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electricopolis-net · 2 years

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S02E06: The Game Show Killer (Part 1)

1. Paulina Gets Fired

Paulina stood in the elevator, her hands fidgeting at her sides. She plucked at the fabric of her well-kept slacks, needled at the strings inside her pockets, and tried not to chew a hole through her own cheek. He’s gonna let me off easy, I know it, she tried to convince herself. He likes me. We’ve known each other a long time… Has this elevator always been this slow?

The doors opened into a massive room. It was nearly as large as a tennis court, and the entire back wall was made of glass. Through it she could see alien shapes moving in the thick, dark water, cast in an eerie blue light by lamps from beneath the aquarium. The fish swam round and round, some looking at her with eyes as big as saucers. Others had no discernable eyes at all. And one of them had a tiny light of its own on a long, thin tendril, dangling right above its hideous maw.

“Paulina,” came a cold, clear voice. She snapped to attention. At the end of a long carpet, a pale and sickly-looking man—his hair and skin a gauzy white, his form beautiful even in his gauntness—laced his fingers together. “Why did I receive a call from the head of Top Tier this morning?”

“I-I dunno, boss,” Paulina stammered. “Why?”

“This isn’t a riddle, you goon!” President Amar roared, bringing his hand down onto the desk with a sound like a gunshot. Paulina jumped. “I had to spend thirty minutes convincing Percy King that I wasn’t responsible for his dim-bulb host coming home with bruises. Would you care to explain why you moved without my explicit authorization?”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I thought…I thought it was the right time. I mean, you always said Sparker was the weak link in TT, so I thought I could help you.” The excuses tumbled out of her as she gesticulated. “I know you’ve always wanted him out of the picture! I just jumped the gun a little, that’s all!”

“That’s all? Do you realize the nightmare you’ve put me through?” Amar spun around in his chair to face the aquarium, sighing irritably. “I've already had my hands full with that idiot nephew of mine terrorizing Sparker and his friends on the road! Don't tell me you two came up with this on your own."

“I don't know anything about that, boss,” Paulina groveled. “I swear! I can talk to him, if you want," she stammered. "He and I get along real well, but--"

Amar spun back around, his gaze cold. “No, I think you’ve done quite enough for one day,” he declared. “I wouldn’t dream of imposing any more work upon you. Collect your things from the hotel, Paulina. I’m terminating your employment, effective as of…” He glanced at his watch. “Now.”

Paulina froze.

“Did you hear me? Get out of here,” her boss ordered. He pointed towards the door with an immaculately manicured white finger. In the lamplight, it sparkled like snow. “Go back to the underground, where I plucked you out of the dirt and dust. I’m sure those rats in the tunnels will be more than willing to welcome you again.”

Paulina had made the trip to the tunnels hundreds, if not thousands, of times, but it was one she was hoping she’d never have to make again. To get to the town’s generators, the workers had to take buses to the lowest residential tier, 1-1, and then board the massive freight elevators that carried people and equipment down, down, down towards the very bottom of the city. Past the isolated farms, the crowded factories, and the prisons was the heart of Electricopolis itself: the power plants.

“Please, no,” she begged, quavering. “Please, Mr. Amar, I can make it up to you!” From out of the shadows, two figures approached, winding their arms around hers, dragging her towards the exit. “I swear,” she cried out, “I’ll make it up to you!”

---

Past the prisons, she thought to herself. Even lower than the convicts.

The power plant was ring-shaped, like the rest of Electricopolis' layers, and large enough to be a town in its own right. The electricity transfer lines criss-crossed each other and sprawled outwards in a jumble of wire and metal. Radio towers for worker use jutted upwards, blinking red and yellow, and the fluorescent lights flickered weakly.

Distantly, the wind whistled through the vents in the walls, but it wasn't enough to dislodge the dust and grime that settled on every surface. Paulina pulled her face mask up over her nose and mouth.

"D24," came a short, clipped voice from a man with a notepad. "D24."

She checked her work ticket, then looked up. “Here.”

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” the foreman remarked. “You’ll be on Team F, laying cable from points 28 to 32.” He reached down, grabbed a spool of heavy-duty cable, and shoved it at her. “Get going, don’t slack off, and don’t cause any trouble.”

As she walked past him, she heard him let out a knowing, smarmy chuckle. A wave of revulsion rose in her. “And welcome back,” he added.

---

At the end of the day, Paulina dragged herself into the bar. It was the only one in the maintenance tunnels, and it was crowded at all hours of the day and night with workers nursing their drinks and swapping stories. As she collapsed into an empty seat near the back of the room, she felt herself start to unwind and relax. This was where she felt most comfortable--in the din and dimness of a crowd of people. After the harrowing experience of being pinned under the eyes of Mr. Amar and the foreman, she relished the chance to do the pinning instead.

Her eyes wandered around the room, pulling from one end of the bar to the other. Some of the women were playing cards, some of the men were arguing over who owed money to whom, and some of the others were watching the television. It was a dingy, black-and-white little thing, looking about twenty years past its prime. It was playing Shock 'Til You Drop, one of the ones Paulina recognized as a rerun, and most of the folks at the bar were whooping and hollering whenever the contestant managed to weather another of Sparker's electric shocks.

Only one man at the bar was silent. His eyes narrowed, and his mouth pulled tight into a barely restrained grimace. Oh, now this was a kindred spirit.

Paulina grabbed her glass of water and shoved herself into a gap between the barstools. "That show's on almost every night," she said. "You like it?"

"Not…" the man cast his gaze from the television down into his glass. "Not very much."

"Me neither," Paulina said, nudging him with her elbow. "Somethin' about that guy just rubs me the wrong way."

The man looked up at her for the first time. His eyes had deep hollows under them, as if he hadn't slept a wink, and his voice was hoarse. But his fingers tightened around the glass with a strong grip, and his features hardened, even as his voice betrayed his curiosity.

"You mean Bob Sparker?" he asked.

Paulina nodded. She watched him, and he watched her. For a moment, they traded stares. And then the man gave way once more, looking down again. And he admitted: "I don't like him much either."

Jackpot. Paulina leaned over, curious. "You know him?" she asked.

"Do you?"

"I met him once or twice, back when I worked up top." On the television screen, Bob Sparker cavorted around the stage, cackling with laughter as he threw the switches to the electric chair. "I tried to give him some…career advice, but he just blew me off. Ungrateful, if you ask me."

The man blinked. "Hey, the same thing happened to me. Well…sort of. He was ungrateful, that's for sure."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Well…" He fingered his glass, drained it, and then confessed: "I used to know him growing up. We used to be…best friends. But now that he's a big star, he completely blew me off. Acted like he didn't owe me anything. Like I was just some big burden to him." The words came out quickly, in a rush. "It makes me so mad, when folks go up top and then suddenly they're too good for--"

He heaved a sigh, shuddering, and put his hand over his eyes. "For the rest of us," he finished. "Sorry. I guess I got worked up."

"Hey, don't apologize." She leaned over and patted the man on the shoulder. "I feel the exact same way. Those assholes like to just use people and throw them away," she lamented. "Just like me."

"Exactly." The man nodded. "You get it. You're the only person who does." He looked around, then leaned in. "Everyone else acts like they're gonna make it big someday. Like they're going to go to an audition once they get the time and the money, and then they'll be stars too. Can you believe that?"

Paulina laughed. "Delusional."

"Yeah," he said, echoing her. "Delusional."

Their laughter faded out, covered by the chatter of the bar. Paulina and the man looked at each other. She smiled. He smiled back. Slowly, he reached out a calloused hand.

"It's nice to meet you," he said. "I'm Sam Gale."

"Nice to meet you too," Paulina replied, grabbing his hand and shaking it heartily. "Name's Paulina Sweet. You know," she added slyly, "I think we might just get to be friends."

He invited her back to his dormitory, a small one-room apartment where some of the workers lived. He told her the whole sordid story there, and what a story it was--full of resentment, bitterness, despair, near-traffic collisions and even a fist fight, to boot. By coincidence, Samuel Gale's run-in with Bob Sparker had occurred only a few months before Paulina's, and they bonded over their shared hatred of the man. Paulina's hatred, however, was mostly a result of her professional rivalry; it was obvious that Gale's dark feelings came from a much deeper place in his psyche. The poor guy truly felt that he was owed Sparker's adoration, his attention, some small part of his golden shine, as payment for having once been his friend.

Paulina had absolutely no sympathy for him. But she did recognize an opportunity when she saw one.

"I used to live near him," Sam Gale said, his eyes dewy and dark. "But I can't go back up there anymore. The idea that I might see him again--it's been killing me."

"You been to a therapist?"

"No."

Good, she thought. She moved closer to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Can you tell me something?" she asked. "If you did end up seeing him again, what would you want to…do to him?"

He buried his head in his hands, groaning. "I don't know. I don't want to fight him, not physically. I just…" He let out a deep sob. "My head and my chest keep pounding. I just want him to know how it feels. I just want him to understand how much it hurts."

"I know, pal. I know." Paulina patted his shoulder and pulled him close. "What if I told you I could get you on his show?"

Sam laughed and wiped at his face with his sleeve. "Don't bother," he said. "He already said I wouldn't be any good."

She leaned in, whispering. "I'll make you good," she said. "I'll make you a shockproof, voltproof machine."

"How? Cheating or something?"

"No, no cheating. That's the beauty of it," she explained. Slowly, a spark of life began to shine in Samuel Gale's eyes, and he looked up at her, blinking tears away. "We'll do it fair and square, so he can't ignore you anymore. You'll beat him on his terms, and then he'll have to give you your due. Would you like that?" she asked sweetly. "Does that sound good?"

His gaze lifted away, and he stared into the distance. Somewhere inside him, Paulina knew he was there on the stage, triumphant. "What would I have to do?" he asked.

"I tell you what." Paulina turned towards him and clasped his hands in her own, like a child sharing a secret. "I have some money saved up from…some side jobs I've been doing. What about you?"

"I think I might have some, too."

"Good, good." She patted his hands. "See, I'm a game show junkie. I have tapes of almost every program on TV, and the ones I don't have, I can get. We're gonna need to know everything about everything. Quiz shows, endurance shows, obstacle courses, guessing games. And I know a great gym we can train you at."

"Training? Quiz shows? But I thought we were just going to--"

"One step at a time, pal," Paulina snickered. "Consider me your game show coach. By the time you make it to Shock 'Til You Drop, you'll be more god than man. If you're prepared to give me a year of your life…"

She grinned terribly.

"I promise you that you'll bring Bob Sparker to his knees."

#the game show killer #electricopolis #paulina sweet #giuseppe amar #spoiler ahead in the next tag #sam gale

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mostly-mundane-atla · 3 years

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@gayfertilitygoddess i've thought about it pretty extensively. Before I got popular-ish for being a real life eskimo in the fandom, i made a passing coment about the headcanon and it was my most requested topic until people started asking more cultural questions (names and language-related questions seem to be more popular now).

Funnily enough, and I do try to keep this blog otherwise drama free, this was springboarding off of discussions about headcanons with Jin in sex work, which got an absolute brat calling me a "pathetic, sexist loser" in a reblog of the post. I kept it off the main tag and tagged it "sex work mention" (as I do with all of these posts) so I have no idea how she found it to make gross accusations at me. I reblogged to say that her insisting that objective discussions of sex work were inherently slut-shaming was really hurtful as someone who had to consider it from a young age (home isn't always safe and favors/cash are useful at -30°F, we'll just leave it at that). She sent me asks to say that she "didn't mean to be hurtful" but also wouldn't apologize for what she said. She didn't have a damn thing to say about headcanon'ing Jet resorting to sex work, despite it having much more to do with his personality and the way he presents himself than with Jin, where it was entirely about her circumstances as someone in the poor side of a big city. She's since been blocked.

But yeah, Jet's most marketable asset to civilians who just want to escape violence is his charisma. His own comments and Smellerbee's suggest he promised that he'd stop fighting and stealing for the time being. He tells Zuko-as-Lee that "We [outcasts] have to watch each other's backs. Because no one else will." Zuko had his uncle to be his rock and managed to rely on the kindness of strangers when he went on his own. Jet had two friends whom he felt responsible for as their leader. We don't even get canon confirmation that he's fully literate. All of these things combined make finding any kind of employment very difficult, and that doesn't even take into consideration that he can't set down roots. He's trying to get to safety. He can't be obligated to stay in any one place that isn't his destination. There aren't a lot of options.

I feel like this would add to him needing to get out of territory that could be occupied by thee Fire Nation, given the comics explained that Firelord Sozin was a homophobe and worked that into the law. "You know what they've done to boys like me this past century," Jet would probably say. "And those were the ones on their own side." I can't imagine it wouldn't add to the amatanormative mess I write between him and Smellerbee. He shouldn't have to do this at all let alone by himself, and she tries to offer to help, to pitch in, but he scolds her for it so harshly that she cries. He apologizes later and and tells her she needs to just let him worry about it. Girls are supposed to like it when boys are fiercely protective and self-sacrificing, right?

Another thing about this headcanon is sex workers do and historically have done a lot more than most people tend to think. It's one of the reasons phrases like "selling their body" are grossly inaccurate. There is a lot of emotional labor involved. Some people who hire sex workers do so mostly for the company. Not in an "ahem [*eyebrow wiggle*] company, if you catch my meaning [*wink*]" way, like just actually having another human being in the room. Talking, smiling, laughing at their jokes. People get lonely, so it's only natural to pay someone for intimacy. Sometimes, more often than you might assume, they end up using that time more for emotional intimacy than physical intimacy. Sometimes that's the intention.

I wrote a scene with a situation like that. Jet is hired by an old widow because she claims he looks just like her husband did when they were that young. She holds his hand and kisses his cheek, laughing about how that was the farthest the old man had let her get before they were married, and asks him to help her make dinner. She sings and talks about how they used to walk by the river and how handsome he was, how very shy. At some point she stops saying "he" and starts saying "you," addressing Jet as if he was the man she married all those years ago.

"Am I still pretty?" she asks absentmindedly. "Am I as pretty as you'd say I'd be with lines on my face, a hunched back, and hair like clouds?"

"Of course," Jet says. "You're beautiful."

And she looks at him, but that seems to shatter the illusion. She mentions something about making too much food. That she hadn't had to cook that much since.... Silence. The sad kind that seems to suggest another tragedy. She tells him he should take some for his friends and thanks him for all he's done.

(There was also an OC concept I had who was a gay sex worker sharing his home with queer artist friends at the tail end of Firelord Sozin's reign, but this post is already long enough)

#sex work mention #keeping this off the main tag so i don't corrupt anyone #congrats on unlocking my oldest special interest #i could talk about this for hours #and will given half the chance

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xiu21chen99 · 4 years

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hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

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the-al-chemist · 3 years

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When Stars Ignite - Chapter 6

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N:

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Language.

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @lifeofkaze

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @night-rhea @carewyncromwell

I don't give a damn about my reputation

I've never been afraid of any deviation

And I don't really care if you think I'm strange

I ain't gonna change

And I'm never gonna care about my bad reputation

~ Bad Reputation - Joan Jett ~

“Shit, shit, shit,” Artemis muttered to herself as she ran through the crowds at North Greenwich station. She was late again.

“Where do you think you’re going, girlie?” the man at the front desk called after her as she darted past him to the door which led to the auditorium.

