i can't. i can't shoulder responsibility for a child i never wanted.... i can't be there everyday and hope to god that you'd come back to me in one piece" saying these things about jack killed you, he was so incredibly cute and sweet. he was always a total sweetheart, waving big and wide as you picked him from school when his father couldn't make it. but some parts of it were true, everyday he rushed out of his front door you hoped and prayed he would come back unharmed.

he was a perfect brilliant agent and strategic but even he wasn't bulletproof.

"please y/n, please don't do this. i-i'm sorry, i know, this team needs me and i need you. and as for jack, jessica can help with the school runs. it wouldn't be a burden on you" he whispers under his breath, his tears dropping like pearls down his neck. his hands have gripped yours, almost like you'd completely vanish. and you were, you were slipping through the cracks of his fingers and he couldn't do a thing.

"i leave tonight" you whispered, removing his hands from yours. the emptiness in your chest threats to swallow you whole and you welcome it, wanting to feel anything but the pain of the beautiful man in front of you. how with every tear it felt like a dagger in your heart, taunting you that in this life you would never get your happy ever after with him.

all those dreams, all those goals, everything was ripping apart with every second. the reality of the situation was that you both were walking away with a broken heart and there wasn't any fixing it.

"you're what?" his world fell quiet, his grip loosening as he stares at you. he was expecting a smile a joke, anything. but your face is down, unable to hold any eye contact.

"i leave tonight. i'm flying out" your bag was packed, ready to go. you were to ready to leave his life so early as if every thought of you didn't consume him.

"but... you can't. you can't do this to me y/n, please" his hands try to hold you but you've already stood up, a few steps back away.

"i'm sorry aaron" your voice felt muted under the heavy thought in his head, physically unable to move. all you can see is his face shining with tear tracks and him staring jm outer space.

grabbing your bag, you turn as your own tears fall in response.

"please..." you leave his warm home with the soft plead of his words and the ghost of his lips caressing your skin. you weren't sure if he would ever forgive you, you weren't sure if you even deserved that. all you did was hope that maybe one day, the two of you were written in the stars and you'd be together somewhere. someday.

and all he could do was sit on the floor trying to stop the torrent of tears streaming down his cheeks, biting his lips to not make any noise. the last thing he needed was jack to stumble upon him but the thought of his son asking where you were and what happened diminished him further.

there was a pit of sinking sadness and emptiness drowning his heart, covered with the memories of those he swore he would burn. but they unravel themselves and he's forced to sit and let them play. every moment, every second, every hug and ever kiss. he felt it all and there was nothing he could.

he felt so utterly pathetic for crying but even more so for believing you were the one. for believing your words. he wanted to hate you, despise you but just how could you be his enemy when he loved you?

perhaps it was destined for him to spend his life alone. this time those walls would be impenetrable, this time he would not give his heart.

perhaps it was for the best.

[juniperhillpatient]

thank you for tagging me @kiki-strike !! <33

10 characters 10 fandoms 10 (ish) tags!

1. Azula ATLA - she's a girlboss. she's a pathetic poor little meow meow. she's a manipulative mastermind. she's a socially awkward wreck. she's a child soldier whose mother left her & who's father treated her like a weapon. she's the most formidable villain the heroes have ever faced. i love her

2. Ashley Graves TCOAAL - a controversial pick MAYBE but I love to see a demon-worshipping cannibal queen winning (committing unspeakable acts but it's ok because her mom didn't love her & also she is baby have u considered that?) i think ashley should be allowed to commit all the atrocities she wants as a treat on the grounds that her parents were so awful they left her to starve to death & before that, pretended not to notice when she & her brother accidentally killed a girl in middle school

3. Natalie Scatorcio, Yellowjackets - 2 cannibal queens in a row I must have a type <3 I love a tragic hero who is also a violent, dangerous & unstable individual. forgiveness is a nice idea but my poor doomed antler queen will never live to see it... she was a gentle soul (ignore the atrocities) who never got to see a single moment of peace or gentleness in her life

4. Sam Carpenter, Scream - it was nearly impossible for me to pick between my best girls Sidney, Emma, & Sam for this list but I have to go Sam. she's the daughter of a serial killer. she enjoys stabbing people. she sees visions of her dead dad telling her to kill but she loves her friends & her sister more than anything. i adore my dangerous & violent but also oh so sweet babygirl

5. Faith Lehane Buffy the Vampire Slayer - listen, Buffy is the obvious choice for the best character in Buffy OFC. but have you considered. faith is broken & hurt & a little crazy with jealousy & obsession with buffy. she's the dark slayer. she has a dynamic with the wacky evil demonic town mayor that mirrors buffy's relationship with her wholesome (mostly. sometimes demon rebelly) librarian mentor as the dark side of the coin. she's never had anyone pick her first & it kills her but she pretends she doesn't care. i'd die for her

6. Baby Firefly - this time not a confirmed cannibal but my girl is into corpse desecration & necrophilia so I think this is a great list that proves I have excellent taste in fictional characters. "there is no wrong. if someone needs to be killed you kill 'em! that's the way :)"

7. Beth Salinger, Hostel 2 - fave final girl my bestie had a hot lesbian enemies to almost lovers to beheading you & playing soccer with the head dynamic with an evil secret society member who tried to lure her to her death. she also cut off the penis of the man who dared to fuck with her & fed it to a dog so like what more can you even want from a character <3

