#I realise I just dumped half of it there. but. something needs Done

[ace-malarky]

oop I have asks I will get to them but also I have family over and yaddayadda probably the last time we'll all be together (mortality's a bitch) so like. capitalising on that so I haven't forgotten I just. haven't been around. Who knows when I will have time!

... maybe tomorrow I don't think I have to like Be places until the afternoon but the housework is also piling up lmaoooo

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine thinking you have the perfect relationship but then out of the blue your boyfriend Hongjoong dumps you! Ateez are just as shocked as you and San and Seonghwa take it upon themselves to find out what’s going on with their captain.

To you, it was just a normal Friday. You finished work and headed home to do some food shopping and get things ready for your weekly dinner with your boyfriend Hongjoong. You'd only been home half an hour when the door went, you weren't expecting Hongjoong for another hour so were surprised when you opened the door to find him there. "Hongjoong! What are you doing here I thought you had work until late!" you cried hugging him and you didn't notice but he hardly hugged you back. "I came by because I have to tell you something...you haven't started cooking dinner yet have you?". You shook your head "no but if you're hungry I can go get it started?". Hongjoong shook his head "no that won't be necessary, Y/n I need to tell you something so can we go sit down?". You nodded leading Hongjoong to the living room and turned to face him "so what's up?". "Y/n we need to break up" Hongjoong said and just like that everything changed. To you, the past few years had been happy and fun. You worked as a dancer and danced with Ateez several times which is how you met Hongjoong. He asked you out after your second time working with Ateez and you'd been together ever since. You were just one year older than him, both loved music and were from towns really close to each other. You got along well and were very compatible. Hongjoong claimed nobody could make him laugh like you could and you told him nobody made you feel as loved as him. That's why this was all such a shock, to you everything was fine but Hongjoong said it wasn't about you. "The truth is I've met someone else and I was to pursue it" Hongjoong told you and you struggled to process what he was saying. "Oh...okay" you found yourself saying and Hongjoong carried on "it's nothing you've done wrong I just don't want to hurt you so want to end it". "Thank you?" you asked confused and it came out a lot more sarcastic than you meant it. That was the only time Hongjoong looked you in the eye, to see if you were angry at him. When he realised you were just confused he quickly wrapped it up, grabbed some of his stuff and passed you a bag of things you'd left at his. He left wishing you well and you stared at the door confused, wondering how everything had changed in the space of 15 minutes.

You of course felt very rejected and upset by what happened. Your confidence was shaken and even though Hongjoong said it was nothing to do with you all you could do was wonder what this girl had that you didn't. It must be pretty special to make your boyfriend of nearly 3 years leave you so suddenly and it took you months to get passed that. 4 months after your breakup you were finally feeling a little better and threw yourself into your work. You worked for a dancer agency where companies would hire you for music videos but it had always been your dream to work for one of the big three companies as a dancer and you finally accomplished that. SM hired you as an official dancer and you couldn't be happier! It would further your career so much and also meant you would never have to run into Hongjoong. You were offered a job dancing for Ateez a few weeks ago and turned it down realising you could never dance for Ateez again. So this made you feel so much more stable and powerful. You had your own company now and felt protected by that! However, idol interactions were becoming more and more common and it didn't take long for some familiar faces to appear. When they told you Seonghwa and San would be coming to do the Rover challenge your initial feeling was excitement because you knew how much the boys idolised Kai. Then you began to worry as the situation dawned on you. You hadn't spoken to any of Ateez since you broke up which was sad because you'd become close friends with the guys over the years. You missed them and did feel their loss as well as Hongjoong's. You'd never get to find out if Yeosang liked that book you’d discussed and you thought of Yunho every time a new superhero movie came out. So you'd be coming face to face with 2 of Hongjoong's members for the first time since the breakup with all these unfinished feelings in the mix. It would be awkward to say the least but you just hoped the boys wouldn't refuse to work with you or do anything that your new boss might see as a red flag. The boys entered the room and you and the other dancer clapped and bowed. Judging from the look on their faces they'd been warned it would be you and they bowed back awkwardly. You were one of the more experienced dancers so took the lead teaching them the choreo. San and Seonghwa were in professional mode and listened to you dutifully. They got the choreo pretty quickly and the manager nipped back asking if you could take the boys to Kai. Your fellow dancer asked if you could do it alone so she could go rest and you agreed knowing she'd done a long shift. So it was you and the boys. You walked in awkward silence until you reached the room. "Kai will meet you in here” you said showing them to a small office "you'll do the dance on the steps outside". San and Seonghwa nodded. You noticed San was a little more friendly towards you whereas Seonghwa couldn't even meet your eye. You were sat in silence for a few seconds before San spoke "so how are you Y/n?". "I'm good, enjoying being at SM". San nodded "it was your dream job right?". You nodded thinking of how many amazing groups you'd seen already "yes...I still can't believe it". "Well you deserve it" San said with a kind smile and you smiled back. "How are both of you?" you asked "excited to be performing with Kai I imagine". At that both boys laughed and nodded. "Very excited" Seonghwa said and San nodded "but nervous!". You smiled "don't be, you're great dancers and he's super nice. You'll have fun". The guys nodded and Seonghwa finally looked at you. "I'm sorry we've been distant...or that I've been distant. It's just awkward you know?". You nodded "don't worry I get we can't get friends but I still think of you all fondly. I have no bad feelings towards you guys, him or the other girl". The guys nodded when the door opened and Kai appeared. You bowed to him and then left, considering the day a success. It was only when the boys were in the car heading back to practice that they thought about your words. "What did Y/n mean by other girl?" San asked and Seonghwa paused "I was just thinking that...maybe she meant the other members?". "But she said girl not guys" and Seonghwa nodded "yeah you're right, I have no idea what she meant". Both boys were confused by it but didn't stress over it too much. That weekend all the guys got together for some drinks and after a few San mentioned they'd seen you to Hongjoong. "Oh really?" he asked "how is she?". "She looked good, right Seonghwa?" San said. Hongjoong looked over to his friend and Seonghwa felt guilty. "Yes, she's enjoying her new job there". "That's good" Hongjoong said and went to change the subject but San wasn't done. "She said the strangest thing when we were there. "Oh and what was that?" Hongjoong asked. "she said she had no hard feelings towards us, you or the other girl. "Other girl?" Yunho echoed "what on earth does that mean?". Seonghwa watched Hongjoong as more guys got involved and he saw how uncomfortable the boy was. Something was up. "Who else could she mean? Our partners? Our mothers?" Wooyoung asked. "No she said girl specifically!" San said and Hongjoong sighed "can we stop talking about my ex please? Who knows why she said that but we don't need to sit around discussing it!". Everyone went quiet at Hongjoong's sudden outburst because it had been so unexpected. One minute he was casually chatting about you and the next he was upset? The guys just nodded though, guessing it was a sensitive topic and moved on so as to not upset Hongjoong but that didn't stop them being suspicious. Afterwards, when all the younger members had headed off to bed Seonghwa and Hongjoong were tidying up. Hongjoong was in a pretty good mood so Seonghwa thought he'd broach the subject. "So you really don't know who Y/n was referring to then when she said the other person? You're not seeing some other girl?". Immediately Hongjoong's posture changed and Seonghwa saw the smile leave his face. "No" he said harshly "why do you care anyway?". "I don't I was just wondering" Seonghwa shrugged and Hongjoong nodded. They cleaned the rest of the room in silence. After that Seonghwa was even more convinced Hongjoong wasn't telling them something and he told San as much. "Okay so he's keeping some secret about Y/n, so?". "So don't you want to know what it is?" Seonghwa asked. San paused "I don't know, they've already broken up and what use is there in bringing up the past". "You're right but come on there's been something dodgy about their breakup from day one! They were so happy together and next Hongjoong has broken up with her and won't tell us why". "Didn't we all think it was cheating or something like that?" San asked. Seonghwa nodded "yes but I never believed Y/n would ever do that and when we saw her she didn't look ashamed or embarrassed just more nervous". San nodded "that is true...but why else would Hongjoong break up with her so suddenly?". Seonghwa paused and San noticed his expression "no Hongjoong wouldn't be the one to cheat". "I know that but it would explain why Hongjoong was so cagey about their breakup and why Y/n said other girl". San sighed "I just can't believe Hongjoong would do that". "I know which is why I think there must be something else we're not thinking of" Seonghwa said. San nodded"I don't know but something's not right". Seonghwa agreed "and we need to find out what". On their next day off, San and Seonghwa lied to the guys saying they had plans and then came to the SM building to find you. They told the person at the desk they knew you and had something to give you. Luckily they recognised them as the idols from the other week and let them in. Once in the building they both wandered around hopelessly lost and were arguing quietly when who found them but their idol, Kai. "Hey!" Kai said and then it seemed to dawn on him these two weren't usually here. "What brings you guys here?" he asked and as all the best lies had some truth in them, San was honest. "We're looking for Y/n, when we were here last time she lent us this great fitness book and we want to give it her back". Kai nodded "no worries, do you want me to give it to her?". "No!" Seonghwa said and then paused as Kai was getting more and more suspicious, luckily San's quick thinking saved them again. "What Seonghwa means if he'd prefer to give it her as an excuse to see her again, I'm sure you can guess why" San said smirking at Seonghwa whose eyes widened and his cheeks went pink. That confirmed it for Kai who smiled "hah I can, Y/n is probably downstairs in the dance studio" Kai explained "if anyone asks say I sent you". The guys thanked Kai and quickly hurried to the studio. They spotted you immediately and worried about disturbing the practice but luckily it seemed like a pretty chill one. So the guys stood by the door waving to you and you spotted them and came outside "hey what are you guys doing here? Is everything and everyone okay?". San nodded "yeah everyone's fine we just had a question for you". "And you came all the way here to ask it me?" you asked and Seonghwa nodded "we're sorry to disturb you but couldn't think of another way to contact you. Y/n what did you mean the other week when you said you didn't hold any hard feelings to us, Hongjoong or the other girl". You paused "to his new girlfriend of course" and their jaws dropped. "No!" San said still in disbelief and Seonghwa went pale. You noted their expression and paused "are you two okay?". "Y/n did Hongjoong really cheat on you?" San asked and you shook your head rapidly. "What? No! Atleast I don't think so...he told me he had feelings for another girl and broke up with me to be with her. You didn't know?". "No!" San said and Seonghwa frowned because this still didn't make sense. "You're sure he said that?" Seonghwa asked and you nodded "trust me I wish I could forget him telling me he's leaving me for another woman". "Well that's odd" San said "we haven't met any new partner". You shrugged "maybe they've broken up or he's keeping her a secret. Either way I just meant I don't hold anything against her...sorry that's the choreographer that's just walked into the room. I've got to go" you said and Seonghwa and San thanked you for talking to them before watching you go. "What the fuck?" San asked and Seonghwa shrugged "I have no idea". Seonghwa knew he'd annoyed Hongjoong with his comments about you but figured one more wouldn't hurt. "So did you lie to Y/n about having a new girlfriend or...?" he asked the second he and San got home and both boys froze. Hongjoong looked at him "you spoke to Y/n?". "Yeah because you were clearly hiding something" San said. Hongjoong shook his head "I can't believe you'd go behind my back like that. What about trust?". "Well we weren't really betraying you" San said "Y/n said it to us and we asked her what she meant when you clearly weren't being honest. You want to talk about trust hyung honesty is included in that?". "You want honesty? Fine but you're not going to like it!" Hongjoong said "yes when I broke up with Y/n I said it was because I'd met someone else when I hadn't". "But why?" Seonghwa asked. "Because of this" Hongjoong said scrolling on his phone until he found something and he pushed it towards them. There were a series of photos of the two of you clearly on some sort of date. There were photos of you sat at a table together, walking hand in hand and kissing. "I was shown these by our manager a few months ago. They'd been approached by a magazine and they managed to pay them off but imagine if they didn't. These could've ruined Y/n's career!". "So you broke up with her to stop it from happening again?" Seonghwa asked and Hongjoong nodded before turning to San "which I know you'll have a problem with..." he started and San nodded "you bet I do! Some stupid paparazzi is no reason to throw away someone who makes you happy". "Even if it will protect them?" Hongjoong asked and San shook his head "the threat was stopped and even if it wasn't you could've got through it together. That's what couples do! They support and stand by one another!" San said but Hongjoong didn't look convinced. "The thing is San you're romantic. You think everything is simple and love fixes everything but it doesn't. You don't live in the real world". "I don't?" San asked "you're the one who ran away from your problems instead of facing them". "Ran away" Hongjoong asked and San nodded "I don't think this is so much about protecting Y/n as you being scared! You were scared this would hurt her or that something would damage your relationship and instead of dealing with it decided to throw in the towel and run. You broke up with a woman you love without even telling her why! I call that immature avoidance". Seonghwa could tell the conversation was escalating and tried to calm it down. "San, don't be harsh. I'm sure Hongjoong considered all the options". Hongjoong shook his head "I didn't because there were none to consider. I thought what can protect Y/n and went for it". "But did you even ask her if she wanted protecting?" San asked "maybe she'd be happy taking the risk for you". That idea had honestly never occurred to Hongjoong and he blinked confused at the idea "but why would she?". "Because she loves you" San said "nothing's without risks but loving someone is a really good reason to take one...but you didn't give her that choice". "No because even if she said she wanted to take the risk, if we got caught and I ruined her career I'd never be able to forgive myself. I'm happy being the villain as long as she's safe". "Are you though? Happy I mean?" San asked "hyung I'm not trying to be mean just I think you made a mistake and underestimated Y/n. She deserved the right to fight for her relationship and you didn't give it to her...". Hongjoong had never thought of that either and he rubbed his brow. "Okay that's a lot for tonight how about we take a break?" Seonghwa asked. San nodded and gave Hongjoong a hug "I'm sorry if I upset you". "No you didn't...thanks for caring. I've got a lot to think about". After you finished work that day and you finally had some time to think your mind went to San and Seonghwa and why they came all the way here just to ask you to elaborate. They'd clearly been surprised with Hongjoong's breakup reason and you didn't know if that was bad or good. If they didn't know who the new girlfriend was then was there actually a new girl or had it just been a convenient excuse for Hongjoong to end things with you? Had he just wanted an out and lied to discourage you from trying to get him to keep trying? The only explanations you could think of weren't good and once again you found Hongjoong on your mind. It seemed to be better when you were at work as you had something to distract you so you started coming in early and staying late. You were there late one week when you heard a group of idols finish for the day. It was EXO and they all greeted you wishing you a goodnight before Kai appeared at the end and smiled at you. "Hey are you going this way?" he asked and you shook your head "no, my car's in the shop so I'm just going to walk. Kai frowned "no you're not, it's late and dark just let me drive you home". You tried to disagree but Kai insisted and you found yourself in his very nice car trying not to admire it too openly. You chatted about your days before, with a smile Kai turned to you "so how's Seonghwa?". "Seonghwa?" you asked "from Ateez?" and he nodded "yeah he came to see you the other day right?". "Oh yeah" you nodded "how did you know that?". "I spotted him and San looking lost and pointed them in your direction. He a good-looking guy huh?". You nodded smiling "yeah I guess..." and Kai shrugged "just if a guy like that asked you out, I'm sure he'd be worth giving a shot". You smiled "me and Seonghwa? no!" and Kai pouted "aww why? He's a really nice guy!". "He is but I...I broke up with Hongjoong a few months ago". "Shit really?" Kai asked "how long were you together?". "Nearly 3 years" you said and Kai gasped before frowning "so is Seonghwa trying to put the moves on you or...". "No! He was asking me about Hongjoong" you laughed before going serious "apparently Hongjoong's reason for dumping me isn't the same one he gave them". "That's so weird...even weirder than him breaking up with you". You shook your head "the weird part was I didn't see it coming. There was no build-up or arguments or tension. He just came home one day and told me there was someone else". Kai winced "I'm sorry Y/n that really sucks". You shrugged "it's okay it happened a while ago now". "Then why are San and Seonghwa investigating it?" he asked and you shrugged "I have no id...." before the sentence died on your lips. "Is that your house?" Kai asked stopping where the satnav told him to and you nodded. "Want me to come get rid of him?" Kai asked and you shook your head "it's okay, I'll see what he has to say" and got out of the car to head towards Hongjoong who was waiting on your doorstep.

