#I often screenshot a lot to share my process with friends

[thunderboltfire]

I have to admit, I have a vague fear that one day, if I polish my drawings a little bit too much someone will ask me if it's AI, and then they will make me prove that it is not (and you know, things on the internet are not provable - and it's way harder to prove you are not something than that you are).

[cellythefloshie]

;; Paths We Didn't Take Dedicated to @wyattjohnston for her birthday bingo

Summary: City girl, Margeaux, had sworn off love after breaking up with her boyfriend of two years. She’s thought he was the one, but instead of a wedding ring, Margeaux was left trying to fill the void he left being. With the help of her friends, she escaped the life she knew in the city. Deep in cabin country, Margeaux struggles to find herself - but it's easier said than done when her high school sweetheart makes an unexpected appearance. Birthday Bingo Tropes: Lake Fic, One-Night Stand, Sworn Off Love, High School Sweethearts, Fish Out of Water, Exes to Lovers, Opposites Attract. Kinks & Tropes: protected sex, it's pretty vanilla (and nowhere near what I usually write for smut, so be gentle with me, I've been out of the game for a while). ABOUT THE OC: Margeaux, face claim: Nicola Peltz. Word Count: 9.6k+ A/N: Demi, I AM SO SO SORRY for how long it took me to write this fic or you for your special day. AND thank you for being so understanding as I reached out to you during my writing process. This fic is a little different from anything I've written before. It's got a lot more pop-culture references than I usually include, and if I really let myself fall into the plot fully, this easily could have been a slow burn novel fulled with so much lake side shenanigans. Just watch, this will be a rabbit hole I fall into often, just like Adam and Charlie..... Anyway, I hope it was worth the wait. Happy Belated Birthday. 🎂

Part One. 

Tears glimmered like diamonds as they traveled over the swell of Margeaux’s cheeks and down into the corners of her lips. Slowly, her tongue licked them away, tasting her own sorrows. And she watched it all in the reflection produced on her phone screen, a live video shared with her thousands of followers live on TikTok. They heard every echo of her footsteps of her empty apartment that had once been filled with laughter, love and her ex-boyfriend’s cologne. Now, it smelt of nothing but the fresh morning breeze that gusts over the rolling waves that crashed up onto Vancouver’s shores. 

Margeaux could smell it as she took an unsteady breath, a desperate attempt at composure, but her eyes were already red and swollen from crying. Her viewers had seen it all, the comments flooded with love. They had lived in that apartment with her through her videos. They had all shared a little piece of her two-year relationship that was now over. Some viewers shared her broken heart, others were angry - as she should have been. He had cheated on her, after all, and they were the first ones to know it. Sending her all the screenshots of evidence. They were all strangers, yet her closest friends. It just made sense to be ending this chapter of her life with them. 

“We’ve been through so much here, haven’t we?” she spoke, her voice breaking as she addressed her growing audience. The comment section flooded so quickly that she couldn’t even read it, “So many adventures, love, headache. We have grown up together here, between these walls.”

Margeaux panned the camera over the sterile white walls that would be the blank canvas of life to the next residents set to move in at the beginning of August. Then Margeaux turned the camera back to herself, her expression soft with sadness but bright with the hope she held for her future. “But I’m done,” she declared, her voice growing stronger. “I’m done with the heartache, the lies, and the broken promises. We’re better than that. We deserve better. I’m swearing off men, and that’s a promise!”

Behind her, Margeaux's words had earned a slow, almost hollow sounding applause that echoed off the large apartment’s empty walls. It drew her gaze bag and tugged her lips into a soft smile. It was Carrie, her best friend, who had returned from carrying the last box down to the can. Margeaux had hoped that she would have been able to sneak in a quick stream while she was gone, but she had been caught up in the moment of it all, leaving Carrie’s eyes rolling upon discovering her. 

“Margeaux, seriously?” Carried scoffed, a single hand raising up to tangle in her curls, “Nobody wants to see you cry on TikTok.”

Margeaux sniffled, wiping away a single tear with the back of her hand, all the while smiling. “You’re right,” she sighed, her shoulders slouching as she looked back to the camera, “I think it’s time I disconnect for a while, guys. We started this journey together in this apartment and achieved so much. But outside of this bubble I’ve made for myself, do we really know who Margeaux Fortin is? Do we know what’s next?” 

She walked to the window slowly, a gust of wind catching her golden hair and tossing it away from her face, that was now free of tears. Her viewing could see her face in full. How her eyes seemed to squint in the breeze, and how her lips parted in a trembling breath. “We don’t. It’s something we will have to discover, but I have to do it alone, friends. I will be back, and I can’t wait to share my new version of me with you all.”

Slowly, her arm lowered, her stream capturing nothing more than the white walls before the stream ended. Margeaux stood by the window in silence, waiting for Carrie to quip in with something charming, but it never came. Turning in place, Margeaux crossed her arms over her chest and held herself firmly as she was met with Carrie’s narrow stare. 

“People really buy all that bullshit?” Her words were laced with a laugh that would have been a firm ‘ha’ if it came to fruition. 

“It’s not bullshit,” Margeaux gripped at the fabric of her own cardigan tightly. 

Carrie had never understood why she devoted so much time to social media and her followers. Margeaux spent the last 2 years of her life living through the screen or her phone or a camera if she were filming something to be posted later, and she was successful with it. Not only had she garnered a mass of followers, she had made many friendships and sponsorships and had experienced things she would have never imagined she could. Yet, Carried was humble, disconnected from all social media, and liked to live in the moment. If they hadn’t been friends since preschool, they probably wouldn’t have been friends at all. 

She had almost lost her a few times too, and Margeaux was glad she hadn’t. Outside her online presence, Carrie was all she had left. 

“Hey,” Carrie left where she stood by the doorway and walked across the room to take Margeaux into her arms. “I know it’s not bullshit… It’s just weird,” she sighed, and when she drew back, Margeaux made sure to give her a smile. 

“It’s all I know,” Margeaux sighed, “but as long as I’m online, as long as my breakup is trendy, I’m just going to be reminded of what he put me through - but I don’t know what else to do, Carrie.”

Carrie’s expression softened, and Margeaux’s heart sank. She was pitying her. 

“I know it’s hard, but you’ll get through this because I know just the thing to help.”

Margeaux raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued, “Oh?”

Carrie smiled, a glint in her eyes that Margeaux couldn’t quite identify. “My friend Mat is coming home for the summer. He’s got a cabin up in the mountains, and he’s invited me to stay there. I’m allowed to bring friends, and Charlotte and Samantha are already on board. You should come with us.”

Margeaux bit down on her lip as she hesitated to answer. This was the first time she had heard of this trip, but she wasn’t surprised. Carrie never invited her out to do anything that involved the outdoors, and that was for good reason. Margeaux hated the heat and the cold, the sun and the rain, the dirt and she hated the bugs more. The scenery itself was beautiful, especially in British Columbia. It was, to put it simply, picturesque, everything she needed for her online presence, but if she went with Carrie, Margeaux wouldn’t be going to make content. She would be trying to find herself. 

“I don’t know,” Margeaux sighed, her tone returning to that soft, disheartened tone she had started her stream with. “You know I’m not exactly the outdoorsy type.”

Carrie raised a single well manicured hand, waving off Margeaux's concerns with ease. “You don’t have to be. It’ll be good for you to get away from all of this for a while. Just think of it as a much-needed forest retreat.”

Margeaux bit her lip as her mind flashed to the image of a rustic cabin in the middle of nowhere. Where mosquitos would feast on her blood, the howl of wolves would keep her up at night and where dirt would stain her spotless white shoes. She cringed as her mind spiraled with just how bad it could be.

What if there was no internet or worse, no air conditioning?

In her mind, it sounded more like torture than somewhere she could go to relax, rejuvenate and find herself after spending years of giving little pieces of herself to her ex just for him to throw it all away. 

Margeaux's shoulders shook with a deep breath that escaped her lips in a sigh. Then she looked around the empty apartment one last time, letting the reality of her situation really sink in. Her boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, had cheated on her. She was moving out of the apartment that was meant to be her home. She was nothing more than an internet personality who was a shell of who she once was. Margeaux needed to move on, to find herself, but she wasn’t going to find it in Vancouver. 

She bit her tongue to keep herself from cursing. Carrie was right. 

“Okay,” she said finally, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, “I’ll go.”

Carrie's features grew bright, her jaw slacking as she smiled. She must not have thought Margeaux was going to accept, but she had surprised them both. Margeaux just hoped she wouldn’t regret it. 

“You’re going to love it,” Carrie assured, throwing a single arm around her shoulders to lead her out of the apartment, and the life she was leaving behind. “This summer is going to be exactly what we need. We finally get to have a hot girl summer together.”

Now it was Margeaux’s eyes that were rolling. They hadn’t been single at the same time since sixth grade, but the last thing Margeaux wanted was to go sleeping around. Especially when the wounds of her breakup were still fresh. 

“We’ll see about that,” Margeaux sighed and the weight on her heart began to lift ever so slightly. The apartment with all its memories - good and bad - would be behind her soon, and maybe, just maybe, with a little help, she could find herself again. 

—

The winding mountain road twisted and turned, the dense forest on either side a blur of green as the car sped along with urgency. They had left Carrie’s place behind schedule, and Margeaux was going to be the first to admit that it was her fault. She didn’t know what to pack, so she over packed, and they had spent 30 minutes trying to make sure all her bags would fit. While Carrie’s grip on the steering wheel was tense, Margeaux’s cluelessness hadn’t fully killed the mood. The atmosphere, especially in the back seat, was lively. 

The car vibrated with the base of the hottest song of summer - according to Samantha, who lay sprawled out over the center console as she did her best to outshine Sabrina Carpenter as she sang along with Espresso - albeit off-key. Charlotte sat beside her in the backseat, her phone in hand as she curated just what songs would come next. Margeaux sat in the passenger’s seat, watching as Samantha tapped at the screen on her phone. Jealous. Carrie had taken her phone from her before they got in the car. Margeaux was officially cut off. No more TikTok. No X. Not even Facebook, which was primarily kept to message no one beyond her grandmother. And watching Samantha in the back seat made Margeaux’s skin crawl. It was an itch she wouldn't be able to scratch for the entire weekend, and one that she was struggling to ignore.  

There was snow saving her, or at least that's how she felt as the tapping of Carrie’s fingers against the steering wheel mimicked the racing of her anxious heart. She couldn't even bring herself to sing along with one of her favorite Taylor Swift songs as it blasted through the car. Charlotte cheered as if she were in the front row at the Eras Tour, and Carrie sang like she was performing in front of a crowd of thousands. She sang with so much passion, so much heart. But Margeaux only sunk further into her seat. 

There was an ache in the depths of her chest, one that had begun to gnaw at her ever since the breakup. Sometimes, it felt like it was finally beginning to fade - but being surrounded by her friends, the laughter and the music only numbed the pain. Deep below the surface, she was still hurting and Margeaux was beginning to question if anything could heal her. 

Her phone. 

She needed her phone. 

Lulling her head to the side, Margeaux looked down at the backpack that rested at her own feet. Carrie’s backpack. The one she had confined her phone to at the beginning of the trip as Margeaux was sentenced to be completely isolated from the very lifeline that was her phone. 

Maybe, with Carrie distracted, Margeaux could reach her phone. 

Margeaux slouched in her seat, her bright eyes watching Carrie as she rocked the chorus. 

Her perfectly manicured fingers pinched at the zipper, pulling it open, the very sound of it drowned out by her friend’s vocals. And for a moment, as the bag fell open, Margeaux felt hope, relief- and it was all gone just as quickly as it came as she felt Carrie’s careful grasp coil around her hand. 

Looking up through thick lashes, Margeaux sighed. Carrie’s eyes hadn’t even left the road. “Margeaux, you need this. You need to let you. Just for a little while.” 

Full lips parted, ready to argue - to insist that she was fine - but it all would have been a lie. A desperate attempt to get her life back, but Margeaux had been friends with Carrie long enough to know that it would have been a losing battle. They looked out for one another, they always did, and Carrie was just doing what was best for her, Margeaux knew that. 

“Fine,” she pouted, her arms crossing over her chest childishly. 

Carrie laughed, the tension in the car evaporating slowly as Margeaux became distracted by the scenery as it passed the window in a blur. The singing and laughter were the mere background track of her mind that was still fixated on the anxiety and the dread she was trying to escape. It haunted her for the rest of the drive, her head resting against the car window as she told herself that the complications of her life were behind her now, and that they would be at the cabin soon. 

Soon, she would finally find peace. 

The trees began to thin, and the road opened up to a large clearing at the end of a winding driveway. There was a sight that left Margeaux’s breath catching in her throat. The cabin wasn’t the rustic, rundown shack she had imagined. It was a beautiful, multistory cabin with floor to ceiling glass windows that reflected the surrounding forest and mountains on the skyline. It had a large porch too, one that wrapped around the front and had a towering staircase that led from the driveway up to the front door.  

“Wow,” Margeaux breathed out as she stepped out of the car, taking it all in. “You didn’t tell me we were visiting Edward Cullen.”

Carrie’s lips split into a wide grin, it was clear to Margeaux that her friend was pleased by the shock that was painted all over her face. “Not bad, right?” 

“Not bad at all,” Margeaux agreed, moving to the trunk to grab her bags, “you know, I would have been much more agreeable if I knew this was the kind of cabin we were coming to-”

“What’s the fun in that?” Carrie teased her, helping her unload one of her many bags - a bag that ended up on the ground as they were both startled by a shout from at the top of the steps;

“Carrie!”

Margeaux looked up, her trendy curtain bangs falling into her eyes, as she stood in the driveway left frozen at the sight of the man jogging down the steps towards them. He was tall, with an athletic build on full display, as he was wearing nothing more than a pair of swim trunks. His dark hair was shaggy, hanging down into his eyes, and as he got closer, she could see the easy smile on his face. He was handsome - very handsome - and Margeaux quickly concluded that this must be Carrie’s friend, Mat. 

