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I paint a little too...
#pokemon scarlet and violet#the indigo disc spoilers#pokemon oc#★stormy's ocs★#kieran pokemon#carmine pokemon#Started this shortly after I finished the game only just recently finished it#The dlc was a lot of fun and Kieran and Carmine are some of my favorite characters now#I may try to get some better pictures of this someday but for now here's one I took on my phone#pokemon kieran#pokemon carmine
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Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"
I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).
But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?
Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."
What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.
Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.
My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.
(grandma's the one on the right)
Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:
(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")
But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.
For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).
I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.
"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.
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I redrew some of my old Undertale sancest Ship Children from sometime between 2018-2021
(Click Image for better quality)
!! IGNORE THE FACT THAT IT SAYS SUGAR I MEANT TO PUT CANDY !!
If you don't ship these, that's cool neither do I. If you do ship these, that's also cool, here's some kids to add to your day. When I made these a while back I basically just put a bunch of Sanses' names into a cup and pulled out two names, just to make ship kids for. However I really love them so much I wanted to give them another try at being my OC's. So here they are with much better designs and decent personalities. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
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Old designs and Extra fun facts/info about them located below!
Old Designs (in order from right to left in the above picture):
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They don't have much backstory or reason as to why they are alive, so if you'd like just make up how they were born. Sexualities can also be up to your interpretation, cuz I feel too lazy to give them any.
Anyways onto some fun facts (not at all sorted by the way).
Tricks has two separate ways to write his name because his name was never ever officially written down by his parents, so he fluctuates between both
Despite Fresh's dislike for curse words Ivy has the vocabulary of a sailor. He takes pride in his salty mouth
Vero is sometimes nicknamed Vamp/Vampire, not only because of his snaggle tooth but also because he dresses in dark, fancy clothing
Fable looks up to Dream and wishes to be like him someday
Contrary to Fable, Trix absolutely despises Dream for never being around when she was younger. However Trix loves his little sister and would never put her admiration against her.
Despite not at all being blood related the entire group considers each other cousins (minus the ones who are ACTUALLY "blood" related)
Ivy has a horrid fashion sense. While he doesn't understand how to make things match he does know he loves layering his clothing
Vero refers to the markings on his face as " Face Bananas"
Vero is selective mute
Tricks, despite being a skeleton, enjoys makeup and would practice either on Vero, or Fable (Ivy's always too shy to ask)
Fable likes to play pretend and play with dolls (like any kid should)
Vero enjoys crocheting
Error has a slight hatred for Ivy (Ivy and Vero don't care so much)
The majority of Ivy's closet is all clothes that he stole from his parents. It's often way too big for him to wear but that never stops him.
Trix's favorite colors are Pink and Yellow (if that wasn't obvious enough)
Ivy is a huge trouble maker and loves dragging Vero along with the trouble
Trix wears acrylic fake nails
If they were asked to choose a favorite parent the list would be: Vero-Error since he is kindest to him, and spoils him a little | Ivy-Killer since he lets him get away with most trouble making | Tricks- Lust because at least he acknowledged his existence | Fable-Dream since he was the coolest hero ever
Trix dislikes curse words, so she tries to keep Ivy's mouth clean as much as possible (especially around Fable)
Vero and Ivy adore Fable, so much so that they'd bend at her will if need be. They'd do so much for her.
And I guess that's it for now. If you have any questions about them, shoot me an ask or DM, I may or may not have an answer.
#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#undertale oc#undertale sans#alternate universe#undertale#sans au#sans art#sans#sans the skeleton#sancest#killer sans#error sans#dream sans#lust sans#candy sans#ship child#ship children#fan oc#fanart#fandom#illustration#killer x error#killer x fresh#dream x lust#dream x candy
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Turn Week 2024– Day 4: Set It To Music
Get ready, this is gonna be a really long post methinks!! 🤠 Also I just rewatched the last two episodes of Turn and am still in emotional shambles from that, so please bear with me.
AS SAID: I warn you that this is a very long post with lots of links, and also that this turned out way less hinged than I mean it to jfc (then again being unhinged was my whole goal on here so) 😀
Since I am such a degenerate for setting the things I love to songs, I believe that I shall break this up into odd little sections:
Songs for certain scenes:
The Night Boat
Though this may not be incredibly specific, every time I hear this song, I can picture so clearly every scene by the dark, blue waters of frog’s cove, and can see Caleb approaching in his literal, well, night boat ;) Also if you know me well enough you may already know I have a weird thing when it comes to Turn & Duran Duran— their music is excellent for creativity for me (and also, as much as I love the original version of Night Boat above all, here I use the Danse Macabre version as it’s simply spookier, and better for this vibe ;))
Fuel to Fire
Alright, a little bit of canon, and a little bit of AUs all in one. Though there is already a song playing in this overall scene, some individual moments from it, and just Abe & Townsend’s energy around each other this season in general just screams this song to me. If you recall season one of Turn, you may remember a montage of Simcoe terrorizing Setauket in Against Thy Neighbor while a rendition of a song called Katie Cruel played in the background, sung by none other than Agnes Obel, so she already has Turn vibes considering her music has literally been featured in the show! And even if she hadn’t, the lyrics and the energy of this is so unshakable to me, I cannot imagine ever listening to this song and not thinking about Abe & Robert or at least Turn in general, and not to mention, as some of you may be familiar with, a literary masterpiece by a similar title (Like Fuel to the Fire, I beg of you go read it).
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Ok I know this is even less historic-feeling than the ones included so far, but here me out. I can’t exclude this one because of how much the end of the Nightmare intro, when Abe goes “it’s rainin’” makes me think of this song every time. This scene and this song alike both contain the rain symbolism, they’re both about mourning a father, and ALSO Jamie Bell literally stars in the music video of this song which I find very ironic!! So no, I could not exclude this one. 💕
Songs for specific characters:
Right Where You Left Me
Annlet shippers, I am not trying to hurt y’all, and I know everyone uses Taylor Swift for everything but uh. As arbitrary as most of these lyrics are, for some reason I can picture either of them just sitting in Rivington’s, frozen and thinking about one another and what they’ve done, to this song. And it is depressing but kind of intriguing. So if I hAVE TO THINK THAT SO DO YOU.
Touchy Feely Fool
Wow so much Abraham. Call me what you will but the FIRST time I heard this song I thought about Abe. I cannot help it. It’s hard to explain it, but this just. Reminds me of him so much. Especially when you think about his relationship with Richard, juxtaposed with “maybe someday when I’m older, I’ll be better off like you, I’m better off a stick, I’m better off a stone, I’m better off a jerk, I’m better off alone…” etc. I know I am FUCKING INSANE BUT THE ABE ENERGY IS UNSHAKABLE TO ME. HAHSHAHS. Anyways, attached is an extremely shitty old edit I tried to do for him with it, once again feat. copious Townhull vibes. As you can see it did not go well, and many things went wrong, but now’s as good a time as any for me to post it. As another wise Turn fan once put it: I may be fucking crazy, but I am free.
Songs for AU shit:
Familiar
More Agnes Obel for you! I know this is really unoriginal, I’ve seen a few people relate this song to Townhull in the past I think, but like. I just love it so much, and I can see the vision lmao.
Love Like Ghosts
Keeping with the weird-ass ghost motif, we end, for now, with another song that has the right vibes for a Townhull AU of mine, specifically when it comes to the events of Mended, I think; time for some good old Lord Huron. I hesitated to put this on a playlist for them at first because I really wasn’t sure if it actually fit, but for vibes alone, and this particular scene in such a plot… yeah. ;) If nothing else, the “spirits” that follow Abe could be that of his brother’s memory, and plus, the title and chorus— “love is like ghosts”— is simply hauntingly poetic to me ;)
Was really hoping to get this post up before midnight, but alas, here we are. Anyways, happy late 4th of July to all those celebrating, and even if you are not celebrating, I still hope you have a wonderful evening!! ❤️🤍💙
#I spent WAY too long on this#turn week#turn week 2024#Jesus fucking Christ how am I both embarrassed and proud all at once???#turn amc#amc turn#turn washington's spies#turnamc#amcturn#turn washingtons spies#turn: washington's spies#turn: washingtons spies#townhull#turn fic#thank you so much if you actually read through this freakishly long post!! 💕
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I said I'd post my Ranchers playlist at some point, so here we go! (I may end up adding songs as time goes by, but I'm happy with it right now so!)
Cover art by the lovely @lunarcrown!
I'm including a tracklist below the cut with lyrics I feel fit the boys! <3 (Some of them may be a little angsty, I'm sorry </3)
Trevor - Jordy
I need somebody to want me To love me, to need me like that Somebody to hold me To touch me, to see me like that Somebody to want me (want me) To love me (love me), to need me (need me) like that (like that) Somebody to hold me (hold me) To touch me (touch me), to see me (oh) like that
Trevor You're everything I want but better You're making me feel like I don't know me I wish that somebody would love me, like that
Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons
But it was not your fault but mine And it was your heart on the line I really fucked it up this time Didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?
CHRONICALLY CAUTIOUS - Braden Bales
So if I'm honest I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this Overloaded serial stressor, I'm sitting nauseous Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious How can I get off this?
Ghost - Halsey
You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway
Love Is A Weapon - Letdown.
But we've got love drunk Someone's going crazy Doesn't happen, baby Let me out my mind Can't have another moment In another moment Running in a whirlwind Take me back You know my love's a weapon
My Oh My - Camilla Cabello ft. DaBaby
A little bit older A black leather jacket A bad reputation Insatiable habits He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe Yeah, I said, "If you kiss me I might let it happen"
Why Do I - Set It Off, Hatsune Miku
So why do I still wake up, two in the morning Cold sweat, screamin' your name? Why do I get drunk and look at your pictures? Why do I feel this way? Why do I do this to myself? And why do I even try? You don't, you don't So baby, why do I?
Need You Now (How Many Times) - Plumb
How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"? How many times have you given me strength to Just keep breathing? Oh I need you God, I need you now
Curses - The Crane Wives
There's still cobwebs in the corners And the backyard's full of bones Won't you stay with me, my darling When this house don't feel like home? When this house don't feel like home
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust The devil's after both of us Ooh, lay my curses out to rest Make a mercy out of me
better off without me - Matt Hansen
I guess love isn't what I thought We were blinded by the hope we got We were slow dancing in the dark Do you remember, remember?
Fell so deep, we couldn't see Maybe we were never meant to be One day I'll just be a memory, and you'll be better Better off without me
Canary in a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives
But I still hold out hope that maybe someday I'll be worth more than all the silence left in my way And when you break the surface oh without me Please don't return me to the dark of all the memories, yeah
Sick of Losing Soulmates - dodie
We will grow old as friends I've promised that before, so what's one more in our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end? Time and hearts will wear us thin So which path will you take, 'cause we both know a break does exactly what it says on the tin
What the hell would I be without you? (What the hell would I be?) Brave face, talk so lightly, hide the truth (Hide the truth)
'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win? Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates Won't be alone again I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?
