#I refuse to pay $200 to have someone else do it.

[ask-mrxmts]

//uhHh gunna go on a small hiatus due to not having internet+other (ill expln in the tags c/tw vent/rambling)

[flammenkobold]

One thing I am a bit obsessed about in TLT (aside from everything) is Harrow's arc about survival and living.

She is alive, she is surviving, against all odds.

But - crucially - never at all costs.

She shouldn't be alive, but she is. She wants to be alive, but she will not sacrifice the people around her to do so.

She cost 200 children, but she knows no matter what nothing she does will repay that debt - those lives.

When Gideon dies to save her (and Camilla) Harrow refuses the pay the price of becoming a full lyctor. She looked at the cost of becoming a lyctor and said no that is too much and I refuse to pay.

For all that she wanted to kill Gideon the First, when he is about to be killed by someone else she choses to help him over her own safety and this gives her the information she needs to protect herself against him without taking his life.

She calls, subconsciously, for help in the River and the ghosts of those she met and lost in Canaan house as well as Ortus come to her aid and still, even if her soul is on the line, once she becomes aware of what is going on she tells them to leave - only to find out that they could have left at any time and chose not to because they want to help her.

Her arc in Harrow the Ninth is a lot about surviving and about accepting that sometimes the price has already been paid and to accept that. But ultimately she find out that her refusal to pay might actually have paid off. Gideon's soul is still there - Gideon is still there. And so she goes I am not intending to die, but I am not going to let go of the chance to save Gideon and be with her again. There is a difference between keeping a slip of a dance card and saving the last dance. And it's made clear that she intends to find another way out of the mess she is in, that she has no intent to die herself but she can't, at this moment, return to the living without risking Gideon again.

And then we have her bits in Nona, sparse as they are, but she is back to finding her own way, she is back to fighting and then she places her life into the hands of Alecto. Alecto who gave Harrow the will to live in her darkest moment and if Alecto wants her dead then she is not going to fight her. And again this pays off, instead of killing her Alecto swears herself to Harrow.

And idk this feels so meaningful, especially in her own book, where she find herself in a world where people around her see the deaths of others as a necessary price to pay, where other people are often just considered small change or nothing worth at all - or at worst a liability to be eliminated - Harrow looks at the world and goes: yes I want to live, yes my life cost too much to throw it away, but the lives and souls of other people have value too. She survives, she fights for her life, but she never places her own life above everyone else.

She haggles with death and imo so far she keeps winning.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for wanting a 200$ refund on a 400$ model that was REALLY below par in both quality and customer service?

This was one of my first monetary experiences with my own credit card and account, to preface.

So, I'm learning SFM and have regular dates with my boyfriend in vrchat. Between the two of us we knew enough to make models of myself in both, but not enough to make one for my headmate that me and her would both be satisfied with.

TL;DR, the first modeler we went to cancelled after we proved too impatient for them and they didn't need the comm money, so we put out a post calling for 3d models and asked our moots to spread it on here and on Twitter.

Eventually, we found a few artists that were within our post-high-school graveyard shift budget, but then an artist appeared in our asks that was interested in our order. Now, from the very BEGINNING they were blaring Sus alarms in our head with how they typed, their profile, their portfolio, the whole thing, but we still talked with them about it and eventually got to dming on discord over it.

We agreed on 350 with a down payment for the model, and she went to work. Somewhere along the line it increased to 400 with a down payment but I don't remember the circumstances for why.

I was a little impatient at times, but she still did good work, even if she misinterpreted our suggestions sometimes and was high at least once when we asked for an update.

We'd assumed that she would rig it for SFM and VRC as a part of the main payment. She then told us it would cost extra for the rigging.

We were understandably miffed but she justified it with money problems, so we sighed and went with it. When it was finished, she sent us a ZIP file holding all of it, and...then we didn't have any idea how to get it working.

She helped us, thankfully, but the whole thing was really annoying for our computer illiterate phone-dwelling ass. And then we had no clue about unity because it had been years since we'd made the other model with a base. Then she joked about having a $140 fee for it and that was pretty much the final straw for us, deciding to just pay someone else to port it for us because we were getting genuine headaches from it.

