#I needed to get my anger out
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coloring experiments with some displeased españas 🍅 i always love digging beneath his optimism to find the negativity underneath thats Just as passionate -- its one of the most fascinating things about him to me
closeups under the cut
#hetalia world stars#hws spain#aph spain#i simultaneously Am him and need him carnally. and im not sure which ones more embarrassing#his anger and my anger are.... upsettingly similar and ive been very Angry with my job recently. so. ofc ive been thinking about him#country of passion in all emotions. and the sun isnt just warm and bright. it Burns.#anyway this is Kind of a little bit of a vent piece maybe idk#my art#'i need to rest my hand' i say and then i get so furious at work these all come out of my brain#i have never been so close to starting a physical fight with my coworkers lmaoooo.
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Still laughing about how they didn't want to "invalidate" anyone's worldstate. But that is exactly what they did.
Morrigan is the most obvious, I really cannot believe that a Morrigan who was a mother would have so willingly taken into her something like Mythal if she was a mother - of at this point - a 10 year old Kieran. Maybe she would, but it would be for different reasons.
Isabela is the most annoying to me. She's talking about how "Kirkwall taught her about family." as if she couldn't have been given up by Hawke to the Arishok. As if she couldn't have ran away from Kirkwall and never looked back. If I had met an Isabela from a world state like that, she would never have said that.
Harding talking about the Inquisition also feels like it misses some... extra flavour here and there based on actual choices. Like my Inquisitor didn't do well with Blackwall, and he didn't survive to see the end of the game. But Lace speaks about him fondly and in such a way that I don't think she should if the Inquisitor never 'redeemed' him.
Zevran is never mentioned by name, but what if a warden outright killed the assassin hunting them. Or he turned on them in Denerim and died later? Then explain to me that entire banter Lucanis has with Harding about why House Arainai messed up so bad they went trough several Talons about it. And now the Crows don't take contracts in Ferelden anymore.
At that point the reason that was given to us for the lack of worldbuild choices to prevent 'invalidating everyone's worldstate' feels null and void. Because you have. You have invalidated many worldstates already by bringing back these character or have people talk around them in such a way that doesn't make sense.
#dragon age#bioware critical#veilguard critical#datv#datv spoilers#sorry i got the isabela line again today and it made my anger resurface#its my main complaint mostly because of how the devs tried to placate us and how it ended up turning out#and it felt like they fucking lied to our faces about it because of it.#i can generally even deal with it because it's not even /that/ much.#and i like the game so much outside of this so i can bite my tongue for the most part#i just needed to get some of the anger out ig.#might delete this post later we'll see. i just wanted to vent for a bit.
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prohibitedwish enemies to lovers but prismo is into scarab in the enemies part just as much as in the lovers part
refs
btw i never watched the original souce material of any of these so dont read too deep into it, i just found them outta context on pinterest and thought "damn thats them" and passed out and woke up with this




#prohibitedwish#prismo#prismo the wishmaster#scarab#scarab the god auditor#fionna and cake#adventure time: fionna & cake#fanart#arkos draws#prismo's taste in men did a 180 after jake#god he's such a bottom#he thinks scarab's anger is the hottest thing ever#rip him fr#what a freak (lovingly)#they deserve each other#ok im done i just needed to get these out of my system#me trying to draw something thats been on my mind for literal months: hmmm maybe tomorrow#also me immediatedly after: [drops everything im doing to badly draw these]#i dont control the hyperfixation#yeah the one thats been on my mind for months is the cowboy one#yall are gonna know what im talking abt#hopefully soon
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Grief explains the actions but it doesn’t justify them.