8. Dennis Reynolds IASIP - having dennis as my fave is soo embarrassing he's such a basic fave but genuinely he's SO fucking pathetic & sad beneath the layers of fake manipulative suave cool rich kid that he thinks he conveys (he doesn't). he's literally just a sad little girl who falls apart & curls up on he ground crying when things get overwhelming. everyone who doesn't understand him thinks he's a mastermind serial killer but they are FALLING FOR HIS ACT

9. Katherine Pierce TVD - THEY HATE TO SEE A GIRLBOSS WINNINGGGGGGG (I don't know Scarlet Witch but I think it's funny to steal the description for #9 for Katherine from the person who tagged me in this hehe) anyway it's funny for me to pick Katherine when I named my cat damon & I have a ginormous shirtless poster of ian somerhalder literally over my bed I'm looking at it right now BUT hear me out. Katherine is my real fave. unforgivable villain who always chooses herself first & also mirrors the protagonist & also she was just a girl once too, a pregnant, scared young girl. if the writers cared about me specifically at all we would've gotten a spin off of Katherine & her daughter instead of what we got

10. Annie Edison Community - much like with buffy the vampire slayer & buffy summers, there is a correct answer to which community character is objectively the best & it's obviously abed. BUT my subjective fave that I latch onto is annie. she's just so babygirl. she had a nervous breakdown in high school because she was always too perfect. she's just out of rehab for adderall when we meet her but it's mostly only referenced or flashed back to as a joke. we never meet her parents but the quotes she references from them are deeply disturbing if you turn off the laugh track & pay attention. she has a fucked up relationship with her good older male friend because #daddy issues. she is obsessed with true crime. there's a monkey named after her boobs. she's the ONLY member of the study group who could've EVER lived with troy & abed & incorporated herself into their dynamic the way she does in episodes like foosball & nocturnal vigilantism. my girl is so silly & a little crazy <3

anyway

thank u for the tag i love rambling about my fave characters!!

I tag: @missjessefantastico, @theowritesfiction @dont-leafmealone, @peony-pearl, @stalker-among-the-stars @bearsandbeansart @chasingfictions @hello-nichya-here, @lunaintheskyforever, @gathering0gloom, @jctko, @jet-apologistmybadhomies, @745voiceofthepeople, @prodogg, @matchamarshmallow

ok if you wanted to be tagged please just say I tagged you also no pressure to the people I tagged it's just for fun if u want :)

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP38 SPOILERS!

i cant believe its already time for another episode. so scared about this one i have no idea whats gonna happen. lets go!

- WHY IS BETH BRITISH

- LITTLE CAESARS I WORK THERE omg me reference in dndads

- THE JOKES IN THE INTRO ARE SO GOOD

- TAYLOR SWIFT A KILLER AT HEART.

- taylor considers scary his close friend awww

- MATT STOP IT W THE BITTERSWEET LINC FACTS ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP W HIS DADS!!! IM SAD

- NORMAL IS A HEELYS KID love that. oh my god just imagine the school mascot just rolling through the halls thats kinda terrifying actually

- I BETTER ACTUALLY SEE BETH IN HEELYS AND FREDDIE IN HIGH HEELS AT THE LIVE SHOW

- im sorry. i just went to the discord to talk about this^ but then saw SUCH A CRAZY SPOILER

- NOOO THE SCARY FACT

- ITS STARTING. MY STOMACH HURTS IM NERVY

- TEAM LOVE WE CAN DO THIS. WE CAN DO THIS (im biting my nails nervously)

- WHY IS MATT ASKING ABOUT THE MARRIAGE RN

- OH FUCK SCARY DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THE MARRIAGE HELPP

- NAT 20??? MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED

- TEAM LOVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOO (im miserable about lincoln and grant)

- oh god sparrow what could u possibly say rn to try to make this better.

- LARK COULDVE KILLED LINC???

- will mentioning batman is making me wonder where hermie is. im insane

- "i dont want a dad!" WAAAAAA 😭

- i KNEW this whole start of the episode would be awkward as hell lmao

- gothcleats....

- HEMRIE AND NICKY!!!! HERMIE AND NICKY!!!!! i actually screamed my bad

- NICKY AS THE LEADER LETS FUCKING GOOOO

- scary applogizing???

- going back to the church of the doodler oh god this is happening

- THE CATBUS!!! THE PUSSYWAGON!!!! YESSS

- anthony w the cat facts so cute

- i cant BELIEVE how far along in the season we are. this is insane. oh my god

- GRANT BROUGHT THE BABY MONITERS :[

- oh the mayor finally has a name now!

- WILLYS IN THERE GODDD

- im so nervous WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

- CAN SOMEONE PLZ DO FANART OF THE STAINED GLASS WINDOW

- STFU WILLY!!!!

- ME WHEN BLUE AND RED SYMBOLISM -deranged yttd fan

- YES FUCKING KILL HIM!!!!

- FOR ONCE. FOR ONCE. NORMAL IS CHOOSING VIOLENCE AND HATE OVER LOVE AND FORGIVENESS. DESERVED.

