#I really do like the vagueness of her backstory though. we will never know what exactly happened

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up. 

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is. 

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing. 

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional. 

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—” 

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe. 

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers. 

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way. 

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well. 

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you. 

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind. 

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body. 

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice. 

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all. 

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have. 

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit. 

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away. 

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be. 

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself. 

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums. 

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t. 

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you. 

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color. 

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?” 

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it. 

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.” 

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two. 

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it. 

You want her to really think about what you’re asking. 

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking. 

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie. 

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad. 

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes. 

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long. 

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up. 

So, you have to move in silence. 

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise. 

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe. 

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change. 

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting. 

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride. 

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses. 

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona. 

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is. 

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway. 

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment. 

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy. 

It makes your heart swell. 

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing. 

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters. 

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design. 

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.” 

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.” 

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old. 

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking. 

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?” 

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?” 

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him. 

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?” 

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly. 

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?” 

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words. 

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot. 

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad  because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother. 

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad. 

Mariah can fuck off. 

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway. 

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow. 

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place. 

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos. 

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while. 

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.” 

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play. 

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits. 

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special. 

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night. 

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts. 

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩 

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol 

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah. 

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege. 

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you. 

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life. 

Mariah can fuck off.

[comradesummers]

I really wish the show had brought up Merrick more (or like, ever). I know the writers were consistently vague whenever they had to reference anything that could overlap with the original film but, as is made very clear in Becoming, Buffy did have a watcher before Giles (who for some reason had an American accent, despite all other watchers being British, what's that about?), and he pretty much has to be dead, otherwise Buffy wouldn't need a new watcher. And even though they never bring this up directly, just the knowledge of this recontextualizes a lot of scenes. Buffy's big speech to Giles in Welcome to the Hellmouth where she explains how terrible it is to be a slayer is a lot more brutal when you realize that she's giving it to the replacement of the guy she couldn't save. And the scene in Passion where Buffy begs Giles not to die hits even harder knowing that her previous watcher did die. When she says "You can't leave me, I can't do this alone" she's speaking from experience.

And then in Faith, Hope & Trick, it's actually bizarre that Merrick never comes up, given how much of Faith's trauma is centered around seeing her watcher die, something Buffy can probably relate to. Now the Doylist explanation for this is probably that the writers either forgot about this element of Buffy's backstory, or were once again being deliberately vague about her pre-Sunnydale life. But in-universe, it suggests that Buffy just literally never talks about this with anyone, not even the person who could best understand where she's coming from.

What I'm saying is, the Merrick thing kind of inadvertently implies that Buffy is already pretty fucked up when we meet her. She's repressing a serious trauma to the point where she literally never mentions it to any of the other Scoobies. She is not okay.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a DND campaign abruptly?

Some backstory: I had joined a DND game about 5 years ago right after breaking up with my toxic ex at the time. Me and my ex were both trying to be cordial at this time and ended up both joining a DND game run by a mutual friend.

In our first session, I had noticed my ex made her character be a parody of me that she made look like an awful person. She then kept dm-ing me during our sessions to tell me how to play my character better and other general backseat gaming stuff.

Very quickly, maybe about a month in, I contacted the DM about leaving the campaign due to wanting to distance myself from my ex. She was very upset I wanted to leave and offered to kick my ex from the group instead. I declined saying it would only cause more drama. The DM agreed to let my character go off at the end of the activity we were gonna do that session so it would make sense story-wise.

But this departure did not happen. after that conversation she vague-posted onling about how people dont want to be her friend. She then purposefully kept extending this part of the plot, just so I wouldnt leave the game and could realize it could still be fun. I told her outright I could not do this anymore after 3 more additional sessions and telling me she'll get to my character's exit soon. I always felt like an ass to the other players in the game for leaving them abruptly but I could not do it anymore.

Fast forward roughly 4 years, the DM tells me she is going to make a new campaign and would like for me to join since my ex was no longer in it. I agreed as I had missed playing DND a lot.

For the past year or so I have been in this campaign and it can be fun at times but I still feel out of place. This new session is a direct continuation of the previous campaign's storyline and regularly references it. Now, as far as I know my ex's character has not been referenced at all but I am constantly reminded of this situation whenever they mention a character's name I don't remember (because honestly I don't remember her characters name nor do I want to). I know I said to not bring her up around me but I don't quite trust this friend to keep her word. Simply because I don't think she ever remembers anything I tell her out of a place of... just not caring.

The DM and I just don't quite mesh that well. I don't really like her DM-ing style of making it up as the session happens. I don't like that she will constantly decide what my character is doing, even if I ask to do something, she tells me to roll to see if i can, i can get a nat20 and she will still decide what my character will do next based on what she thinks is funnier to her but makes my next action harder to accomplish.

I have dm'd her to talk about the progression of my character arc (after she constantly implys in session my character is the comedic relief and doesnt have any character development) and she'll go ooo and aaa (literally all she would say) but never actually implement anything I recommend.

I kept saying to myself it will get better in time. I have voiced my wants for my character, and they are ignored. In session, my character actions are essentially decided for me no matter how I roll the dice. It feels weird to be around half of the party bc they spent 4 years in a campaign with my ex who played a parody of me. esp hard after the DM keeps making me be the comedic relief even though I keep trying to play more seriously. other players constantly joke about how my character is gonna be the one that gets them all killed etc because of actions I dont necessarily decide.

Now as mentioned before, DM is also known to vague-blog about how "her friends secretly hate her" at any moment as well. This has happened before after I tried to "real talk" with her a handful of times over unrelated topics too (even if she initiates this conversation)

Given everything above, I want to leave this DND game after giving it a try for a year (really giving it an opportunity to improve). We left off with my character running off alone to get supplies for the party. I was thinking I could make a statement saying I had some personal things come up and I need to leave the game abruptly and leave it to the DM to decide what to do with my character.

Now I feel like I may be the AH because: I am leaving the game abruptly for a second time technically. I would contact the DM on how to make it make sense for my character to depart, but I feel like she will do the same thing as before with the previous campaign and keep putting it off, especially after ignoring my character growth ideas for a year in this current campaign. I also feel like I may be the AH because in character my group does need those supplies, but there is nothing stopping the DM from controlling my character to deliver supplies within the first 5 minutes of the next session.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Since Viv still somehow cannot decide on what Angel overdosed on. I am taking my liberties and doing it my goddamn self. I will also be formatting this into a summary of what I think a good small backstory scene could be like while also giving Angel a safespace and bonding experience.

It’s in the tags but WARNING there is discussion of drug abuse and overdosing in this summary.

Urg, okay, Vague but also kind of not vague angel backstory stuff because ig viv cant make up her mind on her own OCs backstory

Angel is lying in bed with Husk sitting at the edge as per usual, and Angel starts talking about a few mild personal things (mental struggles, work, general issues, etc) and Husk suggests taking something mild to help him relax and sleep so he gets up and gets him a few pills and puts them in Angel’s hand; says its Benadryl just to help him sleep a bit, but notices quickly that Angel is suspiciously reluctant to take or even look at the pills. Obviously, he asks what's up and is met with the answer of, “Nothin’ I just don’t… use that stuff.” It piques Husk’s interest, and asks if it doesn’t work for Angel, who responds with, “It definitely works.” but ultimately, Husk decides not to pry; however, he lets Angel know he’s open to listen if it’s something he feels like he wants to talk about.

