#I might change her name to Madi idk

[rowenas-my-fave-child]

Anya got a new design

It’s small I really just made her hair a bit longer and made her outfits less dependent on the color red

[anshiel]

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS PLS

there r so many and i am going 2 explode now, you have opened pandoras box

i am, i am going 2 start with ones i amn thinking about, which are ocs from an original story about destiny, because

The three main characters for the story which wip name rn might just be split destiny(abbreviation: two of a kind) it's about two kid's who accidentally get chosen under the same destiny despite it only being meant for one person and their mentor, Süsi who was kinda trying to get that.(not sure about the names because i thought mason and peggy at first but now kinda just wanna use the estonian ones i thought for them, Tiivi and Madis)

The three main characters for the story, images of them:) (timeskip versions of Tiivi and Madis in the top right one, tiivi digital sketches from me trying to figure out her colors)

ohk, details nd characters, Tiivi's a high energy person in general and positive for the most part, has had the ability to speak to animals forever. She's someone who's always wanted adventure and felt special so she was pretty thrilled to have something greater than life happen to her, summons a sword or spear thanks to the chosen one biz. She finds out her mother(who she hasn't seen in years and barely remembers) is very much active in the magic world and has a whole phoenix and rebirth theme going on(also doing some shady stuff), Also finding out she has an older brother she never met apparently, he's got plant powers (seems to be working for some sort of magical authority?).

Madis is very much more of a wallflower and has a tendency to draw in on himself and also ignore anything strange happening around him including his luck powers which is why he is at all not happy with what happened and would like to live a normal life, summons a scythe or shield. He lives with his aunt and has a cat, didn't know his parents, does seem to have some talent when it comes to this magic stuff and has eyes on him.

oooohg, let's get to tha mentor, Süsi, they do not know what they are doing teaching these children. He's been doing this awhile and has a whole detective thing going on (because i am like this and like making detective characters), seem to work place to place, generally seems mysterious, she's got a whole fire and dragon theme going on and also may have escaped death one too many times.

post timeskip a lotta changes happen and developments, Süsi goes into hiding, Tiivi keeps learning magic and also doing odd jobs with her brother and Madis goes to do normal teenager things back at home.

They try to keep in touch, in this period might also find more out about how their powers are connected and a mental link.

This story idea mostly came about out of kid me's anger at the lack of male female friendships and deciding i have to do this myself(Madis and Tiivi aren't even the first time i decided "actually this boy and girl character's would die for eachother and are not at all romantically invoved, fuck you" you can see a lotta YA. novels and cartoons pissed me off with that)also apparently i just wrote a snippet of a depressed boy and cheerful girl in like 2009? idk i was like 10 and had an assignment for writing and that also led to this.

(oh god there's so many miscellaneous sketches here of the cast for this shit)

There's also a shady school in this, mostly pre-timeskip and some immortal fuckos(to be fair one of them's trying to stop the other one, there's implications of them being connected in this cycle due to similar reasons that Tiivi and Madis are connected to eachother), also everyone aspec, süsi has an ex gf(Linda) in this that works for said school and seems blind to any wrongdoings by her workplace. Also a selkie girl at same school who's her prodigy gets a crush on Tiivi because i like to put lesbianism in my stories.

here's more recent sketches on my tablet from their postimeskip looks and also messy rough comics of scenes i have in my head during late night because thinking about them and need to get these thoughts out or else i will not sleep

anyways THANK YOU 4 the ask so i can ramble about my cringe ass nae-nae ocs(despite this i still have hundreds of other ocs and stories i have not mentioned here because this post is long enough, most likely have posted sketches of em but this does remind me i should try posting about them more again)

(follow up)

[sometimesrosy]

What does your instinct say as to how the Bellarke story will end? Whats your prediction? Me hoping for endgame ♥️

I am almost positive that Bellarke is a romantic endgame, because the story places them at the center of the narrative and their relationship has gotten more and more romantic as the seasons continued.

I am not so positive that Bellarke will get a happy ending and live together the way we’d like. They might die together. Which would be a bittersweet ending, as they’d be TOGETHER, but their journey would be over. 

I don’t think one would die leaving the other behind, although JR MIGHT go for that tragic ending. But it would leave one of them just surviving, rather than living, so it’s pretty grim. But if it DOES happen, they will be romantic canon before that happens and probably have a baby, which means it would have to be Clarke surviving, even though I think that story HAPPENED already, with s4. Although it’s possible that Bellamy could survive and in his grief be alone, although Echo MIGHT be there to pick up the pieces. That would be terribly tragic, but at least he wouldn’t be alone. I dont’ think it a likely ending though. 

Back to that Clarke surviving, with a baby. Okay, like i said, that happened in s4 (with madi as the child) and she nearly broke, but did manage to make it through. In order for this ending to happen, though, I think it would have to be TRANSFORMED so that we can see the development of the characters. It can’t just be a replay. They have to do it RIGHT this time. We’ve already seen Bellamy saying he can’t do that again, and he’s managed to fix the story there. 

But what if it’s reversed this time. And BELLAMY is about to be the one who stays behind to save everyone, thus sacrificing himself, and at the last minute, instead of closing the door and leaving him behind like Bellamy did in s4, she closes the door with HERSELF on the outside too, and joins Bellamy in whatever noble self sacrifice he’d intended in order to save his people and all humanity. 

“Together,” she says. Of course. 

No more, “I left her behind and we all die anyway.” He regretted it immediately, that leaving her behind. He would have preferred to die with her. 

Only she didn’t die, did she? 

So the tragedy there is that Clarke was ALONE, and Bellamy thought she was dead. So the way to replay that narrative, with the twist of the development the characters have been through to FIX the situation, is for Clarke to stay behind with Bellamy and do whatever it was together. 

ONLY

Plot twist: Bellamy and Clarke don’t die. It’s the anomaly, so instead of killing them, it sends them somewhere, or they get left in disconnected stream of time, idk. In my mind, the place they need to go back to is the earth. That’s the dream, right? From the opening scene of The 100. 

The rest of their friends and family think they are dead and sacrificed. Maybe they close the anomaly, I don’t know, no one else can follow it. Or not. Who knows. BUT whoever is left behind, Raven, Murphy, Madi, etc. They can’t stay where they are. Maybe Jordan, as his father’s son, believes he has the ability to fix the earth. Probably with algae, let’s be honest. So maybe instead of fleeing sanctum and the five colonies, our heroes get on the Eligius ship, go into cryo and go back to Earth as a MISSION to heal what has been broken. 

Maybe Octavia decides to go, as she’s finally taken on Lincoln’s concept that we are responsible for our monster when we let it out. And that means humanity has to fix what they destroyed. The earth. Raven takes off from Sanctum, and for once, she’s taking off of a planet that’s not on fire. 

They go back to earth where Green is going to attempt to make it green again (Make Algae Not War.) And land on the one spot that’s green, Eden of course, and find a thriving peaceful civilization.

75 years in the future (since they were in cryo) Bellarke never died. They were sent back to earth by the anomaly, to the destroyed earth. And they were left to live their lives in peace and happiness, to create that society and life that Miller, Bryan, Monty and Kane dreamed. And they either meet the ancient Clarke and Bellamy, or see a video of their lives where they are talking to their friends finally coming back to earth, and we see them get older, have kids, have survivors from the dead earth show up so they can make a new world, a new earth.

A beginning for humanity, without war.

That’s my spec. I’ve been working on it since the s5/6 hiatus. I used to think time travel, but the anomaly is more like space travel with time hijinks. I used to think they’d go back to earth at the end of s6, but s6 and s7 seem to be one continuous story. But there are some elements that need to come together. Bellarke need to be together. They need to go back to earth to fix what they did to it. Octavia needs to be fully redeemed as the symbol of humanity, in order for humanity to be restored. Bellamy needs to have his “mythic name” like Wanheda, and I suspect it might be something along the lines of “key.” Bellarke need to mirror Marper’s ending, the bittersweet happy ever after. Their PEOPLE need to win the battle, even if Bellarke is sacrificed to get it (that’s the bittersweet. They have victory but lose the people they love.) Jordan can fix the failures of Monty and Jasper, he can recover from his trauma from sanctum, like Jasper couldn’t, and his algae can save the world like Monty’s couldn’t. And Raven gets to take off of a planet without it being on fire.

This is a theory I’ve shared before, although this one comes from a different direction. Check the tags to see what else I’ve said. It’s changed and grown over time. I JUST figured out that Green will probably be a verb for Jordan which means like in s5, Monty’s algae WILL be the answer. And he said he could use it to make the land grow again, just like he did the cryo farm. 

The earth HAS to come back, otherwise they’ve failed as heroes saving humanity. Becuase humanity has to be responsible for the damage they did. They can’t just leave it behind and find new planets, that’s colonialism and turns humanity into a cancer, that spreads from planet to planet using up resources. (didn’t jasper say that human’s were the disease? also in one of JR’s references, the anomaly was the cancer, and they had to stop it. so it wouldn’t be so weird if humanity was the cancer in this one. or parts of humanity.)

So this theory would actually have Clarke and Bellamy dying in the end. Or near the end. Fandom will be DISTRAUGHT.

But what i’m saying is they won’t be dead, they will be transported. DEATH IS NOT THE END, yo. And long after our heroes think they are dead and try to continue on without them, BOOM. Here they are, living marperly ever after in the after life, paradise, peace on earth and chickens in the yard. Honored by their society as the people who saved humanity.

It’s a bold speculation,  but I’m seeing a lot of clues. Of course I won’t get everything right, but over the past year this theory has developed along with the new revelations. The anomaly and the other colonies are still the biggest wildcard. Also cadogan and sheidheda. I don’t know their stories. Or how they work. I suspect there’s an anomaly on earth. There’d have to be if cadogan is there since we know he was on earth with Becca when she died. 

Oh. Maybe Becca and Cadogan figured out the tech to do the anomaly, and Becca tried to stop it, because the last time her tech went rogue and killed everyone, so this time she’s wary, and she sees the potential for evil with the anomaly. So she tries to pull the plug. Which Cadogan (probably the ‘him’ who let ALIE out) does not like, because he’s a doomsday cultist. This would explain Becca’s dying words, “You dont’ understand Cadogan, I’m trying to save us all.” Or such. So he kills becca, enacts the anomaly, flees to another planet with hsi followers, but maybe someone stops the anomaly from being used again on earth or whatever. Or maybe everyone from shallow valley was actually FROM the anomaly, and they forgot it all after the anomaly faded. Oh these are all new theories. sorry. and not bellarke. 

[mxlxdroit]

black sails s4e1 liveblog

the last season. wow. ok here we go

zach mcgowan’s name no longer being in the credits makes me kind of sad. by the end of s3 i really liked vane

they open with flint quoting the bible. love this show. also his point about the allinace of pirates he’s relying on being very tenuous is true

silver: if it makes you feel any better,

flint: ‘a little.’ lol. silver is still kind of a shit and i love him for it. i also appreciate that he and flint have a shared sense of humor

this is a bad picture but madi’s outfit here is great. i’ll be interested to hear more from her about why she doesn’t trust flint

jack knows how to give orders to an active crew now! growth. he’s gained blackbeard’s respect as well. also

it’s a trap! flint it’s so clearly a trap

ok i’ll give woodes rogers this one- he knows how to defend nassau

this is stressing me out so bad i’m going to save this as a draft and go watch something else. maybe go to sleep. idk i’ll be back

ok it’s several days later and i’m back

silver: if we don’t get these men off the ship, they’re dead

flint: if we don’t find a way to harass those guns, everyone’s dead

that sums up their priorities and dynamic at this point in the show huh

i hate woodes rogers.

nooooo the walrus… my baby :(

bear mccreary outdid himself on this one. 3.10 and 4.1 have some of the best scores in the show so far

aw shit this is so bad. i know silver doesn’t die but a lot of the other men do. and the walrus. i’m actually upset about them sinking the walrus. flint’s BOOKS are on that ship dammit!