She watched, still lingering at the trunk of the car, as Carrie reached Mat at the bottom of the stairs. They met in an embrace, Mat’s hands lingering low on Carrie’s back. Margeaux’s brow raised and her head tilt so silently screamed, friend’s my ass. They were fucking. Margeaux didn’t need to be told to know that, and it left a sour taste in her mouth knowing that she had been invited alone to some fuck fest in the woods. 

Her mood changed in an instant as she unpacked the rest of her bags that began to pile up as if she had just gotten off an international light. Margeaux grumbled to herself, her brows heavy and lips pressed into a firm line. And her expression only hardened further as she heard the symphony of footsteps that belonged to Mat’s friends. They too were making their way down to greet them, and while she was curious, Margeaux was mad. Carrie had invited her with the full intention of keeping Mat’s friends busy for the weekend. 

Hot Girl Summer. 

Gripping the handle of one of her bags tight, Margeaux took a deep breath and tried to get her features to relax before she looked up at the trio of men that had made their way down from the cabin, their welcome party. They were making their introductions to Charlotte and Samantha who had already pulled out all the stops when it came to their flirtations and charms - which wasn’t all that difficult when they had driven down not wearing more than a pair of denim shorts pulled over their swimsuits. 

A part of Margeaux hoped that the sights of them alone would be enough to distract the men from her - that Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha would have all of their undivided attention while she struggled to carry her bags up the staircase and then went off to hide somewhere on a lounge chair or a beach to enjoy the sun. And while Margeaux was sure she wouldn’t be lucky enough to disappear, she still tried. She organized her bags with such an ease that only came with the experience of travel, closed up the trunk and slowly rounded the car like a deer trying to creep past a predator. She even kept her head down in an attempt to go unnoticed. 

And she might have been successful if it hadn’t been her own heart that failed her. 

There was a familiar laugh that took the air. It was a low laugh, one that could only belong to a man. But not any man. This was a laugh she had heard countless times before. One that she had coaxed from thin lips, one that made her heart thunder when she was merely sixteen - and even after seven years, it still did. Her heart pounded so hard she could feel it in her ears. It felt like she had just finished a sprint, though she was standing still. And her luggage slipped from suddenly sweaty palms, sending it to the ground in a clamor that brought all the attention to her. 

At that moment, it was all confirmed in front of her. 

Margeaux’s breath caught in her throat as her gaze fixated on the all too familiar face that hadn’t seen her yet. He was laughing at something someone said, and looked just as she remembered him - his smile large, his eyes bright and his hair threatening to curl as it was slicked back with sweat or water - except he was older now, more mature, and even more attractive. 

The need to take even a single breath strangled her lungs, but the shock of the unexpected reunion was heavy on her chest. She hadn’t prepared for this. 

Her high school sweetheart. 

Anthony Beauvillier.

Part Two. 

For the rest of the first day at the cabin, Margeaux had kept herself hidden away in the bedroom that was hers for the weekend. There she followed through with her multi-step self care routine that she always did before bed. Carrie had only tried to bug her once, but Margeaux was quick to dismiss her with nothing more than a scowl. She wasn't joining them by the fire tonight. She wasn't going to drink craft beer and pretend everything was okay. Not when it was all so clearly a setup. But Margeaux could only hide away from Anthony and her friends for so long. 

Come morning, Margeaux was sitting out on the front steps of the cabin with a shoebox in her lap. Inside were a pair of brand-new hiking boots, a purchase she had made more out of necessity than desire. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she carefully removed each of her dainty designer sandals. The thin straps and detailing were a stark contrast to the rugged shoes she was about to put on. Then, she slipped on a clean white pair of socks, opened the shoe box and fought the boots onto her feet. They were tight, uncomfortable even as she would be breaking them in on the post-breakfast hike. 

It was as she was tieing up the laces of each boot that a familiar voice broke through the sound of the morning breeze and chirping of early rising birds. “Those brand new?” 

Squinting her eyes, Margeaux looked up, rose-tinted sunglasses shielding her eyes from the sun that illuminated Anthony from behind like a radiant halo. He stood a few steps away, already dressed for the hike, with a teasing grin on his face. Margeaux knew their paths would cross again. Yet his presence left her heart jolting at the sight of him. 

“Maybe,” she finally replied, her smile turning inwards as she adjusted the laces just right. 

Anthony chuckled, his gaze dropping to her shoes before meeting her eyes again. “You never really were the outdoorsy type.” 

Margeaux stiffened, her shoulders rolling back as they tensed, unsure of how to respond. The comment was innocent enough, and very much the truth, but she didn't like it. It made her feel that she didn't belong there. That Anthony didn't want her to be there. 

“Well, here I am.” 

Anthony smirked as he took a casual stride towards the railing of the deck. He leaned there casually, but his gaze continued to linger on her. “So, what has you all the way out here?”

The question hung heavily in the air, and Margeaux could sense the deeper meaning behind his words. He wasn't just asking about the cabin or Vancouver. He was asking about her life, about how she ended up there. And while the simple answer was Carrie, she was sure Anthony was asking about one thing, but would never actually say the words.

I’m not fucking Mat if that's what you're asking, was what she wanted to say. But Margeaux answered him with less vulgarity, “I dumped my boyfriend, and Carrie thought I could use a change of scenery.”

For a moment, as Margeaux so blatantly stared at him, she thought she saw a flicker of something in his expression. Relief, maybe, or something close to it. But it was gone in the blink of her eyes, replaced by that same teasing smile he had greeted her with. “You’re joining us for the hike?”

“I didn't put on these ugly things for fun,” Margeaux said, wiggling her feet. 

“They aren't supposed to be good looking, Margeaux. They're supposed to be supportive, comfortable,” he told her with a grin that faded as he looked from one side of her to the next. His expression softened slowly, his eyes squinting as if he were trying to find something that wasn't there. 

“What?” she snapped more harshly than she had intended. 

“Where's your bag?” 

Margeaux blinked, her eyes wide and clueless. “Hiking bag?”

Anthony turned in place, his back resting against the railing as his smile fell into a sigh. His band then raised up, carding through his messing morning hair. “You're not carrying anything with you? No water, no snacks, nothing?”

Margeaux perked up in place. She shouldn't have, but she did. She was bringing something. Her hand dropped to her side where her GoPro sat, waiting to be mounted on her chest with a contraption she had bought on Amazon last minute. She held it up for him to see, feeling a little foolish, but happy. It was her only connection to her online persona, and it made her feel a little less anxious as she was about to dive into the world of being outdoorsy - a world she never really wanted to be a part of. 

He was left unimpressed as he pushed off the rail and moved for his bag that rested nearby. There was a thunder of footsteps behind her. It was time to go.

“Just. Stick close to me,” Anthony said, his tone serious as he fell into stride with the rest of the group. 

“What? Why?” she asked, standing up as she fastened the camera over her chest. 

“You're going to need all the help you can get,” he replied, a hint of concern in his voice. 

And while she knew that he was right. His words still stung. 

“No air won't,” Margeaux bit back at him, her confidence forced, but so convincing she almost believed herself. 

He didn't have to look back at her for Margeaux to know that he was smiling. She could hear it in Anthony's words as he spoke, “Alright, Princess. We'll see about that.” 

Hearing her old nickname left Margeaux frozen in place. Each of her friends passed her, but she fixated on Anthony and only Anthony. He had been the only one she let call her that. Not her parents, nor her most recent ex were allowed to - and when he tried, she had shut it down quickly, yet casually, and suggested an alternative. Because it had been something special when Anthony said it. It left her heart fluttering, and her cheeks pink with blush. Even as he said it then, and she was hearing it for the first time in years, she remembered each time he said it before. Quickly, she became the giddy teenager that was undeniably and irrevocably in love with Anthony Beauvillier. 

The feeling was fleeting, gone as quickly as it came, knocked out of her with her breath as a pair of arms flung around her in a tight embrace. 

“What are you waiting for? Let's go!”

It was Carrie. All too chipper, and all too happy for Margeaux to stomach when she could already feel the itch of a mosquito bite on her arm. Besides that fact, Margeaux was still angry that Carrie had put her into this position.

Taking a deep breath, Margeaux shrugged her friend's arms from her body. The quick turn of her head offered her an eye roll and a glare that only brought Carrie to laughter. She knew this would upset her, but knew that keeping it from Margeaux and asking for forgiveness later was easier than trying to convince her to go.

Carrie nudged her as they reached the beginning of the trail, and when she spoke, she kept her voice low so as not to be heard by the rest of the group that led the way. “So,” she licked her lips, “how long are you going to be mad at me for?” 

Margeaux glanced ahead, making sure Anthony was out of earshot. He walked at the front of the pack, making the hike through the Instagram worthy view look so effortless as she tripped over rocks. She watched as he tried to dodge a branch of a pine tree; the bristles brushing against the fabric of his shirt. As she walked in his wake, she could smell the scent of it in the air. Pine mixed with dirt, mixed with the sunscreen on her face that had already begun to run into her eyes as sweat dripped off her brow. 

Her eyes squinted, her nose wrinkling too at the discomfort as she spoke, “I think 4 years would suffice. You know, the amount of time Anthony and I dated in high school.” 

He had been playing for the Shawinigan Cataractes when Margeaux had met him. So sweet, and so shy, she had to make the first move. They had been inseparable since that moment. That was until he was called up to the NHL by the Islanders. He moved to New York; she moved to Vancouver. Slowly, even after their efforts, they lost touch. Margeaux told herself it was just how things were meant to be. The two of them, just highschool sweethearts, never meant to be more than her first love. But now she wasn't so-

“He's single, you know?” Carrie broke through her thoughts.

“How do you-” Margeaux spoke quickly, her tongue tripping over her words as she couldn't follow a single train of thought, “what is he even doing here? Did you invite him?”

“No,” Carrie held up both hands as if to plead her innocence, “he's Mat's old teammate. They're still close friends. I didn't find out he was coming until a few days before.”

“But you didn't tell me,” Margeaux bit out. 

“I didn't,” Carrie hummed, “but” she added in a sing-song tone, “I bet it's nice seeing again.”

“It is,” she admitted, “in a way, I guess. But it doesn't mean I forgive you. Not when I know you only invited us out here to keep his friends busy during your weekend booty call.” 

Carrie didn't even blush. She had no shame as she leaned in and kissed Margeaux on the cheek before she ran off to the middle of the pack where Mat was walking. 

It left Margeaux alone at the back of the pack, falling further and further behind as they followed the trail. It grew steeper with every stride, and Margeaux's legs began to ache. While she loved her pilates, her body was in no way trained for the long hike. Her breath became short, her gasps quiet as she did her best not to draw attention to herself. Each step was a struggle as she began to question just how far she could go. Yet, she didn't ask for help. 

She didn't have to. 

With her eyes fixated on the ground, Margeaux jumped in surprise at the sound of the sudden but softly spoken. “Here” that met her ears. Looking up, she found Anthony walking beside her. He had noticed her struggling and had fallen to the back of the pack, with the mouthpiece of his water bladder in hand. He offered it to him with a soft, concerned smile. “You look like you could use this.”

Her pride was bruised, yet Margeaux took the mouthpiece and accepted her defeat. They paused in the middle of the trail and she took a long drink that soothed her dry throat. When she pulled back, Margeaux was sure she could see the gratitude written all over her face. “Merci,” she muttered, handing it back. 

Anthony smiled. 

“We're almost to the top,” he encouraged. “The hike back will be easier.” 

Margeaux nodded, raising a hand to wipe the sweat off her brow. She was too tired to speak, but his reassurance gave her the strength to keep going. They walked together in silence, the sound of their footsteps lost in the faint laughter of their friends in the distance. 

They followed the sound; the laughter growing louder and louder until they reached the peak of the trail together. The trees parted into a clearing that looked down over the sprawling forest around them and left endless blue skies free from their shade. Margeaux could feel the hot sun on her skin, but the summer breeze cooled her. And she smiled. 

“See,” Anthony nudged her casually, “worth the effort, right?” 

She looked back over her shoulder at him, still smiling. “Yeah.” 

He stood at her side, their backs to the rest of the group as they admired the view from the peak of the trail. The group all linger there for a while, sharing conversation and refueling for the descent. But Margeaux only spent her time with Anthony, sharing his water and casual conversation. Even as they walked back to the cabin, they walked side by side, his arms finding her when she stumbled. Margeaux was relieved by the time they reached the cabin steps. But she was also feeling something new. Something that felt a little like excitement, a little like hope, and she knew it was all because of Anthony. 

Part Three.

The hot day faded into a cool, starry night. Margeaux had insisted that she was going to go straight to bed, but with a little convincing, she was pulling on her sweatshirt and joining the group out back by the lake where there was a fire pit. The flames danced, and the wood crackled, releasing sparks into the darkness above. 

The fiery embers danced in the breeze and Margeaux watched them until they were lost among the stars. The air was engulfed by the scent of wood-smoke, tainting the fresh air that almost left Margeaux dreading that they would be going back to the city come morning. She was just starting to like this place, though she was sure that wouldn't have been the case if Anthony wasn't there. 

He had been as sweet as the gooey marshmallow and melted chocolate sandwiched between graham crackers that oozed between her fingers. An insatiable delight that only left her wanting more than they sat side by side around the fire. Anthony had her laughing. He had her forgetting the reasons she had agreed to go out to the cabin. It was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. The heartache, the uncertainty, and the anxiety were all gone, but it left all the room for dread. 

It hit her like a truck the moment she felt something crawling on her leg. It left her heart heavy as she tried to ignore it. Margeaux told herself that it had to be another harmless insect. She even reached a hand down, swatting the air, but the sensation persisted. It sent shivers down her spine, and when she looked down, she saw it - a small, dark tick making its way up her leg. 

Shooting up from her seat, Margeaux shouted the first thing that came to mind as she tried to shake the bug off her leg, “Anthony!”