Angel, being weirdly stubborn but also becoming a bit more open with Husk by this time, takes a few minutes to actually say something but eventually informs Husk that it was something he used to try and get high off and had some really good and really bad trips with, but it was the drug that ultimately led to him suffering an overdose and never waking up after it. Both of them are quiet for a bit until Husk gets up and searches for something else to help Angel sleep and, once again, places a few small pills in his hand and says he can try these, but if not, he can try something else without pills. Angel is still reluctant but ends up accepting the offer and proceeds to carefully assort the pills into little categories, saying it’s something he ‘needs to do’. Husk doesn’t push further than that and watches Angel take the pills before the other lays down again.

Things once again go silent for a good ten or so minutes until Husk notices Angel uncomfortably folding his hands over his stomach but mentions that pills always make him feel queasy to an extent and that he only takes them with other people around so he’s distracted from the discomfort they give him. In an attempt to calm Angel’s apparent nerves on the topic, he decides to sit with the other until Angel falls asleep. Eventually, Husk follows suit, with both of them waking up the next morning and Angel giving a relieved and grateful, albeit shaky, sigh. The next morning consists of Angel thanking Husk but ends with the two coming to an agreement that next time Angel can't sleep, a liquid medication approach would be better.

I don’t know if I’ll ever do a full fledged writing of this, but the concept of triggers is something I’ve personally yet to see stated in Hazbin Hotel. This would be a good way to discuss clear lingering trauma Angel has while still treating it with the gentleness the character needs and severity the topic needs. Benadryl was also just becoming a thing around the 1940’s so it makes sense for this to be something Angel very likely could’ve overdosed on. The topic of common triggers is something interesting too; I’ve seen that in other media obviously but even though I know we won’t get it, it’d be nice to see the caution around said trigger and very slowly seeing the character become more open to it if it is a common thing like this. Not everyone will get over triggers and I myself also used to have a strained relationship with a certain pill like this, but there is always the chance that you will be able to use it somewhat normally again.

If this were to happen I’d be fine with it if Angel never got over the discomfort of pills, but much later on in the series if we saw him take some kind of antihistamine casually and comfortably it’d be really nice to see that kind of growth. And as for Husk, I’d like to see him be less shame-y with Angel’s struggles like he was in Episode 6. Since we’ve basically lost Cherri Bomb as his safespace from external stressors, I really think Angel will benefit from an actually deeply caring friend, especially one that doesn’t overstep his boundaries and doesn’t encourage self destructive behaviour. The same goes for Angel by the way, I’m really pissed that they didn’t have Angel apologise for harassing Husk and everyone else. It really is not that hard to at least try to have him feel sorry about that sort of thing. Fuck, here’s something I wrote in like 20 minutes.

——————

It’d be really nice to have someone to talk to, honestly, even though he didn’t speak to Husk very much at all prior to this; he was looking forward to it a little more now. Coming home… er… coming back to the hotel after work and chatting casually at a bar was just… something about it sounded so… calm. Sure, he could go to a random bar and flirt with some rando, but talking with an actual acquaintance while having a few drinks seemed so freeing. Not having to worry about someone staring at him from across the room and getting approached about some kind of ‘offer’ outside.

God, he fucking hated that... “Fuck…” Soft smile melding into a grimace, Angel began to chew slower and slower until he eventually stopped altogether and harshly swallowed. He’d probably been making Husk feel gross like that for ages now. Obviously, he’d seen the disgruntled faces he’d get in return for flirting, but he’d never actually thought about it like that until now. He couldn’t even say, ‘for some reason, it made him feel gross’; he knew exactly why; coming to terms with that, on the other hand, was a lot more uncomfortable than he’d imagined. “Hey, uh… Not to damper the mood, but… I…”His chest puffed as he took a deep breath, and each word pulled Angel to avert his gaze further from his food and the cat sitting across from him. “I was gonna say… I’m sorry for bein’ weird and touchin’ your face yesterday…” As he spoke up, his voice lightly cracked near the end of his sentence. “And when we were filmin’ the hotel commercial… And every time I’ve put my legs on ya lap… And any otha time I did somethin’ like that.”

——————

I haven’t even finished this writing yet (I’ll likely add the rest when I do finish it) but you can see that it genuinely is not that hard to fit in an apology.

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed my little Angel Dust ideas. Be prepared for more eventually

[xerith-42]

What do you think of the handling for Aaron and aphmaus romance? I know a lot of people who hate it and a lot who love it

Take everything I say here with a grain of salt as my feelings on their romance are bound to change once I actually get to Season 2 in my rewatch/breakdown. I'm mostly speaking from memory here.

As it is now, I'm very disappointed by their romance. While there is wasted potential left and right in Minecraft Diaries, never is it more egregious to me than when looking at Aaron. His introduction into the series in episode 67 is great because it's so fucking vague that the creators can take him literally anywhere they want. And in episode 91 my beloved he gets reintroduced and has it slapped onto his character in equally vague terms that he has beef with Zane.

And even though he doesn't get much else in Season 1, hell he's barely graduated from being a "hot mysterious stranger" as the description of episode 92 describes him, I like where they can take his character. Who knows what atrocities Zane has committed to make him willing to fight Zane to the extent that he is. The problems start when we find out the truth as to why Aaron wants to kill Zane.

Aaron is given so much potential with his backstory and deep connection to the conflict with Zane, but it never really goes... Anywhere. And that's because of the vector in which both Aphmau and the viewer are shown his backstory. In Season 2 episode 42 Aphmau just gets shown Aaron's back story because something something Irene's relic, and it is NEVER EXPLAINED. Because the creators don't actually want to explain it, or even care beyond something something Irene's relic. It doesn't matter how, just that she did.

And this takes away a lot of potential from Aaron because he isn't given the choice to open up about what happened in Falcon Claw on his own. He doesn't get to tearfully tell Aphmau in gory detail what Zane took away from him. There's nothing but his anger that she knows after she's already seen it. And this sucks, because we really could have had a moment of the two bonding here, of Aaron opening up about something he's been understandably cagey about, of Aphmau showing him love and empathy in his time of grief.

I know a lot of people parrot the phrase "Show don't tell" but god dammit sometimes it's best to tell. Sometimes it's worse to be shown. This is one of those moments where Aaron should have been allowed to just be standing in the ruins of Falcon Claw, heard Aphmau come up behind him, and try to push her away. Tell her it's just an old village he found in the woods. And Aphmau can then very calmly and tenderly ask "Then why do you sound like you're about to cry?"

This could have lead to Aphmau comforting Aaron during a difficult moment and solidly establishing a real palpable connection between the two. But instead Aphmau is just shown Aaron's tragic backstory, and then they start romancing each other right after. I don't object to this romance happening, I just would've liked for them to have a little more to go off of. I would've liked Aaron willingly opening himself up to Aphmau and that being the vector for their eventual romance.

And obviously I want this romance to happen NOT at the expense of Garroth and Laurance's characters. I want this romance to happen unexpectedly for everyone, but for Aphmau to be able to actually explain why she and Aaron love each other, especially after his death. Aphmau is a character who has never been allowed to explain her romantic feelings, which is fine if you never plan on pairing her with anyone, but having her ship teased with two people and then enter an explicit romance with another and still NEVER go into details about it is just bad writing.

TLDR: Aarmau angers me because I can see where it could have been a good couple but Jesson had to do a Jesson and be bad at writing.

[darkside-skyguy]

Okay so I saw Wish last night and I have some thoughts. Spoilers below!

The movie wasn’t bad. It wasn’t particularly good either though. It had all the elements that should have made a great Disney movie but it fell flat. And I think it all stems from the way the movie is so non-specific.