Since then, we've been using the model as planned, but have noticed a lot of clipping issues with it, it turns out the person we found to port it actually does similar quality models from scratch for like a FRACTION of the price, and despite us telling her it was going to be used on Oculus(i refuse to call it Meta) Quest, it was INCREDIBLY unoptimized for it.

This is a first world problem to hell and back and I'm not actually going to do it because I don't want to deal with her again after all the miscommunication but

Aita for being suspicious enough I've been scammed/fed a sob story to want at least a partial refund here?

What are these acronyms?

[polyhexian]

Collected thoughts on the Grimwalker Ghost Zone:

Poor Caleb's experience as a dead person is just. Not normal.

Most dead people are gonna keep an eye on their friends, their kids, their grandkids, and MAYBE their great-grandkids. And then there's no direct ties left to worry so much about the living anymore and you can get on with your afterlife.

And then we have Caleb.

So it's like. The average dead person keeps an eye on the living for 100 years after their death, at most. Caleb Wittebane, who's been cloned 200 times in the last four centuries and feels personally responsible for his still-living brother trying to enact a genocide--

In undefined characters-watching-from-the-afterlife scenarios I usually default the watching happening via TV unless stated otherwise. But it's TOH so I'm imagining Caleb slouched on the couch in front of a big crystal ball. He's not alone of course, Evelyn is there, she checks on him often like, uh. hey sweetie. you doing okay?

Caleb: Evie, meet Virtue! HE ONLY LASTED 11 MONTHS

Evelyn: …you know you COULD stop paying attention to--

Caleb: NO I CAN'T

Evelyn: *sigh* No, you can't.

And of course all the Grimwalkers are there, cuz, like. Where else are they gonna go? They barely had lives, wtf are they gonna do with their afterlives? Might as well wait for Belos to croak, they'll figure out what to do next AFTER they've gotten some closure.

So they're all just in this house together. It's the afterlife, stuff just gets provided, and the afterlife saw fit to provide them with a big stupid house. There's plenty of space and the crystal ball somehow gets repaired every time it suffers an anger-induced shattering and the liquor cabinet is always well-stocked.

Caleb's watching the living with the same energy as someone who's been watching a show since its premiere, but then the writing started going downhill and the plot jumped the shark and now they can't STOP watching because they intend to see this through to the bitter and disappointing end. When he first died he was so upset he refused to even THINK about Philip for a decade and just paid attention to his wife and kid. At some point he checked on Philip out of morbid curiosity, which led to morbid realization, which led to him thinking he should check on Philip more. And then there's clones and this Collector kid and Philip is obviously planning SOMETHING and then Evelyn dies of old age but Philip apparently has no intentions of dying anytime soon and then Caleb's KID is dead and Philip is still alive and Caleb's GRANDKIDS are dead but Philip isn't and there's been 20 Grimwalkers so far and Philip shows no signs of stopping either living OR making and killing Grimwalkers and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING??

When Evelyn dies she's so ready for her reunion with Caleb. "I'm so glad I can finally rest in peace with my beloved--Caleb what are you doing?"

He's standing in front of a conspiracy board like "Philip's spent the last few decades cloning me and killing the clones and I don't like where it's going."

Evelyn: What. WHAT? Philip's ALIVE? I haven't seen him since he killed you, how the fuck has nothing eaten him??

Caleb: Btw meet Caleb 2, Hunter, Hunter 2, Hunter 3, and Nameless Vivisection Experiment (he's working on a name).

Assorted Grimwalkers: *awkward wave?*

Evelyn: CALEB WHAT?

Caleb's just like, Evie, you have no idea how glad I am you fell off Philip's radar, we're lucky all he did was steal my corpse. I'm being completely serious, unfortunately.

And then the Grimwalkers start coming and they don't stop coming, and they're just stuck in this together because what ELSE are they gonna do? Caleb staring at the crystal ball like "This is Hell. The Puritans were right. Hell exists, and this is it." Evelyn's like "Hell isn't a place, dear. It's just a situation. Our neighbors are resting in so much peace, they'd probably think they're in your Heaven if they knew what that was!"