Lover Boy - The Front Bottoms
Oh You got me acting like a tough guy Trying to be cool You got me acting like a tough guy And now I'm missing you Oh
And now I'm acting like a lover boy Trying to be smooth, smooth, smooth
Now I'm missing you
Nine in the Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco
When it's nine in the afternoon Your eyes are the size of the moon You're good 'cause you can, so you do We're feeling so good
Back to the street, down to our feet Losing the feeling of feeling unique Do you know what I mean? Back to the place where we used to say "Man, it feels good to feel this way"
under the weather - CORPSE
Would it kill you just to smile? At least once in a while? Leave your fuckin' town Live just in the now
Baby, I got a fever I'm not feeling too well I'm so under the weather I'm so under your spell
The Love We Stole - Bear's Den
I was bawling In some things you just can't help from falling And all of your wisdom only makes me feel like I I don't deserve the freedom To love with my own heart To care for another more than myself To love with my own heart To care for another more than myself
I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers - Fall Out Boy
Do you remember the way I held your hand Under the lamp post and ran home this way? So many times I can close my eyes
The truth hurts worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you The truth hurts worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you
Circles - Post Malone
Maybe you don't understand what I'm going through It's only me What you got to lose? Make up your mind, tell me What are you gonna do? It's only me Let it go
Seasons change and our love went cold Feed the flame 'cause we can't let it go Run away, but we're running in circles Run away, run away
If I Killed Someone For You - Alec Benjamin
Would you love me more (Would you love me more) If I killed someone for you? Would you hold my hand? (Would you hold my hand?) They're the same ones that I used When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in (Would you turn me in) When they say I'm on the loose? Would you hide me when (Would you hide me when) My face is on the news? 'Cause I killed someone for you
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Kurt Hugo Schneider
Love of mine Someday you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light Or tunnels, to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark
Ties - Hi I'm Case
We all start off as strangers And fate will steer the way you lean I threw my caution to the wind And risked all of the dangers And there’s no wonder what that means
I’ll see the forest through the trees If they’d bother to adjust Staring through the leaves Waiting for the perfect gust
To blow away what ties us here ‘cause i need more than these wings (more than these wings) And the breeze that carried us
Hey Sexy Lady - Shaggy ft. Brian & Tony Gold
Hey sexy lady, I like your flow Your body's bangin', out of control (uh) You put it on me (that's right) Ceiling to floor Only you can make me, scream and beg for more
Wild Heart - Daughtry
Take me back To those barefoot summer nights Take me back Running down those highway lights Remember when We said, "Don't let go 'til we die"
Take me back To that fire in your eyes 'Cause I know it ain't gone too far Take me back to you and to your wild heart, yeah To your wild heart, yeah
Telepathic - STARSET
Look inside my brain You'd know what I want before I tell you Give me the words to say to make it enough Don't want your star-crossed fate You are the sun, I am the full moon Don't leave me lost in vain I can be what you want
I don't wanna let you go But I can't stand to watch this I don't wanna let you know But you can read my mind
I feel it all the time Felt it all around you You had me under spell right from the start I don't have a telepathic heart Telepathic
Re:re - NateWantsToBattle
I waited for you I waited for you I had so many chances I could never go through I pause and look back And then I lose track I spent so much time That I'm never getting back
Now I Will never get the chance To tell you
Go To Bed Angry - Set It Off, KC
So don't you walk away from me Let's settle this Rather hear you scream Than whisper shit There's no in-between Cause if we sleep in our feelings We'll never start healing
Let's not go to bed angry Taking back everything I said Baby let's not do this Baby I don't wanna go to bed angry
Look Away - Eli Lieb, Steve Grand
I’ll be okay, are you okay? Thinkin’ about the way that we left this Will I grow to regret it Watching you fade I know it’s goodbye
But I can’t look away from you I can’t look away I’m trying to face the truth from the mess that we made So we say that we tried But I can’t look away from you I can’t look away
Omae Wa Mou - Caleb Hyles, Ironmouse
The one who started rap tap tapping I can feel it on my head right now I wonder, was it you? What did I ever do? I know I wanna open up my eyes But I'm afraid I'm feelin' all the warmth of the sunset Somehow it feels sad Why won't you wait for me? 'Cause I'll just call for you all over again
Tightrope - WALK THE MOON
In my bed, I'm rolling over I'm tangling up in chains on the swings on the set on the night that we met And now the beads of water, move up the glass You speak your mind, and you can not take it back Walk a tightrope, walk a little tightrope Walk a tightrope, walk a little tightrope
It's Alright - Mother Mother
It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay You're not a monster, just a human And you made a few mistakes It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay You're not gruesome, just human And you made a few mistakes It's alright, oh It's okay, oh
Snow - Ricky Montgomery
Here we are wasting our chances for the last time And when we go, I'll try not to be so slow Skeletons, skeletons, what do we have here Hiding from the mirror? Say it once, say it twice, try to be nice Well, let's not lose ourselves
Sinners - Lauren Aquilina
You showed me feelings I've never felt before We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door And how can you expect me not to eat When the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?
So lets be sinners to be saints And lets be winners by mistake The world may disapprove But my world is only you And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me
I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan
This could be the one last chance to make you understand And I just can't let you leave me once again, yeah
I'd do anything Just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh 'Cause somehow I can't put you in the past I'd do anything Just to fall asleep with you Will you remember me? 'Cause I know I won't forget you
Tangerine - Glass Animals
But I wish I could show you more of yourself I wish I could make you somebody else But I left it way too late Are you stuck in your own ways?
I'm beggin', hands, knees, please Tangerine, come on back to me Got what I need, tangerine Do this for me Hands, knees, please Tangerine, sugar, honey, sweet Got what I need, tangerine
idfc - blackbear
'Cause I have hella feelings for you I act like I don't fucking care Like they ain't even there 'Cause I have hella feelings for you I act like I don't fucking care 'Cause I'm so fucking scared
I'm only a fool for you And maybe you're too good for me I'm only a fool for you But I don't fucking care at all, oh, oh-oh
Tell me pretty lies Look me in the face Tell me that you love me Even if it's fake 'Cause I don't fucking care at all
Gorgeous - Taylor Swift
You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face 'Cause look at your face And I'm so furious At you for making me feel this way But, what can I say? You're gorgeous
You should take it as a compliment That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you) And you should think about the consequence Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room) If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her But if you're single that's honestly worse 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts (Honey, it hurts)
Stutter - Marianas Trench
And I'm begging you Bring me back to life I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight It's too late to go Already taken me forever just to try you know One for the money, two for the show Three to get ready, and four to go For the life of me I don't know why it took me so long to see
Rewrite The Stars - Zac Efron, Zendaya
You think it's easy You think I don't wanna run to you But there are mountains And there are doors that we can't walk through I know you're wondering why because we're able to be Just you and me within these walls But when we go outside, you're gonna wake up and see That it was hopeless after all
No one can rewrite the stars How can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart And I'm not the one you were meant to find It's not up to you It's not up to me When everyone tells us what we can be How can we rewrite the stars? Say that the world can be ours Tonight
Paper Rings - Taylor Swift
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want
I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me, baby boy
Hurricane - Fleurie
I can feel your heart hanging in the air I'm counting every step as you climb the stairs It's buried in your bones, I see it in your closed eyes Turning in, this is harder than we know We hold it in the most when we're wearing thin
Comin' like a hurricane, I take it in real slow The world is spinning like a weathervane Fragile and composed Though I am breaking down again I am aching now to let you in
For the Dancing and the Dreaming - Lizz Robinett
I'll swim and sail on savage seas With never a fear of drowning And gladly ride the waves of life If you would marry me No scorching sun nor freezing cold Will stop me (on my journey, sorry!) If you will promise me your heart
And love And love me for eternity My dearest one, my darling dear Your mighty words astound me But I've no need for mighty deeds When I feel your arms around me
Young Love - Eli Lieb
'Cause this love is getting dangerous I need some more tonight Your touch is contagious You know what I need tonight I can't run and I can't hide I'll be wasted by the light I'm undone but I'm alive Don't ever wanna see the morning light
I'll Fight - Daughtry
Where you wanna go I'd love to take you there Wish that I could make the road easy I wish that life was fair Don't wanna see you cry Even when it rains And I hope you don't forget this You were born for better things
Jolene but it's gay - Reinaeiry
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you, please just leave your man Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Please just leave him 'cause I know you can
Now you could have your choice of men But I could never love again 'Cause you're the only one for me, Jolene
I had to have this talk with you My happiness depends on you And whatever you decide to do, Jolene
Sweet Boi - Chevy
Tall and gentle Too hot to handle You're all that I want You're all that I want Don't you know, baby Sweet as nectar Honey suckle You make every thing so fun Oh, boy My sweet boy
Magnetised - Emma Blackery
But you took me by surprise Now look into my eyes And tell me we're not magnetised And even if it's not with me I hope that you find peace Because she can't make you that happy
Because you love me And you love her too What's a boy to do? Because you love me And you love her too What's a boy to do?
Oah - Alexander Rybak
Don't go away, you're what's left of me I once believed you would save my soul But if you saw me now crying secretly Would you hold my hand and never let it go?
Come With Me - Chxrlotte
Take my hand and we'll face the end of time Let's take a stand against fate's design I said, "I can't bear to see the end" And you said, "Close your eyes and count to ten"
I knew you'd follow me to hell and fight off angels, as well You beat your wings and cast a spell, I'll run away with you And I said, "Hallelujah, " running to you "They won't find us, you and I can watch the stars fall from the sky All clothed in white, my shard of light Let's go together, we'll be free The world ends eventually, so come with me"
And after six thousand years, if the world disappears I'd fight angels and demons to find you, my dear I hear heavenly sounds in my head when you're near I'm alright now you're here
Absolutely Smitten - dodie
That girl just there, yes, she's the one With Cupid's arrow in her bum Handsome stranger, you have made her happy The first in a long time Did you just whisper in her ear? Words she only dreamed to hear? Pretty lady, look at how he's smiling I think he likes you
Soulmate Song - Carson James Argenna
Just know it breaks my heart When soulmates die ten years apart And lonely love is left to sit and wait Soulmates come by surprise Bell curve it seems extremes arise And those who beat the odds will call it fate
Seasons just come then they go away Reasons to run building everyday And if it doesn't go our way, that's okay
Yellow - Coldplay
Look at the stars Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
I came along I wrote a song for you And all the things you do
And it was called Yellow
So then I took my turn Oh, what a thing to have done And it was all yellow
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so
Wildfire - Seafret
As feelings arrange deep down inside Try describing a love you can't design More and more, every inch of me is holding on This is it, all the flames are burning strong
We are bound to each other's hearts Caught, torn and pulled apart This love is like wildfire And to my word now I'll be true I can't stop this breaking loose This love, is like wildfire Like wildfire Like wildfire
Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do
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Violet_M00n is available
Violet_M00n: Heyyy sorry for the delay! Got caught up with work stuff...
Bookwyrm1982: literally no time has passed.
Violet_M00n: Right. Right. Habit, I guess.
Violet_M00n: Anyway, what else did you want to know about the future?
Bookwyrm1982: Well you said you had AI, right?
Violet_M00n: Well... Yes and no. We have programs people *call* "AI", but they're really just advanced machine learning. They can't actually think or anything, but they can put together a surprisingly human sounding sentence, and draw things that could at first be mistaken for art.
Violet_M00n: But of course it's awful. The results are full of factual errors or have way, way too many fingers, companies are trying to use it to replace creatives, and it burns a ton of energy doing essential nothing of value.
Violet_M00n: So could you go on ChatGPT and talk to a convincing facsimile of a human but underneath it's just a more advanced version of Dr. SBAITSO.
Bookwyrm1982: that's a shame. But then again at least you don't have to worry about them taking over the world, right?
Violet_M00n: Luna, at this point I'd welcome our robot overlords. Better than the fucks we have running things these days.
Bookwyrm1982: Are things that bad?
