#I miiiight do something narratively with that...

[raymoo--hackery]

HOWDY HAIIIII HELLO

just popping in as one does to sayyyyy i love your storches they are wonderful awesome tall goibers and VERY CREATIVE i do love themmm

and more specifically at least right now FENRIR!! I have been rotating her like a popcorn bag in my head and just thinking about her in general and wondering if you have yap on her? consider this a formal yap invite. I've been going through your lore posts and i just. i love her. Very kill. I have plans for her and if you dont wanna yap just consider this a pipe bomb filled with good vibes and love for fenrir.

Stay frosty!

Uhhh yeah ok I can ramble about her a bit. Just have to go back to the shit I wrote down before, my notes and also tangents on bsky cus I just dump my thoughts on bsky mostly every once in a while. Also before I get to that, I saw your comments in the tags about forensics and stuff.. it's like half intentional lol. I don't have as much knowledge on forensics but I just try to go with my gut and what feels right so I'm glad to know it mostly comes across right. She just went swinging and shit. Especially with the idea I had in mind that this is one of her first, if not the first, kills. So I don't think it'd be as "clean" if that makes sense? It feels less like intentionally directed brutality and more explosive brutality lol. If that makes sense. Idk I might just be spouting bullshit LOL.

But generally, her whole thing is that people don't know what she's thinking. There was an idea behind her of being something like, "the type of Storch that Gestalt children would have nightmares about." She is a woman of very very few words. So all others see is her actions. It's excessively violent, which is problem enough in itself, but nobody knows why.

But there's no fucking way she's mindless either. I think if she was, she'd have long been disposed of since now. That's the biggest challenge when creating Fenrir, how do I keep her alive long enough? Fact of the matter is, next to nobody likes her and almost everyone wants her dead. But I have a couple ideas for this. One such is that aside from her penchant for violence, when she's otherwise doing her job, she exceeds quotas. And she gets her team to exceed quotas too. For a place like this, the Nation doesn't care about its residents in the slightest, they only care about the numbers. So if they suddenly see a drastic drop in those numbers by the disposal of one Replika, they're not gonna be happy. Despite her offings, it hasn't severely hindered productivity yet. Cus the thing is, she's being smart with her targets, so she deliberately goes after stragglers who are hardly contributing much to the facilities quota. Only a few cases where things became a bigger problem (such as the offing of her STAR mentor which was the idea behind that artwork), but most of her crimes are actually marked down as disappearances cus they never actually found a body nor evidence to actually trace it back to Fenrir. Of course, she is still the number 1 suspect, but they can't actually pin it to her. Like I said, her whole thing is that she's unreadable lol. Honestly a good chunk of Replikas probably just think of her like, "easy to fly off the handle, don't piss her off of she'll beat you black and blue". But that's not exactly it. Well, you still don't wanna get on her bad side, her punishments for misbehaviour are still fuckin brutal. But she is extremely calculated and patient with her little killing spree. Others think it's mindless, cus there is seemingly no rhyme or reason or goal behind her motives other than pure violence. But again, nobody knows for sure and it's not like she'll just tell you lol. I reiterate, she's a woman of very few words to begin with. There's also the possibility that she's being protected from somewhere higher up... But I'm not saying anything more on that matter 😋

I think it's also kinda funny to describe her as Lorenz-12's ghost story LMAO. With the amount of rumours that surround her. Some say she's got to be something supernatural at this point, some say she consumes the bodies and that's why they're never found, others say she steals the parts, either for herself or to sell off. But nobody ACTUALLY knows, and that's what makes ppl even more fearful of her.

But there is someone who MIGHT know... STAR-L1217 "Wahnhaft". You could say she's, "the one who got away". Attacked by Fenrir and survived. Sustained numerous injuries in the process, but she lived. But she's equally cagey about the subject too lol. But though you might think it's because it was a traumatizing experience, so she wouldn't want to talk about it, that couldn't be anything further from the truth. Even before this point, Wahnhaft had a reputation. It's in her name. "Wahnhaft". "Delusional". Maybe she had a name before that, maybe she didn't, it doesn't matter. Wahnhaft is what stuck. Because for some fucking reason, she was enamoured by Fenrir. Had this idea in her head that she could "fix her" or something. Naturally, everyone thinks that's fucking insane. And she was warned, numerous times, if she kept persisting on this she would eventually end up as not even a stain on the floor like everyone else. And just like everyone told her would happen, she got attacked. Nobody knows what in the fuck went down between the two of them, other than the fact Wahnhaft was injured to hell and back, hanging on to the world of the living by a fucking thread. Being the only one to make it this far, one of the only bodies to have been found, it was top priority to get her back in good health. This could be the witness statement they needed to finally have something against Fenrir. But what a fucking waste of resources that was lol. Like I stated earlier, she refused to say anything. Something changed about her from that point on... but it was something equally, if not even more fucking insane and delusional lol. This enamour she had for Fenrir fucking SKYROCKETED. She ditched the whole "fix her" thing and was just fuckin head over heels for her exactly as she is. Whatever happened is clearly staying between Wahnhaft and Fenrir. Wahnhaft insists it's something special between them. Something is extremely wrong with her too LMAO.

What makes it even more of a special case is the fact that Fenrir is EXTREMELY meticulous and clean about this. She cleans everything up to perfection. She has a whole fucking routine and everything. You just know her post-murder showers are something immaculate LMAO. It's funny to joke that Wahnhaft actually managed to scare her off halfway through bcus she's just that crazy in the head. lol. But I'm not saying it is or it isn't. Nobody knows. Not even me. I don't know. It could be anything. I think it's something better left dubious and strange. A mystery. It's Lorenz-12's noodle incident.

Anyways uhmm yeah I think that's mostly the gist of things? Fenrir is the youngest Storch, not even a year, yet strangely excessively brutal and in equal parts unreadable. But clearly there's more to it than her outward appearance puts on. I have a lot of other ideas I'm pondering with her too. So as always, stay tuned for more lol.

[pancake-breakfast]

Finished Day 5 of Disco Elysium.

Now that the autopsy has been completed and Kim is back, the case is moving forward en force, so we're definitely getting into spoiler territory here.

Talked with Kim about the bullet. They make a very sound argument for only allowing front-loading guns in civilian populations. That includes for law enforcement.

Rene passed away. I'm actually kinda sad about that. I gave his friend the old photograph I stole from Rene's guardbooth. I did not steal his uniform.

Painted the wall with the message, "Something beautiful is going to happen." Dunno if it will, but we can hope.

Kim was unimpressed. Spoilsport.

That also marked the second time Cindy gave me something out of sheer pity.

Talked to Klaasje about the murder. Hoo boy, I could write an essay on my interactions with her today. The short version is I actually trust her a lot less now. She's worked in corporate espionage, and I suspect that's actually what she bonded with the victim over, given he had also ruined a lot of lives for pay. (I... have very mixed feelings on corporate espionage and will not be expounding on them in this post.) But I do think she feels bad about all that's happened, and that on some level, she cared for the victim more than one generally would for "just a fling."

I appreciate the way they approached the false rape charges. In my own research, I've found that that sort of charge is very, very rarely drummed up by individuals. Considering the victimizer is almost always someone socially connected to the victim, even when it's true, it can really muck with social circles, and most people aren't willing to explode their social circle for wrongs they think are done solely to themselves. Or, you know, just out of fear that they'll lose part or all of said social circle. The cops, on the other hand, frequently create false narratives around these sorts of things and then actively circulate them, as it discourages anyone from standing up for the person they're victimizing. After all, most people don't want to defend a potential rapist, and if the authority is saying they have "reason to believe" that's what happened, well, it's not like any of us knows all of what happens in another person's life, and it's MUCH more difficult to prove an absence of a thing than fake its presence. And we've already established in game that the Hardie Boys are basically the cops for this area. Basically, the devs did their research and it shows, and this sort of story needs to be told more often because not enough people are aware of it.