"Hongjoong...are you okay?" you asked as you got closer and he nodded "I'm okay just can we talk?". You thought if you said no he'd surely burst after coming all this way for this purpose and so nodded "okay". Hongjoong followed you inside, literally following you as you walked around switching lights on. So much so, you nearly bumped into him when you came out of the kitchen. "Why don't we sit?" you suggested and Hongjoong nodded "yeah yeah let's sit". You sat across from him and Hongjoong took a breath before beginning "so I know San and Seonghwa came to see you". You nodded "they did, to ask about you". Hongjoong nodded "so I might not've been completely honest with you and San's convinced me that's wrong and you deserve the truth". You nodded holding your breath and then Hongjoong said it "so there was nobody else, I didn't break up with you because I wanted to date another girl". You tried to just nod and act like it didn't hurt he'd come up with some reason to ditch you but it didn't work. “You know you could've just told me if you wanted to break up" you said "there was no need to make a fool of me". Hongjoong paused "that wasn't what I was doing". "Wasn't it?" you asked "I feel like such an idiot saying that to San and Seonghwa. What did you think would happen if you told me you no longer wanted to be together? That i'd refuse or be some crazy stalker? You didn't need an excuse to get out of our relationship Hongjoong!". "That's not why I said it, I didn't want out of our relationship and it wasn't an excuse. It was something I had to do to protect you" he replied and you froze "what?". Hongjoong explained the photo and why that meant things had to end. You were quiet and he asked if you were okay. "I just don't understand" you said and Hongjoong nodded "well my company had paid the paper off..." but you shook your head "no I get the blackmail but why did you decide that meant we had to end things? Without even telling me either?" you said and Hongjoong sighed. "It was the only way I could think to protect you". "But who said I wanted protecting?" you asked and it was almost exactly what San had said. "So if I'd have told you, what would you have said? Wouldn't you have been worried?". You looked at him "honestly no? Hongjoong I know what I got myself into dating you and that the worst case scenario would be seeing photos of us all over the newspapers but your company handled it and we might never have had another instance like that". "But there was no guaranteeing that and if it did get out you could've lost your job". "Do you did all this based on a potential potential?" you asked annoyed and Hongjoong sighed "I guess yeah". You took a deep breath unsure how you were feeling when a question occurred to you. "Okay so why now". "What?" Hongjoong asked and you looked at him "why tell me now?". Hongjoong paused as if he genuinely hadn't considered this question. "I don't know I guess after speaking with San I felt it was my duty to tell you" he said but sounded very unsure. You took a breath "right well honestly I think I would've preferred to think you had some new girlfriend instead". "Really?" Hongjoong asked "instead of knowing I cared for you enough to leave? To protect you?". "What use is protecting me if you're gone? Instead of leaving to keep me safe I would've wanted you to stay so we can face it together...that would've done more for me" you said and Hongjoong went quiet. "I guess I got everything wrong" he said "I thought I was helping...even tonight and all I've done is make things worse". You didn't know what to say to that because yes he had but you knew Hongjoong. He was smart enough to know this wouldn't be a sunny conversation and he wouldn't have hurt you for no reason. "What else do you want to say?" you asked "why else did you come here?". Hongjoong looked at you about to deny it when he saw your expression and sighed "I forgot you know me, I guess I was...hoping you'd change my mind or something" he said. "About our break up? You dumping me?" you asked. Hongjoong raised his hands "I know that sounds bad, I've caused all this and then come to you to fix it but I genuinely thought there was only one option to keep you safe from my life. Then when San started speaking about how you might've wanted to fight alongside me and stick with me, I was very confused and really sad. The idea that I could've had that and then threw it away" he sighed "so that's why I'm here" he said looking at you and that's when you lost it. You shot onto your feet and shook your head "no Hongjoong! You don't get to come here and ask me to fight for our relationship. Not after you lied and dumped me, ghosted me for weeks, then reappeared and told me the painful truth. How is it now my responsibility to save this?". "No it's not!" he said also rising to his feet "I guess I'm asking if you would still like to fight for us? If you'd take me back?" he asked. His question hung in the air unanswered and you didn't know what to say. "I think I need time to think about it" you told him "it's a lot to take in" and Hongjoong nodded "of course! Just call or text me when you want to talk again. Or if your answer is no I guess you don't have to see me, you can just text me...unless you want to tell me face to face. Basically just let me know" he said and you nodded "okay". Hongjoong nodded "okay, thanks for speaking to me, I'll leave now. Bye Y/n" and he rushed from your house. The next day at work Kai saw you pull up in the carpark and waited for you. "So how was it with Hongjoong?" Kai asked "are you two back together again?". You frowned "who told you that? Has Hongjoong been telling people?". "Wait shit it's true?" Kai asked "Y/n I was just guessing, is that seriously what happened?". You took a deep breath of relief realising it wasn't everywhere and shook your head. "Well kind of, he asked if I would take him back I just haven't decided yet". "Oh" Kai said "why do you not love him anymore?". You shook your head immediately "no I do" surprising yourself at your instinctive response. Kai noticed and smiled softly "okay so what's stopping you?". You sighed "you don't want to hear all the drama" but Kai shook his head "are you kidding? I live for this!". You chuckled as he said that and nodded "okay but it's long and boring". Kai nodded "well let's do it right then". Kai came with you to your studio, walked over to the manager and told him you were going on a coffee run with him and would be back later. Your manager nodded and just like that you were both heading to a coffee shop. "Perks of being a veteran idol" Kai smiled "now tell me everything". You explained the whole story and what Hongjoong had broken up with you for. When you finished Kai's face was in a serious thinking expression. He nodded "I get your predicament I do, logically there's no reason you should take him back". You blinked at Kai's abruptness "you think?". Kai nodded "you have no proof he won't do something similar again and he was reckless and a bit of a coward...but I think you should take him back". "What!" you cried "you just said I shouldn't take him back". "No I said there's no logical reason why but logic isn't everything. Emotions and the heart matter too and I can tell you want him back". "Well of course I do!" you agreed "but just because you want something doesn't mean it's fated or something that's good for you". "And just because someone did something bad doesn't make them a bad person" Kai argued back "Yes what Hongjoong did was wrong but he came back. He's back now doing the right thing and I think that bodes well. Do you know how much courage that must've taken him to show up at your front door? To tell you everything?". "But I...don't know what will happen if I take him back" you said and Kai nodded "I know and that's scary but regret is way scarier. Plus Hongjoong lost you once, I don't think he'll make the same mistake twice. If you genuinely want him go and take him". At Kai's final sentence, you stood up abruptly and nodded "you're right, I'm going to go get him!" and headed for the door. Kai jumped up too "well I didn't mean right now we have work" but when he saw the look in your eye he shook his head "you know what go and I'll make up some excuse". You nodded "thanks Kai you're the best! I'll be one hour" and you ran out the door. The Ateez HQ was a short 15-minute walk away or a 5-minute one if you were walking as fast as you were. The doormen recognised you and so waved you through without any challenge and you hurried up to the Ateez floor. You had no idea where Hongjoong would be on it but headed down one of the corridors hoping to see him. You rounded a corner and heard a familiar laugh. Wooyoung was messing around with Yunho and who was behind them trying to get them to stop but Hongjoong? Wooyoung and Yunho saw you and froze and Hongjoong nodded "yes thank you for listening to me, can we be adults now?" when Wooyoung pointed. Hongjoong turned around and saw you "Y/n?" he asked jumping "are you okay? Are you looking for me? Is this about what we discussed?". "Yes!" you said and Hongjoong nodded "okay yes to which questions?".  "How about the one you asked me at my house?" you replied and Hongjoong paused "wait do you mean...". You nodded "my answer is yes Hongjoong" and that beautiful smile you'd missed so much appeared on Hongjoong's face. "You mean you'll take me back?" Hongjoong asked coming towards you and you nodded "I missed you". Hongjoong finally reached you and gathered you into his arms. "I missed you so fucking much!" he cried hugging you and soon you were both crying holding onto one another. You both had your eyes closed so didn't realise the whole of Ateez had gathered until you heard a sniff. You looked up and saw all the boys gathered by the doorway and San, Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Mingi were all genuinely tearful. "Are you crying?" you asked and Wooyoung nodded "so? You are too!". "But it's my relationship" you laughed and Wooyoung cried "so?" loudly, making everyone laugh. "You're just too sweet" San said and Hongjoong shrugged "I guess that's true" making you smile and look at him. "What?" Hongjoong asked and you shook your head "I just never thought things would be like this again". Hongjoong nodded "me either but Y/n I promise I'm not making the same mistake again. I'll never leave your side to protect you again". You smiled "good, we're always stronger together" and Hongjoong nodded "fuck yes" and kissed you making all the boys squeal/scream. You broke apart laughing and Hongjoong shooed them "are you off work today?". "No I've got...34 minutes" you said checking your watch "want to spend them together?". Hongjoong nodded "definitely, come on" and he led you out of the door and into the sunshine.   Hongjoong never let anything drive the two of you apart again.

[sgojoenthusiast]

post breakup sex with jjk characters

• geto - part 2

<- previous part 

     next part ->

‘she’s breaking down i’m ‘bout to lose it, i’m screaming who the fuck were you with’

CW: smut, toxicity, irresponsible drinking, degrading, humiliation, blowjob, nicknames (princess, baby), rough sex, biting, choking, slapping, dumbification.

word count: 3.1k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

“Why were you even with her if you knew she was tryna fuck you then?”

Geto was pissed. He was drunk and incredibly angry.

You were equally as angry, yet painfully stubborn and irritating as a result of your drunkenness.

“How come you think so fucking little of me? You really think I'd cheat on you? You know what, you wanna break up with me?” he stormed over to your drunk body, held up by the wall’s support. “Fine. go on then, I’m not stopping you. Why the fuck should i be with someone who refuses to listen to my fucking explanation?”

“You wanna fucking explain? I don't need an explanation geto! I watched as you guys kissed right in front of me! To think we’ve been together for years and you-”

“I pushed her off goddammit! If you had looked for a second longer, you would have seen that I pushed her off! I would never do that to you!”

“I’m fucking done.” you slurred, stumbling out angrily. “Go fuck her if you wanna but remember who’ll actually make you cum” you mumbled on your way out, almost so quietly that he wouldn’t have heard had he not had his head in his arms against the wall in silence.

“Fuck off then.” he snapped drunkenly back.

•••

One week. It had been one week since your feud with geto and it felt like hell.

You woke up hungover and with little memory of the events, however, the mind of geto kissing that girl lingered in your mind.

Truth be told, you were looking for about half a second. She had her hand on his jaw and her lips on his. His eyes were wide and his grip on her wrist firm.

What you didn’t see was how when you turned your back, he pulled her wrist away and pushed her back to break the kiss repeating the same phrase he had told her several times that night: “I have a girlfriend.”

You had a gut feeling that both of you getting drunk would lead to complications, it always does. Every massive fight has started with both of you hammered and picking apart something and making it bigger than it actually is. Making it bigger than it is without having seen the full picture.

You felt this fight was permanent as your eyes told you he cheated, causing a hole in your heart to erupt and affect every part of you immensely.

The lack of communication on geto’s behalf certainly wasn’t helping.

It wasn’t until you sat in a pub, drinking away your sorrows, that you realised what had happened.

“You’re that dude’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” she sits beside you. “Can you apologise to him for me? I was totally drunk and I wouldn't have kissed him had I actually been in the right headspace to process his words.”

You’re taken aback a bit. At first, you were shocked at her audacity. However, her words interested you a bit. “I'm sorry, what?”

“You are his girl, right? Ge- Geto, I think his name was? He totally pushed me off when I kissed him and I'm so embarrassed that I even tried, especially after he told me about you like 7 times.” Her head fell dramatically into her hands, mocking the whole situation as though it hadn’t become a big deal.

But was it? Had he really been telling the truth? Shit you’ve fucked up. Surely he’d forgive you, right? I mean, from your perspective, all you saw was him locking lips with some girl he’d just met. You were understandably mad, so he can’t blame you for that, right?

Wrong.

Oh so very wrong.

He leant against the door frame, smirking down at you with tired eyes.

“So you wanna come crawling back after dumping me ‘cause you’re too fuckin’ stubborn to see the whole picture? Who’d you take me for, princess?”

He looked as though he hadn’t slept since your argument. You couldn’t blame him though as you spent your nights tossing and turning trying to decipher where you were lacking - what she had and you didn’t.

“Sugu, surely you understand my point of view? This whole situation is just a misunderstanding! Please can we just talk it through and try to understand each other“ you reasoned, though your words fell upon deaf ears as he went to slam the door. “You’re behaving ridiculously, Geto” you scolded him.

His mind felt as though it would blow up. He had spent the time without you in agony. The fact you had so little trust in him after all this time left a permanent scar in your relationship in which trust was a necessity. And then, you come strutting up to his apartment claiming you know the whole truth and how you want to go back to normal. He had spent a week with his heart in shreds at your lack of will to try only for you to listen to a woman you’ve never spoken to over him, your boyfriend.

Though, his true problem was how his clenched fist was leaving crescent shaped marks in his palm from restraining himself from pulling you into his arms. You would be the death of him.

“Fine then, come in. We’ll talk this shit through but if I don't like what you’re saying,” he stalked dangerously closer to you, “you won’t like what happens afterwards, princess.”

With his vague threat leaving you speechless and shivering, you stepped hesitantly through the door that had shown you into nothing but a homely welcome the countless other times you stepped through. This time, however, felt tense and you were desperate to turn back yet you were determined to fix this.

“Look, I know you’re pissed off because I didn’t believe you, yet you have to understand what I saw that night, Sugu-”

“Sure but d’you know what I saw? A stubborn brat who’s trust issues led her to jump to a conclusion despite having only looked at the situation for hardly a second.” he snapped back, slamming the door violently.

“Sugu, I was devastated! What would you just sit and stare if I kissed someone in front of you?” you attempted to reason.

“For fuck’s sake I didn’t kiss her!”

a never ending pattern of recycling arguments and trying to understand each other only led to sore throats and dried up tears as you were standing outside of suguru’s bedroom door, which he had stormed into mid-argument.

Your relationship has always been solid and stable. Sure, there were minor conflicts here and there yet nothing that led you both to having backs against the same door as you tried to reason with each other with the little breath you had left.

“Sugu, I hate this. Surely you’re not giving up because of one rough patch?”

“Fuck’s sake, princess. You don’t trust me and you don’t see where you’re wrong, either”

You were clinging onto any shred of hope or positivity. You wanted things back to how they were yet, Geto made this no easier by his lack of wanting to apologise and forgive you.

Your tear stained cheek was pressed against the wooden door as you heard shuffling and a lock clicking behind it. You shuffled back swiftly as he hesitantly opened the door.

His eyes shone dangerously dim, a worn out smirk rested on his lips as he looked you up and down. “You’re not even sorry, are you baby? You’re not sorry, ‘cause you don’t think you have to be. Ain’t that right?”

You sighed, “You want me to apologise? fine, then i’m-”

“Don’t. Don’t unless you fucking mean it.”

Your thoughts were all over the place at his confusing behaviour and words.

“I do mean it, Sugu. It was wrong of me not to trust you and I was wrong to jump to conclusions when-”

“This past week has been the worst since before we first started dating. I’ve been a fucking mess, princess. Everything reminds me of you and I can't take it. Shit, I can't even hate you right now because all I can see is your lips as they retaliate. You can’t even begin to comprehend the absurd feelings I have for you. I can’t even fucking tell whether I wanna be fucking you dumb against my door, or holding you and apologising or if I should slam the door in your face. You complicate shit and I can't stand it- I can't stand you.”

“You can’t stand me?”

Your throat was dry and your mind was blank. So much so that you hadn’t realised your back was against his door frame as he hovered over you intimidatingly.

Your mind so blank you hadn’t realised when his lips were on yours and then on your neck and moving down your chest as he picked you up by your thighs and caressed them gently before holding them in a bruising grip to convey his anger.