‘my wife… i get why she did it but like. eleanor why

as someone who embroiders? mood. also it’s so weird to see eleanor still in her noblewoman clothes and embroidering, being hidden from a fight. i like scenes where she acts like she did before- cussing out soldiers, cussing while embroidering, taking over for rogers when he’s sick… she’s the same person, just trying really hard to be someone else

ok the show just said what i said so i feel validated. eleanor’s like ‘i’m a noblewoman now, so i might as well put in the effort to play the part.’ max is like ‘it bothers me that faking your personality doesn’t seem to bother you that much.’ eleanor: ‘we are who we are. nothing so important changes so quickly.’ SO GOOD

oof. OOF. i don’t think flint realizes how like. he’s just let madi know he has feelings for silver that are similar to hers. but he definitely has

silver: when flint and i are of the same mind we can do literally anything. i don’t know why that is. he doesn’t know why that is

madi: u may not know, but i have a pretty good idea

i also think madi is right about flint needing silver more than silver needs flint. i don’t like it tho bc i like flint more than i like silver lololol so i want their weird codependent relationship to continue bc it allows flint to be who he is. also silver has an advantage in that he has both flint and madi as friends/lovers (as well as having the men, sort of), while flint literally only has silver

YES ANNE. have i mentioned how much i love clara paget before because i love clara paget. she is so charismatic

woodes rogers is so mystified why nobody has offered him assistance in capturing the pirates… it’s because they don’t like you, king! ok it’s actually way more complicated than that in that you’re going against their status quo and offering them security over freedom which makes them unlikely to trust you even if they generally agree with you and also they’re all former pirates so they still have some loyalty to their brothers on the seas etc. but not liking you personally doesn’t help

NOOOO mr. de groot

‘flint’s inner circle’ lmao. good on him for telling rogers to go fuck himself tho

flint is lit and framed like he’s a shadow in his own house

woodes rogers’ comparison between what would happen if flint’s men captured 121 of his men vs what he’s going to do with flint’s men now that he’s captured 121 of them is so interesting to me. he wants to treat them humanely, in a civilized way- but their “trials” will still result in them losing their freedom or losing their lives. is it really more civilized to drag out that process if the laws are unjust and punitive? and if they will result in the same outcome?

oh billy. ohhhhh billy. and flint! their pride is getting in the way of everything like i GET it you guys have some nasty history but is this really what’s important right now? aaand madi to the rescue!!! only sane person on this show. i don’t think she’s going to end up queen of nassau but she’d be damn good at it

the whole scene with silver swimming makes me feel like i can’t breathe

oh my god the fucking dairy goat. it’s going to die. ok ya it did

i’m glad they lampshade the fact that jack could have killed woodes rogers in the carriage fight. he’s not the killing type, though

jack cares abt their legacy, anne cares abt their future… anne has figured out her identity while jack still feels insecure in his… anne isn’t willing to risk her life to avenge vane’s death while both jack and teach are willing to do really stupid things… so good so complicated i can’t even fully express all the layers of this scene

eleanor is realizing that rogers is going to take her sacrifices for granted because he doesn’t understand that they are sacrifices- and he still doesn’t respect max! and eleanor is like shit this did not turn out how i planned, this is the second relationship i’ve had with a man where he doesn’t view me as an equal only this time we’re actually fucking married and i have to deal with it maturely

rogers has fallen into the great trap of the noble cishet white man in england of this era- debt. money can be a great equalizer (allowing max to be powerful despite what england says, and rogers to be in deep shit despite his privilege).

good on eleanor for offering to use her family’s name to help him out. i may hate his guts but i respect what she’s doing here

oooh long john silver babey!

[alwaysupatnight]

Since you sent me an a bonus two, I am taking that as a greenlight to send even more! How about Kate Fuller and looking through your tags: Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) and Edward Elric (Full Metal Alchemist) 💖

omg this took forever!! lmaooo Thanks for all the characters though!! :D

Kate Fuller

Why I like them: My love!! I went into FDTD already a fan of Madie’s but Kate quickly became one my fave characters!! I love that she’s so small and cute but will absolute wreck you if you mess with her or someone she cares about!! lmfao She’s so fierce when she needs to be and doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she’s also so nurturing and forgiving and I think we all need a little of that in our lives. Absolute sunshine, not to be taken for granted.

Why I don’t: Sometimes she goes a little too far tbh. She doesn’t know when or how to say no. It’s not that I don’t like that about her, but it absolutely gets her into situations that could otherwise be avoided.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Again season 2 episode 1!! I love how she sasses Seth in that episode. lol

Favorite season/movie: Hmm... maybe season 1.

Favorite line: “...So you’re gonna put this car into drive, and you’re gonna step on that pedal, or I’m gonna Bible-thump your ass all the way back to Kansas! NOW!” LMFAOOO

Favorite outfit: I think her black American Eagle jacket and jeans with the black boots outfit has become so attributable to her character in my mind. When I think of Kate she’s wearing either that outfit or the one she wears at the end of s1. I think those are my faves. Also Amaru’s outfit looked totally amazing on Madie!!

OTP: Sethkate obvs

Brotp: I’m gonna go with Kate and Rafa. He was too good!! I totally would ship them romantically too ngl. They were precious together!!

Head Canon: Ugh again with the head canons... lmao I kinda always believed she’d wanna study engineering of some kind if given the chance to go to back and finish school. Everyone always wants to make her a nurse or a teacher or something, and I can totally see that. But I like the idea that she’s interested in how things work. I totally wanna write a mechanic Kate au one of these days.

Unpopular opinion: idk that I have any unpopular opinions about her... She made some questionable decisions in season2, but I forgive her for making me suffer.

A wish: That she hadn’t mf DIED!! BECAUSE I SUFFERED OKAY. WORRYING FOR MONTHS THAT IT HAPPENED TO ME YET AGAIN AND THAT MY FAVE WAS DEAD. Also that she had gotten more screentime in season 3. She barely had a few minutes. It wasn’t fair. And I wish that Richie had owned up to his part in her death.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Romantic tres geckos. No thanks!!

5 words to best describe them: Too good for this world

My nickname for them: Seth’s badass beautiful young wife. That’s my tag name for her. :P Also Kate Gecko.

-

Joel Hammond

Why I like them: OMFG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! lmao I love that he’s so dedicated to his family. And he LOVES Sheila more than anything, even though she’s become a zombie and her entire personality changes on him and eats people now, but he stays with her and never gives up on her. Even though he’s highkey stressed 100% of the time. :P

Why I don’t: I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about him tbh??

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Ughhh idk I loved all the episodes tbh. But one of my favorite scenes was in season 3 after he and Eric do the zombie killing training and Eric says “Joel touched me” XD

Favorite season/movie: IDK. Maybe a tie between s1 and s3.

Favorite line: haha idk I can’t remember any in particular except “You’re killing it!” when he finds out Abby soaked his iron skillet in the sink :P

Favorite outfit: I don’t think I have one? I never really paid attention tbh.

OTP: Joel and Sheila!! They belong together!!

Brotp: Joel and Eric!! forever dying at those two. I love their relationship so much!!

Head Canon: I never thought about it tbh...

Unpopular opinion: Don’t have any!!

A wish: THAT THE SHOW HADN’T BEEN MF CANCELED AND WE COULD’VE GOTTEN TO SEE WHAT ZOMBIE JOEL WOULD’VE BEEN LIKE. FOREVER SCREAMING AT NETFLIX FOR CANCELING ALL MY FAVE SHOWS WTF.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: that his personality would be really different from his original one after turning into a zombie

5 words to best describe them: Best husband in the world

My nickname for them: don’t have one!!

-

Edward Elric

Why I like them: I really loved his relationship with Alphonse!! They meant everything to each other!! I haven’t seen FMA anything in a long time, or I’m sure I would remember more things I liked. :P

Why I don’t: Okay I found the Brotherhood anime Edward pretty goddamn annoying sometimes with all the screaming and cartoony reactions to things...

Favorite episode (scene if movie): idkkkkk

Favorite season/movie: I definitely preferred the 2003 anime... Brotherhood might be canon but idgaf!! I still haven’t read the manga. :P

Favorite line: “You’ve got a good, strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use ‘em.” haha idk I haven’t seen either anime in so long but that one comes to mind... there’s so many different versions of it. :P

Favorite outfit: He literally always wears the same thing. lol

OTP: ehh... I mean everyone ships him with Winry but I didn’t really ship him with anyone? I know he and Winry are canon. idgaf though. I hated that she was always fucking hitting him in Brotherhood and though I did think they were really cute in the 2003 series it didn’t really go there?

Brotp: Ed and Al forever!! Their relationship is my favorite thing about the series!! omfg I cried when I watched the Shamballa movie when Al says “brother” in his sleep, stuck in the other world. T_T I know it’s not “canon” but the brothers’ relationship is developed soooooo much better in the 2003 series and movie.

Head Canon: don’t got any!!

Unpopular opinion: NGL I loved the 2003 anime soooo much more than Brotherhood because they didn’t cut every potentially emotional scene off at the knees with some comedic BS to lighten the mood. The 2003 series really gave the story and characters time it needed, and it really allowed us to get to know the brothers and grow an attachment to those characters. That series just had wayyyy better character development imo and I really grew to love Ed and Al so much because of it!! I haven’t actually read the manga still after all this time. lol I’ve been meaning to.

A wish: idk... I haven’t been in that fandom for ages...

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I can’t think of anything...?

5 words to best describe them: haha I hate this question

My nickname for them: don’t have one :P

[thefatlannister]

do you think they’ll come back to the whole “how’d you do it” convo with bellamy and clarke and he’ll find out about how she radioed him everyday? or do you think that was that cus it felt like a good place for her to tell him but she was also like yeet when an emotional aspect to the conversation came up

Well this is the question isn’t it?? I think everyone in the Bellarke fandom is probably asking themselves this right now.

So, I’ve been team “I don’t think they’re going to address the 2199 calls” since the beginning of the season. That’s for a couple of reasons: 1) I’m trying to lower my own expectations lol but mostly 2) Clarke does NOT say Bellamy’s name in 5x01, Eden. She says his name in the call at the end of 4x13, but the writers do not have Clarke SAY BELLAMY’s NAME in 5x01. Now, it’s extremely clear from context that he’s who she’s talking to (”I’m proud of you” + “this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive” + calling her other friends by name). 

So it’s not that I don’t think we’re meant to think Clarke was talking to Bellamy the whole time; it’s that after an 11 month hiatus, if “Clarke radioing Bellamy” was about to become a Big Romantic Catalyst for bellarke, I would expect the writers to really flag it in 5x01 by having Clarke say his name, thus kind of putting a pin in that for the general audience. So, going in to 505, I was very pessimistic about the chances of Clarke’s The Notebook calls to Bellamy ever being relevant again.

BUT THEN

When I was watching this scene, when Bellamy asked, “how did you do it?” I literally froze because - are they really going to go there??? are they really going to have her TELL him that she spoke to him every day?? that the memory of him, his love, his partnership, was what got her through?? Because honestly, between the pause and Eliza’s acting, and the awkward way the scene ended - with the conversation LITERALLY UNFINISHED - that’s how it FEELS. It feels like she was about to tell him that he helped keep her alive, but then she chickened out at the last minute.

Like, idk what the stage directions were, but Eliza’s acting here makes Clarke’s hesitation in response to this question very clear. And if the answer is only and always just “Madi,” what awkwardness is there to be had??? In any sort of just world, this “omission” on Clarke’s part is a set up for her to reveal, down the road, probably when her and Bellamy are embroiled in some sort of angsty conflict, that it was in fact HIM that helped her survive 6 years without a peer on the ground.