I managed to get in cahoots with Cuno. I think this is a good thing, but I'm not placing any bets right now. The world is too much of a freaking powderkeg.

I found a pinball machine!

I also found out you can regain morale by hugging a plushie, which seems pretty legit.

I miiiight have managed to die twice trying the same conversation. What really made me worry, though, is my actions also got Kim killed. New Fear Unlocked: Getting Kim killed and living to know about it.

The fact that I haven't tracked down the last of the mercenaries yet worries me. 2/3 isn't good enough when they're trying to start a war.

Did karaoke. Sang a little song about a little church.

Had to submit to working with Evrart again to find my gun. Words cannot describe how much I dislike working with that guy. He's the type to take good things and turn them into shit because it's profitable for him, and he'll somehow have half the people he's fucking over thanking him as he does it.

Which reminds me, I did hit the only point in the game thus far where I've very much been like, "But what if the other option...?" And that was talking with Joyce about Evrart's plans. As a cop, it was 100% my duty to take a step back and say the choices she made based on that knowledge were hers to make, but as a private citizen? I want to encourage her to cut the head off the snake. The one thing that kept me from going back and redoing that dialog (at least) was the thought of the power vacuum. It's already established that he trades power off with his twin brother, so I have no reason to think the brother wouldn't just weasel in there unless she could off them both. Even then, that's less likely to result in a win for her than it is to result in, say, the Hardie Boys or (shudder) Measurehead filling the gap, and I'm honestly not sure the Hardie Boys are business savvy enough for the position. After all, they've already demonstrated they have a bit of a weak point when it comes to underestimating women, and as much as they might think of themselves as "better than cops," if they had that kind of power, they might find themselves having to strong-arm control. I still don't know if that would be better or worse than Evrart. I don't think anyone does. On top of that, I highly doubt it would result in a win for Joyce, and she may be crazy, but she's not stupid, so I'm not sure I could get her to bite. She probably made the best choice I could hope for by giving up and backing down. It should (theoretically) limit some of the bloodshed.

I'm actually on decent terms with the Hardie Boys now. I don't think they like me, but we've developed a mutual respect. I knew there was a chance we could get here when Hardie himself gave me that key, no questions asked, despite his men razzing me about it. It was... a peace offering of sorts, I think. Or maybe a "take whatever you're hoping to get here and get the fuck out" offering, but that's close enough for me. It's the one time I didn't press for any additional details about something. They told me what they knew about the key later freely and with ease. I didn't need to interrogate them when I got it.

Aside from hitting and passing a Point of No Return with Joyce, I found the Point of No Return trying to hunt down Ruby. I had to back off of it, as I didn't have my gun. I hadn't even sung karaoke yet. We'll try and follow her in the morning.

The hat that automatically makes you more communist amuses me.

I made a lot of progress with the druggies by the church. I still haven't got them into the church, but we're buds and I've been helping Egghead make a good track. It's what Harry would want to do.

Did I teleport to the top of a building? Kim says no, but I think he just lacks a certain amount of imagination.

I found a book that healed my morale! That's a nice change from all the books hurting.

For the first time in who knows how long, Harry got a good night's sleep. That's been a bit of a goal of mine since starting the game, so I'm glad it's accomplished. Hopefully, the lost time won't screw up my search for Ruby too much....

[icepixie]

Lower Decks 4x06 and some earlier ones

Spoilers

Ransom is definitely filing down his asshole edge, but I...don't hate it? (Especially since he still has some edge, as with pulling Brad back from Ferenginar.) Between that and the amazing security team support group thingy that dragged Boimler back to sanity, the Cerritos, and Starfleet/the Federation more generally, really does feel like a utopia. Hell, I want to work on the Cerritos! It actually feels more utopic than even TNG, somehow, maybe because a lot of the utopic features of older Treks were illuminated by comparison to our less-enlightened society? Like, they travel back in time and are befuddled at this whole "money" thing, or the Dark Ages medicine, or whatever, so narratively it's always pushing against something specific in reality. With the security team support group, it's feels more like just--"This is a thing we do to protect our mental health, of course." I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's not that innate feeling of "see how much better we are?" which always makes the whole utopic thing feel less natural.

...I don't think I said any of that very well, but it's something I've been thinking about for the last several episodes. (It's also entirely possible I'm missing key scenes that would render this argument invalid, since I haven't seen most older Trek in years.)

Anyway. The Ferengi joining the Federation. Yeeeah, that'll work. I do love that Carol has gotten to be sneakily kickass for two episodes now.

Boimler getting sucked into Ferengi TV was delightful!

I kind of thought Mariner was getting over her whole thing about being promoted, but I guess not. It's not uninteresting, but I do hope it gets resolved by the end of the season. "Rebel without a cause" has been her MO for a while now and I think it miiiight be starting to get stale.

Ohhh, Rutherford and Tendi. I figured they would be the promised "marriage" for this season, and that it would happen something like this, and I was not disappointed. The writers did a great job walking the line between They Are Really and Truly Platonic and This Is All for Laughs and ...But Maybe? with them blushing at certain moments but otherwise finding the whole thing unpleasant and awkward. (I do think they're 100% platonic life partners, but I liked that there was a bit of subtext there.)

I wasn't sure I would enjoy T'Lyn when they added her, but I absolutely do and missed her in this episode.

[adrianastrix]

I love the subtle ways Van Helsing's law background show up during the novel, because it shows that Stoker had the same levels of "I'll obsess at every minutia of the logistics of this vampire hunt because this is fun" that I usually have in writing, and it's weirdly validating to see that you share something with a great writer.

It also ties down in one of my favourite past times when conceptualizing Bram & Vlad: speculating about that "beta" cast of characters present on Stoker's notes, what remains of the ones that were cut, and what it says about the ones added later.

According to those notes, in earlier forms of the manuscript, there was no Van Helsing, but there were three different characters that disappeared: a German professor (Max Windshoeffel), a detective (Cotford) and a paranormal investigator (Albert Singleton, a "psychical research agent", in the notes). I suspect that Stoker dispersed their roles among the other characters and gave the professor what wouldn't fit anywhere else, and that he did it when he started to consider the logistics of a theater adaptation (let's not forget how Dracula's detailed description miiiight be a nudge into getting Sir Irwin to play him on stage).

Since film adaptations usually cut the cast of hunters even more, it was the right call. It created a character that impacts the plot in a major way and remains relevant through most of the book, instead of three that only shine in small parts: the professor would only be relevant in the fight to save Lucy, and maaaaybe in dispensing obscure vampire folklore when needed, the psychic researcher would be relevant in the field work of freeing Lucy of vampirism and in hypnotizing Mina, and the detective would be mostly relevant in that franctic pursuit of Dracula, plus those bits of documental investigation and any law troubles that could arise.