#if he just looked in the mirror and reflected and apologised and works on himself#if he goes to therapy to work on coping mechanisms that don’t revert emotions to anger#then it would be good and improvement and understandable#if he works on himself and asks for forgiveness#but if you brush past it and romanticise the behaviour that’s not ok#he is grieving and we all grieve different#but he shouldn’t take it out on Buck#who has been supportive#anytime he shows any emotion#he gets shut down#he deserves better than that#Eddie’s actions are problematic#and that doesn’t mean he is an awful person#it means he needs to learn and improve on his behaviour and coping mechanisms#and until he does#his behaviour can not be excused#or minimised#especially when it is a pattern#so please understand when I say he is not the worst human or anything like that#he is flawed and struggling#but that does not excuse poor behaviour when it is not rectified#thanks for coming to my ted talk#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 critical#911 discourse#911 negative
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powerful mental image of lucanis expounding passionately about any given one of his limited but extremely deep areas of interest (the wyvern/knives/coffee/cooking/murder continuum of lucanis dellamorte special interests if you will) while rye lounges around and Beholds him with palpable twink boutta pounce energy
#having lucanis really go off about something no matter what it is is a rare and precious gift for rye specifically. free aphrodisiac#honestly rye's version of that might initially be subtle enough that only davrin would notice it (and suffer accordingly) lol#'could you guys do that while I'm not here. I'm starting to feel sick' '*perfectly innocent rye voice* do what davrin? I'm not even#doing anything :}' 'yeah you're doing nothing with a lot of subtext rook there are whole chains of footnotes here I'd rather not know'#very funny idea of rye leaving the top button of his shirt open (which means about one centimeter of throat exposed. to be clear)#to go to dinner b/c that is enough to make lucanis completely lose his train of thought every time he glances over#and davrin with half his glorious booba out at all times shaking his head at rye across the table like 'you harlot (affectionate)'#(may I remind us all that his first crush was viago de riva. I remind myself of this at least twice a week b/c it's one of my few sources#of joy and delight these days. rye only gets as mean as viago under very rare and specific cirumstances but I think that#might be lucanis' equivalent aphrodisiac material lol. whenever rook gets tried to the point of showing his hand that not only#IS he actually very clever he also has the capacity to be a *bitch* when provoked lucanis finds his trousers suddenly a little tight.#man something here about both of them struggling with holding on to their anger yet actually finding it appealing in the other person#that's actually kind of moving as well as hilarious haha. rye losing his cool and being like 'oh fuck my cover is blown yet again#now everyone will know I am an asshole actually' and meanwhile lucanis is like 'I need to kiss him under the pale moonlight' <3#something something nothing is more beautiful to me than the fullness of your nature getting to witness the full spectrum of your being#'*davrin facepalming just out of frame as they gaze upon each other like this* literally what did I just SAY!!! assan avert your eyes#this is grownup stuff. weird-ass grownup stuff I don't fully get and yet I suppose it takes all kinds etc. but still grownup stuff')#davrin being the baffled witness to the intricate yet extremely low-key mating dance of two introverts is something that can be so personal#he clocked them from the moment they showed up to recruit him (which to be clear is before either of these two dumbasses realized anything)#and now he has to live with it <3 sorry davrin I love you davrin#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#from my tag rants etc.#rook x lucanis#rookanis#holding on to my sanity and will to live by a shred but with how coherent and sane this is I'm sure it's not even noticeable
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sort of a scribble note of a post but thinking about daniel molloy and potential madness again…the issue with mayfair witches is it handed me a talamasca agent that does memory alterations. cip, another talamasca character that can see memories when touching anything, says those memories are gone forever. there is no coming back; it’s literal static to him now. this keeps leading me down the road that if daniel molloy is actually missing memories? a likely culprit is albrecht. now here’s the thing: vampirism is confirmed to be a cure for some ailments, like parkinson’s (bummer but oh well). if daniel did get wiped down by albrecht, would his vampirism attempt to treat memory loss as a wound? something to be healed? so back to daniel molloy’s potential madness arc - if your mind starts stitching your memories back up, could it drive you mad? could daniel get so lost in the present, building his past, that he goes mad?
#normally i’d hide this in my drafts but i think about it so often#daniel leaves that apartment aware of vampires and its logical to assume he went down to nola for lestat#it doesn’t even need to involve armand and/or louis#the talamasca will wipe those who simply know too much so#i just idk i don’t see armand wiping daniel’s memories#if any memories have even been wiped#well ok i could see him wiping out of anger because dm near the end is so toxic that daniel constantly runs away#i could see the talamasca getting involved in the interim#idk armand doesn’t give off loving ex vibes towards daniel. he’s pretty annoyed with him#interview with the vampire#daniel molloy
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When you hear more news about people sexually harassing the actors (The Outsiders Musical)

#the outsiders musical cast#the outsiders musical#I swear all the PSAs are not reaching the creeps#it makes me wanna crash out and cry and all of the above#it’s getting to the point people need to get banned from the sad#or somethin#melody rose i am so sorry and I haven’t even done nothin#just all that poor woman had to deal with#and JASON???!!!#it’s a miracle they even come out sometimes#why can’t people who see the show be like some of the fans on here#who are RESPECTFUL#AS YOU SHOULD BE#this is my restrained anger#will the psas reach more people on TikTok???#maybe they should get security guards or somethin to get fans out#the ones who are terrible beings#had to rant#jason schmidt#melody rose#brent comer#brody grant#soc saturday#dan berry#joshua boone#josh strobl#sky lakota lynch#emma pittman#Daryl tofa#starlight’s rambling