“I can’t fucking stand you.”

Geto carries you purposefully towards his bed, immediately placing his lips back on yours as he does so, as though your lips give him life.

He wasn’t lying. He can't stand you. He can’t stand your laugh, voice, hair, body or anything that you do because those things make him feel powerless and weak, they punch him straight in the stomach whenever you’re present however before, he would have died to even be touched by you. Now, though he’s fuelled by his undying adoration and desperation, he can't help but communicate the betrayal he feels by his lack of delicacy when handling you now. He can’t help but feel as though your lack of trust was just the twist of the blade in his heart during this relationship.

On the other hand, you cherished every second with him in case he decided to cut you off. You knew you fucked up, yet you knew your reasoning that the couldn’t discern.

Geto dropped you on the bed carelessly, whereas before, he’d handle you with the utmost fragility as though you could shatter any minute.

“You wanna prove to me how sorry you are, baby?” you nodded hesitantly, concerned for what he may have in mind yet not willing to toss away the preciousness of the memories made within the past few years.

“Good girl. listen carefully, okay? I know that's not your strong suit but try your hardest for me, baby.”

Fuck, you were on fire. You felt small due to his humiliation and degradation and he hadn’t even started. You bowed your head due to his belittlement, hiding away the shame evident on your face before he grabbed your chin harshly, however at the same time with the same amount of care he used to hold you with.

“I want you to get on your knees for me, you can do that, can’t you?” you nodded your head submissively, he always knew how to get you so small underneath him. “Good girl. Surely even your dumb brain knows what to do now, huh? C’mon baby.”

He glared down at you, radiating with power he had stolen from you. His fuel was your embarrassment and submission. He thrived on getting you to submit to him and do as you’re told.

Strands of hair began to fall out his bun, sticking to his forehead which only emphasised the fury within his eyes, hiding away the concern he felt for you at the same time.

A concealed smile began to creep its way upon his face as you slowly unbuckled his belt and lowered his jeans. Your eyes never left his menacing ones as you freed his hard cock and spat on it lewdly. “Do you wanna do that a bit faster, princess? Making me wait won't make this any easier for you.'' Although he spoke a question, you had little room to decide as he grabbed the back of your head and forced your lips to where he craved them to be, nudging his cock against them forcing you to part your lips.

He kept his grip firm on your head, yet he allowed you to move freely and didn’t push you further onto his cock, as tempting as it sounded to him. “Nothin’ stopping me from using you as a toy, baby, so pick up the pace, will ya?”

Anyone who respected themself would have immediately disobeyed, and whilst you knew your worth, something about the way geto spoke to you urged you to do as he says. His words were compelling and you were infatuated with every one of them as they controlled your mind. So, with his words processed in your head, you took every inch of him quicker, choking and gagging repetitively on his cock, tears welling up in your eyes from the invasion.

He grunted and moaned, eyes finally tearing from yours as he threw his head back, finally throwing praises at your ears, telling you how good you were being for him. He stroked your head tentatively as you struggled around him, head bobbing up and down, hands clawing at the material of his jeans.

Seeing him so pleased by your mouth caused you to grind up on yourself, moaning around his dick, the vibrations earning a tighter grip on your head. “F-fuck- you sorry baby? Say you’re fucking sorry. Oh wait, you can’t.” he pouted down at you, chuckling at the sight of you. “Poor thing, choking on my cock like that, so pathetic. You want mercy baby? Tough shit.”

He pulled your head off him roughly. “Get on the bed.”

He tugged off his clothes as you climbed on the bed, soon following his actions and removing your clothes, leaving you in your underwear on his bed.

He leaned down and encased you in his arms, lips closing on your skin, tongue travelling across your neck, then your chest, and soon your legs. He bit down on your skin harshly, looking up to see your pained reaction as you chewed on your bottom lip.

He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder as his fingers traced your thighs, however, you knew better than to beg him for more until he said so. His touch was gentle and light as his fingers dragged across your skin and over your panties until his thumb pressed down on your clit, causing your lips to part for a yelp to leave them.

All he did was bark out a brief laugh at your pathetic reaction and continue to torture you slowly. “Jesus, fuck- you always this wet after we argue, huh?” he smacked your thigh harshly at your lack of a response. “That was a question, princess.”

You parted your lips to answer, but before anything but a moan could come out, geto had his skilled fingers rubbing at your clit under your panties.

“Fuuu- yes!”

“Yeah, baby? What a slut, getting wet at me shouting at you. Tell me you’re a slut, baby, c’mon”

“’M a slut, Sugu.” you slurred as he pulled down your panties for full access to your cunt, fingers working their way inside you as his thumb played with your aching clit.

You moaned pathetically at his touch, pushing yourself onto his fingers in a desperate attempt for him to speed up, yet all he did was pull away from you, scoffing at you.

“Beg for my cock, baby. Make it good, put on a show f’me, will you? C’mon, beg for it.”

You wasted absolutely no time. Not a second of hesitation.

“Please Sugu! I can't take it anymore, need you inside me badly. Pleasepleasepleaseee Sugu I need your cock- please!”

His smile brightened before he shut you up with his lips on yours. His tongue found its way inside you as the kiss deepened, a whine erupting out your throat before he pulled off to stare at you closely. His hand raised to slap you across the face, yet all you could do in return was moan and buck your hips up desperately.

His lips found yours again and his hand found your throat. “Such a good girl, yeah?” he murmured against you before straightening himself up and lining himself up with your pussy.

He pushed himself in, deep and slow.

He looked godly as his hair stuck to his forehead, gaps of light coming from the closed curtains were drawn to him, highlighting his beauty and presenting him in an angelic way as he thrusted himself in you.

You watched him with half-closed eyes, your hand gripping the pillow behind you and your back arching at his touch.

He dragged himself in and out of you at a leisurely pace, though his thrusts only got harder.

In no time, you were screaming around his cock with his hand around your throat. “If you scream any louder, you’ll alert the neighbours.” he stated, taking the hand around your throat and pushing two of his fingers into your mouth which you immediately began to suck. His cock pummelling in and out of you, the feeling clouding your brain as he whispered lewd words and chanted forbidden phrases into the air.

“God- your pussy is so fucking perfect baby. You’re driving me insane. I like you more with my fingers down your throat and my dick stuffin’ you full, don’t ‘ya think?”

All you could do was agree because, fuck, did you like his dick filling you up. You loved all thoughts but Suguru leaving your head as his dick fucked you hard.

He lifted your legs up to your chest and slithered the hand that was in your mouth down to your pussy, stroking brutally at your clit.

Everything felt so heavenly as the knot inside you was about to snap. Geto felt you tighten around him and he knew you were about to cum. “Not until i say so, alright, baby?”

You nodded brainlessly, waiting for his permission.

He kept his pace, reaching closer and closer to his own high. The feeling of you so tight around him had his brain reeling, though he tried to drag it out as long as he could.

He pulled one of your legs to the side, allowing him to lean forward and capture your lips, biting down slowly. He moved his way to your neck, nipping and kissing slightly. All this only added to the sensation of one of his hands on your pussy, the other gripping your thigh and his dick slamming into you.

He moved down to your chest and took one of your breasts into his mouth, tongue running smoothly over your hardening nipple.

You gasped for air, not being able to take anymore, and luckily enough before you could tell geto it was too much, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore, his head pulled back up to your ear and whispered gently into it, granting you permission to cum as he bit the bottom of your ear.

Your cunt fluttered around him as you let all the sensations that would cause you to cum overtake you. You whined and moaned in suguru’s ear, and shortly enough, he let himself go and came inside of you, filling you up.

He groaned deeply, his head falling in between your head and shoulder as he panted heavily and came deeply inside you.

He kissed up your neck until he reached your lips and hovered over them, eyes shut lightly. He opened them up to meet your own gazing back at him.

“Bet you’re sorry now, huh?”

[givemea-dam-break]

that funny feeling (locklyle)

a/n: this is my first locklyle fic please by kind lmfao. convinced to write this by the amazing @neewtmas and @waitingforthesunrise, so i hope you all enjoy this - it was inspired by the locklyle angst playlist a bunch of us have going so be warned :) this also brings holly munro into the story, but don't worry if you haven't read the books because i don't mention her too much. it isn't too long since i'm just testing the waters for my locklyle stuff lol

warnings: big sad taglist: @wellgoslowly @galactidiot

part 2

The days were beginning to melt together.

How long had he been lying here, hoping, praying, for Lucy to come back? For her to walk through the front door, bags in hand, declaring that she was coming back? That she never meant to leave? A few weeks, maybe. Or was it months? He had lost track of time.

Her absence was a tangible thing, something that he could reach out and feel so acutely that its sharp, jagged edges sliced his fingertips and cut deep into his heart. But, even still, sometimes he'd forget. He'd make her a cup of tea in the morning, just how she liked it - more milk than he or George would take, sometimes with a spoonful of honey if she wanted a little sweetness - only for it to sit atop the counter, growing cold. Neither he nor George had the heart to empty it into the sink. Holly would arrive, expecting it, and dump it out, but Lockwood knew that it pained her to do so too.

Waiting was useless. There were things that needed to get done. Cases for Lockwood and Co were piling up after the antics of last November, and they were steadily gaining a reputation. He needed to focus on that. On the thing he had always wanted.

But what was it worth when the one person he wanted most wasn't there, right by his side?

Part of him hoped that Lucy would see his pictures in the newspaper. Maybe she'd miss him as much as he did her, maybe it would be the thing that made her realise that she didn't need to leave. That she could come back.

He still couldn't make sense of her sudden resignation. She was worried that she couldn't control her Talents well enough, that she'd put them all in danger. But how could she? When she was the very thing that had saved Lockwood time and time again?

So, there he lay, sprawled on the attic's bed. The bed she once lay in night after night for years now. It still smelled like her; of lavender and some nice soap he couldn't distinguish. His excuse? This room was once his, and he was feeling reminiscent. He missed looking out of the window onto the street behind Portland Row, down into the back garden where the apple trees stood tall. He missed the warmth that flooded the room during the day, and the calm, soothing cool at night.

Everyone knew better, and he knew that, too.

Sometimes he'd just lie there, thoughtless and quiet. Other times, he would talk as if Lucy was there in the room with him. He'd practice his speech, the one he'd use to finally get her back, gazing at the picture he kept on her nightstand - one of the two of them and George she'd taken on an old camera she'd found stuffed in the wardrobe. She'd run down the stairs excitedly, demanding a picture, and George was forced into it, which his half-smiling expression showed. If Lockwood looked close enough, he could see the faint green glow on the lower right side of all of their faces from Skull, who had been pulling horrid faces at them.

He loved that picture with his whole heart. Her smile, so radiant, was completely and entirely entrancing, and she just seemed so, so happy with her face pressed up against his. So what went wrong?

Heaving a sigh, he released the pillow he so often clung to desperately like a child, and sat up. There were things that needed to be done. Research for a case. Make some new salt bombs. Have a shower. Had he already had one? He couldn't very well remember.

He could hear George clattering around downstairs doing God knows what - he wasn't too fond of the idea of finding out, petrified at the thought of finding his best friend half-naked doing some sort of yoga again - and there was Holly just down the stairs, muttering something or other. She did that often now. He could never tell what it was she was saying, but he recognised the lost look in her eyes. She and Lucy may not have been on the best of terms, but she missed her. Badly.

This was always the worst part. Starting the day.

Without Lucy, the whole routine felt empty. Where was her smile, or her snarky comments directed at Skull, the same ones he often worried were actually for him? Where were those bright eyes that would look at him with such happiness when he paid her a - supposedly - mindless compliment? Or the moments where she'd put him in his place with just a few words? Oh, how he missed those dearly.

It always left a funny feeling in his chest, thinking about those times. A mixture of a strange grief, a mourning for someone who had not died but rather had left of their own volition, and of horrible loss, almost like losing a limb. Like losing a crucial part of himself. Because, really, that's what Lucy was to him. She was everything.

Even still, he dragged himself from her bed, lingering for a moment in the doorway of the bedroom like he always did, before trudging down, down, down to the kitchen.

Relieved to find George not in the midst of a horrific yoga demonstration, but rather shoving pots and pans into the cupboards, he brewed himself some tea.

He tried to ignore the way his hand hovered in front of Lucy's mug, which was stained from the tea they never seemed to be able to fully scrub away, and sat at the table, staring into the murky brown of his brew. Lucy always made it look so much more appealing.

No matter how hard he tried to disregard the little things, she seemed to be everywhere he looked. There was a sketch on the thinking cloth of Inspector Barnes as an elephant, tooting his trunk. And, there, the vase of flowers she'd set during their last meal together, a bundle of long-since-wilted lilacs she'd picked from the back garden. Over on the counter, there was a large circular ring where Skull would often reside, covered by a teatowel, and it was as if his evil had seeped from the silverglass and into the countertop, never to be removed.

Lockwood wondered if Skull, as crude as he was, was at least keeping Lucy company. He'd hate for her to be on her own.

"I don't know how Holly does this," George grumbled. He shoved another pan into the cupboard haphazardly. "It's impossible."

As if on cue, the pans toppled, crashing down around George and onto the floor. Holly appeared seconds later, scolding him as she easily slotted them in and shut the door.

Like every other day, there was a certain tension in the air that none of them seemed to be able to shake, no matter how hard they tried. Holly could bring all the almond-iced doughnuts she could carry; George could make the most absurd comments to ever have graced this earth to make them laugh; hell, Lockwood could smile and charm all he wanted, but it never amounted to anything. Not without Lucy.

He had been searching for a reason to get her back since the day he'd left her at that café, too frustrated and dejected to even try and continue the conversation. Were there any cases he could hire her for now that she was an independent agent? That seemed like the only logically sound way to get her to be with them again. To be with him. He couldn't just turn up to her new flat, so far away from Portland Row, and beg her to come home. No matter how badly he wished he could.

So, he picked up his newspaper and flicked through it, hoping to forget about her for just a moment.

But it was impossible. How could one simply forget about Lucy Carlyle? Lucy Carlyle and her jibes; Lucy Carlyle and her beautiful smile and eyes; Lucy Carlyle and the warmth she provided Lockwood with. Especially when her adverts were in the paper.

Lockwood could not forget about her for even a moment, something he had come to realise every single day since she'd left. Not after she'd allowed him to feel. To feel pure joy and humour and wonderful frustration and love.

That's perhaps what hurt the most about it all. Not her reasoning. Not the suddenness of it. Rather, the things she'd arisen inside of him, feelings he hadn't truly allowed since the deaths of his family. Letting people in was far too real, and he didn't want to permit them to the same fates as the other people he had loved and lost. But Lucy, oh, Lucy. She was supposed to be different. She was supposed to stay.

But she left, and he missed her more than should ever be possible. He knew he should've expected it, but he had allowed himself to hope. Lucy had sparked that hope inside of him, and even now it still lingered, waiting for her to return.

He was stupid for it, he knew. It was the only thing that kept him going - the notion that she may decide that she was wrong and come back to him. But it was unlikely to happen. So he had to come to terms with it, as would Holly and George.

And, so, her seat would stay vacant. Her mug would remain stained. Lockwood would creep into her room at night, falling asleep under the watchful eye of her photograph. All the while, she would sleep beneath a different roof, under the same sky, so, so far from him.

[findafight]

I’m gonna admit, the whole “Robin and Steve share a girlfriend” thing kind of came to me when I was imagining how Steve and Vickie would get along.

As many people (I think including you?) have pointed out they have pretty much the same sense of humour, and seem to enjoy the same movies.

I see Steve being a “third wheel” on a lot of Robin and Vickie’s dates, in part because of rides and in part to make certain situations look less date-y. Or look more like one of the girls is third-wheeling by holding hands, doing the hand to the small of the back thing. Which sometimes leads to situations where Robin is kind of puppeteering Steve; “Steve, look at Vickie, she’s so cold! I can’t believe you’re not offering her your coat - what kind of boyfriend are you?”

(This comes back to bite her in the my ass a couple times when Steve will loudly announce “Robin, I cannot believe you’re just going to take the slice without offering it to Vickie, what kind of boyfriend are you?”, allowing Vickie to turn the puppy eyes on Robin.