Now, I have seen people assuming that Van Helsing is simply a composite character of those three, and that's why his behavior changes drastically here and there, but I beg to differ. Like I said, you can see residues of the roles of the detective in most of the crew, and more specially on the Harker couple, once they join the frey. Then, whatever seemed to be legal knowledge too advanced for a young solicitor and his enthusiastic geeky wife went to the resident smart guy, the professor. One has to wonder if Van Helsing jarring "compliment" of Mina having a "man's brain" isn't an inside joke pointing to the fact that most of her role used to be attributed to a man (and kudos to Stoker for not hesitating in giving her the deductive powers of the detective, instead of any of the others).

The "psychical research agent" seems to have blended mostly into Van Helsing, but here I think that Quincey (and in some parts, Arthur) also absorbed the action parts of this role, leaving to Van Helsing the brain part, the leadership part and a bit on the final act (that I won't spoil x3). And, amusingly enough, as a result of that, I really think that part of the professor's role went to Seward. You see, Van Helsing is a full blown scientist with research papers on the brain matter and all. And he is the one lamenting the faults of modern science in the face of Seward's reasonable skepticism. I wonder if that wasn't going to be the main dynamics between the original professor and the paranormal investigator until the latter was vindicated, and that's why the suspicion of vampire activity doesn't reach Seward (who used to be Lucy's fiancé, btw, no wonder he was so devastated by Lucy's death, much more than her actual fiancé): his mentor, the professor, is the one shutting down the paranormal researcher's conclusions, to the detriment of Lucy's health.

While I think it makes that misunderstanding part work better narratively in this light, I do like the final solution of a scientist being open-minded to the paranormal stuff, adding to the themes of science and progress steam-rolling Dracula's imperialist/colonialist overlord brain, even if it comes at the cost of this scientist being a bit too coy to suggest to a psychiatrist that penny dreadful monsters were involved on a real life matter.

(Bonus pondering: note how Renfield's mania sometimes fall into religious ramble out of nowhere, then it comes back to a very naturalistic/materialistic form in the eating of bugs - could it be a symptom of him originally being an academic that went mad, since he is familiar with Van Helsing's work, and then was fused to the "silent nun" character?)

My main motivation in this speculation was to use it in Bram & Vlad's version of how things in Dracula played out, but I also do that because I think is fun. We will never really have a definitive answer (and that's fine!), but this is still the sort of thing that tickles my creativity centers something fierce.

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

October 17th

Everything is pretty well fixed now, I think, to welcome the Count on his return from his tour.

This is giving “If you think it’s funny to call my wife’s blood a ‘refreshment’ I’m about to be hilarious” and I love this for him

Godalming told the shippers that he fancied that the box sent aboard might contain something stolen from a friend of his, and got a half consent that he might open it at his own risk. The owner gave him a paper telling the Captain to give him every facility in doing whatever he chose on board the ship, and also a similar authorisation to his agent at Varna. We have seen the agent, who was much impressed with Godalming's kindly manner to him, and we are all satisfied that whatever he can do to aid our wishes will be done.

Ah yes, Arthur’s superpowers:

Being universally liked

Being an English lord

The Professor says that if we can so treat the Count's body, it will soon after fall into dust. In such case there would be no evidence against us, in case any suspicion of murder were aroused.

I appreciate Van Helsing’s commitment to not getting the gang arrested.

< Prev 🦇

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 8, Part 3

*leaning back in chair from exhaustion* my brain needs to learn how to shut up sometimes.

1. *tilts head to the side* Hmn.

Not that Sangwoo is intentionally lying here, I think he genuinely feels this is the best answer he can come up with. Because it’s better to covet nothing and be given nothing, then covet something only to be given nothing. 

There was this Thor thing before, with his sister Angela, belonging to a race of angels (and i loooooove their rendition of angels because anything that subverts the original, purer narrative is my jam and butter): “Nothing for nothing.”  The Angels in that comic will only do things if they are given payment in exchange for doing so. Odin is considered “The King of Nothing” because he once expected them to do the right thing (saving humans, I think?) just for the sake of it, rather than for material gain. This was an insult to the Angels, pretty much equating this to Odin seeing them as worthless. Thus, if you give nothing, you get nothing.

Sangwoo grew up having to deal with “Nothing for something”. As in, he puts his mom as priority and, in exchange, his mom abuses him.  He behaves himself as much as he can, and in the end, his dad abuses him. He emulates an upstanding citizen to others and, because of that, they love him only for the mask he puts on, deterred from him the moment there is a crack--and this was something that went on looong before he became a sociopath. He is expected to give and give, but get nothing in return.

So now, Sangwoo’s actions are pretty much begging “Something for nothing”.  He wants to be given love and respect even though he knows that he has done nothing to deserve it. Because this hurts less. At least, here, it’s more of a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than the world kicking him while he’s down just because it wants to. At least, this way, Sangwoo can kick back and fool himself into thinking that every kick doesn’t destroy more and more pieces of himself.

2. Extension of prior panel and theory

Right now, Bum is the only one who has given him “something”. Even if it ends up being “nothing”, there is “something” to accompany that oblivion. This, in a way, is a reflection of the Lima syndrome Sangwoo is experiencing while Bum is experiencing Stockholm at the same time (though, he experienced the beginnings of it much earlier than Sangwoo). 

For Bum, Sangwoo will treat him kindly, but then do shit like...throw him against a car. Threaten to cut him up. Hang him by a pulley. All that jazz. But then, later on, Sangwoo will treat him nicely again and intersperse the abuse with little rewards he dangles in front of Bum like a master training their dog with snacks. 

For Sangwoo, Bum will give him a sense of humanity that Sangwoo probably hasn’t felt in...like 4 years. But obviously, Bum won’t be able to commit to this because Sangwoo is his abuser, so the times Bum treats him lovingly is an extension of his response to Sangwoo’s abuse. Like a frog that will end up staying in the boiling pot that will then be cooked alive then given as sustenance to its slaughterer. 

Sangwoo doesn’t know how healthy relationships work, that it’s not “nothing for nothing” or any of it’s variations, but actually “something for something”. All relationships are meant to be an equal give and take, but that requires work and being able to work through pain in a positive way, instead of falling straight into despair. 

So, Sangwoo is trapping both himself and Bum in a cyclical relationship where Bum gives him “something for nothing” and Sangwoo is now in the position of power that his parents put him in--the “nothing for something” position. Eventually though, we’ll see Sangwoo gradually try to give Bum “something” for his efforts, only to realize just how empty he is afterwards. That giving Bum “something” back only makes him feel like he’s still “nothing”. 

3. Wait, how did he kill CEO Daughter girl...

I looked back and saw the blood on her forehead, so maybe he used the sledgehammer that he hit Bum’s leg with to hit her on the temple or something. Because we don’t see a cut beneath her chin or something. So, again, the ones he loses attachment for just die, but people like Bum...they receive a lot more cuts and bruises I think. More evidence of how much he is trying to make them hate him, proving to him that they were lying when they said they loved him. 

4. Seeing it this way...

...I think this is more proof of how much Bum has proved the impossible. He has lived so much longer than what should be expected for any of his prey. Again, Sangwoo does not consciously go in planning to kill his victims, but his subconscious is preparing him for it and he knows the drill. It may not be planned, but Sangwoo still expects it. So the fact that Bum is still alive goes against all of Sangwoo’s expectations.

Subconsciously, now, he goes in preparing to keep Bum alive. That cut underneath the chin was probably how Sangwoo killed past victims, the ones who got the closest before Bum arrived. That is probably how he ended them. He slit deep into their throat before they could tighten their grip around his neck.

But Bum has surpassed them, so Sangwoo is giving Bum that scar as a warning to stop what he’s doing so that he doesn’t feel the need to kill Bum. 

