#I mostly do the ‘my faves actually hate me’ stuff when I’m feeling mad at myself or smthn like that

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Some info abt my self insert/sona hhhfhff sorry if this stuff is annoying I’m working on fandom stuff I promise it’ll b back to that soon shdhdhd

More doodles under the cut,

Yes I am, in fact, a Wreck. Idk what to tell u

[linawritestwst]

my least favourite twst chapter is definitely ch2, i just feel like leona was done so dirty and a lot of the plot didn’t make sense ;-; i do think it had it’s good parts! like riddle fixing mcs tie (which was really cute…) and the heartslabyul gang going around looking for potential victims, but the major plot points were :/ and leona overvlotting made no sense when ruggie was the one using all the magic, because of that his OB scene was easily the least impactful to me.

i’m also very very critical of chapter 5, but that’s mostly because pomefiore is my favourite dorm. i wasn’t a fan of the idol training camp thing to start with, and reading ch6 makes me even more mad because the pomefiore boys are written a lot better there imo and more justice is given to their dynamic. especially rook and vil. epel was done well in ch5 though, his scenes were awesome.

i’m curious to know what your least favourite chapter is now as well!

(spoiler warning for chapter 5)

OHH about chapter 2, i felt that. i'm not sure, maybe i'm wrong, but i feel like after chapter 1, all other chapters started to feel too similar to original disney movies? like, chapter 1 definitely had that "rebelling against queen of hearts" theme but it still felt like something new to me and something that was based on alice in wonderland but didn't copy every single detail. and i don't think that the lion king's plot works well in twst setting or maybe it COULD have work, but.. NOT LIKE THAT. also, maybe it's just me, but i feel like leona's "overblot motive" was kinda underwhelming and didn't make that much sense? like yeah, i know, he's based on scar, i get it, they had to make him hate his brother or feel inferior to him, but he only mentioned hating malleus in this chapter, so him hating the fact that he's a "younger child" comes out of nowhere? maybe i forgot some stuff, but still, it just feels weird. ALSO YEAH i actually didn't notice that when i read the chapter 2 translation for the first time, but leona overblotting really is strange and it should've been ruggie instead of him. (also i think that ruggie overblotting would be much more interesting? like him getting tired of leona and all would be really cool to see)

and oh, i remember when i started reading ch5 translation, i was like: "why does this feel like ch1 but.. i don't know, high school musical edition" because in the beginning it had pretty much the same theme, like "oh, this dorm leader is strict and nrc boys don't like strict dorm leaders >:( but also we have to sing and dance this time" and now that i'm playing twst en, i'm starting to think that pomefiore is actually my second fave dorm, but like?? i love their dynamic and personalities more in other chapters and stories but not in this one, the one that is supposed to tell us more about them. i liked the theme of vil hating neige because i thought that "characters that are based on snow white and evil queen being popular on social media and having one-sided rivalry that is on vil's side" sounded fun, but.. idk, i didn't like the ending of chapter 5. it just didn't feel right.

[ptergwen]

right place, wrong time | p.p.

w/c: 1.3k

warnings: mostly angst and mentions of breakup

a/n: hi i’m so so sorry for barely being here lately :/ my posts keep getting hidden from tags and i don’t know i’m trying to figure it out, but i did write this and it’s kind of random honestly? i liked the idea tho i hope y’all do too

━━ °:･。.

only peter looks pretty when he cries. happy tears, sad tears, all kinds of tears. you told him once. it was to cheer him up, but you meant it. you ended up getting a laugh from him. he even smiled while you dabbed at his eyes with a tissue.

sometimes, he needs more than words. peter is a naturally emotional person. he doesn’t just feel things. he embodies them. for example, he’ll bounce up and down if he’s excited. the tips of his ears turn red whenever he’s nervous. it’s like he takes an emotion and becomes it. that isn’t the worst habit to have. he’s really empathetic because of it.

it becomes a problem when you can’t help him. there aren’t many times he’s gone to someone other than you for support. you’re his best friend in the world. you usually know how to make him feel better. the rare times you don’t always crush you both, and right now is one of them. peter is dealing with something you’ve never experienced before. it’s a breakup.

heartbreak, sure. you’ve had your share. it’s the relationship part that separates the two of you.

he texts you asking to come over at eleven on a thursday. it has to be serious. the fact that it’s a school night and he asked first tells you everything. you’re surprised to hear him knock at your apartment door instead of your window. you tiptoe out of your room so your parents won’t hear. peter’s bloodshot eyes are hidden in the dim hallway lighting.

he’s silent while you two sneak back into your room. he takes a seat on the bed. his lip instantly starts quivering and tears fill his eyes. you have your back to him because you’re shutting the door. “no suit tonight? i thought you were gonna ask for-“ you turn around. your chest tightens at the sight of him.

“peter, what’s wrong?” you coo, sitting down next to him. your eyebrows are knitted into a concerned line. he doesn’t say anything. he just lets the tears roll down his cheeks, biting his lip to hold in a sob. “peter,” you keep your voice light. you take one of his hands in yours. it feels limp, but he eventually laces your fingers together.

“what’s wrong?” you repeat. “it- it’s mj,” he chokes out, watery eyes meeting yours. the intensity of his gaze almost makes you look away. you squeeze his hand. “did something happen to her? is she okay?” he breaks the eye contact. there’s a beat of silence before he speaks, his voice quieter.

“she broke up with me.”

that was one of your own heartbreaks. the two of them dating. you wanted to be happy for them, and you tried to. they’re your friends. if they liked each other, then you liked them together. you’d even helped peter plan their first date. the jealousy kicked in after the next few.

they started spending so much time away from the rest of the group. everyone knew you were closest with peter before him and mj became a couple. you were never mad at her particularly for changing that. that’s how boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to be. it was the fact that you couldn’t fill the spot.

their relationship made you come to terms with your feelings. worst timing ever, but that’s your luck. you’d be an awful friend to both of them if you ever said anything. so, you didn’t.

when mj made a ‘save me’ fave every time peter touched her, you looked the other way. when peter told you about some grand gesture he came up with, you said it sounded nice. all good friend things. that’s you.

“wait, what?” you ask, the shock in your voice making peter whimper. “please don’t make me- me say it again.” he drops his head down so you can’t see him anymore. a frown takes over your lips. “no, i-“

you’re not sure what to say, actually.

“i’m so sorry, peter.” you let go of his hand so you can put yours on his back. “i’m sorry.” his whole body shakes under your touch. silent tears drip down his cheeks. they’re the kind of tears that come when you have no more energy. you just open your eyes and let them fall out.

“it’s okay. i mean it’s no- not, but thanks,” he gets out. your hand rubs up and down his back now. “do you know why?” you have your own idea, but this isn’t a good time to be right. “if you wanna tell me,” you add.

“she said it was too- too much for her. she- she didn’t like all the touching,” he sniffles, sitting up again. “apparently, we’re better as friends.”

you had a feeling. mj hates the typical romantic stuff that peter loves. he kind of smothered her with affection. she’s still your friend, and you could tell she wasn’t ready. but, peter is also your friend. you need to help him through this.

“how was i supposed to know? she never told- told me until today.” he locks eyes with you again. his are pleading. “i feel so- so bad. i never wanted to make her uncomfortable.” you shake your head and press your palm into him gently.

“you can’t blame yourself, pete. besides, i don’t think mj is mad at you.” he licks the tears off his lips and exhales. “then why would she break up with me?” “she just...” you let out a breath. “you both want different things, you know? there’s nothing wrong with that.”

peter lets his head fall onto your shoulder. you try to ignore your heart fluttering. again, terrible timing.

“i really liked her, y/n,” he nearly whispers. you put an arm around his neck. he nuzzles his cheek against you with a sniffle. “i know you did.”

“remember that, um, that deal we made last year?” peter asks quietly, glancing over at you.

it’s been crossing your mind a lot recently. you honestly thought he’d forgotten about it. the whole thing was a joke, really. you’d made it when you were both sleep deprived and laying on a random rooftop somewhere.

both of you were extremely single at the time, not that that’s changed. the deal was that if neither of you were married by the time you turned thirty, you’d marry each other. you’re still more than a decade away from that point, so you aren’t too sure why peter is bringing it up.

“yeah, why?” you murmur. he sighs and hides his face in your shoulder. “can i take you up on it?” you wish he wasn’t kidding, but he probably is. you’ll just do the same. “you have to get may’s permission first.” peter moves off of you suddenly.

“i wanna be loved already. i’m probably too young to say that, but i can’t wait anymore.”

this is the perfect moment. he’s basically asking you to confess to him. well, he’d take anyone. that’s not the point. you’re here, and you love him. all you have to do is say it.

you swallow your spit. “i... i love you.” “yeah. i love you, too,” peter replies with no hesitation. he sniffles, but only because he just finished crying. he’s not saying it in the same context as you. you don’t think so, at least.

“i’ll look for a promise ring in the morning.”

he sounds too serious. your hand falls from around him, eyes blown wide. peter mindlessly takes it in his. he traces his fingers over your open palm while you sit in silence. you’re watching him. he eventually closes your hand and puts his on top of it.

“are we still joking?” you finally speak. peter lets a long breath out of his nose. “i don’t know.”

-

[sebchalex]

writing tag!

aaa thank you so much @blesshimvettel for tagging me!! 💚💚💚 the questions were so fun to answer :D

Answer those questions while being as honest as possible, you can skip a question if it’s really too hard for you to answer, then tag three people to answer this list as well! :)

Which of your fics you wish had more kudos/comments/bookmarks? 