He has done this a couple times in front of the kids, which they all find weird, but also assume it to be either one of Steve and Robin’s *deeply* unfunny inside jokes or part of an argument on the road to the realisation that they are in fact in deep denial about 1. Being in love and 2. That they have gone down a Super Mario pipe, skipped over all the interesting parts of romance and landed in their “old married couple” phase)

It’s all very confusing for Vickie. Like, she gets a kiss on the cheek from Steve so Robin can kiss her on the other cheek under the guise of making fun of the sappy couple - or else she gets a kiss from Robin and Steve gives her a kiss on the cheek to actually make fun of them. But she also gets forehead kisses from Steve to say hello and goodbye - which he doesn’t think is a big deal. He does that to Robin all the time - it would probably be rude to leave Vickie out, right? Or make her feel weird, left out. Things are not helped by the fact that Robin sometimes expresses her love via Steve. If Vickie’s upset, she’ll hug her, but she’ll also make Steve hug her, because he gives the *best* hugs!

Like, yeah, they’re a soul cut in half or whatever, but seriously - is this some kind of test? Does Steve think that she’s going to chest on Robin and is trying to prove it? Has Robin put him up to this because she thinks Vickie needs/wants wooing by *both* a girl and a boy? (She’s recently come out to her younger sister as “bisexual” and one of her questions was “so can you only have threesomes now?” Vickie is *going through it*, folks!)

Eventually she sits them down to try and talk it out, because this morning she woke up wearing a mix of both their clothes and she has some important assignments coming up at school, guys, SHE CANNOT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!

(There is a moment of silence as both Robin and Steve both fight to repress the urge to yell at each other that *this* is what that girl Janet that dumped Steve the other week was talking about!)

All hail Vickie, the bisexual who won *and* continued o be a disaster. no one is doing it like her!

omg sooooo good anon. I love this. VIckie is fighting for her life trying to decipher what is going on in her own relationship. is she dating Steve? is she not dating him? is she only dating robin? or both of them? Robin and Steve are weird she knew this going in but this is a bit much, right? and had to sit down for a minute because yes she woke up with Steve's shirt on and robins pants but the she saw Steve wearing her own sweater and robin wearing Steve's pants and so what does this mean? what are they doing? does she want anything to actually change?? (the answer to that she knows is no. She just wants clarity!and also is realizing that yes Steve does give the best hugs but part of that is that is Robin is there too. She's also realizing maybe kissing Steve and holding his hand is something she'd be down for more often!! help her!!)

and if she is also dating Steve she's going to have to live through the mortification of maybe telling her sister, and explaining that just because she's bisexual the throuple situation is NOT an essential part of that it just kinda happened by accident without any of the three of them noticing. and. who wants to admit that let alone to a little sister who Will Not Let It Go? poor vickie....

No one is doing it like Vickie and Stobin is not helping the situation At. All.

[oumaheroes]

ok ok I know you're probably busy and all and you just wrote something for an anon buuuuut im begging for some ireland and north bonding, i loved reading your england and north fic seeing england telling north no but north saying ireland would let him was hilarious tbh. need some irish bois being nice to eachother pls

All for you, Anon

------

Bog Bodies

On his haunches, North took a sip of water from his bottle with one hand and rummaged about his rucksack with the other. The findings were poor: some sandwiches at the bottom under his jacket, now partially squashed, a packet of crisps that had miraculously not popped after he’d sat on the bag forgetting that they were in there, and one lone chunk of Yellowman. Abysmal. He should have thought to pack more, he knew that this wasn’t going to be a short adventure. A Jammey Joey at least.

‘How long do you think they’ll be till they’re done?’ He asked his brother, glancing up at him and jerking his head towards the action they’d spent most of the day secretly watching. ‘Till they finish up here, like.’

Ireland shrugged lazily, ‘Until they’re done finding things, I expect. There’s a lot of peat to cover.’

‘Okay, how long till we’re done.’

‘Till it feels time to go.’

In comparison to North squatting on the floor like a grubby troll- he’d been standing for hours and he was tired- his older brother was leant against a wide, fat oak, his long arms crossed over his chest. He was looking at the happily buzzing archaeologists in the distance carefully, watching for their discoveries or any misbehaviour North couldn’t quite tell. The humans been there ever since the news of the headless corpse the day before, having swarmed the old bog as soon as they’d been alerted, and had been ferrying their equipment to and fro and generally making a big mess of the place ever since. Ireland and North had come to join them not long after, watching them map out the area and begin to excavate whilst the land owners waited on the sidelines.

North eyed Ireland’s own much fatter and well-stocked bag enviously, ‘They’ve already found the most important thing, though.’

Ireland snorted and grinned, ‘That’s subjective.’

‘Not really. Headless ancient corpse versus...?’

Ireland rolled his eyes but didn’t reply.

‘Could always be another in there, I suppose.’ North stood and shook out his feet.

‘Might well be. That sort of thing was common.’

‘They seem to be popping up all the time now.’

‘More in Denmark.’ Ireland ruffled his floppy hair off his forehead and recrossed his arms, ‘But different thing, obviously.’

A bog body was a bog body, as far as North could see. Tanned, leathery skin, well preserved nails and hair. Facial features which looked more lifelike than North would like if he were honest with himself, younger and closer to the modern day than could first be perceived considering the age of some of the finds. Many hundreds, sometimes thousands of years old. Where they came from and how they came to be in the bog in the first place was generally as unknown from one case to another, but the morbid curiosity about them was the same. Quick peeks into the past always held a draw.

This was different though, as Ireland had said. This was theirs. Or rather, the man they had found this time around chopped in half in the peat was Ireland’s.

More than even that, North realised. The discovery of this ancient person was more Patrick’s the person than anyone other than their close family would ever know. Someone he might once have known personally and things he might have owned, a culture he had once shared and understood and encompassed. His personal history as well as his people’s, depending on how old this particular find was.

‘You hoping they find something that you once dumped in there?’ North asked him, trying to sound nonchalant about the question.

Ireland let out a bark of laughter, ‘Not here. Might not look like much now but this place was special. Too special to piss about around.’

‘But you dumped stuff in other places, then.’

‘Not dumped.’ Ireland corrected, ‘I used to leave little wooden figures about here and there.’ He held up his hands about a foot apart, ‘Maybe this big. Added along to ceremonies people held or whenever I passed by alone.’

‘What for?’

‘What for is a question.’ Ireland frowned thoughtfully and glanced back out to the archaeologists. ‘Several reasons. Luck, offerings, promises. Can’t remember all of them. Copied what Mama used to do.’

Several branches of questions opened up at once. His brothers didn’t talk about their mother or childhood often- topics easily brushed off or for some reason hard to bring up in the first place- and North always felt uncomfortable poking at the former. Mama was a parent who was potentially his, but wasn’t, someone he felt that he should love and respect when she was as distant to him as a God was.

Sensing that this was an opportunity he shouldn’t waste, North carefully chose the avenue he felt would yield the most answers.

‘What were the idols of?’

‘People, Gods, us, animals.’ Ireland waved a hand, ‘I’ll make you one sometime. Been a while since I practiced. Or Alisdair can, his used to be half decent. Don’t ask Rhys though, his are shit.’

‘They might find one.’

‘Might do. Wood rots though.’

‘So does skin, and look what happened.’

A scurrying of men and women along their walkway and back to far afield cars made them both pause, something small and wrapped carried amongst them. The spiked edges of their talk floated back to their spot in the trees, high and excited. It was empty landscape, no human activity apart from the archaeology dig, but North could feel a thrum in the air, the last notes of what first called him and his brother to this place. Something he couldn’t name but which connected him to everything.

Stay, stay. Watch, and remember.

North wasn’t really too sure why he was here. This was his brother’s land after all, his brother’s ancient people and lost ways, not his, but still this was connected to him somehow. Or, it was better to say that it was something he was connected to, something that was apparently important for him to witness for his people’s benefit- the circle of time connecting him to his siblings’ past to fill him in on what he had missed.

There was so much of his brothers’ lives which came before him. North felt Croghan Hill at his back, heavy and looming in the summer sun. How many different peoples had that hill seen? How many of North’s own family, past his sibling’s mother and beyond? So many mortal lives caught in its shade, so many centuries before he’d even been thought of. What had any of this got to do with him, he who couldn’t understand the significance of what was being found.

‘This is for you too, you know.’ Ireland seemed to sense something of what North was thinking. He tilted his head to one side, his eyes still on the dig site and the treasures within, ‘All connects back to a point we’re both a part of.’

‘The bog bodies?’

‘Not just them, or any of what they find like this. What they represent.’ He turned to North, the usual jokey expression in his eyes replaced with something more serious, ‘It’s a culture that’s not here anymore but that is still a part of us, even if we can't see it. It matters the same to both of us.’

‘But it wasn’t mine is it.’ North dug his hands into his jean pockets, ‘I wasn’t alive to experience it. I don’t even know what any of that was for.’

Ireland looked at him, face unreadable, then looked away. ‘If you say so.’

North looked at him. ‘What?’

Ireland shrugged, ‘If you say so.’

‘What do you mean, if I say so?’

‘If you think this has nothing to do with you, then who am I to tell you any different.’

‘Wh- I don’t..’ North clicked his tongue, ‘What the fuck does that mean.’

‘What? You wanted me to tell you something different?’

‘No-‘

‘You want me to sit here and hold your hand and tell you there there babby, everything’ll be grand?’

‘No! Christ, fuck off, then.’

Ireland shrugged again, one armed and apathetic, and turned away. North felt his cheeks heat up.

‘It’s true, isn’t it? That out there’s for you, that’s your old people.’

‘Sure.’

‘Well then. Then, what’s it got to do with me?’

Ireland shook his head, his mouth downturned in disappointment or frustration. ‘Why are you asking me? You seem to have your own opinion.’

‘Why’d you have to be a cunt about it.’

Ireland snorted, ‘Being a cunt am I-‘

‘You are. You’re-‘

‘Rather that than a thick-headed child.’

‘-brushing me off, it was a valid fucking question.’

‘It wasn’t a question; you were simpering for something.’

North recoiled, ‘Simpering-!’

‘Aye, you were.’ Ireland’s cheeks were ruddy in the high way they did only when he got truly annoyed about something, ‘You wanted me to convince you that this does matter to you, give you a clean old line of evidence that you can take away and make yourself feel better with. I already did that enough and I ain’t arguing my point. You either take what I said and try to make sense of it, or you don’t. I’m not going to stand here and put up with you begging for validation.’

North clenched his jaw, his teeth aching with the pressure of not immediately shouting back.

‘People will take voiced doubt as truth.’ Ireland continued, stepping closer. He was still taller than North, still holding the upper ground, and North had for remind himself not to take the automatic instinct to step back, ‘Makes them question and think when they might not have done before. And you feeding into self-pity is pissing annoying. It’s pathetic; I don’t want to hear it.’

‘It was a question.’ North felt a shameful sting in his eyes. He pushed away the knowledge that his brother had hit on a truth he hadn’t him to voice, ‘I-‘

‘It wasn’t a question, don’t give me that. You wanted me to tell you why any of that-‘ a sharp wave of Ireland’s hand towards the humans on the bog, ‘-is for you.’

North swallowed, the core of it too cleanly said to deny, ‘Yes.’

Ireland shook his head, ‘Think for yourself, boy. Did you feel a need to come here?’

‘Yeah.’

‘If I hadn’t called you, if I hadn’t come, would you have anyway?’

North nodded. He would have, it wasn’t a feeling that could be ignored.

‘Then that’s your confirmation. That’s important for you and yours too, that’s it.’

‘But why.’

‘How the fuck should I know. I don’t have it all written down here in rules, now do I.’ Ireland moved back to his spot against the tree, standing there stiff, ‘You’re supposed to have a brain, you tell me.’

North shrugged helplessly, ‘Because my people are interested? Because it’s news. Because it’s an older culture of this island and people want to look for something recognisable that they’ve kept?’

Ireland’s expression didn’t change, ‘And what do you think is true?’

‘I dunno, all of them?’ North let out a breath, ‘A little bit of all of them for different people.’

As he said it, he felt that it was probably true. There wasn’t one good answer but the fact was that he was here to watch anyway. Ireland was right, that meant something, even if North didn’t know exactly what.

Ireland waited a while before speaking, as if he was waiting for North to say something more or question him again. When neither were forthcoming, he nodded and leant back more easily against the tree trunk, crossing his feet and the ankles to rest on his heels, ‘I’m not here because all in that there bog was a culture I was part of. I’m here to watch it dragged out of the dirt because it’s something that will mark the people today. Look for what’s the same and not what’s different, you’ll never get anywhere otherwise.’

The ancient hill and the shiny metal cars that now drove around it, small and modern under forgotten giants. The same could be said about them and the archaeologists: Ireland watching the return of something he’d lost, and North watching it unfold to learn what would become a part of him, as the humans picked it all from the peat. The old and new, two sides of the same coin used for any purpose humans chose.

North pressed his lips together, his throat feeling tight. ‘Yeah. I get it.’ He paused, ‘Thanks.’

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ireland shake his head with a small smile, ‘You called me a cunt.’

‘You are a cunt.’

‘Ouch.’ Ireland held a hand to his chest in mock injury, ‘That hurt my feelings.’

‘You don’t have any feelings.’

‘In that case, I won’t share what’s in my bag.’

North looked to it, then back to his brother. His stomach rumbled, ‘I was wrong.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re not a cunt.’

‘I know, I’m so lovely.’

‘What’s in the bag?’

Ireland toed it with his shoe and grinned, ‘Just cheese sandwiches.’

‘I take it back; you are a cunt.’

‘Your loss.’

--------

AN:

Bog Bodies are human remains found in old peat bogs. The make up of the soil- the lack of oxygen and the particular mineral make up- is wonderful for preserving organic material by tanning it to almost leather. The result is perfectly preserved people, down to the hair on their heads or the pores of their skin

This story is set in 2003 and the discovery of Old Croghan Man, noted in different sources to have been found in May or June near Croghan Hill which the man was named after. The hill is very old and part of ancient and surviving modern local mythology, but the area itself was also regarded as something very special, a portal from our world to another beyond

Bog bodies ended up where they did for a variety of reasons: murder, accident, or even sacrifice. The old Irish Kings, as is one theory suspected for Old Croghan Man, could be held responsible for bad weather, or a bad harvest, and sacrificed to appease the Gods in the bog

More sources, if you're interested:

Thanks for reading!

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 3/?)

Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: More angst, ngl I was listening to Daylight by David Kushner when writing so this got away from me a bit wasn't expecting it to get this dark...

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, grief, PTSD, gun violence, torture, murder, prisoner of war, war crimes

Summary: Hangman's POW fiancée attempts a prison break; Javy talks Jake into doing something he doesn't want to do.

Masterlist

Jake POV -

Coyote can talk anyone into anything.

He's somehow convinced everyone to book the day after the mission off work to go to your place, not wanting his best friend to spend another one of your birthdays isolating himself.

Jake pulls up into the driveway and grabs the barbecue supplies from the back of the car before dumping them on the side in the kitchen.

"Wow, when we said let's go to Hangman's I wasn't expecting this." Rooster says entering the house with Phoenix, Bob and Fanboy in tow. All of them blatantly ignore Jake's tear-stained face and glance around in awe at the house.

"I'm not being funny but how on earth have you financed this?" Phoenix questions making Jake laugh. He cannot express the relief that her teasing makes him feel after a morning full of unease.

"Phoenix you cannot ask that!" Rooster gasps giving her a horrified look.

"This place was unbelievably gross when we bought it, It literally makes my skin crawl thinking about our first viewing... It was up for sale so cheap I knew there must've been a reason, other than it being close to base." Jake smiles, "there's no way in hell I would've bought this without Y/N walking around declaring what we should do to it." He elaborates, not having the vision to have done any of the renovation alone.

"Jesus he has a pool!" Fanboy shouts from the other side of the room as the others rush to the window to scrutinise outside. When everyone arrives Jake gives them a quick tour around the house to avoid anyone snooping without his knowledge.