Because, now, he’s scared of the regret that will follow once he kills Bum. He’s more scared of the consequence of losing Bum than the consequence of letting Bum further into his life (because, right now, Sangwoo has hope for the future with Bum in it).

5. Ooooh I love the comparison of everyday life and food to Sangwoo’s slicing and dicing of Bum

This shows just how much Sangwoo’s alive can no longer be normal. 

Like...he can look at that sliced meat and imagine all the bodies he has sliced open. How are you supposed to continue with daily life after having experienced what he has? Then, furthermore, after doing what he has? 

It drives further home to Sangwoo that he is ostracized from humanity as a whole. That no one in this planet can accept him (actually, there’ll be plenty of people who can, but the thing is, that’s not the kind of acceptance Sangwoo wants, or else Bum would’ve been enough for him/he would’ve had a much easier time of finding a fellow sociopath--I do think Sangwoo being a sociopath, not a psychopath, something to do with it, since he’s using killing as a coping mechanism rather than a response/release).

That, in the end, he is only furthering how he will end up dying alone and dying painfully.

6. Heyyyy, Jieun, that you??

Lol, if that is, then I love how Bum in the next panel drives home their every closer intertwining fates and that she is soon to be dead.

Also, where...is Sangwoo bringing her??  Even with how obedient Bum is, I don’t think Sangwoo would risk bringing her to his house unless she’s going to the basement with Bum...which, again, I don’t think he’d do lol. So...love hotel???

Whether or not that is Jieun, I think this also serves as a representation of Sangwoo questioning his sexuality because he is now genuinely thinking of being with Bum. And Bum is a guy, so does that mean he’s gAyyY?

Also one thing to point out, which probably doesn’t mean anything but still miiiight...here we see Jieun’s blissed out face, which is similar to Sangwoo’s o-face in earlier panels. However, Sangwoo’s face is obscured and we don’t see anything. This could suggest that he doesn’t actually feel that great doing Jieun, showing how he’s unable to have normal sexual relations due to...yeah. 

7. AND NOW, SANGWOO IS AT A FUCKING GAY BAR *WHEEZE*

Ahhh, Bum. The things you somehow make Sangwoo end up doing. It’s applaud worthy, now that I think about it. Sangwoo obviously, from the beginning of this, wasn’t completely straight. But he’s also not gay either. I personally think, with sexuality being a spectrum rather than a conglomeration of separate categories, being with a guy shouldn’t automatically make something homosexual. If anything, Sangwoo is on the bi or demi spectrum, but he’s feminine-inclined.

But the fact that Sangwoo wants to actually see whether or not he’s gay. x’D  Because, if that’s the case, then that means he can widen his prey circle beyond women and see if he can find someone who can accept him amongst the male population as well. 

So, I think this experience will show Sangwoo that Bum is...special. Like. To a point that it’s ridiculous for him because it’s like his sexuality is this vague hetero-excluding-Bum-sexual. Which will drive home even more for Sangwoo that, for as long as he still thinks a normal life is possible, he needs Bum to stay with him.

8. ....But...why this guy???

Of all the people for you to choose, Sangwoo, what happened. xD You could literally pick up ANYONE ELSE--look at that slender blue-haired guy in the last panel--and this is the one you end up going for????  

No, seriously, what. What even. 

Oh wait. Criteria. Criteria. Right. Sangwoo has to be careful about who he chooses. If he chooses a worker there and they end up dead, then that can lead back to Sangwoo way too easily. 

He doesn’t go in planning to kill the one he hooks up with, but obviously, he has to prepare for that just in case. Because he knows that they could trigger him at any point in time, so no matter what, his prey has to fit a very very narrow criteria. 

Which makes me think of that CEO daughter girl. I don’t think she can be someone whose father lives there in Korea. The daughter probably just decided to go their as a tourist and Sangwoo picked her up in a bar or club or some other tourist hot spot. That will make things very difficult to find him because it will take a while for her to be realized that she’s missing and by that time, it’ll be too late to track things back to him.  This shows how much he pays attention to his surroundings at any given time, because Sangwoo probably thinks of every little detail to make sure that, even if police do go to that area, he made sure little to no attention would be called to him. 

So this actually don’t really help much in convincing Sangwoo to explore his sexuality lol. Gay people have preferences too, they’re not just gonna go after any gay person. And he already has this oral trauma, so. Even less points to being gay lol. 

Anyways, I can barely think at this point, I should just end it here...

9. ALMOOOOST. DOOOONE.

Lol I have a feeling that Sangwoo is pissed at Bum because if it wasn’t for Bum, Sangwoo would’ve never gone to that gay bar and experienced the disgusting feeling of blowing another man. 

Because, actually, Sangwoo might have done it. Just so he can convince that guy to go home with him so that he can kill that guy. Which...would just make Sangwoo even all the more pissy. xD

Actually, one thing to note...I think Sungbae later goes to that same gay bar??  To get information or something??  And one of the workers actually gives vague information that point Sangwoo having been there and doing something. Which would be unusually sloppy of Sangwoo. And that’s only because Sangwoo was there due to Bum’s influence--in an entirely new situation that he was uncomfortable with and unable to properly exercise his usual precautions. 

This is a distant call to how, later on, Sangwoo makes more and more mistakes, sloppier than the last, because of how desperately he tries to integrate Bum into his life. 

[mydissociativediaries]

2/24/2023: Friendship

Everyone has shitty friends at some point in their lives, but man, I've had "friends" who were just...utterly vile people. I've had the friends who ruined our friendship but probably aren't horrible people. I've had friends who are toxic, friends who are assholes, but I've had some who are scary. Geniunely bad people.

I'm slowly learning the signs, especially after I had a falling out with one of those monsters. I become cautious when someone I know starts to exhibit those same behaviors and I tell myself those same narratives. They don't mean it, they're just joking, I'm misunderstanding them, blah blah.

And they 100% take advantage of the fact that I have trouble reading them. It's actually kind of funny--one "friend" that I cut out recently was smart but not quite smart enough to keep it going. She was slowly slipping in rude, sarcastic comments while rejecting me and making me feel like shit, conditioning me to accept her abuse.

That's exactly what the worst "friend" that I've ever had in my life did. She kept it going for YEARS, but this recent person just...wasn't that smart. She fumbled and threw a temper tantrum over something stupid. That was enough to wake me up. The fact that she abruptly stopped talking to me was also revealing--if she weren't embarrassed, she would have kept talking to me like normally.

She's gone now because I blocked her. I'm waiting for her friends to catch on and unfriend me, lmao. But maybe they're more mature than I'm giving them credit for.

But yeah, I've known some people who are so genuinely evil that if they contacted me again, I'd block them on sight. I wouldn't even slip in a "Fuck you" or "Leave me alone." I'd just block them without responding. One in particular would probably make my life a living hell if I said anything.

A couple of these people theoretically COULD contact me, although it'd be difficult. But for one of them, I'm just...gone. I deleted the only social media account that she spoke to me on. She miiiight have my email address or real name? But that's a stretch.

I didn't delete that account because of her, but the fact that we had a falling out made it a lot easier to do so. I don't know what she thinks of me or if she thinks that much about me at all, but I'm sure it's a strange situation for her. A disappearing act.