Anthony, who had been sitting right beside her, dropped down so that he knelt in the dirt. The flickering flame illuminated his features, and even in the intensity of its light, he was calm. He reached out with both hands, her body becoming still in an instant as he searched for the tick. “It hasn’t latched on yet. Hold still.”

Margeaux held her breath, her lungs burning deep in her chest, as she stood there frozen as Anthony reached for the tick. His fingers were gentle but sure as he plucked the tiny tick from her skin. He held it up briefly for her to see that it was in her hold, before tossing it into the fire, where it disappeared with a faint sizzle. 

“It’s gone,” he reassured, but then his face wrinkled, “but there might be more. You should check yourself over, just to be safe.”

Her heart surged as she was hit by another wave of panic. The thought of more ticks crawling on her skin left her on the verge of tears as she nodded quickly. She was struggling to keep her composure. “I don’t think I can. Could you?”

Anthony hesitated, his throat clearing as he looked at each of his and her friends. Then, he ran his hand over his jawline before giving a small nod, “alright, let’s go inside.”

They left the warmth of the fire together, Margeaux’s quick steps leading the way. She didn’t stop until they were enclosed by the shadows of the bedroom. It was quiet there, the amber glow of the table top lamp at her bedside. It was too intimate; she decided quickly, but not even turning on the overhead light erased the feeling of uneasiness that came with the reality of what she told him to do. 

Margeaux’s hands trembled slightly as she undressed, peeling off her clothes layer by layer until she stood in nothing but her bra and underwear. She felt exposed, vulnerable, but also annoyed. Her bra and panties didn’t match, and were far from cute - but she hadn’t exactly planned for anyone else to see them. Especially not Anthony. 

But he didn’t seem to notice as he turned around from closing the door behind her, and if he didn’t, he didn’t comment on it. Anthony was completely quiet as he approached her. He stood in her shadow, his hands reaching out to rest on her shoulders with such a gentleness Margeaux held her breath. “You ready?”

Margeaux nodded, giving him the permission he needed to continue. He checked her carefully, his hands moving over her skin with a touch that was both methodological and tender. His hands didn’t linger in any place too long, but Margeaux’s skin was lit ablaze as it lingered. She could feel it burn down her arms, her back and even her legs. But it was only as his fingers reached the band of her bra that Margeaux held her breath. 

“Sometimes,” Anthony’s words were a mere whisper, “sometimes they like to hide here,” he explained softly. 

Margeaux nodded slowly, her throat too tight to speak. She didn’t give him the time to undo it himself. Instead, she reached behind her and unclasped the bra for him. She could hear it hit the floor, her eyes going shut at the sound, and she turned slowly to face Anthony. 

When she opened her eyes, Anthony’s face was a deep shade of red, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he reached out with careful, respectful hands, and he continued his search. He stroked along the impression the bra had left behind on her skin and caressed the underside of her breasts. 

It left her shuddering. 

Margeaux hoped he didn’t notice. 

“There’s nothing,” Anthony finally said, his voice soft as he met her eyes. 

Margeaux let herself breathe again, relieved. “Thank you.”

That should have been his queue to leave, for Margeaux to pull away and find her clothes, but neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke, either. They just shared a soft gaze. Margeaux’s heart pounded in her chest as she let herself realize a single face: The connection they had shared years ago was still there. She felt it; it was undeniable. Maybe he felt it, too. 

Margeaux reached out, her fingers brushing against his arm, and she watched his shoulders tense as his breath hitched. For a moment, it seemed like time stood still. The world outside their small quiet room was forgotten, and Anthony was dropping to his knees. 

“There’s one last place I can check,” he whispered, his eyes not once leaving hers. 

Anthony’s hands reached out, taking hold of her hips carefully. His thumbs stroked over the soft cotton fabric, moving back and forth so slowly it was almost painful. 

Margeaux squirmed in place, pressing her thighs firm together before relaxing at the feeling of him dragging the fabric down her legs slowly. The fabric teased her skin on the way down, sending Margeaux’s head lulling back and her eyes fluttering shut. She could only feel him then, as the careful touch of his hands found her inner thighs. He stroked the skin carefully, as if he were still checking for ticks, but then she felt his hot breath. 

She felt his mouth. 

Margeaux gasped, his kiss hot as it worked its way so close to the apex that her legs trembled. Anthony braced her legs with the strength of his arms, keeping her upright. It was enough to make her whine as she reached out with both hands, her fingers finding his dark curls to knit into. 

The simple touch drew him in closer, his hot breath ghosting over her sweet heat just long enough for her core to clench before he was guiding each of her legs over his shoulders. He picked her up with such effortlessness, his face pressed against her pelvis and her belly as he carried her across the room and laid her out on her half made bed. 

Its soft impact had Margeaux's eyes shooting open, taking in the sight of the ceiling as Anthony kissed a burning trail up her body and into her view. He hovered over her for a moment, his own chin slick with saliva, before leaning in and kissing her in a way they never had as teenagers. 

They had been so young and inexperienced back then. So eager and impatient to kiss, and to fuck, that the only feeling was one of ecstasy. But they were older now, grown up in so many more ways than just physically. Which was why she moaned when he did something as simple as stoking her skin and gasped when she felt two fingers press against her clit. 

They moved in a slow circle as he kissed her, her body beginning to coil with the pleasure of his touch. Margeaux’s breasts heaved as she threw her head back into the pillows, her hands tugging blindly at the fabric of his shirt, and his short, that she wasn't going anywhere without his help. 

Anthony eased back, tugging his shirt free first and tossing it aside. His hand dropped to his shorts next, but Margeaux was sitting up, her mouth taking its own assault on his stomach and abs. She could feel his chuckle on her lips before it left his laced in his words, “lay back, Princess.”

She melted away from him like chocolate, her body sprawling out and legs spread as he shimmied off the bed and discarded his shorts on the floor. He was gone so long, Margeaux felt cold, but when he returned, she pulled him closer and closer just to stay warm. Legs intertwined, and her arms reached around him so her manicure could claw at the strength of his shoulders as he eased into her. Her gasp was swallowed by his kiss as his hips rolled. Margeaux met his every tender movement as he remembered exactly what she liked and discovered more. It left her trembling with the climax of her pleasure as his one hand reached to cradle the back of her neck. His thick fingers knitting in her blonde strands, drawing her forehead up to rest against his. It was his tell. He was about to come. Margeaux grinned, her core coaxing him to the very peak of his pleasure, his mouth left gaping with a silent moan. 

They were both left smiling when they were through, Margeaux’s hands reaching out to stroke through his sweaty curls. Anthony was still buried deep within her as he turned his head just enough to kiss the supple skin of her palm. He was sweet, too sweet, and Margeaux almost hated it. He hadn’t changed a bit in the seven years they were apart. Yet, there she lay, feeling like herself for the first time in a long time. 

It left her dizzy as he rolled out of bed, her body anchoring itself to the blankets beneath her as if merely being void from him was going to leave her floating away. She lay there in the bed, listening to Anthony as he moved about the room. Margeaux didn’t know exactly what he was doing. She didn’t think to look, but as he turned off the lights, she was sure he had to be collecting his things so he could leave. But the opening and closing of the door never came. Instead, it was the squeaking of the springs to meet her ears as he crawled into her bed. 

Margeaux cuddled close to him, her head on his chest as she looked at the wall across from them. She could see that the firelight had died. Their friends had turned in for the night. There was no bonfire for them to run back to. With no obligations, they lay there together in silence, avoiding any heavy conversation they could have had. They lay with their bodies intertwined, Anthony’s hand stroking up and down the length of her back slowly and Margeaux’s head resting on his chest. There, she listened to the steady rhythm of his heart, and it was the last thing she heard as she let herself drift off to sleep. 

Part Four.

The last morning at the cabin dawned with a bittersweet quiet. The sun cast a warm golden glow over the trees that cast sprawling shadows into the bedroom where Margeaux had regrettably spent most of her weekend. The first day she had isolated herself completely, spending day and night in the bedroom. The second day, she had let Carrie pressure her into the hike, and the second night she spent with Anthony. But waking up next to him, his warm skin still within her reach as the sun’s light shined down across his features left Margeaux wanting more. 

She wanted more time with her friends to take in the serene beauty of the forest that left her feeling like she was living in a dream. She wanted to learn how to chop up firewood, to forage or even to paddle board if she was feeling bold enough. But most of all, she wanted to spend time with Anthony. To continue playing her little game of what if they hadn’t grown apart all those years ago…

What if she had followed him to New York?

Would they have gotten married?

What if she had reached out when he had been traded to Vancouver? 

Would she have been the cheater instead of the one who had been cheated on?

What if they didn’t have to say goodbye? 

Would he even message her back if she tried?

Margeaux shut her eyes tight, fighting back the tears that began to build. She had come out there for answers, but she seemed to be leaving with even more. Yet, Margeaux answered the most important one she had: What comes next for me? 

The answer was that Margeaux didn’t know what would be next. There was no way for her to tell. Whatever she could imagine happening would be faced by too many unknowns caused by chance or by fate, would alter her course. There would always be a path she didn’t take. 

Margeaux let her tears fall in hot streams that lead down to the corners of her relieved smile. She tasted the salt of her tears with her tongue as she licked them away, only for the palms of her hands to come up to finish the job. 

Anthony rolled over in bed next to her, his hand coming down on her shoulder gently as he spoke, his voice heavy with concern, “hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Margeaux nodded, “I’m okay.”

They lay there for a moment, the silence heavy. Neither of them spoke, Anthony’s mouth on Margeaux’s shoulder just breathing in the very scent of her. And Margeaux hid her face in the pillows, her eyes shut tight and her chest aching. She wasn’t ready to leave - she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

But then, Carrie took the moment she had to do it away from her. She came bursting through the door with little care as to what Margeaux was doing. Eyes on her phone, Carrie was talking before she could even look at Margeaux and Anthony, who nobody knew she had taken to bed, “get up bitch,” she said endearingly. “It’s time to go home. Oh, and I have this for you, consider it a reward for playing nice with Anthony all weekend for me.”

She reached into the pocket of her daisy dukes and drew out Margeaux's phone. Carrie tossed it towards the bed, and her eyes following its course right to where it landed at Anthony's feet. 

“Oh, fuck!” she stumbled back as she shrieked, “I’m so - fuck - sorry!” 

“I’ll be right down!” Margeaux called out after her, her own voice weak with embarrassment. 

Margeaux hadn’t planned on being caught. 

Stumbling out of bed, Margeaux grabbed the clothes that were lost on the floor the night before, and shoved them into her never unpacked bag. She rummaged through it, grabbing a pale yellow sundress and polling it over her bare body. Then Margeaux did something she would quickly regret. She expertly grabbed every single one of her bags and left without even a glance. 

It wasn’t until she was standing at the trunk of the car, yet again in the predicament of trying to make everything fit, that Margeaux looked back at the cabin. She wore a soft smile, thankful that Carrie had convinced her to come, and it only grew as Anthony stumbled out onto the deck in nothing more than the same pair of shorts he had worn the night before. He hadn’t even stopped to put on shoes, which Margeaux was sure he regretted the moment his feet hit the gravel driveway. But that didn’t stop him from walking straight down the driveway to her. 

He stood close enough that she could feel the warmth of his body, and smell the familiar scent of him without it having to get caught in the breeze. The air between them was thick with both humidity and the words left unspoken - anything they wanted to say, they had to say it now.

Finally, Anthony was the one to break the silence. “You all packed up?”

Margeaux almost winced. They had always had an effortlessness about them, but for the first time, it was as if neither of them knew what to say. 

“Yeah, just have to work the last suitcase in,” Margeaux gestured to the car before crossing both arms over her chest. 

There was another pause, filled by the rustle of leaves, the clamor of suitcases as they fell out of the trunk, and Carrie’s string of curses as she was left to play Tetris with the suitcases again. Anthony glances at her, trying to hide a smile as he leaned in one step closer to Margeaux and slipped his hand into his pocket. When he pulled it out, he was grinning ear to ear. “Well, I think you forgot this.”

Margeaux looked down, her face going bright red at the sight of her panties in his hand. “Anthony!” she spoke in a hushed whisper as both hands went to him. She pushed them back down, hiding the light cotton fabric back in his pocket. She let them fall there, loose in the fabric of his pocket, and pulled his hand free to hold. 

“I’ve had enough embarrassment for one day,” she smiled. 

Anthony laughed. Then he smiled as he spoke again, changing the subject as he did, “I’m glad you came… And I’m glad we got to spend some time together.”

Margeaux felt a heavy lump form in the back of her throat. One that she swallowed back with her smile. “Me too. It’s been… it’s been really good for me.”

Anthony took away the remaining space between them and captured her in a tight embrace. His arms were strong and comforting around her, and as much as she should have pulled away, Margeaux let herself sink into the hug. She held him, knowing that it very well may be the last time. She closed her eyes, trying to take a mental picture of the feeling of him, and listened to the steady beat of his heart harmonizing with hers. 

“Thank you Anthony,” her voice trembled as she buried her face into her neck, “for helping me find myself again.”

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. Nothing he could say could mean as more to her than what he had done for her in the limited number of hours they got to be with one another, and he knew that. She knew he did. She could feel it in how he held her tighter, in how his hand so gently stroked through her messy blond hair and down the length of her back. And when they finally pulled back, she could see it in his eyes, too. His gaze was soft and his eyes bright, but the smile he gave her didn’t reach his eyes. 

Maybe he was feeling the same heaviness in his chest too–maybe he didn’t want to say goodbye…

“Take care of yourself, Margeaux,” he told her softly. 

“I will,” she promised, her voice heavy with the emotion she choked to the very back of her throat, “you too–and good luck next season, wherever you end up.”

Anthony nodded, and for a moment looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. Instead, he reached out with one arm and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered there against her skin for a moment, a soft barely there touch before he pulled back and smiled a little wider. This time, Margeaux saw it reach his eyes as he gave her one last lingering look before he turned and walked back up the steps, leaving Margeaux standing by the car as the trunk came down in a sudden thud as Carrie closed it. 