He leaves Bradley to man the barbecue and heads inside to grab a beer. In doing so he watches Phoenix and Bob verbally dissect the photographs on the mantle.

"God she was gorgeous." Phoenix points out to no one in particular, tone sounding impressed that Jake managed to land you.

"She really was." Jake sighs looking at the photo of you at your backseaters wedding, grinning ear to ear at whatever he was saying to you.

God I miss you

"How did you two meet?" Bob queries, stopping Jake before he can spiral into his thoughts.

"Flight school... I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, she literally knocked me clean off my feet day one. We started arguing and I just thought shit this is the girl version of me." He smirks as he answers.

"God I can't imagine there being two of you out in the world. How would we cope?" Payback winks, making Jake roll his eyes in response.

"Do you usually celebrate her birthday?" Bob asks not really knowing who Hangman is as a person outside of work.

Jake instantly shakes his head. "No she fucking hates -" he starts to answer swiftly cutting himself off. He ignores the bolt of heartache that threatens to shatter him as he realises he needs to correct himself, "-hated her birthday... She never wanted to celebrate it so we always just did something together without anyone else. I don't know why Javy's arranged this." Jake lies not completely oblivious to Coyote's attempt to force him to find closure.

He can't even argue that it's misguided. It's been years and he still needs to correct himself to past tense when talking about you.

Every time he comes home he half expects you to walk through the door after him.

Jake would never say it aloud but every time he comes home, he feels like he's waiting. Permanently waiting for you to get home too.

"You miss her a lot?" Bob continues trying to get a read on him.

Jake nods. "Every single day. She's my first thought when I wake up in the morning, and the last one before I go to sleep."

"Still?" Javy's worried disbelief comes from the doorway.

"Yeah." Jake's lip quivers slightly as he continues to stare at the photograph in Phoenix's hands.

I thought that this would get easier as time goes on - everyone says that - but every day I miss her more than yesterday.

Jake tears his eyes away from your photo and necks the rest of his beer in silence. All he can think about is how he'd give anything to not feel like this anymore.

Unable to shake the torment, Hangman slips out of the living room and heads back outside to argue with Bradshaw.

*

Reader POV -

You're shoved forward by a warden, collapsing onto your knees in the threshold of an outbuilding you've never been in before. Tears well in your eyes from the sheer force that your knees hit the concrete. The tears don't have a chance to fall, as the man hoists you upright forcing you inside.

Anxiety surges in your chest as you look up. You're greeted by blood splattered walls that instantly confirm your thoughts about this building.

This is where they kill people who are no longer useful to them.

You look over at Ghost hoping he will give you a look to convey that he has some form of grand plan for leaving this place. His golden skin looks ashy with sickness, sweat beads on his forehead, and his face is contorted in trepidation.

He doesn't have a plan. Neither of you have a plan.

It feels like someone has sat on your chest with how rapidly short your breathing is becoming, your apprehension is blossoming with every passing second spent in this building.

I do not want to die here.

You silently beg your backseater to look at you, as if meeting his gaze will prompt you to have some form of epiphany. His shoulders are hunched, eyes glued to the floor inaudibly accepting his fate.

He's been trying to convince you that you'll get out every day since you got here, you've told yourself every day that's not possible. Seeing him resigned to this reality sends adrenaline pounding through your body, you're not dying here at least not without a fight.

As the herding stops, you scour the room as best you can without moving, eyes flickering between all of the red covered rooms as you search for anything at all that you might be able to grab to attack the wardens with.

Fuck, this is hopeless.

We're as good as dead.

The rooms are almost completely empty.

There is nothing, not one single thing, here that we can use as a weapon, you realise.

Your thoughts of giving up are abruptly halted the millisecond after they form, as you watch the warden on your left shift his right arm towards a gun strapped to his waist. He's the prick who pushed you.

Somehow through the endless cries of the people around you, you hear the unmistakeable sound of gun safetys being removed. The fallacy that you've created of this place having some vague sense of security or solidarity among prisoners is shattered when the first round of gunfire begins.

You feel your stomach start to churn as people try to shield behind others. The sequential bout of nausea that washes over you is unignorable.

Your whole body traitorously reacts to the commotion, your rigid tension melting away to a whole body tremor. You've never been in the situation where you feel your knees shake with genuine well-placed terror before.

You've got to pull your shit together y/n. You mentally slap yourself trying to fight your inner anxiety away, needing to think rationally to decide your next move.

Without debating the consequences, you shove the warden next to you into the wall behind him with all the strength you can muster. He's thrown off guard, obviously not expecting any resistance. After his minute stumble allows you to take his weapon, he straightens up hand instantly moving to become a vice on your arm. He twists your arm in an attempt to throw you off balance. You do not shift even an inch, feet firmly planted on the ground. You're so deep in your fight or flight response that you barely even feel the motion that you expected to floor you.

The wardens are so focused on obliterating prisoners that they don't recognise the screams of their own as out of the ordinary, so you continue resisting.

When all of the wardens are down, you allow yourself to properly glance around the prisoners in the room.

Everyone looks broken beyond repair, most of them are bleeding.

Even if you got everyone out, you're not sure who among you is strong enough to live with this.

Ghost looks like a shell of himself

Ignoring that thought, you turn your attention to him, "I want to go home" you state croakily, arms still shaking as you lower the gun.

"There's no way out of here." Ghost reiterates, agitation plaguing his voice. It took the two of you, four days of recon to figure that escape was not at all possible from where they keep normal prisoners.

"Listen to your boyfriend Miss America." One of the wardens chuckles from his place on the floor, momentarily pulling your focus to watch him hold pressure on the bullet wound on his leg.

"Then we die trying." You instruct your back seater, before opening up your invite to everyone else.

A fail looking man that you bumped into earlier, shoves a boy in your direction quickly saying something to him in a language you don't understand.

There are kids here? A shudder runs through your body at the thought of children being exposed to this. No one should be exposed to this, especially not little kids.

The man turns to face you, opening his mouth to say something when a bullet rings out. You grab the kid shielding his eyes before he can see his potential father figure drop to the floor.

A warden sniggers from the floor as you stand glued to the spot in horror and disbelief that anyone would be that insanely cruel.

"Go." Someone chokes out, moving to shield you.

*************************************************************

Part 2 for those who missed it

Part 4

A/N: I promise I'll listen to something happier and write some fluff soon

[tsarisfanfiction]

Battlefield Healer

Fandom: Trials of Apollo Rating: Teen Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Gracie, Jerry, Yan By the end of the battle, Apollo called his youngest children "looking like seasoned pros", but that's not a good thing, not when it was their first battle. TOApril 2024 day 2 - Growing Pains. This was difficult because I wasn't sure how to do this prompt, but in the end I settled on more TON trio kid content! That was not a fun field trip, Chiron!

Gracie was scared.

Chiron had said it was a training exercise.  He’d called it a field trip, to get used to fighting monsters in a controlled environment, but Gracie had met human-Apollo.  Will and Nico had disappeared for a day, leaving Lester (because she wasn’t going to call the weird teenager Dad even if Will and Austin and Kayla did; they’d told her their Dad was the guy that came in dreams, and that wasn’t this pimply teenager Will’s age) behind, and he’d been tense and scared.

Austin and Kayla had been tense, too, especially when Lester and Meg left with Will and Nico and they were the senior campers.  Kayla had kept counting arrows and fletching more until Austin made her stop because her fingers were going sore and she’d need them healthy for later.

Gracie hadn’t been at camp very long, but she didn’t think Chiron’s idea of a field trip-training exercise was the same thing her half-siblings had been preparing for.  The training exercises they’d done in camp had been fun, not… whatever this was.

It was the same with the other campers; the ones like Gracie, that had joined recently, seemed excited about the training trip, and Gracie understood that because it was something different, they got to take their weapons and go out on a trip like she did at school sometimes and have fun!  If it wasn’t for Austin and Kayla, and Will and Lester when they were still at camp, she would be that excited, too.

It had been fun, to start with!  Despite being weirdly tense, Austin had led them in songs while they’d travelled to New York in the bus, and Gracie had gladly joined in, even though she didn’t know all of the songs – or hadn’t done, to start with.  Austin was a good teacher, and Gracie had always been good at picking up songs.

Then they had arrived, and the Ares and Athena campers had charged in ahead.  Gracie hadn’t realised it then, when despite the tenseness she hadn’t really understood why the older campers hadn’t been as excited about this trip as the newer ones, but they’d taken on the front line of Nero’s forces, the biggest and strongest of the grunt fighters.

She’d found that out when Will was gone, disappeared at some point when she hadn’t been looking, and Kayla and Austin were also gone, and a grim faced Sherman had dumped a bleeding Ares kid she didn’t remember the name of on her, because she was the nearest Apollo kid.

There was so much blood.

So much of it, on the once white tiles of Nero’s boring tower, on the orange t-shirt and celestial bronze armour that hadn’t stopped whatever had hit the other camper that hard, and Gracie didn’t know what to do.

Were they dying?  Was it worse than it looked?  What did Sherman expect her to do about it?  She looked around frantically, for Will, or Austin, or Kayla, or Chiron, but she couldn’t see any of them, just more fighting, more blood.

There were screams, too, and not all of them weren’t human.  Shouts and yells and this wasn’t fun.

Gracie didn’t think this was fun.  Ben raced past in his wheelchair, whooping loudly with something splattered on his wheels and over his armoured, spiky gloves, so clearly he did, but he wasn’t the one with a bleeding out camper that had been dumped on him with the expectation that she could do something about it.

She supposed she should be able to.  Apollo was the god of healing, and Will was amazing at it.  He’d even taught her a few things – not the singing, not the hymns.  She knew the words and the tune because it was music but she couldn’t get it to work and Will had said that was okay.  She could still do triage, he’d told her, could still clean wounds and wrap them up and keep people alive.

Jerry had got as far as stitching, and he could get a chanted hymn to do something, but Gracie couldn’t and she couldn’t see him if she looked around.  She could see Yan, standing tall with their bow and picking off Nero’s followers if they got too close, but Jerry was out of sight.

It was down to her, then, and she didn’t know if her patient was dying but they seemed pretty bad and Sherman had taken the time out of a fight to get them to her.

The blood was sticky, when she tentatively put her hand on their shoulder, not on a wound but close enough.  Sticky and warm and part of Gracie wanted to throw up.  It wasn’t that she was bad with blood – this wasn’t even the first time she’d seen blood, she’d helped Will after Capture the Flag because all Apollo kids helped out after Capture the Flag, no matter how not good they were at healing – it was the fact that it was on her.

She was the one that had to keep this camper alive.  That was all on her and it was terrifying.

Focus, Gracie, she told herself desperately, and blindly reached for the small bag on her back that Will had made her pack herself so she knew exactly where everything was.  She still fumbled, shrugging the bag off and rummaging through it desperately because she didn’t remember where she’d put everything, before her fingers wrapped around something cool and fragile-feeling, although Will had promised her those particular vials never broke.

Gracie wasn’t quite sure she believed him, but it was intact as she pulled it out, a miniscule bottle of amber liquid.  A single dose, because judging amounts in action was difficult and a mistake would be fatal, so Will had made sure she was only carrying single-dose vials.

At the time, she’d been a little offended that he thought she’d mess up something like that, when it had been drilled into her over and over and over again how dangerous it all was.

Now, with shaking fingers that kept fumbling the stopper, Gracie was glad, because she’d have been too scared to even try and judge it like this, alone with no supervision and a maybe-dying camper in front of her.

She wasn’t sure if it all even went in their mouth or if she still spilled some down their cheeks instead, but it was administered and now she had to do… what?  What came next?

Stop the bleeding.  The blood was still sticky and warm and it was still leaking out of them.  Clean and wrap and-

An arrow shrieked past her and Gracie’s head jerked up.  There was one of Nero’s wolf-like followers right in front of her, weapon raised, and her eyes went large as her face went cold because-

There was an arrow in their heart, which had them stumbling backwards as they started turning into monster-dust, but Gracie was shaking even more because if Yan hadn’t-

She’d be dead.

She hadn’t even noticed.

Bursting into tears on the battlefield – because this was, it was a battlefield and they could die despite what Chiron said about training trips – seemed like the sort of thing that should not be done, but Gracie couldn’t help it, bandages slipping from her fingers as her chest heaved, because she was terrified.

How could she save someone’s life if she was going to get killed doing it?  How was she supposed to do this without getting killed?  She’d only been a demigod for a couple of months, she was not ready for anything like this!

“Gracie!”  Hands grabbed her and she whipped around to see Jerry.  He tugged her into a hug and she resisted because what if they got killed but then there were legs in front of them and she looked up to see Yan standing over them.

“You two heal,” they said, and their voice wasn’t steady, either, but their bow was and that was comforting.  “I’ll protect.”

“Y-yeah!” Jerry replied, and he looked like he’d been crying, too.  There was blood on his hands, and a smear across his forehead.  “We got this.  Don’t let us die.”

“I won’t.”

Gracie still didn’t feel safe.  Yan was good but they hadn’t been a demigod much longer, and Jerry was a better healer than her but hadn’t been trained for very long, either, but it was a little bit easier, with both of them with her.

“I’ve given nectar,” she reported shakily, and Jerry gave her a watery grin.

“Awesome,” he said, although it came out shakier than she thought he wanted.  He was scared as well – this was his first battle.  Their first battle, and their experienced siblings were nowhere to be seen, somewhere in the thick of things and not on the edges, and Gracie didn’t want to know how terrifying the thick of things was when the edges were this bad.

But Jerry was a better healer than her, and with Yan standing guard, their bowstring singing as they shot anything that tried to get close, they got the Ares camper stabilised.

It should have felt like a victory – a battlefield healing!  They did it! – but all Gracie could think about was how that was only one person, and how many more times they were going to have to do it before they were all over.

She burst into exhausted tears at the thought.

[footygirl114]

Apuesta (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

This is part 2 of my Rivales Storyline, recommend you to read that one first!! I will definitely be continuing the story line of the Champions league :)

No-one expected Manchester United to beat Barcelona, every pundit and opposition team out there backed the Spanish champions. When they only won 3-1 after being tied 1-1 for 60 minutes, everyone was shocked. The United team that came out was a completely different one from their previous games, the teams energy and drive was linked to the way you lifted the team up.

Captaining the team to the 3-1 loss versus Barca sparked something in you, you wanted to be the player that this team needed, and you wanted to be the one to carry them to great things. Remaining tied with Barca till the 80th minute after going up 1-0 early also ignited a fire in your teammates. They finally realised what you had seen before, they just need a spark to get going. 

The following games, you and the girls were on fire. Beating Chelsea in a whopping 5-0 victory, then following it up with a massive 3-1 derby win over City. In the Champions league your loss to Barcelona would remain the only loss you had, until you had to face Barca in Barcelona in the final group stage game. 

Both teams were going to the quarter final round with neither team having a loss versus the other teams in the group. Although the game didn’t mean anything for qualifying, it was about pride. Barca wanted to be undefeated and your United girls wanted to prove that they were a force to be reckoned with. 

The game had so much hype, it was the first time you would be playing back at the Johan Cryuff since the team had essentially dumped you for a younger model. The social media craze alone was enough to set you on edge. You didn’t like to be the centre of attention, and you didn’t post much on your social accounts, but you were dating an icon so you were often lumped into arguments over fans. 

Both teams used the rivalry between lovers build up as well as the old team vs new team hype. To say you were excited to see what the girls could do was an understatement. You hated to admit it, cause it would mean that the suits were right, but leaving Barcelona was one of the best things you could have done for your career. You went from being a bench player, to igniting a spark in your new squad and being the key to their success. 

With Katie back in the lineup from injury, you gave her the arm band back, but she had a chat with the rest of the squad and forcefully gave you the captaincy. She would alway be in awe of how you managed to fire up the squad in a way she never could. You found your love and passion for the game of football again and it was rubbing off on everyone of your united teammates. 

The plane ride to Barcelona the day before the game was a joy, everyone was super pumped and excited to be able to show the rest of the world what you were made of. None of the girls wanted United to be known as on the cusp anymore, the whole squad was ready to be part of the conversation, and staying in a game with Barca was the way to do this. 