She ignored him, and kept on running, pulling the door open and-

“Ow!”

“Sorry,” Artemis panted, looking up to see who she had just crashed into as they walked out of the door she was trying to enter. As she recognised the freckled face of her victim, her heart sank like a stone.

“There you are,” said Charlie, the former pyrotechnician, rubbing the spot where Artemis had just made impact with his torso. “I thought maybe you were just going to not turn up.”

“You hoped, you mean.”

“Not at all.”

Artemis narrowed her eyes at him, trying to gage whether or not he was being sincere. She couldn’t tell.

“Well, here I am,” she said. “Will you take me to KC? I have to go through a couple of things on my contract before I can sign it.”

“Have you not signed your contract?” asked Charlie.

“No, there’s a couple of things I need to go through first. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Actually, it is entirely my business, I am your supervisor, after all.”

“But KC is my employer. And I want to discuss things with her, not with you.”

“Sadly, that’s not going to be possible,” Charlie said. He held the door open, and gestured for Artemis to go through it, which she did, after rolling her eyes and letting out an angry sigh. “KC isn’t in this morning. She asked me to go through everything with you.”

“But-”

“Look,” said Charlie, sounding as if he was trying to be diplomatic, “I’ll see if it’s anything I can help with, and if not, I’ll call KC. Alright?”

Artemis pursed her lips, and wordlessly followed Charlie into the green room, where she had been interviewed the day before. She sat down on the chair she had taken for the interview.

“So,” Charlie said, sitting opposite Artemis on a sofa, a large, square-shaped coffee table between them, “what’s the issue with your contract?”

“The contract is for the whole length of the tour.”

“That is how these things tend to work.”

“Yeah, but it says that I’m going to be working under supervision for the whole length of the tour,” Artemis explained, leaning back in her seat, her arms folded in front of her. “I don’t need that much supervision. I know what I’m doing, it’s just a box ticking exercise. I only want supervision for the two months I need to get signed off.”

“Alright,” Charlie shrugged. “I’ll leave you alone once you’ve done your two months.”

“And what if I leave after the two months is up, but before the tour ends?”

Charlie frowned at her.

“Are you planning on leaving before the tour ends?” he asked her.

“I’m not planning anything,” replied Artemis. “I just don’t want to end up in the same position as I did in my last job, that’s all.”

“Right,” Charlie didn’t stop frowning. “You do realise that after your two months are up, there’s only a few weeks of the tour left, don’t you?”

“Yes. But I still want to know that if-”

“If you finish your two months, I will sign you off, regardless of whether you complete your contract.”

“Exactly.”

“No, I mean that I will sign you off, regardless,” Charlie nodded, just once.

“Good,” said Artemis. She didn’t relax. “I’d like that in writing before I sign.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I don’t have the ability to amend your contract,” Charlie replied. “But you can take this as a verbal agreement. I’ll sign you off. You have my word.”

Artemis made a derisive noise to let Charlie know exactly what she thought of his word. Charlie didn’t react.

“Either you accept the verbal agreement and sign, or you go home and come back tomorrow when KC’s here,” he said, shortly. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and held it out to Artemis. “Up to you.”

“Fine,” muttered Artemis. She snatched the pen from his hand, picked her bag off the floor, pulled out her contract, and signed it. She handed it to Charlie with a sullen expression on her face, and he took it from her.

“Looks like we are stuck with each other,” he said, with a good-natured smile. Artemis scowled at him. “Now I just have to ask you to disclose any criminal record you may have in writing. Just red tape, you know how it is.”

Slowly and deliberately, still maintaining eye contact with him, Artemis put her hand once more into her bag. She raised her eyebrows, and the corners of Charlie’s mouth twitched slightly.

Still staring at him, Artemis drew a sealed white envelope from her bag and placed it on the table in front of him. The smirk immediately slipped from Charlie’s face, his eyes widened, and his eyebrows shot up so far they looked like they might disappear into his hairline.

“Alrighty then,” he said, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “As your supervisor and line manager, I have to tell you that none of us are allowed to open that, or try and find out about what’s inside. The only way we will know what’s written inside that envelope is if you choose to divulge that information, which you are under no obligation to do.”

“In which case, I won’t,” said Artemis.

“That’s your prerogative,” Charlie shrugged. He stood up and collected Artemis’ contract and white envelope, placing them in a folder on the counter next to the coffee machine. He held out his hand for Artemis to shake, which she did not do. “Yeah, alright. Come on, let’s introduce you to the band. I’m guessing you know their music?”

“No,” Artemis rolled her eyes, “I’ve been living in a cave for the past six years.”

In truth, Artemis had been listening to Equinox’s music since they first started their rise to fame. She had seen one of their first ever gigs at the Electric Ballroom in Camden, and been in the crowd at Glastonbury six years earlier when they played the festival for the first time. They had been the breakout stars of the weekend, and ever since, they had been climbing to the top, single by single, album by album, tour by tour.

She hadn’t done much in the way of research before she took the job - after all, everyone knew about Equinox - but since she had decided to apply, she had been paying attention whenever she came across newspaper and magazine articles about them. She had followed the increasingly outrageous exploits of frontman Jason Everett; read about the friendship between bassist Skye Parkin and drummer Lizzie Jameson; and learned all about the childhood struggles of keyboardist Merula Snyde and songwriter and lead guitarist Orion Amari. She knew how the band had formed, the music they had made, and where they were planning on going next.

As for where they were right now, Artemis was about to find out. She and Charlie left the green room, and he led her down a long narrow corridor behind the stage. Raised voices could be heard from one of the rooms leading off from the corridor, outside which stood a familiar looking blonde woman.

“They all in there, Erika?” Charlie asked the head of security, his eyebrows furrowing.

“What gave that away?” replied Erika. She gave Charlie a knowing look. “Ethan called a meeting.”

“Ah.”

The only Ethan they could have been referring to was Ethan Parkin, former frontman of The Wanderers. Of course, Artemis thought suddenly, as the manager of his daughter’s band, he would also be joining the tour.

“You decided to take the job, then?” Erika asked, turning to Artemis. She really was very tall, even taller than Artemis’ new supervisor. Artemis nodded her head, and Erika smiled. “That’s good. It’s great to have another woman around backstage.”

“Let’s let the new girl have one day on the job before we all start hitting on her,” said Charlie, shaking his head. He seemed to be oblivious to the very dark look Artemis was giving him.

“That’s not what I meant, Weasley,” Erika crossed her arms. “If that’s worrying you, maybe leave introducing the band until tomorrow. You know what Ev is like.”

“Maybe we should leave it until tomorrow anyway,” Charlie frowned and glanced at the door, behind which a heated discussion was obviously still taking place. “I don’t want to disturb whatever that is.”

“Go ahead and disturb them,” Erika told him. “They’ve been at it for ages. They could do with a distraction.”

Her eyes drifted towards Artemis, whose face hardened at being deemed ‘a distraction’. Slowly, Charlie nodded his head, and raised his fist to the door. He knocked, and the voices behind it fell silent.

“Come in,” a man’s voice called out, after a few moments of hushed quiet.

Charlie pushed the door open, and Artemis followed him through to a large dressing room, the walls of which were lined with mirrors and old band posters and crushed velvet sofas. The room was a decent size, but it felt crowded, partly because of the number of people, and partly because of the thick, tense atmosphere hanging in the room like a shroud.

“Sorry to bother you,” said Charlie, smiling in a calm, good-natured way. Artemis couldn’t tell if he was ignoring the tension in the room or if he genuinely hadn’t noticed it.

“Not at all,” said one of the women, smiling and getting up from her perch on the arm of one of the sofas, and practically running over towards them, her brown ponytail bouncing as she did. Artemis recognised the woman immediately: it was Lizzie Jameson, the band’s drummer. “It’s fantastic to see you, Charlie.”

Lizzie Jameson wrapped her arms around Charlie’s shoulders, and he returned her hug. She whispered something into his ear that Artemis couldn’t hear, and as she let him go, one of her hands stayed resting on his upper arm. Artemis kept her face as passive as she could.

“I only saw you this morning, sunshine,” Charlie laughed. He pulled his arm away from Lizzie’s hand and draped it around her shoulders. Artemis tried to stop herself from rolling her eyes, and was almost completely successful. “I just came in to introduce you all to my new assistant” - Artemis sighed at the word ‘assistant’ - “Artemis Hexley. She’s hopefully going to take over from me properly once she’s completed her training.”

Artemis opened her mouth, ready to tell Charlie exactly what she thought about being referred to as his assistant, exactly how much ‘training’ she felt that she needed, and exactly what she made of him, but before she could say anything, Lizzie Jameson jumped in.

“That’s great!” she said, with more enthusiasm than could possibly have been genuine. “It’s really nice to meet you. My name’s Lizzie, I’m the percussionist. I really like your jacket, by the way, it’s so pretty. Where’s it from?” Artemis didn’t have a chance to answer Lizzie’s question before she continued speaking, barely stopping to breathe. “You know, I can’t believe that we’ve finally found someone to take over the pyros who’s actually suited for the job. Charlie here’s been working himself to the bone doing sound as well. You just let me know if he gives you a hard time, okay?”

“Like I’d do a thing like that,” muttered Charlie, and Lizzie poked him playfully between the ribs.

“I mean it,” she continued, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Artemis stared at her hand blankly. “Any problems, you tell me. I’ll deal with him for you.”

“Thanks,” said Artemis, shrugging Lizzie’s hand off her shoulder and giving the percussionist a smile that was more like a grimace, “but I am perfectly capable of dealing with my own problems. I don’t need a babysitter.”

Lizzie fell quiet, and averted her eyes from Artemis. She looked up at Charlie, who in turn lowered his gaze to the floor. Artemis exhaled, and turned her attention to the rest of the room’s occupants.

The two Parkins, Ethan and Skye, the latter with messy blue hair scraped back from her face, were stood in one corner, still muttering to each other under their breath. In the other, the unmistakable eyes - such a deep shade of blue they looked almost violet - of keyboardist Merula Snyde stared at Artemis with a scathing, mistrustful expression that Artemis returned, before looking over towards the two male band members.

Orion Amari, the guitarist, nodded his head serenely at Artemis, before lowering his eyes to a notebook laid open on the sofa next to him. He started to write something, his shoulder-length dark hair falling forward as he bent over to do so. Jason Everett, like Merula, was staring at Artemis, but his expression was neither scathing nor mistrustful. Artemis made an effort to not shrink into her clothes or cover herself with her arms as she glared back at him.

“Smile, love,” he said, with a wink and a grin, “it might never happen.”

The look Artemis gave him grew harder, angrier. Orion Amari lifted his eyes from his notebook and flicked them between the two of them.

“A smile is not something that can be conjured on request. It is a blessing to be earned,” he said, his voice soft. “For now, Artemis' presence in itself must be blessing enough for us all.”

“Are you taking the piss?” Artemis asked him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. In the corner of the room, Merula smirked.

“I am not,” Orion bowed his head, returning to his notebook. “We were in need of a pyrotechnician, and now, here you are.”

“And you were certainly blessed with much better looks than the last one,” said Everett. He winked again, but this time, the gesture was aimed at Charlie. “Nice work, mate.”

In her peripheral vision, Artemis saw Charlie shake his head, and she heard him exhale.

“What Ev wants to say is,” said Lizzie, removing herself from underneath his arm and walking to the centre of the room, a forced breeziness to her voice. “It really is great to meet you, Artemis.”

“You said that already.”

“Because it’s true,” Lizzie turned to the other two women in the room. “Isn’t that right?”

Merula looked from Lizzie to Artemis and back again, before rolling her unusual coloured eyes. She didn’t utter a word. Skye looked over from the whispered conversation she was still having with her father, and made eye contact with Artemis for the first time.

“Yeah, smashing, absolutely” she said, then looked away again. “Right, sounds like we’ve got a lot of work to do. I’d say let’s crack on with it”

“Skye’s right,” Ethan nodded, addressing the band. “We really need to get to work. Pleasure to meet you, Alexis.”

“Artemis,” Artemis corrected him, but he was already too busy talking to Jason Everett to notice.

Charlie cleared his throat awkwardly, and smiled at Artemis as he gestured to the door. Artemis followed him back out into the corridor, which they walked down side by side, not looking at each other.

“I’m sorry about that,” said Charlie, eventually breaking their silence. “They’re not usually that-”

“Twattish?”

“I was going to say ‘on edge’, but I can see how they might have come across as a bit unwelcoming.”

“I don’t care,” Artemis replied. “I’m not here to make friends.”

“Yeah, you made that pretty clear when you spoke to Liz,” Charlie said. Artemis scoffed, and the two of them were quiet again for a moment before Charlie added, in a quiet voice, “and to me.”

Artemis said nothing. Charlie sighed, and ran one hand through his hair, frowning. Then, he nodded his head.

“Alright, then. If that’s the way you want it to be, why don’t we go and look at the igniters? You can show me how you wired them yesterday.”

Artemis’ face softened slightly, and she nodded her assent. Finally, she thought. At least there was something here she felt completely comfortable with.

#when stars ignite #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hphm fic #hphm rockstar au #rockstar au #artemis hexley #charlie weasley #erika rath #lizzie jameson #orion amari #skye parkin #merula snyde

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frogcook · 3 years

Note

"Er, h-hello Theo-san! I was wondering if you would be able to make kalua pig. It's a dish native to my hometown, just a little village boarded by the Coral Sea. T-Truth be told, I've been feeling a little homesick lately, a-and I need a little pick me up since work at the lounge has been so stressful... b-but please don't feel pressured to or anything! I wouldn't want to trouble you!" - a stuttering Octa A-kun

(Reminder to watch watchers Dish Granted)

"D'awwww, take it easy lil' guy, dunno what your employers are doing to you but you're always welcome here."

The mention of homesickness had also struck a chord within Theo. After sitting the student down he started to look up kalua pig on his phone.

"Truth be told I miss home too… see ya ain't alone! It's no biggie to do this for you. Anything to close that space between your heart."

He gave the student a hearty thump on his back, although he may have underestimated his fragility just a bit.

"Oops sorry! Haha I forget my own strength sometimes… Anyways! It seems relatively simple although I don't really have an underground oven… and uh, do you mind waiting here for 16 hours?"

Even if he can't see the student's face he can tell that's a no.

"Hey hey it's not a bother! Not a bother at all! We'll think of something I'm sure!"

Oh no he messed up didn't he? Now he's upset and oh god what's Theo going to do? A head pat, that's what he's going to do.

"Don't be upset now… Because I have an idea. You're from Night Raven right? They only accept the best of the best, so that means you're one of the best! So, I'll need your help alright?"

After seeing the student's eyes light up behind his bangs, Theo returned it with a warm smile.

"Sorry for making you work ahead of your hours… But uhm- it's relatively simple, in a way. Y'know that thing scientists use to replicate aging? It's kinda like that but magic. Normally it would be a heavy load on one person but since you're here you can probably help. It may make you feel tired if you're up to the task."

"Nothing I'm not used to…"

"Huh? Get some rest after this alright? I'll show that good for nothin' boss how to treat their employees correctly…"

Most unlike his normal demeanor he took on a grumpy face before realizing he may be scaring his guest.

"Ahahaha don't worry about it! Sit down and relax, it's your time off!"