Now, I’m also not going to pretend that this show always does what is just lol. They drop threads all the time, and as Bellarke has been building for seasons now, there are several scenes that were seemingly set-ups for later reveals that were pretty much forgotten (2x09 “Love is weakness”/”I was being weak” and 4x06 “Clarke, if we don’t see each other again-” come to mind). However, there are a couple of reasons that I feel like s5 might be the season where these kinds of ~romantic bellarke~ threads actually come home to roost.

One of the reasons I think that is something that a lot of fandom, included myself, has picked up on, which is the relatively muted nature of Bellamy’s reaction to finding out Clarke is alive. Like, the cast and writers have told us until they’re blue in the face that Bellamy is less “heart” than he used to be, less fiery, but there’s a difference between finding balance and like, not having a visible/visceral/conflicted emotional reaction to finding out that, contrary to what you believed, you weren’t responsible for killing your best friend/partner/woman you’re lowkey in love with by proxy. 

Like Bellamy is clearly happy to have Clarke back, but he hasn’t verbalized really ANYTHING about how it feels to have this huge bomb dropped on him after he lived his life for six years in honor of her. After he mourned her and missed her and memorialized her and moved on from her. This omission of a nuanced reaction on Bellamy’s part makes me think either 1) the writers really fucked up and don’t care bout Bellamy/bellarke or 2) They’re saving big relationship-defining angst feelings about the Separation and Reunion for midseason Bellarke angst. Needless to say I’m hoping it’s door #2.

What does that have to do with the truncated fireside chat scene? Well, in my deepest darkest Bellarke wet dream fantasies, they have some blow up fights or angsty as shit moments later this season where all of these omissions and half truths and old wounds get put on the table, subsequently setting fire to the tentative automatic partnership bellarke have fallen back into. Something else that makes me hope we’re in for some knock-down, drag-out emotionally raw air-clearing angst is, of course, the last shot of 505. 

So I don’t know if the show is really going to go full love triangle, and honestly I don’t much care, because THIS SHOT is intentional. Arguably, the shot of Clarke’s reaction to becho kissing is the first objectively nonplatonic framing of bellarke in the show. This shot tells me the show is ready to acknowledge in some way that Bellamy and Clarke’s feelings for each other go beyond platonic partnership. And to me, THAT means the door is open for all their baggage to come home to roost later this season. Because we as a fandom know that if the writers ever had Clarke and Bellamy really fully put all their feelings on the table, there would be no backpedaling into platonic territory. But if they’re willing to frame shots like the one above, I think they might finally be ready to stop just dropping hints and actually follow their own trail of bread crumbs to some MAJOR developments on the bellarke front.

Which brings me back around (finally) to your questions: will Clarke ever tell Bellamy that she called him every day for six years? The short answer is i don’t know!! If we do indeed get some relationship-changing moments between Bellarke, I would say it is highly possible, even likely, because this fact would be such an emotional bombshell for them - for Clarke, because she would essentially be admitting out loud that she loves Bellamy, and for Bellamy because he wouldn’t be able to escape the implications of Clarke staying so intimately connected to him for 6 years while he thought she was DEAD.

And THAT’S why I think Clarke hesitated. Because Clarke had six years to come to terms with the fact that she loves Bellamy, a fact that she was able to work out for herself by “confiding” in him every day. But when Bellamy comes back down, she realizes that she was in love with the Bellamy that LEFT, the Bellamy that has remained static, a ghost at the other end of her radio for six years. But this Bellamy is solid and real and DIFFERENT and, as she finds out at the end of 505, this new Bellamy is someone else’s. This Bellamy has moved on from her in a way that she never did from him. 

So while I’m betting Clarke at the end of 505 was glad she hadn’t spilled the beans about Bellamy being her personal diary for 6 years earlier in the ep, I think it is a Definite Possibility that this fact comes back up at the MOST inconvenient (read: most CONVENIENT, for me) time so that Bellarke can really lean into that fucking angst like I know they want to. *Clarke voice* I still have hope. Here’s to the possibility of emotionally fraught Fights and Reconciliations and Realizations, anon. 

[head-and-heart]

I absolutely love S5 so far (Eliza is killing it!) But I'm really apprehensive about B/echo. They need to break up but I don't want the reason for their breakup to be cuz E/cho does something bad or cuz she lets him go. I want Bellamy to legitimately choose Clarke because his love for her is that great. I don't want it to feel like she's 2nd choice for Bellamy. Idk if this will happen though cuz I have a feeling Echo is going to walk away 1st. This love triangle sucks. How do u want them to end?

Okay, I actually really love this ask because it forced me to think more deeply about B.echo’s relationship and the trajectory that the writers could potentially be taking them on. 

Over the past few weeks I have been pretty vocal about how I am not a fan of B.echo’s relationship and I don’t really understand the purpose of why it needs to be romantic at all, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate here because you prompted me to think of one scenario that I would actually be pretty okay with - if executed properly, of course.

So here it is: My Ideal Version Of The B.echo Breakup

To start of this post, I want to just say that my current theory for Season 5 is that it is about all of our characters learning to find a balance between who they became during the six year time jump and who they have to be now that they are on the ground again (and - by extension - who they used to be pre-Praimfaya). 

For instance, Clarke has become more heart due to her relationship to Madi and - therefore - her character arc will likely be similar to Bellamy’s S1-S4 arc where she has to learn how to reign in her more impulsive instincts to protect her (like Bellamy did with Octavia) to find a balance between who she is now and the more head-based leader she used to be. 

But the same thing is going to be happening with some other characters on the show; namely, the one’s I want to talk about in this post are Bellamy and Echo.

We know that Bellamy and Echo have changed in the time that they spent up in space. We can tell from how they interact now (and it’s also why so many people feel disconnected from those characters right now). But I don’t think that these weird disconnected “six years have passed” versions of themselves are going to hold for much longer. The cracks are going to start to show - and probably in the next episode.

But first let’s talk about Echo.

Before going up to the Ark, Echo had never truly experienced peace time before. She was a royal guard, a spy, constantly being forced to do Nia’s dirty work and bending to her every whim (and then, eventually, to Roan). With this in mind, it’s not hard to believe that Echo probably never really had the opportunity to consider the kind of person she would be if she wasn’t working for someone else. Her role was to spy, to pretend to be someone else. But who is Echo when she’s not trying to “echo” someone else?

I’m not even sure that Echo, herself, knew when she set off in that rocket at the end of 4x13. 

Who is Echo when there is no one to fight or oppose? I’m sure this is a question she asked herself countless times during the years up in space. For the first time in forever, Echo has time forcing her to address the person that she has become and the person that she wants to be. 

I think that, deep down, Echo has always just wanted to be wanted and validated and accepted. Her most defining characteristic throughout the series has been her loyalty to the higher-ups in her life. She did everything for their satisfaction, their approval. But Nia never appreciated it and neither did Roan. He banished her, discarded her, just like Octavia does in 4x11.

And who came and picked her up, told her she was worth something, that she was strong? Bellamy Blake. Even despite all the times that she had betrayed him.

I think that moment, when he convinced her not to kill herself - that she was needed - was not only a defining moment for Echo herself, but for her relationship to Bellamy. Following that moment, I think Echo - who was directionless without a leader - turned to Bellamy to throw her loyalty behind. With Echo, her actions have never really been about what she believes in, but about what the leader she follows believes in. 

And what does Bellamy believe in? Honour, loyalty, compassion, empathy, trust. 

She wanted to become worthy of Bellamy, just like she wanted to become worthy of Nia and of Roan. So she spent every day up in those six years trying to change, trying to become that person who is compassionate and empathetic and trustworthy and solid and after such a long time trying to live up to a certain image, it only makes sense that she would become it eventually.

Echo became what she believes is the “ideal” version of herself: the version of herself that exists in a world without conflict, a world in which she is surrounded by people who all care very much about each other (and, eventually, her too). 

But that was space, that was peacetime. In those six years, Echo never had to think about who she is when there is someone new to fight, and there are people she cares about to defend. 

The summary for 5x07, “Acceptable Losses”, hints at Echo doing something that places her relationship to Raven at stake. I have a feeling that in Echo’s mission as a spy - the very same role she carried out for Nia and Roan - Echo is going to find herself being tempted to revert back to her old methods. 

Will she resist it? I’m sure she will. But I also think we wouldn’t get an episode summary of that nature if Echo doesn’t give in to her instincts. The extent to which she does? Well, that’s the question. But, as they say, old habits die hard, and I think Echo’s demons are going to act as a rude awakening for her this season now that she actually has something to lose.

And this isn’t me hating on Echo as a character. I think that, whatever it is that she does that threatens her relationship to Raven so much will - naturally - be framed as the same morally ambiguous situation that we always get on this show. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to cause friction between Echo and the rest of spacekru in the meantime.

Whatever it is that happens in 5x07, I think it will be what ultimately acts as a catalyst to destabilizing both Echo, herself, as well as her relationship to Bellamy. It might cause Bellamy to feel wary of her, start to wonder whether she has really changed as much as he thought she did back up on the Ark. He’ll probably be taken aback, maybe even feel betrayed. And, as for Echo, I think she’ll be facing an internal struggle with herself, trying to figure out how to balance her instincts with Echo the spy - the one who betrayed Bellamy so many times - with Echo the person, the one who found a family up in space. 

I don’t know who will decide to step away - if Echo will because she feels the need to separate herself to sort through her own issues, or if Bellamy will because he needs time to reflect on this new version of Echo that exists in wartime (and himself, of course) that he hasn’t met before. Ideally, they will mutually decide to take a break to reflect on themselves and their relationship to each other. Not ending on bad terms, but separating (at least temporarily) to figure out some personal shit.

But that is Echo. Let’s talk about the Bellamy side of things.

We know that Bellamy has spent the six years up in space trying to live up to Clarke’s words to him and become a more “head”-based leader in her absence. I’m sure he struggled with this for awhile, struggled not to give in to his emotions and his guilt and his anger (towards Echo). But, Bellamy’s journey up on the Ark was about him becoming a more objective, less emotional, holistic leader. 

Season 1 through Season 4 Bellamy might have held a grudge against Echo in those entire six years up in space. But Bellamy had taken Clarke’s words to heart (ha) about learning to let go of those more harmful emotions and taking on a more pragmatic approach to leadership. And that transition involved forgiving Echo. If he could let go of his anger towards her, then he could finally free himself to make the final step into his role as the head-based leader he believed Clarke wanted him to become. In forgiving Echo, he also made it possible to forgive himself and find peace in all of the the things he had to during his time on the Ground. 

In a way, Bellamy’s relationship to Echo is a symbolic representation of the final piece falling into place in his transition from “the heart” to “the head”. He has finally learned how to see the bigger picture, how to forgive not only Echo but also himself for all of the atrocities they committed on the Ground. 

Bellamy was able to become the head-driven leader that Clarke wanted him to be up on the Ark, but the Ark is not the ground, and I think in the episodes to come his new approach to leading is going to be tested. Something is going to make him snap, and I have a feeling that - just like with Echo - some of the instincts of the old Bellamy are going to seep back in. 

His old emotional and impulsive and reckless approach to functioning pre-Praimfaya didn’t work - it’s true. But neither did Clarke’s cold and detached “big picture” way of leading. And I think Bellamy’s going to find, for all he has tried to be that person who leads using his head first, it’s not a perfect solution, and he’s going to need to learn to balance the “heart” and the “head” now that it actually matters. 

Peace time was the warm-up. Earth is the test. 

So what does this mean for B.echo?

Well, like I said, I think they’re going to take some sort of break (most likely following 5x07) in which they will both embark on their own respective character arcs. 

Echo’s story will be about her learning to find a balance between the spy/ruthless warrior she used to be and the more peaceful and caring version of herself that she discovered on the Ark. It’s important for her to embark on this journey without being romantically attached to Bellamy because in all the seasons we have known her, Echo has always been dependent on other characters. I believe the main purpose of her journey this season will be Echo learning, for herself (without Bellamy there guiding her), who she is and who she wants to be. It’s about her becoming independent and making choices about who she is for herself and no one else for the first time, possibly ever.