With how well the team was gelling and how pumped everyone was you were shocked to be allowed to stay at your place in Barca the night before the game. Your coach and the girls knew that you and Alexia were together, and they all saw how she elevated you and sparked the fire inside you. Which in turn led to you igniting the rest of the girls and elevating them. 

You had decided not to tell Alexia you were coming to your house, you did own half of it so you had every right to show up. You uber’d over form your hotel, with your pre game stuff for the next morning, you were allowed to meet the team at the field since it was a lunch time game. You unlocked the front door with your key, and could hear voices on your back deck. You knew Alexia liked to have quiet nights in before games so you were surprised when you walked out the door to half her team there. 

“Y/N!” Yelled out Jenni who was the first one to notice you, she was sitting in a chair facing the doors. 

Everyone turned to the door at that point. You had all eyes on you but the only ones you cared about were the hazel ones that immediately locked on to yours. You could see the surprise in them as you smiled at her. “Hi everyone” you said to the group with a small wave as your eyes remain locked on your love. 

“Hola Y/N, come to scope out the competition?” asks Mapi.

Patri chimes in “Nah Y/N would never do that, she’s here for one person only.”

At this point Alexia had already got up and made her way to you, she immediately has her arms wrapped around your waist and her head buried in your neck. You wind your arms around her neck and breath in the scent of your love. You cant believe its been 6 weeks since you have had her in your arms. 

As you and Alexia stand there in each others arms, you can hear the rest of the girls teasing you both, but you could care less. You turn and place a kiss on your girls temple and whisper in her ear “Hi love, I missed you so much” 

She presses a kiss to your neck and whispers “I love you hermosa.” 

You both pull back and you loosen one of your arms to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear, you keep your hand on her cheek and say to her “Have you gotten more beautiful since last time” 

She blushes and presses her lips to yours, you finally feel complete. You knew that you had found your passion for football again, but she is still your passion for everything else. You always felt like you were missing a piece of your self until you are around her again. 

“Get a room!” Jenni yells out after a few more moments, the rest of the crew chimes in and laughs at the middle finger you give them over Alexia’s back as you pull back from your love. 

“Why don't you all get out of our house, then we can go to our room?” You tell them all as Alexia tugs you to settle sideways on her lap as she retakes her chair in the group. 

They laugh as Mapi says “Y/N, you are interrupting an important strategy session here, we are trying to plan how we will celebrate every time we score tomorrow” 

“Yeah right, I bet you are all here trying to figure out how to deal with the embarrassment of losing to us at home tomorrow” you respond with a laugh as you know you won’t get away with the jab. 

Multiple gasps are heard around the group, and Alexia pinches your side as she says “Babe, don't get too cocky here, we all know who won last time” 

You squirm away from her at the pinch but she doesn’t let you get far as she pulls you back into her, as you respond “Fine, I won’t wind you guys up anymore. What are you really all doing here? I know Ale never likes anyone here pregame”

“Wait, you really don't know how much of an anti social hermit Ale has become since you left?” Jenni asks you. 

You shake your head as you feel Alexia bury her face in your neck with a whine, she tightens her arms around your waist as she whispers “don't listen to them”

Mapi interrupts and adds “All our fearless leader here does is come to practice and games, she never hangs with us anymore. We took matters into our own hands tonight and decided to follow her home and force her to be social. It was pathetic she was here staring at her phone waiting for you to call when we got here” 

You turn slightly so you can meet Alexia’s eyes and ask her softly “love, is this true?”

“Si, you always made it easier to deal with these idiotas” she says back to you. 

You smile and lean in and whisper into her ear “Can we kick these idiotas out now, so I can show you how much I love you?”

She nods at you, presses a kiss to your cheek and says to the group “Okay as your captain I am kicking you all out to go home and get some rest before we kick Y/N’s butt tomorrow” 

“Hey” you start before your interrupted. 

“Lets make a bet Y/N” Mapi says. 

Getting up from Alexia’s lap you turn to the group and say “Ill make a bet with you, IF you all leave after we settle the terms” 

Th group all stands as Jenni says “Fine, If we win, you have to post on instagram about how much you miss us all”

“AND you have to wear a Barcelona jersey to your next home game” Patri chimes in. 

You smile, as they don't know you always wear Alexia’s hoodies and Barca gear anyway, and respond “Deal, but if I win, you all have to post about how much you miss me, AND wear United gear to your next game.” 

Everyone agrees to the terms and the fist bump you on the way out. You smile cause you have missed these girls. When its just you and Alexia left she turns to you, places her hands on your hips and says “I have missed you, you know”

You place a hand on her cheek and say “love, I’ve missed you too” 

You pull her into you and place a soft kiss on her lips, she immediately deepens the kiss and you follow her lead, both pouring all your love into the kiss. She breaks the kiss and guides you up to your bedroom where you both get reacquainted with each other after weeks apart. You fall asleep in your loves arms and the piece you feel like you were missing is filled. 

**

You have a slow morning with your love, who then drives you both to the field. You meet up with your team for the pitch inspection and you can feel the excitement running through your team. You remembered how this field always felt like magic and you can tell that your teammates can feel it too. 

When the warm up are starting, you like to be the last player out of the change room, allowing yourself a moment to gather your self before heading out to the field. You run out on the field a few minutes after the rest of the team was out there, you step on to the field and you can hear a cheer from the fans that were already in the stadium, you turn and see multiple fans with your old jersey on cheering for you. It makes you smile and remember that the reason you love the game is to inspire the next generation. 

You jog over to your team and can feel how excited the girls are for this one, you keep it going and keep pumping them up throughout warm ups and the pregame talks. 

Lining up in the tunnel of your old home turf is weird, but you push through. You walk up the line high-fiving your teammates, as has become a tradition now you do to get everyone hyped. You take your place in-front of Mary who is just as amped as you are. You start walking out behind the refs and you look over and wink at your girl as she blows you a kiss. 

Its an even game, you go into the half at a 0-0 draw. You can feel the excitement of your team and use it to your advantage in the halftime talk. You come out flying and intercept an errant pass from Mapi to Alexia in centre field, you look up the field and see Ella making a run you play a through ball through and she makes no mistake and finishes it bottom corner. 

You join your team in celebration and when you turn to head back to the circle, you can hear Alexia yelling at Mapi, you jog by feeling smug. When you get to Jenni she says to you “It’s on Y/N, I do not look good in red”

You laugh and feel lighter, completely forgetting that these girls are your friends and you will now do anything you can to prevent a goal. You make it to the 90th minute when a cross into the top of the box gets deflected and hits a hand and Barca gets a free kick just off the half circle on the top of the box. You groan when its called knowing that your girl won’t miss this one. 

Mary is yelling about a wall and you are forced into it, you make sure to catch Alexia’s eye as she’s seizing the wall and net up. She meets your eye and winks at you, all you can think about is how she was not going to miss, the ref is still getting the yards set up so you decide to play dirty. You lift up your shirt to rub your face on the bottom edge of your jersey so your stomach and abs are on full display to your girl. You can see her freeze and meet your eyes, hers are dark with desire, when the ref blows the whistle. She shakes her head and goes to take the kick. 

She’s slightly off after your display and she nails the cross bar. Your team manages to hold out for the next few minutes and maintains the 1-0 win against the Spanish champions. You are all in disbelief and cant believe it. 

After celebrating, you are walking around the field talking with your team and your old teammates when you feel arms wrap around your side and a head pressed into your shoulder, you turn and readjust your hold so she’s tucked into your neck as you say “good game love”

“that wasn’t very nice of you Y/N” she whines. 

You laugh and say “all is fair in love and war baby”

“I don't like you” she says with a groan as she pulls back to meet your eyes. 

You lean into her ear and say “You liked me multiple times last night babe” 

She moans as she says “God Y/N, don't tease me here” 

You laugh and pull back as you say “I’m not sorry”

“Y/N!! You play dirty, our bet wasn’t fair” Mapi says as she and Jenni walk up to you and Alexia. 

“How? we won fair and square” you respond back, as you wrap your arm around Alexia’s hip. 

Jenni shakes her head and says “you cheated, you cant distract Alexia when she was kicking!”

Alexia blushes as you say “I was just wiping the sweat off my face” with a small smile. 

“You turned our captain into a lovesick puppy on the field” Mapi says. 

Patri walks up, puts her arm around your shoulder and chimes in “Who knew all it took for Alexia, queen of being in the zone, to be distracted was abs” 

The group laughs at Alexia’s blush as you chime in “I cant wait for all the posts about you missing me” 

They all stop laughing as they remember the bet. You love these girls and you are so happy you can still joke around with them like this, you know you will always have them in your corner. 

The next day the fans were very confused when all of sudden the Barcelona girls were posting pictures of you and talking about how much they missed you. The fans were even more confused when Alexia, Jenni, Patri and Mapi all showed up to their next game in your United jersey. 

When the draw came for the quarter final of the Champions league, the team was excited. You had proven to the football world that you could beat the best team in the world, you knew there was a slight target on your back. 

You were watching the draw in your bed on FaceTime with Alexia, when you see that you were drawn PSG you groan, and say to her “Ugh anyone but the French”

She laughs and says hey it could be worse “at least Lyon is on the other side of the bracket”

You smile and wait to see Barcelona get drawn on to your side of the bracket “You just cant get enough of us” 

She laughs and then groans as they are drawn to play Real Madrid again “Jeez we just cant escape real” 

“well love, if we both win we will be playing each other again in the semis” you tell her. 

She smiles and says to you “Lets not let the idiotas involve us a stupid bet again?”

You laugh at her as you say “You are just scared you are going to lose again”

She sticks her tongue out at you and says “Oh babe, its on."

[wafflebloggies]

aftershocks

[a small DTFM thing, set after my fic, in the light of recent events]

Although the world had ended, it had done so very quietly, and most people hadn’t noticed yet.

Mark, half asleep, did not act like someone who knew the world had ended. He padded out of the hotel bedroom and across the small kitchenette, touching things with an unready hand like anybody might in an unfamiliar space, squinting through his glasses, not at all as if the world had ended. He fumbled in a cabinet for a glass, got himself some water, drank some on his way back through the room, saw the enormous splash of black across the tile and carpet and wall and stopped in his tracks, not as if the world had ended but as if it had suddenly become more interesting; albeit not in a good way.

“What?” he said to himself, and then, louder, “Antonio?”

He backed up a bit, staring at the big splatter of black sludge as if it might leap at him.

“An-”

He had not yet seen Antonio, evidently, because when the voice came creeping from the shadow under the table he started like someone had dumped ice down his back.

“She’s dead, Mark.”

“Jesus Christ, Antonio-” The water in Mark’s glass jumped in little spangles as he spoke. He glanced at it, put it down on the counter. “Who’s dead? What’s this- stuff? What hap-”

“It’s okay,” said Antonio’s voice, from under the table. It seemed to climb unwillingly from the very middle of the shadow, the darkest part, as if there was nothing really under there and the table was just originating the voice on its own. Terrible casting, if that were the case, a very flat hard-edged uncompromising motel table speaking with the soft, shaky, faraway voice of someone trembling right at their wits’ end, peeking into the beyond.

Mark waited for a while, on the assumption that there was going to be something else. The black gloop on the wall continued to slide downwards, slowly, in long unpleasant bulges, like congealing treacle. Distantly, he heard the lift doors out in the hallway chime, rumble open, rumble shut.

“Do you want to… elaborate, on that?” he said, at last.

“I don’t think that’d be a very good idea,” said the table.

Mark blinked a few times. The table itself felt distinctly off-limits, so he pulled himself up onto the small countertop next to the aggravatingly tiny sink and perched, bare heels resting against the glossy white cupboards, feeling for the glass at his side and pulling it towards him as he looked at the table and the horrible splat. He took careful stock of himself and decided that he was probably about as awake as anyone could be expected to be at two AM. He had been sleeping better, lately. One of the things he had found himself slowly rediscovering was the feeling of waking up feeling a little sleepy, instead of terribly, buzzingly, immediately awake.

“I’m picking up some bad vibes,” he said. It felt like something Antonio might say, and he thought it might get a reaction.

The table didn’t say anything. Mark lifted his eyebrows, as if soliciting an explanation from the silent room at large, and drank some more water.

“Okay… do I need to go get you something from the pharmacy? Is there anything that’d help?” He eyed the black splat. “Pepto, or-”

“You don’t need to go to the hospital today, Mark,” said the table, reasonably.

Mark stopped. The splat, the weird silence, this bizarre behaviour, of course it was all more than enough to put him on edge, but it was only now that a slow, icy, crawly feeling began to work itself up his spine. Without thinking, he reached for his phone, and realised he’d left it in the bedroom.

“What? No, I said a pharmacy- Antonio, what’s going on? Who’s dead?”

There was a long silence. Just as Mark was convinced there wasn’t going to be any sort of response at all, he heard a slight shifting sound from under the table, a soft click, and the TV turned itself on. Mark turned his head sharply, but the sight of the screen, the scrolling legend, the cold black-white-gray twisted devastation, arrested him before he could make a noise.

For a while. He sat there and watched for a while, a cold statue with one hand stopped in the act of questing across the counter and his heels resting against the cupboard doors, bathed in the cold light from the TV as the drone pictures roamed across the sharp skeletal wreckage, the slow cycling parade of shots. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was a jarring thing, hard and practical and too harsh in the silent room.

“It- could be fake. We have to go-” He stopped himself. “No, no, bad idea. Shit. Uh- okay, I’ll check Twitter, if it’s real everyone’s going to be talking about it. I’ll check, you look for videos.” He was moving, now, sliding from the counter, giving the ghastly splat a wide berth as he headed for the bedroom. “If it’s fake there can’t be any-”

“I said, you don’t need to go to the hospital today,” said the voice under the table. Light and reasonable, shorn short of life and any emotion other than a playful sort of discursion, shallow as a sheet of foil, as if there was no topic in the world that mattered but one. Mark knew this tone in this voice so well it made him sick, but the shake in it and the horror threading through from underneath was another thing altogether, new, awful, real. Mark slowed, stopped moving, the bad feeling in his spine gnawing higher, colder, as the voice went on.

“I said, we have to film a video today, I said, did you forget? I said-”

“Stop it.”

“-you’re so silly, Mark, you’d forget your head if I wasn’t here to tell you, I said, you don’t need to go to the hospital, we’re going to film today, I said-”

“-stop-”

“I said it’s not like she knows you’re there, does she even know who you are anymore when you go anyway she doesn’t does she I said you don’t need to go to the hospital today you need to film I said-”

“STOP IT!” Mark yelled, slamming a hand into the tabletop, striking the head of one of the flimsy fake-wood chairs so that it skittered backwards across the floor and toppled. Under the clatter, the soft voice fell silent.

Mark stood, one hand on the table, the smart of it pulsing through his skin, up his arm. He stood there with his head down for a while, as the circling images of bent rebar and filthy black smoke soaked the room in dizzy white light.

“You felt- it- die, didn’t you?”

Silence.

“Your… mother.”

He curled his stinging hand and stepped back, feeling with hot shaking fingers across the underside lip of the big TV. He turned it off, stood for a little while looking into the blank black screen, the pale smoky reflection of his own face in the dead-shine of the surface. He felt, then saw, the hard angry smile start there, threaten to break into a terrible vengeful grin. He pressed it back under, fought his face still.

“Is this how it felt?” whispered the table. “Everything was okay and then, and then everything turned upside-down and now it’s like half of me isn’t there anymore, I’m half-empty inside and I, I can’t stand it, Mark. It- it hurts. Is this what we… is this what we did? Is this what I did to you?”

Mark was not an unkind person. This was a truth about himself that he had yet to accept, a truth that he spent quite a lot of effort, one way or another, avoiding at all costs. What he did know, was that the crucible of rage in his chest was not something he could trust. That the times when it flared brightest, pushed him hardest into action, were the exact times when it was the most important for him not to act.

Mother is dead.