- CAN WILLY FUCKING PROJECT DAMAGE TO HIM TO OTHER PEOPLE??? THATS FUUUUUCKED MAN

- NO. NO. WILLY DID NOT...... WILLY IS TAYLORS STEPDAD NOW. WTF.

- WILLY IS A STEPDAD NOW. I AM GOING TO THROW UP.

- NOOOOOO I HATE THIS SO BAD THIS IS THE WORSTTTT I HATE WILLY STAMPLER

- im still biting my nails im SO SCARED

- SCARY TRYING TO SCARE WILLY RON STYLE YESSSS

- *HERMIE*S GONNA TRY TO GRAPPLE WILLY????

- NICKY COMPLETELY FUCKING UP THE PLAN LMAOOO

- 10 MINUTES LEFT.... HOW ARE THEY GONNA PULL THROUGH

- 11:11 the teens are gonna pull through!!

- SCARYS IN THE CHAIR OH GOD OH GOD

- THE DOODLER IS FREE. ITS THERE. OH MY LORDY LORD

- THIS IS GONNA BE THE MOST IMPORTANT DICE ROLL OF THE WHOLE SEASON. FUUUUCK

- i have it paused. i swear. to FUCKING god. if its a 1.

- THE DOODLERS GONNA SPEAK OH MY LORD

- YESSSSSSSSS LOVE WINS!!!!!!!

[moltage]

u ever think about how the red cell team would handle beth's death like. sure they were a team before beth joined the picture and could possibly continue working without her but would it ever be the same? im talking about coping with that guilt. because ultimately, they failed. right? it's their fault they couldn't save beth. wrong time, wrong place, and just like that beth's gone. prophet was right there next to her when she had been captured, mick and gina stormed in the wrong house and Cooper. Well Cooper- He just could not save her. I think about those final seconds a lot. How Beth was so sure Cooper wouldn't kill the man for her. And she was right, Cooper being Cooper, he didn't kill the man. I think he could talk the man out of it if there had been time but, yeah. After a series of unfortunate events Beth Griffith is no longer with us! (if anyone has a different theory about the cliffhanger I'd love to hear it out but this is just how it seems to me. She's gone guys I'm sorry) And I don't think any of the team members would ever be able to forgive themselves honestly

I wish there was a season 2 to prove me wrong. To tell me that the red cell team is doing just fine.

[lambentgrey]

👯‍♀️🔬✍️? :chinhands:

send me some q's abt tlt!

thank u pal!! <3

👯 which twin is worse and why?

look i'm Aware of the almost-naming lore (and like. i'm assuming the names that end with "-beth" went to the same character, but that's a big assumption to make lmao) but from what we've read so far, i feel like ianthe is worse because she's both calculating and able to carry out whatever plans she has. idk if we can say that for certain abt corona (yet--i'm fully prepared to reevaluate how i see corona based on whatever happens in atn). ianthe was doing necromancy for two for 20+ years, is powerful even as what harrow perceives to be a dilettante, and makes decisions that get her closer to power (see: saving jod instead of her mentor at the end of htn). i think she has her own agenda but is willing to go along with jod's so long as it serves her purpose too

🔬 who is your fav lyctor and why?

MERCYMORN MY BELOVED. i want augustine carnally :/ (i think bc i've assigned him like. a polished, older version of james-marsters-as-spike but with leyendecker aesthetics in my head) but mercy <333 i love immortal characters whose immortality makes them terminally fucking weird and she fits that so well. i love that she was one of the few people in htn openly opposing jod, even on seemingly small things, and that she gets so close to pulling off a decades-long plot only to fuck it up because she became too overwhelmed, and that she STILL loves cristabel so much that she forgives john for EVERYTHING because he claims he honestly meant cristabel no harm! also learning about what she was like pre-resurrection versus what she Became was narratively satisfying (put that woman in moral quandries!)

✍️ of the supporting characters, who's pov would you be most interested in reading?

i gave one answer to this question here but! i'd Love to read hot sauce's perspective tbh, particularly her backstory. she's a victim of the empire in a very literal sense that we haven't seen directly; like nona, she has a completely different understanding of the nine houses and necromancy than what we've been privy to so far

[lonesomedotmp3]

top five morgana apologism moments… alternatively top five merlin anti hero moments

they are both my favourite little war criminals so i'll do both <3

can i just say the entirety of the tears of uther pendragon... she was literally right to do all of that and she looked good doing it... SPECIFICALLY the scene where she just hugged uther and we see the first evil little smirk... slay babygirl!!!