Everyone isn't watching at all times, cuz that'd be ridiculous. It's kinda like when you're having a party for a sports game, not everyone's paying attention to the TV. You'll have people hanging out chatting and eating and chilling and then there are the people who are intensely paying attention to the game.

Caleb's the one intensely paying attention. Everyone else kinda pops up like "so is he dead yet? is he close to being dead yet? no? bummer. who's this? nice to meet you Virtue. 11 months? yikes"

And it's not like it's just them! It's the afterlife, everyone else who's ever died is perfectly capable of dropping by for a visit. Not that many people do, because the Grimwalker Ghost Zone has a bit of a…reputation. Like. Those people are NOT having a normal afterlife. Let's just. Leave them be.

Sometimes the Witteclaw kid comes to visit. Hi Mom! Hi various tragic brother/uncles (brouncles?) who are literally and figuratively younger than me! Oh, hey new guy, welcome! 11 months? Yikes. Hope you're settling in alright! Mom, what state should I expect Dad to be in when I go say hi? Last time he was manically planning which part of his brother he was going to punch first upon arrival. Ah, depressive episode? Got it, I'll be gentle.

Evelyn's family come to visit like yeesh you and Caleb are still paying attention to the living? It's been like. 400 years. No one stays this invested this long.

Caleb, gesturing at the CB: MY BROTHER IS STILL ALIVE AND IS LITERALLY BEATING A CLONE OF ME AT THIS VERY MOMENT

Relatives: Okay but have you considered, like. getting over it.

They're not even wrong. Continuing to watch the living for this long is, like, the same energy as keeping tabs on your high school friends that you haven't spoken to in 30 years. This isn't healthy. You need better hobbies. Okay it's KIND OF understandable since Caleb's brother and clones are involved, but like. You realize this is entirely optional, right?

Evelyn: Caleb, honey, please, you PROMISED we could have dinner with my parents tonight.

Caleb: ENOCH JUST KILLED A BIRD WITH HER BARE HANDS

Evelyn: We've all killed birds with our bare hands, darling. Come put your shoes on.

When Tell pops up he turns out to be just as invested as Caleb is, on account of the wife and kid situation. So Caleb actually has consistent company for 15 years while they both basically live through the same hell.

Tell walks into the kitchen for a beer and finds Caleb face-down on the floor and Tell's like "what's up man" and Caleb's like "Virtue died" and Tell is like "isn't he like eleven months" and Caleb just nods and Tell's like "cool I'm gonna go meet him" and just leaves Caleb on the floor. Caleb's like "wait didn't you hate him" and Tell's like "yeah but I mean. he doesn't know that."

At some point someone tells Virtue "Y'know Tell literally hated you" (Miles? my money's on Miles) and it starts a whole sibling fight that Evelyn has to break up.

"MILES SAID TELL HATED ME!"

"I didn't hate you I just hated the idea of you! It wasn't personal!"

"Yeah he was always really smug when another Grimwalker would rot in the ground."

"MILES DON'T TELL HIM THAT!"

Caitlyn and Dust die and Dust is like "what is WRONG with your daughter?" and Tell is like "ouch, but fair" and Virtue's like "she probably gets her penchant for not caring about Grimwalkers FROM HER DAD" and Tell is like "HEY." At this rate Caleb's gonna be the first dead person to have an aneurysm.

Evelyn's just glad to have Caitlyn around. Sure, she's dealing with the shock of her death after over a decade of dissociating, but Evelyn's just like FINALLY, someone who isn't a Grimwalker, and she's family to boot!

Caitlyn: Wait, family? I guess you look like a Clawthorne but I've never heard of you. How are we related?

Evelyn: Haha well I'm your many-great-grandma who Belos had very personal beef with 400 years ago and I may or may not be the reason why he decided to enact his sick game of house with you. I would say I'm sorry but literally none of this is my fault.

Caitlyn: Oh my god.

Evelyn: Haha yeah watching you and Enoch over the last 12 years has been extremely horrifying on a deeply personal level. What's your favorite alcohol? I promise we have it.