Margeaux jumped in place, her hand lurching to rest over her heart. It raced hard, pounding against the inside of her ribcage as her head snapped to look at her best friend. Carrie was grinning widely, devilishly. “Sorry, did I kill the moment?”

“Moment?” Margeaux’s voice broke. “What moment?”

Did she mean the moment she watched Anthony go, her chest heavy with the weight of their goodbye? Or the part of her that stood there, waiting to see if she herself would call out to him to extend their reconnection beyond their brief reunion in the forest. 

Either way, Margeaux would deny it all if Carrie asked, because she couldn’t even be honest with herself. It was easier that way. She wasn’t ready for another relationship, not now, not so soon after everything that happened. And Anthony? He was a comfort, a reminder of who she used to be when things were simpler, when love was just about date nights at the movies and the fairy tale worlds they thought would come after highschool. 

But so much time had passed, and as much as she still loved him, and always would, they would never be what they once were. Surely, they have changed too much, and the paths they were on led in different directions. 

“You got everything packed up?” Margeaux asked Carrie with a smile, “I need to get out of here. I don’t think I could survive another mosquito bite.”

“Yeah,” Carrie smiled as she moved to stand by the driver’s side, “so get your ass in the car and start a playlist.”

Margeaux's heart jolted with excitement. Her phone! She had her phone! Reaching into her back pocket, Margeaux brought her phone to life with the long hold of the power button. Carrie had kept the battery charged, and for that Margeaux was thankful. The itch to check her social media consumed her body as she got into the passenger’s seat, with Charlotte and Samantha both seated behind her. Instead, she opened her Spotify, put on Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan, and it became their soundtrack as the car pulled out of the drive. She dropped the phone to her lap as she moved along with the music in her seat. 

The buttons hit her lap just right, taking a screen capture of her playlist. Instead of letting it be, Margeaux picked up her phone and went to her gallery to remove it. It was there she saw pictures she had never known were being taken. A collection that started from the moment she had arrived at the cabin, right down to the very moment Anthony had taken her inside the night before to check her for ticks. Carrie had captured every little moment, and Margeaux hadn’t noticed, not even once. 

Margeaux’s lips parted in a wavering breath as she looked at Carrie in the driver’s seat. She was wearing a cheeky grin. 

“Thank you,” Margeaux smiled. 

“You’d do the same for me,” Carrie blew her a kiss playfully, “besides, it’s the least I could do for dragging you out to my booty call and actually getting laid!”

The girls in the back hollered. Samantha even reached around the passenger’s seat and nudged her playfully. But Margeaux paid no mind to it all. Instead, her eyes had found the rearview mirror, and watched as Anthony and the cabin grew smaller and smaller in the rearview until it was nothing more than photos on a screen.  

She had gone to the cabin with her heart broken, but as they drove away, she felt something new. A quiet strength, a sense of peace - she was healing, and it was because of Anthony. Smiling, Margeaux rested her head on the cool glass of the window, tilted just right to have the air conditioning hit her face just right and she put together a playlist that would carry them back home. To the city where she would forge her next path alone and Margeaux, she was ready to embrace it. 

TAGLIST: @equallyshaw , @mp0625 , @charles11700 , @swissboyhisch , @wingedwheelprxncess , @luvmarner , @fandomrejects , @misunderstoodwerewolf , @callsign-denmark , @puckmaidens , @cixrosie , @starshine-hockey-girl

[boatemlag]

Hi I read your gift fic to Bee and I am soooooooooo wondering about the funerary rites of every empire pls tell me about them

[ID: Ask from erstwhilesparrow that says, "[staggers out of ao3 shaking slightly] okay so obviously now i have to ask you for your thoughts on empires funerary practices!! stares at you with big pleading eyes. share thoughts?" /end ID]

HI!!!! im so glad you asked >:) a lot of this is in my brain but this was the initial note for the concept for the gift fic so you see where i'm coming from

[Text ID: A screenshot of an iPhone notes app bullet point that says: "2. 2. mezalea and complicated system of rebirth and reincarnation-> no sense of grieving funerals? joel has never had to grieve because hes inorganic. clay structures dont die. interested in the connection between golems in judaism and clay constructs in mezalea" /end ID]

my basic concept with mezalea was ultimately that because constructs dont die (joel was made by the mother tree, and in turn made the mezaleans in his image? something like that) they cant properly die? and if they do die their friends and family or joel himself can reinstate them, and theres ritual for that, but its a thing that is ultimately for inorganics. and its not really akin to a funeral.

more under the cut, separated by nation! ones mentioned in the fic first!

mythland: for mythland i was inspired by this story i heard from a classmate of a funeral he attended in his father's hometown in china where they walked from the morgue to the cemetery and it took like multiple hours and they were singing funeral songs and prayers and such and then still had a ceremony at the cemetery. i had an image in my mind of the rain falling through the dark oak leaves and sausage dressed in the robes of a king even though he is so small (way too small for him) and the robes really are wearing him, and the hours upon hours of walking through the streets of mythland to the royal cemetery with hundreds of mythic citizens behind them singing mourning songs and the toll that takes on a boy too young to be king... yes. delicious. after the blood sheep religion is revived, these ceremonies involved ritual animal sacrifice.

gilded helianthia: i really like the idea of helianthians being people of the earth, and not having huge ceremonies for their funerals. people coming from the earth and going back to the earth. planting their favorite plants in their resting place. this one is pretty self explanatory i think? and its a very logical extension of helianthia's values. the bonfire is something i think is very common in surrounding areas of bordering nations.

pixandria: pixandria is, i think, the only canon depiction we have of funerals? its kind of obvious to say "The Vigil" but like. the Vigil. im also a big fan of the idea of something similar to an ofrenda being common, visiting the memorials of lost loved ones. i also think corpses dont preserve well in the desert so cremation is very common. the body is not considered very sacred and its the soul that has to be memorialized.

rivendell: i spend so much time thinking about these goddamn elves its not even FUNNYY!!!!!! religious schisms make me SICK!!!!!! in the head. anyway. i think cremation used to be very very common in rivendell because in the cold of the mountains bodies decompose very very slowly. but after the schism fire is considered weirdly sacrilegious when it comes to rituals, so they sort of have shirked the cremation part of the ritual. theyve always had wakes i think, and theyve replaced cremation with a complex catacomb type situation. elves also dont die super often? so there are centuries of elves buried beneath the mountains but its not like. that many. comparatively. elves consider it important to see the corpses of their loved ones as part of the grieving process and its an egregious crime to desecrate a corpse or modify the body in any way, even back in the days of cremation.

cod empire/codlands: funerals are VERY important in codish culture because the swamp conditions mean uhhh bog bodies are very possible. and thats considered sacrilegious because the only preserved body allowed is the cod head lmao. its a religious symbol as well as a theocratic symbol. that being said, there are a plethora of ways cod folk prefer to care for their dead. for those who are closer in heritage to oceanic peoples, its very common to feed corpses to fish (livestock) and hold a ceremony during then. for those with mythic heritage (before the ravine and erection of the walls of codlands and mythland) funeral processions were very common, though usually taken out to sea. these are just a few of the types of funerary ceremonies the codfolk use.

ocean empire: as mentioned in the previous section, oceanic rituals often involve feeding bodies to the fishy livestock as a funeral ritual. other than that, more land-living oceanic citizens do something akin to a "viking funeral" where flaming rafts are sent out to sea

lost empire: heh. so theres two main things here: pre and post xornoth. the folks of the lost empire used to bury their dead in large clearings dedicated as cemeteries. for more important people in society they constructed tombs all connected by underground tunnels. post-xornoth, cremation was added as a common custom. this was obviously short lived for the empire.

house blossom/the overgrown: similar to gilded helianthia, except instead of the land around, citizens are buried with seeds on their being, to be used as nutrients for the large wild flowers. post burial rituals include several days of merriment and mourning, and i like the idea that bonfires are also common here.

the grimlands: i really like the idea of public burial in the fields outside of the main capital of the grimlands. there are pretty large cemeteries that are multilayered. the tradition has a common ancestor with the lost empire's tradition.

crystal cliffs: I REALLY LIKE THE IDEA OF LIKE. magic being involved in some way. perhaps the crystallization of famous witches and wizards and sorcerers immortalized in amethyst, deep beneath the mountains. because the crystal cliffs is run by the headmaster or headmistress at the time i think the general burial rights actually depend on the nation of origin or wishes of the individual. crystal cliffs is very much a nation of various peoples because anyone can attend.

the undergrove: the burial rights of the gnomes is a dying secret. because there are very few gnomes left, the decimation of the population has erased former traditions in the face of cremation to eliminate chance of Corruption. it used to be something else, but that knowledge is lost to time.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up Episode 0: Getting to Know the Boys Part 1: Team AllRound

Hey, friends! I’m struggling with writing the recap for episode one of Build Up on MNET because I want to stop and give you the background on everyone, which makes the recap really hard to follow. So I figure I’ll spend some time giving you their backgrounds in four separate posts, to help you get to know the guys. I mention things like where else you may have seen them, if they're in an idol group, who knows who, etc, as well as my opinion of their voice based on their teaser performance. I think it’ll make the recaps easier, both to read and to write. In this first post of four, I’ll be talking about the twelve contestants who chose to join the “Allround” category, as opposed to “Soul”, “Power”, or “Unique.” Let’s go!

Before we go on, I just want to let you know that I’ll sharing my informed opinion on their singing voices. I am going to be a little bit harder on them than I am on singers on Boys Planet, with the understanding that these are all great vocalists. We’re looking for the S+ tier guys amongst a group that is A tier at worst. So if I say anything a bit negative about a fave of yours, understand that I’m not saying that he’s a bad singer! Every guy here is an excellent singer. Cool? Cool! 

I also have to apologize, but most of my screenshots are going to be pretty awkward. The video I'm watching makes it really hard to use because every time you pause it, it opens all sorts of porny popups. When it's paused, it has a huge pause symbol in the middle of the picture. So I have to try to take screen shots while it's in motion. It's not easy! Hope you understand.

Also, I have even less time than usual to proofread these posts, so please forgive me for my inevitable typos. <3 Thank you!

Choi Suhwan

Suhwan is currently a soloist. He’s released a few digital singles, none of which have really taken off, unfortunately. You might remember him from ProduceX 101, where he made it to episode 11, so the final cut before the finale, finishing in 28th place. Pretty good!

He was V17, doing a cover of Energetic by Wanna One. I wasn’t blown away by that performance -- it sounded a little processed, and I wasn’t completely sure it was live --  so I sought out another one. Here’s a live performance of his song Losing Sleep. Unfortunately, in this performance, I found his voice a little too nasal and affected to be to my taste, and he had serious issues with his upper mix. He’s not a terrible singer, but there are a lot of stronger singers on this show. Or maybe I’m wrong and he’ll do better next time. Fighting! 

Bitsaeon

Bitsaeon is 28, and is the main vocalist from M.O.N.T. He seems to have a predilection for soft fuzzy sweaters. He was V36, singing Rose Blossom by H1-Key, and all I wrote down in my notes was “this is just a really nice voice.” I just really liked it. Clean, smooth, easy to listen to.

I think this performance of Creep by Radiohead shows both what I like and what I don’t like as much about his performances. He does a lot of this soft whisper singing in his covers, which seems like a waste of what he can do. I love his full belts -- they’re so good. I want to hear him sing full-on more often in songs, like he did with Rose Blossom.  

M.O.N.T. has a whole complicated dealie that I just don’t have the energy to figure out -- the wikipedia page explains some of it. They’re mainly a three member group, with a leader, a rapper, and a main vocal. They haven’t put out any singles in a while, so I’m not sure what’s going on with them. 

Incidentally, Bitsaeon almost certain knows Jay reasonably well. Jay was involved in this thing called MONT Arena that was supposed to collect more members for MONT, so along the way I’m sure they met. In fact, Jay is still signed to the same agency as them (along with a few other agencies).

Seunghun

Seunghun is 24 and a member of CIX. His teaser song was V01, Rain by Paul Kim, and his performance was kind of… not my favorite. He sounded at times almost like he had a cold, and at other times I’m pretty sure he went off key -- I don’t know the song so I can’t be sure but it sounded off. He showed a lack of agility on one of his vocal runs, which means that as he tried to sing a lot of different notes all in a row, he had trouble transitioning from note to note quickly and hitting them all neatly. He had to switch awkwardly to falsetto to hit a single high note in the middle of a line, which is kind of not the goal. I think he may just have been nervous or having an off day. 

Seunghun also competed on YG Treasure Box, which I didn’t watch, but maybe you did. 

Let’s talk about CIX, baby! (Ok, that joke relies on you pronouncing it “six” but it’s really pronounced “see-eye-ex,” if you read the hangul). 

CIX is a five-member group under C9 entertainment, which is also the home to Cignature and Epex. CIX features Wanna One’s Bae Jinyoung, who is the center and face of the group. As sometimes happens in cases like this, the member who was in the big Produce group is famous and attracts stans, while sometimes the rest of the group just doesn’t get as much love, and the group as a whole suffers. See also: Gugudan, Weki Meki. However, CIX does ok. Per genius.com, “The group has released several Top 10 albums in South Korea, including Hello Chapter Ø: Hello, Strange Dream which gave them their first chart-topper in the country. The group’s singles have also consistently landed in the Circle Music chart.” So CIX is a little bit closer to say, IVE than it is to, say, Weki Meki. 

Personally, I like CIX -- I think the members are talented --  but I don’t love all their songs. However, their song Cinema is so smooth and lovely, it’s like a glass of orange-peach juice for your soul, and that’s in great measure because of their smooth vocals. (Seunghun is the one with the blue hair in that clip, if you want to watch it.) In fact, this is the song I wanted to listen to in the car on the way to the hospital to have surgery a year or two ago when I was feeling pretty scared. My fella said, “This is nice. I like this.” So if you never heard it, give it a chance. I’m looking forward to getting to know Seunghun a bit better and seeing him on a better day.  