Bellamy, as I said, will be embarking on a separate journey where he’s going to learn that the hollistic head-based leader he became on the Ark isn’t going to work for him on the ground and he will have to find a more balanced head/heart way of leading. For real, this time. During this time, the latter half of the season, I suspect Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship will become more of a focus as they both find a way to balance their old selves with their new selves - together. 

Over the course of the season, I think that, at first, these new version of each other may seem unfamiliar to Bellamy and Echo, but they will eventually come to understand and accept each other. Not for the versions of themselves that could only truly exist up in space, but for who they are now that they are on the ground.

My greatest hope for that whole plotline this season is that we get a moment of reconciliation near the end where Bellamy and Echo have a chance to reflect on their relationship and how they somewhat idealized each other on the Ark.

Echo idealized Bellamy because he was the first person who didn’t abandon her and take her for granted (like Roan and Nia did) and that idealization eventually turned into romantic affection. Her relationship and loyalty to Bellamy awakened something inside of Echo - this more caring and compassionate version of herself - that she needed to recognize, but now she needs to figure out who she is on her own. And, in a way, Bellamy forgiving Echo and starting to care for her was symbolic of him being able to forgive and care for himself in a way that his self-loathing never allowed him to do before. 

Bellamy and Echo’s relationship served a purpose up in space.They needed each other for a transitory period in their lives - to come to terms with who they are and who they need to be - but their arrival back on Earth ushers in a new transitory period (one that, unfortunately for their relationship, requires that they move in separate directions). 

This being verbalized would mark the beginning of a new kind of relationship where they accept each other for their true selves, acknowledging what they used to have, but also recognizing that the versions of who they are on the Ground don’t fit together in the same way. Their new relationship - while they may still care for each other - is of a different nature, no longer romantic.

I feel that handling the break-up in this way will treat Echo and Bellamy’s respective character arc’s with the attention and care that they deserve and also potentially make up for some of the discrepancies between their relationship pre-time jump and post-time jump (assuming they communicate/verbalize these concepts well). 

If we get to actually see Echo forced to face her old way of doing things with her new way of doing things, it creates an opportunity for the audience to witness her develop for real (rather than being told through exposition how she has changed) which might actually give the writers a hope in hell at getting us to care about her. And, likewise, this character arc for Bellamy of balancing the head and the heart would ensure that we also get to see him embark on that journey rather than just accepting he’s become the perfectly balanced leader Clarke wanted him to be over the six years that we missed. 

In this sense, B.echo’s relationship would not detract from either character’s arc this season but actually propel them (which, imo, is the only acceptable reason to introduce a relationship to us in this way). 

It also takes away the messiness and subtly misogynistic approach of Bellamy having to “choose” Echo or Clarke (like in a classic love triangle) if they acknowledge that Echo and Bellamy were good for the versions of each other they inevitably became up in space, but that they no longer fit together on the Ground (whereas that is always where Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship has thrived).

I know there is this fear in fandom that Clarke will come off as being a rebound or the “second choice” and, as much as we may want Bellarke, we don’t want it to be cheap. I do think, however, that if they end Echo and Bellamy’s relationship in the way that I described (with their development this season making them no longer romantically compatible, whereas it will reawaken the connection Bellamy and Clarke used to have) it won’t come off that way.

In this way, Bellamy “chooses” Clarke (so to speak), not because he is spiraling after his breakup with Echo, but because he loves her and because she fits with this version of himself on the ground in ways that Echo no longer does. And it would affirm that without screwing over Echo OR B.echo in the process.

I still don’t think Bellamy and Echo’s relationship necessarily had to be romantic for them to develop this way, but if this is the direction the writers choose to go with B.echo I’d be happy (and I’d understand their narrative choices this season a lot better). 

Anyway, that’s my extremely long-winded way of describing the ideal way in which Echo and Bellamy break-up. I think if the writers go this route, it will fix a lot of my issues with Season 5 thus far and will remove any potential disservice to B.echo, Bellarke, or Bellamy and Echo as characters. 

I don’t know if they’ll manage to pull it off quite as well as I have described, but I have hope. I want to reserve judgement until I watch the next few episodes and can better determine if this is what they are trying to do with that relationship this season. It’s why I haven’t responded to many of my negative/ranting B.echo asks. I want to give the writers the chance to set up their story before I criticize the follow-through. 

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: bouquet garni

Next up, @skadventuretime, @guacamoletrash and @jamesfalt (Souly on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, bouquet garni! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Madi, how did you come up with everyone's characters, like Harvar being a gaming streamer and Tsu and Liz being farmers etc. etc. because I thought those were all really unique and interesting!

madi: Ahaha let's see, I started planning this back last... May? and talking with the beta crew, as one does. And naturally marsh [ @marshofsleep ] , enabler that she is, just put it out there.

madi: And I was just playing a bunch of overwatch at the time and thought he'd be a good gamer nerd, and also I had decided to make this Extra self-indulgent, so I was like “my city now”. I basically poured all of my friend feels into [Harvar] and Anya in particular. The past couple years have been rougher for me, but I've had some really spectacular friends, and I decided Maka and Soul needed them, too.

Q: The part with the sword and stuff, I just…

madi: OH THAT ahahahaha. Okay yeah that was end of Resbang crunch time and me being extra 'fuck it.'

madi: That was what the team thought about that.

Q: Artist-chans, what programs do you use and how does your arting process go? And how is guac so good at playlisting??

Souly: I use paint tool SAI :0 I might still have some of my progress pics, lemme look.

guac: Lol. I don't think I'm super good at it but I do enjoy music a lot and like to make playlists so maybe that's it!

Souly: Yeah here we go. Mid lining.

I did it a lil differently than I normally do. I normally line everything and then do flats but I was actually super behind bc of life stuff so I just started doing flats per character after their lines were done. This is a sample of what the layers look like:

madi: Man how do u keep track of ur layers? Or is it like, a sixth sense?

Souly: I go off of the little layer previews and hope the layer has what I'm looking for.

madi: LOL that sounds like me.

Souly: I also like... tend to set up layers for characters a specific way so I can normally find those?

guac: BRUH THAT'S SO MANY LAYERS.

Q: Did you have a favorite character to write? 8)

madi: I just love writing Star being balls to the walls ridiculous. The saxophone thing came about because I saw this video and was like oh my god it's Black Star in the flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyqasy2Lco . But I also really liked writing Maka being sort of the one with issues, too.

Q: Which character in your fic did you most identify with? And was it purposeful or accidental?

madi: Iiiiiiii'd have to say I identified with [Maka] the most this fic, for once. Usually it's soul, but I ended up pouring a lot of myself into her, and it was both purposeful and accidental how it all worked out.

Q: I’m surprised, because there were a lot of things I noticed about Soul that I know are you-things!

madi: Yeah!!! I definitely can't help that with him, they both got a lot of me.

Q: I know you said this fic was super personal and self-indulgent so was it generally pretty easy to write because of that, or did you have trouble?

madi: Hmmmm yeah I definitely had some trouble. About 20k in, I sort of lost the emotional thread of it, and whined a lot to Bones [ @adulterclavis ] about what I could do to fix it, and it turned out that I just needed to talk to someone about it to find where I wanted to go again, and then it got easier. I still struggled for sure not having a traditional Big Antagonist plotline thing, it was more personal and then Maka's mom… Bones let me cry in her inbox about writing.

Q: What brought about your characterization of Mama Albarn (who i still hate btw >: ((( )?

madi: You are not the only one...

guac: I'm always ready to fight her.

madi: Okay so, basically Mama Albarn came about just from how I used to (and still sometimes do) talk to myself. It's that internalized idea you always have to be perfect, and if you aren't given everything you've been given and have, then you're weak and a fuckup and how dare you not be the best? DEFINITELY a toxic mindset, and Bad. And this fic was sort of exorcising that, a little. This was an external abusive deal, but you can absolutely develop abusive thought patterns towards yourself, and you can also free yourself from them, like Maka was ultimately able to.

Q: Was there a scene in particular you really enjoyed?

madi: I heckin’ loved the butt lamp scene. It honestly kept me going, knowing I'd be able to write that monstrosity. And also drunk Kid, who marsh aptly named Five Drink Amy. AND THEN GUAC skl;dfkld. So there was this, right, and then guac

madi: Which linked to THIS PIC:

madi: And we all could not stop laughing.

Q: What was the hardest part to write?

madi: I got stuck at the end of chapter 3, and I ultimately added another section on to it to make it work, but I think deciding how I wanted to transition from her debauched night out into a Soul POV chapter given what I wanted each person to sort of be faced with was probably the hardest thing for me. This whole deal was largely driven by me groping in the dark at what felt right.

Q: PS I loved the debauched night out. And Patty's drinks.

madi: I loved patty in this!! Bones wanted to marry her, so I know it Worked Out. She was another fun one to write, as were her drinks ahaha.

Q: What was your favorite thing about this Resbang in particular?

madi: Oh jeez, hm. I think my favorite thing was doing a better job fleshing out the side characters in Harv and Anya and Kid and Star. That was something I regret not doing better in my older work, so I'm happy I got to try my hand at giving people other than Soul/Maka some personality.

guac: They became such a cute little chosen family.

Q: Why a food-themed story specifically? What about that appealed to you? (For everyone!)

madi: (Apeeled).

Souly: I fucking love SoMa. [And] the cooking aspect really drew me in... idk why but I've always had a thing for those kinds of things with anime I'm into?

guac: My current relationship started with them teaching me how to cook real food cause I used to eat like a garbage can, so I was like ‘welp this is gonna be hella cute, count me in.’

madi: Omg, I didn't know that, that's ADORABLE.

guac: Shhhhh. I don't talk about my feelings very much. But yeah. I was like ‘a SoMa AU about my life!!!’

Souly: Honestly yeah same, I feel like I also like... connected with Maka about being poor and just buying shit to eat.

madi: Let's see, I had a prompt sitting in my inbox FOREVER that was like 'I’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and I flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and I definitely want to say yes AU' that I was initially gonna go with, and originally it was a little closer to this deal. My first blush ideas for this sort of had the drama in not knowing who was whom, and the big reveal being the climax, or something like Maka thinking Soul was taken because she thought he was involved with the comment girl and then that whole drama. But then I thought that that sorta thing had been done before, and I wanted this to be less about the drama of the reveal and more about the process of them growing closer, I guess. And I also looooooove cooking and baking, so that definitely bled through.

Q: I thought it was a neat shake up how you didn’t make the reveal the crux of the whole thing.

madi: Ahahaha yeah, I definitely thought about it, but ultimately wanted this to be less 'gasp, it's YOU!' because the reader knows, and if I wanted to make the reader invested, I'd have to keep them apart and do the kinda drama I wasn't feeling for this fic. The insta bit came about because I spend some time looking at food pics before I go to sleep, and that provided a lot of insp for that section. Half of my degree is in nutrition, so I like to see the recipes people come up with, and also roll my eyes at some of the bougie stuff, because insta is definitely a Platform for that, depending on where you end up haha. Also like, I definitely took some things I've experienced flat out and added them in, like Harv shoving Maka electrolyte packets. Last year when I was deep in the sad pit, my diet was terrible, and I knew it, but I wasn't doing much about it. And then one day I was talking to Bones and my leg muscle kept spasming, and she was like dude when was the last time you've gotten minerals and I was like .....oh. So she sent me a link for those packets to hold me over on days I wasn’t getting them from my diet ahaha. Bones is also where some of Kid came from, and bits of Anya.

Q: Where did you get your recipes? I want a cookbook based on this fic p...please.

modi: Okay okay let me find some of the recipes that inspired things:

https://showmetheyummy.com/crockpot-mexican-chicken-recipe/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BfWNxv9HuHg/?hl=en&taken-by=thefeedfeed.