First, the world building. King Magnifico built a kingdom where everyone would be safe in exchange for giving him their wishes because…….. something bad happened to his family when he was young? And it prompted him to learn all the magic in the world and become the most powerful sorcerer so that he could…..NOT grant everyone’s wishes? We weren’t given enough background on the kingdom and the way it functions to have any kind of emotional impact in the end. Why does everyone agree to give up their wish? It seems like a raw deal. And also why does everyone only get ONE wish their whole life?? And if the wish is the best part of the person and they give it up, shouldn’t everyone over 18 be like Simon? Boring and sleepy and wish less? But this does not appear to be the case. It’s all too vague and muddled to make much sense.

(On a contrary note, I actually thought Chris Pine as Magnifico was the best part of the movie. You could tell he was having a lot of fun with it, even though the character was so shallow! I’m happy about a return to traditional Disney villains, even if this one wasn’t the best example of it.)

Okay, then there’s the music. It was bad. It was like a pop rip off of Lin Manuel Miranda but with terrible lyrics. (“When it comes to the universe we’re all shareholders”?? SHAREHOLDERS?) None of the music seemed to take inspiration from its vague Mediterranean setting and even the big I Want song was bland. In This Wish Asha sings “I wish for more for us than this.” Okay? So uninspiring! In all other Disney movies you know exactly what the mc wants and why they want it. Ariel wants to be humans because she feels trapped and misunderstood under the sea. Belle wants an adventure because she feels she does not fit in in her small village and she longs for her life to resemble the fantastical stories she reads. Mirabel wants magic so she can fix the cracks in her family. I could go on. Asha wants everyone to get their wishes granted because her grandpa is 100 and hasn’t gotten his wish granted. Very noble. But his wish kinda stinks—he wants to inspire people but we’re never told why or in what way. We never find out what Asha wishes for before she learns about Magnifico. She’s just a cookie cutter heroine with a mix of likeable qualities—loves her friends and family, adorkable, passionate—that all add up to a lot of nothing. She could be any one of us watching, I guess, but the thing that truly makes characters complex and relatable is specificity. And Asha is as vague as they come.

Then there are the other characters. None of them are developed enough. Her friends are the seven dwarves basically, but none of them grow past their one-word personalities (bashful, grumpy, sneezy, etc.) except maybe Simon, but even that isn’t really explored. There are too many of them and none of them are distinct. The goat is whatever. The star is adorable (though I’ve seen the concept art for the star boy storyline and I’m so upset we didn’t get that movie! But that’s a whole other post). The queen could have been interesting, but we never got any backstory on her. How and when did she fall in love with magnifico? What were her plans for their kingdom and do her hopes and wishes mirror what the kingdom has become? Asha’s mom and grandpa were just kind of there. And…. That’s it’s really. No one and nothing stands out.

The end was non specific as well. The people are inspired by the whole “we’re all stars” thing but they weren’t even there for the song the woodland creatures sing to Asha so how come all of a sudden they are so into this idea and it saves them when it never came up for them before? It should have been an emotional gut punch moment but it just felt rote and predictable. I didn’t feel any sense of triumph for any of the characters. There was no real magic behind it. Asha is given a magic wand and the king becomes a magic mirror and that’s it, the end. Overall it was very disappointing and I found myself bored in a lot of places.

I’ve read a lot of critic reviews and the one thing that I disagree with is the references to other movies. They didn’t bother me like they seem to be bothering others. Some of them were silly and over the top but like whatever. Even though they didn’t bother me they added absolutely nothing to the movie or my experience watching it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[perfectlovevn]

Heya! I like Eris a lot, the way you wrote her character really intrigued me sincwe I love manipulative and mean characters like her, do you have any fun facts about Eris?

-💫

Heeey, mean and manipulative character lover! Good tastes.

Here’s some facts about Eris.

Eris technically doesn’t have a gender since it is something that you can choose for yourself. I normally go by they/them just to be encompassing but you can call them whatever you want. I probably could have made them more of their own established character instead of being able to name them, but since I wanted to learn how to code that, they became more self inserty.

Eris’s hair is based off of John Doe, though it’s not as curly and more blockish. It’s supposed to show the discord around them.

Eris’s hair will curl around Milo and other characters in some of the scenes. This along with the sound of rope tightening is generally the motif of them being able to take hold or control those around them.

Eris’s clothes are really simple. Just a long shirt and pants. This is mostly so I don’t have to redraw clothes all the time, but I think it fits them.

Eyes are a pretty important motif in the game, so much so that Eris has heterochromia. This is for two reasons: one is to make them stand out from other default MC designs and the other is because of the Wedding Ending where the two change eyes. I wanted to make it obvious that Milo had swapped the two of theirs eyes.

The name tag for each of the characters has a symbol of an eye on it. Milo’s eyes are always closed or not fully open, alluding to the fact that they’re never fully aware of what Eris is doing or what they have done. Even the eyes on their Manipulation and Violence designs are not fully open. Eris’s name tag on the contrary is fully open. You’ll see that characters with the same design of the name tag as Eris like Ryan and Poison also have an eye on their design somewhere. This is to symbolize that they are fully aware of what Eris has planned, even if they are unable to stop it.

Supposedly Eris does have an earring in Manipulation route that matches Milo. I kind of forgot it actually since I basically never draw Eris’s ears lol.

Whenever I update there will be four side stories that feature Eris talking to another character, specifically Ryan and Poison. There is one more character that Eris talks to and he is from the same story Desmond is in. The last one is related to Milo.

A lot of Eris’s backstory is pretty vague just so people can theorize it and to make it a bit more self inserty ( I say as if people just don’t make their own MCs lol). So we don’t actually know how many people Eris has dated, what their backstory is like and what exactly they mean by Perfect Love.

Every time I write Eris, I write them as like an overdramatic villain. I pulled the way they manipulate off of another character I have. He’s a lot more sympathetic and usually uses blackmail though. Eris basically never uses violent techniques throughout the story and mostly focuses on how they can control others. I have another mc I want to make that’s more about the violent and sadistic side that’s not explored as much but that’s for another game.

Similarly, it’s not really known if Eris actually feels love for Milo or love at all. It’s hard to say since Eris is so focused on making Milo into a perfect love. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. Who knows.

Eris is still human of course so they can still die. However if they are killed, it will never be in the way that is satisfying. Somehow it always feels haunting in a way, or greatly dissatisfying. At least, that’s what I think.

Eris very seldom is or acts genuinely surprised. The True Ending is one of the few times where Eris feels genuinely terrified and surprised at what Milo has become.

In theory there can be multiple types of Eris. There are a lot of ways to make your perfect love after all. Doc coined this as Erisona.

That’s about all I can think of for now! I might have more in the future.

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Is Alastor aware of Vox’s children - specifically his daughter?

Personally I interpret that Vox was probably a parent who played favorites [unintentional or intentional] and assuming his relationship with his son was likely strained - Vox gave his daughter more attention & affection. Making the memories pop in a bittersweet way.

I could see Alastor being conflicted, depending on if he knew about Vox’s children before he reduced his former friend turned enemy to static. Alastor assuming he was a terrible father [easy assumption because it’s… Vox lol] and feeling so disgusted with a man who already fell into his distaste. We know Alastor’s daddy issues, I can’t imagine him being comfortable with a [absent father at best, neglectful & emotionally abusive father at worst] around unless he were his little plaything.

I can think of so many ways Alastor could torture Vox psychologically with this knowledge. Gaslighting Vox into thinking a porcelain doll is actually his baby, allowing him to get attached to said doll for a while — only to shatter it right in front of him.

“Oh! Well, you can always make a new one! Haha!”

Alastor’s pettiness levels are 100% showing here as the mentality of “replacing the old with the new” that Vox used to spout out constantly is being used — in reference to his “baby”.