Violet_M00n: *sighs* no, I suppose not. I still have a job, a family, I can exist in public without fearing persecution, and I'm mostly free to do as I please.
Violet_M00n: But trust me when I say the people who very much want to take that away have much more power than feels comfortable.
Bookwyrm1982: that sounds scary though.
Violet_M00n: More enraging than scary, really. Just so many people who can't or don't want to see things from anyone's point of view from their own.
Violet_M00n: Well, that, and capitalism.
Bookwyrm1982: I thought capitalism was good though?
Violet_M00n: *sigh* we have so much to learn.
Violet_M00n: Honestly though, and you should be able to find these online if not in the library, but read some Marx.
Violet_M00n: It may not resonate a lot yet, but it will.
Bookwyrm1982: I always thought that Communism was a good idea in theory but it needed a global revolution to actually work.
Violet_M00n: You may be on to something there. And someday, hopefully in our lifetime, we may get there. But it's a long, long road. Especially here in America, where it's been used as a boogeyman for like 80 years now.
Violet_M00n: (55 for you)
Bookwyrm1982: Wow, that's.... I'm not sure I want to grow up now.
Violet_M00n: Well maybe your timeline will invent actual time travel and you can keep that wish. Luna knows I wish I could.
Bookwyrm1982: so
Bookwyrm1982: um
Bookwyrm1982: Can we talk about something more fun? Like, what's something good in your time?
Violet_M00n: Well Magic the Gathering is still pretty good.
Bookwyrm1982: We're still playing? I kinda lost interest and stopped following it a year or two ago.
Violet_M00n: Oh yeah, we're still playing, and the game is... Well, it's way different from your time but also at its heart the same.
Violet_M00n: Like it's still Magic but also there's D&D and cowboys and Gandalf, for some reason. It's cool but it's also kinda scary how much they're pumping out.
Bookwyrm1982: Oh that sounds cool! Is it just D&D and LOTR?
Violet_M00n: They've done a ton of crossovers, they call them "Universes Beyond". They've done, let's see...
Violet_M00n: Dr. Who, Warhammer, Assassin's Creed, Final Fantasy, they're doing Marvel soon, Transformers (those are Hasbro though so they were among the first), The Walking Dead, Fortnite, Stranger Things (you... Don't know about those yet, don't worry), um, lots more stuff too that I'm forgetting, but those are mostly in like five or ten card bundles.
Violet_M00n: Unlike LotR which was a full set, with boosters and everything. And the best selling set of Magic in all time, unless Bloomburrow has passed that already.
Bookwyrm1982: Really cool! You'll have to send me some pictures sometime!
Violet_M00n: I'll be sure to downscale them appropriately this time!
Bookwyrm1982: What else do we like? Is Star Trek still running?
Violet_M00n: It had a long break there where it seemed we weren't going to get any more Star Trek.
Violet_M00n: But then JJ Abrams (a director/producer of some renown) made a Star Trek movie that was meh, but good enough to get people interest in the franchise again.
Violet_M00n: Soon after that Paramount spun up Star Trek Discovery, which had a rocky start but Grew The Beard soon enough for them to greenlight Star Trek Picard. Then Lower Decks, Strange New Worlds, Academy, and probably one or two others I'm forgetting (not to forget Short Treks and Very Short Treks).
Violet_M00n: Prodigy! I forgot Prodigy!
Bookwyrm1982: The online service?
Violet_M00n: No, Star Trek Prodigy. It's a CG animated series for kids made by Nickelodeon.
Bookwyrm1982: You're making that up.
Violet_M00n: I swear, it's true. Lower Decks is animated too, but 2D, and it's for adults and probably the best thing Star Trek has ever created. It's hilarious!
Violet_M00n: SNW follows Captain Pike on the 1701
Bookwyrm1982: And Discovery?
Violet_M00n: Complicated! It starts out pre-TOS but... Spoilers! And Picard is... Also here!
Bookwyrm1982: Is that about young Picard or something?
Violet_M00n: Old Picard, but close.
Bookwyrm1982: Hey my mom... our mom... just told me to get off the computer so
Bookwyrm1982: ttys!
Violet_M00n: See you in literally no time at all!
Bookwyrm1982 is away
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Wanted Man ~ Chapter One
A/N: Before I stumbled into the Tolkien fandom, I wrote Marvel fanfic and while I wrote fanfic before I knew that was what it was called, this is the very first fic I'd written knowing it actually had a name/genre. This was the first of four fics in this series, and I did 3 spin off fics as well, which I may or may not post, depending on whether or not anyone has any interest in them.
Anyway, here it is... The first chapter of the first story... I hope you don't hate it. :)
Summary: A price on his head, Loki of Asgard finds himself stranded on Earth and in need of one woman's help in order to free himself from the bounty and try to reclaim what he sees as his rightful throne in Asgard.
McKenna Carlin just wanted to put a horrible day behind her. She had no idea that things would get worse before they get better…
Pairings: Loki Laufeyson x ofc McKenna Carlin
Characters: McKenna, Loki
Warnings: None
Rating: T
Word Count: 1.5k
Tag List:@fizzyxcustard @court-jobi @guardianofrivendell
If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!
Previous chapters can be found here!
Someday, I’ll learn never to ask what else could go wrong.
All McKenna Carlin wanted was to go home, stand under the hot shower, until she forgot all about the day from hell. Maybe then, she’d stop obsessing over why she asked questions she really didn’t want to know the answers to. Maybe.
She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. Some days were bad, this one put them all to shame. If it could go wrong, it did. After that hot shower, a glass of wine was a must.
Opening her eyes again, she tried to ignore the sense of weariness creeping into her as she peered around the small apartment that she had, until only that morning, shared with Joe. Now, the pale eggshell white walls were missing pictures she’d grown accustomed to looking at, and the closet to her left would no doubt have a lot more room in it now.
It was for the best. Things had gone sour months earlier, only neither one of them had the stones to admit it. True, there were better ways to find out he’d already moved on than by seeing a text never meant for her eyes, but at least now she knew.
He had Shelley and she had outlines on the walls where photographs used to hang.
With a heavy sigh, she pushed up from the door and bracing one foot against the back of the other, kicked off her left sneaker, and then her right. She thought the run might help. Might clear her head, but it didn’t. Her thoughts were just as heavy as they had been before her run. Only now she was hot and sweaty on top of it.
She padded down the short, narrow hallway to her room, where Cinder, her chubby gray and white cat, lay curled up in his usual ball, sound asleep. His eyes didn’t open, but his motor kicked over as she stretched to scratch him under the chin. Bit by bit, his neck stretched, and then his eyes opened, amber and sleepy. He yawned. He stretched.
He promptly went back to sleep.
Her bathroom adjoined her room, and as she crossed to it, she peeled off her sweaty running clothes. Lightweight jacket. Tank top. All-important sports bra.
She had to shimmy out of the Lycra pants. And did the usual one-footed hop across to the threshold of the bathroom before she wrestled herself free. Everything lay where it fell. She’d get it on her return trip.
The tub, like the rest of the building, was old. But like the rest of the building, it had a wonderful charm that managed to offset the hassle of sometimes not having enough hot water. It was clawfooted and beautiful, and sometimes after a long day, she loved to just sit in it with a glass of wine, a good book, and enough bubbles to make every drain in the building fizz.
But tonight was a shower night, so she turned on the spray full blast and hoped for the best. As the water warmed, she smiled. No one was using their dishwasher just now. Perfect.
The shower was just the right temperature to ease the ache in her leg muscles. She hadn’t run a lot, less than two miles, but in the heat of a late June night, two miles felt like ten and she scrubbed harder than usual to get rid of the sweaty film. She shampooed twice. Conditioned once. And cursed like a sailor when she reached out toward the toilet, only to find she hadn’t taken a towel from the neatly folded pile on the organizer.
The memory foam bathmat soaked up more water than it should’ve, and she winced at the squishiness as she stretched to grab the wayward towel. She was just wrapping it about herself when the entire building lurched and something boomed overhead.
“Thunderstorm,” she muttered, grabbing a second towel to wrap about her hair. That godawful pixie cut she’d impulsively gotten just before Christmas had finally—finally—grown out. It was to her shoulders now, and freshly highlighted to get rid of any telltale white hairs that liked to show up every now and then to remind her she wasn’t twenty-five any longer, and the towel grew damp as she wrapped it turban-style and pulled open the door.
There were no A/C vents in the bathroom, so the blast of cold air made her yelp. She shivered, almost dancing over to her dresser, where she pulled out a pair of cotton pj bottoms and a her favorite tee shirt from her pj drawer. She unwound her turban and squeezed as much water as she could from her hair, then tossed the towel in the laundry basket on her way out to the kitchen
“Weird. Thunder, but no lightning,” she muttered, the hardwood floor cool beneath her feet. She’d had the floors redone the previous summer and they’d been sanded and polished to a golden maple finish, probably more beautiful than they’d been when the building was first built.
The kitchen was halfway down the hallway, with another full bath on the left and a spare bedroom (if it could be called that. It was a bedroom only in the sense that a twin bed would fit, but would leave precious little room for any other furniture) that she’d turned into a reading room of sorts. She was halfway between bedroom and kitchen when the second crash shook the building hard enough that she lost her footing and banged up against the wall.
“What the—?” She righted herself as Cinder let out a howl and darted between her feet to disappear into the spare room. “Cinder, you—”
Whatever the cat was remained unspoken as the living room came into sight and any and all words up and died on McKenna’s lips. She still had no idea what shook the building so badly, but she was fairly sure that when she’d gone into the bathroom, a man was not lying on the area rug just inside the door, where she’d have to have stepped over him to come completely into her apartment.
She stared first at the man lying motionless on the cheerful multicolor rug she’d picked up at a craft fair years earlier. Was he wearing… leather? Black and green leather, no less. And from the looks of him, the leather made him sweat the exact same way running in this sticky summer weather made her sweat.
Cinder hopped up onto the halfway separating the kitchen from the dining area portion of the living room, puffed to twice his normal size. Considering he weighed in at nearly twenty pounds, it was an impressive sight, but one McKenna only barely glanced at as she swallowed hard at the sight of this stranger—in leather, no less—lying unconscious on her floor.
“How the hell…” The whisper died on her lips as she glanced about for something to use as a weapon. Weapon. What the hell did she have that was even remotely weapon-like? The closest thing she had was an aluminum baseball bat, and that was currently in the backseat of her car, three floors down. Fat lot of good that would do.
The man groaned and she took another, very quick, step back.
Cinder hissed, then growled low in the back of his throat.
McKenna looked from the cat to the man. From the man to the cat. Which one would move first?
The man moved.
“Where…” His voice was deep, but faint. He tried to sit up, but just as quickly sank back, both hands coming to rest on his chest. Another low groan rose, but he remained still.
McKenna cleared her throat. “Who are you and how the hell did you get in here?”
“Quiet.”
The brusqueness of his voice caught her off-guard and she stared at him, even though he stared straight up at the ceiling. “I beg your pardon?”
“You should. What realm is this?”
“Realm?” The cordless phone sat on the counter next to Cinder. Gingerly, she stepped toward it. “You’ve got about five minutes before I’ve got the town’s finest here to haul your ass out of my apartment, mister.”
“What realm is this?”
“What are you talking about?” If she stretched, she could just put her fingers on the phone. She leaned to her left.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
The phone slid further out of reach, bumping up against the puffy cat, who yowled and practically flew off the counter. “What the hell—?”