[Bones] was also the steak recipe insp!

madi: The kitchn, thefeedfeed, showmetheyummy, minimalistbaker were all feeds that I was inspired by, and then I just improv’d from there, because I have cooked all or most of the things I described in there. AND IT'S WHERE MAKA'S CUPCAKE GAZING CAME FROM. LOOK AT THE GLORIOUS MOUNTAIN OF ICING https://www.instagram.com/p/BaRGvjGDBpr/?hl=en&taken-by=thescranline

Q: Did you feel like your writing has changed at all during writing this?

madi: Yeah, for sure! I thought that this year I got better at characterizing people, adding some personality to them that was a little more nuanced than I'd done before. I think I absorbed some of Bones's longer sentence style, which I personally tend to like even though I am still getting a handle on it, and I think I got better at describing things in general. Next step is being better with plot and tightening up the language a little more >:) Most of the changes, I think, were sentence style and how I handled dialogue, which is usually harder for me.

Q: Artists: did you learn any new techniques that you plan to practice or improve on any you've been trying to learn?

Souly: Oh yeah, I learned doing flats as I go with lines actually speeds up the process slightly... I practiced a different lighting technique that I never did end up going with but I kinda figured out what I need to do to make it work. It sadly just didn't work with how I set up this pic.

madi: Oooo nice, linework is Intimidating but you made it look easy.

guac: I am just glad to force myself to make stuff. Glad to be here. Thought my drawing of bodies got better (thanks Black Star).

madi: Y'all don't understand the sound I made when I saw guac drew the apron.

Souly: That Blackstar pic is my fave.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT, everybody? ;D

madi: >;) well, I have a secret project that I thought of last year that I am not yet sure will be a Resbang or a chaptered dealio, so I want to pick at that. Then I have a chaptered Star vs the Forces of Evil fic I need to update, and I owe Pip [ @paperypiper ] like two or three Noragami fluff pieces, and SILLY’S BDAY SMUT. Which will proabbly be like a whole year late but whatever I’m sorry, I will try to make it extra spicy.

Souly: I'm signing up for a few zines! I'm currently waiting for them to open apps but I'm looking at an Enstars zine, FMA tarot project, and some YOI zines. I was also recently in the Soul Eater reversal zine that just closed preorders the other day so I'm waiting to be able to post my piece :0

guac: I'm arting for the BNHA big bang and mostly consumed by school. Who knows what will happen next! There's a little pop punk lyrics + anime project I'm working on so maybe I'll show it to the world someday soon. We will see.

madi: OH YEAH I’m writing for that bang too! AND GUAC GOT ME AS AN ARTIST. It's the ultimate resonance.

[ilickeditsoitsminee]

92 questions tag (there are only 85 but shhh)

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 (85) truths about you; at the end choose people to be tagged

i was tagged by @acemyg thank you so much, sweetie! ❤

last

1. drink -tea

2. phone call - my mother

3. text message - ‘ 😏’ to a friend

4. song you listened to - him&I by Halsey and G-eazy

5. time you cried - about 2 weeks ago because I have shits instead of teachers and they are trying to kill us all, let’s be honest

ever

6. dated someone twice - I had a boyfriend for 3 weeks but we never dated

7. kissed someone and regretted it - whit my first boyfriend, of course…whit the girls, hell no 😏

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nope

fave colours

12. black 13. red 14. pastels

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes

16. fallen out of love - no

17. laughed until you cried - yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - yes

19. met someone who changed you - yes

20. found out who your friends are - yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - the girls 😏

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - around 70, i guess

23. do you have any pets - a dog

24. do you want to change your name - no

25. what did you do for your last birthday - took out some friends for a treat

26. what time did you wake up today - 8:30 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - YouTube

28. what is something you cant wait for - to take my driving licence

30. what are you listening to right now - G-eazy - Tumblr Girls

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - nope

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - too many to name them

33. most visited website - YouTube

34. hair colour - brown

35. long or short hair - a bit past my shoulders

36. do you have a crush on someone - no

37. what do you like about yourself - there are times when I find myself okay and decent but sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror so I don’t know how to answer this question

38. want any piercings? - no

39. blood type - A2, I think

40. nicknames - Mady, tangerine (my name is Madeline, you got it)

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - virgo

43. pronouns - she/her 

44. fave tv shows - i don’t watch

45. tattoos - none, but I might consider getting one

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - nope

49. sport - running to the toilet

50. vacation - Granada, Spain, with my friends and Rome, Italy, with my family

51. trainers - no

more general

52. eating - vegetables as much as I can

53. drinking - water and tea

54. i’m about to watch - Run BTS

55. waiting for - idk 😭

56. want - someone I can cuddle with

57. get married - didn’t think about it so far

58. career - high school student, can’t wait to leave this shit -_-

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - both

60. lips or eyes - both

61. shorter or taller - I really like tall people, especially when they are my friends, they make me feel protected since I’m short

62. older or younger - older whit 3-5 years, younger with 1-2 years

63. nice arms or stomach - both

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - yes 

68. lost glasses - yes

69. turned someone down - no

70. sex on first date - i love God

71. broken someone’s heart - no as much as I know

72. had your heart broken - not from a romantic cause

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - no

do you believe in

76. yourself - not really

77. miracles - maybe

78. love at first sight - no

79. santa claus - no

😭 80. kiss on a first date - it depends on the person who I am with

81. angels - yes 

other

82. best friend’s name - Bianca

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - I didn’t find one that could really satisfy me

85. fave actor - i don’t have one, they are all good, but sign me the fuck up for Park Hyung Sik 😏

i tag @jeonlovebot @minyoongislaysme @regicidalpersecutor @psyrinn @sugainpinksweater @hiiraxth and of course ignore it if you don’t want to do this

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

[cupcakeblake]

ok but imagine modern Bellamy that's a history prof and owns a local book shop and has like seven dogs

this became a prompt idk if it is what you intended but i just had to.

The firsttime Bellamy meet Clarke he’s out with his dogs. He catches her stealingseveral glances his way. Feeling bold for once, he says “Can’t look away fromthese dashing looks, uh?” and he gestures to himself. By chance the cute blondesmirks and he can’t help but feeling smug about making her smile.

“I was staring at the dogs,” she says while nodding to them at his feet.

He looks down and remembers that he has seven dogs and that people tend to findit weird, for some reason.

“Oh” is all he can say and he blushes, mentallycursing himself for flirting with a girl in a dog park. She’s still smiling though.

“The good looks are helping though,” she saysshowing her notebook.

He takes it a sign to come sit next to her onthe bench. She opens the page she was working on and he can see himself withhis dogs on paper, a pencil drawing. She’s talented. He clears his throat alittle.

“Um, that’s good.”

“Thanks. I thought so too.”

She’s bright and lovely.

He doesn’t really know how to keep theconversation going but she seems fine with staring at him and he can’t help butstare back. While he’s a little uncomfortable about it, she studies him withoutshame.

“So.” He stretches his legs. “You often come tothe dog park?”

“I like to draw here.”

“I never saw you here.” And he blushes morebecause it feels more like an admission than anything else.

She shrugs and just says: “I moved here not longago.”

He hums in answer and takes a look at his dogs.

“I expect you come here a lot?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Seven dogs.”

“That’s some Robin Scherbatsky’s shit.”

He laughs more and when he’s recovered: “Hope Iwon’t fall for a Ted Mosby.”

She nods. “That would be a shame, really.” She looksat his dogs too and his heart does a funny thing. “So, how did you end up withseven dogs? Not that it’s bad or anything. Just-”

“Weird,” he supplies.

“I was going to say ‘a lot’ but yeah,” shegrins.

“I always loved dogs, I had two first because Ilive alone and it was good company. One of my friends moved away and let mehers because I was the only one in our group friends capable of taking care of animals.I ended up with my ex’s after we broke up, but I can’t even remember why. Ifound a lost one and I couldn’t nottake her. And when my sister’s dog got her litter I just got two because Ialready had five, so why the hell not?”

She’s silent for a moment and he fears he boredher to death. He’s about to say she did ask for the story when she speaks again.

“And you live in town?”

“Um yeah. I have a pretty big house with a yardand everything. The dogs aren’t too unhappy I think.”

“They don’t seem so,” she says, her voice soft,just as one of the dog jumps and licks his hands.

“Want me to introduce you to them?”

She looks at him through her eyelashes and she’sbeautiful.

“Yeah I’d love that.”

He turns to his dogs again and blushes when hecalls them “Poseidon, Artemis, Hades, Hermes, Demeter, Athena, Persephone!”He needed a theme.

“Wow, nerd,” she laughs.

“Shut up.”

*

When he sees her for the second time it’s thestart of the school year and he’s meeting with a new student’s foster mother.He’s working on his lesson plans when he hears a small knock on the door of hisoffice.

“Enter,” he calls.

“Mister Blake, thank you for meeting with me.”

He gets up to greet her and when she turnsafter closing the door he recognizes her. She must recognize him too becauseshe lets out a small “oh”.

“Hello.” And he fucking waves like an idiot.

She bites her lips to keep herself fromlaughing and it makes him more comfortable for some reason.

“Hi. Um, take a seat, please.”

“Thanks.” And she sits in front of him.

She smirks a little and he doesn’t know whereto begin.

“I understand better the nerd dogs’ names now.”

He shrugs, used to this kind of jokes.

“I had to.”

“Obviously.” And they’re staring at each otheragain. He clears his throat.

“Shall we begin?”

“Yeah. Of course. I’m Clarke.”

He takes the hand she’s presenting.

“Bellamy Blake, I teach History.”

“I know.” She wears a small smile that gothis heart melting a little. He smiles back because he’s incapable of not doingso.

“You’re here to talk about… Madi? Is thatright?”

“Yeah Madi… I don’t really know how to start…”

“Don’t worry, just say what you feel isimportant.”

She takes a deep breath. “Okay. She never knewher father. Her mother raised till she was eight and then died from overdose.”

It hits him, the story a little too close to his, but he doesn’t say anything.

“She’s been living with her grandmother for awhile and it was good from what I heard but she was an old woman and soon shedidn’t have the strength to take care of Madi. She ended up in foster care.She’s been with me for a little over a year now. And it’s been… okay, I think.I don’t want to say good.” She has a nervous chuckle. And Bellamy resists theurge to take her hand in his. “We lived in a big city before we moved here but Ithought a small town would be better for her.”

He hums and lets her continue.

“She’s a great child. Really she is. She justhad a shitty childhood.”

And once again he can picture himself twelveyears ago.

“She’s smart but doesn’t like school, ofcourse. She had to leave school for a year so she’s older than her classmatesthis year. I don’t know if it’s going to be fine…” She bites her lips and adds, “History is her least favorite subject.”

He can’t help but smile at this.

“Have you ever met someone history was theirsfavorite subject?” She relaxes at his joke and it’s what he was going for so hesmiles more broadly. “Clarke… Can I call you ‘Clarke’?” She nods. “Clarke, I’mgoing to be honest with you. I never knew my father, my mother had a drugproblem and died from it when I was 15. My sister and I went in differentfoster houses. I know this shit.”

She seems profoundly relieved that this.

“I’ll take care of Madi the best I can. I knowhow to deal with teenagers.”

Her relief is written on her smile and it’sblinding. He will see more of Clarke Griffin, for sure.

*

He expects to see more of her at school, for parents’meetings and stuff but she comes to his bookstore the following week and he hasto go see her. She’s looking at a book in the classic section and he might fallin love with her already.

He comes behind her and takes a look over hershoulder. She mustn’t have sense him come because she jumps when he says: “Iwould recommend this book.”

She turns and takes him in.

“Don’t come behind people’s back like this!”

He laughs. “Hi Clarke.”