HMMM... If I was completely honest then every one of them jsjsjs. On the top of my head it’s probably my newest one, Schadenfraude, because I did do a lot of research for it. (And by research I meant rereading the whole Aussie Grit and highlighting every time Mark explains how much he hated Seb lmao.)

How to Start A Farm When You’re A Racing Driver is also a nominee for this! 

Which of your fics do you feel is overrated? 

Man, this question is SO HARD. I.... I guess it’s running in the shadows ?? 😧 I wrote it in like one sitting back then when I was in a special mood jndjfkn. Now when I visit it again I’m just like... my god LMAO (*ﾟーﾟ*)

Mostly I think it’s just how I feel about my works in general though, and I’m trying to work on that jsjsjs

What is the fic that took you the most time to write?

keep a place for me! Not only was the pairing rarer than diamonds so I had to make up most of the stuff, but it’s also the only multichapter I did without planning.

For a one-shot, it’s blazing my tirade. From the first draft to publishing took me 4 months, although I did take a break for a few months in-between.

What do you think is the best fic you ever wrote (until today)? 

I like to think that every fic I write is better than the last one! So Schadenfraude.

What do you think is the worst fic you ever wrote (until today)? 

Oofft... it’s gotta be a self insert x Roman Sionis fic I made after watching BOPATFEOOHQ lmaoooo. But it’s my trash and I love it 😋

What is the saddest thing that happened to you related to a fic (may it be success, a draft that erased itself and so on…)? 

This isn’t really sad, but sometimes I write a fic and I put it out there but the feedback doesn’t quite reach my expectations. I try to not measure my worth as a writer from external reception, but yeah, it’s hard.

What is/are the comment(s) you received that you can never forget even now (negative and positive)?

Ohh I love every comment that quotes back the fic to me or just tell me how they feel after reading it in general. I remember one of my favourite authors doing this and I was on the moon 🥺 Sometimes people also make observations about a section that you didn’t even realize could be interpreted that way, which is so cool! It makes writing and publishing your works all the more worthwhile imo.

A fic you’d dream to write even if you know it wouldn’t get much readers/feedback? 

Sebchal slowburn kidfic... it has actually seen some growth since the last time I answered another question with the same answer, but yea, it’s probably going to be mostly tropey crack when I finish it jsjsjs.

Also, a Mad Men AU probably? It’s my fave show!

Coming back to the last question, did the fact that a fic wouldn’t get many readers (rare ship/different dynamic and so on) already stopped you from writing it?

Hmm, not really? I mean I did once open the Ilott/Albon tag with taking chances LMAO. So not stopped, but definitely at times it could be dispiriting.

Which of your fics represent you the best?

I think hopefully, one day you will love me back probably represents my humor best! I also put a bit of me on every characters I write, so every fic I write has a little piece of me in there 😁

What is your main source of ideas?

Canon stuff, interviews, romcoms, songs, and exchanging ideas and brainrots with friends jsjsjsj.

Is there an author that inspired you?

Gosh there are so many from different fandoms. gemjam, museaway, FabulaRasa, Mithen... those are the ones on the top of my head, there are a lot honestly.

Is there a fic you wish people to read, because it left a big impression on you?.

*cracks knuckles* me and my ## pages of ao3 history’s time to shine 😍 here are some few fics I rarely see people talk about, so:

Antartica Pierlex: [2310] [Antarctic Adventure AU] A place further than the universe by mandzilkos

Mark comes back to RBR after retirement to help out Seb: The Edge of Glory by gemjam

TIME LOOP SEBMARK (SAD): We Are All Made Of Stars by gemjam

Jenson screws everyone as the result of the EU referendum (I know, it’s wonderful):  you can't just give it away/like it means nothing by orphan_account

The early ‘10s RBR team as a dysfunctional family (glorious): Where The Heart Is by gemjam

Also this isn’t F1, but The Joy Series by mystivy is a recent read that left its mark on me. I think you can read it blind without any canon knowledge.

What is your favourite topic to read? And to write?

HUMOR, domesticity, established relationship, PWF, character study!

What motivated you to make your works public?

Ummm the need for internet points obv 😜🤣 nah but I’ve been publishing stuff since I was like 12, even though sadly most of them are deleted now :( (megatip: don’t ever delete your works no matter how cringe you were. Cringing at your old works is a sign of growth <3)

A word you’d like to say to people who pass by / who follow you / who read your fics?

Thank you so much!! All your words mean the world to me, and honestly words can never express my thanks to you all 🥺💚

tagging @whatdidwejustdo @meova101 @leqclerc  and whoever else want to do this! (if you’ve done this/don’t feel like doing it, feel free to skip!)

[liyuesbian]

yeah I honestly liked all of the inazuma 5* quests we've done so far! I think they all added something to those respective characters, save for ayaka's (it did further her characterization but also,,, a literal date. I think it was endearing but it made her feel kinda 2d? idk) I feel like the first two were kinda filler mostly because 2.0 was sorta the calm before the storm,,, (although why were we so passive fjdsfks i feel like the traveler needs to seek out stuff by themselves more lmao) raiden is finally someone who's both girlboss and kind and not reduced to either extreme (or limited to "(hot) wife material"), which is very very good

about the archons: YEAH I love Zhongli very much but I think he owes the adepti (at least) a Full explanation... he did mention that he hinted to both the Qixing and adepti that he's not dead but ganyu's dialogue when we were getting glaze lilies for the rite of parting AAAA I was so miffed Zhongli couldn't have taken her aside to tell her right there. Xiao too, literally they would be so worried for him and they deserve to hear it from him personally dammit >:|

I think the reasoning for the "test" was like. the traveler has a voiceline that basically says: if people knew Morax walked through Liyue every day, they would just go to him for advice, hang onto his every word and try to analyze and reanalyze it all the time, like with Ningguang's paper snow. I feel like that would be the scenario if Morax stepped down peacefully, since everyone would know he still exists; he doesn't get a good retirement and Liyue still relies on gods too much. trying to drown the city was a bit overkill (childe... o-o) but I will hesitantly trust Zhongli when he says he could and would save Liyue if it truly needed him.

also true true! the people still really believe in the archons, even with barbatos who's been absent for so long (venti...), and even after their gnoses are gone and all. it's cool how they have vastly different governance styles but their whole nation More or Less respects them

baal/ei hate is so uncalled for though wtf. At least Raiden's still doing her job unlike her slacking coworkers Zhongli and Venti. and regardless of whether she's done right or wrong, people can like fictional characters who've done bad things.... why must you inject morality into your personal faves :| (genshin fandom highkey sucks oml)

yeah!! the resistance barely got a mention except for Gorou in the end scene, and it's like ??? the war is over? or? it just went by too fast and it felt like in the end the resistance were mere pawns, since the real stuff was resolved by us and Yae (paimon's line that's like "they aren't a match for the raiden shogun" at the battle cutscene is the epitome of the resistance in 2.3)

nobody has explained to me how the resistance got into Tenshukaku/Inazuma City in the first place either 😩 it is nice to see you, Kazuha and Gorou, but what are you doing here?

-welcometoteyvat (eh you can call me by mystic or my url lol, I don't really care, and I think I returned your rant with a longer rant too hsdfsa)

AJWADAH hi mystic! i love how this turned into a "thoughts about 2.1!" discussion into a whole genshin discussion #''1?2!! AND I'M ALL FOR THIS BACK AND FORTH THING

(here we go again, 2.1 spoilers below the cut)

yes!! this date thing with the female characters needs to stop... and actually, i would've loved to know more about baal's friends in the actual story quest (like with venti) instead of having to explore inazuma to find out more (but i will admit that i do lowkey like how the lore is hidden inside teyvat's nooks and crannies but in the case of la signora... not really. we should've learned more abt her first before her death instead of us having to look at an artifact set's description. i'll forgive mhy for this though - maybe we'll get to know her more when snezhnaya releases) and i share your sentiments about raiden/ei! what a girlboss!

MHM i wasn't gonna get into the whole thing with the adepti and venti's extreme laziness but hey, it's here now lmao and right?! but hinting is not good enough for me >:( AHHAHA he owes xiao and ganyu so much they're basically avid followers of his and they have history togther but he doesn't even tell them the truth?! >:(

yepp i remember that but even then, he could've just said "yo i'm stepping down. you won't know who i am bc i'll be anonymous or whatever"... and it seems like zhongli had already integrated himself well in liyue. nobody questioned his sudden appearance or mentions when he came to be wangsheng's consultant (maybe there is but i can't rmbr anything off the top of my head)

RIGHT?! goddamn raiden is trying her best out here!! i'm not excusing her actions or ei's ignorance towards the inazuman modern society pre-raiden quest but she's still trying to run her country and the corruption of a certain influential department didn't rly help either. (and yep the genshin fandom does suck D: we don't have to "moralise" every aspect of fiction!!)

exactlyyyy and again, traveller saves the day !!!! i get that they have main character armour or wtv but still, aren't they a bit too invincible? they defeated an actual ARCHON on the second try && i can't believe it only took two people to stop an entire war which had people suffering, trying to escape inazuma and the tenryou commission and some even went MAD and had personality changes when they lost their visions but now it's all fine and dandy?

OH MY GOD that's true! i didn't think about that.. how did the resistance get into tenshukaku so quickly when they were, what, two islands away?

sigh 2.1 was messy

[miggydiaz]

for the salty ask: 3, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25 and 27 for spn

I had to do this one today because I have a LOT of Supernatural feelings and so a lot of these are even longer than my CK one. But thanks for the ask @wonderwolfballoon!