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a jegulus fic based on imgonnagetyouback and James is planning on trying to win Regulus back and have them be together again, he's brainstorming this elaborate plan and showing up to woo him but Regulus is planning to get him back by making his life hell and he's he's insane about it he's keying his car and being generally just a little shit
#and then they get together at the end#because i said so#they're just in very different phases of grieving their love#regulus is in anger and james is in pure denial#it would be unhinged#and i like it#i've had so many fic ideas over the past few days#i need them out of my head#jegulus
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Wish · My Violent Heart · The Becoming · Please · Closer · Down In It · 1,000,000 · Starfuckers Inc. · Right Where It Belongs
Dennis + Nine Inch Nails // souls & holes
#iasip#dennis reynolds#it's always sunny in philadelphia#ada speaks#i could & prob will make several of these i just needed to get this out of the way first because it's the easiest to see the connections#harder to get across that both trent & den are coping in similar ways because it oftentimes requires context of the majority of the song#but you see the recurring themes. and the progression through these albums is truly something to behold#the anger and the emptiness and the relapses and the self destruction#there are far better examples of this in other songs but they require at least some knowledge of recurring elements and phrases#anyway.#starfuckers inc is just here for funsies and i almost left in the next few lines but lol#and when i suck you off not a drop will go to waste... it's really not so bad you know once you get past the taste 👍 (asskisser)#the line from wish is followed by '26 years on my way to hell' which makes me laugh every time i hear it bc#'i'm twenty six' etc etc etc#GOTTA LISTEN TO YOUR BIIIIG TIME HARD LINE BAD LUCK FIST FUCK
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i have a hc that aren leans on something like a wall or desk or like slightly bows when he’s talking to shun to kinda get down to his level
#maybe because i do the same when i talk to my friend#and we have like the same height difference as them#like#exactly the same#i’m 173#she’s 159#anyways#saiki k#disastrous life of saiki k#saiki kusou no psi nan#saiki kusuo no psi nan#saiki kusuo no ψ nan#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki k headcanons#shun kaidou#kaidou shun#aren kuboyasu#kuboyasu aren#meant as platonic but could be romantic if you want it to#forgot to mention that it annoys the hell out of shun#like ‘oh come on i’m not that short#you don’t need to bow down to talk to me dude’#<- literally something my friend said to me#we are them fr#she’s short and cares a lot about school#i’m tall ish with anger issues and i don’t really care about school and get mid grades#and i’m in love with saiki kusuo#only difference is that she’s the transfer and i’ve lived here my whole life#also forgot to mention that i’m an only child and she has both a brother and a sister
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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now i love langdon right, and im rooting for him to get better and figure out his issues, and i think it's very interesting that they chose not to let mel see him in his bad moments - yelling at santos, lashing out at robby - and i just. hm. something about angry men. something makes me think that if mel had seen that maybe she wouldn't trust him so easily. i wonder whether he will ever understand that. i wonder whether she'll ever find out
#chaos.txt#like i said to my friends when i watched that scene like. holy fuck if that was my consultant i would just cry#like i just don't trust angry men. i don't. you yell like that once you can do it again and you Will do it again and you won't even think#maybe it's just withdrawals. Maybe. but i think anger like that lives inside you and just needs an excuse to get out#get better langdon. pls prove me wrong.
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SOCIETY KEEPS KILLING ONE OF THEM BCS THEIR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE INCAPABLE FOR GALAXIES TO HANDLE !!!!!
#theyre actually the same height but cliffjumper's pedes are made for climbing leaping causing pain to others#so he has spikes that sheath and unsheath from the soles and he keeps them out pretty much all the time which gives him height#fuzzy fat bumblebee and ANT#cliffjumper#i want cliffjumper sounds just like Miss SecondOpinionson but monotone & says everything like it's a fact#he keeps a permanent judgemental and suspicious expression and will tell you all of his surface level judgement of u#which js A Lot as he is Very observant and skeptical of Everything#mirage loves him bcs he doesnt play nice. he tells u how he sees it when he sees it#meanwhile bee is mewing from the amount of hatred secretly boiling inside him & is constantly changing himself for others#when they have time to reunite as old best friends .. the girlies have fun which means cliff is smiling for once & bee is not#everybody feels bad for bee when they see this bcs they think cliff is boring him or something & ruining his good mood#but actually bee is having the time of his life venting finally abt all his 'mean thoughts' which are just His thoughts but he cant say that#and cliff loves violence & is uncomfortable with social etiquette upkeep so of course hes indulging#i need the world to stop pitting my girlbosses against each other like just get creative with their designs lol#characters can have depth without merging personalities together into 1 and killing off the other half to cover up ur stealing lol#bee def has anger issues too but it's an after effect from his overthinking backfiring#while cliff has anger issues that flares b4 actions due to not wanting to think in favor of pure Doing#i think they are lovely foils which should be explored and can be done rlly interestingly if they were friends#who keep getting pit against each other by life but refuse to lose that friendship .. it's just a little cracked now.. & keeps cracking#bumblebee#transformers#maccadam
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ok my OTHER reflection:
on the one hand its really frustrating to see the posts about docs and healthcare in general on here be so narrow-minded. bad experiences with certain providers have lead to a huge spread of misinformation and mistrust with the whole system. which can and HAS lead to people avoiding 'evil' doctors for perfectly treatable illnesses and dying from them (the vaccine bullshit, anyone?)