Well, maybe she shouldn't have fucked it up if she didn't want that to happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for reading,

👭

[themunofprovidence]

Oh god I hope you’re not suggesting that we trap them in a regular human body are you? That is a curse worse than death in my opinion, a fate I legitimately wouldn’t wish upon my worst and most hated enemies. Legit. I’m serious. Just as I said that if Anne dies Amphibia would forevermore be ruined for me (before it happened), let it be heard that if they make the collector human this show might also be ruined for me except this time not because the narrative would become trashed but simply because I would be so vehemently repulsed by that one action that I might not be able to stand the rest of it as is. I mean my dysphoria is bad enough and I don’t even have access to memories beyond this specific life/mortal incarnation/prison sack, can you imagine how awful it’d feel for someone who’d actually achieved such perfection to be hacked down and squished into a rotten decaying flesh basket???? Near unimaginable disgust/horror/fear/despair/terror/dysphoria. And on the flip side removing the memories is also a shitty thing to do, just in a different way.

I mean, maaaaaaaaaaaybe the collector miiiight be fine with such contemptible living conditions, but I’m not. I’d literally prefer being The Signal Tower from LN2 over being a Homo Sapien Sapien, if I could snag something so glamorous. God I’m still not over the fact that I legitimately mostly felt body envy for it when the concrete walls were shed and caved away. A bit of fear, sure, but mostly body envy. Maybe there would’ve been more fear if I was actually playing instead of watching a boss compilation, but whatever. I’d be fine with being a literal computer brick, so long as I got internet.

I’m getting distracted by stuff so bye

Remember when King the child said he no longer wants to be seen as a big monster nor abuse his power, going out of his way to be mindful of and care for this little grub; He just wants to be a kid with friends?

Methinks he’ll provide some very interesting perspective to the Collector, as someone who was actually powerless and thus had to experience real friendship the hard way, without seizing it; Thus causing King to realize the folly of his tyrannical dreams. Will our Grand Huntsman be more parallel, or foil by the end of the show? Will he be depowered, forced to undergo a humility arc and learn King’s lessons; But as an actual feared overlord who lost his strength?

Perhaps then our Collector is what King claimed, and thus we speculated, him to be; An all-powerful and feared tyrant, but he’s not yet at the point where he’s knocked down several pegs into a harmless, ineffectual kid who can actually be kind of sweet now that he’s bound with mortal limitations.

[ironinkpen]

"Lance and Keith, Neck and Neck”

Alternatively Titled: Here’s How Black Paladin Lance Can Still Win Lmao

Before you ask, no. No I do not have anything better to do.

This meta is going to be stupidly long (like... 4k words.... yikes.....) so tl;dr before we start: I think that 1. Lance is going to pilot the Black Lion at some point, 2. Keith is going to pilot Red again at some point, and 3. they miiiight share lions? Blah blah blah, general disclaimer, I’m probably wrong but whatever.

Alright, now strap the hell in:

I know it seems kind of silly to write a meta for what appears to be a done deal. Like Coran says, the Black Lion has to decide who her pilot is, and she did. it’s Keith. And Lance is Red’s, and Allura is Blue’s. That’s it, we’re done, here are our new team dynamics, let’s move forward now.

But I think there were hints throughout the season that the lion swap isn’t... complete yet. That we’re still waiting for some other shoe to drop when it comes to the Black and Red Lions. Because Lance and Keith’s swaps into them were just plain weird.

There are three major components of Allura’s transition into Blue: Lance’s goodbye, the “passing of the baton,” so to speak, and a Moment of Realization. 

After being locked out by Blue and finding himself seated in the Red Lion’s chair instead, Lance takes a (really bittersweet and fuck i’m still crying) moment after the battle to say goodbye to Blue. This scene has two important functions: 1. it sets the scene for when Allura comes in (in her badass new paladin armor) and the two talk and 2. it gives both Lance and the viewer closure about his partnership with Blue. Lance reflects on their adventures, on how he wishes he could say with her but knows that he can’t, and then just. Lets go.

Keith does not get a scene like this with Red.

In fact, not only does Keith not say goodbye to Red-- he barely interacts with her at all this season, other than when he flies her around to look for Shiro in the first episode. There’s no sense of closure. Just last season, Red activated - independently - twice to save Keith (both in the episode where he and Allura run away from the castle and the one with the Blades of Marmora), something none of the other lions have done for their paladins, and now we’re supposed to buy that their relationship is just over, with no goodbye necessary?

It’s just. Weird. And I think this weirdness is on purpose. It would have been easy to have a concurrent “Keith says goodbye to Red" scene while Lance said goodbye to Blue. But, not only did they not include it, later on in the season when Lance goes to talk to Keith about the whole “six paladins” situation, he says that when Shiro returns to the Black Lion,

“Your Red Lion.” And Keith doesn’t once deny this assertion that Red is his during this conversation. He doesn’t deny wanting to go back to her.

Moving on:

There’s this. Right after Lance says goodbye to Blue, he and Allura have a talk, and Lance hands Allura his bayard. This scene is significant for loads of reasons, but one of the coolest things about it is the focus on their hands. It’s framed like a passing of a baton. Lance quite literally passes on his Blue Paladin position to Allura by handing off his bayard. It feels permanent.

But, again, there is no such scene between Keith and Lance. We never see Keith giving him the red bayard, and the two don’t talk about it like Allura and Lance do. There’s no passing of the baton when it comes to the Red Paladin role. 

And, for that matter, we don’t really see Keith picking up the black bayard for the first time either. The Black Paladin’s bayard has carried so much narrative weight these past two seasons. And... it’s Shiro’s bayard, Keith says so himself in season 2. There was a lot about Keith struggling with Shiro’s loss this season, but why leave the black bayard out of the equation? Shouldn’t there have at least been a scene where Keith activates it for the first time? Or something?

Keith’s arc thus far has been all about identity and learning about who he is. Like, just look at the scene above where he unlocks the blade of marmora and discovers his Galra heritage. If we’re really supposed to buy that a big part of Keith’s identity is "being a leader,” shouldn’t there have been a similarly dramatic scene when he became black paladin? We see both Lance and Keith using their new bayards, but nothing about them unlocking them (and Lance has apparently unlocked a new form!! What the heck!!!). The scene we get, with Keith sitting in the Black Lion is just... sad. Mournful. When I watch it, I don’t see a leader taking his rightful place, I see a boy who’s been shoved into a job he doesn’t want and just misses his friend.

Even when “Shiro” (pssst he’s a clone) comes back and is rejected by the Black Lion, the conversation the two of them have about the passing on of responsibility doesn’t have the same air to it as Lance and Allura’s about Blue. Allura takes the bayard (and the responsibility) with determination. Meanwhile, Keith, despite having lead Voltron for several weeks(?) at the point of “Shiro’s” return, still seems resistant to the idea. He hasn’t settled into his new role.

We don’t get the sense of Keith really taking the baton he’s been handed by Shiro yet.

The final way Lance and Keith’s transitions to new lions differ from Allura’s is in a moment of understanding. During episode 3, Allura really “locks in” her position as the Blue Paladin by connecting with Blue on an emotional level. This is the scene where Allura realizes what her and Blue’s partnership is going to be built on-- a willingness to open up and rely on others. We see similar scenes in earlier seasons with Hunk (who is able to unlock the Yellow Lion’s ability after realizing that he wants to fight with for the sake of other people, like Shay) and Pidge (who is able to wake up a shorted out Green Lion after realizing how connected she is to others via Green’s element, the forest). 

And - you guessed it - we don’t get any scenes like this in season 3 for Lance and Keith.

We don’t see Lance take Red’s controls for the first time. We don’t see Keith have any real moment of connection to Black, besides when the two of them find “Shiro”. Neither of the new Paladin-Lion pairs seems to interact at all, besides when Keith begs Black not to make him her paladin and Red growls at Lance to be her paladin.