Yeo One

Yeo One is 28, and is a lead vocalist for Pentagon. I don’t have to tell you about Pentagon, right? Another excellent group who lost a member and whose popularity has ebbed and flowed. If you watched Boys Planet, you know about Hui, and you know that I like Pentagon a lot! 

Yeo One left Cube Entertainment just a few months ago, in October of 2023, along with several other members of Pentagon, so though Pentagon hasn’t disbanded, their further activities will be a bit tricky. He had a sold-out solo concert recently, and was profiled in Rolling Stone Korea, so he’s doing ok for a recently solo artist. Yeo One is a lead vocalist of Pentagon, not one of their two main vocalist, and on kprofiles, he actually ranks in last place in the popularity poll. He often would be given pretty brief lines in most Pentagon songs. But we will get to know him and get to love him on this show, right, team? 

He performed a ballad for his teaser (V40) and all I wrote in my note to myself is “I hate songs like this so much I almost can’t think straight.” So, instead, I found this little song that apparently he wrote and performed himself -- it’s light and charming. It sounds like a guy sitting by the fire making up a song on guitar and singing it to himself. He’s not a super skilled vocalist from what I’ve heard thus far, not a powerhouse like Hui, but he has a charming vocal color and is just sort of a generally a lovable dude.  

Hwang Inhyuk

Inhyeock / Inhyuk (I’ve seen it transliterated both ways -- both would be 인혁 in Hangul) is 26 and is apparently both a soloist and a member of a vocal group called Unison. Unfortunately, I can’t find anything about them since there’s also a Japanese group called “Unison Square Garden” and when you search “Korean vocal group unison” all you get is information about K-pop songs sung in unison, so…. Yeah. Inhyuk is also a composer and lyricist, and has competed on I Can See Your Voice (I’m not sure which season) and Sing for Gold. 

He was V29 and performed a song called The First Day. Again, my perspective is skewed because it’s another feckin’ ballad and no thank you. The opening section when he’s singing in a soft, almost gruff voice is really charming, though. It’s so different from what you’d expect from his appearance and general demeanor. He has a really distinct vocal color, and I think he should have chosen “unique” rather than “allround.” Once he heads into the chorus, which requires belting some higher notes, his voice falters a bit. I just get that feeling that maybe he can do better than what he showed in this teaser. Maybe he wasn’t warmed up properly, or maybe he had a bit of a cold, something like that. The potential is there and I sense training was involved. I’m going to keep an open mind about him. 

Geonu

Geonu is from Just B and is 22. In addition to going on I-land, he also went on a show called Dancing High, which also featured Seo Won who you may remember from Boys Planet. God, there are so many of these shows. I kind of remember Geonu from I-land, where he did pretty well, making it close to the end. It’s kind of a shame that he didn’t make it into Enhypen since Enhypen is definitely short on vocalists. 

If you want to check out one of Geonu’s previous performances, here he is doing a duet performance of BTS’s Butterfly on I-land with Heesung (who did go on to debut in Enhypen). 

Geonu has gotten a bit better since then; here is his audition for this show, where he was V10. 

His upper mixed register has gotten stronger and a lot less breathy compared to when he was on I-land, but he seems to have developed an unpleasant nasality. Maybe being on this show will spur him to adjust his methodology. He has a really pleasant vocal color and a lot of potential. 

(I discuss Just B in Bain’s write up.) 

Jang Intae

Per my online sleuthing, Intae, age 27, is a singer-songwriter and is one half of the duo 415. (Their group is named for the fact that both members were born on April 15th, 1997.) 415 has put out seven digital singles and performed a few OSTs, but their MVs generally get fewer than 10,000 views. I think his general style and vibe isn’t what I personally look for in a musician -- it’s a bit too “acoustic lite” -- but I bet a lot of people would like what he and his duo partner do, if people gave them a chance. 

His teaser performance, V37, was Missing You by BTOB (a song performed on Girls Planet 999, if it sounds familiar to you -- a member of BTOB is on this show's judging panel). It started off really nasal, but got a bit better as it went along. He strained a bit on the high notes, unfortunately. It wasn’t the best performance, but I’m not going to condemn him for 90 seconds of imperfect singing. I hope that as I see more from him, he gets to show more of what he can do.

Jeong Yoonseo

Jeong Yoonseo is a trainee, and little info is available about him. He’s V32, performing Starlight by Taeil. There are a lot of background vocals -- I think there’s a guide track behind him the whole time! -- so it’s hard to pick out his pure voice. It sounds nice from what I can hear.  That’s kind of all I got! (Side note -- I’ve seen his name listed as Jang, not Jeong, but if you read the hangul, it’s Jeong, so IDK.) 

Hong Seongjun

Seongjun is 24 and is (was?) a member of a group called BDC, a three member group under Brandnew Music that debuted in the latter end of the pandemic, in September 2020. All three members had been on ProduceX 101. Seongun himself was eliminated in 51st place. They put out several comebacks but never really caught on.

On their kprofiles page, it says “On August 18, 2023, BRANDNEW MUSIC officially announced that BDC will end all official promotions as artists under the company on August 26, 2023, after they mutually decided to end their contracts. Thereafter, the group have been active in Japan and have a fan meeting planned in Korea on December 3, 2023.” I’m not sure what to make of that, but it doesn’t sound great obviously. 

I went to check out their M/Vs and remembered that I had actually listened to Moon Rider for a few months there at some point. Pretty decent song, but it got only 3.6 million views. I think it’s just kind of tough for three member groups. 

He was V27 and sang a chipper acoustic little song by 10cm. For me, him having such heavy backup vocals for so much of the song kind of makes me wonder, why would you do that?  It’s the same thing as the situation with Yoonseo. Isn’t the point to show their vocals? That said, this was a pleasant enough performance -- clean and sweet, with decent agility in some of the runs -- but not something I’m dying to listen to over and over. I think he didn’t really understand the assignment and chose something that would be nice to perform with people watching you, instead of something to sing in the dark.

Jeong Inseong

Inseong is 29 and is main vocal of a group called KNK. 

He was V06, performing a song called Letting Go by Day6. I looked it up and this song came out on March 28, 2016 -- just a few weeks after Lim Junhyeok had to leave that group. It being called “Letting Go” is a bit… pointed. Kind of like when f(x) did a song called Four Walls as their first comeback (and last) as a four-member group. Anyway… I really liked this. I just wrote in my notes, “ooh, likey.” This is just so good, I don’t even know how to pick it apart. It’s just a combination of stellar technique and smooth natural vocal color. He does have to go into falsetto to hit a super high note, but he transitions almost instantly. This is good stuff. 

KNK debuted in 2016 as a 5 member group. They left their first agency in 2018 but continued as a group at a new agency, losing one member and gaining a new one. Over the last few years, two more members have quit and one more joined, leaving four in the group as of now. 

Their most recent single, Ride, came out in September 2020 and currently has about 1.7 million views on Youtube. It’s so easy to tell when Inseong is singing -- it’s like when Kihyun sings in MonstaX and you’re just like YES, come THROUGH. I threw Ride on my playlist just so I can hear more Inseong. 

Inseong has been in a bunch of music shows, and also participated in Mixnine, so he may know the other Mixnine contestants, Ma Jaekhyung from Romeo and Donghun from A.C.E. However, he had to withdraw early from the show, so maybe not. 

If you want more Inseong, here’s a fun duet he does with the “Korean Madonna,” Kim Wanseon. 

Taehwan

Taehwan, 30, is the leader and main vocalist of Vanner, and was V13, singing Goodbye by Park Hyo Shin. You probably know by now that I’m not much of a ballad girl, but at least this is sung simply, with a really warm, textured voice. He does sound really pinched on the higher notes, like his throat is closing, and he gets a bit nasal at times, as well. In my opinion, he lacks technique, but has a lot of natural talent. He also has a great smile. 

Vanner is a five member group that debuted in 2019. They had a lot of support as they debuted, and even got significant crowdfunding. They went on Peaktime, as did many other lesser known groups -- and they won! Good for Vanner. Their most recent EP charted very well overseas. Their song Performer, released five months ago, has 8.7 million views on Youtube, and their song Jackpot, released on Jan 30, 2024, already had almost 4 million views at the time of writing, an incredible performance for less than a week. So it looks like Vanner is really starting to take off.

Taehwan may have met Ma Jaekyung, Bitsaeon, and Hong Seongjun when they competed on Peak Time.

Ji Yeonwoo

Yeonwoo is another trainee I just don’t know much about. Apparently he went on a show called Wild Idol, which I haven’t seen. But I do know that his teaser song, V24, Suffer by Charlie Puth, was great. A great combination of a song I actually liked and a voice I really liked. He has great agility, leaping up into falsetto and back down again. He does get a bit pinched sometimes on higher notes, but for whatever reason, it doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s just I’m so glad it’s not a ballad!

Ok, that’s enough for now. I’ll see you in the next one, when I tackle Team Soul, featuring everyone’s favorite. You know who I mean.

[igotsnothing]

I would love to see your backstage of making your vampire story <3 how you take your photos, chose perspectives, plan dialogues. please tell about your process

Hello, Friend of Mystery!!

Happy New Year and thank you for this ask! I'm a very small-time simmer in this corner of the interwebz filled with really talented and artistic simblrs, so I appreciate the question and interest!

Now, backstage! The method to the madness!

I usually have an idea: it's a loose- general idea of the direction and mood of the plot and dialogue. I don't like to be too specific unless I have a clear pose in mind for a scene. The thought process might be something like, "Lawrence and Julian are going to have a talk about vampires and technology in this scene, but act flirty with each other while they do so."

I go into the game to organize the setting and choose outfits/props. MCCC and Wonderful Whims are game-changers for posing. I'm a terrible builder, so I end up spending a lot of time browsing the gallery or searching for builds and objects by skilled folks. That part is often fun. Imagining the potential of lots and cc is a big part of gaining admission to the mental asylum expressing creativity in this game! Depending on the story I am working on, I may have mods like Underworld running to make sure it always looks like nighttime in my environments.

I use Reshade. It saves me time when editing and gives the images lovely depth, shading, and coloring that otherwise isn't there. I use different presets that I screw around with and tweak, but some favorites are Marigold and Senshi 4.0. Shadows and lighting are super important and can make or break a scene.

Once I have my image, I'll tweak it in Photoshop. Thanks to Reshade, it's usually just to quickly fix something, like clipping or rough edges.

I use Canva to organize my stories and write in the dialogue, but that's always dangerous because my inner middle-schooler wants to unleash a million stickers everywhere and ruin the edits. Ask me how many times I've stuck googly eyes on Lawrence and cackled at my own idiocy ingenuity!

I write while I am taking pictures. The sequence is: pose, take the picture, edit the image, write, and on to the next scene. I used to take all the images first and write afterward but found that sometimes a pose or screenshot would unexpectedly convey a different take on an idea, reaction, or character- or even inspire a different direction for the dialogue in a scene. It's easier for me to adapt the dialogue to an image than vice versa. I feel that writing as I go, while my game is open and ready gives me more flexibility and freedom to make changes.

???

Profit!

Ok, now-sorry- for real. I download everything, usually save it as a draft, wait a bit to see if I catch any big mistakes, and then post.

I actually struggle with serious self-doubt and a really mean inner critic, so posting here has been an exercise in self-acceptance. Still, I often avoid checking the notifications for a while after I post because I am that nervous. But I'm happier for sharing my stuff rather than not since I have had the chance to connect with so many fun and talented people here!

That's it!

Thank you for the ask on this first day of the year! It made me super happy! All the best to you!! ❤️

[archandshri]

12 April ‘24 - [arch] Making a Comic in a Week, Disability and Burnout (all unrelated, of course!)

Hey Shri and folks!! LOVED seeing part three of the Lionheart Brothers cover. Stunning!! And awesome to see your process. Also cool to see what you’ve been looking at lately - I’ve just finished a rewatch of Firefly and the characters are still living in my brain a bit. 

Life is a bit relentless, huh. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on disability stuff - meal prepping, sorting silly government forms, all that sort of thing. Exhausting and super easy to burn out on - but also sets me up for the future in my personal life and for illustration! I want to discuss the balance of pushing and burnout this week with an excellent example - I tried foreshadowing to make a comic in a week. 

When I was in uni, it was easy to create cool stuff regularly - you’re constantly receiving prompts, doing activities, getting feedback etc. I still have access to these things, especially through my shared studio community, but it’s not as easy as it used to be. I miss creating finished books, in particular, so frequently. So! I challenged myself to make a comic in time for Something’s Fishy Zine Fair in Plymouth tomorrow, which was just over a week from when I started.

I had come up with the concept for the comic while travelling, written the script and done a couple of sketches. I often come up with concepts while travelling - I just don’t often follow through :P Here’s a couple of sketches I did on the journey.

I’ve been chatting to lots of people about what they enjoy about art - I’ve noticed that I tend to crave the end of the project and having the physical thing with high expectations of myself, which doesn’t lead to a very enjoyable process. Many people I’ve spoken to enjoy the ‘zone’, the focus of the project where you’re just figuring stuff out and not thinking about anything else. Bearing this in mind, I wanted to make the process as fun as possible - this comic is for fun and not for the purpose of having the thing at the end. 

I started with a few development sketches of the characters and the vibe. I used ink and my funky kakimori dip pen, plus some brushes. These mediums are hard to control, which makes them good for development for me - they don’t have to be good, this time is for gestural drawings and ideas generation. Some continued doodles in my sketchbook from some downtime :) Fish wouldn't leave my brain.

After a bit of character development, I began by adapting my script into pages - I read the script and try to feel the vibes on how I want to pace the comic, considering:

How much dialogue and plot do I want to put on one page?

Do I want it to be more text or image-heavy?

Do I want it to feel fast and snappy, or slow and dreamy?

Which parts of dialogue feel like a page-turner?

Are there any twists that should be separated from the rest of the scene by a page-turn?

Are there any moments that should sit next to each other on spreads?