ACTUALLY in part two when she had that whole conversation with merlin and she was like there is no other way... this was always going to happen! she's the dragon! she's the bad guy in this play!!! she's got the script and the casting fits so she'll play her part... ok i'll stop quoting random shit now but literally conversations of all time she should've put that man's head on a spike and burned that whole place to the ground

when she tried to stab uther with the knife arthur gave her. um imagine finding out uther doesn't even have the common morality the basic traditional etiquette he pretends to maintain even as he apathetically genocides a group of people even as he made YOU hate yourself. actually he never respected your father as he told (LIED) to you he never ever will respect you as anything other than a bastard and a mistake. yeah you'd fucking kill him. of course you would.

idk exactly what we're counting as an apologism moment but something that makes ME forgive everything she has ever done ever is when she grabs merlin's wrist frantic and terrified and so so tired and he just. silently brushes her off and walks away. i mean fucking top merlin anti hero moment as well. unbearably fucked up. what's something else violent she could do. she should've gouged his eyes out and left him in the wilderness to starve. yeah

one of the only two good things in the lancelot du lac episode when she revives him but he's only a shade of his former self completely reliant on another and while he'll maintain relationships with the others they don't mean anything because they don't love him they love who he used to be. and he lives only to ruin his reputation forever when he would've been better off to everyone dead and gone. functionally dead, living past his myth, came back wrong, etc. he's only a weapon. and she just looks at him for a long long time knowing exactly what he is and what will happen. yeah 😐

oh this getting so long merlin anti-hero lightning round

getting rid of arthur's free will - i STILL cannot believe he did that

killing the magical being that told him how to save gwen in s5 for like no reason

him being just soooo mean to my buddy mordred :( the shrug. the shrug!! i literally have that gif saved on my phone just to look at sometimes. he's like if a dark gaping void were a boy who was a girl who was more like wet cement. you understand

POISONING MORGANA. WHATEVER I DON'T EVEN CARE 😐😐😐

killing agravaine and all his men and then turning around and constructing the sword in the stone myth for arthur in the same episode. because kings were not meant to drag their hems in this sort of filth. killing myself. ruining the whole story and taking control of the narrative for the worse because you loved not wisely but too well. KILLING MYSELF. that was such a fun agonised jaunt through memory lane thank u beth :)

[asillydreamer-on-a-crazyworld]

if the stills are because of a jealousy issue i definitely hope it's beth who has done something majorly stupid out of jealousy for rio to react like that, because him shoving a gun under her chin because HE'S jealous? fuck nah, that's like super abusive. even if they were in a relationship (which they're not), that's grounds for a restraining order.

hmmmmm…. Valid point u have here, dear anon! I can see that happening as well. Frankly, I think things are happening so fast and the stakes are getting higher so neither of them is actually in control of their feelings here. It could be Beth doing something and that was the other way I think u could read the situation:

She did something, and the reason she did it was bc she was jealous… But what Rio could have done to make her jealous, that made Beth do something to make him that angry with her? What Beth could possible have done out of jealousy that caused Rio to act that way towards her?

It’d also be interesting to see a jealous Beth coz, in my opinion, she doesn’t let us see what she is rly feeling towards Rio, most of the time. She always keeps some kind of mask on her face and it’s not easy to see what she is thinking or feeling when he is around ( but maybe that is just me). Rio has always shown how he felt about her, his attraction to her.

Now, IF jealousy is involved here, I wouldn’t be so hard on judging his reaction if he is the one jealous.

Coz jealousy is a tricky thing indeed. And it makes ppl do some questionable things. Also, let’s not forget who Rio is. He pointed a gun at her other times too in the past, and they hadn’t crossed the line between them that kept these two separated back then. Why he wouldn’t do the same now? Coz they had sex? 

if so, we need to acknowledge that in all those times he pointed a gun at her, he was being abusive too and, in my opinion,  he actually was! He was coz he had and he still has most of the power in this complicated relationship they are in. We need to see things as they rly are here. It’s his way of establishing his position as the boss here,  to remind her who gives the cards ( that scene of him breaking those vettes.. HOLY HELL!)

And when u are in any kind of relationship where the other has most of the power and u have close to none, in my head, that is the definition of an abusive relationship too coz u don’t make the calls. It doesn’t even have to be a violent one, but there are different kinds of violence, right?

Here, we have Rio giving the cards still. And even if the power imbalance is shifting, Beth’s power is little compared to his in this relationship, in some ways.

Now, look, I understand why Rio is the one with the power here coz he is the king. HE is the boss. There are more layers to his relationship with Beth aside from the professional one. His personal relationship with her is complicated too, bc I think he wasn’t supposed to have one with her but here we are now. And I don’t think he wants to act like an abusive bastard or that it’s his intention to do so, but he is playing a part here: the part of a gang boss who needs to be a cold ass bastard if he needs to be, unforgiving and hard on his ppl, so they won’t make a mess that could ruin everything he worked so hard to build.

I just hope they find some common ground and talk more with each other so they can understand where the other is coming from. They still don’t know much about each other. HELL, we still don’t know shit about what is really relevant on Rio’s side.

For now, we just have these small glimpses of him, but I don’t think he is a cold, heartless bastard who enjoys inflicting pain on others just bc he can (he respected Beth’s wishes when she told him “don’t” about their night together). but I also believe he feels things deeply and is, in fact, an emotional guy, different from Beth who learned to control and hide her own feelings behind her lies.

That being said, I’m ok with both outcomes, coz things are way more complicated than we thought originally ( or so that is how I view things). They complicated everything when they crossed a line they shouldn’t have crossed and now they have to deal with it.