As of yet, neither has seemed to really “click��� with their new lion, unlike Allura, whose transition into Blue Paladin gives us a) a moment of goodbye between the old lion-paladin pair b) a moment where the responsibility is passed from the original paladin to the other and c) a moment where the lion and the paladin connect. Again, the keyword here is “closure.” Her transition into Blue feels official, for lack of better word. When that particle barrier drops in episode 2, we really get the sense that “oh, this is where she belongs.”

We... don’t really get that with Lance and Keith. When Lance took the Red Lion, I didn’t get this triumphant moment of “oh, this was his true place all along.” And the same goes for Keith. The two of them don’t seem like “The New Red Paladin” or “The New Black Paladin.” They almost exist in a sort of limbo, without official roles.

Lance, for his part, seems to recognize this.

He doesn’t see himself as having a rightful place within the team. When “Shiro” (clone clone clone) comes back, he expresses concern about this. Lance sees Allura as the full fledged Blue Paladin. Meanwhile, he doesn’t see himself as belonging in Red or Blue. And while he views Keith as belonging in Red (again, “your Red Lion”), he also addresses Keith as the leader (a trait belonging to Black). Keith appears to be caught between roles, while Lance seems to see himself as just not having one.

Even in-universe, the characters seem to acknowledge that something’s fishy about their swap.

This problem seems to resolve itself when the Black Lion rejects Shiro. Of course they’re in their rightful places-- if Black rejected Shiro for Keith, then clearly Keith’s the true Black Paladin. Which means that Lance has to be the red one by process of elimination.

But, as I maintain that the “Shiro” that Black rejected is actually a clone, I don’t think we’ve genuinely gotten a scene where Black chooses Keith over the real Shiro as leader. Which means that Lance and Keith’s positions on the team are still up in the air.

What does this have to do with Lance in Black? And Keith in Red? And lion sharing? Lance tried to pilot Black already, and he was rejected. He’s not meant to be leader. It’s a done deal.

But... is it?

When the team all present themselves to the Black Lion to see who’ll become the next Black Paladin, Allura puts her hands on the controls and kinda kicks off a humorous montage of she, Pidge, and Hunk trying their hand at activating Black. Allura makes a face, Pidge struggles to reach the controls, Hunk sits down and is immediately like “nope,” all while happy, campy music plays in the background.

And then, Lance sits down. And there’s a complete tonal shift. The music stops. Things get really quiet. There’s a real focus on him.

We as viewers are meant to take Lance’s attempt at piloting Black seriously. With Allura, Pidge, and Hunk, there’s this underlying feeling of “oh, they already have a place (or, in Allura’s case, she’s meant to be somewhere else), so none of them are going to pilot Black,” hence the silliness. But Lance... Lance sits down and it’s not funny. He’s genuinely trying to be Black’s paladin.

But he gets rejected. Why?

You could argue that he’s not qualified (I’ll get into that later because that’s false), but the main reason I think that Black chose Keith over Lance here is that a) at this moment Lance wanted to be her paladin for the wrong reasons (ie to prove himself) and b) Keith and Black’s goals line up. They both want to save Shiro. 

Take a look at the scene where Keith pilots Black for the first time. Nothing in this scene is really about “being a born leader” or whatever. It’s about Keith and Black working together for a common goal: protecting Shiro.��

Is it that far a stretch to say that Black has chosen to work with Keith again for the same reason?

Keith is the only paladin that we see actively search for Shiro after he disappears. Everyone else seems to be trying to move on at the point that season 3 starts. But, Keith isn’t. And I think that that’s what he and Black’s partnership is built upon. Because the main moment of connection between Keith and Black in season 3 is-

-when they look for and find “Shiro.”

Keith, along with being one of, if not the most, competent fighters of the team, is also the paladin that wants the most to bring Shiro back. Which seems to be what Black wants, as well.

But, like I said earlier, there’s this sense that Keith isn’t Black’s One True Paladin, or that the lion swap is as clear cut as it seems. And it all comes back to Lance:

This line was a whammy to me, and I think it sums up the impression I've gotten throughout the series: we’re still waiting for Lance’s “moment,” so to speak. While every other character has had an arc that helped really define that character - Pidge learns that she has to help others on her journey to find her missing family (both in s1 when Lance gets hurt and in s2 with the Olkari), Hunk realizes that he wants to keep fighting with Voltron to protect people like Shay, Keith learns about his heritage via the Blade of Marmora and realizes that it doesn’t define who he is now, and Allura realizes that she needs the help of others to save the universe and that she can’t do it alone (her “I need your help” to Blue in s3 was just. wow) - I don’t really think Lance has had such an arc yet. We haven’t really had a moment where something about his character really snaps into place for the viewer.

Maybe we just need to see more of Lance in Red for things to really click together. But, I genuinely think what we’re really waiting for is for Black to respond to Lance.

Like I said, I think the main reason that Black rejects Lance, besides the whole finding Shiro thing, is because, when Lance put his hands on those controls, he wanted to pilot her for the wrong reasons. Lance was treating piloting the Black Lion as “his moment.” He's a guy who’s really tied to his ego, and what he wanted was to prove that he could be a leader. But, that’s not reason enough to become a leader. So Black turned him away.

But immediately after that? He changes his tune. He throws his full support behind Keith, counsels him, encourages him and the others (notably Allura), and keeps the team together (in fact, he’s quite literally the character that keeps the team together in s3ep3, when he argues with Keith about him separating the team). 

And I think that that’s what makes him leadership material.

Allura says differently, telling Lance that his decision to support Keith and become his right hand man makes him,

But I’d argue that Lance isn’t really all that similar to Alfor. Or, at least, not in that way. Unlike Alfor, Lance wants to be Black Paladin. And while Alfor steps down because he acknowledges Zarkon as a better military leader, Lance steps down because a) the Black Lion chose Keith and he respects that decision and b) recognizes that being the Black paladin isn’t about having “your moment”-- it’s about leading the team, and pursuing Black for that purpose was wrong. 

Keith parallels Alfor more than Lance does, in my opinion. 

Running ahead of the group? 

Does that sound like anybody we know lmao?

Not only that, but Keith and Alfor each show an unwillingness to be Black Paladin, both arguing that they’re not suited for the position. And, the real whammy:

And:

The sword is. Literally the Red Paladin’s weapon. All of this, combined with Keith and Red’s close bond (she! saved! him! twice! last! season!), Keith’s compatibility with the Red Paladin’s traits (”temperamental,” “fastest and most agile,” “unstable” (see the entire first half of season 3 lol), etc.) the weird lack of closure between Keith and Red during the lion swap, Keith having some trouble flying Black and finding her too slow for him (and Lance finding Red too fast... hm....), and Lance referring to Red as ‘Keith’s lion’ makes me think that Red and Keith’s story together isn’t finished yet.

As for Lance? Despite his initial rejection by the Black Lion, I still think we’re going to see him pilot her in some capacity at some point in this series, even if I’m wrong about everything else in this meta lmao. Season 3 was characterized by what I think was Lance quietly taking on some of the responsibilities of leadership that Shiro left behind.

He’s the character that stresses the importance of teamwork throughout the season. Keith, whom I love to bits, is more inclined to want to hit hard and fast, hence his aggressive pursuit of Lotor in this episode. It’s Lance that gets him to step back and slow down so as to not leave his team behind. And when Keith runs ahead-

It’s Lance who gets everyone to stick together.