This time, when the man attempted to sit, he didn’t sink back. Instead, he glared at her through eyes of the coldest pale blue she’d ever seen. “I am Loki of Asgard and what realm is this?”
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One MidgeLenny x TSwift Fic Per Day
173. Red
Midge | Lenny
Lenny is never far from her mind.
Every aspect of their relationship was intense. The gazes between them, the laughter they shared, the phenomenal sex, the love...
But he can’t work in New York right now. Not while his lawyers work on the appeal.
So they broke up. Or, well...he left.
Men proposition Midge all the time. For dates and for...’fun’. Her career is on the rise, she’s more visible than ever, and that makes her even more enticing than before.
She always says no. Because even though Lenny is in California and their relationship is technically over, she doesn’t think it will ever really be over.
She calls him tonight. It’s a whim, and maybe an ill-advised one, but beyond their romantic relationship, he’s still always been her friend. With everything going on, she needs to make sure he’s okay.
“I haven’t scored,” he promises her out of the blue, and she feels herself relax. “I worked too hard to get clean, and as much as I fucking want to sometimes...I won’t.”
"Good,” she exhales shakily. She’s pulled the phone over to the window, and she sits on the fire escape, smoking a cigarette. It’s a beautiful night. Early autumn in New York, and the cold hasn’t started to set in yet. “How’s the appeal going?”
She pictures him shrugging. “I haven’t fired my lawyers yet.”
“Good. Because if you had, I’d have to come out there and smack you upside the head.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he bats back, and she laughs as she taps the ash from her cigarette.
“Hey, Lenny?” She asks quietly.
“Yeah?” he breathes, his voice equally soft.
“I know we broke up, but...” She takes a deep breath and then exhales a sigh. “I really fucking miss you.”
He sighs on the other end of the line as well. “I really fucking miss you, too,” he admits after a long moment.
“Are you...” Midge swallows thickly at the idea of asking this question.
It’s a beat too long, and Lenny asks, “Am I what?”
She worries her lower lip between her teeth as she musters up the courage. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“No,” he answers immediately. “I’m, uh...just doing the dad thing. Writing.”
“I read your last one,” she tells him. “It was great, Lenny.”
“Did the guy at the news stand have a conniption when you asked for Playboy?” Lenny teases.
“I may have blackmailed Joel into buying it for me.”
He barks a laugh at that. “And how did you do that?”
“Well...after you left...he may have come on to me,” she admits.
She knows exactly what Lenny’s expression is right now. He hates Joel. He’s hated Joel since before he ever met him. She knows his gaze is dark, his jaw set, and she imagines he’s rubbing his hand over his mouth. “Did you - ?”
“No,” she answers. “No, I - there hasn’t been anyone else,” she explains. “You see, I’m still pretty enamored with this guy who lives all the way across the country. And...I’m holding out hope that he’ll come back someday.”
“Midge...”
“I know,” she murmurs. “But...your lawyers are working on the appeal, and one day you’ll be able to work here again - ”
“There’s no guarantee - ”
“And I don’t want anyone else,” she finishes. “I just...don’t.”
On the other end, he takes a drag from his cigarette and exhales. “So what do you propose we do about this?” He asks.
“I mean...long-distance sucks, but...I’d rather do that with you than try to make something work with anyone else.”
He pauses briefly. “And if the appeal goes on for years?”
“Planes exist,” she replies. “And I think they go from New York to Los Angeles.”
“But do they go in the other direction?” He jokes.
“Theoretically. So...maybe we can visit each other every now and then. You can write in New York even if you can’t perform. I know Papa would be thrilled to see you again. I could come out, maybe play some clubs there? Finally meet your family...?”
Lenny pauses again, and she’s terrified he’s going to turn her down. Instead, he says, “Okay.”
She feels her heart skip a beat. “Okay?"
“Better than okay,” he amends. “I...I do want you to meet Kitty. I think she’ll like you more than she likes me.”
Midge laughs quietly. “Considering how much Esther loves you, it’s only fair.”
They stay on the phone a while longer, making plans for her to visit, and when she finishes her cigarette, she says goodnight.
“Night, Midge,” Lenny replies. “I...I love you.”
She grins even wider and replies, “I love you, too.”
#midgelenny#midge x lenny#midgexlenny#tmmm fanfic#marvelous mrs. maisel fanfic#otp: more important than god#jackal fics#mltswift
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Chapter 1 - A Fox In Hell
( Before anyone asks, yes, this is an edited picture of Yae Miko from Genshin Impact. I've had a Miko character for a long time, but I never got around to draw her - Not that I'm that great at drawing anyway - So when Yae came out, I instantly fell in love with her design and personality so much that I got her cosplay. We're alike in many ways, and I love it. )
Where am I...? Kitsune thought to herself, as she found her way in what looked like the inside of a grand Western castle. One second she was doing a ritual at her shrine, and now, here she was, facing some strangers dressed in similar suits. Something wasn't right. The air was feeling heavier than back home, and the atmosphere was tense. What in the world could be happening - No, better asked, how did she get in this place?
"Welcome to the Devildom, Kitsune!" a man with auburn hair and amber eyes, towering over her with his rather muscular body addressed her with a firm yet gentle and friendly tone. "Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?" he frowned slightly in understanding. Kitsune looked at him, her green eyes looking deep into his own, and she shuddered. For the first time in her long life, she was afraid. It wasn't the tremendous power that he radiated, but rather, the awfully abundant, dark, ice-cold, yet also fiery rage that was buried deep inside of his heart. By the way he was behaving so jovial, she could only imagine he was supposed to be a sweet man, kind to everyone, but Kitsune could sense emotions better than most. She remembered being called an Esper, at some point, but no - She was nothing more than a fox.
And, most of all - How does he know her name? Was she summoned here, by him? And of course... Why her, of all people? Well, perhaps 'people' isn't the right term to address herself, and them as well. She wasn't human, per se, and neither were they.
"...How do you expect me to answer?" the girl asked, her long, fluffy tails appearing and wrapping themselves protectively around her. "I believe the right term for this would go along the way of... Kidnapping? Maybe?" she continued, one eyebrow arched, questioning the man. "Ah, yes, forgive me - We have taken you by surprise, it's only understandable you would be confused." the man's eyes widened in realisation at his mistake. "You are not quite human, yet you have been living among them for a while, yes?" he asked, earning a short nod as an answer. "It may take a while for you to get used to the things around Devildom." Kitsune could only sneer at the man who was speaking so jovially, yet beating around the bush so serenely, as if he wasn't hearing a word she was saying. "Why am I here? You haven't answered my question. In fact - Where IS here, anyway? And what gives you the right to kidnap me from my home and act all innocent about it?" although her voice was harsh, the man wasn't taken aback, nor upset. He merely smiled brightly and began speaking again. "I apologise,I should have introduced myself first. My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me. And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom." the way he spoke, without a care in the world, as if nothing he said could be out of place, shocked the girl enough for her fox features to disappear entirely, and she straightened up, looking at him with a confused and distorted expression. "What the hell are you on about? If you brought me here, I'm sure you know that I'm a Shrine Maiden. I'm the Kitsune Guuji. I exorcise demons. Are you trying to take revenge on me for your kin or what?" she asked, blinking as if trying to wake up from an absurd dream. "Ahh, no, nothing of the sort - In fact, I believe I should clear out some misunderstandings. The 'demons' you exorcise aren't quite the same as us. In fact, what you do is pacify the remnant of a vengeful spirit that has possessed a living human, or that has taken the shape of one, more or less. It may seem like quite the culture shock, for someone who never met, nor has heard of our kind, or of Angels or the Grim Reaper, but you will get used to it soon enough, I'm sure." he held an encouraging smile on his face. "Yeah, I know what I was doing, you don't have to explain that to me. I've been doing it for centuries, no need to patronise me. Once again, you're still not telling me the reason for bringing me here." she pushed once again, making the man sweatdrop, his smile vanishing in disappointment.
"I'm not trying to patronise you, and if it appeared that way, I apologise. You are inside the Royal Academy of Diavolo... Though, we just call it RAD." he said, as the girl scoffed in mock amusement. "You're standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where we, officers of the student council, hold out meetings and conduct our business. I'm the president of the Student Council." his words were only giving Kitsune a headache - Despite the years of technology and development, she was still an ancient entity who performed rites and rituals and took care of the shrines that she visited all over the country. She was a divine being that was blessing people and aiding the spirits of the deceased find rest -- So she never attended any official education before. This was, by far, the worst horror scenario she could imagine. "... I never went to school, let alone an Academy. I doubt I'm even qualified to join your ranks... It seems to me that's why you have brought me here... For who knows what reason." she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "I will explain everything to you." a new deep, suave voice came from another place, revealing a brunet man with piercing eyes, dressed sharply in his military-looking school uniform. She could feel a profound sense of pride, mixed with guilt, sorrow and remorse. He looked to be a pitiful man on the inside, despite his confident and firm appearance. "Kitsune, this is Lucifer. He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride." Diavolo explains. "He is also the vice president of the Student Council and my Right-hand man... And not just in title, I assure you. Beyond that, he's also my most trusted friend!" the easy-going man laughed, earning a sad expression from the other one. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo." he muttered, before shifting his gaze at the fox girl, as his upset face changed to one of smugness and confidence. His title fits him. "Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours, I offer you a most heartfelt welcome, Kitsune." Lucifer smiled with a fake-welcoming smile. "Both of you, I would appreciate it if you would stop faking your personalities. I can sense what you're feeling - And you're not impressing me in the least. Besides - You still didn't really answer my question. For the last time - WHY am I here" the girl pointed out, slightly angry. "First of all, while you are spot on with my disposition, Diavolo is being genuine in greeting you with open arms. He believes that we, demons, should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step towards this goal, we've decided to institute an exchange program. We've sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm." he began explaining, as Kitsune hummed in understanding. "Still, I'm not a human. I'm not sure how great of a representative of human kind I can be, considering I'm more or less a trickster spirit." the girl seemed to relax visibly, looking more passive at the two speakers. "Yet you still inhabit the Human Realm, and have been doing so for centuries. You have experienced more than any human can hope to - In fact, our other human exchange student is a wizard that has reached immortality centuries ago." Diavolo explained, rather proud of himself. "Although I'm pretty sure bringing immortal beings into your programme outright beats the point of bringing the Three Realms together..." Kitsune fidgeted in her spot, looking around with slight worry in her eyes. "I shall only remain, should you allow me free reigns to leave whenever I wish to. The shrines all over the country depend on me. Festivals and rituals depend on me to perform for them. Not only that... I need sunlight to survive... To some extent." she explained, much more passively than before. "Yes, of course, that can be arranged. I'm glad you've warmed up to this idea so easily!" Diavolo smiled widely... Why did he seem so genuine, yet his heart was telling otherwise?
"Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you will receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom." Lucifer states, but the red haired kitsune remained quiet for a little while.
