#I need 5 hours to recover from this
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#NOT THE POV CAM NOW#💀💀💀#I need 5 hours to recover from this#playboyy the series#ep14#jump x porsche
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YES YES ABSOLUTELY YES OH MY GOD YESSSSSS!!! I WILL JUMP OUT OF THIS MOVING BUS YESSSSS!!!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
#I will need at least 5 hours to recover from this#I honestly wasn't expecting to get a kiss at all this entire book and I was ok with living my life like that#BUT THEY FUCKING KISSED#assistant to the villain#attv#evie sage#trystan maverine#romance books#book rec#book recommendations#bookblr
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maybe my mental health is tanking because I haven't had time to go out and meet friends or sit down to draw or sew or knit in several weeks 🤔
#it's get up for work. work for 8 hours. get home. eat something. fall asleep. wake up in the middle of the night#try to sleep a bit more. wake up in time for work. rinse and repeat#and the days i have off? need 1 day to recover. then i gotta run errands for my parents or clean up around the house#or do laundry all day#then it's grocery shopping with my mother for up to 4 hours another day#and then it's back to work for another 5 days#rinse and repeat rinse and repeat#tbh i don't feel real at all. not even in a i am a creature real kind of way#i just. float from work to bed and back to work and back to bed
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Trying to get ahead of an unsustainability cycle that might be starting up this week,,, (I start work).
#this turned into a bit of a rant whoops#mypost#have been chilling recovering from breast reduction the last month#steadily helping my mom out around the house more and more#but neow imma be working a ~35hr week (not including commute times during rush hour rip)#starting tmr#and I’m remembering that 1) it takes me more time to shower bc I have to be careful with boobz. also I have to wash my bra every night bc da#scars can’t get infected. so the whole process of showering is connected to also washing and drying my bra and putting on lotions n such so#it takes an hour minimum#2) doing stuff for my mom… is always spontaneous and urgent and takes up more time/energy than I think#3) my mom is bad at food stuff on a personal level and that’s transferring to the household bc a lot of stuff including a) she’s hella busy#and stressed. b) the price of food 💀keeps goin up ayoo. c) she is restricting herself to only eating twice a day??? idk why????#d) she also considers a meal to be anything she throws together no matter how unbalanced/nontasty it is#e) I’m also so bad at cooking/meal prep/etc but lowkey have a Thing abt food rn and cannot eat random junk even if I’m v hungry#. all this to say: idk how to do my household duties (communicating with mom. nightly dishes. small stuff that builds) when I have a feeling#imma be hella hungry this whole week.#WAIT I FORGOT THO IMMA BE MAKING MONEYYYY 💰 💴 💵 so I can pay for lunch at work ayooo#((not thinking abt budgeting atm lol 😬. I’m fortunate enough to have a 529 plan for college so semester times are all g)#4) I’m also doing two coursera courses atm (personal finance for young adults and Good With Words) …. I will prob not be able to get much#done in these courses when I have a full week rip#5) I gotta prepare for abroad (applying for visa. dealing with large government structures 😭😭😭) and in general attend to my emails#all dis. hmm#oh and also personal upkeep: gotta order eczema lotion. gotta get in contact with doctors abt leg and jaw PT. gotta follow thru with PT.#falling behind on a productive schedule while balancing my moms needs and my needs and my long-term health/personal project stuff is gonna#be difficult…#hm#writing this out is. hm.#all g all g I am a young adult I gotta handle this stuff now 🧑#great freedom = great responsibility and all that shiz#FUCK I FORGOT I HAVE TO EXERCISE TOO FUCK!!!! DANG NABBIT
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I am actually in tears. Ollie Lewis hug broke me
Charles is on the podium where he belongs
#no one talk to me I need 5 business days to recover from this (I will be back to posting in like 5 hours though)#I'm seriously crying Ollie did so well#he is Tifosi child now
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Bro I need the rheumatologist the doctor I’m seeing allegedly referred to me immediately. If I have to go on living like this I might actually kms lol
#going to stand at work for eight hours while my legs feel like they’re on fire 👍#fully aware I’ll spend my day off tomorrow laying in bed and suffering instead of enjoying my 20s like I should be 👍#love my life :)#genuinely. how do I go about living my life like this#I just spent the last 5 years working toward a degree I can’t even use bc my body can’t physically handle field work#like I rly did try with field work this summer. but I spent all of august suffering and pretending I wasn’t <33#but now I’m completely unemployable outside of custome service bc I have a useless degree#for anything but archaeology/anthro#and I also don’t do anything outside of work bc I physically can’t handle it. like I need to spend my time off of work recovering from work#I have no life and I rly don’t know if I have a future lol#but whatever#it is what it is ig#op
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@loveyouhomex tagged me, thank you ♥
What colour are your eyes? blue
What instantly tells you if a person is good? this is probably way too deep, but when i started typing out "there's no way to spot that immediately" and thought about an explanation, like, there's stuff hidden away........... no, it's even more than that. nobody's really good, everyone has their bad parts. you just need to find out if you can deal with these parts - for example, i noticed this because often, i can't stand ''''''nice''''' people because they can be really pretentious.