[dvnities]

WHO ARE YOU?

name:      leah ! star sign:    scorpio sun, cancer moon, and taurus rising 😎 height:     5′4″ middle name:    beth ( fun story : hated my middle name from birth up until i watched the w.alking dead when i was in ~ early middle school and liked the chara ) put your spotify on shuffle. first 6 songs? :    lady bird / peter mcpoland, a sad song about a girl i no longer know / bedside kites, give & take / john marc, all my heroes / bleachers, carry me home / sød ven, you were / field guide ever had a poem / song written about you? :    sorta ? when i was in hs this guy wrote like a story/fanfic about me and him when was the last time you played air guitar? :    probably like last night when i was head banging in my car celebrity crush:    tom holland loml a sound you hate and a sound you love? :    my morning alarm ): / the lil scuff scuff of a dog’s nails as they bounce over to u do you believe in ghosts? :    ehhhhhh so so ? i think it’s POSSIBLE and i think paranormal stuff is fun but idk that i totally buy into it  how about aliens? :     yes ! i don’t think there’s any way earth is the only home to highly developed intelligent lifeforms do you drive? :    yes hehe i love it if so,   have you ever crashed? :   i haven’t ! i’ve had a few close calls tho what was the last book you read? :    devotion by mary oliver ! do you like the smell of gasoline? :    i do ! what was the last movie you saw? :   jackass forever LMAOAOAOAO  what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? :   hmmmm i hurt myself a lot but i think it’s gotta be the time i broke my ankle and then walked on it for hours  do you have any obsessions right now? :    i have watched atla in full like three times in the past couple weeks soooooo 😗😗😗 do you tend to hold grudges? :    i don’t think so ! i tend to be a very ‘forgive and move forward’ kinda gal, i don’t think we’re alive long enough to hold onto anger in a relationship? :    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH no

tagged by   :   @vicioushope, @appleyed​, & @pistolslinger​ TY ALL SM !! tagging   :     most of my mutuals have done this already i think so if u see it and haven’t do it and say i tagged you >:)

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[red-trash-panda]

15 song lyric prompts

1. “She gets the flower.”

2. “Was I just too hard to handle?”

3. "I always thought that you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery."

4. “You told me people could only fall in love once?”

5. “On the days that I really wanna forgive you, I think about the other girls you’ve been touching.”

6. “If you want love, you’re going to have to give some away.”

7. “You deserve more than I can promise.”

8. “You never loved me like I loved you.”

9. “How did I forget thick thighs are meant to be climbed.”

10. “He left scars, I’m here to heal for you.”

11. “Let me begin to show you how I love you.”

12. “What you mean to me will never die.”

13. “Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.”

14. “If I could reach the stars, I’d give them all to you.”

15. “I remember the freckles on your back and the way I used to make you laugh.”

The songs used -

1. She gets the flowers - Beth Crowley

2. She gets the flowers - Beth Crowley

3. Jealous - Labrinth

4. Cheating on U - Lacy Cavalier

5. Cheating on U - Lacy Cavalier

6. If you want love - NF

7. Honest - Shawn Mendes

8. Like I loved you - Brett Young

9. Thick thighs - Emilia Ali

10. Let me in - Skinny Living

11. Let me in - Skinny Living

12. Let me in - Skinny Living

13. Turn back time - Cher

14. Want you Back - 5 Seconds of Summer

15. Want you back - 5 Seconds of Summer

[reachfolk]

I know you probably have a million of these so forgive me for adding to your list but I couldn't resist. 😅😅😅

Obviously, you know about my last Dragonborn Azirina, whose love interest is Farkas. (If we're going by base game storyline. She does have another, but that's for another time.)

So, I would love to see what you come up with for Azirina and Farkas.

don't worry about it at all hun, they're fun to do but it takes a while cause i want them to be good. i have a bunch of requests but u get Friend Privileges so i'm doing yours first lol. the first few are her good end and the later ones are based off her bad end!

this turned out really long (cause i know more about azirina than i did about the other characters that were requested), so i'm putting it under a read more!

goodbye by jhariah | spotify.

"i never thought i would muster the courage to leave here. i broke free of what kept me trapped here and i don’t think i’m coming back here"

hadal ahbek by issam alnajjar | spotify. youtube. translation.

“life will give you time to forget the tears of these days that have made your eyes so tired”

i don't want to set the world on fire by the ink spots | spotify.

"i don't want to set the world on fire honey. i love you too much. i just want to start a great big flame down in your heart"

ready now by dodie | spotify.

"you saw through me. all this time i'd forgotten people are kind. i was hurting, and you knew, so you showed me what to do."

it's alright by mother mother | spotify.

"it's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay. you're not a demon, there's a reason you're behaving that way."

curses by the crane wives | spotify.

"won't you stay with me, my darling when this house don't feel like home? oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust. the devil's after both of us"

guillotine by jon bellion | spotify.

"the secrets you tell me i'll take to my grave. there's bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway"

without you by oh wonder | spotify.

"can't be on my own without you. i'm a little bit lost without you"

out of my head by loote | spotify.

"you get me out my head, i think i like it. [...] you save from myself"

problems by mother mother | spotify.

"i've found love in the strangest place; tied up and branded, locked in a cage"

needed a change of pace by jhariah | spotify.

"oh, how could you love me so? oh, with all i've done and the things you know? but still, you plead with me. baby, i guarantee you're better off if you let me go"

so nice, so smart by kimya dawson | spotify.

"you're so nice and you're so smart. you're such a good friend i have to break your heart. tell you that i love you then i'll tear your world apart. just pretend i didn't tear your world apart."

trust me not (hero and villain duet) by backseat vagabond | spotify.