When Enoch dies Tell's like "well it was nice hanging out Caleb, thanks for all the screaming sessions, I'm gonna go get some quality time with my dead family now, peace" and Caleb's just like haha cool. fine. GLAD YOU CAN FINALLY REST IN PEACE, TELL. how many of my bones are left? there's no way this can continue after they're all used up, right? They're down to a ribcage and he's counting down the ribs.

Jasper dies and gets greeted by Tell who's like "howdy, normally our ortet would greet you but he's a little busy dealing with emotions right now"--*muffled screaming down the hall*--"so it was decided I'd be the best one to explain things since we've got some things in common." Jasper's kinda dazed like "uh…I didn't really think anyone was gonna greet me" and Tell's like "HAHA YEAH none of us ever do."

Jasper becomes just as invested as Caleb is and Tell used to be, because Hunter. So Caleb has a new bingewatching buddy! Yay?

Belos: *about to punish Hunter*

Caleb: *dragging Jasper away* Y'know what, you don't need to see this, let's go outside and get some air or something--

Evelyn: WHAT'S THAT, CALEB? YOU THINK IT'S GOOD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WATCHING THINGS THAT UNNECESSARILY TRAUMATIZE YOU??

At some point Manny Noceda shows up, all cheerful and polite on the doorstep like "Hi! I heard there might be some people here who're watching someone who's involved in my daughter's life? She kinda stumbled into your world, see, and I was thinking--"

Evelyn's just blocking the doorway staring at him like "Listen. Before I let you in here. I NEED to make sure you understand the centuries of bullshit you're about to step into."

"Haha yeah I get it, family drama sure is--"

"SIR NO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS."

Manny thinks he understands what he's getting into. Manny does NOT understand what he's getting into. Manny takes it in stride and enjoys these people's company anyway. Evelyn is happy to have another person around who she can count on to not be a constant mess. Manny/Evelyn BFFs 4afterlyfe.

Of course Manny also now has a VERY in-depth understanding of the 4-century clusterfuck Luz has gotten tangled up in and that is. Kinda anxiety-inducing. But like, he's pretty sure she's got this! That's his daughter! She's genre savvy, she'll be alright! Even if this situation is…way more horrifying than he realized at first.

His own dead relatives call him up like "Hey Manny! How's the watch party going? Luz still in that weird fantasy world she discovered? She having fun living out her own personal adventure story?"

Manny thinks about that time last week when Caleb and several Grimwalkers got drunk and tried to make a definitive list of the Top 5 Worst Things Belos Has Done and half of the entries were 3-way ties and there were WAY too many Honorary Mentions, and he just forces a grin and goes "Yep! Luz is doing great! She's having a blast! My new friends are super cool!"

"Oh, that's great! Could we meet th--"

"NO."

Manny tries to find things to do with his weird new friends but like. He's a 21st century sci-fi nerd. He has no idea how to relate to 400-year-old witches. But he thinks, well, I lived in New England, and Caleb lived in New England. So he's like "hey do you guys wanna do Thanksgiving together?"

Thanksgiving wasn't an official holiday until the 1800s, but Caleb knows what a feast of thanksgiving is, it's even a Puritan-approved party (ie the Pilgrims) that they'd do when they wanted to show God their gratitude! So he's just like, Manny. WTF. This is NOT the time.

Manny: Well, I mean, we're halfway through October so now's the time to start planning--

Caleb, gesturing to Belos gooping on various woodland critters: YOU THINK THIS IS WORTHY OF GIVING THANKS FOR???

By the time Luz becomes relevant, EVERYONE has started watching religiously. This is like. The final minutes of the big sports game. The series finale of their lives. But after Belos is dead (and summarily punched by everyone) most of the Grimwalkers stop paying any attention to the CB at all. Like. There's nothing else tying them to the living now. Whew. Cool. Vengeance is had! No need to pay attention to the living world ever again!

Except Jasper, of course, who figures he's just gonna watch Hunter by himself.