Do you have a recurring dream? not really
What is the most interesting class you have taken? i started a course on molecular cooking once, it was really neat until they started to talk about chemistry which i know nothing about
How often do you find yourself day dreaming? all the time, basically
Name/Nickname: schnaf
Zodiac: libra
Height: 160cm
Nationality: german
Favourite colour: dark blue
Favourite season: spring
Favourite animals: monkeys. i love smort animals with hands. (UGH also i had two on my lap recently ♥ they were just hanging out and i crouched down to get a better look at them and suddenly the bigger one jumped on my lap and the smaller one didn't want to miss out ♥)
Favourite fictional characters: wen kexing. he's sassy, he's fun and then he isn't anymore. good for him and stuff ♥
Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?: tea, sometimes hot chocolate as a treat
Average hours of sleep?: 6
Cat or dog person: i am very openminded ♥
Number of blankets slept with: one
Places ancestors are from: Germany and Czech Republic - i'm just doing a copy and paste here askdjlfhaksjdf
Dream trip: i'm currently planning trips to the maldives and iceland which is pretty neat ♥ i also really want to go to some remote places in the north (yes i looked up vacation on spitzbergen). also, the easter island is one of my childhood dreams ♥
Blog established: october 2011
Random fact about yourself: i got sick right before my last vacation and it was pretty windy there and people were wearing winter coats and stuff........... while i undressed and jumped into the ocean. i wonder why i'm still sick
Three ships: jun han x jungsu, ode x gaon, yizhan
Last song: a post-rock compilation
Last movie: it's STILL cherry magic the movie. i'd ask for movie recommendations but sadly i'm not in the mood for watching movies
Currently reading: once again, it's my fic series i'm planning to post
Currently watching: i finished my skam rewatch a few days ago, since then i'm on a break................ not in a watching mood lately
Currently craving: i'm planning a trip to munich only to visit a bunch of restaurants and i want to go NOW
i'm tagging @xjungsu, @vodeaare, @halamadrid-miasanmia, @blueside-hobi, @strangerinaholyplace, @jcamilov06, @stardatewow and @sevensforasecret ♥
#edit: i did go to munich last weekend because football and i tried a bunch of restaurants#it was super exhausting and my knee hurt for several days#but it was really nice#went to a cat cafe. which isn't as spectacular as i thought but hey! i did it!#found a mexican place which is really good#accidentally went to the wrong korean restaurant - i wanted to visit one i've already been to but ended up at a new one#they were FAST (in augsburg i waited like 2h once so now i'm wary) and the food was good#but then the owner threw us out bcs more people were coming#won't come back thx :)))))#and then we went to a chinese place and there were a lot of chinese guests which is quite a good sign#and they had handmade noodles and were really friendly and the food was pretty good and the price too#and then i noticed if we didn't leave within like 5 minutes we'd miss our train home and had to wait for another hour#but the cute waiter struck up a conversation bcs he saw our fca stuff :)))))) which was sweet but boi i need to catch my train#there were so many people talking to us bcs of our fca stuff oh boi social interactions maxxxxed out and stuff#i want to do another food trip but not too soon. i need to recover from this trip
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society if the four day work week was considered full time <3
#i have no time or energy for anything#whats the point of working to make money if i can only live my life on the weekend#i would rather make less working part time but i need to be full time for the shitty healthcare ibwont get until november <3#im gonna kms#all my time not working is spent recovering from working#el oh el#i know im ungrateful for complaining bc at least im not unemployed but ughhhh employment is the worst#three day work week should be considered full time#or five days but only 6 hours instead of 8 idk#time for life tho and ability to recover fromnworking between shifts idk#like im working a pretty physically demanding job rn but even if i managed to get an easy desk job i would have literally no time for life#on this schedule#and i currently have a 5 min commute#ugh#i know this is a first world problem but :/#this has been a shitpost
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genuinely tho me jumping right into reading volume 9 of trimax and then volume 10 (and then most of the rest of the manga) on the night before i had a presentation at 9:30 am (that was entirely not prepared) was literally one of the most unhinged decisions ive ever made
this is what a hyperfixation does to a person
#speculation nation#like that experience was transcendent. i will NEVER be repeating it again but it sure was something#crying 5 times in a night chugging my monster perusing the wolfwood tag tearfully as i listen to the same sad song on repeat for an hour#struggling to get myself to work on the presentation but continuously going back to the manga bc it was SOOO GOOOD#me being like 'im gonna need a few days to process and heal' after reading volume 10 but then after an hour just. starting reading more.#gettign only 2 hours of sleep bc i was like 'ok i need to recover from crying Five Times and then i will focus entirely on this'#literally what is wrong with me lmfao. this sure was something.#this was literally just last week. i can hardly believe it.#this happened on tuesday/wednesday. i spent wednesday recovering. then on thursday i was like 'ok time to write'#there was hardly ANY wait time before i jumped into my next writing project#bc i had the idea after volume 10 but waited until i finished the manga to see where would be the best time to implement it#& that shit with the plants was the PERFECT time. i knew as soon as it happened that That was what i was gonna use.#wrote chapter 1 within a day (while working) then chapter 2 within a day (while working)#then chapter 3 within 2 days (while working AND doing family stuff)#guys i havent had a proper day off of work in over a week bc i covered on tuesday and came in on wednesday and covered on sunday#uhm. sunday before yesterday. i think my last day off was actually uh. the thursday before? a week and a half ago.#and im not getting a day off until thursday. two whole goddamned weeks. i am having a fucking time for sure.#and what do you know that coincides with The Time. oh i dont think it was even thursday. when the fuck was my last day off#uhmmm. oh haha it was that tuesday. aka the 18th. i havent had a goddamned day off since the 18th.#head in my hands. i am losing my fucking mind.#literally unhinged. and it makes sooo much sense now lmfao.