With a brief session of washing his hands, it was off to the pantry! Or the fridge since there was some pork butt hidden around the back. He didn't know what to do with it until now. Using a carving fork, he would poke holes all over, though the force put into them seems slightly more violent than normal. While slathering the meat with salt and sauces he chirped up with his own thoughts.

"What's the village like? It sounds homely. Did ya see any of the merpeople? It's really interesting how diverse life is huh. Oh you surf? That's awesome! I'd love to see it one day."

The conversation had whittled the empty space in between and it was onto the next step.

"And would you look at that it's time! Stand by the slow cooker over there and I'll show you what to do."

After setting the meat inside the slow cooker and a quick session of sanitation, Theo took out a ladle with a green gem embedded.

"Silly, I know but hey practical! How about a little practice alright? It's just like aging and lighting something on fire! Slowly!"

Well that was very reassuring, but he has no time to think about his poor word choice! He set out an apple on the table and tapped it with the gem of his ladle. With the passing of a few seconds the apple started to heat up and age a little past it's prime.

"My condolences to this apple, but you saw that right? It's a combination of fire and time. Try to recreate it alright? This small amount won't do much harm, I think."

He sat down another apple and gave the mob student a reassuring smile. He shyly tapped the apple and surprisingly got it on the first try! Hooray! Although that joy would wither away just as the apple had because oh god it's on fire.

"Oops oops! Oh no not again-"

Theo recklessly cupped tap water from the sink and splattered it over the apple. Along with the floorboards and table.

"Okay that was on me, we should've done this outside. That was great though, although maaaaaybe you went a little overboard. Something on your mind? This is telling me that you're not having the best time. Oh and don't worry about the slow cooker, let's just say it can take the heat."

After Theo had cleaned up, he would sit him and his guest by the slow cooker.

"Alright so just tap your gem on the meat before I close it, I'll do it too. We have to keep a steady flow of magic, strong emotions could throw it off."

Gentle taps of the pork and off to hell it goes!

"We're gonna be here for an hour or so. Conversation can aid this process, mostly because the flow of feelings will be constant. So tell me about yourself! I'll talk about myself too if it helps."

And so the shadowy student started a stream of words. From his time by that quaint little village to the hell known as Night Raven College. Anger, sadness, and happiness, all apparent in his words. All the while, Theo was listening patiently.

The best part of it all, none of it threw off the flow! He must have been keeping his cool because of the meat.

"Hah! I get ya, I had to work 2 jobs before, the managers were nice because I was a kid n' all. Couldn't thank them enough. But your manager… is a kid like you? Huh? I take back what I said before, I'm going straight to his parents. It's always your old folks that influence you the most y'know? Yours have raised a mighty fine young man."

Theo gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. The student had given a bashful smile before looking away.

"Don't be so modest now! Work hard and you'll go places I promise. And grades aren't everything, work isn't everything. Sure they might help and you gotta do your best. But this is your life, live it how you want to. And live it with pride. You aren't anyone's servant, got that? Your hard work is for you and you only!"

The ding of the cooker had indicated the end of their wait. Theo pulled the plug and carefully removed the pig onto a platter. He took a fork and started tearing into it, creating several juicy shreds of meat. With a few extra garnishes and sauces, it was finally ready.

"Your dish has been granted! Good job on the meat, even if it was a lil' overcooked, I think it makes it better! You've got skill, just keep working at it. What matters is that you keep going, not that you stand out. And please rest after this. I think I will too- only after I eat this with you! May or may not have made 12 servings but you can take it all-"

#twst oc #Theo's dish granted #Theo Kimathi #twisted wonderland

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fan-of-fandoms-123 · 4 years

Text

You Would Think A Vampire Would Be A Better Flirt (Max Phillips/*Female*Reader)

A/N: Here it is. The first fanfiction I've ever published and/or posted to a platform. Enjoy!

Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Ship: Max Phillips/*Female*Reader

Warnings: Fluff, smut, fluff and smut, friends to idiots to lovers, Max and Pedro are their own warnings

"So... what is it that I'm looking at exactly?", asked Amanda as she sat idly at her desk, the young woman surrounded by the four walls of her small, cozy office that acted as a sort of border between Human Resources and the rest of the floor that was dedicated to Sales. The room was bland at a first glance, a very typical space really, the kind of one someone would be able to find anywhere in the corporate world without evening having to look at all, it would just be there: walls painted a neutral shade of beige with a tad bit of simple white molding, four fluorescent lights mounted into the ceiling to provide proper, optimal lighting, no windows (as to eliminate visual distractions and maintain climate control according to the office security guard, Frank), a plain yet sturdy desk and chair somewhere between being in the center and off to the side of the space, one slightly used, slightly outdated computer, and a few framed photographs of Amanda's friends and family scattered around the space on those otherwise naked walls and atop her rather bare desk by her desktop. Oh, and right in front of her door stood a large chalkboard she recognized as the one from the main conference room, covered in scribbles and lists and what appeared to be charts and graphs she could barely decipher. That wasn't exactly normal to put it simply, not even usual considering the new normal of the office since the shift in management, and neither was the fact that her two coworkers, her fiance Evan and his best friend Tim, stood on either side of the offsetting chalkboard, both men yammering on almost nonsensically about what she could only assume was a subject that was in some way related to their boss. The "Head Vampire" as Tim called him, Max.

"Amanda, I love you, and you got to listen to us! Max was telling us earlier in the break room about other supernatural creatures out there... and I think my dad might be a werewolf! I mean, what if that means I'm a werewolf, or my mom, and what if werewolves try and-", Evan went on rambling before the woman he loved stopped him, holding out a hand for him to halt his words as she pinched the bridge of her nose and simply gave Tim a look that said "Don't start either.", in which he promptly shut his mouth before sound ever escaped past his lips. "Babe... Evan, before we consider the possibility that maybe, maybe your father, a man I've met and spent holidays with several times along with your mom is by any stretch of the word a werewolf, maybe we can consider the option that Max is just saying all of that to fuck with you? I mean yeah, we all know your dad is pretty hairy, and you have a photo on your desk of the three of you in front of their house so... he could have noticed it and just wanted to mess with you knowing how you and Tim have become Ghostbusters lately.", Amanda deadpanned rather nonchalantly as she leaned back into her seat and let her words hopefully sink in for the two. After a few moments it seemed as if they did, thankfully, and Evan's expression was just about turning into one of both realization and anger at his former college rival when, because of course he did, Max passed by the trio and the conspiracy board and did an immediate double take at the sight.

"Um... what's- Hehe, what's happening in here? Hangman... pictionary maybe, because I don't remember it being any special day to slack off, especially for you three.", the sales manager chuckled, his tone the epitome of false amusement that was common of men and women in his seat of power, and even a tiny hint of resentment, but that wasn't necessarily unfounded. Granted, Max had just about every reason to hate Evan, Amanda, Tim, Frank, and just about all of the humans left that worked for him for what had transpired the day the three men had figured out that the new sales manager was, as Tim put it from that day onward, the "Head Vampire" among the coup of undead bloodsuckers that had once been their annoying coworkers. Let's just say that they lost a lot of staff that afternoon, and the cleaning staff worked overtime. "Ah... nothing, Max. Evan and Tim were just about to scrub that board off from the last Phallicite meeting, weren't they?", Amanda quickly answered before either one of her lovable idiots could say something to piss off their employer, and she was beyond relieved to see the lie work as Max relaxed with a shrug of his shoulders and turned to leave back to his office.

You know... for a vampire, Amanda would have guessed Max could sense when there was something approaching or in his way, but it looked as though she was wrong.

"Fu- shit, Y/N, I am so sorry! Fuck, do- do you need any help with that?", Max sputtered out quickly, dare Amanda even say nervously as she observed her boss kneel down to help one of the new hires, Y/N, pick up and hopefully reorganize the stack of papers and files regarding the company accounts that had just recently been landed. "Don't worry, Max, it was an honest mistake.", she smiled, kneeling down with him and giving his shoulder a squeeze of reassurance, and Amanda was once again perplexed when Max froze up. She never thought she'd see the day that Max Phillips was a shy, lost for words pile of goo, but it was happening right inside her office, and it was honestly entertaining.

"Max... you have like a thing for Y/N or something?" Tim asked quizzically of the vampire, only to recieve a cold look from their boss as he realized his own show of weakness after the woman in question had left to her cubicle. "I could still turn you. Or eat you.", was his only response before leaving for his office, but yes. He certainly did.

A/N: Well, I hope you liked this, that's all i can really think of to say!

Tagged: @spacegayofficial

Part 1 of the "Max Phillips: The Average Flirt" Series

#Pedro Pascal #Bloodsucking Bastards #Max Phillps #Max Phillips x Reader

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luna-memoria · 5 years

Text

Reposting because my hand slipped and deleted the whole friggin' post ahhhhh

Anyways have this KaiAo police AU I've had lying around for months.

Honestly, Aoko didn't expect Kaitou KID to turn up despite having agreed to.

She'd been sitting in the corner Starbucks of the street near her house for the past ten minutes, which was precisely twenty minutes before her agreed meeting time with KID. She figured it'll be a good idea to check out the place for any suspicious activity, despite being quite sure the person in question wouldn't pull anything funny for the sake of his silly honor or something, but that idea seemed pretty extra when a man holding a cup of hot chocolate call strolling up next to her. The name on his cup said 'Katsuki', a name that put a smirk on her face.

"There's still quite some time before one o'clock, you know," she said, scanning the man thoroughly.

"Now now. It wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me to let a lovely lady wait, would it?" commented the man - Kaitou KID - with a slightly apologetic tone. "I didn't make you wait long, did I?"

She shook her head, amused. "I just arrived earlier than you. Please take a seat."

"So. Anything you're interested in knowing?" he asked first thing upon plopping down into his seat. A grin. "I'm pretty certain this isn't just a normal date to ask about my life in the past four years, Aoko-chan~~"

Aoko gave him her best glare, but chose to say nothing. She was an adult, for crying out loud. Not that same high school student who gets pissed at every little thing KID does to get a reaction out of her. Yes, she can handle this maturely like an adult.

"You can say there's something I want to ask you," she said, fingers fumbling as they wrapped around her paper cup and brought it up to her face. Yes, the fresh scent of coffee was exactly what needed to keep her sane and cool. She eyed his attire. It was one of his more casual 'disguises', if she could even call it one. He wore a fine dark green jacket over a black turtleneck and jeans, accompanied by glasses and a cap. She wanted to make some kind of statement, something to make fun of his disguise, but it somehow did a good job of securing his identity, so it didn't seem right to say such a thing. Maybe it had something to do with experience of using the same freaking disguise for years without fail.

Too immersed in thought, she didn't realize her intense gaze placed on the thief before her. He had to wave to get her out of her brief daze.

"Is that cup of yours gonna be hauled at me if I say something that upsets you?" he asked with a pointed finger.

She smirked. "Depends. Are you gonna say something that will upset me?"

"Well, I hardly know what will upset you, Nakamori-san." He shrugged.

"Lies," she offered. "I'd hate those, when I had to go through all this trouble to contact you for this date."

His eyes darted up at her, she noticed, no thanks to the thick shades casted on his face by the cap. Reading people was what Aoko considered to be her talent, an ability she gained in hopes of becoming more understanding of her best friend who always tried to fool her with some stupid 'poker face'-

No. This was not a good time to think of him of all people. She was on an important mission right now, which, even if the police force didn't know, might have something to do with the criminal group they've been investigating for months but failed to get any leads on. This… this was a good chance for her to shine, and possibly clear up the business she had with KID, from her high school years. Even if she knew she had next to zero chance of ever capturing him, she wanted to know his secret- the mystery behind his persona. He was not just some thief who seemed attention or money, and her experiences with criminals so far told her that some had stories behind their actions.

She wanted to know the story that made KID decide to keep on his facade for so many years.

"You can rest assured then. I wouldn't come all the way here to lie to you."

"Then I expect you will answer whatever questions I have with honesty."

"You sound like a mom talking to her child, if I'm being honest."

She glared.

"Okay, okay. Ask away. I'll give you whatever info I can give."

Now, that asked for a direct question. "What is your motive for returning?"

He frowned. "Pardon?"

"There's a reason for your return, I'm sure. After disappearing for four whole years. I want to know that reason."

"And here I thought you were going to ask me something related to the… well, object of your investigations."

"That'll be for later."

"If you say so," he said, leaning back and stretching his legs lazily as he took a sip of his drink. "I was just there to work, which I can't see why you would interest yourself in."

"I want to know."

"…I'm sure you've noticed that I've stopped with those dazzling heists of mine?"

"Yes. I probably wouldn't have learnt of your return if I didn't run into you at the crime scene the other day."

"I was on duty, collecting data for someone."

"As in?"

"My employer."

She huffed, crossing her arms. "That does not answer my question."

"I told you I'd answer what I could. The name of my employer is one of the things I couldn't disclose to anyone. Don't most jobs have this common rule saying 'keep each client's info secret' or something?"

"Fine then. What were you doing then? I suppose you are allowed to tell me the events of your job?"

"You know what politicians love the most, Nakamori-san?"

"What?" she narrowed her eyes, surprised by the sudden turn of conversation. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's the best description I can give you regarding my activities near your job site."

"Wait. You're not telling me you now work to collect blackmail for politicians, are you?!" Aoko exclaimed in a sharp whisper, self-conscious of the few stares they were starting to earn from the surrounding customers. She wondered if she should have picked a more private space after all, but who knew when the suspicious character from back then at the crime scene was gonna make his return? She didn't know if the person - whoever he was - was a threat at all, but she had a bad feeling that something bad was happening in due time, and she didn't want to risk anything.

"You think so highly of me, Nakamori-san," he said, tone tainted with sarcasm. "I hardly think politicians would trust a thief like me to do their dirty work - if they could even afford my services in the first place." Noting how Aoko didn't respond, he continued. "I was in the bar that night. I don't know if you police inspectors know this, but there was a meeting between two gun smugglers - Kurosawa and Kaizaki - last night somewhere in Shibuya."

Aoko nodded. "I think I've heard something of the sort."

"I happen to know this Kurosawa always meets up with his lover in this bar, and he always tells her everything - and I mean it when I say everything." KID produced a feather in his hands all of a sudden, fiddling with it in a way Aoko thought she recognized. Maybe all magicians have that habit, she thought. "My quest was to record everything and send it to my employer, which was a fairly simple task, as the guy completely lost his cautiousness with that woman."

He paused briefly, fingers still playing with the feather. "It's funny how easy it was get that info with just a woman. To think that man was considered one of the hardest criminals to track down…" Aoko raised an eyebrow at his out-of-the-place sentence, but cleared her throat preparing for her next question.

"I see. From what I understand, you're being paid to gather info about someone who happens to be one of the most difficult criminals around."

"You can say that."

"What are you, doing that kind of thing?"

"I'm fairly sure there was a character like that in that favorite detective series of yours, wasn't there?" KID remarked with a smile, his grip on the feather tightened. He turned his gaze back to Aoko, which made her shy away as a result.

"And how would you know what detective series I like?"

"Oh? I was fairly certain, you seem like the type to read Holmes."

"Never mind that. It's none of your concern."

"You are correct, but I thought you may be the one to be concerned, seeing I'm talking about the very man the great detective called the worst man in London."

"I believe you are talking about The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton," she replied. "It's one of my favorite stories in the series."