And then Caleb collapses next to him on the couch with snacks like "sup" and Jasper's like "oh, you uh, you wanna keep watching with me?" and Caleb's like "I suffered through four centuries of this, what's one more? and after watching every season of my brother's bullshit Grimwalker Trauma And Murder Show, I deserve to watch one of you live a decent life in the infinitely happier sequel series"

Manny's like "Yeah I'll stick around too, it looks like Luz is gonna be spending a LOT of time in your world and I'm really gonna need people to explain things to me. Anyway, I know this is a little late, but things have calmed down now and we have time since it's still just the START of November, so…Thanksgiving?"

And Caleb looks at Hunter, alive and free on the CB, and then glances out the window where Enoch is kicking the shit out of Belos in the backyard, and says, "Alright, yes, a celebration is in order. This is indeed worthy of thanksgiving."

"Oh, awesome! Uh…important question, what kind of cranberry sauce do you like?"

"What the fuck is cranberry sauce?"

JFJEJAJJFJRJWIFF ABSOLUTELY LOSING IT OVER ALL OF THIS

I feel like miles is back there too if only because he and Enoch are nasty little rude children and friends because of it.

Also don't forget flapjack AND hawk hunter are there. Flapjack sitting on Caleb's head and pulling his hair until he passes him a piece of popcorn or a peanut. All of them going completely apeshit for hunters first kiss. Camila appreciation club. Jasper and Manny both delighted by the fact Camila being mother to their child makes them like. Fathers in law? Mutuals? Proxy???? Something. there's a kinship there and it's funny. Hunter carves waffles and flapjack gets so excited he flies into the TV and knocks himself out

[ansible-official]

I've been amassing a horde of PCs made from dumptser dive parts and have a bookshelf of hdd's. Unfortantely coordinating storage and maintaing a bunch of machines is getting out of hand. I thinking about breaking my rule and paying for hardware and getting a used server, backplane and rack but i've got no idea what the hell to look for or what a reasonable price is. Anytips on buying a used server? My goal for this machine is that it can hold or easily support a backplane with 24+ 3.5" hdds and having a gpu or igpu that can stream 4k SDR video while running a slimmed DE

hi!! first off, labgopher is a great resource for skimming ebay (though not fully comprehensive). you may have better luck setting saved searches w/notifs on ebay, if you have time to kill waiting for a good deal. oh, and uh, avoid buying gear where the pictures look like a trash heap...i once got a server wrapped in grocery bags and sticky with purple juice, crammed diagonally into an undersized box for a circular saw.

second. do not buy HP/HPE gear. (reminder, this take is not endorsed by redhat.) their shit is so outdated and crippled...the hours i sunk into finding out that a performance server (DL380p) from ~2012 had no support for UEFI boot, then setting up Duet just to get something bootable... yeah. many such cases. (after another issue someone said "oh maybe you got one with the half-broken iommu" and refused to elaborate.) pay the dell tax, or check out supermicro or whoever else, but not HP. there's a reason it's cheaper than everything else on the market, and it's that no one wants it.

so regarding the design requirements: a typical 2U LFF cage holds 12 drives. there are some machines (e.g. Dell R720xd2) that have _two_ rows of drives, which would give you the 24x capacity you're looking for, though these are gonna be pricier because of their density. the other approach would be to tack 1-2 jbod chassis onto a server. i've seen a 12xLFF 1U chassis on ebay before, with like 3 rows of drives, which was pretty neat. a chassis with all of its drives up front will take up more vertical space and probably not be much shallower than a regular server anyways.

so my ideal approach would be this:

2U server such as an R720, with plenty of room in the back for PCIe cards ($200 | $350 | $600)

a JBOD* or two, enough to meet your disk needs (remember you can also use any storage in the front of the server) ($150 | $350 | $500 each)

whatever PCIe storage controller cards and cables you need to connect the jbod to the server ($15 | $40 | $60)

a GPU that fits in your PCIe space ($??? idfk*)

*re JBOD and controllers and cables: i have not actually successfully set up a jbod of my own, or even a controller card. the only reason i got my NAS off the ground was because some madlad published a way to crossflash the H710 card that came with my servers. for this reason i am nervous to recommend too far outside what i've actually tried and accomplished