UNPOPULAR SUPERNATURAL OPINIONS AHOY: INCLUDES ANTI-DESTIEL SENTIMENTS AND OTHER UNSAVORY ELEMENTS

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? 100000000% I have unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion in the SPN fandom. SPN was the fandom that taught me to make JUDICIOUS use of the blocking feature tumblr offers in order to curate my experience. I would actually encourage anyone and everyone to use the blocking feature if they disagree with people. Honestly, we don’t owe anyone our time or energy, especially on the internet! It is much healthier than sending or responding to hate, IMO. 7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?* This is actually a hard one for me to answer, so let me start by saying -- I have not seen a SINGLE episode since 9x05? I think? Whichever episode was the Dr. Deanlittle one where he talks to animals. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the first 5 seasons, and they are all I watch anymore and I pretend nothing else exists after that (except The French Mistake because that episode is hilarious). But uh... I guess the simple answer is when I was originally watching it, I really loved Dean. He was brash, snarky, rough around the edges... but kind of soft in a I’m too toxically masculine to deal with my softness sort of way that I love seeing characters grow out of as they mature. But when I go back and rewatch now, much older than I was in 2006 when I first started watching, I see how awful a lot of his older behavior truly was. I still love Dean, and I will be a Dean girl until I die probably, but sometimes you gotta remind yourself that your faves have been problematic in the past so you don’t put them up on fandom constructed pedestals.

10. Most disliked arc? Why? AND AS A BONUS, MY ANSWER to 11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I could write a literal essay about all of the problems I have with the later seasons (the ones I watched, which encompasses 6, 7, 8, and a few episodes of 9). But by far and away, the thing I hated most, was the Men of Letters.

Okay, this is where I am going to recognize my love of certain characters is at FUNDAMENTAL ODDS with how that character develops later and what history and background we get later on them. I RECOGNIZE this character is problematic, and I would NEVER STAND for his shit IRL, but fiction is complicated and nuanced, and fantastic circumstances do not make for normal behaviors. That being said, with all warnings I could possibly give, and with the full understanding that what I am about to say is basically fandom blasphemy of the highest order...

I like John Winchester’s character.

I know, I know. If you wanna stop reading and block me now, you are free to do that. I will not hold it against you. I am not about to apologize for anything he has done. I just need to contextualize why I have such an issue with the MOL storyline and it starts with the simple fact that I liked John Winchester as he was originally presented.

To me, and with the full understanding that I am answering this from the perspective of someone who DOES NOT regard anything past season 5 as personal canon, John Winchester is the perfect example of a truly complicated character. Here’s a parent who, if we take the pilot and the original s2 Djinn episodes at face value, could have been a great parent, who then got shoved into a fantastically impossible situation and made terrible choices that he thought were necessary in order to keep himself and his sons safe. That does not EXCUSE the heaps of abuse that he piled onto Dean in any way. We know John and Mary didn’t have a great marriage. But we also know from the pilot that John was at least a caring and present father, mostly,  for the 4 years he got to parent in a normal world, and that if Mary had lived, John would’ve been a softball playing dad who raised his kids and had a loving marriage with his wife. (Again, I need to reiterate, I did not watch anything past the early episodes of s9. If there is later canon that negates this, I do not know about it, nor do I want to because I don’t think of anything past 5 as canon) This is all important to me because these things emphasize that John was “NORMAL”. He was a mechanic, from a family of mechanics, whose father didn’t bail on him (a man in the episode where Dean is transported back in time to Lawrence tells John to ‘say hi to your old man for me’ or something to that effect). He was just a midwestern dude. Giving John Winchester a fantastical background through this Men of Letters bullshit made me SO MAD. First of all, I hate when later canon negates previous canon. I cannon TELL you how much I hate it. And the later seasons of Supernatural are riddled with stuff that doesn’t make any damn sense in the context of original, Kripke written canon, which is exactly why I stopped watching. That’s not ~Evolution of the show.~ That’s conveniently forgetting stuff that made your show and its premise so successful to begin with in order to keep filming episodes so you can keep making money. It’s the sacrifice of art for capitalism and yes I know this is a stupid TV show but as a writer myself it PISSES ME OFF.

/rant

ALSO, the idea that this toxically masculine family was set on this path by Heaven, and inherited this curse that put them on this path from their mother was such a good plot twist in its heyday. We spent four seasons thinking of Mary Winchester as a victim of circumstance, whose fate could not have been avoided because she was the mother to Sam, who is effectively cursed. And then, we learn that its BECAUSE of Mary that this ball even got rolling in the first place. IDK if you were around for that time in the fandom but at least in my circle, this was a big fucking deal. There had been so much (rightful) discourse about John before this, and what kind of parent he was, that Mary became almost deified in the same way Dean deifies her. And then we find out that this whole story gets set in motion by a decision she made because this was the life she found herself in. This was great. It was interesting. And even though the MOL doesn’t negate any of this, it does give John this weirdly fantastical that isn’t necessary. Let this guy be just some Joe Schmoe who fell in love with a kick ass hunter and had no idea any of this even existed. Let Mary and her want to be ‘normal’ be a complicated moral choice that fundamentally altered the paths of her husband and sons. It’s good tv!

Also, I fucking hate the bunker. The best episodes are Dean and Sam having moments in the car, or while in motel rooms on their cases, or whatever. I don’t mind them having a home base. I’m fine with that. But if a building could ever be a Mary Sue character, the bunker is it. I hate all of the MOL storyline, starting with this place.

I may not even tag this as Supernatural, I don’t need angry later season stans in my inbox.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

There’s nothing good about anything that happened after season 6. It’s all a bunch of retconning bullshit. Season 6 had its moments where it was interesting, so I cut it a little bit of slack, but as far as I’m concerned, the show ended in season 5. I’m not sure that’s necessarily unpopular, but it does feel that way on tumblr, so. 

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Aside from ending it in season 5?

Oooh, I’m about to blaspheme again. I am definitely not tagging this as Supernatural.

I would never have introduced Castiel, and I would’ve given that entire storyline to Anna. Or, alternatively, I would’ve flipped their story lines.

Look, for whatever it’s worth... I agree with the idea that Dean Winchester is a repressed bisexual. His Dr. Sexy love, the entire storyline with Benny in season 8, etc. I just don’t think he feels romantically about Castiel. And like, that’s okay! Just because you’re not into someone who is into you doesn’t mean you owe them a relationship or anything, no matter what the fandom thinks.

But I also think Dean has a big problem when it comes to women. Again, obviously later on in the series, Dean shifts and Charlie happens and Claire Novak and I know all of these things from gifs okay, context is not applicable here because I have none. But early on, Dean struggles A LOT with thinking of women as A) capable and B) trustworthy. He exists in a perpetual state of identifying women along the Madonna/Whore binary. Even Jo, however you feel about her, and to be clear, I loved Jo, but he doesn’t stop thinking of her really as a kid until they’re about to shoot the devil. Up until then, he’s genuinely surprised Ellen lets her out of the damn house.

Giving him a strong, capable woman who rebels against Heaven for HIM would have fundamentally altered Dean’s perceptions of women much earlier on than we get and would have forced him to examine some of that misogyny head on.

Dean has no problems trusting men. This is why the entire Gordon fiasco happens, right? It was less work for him to trust Castiel because Castiel is the inverse of Ruby. Angel to her Demon. Angels and demons don’t really have genders, but for the sake of presentation of vessels, man to her woman. Not even getting me started on the problematic parts of having significant demons mostly symbolized by women (Meg, Ruby, Lilith) and having significant angels mostly represented by Men (Castiel, Michael, Lucifer, Zachariah, Gabriel, Raphael), and how that ties into the idea of Original Sin and yada yada, but just like it’s interesting to have Mary and her decisions be the catalyst for the story, it’s interesting to have this badass warrior angel in Anna who marches down to Hell to yank Dean out, and through her interactions with him, decide to rebel against the ultimate patriarchy, while Dean gets an equally strong female counterpart to Sam’s Ruby, a woman for all intents and purposes that he respects as a soldier and an ally and not just a potential piece of ass.

Also, Castiel fans being literally unbearable is why I left the fandom. Nothing against Misha or anything, and not even anything against Cas as a character (who I very much enjoyed in seasons 4 and 5), but his fans have always been the worst and they try to insert him into everything.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Castiel/Destiel fans, which even though I also hated the direction the show was going, drove me out of the fandom. Not like, personally or directly, but just the sheer mental hoops they had to jump through in order to make their ship work and I just got tired of seeing all of the contrived meta on my dash. Oh, and the rampant misogyny that came out of those early Castiel fans. I didn’t appreciate it from the Wincest corner, and I definitely didn’t appreciate it from the fans of the new guy. Gross.

22. Popular character you hate?

Oof. I don’t know. I don’t really hate Castiel, because again, I liked him a lot in seasons 4 and 5. Even 6 was interesting, even if I don’t regard it as my own personal show canon. I don’t think there was a popular character in those first five seasons I ever really hated. I didn’t fundamentally hate a character at all until the MOL stuff came around. Um. Yeah, I don’t really have an answer for this.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Pretty much every female character ever. Jo, Ellen, Ruby, Meg... although Meg became more popular as the series went on, Anna. Um. OH, BELA. Bela ESPECIALLY, I recently rewatched season 3 and I cannot emphasize how MUCH I love Bela. She was the best purely human foil ever. Bela is hands down the character I love most that the fandom had frothing at the mouth hatred for. It doesn’t help that I legitimately think Lauren Cohan is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. But seriously, Bela. Hands down.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not? 