"you think you're a villain, but i know you're not. under all that angst and anger is a beating human heart"

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski | spotify.

"so i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory. i'm not the girl i ought to be"

run from me by timber timber | spotify.

"run from me, darlin'. you better run for your life."

battle cry by beth crowley (this is more specific to azirina than the ship, but it's so fitting i had to include it) | spotify.

"and i know exactly what i'm for: to hurt and destroy and nothing more"

[dclarkadmin]

debbie eagan!!!! (sorry to anon)

Thank u for your service

Why I like them - Debbie Eagan feels EVERYTHING so deeply! The woman never met an emotion she didn’t like. Debbie falls into one of my favourite character types, which is “a perfectionist who knows absolutely everything she wants to achieve and somehow hates the result every time” (I have a whole list of these nerds). But she keeps going! She never stops! And she’s brilliant and hilarious and smart and talented and she’s also just a giant squiggly mess of a human. I also love the way she takes this ridiculous over the top job and character and still puts her whole self into it because if she’s going to do it, she’s going to be damn good at it.

Why I don’t - She feels. everything. so. deeply. It’s her best quality and it’s also her worst because Debbie has never once seen anything at face value in her life. Plus she’s extremely rash and sometimes does things like going into the wrestling ring while high on coke and I just think maybe that wasn’t her best idea.

Favourite episode - the fact that Betty Gilpin did not win an Emmy for Mother of All Matches is a travesty. ALSO the episode that we now know is the last ever, because we finally got to see Debbie take some control of who and what she wants to be. (RIP TV Executive Debbie you would’ve been my favourite thing in the world)

Favourite season - It has to be 3. Her journey in S3 from Valets to Tex to that last episode is just *chefs kiss*. Also the way she and Ruth stumble through existence together is such a delight in S3.

Favourite line - I cannot think of a thing that’s ever come out of her mouth that wasn’t golden and Betty’s delivery of so many of these lines is what truly makes them. In terms of actual dialogue, it’s probably the Eden line because it’s like !!!! she’s gonna build THEM an Eden!!! she’s not only forgiving Ruth, but she wants them to be partners, she wants an “us against the world” and she wants it more than anything. Obviously there’s also “I wish more men would go on vocal rest” (same) and her entire Debbie-as-Zoya improv.

Favourite outfit - everything Debbie Eagan wears is iconic. Her Springsteen jacket in S1 gets me but that’s for personal reasons (also Beth Morgan costume designer of my dreams). Her all-purple outfit when they went to the TV Convention was wonderful but also her blue-shirt/white-shorts combo when they went camping. Ultimately probably the camping outfit is the fave fave because she just looks so comfy and free. (Honourable mention her Jessica Rabbit looking dress at their little party in Vegas.)

OTP - Ruth. It has to be. Debbie Eagan is in love with Ruth Wilder and everybody knows it.

Brotp - Debbie and Tammé’s frendship is everything to me. But ALSO I don’t think it would count but her scene with Jenny when Jenny asks for a raise? When Jenny says she was nervous and Debbie says she couldn’t tell? I wish we’d seen more of the general relationship dynamics between all the women because ugh. (Also Debbie and Carmen in S1 is something that can be so personal. Likewise Debbie and Cherry in S3 when they were stoned)

Head Canon - I guess the Debbie/Ruth stuff has to go here but I firmly believe that Debbie has been in love with Ruth for a long time. She’s known it since well before Ruth and Mark (and I have a whole thing about how Mark is just a male version of Ruth but I could write essays about that so I’ll leave it at that but Mark is just male Ruth.) Debbie is just... like I said, I think Debbie has a perfect map of who and what she is supposed to be and being in love with Ruth simply does not fit into that plan. I think by the end of S3 she’s finally making peace with it and she’s ready to have Ruth back in her life even if just as a friend. I don’t think she’d ever really be in a place to tell Ruth unless something major happened, but I also think Ruth doesn’t even know she’s in love with Debbie and won’t ever piece it together unless Debbie forces her to see it. 

Also this is somewhat implied in canon but my belief is that Debbie grew up broke af and it plays a major part in her absolute determination to succeed (and is part of the reason she will put professional success/financial security first when needed.)

Unpopular opinion - I don’t know how unpopular this is because I don’t know enough Glow fans?? But I have two things that stick out. 1 - hate to disagree with Betty ever but I actually do think it would be important to any progression in Debbie’s relationship with Ruth for her to know about the abortion (or, not necessarily the abortion but the fact that the pregnancy was even a thing?). 2 - she didn’t break her ankle on purpose but it certainly was not an accident either.

A wish - I want Season 4 I’m still so mad I want it so much.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - honestly the worst case would be that she remarries some other awful man which is absolutely not what Debbie needs. I think maybe Tex showed her that but ugh who knows.

5 words to best describe them - ridiculous, hilarious, smart, cautious, sad (I hate putting sad in there but a deep sadness is at the core of Debbie’s character so)

My nickname for them - this question on all of these makes me wonder how many people give their favourite characters nicknames and I’m just trying to think of characters I have given nicknames to? Anyway nope none.