"I have never attended official educational programmes before. I have no idea what you're talking about. Not only that, I will need a guide... Or a tutor... Or any kind of aid, to be able to adjust to such a drastic environment change. The air around is heavy, even for someone like me, and I am not familiar with any kind of technology." Kitsune explained the obvious downsides of her being there. "It's not like I will abandon you all by yourself here in the Devildom. You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon. He's the Avatar of Greed and...How should I put it...? Oh well, you'll understand soon enough." he scoffed slightly, looking visibly upset. "I refuse." her reply was deadpan and strong. "You... Refuse?" Lucifer arched a questioning brow. "Diavolo is the one who brought me here. He should take accountability for his actions. He is the future King of this place, and the President of... Whatever. If there is no one else more qualified than him, then he should be the one to be my guide around this place. Accept it, and I stay. Refuse, and I leave. These are my conditions." for the first time since she's arrived, the corner of her mouth curled upwards, showing a mischievous, cunning vixen smirk. "Don't you think you're being rather rude and imposing, considering you are a guest here, in Lord Diavolo's own home, in which he so humbly welcomed you with all the kindness and understanding existent?" Lucifer seems to have been irked by her comment. "I didn't ASK to be here. You people kidnapped me. You are taking me away from my life. You could have just as easily picked another human in my stead - But you didn't. Besides, what are you, the Devil's Advocate - Quite literally speaking? I was speaking to Diavolo. I want to hear HIS answer, not yours." her poisonous tongue seemed to greatly anger the Avatar of Pride, whose authority felt trampled, yet Diavolo merely laughed heartily. "If that's what Kitsune wants, then I agree! I must confess to you, once Lucifer showed me he has chosen you as one of the students here, I was overcome with joy! Your resume seemed fantastic, and I was eager to learn more about you." the man smiled enthusiastically. "Then it's settled, little lordling. Is there anything of interest that I should know, before I embark on this rather... Peculiar journey in the Netherworld?" the fox girl looked seemingly bored, yet was feeling rather giddy with excitement. "Here, take this device. It's called a D.D.D. It's a lot like the cell phones of your world. This will be yours to use for as long as you're here. Now, go ahead and try calling Diavolo with it." he urges the girl to try it out, but she only stared at the small, rectangular, black object that lay in her hands. "... What's a cell phone...?" the trickster's question only made those present widen their eyes - They were aware of her not being in touch with technology, but to be so completely unaware of even a cell phone?
"Don't worry, Lucifer, I'll teach her how to use it." Diavolo smiled reassuringly at the girl. His smile was bright and beaming, and he radiated, what she remembers some of her younger maidens that have joined the shrine, 'Golden Retriever Energy'. "Do you have any question right now, Kitsune? If not, you can always ask me, or anyone from the student council, whenever you have any queries." the man explained, making the girl scan the room carefully. "Who are these people?" she pointed towards the other people dressed in similar clothing. "Ah, yes, of course, well spotted. This, right here, is Barbatos. He is my butler. And... We still need to introduce you to Lucifer's brothers. And...It's probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn't you say?" Diavolo smiled at Lucifer, who frowned, looking gloomy. "Yes... As much as I dread the idea of doing so, you're right." he grumbled, but before anyone else could say anything, the pitched voice of a man whined jokingly. "Oh, come on. Really? You should be honoured that you get to introduce such a sweet and charming little brother like me!" a man with a long, strawberry blond fringe and peach eyes called out. Looking at him, Kitsune could feel an almost-scary amount of narcissism and desire. This one tried so hard to be liked by everyone that it almost felt as if he had the lowest self-esteem of all. "This one here is Asmodeus. He's the 5th eldest. He is the Avatar of Lust." hearing that, the girl almost let out a huff of amusement, realising how spot-on she was. "Wh...! I can't believe you just totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as this one! How rude!" the man cried out with a frown. "Hmph. At least he didn't ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?" a man with untamed blond hair and piercing emerald eyes called out, upset. There was a tremendous amount of pure, raw hatred and anger bubbling inside of his soul, and if he were to let it out, the world might be wrecked - And even still, it didn't compare to how scary the Prince felt. "That one there is Satan, the 4th eldest. At first glance, he may seem like responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving." Lucifer warned, but the fox girl didn't know what to do with such an information. "Aha, so I'm that one, am I? Nice to meet you, Kitsune. I'm Satan, the Avatar of Wrath." Satan looked at her passively, but at least he noticed her presence, unlike the Lust Aspect. "It's nice to meet you as well, Satan." Kitsune bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement, watching the devious smile on his face. "Hey may flash you a pretty smile like that, but you had better be careful because it is all an act." Lucifer warned once again about his brother, who only smiled poison at the brunet man. "If you continue saying such nonsense, you'll just scare Kitsune." he shook his head in annoyance. "I've seen far worse than any of you, before." whether that was a truth or a lie, it held no meaning. "Don't take him too seriously, Kitsune. Lucifer enjoys speaking ill of his brothers. He is the Avatar of Pride, after all." he said that with a pretty smile on his face, and yet, a dark aura was evident around him, as the atmosphere thickened considerably.
"Are you done?" Lucifer sighed. "Now, the one there with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He's the 6th oldest." he explained, nodding towards his orange haired brother. This one, in anti-thesis with all his other brothers, looked about the most intimidating, yet his aura felt pure, innocent and absolutely inoffensive. This one had only good intentions, it seemed. "Lucifer, I'm hungry." he grumbled simply. "That's too bad. Now behave yourself." Lucifer glared at him. "I'm Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony." his stomach rumbled as he looked down in sorrow, introducing himself. "Wonderful meeting all of you." the girl nodded in response. "So... There are 7 of us brothers in all, and I'm the eldest. Mammon, the 2nd oldest of us, will be there soon. My other brothers aren't here at the moment, but... Well... We can get to them later. All in good time." he looked away with a shady look. "That's okay... I think that's enough social interaction for a while" the girl chuckled softly. "During your stay in the Devildom, the 7 brothers will lend you their strength. To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation." Diavolo explained, but my eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Keep me... Safe...?" Kitsune let out an amused exhale. "The day I need help from anyone, is the day that I leave this world." "You may say so, little fox, but it might just be so. Most agree with Diavolo, but that doesn't mean that there aren't vulgar demons out there who wouldn't harm you. If anything were to happen to you, it would be our responsibility. And I won't betray Diavolo's expectations. So, I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive your stay here in Devildom." hearing the Pride Avatar speak to her as if she was nothing more than a defenseless mortal, Kitsune's tails appeared once more, wagging erratically, as a great, light blue spirit fox fire ignited all around her. "The, I'm sure you wouldn't be opposed to me cremating those... Vulgar demons, as you call them, am I correct? Surely, it would be seen as a means for this human representative to defend herself by any means necessary. Would that be any problem with you, Lucifer? No paperwork involved if some puny, lesser wretchling goes missing after breaking the rules, but if, Heavens forbid, something happens to ME... Well, we wouldn't want to get THAT far, now, do we~?" she smirked, prowling in front of the man, provoking him with a flash of her pristine grin. "All the better, less work for me, although I'd prefer if things remained... Civil. For all of our sakes. Now comes the last part of this introduction - Although we will all be living together, you should still have the means to reach us at any given time. All our phone numbers are in your D.D.D. already. It also has a messaging app. Make sure to add all of us, as soon as Diavolo shows you how to use it." Lucifer explained the basics, as I took out the D.D.D. and fidgeted easily with it. "Isn't that great, Kitsune? You're gonna be friends with the future king of the Devildom!" Satan chimed sarcastically, but the red haired girl merely scoffed.
"... All my friends have already left the world of the living. All that I see from you is constant bickering. You call yourselves brothers, but can you imagine life without one another? If you cannot, then... Mayhaps you should start acting with more regards to each other. Maybe then, you will realise how precious life really is." maybe she was taking things too seriously, and she really needed a break - Regardless, her little speech created a deep silence all throughout the room... Until the door was slammed open and a loud, obnoxious man with white hair barged in - Just like Beelzebub, despite how brash he looked... He was, by far, the softest and most tender out of all of them. How peculiar. "Well, it seems the idiot has arrived as well." Lucifer looked at me with a dead inside expression. "Hey! You've got a lotta nerve summoning the GREAT Mammon!" he yapped like an annoyed puppy getting awaken from his sleep. "Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once. If you value your life, then you'll hand over all of your money now! And anything else of value, too! Otherwise I'll wipe that stupid, happy-go-lucky look right off your face... By eatin' you! Startin' at your head and working my way down, until-" Mammon kept threatening, making Kitsune roll her eyes and sigh. Despite being the most innocent of them all, he sure was annoying. To put him in his place, Kitsune poofed right behind him, patting him on the shoulder, startling him. As he yelped in fear, he turned around, yelling, only to see no one there... Only another pat on the shoulder from behind. This action repeated a few times, with the white haired male getting angrier and angrier by the second, until he was ultimately tripped, and the girl placed her shoe on his neck. "If you value your life, don't threaten me. I'll burn you alive." her voice was low and scary, making him whimper, as he watched the way "Who the hell do ya think you ar-" he continued, a bit louder, but was soon stopped by Lucifer sucker-punching him. "Damn... That was a good blow to the liver." the girl wolf-whistled, which seemed to earn a smirk. "GAH, OWW! Hey, what's the big idea?!" Mammon pouted, as if he was just an innocent soft boy. "Kitsune, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed. He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates. They're left without a Grimm to their name." Satan informed me, yet he seemed to mock him. "That's Devildom's currency, in case you weren't aware." he continued with a clarification. "And he's also a masochist. That part's important." Asmodeus teased with a gleeful look on his face. "Y'all, stop telling lies! I ain't asked for that punch and I AIN'T a masochist!" Mammon pouted like a kicked puppy, and Kitsune almost felt bad for him. "I believe this teasing has gone too far. I shall retreat to my room, if possible. As I said, enough social interaction, you people are tiring me." she patted Mammon's ruffled up hair, before stepping in front of Diavolo. "Shall we?" "Yes, we shall, Kitsune. Lucifer, could you wrap up things around here? Since it's weekend tomorrow, I'll take the liberty of showing Kitsune around myself, and she'll be staying the night at the castle. Could you make sure everything is settled around for her dormitory in the House of Lamentations?" Diavolo asked, putting his arm around the girl, ready to exit the great hall. "Yes, of course. Until next time, Kitsune." thus, Lucifer and all of his brothers were dismissed, and with that, Kitsune was guided by the Demon Prince through the labyrinthine halls of the Academy, and whilst she tried to memorise her way around the place... Not only was she directionally challenged, but she was also incredibly lost, from start to finish. Hopefully, they will install some arrows with the way needed to be taken for each class, otherwise, who knows where she'll be finding herself.
Next, they found themselves outside - The view was breathtaking, the sky looked like a dark abyss embellished with little twinkling pearls - And the city was illuminated with hundreds of bright lights of every colour. Somewhere in the distance, a large castle could be seen. Imposing, dark, as if it belonged to some malefic villain... Was that Diavolo's castle? If so, the exterior design didn't match his aesthetic in the least. It only needed an abundant amount of dark clouds and lightning, and it would have made for the perfect horror movie.
The man spoke, here and there, but Kitsune's mind was far too preoccupied with the beautiful landscapes that she was allowed to witness. Yes, whatever information he may have been telling must be important, but so is admiring everything around. The air was warm and refreshing, and the calming sound of the night breeze rustling through the tree leaves was making the girl close her eyes and smile in content, feeling at peace. The heavy atmosphere from inside the Academy wasn't as hard to bear with outside - In fact, it almost felt like a normal walk through the village back home. It seems that she is going to take quite a few walks around this city.
She wasn't sure how fast time flew, but she wasn't tired by the time they arrived in front of the castle gates - She looked up, but the tallest tower was lost into the sky, that's how immense the building was. "What do you do with so much space?" she muttered softly, as she was welcomed inside the castle grounds. Left and right of the paved path towards the castle, beautifully attended gardens with shining flowers were captivating Kitsune's eyes. Completely forgetting of the Prince's existence, she stopped dead in her tracks and stepped onto the soft green grass, towards a far away flower - It was lonely, but beautiful, blooming on the top of a black archway. Light blue and glowing, it completely stole her attention, as she gazed fondly at it.