I have! Many of times, and ALWAYS WITH THE CAVEAT to stop at the end of season 5. Not a single one of them has listened to me and almost all of them came to me at the end of the finale and were like WHY DID I WASTE SO MUCH TIME, and I don’t want to say I told them so, but like, I explicitly in neon colored text once told them so, so like, idk what to tell them. But yes! I think if someone is interested in some classic mystery television that has an overarching theme of family and forgiveness and striking out against the boxes that life tries to put us all into, SPN is a great show. But only the first 5 seasons. Also, be prepared for some thematically problematic parts of the show because there’s a lot of cishet toxic masculinity in those early seasons, and we should examine our media critically. There’s also a lot of good though too, and IMO, the good outweighs the bad.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

I would’ve ended it at season 5. I would’ve had Sam escape the pit and seen him standing under the street lamp, but then I would’ve had him walking away to leave Dean with Lisa (btw, side note, I DIDN’T like Lisa because I don’t think Dean would ever be truly happy with someone completely outside the life). Not because Sam doesn’t love his brother, but because he *does* love his brother, and because he would want Dean to be happy, even though Dean and Sam’s ideas of what makes the other happy have always been a little bit screwed up.. but that’s a different story.

27. Least shippable character?

Probably Zachariah. God, could you imagine? And... maybe Alastair, but I’m sure there are fics out there that I do not want to think about.

[eviltwinlil-la]

6.3 Thoughts Time (this contains swtor spoilers)

-I still hate sabateur (haven’t played it pub side and I won’t because if I’m struggling with it on my warrior I won’t enjoy any more it if I’m betraying the republic instead) - IMO it only works for certain personalities and the only character I have who would want to switch sides isn’t the type to play it like that. Thesyus would outright defect (in my head canon he has defected and it’s why Halceann has taken over as my main for new story content but... that’s whatever) plus this time it felt like it made no difference because like. I warned Jonas. But then nothing changed. The flashpoint was the same for my non-sabateur warrior as it was for my sabateur

-I didn’t like that the flashpoint is basically exactly the same for both factions. It wasn’t terrible and I enjoyed playing it but it was just. Down to the boss mechanics it was exactly the same and it didn’t make me feel like it was WORTH playing twice from a story perspective which was sad

-I liked that the final bosses were returning characters! I wasn’t expecting Golah and since I had just done the Tatooine planet quest imp side with my boyfriend a week earlier (and got super mad at how long it took lmao) I knew exactly who he was straight away. It was cool to see someone who isn’t happy with how force users in the Empire throw non-force users lives away and it was interesting that he assumed the Jedi do the same - I get why cause as I said, I’d recently done the planet quest he’s from :0

The imp side final boss is from the Jedi Knight storyline, I think? (Or consular? I don’t remember because it’s been years since I last played them all the way through) it was cool to see her again too. Sucks they both could be killed which means they probably won’t appear again but whatever.

-I liked the choice of companion/guests for this too. Arn is one of my favourites so him being included was awesome, and then Rivix and Krovos were interesting. I liked all the dialogue outside of cutscenes between them because it left me wanting to know more and I hope we do learn more - like why Rivix knows so much about Jedi stuff. I know he said it’s just him doing his job or duty or whatever but he sounded suspicious when he said that... I think he’s hiding something and I want to know what!! Also the voice acting was mostly really good but no surprises there!

-flashpoint has some bugs rn but the only ones I encountered were cosmetic so I wasn’t too bothered - Rivix and Arn having the wrong lightsaber in cutscenes for example or Rivix’ lightsaber seeming to be a cartel market rifle in the charafter sheet? Also I got stuck with influence 1 Rivix both times I played and apparently that’s a bug too if the forums are anything to go by (makes sense Rivix isn’t meant to be at rank 1, since Arn for a republic charafter is at influence 25)

-Galactic Seasons is fine, I guess. I feel like they put more effort into the rewards than was needed, and maybe slightly less in the flashpoint and that sucks but like. That’s just my opinion on it and I don’t think it’s a bad thing that the seasons rewards are good. I like the new companion, just sucks that the returning sub reward companions are currently broken. I like the weapons and the armour looks cool, and I also like that it gives you incentive to play every day. Like not just log in like the log in bonuses do, but it needs you to actually play the game to get rewards. Im assuming they’re like. Using it to try to incentivise subscribing too but I don’t really care about that bc I’m a subscriber anyway

-they said no romance in the livestream last month and yet I still was disappointed at no romance content but I feel that way every update now especially with like. Characters who married vanilla companions and I’ll keep feeling that way because like... the companion interactions were some of my fave parts of the game like even when it was a two sentence cutscene with one choice but now it’s like. Cool. Haven’t spoken to anyone my characters actually care about in a while (not counting flirt options in this bc... i didn’t take any and they aren’t existing romance content)

Anyway all in all I liked the flashpoint. It was fun to play even if it felt quite short and the end was abrupt, and it wasn’t a slog to play through like SoV was when it launched so im happy with it overall. I’m interested to see where it goes and I also am looking forward to whenever we get the next content about the Mandalorians 👁_👁 I was waiting for 6.3 to drop before I did Echoes of Oblivion and SoV again cause apparently they fixed the difficulty issues with SoV so I’m gonna go do that with my inquisitor now then do the new fp again. I’ve done it four times now lmaoooo

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #293

“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”

Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany. What color are your nails? They're not painted. Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago. Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy. Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter. What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again... Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust. Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have. Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me. Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone. Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter. Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist. What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes. Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave. How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with. What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies. When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk. Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah. Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not. What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't. Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao. Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now. Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me??? For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way. Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao. What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark? Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty. How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety... What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho. Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt. What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful." What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard. What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science. Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time... Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think? Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal. Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren. Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor. How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister. Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older. When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years. What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy. Is your best friend dating anyone? No. Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no. Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck. Ever performed in a talent show? No. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope. How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them. Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep. A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend. A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined, Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed. Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place. Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class. What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible. Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it. What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue. Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No. What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia. What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian. Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think? What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it. What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall. Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know. What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao. What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can. What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any? Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down. What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple. Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition. What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think. What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall. What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life. What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same. If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that. What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm. What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up. If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.

[best-enemies]

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

[bigskydreaming]

Scoooooooore! LOL gotta love that wayback machine. Anyone remember me talking once about this series I did back in the Dark Angel fandom, one-shots of varying length focused around Max’s family who we never really saw much of in the show? So ever since then I’ve been trying to find them anywhere, since it was before Ao3, I didn’t use ff.net for that fandom, and all the fic sites and archives that were DA specific are pretty much dead and gone-zo nowadays.....but I kept coming up empty, mostly because my dumb ass wasn’t remembering my own titles correctly. So then I started searching by plugging in actual lines I could remember from the fics themselves, and that worked, and quick question self, but explain to me how it is you can remember LINES you wrote in individual fics almost a decade and a half ago, more clearly than you can remember the freaking titles of those fics themselves?

Ah, me.

Course, I still only found half of them, but that half includes most of the ones I really like best, and of the ones still lost the only one I’m really bummed about and still trying hard to find is “Little Lightning Girl,” aka Jondy’s story.

Its always a trip reading really old stuff of yours though. I’m surprised, like, there’s stuff I’ve written from around this same time, both fanfic and original, where I’m just like YIKES, no, hard pass, we’re just gonna pretend this wasn’t a thing....but most of these hold up surprisingly well? I’m pleasantly pleased? Chuffed, almost? 

Zane’s “Zen and the Art of Not Breaking Your Customer’s Fucking Face (remember: its bad for business)” is a definite keeper, heh, I amuse myself tremendously sometimes. 

Zack’s “Rules for When the Sky is Falling (plus side: this time its not your fault)” is a little weak in spots, like there’s stuff that in hindsight I could see easily strengthening the arc in that one but I’m wondering how much of that has to do with changing/evolving views on character types in general....just because Zack was never a fave of mine back when I was watching then, but falls into a character type I have a lot more appreciation and empathy for now, and that definitely would have led me to write his story differently now than I did then. 

Ben’s “They Keep Calling Me Crazy (I say: its the world that’s gone mad)” is kinda the complete reverse.....Ben falls into a character type I have soooooo much less patience for nowadays than I did back then, mostly because of well. The over-glorification of such characters and me being like okay but what about yawn though. Reading his took me back more fully to that mindset than I’ve managed in years though, so it didn’t annoy me as much as I thought it would lmfao.

Tinga’s “A Storybook Kind of Princess (a Grimm kind of happily ever after)” is as weird to me now as it was back then. Easily one of the most experimental “I have no idea what I’m actually aiming for here, just go with it” fics I’ve ever written, and apparently fifteen years later, I STILL can’t decide if I think it worked and I actually like how it came out or not. Hahaha, what is decisiveness though, other than a myth and hashtag Fake News.

Kavi’s “I Never Learned How To Play Ball (striking out comes naturally)” is still one of the weakest of the series, that hasn’t changed.....I didn’t have a really clear idea what I wanted to do with him or where I wanted to take that and that unfortunately kinda shows and the re-reading didn’t really spark anything in terms of what I would definitely have done differently if writing it now.

Vada’s “Chase Me To The Desert, Watch Me Live, I Bet I’ll Thrive (you better believe: I was born to survive)” is the complete opposite, because its another one of those very experimental pieces where I was totally winging it because we knew next to nothing about Vada in the series and I totally just pulled everything about her character and an entire storyline for her completely out of my ass and said sure, why not go with this, but surprisingly it worked I think, and it feels disconnected enough from the rest but standing alone well enough on its own that I can probably do something original with it, as I actually really like the voice I came up with for her.