"So I guess that adds to the list of things I know about you, hm?"

"The tiny list of things you know about me," she snarled.

"Fine, fine, geesh. You're still as fiery as I remember, Nakamori-san, except that you're a police detective now. Should I call you Inspector Nakamori for the nostalgia-"

"Don't. Don't mention my father, he's not supposed to be involved in all this mess after everything you've put him through over the years."

"That's… fair." He didn't say anything besides that, and the sudden silence spooked Aoko a little, since KID was always joking and making cheesy remarks every chance he could when they interacted. Seeing him at a loss of words didn't feel as good as she'd thought it would be.

Deciding to steer the conversation back on it's original direction, Aoko spoke first, breaking the brief silence. "So. Milverton, huh? I never thought a day would come where I'd associate the great Kaitou KID with a character like him."

A Cheshire grin spread across the thief's face once again, and Aoko almost smacked herself for feeling the slightest bit of relief. That relief was gone instantly though as he purred, "Great Kaitou KI-"

KID paused his tracks, noting Aoko's expression. His face sunk (at the loss of a chance to mess with her, probably).

"Well, I don't think this Milverton character is deserving of all this hate you put in. In fact, I think he's pretty smart, using secrets of other people to make money…"

"Like you apparently do now? Is that why you compared yourself to him?"

"I'm not all bad, Nakamori-san, contrast to your belief. Sure I sell secrets, but not the kind your character would be interested in. I'd collect that if I were paparazzi…" He stopped, like the mere thought of that scared him (or excited him, she couldn't really tell.) "… But the information I come across usually results in the deforming of illegal groups, arrests of smugglers and so. You can call me a spy… or something along the lines of that."

"As if you'd be so noble," she scoffed, more out of habit than actual scorn. It has never affected him much before when she did it in high school, so why would he be bothered by it now?

Her assumptions were proved wrong however, as KID lowered his face, bitterness fading back into his voice.

"Perhaps I've always been, it's just that you refuse to see it for yourself, Nakamori-san."

That… was out of the blue. Aoko didn't know what she could say to respond - an acknowledgement? That probably wouldn't help much in a situation as awkward as the one before her, so she just spat what the usual, fiery her would say.

"I know exactly what I see."

"If you insist." He hopped off his comfy spot on the couch, grabbing his keys and coffee cup from the table. Aoko knew for sure her words caused discomfort in him, but there wasn't anything she could do to stop him.

There goes her chance to gather more information.

What was she going to do to track down a new lead?

"Wait! I'm not done with my questions yet-!"

He eyed her sideways, "there's always next time."

She was almost certain he was going to leave, but no, not yet.

Much to her surprise, KID stopped by her and pulled her close enough to whisper in her ear. "Oh, and Nakamori-san? Not all spies have noble intentions. Thought you had the right to know, seeing that there's one like that right in your department."

He pulled away, a fake smile visible on his face. "And that'll be all for today! I look forward to your next date together, Aoko-chan!" he exclaimed cheerily, giving her a small salute as he skipped out of the cafe.

It took her a whole minute to precess his words, and the conclusion she got wasn't one she liked.

#dcmk #detective conan #magic kaito #aoko nakamori #kaito kuroba #kaitou kid #kaiao #my writing #uhhhh #my art #i guess #not that there'll be an art tag on this blog but whatever #long post

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linskywords · 5 years

Note

Need some advice. I've been stuck in my undergrad studies. I'm about to graduate but I don't like what I've been studying for the past 4+ years, I feel like I wasted a lot of time, and I don't know what to do with my life after graduation. What would any character from the wolfverse (maybe Tyler?) do?

What a good question! Here is what Tyler would do:

He kind of hates this thing he studied. But he majored in it so he must not really hate it, right? So he gets a job in it at somewhere soulless and corporate.

He hates it so much. Every day is a struggle. He's counting minutes until five, and there are always way more minutes than he can imagine living through. He starts leaving home so late in the mornings that he can barely squeak into work on time, and then he starts showing up five or ten or fifteen minutes late and can't bring himself to do better. He starts hoping that something goes horribly wrong like his apartment floods or he gets pneumonia or breaks a leg or something just so he doesn't have to go into work that day.

It pays well, though, and it's a job in his field. Lots of his friends don't have jobs at all yet. This is what life is when it's going well and he should be happy with it and if he's not happy it's because something is wrong with him. He just needs to try harder.

He starts going out every night to forget how shitty and worthless he is. Sometimes he gets drunk enough that he picks up guys, and then he hates himself for that because of course he is also in denial about being gay.

There's this one guy, Jamie, who's always at this one club on Fridays, and Tyler spends two weeks noticing him and then one night dancing with him and they go back to Jamie's place and Jamie fucks him and it's so good. Tyler lies in his arms afterward and is afraid to go to sleep because he doesn't know when he'll get to feel good like this again.

He and Jamie hook up a few more times but Tyler obviously isn't going to date him or anything. Even if he were gay, Jamie probably dates people who have their life together, who are really the happy successful type of person Tyler's pretending to be, who never go into the stairwell at work and just stand there for a few minutes trying not to cry.

One Saturday when Tyler’s really hungover he stumbles out for food and on the way back he walks by this animal shelter with puppies in the window. He's not sure he's allowed to go in, but the door is open and there are balloons, so he goes in and gets to sit on the floor with the puppies for two hours and it's the best he's felt in a long time.

He starts coming to the shelter every Saturday. They aren't usually having an open house, but they let him walk the dogs and clean the cages and even give the animals food and meds. Sometimes when he's at work he sits at his desk when he's supposed to be doing Important Corporate Things and imagines that he's back at the shelter with the dogs, just petting them and finally feeling okay.

He starts messing up at work. He's pretty decent at the stuff he does but it's hard to get himself to pay attention to it and sometimes he misses important things. His bosses call him into their office and tell him that he has to do better, and he wants to crawl under the table and die.

That Friday Tyler drinks an extra lot and Jamie is there but he seems unhappy with him somehow, and Tyler wants to figure out why but he's too drunk and then it seems like Jamie doesn't even want to dance with him and Tyler feels so sick and he goes off to the bathroom to throw up and cry a little maybe. Then Jamie is THERE and he sees Tyler throwing up and being a mess and now he's gonna hate him and why can't there be even one thing in Tyler's life he doesn't fuck up for himself??

Jamie brings Tyler home and doesn't even want to fuck him, even though Tyler tries. But he puts Tyler to bed and lies there with him and it's kind of nice to just be held by Jamie, really nice actually, and Tyler ends up crying more and telling him how much he hates his job and how he'll have to go to it again on Monday and it ruins the whole weekend, knowing that. And Jamie seems really worried and says some nice stuff and holds Tyler close and Tyler doesn't deserve it but he lets himself pretend for a while.

When Tyler wakes up Jamie is gone, but there's a text on his phone that says, this is jamie--tell me if ur ok! And Tyler's really excited to see it for about half a minute but also it's really embarrassing that Jamie needed to do that. Tyler doesn't remember what he said last night super well, but he knows it was really bad and he goes hot-cold with shame every time he thinks about it. lol yeah just a weird night, im totes good he texts back. Then he takes some Advil and goes to play with the puppies and decides he’s going to be less of a mess.

Part of being less of a mess is not going to that club anymore where Jamie saw him fall apart but Friday afternoon his bosses yell at him again. Then he has two drinks and is like, fuck it, so he goes and Jamie doesn't shove him away when Tyler tries to dance with him and then they make out in an Uber and fuck twice at Jamie's place. Then in the morning Tyler is going to leave, but Jamie asks what he's up to that day and Tyler tells him about the dog thing and Jamie's like, can I come?? So Tyler takes Jamie to see the dogs and Jamie's so happy and Tyler looks at him in the middle of the floor, surrounded by dogs, and he just hurts knowing he’s not gonna feel like this for a whole ‘nother week.

So he goes up to the nice lady in charge of dogs and asks her if he can volunteer more hours here, and she's like, yeah, we're actually hiring, if you want to apply. And he's like, haha, no, I'm soulless corporate thing, thanks, though. But then Jamie comes up to him and is like, what was that about? And Tyler tells him about the application, like it's totally a joke, but he also wants to cry a little and he’s not sure he hides it all that well. And Jamie's like, you have to apply. Haha, no, Tyler says, I have this degree in soulless corporate thing, remember? And the nice dog lady is like, oh, we don't care about that. You're great with the dogs; you should definitely apply. And Tyler fills out the application even though he feels like he can't breathe the whole time and he knows this isn't going to work and he’s just waiting for someone to come along and tell him he isn't allowed. But it’s nice to pretend.

That week he and Jamie text a little, nothing big, and Tyler tries not to think too much about the job application because obviously he isn't going to get it but then they call him in for an interview on Wednesday and they call him Thursday night to tell him HE GOT THE JOB. Tyler's so excited he texts Jamie right away and Jamie's thrilled and Tyler sort of accidentally invites him to dinner to celebrate the next night, and then he spends all Thursday night dreaming about puppies.

But then he goes in to work on Friday morning and remembers what his life is actually like, and what was he thinking, imagining he could quit? This job is the right choice, the one that has a future, and the dog job doesn't even pay a lot of money and he'd be wasting his degree and ruining his life and he wants to cry every time he thinks about it.

He goes through the whole morning like that and then it's their Friday afternoon meeting where Tyler presents his project and they're all like, what about the other half of the project? And he's like, what? And there are all these glances exchanged and Tyler starts shaking and fumbling his words and he leaves the meeting and just sits in his office, still shaking, and finally he's like, no. He gets up and goes into his boss's office and quits. Then he walks out while his boss is still staring at him and stands outside on the steps of their building and feels dizzy but also like the whole world just opened up. Like he's finally free.

He goes to dinner with Jamie and tells him he quit and Jamie is thrilled for him and Tyler has this giddy ridiculous bubbly feeling in his stomach that makes him laugh more than he has in a month. Then Jamie gets this hesitant look on his face and is like, is this a date? And Tyler's like, NO WHAT WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT WHY DO YOU WANT IT TO BE and is basically hyperventilating and Jamie takes his hand across the table and says shyly, well, I kind of wanted it to be a date and Tyler melts and dies and Jamie holds his hand for all of dinner even though they can't cut their food properly and after they go outside and Jamie kisses him in the street and Tyler's never been happier.

Then the next day he goes and does his formal paperwork with the animal shelter for his new job and he starts that afternoon and it's great. He doesn't love every minute of it but he loves 95% of the minutes, even the ones where he’s cleaning the cages. The only bad ones are when he has to deal with rude would-be dog adopters, and even that's okay because they go away and it's him and the dogs again. And every time someone's like, wow, you seem like you really like your job! He's all sheepish like, haha, I mean, yeah, but I got my degree in this other thing. And finally Jamie's like, why do you keep saying that? You know no one cares what you got your degree in. And Tyler's like, I don't know, isn't it weird that I don't work in that field? And Jamie's like, um, no, like everyone I know works in a field different from what they got their degree in. And Tyler's like WHAT WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS. And then he feels dumb but also really happy and he kisses Jamie and plays with puppies and is very happy forever and ever the end.

In sum:

Never do what Tyler Seguin would do

A lot of times employers care that you have a degree and not what it’s in

A lot of jobs aren’t even obviously jobs until you graduate and find out about them

There is often very little relation between our interests in academia and what we enjoy doing for a significant number of hours per week in the workforce

Pay attention to the things you actually enjoy on a day-to-day basis (do you like solitude? independent problem-solving? organizing other people? talking to crowds?) and talk to some people with jobs about the rhythm of their days and see what sounds appealing to you

A job doesn’t have to be a passion. Some people get lucky and end up feeling like their paid work is their driving force in life, but lots of us just have jobs that are enjoyable enough and end up finding the stuff that makes our life meaningful outside of work

Always ask Jamie Benn on a date

Good luck. Hope life looks less stressful on the other side of commencement. :D

#wow i got carried away #yay tyler and the puppies #i guess this turned into a non-wolfverse au #oh well #bennguin #wolfverse #advicewolves #hockey rpf #Anonymous