“Mister Blake.”

“Bellamy.”

“Bellamy,” she corrects and smiles.

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

“Like what?”

“Unplanned.” It’s bold but he feels prettyconfident. She laughs so it can’t be that bad.

“Wow. Smooth.”

He grins, a little smug about making her laugh.

“You have some game for a nerd.”

“Oy!”

She smirks and every damn look is a good lookon her, it’s frustrating.

“So, this is a good book?”

“Don’t change the subject, Clarke, I’m waitingfor apologies.”

“I said you had game I don’t see any offense inthis,” she says a little too falsely innocent.

“Get out of my bookstore, you’re banned.”

She blinks. “Your bookstore?”

He frowns, not understanding her surprise.“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you a teacher?”

“Well I also own this bookstore.” He shrugslike it’s not a big deal.

She hums. “You’re quite a catch, BellamyBlake.”

He starts blushing when Miller calls for him“Blake, stop flirting I need your help here!” And that would make his cheeks fullyred.

He lets out an awkward “sorry” and goes to seeMiller but Clarke follows him. He can’t say he minds.

They come to the counter and Miller doesn’teven glance at them.

“Clarke, this is Miller. I work in thebookstore Saturdays and during school vacations and he takes over during theweek. The books are the only company he can stand.

“Fuck you, Blake. You done with the flirting? We need to put the new books on the shelfs.”

“He’s not done with the flirting actually,”Clarke says and she takes his hand too and he might die from happiness really.

Miller glares at him, staring right into hiseyes. He huffs and rolls his eyes and goes through the back door to thereserve.

Bellamy turns to Clarke, not letting go of herhand.

“Sorry he’s pretty grumpy.”

“Oh I didn’t notice.”

He smiles and looks down at her.

“I fear I gave all I got in my game.”

He swallows when she links her hands behind hisneck.

“Good thing I have a pretty great game toothen.”

“Yeah. Good thing.” And he leans down tocapture her lips with his.

[sometimesrosy]

Anonymous said:

You aren't asking the missing questions: Why do they need to be intimate suddenly when their interactions have always been about Madi? Why isn't Clarke getting intimate with Raven but with Gaia who she didn't pay attention to till 7x01? Just ask ask these questions to yourself and you will see you have no valid answer. They made the exact same thing with [L/xa] back in S2-S3. Make Bellamy disappear, let Clarke interact with randoms. Boom. Clarke's new love interest. The pattern won't change.

+++

I beg to differ.

I DID ask those questions. I most definitely did and there are MULTIPLE possible answers, but I’ll ask and answer them AGAIN. 

What is the purpose of Clarke having a new intimate relationship right now?

Because Bellamy is GONE and she needs someone to speak to about her feelings because only TWO people have ever been that for her, her mother and Bellamy. And if she doesn’t have that, she’s at the point where she burns down castles. She needs a confidant. She’s NOT okay. (This leads room for her later to freak out when she hears that Bellamy, Octavia, and Echo, but mostly Bellamy, are missing. She’s not losing any more people.)

Why not be intimate with Raven? Because five seconds ago, Raven was treating her like the enemy. Also, Raven lived for six years with Bellamy and Echo and she is not an objective observer, she is in fact, not on Clarke’s side. Or not in a way that Clarke can open up about her vulnerable feelings.

Incorrect about not paying attention to Gaia. Gaia is who helped her try to keep Madi out of Octavia’s notice. And also the person who held her when she almost crumpled to the floor after floating her mother and hearing that Russell had taken Madi. She’s been interacting with Gaia since season 5, MORE than she interacted with Raven actually.

They did not do the exact same thing with lxa back in s2-s3. Clarke’s known Gaia a lot longer than she knew lxa before becoming friends with her. And when Clarke was faced with her loved one dying, Clarke said “but he did it for me.” and L responded, “then he dies for you.” And when Clarke gave him mercy instead of letting him be tortured, Lxa said “this will haunt you for the rest of your life.” And when Clarke asked Lxa how she carried on after Costia had been killed by her enemy, Lxa said “love is a weakness,” which started Clarke hurtling towards emotional and psychological collapse as Clarke sent Bellamy (love) away into the mountain to die so she wouldn’t be weak. Lxa then coerced her into letting the bombs drop on TonDC to keep Bellamy from dying, and then blamed her for the bombing because of her selfishness. THEN after being partners and friends and having an intimate connection in that episode where Clarke saved her from Pauna, she first hit on her, then asked her to come home with her, then abandoned her and her people to die in MW, before asking her to forget everyone she loved and come home with her. And this was the season BEFORE she kidnapped her and imprisoned her. 

What part of that is exactly the same as bonding over protecting the life of a child who is both important to them? Now who’s not asking the missing questions?

First off, Clarke and Gaia is 100% better than CL, and if Bellarke weren’t endgame I’d be good with it. Clarke and Gaia are actually friends, they talk. Clarke can tell her about her feelings without feeling like she’ll use those feelings against her people. CL didn’t even talk when they were making love. That’s canon. Clarke didn’t WANT to talk to her. She couldn’t trust her. Clarke trusts Gaia with both (some of) her feelings and her daughter. 

Second off. That still doesn’t mean they are going to be romantic. An intimate conversation coming two or three days after Bellamy has just saved Clarke’s life with this intensely romantic scene where he brought her back with the force of his love ALONE. Like you didn’t want that Bellarke CPR scene for CL. You lie if you say it isn’t romantic, because that’s what you wanted for L’s death scene. IT IS ROMANTIC. IT IS SOULMATES. The head and the heart. That’s canon.

And you’re like, oh... they’re talking about their feelings about their parents dying and opening up... NEW LOVE INTEREST RIGHT HERE LOVE INTEREST ENDGAME IN THE HOUSE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DEFINITELY CANONICALLY LOVE INTEREST ENDGAME SOULLMATE ITSTHEEPATTTERRRNNN.

Why? Do they keep? Separating? Bellarke?????

There’s a missing question you keep not asking.

seven years running. 

Definitely no doubt a pattern. That has not changed.

WHY?

BECAUSE Clarke and Bellamy are, in fact, the main relationship and the main love story of The 100.

The fact that they separate them every year and every year they bring them back TOGETHER is the pattern that you’re missing.

You’re looking at the trees and can’t see the forest.

A love story is about how the love interests come together.

Every season, Clarke and Bellamy are apart, and over the course of the season, they come together, closer than before. Sometimes they start apart, sometimes they start together and are torn apart before coming back together. But ONE THING ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Clarke and Bellamy always come together and being together, they reach victory.

This is the pattern of the story. Sometimes they are separated by other relationships, or death, or politics, or betrayal. Or all of the above.

And yet, they still come back together.

AND not only do they come back together, but every season, they get more intimate, more passionate, closer, more together, and yes, more romantic.

Another pattern. The other love interests don’t last. They also start when Bellamy rejects or turns Clarke away. In Hakeldama Clarke made a proposition to Clarke and he turned her down so cold she was sure he hated her. So she turned to L. But CL were romantically together once, as a good bye, because L put another death order on every single sky person, and Clarke could no longer stay, even though L offered to let her stay because she’s not like other girls skypeople. But in the end, Clarke was leaving her and returning to Bellamy. Finn? She’d already broken up with him and turned her main attention to BELLAMY. Niylah? That was about human connection in season 3 and because Bellamy rejected her in season 4. Cillian? Because Bellamy had a girlfriend and she was moving on despite being completely in love with him, because he wasn’t hers. There’s a pattern you never notice, do you?

You see the obstacles in the story and you don’t see what the characters do to overcome the obstacles or where they end up or what happens when they’ve grown past them. 

This scene with Gaia? This isn’t an obstacle even yet. Not even a romantic obstacle. It’s a moment of humanity with another person, which she NEEDS. Could it be more? Sure. Might it flirt with that? Maybe Idk. Just like something happened with Cillian, but it wasn’t a new love interest. It pushed Bellarke to the front of the plot, and forced Bellamy to confront his own jealousy and dissatisfaction with Echo... which was unfair, as he realized. AND it also was part of the plot becuase the Cillian LURED her away and tried to kidnap her. It was a set up, not a love interest.

But did you notice that? Did you notice that her love interest in season 5 and 6 was BELLAMY? Even with the cillian interlude?

Nope.

Claim I don’t ask the questions or follow the patterns as you conveniently pretend that everything that doesn’t fit your theory doesn’t exist.

Every single time I’ve gotten an ask about Gaia and Clarke, I have considered what it meant, how it could develop, why it was written, where it might go?

ONE place it might go is to develop a character who got little development before so that we will feel it when she is killed off, because they want the deaths on the 100 to matter. To hurt. 

When you see a minor or secondary or even main but non-sympathetic character suddenly getting character development and screen time, it’s now time to worry about that character. Oh look, Finn save Raven’s life on the Ark, empathize with him, now he’s dead. Oh look Monroe who has been with us since season 1 suddenly has a first name and a home, now she’s dead. Oh look at all the love for sinclair who is so cool I love him oops now he’s dead. Ah Gina what a sweetheart she cares so much--ouch now she’s dead. Oh look at Gaia, bonding with Clarke and we learn about her father who died and her issues with her mom.... uh oh. I am definitely concerned. (Same for Echo, btw.)

Just pointing out a pattern for you that you may have missed. 

Since you don’t pay attention to anything in the story but what you want to see. Or even my own posts that you’re claiming to critique. Bitch WHO didn’t ask questions? 

you got the wrong blogger.

[octannibal-blake]

Can you do a prompt where Bellamy comes back to earth and Clark and him don't know how to act around each other anymore. Idk it could be like they had too much to say before he left or something like that. Thank you!! (You don't have to do it if you don't want to)

Nonny, let me just tell you this was a lot harder than i expected which is why this say in my drafts this entire time. I love canonverse but DAMN writing their reunion is hard because it seems like no matter what idea I come up with, i can’t do it justice.

Anyways, here is my final project. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Thanks so much for the prompt! It challenged me and excited me. Enjoy!

*

how a resurrection really feels’

(ao3)

It’s not the kind of reunion that could have been part of an epic story. It’s not the kind of reunion to bring tears to your eyes when you hear of it or make your heart beat in anticipation. It’s one with  urgent whispers and aggressive shoving. No explanation, no hello. No time to even fully comprehend that Clarke Griffin is not dead. It’s hardly even a reunion at all.

“We have to go!” are the first words she says to them, no less than five minutes after the door to the drop ship opens. They hadn’t even fully taken off their space suits or really sucked in a breath of fresh air before she is before them, all blonde hair and fire. Six years later and everything is still the same but so very different.

“How?” Raven manages to choke out one word of the thousands they all wish to say One question out of so many that must go unasked because there is something, something truly terrifying, that makes everything else take a backseat.

Clarke slows down for one second, one brief pause, to place a hand on her old friend’s shoulder, “I’ll explain everything, just trust me.”

Trust me. They really don’t know her anymore, do they? The person they knew died six years ago. Bellamy grieved for her. He missed her. He moved on just like she would have wanted and now she stands in front of him, different yet still unmistakably Clarke. It’s because of that they follow her without further questions. Echo takes his hand to give him a reassuring squeeze, like she knows his entire being is on the cusp of insanity in this moment. She’s not wrong. He gives her what he hopes is a smile (though probably more of a grimace) in thanks. Being in space for so long with her, well, they’ve come to understand one another. She can read him like a book. All of them can.

She makes no indication of stopping or turning to give an explanation. She drags them through the trees, so much greener and fuller than he could have imagined. He can’t be sure how long they were running, long enough for him to be exhausted by the time they reach a small cave behind a trickling waterfall. It’s seems eerily familiar, like many parts of Earth.  He’s much too tired to admire the view. Being in space, well, there isn’t a lot of room to stay in shape. He did what he could, but running isn’t exactly viable on a small space station.