Eva’s “Big Sisters Know Best (so when I say I’ll die for you: just say thank you and never look back)” I’m actually damn proud of, because its always fun when you successfully sucker punch yourself, let alone with a plot twist you don’t see coming on the reread even though you came up with it in the first place, lmfaaaaaao, and you’re like well hot damn, I do NOT remember doing that but guess I did, wow, go me.

But the big winner for me was Syl’s “The Kind of Girl You Bring Home To Meet Your Parents (when you’ve got the kind of parents that need killing).” That was always a fave, and I’m super stoked it held up as well as it did, cuz I’d hoped it would but wasn’t sure if I was just remembering it through nostalgia-colored glasses and it hadn’t actually been all that great. 

(One of the three longest ones in that series, it was a one-shot a whopping 30K in length, in which Syl wants to hijack the local mob’s operations in order to gain access to a Manticore facility in the same city so she can blow it to kingdom come, because Syl’s a little bit crazy in that ‘I know I’ve got issues and I’m totes fine with them, especially as long as I’ve got my trusty grenade launcher’ kinda way....and so to accomplish her goals, she seduces the son of the local mob boss in order to get close to his father and the inner workings of the mob. Only she eventually realizes this kid is a fucking innocent in every sense of the word, wants nothing to do with his family or their business, hates his dad, who’s abusive as hell, and once Syl concludes what she came there to do and has everything she needs, she’s halfway out the door - well, window, technically - before she stops and groans and bangs her head softly against the wall cuz she’s like, uggggh fuck, he’s totally gonna get blamed for this and his dad’s probably gonna kill him and my Jiminy Cricket’s gonna be a fucking BITCH about it forever, so, well, looks like I don’t have a choice, guess I gotta murder his dad and overthrow the mob so he can skedaddle and live a quiet life on a farm in Bumfuck, Whereverville, god, I so did not need this tonight, thanks a lot conscience, like DID I FUCKING ASK, UMM NOO?)

So like, I think that one’s got definite potential to do something else with, possibly turn into an original project, lol.

Anyway, randomness is random, but yay Wayback machine! Still kinda bummed that I could only seem to find half of them, you’d think that’d be enough to make it easy to find the other seven but nope, apparently not. Its really only Jondy’s fic that I still really want to track down though, the other six I could live without. Okay, I kinda want to reread Brin’s and see how that one holds up too. Okay and Jace’s so never mind, scratch that, still wanna find all the other seven, lmao. (I did NOT make it easy to keep track of anywhere I was or anything I was doing fifteen years ago. The mutuals on here who knew me all the way back then can attest to that, lol. Ah me, part two).

[isitandwonder]

Have been a charmie and at some point you stopped shipping them? I’m curious, why did it happen? If that’s the story actually... 😘

Hey nonnie, I’ve never called myself a charmie, I find this monicer rather ridiculous - but I did ship A/T and I still read a few authors who write for that ship... but I’m not super passionate about it or invested in it anymore, that’s true.

Why?

Because it stopped being fun and became a toxic cult.

You know, in the beginning (for me that was late summer 2017) T and A seemed rather cute together. They were goofy, had chemistry, they were kinda opposites (Tim lanky and dark and the newby, Armie tall, muscled, more experienced in the business), they were in this movie together that looked beautiful so... why not ship them?

Shipping, to me, means imagining two people being together and writing stories about it, chatting with friends, making stuff up, joking around and fantasize a little. It’s not real but something I imagine. And it’s being taken with a wink, with humor. Everyone involved knows it’s made up shit. And as long as it stays in fan spaces, I don’t see any harm done.

Well, that is not the case anymore.

So called fans or ‘shippers’ (they don’t ship, they KNOW, therefore the air quotes) harrass the real life partners and friends and associates and business partners of A and T. That is one thing I really don’t like. Keep stuff in fan spaces fgs!

But these people also harrass fellow fans who don’t agree with them. Like, wish them or their kids death, call them homophobes, call them all kinds of names, try to dox and mob them. Why should I be in a fandom that’s so full of hate and toxicity? I don’t have time for shit like that.

I still follow a few people on here who get it (you know who you are) but it becomes increasingly hard to find them.

That abyssmal state of the fandom shows esp in a field that’s really important to me and that I usually enjoy most: fan fic. I only still read about 5 authors. About half the people writing for the fandom are part of this toxic swamp I try to avoid like the plague (can we still say that?) on here and I wouldn’t touch their stories with a ten foot pole if you paid me money. Most of the other stories circle around things that simply don’t interest me or explore issues for the umpteenth time. I’m not saying that’s bad - write what the hell you like, create the 100th high school AU, whatever - but it just bores me (that is my problem. I also remeber a time when we had so much variety and creativity... go take a look at the older stories from 2017/2018, there are some true gems to be found!). It’s also a small fandom and maybe that’s the reason it becomes rather apparent that 80% of all WIPs get abandoned? Which is disappointing for a reader (I might be guilty of that as well, I don’t blame the writes, I blame the general atmosphere of this fandom that’s becoming less and less inspiring). I guess that only reflects the state of the fandom in general.

When ‘fans’ or ‘shippers’ are more into the private lives of the folks they stan (which might seem ‘natural’ for a real person ship but crosses a line when it’s carried into these peoples’ real lives), up to the point where it becomes harrassment, delusional, crazy, dangerous, rude, insulting, embarrassing and destructive, instead of supporting their faves - then it’s no wonder that this negativity creeps into other parts of fandom, driving writers and creators away.

(I recently came about a post re Tim where I had to read in the tags that he’s a great actor and that it’s sad that he has such a terrible fan base; that hurt.)

It has come to the point where I’m embarrassed to be associated with this ship - due to the very vocal delusional bunch of so-called ‘fans’ who are only interested in how much dick T gets from A. Like, for real REAL. In this fandom, a big chunk of people truly belief to KNOW that A and T are fucking like rabbits, that A will get a divorce soon (apparently since 2017; what are these people even hoping for???) and that T will only live for his daddy’s dick after that. And they go to ANY length to state and proof this and shout everyone down who might disagree. (Maybe they should masturbate a bit more to get these highly sexualized fantasies out of their systems? It also shows a lot about them, the way they view gender and sexuality, how they assign roles in this ship and what kind of behaviour/personality traits they depict over and over again. I could go on about the blatant, toxic heteronormativity that shows in this gay ‘ship’ that pretends to support LGB sexualities but this is already way too long lol).

I mean, if you want to rearrange your life around something like this - knock yourself out. It’s just not for me. There was a point I was really disappointed about these developments. Then I was angry for a few ‘bad apples’ destroying a place I loved. Now I only laugh about these people, though with some I really have pity because you can see in their posts how hard these mostly young, heterosexual women project  and that they truly have issues in their lives they should rather tackle instead of harrassing some other women on the internet who have the privilege to share the beds of the people they pretend to stan for real.

Oh, but it’s absolutely no use to talk to these so-called hardcore charmie ‘shippers’ - they are so deep down the rabbit whole they can’t and won’t come out of it or even listen. If you only say you don’t care who A or T are into for real you are a traitor, an anti, a homophobe, dumb as shit, dense, blind... That’s not a fun place in this fandom.

I mean, I was tempted to believe, too, for about 4 weeks late 2017. I was drawn intot hat dynamic of being privy to some insider info, feeling important, being in the know... But I’m so glad I was told that Liz was in Crema almost all the time during the filming - so the little stories A and T told were promo and nothing more. That was my moment of waking up. It took me like three days to come to terms with the fact that all I imagined was truly only a fantasy - but I’m so grateful I accepted that early on and was spared a lot of disappontment by that. I know a lot of people who weren’t so lucky and are now spending their days spinning more and more delusional theories to keep the world they built together...

Rn I see huge parts of the fandom trying to ‘disprove’ things they won’t belief or accept because it goes against their ‘knowledge’ of ‘what’s really going on’. So much energy goes into arguing that posts are fake and people lie etc etc. I can’t keep up with all this nonsense. And why should I? This is not fun. This is madness. This is negativity. This is destructive. Besides, most proofs are tarot readings and the analysis of pics and vids taken out of context (or are even manips). But I suppose these people find some kind of validation in their behavior? It just eludes me. I’ve deleted most of my fics, blocked and unfollowd almost everyone, and be warned, if you have charmie in your header that’s a sign for me to keep my distance...

But all of this is only my opinion, you are welcome to disagree, carve your own happy place out here, do as you please. I would never go on anyone’s blog to lecture them or police them but you asked so here’s what I have to say.

[xsecretblastsx]

1x15 - Desperately Seeking Serena

Here we are with a new recap this week. Believe it or not I’m still aiming to do at least two of these per week. So far I’m not there yet, but oh I wish, I’m going way too slow. Anyway here we go, as usual recap’s under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

A rare ocassion when we see these kids actually worried about school.

I love that Blair’s revising with Dorota.

Chuck being Chuck so he will outsource, I’m pretty sure if he actually tried he wouldn’t be half bad with these kind of stuff, but why would he bother.

Aww Dan cried whenever his dad didn’t walked him too school. He had a nice a dad, and yet...

These one of those times I wish I was american just to get the real scope of the SATS, also was that little thing Blair’s using?

Honestly it never made sense to me why there was only once spot in Yale for Constance, like isn’t this suposed to be the kind of school that like to promote that their students are really likely to get entrance to an Ivy? 

Blair is right somehow one must always say her name in full: Nelly Yuki

Perfomance anxiety? You ain’t wrong, and sadly that’s something you’ll get to know eventually about Dan Humphrey

I normally like when Chuck and Blair’s outfits matched but the colours of these coats are really obnoxious.

Those glares, there’s a short road from hate to love, just saying. Also if only Serena knew that figuring their issues out is going to take quite some time. About 5 years.