Mark could think the words, but he couldn’t feel through what they did to him. The impulse that made him want to yell, shriek, the furious jubilant energy that wanted to claw out of him in a running-into-battle screech, and the hot unexpected barb of jealousy, that someone else had taken the victory for themselves- even when he knew he hadn’t had a chance in hell of being the one, of ever finding out how. The struggle between these feelings and his guilty relief that he hadn’t been forced to take on that fight, to somehow brave that unknowable horror that had birthed his and all of the others. He could not weigh one thought or feeling over the other, or get them all to sit still. He could only suppress, keep even on the outside. He could do that. He could always do that.

And over and above it all was the thought that this would all mean nothing, if not for his mine canary, his peculiar strip of litmus, the thing currently making no noise at all in the dark recess under the table. The thing that knew, when he couldn’t. Without Antonio here, he would have seen the footage and he would have felt nothing but a terrible uncertainty, knowing that they could make a news story, make it real, get it seen, as easily as breathing. If they breathed. That they lied, that all they knew how to do was lie. Mark felt he might have gone out of his mind, trying to prove it one way or the other. He might have done anything stupid or reckless. Because...

Because there was the thing deep underneath, the blank dead something that he couldn’t touch. To even reach for that would be to break the vital fragile thing that he needed, needed to function at all in the way he had been, the something-like-stability he had been building, carefully, for the last few months. He felt the inevitability of it, but he couldn’t do it. Not now.

He could only try, to snap Antonio out of it. He had nothing to work with, except his voice, their shared experiences, the pain and the progress. He could only try.

Mark turned, made himself look, made himself engage, finding as he did so that the aversion- the immediate hard chilly feeling that jolted in his chest and stirred up memories of awful days, terrible, miserable things- it really had faded, become so much less. Maybe with time, healing, or maybe just with knowing how important it was in this moment, that he felt his way through this without anger. Without anger, and most importantly, with the kindness and the clear thought that his friend- yes, his friend- deserved.

He made himself pick his way around the mess and take the chair and set it carefully upright. He sat down, working his hands against the arm of the chair, tensing his thin fingers and letting them slacken one by one. When his right hand felt steady and okay, he reached out and put it on the tabletop.

“Antonio?”

The silence was thin and cold and it crawled. Mark waited, and at last, a voice that sounded a lot more like Antonio’s own again made its way out of the shadow, very wobbly, very low.

“Please don’t…” A breath. “Please don’t hate me, Mark.”

Mark took a deep breath. “You know I don’t. C’mon, whatever this means, we’re going to figure it out.”

The pause this time felt like it took a year, but at long last, there was movement. Antonio’s hand came creeping over the edge of the tabletop like something out of a horror movie, slow and shaky and splattered with black goop. Mark swallowed, but he hadn’t steeled himself for nothing, and honestly he was more relieved than anything else that it wasn’t worse. It had occurred to him that maybe when something like Antonio went to pieces, it might not be a metaphor.

He reached out for Antonio’s hand and covered it with his own, hoping to hell this wouldn’t end in shattered bones. He was relieved when the hand only curled around his, threading his fingers, frantic, shivering, gentle. He breathed out, slowly, held on.

“It’s going to be okay.”

[author-a-holmes]

Writer Brain

Source: I can't find a source for this image. If anyone knows the creator feel free to tag me and I'll edit this post.

I have a love-hate relationship with my writer brain. Most of the time I love it.

I love how it gives me so many ideas that I am SURE I'm never going to have enough time left in my life to write them. I love that I have so many possabilities for future projects and characters. I love how I can slide right into a character's mindset, and figure out how they're thinking, feeling, reacting to the situations I put them in.

There's a lot of things I love about my writer brain, but then sometimes it'll do this thing.

And while, in hindsight, I always love this thing.

When I realise it's done this thing, I want to shake my writer brain like a ragdoll while screaming HOW?! WHY?!

And the thing is where I'll be writing something. And I usually hate the scene I'm writing. Or I find it frustrating. Or boring. and it usually gets to a point where I'm considering scrapping half a chapter, or a full chapter, because it's just characters talking. About "nothing". It's fluff and filler, and I don't need it, and then...

Then I'll walk away, take a break. This evening I went to cook my dinner. And while doing that, my writer brain will go...

Writer Brain: Hey. Hey. You know that filler conversation you're thinking about deleting? Me: Yeah, what about it? They're just talking about worldbuilding. And while I like it, it's not needed. Writer Brain: ... What... What if it is? Me: Is what? Writer Brain: Needed. Me: Why would the readers need to know about this? Writer Brain: Well. If they don't know this, then that thing you want to have happen at the climax will need a huge paragraph of info dumping to explain why it's possible. Me: ... Writer Brain: I mean. You could do that. Don't let me stop you. Me: Shut up. Writer Brain: It's just you actively try to avoid info dumping, so I figured you might want to know— Me: You couldn't have made this clear four days ago before I'd torn myself up over writing this?! Writer Brain: .... *shrugs* Me: *Facepalms while sobbing in frustration*

So. Yeah. Love-Hate relationship with the writer brain. And I'll still have to highlight this section in edits to make sure there ISN'T any waffling slipped in there, but... I guess my subconcious knows what I'm doing, even if I don't...

[idsb]

Like the other anon said, it's not my place so feel free to tell me to stfu but as someone who has gone through a similar struggle in the recent past, I agree with them that this decision should be purely about you, not your partner. Like I understand that he is going through a rough time at the moment, but I'll be real with you, I think as is you've already done him a massive favour paying 25% rent for a place you're not living in and more broadly, this is your life you're talking about. I've been following you for half a decade now and in that time, a huge dream of yours has always been living in Australia, and even now, when you had the most god awful (but ironically/affectionately enough I'd argue also the most Australian) start in Australia, you've said you feel like you found the place you belong and somewhere that feels so easy to be. That's rare, especially for people who have strained relationships with their family (something I relate to you with and was a big factor that people didn't often consider in my decision. not saying it is for you, but it could be) and I think it's worth holding onto, when the alternative is 'going back home for one thing [him]'.

In saying that, is there any chance that long term (I understand him not wanting to come now given his friends' condition) he would be willing to move to Australia? Because, and I recognise that this may be unfair given we get your side and not his on here, it feels like every choice about the both of yours future (getting back together, whether to stay in Australia etc) has been on your shoulders/your burden to carry. Like you either have to choose one or the other while he gets everything with no compromise if you go back. Like I know my partner at the time was not up for it, but eventually came around when he realised that it's what I needed, so if that is an option at all, that could also be worth exploring. Anyway I feel like I'm ranting now but yeah, whatever you choose, just make sure it's for your benefit not his because it's your life.

Hmmm since we share the apartment and only just moved in together before I bought the plane tickets, idrk if me not dumping the whole rent on him is a favor - if feels like he’s doing ME a favor by us keeping it, me having a home to go back to, etc, when he really can’t afford to pay that much. It feels like it’d be really mean of me to just leave and say “you pay for this I’m not even here” but idk.

It makes me so 🥺🥺 to think about you following me for half a decade and how LONG that is, thanks for saying that. I have always found the “found family” concept really beautiful and have absolutely never ever had it until I met the housemates I have now, so you’re sooooo right about that point.

I agree with you that a lot has been on me, but unfortunately he’s not interested in moving here. Which, it sucks because he’s not particularly passionate about a reason why, just general making it clear he would never want that and isn’t interested. Probably because he actually likes his family and has a lot of friends (unrelatable fshhdjdjkek) so like most normal people wouldn’t want to leave that. And his career - which to be fair, until I got here and was pushed to the breaking point with it this year, I also was like I couldn’t!1!1!!1 my career!!1!1!!! I’m really happy for you and it’s really inspiring that your partner wound up feeling that way.

Thanks for being here bestie and thank you so very much for this message and taking the time to send it. This was really helpful to read and sort out my thoughts a little more 🥺🥺🥺

[blushyeleven]

Hey, so I rlly just need to trauma dump. And I can’t use any of my friends bc I feel to selfish so I’m putting it all into a tkl fic🤭

WARNINGS: mummy issues, alcohol, mentions of being drunk and tickles

Characters: ler!millie and lee!y/n

𝗗𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀.

I sigh. Looking over to see my mum, crashed out on the velvety grey sofa.I glance at the time

6:24pm.

A typical Wednesday evening.

I stand up. Snatching the the glass of fizzy poison off the table and saunter to the kitchen. Tipping the half-drunken glass of liquor down the drain. Watching it splash into the sink before gurgling down the pipe.

I tilt my head to the left to see 3 empty Prosecco bottles, sitting proudly on the kitchen counter. Sitting proudly knowing they took my own mother away from me. Causing her to fall asleep before sunset, causing her to say harmful things, causing her to become a careless, mindless mess. Why? Why put me through that. A 10 year old didn’t deserve that.A 10 year old shouldn’t have to feel responsible for her own mothers nonsensical actions. A 10 year old shouldn’t have to look after her own mother because she couldn’t control her addiction. A 10 year old shouldn’t have to put a mother to bed before her own bedtime. But here I am. Years later, still sulking about the true mess my mother has let herself become.

I feel numb.Depthrived of any feeling at all. I find myself zoning out. Thinking about the better times. Any time was certainly a better time then this. Trying to reminisce my childhood. Although my childhood was just one big blur. My earliest memory was my mum and dad parting when I was 5. I remember feeling so…lost. Lost in my own thoughts as they piled and crowded In my own head. Why?. Why did they have to break up? Well, this question was too much to consider for my 5 year old brain, but a couple years later I found out. My mum decided to let go of my dad becuause of his love for drinking. See the problem? My whole life is just one endless, suffocating loop. I understand the idea of karma and bad luck but I must have done something really bad for this to happen to me. I refuse to talk about it because as I do, I feel my words becoming pointless and dim-witted. Why talk about it? People having real trauma. My trauma is bottled up in a Prosecco bottle.

I awake from my useless daydream and I carefully pick up the bottles one by one of the marbled counter and delicately place them into the bin. Trying not to wake my mother. I hear a soft clink sound as I realise my grip and plant them and then softly close the bin lid. I check the time again

6:37pm

I tread back to the living room hearing the soft snores of my mum and the tv playing in the background

I kneel next to her and faintly shake her “mum, come on, let’s get you to bed” she opens her eyes and nods before groggily pulling herself to her feet and began to amble up the stairs. Me shortly behind me, reassuring she doesn’t fall. My mum wasn’t abusive, or nasty, or shouty. She was just forgetful and unintelligent once she was under the spell of alcohol. She wasn’t a danger at all really, but she still needed my assistance. Yes, it was draining and I would get exhausted and angry of the same pattern of drunken nights but I couldn’t bare to think of her injuring herself because I wasn’t there to take care of her.

As we reach the the top I perch myself on the top of the stairs, waiting for her to finish brushing her teeth.

Once she finished she dawdles to her bed where I make sure she has a glass of water, her phone is on silent and I tuck her in. “Goodnight”she smiles “Goodnight mum.” I sigh as I shut her door.

I make my way back downstairs and check my phone

Millie👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🫶 just snapchated you

Ah. Millie. I opened her snap to see “hey!! Wanna come over?” I smiled to yourself.I could use a distraction after all, i thought. “I would love to!” I typed back seeing her bitmoji pop up and start typing “okay! come over whenever” “leaving now🫶” i replied as she just typed “great see you soon🤭”

I turned off my phone off before placing it in my back pocket. What’s the worst that could happen? She was asleep. I pondered. So i grabbed my keys and left. Making the short trek to Millie’s house.

As i arrived i pulled my phone out to check the time

7:16pm

I pace to her front door and knock. Shortly after seeing the door open to the beautiful blonde. Smiling. “Hey!!” She can see that I try give a half-hearted smile and she put her arms out

Affection wasn’t really my thing, but I felt safe, secure in Millie’s arms. So I stepped and wrapped my arms around her. Resting my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. Although it was quite. It wasn’t awkward. Volume speaks louder then words. As we stop hugging at the doorway she shuts her door and I follow her up to her room.

She closes the door behind her and sits besides me on her floor “one of those nights?” She asked and I just nod. “Awh, I’m sorry” she emphasises and pulls me closer to her.

Before saying anything else a lightbulb went off in her head as she couldn’t help but smirk

I look up at her “what?” I slightly smile back

“Need me to do the thing?” She asks seeing my smile widen and a blush apear across my face. “I wont make you ask today” she reassures and pulls me into her lap beginning to softly skitter her fingers across my sides

I start instantly squirming while letting out a soft flow of giggles “bahahahha mihihilieee!” “What? You wanted this!” She teased continuing to work her fingers on my sides

I bring my hands to cover my face, muffling the giggles pouring out of my mouth. Millie took note of this and then decided to start slowly scratching at my armpits, causing me to immediately shoot them down to my sides. Exposing my rather flushed face “See, don’t hide your laughs from me!” She smiled before scribbling all over my stomach, occasionally hitting the sensitive spot. Just above my belly button. My eyes widened before biting down on my lip, vigorously shaking my head. “Oh? Now your refusing to laugh for me?! Well you did ask for this!” She mused before lowering her acrylic nails down to my belly button In a circling motion. Millie knew how to make me crack, she did it enough times to know all of my sweet spots. “BAHAHHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOO” I squealed, before rocking from side to side while kicking my legs. “what? You know that I love this spot! It’s the one where you immediately burst into hysterics! It’s adorable to watch!“ she cooed before carrying on, teasingly swirling her fingernails into my belly button. “SWIHIIHTTTCHHH PAHAHARTSSS!!” I practically screamed, not being able to take much more of the belly button torture. “If you insist!” She exclaimed before jabbing her fingers into the spaces between my ribs. That’s when I give in and start squirming and sucking in my stomach. “NAHAHAHAH MIHILIEE!!” “Whatttt! I moved from your worst spot! I’m doing you a favour!” She stated before beginning to walk her nails back down your stomach. I winced and tried to hold her hand from crawling any further “OKAY IM SORRY!” I panicked as she just looked down at me and giggled. “I’m kidding, I don’t wanna overwork you. How about we just finish this off nice and soft?” She spoke in a subtle, comforting tone. “f-finish?”I absentmindedly said before slamming my hands to your mouth. Realising what I had just said. Millie found it rather endearing and she couldn’t hold back her beaming smile.

“Oh, I’m getting the impression you don’t want this to end just yet, that’s absolutely fine! I just didn’t want to push you past your limits, especially in a time like this” she reassured before kissing my forehead. I felt a lot of heat rise to my cheeks before just gently nodding. Millies Angelic smile never left her face as she returned her finger to my hips. Squeezing at them softly. I start bouncing and giggling uncontrollably. Although it was embarrassing to admit to anybody that I liked being tickled, I felt so safe with millie. It was like she understood me and she never judged. In fact she always offered and I always agreed. She told me she finds it sweet and adorable after I gained up the confidence to tell her.. and ever since then it’s been our favourite pass time. She then crawled her fingers up to my sides before using her fingertips to circle into them. God, normally I’d be embarrassed about how ticklish i was, even the slightest touch could make me flinch. But this was something millie took to her advantage. So it had its perks. Millie then adverted her eyes to mine, with nothing but pure love in them. She then decided to lightly scribble her fingers at my armpits. Seeing how desperately I was trying not to clench them into my sides. “nahahahahhahahahahahahahahaahaha hohohowwwe ahahareeee yoouuu sohohoho gohohoooddd ahahttt thhihiihs!!” I tried to say through my bubbly, high pitched giggles. “Well, since somebody likes tickles.. I have the perfect person to practice on!” She teased and my face blew up in a blush (again) Millie could then see my giggles becoming more spaced out and breathy, clearly becoming tired. She then took ahold of my foot and began dragging her nails down my black socks. My gaze soften and I melted into the tickly touch, stretching my foot backwards. “naha thahankyohou fohor thihis” I looked up, smiling at her and she continues to trail her nails up and down my socked foot. “you don’t need to thank me, it looked like you really needed this anyway”

[geekgirles]

I know this is probably going to make zero sense since this is just a half-assed concept brought to you by FEELS I always get from watching Fanning the Flames. But bear with me, please.

I love the episode as it is. Really. Not only because I'm Amethyst Ocean trash, but because it's just a great episode! It introduces Ember, the Sam/Danny dynamic follows nicely where their Fake Out Make-Out from last episode left off, Tucker has some downright hilarious lines...