You can see me changing some dialogue around, writing as I draw a bit. Also playing around with some weird looking fish?? With noses???

I got a bit stuck at this stage. I was scared my script wasn’t good enough. And worried about if I could even draw fish. After a couple of chats with art friends, and some rambling in my slides, I reminded myself that the lesson this time is fun!! Have fun goddamn it!! No point doing it if you’re not having fun. (it’s not like we make any money from riso printed zines anyway)

Screenshots from my slides - these things are wonderful for gathering inspiration and venting when you run into a problem with the project.

So I decided to just go for it. Not even thumbnail, but just take a scene and draw it. I asked a studio friend to choose a number, and I drew that scene.

Because of the chatty style of the comic, and how much dialogue there was gonna be, I knew there would have to be a LOT of panels. I decided to make it A4, and use a 8x6 grid. I’ll draw the images at A3, and than scale them down to A4 when it comes to printing.

left: A3 grid on the lightbox, for tracing over || Right: A4 grid with boxes of different sizes for me to reference while choosing the layout - this way I can see the final print size

First drafts of a couple of random pages from Moon Noodles.

The first day I drew several pages that I was really happy with! It gave me a lot more confidence in my script - seeing it come to life with the characters on the page - some pages even got some laughs which was nice. I would look at the page plan, script, and spend a few minutes thinking about the pacing and how I wanted the dialogue on the page, and the go straight in with the dip pen - with the awareness that it might be wrong. This process taught me an important lesson - you have to just do it. The thing is, if you do it and it’s bad, you just do it again but different. Repeat. Staring at that script thinking it wasn’t good enough wasn’t actually going to get anything done, be fun OR make nice stuff. You have to do the thing. Then you make it better.

The other thing I learnt from this process was to give it space. There was a day where I did one page, hated it and thought the pacing was off, and spent the next day trying to translate it into two pages. It didn’t work. I came back the next day and realised the first page I’d done was fine and just needed a couple of tweaks. Do the thing. Let it be.

Here’s a little picture of my setup.

(Sorry all of Printhaus for hoarding the light box and getting ink all over it :( love u)

Useful stuff!!!!

Finished pages to refer to, plus more A3 paper underneath for future pages

Laptop with script

Dip pen, ink and water for keeping that little guy clean!

development sketches for relevant scenes

Page plan (you can see I have shortened it considerably since last time - now it's 20-24 pages and noted on scraps of paper so I can move them around if there's any changes of plan)

A4 sheet with boxes to show the sizes of the final print

also scissors??? i don't remember why they're here

But then monday morning came. I realised that if I wanted to get it all printed by friday, I needed to:

Plan and 12 pages on Monday, and 12 on tuesday

Get the final files for every one of the 24 pages by Thursday 

Print friday morning

Travel down to devon Friday afternoon

Fair Saturday

Not only is that basically impossible, but it would be very bad for my health, make for a rushed comic, and most importantly, not be fun. The thing is, I’ve made whole comics in a couple days before. I figured I could still do it. But that’s not actually a good thing - my skills and taste have increased, I'm aiming for bigger, more ambitious projects and yet I expect the timelines to stay the same? It doesn’t exactly work like that now, does it?

But I kept going anyway. 

Tuesday morning, I decide to get the cover put together so I can get the preorder post-out. I get pulled into an unexpected meeting, and then spend the rest of the day inking this thing and getting the files sorted. At this point, I know for sure It’s not possible to get this done. Thankfully my two Printhaus besties were in. They helped me drop it. I love this comic, it feels fun and joyous and I’ve enjoyed working on it - lets not rush it and end up with a bad product that will bother me. Let’s take time, explore it and really enjoy the process!!!

All is not lost for Something’s Fishy Zine Fair, though! Originally, I had planned to do a print of the Moon Noodles Cover for preorders only, but why not print that for Something’s Fishy?? Anyone who buys the print will also get a discount code for the pre-order :D (also here’s the pre-order link)

So here’s a few images of the Moon Noodles cover print and the process!! I hope to see some of you at Something’s Fishy. It’s a joy to visit Plym again :D

Sketch printed out at A3, and 2 of the layers. I scanned these in and edited them on photoshop to get the files ready to print.

Coming to terms with the fact that 1) I don’t have illustration superpowers even if my expectations are that high and 2) I’m disabled (yes it’s been years and it’s still hard to face) is really hard!! I need to spend most of my time when I’m well preparing for when I’m not AND fight the urge to work until I burn out, which I always lean towards because it’s nice escapism. 

The thing is that living, and not being too exhausted to move is much more important than a comic. And if I am gonna spend my functioning time making comics, they’re gonna have to be enjoyable to make. Otherwise your life slips away from you and you haven’t been really living it.

Hope that hasn’t got too deep for you. I think that stuff is important to face, especially since the creative life is so incredibly busy.

Thank you for reading this goddamn essay, I hope that it helped in some way! As usual, feel free to drop an ask if you have any questions. 

Chat soon :D Archie <3

[blakbonnet]

I was tagged by Jams @not-nervous-jester to share my writing process so here you go, I'm sorry but this will get a bit long and it'll not be proofread cause life's too short (and my laptop has 4% battery left) 🙃

Do you write in order?

Yes and No. I start off any writing project (whether it be fanfic or work) with a detailed outline of the major plot points. I do the endings first more often than not when I'm planning a fic, then the middle, and finally, once those are out of the way, then I'll tackle the beginning kinda.

Because I write like a person possessed, the beginnings sort of just happen on their own but I need a guideline for hitting the major points or it will be all out of whack.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

About 100%. Because I am so incredibly stupid and anal about this stuff, my first try is essentially a weighty tome of garbage. You can only throw out the garbage once I'm done, you can't add more to it. I guess this analogy doesn't work but it works in terms of the ✨ vibe ✨ I'm trying to create, stay with me people!

How many drafts do you go through?

Just one actually. If there is stuff in the first draft that I am not okay with, I will stop writing and simply leave it for a week or a month until I feel like picking it up again later 😐 The only time I actually create a new draft is when parts of the original are unreadable. Actually I'm lying, I just add stuff to the first draft while whistling and being inconspicuous.

Tell me about your process.

First comes the playlist. It HAS to start with a playlist. Every project has a separate playlist. Songs can be repeated, playlists cannot be the same though. It's a thing, and if I don't do it, it'll be a whole separate thing tbh.

The playlist has to be instrumental, it has to be mainly cellos and violins for the meatier scenes, piano is okay for the fluffy non-plot filler bits that I'm writing for my own entertainment. There can be no words or bits of the fic will turn into a Metallica song, I'll be sued, I'll lose everything and most importantly, the fic would never be finished.

Next comes the poetry, stuff that is actually inspiring the work and pushing it forward. That usually goes in tumblr drafts so it's easier for me to access from my phone. This is usually screenshots from e-books or actual pictures from physical books.

Because I do a fairly detailed outline beforehand, I usually start writing the beginning because that's what I haven't planned out yet and am most excited by. This takes me the longest amount of time and I also do a LOT of rewriting at this stage because personally, as a reader, I do abandon a lot of fics if the beginning isn't doing it for me.

I use google sheets cause I'll sometimes reread my stuff over the phone but I only ever write on the laptop, my phone is mainly for rereading and obsessing.

I also edit as I go along based on feel and make notes where I need to add stuff. If I edit later once I'm done, it usually doesn't come out like I want it to.

Once chapters are done, I copy paste them into Google Translate so I can hear them being read back to me. I catch a record number of missed typos and errors this way. I'm very conscious of the way I write dialogues because I'm so nitpicky when I'm reading other people's dialogues and this also allows me to correct issues with those (the "he would never fucking say it like that" errors)

After the first couple chapters, I'll share the google doc with mutuals and friends (mostly Ara @stedebonnets ) and I don't have a beta reader. Plot points I'll discuss with Josh and Joy 😭 and I don't publish fics on ao3 until the entire thing is written cause I'm a big stinking fic abandoner lmao (smauglock fic from 5 years ago rip 🪦 sorry readers)

This is the writing process that went into Need for Stede ✌️which was incredibly fun to write!

I'd like to tag @wearfinethingsalltoowell @abigailpents @talkstoself @red-sky-in-mourning @ratchet @stedebonnit and anyone else who wants to do this!

[latibvles]

Sort of a public PSA? — on commenting.

This is a thought after, once again, having a conversation and while yes, commenting is important, I feel like there’s also something else we should be saying:

If you can’t compliment a writer without bringing down another, don’t say anything.

And I’m talking about this in specific because this is what I see most often. I’m not going to screenshot this because it’s on other people’s works and I am very lucky to not have received comments like that on AO3 (which is currently the only place that I have published work), but I’ll do an imitation of what this looks like:

“Wow, this is a great story. All those OTHER stories just make the main character SO PERFECT and it’s just sooo unrealistic.”

This isn’t the compliment you think this is.

It’s very backhanded and the comment really could’ve stopped at the first sentence. Or, even better, comment about what you liked about the story you just read and not what you disliked about other people’s stories.

And maybe this is just a me thing, but writers are also readers and readers read comments, too. And reading negative generalizations made about what could be your particular ficwriting niche isn’t the greatest feeling.

Throwing in a read more because this got long.

“But Poet!” I hear you say, “I REALLY don’t like [insert thing here] and this is the FIRST time I’ve seen it very well-written!!”

Okay well for starters, I highly doubt that there’s only one (1) author who writes that thing well. Also, you can SAY that you enjoyed it without putting down other people in that particular genre. It’s not about what you do and don’t like, it’s about uplifting writers verses putting them down. “I usually don’t read ______, but I really enjoyed this!” Is such a kinder way to say it — and it doesn’t include insulting others in a fandom space.

Ultimately, the comment section exists so you can compliment and otherwise give feedback to the writer. It really, really isn’t a place to vent about your experiences with “bad” fanfiction. I haven’t gotten these comments on AO3, but I’ve definitely got them on Wattpad and Instagram. Most of the time it was never because of genuine love for my writing — it was just because they wanted to bring down others who were writing similar work.

We talk about commenting and supporting writers a lot but what should that look like? I can’t speak for everyone but this is what it looks like for me.

Keyboard smashing, screaming, all variants of “HOW DARE YOU!!” are well accepted and definitely make me smile. If you’re worried that something comes across wrong I’ve memorized tone tags — feel free to use them! I use them with all my friends and in comments when I want to ensure my intent comes across correctly.

Essay-long comments (and subsequently 20+ tags of rambling) are also accepted. Seriously. They spark joy. It’s very kind. Thank you for quoting the details and throwing them back at my face.

Criticism is okay when it’s asked for. I’ve got like … a definitive group people I’m comfortable with reading my work and giving feedback on it when I’m unsure of my own writing. I’m doing this for fun. I don’t need a bunch of compliment-criticism sandwiches, yanno?

If you’re going to tear down someone else’s work — keep it to yourself. You don’t usually read OFC fics but you really like mine? Cool! Tell me that! But don’t insult all the other lovely OFCs in the process. You usually don’t read childhood friends-to-lovers? I’m so happy that I’ve been able to reel you in. But keep the comparisons to yourself.

I honestly see it more than I see people just going “this sucked” on a piece of writing which also isn’t great, but the former is way more common.

“But Poet!” You say again, “I’m entitled to my opinion aren’t I? I’m allowed to dislike things!!”

Yes, you are! And you can have and share those opinions! Just maybe not on a work that isn’t even yours. A ficwriter does not know you hated all the other work out there to understand that you enjoyed theirs. I am someone with very strong Writing Opinions. And I am either sharing them HERE, on my blog, where it can’t really hurt anybody since it’s not like I’m targeting somebody — or I’m getting on a soapbox to my friends for an hour about it in a group chat. Which I think we should do more often.

Remember “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all”? Lets bring that back. Stop with the backhanded compliments fellas. It isn’t cute.

[promisinininining]

hello :3c all questions with the number 3 ( :3c ) in them, my good friend mis! :3c

Admittedlty, I started this. I shall accept my punishment with grace (💖).

Disclaimer here that there will be references to nsfw under the cut because I peddle smut. There's also a brief mention of vomit in a snippet I share.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic I write on my phone mainly, and I like to be curled up in a nest of some kind and comfy when I open up my Big Doc of Ideas and start typing. if it gets long enough (~1k words) I move it into its own doc. I reread constantly when I write, and often times I just sit and stare at a sentence until my brain clicks on. It also helps to bounce ideas off friends as I'm working, if I feel my steam running low. Otherwise I get into Da Zone and everything else disappear.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow? Ah. Hm. I don't actually know many "common" tips. I find a lot of them not very useful, like "write every day" just leads to burnout. I suppose there's this: sometimes, when you write yourself into a corner and don't know how to continue, go back a little bit further and try a new direction. Still Stuck? When I don't want to write a scene I simply don't and move on. Sometimes you never have to go back. It's fine. It wasn't that important anyway.

23. Best writing advice for other writers? ARE THE TIPS NOT GOOD ENOUGH? Okay Fine. Write what you want. Write weird shit, write horny shit, write stuff that disgusts and uncomfortablises people. Write the stuff that interests you rather than what you think other people would like. I made a promise to myself when I stepped back into fandom, and that was that I wouldn't be ashamed of anything that I liked anymore, and it's been an absolute blast. (Coming back up here after a few questions) WAIT- When you don't know what to do, ask yourself, what would be sexiest? and go with that. Never fails.

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? I'm happy sharing rough drafts. I tend to edit as I go so the top of my docs always end up pretty polished as opposed to the endings... shhh. I don't tend to share much of rough drafts in public, though, some friends get basically the entire thing through screenshots, lol. I can't resist okay! I'm excited about what I'm writing! I can't keep it all inside!