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Rio & Buster

Rio: [a box of stuff of his that got messed up in with Nancy's in the move 'cos your sister ain't talking to you either] Rio: [just like there you go] Buster: [thrilled about it] Buster: [takes it upstairs to the flat over said pub because he's staying there in protest fuck all of y'all] Rio: Lucky they've not got lodgers Buster: What can I say? Charmed life Rio: No doubt Rio: 'cos spare bedroom at theirs ain't so spare now Buster: Unlucky them Rio: Not really where my pity's going Rio: sure they'll find space for the punching bag Buster: No doubt Buster: It's as much a member of the fam as any of us at this point Rio: Sod Nance then Rio: stay on the sofa 'til Uni, like Buster: Not like she'd put up a fight Rio: Not like anyone's gonna bring another one to her Buster: Yeah that's the point Rio: Is it? Buster: Here 'cause she's down & out now Buster: Spent fucking ages on the ropes like Buster: No stamina left, is there? Rio: Sooo kick her whilst she's down/kick her out of the spare room Rio: Interesting idea Buster: Necessary more like Buster: But whatever Rio: Your solution Rio: Reckon it'll toughen her up Buster: Probably too late for that but when the alternative becomes walking on eggshells for the foreseeable future Buster: Have to try Rio: It's summer Rio: everyone's having a break, yeah Buster: So I should give her one, yeah? Buster: Way ahead of you Rio: Not just you Buster: If everyone else gives her any more of one we can just call this her party Rio: Nah Rio: she'd hate that Rio: heaven forbid Buster: Yeah well Buster: [back & hitting up the 18 year old hot barmaid like Rio: [when you're rolling your eyes so hard they gonna get stuck at the back of your head] Rio: be useful and get him another drink Buster: [When the girl loves it tho] Buster: Do you want one? Rio: Are you offering Buster: What was that just then if not? Rio: No telling Rio: go on then Buster: How many have you already had if you can't tell what 'do you want a drink' means? Buster: & Am I meant to guess what, like? Rio: It don't matter if it's wet and alcoholic Buster: 😂 Buster: Alright, brandy it is then Rio: See Rio: this is why I can't tell Rio: pisstake Buster: I'm always serious about getting pissed at fam functions Buster: You know that Rio: then don't get me fucking brandy or I've got no chance Buster: Then tell me what you want & stop trying to make me mind read Rio: You mean you can't? Rio: Disappointing Buster: You mean you want me to? Buster: Alright Rio: Don't take your time Rio: know what he's like if he actually finishes one before having the next lined up Buster: [Brings her the exact right drink obvs cos ofc he knows] Rio: [does cheers motion when she takes it] Buster: [& we back on our barmaid bullshit again cos gonna take her outside or upstairs at some point & need to put in that work] Rio: Does she know you're a child, like Buster: Firstly, I ain't & secondly, mind your own Rio: You are and how Rio: your attempts are blatant Buster: Care more about the birthday boy or my sister the other guest of honour Buster: That'd do for a start Rio: Take your own advice Buster: My distraction is sorted, cheers Buster: You're the one asking me how to get one Rio: I'm not, I'm asking if she knows she's down for some kiddie fiddling or what Buster: Ask her if you're so concerned, like Rio: Ha don't dare me Buster: We can play if you want Buster: Been a while Rio: Your distraction is sorted Buster: Not if you ruin it Rio: What I do best Buster: Yeah Rio: She's not going to fuck her employers grandson Rio: get a grip Buster: You wish she wouldn't Rio: You're dellusional Rio: at least if I do it you'll have someone to blame Buster: Nah, it's a summer job & summer ain't lasting much longer Buster: Her words not mine Rio: I asked for her life story less than you did Buster: Gotta get your fun while you can, babe Rio: That's what she's counting fucking a virgin kid Rio: you reckon Dublin's a smalltown but it ain't that small Buster: I'm not a virgin or a kid Buster: Try again Rio: You're both Buster: Not for ages now Buster: The past's gone, stop living there Rio: 😂 Rio: the big boy act is not convincing Rio: let's hope she is noncy or you have 0 chance Buster: 😂 Buster: I'd have sent you more frequent updates if I'd known you were this invested Rio: No need Rio: can see the show from here Buster: & I can see the colour of your eyes from here Buster: If it makes you this jealous, don't watch, babe Rio: Not meant to be looking Rio: or at least pretending you ain't Rio: remember Buster: Take your own advice Rio: I don't have to Rio: you said you would Buster: Ain't that the world's biggest cop out Buster: But fine Rio: I didn't want to stop Rio: it was for your benefit so act like it Buster: Get a grip Buster: I haven't done anything but act like it Rio: Keep it up Buster: You're the one watching me reap the benefits Rio: You could call it that Buster: I just did Rio: I thought you was trying to sound mature here Rio: probably calm down Buster: I don't have to try Buster: At anything Rio: 😂 Rio: don't lead with that whatever you do Rio: napoleon complex got you sounded younger than you are, kiddo Buster: I don't need your advice, you already did me a really big favour, like Rio: You need so much more help than I'm willing to give Rio: not got that samaritans gig yet Buster: That's the thing, I don't 'cause I fucked a girl when you left & haven't wanted to stop since Buster: Haven't needed to either so like I said, cheers Rio: [audibly lols] Rio: yep, bragging on numbers Rio: PEAK mature big boy moves Rio: Oh my God, McKenna Rio: [walking away from view once she's downed what's left of her drink] Buster: That is how it normally goes, yeah. Could almost be a direct quote Rio: I'm as impressed as they are, I guarantee it Buster: Nah, but you don't get to be Buster: Have to keep to my word Rio: Hardly Rio: at best you're on a promise here Rio: aren't married Rio: unless you're really committed to pretending you're grown Rio: very first school, it's sweet Buster: 😂 Rio: Still dramatic Buster: Says you Rio: Yeah Rio: focus Rio: know it's like a dream but keep up Buster: Talking to you ain't that much of a nightmare, don't do yourself down, babe Buster: & Well done for not openly crying or begging, like Buster: Maybe you do possess some self control in spite of everything Rio: Night's still young Rio: but nah, keep dreaming Rio: if there was anyone else here Buster: I will Buster: & If there was nobody else here, yeah? Rio: Exactly Buster: Exactly Rio: Exactly Rio: what are we talking about Buster: You're about to analyze my dreams, aren't you? Rio: Can Rio: so easy but hit me with it Buster: Only easy when you're in 'em babe, but that is often Rio: Good one Buster: They are good, yeah Rio: You're welcome for all the inspiration Buster: You don't get to take credit for my imagination Rio: Yeah I do Rio: you're a boy, it's a well-known fact you have none Buster: Bullshit Rio: It's true! Rio: they've done studies and everything Buster: Not on me Rio: Special, are you Buster: You know it Rio: You're funny Buster: & Imaginative Buster: Everything fun we ever did was my idea Rio: Bullshit 😂 Buster: True you mean Rio: Nope, definitely not Buster: Name one thing you thought of Rio: Getting drunk was my idea Rio: as was calling the adults when you when green literal so you owe me your life, actually Buster: Nah, you just agreed with me Buster: & that don't count as fun Rio: No way Rio: don't misremember Rio: woulda been if you did it right Buster: Don't you Buster: Just 'cause it suits you now Rio: I ain't Rio: cheek Buster: You are Rio: You aren't the only one who has fun, or can, I'm not gonna say that Buster: Don't then Rio: Don't say I ain't fun Rio: you know I am Buster: No I don't Buster: I told you, that kid's dead & buried Rio: You know I am now Rio: whoever you are Buster: Again, no I don't Rio: Shut up Buster: Maybe if I asked Miles he'd vouch for you, but we don't talk Rio: Still? Buster: What, there's meant to be a time limit on it? Buster: I beat him up & he ain't over it Buster: I can't say I'm gutted Rio: Worse than girls Rio: well, not at your school, obviously Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: What, you reckon you ain't? Buster: I don't care enough to reckon about it Rio: You are Rio: listen to me, no need to wonder Buster: Like I said, whatever you say Rio: You're so cute Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: But shut up Rio: Make me Buster: You wish Rio: Yawn Buster: Big surprise, you're bored & boring Buster: Again Rio: That's your bit Buster: Where? Buster: When? Rio: Here and now, baby Buster: Nah Rio: Mhmm Buster: Have another drink, you're bound to change your mind Rio: Jesus you sound like your dad Rio: that makes sense Rio: the whole act Buster: Glad you reckon you've made sense of something Buster: Must be a relief Rio: Not really but what can you do Rio: nothing, apparently Buster: You'll get over it Rio: You wish Buster: Not really, but what can you do Rio: Plenty Rio: if you'd let me Buster: Come on then Buster: Do something Rio: [Comes up and gets a drink from barmaid and is like come on then, to Buster, not her lmao] Buster: [Gives her an amused look but doesn't move yet cos not making it that easy] Rio: [is like 'how am I meant to do anything here?'] Buster: ['You're not meant to do anything, full stop. Figure it out'] Rio: [just a look like 'why not?' and then chatting to the barmaid in a way she can 'cos friendly bitch and making her come dance with her 'cos power move] Buster: [a look back that means you know why not but then a lol at the antics that he lets happen before cutting in & kissing the barmaid cos of course] Rio: [probably not a good idea boy your fam gon cockblock now] Buster: [better take her away quick before they realize, off you go outside you two, gods speed] Rio: Fuck you Buster: You can't Rio: Fuck you Buster: Fuck you just as hard, babe Rio: Yeah right Buster: Yeah right Rio: I'm going Buster: Alright Buster: See you around, Cavante Rio: No Buster: Like or not, I'm here for a while Buster: So probably Rio: Fuck off Rio: seriously Rio: stay to yourself like you want to Buster: Feel free to convince my parents I should Buster: Been there, tried it myself Rio: Feel free to drop dead Rio: not doing anything for you Buster: You should've let me if you feel that strongly Rio: That boys already dead and burried Rio: how many times have you dramatically spewed that Buster: Maybe two Rio: Enough you don't need to chat it now Buster: I'm not, you are Rio: Yeah you are Buster: Nah, I'm saying, I bet you wish you didn't save me back then Buster: If only you could see the future, yeah? Rio: You wish Rio: You want everyone to hate you so bad Rio: have to wait 'til you're grown to fuck off and leave everyone behind Buster: Nah, Nance has fucked off already, that's one down Buster: My odds are good on not having to wait Rio: make you feel better when they forced you on the plane yeah Rio: diddums Rio: how 'bout you fuck her and get onto smack Rio: that's it, or death Buster: All the better for seeing you, obviously Buster: Very inconsiderate of her to turn out gay, like Buster: I'll have to kill myself, I guess Rio: Yeah you'd never Buster: Why not? Rio: Love yourself too much Rio: sadly Buster: All the more reason to do it myself, make it worthy of me Buster: & Really dramatic, of course Rio: You're all chat Rio: and you'd stay alive just to spite me Rio: twat Buster: You ain't that special, remember? Rio: Neither are you but doesn't stop you reckoning Rio: so leave it out Rio: you're a shit liar for someone who does it all the time Buster: So are you Rio: I'm not lying Rio: you 2 for 2 now Buster: Tell me again how I'm not special or you hate me Buster: It's a lie Rio: I do hate you right now Rio: and you aren't special I just fucking Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a me issue, you've said it enough Rio: it's not about you Buster: You do know & it is about me Rio: Why are you doing this now Buster: Why are you? Rio: Because I fucking wanted to Rio: you don't so stop Buster: I'm giving you exactly what I said I would Buster: What you asked me to Rio: How is that what I asked Buster: You said stop this Rio: I said come on Rio: and now you're fucking taunting me 'cos why Rio: it's fun Rio: you want me to hate you Buster: You wanna hate me Rio: Bullshit Buster: Every time you say it, I can feel you fucking hoping it'll cancel out how much you want me Buster: Well, now you don't want me anymore Buster: You're welcome Rio: You're an idiot Buster: I'm too sober for your stupidity is what I am Rio: Don't you dare Buster: I do dare, deal with it Rio: Again Rio: 2 for 2 so no you fucking don't Buster: Again, whatever you say babe Rio: It's known Rio: was right Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yep Rio: pussy Buster: You ain't been right about anything other than how shit our kiss was Buster: I learned my lesson then, that's all Rio: You're full of shit Rio: why keep talking Rio: I don't believe you or anything you say Buster: Then we finally agree about something 'cause that's exactly how I've felt about you since you ruined my birthday Rio: Yeah, why would I make myself look insane just to be lying Rio: Fucking good one Sherlock Rio: you're gonna be a shit lawyer with that intuition Buster: All I need is the ability to bullshit & I have that Rio: You don't even need that Rio: plenty of second-rate rich boys playing dress up Rio: swap the badge for a robe, yeah Buster: Good thing too, at least it'll take you a while to be done fucking them all Buster: You're already so bored, like Rio: Oh my God, you still care about that Rio: like I ain't been whoring around my own postcode for a year since then Buster: Such a dramatic pussy so obviously Buster: You fucking hurt me Rio: I know Rio: You hurt me right back Rio: and still are Buster: What did you expect? Rio: Not you to keep this up forever Buster: All I've kept up is the distance you all but fucking begged me for Rio: I don't want it Buster: You think I want it? Rio: yeah Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Don't Buster: Fuck you Rio: what Buster: You can say what you want, fucking throw yourself at me in there & I can't tell you what you already know Rio: I don't know that at all Rio: and even if I accept it now and try and believe you, you'll take it back later and Buster: Don't ask me to & I won't Rio: Okay Rio: promise Rio: don't need to cut our palms but I swear Buster: I ain't fucking doing that my dad's scar is really ugly from when he & Joe did & for what? Rio: 😂 Rio: I said we don't need to Rio: can still be a hand model if you want, not gonna take that from you Buster: Cheers Rio: alright but is that a deal or no Buster: It sounds like you want blood to me babe Buster: Hold on, I'll break this glass, like Rio: Do not Rio: and I don't want you to kill yourself either Rio: or die just in general Rio: btw Buster: I don't want you to whore around your postcode, but things happen Rio: Mixed messages because you definitely told me to but Buster: You told me to drop dead Buster: At least I gave you an easier one Rio: Well alright, if we're changing our minds here Rio: though rude that's the only thing you wanna take back, just saying Buster: I never said that Rio: you said I should go whore round, now you're saying nah so Rio: yeah Buster: What I mean is, there's loads of shit I wanna take back Buster: Not just that Rio: Oh Rio: me too Buster: But I can't & neither can you Buster: Only thing I can't do, but still Rio: Sure you can Rio: people do and say shit all the time and take it back Rio: easy Rio: what's hard is not doing and saying it again Buster: Yeah Buster: Alright Rio: I'll expect it in writing Rio: take your time Buster: Fuck off Buster: Just 'cause I'm capable of an essay unlike my sister, don't mean you're getting one Rio: Just adding to your workload here Rio: be nice whilst you're Rio: not ahead Buster: Fuck that it's summer Buster: Give me a break Rio: Then see me Rio: have fun with me Rio: you're stuck here anyway Buster: Rio don't Rio: Why not Buster: Come on Buster: You're gonna make it even harder for me, really? Rio: I just Rio: I really don't want to hate you, okay Rio: don't make me, that's hard Buster: It's easier than not Buster: Harder to be around each other if we don't Rio: Barely Rio: I nearly just bottled you Rio: how is that better Buster: That pain is piss easy to handle compared to what you could do Rio: It don't feel any easier to me Rio: feels the same Buster: 'Cause I can't bottle you Rio: well, I can't actually you, to be fair Rio: or random girls just 'cos Buster: 'Course you could Buster: You'd have to stretch if you wanna get me over the head, like Rio: 😂 Rio: Shh Rio: it's very much illegal, even when you're asking for it Buster: Or stand on a barstool Buster: Or the bar itself Rio: not that you're thinking about it Rio: weirdo 😜 Buster: I think about you loads, get over it Rio: don't wanna Buster: If I have to, then you do Rio: I never said you have to Buster: I'm saying it, I have too much shit to do to be distracted by you constantly Rio: okay but Rio: little bit Rio: all work no play Rio: come on Buster: I play as hard and you know it Buster: Even when you are there trying to fuck everything up Rio: Exactly Rio: so don't try saying you've got no time for me Buster: I never said none, I said not as much as how often I think about you & then my thoughts want me to give you Rio: I know Rio: I get it too, I mean Buster: Of course, I got really hot Buster: I was a cute kid but Rio: Alright Rio: 😏 Buster: Alright what? Rio: We don't need to talk about how hot you are Buster: It won't be a two way convo, just tell me Rio: You know already shh Buster: Come on Rio: You're gonna