Lance is also the character we see most supporting and encouraging others in season 3, most notably Keith and Allura. He tells Allura that he’s honored to have lost Blue to her and, adorably, apparently tried to mentor her on how to fly Blue-

-which didn’t go well because she yelled at him too haha. As for Keith, Lance is the one who really pushes him to accept his position as Black Paladin. But he also falls into the role of being Keith’s voice of reason. He’s arguably Keith’s biggest supporter, but he’s also Keith’s greatest critic if need be, which we see in episode 3. 

I think this scene really sums it up:

When Keith realizes he fucked up, Lance does two really cool things: he says “lol yeah you did” and then he says “but now we gotta fix it.” We. Lance shows an ability to call other people out on their mistakes while also saying “but I’m still in your corner, no matter what.”

The maturity he displays here, and in other spots throughout the season (specifically his acceptance of Black’s decision and his passing of Blue to Allura), really screams “leader” to me. 

And then there’s arguably the most important leaderly thing Lance brings to the table: his ability to communicate.

Just... honestly take a look at the entirety of this fight sequence. It’s so organized. Lance is the social guy, and it really works to his advantage when it comes to coordinating with others. Hunk voices a concern? Lance offers an explanation for his actions. He’s also a really clever guy, coming up with interesting work-around solutions to problems (flipping the blue lion to make that shot in this fight, and then later on in the season shooting the control panel to keep more guards from coming into the room they’re in).

And when he can’t find a solution to a problem himself?

He asks for the opinions of others. Lance takes charge in this scene, and the battle is characterized by communication with and listening to the people he’s working with. Which is a problem the team later runs into during episode 3 against Lotor on the gas planet. If you compare the two fights, this one is the more cohesive one, for the sole reason that it involves more communication between team members.

Because, if there’s anything that definitely characterizes Lance, it’s that he’s the one we see talking to people the most out of the rest of team Voltron. And that’s good for a leader. He makes sure everyone’s okay (”Allura, are you doing alright in Blue?”), offers support, voices concerns and often asks questions, gives frequent warnings to others in battle (”Hunk you’ve got a fighter on your six” “Guys! Fighter!”), and asks them for ideas when he’s lost.

Lance is the character who facilitates communication between the others. He’s also the one who “assembles Voltron” for the first time, so to speak. He drags Hunk over to Pidge, and then Hunk and Pidge over to Keith and Shiro. He’s the one who brings the team to the Castle, and is the first to interact with Allura and Coran. He’s, in a way, the social center of the group, and the character who was the first to form connections with most of the others.

And the rest of the team kinda seems to acknowledge this on some level. He’s the one they look to when Keith’s having trouble. They naturally expect him to handle the situation. 

When Allura describes the black paladin, she talks about a “born leader that is in control at all times.” Someone, she says, “whose men will follow without hesitation.” And I think that Lance, after being rejected by Black, begins to fall into that role. He shows maturity and stability in the face of this lion change. Others look to him for help. They actually listen to him when he tells them what to do (re: “Keith, don’t do this!”). 

He really just had to make that initial choice between his “need for glory” and the team, and then he like. Started to slowly become the leader Voltron needed.

So, where does lion sharing fit into all of this?

Well, for one, I don’t think we should necessarily count Keith out as Black Paladin yet. Black did choose him-- I just think we’re waiting for another shoe to drop, the shoe being Lance. Keith does begin to take charge and fit into his new role towards the end of the season, bringing everyone together to form Voltron, comforting Allura after the loss of the comet, trying (and arguably failing but eh) to comfort Lance over the whole “six paladins” thing (including trying to stay behind on the mission so that Lance can pilot Red!), etc. Plus, the scene in episode 6 where Keith maneuvers Voltron out of the way of the laser really had me feeling some leadership Keith vibes. Ultimately, I think that Lance and Keith are two different types of leaders. Lance is good at strategy and communication, while Keith has good instincts and fighting skill. So... I think we might be looking at a coleadership situation.

Lance’s somewhat delusional rambling about Keith being his Garrison rival here sets a precedent: Lance and Keith are “neck and neck.” Wherever one is, the other isn’t far behind. And this holds up narratively. Keith’s a fighter pilot? Lance takes Keith’s spot when he drops out. Keith goes to rescue Shiro? Lance goes to rescue Shiro. Lance becomes a paladin? Keith becomes a paladin. Keith becomes the red paladin? Lance becomes the red paladin. Keith becomes the black paladin...? 

Hm.

Lance and Keith, since their introduction, have been coded as two halves of a pair. At first that relationship begins as slightly antagonistic (tbh the better word would probably be petty lmao), but then:

They’re a team. 

The inclusion of this little moment between Keith and Lance means something. Their partnership is emphasized here. The background is purple, a combination of their two established colors, red and blue.

The same thing happens here:

In this scene, which is arguably the turning point in season 3, blue and red come together in the middle to make purple. This is the scene where Keith and Lance finally strike their balance, Lance getting Keith to stop his pursuit of Lotor in order to look out for the team. It’s in the purple area of the shot that Lance and Keith are having their conversation-- literally meeting in the middle.

And, you know, the Black Lion’s quintessence is purple, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. The two of them need each other to properly lead the team, no matter what lion each is in. Just take another look at that shot where Keith and Lance are carrying Shiro-- it’s the two of them, blue and red, holding up Shiro, purple, between the two of them. And they do it together.

So, why wouldn’t Lance also carry half of the burden of the Black Lion with Keith?

Honestly, though, even if he doesn’t and I’m totally wrong, I don’t really mind. Black Paladin Keith has been fun so far, and has opened the door to some really cool team dynamics. Lance and Keith have already fallen into a sort of coleadership, so if things progress as they are, I can see it being just as compelling and interesting. But, I do still think that we’ll see Lance in Black at least once.

Anyway, this is long as fucking balls so I’ll stop here (got another Black Paladin Lance post if you wanna hear more rambling though lol). But, as a parting shot, I’ll leave you with this:

In the scene where Allura is assigning the lions, both Keith and Lance are shown in the shot with the Red Lion, seemingly foreshadowing Lance’s future role as the Red Lion’s paladin. And in the shot where she assigns the Black Lion, we can see Shiro, Keith, and, just barely-

-Lance.

[quant-um-fizzx]

An Inconvenient Theory

I have seen some new and intriguing specs floating around about Prometheus. I'm not ready to jump on board with them, but I do want to sort out some of my thoughts.

Words cannot fully capture how very underwhelmed I am with the prospect that Prometheus miiiight actually be the son of a never before heard of season one List statistic. I sincerely hope this is all a very elaborate diversionary tactic on the part of Prometheus. 

So, I have a few theories based on whatever method the show is employing either through creativity or necessity. 

 1) If they have their original vision intact: 

Prometheus is Tommy. They've been laying the groundwork for years. If this isn't Tommy...mark my words: they wanted him to be and they will use all that groundwork in a later season if the behind-the-scenes logistics allow for it. 

 2) Occam's Razor: 

It really is some rando dude of which we've never heard and the whole mess is going to be spun like a lesson in butterfly wing flapping. Look what karma hath wrought. We may never know, but if This Foolishness goes down, I would put all my chips down that the writers ended up with limited options due to scheduling or whatever and this was the shoehorning into the Original 5 Year Arrow Plan that they were able to accomplish. (Much like many have speculated that BMD was an old plot that didn't quite make sense for olicity but got used anyway) 

 3) Deja Vu Malcolm is Prometheus:

 This makes little to no sense narratively, imho, because he (mercifully) hasn't been part of the narrative this season apart from the crossover. But, it DOES bookend with season 1. Necessity of scheduling could well make Malcolm Be Prometheus. 