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing? Characters, definitely. Most of my stories are character-driven, and plot tends to happen around them, even aus are usually 'well what if they were brought up in THIS environment?' and whatever happens to them grows around what the consequences of their actions. I'm not very good at longfic and a lot of my fics are oneshot character studies so :Va Not that I'm saying I'm bad at what I do, plot is just not my priority! I Find characters, their relationships, and their personalities more fun to explore! (<- was raised on the Tales Of games)

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. Fuck, okay. Well it probably doesn't surprise you that I make friends thru fanfic so I have a lot of writer friends and I don't LIKE to pick favs, simply because I don't think of them that way. That would be weird. Additionally, I only really read stuff my friends write nowadays ;w; I'll name the people who I've reached out to over completely losing my shit over their fics instead, in order of meeting them: Elcie/BurningLio, Bee/println0/slothencholy, Mango/MalevolentMango (and here, an honourary mention of Ailem for appearing alongside Mango though I hadn't read any of its fics until after we had become friends).

33. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer? Sure. I don't see myself stopping any time soon.

34. Do you want to be published some day? (yes I swapped 33 and 34 by accident so sue me) Eeehhhh, as someone who writes mostly erotica I don't reaaaally see any of my stuff being published by any mainstream publishing houses. I certainly WANTED to when I was younger, and it would certainly be cool, but it's not something I am persuing or even have an interest in persuing.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?  They gotta be as hot as possible.

36. How do you write kissing scenes? Okay so disclaimer, I've been writing fanfic for a VERY long time. I was on the internet before I should have been. My parents didn't speak english very well, and stuff like google translate didn't even exist (rather, it did, but it wasn't very good). I was ten, and I asked Google sensei how to write kisses, and the first result took me to a yahoo questions page where the answer was something like, describe how they feel instead of the kiss itself. I then deleted my history because I was not a stupid child. I remember that advice to this day.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter? I uh. Write oneshots. I end it where the story ends. Hope this helps :)

38. Would you ever write commissions? Yes but nothing too long. I've been meaning to open up writing commissions for literal years but I KEEP getting too sick to be able to dedicate the time it deserves to run commissions.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP Huff okay. This should be shiny and new for even you, Mango.

"Akechi-" "I'm fine," Akechi grits, spitting more acid onto the ground before he finally straightens and wipes a sleeve over his face. Akira doesn't even try to hide his expression when Akechi deigns to face them again. He states the fact plainly. "You're not fine." "Don't try to tell me what I am or not," Akechi sneers in return. He's clutching at his stomach despite his nonchalance, and a grimace clings to the edges of his pissed off expression. Akira rolls his eyes. There's no point arguing with Akechi on a good day, never mind when he's defensive and scared of being benched. They don't exactly have a choice to keep Akechi in combat as there are only three of them, and Kasumi is completely new to this kind of palace exploration. He may not be Futaba, but he has the most experience in the Metaverse by far; he's observant, meticulous, and his ability to memorise the attributes of new shadows is impressive. Akechi really had been holding back on them in Sae's Casino, and Akira isn't stupid enough to let that kind of usefulness go to waste.

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person? lmao. do i even need to answer this?

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? I'm primarily a writer. I used to read a lot but I have a hard time reading anything nowadays. I need to be doing something or else I'll EXPLODE. KABOOM. No more mis. splat like watermelon.

63. Something you hate to see in smut. I hate it when the author takes their time to write 'btw this is pure good non fetishistic sex' through the characters. It's ridiculous. I'm here for a good time not to get lectured on what safe sex is. If the reader needs to be told what consent is, I'd argue that they aren't old enough to be reading it.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? Brother I do not know. I kind of fly by the seat of my pants. Lich Rally Just Vibin.

[edenatday]

I’ve been chatting on Reddit about aphansasia and someone shared this essay with me. (Below is a screenshot that stood out)

I relate to about 90% of what he’s shared of his experience.

One thing has been vexing me when it comes to accepting that I have a very poor ability to visualise - and certainly my former friend wanted to use as a valid example to disprove I have no visual imagination. I can imagine, make up, play with lots of things in my brain. I have a rich inner world. How do I make @stupidlittledoodles if I can’t visualise?

This is how…

Milk voice = the neutral voice in your head that reminds you to buy milk. Do the dishes. Etc.

The doodles are visual mad libs. I don’t imagine images and go ooh I should draw that. I don’t see the doodle in my head as it is seen on the page. I experience concepts.

Me in my head:

- lol i bet a reverse mermaid but it’s a bloke and has a human penis would look funny.

- Lol remember that time my partner ran around the house with his dick and balls out the top of his jeans and I called it a blep and we found it hilarious.

- my cat is such a slut. She needs an only fans. Oh wait what if there was an only fans for cats. What would it be called?? Only Felines. She’d do some camming. She’d need a laptop…

They’re simple so I DONT have to spend time looking for a reference. A few are traced so I can make them quickly without too much effort to communicate the concept easily, and the touch of realism adds to the lols. I use my iPad like an accessibility tool bc it’s quicker to edit as I go than analogue sketching. They’re not meant to look realistic on the whole.

It’s interesting to me that I started these doodles as a way to move away from perfectionism & let go of realism, because all I have is realism. I can only see what’s real when I open my eyes. I cannot picture surrealism. I can gather references for the concepts of surrealism, or specific artistic techniques, or styles of artistic greats, and years of study mean I can replicate these things into creating something uniquely mine. But I don’t see the image. I judge each stroke as I go. It’s like pulling a thread.

Problem is, with stupid little doodles, my brain isn’t able to mad lib like that all the time. The ideas I get are sparked by quips in conversations, random bits between friends, jokes, maybe even vocalised visual randomness from other peoples brains, that I’m able to illustrate. I live a very solitary life these days so im not exposed to these moments often, and I miss that creativity. It only happens when I’m bouncing off other people. I’ve sat with this feeling of personal failure for a while, why don’t I do them anymore? I really love creating them. They’re like a dopamine button for me too! Maybe I’ll figure out ways to spark this part of my brain again. For now I’m choosing to focus elsewhere.

A lot of my creativity comes this way. A solitary life suits me, but doesn’t suit my creativity. I have to externalise a lot of my brain to function, so lot of my ideas are externally generated through my unique perspective human experience. I’m not sure how to describe this process entirely yet. But it’s been on my mind for a while. In order to make art I need to go out in the world and have experiences, but there’s people and things out there, so I stay in.

I’ll get back to the world soon I hope. Burnout is a bitch.

[9jaboizgistworld-blog]

How To Check NMCN Result Online (and What to Do Next!)

How To Check NMCN Result Online? While I'm not a nurse or midwife myself, I know firsthand how stressful waiting for NMCN exam results can be. My sister went through the whole process, and let me tell you, it was a rollercoaster of emotions. But the good news is, checking your NMCN results is a lot easier than it used to be. I'm here to share her experience, offer some brotherly advice, and help you navigate the next steps, no matter what your results may be.

How To Check NMCN Result Online: A Simple Guide

The NMCN has actually made this part pretty simple. Here's how my sister did it: - Go to the NMCN Portal: The official place to check is right here: https://portal.nmcn.gov.ng/Examinations/trackStatus - Enter the Info: You'll need your index number and date of birth. Double-check those digits! - Click 'Track Examination': It's the big button, you can't miss it. - See the Results: If they're ready, they'll pop right up. Congrats in advance!

What to Do if You Passed?

My sister was over the moon when she passed. Here's what she did to celebrate (and what I recommend): - Take a Breather: You earned it! Go out for a nice meal, catch a movie, or just relax. - Start the Paperwork: The NMCN site has all the info on licensing and registration. Get a head start, trust me. - Thank Your Support System: Teachers, family, friends... whoever helped you study deserves a shoutout.

What to Do if You Didn't Pass?

If things didn't go as planned, don't worry. My sister didn't pass the first time either, and she's a fantastic nurse now. Here's what she did (and what you can do): - Don't Panic: It's just a setback, not the end of the road. - Figure Out What Went Wrong: Review the exam, talk to your teachers, see where you can improve. - Make a Plan and Retake: You've got this! My sister studied even harder the second time around and aced it. Pro Tip (from My Sister): Print or screenshot your results, just in case you need them later.

When do results usually come out?

The NMCN typically releases exam results within a few weeks after the exam date. However, the exact date can vary depending on the specific exam and other factors. To get the most accurate information about when your results will be available, I recommend: - Checking the NMCN website: They often post announcements regarding result release dates. - Contacting your school of nursing: Your school will likely have information about when to expect results. - Referring to recent news and updates: Websites like Medical World Nigeria and AllSchool often publish articles about the release of NMCN exam results.

What is the pass mark for the Nursing Council of Nigeria?

The Nursing and Midwifery Council of Nigeria (NMCN) explicitly states that the pass mark for all core nursing courses within their professional program is 50%. This information is consistent across multiple sources, including the NMCN's own documentation and university websites outlining their nursing programs.

How long does it take to get verified by NMCN?

The time it takes to get verified by the NMCN can vary depending on several factors, including the complexity of your application and the volume of requests they are processing. However, based on information from various sources: - Online Verification to the NMC-UK: The NMCN aims to process these applications within 10 working days, but it can sometimes take longer due to unforeseen circumstances. - General Verification: For other verification requests, the NMCN does not provide a specific timeframe, but they strive to process applications as quickly as possible. Some applicants have reported receiving verification within a few weeks, while others have experienced longer waiting times. To ensure a smooth verification process, it's important to: - Submit a complete application: Make sure you have all the required documents and that they are filled out correctly. - Pay the required fees: The verification process involves fees that vary depending on the type of verification and the destination country. - Follow up with the NMCN: If you haven't received a response after a reasonable amount of time, you can contact the NMCN for an update on your application status. You can find more information about the verification process on the NMCN website: - Verification of Certificates of Registration: https://www.nmcn.gov.ng/verify.html - Verification Requests Portal: https://portal.nmcn.gov.ng/verification_requests/start

How long does it take to become a registered Nurse in Nigeria?

The time it takes to become a registered nurse in Nigeria depends on the educational path you choose: School of Nursing: - Duration: 3 years - Qualification: Registered Nurse (RN) certificate University Degree Program: - Duration: 5 years - Qualification: Bachelor of Nursing Science (BNSc) degree Additional Requirements: After completing either program, you must pass the Nursing and Midwifery Council of Nigeria (NMCN) professional examination to become a registered nurse. Foreign-Trained Nurses: For nurses trained abroad, the NMCN requires a minimum of 6 months and a maximum of 18 months of additional training in an approved Nigerian School of Nursing before they can take the professional exam and become licensed to practice in Nigeria. Key Factors Affecting Timeline: - Academic Performance: Successfully completing your coursework and exams within the stipulated timeframe. - NMCN Exam: Passing the professional examination on the first attempt can expedite your registration. - Registration Process: The time it takes for the NMCN to process your registration application can also vary. I hope this clarifies the timeline for becoming a registered nurse in Nigeria!

A Sibling's Perspective

Watching my sister go through this was an eye-opener. I saw how much dedication and hard work it takes to become a nurse or midwife. I also saw how important it is to have a support system to lean on during the tough times.

FAQs About NMCN Exams & Registration

1. What is the pass mark for the NMCN professional exams?The pass mark for all core nursing courses in the NMCN professional examinations is 50%.2. How do I check my NMCN exam results online?You can check your results on the NMCN portal: https://portal.nmcn.gov.ng/Examinations/trackStatus You will need your index number and date of birth.3. When are NMCN exam results usually released?Results are typically released within a few weeks after the exam date. Check the NMCN website or your school for announcements regarding specific release dates.4. What if I don't see my results on the portal?If your results are not showing up, double-check that you've entered your index number and date of birth correctly. If you're still having trouble, contact the NMCN directly for assistance.5. What do I do if I pass the exam?Congratulations! You can start the registration process with the NMCN to become a licensed nurse. Visit the NMCN website for detailed instructions and requirements.6. What if I don't pass the exam?Don't worry, you can retake the exam after proper preparation. Identify areas where you need improvement and seek guidance from your instructors.7. How long does it take to get my nursing license after passing the exam?The processing time for your license can vary, but it usually takes a few weeks to a few months.8. Is there a fee for checking my results or registering with the NMCN?Yes, there are fees associated with both checking your results and the registration process. The exact amounts can be found on the NMCN website.9. What documents do I need to register with the NMCN?You will typically need your exam results, academic transcripts, identification documents, and any other documentation specified by the NMCN.10. Can I work as a nurse before getting my license?No, you must be a licensed and registered nurse with the NMCN to practice nursing in Nigeria.

Conclusion

Checking your NMCN results might feel like a big deal (and it is!), but the process itself is easy. Remember, no matter the outcome, you've got this. And if you ever need a pep talk from a proud sibling (even if I'm not the one taking the exam), you know where to find me! Read the full article

[my-pokemon-box]

Welcome to My Pokemon Box!

This is a personal collection of pokemon I have collected, art about them and my journeys with them, along with general appreciation for Pokemon as a whole.

Please note that screenshots and pokemon I post about may have redacted information for privacy reasons, but I want to express that I will refuse to post about hacked pokemon as a whole.

All posted pokemon are legitimate and will be backed up with mystery gift cards if applicable.

(I do keep some mons from wonder trades but never use them for anything other than Pokedex entries and they remain in the games they have been recieved in)

Here is a list of the games I have played and/or transferred pokemon from, in approximately the order I've played them in:

FireRed (I remember when my Charmander evolved into Charmeleon. Wow... I have so much love for this one, even if it's been improved upon as a series. Very important to me, very sad I gave it to a friend so that he might get into pokemon as well. And it was lost in a house fire {nobody was hurt}. I want to replace it some day.)

Mystery Dungeon Red (Played a lot, don't remember much)

Platinum (my dearest worm. Never deleting this save and kid me was nice enough to hack in some items lmao.)