We hava name: Georgina Sparks.

I wonder which part? No Serena, i don’t want any visual, not even momentary in my head of Chuck and Georgina. UGH.

Sorry Jenny, but Blair’s SAT session do sounds so much better.

Hello Georgina.

What is the one thing no one in our group has? Compassion? that was funny.

Funny that Elise points out to Jenny about Queen Elizabeth didn’t had a King, and a year later Blair’s going to tell her the same. Nice bit.

Vanessa, always hating the rich kids as if it was a full time job, even when Nate’s being nice.

Sorry Blair, but I hate your outfit, too many dots.

Of course Nelly Yuki has to be asian. 

So this was the way Serena was pre boarding school, as much as Georgina is obviously a bad infuence I’m glad we god a snipet of it.

I wonder if Chuck was always Serena’s choice when she needed help with Georgina, because it seems in some ways like this isn’t the first time, and he gets it.

This is the part of S1 when Dan really starts to get on my nerves, because sure Serena is lying to him but he has a way of questioning her that sounds a tad desperate in not a good way. And it’s all so centered around him, he leaves her there like... I can’t deal with this right now? 

Getting dumped at a Flor Rida concert, I guess I would have reacted the same as Nelly Yuki.

Not gonna lie, I’m not a fan of this plot that has Jenny wanting to date a dude just for his money, she’s like 15 and it’s just sad.

Nate and Vanessa, a couple I actually didn’t mind, and I always felt Vanessa was at her less judgmental self when she dated Nate. 

Not the right choice Serena. And yet in a weird way it’s make sense. It ain’t easy to let the past go.

The sound of your own voice distracting you? thanks Jenny for pointing it out, I swear that Dan’s in love with the sound of his own voice.

“Like I want to believe in myself” having Serena say this about the way Dan’s look at her, says a lot about their relationship.

So Serena thinks Georgina knew the old her better than anyone.. mmm interesting.

As much as I like Rufus and think he really tried his best, and overall was a good Dad, he never had any idea of how to handle Jenny. Half the time he only makes it worst.

How nice it was for Nate to convince Vanessa to take the SAT.

Those batteries are not from that calculater, I think I actually had that calculator at one point in my life.

Even though i feel her relationship with Nate was doomed, is never easy to see your ex-moving on.

What’s going on with Chuck’s outfit? Yellow pants, purple sweater, multicolor shirt, it’s so bad and yet I don’t hate it.

For some reason, there’s something about the way Dan’s holding Serena’s face and the way he talks to her, that creeps me out for no good reason. 

So Georgina has something on Serena, and even Chuck’s curious. The good old days when everything was a mistery.

This is the point were Dan’s double identy gets really disturbing. Hi Sarah, meet Dan, we don’t know it yet but he’s as messed up as you.

So this episode, is not a fave in the general sense, because it’s basically just the introduction to Georgina’s character but on that front these is just setting up the stage for the big climax, and all the other subplots here are pretty meh, with Blair’s and Jenny’s battle from the throne in a very dull point. The real interesting part in this episode is that we get more insight into Serena.

it’s been established since the pilot that Serena has a wild passed, an so far her story centers about being this bad girl turned good girl. She has this change of heart because when she ran away after a particularly bad night, her absence is one of the reasons her little brother ends up atempting suicide, she’s also really guilty that her drunken antincs led her to betray her best friend and she doesn’t want to be that way, as much as the show likes to make it seem Serena changed her wild ways when she started dating Dan, that’s not the case. I think the biggest wake up call for her was what happened with Eric.

Dan is a positive influence, and he gives her the respect and positive attention that sadly was lacking in pretty much every interaction she had withe the opposite sex, as I mentioned in a previous recap Serena believes that thinks of her as real human being, he likes her for real reasons, not only because she’s hot or an “It girl”; she believes this because he meets her when she comes back and was not the same girl as before, so in a way he fell for the “good Serena” and so it’s one of the reasons she keeps up trying  her best. 

As we see this episode Dan falling in love with this version of Serena is a double edged sword, because it leaves little room for her to be anything else; he’s make it no secret that he detests her world, and he walked away in anger on their second date when he discovered something of her past he didn’t like, he’s constantly judging her almost all the time, sometimes in a lowkey way, but other’s he’s very straight forward about it. By this point in the series Serena feels really in love with him, and as she says to Georgina the way he feels about her makes her want to believe in herself, so she can’t lose Dan’s love, and she knows how’s he’s going to react if she tells him about her past with Georgina, and therefore she must lie to him. 

This makes me feel really bad for Serena for so many reasons, because how shitty things must have been in the past for her to believe this is the kind of love she deserves, sure it’s her first love and she’s sixteen and sees him in rose tinted glassses, but when one stops to think about is a relationship where she can’t be honest, like if lying is your best option to keep your relationship on good terms that’s a sign that’s something no good, and it’s not like the true would be something like “Hey Dan guess what, I’ve been doing this “bad” thing behind your back all the time we’ve been dating”, no she’s afraid of letting him know her past, something that’s not her anymore... imagine if people couldn’t change, or have a past that they wished were different.  It’s just wrong, but she can’t see it because his love is something she never had and it’s precious and she hasn’t experienced anything better.

There’s also a very interesting line in the middle of the episode related to this, she tells Georgina that no one knew her old self as Georgina did, and this interesting because Serena’s not only trying to hide Georgina from Dan, she’s also hiding her from Lily and Blair, because to Serena Georgina represents the worst side of her, and that’s something she can’t let them see, because I guess she’s really afraid they may changed her mind about her, or even worse love her. This is why I also feel she turns to Chuck in this episode, in part because I feel in her wild days they somewhat tend to hang out with the same type of crowd, I image they often found themselves in the same parties doing drugs and wild stuff,so he already knows more about her worst side, but mostly I feel she calls him because she doesn’t care about what Chuck thinks of her, she knows he cares somewhat, but she’s not as important to him, not in the way Serena and Blair care about each other, and so Serena deep inside of her fears that if they knew, really knew they would love her less. This is somewhat a paralell to the way Chuck’s sees himself, so having him helping her with this, only reinforces this for me. 

Georgina’s presence this episode beside the fact that’s she’s a really messed up person (like honestly how awful it is she evens drugs Serena this episode) and letting us know that she has something on Serena, what I really find interesting is that she brings to light that there’s a part of Serena that’s missing. She’s been stiffling some part of her personality, their first outing sure they’re drunk but for the most part is harmless, they’re just joking around and fooling clueless idiots dudes, Serena only gets mad when drugs are involved. Serena likes to party, to be a bit wild, to be free, and it’s something that’s been lacking, and instead of learning healthier ways to let this part of her shine, to figure out that one can party and be free as long as it doesn’t get’s out of control, she totally shuts down that part of her, and that’s why it takes Georgina so little effort to convince of spending some time together. Even if she doesn’t want to realize it, she misses it. 

Finally, I would like to say hi one more time to Nelly Yuki

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Season 1 Episode 6 “Rage, You Damn Nerd”

mysterylover123

Episode 6, with the best most hilarious title ever! Tells you exactly what you’re in for.

Finally, Bakugo’s reaction! I seriously was waiting through all three episodes for this. Like a Hitchcockian bomb under the table. Almost literally!

Bakugou .exe has stopped working.

Aizawa starts his pattern of lying to Class A to get them to do their best. He kinda stops doing this after a while, I’m guessing because it doesn’t take lying anymore, just let Wonder Duo go running off at the mouth and they’ll do the job just as well.

Momo’s first line! I think we’re introduced to her in a method meant to make her seem a bit smug and condescending, which is interesting - Momo has a similar trajectory to Bakugou in some ways, introduced as Hot Shit and embarrassment used to break that ego, so this is important to keep in mind.

Aizawa and All Might seemed like they were gonna have a rivalry in early drafts and that got dropped. Anyway, I’m noting the timeline here, as All Might drops the info that this is April 8 (April Fool’s day was Last Week).

The friendship trio forms! Yay! (BTW I ship Uraraka and Iida, if you didn’t know.) We get a quick sum up of life at UA (sob why can’t my school be more like this) and then transfer on to the start of the Battle Trial Arc. Here it goes!

Everyone’s in costume! I figured I’d use my fave Costumes for my ranker today, so I’ll comment on them below. (BTW I loved this arc a lot the first time around. I adored how perfect it feels as a simulated Heroes v Villains exercise.)

All the detailed info on designing costumes and enrolling quirks is another thing I enjoy about BNHA; it feels like such a well-realized world, probably the most fully realized one I’ve encountered in some ways. Horikoshi is so obsessive over details, I love it.

And it actually serves as a means to illustrate character. Since they designed the costumes themselves, everyone’s choices tell you a little something about who they are. I think that both Deku and Kacchan’s costumes are designed to look like All Might’s - both have pointy hoods like his spiky hair, both have metal gear around the neck, etc. They look alike, yet opposite.

Deku’s first costume is so doofy looking, though. And it’s kind of symbolic of his whole issue at this point: he wants too badly to be like All Might, so he covers up his own face with a mask that has this weird, distorted fascimile of All Might’s hair and smile. He really needs to up that confidence! 

This is followed by an adorable sequence of All Might trying to be a teacher and explaining the rules of the BTA. I totally empathize with All Might here; starting at a new job like this can’t be easy. (now I’m thinking about the “Even Idiots Can be Teachers” joke in Episode 52 and laughing)

I wish there was more to comment on with the BTA teams. A few of them feel important. Kaminari and Jirou, of course; one of my ships, they hang out a lot. Also , Ojiro/Tooru, and Tsuyu/Tokoyami get teamed up here (but not Momo and Shoto or Kiri/Mina, so I refuse to call it a shipping pattern). Ashido and Aoyama have a bit of a rivalry going on that starts here. Everyone else’s is pretty random.