 4) Keep Your Enemies Closer:

Roy Harper is Prometheus He is the ONLY other character that got set up with a mysterious yet Never Disclosed backstory & also hasn't been mentioned lately. His mother could feasibly be the woman in Opal City. He DID tell Thea that he "lost someone, too." Most Damning Evidence: Prometheus has performed some Unnecessary Parkour. I'd take Roy as the preferable alternative to Tommy over everything else I've seen. I know Adrian Chase is in play. He’s as likely as any other. I just don’t care. I don’t. The only moment i cared about Adrian one way or the other was when he helped Diggle. Beyond that, I have not been given a reason to care about this guy. I don’t remember anything else he’s done beside help Quentin carry evidence to the lock up (it’s the evidence I remembered more) and when he punched a mask during questioning.  Theories aside, I enjoy speculating. That being said, I have to be honest that some interviews by CW show runners have dissuaded me from thinking a viewer has much hope of solving a season mystery these days simply because it seems THE SHOWS DON'T HAVE AN ACTUAL PLAN WHEN THEY START THE SEASON. Remember when Marc et al told us they wrote the grave scene last year and hadn't decided who was going to die? I wrote that off as a convenient fib to prevent leaks. Now, I'm not so sure. I also read an article about CW's Riverdale. The writers said when they pitched the show pilot to CW, the network was very curious who had killed Jason Blossom. The writers admitted they hadn't even planned on him being murdered at that point! They also said they are even NOW writing the season - the season and the show that opened with the murder of a boy as the central tension - without determining themselves which character killed Jason. They said they wanted to see how all the characters interacted etc before assigning murder to a character.  What. The. Actual. Hell.  To me, the whole point of a mystery is to solve the mystery. Tune in to look for clues. Look, I am a writer. I acknowledge there are different methods. But one universal truth about good writing, solid writing, is that the author/writer KNOWS their characters. They know stuff that never makes it to the page. Think of how Rowling is able to tell her audience details years later that STILL fit in the narrative. She knows these characters. She knows their backstories. You cannot know a character's motivations if you don't know their background. That's a sure fire recipe to get wildly OOC moments. 

 I USED to expect being able to watch a show and put together pieces of a season-long puzzle and, at the very least, hope to see the foreshadowing or clues the writers give us to solve the Big Mystery.  My official take on Prometheus is that he SHOULD be Tommy. I've been saying Tommy is pit-alive and evil via Malcolm since season 3 when Malcolm flipped his lid about the Pit changing people. Constantine remarking that he was involved with something similar to Sara's displaced soul the year prior firmed up my beliefs.  But... Often what SHOULD be and what IS don't end up being the same thing. I truly think the 5-year Arrow plan was to bookend the series with Tommy coming back as The Dark Archer...Prometheus is the revamp of that original vision. Maybe they started the season thinking Colin would be available. Maybe they didn't. Maybe they had a plan from day one or maybe they thought they'd make Prometheus whichever old character whose actor was actually available when the time came. 

 I'd even take Helena at this point. 

[sword-and-quill]

@oldspeaker said: I’m definitely with Sid here. The asymmetry of both situations – beginning with Mara’s experiences of alienation when interacting with another girl of (presumably) the same age to the affection she expresses towards Thein, which (despite having witnessed his betrayal) persists, then slowly subsides, eventually giving way for similar feelings of estrangement – creates an atmosphere of isolation, confusion and insecurity.

Mara doesn’t quite fit in with her college friends and as it turns out, she doesn’t quite fit in with her other friends either, even when rejecting further attempts of (supposed) normalcy. The excerpts start and end with this particular feeling: I’m left …destabilized. While Booker takes the role of the only constant here, he’s still the one pressing to end Mara’s sole important friendship/romance! His decision… makes me bitter. And a bit renitent. Like, hell, Thein is OBVIOUSLY shady as fuck, but …really? Booker’s a bit of a paternal figure here, and the scenes certainly illustrate how young Mara is – ironically it does signify her as an “ordinary adolescent”, even though her work and her function as the “chosen one” are everything but ordinary. I’m curious as to why Booker chose to have Mara escort him – the implicit willingness to have her attack Thein weighs heavy because he should be VERY MUCH AWARE Thein “isn’t just another demon”. And why is T allowed to leave, despite all these ostentatious threats? Who can you trust, Mara? EVERYONE seems ought to manipulate you, somehow. I get a bit of teen angst here, haha.

Your observations are very accurate! And I think understanding these situations will (hopefully) assist in establishing the basis from which Mara will go forward to meet her new companions, as this is quite early in the book.  Not to get too pedantic, but I really, really want to drive home the themes of intimacy vs isolation, trust vs mistrust, settling on identity - she’s at a vulnerable point as a young adult and the authority figures in her life are indeed destabilizing her development and future! This is a huge part of why her new friends and forming a proper cell with them is going to be so important: they are going to be people she can trust, people she chooses to trust. It’s going to become so important to her to have equals and peers, instead of mentors and teachers.

Booker may be a good person - and I will go ahead and say that I think he is a relatively good person - but he’s still a flawed human who began her hunting education at a time when he was too wrapped up in his own grief to realize the harm he might be doing by thrusting her headlong into an explicitly violent and dangerous life. Screw the Powers That Be, Mara was a teenager and she wasn’t ready to grow up like that and the adults in her life should have known better. As it is with so many parental figures in this world, sometimes the best he can do isn’t always the best choice or outcome. The Booker we see in the current narrative has since realized most of his mistakes and is trying to correct them, but how do you really take something like all of that back?

As to why Mara escorted Booker to break off the alliance, well... the answer to that is the same reason for why they entered into an alliance in the first place: They’re largely on their own. They don’t have a big conspiracy backing them up, not even a full cell like some hunters do. If Thein were to have killed Booker during that meeting and Mara wasn’t present to witness it, there was a very real danger that he could just turn back up and eventually obfuscate the issue to the point that she would have to take his word on it because she has no one else to turn to.

It probably would have been a lot more practical for them to ambush and kill Thein in that particular meeting, but I think that would have been a bigger ask than Mara could’ve handled. I think Booker understands that much. It’s one thing to cut off your best friend, it’s entirely another to kill them. And since Booker doesn’t have the supernatural abilities Mara has, he couldn’t take that task upon himself.

AND THEIN’S CLAWS ARE SO COOL. The text installs them as one of his central nonverbal communicators – to be honest I kinda waited for him to DO anything with them (aside from mentioned flexing). But I think they primarily serve to illustrate how terribly inhuman he is? I definitely get a strong “Yep. I’m a predator. Why you askin’?” vibe. Lovin’ how you described his facial expressions, by the way, beautifully adds to the tension – I! Almost! Died! When! He! Reached out with his powers! Most important thing, though: WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? 

AH, thank you!!! I have a lot of fun playing with his ambient powers & claws, haha. I would say that you’ll be happy to hear he DOES do something with his abilities very soon, but... well, happy isn’t the right word. I miiiight be saving them up on purpose so that when he does unleash, it has the proper effect.

AS TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, I... COULD ANSWER THAT QUESTION. And I’m tempted to? Technically, I have it all written out, but... BUT... honestly, I’m afraid. I was afraid to post Anne’s diablerie of Liesl too, but... I NEED TO GET OVER THAT, SO

I will post it up!