Of course Vox is absolutely distraught, feebly sputtering and trying to pick up the broken pieces of the doll before quickly devolving into pure rage.

“I trusted you! She’s my daughter!”

Alastor is merely grinning, laughing even. Right at Vox’s face. Vox is cursing him out using every word in the book, get violent almost immediately - and if any of the hotel residents are there all Hell will break loose.

Alastor could also just say “Oh she’s dead.” Anytime Vox asks where his daughter is… that’s a lot simple than what I just wrote lol.

But yeah neat little scenario I wanted to explore, I absolutely love love love this AU!! Everything is so well-written and thought out! I hope I didn’t write Alastor too evil, or Vox too pathetic(?) :p

- 🐚

OH JEEZ

Yeah, Vox was... not a great dad. He just wasn't around most of the time and saw his role as breadwinner as the only thing he really needed to do in order to be a Good Father™. He loved his kids in his own, self-absorbed way, but just wasn't involved with them in any meaningful manner. He was never abusive towards them but still managed to traumatize them through the constant, vicious arguments he would get into with their mother. You're right though, he did prefer Sarah (his younger child) to Thomas (his elder child) quite a bit, and she ended up with far more fond memories of him because of it.

Alastor is vaguely aware that Vox was a father when he was alive, but never felt any desire to delve into that aspect of his life. Vox lowkey compulsively overshares with the people he'd attracted to and Alastor ended up learning a lot more about Vox than he really wanted to back when they were friends. I'd never thought about how he would feel about what kind of father Vox was though– that's an interesting concept.

My HC backstory for Alastor is that he was born out of wedlock and never knew his biological father. At age 6, he and his mother left his grandparents' house and moved in with his mother's white cousin and her husband, who agreed to pretend Alastor (who was white-passing) was their son in exchange for his mother working as their maid. When Al was 11, he caught a glimpse of his mother having sex with his "adoptive father"– he'd threatened to kick her and Alastor out of the house if she didn't agree to sleep with him. He grew to loathe the man and eventually smothered him to death while he was recovering from the Spanish Flu that had swept through the house and claimed his mother's life.

With that context, I don't think Alastor would begrudge Vox for being a neglectful father that much since he just sort of sucked in a way that most men from that time period sucked. He'd see Vox's memories of his children in a similar way as he sees Vark; irrelevant and harmless, but a weak point he could easily exploit if he felt it was necessary.

The concept of the doll is fucking brutal. Al would probably be aware of how easily Vox projects memories of Sarah onto various people/things since it happens occasionally with Niffty, but I think that'd be a type of torment restricted to when he's feeling especially sadistic for whatever reason. Alastor thinks of himself as having standards, although he's willing to bend on some of them if he can think of a good justification and already wants to do it. So yeah, basically Vox's kids are off-limits until they're Not anymore.

Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you're enjoying it! I really appreciate long, elaborate scenarios like this; they give me a chance to talk about so many different things and get me to consider elements that I hadn't previously thought of.

[nottamoxxie]

The great and powerful Oz (Little!Vaggie CG!Angel prompt 1)

Request by: S203324

Prompt: Character A slips and does something they exclusively do in headspace in front of B.

Notes:This is SFW age regression, but I don't recommend reading this if you're currently regressed. Whatever you do is your business, but please mind the warnings-Trigger warnings: Cursing, slight mention on age play (which is a kink I don't support), sad backstories, and missing one significant other. (LMK if anything else should be added)-_Vaggy's little age is around 5-6

💜🩷💜🩷💜🩷❤️💜🩷💜🩷💜🩷❤️💜🩷

Angel dust returns to the hotel after a long day of work. He hates his job, and he hates Valentino. He just wanted to snuggle up with nuggs right now and forget everything else, he could really use something to make him smile today.

Vaggie is on the couch in the lobby, crying...? He has never seen her cry before, what could've possibly happened?!

"Um- hey." He greets her, not really knowing what else to do.

"What do you want?" She asks.

"Oh, I want a lot of things... none that can be obtained by you though." He jokes.

She hugs herself, still clearly upset.

Angel clears his throat. She really is upset. "Speaking of, where's your girlfriend?" Angel asks.

Vaggie sighs. "Her and Alastor are looking into some more advertisement around hell- they probably won't be back until tomorrow. If you were here for the meeting this morning, you'd know that." She frowns at him.

"I was busy!" He defended.

"Doing what exactly?" She asks, harshly.

"...Work." He says vaguely.

She shakes her head and sighs. "Not surprised."

They sat in silence for a while...not even looking at each other- but neither one felt like leaving.

Vag doesn't really think about what she's doing when she sticks her thumb in her mouth to calm down.

"You eh, you okay der, sunshine?" Angel asks suddenly.

Vaggie sniffles. "M'fine."

Angel raises an eyebrow. "Well- You're certainly acting fine." He says. He gets up and starts to walk away-

"I miss Charlie..." she mumbles. "But she's gone without me- m'lone." She says.

Angel sighs, he can't believe he's really doing this. He turns around and sits down on the couch with her. "Do you need someone to keep you company?" He asks. "I know I'm not the best choice but-"

"Please?" Vaggie asks.

Something inside him breaks as Angel nods. "Okay. Yeah, I'll stay. I won't leave you."

She wipes away her tears. "Tanks." She says.

"What's going on with ya? Yer acting so different." He says.

She turns away. "You'll laugh at me."

He shrugs. "Probably, but if it helps. I won't judge you. I'm not exactly in a judgy mood."

She nods. "I'm...a little." She explains. "So, I'm only just a kid right now." She says.

Age regression. Angel has actually heard of that before- mostly because he was getting caught up on a bunch of different kinks. He found out a few things about age play and age regression happen to show up. They were both mixed together quite a bit, which really can't be very safe for the regressors. "Oh, okay."

She looks at him. "Really? It's otay?" She asks.

"Well, yeah. I told ya I wouldn't judge. What you do to deal with shit is your business."

She looks down, confused. Then turns back to him with big eyes. "So, what we do?" She asks.

Angel dust shrugs. "Uh, I dunno."

"Will you stay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I guess I can stay with ya. So what do you usually do when you're...uh regressed like this?" He asks.

She thinks about it. "Can you tell me a story?" She asks, sitting closer to him.

"Uhh-" he's not used to her being so close. "I don't really know any stories." He says.

"But, I'm tired, and I don't want to think about missing Charlie anymore." She pouts. "Pleaaaaaaase?" She asks.

"Uhm... I uh, okay. Fine." He says.

She smiles and looks at him in anticipation.

"Did I ever tell ya I have a sister?" He asks.

Vaggie shakes her head. "I don't thinks so."

"Yeah..." he shrugs. "She's not here, she was uh- sent upstairs. She was always a lot better than anyone in our family..."

She continues to look at him.

"Her name is Molly. On nights where our parents were... not so nice, or the world seemed to be too loud, or cruel- she used to ask me to read her the wizard of oz."

"I know that one!"Vaggy says.

"Well, shit. I was totally going to bullshit the story for ya, I barley remember any of it." He says.

She gasps. "You said'ed bad words."

"So?" Angel asks.

"That's bad!" She says.

"Do you want the story or not?" Angel asks.

Vaggie crosses her arms. "Okay."

"So, I know she got trapped in a tornado or somethin and got sent to the gem city with a lion, a scarecrow, and ugh- what was it?" He asked himself.

"The tin man!" She says. "The lion needed courage, the tin man needed a heart, and the scarecrow needed a brain." She says. "Like you."

Angel couldn't help but smile at her sassy attitude. "Oh yeah? What about Dorothy?" He realizes that he can distract her a lot better by her talking rather than him telling the story.