be mean Rio: I can feel it Buster: Just say it for me once Buster: You never got me a birthday present Rio: Fine but if you're really annoying about it you're getting muted okay Buster: Or bottled Rio: Yeah you really are wishing now Rio: but you're hot Rio: really hot Rio: you know you are Buster: Fuck Buster: I know you are Rio: ha Rio: I've thought about you saying that loads Buster: What else do I say? Rio: Lots of things Rio: but don't waste loads of time talking, wouldn't be very true to character would it Buster: 😂 Buster: Obviously not Rio: Jesus Rio: I'm glad I left Buster: I'm not Rio: You left too Buster: Well, I ain't proud of that, am I Rio: Yeah Rio: it is what it is Buster: Nah Buster: It ain't that passive, it's what I made it into, deliberately Rio: I know Rio: I mean, obviously within your rights to do it Rio: shitty or otherwise Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Yeah Rio: thanks Rio: it's alright Rio: well it weren't but apology accepted, basically Buster: Where are you? Rio: Omw home Rio: nearly back Buster: Well, that deserves another apology Buster: Nearly Rio: it's okay Rio: gave him his present so won't be as gutted, like Buster: You can still be 👑 Buster: Thank Christ Rio: Honestly Rio: can ruin my night but not my rep, like Buster: I'm being sent home. Home home, not holiday home so no danger to your rep, just mine Rio: Why Rio: I mean Rio: you've been on worst behaviour all round, apparently but what was the final straw Buster: Mum's on one about the barmaid Rio: How mad will you be if I say told you so Rio: just wondering Buster: How mad would you be if I tell you I told her it was worth it Rio: you've actually got a death wish Rio: you know that's gonna make her mad, that kind of thing Buster: Why else do you think I announced it at perfect everybody overhear this volume? Rio: Why are you so mad at them? Buster: How far back do you want me to go? Rio: Alright Rio: over Nancy moving then Buster: They're letting her, ain't that enough? Rio: You'll miss her Buster: I won't Rio: What then Rio: isn't it a good thing for you, you won't have to worry about people talking shit on her, having to smack lads for her Buster: Don't mean I'm not angry she gets to move countries but I can't stay home alone, 'cause that's bullshit when I can take care of myself & she can't Rio: She's living with nan and granddad Rio: they're not just leaving her to do what she wants, like Buster: As good as Buster: How long before she's at ours, I'm calling it Rio: Nah Rio: they'll be more involved than your parents are, no offense Rio: so you still come off better Buster: We'll see Rio: You can be angry still Rio: and miss her, even a bit Buster: Cheers for the permission, like Rio: Any time Buster: How do these parties get more shit with every passing year, have a word Granddad, fuck's sake Rio: 'cos we get older but still get treated like kids Rio: and you're moodier, somehow Buster: You were calling me a kid not long ago, now you're gonna call 'em out for doing it, yeah? Rio: Not saying they shouldn't or that you ain't Rio: just why it's shit Buster: Very diplomatic Rio: mhmm Rio: you don't deserve me being mean about it, soz Buster: So you're only gonna be nice from now? Rio: Diplomatic Rio: you don't wanna be friends Buster: I don't wanna disfigure my hand with a blade Buster: If you wanna make me a better offer Rio: Did that too Rio: but seriously Rio: it was weird not talking for all that time Rio: barely talking anyway Buster: Yeah Rio: just don't stay away that hard yeah Buster: How hard then? Rio: as hard as you wanna Rio: but actually Rio: don't pretend Buster: What if I actually don't wanna? Rio: then don't Rio: it's just talking Rio: nothing wrong with that Buster: Okay Rio: Good Rio: I missed you Rio: sometimes Buster: Only when you were awake Rio: 😂 Rio: not dreaming about you, no? Rio: basically #humble for you Buster: That's what I was saying, those hours when you can't dream about me must have been the absolute worst, babe Rio: Oh god Rio: keep chatting, might cure me 😏 Buster: You know what the cure is Rio: Yeah? Buster: Eat cheese before you go to bed & have nightmares instead Buster: That or drink brandy til you can't dream Buster: Might die but Rio: 😂 Rio: I'm sure we don't have any of that filth Rio: 'less you can cook with it, hmm Rio: I'll see Buster: You can Rio: Get you Buster: Crêpes Suzette being the classic Rio: You're funny Rio: don't think I'm gonna go to that trouble when I could just stay up Buster: I'll come make them for you, call it a peace offering Rio: Party's gone that downhill 'cos I left, yeah? Buster: To be honest Rio: Guess your friend left when you embarrassed her along with your ma? Buster: She's not my friend Buster: But obviously Rio: well you know what I mean Rio: at least its a summer job Buster: I wouldn't have gone there otherwise, don't need to run into her every time I get dragged back here Rio: 🙄 Rio: how you getting 'round that at home then Buster: By being upfront about it Buster: No big words though Rio: Brilliant Buster: It does work brilliantly, yeah Rio: even if we're friends, not one of your mates, boy Rio: don't be bragging Buster: You asked & I answered Rio: Mhmm Buster: Not like I was offering you a spreadsheet with the figures Rio: Shh are you coming or not Buster: Do you want me to? Rio: Yes Rio: I'm hungry Buster: Then yeah Rio: Good Buster: I won't say a word about how much faster it'd be for you to just feed yourself Rio: Better not Rio: know you have hired help Buster: Not a cook Rio: you offered Rio: I'll be grateful Buster: When you've tasted it, you'll be more than grateful Buster: But I gotta get there first Rio: You can do it Rio: I believe in you Buster: Don't run out of compliments before this cab has even set off Rio: Better to do it now Rio: less risky Buster: No risk, no reward, babe Rio: I'm paying for crepes in compliments, am I Rio: sure that's what you want? Buster: The more praise I get the better I perform, it's up to you how good you want this meal, like Rio: That doesn't surprise me even a little, babe Rio: keep it in mind Buster: Why should it? It's true of everyone Buster: I also happen to thrive against the odds too but I'm just that good Buster: Keep that in mind Rio: Most people, even more most blokes Rio: What odds? You're gonna have that kitchen all to yourself Rio: and all the fancy ingredients you need Buster: Are you trying to bullshit me that you don't love encouragement as much as anyone, don't make me laugh Buster: The odds that the smell of brandy could make me wanna puke, for one thing Rio: I dunno Rio: can be a bit much Rio: depends Rio: I'll hold your nose for you Buster: In the wrong hands, anything can be a bit much Buster: You just wanna use yours to hurt me Buster: If I leave with a broken nose, we ain't friends no more Rio: Yeah, exactly Rio: that's why I'm done with schoolboys Rio: Promise Rio: you're too pretty Buster: I ain't leaving school for you, my mum would do more than break my nose Rio: 😂 Rio: Enough of a reason not to Rio: Maybe Buster: Until you give me a more worthwhile reason to do it Rio: Like I need to Buster: Like you want to Rio: You still reckon it's me stopping us Buster: I'm stopping us 'cause you asked me to, so technically yeah Rio: Ugh Buster: Tell me not to Buster: Take it all back Rio: You already said I can't Buster: When I said that, I was angry Rio: so was I Rio: and a whole clusterfuck of other emotions Rio: when I did it and all the shit I've said since Rio: including when I told you to stop and leave Buster: And now? What do you feel like Rio: Happy that we're talking Rio: that's all I know Buster: I've missed you, do miss you Rio: I know we never saw each other loads but Rio: not being able to talk to you was Rio: shit Rio: and knowing if I did you'd just say I was drunk or desperate or whatever the fuck Buster: I know I ain't easy to talk to Buster: So I'm happy too, that you wanna Rio: You aren't that bad Rio: give it a good shot, like but you know Buster: Come on Buster: I'm as much of a cunt as I can be Rio: Yeah well I'm tough Rio: don't take it personal Rio: sure loads of people hate you, babe Buster: Nah, they love me Rio: 😂 Rio: Okay Rio: you're an idiot Buster: I'm serious, being a cunt in Chelsea is like being a pub owner in Dublin Buster: Well loved Rio: Whatever works Buster: Like I said, it all does, brilliantly Rio: On them Rio: but that's not what really matters, like Buster: Of course on them, this is where I live & these are my people Buster: That's what matters, there's no point thriving in Dublin for the few weeks I'm there & not being able to hack it here Rio: Not what I mean either, really Rio: but least it makes sense Buster: What do you mean then? Rio: What about you, is what I mean Rio: not just playing to whatever crowd you have to Buster: What about me? That's what success is Rio: and that makes you happy Buster: It makes me successful Rio: What's that then Rio: if not happiness Rio: and money, obviously Buster: It's an assurance that whatever passing bullshit, happy, sad, pissed off, whatever I've got going on, I'll still be at the top of my game Rio: Hmm Rio: okay Rio: I get it Buster: It ain't a difficult concept Buster: Obviously you understand it Rio: Nah Rio: I just don't understand how everything you think is success brings that Rio: actual, definitely Rio: but surrounding yourself with cunts so you can be top cunt? Rio: that's just bullshit init Buster: If you can adapt & endure you'll thrive. Anywhere, under any circumstances, over any cunt Rio: Suppose that's true Buster: It don't matter who I'm surrounded by, I'll be top Buster: These are just the present cunts Rio: What about really nice people Rio: I know you ain't going that hard the other way Buster: Nice people don't run the world, babe Buster: They get shit on by it Rio: Nah Buster: Ask Nance Rio: That's not nice Rio: that's insecure and not able to stand up for yourself Rio: no offense, Nance Buster: You're the one who called her the nice twin Buster: I could happily slag her off all day Rio: Mostly to highlight your evilness Rio: but not gonna sit here and call her a bitch, obvs Buster: 😈 Rio: 😏 Rio: I wish Buster: What are you wasting a wish for? Rio: when you're such an 😇 wishes grow on trees Buster: Nah Rio: Which part of that are you doubting? Buster: The part that gives you a halo Rio: Oh, so you were being that rude Buster: Being that honest more like Buster: I know you Rio: Earlier I was no fun and now I'm hellbound Rio: which is it to be, babe? Buster: Depends Rio: On you Buster: On you Buster: I told you before, I ain't gonna be your scapegoat Rio: I just know that if I end up in hell, I'm blaming you Rio: 🤷 Buster: If you wanna go to hell, I'll take you there, babe Buster: But I could just as easy take you to heaven Rio: You are such a tease, McKenna Buster: That depends too Rio: Nah Rio: but that's okay Rio: I don't not like it Buster: I know Rio: Partially Rio: I don't think you know just how much I really don't not like it Buster: You reckon? Rio: All you've got is that famous imagination of yours Buster: Give me more then Buster: If you think you can Rio: I know I could Rio: question is should I Buster: I already said yes Rio: Not exactly asking nicely but Rio: like that too Buster: That I really do know Rio: It's pretty obvious Rio: why I like you Buster: Tell me something that isn't Rio: Alright Rio: Hmm Buster: & If its gonna take you this long, let me in Rio: you can't let yourself in? Rio: talk about poor service Buster: You invited me, let me in Rio: Fine, fine Rio: coming Buster: [when you just standing there at the door looking fresh to death] Rio: [when you're obviously admiring but playing it cool like kitchen this way] Buster: [when you 'brush past' her to get there not cos you wanna get there 1st but cos you want your bodies to touch] Rio: [when you've got all bowls and shit out like a nerd] Buster: [when you sit her on the counter so she can watch this masterpiece come together & you shamelessly wanna touch her as much as you can] Rio: [just dying slowly over here and 😳 but you can pretend it's hot in kitchen 'cos always is] Buster: [okay but teasing her with the brandy cos big mood so they have to basically playfight about not smelling/drinking it] Rio: [so innocent but the tension lawd] Buster: [when the only reason you don't kiss is because sauce on the stove about to burn or whatever & reminds you what you're meant to be doing] Rio: [#seriouschef] Buster: [gotta impress the bae which is why you also swig some brandy from the bottle like look] Rio: ['if you're sick it's really gonna put me off all the effort you've put in, like'] Buster: [is 😏 cos cocky bitch getting back to serious chef-ing] Rio: ['I'm gonna go get changed' 'cos still in party tings and just giving that mental image to him tah] Buster: [helps her down not cos he needs to but cos he wants to & the eye contact as he do because] Rio: [now you get to be 😏 but go 'cos we cockblocking you chef boy] Buster: [when you watching her go & then thinking about those mental images so hard that its a miracle the kitchen isn't on fire] Rio: [ha awkward like soz cali] Buster: [when you tell her to hurry back & you can pretend its cos this don't take long cos it don't but also we know] Rio: [pretend there are 'fit options here 'cos even your comfies are hot that's just the life she's forever living] Rio: 1 or 2 Buster: If you reckoned 1 was good enough you wouldn't have shown me 2 Rio: Numbers were randomized but 2 it is Rio: One sec Buster: You don't leave anything to chance Rio: Gotta go out there and make shit happen or it never will Rio: yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: anyway, was accounting for your bad taste rearing its head 😉 Buster: Expensive taste is only bad taste if you're poor & jealous Rio: and I'm neither Buster: So you've got nothing to worry about Rio: doesn't mean you don't have to sell me on this meal still Buster: It'll sell itself Buster: One taste Rio: Let's see Rio: [coming back down] Buster: [Such a LOOK at her] Rio: [Sitting back on the counter 'cos mood always casually maintaining eye contact forever oh you two] Buster: [Asks her if she wants to do the bit when you light the brandy at the end cos literally asking if she wants to play with fire the SYMBOLISM bye] Rio: ['Obviously' cos] Buster: [hands her a match cos what a fucking mood] Rio: [when you're just having a moment over the flames like] Buster: [and then its time to serve this shit so he'd do all the gentlemanly shit of pulling her chair out etc] Rio: [when you're loling but also loving it and just open your mouth like ok feed me] Buster: [when you know he will & does] Rio: [casual food porn happening here lmao] Buster: [probably don't come back that exact second cali fam] Rio: [caleb so sad like food is MY love language] Buster: [when you're waiting for a review tho] Rio: [when you've been making noises to not even be a tease about it so you're like 'okay, it's good'] Buster: [smug af but also so into her everything rn] Rio: [holding out a forkful like you want some] Buster: [a look cos we both know what he wants some of lol 'yeah'] Rio: [just feeding each other, getting this out the way or whoever walks in would KNOW honey] Buster: [sharing a chair because he weren't sitting down to have any & CLOSENESS] Rio: [y'all gonna jump a foot in the air when the fam roll in, at least a screaming child would give you chance to get off each other] Buster: [literally she's gonna be on his lap if they don't hurry up] Rio: [when you're like 'you've got some there' as a blatant excuse for more touching] Buster: [kill me now tbh] Rio: [gotta bring 'em in, so mad, never mind how mad y'all are gonna be] Buster: [how is it not obvs to cali how turned on these two are rn like hello I know you've got your hands full but] Rio: [also know she's fuming 'cos usually a helpful bitch but she's just there like hell no, also looking at him like what you gonna do] Buster: [when you just leave cos there's no way to explain gotta use the chaos to your advantage & make her answer questions if they get asked such a prick move] Rio: 😒 Buster: That better not be directed at me Rio: Nah Rio: stick it in the family groupchat but might be a bit blatant Buster: More blatant than what they walked in on? Buster: Unlikely Rio: They aren't all that observant Rio: well, 'less they wanna be but should be fine Rio: didn't say anything, still haven't so Buster: Good Rio: Yeah Rio: I think so Rio: still 😒 Buster: At least you ain't gotta catch a plane tomorrow with a 'disappointed' dad Buster: I did him the favour of not having to unpack all my sister's shit but instead of thanking me, it's a lecture I'll get Rio: That'll be fun Rio: 'least it ain't a long flight Buster: Just enough time to say don't fuck 18 year olds til you're at least 16 Rio: Probably doesn't warrant the whole flight but you know Rio: 6/10 parenting Buster: Gotta factor in all the time spent in silence before & after though Rio: You're too alike Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm younger, hotter & better Rio: Save it for your rebuttal Buster: It packs more of a punch if I hit him with a fresh take, he's been aware of all that for years Rio: Lemme know when you come up with a zinger, like Buster: 'Course Rio: I'd help but gotta silently come for my own now, obviously so Buster: I don't need any, don't worry Buster: Besides, it'd piss him off more if I hadn't learned my lesson so I'll probably just join the mile high club Rio: 😂 Yeah unless there's a closeted horny businessman doing his commute too, I highly doubt that Rio: that flight's a glorified bus trip Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 🙄 Buster: 😏 Rio: Shut up Buster: Make me Rio: That was the plan Rio: more or less Buster: So make a new one Rio: You should've