#I really like thisssssss oh my gosh

[pixxiesdust]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh 😧

When you procrastinate so much that you don't start your final painting until 1am the morning it's due. I don't wanna do thisssssss I wanna draw other stuffffffff and I don't wanna spend 5 hours hanging my stuff uppppppp I can't even cut my paper straight despite using a ruler and measuring twice, how am I gonna hang frames and place labels evenlyyyyyyy Last time I did this the gallery crew did it all and we just had to drop our art off but now there's a new gallery director and she's like "yaaay everyone does it themselves!!!"

I don't wannaaaaaaaaaaa

AND I gotta shower before showing up which means less sleepppppppp and it's already 4am and I gotta be there at nooooonnnnnnn

I just don't care anymore let me be doneeee aaaaaaaa

Phew, I got through it. I didn't have to do much since they decided it would be faster for themselves to hang my frames than to train me how to do it. The only thing I had to do was change the wires on my frames since I had made them too long.

My fingies hurt now lol

AHH I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T GET TO THIS EARLIER! That sounds so tough oh my gosh, you really had a lot on your plate! I hope you got enough rest after though, and I hope the final piece was what you wanted it to look like. Treat yourself after such a tough day and make sure to relax over the weekend!

[my-attempt-at-recovery]

Panicking

Suddenly having a break down. I’m moving in one month. Oh my gosh. Wtf did I do. I intentionally chose a school that’s on the other side of the country because that’s what I thought I wanted. But I’m second guessing it so much now that it’s too late. My psychologist is trying to set me up with a therapist there but I don’t want one. My psychologist and I connect so well, like it’s weird how well we clicked, and that’s the only reason therapy is working for me. I don’t want a new therapist. And I don’t want a new psychiatrist. And I’m gonna miss my bed so much. And I’m gonna miss my dog so much. And I’m gonna miss my mom, and my friends, and my psychologist. When I think about all the goodbyes a part of me dies inside. I’ve grown up all my life having to say goodbye to the people I loved. But it’s doesn’t get easier. I’m being such a baby, and I have to grow up. But I don’t know that I can do this? Social anxiety has such a big grip on me. How am I gonna make friends? I can’t do it. Not to even mention the depression. And I put on this mask and make it seem like everything is okay, so everybody seems to think I’m fine. What if all of this takes over and I can’t keep up with school? All of the sudden I just really don’t want to do this. Why did I do thisssssss.