And now the fated showdown of destiny! Well, the first time, anyway. I could watch these two fight all day. The whole series could just be them fighting each other back and forth and yelling while YSR plays and I’d be fine.

Bakugou is so salty about Deku! The first time around, of course, he just comes across as an asshole. Rewatching it though, it does seem fairly reasonable to be pissed off that Deku’s apparently been lying to him this whole time (because he doesn’t know about OFA, and Deku didn’t even both to lie to him like he did to his mom), and they are fighting in an organized combat mission, so his behavior here makes total sense in hindsight. Amazing how that character development works.

Uraraka is initially really blase about doing well. in hindsight, I think one of her flaws (at this stage, anyway) was that she basically didn’t know what she wanted and pretty much coasted on Deku (she says as much during the sports festival). She gets over that quickly, but flaws make good characters, so I wanted to point it out.

Incoming Deku “Kacchan Sugoi” moment #1. I love this little twist, too, on the way we perceive Deku. He doesn’t want revenge on Katsuki or something like that. He wants to beat him (”the incarnation of victory”). Deku is not some frail flower needing protection from the world. Don’t let his cuteness fool you.

Deku is so effing cool here, TBH - brilliant, tactical, strong, and brings his rival down to earth by judo-tossing him. Damn, the animation on Baku hitting the floor though, you can feel that impact. No wonder he was so pissed! (Deku’s strategic mind is one of my favorite things about him. Also the symbolism in Baku blasting away part of his All Might mask! 1/2 of the whole!)

“From now on, Deku is the name of my hero!” Once again that trio of foil-y ness between Deku, Kacchan and Uraraka. I wonder if it’s a relic of when the series was originally gonna be them as a trio, a la Naruto/Harry Potter/etc, so they were designed to all foil each other in some way? It’s not as much in the series proper, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Also, You Say Run! Down the bottle! (3rd episode in a row).

In sum, I love this episode. Costumes! All Might teaching! The Battle Trial Arc! Bakugou being crazy (I mostly gush over Deku a lot, but I love Kacchan too. Crater-sized faults and all). And of course, all of the...

BKDK Corner:

Cute flashbacks! Adorable flashbacks are adorable. Little Bakugou is so arrogant; if he was an adult he would be insufferable, but because he’s just a kid it’s cute.

Now to get into a little analysis! This ep marks the first time we actually delve into the depths of Bakugou’s psyche, and basically to sum it up: He’s scared of Deku because he deep down knows that Deku is better than him, fearing that Deku will surpass him, and doesn’t understand why. It’s amazing how the characters introduced at this part of the series as simple archetypes (relatable hero, bully, nice girl, uptight boy) become so complex as the series goes on. Not to be taken at face value.

Uraraka changing the meaning of Deku is another moment that parallels the Deku/Kacchan and Deku/Ochaco dynamics. Again, I’m not sure what that means in the long run, only that paralleling Izuku’s romance subplot with his main rivalry has interesting implications.  

“So, you know Bakugou? He’s kind of mean to you, right?” ‘“Yes but he’s also super amazing special awesome and cool and did I mention amazing? Let me present my eighty page thesis to you on why Kacchan is cool.” OK, exaggerating. But it is interesting how much Deku admires and looks up to Kacchan despite him being such a jerk, so seemingly the opposite of what Deku wants to be as a hero. Basic 2 sides/same coin stuff, of course. Kacchan has all the self-assurance, power and pride that Deku lacks (at least at this point).

Deku speaks fluent Kacchan and predicted exactly what he would do. He knows his S/O so well. 

“I took notes on all amazing heroes, including you” Subtle, Deku. Wanna make your crush a little more obvious? (also check out the BNHA smash comic of this, where he takes it up a notch and reveals what a full-blown stalker he actually is).

This is definitely their lowpoint of antagonism, though. This early part of the series, where they’re both mad at each other. I do think that Deku never really hated Bakugou, though; he hates things about him, but not him as a person. (Deku is way too forgiving.)  Bakugou hated him, but I think that’s fading away in the current timeline (so weird, the last time we saw these two in the manga they were chilling on a couch together and drinking tea. Such a crazy contrast with rewatching this!)

Best Girl of the Episode: Kyoka Jiro!

more info on her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7FVXWFFm4w&t=481s 

Ranker: Favorite Hero Costumes

5. Nejire Hado’s!

I’m not sure why, but she has one of my favorite costumes of the whole series. it looks so good on her, it’s simple and tells you who she is.

4. Izuku Midoriya’s (3.0)!

Deku’s third costume is amazing and looks cool. It’s sleek and powerful and badass, somehow taking that dopey baseline design and turning it awesome.

3. Camie Utsushimi’s!

It’s so simple yet so great. Bodysuit, white boots and that awesome Shiketsu hat. Yet it works. It looks cool, even with the boob window.

2. Katsuki Bakugo’s!

It’s so ridiculous and yet so perfect. Exactly what you’d expect Bakugo to design for his outfit. Keeping in character and suitably dark.

1. Ochaco Uraraka’s!

My favorite in the whole bunch. It looks so much like a space heroine super suit - I especially like it with the helmet. It’s all there for her quirk, too - there’s an explanation behind each piece of gear. (BTW, Bakugou and Uraraka had the same designer. They really lucked out!)

[iamdeltas]

cauldronofmorning replied to your post “cauldronofmorning replied to your post “me, yesterday: I really hate...”

I don't get it either! I enjoyed Witchfinders too, and thumbs up too on your point that 12 is seen as a "socialist king". Like I love him too and s10 definitely went hard, but his stans use that to attack 13 but ffs as soon as she tries anything a million boys cry "SJW", can you imagine the rage if she punched a racist? they whined about 12 too

I am very here for 12 going hard and attacking capitalism and shit (”Oxygen” was a great episode) and honestly I like 12 a lot but oh my god is it so hard liking 12 and 13 at the same time when it feels like so many of 12′s stans use 12 to bash the fuck out of 13! Like, the way my mind works is that if enough fans of a character piss me off, I start hating the character too, and I do not want to start hating 12 because of some of his fans using him to bash 13! (This happened for me with Lena Luthor from Supergirl, Rainbow Dash from MLP:FIM, and... actually, even Ford and Dipper Pines a little bit from Gravity Falls? In the case of Ford and Dipper, this was because I saw so many of Ford’s and Dipper’s fans bashing the fuck out of Mabel. Incidentally, this is why I generally avoid the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fandom, particularly the Catra fans. I like Catra. But I get the feeling that if I saw too much of what Catra fans say, especially about Adora, I’d probably end up hating Catra too.) 

Interestingly enough, I was looking at the tropes page for “Oxygen” the other day, and apparently the writer for that episode regrets making it so heavy-handed with the anti-capitalism stuff? (My immediate reaction: well, 12′s Tumblr stans loved it so don’t feel too bad, dude.)

Though I’ll be real, I would be very here for episodes with 13 being Super Political a la 12′s s10 episodes lmao. Not to appease the 12 stans who keep bashing 13 for not being as much of a “socialist king” as her predecessor (honestly, I’m pretty convinced that even if s13 shows 13 to be the Most Pro-Socialist, Rising Up To Defend The Proletariat, whatever, they’ll still point to Kerblam! to declare that 13 is the Most Status Quo Pro-Socialist Neoliberal Doctor ever because they just seem like the sort of people who continue to enjoy engaging in bad faith criticism), but mostly because well. The nerdboys who get mad at 13 for doing anything and for, y’know, existing are gonna be mad no matter what, so why not go all the way and really piss them off, you know? Go full socialist, SJW propaganda with this shit. What are they gonna do? Get more mad? They’re already angry! Who cares? That could just be me wanting to piss off the stupid angry nerdboys even more though haha.

Anyway. Tumblr stop calling my faves neoliberals challenge.

[courtingcourtiers]

i never posted any of my f/o february stuff over here so i’m posting some of my faves so here’s the first for day 5, my favorite au. maestro is used instead of jazz bc fae rules are to never give out your name even if you are a fae!

“What’s a lil’ bot like you doing so far out here?” a voice asks from behind them—Maestro.

Wizard ignores him. They diligently pick crystals from where they grow under the metal outcropping. Just as they place another into their basket, they feel a tug on their cloak, pulling them back.

They land on their back. Luck would have their doorwings spread enough so that there was no actual damage. For that, Wizard is thankful despite how Maestro’s snarling face stares down at them.

“I don’t like being ignored, little bot,” Maestro hisses.

Wizard doesn’t say anything for a moment. It’s long enough for Maestro to grow more irritated. They can see it in his face.

“I don’t much like being bothered either, but here we are,” Wizard says. They don’t bother to pick themselves off the ground, gaze moving to the stars spread across the sky. “If I broke something, I’m blaming you.”

“Doubt you’re hurt,” Maestro says, still sounding annoyed in spite of the slow conversation.

“You don’t know that,” Wizard replies. It sounds more like a whine that anything else.

They finally turn their helm to face him. Maestro had apparently moved to sit beside them. His arms are crossed to express his annoyance, but Wizard knows it’s mostly for show.

“Do so.” Maestro himself sounds petulant, like he’s willing to fight Wizard on the point.

“And here I thought you were mad at me,” Wizard laughs.

Wizard sometimes hates their doorwings. They can’t roll themselves onto their stomach like they want to. Wizard has to physically push themselves into a sitting up position. By then, they decide that moving onto their front would look stupid, so they pull themselves to their pedes.