stayed Rio: could've Rio: they're busy they never notice what I'm doing Buster: If I was thinking, yeah Buster: I would've Rio: Annoyed at you Rio: might bust out the face, actually Buster: It's your own fault Buster: Be annoyed at yourself, like Rio: You're not annoyed about that Buster: Annoyed ain't the word, you're right Rio: Got lots of time and brainpower to think of the word now, ain't ya Buster: Yeah Rio: you back home yet? Buster: Nearly Rio: Shame Buster: It doesn't have to be Rio: How? Rio: You're going back tomorrow Buster: I'm here now Buster: I know I've got more imagination but use yours Buster: What do you wanna do? Rio: Finish what we started Buster: So come on Buster: Take me through it, how would it have gone? Rio: Well I was about to sit on your lap Rio: and you were about to feel how much I wasn't ready for you to go Buster: You'd have felt how ready to go I was Buster: Shame I had to leave instead Rio: It really is Rio: Still one last mouthful I wanted you to feed me Buster: I know Rio: and really could've put the worktop to more use Buster: & the table, barely used that Rio: Well now I'm gonna be thinking about you tomorrow morning when I'm getting breakfast too Buster: You're welcome Rio: It's not fair Buster: I told you, I don't play fair Buster: Just hard Rio: I'll just have to make sure you're thinking about me too Buster: How will you ever compete with my family's riveting breakfast conversation though? Buster: We're all so chatty, like Rio: Didn't know if you were on the first flight out in disgrace Rio: got your own plans then, like Buster: I don't reckon we sit down for breakfast at the same time as your lot Buster: Somehow Rio: how else you gonna fit in brunch and high tea Buster: 😂 Rio: you reckon imma get up for you Buster: Yeah Buster: Even if you also stayed up all night for me Rio: You're so fucking Rio: cocky Buster: Is that meant to insult me? Confident in a bold way, yeah, I am Buster: 'Cause I can be Rio: No Rio: just facts Rio: I've not said how I feel about it Buster: You don't need to Buster: You're so obvious Rio: So? Rio: You think you ain't Rio: I wanna be Buster: It's not a bad thing either Buster: I ain't saying it is Rio: You've said it is before Buster: So? Buster: We're both said worse before Rio: Yeah but did you mean that or do you mean this Buster: You really need to ask? Rio: Yeah Rio: this don't need to be a headfuck does it Rio: that's the whole point Buster: Making it known what you want is only bullshit if you then don't go after it Buster: Be as obvious as you want if that ain't all you do Rio: or when I go after one of your mates, obviously Buster: Shut up Rio: What Buster: Not a headfuck you just said Rio: It ain't Buster: Don't Buster: That's not what I wanna be thinking about Rio: Me either Buster: Then stop Rio: Alright Rio: I'm not thinking about it Buster: Good Rio: do you really have to go tomorrow Rio: can't you just behave Buster: It don't matter if I do, what's done is already done Rio: I know Rio: 😒 Buster: They gotta lay the law down while they still can, time's running out for it Rio: Know the feeling Rio: you made a mess Rio: guess who's gotta clean it up Rio: washing up is definitely what I wanna be doing rn Buster: I know you'd rather I made more mess & cleaned it up but that'll have to wait Buster: You can shower without me later though, I won't be that mad about it Rio: 😩 ugh Rio: please come back, won't complain about the washing up once if you just Buster: Come here Buster: It's your turn Rio: have you gone back to the pub Buster: The flat yeah Rio: I can't just show up at the party again can I Buster: Why not? Rio: 'cos they'll be expecting me to stay not race up to the flat to see you Buster: I'll come down, I didn't get changed, just you Rio: but I wanna sit on your lap again Buster: There's places we can go to do that Rio: Fuck it Rio: alright Buster: Hurry up Rio: there's a bus in 10 minutes so Rio: faster than getting back here Buster: Anything's faster than getting to yours Buster: It's a pisstake Rio: I know, I have to live there Rio: need to drive asap Buster: I reckon you could, if you work out a way to reach the pedals, like Rio: Piss off 😂 Rio: just 'cos I'm not gonna look like I'm in a clown car don't be salty Buster: I ain't getting a smart car, I'll be fine Rio: Neither am I Rio: but sadly you'd be waiting 2 years over the 20 this'll take so deal and have a drink waiting for me yeah Buster: You can have a tall glass of brandy if you don't behave Rio: 🤢 stop Rio: you just want an excuse to not go near me Rio: I see you Buster: I wanna be near you Rio: Yeah but how near Buster: You'll see Rio: if there's brandy I know you don't wanna go that far Buster: Do you? Rio: You know I wanna go all the way Rio: or what's the point starting Buster: The point is not being able to stop Buster: You think we'll just do this once? Rio: How are we gonna know if we don't try Rio: why not, because we're not meant to? Buster: I already know I'm that good Rio: then find out how good I am Rio: I'm not going to fall in love with you like calm down, it's fine Buster: You already did Buster: Glad you're finally over it now, babe Rio: 🙄 Boy please Rio: I was not Rio: we were kids you aren't even capable Buster: Tell it to my parents Rio: If I get drunk enough, I might Rio: though they're already pissed at you, might actually murder me Buster: You're not here to get drunk Rio: You're hot when you're serious Buster: I'm always hot Rio: 😏 Buster: You never told me that thing, you know, you just let me in Rio: Oh Rio: I forgot Rio: who knows why Buster: So come on, I'm waiting Buster: Tell me Rio: Something you don't know? Buster: Yeah Rio: Trouble is, I think you know as much as you wanna know Rio: you're not trying to know any more than that Buster: Bullshit, when have I wanted less than everything since you've known me Rio: You gonna give me everything in return? Buster: You can have it all, you just have to want it Rio: What's wrong with us Rio: do you reckon Buster: Depends who you ask Buster: If you're asking me, nothing Buster: You're flawless & I obviously am Rio: It's not our fault we're hot Rio: I bet loads of people think it but just don't do anything about it, right Rio: they just lie to save face, don't wanna put it out there to have it shot down Buster: Exactly Rio: Yeah Rio: we just ain't afraid to take what we want Buster: My parents didn't give a fuck & neither do I Buster: They have their uses Rio: really good excuse if we got caught Rio: but we won't, obviously Buster: Not that I've thought about it loads or anything Buster: Obviously Rio: Yeah right Rio: start thinking then boy you've got a lot of catching up to do Buster: Keep up with my sarcasm, babe Rio: I am, babe Rio: but I can't be thinking about you thinking about me right now Rio: this bus is kinda packed Buster: What happened to not afraid? Rio: I'm not afraid, that's the issue, I'm too turned on to be not with you right now Buster: It's not an issue & there's no such thing as too turned on, not when you're on your way to see me Rio: sadly the rest of the fam is gonna be there too but that's life Buster: Nah, I'm getting you alone as soon as you get here Buster: They don't need to even know you are Rio: let's try Rio: I am hard to miss Buster: Yeah but I'm at the bus stop Buster: None of them are Rio: Really Buster: Why would I wait for you in there instead of here? Rio: Always thinking Rio: I can't right now, your fault Buster: But you are, about me Rio: yes Rio: a lot Buster: I'm thinking about you too Rio: Good Rio: I want to do exactly what you're thinking about so make it good Buster: It's always good Rio: It better be Rio: still gonna top it Buster: You better Rio: bet on it Buster: High stakes, babe Buster: Good thing you ain't afraid Rio: What other stakes are there? Rio: no guts no glory Buster: You could be bluffing Rio: You want proof? Rio: That is risky Buster: I like risk Buster: Don't you? Rio: [as sexy a selfie you're gonna manage on a bus lbr it's mostly about the 'fit and facial expression here] Buster: Good answer Rio: Thanks 😏 Buster: [As sexy a selfie as you can manage alone at a bus stop, which is very when you don't give a fuck anyway] Buster: You're welcome Rio: JESUS Buster: Like I said, heaven's as easy as hell Rio: is it Rio: I feel like I'll never get there now but I don't even care Rio: fuck Buster: I'll get you there Rio: Please Buster: It's been ages since you tried politeness on me, I thought you'd given up Rio: I said, I wanna do whatever you want Rio: politeness included Buster: Don't worry, I'll tell you what to do Rio: How did you know Buster: Like I said, being obvious ain't a bad thing Rio: Why don't most other lads get it then Buster: They don't care what you want Rio: Hmm Rio: probably true Buster: They want what they want, that's it Rio: but if that's me they should do it right Buster: They probably think they are Buster: Or they don't care as long as it's right for them Rio: 😒 schoolboys, I'm telling you Buster: Excuse you Rio: be the exception Rio: giving you a chance to show me otherwise Buster: I am Buster: You think you're the first girl to issue that to me Rio: 🙄 alright Buster: Your eyes will be rolling back in your head by the time we're done, yeah Rio: believe it when it happens Rio: happy to be proven wrong Buster: Happy ain't the word Rio: Have you thought of the word yet? Buster: I'm thinking you might as well go back to begging 'cause that's what's gonna be coming most naturally to you, like Buster: Please is as good a word as any for you right now Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: You cannot say my name after saying all that I'm Buster: I could say sorry but I'm not Rio: don't say sorry Rio: not for this Rio: ever, alright Buster: I won't Buster: But you're gonna need to if you keep making me wait Rio: Trust, I've never been more sorry Rio: I hate the fucking bus Buster: How far away are you? Rio: 3 stops Rio: not that I'm counting Buster: Jesus Rio: I know Rio: why do you think I'm so fucking desperate Buster: I know why, but tell me how desperate you are since we've got so much time to kill Rio: I just keep looking at your picture Rio: It's really hard to keep my hands to myself Buster: [sends her an even better one cos just that bitch] Rio: You're only going to touch me once and I'm going to explode Buster: Yeah but then I get to do it all again Rio: How many times can we fit in before you go Buster: How much stamina do you have? Rio: Buster, I want you for as long as you're here Rio: fuck that, I want you longer but I need that Buster: Fuck Buster: Okay Rio: It's been too long Buster: Yeah Rio: I've wanted this for so long Rio: you know Buster: Me too Rio: I know Rio: we just need to cross the line Buster: We need to fucking erase it Buster: No going back Rio: I want that too Buster: I need that Rio: There's so much I wanna tell you Rio: show you Buster: Do it Rio: Maybe I'm a bit scared Rio: about that Buster: Don't be Rio: Do my best Buster: Seriously, you can trust me Rio: Yeah Rio: more worried about myself Rio: but I can see you, finally Rio: [so maybe a kiss is unavoidable but one of the kids should come out 'cos they're young enough to be highkey and annoying maybe pablo or janis 'cos they'd like buster and if one of the adults is like oh he's outside somewhere] Buster: Yeah? How do I look? Rio: Better than you did earlier, and your pictures Rio: somehow Buster: You can have some credit Rio: [getting off the bus like 😏 'say that again'] Buster: [does obvs oh the eye contact oh the tension] Rio: [not gonna be able to leave it long 'fore initiating this like been building forever so enjoy the view bus people] Buster: [literally tho] Rio: [don't enjoy the view hopefully janis eek] Buster: [when there's nothing chaste about this kiss so good luck styling that out if she does] Rio: [ahh the trust issues begin, 'cos Rio is this fam's star child still lmao okay] Buster: [this fam makes me die] Rio: [when you've got to come back in the party now you can't just bolt like] Rio: fuck Buster: Go Rio: I can't Buster: You fucking have to Rio: I will as soon as I can Rio: how is she being Rio: does she seem normal Buster: I don't know Rio: Jesus Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Just be your normal self Buster: Who the fuck is that? Buster: Christ Rio: Yeah, like that Rio: I don't know Rio: she couldn't have seen Rio: she would be Buster: You don't know that Rio: No I don't but Rio: can't ask her, can we Rio: we have to run with best possible outcome or we could fuck it needlessly Buster: You have to say something Rio: What can I say? Rio: how do I explain that away Buster: It's about what she can say Rio: she's only 8 Rio: they'll probably think she's making it up or that it was just like a goodbye kiss or Rio: something Buster: Fuck that Rio: She won't say anything Rio: I'll make sure if I have to Buster: Make sure then Rio: Not unless I have to Buster: You do have to Rio: just stop Rio: I need to go Rio: think or puke or both Buster: You need to prioritise Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Don't have a go at me when you're not offering or are going to do ANYTHING about it alright Buster: What the hell can I do? I barely know her Rio: what can I do Rio: no one's so close to their younger siblings they can just chat about shit like this Rio: it's not a normal situation Buster: Threaten, bribe, whatever the fuck Rio: I'm thinking Rio: that was so stupid we're so fucking stupid Buster: I'll do it if you won't Rio: I'll do it Rio: like you said, you don't know her Buster: Don't wait too long Rio: I'm not going to Rio: trust me, she is not that kid Rio: she wouldn't just drop it now Rio: I'll work out what she saw Rio: then what she wants Buster: I'm gonna have to trust you, aren't I Buster: Not like I have a load of other options Rio: we don't have any Rio: that's what it is Buster: Shut up & delete everything Buster: It's her word against ours if it needs to be Rio: Right Rio: she can't use this, even if she wanted Rio: if she even kept going, I'll say I'm blackout, or you, everyone saw us both drinking Buster: Everyone saw me in your kitchen too Rio: not everyone Rio: she wasn't there, I'm 100% she stayed Rio: they were just bringing back the two little ones and then mum was going back Buster: I can't fucking remember Rio: I can Rio: I know who was there Rio: I had to talk to them after you bolted Rio: I know she wasn't Buster: Alright Buster: & Nance can back up how it was when we last saw each other Rio: Yeah Rio: as far as everyone knows we still just tolerate each other at functions Rio: if my parents want a reason why you came over, we can think of one, easy Buster: Yeah Buster: & I'm going home in the morning Rio: Right Rio: out of sight out of mind Buster: School starts soon, I won't be dragged back for months Buster: I can do loads more bad shit than this in that time Buster: Deflect Rio: you already have today Rio: everyone would think it was a joke Buster: Exactly Buster: I can pull hot older women, why would I bother with you Rio: Okay Buster: Okay then Rio: Don't delete everything Rio: that will look weird Rio: tolerate each other or not there can't be nothing Buster: I'll keep you saying you hate me Rio: Bit intense Buster: Still believable Buster: Ask Nance Rio: I ain't her Buster: I can be as mean to you as I am to her Buster: Easy Rio: Again, too much Rio: this is how we got here Rio: ambivalence Buster: Calm down Buster: I can do that too Buster: As easily Rio: Sure Buster: Worry about yourself Rio: I am, don't worry Buster: I ain't, you've got more to lose than me Buster: You'll keep it together Rio: No one's losing anything Buster: Just Janis & her innocence Rio: Don't joke Rio: omg Buster: I'm not Rio: Then shut up Buster: Fine Buster: We're done anyway Rio: just delete the messages after Rio: don't lie Buster: I'm not lying either Buster: What else is there to say? Rio: Seriously Buster: Seriously Rio: Fine Buster: Don't lie Rio: What else is there for me to say? Buster: You tell me Buster: There's clearly something else you wanna Rio: I told you, there was loads I wanted to say Rio: and you said I could trust you Rio: shit's gotta change but now you ain't saying nothing and you don't trust me Buster: You also said we wouldn't get caught Buster: Shit has changed Rio: And you don't even know if we did Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Fine then Buster: Get a grip, Cavante Buster: For your own sake Rio: Fuck off Rio: you're freaking out here Buster: Fuck you Buster: It was a kiss, we've been there before Rio: Exactly Rio: you want me to make it into this whole huge thing Buster: I want you to stop being a pussy & handle it Rio: Worry 'bout yourself Rio: if you're so concerned, you do something about it Buster: Alright, I will Rio: Cool Buster: [when you bribe Janis with boxing related shit like lessons or something idk] Rio: [hitting the drink] Buster: Don't Rio: I'm not an idiot, Buster Rio: I'm not gonna get wasted and spill all Buster: Says you Buster: Using my name's too intimate for what we're supposed to be, don't you reckon Rio: What else would you like me to call you Buster: Use your imagination Rio: I have Buster: Good Rio: Are you done lecturing me Buster: [does a cheers at her with his drink] Rio: [does it back and downs it] Buster: [downs his too] Rio: [just on your phone hitting up new options 'cos gotta go] Buster: [likewise sexting some girl cos need the distraction but if you bring her to the flat your mum will actually kill you] Rio: [when the other kids keep trying to hit you up and you're like nah] Buster: [getting them nudes you don't really want] Rio: [when you hear that boy racer pulling up before she's even out, when your mum is like umm but you gone] Buster: [when you have to pretend you don't notice/care]