"Do you like it?" she was startled out of her reverie, as she found the man, wearing a soft smile, on the either side of the archway, looking down at the flower as well. "Yes, I can see why you like it. It's a very rare flower that Barbatos found for me. It's found in a very dangerous forest, somewhere deep, where only the bravest demons dare venture. Or so he said." he chuckled lightly, watching the girl nod reluctantly. "It's... Beautiful. I have never seen anything like it before. Is it magic?" the girl spoke in a soft voice. "All plants in Devildom have some percentage of magic, more or less. Demon magic. But this one is a bit different. The story goes that an angel shed a tear and it fell into the human world, where this flower was first in bloom. Humans couldn't appreciate it, however, for it was one of its kind, and they wanted to make profit of it, so before the flower wilted, the last human owner sold it to the devil, who brought it here." he explained the brief history behind it. "Something tells me none of that is real. But that's the fun of human stories. They're so ridiculous, it's impossible not to enjoy them, to some extent." the corners of her mouth turned upwards just the littlest bit. "Hmmm... I have an idea!" with such an exclamation, Diavolo reached his hands out towards the flower - Realising his intent, Kitsune immediately stopped him by grabbing them. "Don't take it away!" she pleaded with him. "If you do, it will wilt. It would be a pity if such a beautiful flower should die because of our whims." "Don't worry, it won't wilt. It has magic protecting it." he spoke, feeling the girl's hands slowly leave his, allowing him to carefully cut off the flower - He then stepped from behind the archway, and with one hand cupping her face, he put a strand of her hair behind her ear, along with the glowing flower. "There, now you're both glowing with beauty!" his laughed seemed so innocent and pure, and he complimented her with such ease, that she couldn't help but look away, hiding her rosy cheeks. "Don't speak such words so freely." she ushered, scolding him. At least now she understood why Lucifer was so uncomfortable whenever Diavolo spoke so highly of him. "Well, Kitsune, take it this way - Since the flower won't wilt, it won't be alone anymore, on the arch. It will stay with someone that can properly appreciate its beauty, and everywhere you go, others will be able to look at it and admire it as well!" he explained his logic, earning a slow nod from her. "... Thank you." her voice was barely above a whisper from the embarrassment, but much to his glee, the demon prince heard her words, and beamed with happiness. "Come on, let me show you your temporary home - But your chamber will be yours for as long as you stay in Devildom, so if you ever want to visit me, you won't have to worry about returning to the House of Lamentations!" he exclaimed happily. "You are very considerate." she pointed out, more as a fact than a compliment. "I will one day truly rule Devildom, so I have to know how to take care of all of my people's needs." his never-faltering smile still remained on his face as strong and vibrant, even as he showed her her new bedroom, the halls, his study room... Or his own bedroom, where they remained for a cup of tea, some snacks, and a basic tutorial on how to use her new cell phone. Just as before, the man was incredibly patient, understanding that she never was in direct contact with any modern technology, so she needs to take it easy and ease into this new world, new life... New everything, little by little.
By the end of the evening, it seemed that the girl was already getting the gist of her device - At least she always been proud of how much of a fast learned she always was. "Okay, Kitsune, I'll go ahead and send you a message!" Diavolo exclaimed excitedly, as she looked up and offered him a shy grin. "I sent you a... Sticker in return! Did it get sent? ... I think here it says that you have also seen it." she explained what she was seeing on her screen, making Diavolo laugh in happiness. "Yes, very well, I did get it, you're doing great!" the prince praised her, patting her hair like a child, timid but happy with her achievements. "Thank you... For your patience." she bowed her head lightly at him. "It's my pleasure!" he chuckled, only for Barbatos to enter the room, telling the two that it was getting late and they should be sleeping. As Kitsune was halfway out of the room, Diavolo stopped her. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me, Kitsune?" as she turned her head to look at him, she realised that his eyes were peering right into her soul, as if he could read whether she was being genuine or not. She felt like a specimen under a hawk's watch, ready to be devoured at the littlest mistake. Instead, she merely smiled and wiggled her fingers lazily at him. 'Sweet Dreams, little lordling.' she said, closing the door behind her.
Not a lie, nor a truth to his question, but merely an avoidance. It wasn't the right time to tell him what she felt... Or rather, what she could feel that he was feeling, deep inside his repressed emotions. Thus, she went down the stairs, looking around for her temporary bedroom, admiring the opulent and luxurious architecture that made the castle look so royal and fantastic - It was so different than the palaces around Japan, China or Korea... Everything was so different, but she knew this was very similar to Western architecture. Despite not being well versed in technology, there were enough bookstores and libraries around for her to do all kinds of research.
Problem was... She was lost.
Slapping her forehead in disdain, she looked around the place and realised she was in a very unfamiliar hallway... They definitely didn't go through there. Sighing, she took out her D.D.D. and messaged the Prince some stickers. First, came this <Sticker> ; And then, this <Sticker>.
Diavolo: What happened, Kitsune? Kitsune: I... Kitsune: ... Diavolo: Kitsune, are you alright? Kitsune: No. Kitsune: I'm a mess. Kitsune: I'm awful. Kitsune: I need a map and a tour guide everywhere I go. Diavolo: Kitsune... Did you get lost on your way to the bedroom? Kitsune: ... Yes. Diavolo: It's alright, the castle is huge, even I get lost sometimes! Diavolo: Can you tell me where you are? Kitsune: If I could, I wouldn't be in distress. Kitsune: It looks like a... What do you call it... Kitsune: Event room? Kitsune: It's almost fully golden, the ceiling is very high, and there are chandeliers everywhere. Kitsune: And a grand piano. Diavolo: Ah, you're in the ballroom! Hold up, I'll come get you! Kitsune: Thanks... And sorry for the problem. Diavolo: It's never a problem helping you, Kitsune!
Thus, Kitsune started walking around the giant 'Ballroom' as he called it, and admired the place. She remembers some pictured from a French castle, called 'Versailles', and the gold, the mirrors, the carvings, the paintings, the crystals... Everything screamed that there lived a King. She could only wonder, if this is the degree of opulence that this single room displayed, how elegant were the guests, and how extravagant the parties held were.
She had no idea how long she strolled around, admiring the room, smiling as she imagined couples dancing merrily on the marble floor - So much that she began the hum the tune of 'Waltz of the Flowers' by Tchaikovsky, and remembering how her little apprentices would oftentimes get drunk and pull her to dance to all the random things, she learnt some of the most unusual dance styles... Including the Viennese Waltz. Even if she wasn't wearing whatever puffy, lavished outfits that princesses wore, and she was merely wearing her stylised priestess outfit, she still enjoyed twirling around in the four steps, pretending to dance with someone.
Her day-dreaming was disturbed once more by the sound of footsteps echoing on the floor, as the Demon Prince, now wearing only his pyjama pants and a half-buttoned, sleeves rolled up black shirt, stepped towards her - He bent at the waist in front of her, and extended his hand towards her. "May I have this dance?" he asked, making Kitsune's eyes grow wide with surprise an embarrassment. "O-Oh, uhm... I-I'm not sure it's really proper... To share such an intimate dance with a stranger." she fumbled, taking one step backwards to create some distance between them. "Really, now? I wasn't aware. Is that how it is in the human world?" he asked, straightening up, not at all offended by the refusal. "Either way, you danced beautifully, bravo!" he then applauded her performance, making her cheeks redden even more. "That was not something worth of praise... I never danced anything like this before. It is not something that originated in my country... But a few drunk girls thought it fun to use me as a teaching instrument." she coughed, changing the subject for a while. "And no, it's not a problem of the human world, it's a problem of mine, and the traditions that I was brought up into, many hundreds of years ago." she explained, awkwardly. "Well, that's understandable! Very well, let's get you back to your room, you must be exhausted. Don't worry about a thing tomorrow, Barbatos will come bring you breakfast, so you can sleep in as much as you wish. When you're ready to get out, just text me and I'll come pick you up, alright?" the man smiled sweetly at her, as he escorted her to her bedroom. "... Alright. Thank you again for your troubles, Diavolo. I hope I won't have to disturb you again." she chuckled nervously in shame at her own misdemeanours. "By all means, please do. Good night, Kitsune." he grinned, patting her head before leaving.
This allowed the girl to close the door and step inside her bedroom, admiring how absolutely gorgeous her new bedroom was. She never thought she could ever see anything so simple, yet so beautiful and elegant in its own classy way, despite it being so unfamiliar to anything that she ever encountered during the ages in her own country. It was fascinating.
Noticing the silk nightgown that was placed on the bed, Kitsune picked it and went to take a relaxing bubble bath, before turning in for the night - It was only then, when she got in the cloud-like bed, that she realised how absolutely drained she felt. She wasn't sure if it was the Devildom air, or all the new things all at once, or how much she got lost... But she knew, that night, she was going to sleep like a child.
Still, there was only one thing that was going through her head, at that was Diavolo - Or rather... How could such a kind and attentive man harbour such awful, painful, damaging emotions, such unquenchable wrath and rage that could make the whole universe freeze over - Something so overbearing that would make even the embodiment of Wrath that she met just a few hours prior, tremble in fear before him. She couldn't understand him. The more he approached her, the more hear heart wanted her to get closer to him, only for her instincts to yell at her in fear, making her tremble all over at the potential threat. Diavolo could simply blink the wrong way, and it could make the whole Human Realm dissipate into thin dust. He didn't seem the type to act on a whim, clearly, but what in the world could have created such negative feelings in his heart, so bad that he can't seem to appease them in any way?
No matter, this wasn't the type to be playing the esper detective, nor should she care, to begin with. For the night, she needed rest, and nothing more.
Next Chapter >
#the kitsune's spell#obey me#obey me x reader#obey me x oc#obey me imagine#obey me diavolo#obey me diavolo x reader#obey me diavolo imagine#obey me diavolo x oc#obey me diavolo x kitsune
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Higher than the Stars playlist
This is subject to be updated as I find new songs (It probably needs more metal)
Liner notes below the cut like it's 2013
Cobra Tattoo- The Mountain Goats (Where the title comes from)
Higher than the stars I will set my throne God does not need Abraham, God can raise children from stones
Dream at night Girl with the cobra tattoo And try to hear The garbled transmissions coming through
Isis Unveiled- And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
I have made you in my likeness and I have made you The keeper of my garden world As you honor me in kind, I'll be grateful but be warned for
I am a jealous God Give me daughters, send me sons, I'll make them all chosen ones
I'll send them out to die To meet the angels of death With no fears, no regrets
Wayward Daughter- Brown Bird
Cast not your stone at the wayward daughter Lay down the gavel and the robe If not for the lure of darker water No salvation we would know
For every saint, a wild marauder And a beast in wait for heroes tall
America- Sufjan Stevens
I have loved you, I have grieved I'm ashamed to admit I no longer believe I have loved you, I received I have traded my life for a picture of the scenery
I have loved you like a dream I have kissed your lips like a Judas in heat I have worshipped, I believed I have broke your bread for a splendor of machinery
Woman King- Iron and Wine
Hundred years, hundred more Someday we may see a Woman king, sword in hand Swing at some evil and bleed
Hundred years, hundred more Someday we may see a Woman king, bloodshot eye Thumb down and starting to weep
Neighbourhood #2 (Laika)- Arcade Fire
Alexander, our older brother Set out for a great adventure He tore our images out of his pictures He scratched our names out of all his letters
Our mother should've just named you Laika…
It's for your own good It's for the neighborhood…
Cry for Judas - The Mountain Goats
Feel the storm every night, hope it passes by Hallucinate a shady grove where Judas went to die
Unfurl the black velvet altar cloth Draw a white chalk Baphomet Mistreat your altar boys long enough And this is what you get
Ancient Names (Part 1)- Lord Huron
Far out past the astral plane I cast you back from whence you came Cosmic cache and blackened brain And call you by your ancient names
I gotta get away from here I gotta get away from her
Sapokonikan - Joanna Newsom (Not on Spotify, fyi)
Interred with other daughters, in dirt in other potters' fields above them, parades mark the passing of days through parks where pale colonnades arch in marble and steel,
where all of the twenty-thousand attending your foot fall and the cause that they died for are lost in the idling bird calls, and the records they left are cryptic at best, lost in obsolescence. The text will not yield, nor x-ray reveal with any fluorescence where the hand of the master begins and ends.