but on the other hand. it is TERRIFYING how some of these docs practice medicine. at times i think 'are you just burned out and don't give a shit or are you straight up just stupid?' and i work in critical care. where quite literally every case is life or death. even in the academic sector where there is supposedly a standard of excellence, some doctors i would not let touch my loved ones with a ten foot pole.
and that sucks. i know this is the no nuance piss on the poor webbed site but 'the medical system and people that work for it are fallible and aspects of it are morally questionable at best/unethical at worst' AND 'the field of medicine exists to help people first and foremost and mistrusting/avoiding it can be detrimental in the long run' can and DO co-exist
#also. folks i hate to tell you but 'doctors get big pharma kickbacks and they can cure you but just choose not to to get more money'#is a very tempting conspiracy theory. but it is SO UNTRUE.#hey listen. if someone is telling you they can 'cure' your disease magically if you just take x vitamin THEY ARE LYING#even miraculous cures like bone marrow transplants for autoimmune disease and CAR-T therapy#have such severe side-effects that they quite literally kill you#i can't tell you how many times i've taken care of people who#had their cancer 'cured' but the treatment ruined their kidneys/heart/lungs#or fucked their immune system so bad that a common bacteria could completely take them out#anyone selling you miracles is L Y I N G#i understand that a lot of this anger is around disability and chronic illness and psych and i get that. intimately.#its 100% accurate to say that a patient who researched independently about ehlers-danlos or POTS knows more about it than i do.#and its hard to see the profession as 'people who sincerely ARE trying to help' when you actively work with people who fucking suck#and you think like 'you went to school. you went through all this training. you (presumably) passed boards'#we should have at least around the same level of knowledge#but that is often not the case#still#making large scale statements about an entire profession (especially when its supposed to be a civic service) is just... not good#my two cents rec for this is:#if you think you have something rare or unusual try to find a doc that specialized in this i.e. go to an academic center.#trainees are less set in their ways and can think outside the box PLUS if there are new/innovative treatments they would have them#if you need pretty much ANY surgery. private is the way to go#you want surgeons with high volume and experience#surgical techniques do not change on the dime. most havent changed in 50+ years. a lot of other medicine DOES#(this of course does not apply to specialized surgeries like whipple or PTE or schwannoma resection - go to academics for that)#if its REALLY rare whether medical or surgical your GP will not know what to do with you#academic centers are referral centers. they are more likely to have the right tools to diagnose/treat#where was i going with this?#oh yeah i had an odd interaction with an ED doc admitting to me last night that was NOT practicing within current standard of care#and was just so casual and assured i started to doubt MYself. like. am I the crazy one?!?!#like i'm young i dont know everything SURE
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Logging out for a while, love you miss you <3
#idk when I'll be back on#I think maybe end of the month to test the waters but we'll see#someone was having a bad day and decided to take it out in my inbox last night#and then when I logged off they got mad I didn't answer and sent a few more 🤪#usually I'm pretty good at rationalizing these things. gen z feels like the only place they have power is on the internet so of course when#they're angry and scared they're going to come after the people that they can actually reach#(and that includes me; proud owner of an anime thirst blog with 6 followers <3)#what they need is a hug and a copy of the anarchist protest guide and maybe a community garden; not someone responding to them with more#anger#but as I stated. I'm exhausted.#anyway. this is all to say#if you're feeling so much kinetic energy from rage that you feel the best way to get rid of it is to yell at some rando on the internet#use that energy to do something productive#sign up for a protest; volunteer at your local soup kitchen; teach crafts at the library.#a lot of people need a lot of help right now; why waste time shouting into the void when you could be doing something with genuine impact#the world needs helpers more than ever#if you made it this far thank u I love you; and stay safe out there cowboys 💞
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