The rest of his people seem to be on the same page, falling onto flat stones and the cave floor to catch their breath. Clarke stands in the doorway, glancing behind her like she’s expecting someone to pop out at any moment. No one speaks at first, they just look at each other wide eyed and try to catch their bearings.

“You want to tell me why the hell we’re running five minutes into being back?” Murphy is the first one to speak, his voice holding the typical sarcastic lilt come to be expected from him. Though, Bellamy can admit, this time it’s fairly warranted.

Clarke sighs and turns to face them. The cave is dark, her face is unreadable. She seems to look them over for a moment, like she’s just now realizing it’s them and she isn’t sure what to do next.

“You’re late,” it’s not much of a response and frankly, he finds it more confusing than anything. Yes, they are definitely late, but what does that have to do with anything (besides what seems to be a strange resentment towards them)?

“You try building a drop ship from spare parts,” Raven bites back, crossing her arms at the accusation.

Clarke’s features soften briefly, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Just…”

“For what it’s worth,” Raven stands up, her leg wobbling underneath her from the strain, “I would have worked a little harder had I known you were down here.”

This seems to break the tension that had built, though Bellamy still feels tense all over. A little sick. She’s alive, is the only thing he can process, she’s alive and she’s been alone for six years. He’s not sure if he feels better or worse about it. It was almost easier, believing her to be dead. Now everything he had been feeling so long ago feels fresh again, the guilt, the grief. He left her behind. What if they would have waited? Six years of lost time.

Clarke lets out a laugh that almost sounds like a sigh of relief and wraps Raven in her arms. They seem to pour all their emotions (shock, relief, joy)  into the embrace and he thinks he hears a sniffle come from Raven. When she pulls away, though, she’s all composure. Clarke looks around the cave and smiles and once again, he feels like he can’t breath.

“Bellamy?” Echo touches his shoulder, concern etched into her usually hard features.

He realizes he’s beginning to breathe erratically, like he’s almost suffocating. He feels like he’s trapped in one of his nightmares on the Ark. Where she is just within reach but he leaves her behind every time. He watches her dies. He watches Praimfaya rip her apart.

“Bellamy!” Echo calls again and he pulls himself to reality. He locks eyes with Clarke, who is looking at him like she doesn’t know who he is anymore. She doesn’t.

“I need a minute.” He stands up and brushes past her without a word. It all seems cold and harsh, but he doesn’t have the first idea of what to say to her. So much is left unsaid between them, years of what if’s and questioning how he could have done things differently. Now, as she stands only feet away, he’s lost. Everything is different now. He isn’t the same person that went to space and there’s no way she’s the same person he left behind.

“Amazing isn’t it?” God, her voice is still the same, “That the Earth could do so much healing in such a short amount of time.”

Her presence still consumes him, that much hasn’t changed. She stops next to him, keeping herself a safe distance away just in case he decides to break again. He feels like he might, but only under the weight of so many unspoken words. Unspoken feelings.

She doesn’t wait for him to speak, just fills the silence with answers, “The nightblood worked. I made it back to the lab just in time.”

He takes a deep breath and faces her, seeing her (truly, in the light of the day and up close) for the first time. She’s different, yet the same. Her hair still turns gold in the glint of the sun, but it’s chopped off at her chin with a dark red streak peaking out at the bottom. She’s smaller but fuller somehow. Stronger. A long scar paints the side of her cheek, stretching from her brow to her jawline. He nearly has to physically restrain himself from touching it. She looks older, more worn, but still happy. Happy to see them. Happy to see him.

“Clarke…” he says her name for the first time since that last moment on the ground, the one where she asks him to use his head and his heart because she knew she wasn’t going to make it. He doesn’t mean to sound so broken when it comes out, but it does and her eyes soften. She looks like she might graze her hand upon his own cheek but thinks better of it. Instead she gives him one of her half-smiles.

“It’s okay, Bellamy,” his name is an answered prayer on her lips, the way she puts all her forgiveness in one word, “We’ll talk. Later.”

Just like that, she’s all business again. She gestures for him to follow her back inside and he does, though the weight of the apology on his lips makes him move a little slower. He takes a seat next to Echo and she gives him a questioning look. He nods as if to say he’s fine and she seems to accept it as an answer, for now. She sits down in front of everyone and closes her eyes, like she’s mentally preparing her for a long speech (she is).

“This isn’t how I imagined seeing you all again,” she admits with a sad smile, “But we never get a break, do we?”

“What happened to you, Clarke?” Monty is the one to ask and everyone turns their eyes on her. She doesn’t seem fazed by the question, only like she’s trying to figure out the best way to say it.

“The nightblood solution worked,” she begins and from there she gives them, cliff notes as she calls it, of her last six years. Busying herself with radios trying to get in touch with them and the bunker. Rationing her food. Trying not to go crazy. She tells them about another nightblood, Madi, who saved her life when she hadn’t even realized she needed saving. She speaks fondly of the girl, but he notices the ache behind her eyes. An ache and an anger that’s all too familiar.

“Monty, you remember learning about the lost mining colony?” he nods in response, “They weren’t lost.”

The mining colony on Mars. He remembers flipping through articles in the archives on the Ark during his brief time as a guard. He had never paid much attention to it. Apparently, he should have.

“I guess the Ark wasn’t the first to come up with sending prisoners to the ground.”

That’s who they’re running from. Miners and prisoners, only these prisoners aren’t kids like they were. They are slaves.

“From what I’ve learned, there’s some weird sort of hierarchy based on genetics up there. Those who don’t have perfect genes become prisoners. Those prisoners did all the mining. I guess they ran into the same problem we did, but they didn’t just send their prisoners down. They sent everyone.”

Over 1,000 people by her guess. The first ship that came down was scouting, checking the Earth’s habitability. The others followed quickly. She and Madi had tried to run, but they hadn’t been prepared for the fire power of the colony. The force. They got Madi first, knocking her to the ground and stunning her without a second thought. She couldn’t run after that.

“She’s all I have down here,” she seems to notice her mistake and corrects herself, “I had to go with her.”

“Is that how you got the scar?” he winces at Emori’s question. He wondered that himself but knowing that someone deliberately hurt her, it’s not something he feels mentally ready to hear. It’s not about you, he reminds himself. Every struggle Clarke faced wasn’t meant to add to his guilt. It just so happens that it does. I left her behind, it’s all fresh again.

“I tried to escape. They didn’t like that,” her voice holds no emotion. Just the facts.

She doesn’t say much more, just that they have to be careful until she can come up with a plan. She told them about the bunker, in hopes they can dig them out. This will give them the manpower to overcome the colony. Another war.

Everyone seems to come to this realization at the same time. The air feels heavy. Six years in space had granted them peace, albeit a restless one. Now they’re thrust back into the chaos, no opportunity to just enjoy the new earth. Enjoy the fact that they’re alive. That Clarke is alive.

“We’re not far from the lab,” she stands up, dusting the dirt from her pants, “That’s where we were staying before…”

They take the hint and pull themselves from the ground. She walks outside and glances around, deciding the coast is clear for them.

“It’s safe there. Food. Shelter. The miners are still a long way out. I’ll make sure they don’t find you.”

“What do you mean?” he snaps, and it sounds harsher than he meant but it sounds like she’s planning on going back.

“I have to go back,” she confirms and he feels like he’s just been slammed in the stomach.

JUST like that, he feels a switch, “Clarke, it’s too dangerous. We’re here now, we can help–”

“Madi is there.”

“We just got you back,” it’s a desperate thing to say but he feels pretty desperate in this moment. He’s clinging on to someone he doesn’t even know anymore.

“I know,” she tries to look him in the eye but he looks away, unable to really face the reality in this moment, “But I can’t leave her.”

He wants to say more. He wants to sit with her for hours and apologize for everything she faced because of him, because he didn’t wait. He wants her to tell him about Madi and the bunker. He wants to tell her about space. He wants to tell her everything.

But he doesn’t. He stays silent. He doesn’t know this Clarke anymore, it’s not the same person he loved six years ago. Just as she doesn’t know him. He’s changed, mostly for the better. Using his head more and trying to be the leader she always knew he could be. Little does she know, even when he thought her in her grave, she taught him so much.

“You good?” it’s Raven this time who falls into step with him as they follow her to the lab.

“I’m fine,” he tells her, putting his mask back in place. It’s falls in effortlessly and she nods at him without question. She may not believe him but she trusts him.

“Not exactly the welcome home we expected, huh?”

They had planned to go straight to the bunker and work it out from there. No thought of sadistic mining colonies or alive Clarke’s. It’s funny how things always have a catch with them.

He doesn’t pay much more attention after that. He comes back to reality as they approach the lab, the building looking much worse for wear. Brick has chipped away, mold grows on the sides. It looks dingy and uninhabited but when they walk inside it’s the opposite. Drawings line the walls, landscapes, abstracts, and portraits of them. In any other circumstance it would have been a little creepy but something tells him they were her way of remembering them. The same reason he drank on multiple occasions.

“Everything works for the most part, though it usually depends on the sun,” she explains, “You’’ll be safe here.”

“What are you going to do?” he decides not to stick around for Monty’s question. He wanders about the lab, putting together the pieces of her last six years through drawings and books.

He’s supposed to be okay. He’s supposed to be stronger than this and yet she shows up and suddenly he doesn’t know what to do. Everyone else seemed to adjust fairly quickly. Why couldn’t he? You know why, a voice reminds him. Deep down, he does. But how does he resolve old feelings with the new him?

He’s found his way to the radio room, the place he last spoke to his sister. Tools are scattered around it, wires every which way. He wonders if it works. His baby sister is still buried underground but she has to be alive. Right now, he wishes he could just talk to her. Despite everything she always understood him best.

“Did you all have a radio up there?” her voice startled him from his thoughts. She shuts the glass door gently behind her and pauses. He glances over his shoulder and shakes his head.

“Raven tried,” he tells her, “But eventually we needed the parts for the ship and we had to prioritize.”

She hums in response and seems to think about her next words carefully, watching him with an uneasy eye, “I radioed you. Everyday.”

He can’t help the way his mouth parts slightly in surprise and she smiles at that.

“Just you. To see if you were okay, if you all made it. Eventually I just assumed you did. It was better than the other option.

“Radioing you, especially you, it’s the reason I made it so long,” her eyes search his own, begging him for some sort of understanding. His heart is lodged in his throat.

“It’s important for you to know,” she places a hand in his arm and squeezes lightly, “You did what you had to do.”

You did what you had to do. The words echo in his mind, so familiar. Every decision they’ve ever made they’ve justified with that, a mutual understanding between them that they never wanted to make the hard choice but they had to. As leaders.

“Do you want forgiveness?” She asks when he says nothing in return and his eyes find hers again, almost teasing, “I’ll give that to you.”

After everything, he still doesn’t know what to say. So he just pulls her into his chest and buries his nose into her neck. She wraps her arms around his waist and burrows into his chest like she can’t possibly get close enough. I missed you. I’m here. I’m real. Trust me. He outs all of those unspoken words into their embrace, in the way his holds tightly, the way his hand tangles into her hair.  There is still so much to learn about each other. There is still another war to fight, but the feelings are still the same. They can do whatever the hell they want. Together.

[zhe-lazy-fox]

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by: @madi-starlight

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it :) (Still have horrible internet so i can’t tag folks)

the last

1.drink: Milk

2.phone call: My aunt

3.text message: my little sister (thru mom’s phone)

4.song you listened to: Bronski Beat- SmallTown Boy

5.time you cried: about 2 weeks ago, was about my summer job. (before i quit)

6.dated someone twice: I can’t remember so idk if i have, but i will go wiht a no.

7.kissed someone and regretted it: Don’t remember if i have kissed anyone so i can’t say XD

8.been cheated on: No idea... (You’re looking at someone who is very much not into dating and relationships...)

9.lost someone special: Not yet....