"She wants to go home. They gaved her red shoes that was also magic and she says 'the No place like home' and click-ed her heels and she go-ed home!" She smiles.

She continued to talk about the story, he nodded, asked follow up questions, and suddenly he realized that she hadn't actually read the book at all, but only saw the movie...he's not too sure if he had actually seen it in his life.

"Is that why you came'd to the hotel?" She asks suddenly.

"What?" He asks, taken aback.

"To go to Heaven and see Molly again?" She asks. "You miss her?"

Fat nuggets realized that angel was back and ran to him. Angel picks up the small pig and shakes his head as he pets him gently. "Nah, I doubt anyone has the ability to redeem me..." he says. "Just seems counter productive."

She looks at him, saddened. "You don't thinks it will work?" She asks.

Angel dust pauses to look at her, realizing his mistake. "Well, that doesn't really matter, you know- I'm wrong a lot! I mean- I'm here so, clearly I'm not..."

She covers her face and starts full on bawling.

"Oh- shit! Please stop crying, Vaggie. I'm sorry! What l do I have to do, huh?" He asks.

"I just want Charlie to come back." She says. "I want a hug, but she's not here."

Angel frowns, it's not like he can really help with that. Vag hates men, she wouldn't be very comfortable if he hugged her, and to be honest, he wouldn't either...but then he realized there was something he could do. "Ya know... when I miss my friend Cherri, you know what I do?" He asks.

She shakes her head. "Cry?"

He holds up his beloved pig in front of her and hands him over. "Fat nugs always makes me feel better, he gives the best hugs."

She smiles, taking the pig and giving him a hug.

Once she's calmed down, Angel looks at the time and realizes that she should really get some sleep. "Let's get you to bed, huh?" He says, offering her a hand. "It's been a long day."

She doesn't take his hand, but she does stand up.

He respectfully retracts his arm away from her, and walks her to her room.

"Charlie will be back soon, doll. Don't worry." He says.

She nods. "Thanks Angie."

"Night, Vag." He says.

Angel pets the pig gently and whispers to him: "Watch over her tonight, nuggs."

The pig oinks happily.

"Good boy."

🧸Possum note: Wrote this 2 years ago. This isn't new.

Two years...damn

[mha-grievances]

Alright, I’m bored, so I’m gonna tell you my opinions of the various MHA villains. This isn’t a dee analysis on any of them. Just my vague thoughts on them. I won’t be tackling any of the Nomu (including Kurogiri), spin-off villains, or movie villains:

AFO: He’s just there for me. For a Big Bad he’s kinda lackluster. He lacks the charisma of the archetype that he’s trying to be a part of when compared to other members of his archetype (giant looming threat) such as Darkseid and Thanos.

Tomura: Meh. I know people didn’t like him initially when he showed up cause he was a man-child, but I didn’t mind that. However he’s not really interesting to me. Sure his backstory’s sad, but his grand plan is to just disintegrate everything… just cause? While this is nothing new, it was kinda lackluster seeing as the narrative was putting Tomura down the path of being the next biggest villain. Like I get it, fuck society, but what does destroying everything accomplish? I dunno, his story feels weak to me.

Dabi: He’s definitely overrated by the fandom, but I like his character. He’s also got a kickass design and quirk. Dabi’s motives are a bit more than “fuck the world, let me destroy it” as his beef is with his abusive father. I can buy into this more-so than Tomura’s motives

Himiko: Definitely one of my top villains in the series, but I feel like she wasn’t explored as well as she should’ve been. Himiko’s definition of love is to literally become someone else, which can serve as a metaphor of people who aren’t able to accept who they are and aim to change everything about themselves. You compare this to Ochako’s experience with love which fuels her to be the best possible version of herself. I also would’ve loved to see more of her relationship with her quirk, how it has dominated every portion of her life. Finally, I do agree with those who say she’s often fetishized.

Spinner: I like him, but he’s been severely underutilized. His arc about mutant quirk discrimination was quickly wrapped up in like one issue and that’s it.

Mr. Compress: One of my favorite MHA villains. I love his quirk, his personality, and design. However, he struggles with a clear lack of motives, his only boiling down to the fact his ancestor was one of the greatest villains to ever exist. Why did Mr. Compress choose to follow his footsteps? Was it for fame? Because he agreed with his ancestor? Or maybe for another reason? At most we can say he hates society like the rest of the villains, but that doesn’t really give us much insight to his character.

Twice: My favorite MHA villain. If there’s anything from MHA that can be considered great, it’s the writing of Twice’s character. Twice is someone anyone can relate to, a person cast aside by the world and is willing to do anything to make friends. His quirk has caused him great anguish and he constantly grapples with his self identity. Out of all the LoV members, he has the biggest heart, but easily the most fragile one, and that’s why he’s a villain. It’s why he refused Hawks’s hand when told he could be a good guy. He saw his friends, the people who accepted him for who he was, and chose to fight besides them even if what they were doing was wrong. Twice is without a doubt the best character to come out of MHA and I will die on this hill.

Dr. Garaki: one of my favorite villains concept wise. A man who is canonically smarter than Nezu (who has an intelligence enhancing quirk) who makes Frankenstein like monsters could’ve been a super cool idea for a main antagonist. He could’ve served as a parallel to Izuku as Dr. Garaki’s quirk provides no offense utility. He’s essentially a quirkless person who lives longer. He is kinda a walking plot device though.

Magne: As many people would agree, she was wasted potential. A trans character who could’ve helped with MHA’s world building. I do wanna know why she chose to be a villain, but unfortunately after the Overhaul Arc she’s never brought up again.

Mustard: I like Mustard a lot but he’s yet another character with wasted potential. A kid as young as 1-A who hates heroes, a lot could’ve been done with that.

Moonfish: Unpopular opinion but I really like Moonfish. Why? Cause of his design. It’s very Lovecraftian like and I’m a sucker for those sorta things. Moonfish isn’t a deep character but he doesn’t need to be. He’s just evil and that’s fine. His creepy factor more than makes up for a lack of character.

Muscular: Serves as a physical obstacle Izuku has to overcome. Does his job well in that regard. Unlike Moonfish his appearance or quirk doesn’t make him stand out to me.

The Eight Bullets: Categorizing them all together. I like them. I can empathize with their struggles and how they wish to be needed despite being social outcasts. Obviously I wish more detail was put into them, but that’s pretty much it. I will say Rappa kinda doesn’t belong in there cause unlike the others, his motive is just that he wants to fight Overhaul, but that’s not to say I dislike him. I just feel he should’ve swapped places with one of the other Yakuza who weren’t the Eight Bullets.

Overhaul: In terms of presentation, design, and quirk, he absolutely is one of my favorite characters. His motives suck though. Man is in possession of one of the strongest quirks in the series and his motive is “ew, quirks are cooties”. Wanting to create quirk erasure bullets to cripple heroes so that the Yakuza can rise again is more than a fine motive for him. The “quirks are a disease” thing comes off as dumb. Maybe if he actually had a quirk that affected this behavior, this motive would’ve made a lot more sense.

Re-Destro: Boring. He could’ve been a neat Magneto type character but he’s immediately thrown to the side despite somehow having a city’s worth of members and spies layered throughout Japan.

The rest of the MLA: Couldn’t care for any of them, except for Geten, but that’s only because he has a cool design and quirk. The girl who can place mines had a cool quirk and design, but she got on my nerves.

Giran: Sometimes I forget he exists 😂. He’s basically a walking plot device.

Edit: I forgot someone 😭

Stain: I felt his message was extremely important to the themes of MHA and I like his design. However I feel that they neutered his message by having him target any heroes who weren’t All Might. There are other heroes, like Tensei, who are great heroes, just not at the caliber as All Might in terms of fame. Doesn’t mean they’re any less of a good hero. Imo he should’ve been more selective with his targets.