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🤦🏽♀️
#why oh WHY did I agree to this#I have to get up at 6 AM to do a church choir ……. that I don’t really wanna do#don’t get me wrong I LOVE being in a choir and I miss it so much#but the only reason why I agreed to do it cause I thought I was going to do it with my dad#but since his surgery didn’t go the best (he’s better but still recovering) he’s going to sit this one out#and now I’m stuck doing it#I just need to remind myself — it’s only one morning and after I can come home and sleeeeeeeep#also to my snap babes I’m sorry I’ve been away for a little bit - but I promise I’ll be around to talk soon!#from being sick to everything going on with my dad to fucking moving…. I haven’t had the energy to do literally ANYTHING#but I’m finally feeling better / my dad is starting to recover (thank God) so I’m starting to get in a better headspace#anywayyyy I need to go to bed since I get to get up in like 5 hours 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#but if you haven’t seen it already - check out my Etsy shop pretty pls 🥺💖#good night lovelies 💖#shut up rosie
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art will be late today because i drew something so awful i started crying 😭😭
tw bad just generally awful
look at this art before i send it to the void forever
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feeling The Dread and The Sadness today. SAD
#fucked up and evil#i think i’m really just anxious about having to visit my family in 2 weeks. i really hate leaving my House and also. i think it’s exhausting#so much Social Performance in one week. and i’m not very social to begin with. i feel like i need to recover after hanging out with people#for like 3-5 hours lol#ALSO#the manufacturers that nearly all the pharmacies around here order from just DONT have my kind of testosterone#i have missed my shot for 2 weeks now and tomorrow will be week 3 of missing it and i think it’s really messing me up emotionally#i have to call my doctor again tomorrow to get them to send it to another pharmacy to see if those guys have it bc apparently the fred#meyer around here orders from a different manufacturer#shout out to my regular rite aid pharmacist who said i was a Good Customer and wanted to keep me there but understood why i was looking at#other places to get it. he told me what pharmacy to check. thank you king 🙏🙏🙏#so hopefully they have it in stock. i feel so upset i’ve nearly missed 3 weeks of shots now. i’m scared i will get a period again
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The way I automatically go nocturnal the moment I'm left to my own devices suggests it just my body's way of doing things so I'm hesitant to call it sleep reversal however having said that sleep reversal is really kicking my arse
#i went to have my morning nap (an unfortunate consequence of the first sleep reversal i never quite recovered from) and i slept for like#4-5 hours 💀#my morning lecture was cancelled so i went to sleep at like 10:30 and woke up at 15:00 and went oh shit i have a seminar at 16:00#it probably doesn't help that i have a lot of evening stuff so I'm eating quite late as well#but like on a Monday i have a lecture 4-6 and then german class 6:30-8:30#so i don't eat until half 9 really#on sunday as well i have synchro at 5 (so i need go leave at 4:30 at the latest) and then folk soc til half 9-10 so i don't get back till#late so it's either eat really late or eat really early#friday as well there's the disability craft club though admittedly i should eat before that probably
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Barbenheimer was a solid 8/10
#i will not be taking questions at this time#i need to recover from 5 hours in a cinema chair#(they're not very comfortable)#clover talks
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i have so many complex emotions at the moment but they are being cancelled out by the fact that i don’t take care of myself
#my body needs time to recover from the adrenaline rush i just put myself through#and my adderall is starting to wear off#and also i got like 5 hours of sleep and haven’t eaten actual food today. so#accidentally preventing a mental breakdown by forgetting to pack lunch
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currently sacrificing grades, group projects and friendships in the name of sleep and mental health🥲
#i may finally be recovering from my group project burn out#like i had a decent day with regards to productivity#but to keep that going i have to keep sleeping more than 5 hours every night#so apologies to my beloved group project (the new one with great people) but i need to fix me first#i just have to hope these lovely people stick with me until i am at 100% battery again#otherwise this is turning into a very bad inescapable spiral
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