[redbelles]

Sadie Adler 🥺

first impression: she's so angry and so broken, god, fuck the o'driscolls and f u c k micah

impression now: everything hurts and i'm dying

favorite moment: i love every moment we get with her, but sadie dragging herself up the mountain as she bleeds out because like hell is she gonna die before micah does is so brutal and so deeply in-character that i want to cry

idea for a story: sadie adler and arthur morgan, alive and at peace

unpopular opinion: i will never forgive rockstar for giving us fuckin' guarma instead of a chapter five that was clearly going to be about sadie and arthur working their way towards something more than mutual admiration

favorite relationship: sadie/arthur, but sadie + john and sadie + abigail are a close second. she and john are the same kind of manic about getting vengeance for arthur, and i love how willing she is to step up and help out abigail in the final chapters of the main game

favorite headcanon: she reads penny dreadfuls every once in a while, and one day, long after the dust has settled, she stumbles across one that very nearly makes her cry. she pens a quick letter to the author when she finally regains her composure, because mary-beth deserves to know it was a good read

send me a character and i’ll tell you what i think of them!

[gertstarlight]

a kiss out of envy or jealousy 😳😳

i’ve gotten too many requests asking for a jealousy kiss so i stayed up til 4:30am to write this!! pls forgive the spelling/grammar cuz i am literally sleeping rn

send me more prompts!!

Loud bustling sound of classical music flowed through the tannenbaum wedding. The warm haze of the sunlight escaped behind the buildings in Blue Valley as the small string lights made their presence known. Sweet smell of foreign roses and tiny cakes breezed past Beth as she stood near the alter. She had always wanted the classic wedding but the heroism put a dent in those plans. The flowers patterned her flowy blue dress as she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Elizabeth Chapel, haven’t seen you in a couple years!”

Beth turns to see who it belongs to and immediately recognizes her childhood friend, Dean Harrison.

“Well yeah cuz you moved away to Germany after fifth grade,” her voice bold as ever, “how have you been, Dean?”

“Good actually yanno I’ve had time to adjust after what like 5 years but enough about me, are u doing good in Blue Valley and all?” He had the same chipper mannerism as her.

“Of course!! Blue Valley isn’t the same without you but the town has adapted to the absence of your beaming smile,” Beth held her wide smile and started catching up with her old friend.

Quiet footsteps reach where Beth stood and stopped behind her, giving her a soft nudge. She turned mid conversation to see Rick holding the drink she was waiting for. He put them down on the tall ledge beside the altar they were standing beside.

The tall blonde haired stranger spoke to Beth in a suspiciously friendly way. Well, everyone spoke to Beth in the kindest tone but this guy was ticking all the boxes on Rick’s Red Flag Checklist. He said sweet words to her and made her smile, maybe that’s why Rick disliked him.

The stranger responded to Beth’s optimistic remarks, “wow big words coming from the Blue Valley’s brightest smile champion.” Rick watched the two sync up in their amusement.

“There was a competition for the best smile?” Rick let his tone gain some edge as he questioned the other boy.

“Well yeah it was an inside joke Beth and I had when we were practically babies,” Dean said still laughing along with Beth.

That stupid laugh checked another one of Rick’s boxes and he felt the annoyance take over.

Regaining herself from the laughter, she spoke for the first time since Rick showed up, “ we were seven, Dean and it wasn’t even a real competition!”

“Ouch,” Dean says as he fake stabs his fist into his heart, “that really hurts, how could you hurt me like that?” Goddamn his laugh was starting to bug Rick.

“Woooow you were always the dramatic one,” said Beth as she joked around with the foreign friend she once knew.

“Yes that’s because you were always so realistic and needed some fun sarcasm,” he laughed and put a hand on Beth’s shoulder to balance the two of them as they continued to laugh.

Rick felt the heat burning up in his chest, just watching some other guy hold on to Beth the way he always wanted to. When she asked him to come to her aunt’s wedding, he let himself believe it would be the moment they fall for each other. Beth’s platonic wording didn’t stop him from deluding himself. He would go anywhere with Beth as long as he was with Beth.

The slow anger fizzled around in Rick’s mind as he sighed along to the stranger’s colourful words. Rick clearly did not come here for the food or the beautiful ceremony so when the one reason he was here for was flirting with some dude, he was sure as hell upset. Knowing Beth, this was just a casual conversation to her but to that nameless guy, she was probably the sweetest person to exist. Wasn’t she just the sweetest to everyone though?

She snapped him out of his lovelorn looks with a quick introduction. Although, Rick just wanted to act polite and hold a solid conversation, his rage got the best of him. He let a few sarcastic comments slip into the conversation and not-so-patiently waited for this Dan dude to walk away. Realizing how weirdly protective he got over his best friend, he calmed himself by taking a few sips from his drink.

Just couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances and wanting to speak in sweet melodies to the wonderful human sunshine. The love struck emotion is the least familiar to Rick Tyler but the sound of Beth’s voice made him want nothing more than to dance away the night. He shivered at simple thought of her ever returning those feelings that drive him wild. All he wants is to just steal her away from the lights of this romantic lighting and pull her into the steamiest kiss.

“Hey Rick, you ready to go?” Beth’s delicate voice makes him realize he zoned out again.