The Garden of Earthly Delights- Apocalypse Orchestra
Brought to life, in the image of God In this holy place Settled among the creatures odd Eve, dear girl, avert thy gaze Claims to love them all Her world below Minding not their fall A mirthful show
Hey Ho- Tracy Grammar
TV's on, the favorite son Is watchin' how the West was won Daddy, please, a plastic gun Get brother one for twice the fun
Hey ho, so it goes The point of sale, the puppet show The merchant kings of war and woe Have turned their hands to labor Sound out the trumpet noise The cannons bark and jump for joy Someone's dread and darlin' boy Has fallen on his saber
Mama- My Chemical Romance
Mama, we're all full of lies Mama, we're meant for the flies And right now, they're building a coffin your size Mama, we're all full of lies
Well, mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son If you could coddle the infection, they can amputate at once You should've been, I could have been a better son
Rainbow Signs- mewithoutyou
Pale horse songs of a slow decline Side show words if our moms don't mind:
God gave Noah the rainbow sign No more water, is the H-Bomb next time?
With imperial crowns we were sent, Riding out conquest-bent Daylight is breaking Wielding the sanctified sword For the army of the Scarecrow Lord
Breath of Life- Florence+ the Machine
I was looking for a breath of life For little touch of heavenly light But all the choirs in my head sang, "No, oh no, oh!"
To get a dream of life again A little vision of the start and the end But all the choirs in my head sang, "No, oh no, oh!"
A Demon's Fate- Within Temptation
What have you done? Is this what you wanted? What have you become? Your soul's now forsaken You're walking alone From heaven into hell
Angels have faith I don't want to be a part of this sin I don't want to get lost in this world I'm not playing this game
The Black- Dynazty
Revelation, devastation Opened up eyes blinded from the start I was the child born in the dark of your heart
Instigator, manipulator You baptized my life through burning pain Now I can never feel again
Out of silence comes defiance Risen to deny all that you are I'm the man forged in the fires of your war
Vindicator, a liberator I have come to set you free through pain You will be forced to feel again
O Superman- Laurie Anderson
Hello? This is your mother, are you there? Are you coming home?
And I said: okay, who is this really? And the voice said: This is the hand, the hand that takes This is the hand, the hand that takes This is the hand, the hand that takes
'Cause when love is gone, there's always justice And when justice is gone, there's always force And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!
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Ranting; A bittersweet goodbye
So starting this off, I think I'm going to start a ranting side of Tumbler as well as the stories. Sometimes sharing thoughts and feelings out into the open can help others, or can help me because people might be able to explain or just conversation. So here's one thought that's been in my head. I think the hardest thing for me to accept is death itself. Or even goodbyes. How do you say goodbye? How do you let those memories go? Recently, a YouTuber I grew up with known as Game Theory retired. Like everyone else, he’s not safe from the decay of time. Or wanting things to go back to how they were. He wanted to settle down and live with his family in the present, rather than through a camera. Which I understand completely. But at the same time… It hurts. I grew up with him. He was someone I looked up to for a long time, along with other YouTubers. And now… He’s going to be just a memory. It’s a bittersweet feeling, isn’t it? It makes me happy seeing them live their lives, but also sad because it means any memories I had are over now. A good start with a bitter-sweet ending. Some say one door closes, and another opens. But where do those doors lead to? It’s not going to be the first childhood idol I’m going to have to say goodbye to. Soon it’ll be the ones I’ve known even longer since I was 5 or 6. The feeling of getting home from school, putting YouTube on, and watching them play old crappy games of the 2000s was such a nice feeling. It brought comfort, joy, and so much more. I still get that, although it does not feel as cloudly, or hazy as it used to. And now, as the days go by, I get older. And they get way older. Someday instead of mourning their channel loss, it’ll be their death. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. These people have never met me, and never will probably. But they’ve all been such a big inspiration to me. They’ve molded who I am today and changed me for the better. At least I hope so.
When school gets tough, or when I’m struggling, their videos help me calm down. Their videos still bring me a sense of peace, even though it may not be as strong as when I was a kid. And I believe a lot of people feel that way. These days are scary, colder, and just so much more different than what anyone is used too. So of course, just like everything around us and ourselves, they change with time. People like to think it’s them that caused it, but it never was. We grew up, our eyes forcibly opened by many factors. And even those who haven’t, they’ve changed a lot since they were a kid. A lot of people say they never do, but all it takes is a look at a picture. Anytime I see photos of me when I was younger, I see a few similar things. But that’s it. My eyes look different, my smile, my hair, my physical appearance, how I present myself, everything has changed. Which is probably why these goodbyes hurt more. I try to go into denial as a coping mechanism. I deny they’re gone; I deny I won’t see them again, I pretend one day I’ll go on YouTube and there’s a new video uploaded an hour ago. But deep down, I know it isn’t going to happen. It’s crazy how YouTube became my coping mechanism in a way. I turned to people like Game Theory or Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, Dantdm, and even more. They have no idea who I am or anything about me. But it feels like they’re almost a parental figure to me. That sounds weird, but I have no other way to put it. So when you say goodbye to them, it hurts more than ever. Because I see them as someone close to me. Maybe it’s a bad thing, maybe it’s not. I can’t say. Human emotions, human thoughts, they’re all so complex. Even for me to understand. I can’t explain anything about why I feel how I do. I’m not a doctor. I’m no neuroscientist. I’m someone who just tries their best to get to where they want to be in life. To learn to find joy in small things like the wind, the cold or warm breeze in the air, the white snow that falls on the ground, and even something as bad as the natural disasters that harm us. I’m not a genius or anything of that sort. And even they can’t explain the reason we feel sad, or why we form connections to people we’ve never met or animals. The only thing we all have are estimations. There are no true or false answers. And who knows, maybe one day a goodbye won’t feel so bittersweet, or maybe I can come to terms with the fact that those who pass on are no longer here with us on this earth. That’s weird, isn’t it? I understand death, but at the same time, emotionally I don’t understand it. My brain can’t seem to grasp or doesn’t want to grasp the fact that someone’s gone. That I can never see them again. And although the Game Theory creators, Mat and Steph are not dead, it hits that way to me. In a way at least.
I just wish them well in their next chapter. This ones come to an end, and all the fans can agree that it's been an amazing and long one. So many times everyone would debate these theories or help look for evidence. Others would argue about whether it's right or wrong, and then a lot of the time Mat would be proven right. I wonder, what journey will we all take next? What will be the start of our new chapters as we enter 2024?
Requests and other related stuff: https://www.tumblr.com/anxietysslave/708212002841083904/masterlist?source=share
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Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.
So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?
So here goes. The update.
MOST RECENT:
Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.
Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.
Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!
IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:
Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.
EXTRAS
How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.
Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.
RIGHT NOW:
Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"
WANT:
Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.
WHICH IS BETTER:
Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.
HAVE YOU EVER
Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.
#warning: VERY long post behind the cut#but also: healing! improvement! look at her; she's okay now!#(mostly—getting there)#personal#I'm just sayin'
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my love 🥺🥺🩷 i hope you’re feeling well despite the wi-fi issues!! >< hopefully those get solved soon…
while you woke up i was actually in the middle of looking for these concept pics of tyunning because they’re some of my favorites 😭 and i needed to add some ice cream because i’ve bought so many 😭
now is the countdown of what we got… we got chocolate vanilla, chocolate gelato, frozen themed ice cream, SPONGEBOB ICE CREAM???? it looks so cute 😭 i haven’t had the chance to eat it yet but it looks so cute if i have it i’ll take a pic for you mommy 🥺🩷 and SO many ben and jerry’s flavors 😭 we got all of the ones we found at the store (no milk and cookies in sight… 😔)
while waiting i also found they had some cookie cake and i took a picture that i’ll send you in dms~ it looks like something you’d like hence why i took the pic but i wasn’t sure it was wise to buy it with the amount of ice cream we got so i decided not to get it but at least keep the memory of it because it reminded me of you 🥺🥺🩷 there was also banana cake and pumpkin spice cake??
anyway hehe~ that’s all for the groceries 👉👈🩷 going to my appointment and having my therapist be so supportive like yours is really made me feel so happy so early in the day and i’m just so relieved and glad 🥹🥹🩷 getting to talk about how it all happened was so fun and i was all happy talking about you although shy as well >\\\< 🩷🩷 i love you so much mommy 🥺🥺🩷 you’re the gem of my life, my sweetie pie 🥺🥺🩷 i missed you lots~ me wants to call mommy soon ;3; 🩷🩷 i hope you have a good day my love 🥹 later in the evening i’ll try to take pics of what i get at the buffet just for you!! 👉👈🩷 i love you my sweet darling~ 🥺🥺🩷
my baby~ 🥺🥺🩵🩵 other than the wifi issues i feel great!! honestly i’m just glad it’s an internet only issue and not a power issue i would’ve hated to wake up to no air conditioning or functioning oven that sounds like a nightmare 😭😭
an update on the internet: the company says it’s an outage that’s been going on for 12 hours now i’m surprised it hasn’t been fixed yet 😭😭 hopefully they’ll get this resolved soon
OMG THESE PICS ARE SO PRETTY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 this is such a pretty moodboard baby i love it 🥺🥺 (it’s almost as pretty as you~)
when you said you got spongebob ice cream i immediately thought of this abomination with the gum ball eyes and melting face 😭
(i remember them tasting pretty good though, like sorbet :o) hopefully yours looks better than this sjshhs
i’d love to know all the ben & jerry’s flavors you got 👀👀 so sad that milk and cookies is still nowhere to be found 😭😭 such is also the case for me finding that tiramisu flavor either it’s hiding from me or maybe it never even existed 😨😨😨
the cookie cake you sent is so cute now that i think about it we definitely have something like that here it’s just funny that for the label they use a completely different kind of cookie when it’s clearly oreo flavored 😭😭 i’d totally devour that though for sure 😩😩 oooh banana cake and pumpkin spice cake?? i’ve never had banana cake but i like making banana bread (it may as well be banana cake with all the flour, eggs, and sugar required to make it djshs) and i’ve made spice cake before too so i’d like to try those someday :0
i’m so relieved that your therapist was so supportive 🥺🥺🥺 that seriously made me so so happy it really made my day 🥹🩵 hehe i’m imaging you getting all shy when talking about me and i want you to know that i also get shy when asked about you even though internally i’m always begging for an excuse to bring you up hehehe 🤭🤭🩵 i always get so happy when i get to talk about you my love 🥺 i love my sweet baby so much~ you’re the light of my life and my shining star i’m always missing you and looking forward to the next time we can talk 🥺🩵🩵 mommy wants to call her baby soon too 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 my day has been amazing so far because of you 🥺 i hope yours has been great too~ yesss send pics let me eat vicariously through you hehe :3 i love you so much my little cherry fairy 🥺🩵
#i’m still so giddy about your therapist supporting us like omg 😭😭😭🩵🩵#like both of our therapists are supporting us i can’t believe it i’m so happy 🥺🥺🩵🩵#you deserve all the love and support my dear 🥺🩵#my baby deserves everything good in this world and more~ 🩵🩵#still can’t believe someone as sweet and kind and smart and beautiful is my girlfriend 😭😭 like??? my heart is exploding#cherry bear 🍒
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Before i go into part 29 small update: took a decision, it was a hard one but i have to do it, i will post till part 35 and then the missing panels, then it goes into hiatus the Nightmare comic... I kinda lost my motivation again...