“Leaving already?” Maestro asks, all annoyance left behind for a cool veil of amusement.

“Some of us have lives,” Wizard says.

“I’ve got a life.” Maestro stands, wiping his servos together in meaningless gesture. There was no dirt in this place. “Just so happens that I put aside time for you.”

Wizard shoots him a disbelieving look, “Well, can you stop?”

Something in Maestro’s expression changes. His amusement slips away to reveal his irritation once more. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be fae chow.”

“Oh?” Wizard stops to consider it. They think they might be able to parse what Maestro means, but they would rather he tell them. Just so they don’t get it wrong. “Do tell me why.”

“It’s going to cost you.”

And Wizard—they’ve never been stupid enough to make a deal with Maestro, in spite of everything. Maestro has said a lot of things in their presence, but this piques their curiosity. They wonder how they’re supposed to say no. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe they’re not supposed to. Maybe they’re falling right into Maestro’s servos.

“I might be willing to pay up,” Wizard returns, trying to seem casual.

Maestro’s visor seems to brighten. It glints in the low light of the night. “Your name.”

Maestro’s voice is smooth, cutting through the air like a sword through an energon cube. There’s no resistance and nothing stopping it. It makes Wizard stop cold.

“My name?” Wizard asks. “Isn’t that a bit unfair?”

Maestro shrugs, “It’s my price.”

Wizard takes a careful moment to consider and curiosity has always been their weakness. So has their loud mouth and speaking without thinking. They’ve never even thought of giving this fae their name though. Part of them wonders why he’d want to possess it.

“Maybe I’ll give it to you if you promise me something,” Wizard offers after only a second of consideration.

“What would that be?” Maestro acquiesces just a bit. He gives Wizard the illusion of an even playing ground, offers them equality where there truly is none.

“Don’t use it against me?” Wizard almost pleads. They know better than to ask for his true name. They’d tried when they’d met each other, only to be threatened and hissed at.

Maestro takes a moment of false consideration. Then he shakes his helm, “Can’t promise you that. You bots are finicky things. Always making threats and fighting. Best have some insurance.”

And Wizard knows their decision because they trust this fae even if they shouldn’t. They know it will bite them back later.

“My name’s Wizard,” they tell him.

Maestro looks taken aback. He clearly didn’t expect anything from them due to his noncompliance. He’s only fazed for a couple of kliks before a wide grin spreads across his face. He looks cruel like that. Wizard’s spark twinges with regret, but they cannot take it back.

“Oh, Wizard,” he purrs their name like it’s something he owns. Perhaps it is. “You’re so fragging stupid.”

“I never said I was smart,” Wizard says.

Maestro laughs. It’s a harsh sound. It echoes throughout the clearing they stand in. “No, you didn’t. Funny, my info’s not even worth that much. There’s just a lot of fae in this place.”

“I can’t say I didn’t know that,” Wizard says helplessly. “But I’ve paid my price and I can’t exactly take it back."

“You can’t.” Maestro seems delighted by that fact. “Now, my good bot, let’s go to that shop of yours and I’ll hash out exactly what’s going to happen here.”

[fayn3ko]

My interpretations on the new Rammstein album

Alrighty, I think such ‘here’s my opinion how much I liked this and not’ are boring so I’m just gonna write what I think of and read out of the songs. I let out Deutschland and Radio cuz y’all know about them, I guess. Idk even if anybody is interested in this but here we go

Weit weg (far away) - one of my faves

On the first sight it seems to be kind of a love song because till sings about two people - a man watching a women undress and seeing her naked. Actually, it’s about Voyeurism. He is standing at her window, presses his face against the glass, there’s no interactions between them and she is the 'queen of his fantasies’. 'Ganz nah - weit, weit weg von mir’ (really close - far, far away from me) - he is incredible close to her and sees intimate moments, but he isn’t supposed to, they probably don’t even know each other. So, actually, emotionally they are far away from each other.

Diamant (diamond) - only sad song, big fave

Kind of a love song, Till is mostly singing about how beautiful the other person is, how bright her eyes shine, “how clear and pure” she is. It already sounds like as if he were in mad love with her, but he also wants her to finally 'let him go’, he wants to leave tho she is so marvelous 'like a diamond, but also just a stone’. He tried to reach her heart but wants to 'love someone who is able to hate’ - is she too perfect? Are they even together, or is it just him who struggles to let his love for her go? Maybe she doesn’t feel anything, doesn’t have anything except her beauty and is cold-hearted, diamonds “are just stones”.

Zeig dich (show yourself) - a fave, its really nice

Obviously a song about the church, unlike Hallelujah (which is about the child abuse of priests) this one is about the church in general. Most of the text are enumerations,“[they] do crime … forgiveness of all crimes, burn, … tracking, … accidentally abuse children” (Irony, damn that’s fore sure provocating) always ending with 'in the name of god’ which describes the long history, mostly the negative aspects and how the church allowed themself to do anything if they say they do it in gods will - a lot of people believed that. The dramatic choir underlines how much power the church had and how often it abused its power. 'Show yourself … we lose the light’ - religion gives humans hope and something to believe in, exploited by the church, but all these things are hidden behind a mask.

Puppe (doll (sometimes also puppet, toy)) - probs most interesting one

The protagonist is a child, who got a doll as a gif from his sister (he calls her 'Schwesterlein’ so he is probably way younger?). Her workplace is in the room next to his, he sees men coming there, 'sometimes it’s even two [men]’ - she is a prostitute. While she works, he is looking at the sky, taking his medicaments [like a good boy] - so he must be sick in some way. Since he 'rips off the head of the doll, bites off the neck of the doll’ and sings 'I really don’t feel good’ it’s probably something mental. Later, he watches through the keyhole how his sister gets beaten to death, he continues ripping of the head and biting off the neck but now 'he feels finally good’. No parents are mentioned, so the sister seems to be the only relative, probably being responsible for him and buying him the medicaments (one of the only details we get so they have to me important in some way). Maybe he didn’t like her and he imagined the doll is her? Being unhappy because she is still alive and after she got killed, finally being happy? Maybe, he is happy that he won’t need to take medicaments anymore, he looked the whole day outta the window and seemed to do nothing, bc the meds blocked him)

Was ich liebe (literally 'what I love’, in this context, “the things I love”) great song

Fans who heard through some demos should know this one because it’s the demo of Pussy. They used the very different lyrics and refreshed them (changed the 'will die’ to 'will verderben’) , making them into a song about a person which doesn’t want to be happy, doesn’t want to enjoy and doesn’t want to love. A lover of him will 'verderben’ - it’s a prediction, he doesn’t even think it just 'could’ happen, it will happen. He will be unlucky at some point and suffer, 'in luck is also ubglück’, he fears to be hurt so much that his lover 'must’ verderben. Though, he still talks about a lover, so next to this fear, he still does and wants to be happy, enjoy and to love.

Tattoo (tattoo) - I like the music and singing but the topic is boring to me

Pretty simply, it’s about tattoos. He compares paper with his skin and describes noticeably often the pain “when the pain hugs the flesh…” you feel while getting one and how much he likes them on his skin. ‘Show me yours [and[ I’ll show you mine’ it sounds more like a demand as if it were something intimate. Also, after gettin the name of the lover tattooed - in case that the partner would end the relationship - he would prefer to find another partner with the same name instead of erasing the tattoo. He’s just crazy for tattoos.

Hallomann (is norwegian and a word for moderator or similiar) - pretty good?

It sounds kinda as if he would like to spend his time with a little girl. He’s telling a her to “just get in” and to “dance for him” but he doesn’t want her to speak. They go together to the sea, he buys stuff for her. ‘You are alone’ - the girl is alone, maybe she was walking around alone? - and he is ‘all alone’, this sounds more like on an emotional base, being lonely. Not sure of in a romantic or a platonic way. After the dancing  would come the Hallomann to her - I really don’t see the connection. Later they sunbath, do something with skin and sand. She has to ‘give her word’, take his hand and afterwards it won’t be the same. ‘Perl on the ring’ - a wedding ring? I’m not even sure if the person himself is an adult or maybe just a boy. In the end he says ‘don’t ask for the meaning’, maybe he just wanted to spent a nice day with her. It got some pedophile vibes at the first sight but nothing really indicates it. Maybe I just don’t see the methaphors lol okay everybody says it's about a pedophile and I guess;; he used phrases pedophiles often use

Ausländer (foreigner) - sounds like Schlager Urgh [german trigger] but good

Simply just a Gigolo jumping from one bed to another and fucking his way through the whole world. He doesn’t even “stay over night, just for 1 or 2 hours.” Anyways, it’s practical to speak many languages so he can talk with the foreign women. In that way he tells us that he’s good in these and speaks a lot, but the last sentence means something like ‘you coming with [me], I’m you doing goodd’ which is pretty bad in grammar but it’s enough to let her know what he wants.

Sex (sex) - love the melody and riffs, really good one

Uhm also pretty much just about sex? Sex without feelings tho. He ‘gets sick when he looks at you’ - it’s really just about the act - ‘mine is yours and that in you’. This is underlined by ‘better slovenly than again not’, he probably put the ‘again’ before the ‘not’ to let it stand out, again, so they already did it at least a couple of times, or better said, didn’t do it. Maybe they are in a relationship? But he can’t look at her anymore, he just wants her body for sex - and only the important parts. The contrast to that is the refrain, ‘We live only once, we love the life, we love the love, we love sex.’ The last sentence is ‘We live because … sex.’ So, he sings often they love the life and in the end it’s they only live for sex =  they love just the sex.