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duanecbrooks · 7 years

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A Sight For Sore Eyes It's what could be called an old-time flick, having been released in--steady yourself--1969. It features two leads who have long, long, long since gone off the radar, namely Jacqueline Bisset and Jim Brown (Actually, Brown has only sunk from sight as an actor. He has for some time had a third-act career--he began as a pro-football heavyweight, remember?--as an entrepreneur). Having been released in, as was mentioned, 1969, its filmic style and the motivations of its characters would, in this overflowing-with-political-correctness age, likely be dismissed as greatly dated, even rather philistine. However... As the theatrical film The Grasshopper, which first unspooled in said year and which stars said folks--and which, in a leonine change-of-pace, I saw not on DVD but (and this is not a typo) on YouTube--proves, it is very much worth re-visiting, being--say what you will about it being Old Hat--an incisively-written, maturely-directed and, its strongest suit, sensitively-performed drama about following dreams, dealing with what life throws at you while you pursue those dreams, and, at last finally, is a cautionary tale concerning the fate of those who thoroughly, totally surrender their positivism, who allow themselves to be entirely swept up in all the crap that comes their way. The long-popular assertion goes: "Be careful what you wish for, for you might well get it." What The Grasshopper, with considerable style and genuinely impressive intelligence, says is: "Be sure to have a realistic perspective about what you wish for, otherwise there'll be hell to pay." Let's get to the picture itself. We open with its heroine, 19-year-old Christine Adams (Bisset), sneaking down the steps of her house and outside--the latter after leaving a good-bye note for, as we'll come to discover, her parents--carrying luggage and, eventually, getting into a convertible and driving off. After she goes a distance, we see her car conk out and Christine having to hitch a ride. As she and her driver are riding along, she fills him, and us, in on her story: She's going to L.A. to hook up with her boyfriend, who works in that city. Also: Her past home life was far from tranquil, as is demonstrated via a flashback, wherein Christine thinks back to her incessantly warring parents. It all culminates in Christine giving her driver, and us, a verbal sketch of what she wants her life to be ("It's very simple. What I want is to be totally happy, totally different, and totally in love"). In time she's taken up by one Danny Raymond (Corbett Monica, a stand-up performer who was quite popular at the time), a Las Vegas-based comic whose humor fails to impact our girl (He freely acknowledges: "I'm not too funny, but you can't expect brilliance in the middle of the desert"). We press on. While transporting Christine, Raymond stops off at his employment base, namely Vegas, where he attends to some business and Christine takes in the sights and, in time, is summoned back to Raymond's side (He has the hotel announcer intone: "Will Christine The Hitchhiker please report to the front desk?"). Eventually she, and we, meet Tommy Marcott (Brown), a former pro-football star who is employed by the hotel as, well, a lure, as a celebrity whose fame is used to bring in customers. We also see Raymond trying to get close to Christine and she firmly resisting ("No, Danny. I like you. You're a lot of fun") but Raymond not being in the least dissuaded ("Stick around a few more minutes. I hate to be alone"). At last finally Christine gets to L.A. and Eddie, with whom she entreats to have a baby with her. Yet life with Eddie turns out to be far from the Paradise Lost she imagined and hoped it would be, as her job as Eddie's sister bank teller, she finds out to her dismay, is routine and boring (In an attempt to put some life into her life, she hands a customer the following note: "This is a hold-up. Give me your money and don't touch the alarm"). At one point she goes for a walk and, gazing into the windows of the other apartments, she sees the inhabitants fighting between themselves and otherwise engaged in the kind of dullish, mind-numbing activities she hates with a passion. Thus our gal leaves Eddie and returns to Vegas and Raymond. To go forward: At first Christine's hooking back with Raymond turns out to be very pleasant for both of them (We see Christine happily lying in bed next to Raymond and his saying into the phone: "I gotta go now, 'cause there's this gorgeous girl just dyin' for my body"). Yet it all ends when Christine is informed by Raymond that his ex and their offspring are coming to visit. Next we see our heroine audition for a position as a showgirl. At first her auditioner is quite skeptical (Christine: "I did Little Women in school." Auditioner: "Did you do it nude?"), telling her: "Showgirls gotta have gigantic tickets [breasts]." Christine doesn't shirk at the least upon hearing this, firing back: "In my hometown I was considered one of the over-developed girls." At last finally Christine unbuttons her blouse and proudly shows her auditioner her "tickets," which causes the auditioner to happily hire her (The auditioner asks Arnold, his barber at the time: "Would you pay $12.50 to look at that [Christine's fully-exposed bosom]?" When Arnold smiles affirmatively, that to the auditioner is the deciding factor, which causes Christine to say: "Thank you, Arnold"). From there we witness our girl as part of the hotel's regular showgirl line-up and getting the 411 from a sister showgirl ("There are only two kinds of dancers in this line: great dancers and girls with friends") and, later, catching a performance by the hotel's resident rock group, The Ice Pack, wherein she becomes fast friends with a devoutly homosexual member of the group. Their friendship develops to the point where Christine informs him of her hopes and dreams ("I was thinking of becoming a stewardess...I like people. Maybe I'll meet a nice guy") and, after debating whether God did indeed create the world or whether the human race evolved from monkeys, standing side-by-side one night and gazing at the stars (Christine: "When you look out there, there's got to be a God." Homosexual buddy: "Or one hell of a monkey"). Going on: Christine's former beau Eddie comes to town, accompanied by his wife and their baby, all of whom, after a visit with Christine, make her quite wistful. Afterward she has further association with Marcott, who makes it abundantly clear that he kowtows to nobody unless he absolutely has to ("I used to be eight years old...I don't say anything unless I mean it"), and rebels when, during a conversation with some financiers, his employer casually manhandles him ("Don't do that, man. You make me feel like a piece of meat"). We then see Christine and Marcott riding a merry-go-round and the former further contending what she wants and expect regarding her life ("Sure I know what I want out of life. No, I don't. Yes, I do") and the workings of her inner self ("No matter where I am or what I'm doing, somewhere in the back of my head I'm thinking somebody is having more fun than I am"). They talk more and they exchange dialogue on Christine's priorities concerning her romantic life (Christine: "I hurt that guy I grew up with [Eddie]. And he hurt me." Marcott: "Everybody gets hurt"). Christine fervently urges that she and Marcott live together rather than get married but he loses no time shooting down that notion ("I've been that route. I don't want a chick to shack up with. I don't want a pad, I want a home"). At long last they decide to elope, which, when the woman at the Vegas chapel they turn to sees them with another couple, makes her quite antsy (Woman, into the phone: "I'm serious, Ted. A white girl, a Negro, a Jap, and a sissy"). Grasshopper moves forward. Now Ms. Tommy Marcott, Christine sets herself to getting her new hubby a less degrading job with the hotel. While swimming, she pushes to one of the aforementioned hotel's bigwigs for Marcott to given higher standing and, when the bigwig balks, she flatly spits water in his face. Next we see her with another hotel higher-up making the same case and, again, being unsuccessful (Higher-up: "Only your husband is special at shaking hands." Christine, walking angrily away: "You're a bastard"). The ante is upped when Roosevelt Decker (Ramon Bieri), a particularly wealthy financier, enters Christine's life. She--unwisely, as she, and we, will come to discover--accompanies him to his hotel suite and, not surprisingly, Decker loses no time in making a play for her. Also not surprisingly, she fully rebuffs him ("Mr. Decker, I really enjoy talking to you. Can't we just be friends?"). Decker, alas for her, doesn't take this well, first openly disparaging Christine's hubby ("I'm as good as any nigger"), then going on from there to literally beat the crap out of her. When she arrives home afterward, she shuts herself up in the bathroom. When Marcott forcefully orders her to open the damned door ("If you don't open the door, I'm gonna break it down"), she does and he, along with us, get a full view of her battered and bruised face. Cut to Decker playing golf and Marcott coming after him right there on the greens. Decker runs away but Marcott soon catches up to him and gives him the same aggressive beating that he gave Marcott's wife. The very next scene has the Marcotts in a car, hubby at the wheel, driving away from Vegas and he making it fulsomely clear that from now on their lives are going to be very different ("I'm gonna find myself a job where I don't have to play the clown. And you're gonna be my wife"). We continue. We next see our young lady at a laundromat, washing clothes and unmistakably bored peeless. In an attempt to enliven things, she spreads laundry detergent upon the floor and does an impromptu dance for the others doing their laundry. Following is a scene where Christine's old buddies, The Ice Pack, sneak up on her and following that are scenes wherein she had the same blast with them as before. It all bleeds into her growing disenchantment with her life with Marcott and it culminates in her flat-out confronting him (Christine, standing defiantly over him as he's sitting in a chair: "You don't really like my friends [The Ice Pack], do you?" Marcott: "Look, Chris, are you trying to start a fight?" Christine, still defiantly: "Yeah, maybe I am. Anything to liven things up around here"). Yet Christine comes to shake off her antagonism toward her husband and open herself to him ("I thought if I loved you, everything would be all right"). Things, however, go badly when Marcott, in the midst of shooting hoops on outdoor basketball grounds, is fatally gunned down, no doubt by a fellow specifically hired by Decker. This of course devastates Christine, who deals with her mega-anguish by, during the ride back from the funeral, ordering the driver to stop and pick up these two hippie types whom she sees standing around ("I don't give a damn what you think! Pick them up or I'm gonna jump out!"). We proceed to see Christine pouring her heart out to her homosexual pal ("The worst part is, I can't even grieve for Tommy...If only I knew [my crying] was for Tommy and not for me") and said buddy coming clean regarding whether or not she'll get justice concerning Marcott's murder ("I don't think [the authorities are] even gonna touch Rosie Decker"). Having experienced the real deal in the aforementioned way, Christine returns to Vegas and her former employer, who offers her financial assistance--which she adamantly refuses ("Wait, let me get my tin cup"). Her ex-boss then suggests that she go back to hometown and try for "civilian" work--a suggestion she also rejects ("And be a secretary for $300.00 a week?...I don't want my life to be a cliche"). It's here where her former boss-man throws down the gauntlet: "You're not that talented. You got a pretty face and a nice body...You're an average girl. Why are you knocking yourself out [to Be Somebody]?" Our heroine's response cuts right to the heart of the matter: "Why not?" Going forth: Christine next hooks up with one Richard Sherman (Joseph Cotten), a highly rich older man who gives her a fur coat. Christine, naturally overjoyed at receiving such a present, hugs Sherman--which brings forth a lighthearted admonishment from him ("Christine, you'll break something!...There are certain rules you must follow when you're dating an older man"). Christine, for her part, solemnly assures him that he really and truly is The One ("I think what I've always wanted was a mature man, someone with whom I can have a real relationship"). Yet we next see the utter insincerity of her words, as we see her making out bare-ass-naked in the shower with Jay (Christopher Stone), a singer with The Ice Pack, who's also jaybird-naked. Christine, along with the rest of us, get the inside skinny on Jay's doings since Christine last saw him ("I didn't leave [The Ice Pack]. They fired me") and she gives him, and us picturegoers, the inside skinny about her actual needs ("I need someone. I'm lonely, Jay. I want to be in love"). Next: Christine is back with Sherman, who warmly extols her ("I'm not going to bore you with the old story of my wife not understanding me...You saved the day"). Afterward we see Chris back with Jay, who angrily lights into her ("Do you love me, Christine, or do you just think you do?...[W]hy don't you try the only thing you were ever any good at--balling?"). Jay winds up leaving Christine a "Dear John" note, and Christine, having reached the end of her rope emotionally/psychologically, gets this pilot to sky-write "Fuck it." (This being 1969, we natch don't see the full statement) As Christine is being taken in by the cops, she's asked how old she is. She replies rather listlessly: "22," which says volumes about all she's been through and the emotional/psychological toll it's all taken on her. There's The Grasshopper, a skillfully-made cautionary tale about what happens to those who don't take care while pursuing their dreams. Ramon Bieri wholly chills the blood as Christine's eventual assaulter. The men in her life--Brown, Cotten, Monica, Stone--are all virile and appealing, each in their own ways, to make you see why Christine stayed with them as long as she did. The then-red-hot writing team of Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson (also Grasshopper's producers) come up with many engaging characters and many heart-tugging romantic entanglements. And as director, Jerry Paris--who would work with Garry in the future, helming many a Happy Days episode--deftly pushes the proceedings along, never, ever allowing even an iota of schmaltz or grandstanding to show. And one of the picture's key numbers, "Used To Be," is sung with impressive feeling by the intensely-beloved Carol Burnett sidekick Vicki Lawrence. And at last finally there's Jacqueline Bisset. She is, quite simply, radiant. With her stylish beauty, her beauty-queen charm, and her lightning-rod energy, she absolutely walks off with the picture. Her smooth good looks and her volcanic sexiness positively dominate every scene she's in, easily heralding her breakthrough performance in her signature theatrical film The Deep (Fess up: Is there any one of us men who, when we look back on said picture, does not mightily drool at the memory of the opening when, while underwater, Bisset exposed her oh-so-succulent breasts?). Indeed, it's Bisset's Grasshopper portrayal that brings out this unarguable fact: Motion pictures were the most effective as a visual medium, when they entirely eschewed aesthetic considerations and presented luscious, well-bodied players who enchanted us with their vitality and their charm. It was the 1950s cinematic sexpot Ava Gardner who, in her classic personal/professional memoir, freely acknowledged, concerning her heyday: "I wasn't an actress--none of us kids at Metro [-Goldwyn-Mayer] were. We were just good to look at." In point of fact--and Bisset in Grasshopper abundantly proved this--pictures were at their best when they sidestepped artistic aspirations and simply gave us performers who "were...good to look at." (Television is, in the main, fantastically moronic. But the redemptive factor regarding it is that it's a visual medium. There's none of this crap about the director or about how some star "fell in love with the script." All that's necessary is to put Pamela Anderson or Carmen Electra or whoever on camera showing skin--or to put Kerry Washington on camera, period--and the battle is won) It was the fiercely-esteemed big-screen director Bruce Beresford who, in a forward to a compilation of picture reviews by a then-well-known critic, asserted: "I know it's not politically correct to say it...but...watching beautiful girls can do a lot to relieve tedium." It is "watching" Jacqueline Bisset, the "beautiful girl" of The Grasshopper, that "does a lot" to keep said picture from becoming "tedious." And how glad we are to have that specific "relief."

#1969 #jacqueline bisset #jim brown #the grasshopper #youtube #dreams #christine adams #Tommy Marcott #las vegas #l.a.#joseph cotten #Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson #jerry paris #used to be #vicki lawrence #the deep #ava gardner #Bruce Beresford

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