Sorry if the story and action is a bit slow eh, i'm trying my best 😓😓
Nightmare AU part 29
Panel 1
Sky Coeur the detective:"You look different Donut from the last time we saw each other."
Donut:"Yes, this is my human form, i have ıearned in all these years of hiding, it's so much fun!"
Red the fortune teller:" You missed so much, Donut,we have a new friend, some crimes are going on, we fought some loyal subjects of the fake Nightmare king, my little sister got married..."
Melinoë the princess of nightmares:"Oh hello, i see new faces around here, you must be Donut... They told me so much about you! Someone sure is happy to have you back."
Staran the galaxy man:"Donut, we are planning to go to the local book store... Would you like to join us?"
Donut:"It's time to change back, I'll show you all how to do it."
Staran the galaxy man:"That was amazing, something new everyday, hope one day i can do that too..."
Hester the photo marksmen:"Yes, it's much easier this way. You need to have at least 2 different forms!"
Hester the photo marksmen:" Are we ready? We have a long day ahead us, let's go!"
Luna the moon demon:"Come on Amstran the moon dancer you are with me, can't wait to see more of this town!"
Panel 3
Faith the head rabbit:"Finally we are leaving that old, dirty and smelly motel, i need to stretch my ears..."
Amstran the moon dancer:"That odd, we have a month and four days since we arrive here and i don't see any light...Hm..."
Luna the moon demon:"Maybe you aren't looking in the right direction..."
Le souris bonbon neige:"So how will we find the place?"
Amstran the moon dancer:"We will use our intuition, remember this is just like a detective game."
Staran the galaxy man:"Just knock on the door..."
Le souris bonbon neige:"Are you sure this is the right door, what if some strange creature comes and eat us."
Polestar the star sprite:"Don't be such a baby, i will knock it myself!"
Trisha the hour glass:"Welcome! Finally you arrive, Amstran the moon dancer and your friends... Come in we must not waste any time now."
Donut:"Wow, this place is much bigger than it looks from outside! Thank you for inviting me here."
Panel 5
Polestar the star sprite :"Your place is beautiful and so many books... Can i touch them?"
Trisha the hour glass:"Sure, read what ever you like, dear... Come on Amstran the moon dancer come here, this is the cave of revelation, please step on the rock in the middle under the waterfall..."
Nishya the dream cat:"The books are so detailed and interesting, i never seen so many pictures!"
Luna the moon demon:"Look at the bright part at least we can have some peace and quiet before the storm."
Donut:"Are those about unrequited love drama books? Oh, i love that author, i might as well borrow a book."
Polestar the star sprite: "This cave is HUGE, i can't believe that this is under your bookstore... It's amazing."
Le souris bonbon neige:"I have a strong dislike for caves and rivers or any deep water i may see..."
Amstran the moon dancer:"We are here, so we better be quick about it, too much to do today."
Trisha the hour glass:"Now focus, close your eyes and let your mind free, try not to think while listen to the water falls, feel the energy, connect with it..."
Amstran the moon dancer:" I... See..."
Panel 7
Trisha the hour glass:"Shush, do not speak, let's leave him alone for a few minutes, he must be alone, so who is next?"
Sky Coeur the detective:"What is he seeing?"
Trisha the hour glass:"He can find out everything he want to descover, he can find out his fate for example..."
Staran the galaxy man:"That is interesting, i hope that me and Polestar the star sprite will get married someday."
Hester the photo marksmen:"There are some bpoks i wish to take with us, they might help us...Hope that is alright with you, Trisha the hour glass."
Staran the galaxy man:"So, what did you saw Amstran the moon dancer?"
Amstran the moon dancer:"A lot, i don't know what to say...!
Trisha the hour glass:"You don't have to, write on a piece of paper and than i will tell you where to look for answers, so... Who is next?"
Hester the photo marksmen:"I will... Wish me luck Lunica!"
Luna the moon demon:"Hope you stay there Hester the photo marksmen,hmph, such a child!"
Red the fortune teller:"Trisha the hour glass may you have a minute, i need to tell you something, it's about those symbols, i saw them somewhere...I saw them in flames..."
Amstran the moon dancer:" Trisha the hour glass, can i see the book named "Ossylium cerevia"?
Staran the galaxy man:" What kinda book that is? How it will help us?"
Trisha the hour glass:"It will help you understand the Nightmare world better, we can't speak about it but there is this book that will guide you better."
Red the fortune teller:"According to this, the Nightmare world exist as a reality, it's the source of every nightmare we have, that's why in some parts is foggy all the time, the multiple moons and the distortion of our faces and "citizens"."
Polestar the star sprite:"It's been a while since i heard about it, i read something about it when i was young, my mother had a jurnal, though it was just a silly story! Our citizens see the real world as a dream we have sometimes."
Amstran the moon dancer:"Imvoktis grenara symboli vertitis!"
Luna the moon demon:"What are you doing? Don't read any of that, it might be dangerous!"
Le souris bonbon neige:"Guys, that is a little too late! Look flying books, watch out!"
Trisha the hour glass:"Please, don't make a mess, they are books, not toys!"
Nishya the dream cat:"Sorry everyone!"
Part 1 till part 28
Donut belongs to @ caprin-fishie
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Some links for the people that called the accusations 'untrue slander'.
He said he would change himself for the better but this never happened as this kind of behaviour would continue, as shown here: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/932773495/5014686045 and here: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/72664788/5068272769 , where he asks to draw NSFW for a minor, and 'jokingly' says to another minor that he was attracted to them at one point. He was aware of them both being minors and also his followers in general.
He has uploaded a picture that shows that his age is 34, https://www.deviantart.com/bloodyripperbeast/art/Arteest-1008807895 this is all public information. It's weird enough for an adult to seek out and try to befriend minors, but adding lewd comments too while being aware of this is concerning especially when this is a way for him to test limits and see if it can be escalated while being passed off as a joke if recieved negatively.
Later on he asked one of them to continue their conversation on Discord, which is weird because adults have no business seeking out and talking to minors on Discord, (if you did read the journal before it was deleted it went into detail on this). He tried to guilt trip here as well. https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/1010244904/5109684408
By now people were catching on to him and more people had witnessed his comments. He made a post on the forum where he complained about getting bullied for no reason and someone calls him out on this: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/18/2716971/5105683472
Here one can see what was previously meant.
Much of that can be interpreted in many ways without complete context or verification (e.g. with discord and with age/timing). For example, "at one point" could mean "before I learned the truth" or "before I knew better" and the suggestion to make art could have the intended implication of "someday". It's also worth looking into there may have been an apology (I see he does mention the existence of at least one, and if the people in charge were once concerned, they no longer seem to be, perhaps due to this) and that everything was reversed back to normal. Interactions which are unsuitable age-wise are not encouraged here, but these are important questions for any supposed perpetrator to gather a true judgment/prescription, along with the "arteest" entry, and this demonstrates the value of co-consulting among two sides. Forming an angry crowd at such a stage is a bit overly absolute.
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Day 1 [Restart] 6/5/2023 of building Elsa's Ice Palace
Ok, so yesterday (Sunday) there wasn’t much to report, since Sundays are usually my rest days. I wound up sleeping through church (whoops) but it ended up working in my favor since it gave me time to write out my blog and get everything ready.
Today will begin Day 1 of my journey to build Elsa’s Ice Palace, and we’re already off to a better start than I anticipated. I don’t have enough for any major projects just yet, but I do have a good practice run in the making.
The property I’m looking at is a flipped house and was a bit of a fixer upper (I believe I said that in my previous post) so it’s running for relatively cheap since there’s still some work to do. It’s fully done on the inside, and the location is great. I really do think once it’s fixed up it will make a great airbnb.
Here’s the kicker that I hadn’t been thinking of when I first saw the property: the attic space in this house has a similar ceiling shape as the top floor of Elsa’s Ice Palace. I can easily transform that into a mini version of the space!!! That will give me good practice of designing, finding materials, and all the things I would need to do for the full scale version!
It would be a project I would probably have to do next year however, since I still need to save up enough to even tackle it. I can wall off the attic for now and just try to make some money on the house itself. I can’t show the pictures yet since it’s not my house, but once you see it you’ll agree it makes a cute getaway cottage! I’m actually really excited!
Today I'll be making the offer for the house, then it will be a long road to see if they accept, and ultimate close. It can take a month and a half before closing the deal on the house, so wish me luck on this emotional rollercoaster, lol.
On a funny coincidence, my discord chat was saying how we should keep each other accountable for skincare routines. We all seem to have the stuff, but none of the discipline XD. It started as a joke but now this may become a part of my daily life too. Which is just as well- how can I be a famous youtuber if I don’t have gorgeous skin?
(I told you I’m a performer, right? I’d like to actually sing someday.)
I decided to make the font a different color because I thought it would be pretty, and wanted to make it stand out. Do you like it?
Well anyway I need to go do my coach classes then try to wind down for bed. I’ll see you all later. Thank you for reading!
Day 1 [Cont] Of building Elsa’s Ice Palace
Ok so slight snafu, I can’t ask for the full seller concessions like I had hoped. Basically it’s when the buyer asks for the seller to pay for all of, or in this case most of, the closing costs of the house sale. There’s the down payment itself, which is to pay part of the house price, and then the closing costs, which is how much money it takes to actually do the house sale transaction, so normally you pay for both. Because of the amount of money I’m approved for, I can only ask for so much in concessions when I make my offer, so I’ll still need to pay for $5,000 for the down payment and closing costs combined.
I know, it’s a big chunk of cash. That’s why you need to spend YEARS saving up before buying a house. Or in my case, live with family for a while and just put away half your paycheck each time until you save up enough. Trust me, it’s painful for me to watch too, but I know it will be worth it.
So far we don’t think there will be a problem. We put in an offer to the house, which is lower than the asking price, then they’ll counter with a slightly higher price until we settle on something. Basically, you haggle for the house. I think we’re in a really good position buyers wise in the market right now.
It’s a shame I can’t use that extra thousand toward furniture, but oh well, lol. If it can seal my possession of the house, it’ll be worth it. Once I have it I’ll have all the time in the world to buy what I need.
I’m starting to have doubts about being a life coach. I don’t mean to talk badly about myself, but with everything that’s happened the last few years I’m not 100% sure about my own mental stability. I have major triggers and I do have a tendency to people please. I’m not sure that’s actually best for a life coach, especially since sometimes you need to speak frankly to people to get your point across.
I’m going to talk frankly to my instructors and classmates about it and see what they think. If I should back out of it I should do so now before it’s too late lol.
Ok, NOW it’s time for bed. G’night, folks!
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