10. been depressed: Uhhhhhhhhhhh... all year round, it goes in ups and downs

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Alcohol is bleh, so nope.

3 favourite colours

12. Green (all hues)

13. Purple

14. Blues

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Maybe... idk

16. fallen out of love: What is love??? (baybe don’t hurt me~)

17. laughed until you cried: now and again, don’t remember what the last time was about

18. found out someone was talking about you: it depends...

19. met someone who changed you: My bff :D

20. found out who your friends are: Yes

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: ... i don’t think so...

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of my Fb friends are my relatives, other than that, yes. XD

23. do you have any pets: 2 Bunnies and an aquarium of fishes

24. do you want to change your name: No, i like my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Uhh... i don’t remember what i did last year, don’t ask me stuff like this! X’D

26. what time did you wake up: 9 am somehting

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i was suprisingly asleep

28. name something you can’t wait for: Voltron season 3 and 4 (I’m gonna die) and to start at my universety

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: earlier today, right now she’s fixing planks for grandma’s barn so the old moldy ones can get changed and painted :)

31. what are you listening to right now: all the music i’ve downloaded from youtube on my USB

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I might have, i’m very abd with names.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: People who won’t accept they’re wrong and put things out of prespective to become the victim or the one who has it the worst. The voltorn fandom...

34. most visited website: YouTube, Tumblr, DA, AO3.

35. hair color: dark blond

36. long or short hair: I need a haircut, it’s to long for my liking.

37. do you have a crush on someone: no

38. what do you like about yourself: My eyes, My oneliners XD, my sarcasm, my imagination, and my crafty hands.

39. piercings: Nope.

40. blood type: Uhhhh... i should probbalby know this, but i don’t

41. nickname: My name is so short so there’s no need to make a nickname of it, even if i have some. Al, Sanji (no idea why i got it) and Moon Moon 

42. relationship status: Single and not looking

43. zodiac: Scorpio

44. pronouns: She/her (i’m pretty chill about it)

45. favourite tv show: Voltron, Midsommer Murders, One Piece, Haikyuu!!, Hawaii Five-O, Thunderbirds are go.

46. tattoos: None

47. right or left handed: Right

48. surgery: I fell from a tree when i was little and got a broken branch in my arm near my armpit... 

50. sport: I have played Tennis and done some Riding, not anymore tho

51. vacation: Northen Germany, Norway, Danmark and a road in Finland... 

52. pair of trainers: Uh? i don’t know, they’re comfy and fit my feet, all that matters.

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Ice cubes... we havn’t had dinner yet...

54. drinking: does Ice cubes counts as water?

55. I’m about to: Write on a Voltron thing i’m working on for Halloween -w-

56. waiting for: Don’t know... dinner?

57. want: the fiber to come her sooner than around christmas.

58. get married: Noooooooo.... idk tbh

59. career: Illustrator and writer :)

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs!

61. lips or eyes: Eyes

62. shorter or taller: I don’t know...

63. older or younger: No idea...

64. nice arms or nice stomach: who cares?

65. hookup or relationship: FRIENDSHIP!

66. troublemaker or hesitant: I don’t even know.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Nope

68. drank hard liquor: I think i’ve tasted soemthing my dad’s friends bought at a restaurant, but it taste dry adn to much so it was bleh.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Glasses: nope, one pair i know where they are. contact lenses. what counts as loosing them? I’ve dropped one but was in school so i had to survive with only one... no wait i think i removed it and survived wiht my poor eyesight XD

70. turned someone down: I don’t know... maybe?

71. sex on the first date: HELL NO! Couddles and Hugs in pj’s thank you!

73. had your heart broken: Don’t think so

74. been arrested: No

75. cried when someone died: In real life no. For fiction Y-E-S (Glares at BH6).

76. fallen for a friend: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: depends on what i have to belive in... I do not trust myself wiht Math for example XD

78. miracles: *shrugs* maybe?

79. love at first sight: idk

80. santa claus: Nah

81. kiss on the first date: ...not a dater here!

82. angels: Nah

OTHER:

84. eye colour: depends on the light, Blue-green greyish... idk XD

85. favourite movie: Why?! I can’t choose!

[geccin]

Tagged by @deathrainbowseverywhere. It’s been forever since I’ve done one of these babies THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My grandma. I think. I forgot why though. 3. Text message: 
"Hehehehehehe” 4. Song you listened to: Take A Slice- Glass Animals 5. Time you cried: 
Eeeeh, probably a few days ago. Or maybe a few weeks. I’m not sure. 
HAVE YOU: -6. Dated someone twice: 
Nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: 
Man, the only things I’ve kissed are my cats on their foreheads 8. Been cheated on: 
Nope 9. Lost someone special: 
I don’t think I have yet 10. Been depressed: *finger gun* You know it 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: 
Nah. I hope not anytime soon LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pastel purple, midnight blue, and puke yellow IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: 
Sort of. I don’t know if I’d call them friends yet. 16. Fallen out of love: 
I think I have before 17. Laughed until you cried: 
Heck yeah. It was the week of exams and right after the first one. We went to our second block because we were reviewing. My friend started to eat a paper towel and my tired mind found it hilarious. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: 
Not yet 19. Met someone who changed you: 
I think I have. I like to think so too. Probably 20. Found out who your friends are: 
Maybe. I don’t understand the question entirely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:
Still only my cats on their foreheads GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 
I’m not entirely sure. The last time I was on it was probably a year ago, and all of my friends are my moms friends and family members I’ve never heard of. 23. Do you have any pets: 
Yes. Seven. I can’t wait to move out with my two cats so they can be happy. 24. Do you want to change your name: 
Maybe. I’d like a name that was nice and a name that allows me to go somewhere and not have 5 other people with my name. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: 
I went to school and prevented my teacher from singing happy birthday. Then we got pizza and a small, sugar bomb cake. I might have gone to the movies with a few friends. I’ve pretty much just stopped having birthday parties. 26. What time did you wake up: 
10:03 AM. Which was about 30 minutes ago 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: 
Watching videos and acting like I was partying with my cats and a owl head 28. Name something you can’t wait for:
More sleep. Hanging out with my friend on Thursday. Maybe youth group. 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:
Either my procrastination or my inability to understand some of the most simple things. 31. What are you listening right now: 
The fan in my parents room and my dogs playing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: 
Probably once. Maybe an uncle or something 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that my cat Tiger will knock over any bowl of water right after drinking from it. The bowl is giant and I don’t know why he does this. 34. Most visited Website: 
Tumblr and YouTube. Maybe ChickenSmoothie 35. Mole/s: 
I don’t think so 36. Mark/s: 
Scars on my arms and hands from my cats. Scar right above my lip from running into a tree. Two scars on my left leg from a dog attack. Two really long scars on my right arm and left foot, which happened when I was trying to get my cat back into my room. After he was chased out by our dog. 37. Childhood dream: 
Man, I used to want to be an astronaut or firefighter. 38. Haircolor: 
A brown color. That sometimes looks black. 39. Long or short hair: 
hit me with that short hair. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: 
Maybe. It’s hard to tell. 41. What do you like about yourself? I really like my eyes 42. Piercings: 
None. I don’t want any 43. Bloodtype: 
A+ I think. 44. Nickname: 
Madi. And Sissy to my mom, but like “Sister”. Not insulting. 45. Relationship status: 
As single as ever. Which is alright I suppose 46. Zodiac: 
Pisces 47. Pronouns: 
I’m fine with whatever tbh. But I typically use She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: 
I don’t really have one at the moment. 49. Tattoos: 
Not yet. I have three ideas in mind 50. Right or left hand: 
Right 51. Surgery:
Three. All in my mouth. First two was because I had extra teeth in my mouth that was preventing my grown up teeth from coming in properly. The last one, which happened last year in January, was for my wisdom teeth 52. Hair dyed in different color: 
In 8th grade it had blue tips for a while. Then I cut my hair and never dyed it again 53. Sport: 
Used to play soccer. Moms trying to get me to get on track. But I’m done with sweating and feeling gross. And not being able to hang out with friends because of a game or something. My parents and teammates parents were not happy when I quit. 55. Vacation: Went down to Georgia then Florida last week. Been out of country a few times. 56. Pair of trainers: Idk MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating:
Nothing at the moment 58. Drinking: 
Not drinking anything at the moment too 59. I’m about to: 
Finish this then scroll through my dashboard 61. Waiting for: 
Sleep, Youth group, and Thursday 62. Want: 
Hugs and Cheerios 63. Get married:
Probably not. I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m just afraid of falling out of love with the person I marry. Or that they turn out to be really mean after we get married. Or getting cheated on while we’re married. I don’t want to deal with the divorce process. 64. Career:
Man, I don’t even know. Something that keeps me happy maybe WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I love hugs a lot. 66. Lips or eyes: 
Eyes. Eyes are really nice 67. Shorter or taller: 
Both are pretty neat 68. Older or younger: 
Meh 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: 
Eh 71. Sensitive or loud: 
Heh 72. Hook up or relationship: 
Relationship for sure 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: 
I’m hesitant with everything I do. HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: 
No 75. Drank hard liquor: 
Nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: 
Too many times 77. Turned someone down: 
Once or twice 78. Sex in the first date: 
Never 79. Broken someone’s heart:
Probably on accident. I’m sorry 80. Had your heart broken: 
Maybe 81. Been arrested: 
Nope 82. Cried when someone died:
In a video game or movie. I haven’t experienced a lot of loss 83. Fallen for a friend: 
All the people I’ve had a crush on were my friends. And by that I mean only two people. But yes, I have. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: 
Nah bro. I believe in my friends though 85. Miracles:
Sort of 86. Love at first sight: 
Not really 87. Santa Claus: 
Nope. 88. Kiss in the first date: 
Sort of, yeah. I wouldn’t do it though 89. Angels: 
Yeah OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: There’s the Define Sane people and maybe like, one or two people from church. And Ruza too 91. Eye color: 
Brown 92. Favorite movie: 
Lady and the Tramp I’ll tag @nyosweden @ihavewaytomanyobsessions @irl-kara-chara and @ruza-chan. Have fun

[transjamesmcgraw]

407 liveblog

silver looked like he was gonna cry when flint asked how he was and i’m crying

BOSTON? FLINT ARE YOU INSANE???? now i can see how this turns into a tragedy.

i love how tender jack is with anne? these two warm my heart

i mean don’t get me wrong i hate that shes in pain

but jack is like a mother hen

FOREHEAD KISSES

the music is killing me

and it’s so grey and flat, it’s weird compared to the bahamas

ah yes. rogers looking broody. buddy it’s your own fault

but also the destroyed office feels like flint

and mrs hudson is looking good i’m proud of her for existing

legit i would die for her

aww poor jack freezing in boston

the convo between the queen and (i feel real bad i forgot his name) feels like thomas and james talking about changing the world

“drowning over miranda” that perfect

also flint’s voice feels really rough here and idk why

this little girl is elizabeth swan you can’t convince me otherwise

but also !!!!!!1 i’m so !!!!!!!!for jack because his name is being spoken\

but now i feel bad 

ooh billy your face looks real bad

i just really love the lighting in Philadelphia

i’m in love with mrs guthrie

i love billy claiming credit for long john silver

NEVERMINd fuck billy

i love this thing that max and mrs guthrie have going on 

also fuck the sound taht silvers voice makes when he says shes alive

silver... the nature of a war is that its bigger than one person’s life....

i hate that madi is in chains this is what her mother wanted so desperately to protect her from

fuck fuck fuck

when they siad it might not be billy or silver

it’s gonna be jack who kills flint

fuck

fuck fuck fuck

jack can’t do that and he and anne know it

“i’d do it for us”

fuck you bear mccreary the musc is too good

noonononono don’t leave anne behind

they can’t be that far apart fuck

shit it sounded like jack was crying - same buddy

fuck off hands you’re gonna fuck it all up

noooooooooooo