*re disks: try to get gear that comes with drive caddies, or at least uses very common caddies like dell/supermicro/netapp. i have a hitahci jbod that i found cheap on ebay...but have no idea what caddies it needs so it's kinda useless lol

*re gpu: i know next to nothing about gpus

thanks for the ask!! i think, you have inspired me to spin off another blog, since i actually do have hardware experience, as opposed to...ansible...yeah. i'll follow up when i have a new blog set up :)

[strawbabysweet]

Love spending my evenings getting harassed by pest control 😁

Details underneath bc it’s long as fuck

So basically last week me and my mum were in the garden and saw this huge fucking rat (like the length of its body alone was the length of my forearm) and immediately called a pest control service but they wanted £200 and were kill only, we don’t want the rants killed just removed and nest gone.

Anyways my mum struggled to find somewhere who would do it without killing them below £200 so she put out some posts in hopes of finding someone to do it. This independent company contacted her and said they’ll come do it for £160 kill no killing involved so my mum agrees and like they said they’ll come round Saturday (today between 10am-2pm). Today rolls around the guys doing it ring my mum saying they’ll come round a little later as they got stuck at doing a job but they won’t be later than 3pm. Anyways surprise they don’t turn and dodge my mums calls.

Then at 9:05 two guys turn up, like banging on our door asking for the money before they do it. My mum tells them not a chance, they’ve messed her around and says she’ll find someone else do it. They then hang around, keep knocking on our, shouting through the letter box, ringing our doorbell and just loitering around our drive saying they won’t leave until they get paid for the products they were going to use. My step dad talks to them through the ring doorbell being nice cause at this point I was having a panic attack from how disruptive they were being and he said to them like it’s just not gonna happen and they should leave because my mums calling the police (which she actually was) and that it will look bad for their company if that happens. They still refused and then stayed claiming we had to pay them for their equipment they would have used (they didn’t even put the stuff down the garden since we wouldn’t let them). Anyways they left like 10 minutes ago now but im literally still calming down and won’t be sleeping tonight due to my anxiety😭

[17gz]

it still baffles me that i knew this friend for 6 fucking years and we had a convo abt their partner that lasted over 8 hours where they fully acknowledged all the bullshit their partner puts them through where even I LEARNED SHIT THEIR PARTNER DID TO THEM... they even acknowledged that every single person in their life hates their partner. to the point that it made them cry. they had so long to break up with that person so that we could renew our lease and fix shit. we all made it clear that the living situation depended on their relationship with that person and that we could not continue living with them.

(little break here to say: we were originally planning on splitting the rent 4 ways when their partner got evicted. we had an ENTIRE CONVO ABOUT THIS. it would have been abt $775 per person which is IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND IN NYC. i knew their partner was having a hard time financially so i said maybe they could contribute max $500 per month, closer to $200-$250 per month whether thats covering utilities, or groceries, or making someone elses rent easier to pay. i said i was VERY comfortable meeting them where they were as long as it was above $100 a month. which is fucking reasonable for an able bodied employed person. which this person was. and they talked alllll this big shit abt usually paying $1500 for rent but being in a tough financial position. and no matter how many times i said "thats unreasonable, thats out of all of our budgets, lets stick to something under $500 and start with that to make this work" they REFUSED to listen. and then ended up paying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR THE FOUR MONTHS THEY STAYED THERE RENT FREE MOOCHING.)

this person did not contribute a fucking cent for any of us. this person actively made OUR SPACE a fucking hellish nightmare to live in and made it SO FUCKING HOSTILE. CONSTANTLY RACIST AND HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC AND FATPHOBIC.... literally a closeted terf

and when it came down to making a decision. when there were months leading to weeks to days where you'd been aware of all of this and we were all waiting for you to rip the bandaid off. you chose them over your friends who were there for you through literally everything.....

and they have the nerve to treat us like we're the villains in this..... im glad none of our friends are believing a word they've said... but jesus....

oh this isnt the first 2 people they've done this to btw...

we're 2 out of 4 ROOMMATES THIS SHIT HAS HAPPENED TO.....

like jesus christ you are a lost cause theres no help for you, you hit rock bottom every 5 minutes but refuse to acknowledge that you are the one causing all the problems and instability around you because other people can only take so fucking much...... emphasis on SO FUCKING MUCH.... i cant even fully describe all the shit i have seen + SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SEEN.