“Uh yeah sure, let’s get you home,” he muttered, letting his hand slip around her shoulders.

•~•

Needless to say, they do not end up home. They left the dancing strangers and fairy lights of the wedding behind. They walk lazily on to the Blue Valley bridge as Beth tells some silly anecdote with Rick’s suit hugging her shoulders. His hand still lay around her as they both stumble around the little sidewalk on the bridge overlooking the suburbs.

Beth switches the conversation to small talk, “the wedding was actually really sweet and the little flower centrepieces were matching the bride’s dress and it was all so detailed.”

“Uh yeah weddings are great,” Rick’s less than enthusiastic tone threw her off.

“Rick is something bothering you?”

“No I’m just tired from all that dancing.”

She throws him a classic pleading look, which is all it really takes for him to confess his inner monologue.

“Actuality Beth, I have to tell you something,“ he starts, hesitantly.

“You’re not the biggest fan of Dean, I get it he can be quite the optimist”

“Um no that’s not my problem with him”

“Then what it is ?”

Rick struggles to tell her the real reason he wants to practically never see Dean ever again. He settles for a generic answer to stop Beth from questioning him further.

“Forget it Beth, doesn’t matter anyways”

She takes stops walking and let’s him face her. The curiosity was gonna bug her until he was honest with her.

“Wait i don’t wanna forget it if it’s clearly bothering you,” her voice was serious and a little nervous.

“Just drop it Beth,” his voice was just serious.

“Yanno passive aggressiveness can’t be your solution to not talking about your feelings,” she said as she stood on the bridge facing the man she thought would be honest with her.

“It doesn’t matter,” Rick said dismissively.

“Rick, I don’t want you to have to keep ur feelings hidden deep inside. At least not around me,” Beth’s kind voice was the only sound he ever wanted to hear.

Rick just looks at her w lovelorn eyes but his lips slip out a different tone, “can we not talk about this anymore I’m sick of telling you how I feel all the time.” The harshness in his words never reflected how he felt about her. He never wanted to taint her perfect brightness with his dark inner horrors.

Eyes twitching and lips pursing, she said, “you know what Rick, I am SICK OF YOU SCREAMING ALL THE TIME!” Beth clearly got the memo and let her anger come out.

“WELL IM SICK OF U THINKING U CAN JUST GET IN MY WAY AND CALM ME DOWN,” Rick’s volume matched hers as he took a step forward.

“WELL IM SICK OF U GETTING SO CLOSE ONLY TO PUSH ME AWAY!” Another step closer than they had been before.

“YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IM SICK OF BETH?” his voice tunes down, mirroring the beat of his heart, “the way you don’t feel the same about me.”

That was it. Every single emotion Rick had ever felt about Beth was just out there, lingering in the air and hanging over his head.

She takes a minute to process the words he just breathed so close to her lips. Cursing their subconscious mirroring of small steps that brought them so close together, Beth looked at him. She couldn’t take the heat of the moment anymore. She needed to release the tension and his angry lips were just so close to hers.

Beth collides their lips together and feels the rage in his words slip away. All the feigned anger led up to what was the most comforting yet frenzied moment. Slowly tracing her hands along the back of his neck, she feels his hands find her hips.

She knew those heated exchange of words didn’t come from a place of anger. Beth just couldn’t sense where they were coming from but did that really matter when her lips left his just so they can both catch up with their heart. She let his forehead gently fall on to hers.

“Rick I didn’t...” slowly murmuring as she trails off with her forehead still on his.

“I hate the way Dave was looking at you and the way you laughed along to his dumb jokes,” he blurts out realizing it was his only chance to let her know.

Beth’s mind was just racing at the same pace as her heart, knowing only his lips could make her feel that way.

“And I know I have no right to tell you who to talk to cuz that’s a dick move,” he just continues to speak as he holds onto her waistline.

Beth sorta just chuckles to herself and moves her head away from his to look at him for the first time since their kiss. The confusion took over his face as she began to explain.

“I’m not laughing at you,” she composes herself and continues, “well maybe i am but more so at the fact that you’re jealous!”

Rick’s eyes bring out that signature saddening anger when he hears her voice speak the words he couldn’t. Reluctantly, he pulls away from her hold on his neck and tries to find the words to explain.

“I just don’t like Dan,” he stutters out an answer.

“I don’t care abt him, also his name his Dean,” she places her hands on his jawline with a reassuring touch.

“I kissed you, Rick,” she lets her eyes emphasize the statement and her head nods slightly as she spoke to let him know she really meant it.

The fall air breezes past them as Rick contemplates her words, he bites the edge of his lips and does what he knew should’ve done a while ago.

Rick closed the space between their lips but a lot more delicately than she had. His hands had already memorized the exact place on her hips she liked them to be after the first kiss.

The way Beth felt their bodies fall into the same rhythm amused her. Letting her hands find their way into his dark wavy hair, she’s make those small twist to keep her balance.

It didn’t take long for them to understand the wild bursts of energy they spewed at each other was just from holding in all the unrequited feelings. If it hadn’t been for her unlikely bravery, he would still be getting lost in her words instead of the sweetness of her lips. So maybe Rick is glad he agreed to Beth’s proposition to go to some cliche storybook wedding as friends. And so it goes, those two are no longer friends.