Edit 2: Forgot about another person 😭

La Brava: I like her. I think she’s cute and her relationship with Gentle is both genuine and well written. Her being a hacker’s really cool.

Edit 3: Forgot yet another person 😭

Gentle: thought he was cool too. A more human villain compared to the others we’ve gotten, and while not evil, is still someone who fits the bill of a villain.

[prisoner-000]

Hey, here's a fun question: Which lines are sung visually/directly by the characters in each MILGRAM MV?

T1:

Weakness: Haruka's 'Ah, ah, ah's' are also shown in video form in the chorus. He definitely does have that manner of laughing in canon, but I'm not sure there's much to say about it. He has every disease

Umbilical: No lines are sung/said. This might resemble Yuno's whole 'innocent girl with little agency' thing that people saw her as at first. She doesn't even get to say anything in her own story.

Bring It On: Nope. No lines sung/said. Like with Yuno, I think this might be taking away from Fuuta's agency on purpose. To portray him as more of a follower that got out of hand instead of the group leader. Though this may also be a budgetary issue, as Milgram's animation was pretty limited at first, they couldn't afford much lipsync animation.

After Pain: Arguably, her part with holding on to Rei's sleeve can be lip-read as 'I'm sorry/gomenasai' which would sync up with 'gomen' in her lyrics, though I think it's supposed to be more of a parallel than a direct spoken line. It's still a very fun detail that I don't see people talk about that much!

Throw Down: No spoken lines. This time, I think it's just Shidou putting up that barrier between the audience and what actually happened with his backstory, making it more vague and unclear.

TIHTBILWY: "I'm sorry!" In the scene where Mahiru looks at the camera, and maybe also her monologue on the phone? The lipsync doesn't quite match up, but it's possible. The fact that the only proper thing she says is "I'm sorry" hurts, though: She really does know she did something horrible and wants to atone for it, but doesn't know how.

half: "The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart; I imagined you saying "See you" was the same as "It's over"; Only if your heart would change, but that's not possible; Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float and away and disappear" (essentially: the entire chorus). It's notable how this is all sung during Kazui's performance on stage, once while wearing his mask, once without.

Magic: "See?" (From 'See, isn't it a great thing?') and "God/Wise One" ("Kami-sama" from 'Dear Wise One, is this ok?'). To me, the 'See?' is directed at herself, convincing herself that the things that happened to her were actually good. The whole song is just Amane trying to justify all the horrible things she went through.. And the visual cue just makes that more obvious :(.

MeMe: "Why am I here? It must be a mistake, right? Take a good look at me" and "Never forgive" (from "I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I'm right"). First one is pretty self-explanatory, I feel like the second one has some implications about Mikoto's judgment of other people, mayhaps.

HARROW: No spoken lines! Due to the lines being more general in establishing Kotoko's goals and not really towards any one person in particular, it might have been awkward to fit a speech segment into the video. So. Hmm.

T2

All-Knowing and All-Agony: No lines are sung directly except for mayyybe an "Ah" in the middle. I think they might be trying to highlight Haruka's tendency to Ah, eh, hm, in his speech mannerisms, with these being his only visually spoken lines.

Tear Drop: "Shut up" (from "Just shut it, will you? You know it all") and "So nauseating... So creepy... will you please disappear". These are very clearly said to a person in particular; though also possibly just her clients that infantilize her in general. Love that these lines get emphasis considering Yuno's character.

Backdraft: "So worthless!/What a load of crap!" and "Come up to the ring and face me!". Very much still Fuuta's tough guy act talking to the people that judged him.

It's Not My Fault: "We are just the same" (from "I am doing this just because I'm bored, we are just the same" and "I'm always so pitiable!" (Translated as "I'm always the drama queen" but this sucks as a translation so.. lol). Aimed at Rei, mayhaps? The first line carries some very interesting implications with it. Wasn't here for the drop of this MV so it's probably already been analyzed to death..

Triage: "I want to be forgiven, I want to live!" Ohh Shidou.. be careful with that developing savior complex. Basically Triage's whole message summed up into two lines.

I Love You: Just a simple sigh. She's too exhausted to say anything more than that.

Cat: "Phew, wow, I'm drunk.. Hey, if I said I liked you, what would you do?" and arguably him breathing out smoke/sighing at the end. Infamous confession scene. IMO, this is still him confessing his feelings for his friend, which leads to that insane downwards spiral that ruins his life.

The Purge March: No lines spoken. Due to most of the MV taking place before the murder but the lyrics being about her motivation for murder... Yeah, it's natural no lyrics are visually said. (Since they also want to keep her actual murder scene vague).

That's all we've got so far!! Hope you enjoyed :-) if you have any thoughts feel free to add on!

[counterfeitphantoms]

What's your interpretation of the Phantom Queen?

Evil? Satan? Any good? Why does she want Jamaa?

I'd look on the wikia, but I am not sure how accurate that is, and the lore of AJ is never in one place. Wish someone made a doc or just a really long thread to reference.

good call on the wiki, there's a lot of flat out incorrect/non-updated info on that 😭 (though @/Asteralium is working on a project to consolidate the lore all in one place!) . my thoughts under the cut because it is a LOT...

BUT if we're talking my interpretation of the canon queen, I believe she flat out IS just evil, flat out. Lesser Phantoms (Common types), on the other hand, likely aren't pure evil and have some form of agency over what they would like to do, and we've seen some even flat out go to Jamaas side with play-wilds phantoms (playable ones) and classics pet phantoms (which is stated they just want to be loved) Along that same vein I think kings generally are pretty evil, not sure of their capacity to really WANT anything else except for what the queen wants to some vague degree (though the king in the books is... odd, he seems VERY set on revenge and he seems to believe he should be the one rightfully ruling over Jamaa)

But back to the queen. hmm. I think her ultimate goal is just to consume more and more land/resources, for no particular reason other than to continue spreading and consuming. She doesn't have some tragic backstory or overarching reason for doing what she does; she just wants MORE, constantly, no matter the cost or harm it may cause. It falls in-line with phantoms pollution theme really well, I think! Since phantoms have recently been established as an evil force thats consistent across all dimensions (play wild and classic are canonically different worlds now, but the phantoms in both are the exact same phantoms that can just hop from world to world using portals); I think they ultimately just want to bring in more and more Jamaas' into their own world (the phantom dimension we see a lot of in playwild, and some in classic) just to assimilate them, thus adding onto their own world as a result!

The Phantom Dimension I think is… expansive, insanely so. It's a large sprawling network of corrupted lands that have become so twisted that nothing except phantoms can live inside of it (think: the phantom badlands in AJC, where phantoms pollute land for their own taking, making it inhospitable to literally anything else); I dont think the alphas (or animals, as a whole) can really begin to grasp what the ultimate endgoal of phantoms really IS. They certainly don't fully know about the Phantom Queen- maybe of her existence, but not her full reach/what her real gameplan even is; though, maybe AJCS greely does considering recently he's been becoming more and more aware of another world besides his own existing & all that! (on the other hand, play wilds alphas dont even KNOW that there's at least 4 kings, and still believe there's only one at the moment, so they absolutely aren't aware of the queen even a little)

Ultimately I think. PQ will never really be satisfied. there'll never be a point where shes just like. okay, pack it up guys we're done here. I think if she manages to assimilate classic or play wilds world, she'll just move onto another Jamaa, then another. She has little care for the destruction she's leaving behind, and absolutely barely even considers animals something worth acknowledging

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies~

Anonymous asked:

Do you watch other adult swim cartons like moral orel or the venture bros?

