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#I really don't want to be alive anymore
lirulua · 5 months
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I hate money <3
So we're just in a perpetually tight spot, apparently and my mental health is shit and this is making this worse. And no we cannot get financial help from the government because my dads boss is a cunt and puts his tips as part of his pay check rather than tips so we make "too much" for assistance.
Anyway, we need help covering rent, getting food, my dad needs new glasses cause his broke and we need gas in the car. And I need some shorts for summer since I need to start walking for the sake of my health but we genuinely cannot stand the heat, it makes our depression worse we can't move, hell our bladder doesn't even work right when we get too hot. (We cannot afford to thrift right now either, but that is what we will be doing if this post actually works)
I'm trying to get some booths for craft fairs but they're either $300-$1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) or expect you to sign your soul over to them and almost all require you to have insurance which I also can't afford.
Our Ko-Fi is open for commissions. Currently, we have
Mushroom Boys - $20
Mushroom pops - $12
Mini Octopi - $5
Gummy Bear Plush - $10
Giant Heart Pillow - $200
Mystery Boxes - $25 $50 $100 $200 $500
Please if you can help, just please. If not Please spread it around. More stuff will be added once a week, next up are mini whales.
I don't know what to do man. This shit isn't worth it but my girlfriend is moving in in july which is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
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dirty-fucking-pirate · 7 months
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I thought I had a friend, but I guess not. I think I need to stop trying to reach out to people. I just keep hurting myself with it. It's genuinely wrecking my mental health. Somehow worse than just isolating myself from the whole world.
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maulfucker · 11 months
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So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)
#hm i should make an original post tag#obimaul#like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??'#he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does#post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚#but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi#'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit;#once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent;#and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing''#(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão)#it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries#and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over#so. imagine with me.#i might make something out of this. maybe.#but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience.#... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words#'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore'#<- pilantra by jão and anitta
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uselessnbee · 10 months
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her#but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son#just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead#so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options#that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive#thinking about it makes me go feral#they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible#and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too#but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye#percy jackson#sally jackson#pjo#hoo#percy and sally#percy jackon and the olympians#whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work#and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts#don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him#but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore?#and he knows that's not true but what if?#i'm thinking it#okay i think that's enough
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azaracyy · 7 months
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today, cupimon prays for your happiness too.
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cuteniarose · 6 months
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Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe
She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that
#oh and when I say spirit fuckery I mean it in both the literal and metaphorical sense. blame kat's latest raava and vaatu fic#yeah I'm just gonna start posting random LoK opinions on here now. this blog's been dead long enough#not really an incorrect quotes girly anymore sorry#not even a girl anymore. but you know#most of my red lotus and oc posting will remain on my personal blog though bc no one wants to see that#anyway. yes. Unalaq's wife. when I say the avatar franchise has a mom problem this is exactly what I mean#80% of characters don't have a mom. the moms that are alive either have little to no screen time or mentions#or they're basically Schroedinger's mom in the sense that they exist but not really#the exceptions being like. pema and suyin. and maybe senna though she also has very little screentime#my point is. the twins are younger than korra. I know avatarverse has a precedent for putting kids on the throne. looking at you zuko#but really we should have gotten unalaq's wife as chief of the nwt#introduced her in book 3 during the lead up to p'li's prison break#but that's just my objectively correct opinion#northern water tribe chief raspberry when#(according to avatar wiki her name is malina so I've been calling her raspberry in my head ever since I found out#malina means raspberry in russian that's why. probably in a bunch of other slavic languages too idk I'm not an expert#and she shares a name with katara and sokka's weird white stepmom from the comics which no sane person considers canon. so that's fun)#the legend of korra#unalaq
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dreadlockholiday · 21 days
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I miss the stucky fandom from the 2020-2022 era, it was so lively with so many amazing people and there was so much good content going around
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waitineedaname · 4 months
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a svsss/hlvrai crossover au. is this anything.
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galaxywhump · 7 months
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I'm really sorry to come here begging again but i could use some cheering up. Or something. Anything.
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verdiesque · 4 months
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made the mistake of thinking a bit too long about political situation at home and now i'm crying again lol
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pardonmydelays · 6 months
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i'm going home tomorrow & i'm so excited to see my family, i really missed them
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invisiblegarabgetruck · 10 months
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But to be honest tho, no matter what will or won't happen to Prime in the future won't stop me from drawing him like nothing happened anyway HAHA
I did it with Doofus Jerry, hermit Jerry, and now I will do it with prime (kinda concerning why I keep loving on death flagged characters in this franchise 😂😂)
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psqqa · 1 year
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this might just be because i am deeply, deeply terrified of The Vast Depths Of The Ocean, but i just cannot get myself up in arms about the whole "grave desecration" part of titanic tourism.
it is in fact significantly more comforting for me to imagine my hypothetical watery grave as somewhere people are constantly dropping in at all times than one where i am left to rest in cold, black, unfathomably desolate peace for all of eternity. cold, black, unfathomable desolation is precisely where the "nightmare" part of this nightmare scenario comes in for me, after all.
so yes, if you happen across my sunken bones, you all have my full permission to haul them back up to land. i don't care how much damage the oxygen and change in pressure is going to do to them and their archaeological value, just get me out of there.
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scarletcomet · 4 months
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my therapist was trying to convince me that I'd miss out on all of these things if I died, but I really don't care??
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totheidiot · 4 months
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well, i feel like shit. time to isolate myself from my acquaintances and slowly withdraw from them i guess!
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californiaquail · 2 months
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well this working interview was a......disheartening experience i'm afraid. does anyone know how to get a silly little boring straightforward office job very quickly when you've never worked in an office
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