It's just good.

But it always digs up the usually nonexistent thrill I get from some angst (which only ever rises from its grave when there's romance involved). I mean, the whole love spell situation is pretty heartwrenching, maybe even tragic, when you think about it.

One the one hand, you have Sam’s perspective. After what happened in Shades of Gray, she's barely starting to reach out and allow herself to wonder what it'd be like to date Danny, to date one of her best friends. Honestly, hadn't the spell happened, maybe those two would have ended up together sooner.

But it did happen, and it sort of put a halt to things progressing naturally but more quickly. Which is great, because with the way the show was written, it needed to happen. I'm not ranting, just pointing something out.

And because the spell did happen and Danny got all obsessive and clingy and Sam got a not-so-accurate-nor-real look into what a relationship with him could be like, she got scared. The love spell made things move way too fast for her liking and forced her to re-evaluate in record time if she wanted a romantic relationship with Danny or not. And, given the only experience she could use as reference was mostly negative, she chose that, no, risking her friendship with her best friend was not worth it.

And then we have Danny’s situation. After the spell was broken he was confused, for a moment he even believed his perceived relationship with Sam was real, but it wasn't. However, instead of going back to normal, the damage was done. Ember had fed the illusion with lies and it was up to Sam to snap him out of it by sending him crashing down—she had to break his heart. And boy did Danny remember the pain. His (romantic) love for Sam might have been a lie up until that point, but his heartbreak wasn't, and the pain remained.

Proof of that was the way he furiously attacked and took his pain out on Ember (that scene and the one leading up to it must be one of my absolute favourites from the show).

This is all devastating in a way, but then I unwittingly came up with a way to make the experience even more bittersweet, for lack of a better word:

If Fanning the Flames had taken place while Danny was dating Valerie which in turn would only happen if their relationship arc had been expanded for more than an episode (if we don’t count Reign Storm).

(On a side note, I have nothing but respect for Gray///Ghost shippers. You keep doing your thing, you legends 👍)

With this I mean there would be an added layer of pain to the whole situation. From all three parts involved. 

On the one hand, it’s true Valerie could have remained hypnotised by Ember like Tucker did, but on the other, the whole thing would be sort of pointless if she didn’t know something must have happened to Danny for him to suddenly ignore her and be all over Sam. This scenario could have been set up in two or three different acts, so to speak. 

On the first one, Valerie could have no idea what’s going on and initially think Danny’s just dumped her for Sam, which would upset her a great deal and make her angrily call off their relationship. On the second one, while conducting her own investigation regarding Ember parallel to Team Phantom’s she could have come to realise it was her doing Danny was acting like that. What she didn’t understand was why. All other victims of her brainwashing were simply obsessed with her, why would Ember need to have Danny, of all people, obsessed with Sam? 

And the third and final one would be post-spell, where Danny tells her some excuse (like, “I was ast the wrong place, at the wrong time” or something), and Valerie seemingly buys his apology, though some spike of suspicion still remains: was it all really just coincidence, or was Danny actually hiding something from her? And was it all just a spell, or does he really have feelings for Sam, after all?

Following up on that, there’s Danny. It’s only logical he’d be horrified at finding out he’d been (temporarily) dumped by his girlfriend because, due to some love spell, he’d fallen madly in love with his best friend. 

So his already frightening fury at Ember for the ramifications of her actions would only increase tenfold, because the pain from the experience would have doubled down as well. First, Sam has to break his heart to break the spell (ouch!), then he realises he’s been “crushing” on his best friend while he already has a girlfriend (double ouch!), and then he learns said girlfriend has broken up for him for reasons that were, quite literally, out of his control (YEOWCH!). 

To say he would be pissed would be an understatement. 

So the experience wouldn’t just leave him trying his damnest to make it up to Valerie and feeling guilty over something that wasn’t even his fault but, depending on the direction you want to take this, also mixed feelings? Because, why did Ember target Sam specifically, when she could have gone after Valerie just as easily during the battle? Was it because she was an easier target? Because, unlike Valerie who still hates Danny Phantom, Sam seemed to worry about his safety and Ember misunderstood the situation? Or did she see something else buried deep within their interactions? 

Could it be he actually has feelings for Sam?

And what better way to end this analysis than with Sam’s own feelings?

Ok, so in this scenario she would already be carrying a lot of pent-up frustration, jealousy, and heartbreak from seeing Danny and Valerie together, something she’s managed to hide...with questionable results. 

However, because she apparently wasn’t dealing with enough as it was, now a ghost diva has put Danny under a spell that makes him think only about her. Many other cartoons would play this as that golden chance to live out your dreams and experience what a real relationship with your crush would be like...only for the character to eventually grow frustrated of their crush’s obsessive behaviour under the spell. 

But this is Danny Phantom, and just like it (thankfully) wasn’t the case in the original episode, neither will it be here. 

Mostly because Sam has a few problems with the arrangement. 

First, it wouldn’t be a real relationship, because that’s something Danny already has with Valerie, not her. And as much as it pains her, the best she can do for her best friend is step aside (though that doesn’t mean she won’t remind him of the inherent danger in dating an enemy bent on his destruction at any given chance). Just like the sole fact that he’s been roped into it by a love spell meant to distract him only serves to drive the point that it’s nothing but an illusion further home. 

It’s not a real relationship until Danny has a say in it.

And second, because now it’s not just forcing her to consider if she wants a relationship with Danny before she’s ready; it’s a constant reminder of what she could have, but can’t, not really, because Danny is not hers, but Valerie’s.

And I just think there is something inherently heartbreaking in that. Not only are you forced to see the person you love with someone else, while being incapable of doing anything about it (among others things because it would just be selfish), but then you are presented with an opportunity of what it could be, but won’t. Sam would be forced to watch how, no matter the circumstances, Danny slips through her fingertips. 

And just...that’s just breaks me, you know?

I don’t know, I just think it’d be a great opportunity for character exploration and some drama lol. 

Well, this got incredibly long and I don’t even know if I made any sense, but thanks for sticking with me anyway! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter :)

[riley-phoenix]

Can we see a fic where Y/N has been broken hearted and is skulking in their room, unable to sleep, and Malia sneaks through the window in the middle of the night (as she does). She finds out they've been hurt, comforts them with cuddles in bed to help them sleep, and it turns into a comfort-smut.

Afterwards, or before it gets smutty, Malia reveals she's had feelings but in a really blunt way (cuz I don't think she'd be the emotional confessor type)? Like Y/N goes "Wait you like me?" And Malia goes "Well..fuckin obviously, dumbass" just an example, but something like that.

They/Them pronouns, female body but with male genitals?

Pairing: Malia X Reader (They/Them Pronouns, Female Body, Male Genitalia)

Canon: Teen Wolf

Content: Heartbreak, depression, smut, vulgarity, politically incorrect humour

Author's Note: Thanks for the request! Requests are open!

Summary: Left in a pit of depression after being dumped, you find yourself being consoled by your friend, Malia. But Malia's comfort ends up being more than just emotional.

You sat alone, depressed and with an overwhelming sense of helplessness settling in your stomach as the raindrops hit softly against your bedroom window and the faint sound of thunder striking the sky loomed dimly in the background. You grabbed your hankerchief to wipe away the burning tears. You had done this dozens upon dozens of times over the course of the day, leaving the skin below your eyes red and sore. You sniffled several times before pulling the top of the blankets closer to your chest and burying your head in your pillow. You were hungry, thirsty, you desperately needed to stretch your limbs, but you lacked the motivation to even turn your head.

That was until your attention was stolen by a tapping sound coming from your bedroom window. You rubbed your eyes and turned around lazily to see Malia, standing on the narrow ledge outside your window and tapping on the glass. You rolled over three times until you were slumped against the edge of your bed, and with absolutely no conviction, reached out to unlock the window, allowing the werecoyote to climb inside.

Malia was hesitant. She wasn't the most emotional or the most sympathetic person, but she could sense something was wrong. She noticed the way you just lied there. Absent of any conscious thought or desire to speak. She observed the way you just rested your head on your pillow, and just stared out, staring at nothingness. 'What are they thinking about?', She thought to herself.

It was the moment she reached out and touched your hand. That was the first thing that earned a hint of human emotion from you. The way your head flinched and turned to look at her made her realise she had pulled you back into reality, she could see it in your eyes. Your eyes were weak before. They were half closed and seemed as though there was an absence of a soul in them. Now they were fully alert, wide open and transfixed on Malia.

"Hello, *your name*", she said in a bittersweet voice.

You barely gave her a response. It wasn't even a real response, it was some sort of half-assed attempt to grunt.

"So... How've you been?".

You responded once again with a sad excuse for a grunt.

Malia sighed. "*Your name*, what's gotten into you?".

You sighed as well, and for the very first time, you spoke, "Brad".

"...Your boyfriend?".

"Ex. Ex-Boyfriend".

"Oh. Wow. You guys broke up?".

"No. He dumped me".

"Oh; Honey. I'm sorry. Y'know that doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Someti--"

"He dumped me at school; in the middle of the hallway; infront of everyone; on our anniversary and then he walked away interlocking hands with the head cheerleader".

Something changed in Malia. She was furious. She was now bearing her werecoyote eyes and fangs and was already halfway out the window when you reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Malia, what are you doing!?", You aksed frantically.

"To find that asshole", she said aggressively.

"Forget it... He's not worth it", you said dissapointedly. "That's not what I need right now", you added.

Malia paused. "What do you need right now?", She asked.

"Right now? Comfort... I just need to feel loved".

Without hesitation Malia got under the covers with you and wrapped you in a warm, tight, hug; kissing you on the forehead for comfort.

"Y'know... Brad is an idiot", Malia said as she cuddled against you.

You didn't respond, but you looked at her as if to say, 'What do you mean?'.

"He had... The most amazing, beautiful, passionate, funny and considerate significant other anyone could ask for... And he threw them away. He's retar--"

"--Malia, that's politically incorrect. Remember, we've been over this before?".

She sighed, and took in a long, deep breath. "... He's an idiot; and he doesn't deserve you. There's someone out there who really, really wants to date you, so he should be the one sulking alone in his room, not you. Because he fucked up".

The passion in her words made you realise something you hadn't realised before. Malia was talking from a very very personal space. Almost as if she was talking about herself. "Malia... Who's the 'someone' you were talking about?", You asked.

This time, it was her who didn't respond, and instead just looked at you as if to say, 'What do you mean?'.

You spoke again. "Are you... Trying to say--".

"--I like you", she blurted out.

Neither of you realised, but you were holding hands underneath the blankets. You stared at each other in dramatic silence for a matter of seconds, not quite sure what to say. Then, finally, Malia cupped your cheek with her hand and brought your lips to meet hers. She was passionate, full of love and intensity as she carefully bit your lower lip and ran her tongue along the edge of your upper lip, while she reached down and started to pull off your trousers. You made it easier for her, reaching down to rip them off completely and you pulled away for a second so she could do the same. When your lips met again, you took control. You met her tongue with yours and ran it along the sides of her mouth. You both sat up, and she took a small nibble at your lips again, as you helped her out of her top and she pulled off yours. You stopped again, staring into each other's eyes. The next step was an intimate, adult decision, but it was one you were both sure you were ready to make. You reached down underneath the covers and began to slowly remove your undergarments, and watched as she did the same, never breaking eye contact with you.

You were both fully naked, fully exposed and fully connected with each other's bodies. You approached her again, taking her face in yours and starting off with a kiss, before leaving a trail of hot bites and sucks along her chin, then her neck and finally onto her collar bone. She moaned softly and it peaked your arousal. You continued, she did it again, and now you were on top of her.

With Malia pressed flat onto the bed and your knees on either side of her, you reached down to place one hand on the small of her back and the other against her buttocks. Finally, you met her at the junction of your bodies, a feeling that caused both of you to let out a sound of pleasure.

"Mmmmm".

"Oooaah".

The shocking, electrifying feeling of penetration left both of you speechless and with the desire to go harder, and faster. You began to rock against her body with more force, and, despite the overwhelming feeling in your waist, managed to go faster. It was the most tantalizing feeling you'd experienced in your life, it made you forget about the horror and the loneliness of the past few days and allowed you to embrace a bright, prosperous future.

As you pushed yourself again, and again, you began to feel an uncontrollable change in your body. It was hard but arousing, it challenged you but it was pleasurable. You rocked against Malia one final time until eventually; you arrived. Pulling away from her just in time and collapsing tiredly beside her.

You were both speechless, and worn out. Despite that, you managed to lean over and give her a peck on the cheek before you spent the rest of the night together.

The next day, at school, you walked through the halls, hands interlocked with Malia's. As you skipped gleefully, you noticed Brad, stuck in a "conversation" with his new girlfriend, who was talking to him in an extremely condescending voice. He looked miserable, and as your eyes met, he threw you a look that said 'Please take me back'. You smiled and threw him a mischievous wink, then turned to Malia and pulled her in for long, passionate kiss in the middle of the hallway, where everyone could see.

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[inked-out-trees]

69, 44, and 25 for the writers ask

I need to get back to writing too, but in good news I'm getting a feel of character for one of them. Now if I only had a plot

we're doing it! getting back into writing together! thank you for the reverse directional asks i will do them exactly how you have asked

69. how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

if i'm coming into it Knowing that i want to write an emotional scene, usually there's music involved! i have a collection of sad and otherwise melancholy playlists (plus one that's just songs i think would fit well in those angsty last 3 minutes of a tv show episode before the cliffhanger) and they tend to serve me well; if all else fails i'll find the most recent mood-fitting song i've been repeating lately and loop it forever. (most recently has been doctor eleven by dan romer. was the only thing i listened to for my crw class submission and personally i think it turned out swell.)

as for feeling the characters, i don't think so? a lot of the time what i feel when i'm writing is just joy from writing, vague evil sentiment, or if it's Really A Lot To Handle, there'll be like, an ache. occasionally i do make myself cry but that's mostly for personal or original things, and less for fanfic. unless it's the annie chapter of bean's beans. but typically i am somewhat detached, which is actually kind of impressive considering my propensity for imprinting on literally everything. huh! i learn something new about myself every day.

44. any writing advice you want to share?

man i never know if there's any sort of sagely things i do that could be passed off as wisdom but. the best piece of advice i've read (on tumblr too i think) was that if you're stuck, it's possible that the problem is actually a couple lines back. usually i look between three paragraphs and half a page up to see what different choices i could make, and that tends to solve my problem more often than not. kind of magic, that.

in other sort of throwaway bits, i always start a fic creation process by opening a doc and just rambling onto it. no proper prose, just as though i'm having a conversation with the empty page. it's helpful both to get my ideas in order and to have a place to come back to if need be - it's easier to toss the ball around if the net's already there, yknow? also, if for some reason microsoft word isn't doing it for me, i find fighter's block to be good for dumping out words, and zenpen has carried me through several terms of creative writing assignments and also poetry so take that as you will.

25. what's your revision or rewriting process like?

would you laugh at me if i said i don't edit my fics. this is not necessarily true in that i don't consider what i post to be rough in any way, but when it comes to fic especially i'm a big first-one-done kind of guy. that being said: i reread my work a lot. a lot a lot. and often times i will pick up little things that need fixing, line edits or weird repetitive things, so i do find it helpful. also the read-aloud function on word has been great to me. and i make frequent use of the comment function in word, which has been exceedingly useful when it comes to the fact that i haven't yet figured out the whole timeline of fixed point so some of the dates are just "FIGURE THIS OUT LATER" and "IS THIS TRUE?".

and of course sharing with other people :) coming from creative writing seminars i've realised (? finally understood? i don't actually know how much of an enlightenment it was but it was something) how useful it is to get someone and just say, hey, tell me how you interpret this, are there any questions you still have, god forbid did i leave any gaping plot holes. this comes in especially handy because in MY brain i know all the answers, and sometimes they forget to worm out onto the page. this again has just happened in my current seminar, so rest in peace to the quest plot i tentatively thought i could maybe go without describing (for wordcount's sake) but apparently not. it is cool and fine.

anyway happy tuesday and also thank you!