Not really, sorry :( Nothing against these shows, I guess we just don’t gravitate towards them. Venture Bros was recommended to us though.

Anonymous asked:

"Nooo Ortho wanted to slurp this one" not a problem at all, i don't mind sharing uwu uhuhuhuh sorry for cursing the askbox so soon too XDDD i couldn't help it

Ah it’s so nice when people share… uwu

No worries btw, every single thing in this blog is cursed one way or another, so it really fits xD

Anonymous asked:

No bc the way your fem idia is just insanely body goals

Omg Anon, thank you?? I don’t think if she should be body goals though, she’s kind of too skinny for her height… she just has a high metabolism genetically I guess, I’m pretty sure any other means of achieving her appearance would be unhealthy...

Anonymous asked:

I never thought about ADeuce in the future, but the idea of them being together without really committing to a relationship makes a lot of sense.

I imagine a similar scenario for Ruggie/Leona. They wouldn't even see eachother that frequently, but they still keep in touch and hook up whenever they do meet. They are not just keeping this up because it's beneficial to them, they actually seem to enjoy eachother's company. It's not anything close to dating, and they would never call it love, but I feel like that's the highest level of commitment you can get from either of them. Also Ruggie would probably spend a lot of time working, leaving the Sunset Savanna quite often. If he sees a chance to bag some extra cash he is not going to let a little distance stop him! Meanwhile Leona is just hanging around the royal court. Has he given up on his plan to help the poor people of his country or is he cooking something? Honestly not even Ruggie knows...

(this is related to the 6th reply from this post)

ADeuce really are a bit annoying like that, but I love them for it. Everyone knows you want to be together, guys. You’re just being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, because you’re too afraid the other party is going to ridicule you for expressing your feelings that both of you are already aware of, because you’ve been sleeping together for years, COME! ON!

Also everything you said about Ruggie/Leona makes sense! Ruggie is too busy and focused on his job(s) to start a family, and Leona is either plotting something or just doing nothing being unmotivated… so whenever they have an opportunity to do so, hooking up sounds logical: why not? It’s definitely not love and not a romantic relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless… a mutually beneficial one, but also a surprisingly “comfortable” one because both of them are so used to this dynamic that doesn’t require any emotional effort. They’re surprisingly on the same page.

Anonymous asked:

i might have written an OC spanking Riddle once :eyes: usually i just see characters and readers or OCs being spanked by Riddle, but he would be so cute being spanked! teary eyed, confused and flustered, his ass clearly needs attention

(this is related to the 2nd reply from this post)

I know right? For some reason it just works. Maybe it’s because of his backstory and him being so very serious but also so immature, but if you imagine a spanking scenario with Riddle, it’s like… he belongs there lol

Anonymous asked:

About how young was Silver when he and Lilia first started fuckin 🤔 honestly I'm super interested in what those early days would have looked like, and how their first few times would go

Honestly, it depends on whatever route you want to take for any specific post/art/comic/etc, and I feel like with us it’s always a very vague and implied “kind of young”.

We explain it with Lilia having uhh alternative views on parenting, it’s like a mix of him being a fae (turns out, this doesn’t excuse him 😔), him not knowing how children work and him adoring Silver way too much and having too much fun with him. He’s not the best person lol So yeah, Silver was probably way too young to figure out what’s going on, but also this whole thing was a “norm” to him, because it also happened very gradually: the goodnight kisses became more mature, the way they cuddle changed; and with Silver absolutely adoring Lilia, trusting him so much and believing that Lilia only wants what’s best for him, he never had a problem with any of it. Even the first times weren’t too much of a shock to him, especially since Silver considered it to be some special type of training that he really wanted to get good at as soon as possible.

The Zigvolts would’ve been terrified if they found out…….

[kinghijinx22]

Top 5 Canonical Pansexual Characters

So I recently made a post about why one of my all time favourite characters Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods is amazing pansexual representation and how the way her feelings are portrayed felt very accurate to my own. In that post I also said that there isn't enough pan rep, which is true and to prove my point I made a list of the only 5 undeniably canon pansexual characters I know of also 2 of them are from Steven Universe which is almost cheating to pull examples from. This is my ranking of all 5 of those characters based on how good they are as rep because I thought this would be a fun list to make and it's still Pride Month so yeah.

5. Willow Park (the Owl House)

So the Owl House is my favourite thing out of all the things mentioned on this list and Willow is my second favourite character here overall, but the way her being pan is handled is non existent in the show. There is nothing that even hints at it and Dana Terrace only announcing after the show seems disingenuous. I'm not too mad because the show already has plenty of queer rep that is fleshed out and sincere, but in the case of Willow it feels like Dana trying to retroactively cover all her basis. Besides this Willow is still a great character though, very likable, plant magic is cool and she has a great arc of finding her confidence and following her passion for sports.

4. Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

An incredibly complex character that people with no media literacy love to hate. The idea that you witness her redemption character arc in reverse and how you only have word of mouth and flashbacks to go off of because she's actually dead throughout the whole show is kind of genius. As pan rep though, her orientation is left pretty vague. Like we know that she loved Greg and that Pearl loved her but whether Rose reciprocated Pearl's feelings is never answered. It's implied that she might have been polyamorous with a bunch of people and that it included Pearl but then Rose decided that she want a monogamous relationship with Greg and that's why Pearly became jealous of him. But again this is never explored beyond very vague hints.

3. Sadie Miller (Steven Universe)

Most likeable human character from Steven Universe and easily one of the best side characters. I like her arc of really finding herself throughout the show like when she quits her excruciating job at the Big Doughnut and discovers her passion for singing. She also discovers who she likes throughout the show when she is shown crushing on guys, gals and nonbinary pals throughout the show, eventually settling down with her enby partner Shep. While Shep is only in one episode near the end of the show they are pretty cool and they are really cute with Sadie as a couple.

2. Finn McNamara (Life is Strange 2)

This one is kind of weird to me because while I do like Finn overall and can sympathise with his backstory, the fact that they lock his romance with Sean behind making some morally bad decisions does have some pretty messed up implications behind it. Because there are 2 romance options in Life is Strange 2 between a girl named Cassidy and a guy name Finn and they make the Cassidy romance the one that's easier to get because it just shows up when you choose not to rob the weed farm guys, meanwhile you have to choose to go with Finn to use Daniel's powers to help them with the heist. Now the weed farm guys are assholes and you do need the money and Finn does have some good motivations, but he's also thinking selfishly and putting Sean's brother Daniel in danger and teaching him to use his telekinesis powers to get what he wants. By locking the same sex romance option behind the morally bad decision you are tying queerness to inherent deviance which sucks. Having said that, Finn does have a sympathetic backstory of being homeless after being used and betrayed by his father in his own drug business and I do believe he does want to make life better for his friends. Also the way that him being pansexual specifically is explained in the game is a very accurate portrayal. When Sean asks him who he likes Finn replies with "I don't see gender, I see people", which shows that Finn is genderblind when it comes to his orientation which has always been a pretty good way of explaining what being pan is like. I appreciate Finn for being overt Pansexual rep, the only dude pansexual rep as well and he is a likeable character overall even if his romance path carries some problematic implications when you compare it to the same sex option with Cassidy.

1. Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)

One of the best protagonists from one of my favourite games. I love how nonconforming Mae is in every sense of the word. She's openly queer and refuses to conform to societies gender expectations. She's a cool cat person who plays bass in a band with her friends. Always speaks her mind, does what she wants and is unapologetically herself. Also an incredibly nice person at heart even if her bluntness and inability to read the room sometimes leads to some not great situations. A heavily flawed but still amazing character. She also happens to be pan which is very accurately portrayed throughout the story which I wrote a post about. To summarize, she explicitly states in one scene that she doesn't care about the gender of a person but she just wants to date someone that is tough and cool and "GRRR." There's a bunch of other stuff that she says throughout the game but it's also revealed that she has an ex who is a guy named Cole and she develops intimate feelings for a girl she meets at a party known as "Bombshell." Mae is an amazing character who I deeply relate to on a lot of levels and also admire for her ability to be herself and not care what other people think.

Picture sources

Mae Borowski - yorunowaltz on Tumblr

Finn McNamara - all ya faves are gay, matey on Tumblr

Sadie Miller - editsteven on Tumblr

Rose Quartz - Your Fave Loves And Supports LGBT+ People on Tumblr

Willow Park - (1) Daily LGBTQ+ Characters on Tumblr

[sad-scarred-sassy]

i love love love your feylin writings

i don’t ship them at all really and i don’t want them to have an infidelity situation going on but i love them having these conversations!! i was never feyre’s number one fan because of sjm’s writing but she was unrecognisable by the end of the series and i love how you’ve acknowledged that but also made her .. three dimensional. it’s amazing what good writing can do for the most flat of characters like resident girlboss miss archeron

you know what else i love?? tamlin apologising and acknowledging how his actions could’ve affected her negatively. and without going into his tragic backstory?? unreal. i personally don’t think he’s a monster but i fully get why feyre thinks that and i have so much respect for his understanding why that is even if it’s misconstrued and/or upsetting to him (i think his well meaning actions had unintentional negative consequences and feyre has every right to feel hurt even if he hadn’t meant to, and i’ve always wished that feyre would see that she had perhaps unfairly villainised him - after she healed and had more time, of course - but again to accept that you are the - however unwitting - villain in someone else’s story and not immediately trying to change their mind or tell them how they’re wrong or whatever takes growth and therapy lol

i hope they can have more deep chats though hopefully that will help them both heal and go on their SEPARATE paths

love seeing the sisters mending their relationship a little - they should all move to spring and spend their time frolicking as they should’ve been able to do as kids

i do want tamlin to kind of be like “i don’t want to be someone/something you regret again” should they have another .. heated moment

like we love a pathetic wet rat of a man but don’t do this to yourself king you deserve better

Hello!! ❤️ I woke up to this message and it made me smile so bright! Thank you for reading and analyzing my writing, I feel so soo honored and grateful.

You speak so true about both of them deserving to heal and free themselves of the burdens of their current lives, and I think that they’re very very far from healing, even if headed in the right direction. I never set out this story to be about an infidelity arc, but I get why it appears to go that way. Feyre stepping into Spring alone could be viewed as an infidelity to Rhysand on itself, so in part it is.

I have a vague idea of how I see their story progressing, can’t say if I want them together or not yet, even if I love a depressing story I think I owe them the peace of a life they actually chose.

Also, I LOVED your take on Tamlin telling Feyre he doesn’t want to be something she regrets again, oh damn it really got the demons inside me sizzling, I might just add this sentiment in the next chapter. We all do love the pathetic aura he is displaying, but my man also needs to set boundaries if he wants to heal, even if it hurts him to do so!

I’m so touched you took your time to write this to me, and I’m so glad you could resonate with these deeply DEEPLY flawed characters. It’s honestly the biggest compliment I’ve received.

[thesernotthedroidsurlooking4]

Final Ahsoka thoughts

I… okay. That was okay. But it was kind of just okay. I… hoo boy this might be unpopular. But.

… Live action Ahsoka never started being Ahsoka to me. She just isn’t it. The low voice, the stony delivery. While perhaps it wasn’t a total miss—sometimes a mannerism hit, like a smirk, or a flicker of body language—those glimpses of true Ahsoka only made me realize how excited/invested I would be if that was her consistent, constant portrayal. And, thus, how disengaged I really feel without seeing Ahsoka through the screen. It’s like a split-second glimpse of color in a black-and-white world—it only makes you thirst more for that world of color you can’t have. And I long for animated Ahsoka and Ashley Eckstein so, so, badly it hurts. I tried to get into Rosario Dawson, I really did. I just… can’t do it. The spark is missing. And without that spark of excitement, the show just couldn’t hit for me.

I don’t think it’s even just the actor’s portrayal, though—this might be controversial, but I don’t see where the arc or development is. Sure, there was an attempt at one, that I can vaguely pick out: Ahsoka is angsty and sad over Anakin. She’s chasing Thrawn. Ahsoka tries to take on her own padawan and finds it difficult, digging up her own fraught feelings over her apprenticeship. Ahsoka goes through a Force vision, reckons with her past, gains peace, and ends up, according to her, where she needs to be.

Except… all of this falls apart upon further probing. It’s all so vague, so blurry, and lacking proper framing. Unless you’ve really done your Star Wars homework and are willing to do the analytic heavy lifting through the force of your own sheer nerd-dom… is the audience really shown her motivations? Her deeper feelings?

Why is Ahsoka shown that intense Force vision at that moment, in episode 5? What induced it? She didn’t seem to stumble across a powerful Force artifact that caused it, did she? Then the only answer is for her to be at such an intense crossroads, such a deep internal conflict, that she had to work it out via the Force. Except… what crisis, what turning point? All we’ve seen at that point is some general my-master-went-darkside angst, and a momentary defeat (but considering the sheer amount of fights Ahsoka has been in, that isn’t special.) So why? Why then? What was the driving need or purpose of the Force vision sequence?

…why, to introduce the casual fans to her backstory and Skywalker connection, and to appeal to nostalgia for the Clone Wars fans. That’s it. For all the meta we can write about the light side/dark side struggle, about her relationship to Anakin, to the order, to the war, et cetera—it’s nothing new. It’s all been done before, and when Ahsoka comes out in the white cloak Gandalf/style, as if she’s been enlightened… I couldn’t buy it, because what enlightenment? Where was the epiphany? What did she truly face that she hasn’t already? What meaning did she really make out of all that jumble? Heck, we aren’t even shown if that vision’s Anakin had anything of real, Force Ghost Anakin in him or not, and it seems like we’ll never know. It’s all so vague. And sure, maybe vague and light-handed is the more delicate way to handle some stories, but there needs to be more framing in order to make the subtlety work. I just didn’t see it.

And why, exactly, does barely-Force-sensitive Sabine want to be a Jedi? We aren’t told. Why did Ahsoka agree to train her in the first place? Since when is Sabine Force-sensitive to any degree at all? Or did she develop the sensitivity through rigorous training? What is Ahsoka’s interest in training such a non-traditional Jedi? This could be fascinating to explore, if we were shown it. A lot of us could get excited about an Ashoka-style non-traditional Jedi order, about her pioneering a different way of how to go about using the Force. But all we can do is extrapolate. Forcing Sabine, the Mandalorian square peg into a Jedi-shaped round hole, just ended up as it started: a dubiously plausible retcon meant only for some cheap Master-Apprentice parallels.

The ending, too… why is that galaxy where Ahsoka needs to be? What does she mean by telling Sabine to let it go (implying she’s letting go, too)? Is she letting go from fighting, because she’s used violence for too long? Some of that theme was there, sure—but to what end? How are the two of them supposed to do anything on that planet? Why is Ezra supposed to have just left them behind?

anyways, less eloquently, because I’m getting tired of typing: Ezra is the best, I love him, best damn part of this show by a kriffing mile, and Sabine was great when she wasn’t being forced to be a Jedi. I loved seeing Anakin soooo much, but honestly, it’s probably just the nostalgia talking. that’s it that’s what I got out of this show