HeartGold (revisiting my old save and wow kid me was NOT gonna spend too long on this one I guess lmao)

Ranger (CIRCLES CIRCLES CIRCLES CIRCLES MANAPHY EGG CIRCLES CIRCLES)

Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time (weeping forever. This touched me deeply as a kid)

Black (Loved it! Loved the story, the mons, but as a kid I didn't absorb much of it ^^" restarting my save on this one)

Black 2 (briefly, did not finish due to depression as a child, playing through again soon)

Pokemon Yellow (gba) (found my cart at a playground and was too excited I forgot to try to find the owner. Ah well, it's safe at least! Lucky it wasn't ruined from being outside. And yes of course I did the mew glitch ahaha)

Pokemon Colleseum (N64) (my stepdad kept all of his old video game stuff and would play it with me often, not just pokemon. I think I owe my video game history AND pokemon obsessions to him, haha)

Y (Need a new Cart for because I miss her ough)

Alpha Sapphire (fun and adventurous! May play more of)

Sun (Fun! Great designs! Story I feel they pruned for the game they were actually meaning to make with UltraSM)

New Pokemon Mystery Dungeon (I have no idea what this one was even about tbh. Didn't finish)

Ultra Sun (rushed through because it was kind of the same as Sun :/)

Pokemon Emerald (gba) (My mom's copy she let me have a long with a Gameboy I mutilated on accident by trying to change out the shell ^^" she wasn't upset about it, more worried about my thumb I hurt in the process. The internal battery is empty, but I'm too scared to replace it. For reasons.)

Let's go Eevee (cute and cozy, taken for what it is)

Sword (Very dissatisfied with this one but it was exciting at the time)

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon DX (Still playing through! Just a cozy game I'm taking time with. No rush)

Legends Arceus (One of my favorite of all time.)

Scarlet (Very very dissatisfied with this one, I'm not buying the dlc unless they fix the game for real. I mean seriously, this is pathetic and they should have given the developers much more time. They did it for Zelda! Bitter, but loved the designs)

Please enjoy this space with me! And feel free to share and submit and share your own pokemon screenshots and stories!

[charliepipedesigner]

Initial Iconography Designs - Major Project

The icons on an app play a significant role in helping users to navigate through the app easily. By providing a visual cue for different functions or sections of the app, the users can quickly find what part of the service they're looking for. I initiated digital designs that not only build the representation of the subject area in film, but also reinforce the brand identity through consistent visual elements such as the logo, shapes, and colours within the app.

Tab Bar Icons

Firstly I had to consider what the most important features are going to be on my app, which would initiate the iconography for the tab bar. A home button felt the most necessary because that's where the user will find the majority of features and content. Then the lessons and quizzes will be the primary form of content to enable users to learn about film through a library of daily and weekly interactive lessons, and a variety of quizzes and assessments to test the user's knowledge of film. Another tab bar icon I would consider a priority would be a projects tab, where users can collaborate on film projects with their peers. They could share ideas, scripts, storyboards, and even films they have made. Finally, a leaderboard tab would be implemented to add motivation for each individual "auteur" as a competitive gamified element within the service. Online users will be able to compete against their friends, student peers, or other people within a certain region in order to receive rewards for using the app.

Design Process

I started by drawing in my sketchbook whilst taking inspiration from websites such as Noun Project and Icon Noir. I quickly moved onto Adobe Illustrator so that I could play with the shapes on the logo font. The Cocon Pro typeface has an interesting shape that is used consistently in each letter. For example, this can be found on the shoulder of the letter 'r' and the finial on the letter 'e'. Therefore I expanded the appearance of the type so that they became a solid shape. After that I used the direct selection tool to cut the anchor points to keep the curved shape and to implement them into the icons (as demonstrated in the first screenshot on this post).

Film Themed Icons

Beginning with the home tab, I felt it was necessary to draw a director's chair to portray the idea of associating the user with a traditional "auteur's" chair that is often used whilst filming. I then drew a play button with a graduation cap to associate with the lessons. I've made the hat thinner than the play button because it's smaller in size and it's easier to single out the two visual designs within the one icon. As for the projects tab I designed a traditional film slate because it's used to start and stop each cut during the filming process. This was difficult to design digitally because I wanted to use the same thickness as the other icons while maintaining the width, height and the unique shape from the logo. Meanwhile, the leaderboard tab was a lot easier to design because it only required three square shapes and a star.

Conclusion

Overall I am really happy with these initial icon designs because they match with the brand logo and badge through the shaping and the actual visual representation of film elements. Now I need to consider how I can make them look more interesting when each icon is enabled. I will have to experiment with the colour and thickness of the iconography to make the experience of the app visually interactive and user-friendly.

[konveeart]

{2022生2月} February Screenshots // Spirit & Strife Zine

I watched Advent Children 5 times between end 2021- beginning 2022 and practiced on his outfit before finally deciding to draw CC Cloud instead. I usually tackle full-bodies for zines, it was a pleasant change to paint a portrait for once~ 

These are wip-screenshots from both painting and standee I designed (I think they look really cool, I’m happy to share hehe)! This standee is the first piece of merchandise I ever made and it holds a very special place in my heart! Thank you very much for the opportunity ♥ !!

I am currently uploading the timelapse of the painting and I should get to uploading the standee BTS once my package arrives *crosses fingers!* I’ve been keeping for so long, but I’d love to have the entire experience of traditonal-to-digital-to-final_product in one video so I’ll hold for as long as it needs..! ☆ UPDATE FURTHER DOWN, the video is mADE!!

As a surprise for being here, here’s the little eerie edit I ended up inserting in the timelapse as an add-on

I had 2 files corrupted while working on this. I don’t remember what happened anymore (let me check discord).

..

right

I don’t remember mentioning if I lost any work, but I will assume I lost a couple of hours (+2hrs of trying to restart my pc and make it work again 💀).. Gladly this time there was a very pleasant recovery file which I duplicated and feared every time I saved in PS //cries

Unfortunately file corruptions occur more often now, that's my signal that my poor pc needs an upgrade (who can afford one in this economy??? Prolong the lives of your machines, friends!). I'll live in fear and 5 backup files until I decide my hardware hates anything above 5000px+ files and I go smaller (which is not happening, sorry friend, we'll have to keep being fried a little longer.. hang in there..)

[9月2日Update] I have uploaded the second (and final) timelapse with a little assembly video at the end and some extras~

I have the habbit of working at least x2 bigger in file than what goes into print. First lesson learned was this is unnecessary in merch-making of small sizes (I actually worked x3~4 times bigger and it shows in the video why it was a bad idea //wheeze) especially since my lineart is very thin and it gets lost if shrinked. I’ve watched so many merch-making vlogs in the past years, print-test got drilled in my brain and forced myself to test it at least once (gotta be professional about it, right? ;3) It wasn’t too early on, but it was early enough to change the composition of the piece as it set realistic expectations to what would work out or not (the size was so important, I hadn’t realised it would shrink so much because I obviously read very well and was fully aware of the OG size provided by the lovely mods). From the original design to the final I made a lot of changes and I was too obsessed with the meteor to let go. I cut at least 5mins (already sped-up) of me trying to lineart it and failing miserably so I switched back to PS and did it there. I cannot watch my own timelapse anymore without feeling dread and bored lmao, my convolution makes my skin crawl, so meticulous.. If it’s interesting to anyone I’ll be happy, if not then I am not surprised, I am not either! It made a beautiful base regardless, so it was worth it~ On a final note, no I did not 100% forget what kind of idea I had for the flaming buster sword (the meteor was supposed to reflect-in-tiny over it) and completely ignored my initial sketch to polish something I wasn’t sure what it was. It works out in the end so we’re good ok.

If there’s one thing I am taking from working on this is; don’t experiment when merch-making, it will make your life so much easier to stick to a process but knowing myself this is not happening. It’s just not me lol //runs

I am in denial that the zine is finally wrapping up.. It’s been such a wonderful experience sharing the Cloud love between us (for ~7 months?? time flies ;;;;;;!!) //is emotional.. I am very grateful and honoured to be part of this wonderful project ♥ thank you everyone for your lovely company during this time ;; I will always hold our little chit-chats and cloud-love-sharing dearly in my heart. Mod team, you are STELLAR and I hope one day our roads cross again💫!! ---

Thank you for making it this far 🌦️

Leftover sales will be up soon, so follow @strifezine​ // Spirit & Strife zine as it’s your last chance of grabbing a copy or merch item if you missed out on the first round!

[pleasurenerd]

In love with your art! Do you think you could share your process if possible? :0

Aw thank you! I really appreciate it!

I work with both pixel art and digital paintings so if you don't mind, I'll explain my process for both as I don't know which one you prefer!

Warning - I am a rambler, this is going to be long. I am so sorry. Any questions let me know!

Digital Paintings

Program used is Clip Studio Paint

I need about 3-5 reference photos/images for everything I paint. One will be a painting (usually if I'm struggling with a feature like glasses or clothing I'll find an artist that I admire their techniques - I'm not going to lie it's often John Singer Sargent), I occasionally have my own painting up if I'm doing a series like the Our Flag Means Death Crew of the Revenge otherwise it looks really disjointed.

For my underlying sketch I use green as I find this much easier to see and very rarely do I paint green people so it's helpful to see where I've sketched features (below is an example using Black Pete from OFMD), I usually outline the features, where cheekbones are and roughly where I want shadows.

I then use a darker background colour (unless the person I'm painting is darker in skintone than my default background colour, then I make the background a tan colour).

From there I tend to block out colours so skin, hair, clothes and eyes (it looks real freaky at this stage). I then try to work in basic features so I'm not reliant on the sketch layer for where.

After that, my friends have often referred to me as a chaos gremlin, I tend to do shadows and highlights at the same time occasionally throwing in the detail too. I know the best practice is to do it step by step, but I just can't do it that way. I find it stressful, so chaotically doing everything is kind of it. To me, I feel like I'm carving out the features more? I often focus on the eyes first, then the nose, then everything else.

If you'd like I can record the process and post it to show my chaotic and not at all aesthetically pleasing way of painting?

I also regularly flip the canvas and try to screenshot the image and put it side-by-side with my references to make sure it's what I'm after.

For context this is the final image

Pixel Art

Programmes used are Pixaki and Aseprite

I need references for pixel art too. This is usually subject matter rather than style references.

I often roughly sketch out what I want in a notebook, to get a better idea of the vibe I'm after. Once I've decided the pose/style/character I'm wanting to portrait I then draw it in Pixaki or Aseprite (below is an example of a underlying sketch in pixel art).

I've recently been using Pixaki a lot more as I can use my iPad for it and not have to sit at my PC all day. Aseprite I find is better for animation and has more options with varying frame speeds.

I actually do pixel art like a mature adult, I start with the base colours. Once I've finished those I move onto shadows and then highlights. My biggest flaw is I often do backgrounds last. I find it to be quite fun to play with dithering for shadows. I know some pixel art purists are going to hate how I do pixel art as I use opacity layers etc. but I think it's a fun way to do things and is helping me better understand colour.

The fun thing with pixel art is figuring out the best place to put the pixels. When you get to the end of the illustration you can clean up the occasional orphan pixel (single pixel not attached to any other pixels) or ensure that the lines are evenly distributed. It gets a lot more interesting when you are using a limited palette or challenging yourself to use a smaller size canvas.

I also often add little extras around it to add more atmosphere or create a tiny sprite.

For context below is the final image of the sketch

If you got here, well done! I would love to go into more detail but it's kind of difficult in a text post? I'm not sure I'm conveying myself right.

[icharchivist]

How did you get into A3?

hey hey hey!

I got into A3 in October 2019 when the English Server for the App opened. I had a foot in some seiyuu franchise at this point (i was still a lot into hypmic, and my besties were trying to get me into gbf), so turned out i started to see a lot of the localization on twitter.

There were a lot of completely unreal screenshots that made me laugh so hard, but this screenshot was ultimately the culprit into having me download the app:

I couldn't stop laughing when i saw that and i knew i had to try it. I took a look at the characters, already got psych dmg because of Azuma being pretty, and then i started playing the app.

It took me about two weeks to unlock the whole story and i read it all during that time, and i fell so, so in love with it. Like most people, my first focus was Itaru and then i got extremely enamored with the Summer Troupe, then, on a less popular experience, I really cemented Azuma as my fav, with Hisoka that i had often in the back of my head.

It was before any of the events started to go live, and i've participated to every single events on the a3 English Server. I grew to adore all of them, i cried at every events, more and more...

and then act 2 dropped and i lost my mind completely, the Winter Troupe destroyed my life, Chikage came along and added to it, making Azuma/Hisoka/Chikage my top 3 fav characters making me cry on the spot, and now this is all that's on my mind ever ahah. Ever since act 2 i was ranking up for every single events, it was a mad time.

And then the English server closed last November and officially shut down a few months ago. It is still breaking my heart and still something i have a hard time processing. I miss my boys very much every day.

The JPN server is ahead from the English Server of about 3 years, and is now well advanced into its 5 years. Since the plot really followed the flow of time and made you feel like years passed with the characters, i had a hard time thinking about catching up to the JPN server and wanted to read at the EN server's pace.

But now that the EN server is done with, i have been considering seriously getting into the plot of the JPN server, meaning, following through the wiki's translations and catch up on the plot while i play the JPN server on the side.

But tbh i didn't really touch a3 since the EN server closed because i'm still heartbroken, and the push in a3 i have recently is because one of my best friend recently decided to get into it by watching the anime with me (which, idk if you're asking me it out of curiosity in general or out of interest in getting into a3, is a fine adaptation but does some missteps here and there and really butcher Autumn/Winter's part of the story) and then decided to start watching what was skipped and going onward into act 2 from reading from the recordings of the secret archive EN server fans made to at least save the localization for a time. (which i can share to anyone who wants to experience a3 in its English Localization glory, but keep in mind we're keeping the link as secret as possible to not get in trouble and having it taken down)

If this ask is out of curiosity/knowing a3, this is my history with it. I miss it every day.

If it's out of curiosity wanting to get into it, unless you want to experience it directly from the JPN server and/or from watching the anime (that only covers the 4 first chapters of the main plot), i can guide you through the archive, as long as i can send the link in private, and then i'll tell you the chronology of the stories so it's a little clearer.

But yeah. A3. I miss them.

and it all started over "if you catch a cold, you're gonna catch these hands". Legendary.