YOU SEE A THERAPIST AND PSYCHIATRIST 4x A MONTH OUT OF POCKET AND YOU WONT EVEN TAKE YOUR MEDS BUT YOU LIE ABOUT TAKING THEM..................................

good lord i just cant believe i wasted 6 fucking years of my life trying to see the best in this person when 1) they would NEVER EVER do this shit for us and 2) THERE IS NO recognition of wrongdoing on their end. everyone is wrong but them. they're obviously the victim....

[excitingrbl]

it'll be two years next month...

...that I've been legally divorced.

I knew it was definitely the end in 2016. meaning, there would be no more reconciling or attempts to for the greater good of the family. the other party had some other agenda still in mind because no matter how clear I was that a divorce was needed, I was met with resistance until 2020. that logically tallies up to be only 4 years but I stated that we should get a divorce after we had been married a year. I was told that I was giving up too easily.

if you haven't heard this from anyone else, please listen when I say that choosing to walk away from abuse (doesn't matter the kind; walk away from it) and/or toxic behavior that is not changing is not just giving up. there is no right way to stay in a harmful situation, mentally, physically, otherwise. unfortunately, if your partner isn't leaving visible bruises, scars, or causing obvious signs of neglect, people will minimize your shit. as hard as it may be to get through that alone, I do encourage pushing through.

it'll be two years next month that I've been legally divorced with the ex-husband having a child support decree of $182/per month. since he wasn't working at the time of the divorce, the amount was based on his attained education. since we've been divorced, he's had 3 different jobs. I haven't taken him back to court. he also went back to school and if I'm not mistaken, has completed whatever he returned for so that means more education. I haven't taken him back to court.

because I don't want the hassle of court, as long as he pays what he was decreed to pay, he'll hear nothing from me. does my daughter deserve more support than this? OF FUCKING COURSE. she deserves emotional support from BOTH of her parents. she deserves financial support from BOTH of her parents. before anyone says the $182 IS financial support, sure. however, anyone actively raising a child full-time knows that $182 is insulting to the amount required to provide for a child every month. so when he doesn't pay or pay on time, it's a reminder of how much he doesn't care.

he didn't decide out of the kindness of his heart to give me $182 a month to contribute to the raising of his child. he pays it because the court told him he has to as a result of us getting divorced. during the divorce, I found out that he pays two of the mothers he had children with after our daughter, $200 a piece. even more of an insult that there's not even a thought of rounding up $18. I pause when this thought crosses my mind because if he was truly paying the other mothers $200 a month but didn't even care to send anything for our daughter until he was told he had to, what makes me think he gives a fuck enough to round up? silly me.

why didn't I seek child support prior to the divorce is a question I've been asked here and there. the amount of mental stress required to follow through with everything wasn't ever worth it to me. the paperwork alone is enough to fuel whatever rage I have tucked away to keep moving forward. 21 pages of a document asking the basic of questions but because they're so basic, it's a constant poking of the bear kind of thing. there's also a chance that I will have to prove he's the father, beyond the birth certificate. even more insulting and a reminder that I was once involved with someone who really don't give a fuck about nobody but himself.

I'm also reminded that he's supposed to pay 50% of all our daughter's medical bills. he doesn't because I don't send him the bills. he didn't have a job so what good would it do? we're supposed to tell each other whenever we move and give each other the new addresses. I still don't have a address of where he lives to this day. I even reminded him when I moved. nothing.

these are all things for which I can take him back to court. however, it will be on my dime. much like literally everything else. the divorce he refused for years, included. so I often sit and ask myself "is going to court worth it?" and because he knows this much about me, he "safely" assumes I won't take him to court. stress is a major trigger to my diabetes being unmanageable so these assumptions are no longer safe to make. I shouldn't have to remind a father to pay a crumb of financial support every month. not even once should I have to remind a father to give a fuck, even if it is a small one. especially when no one has to remind me to provide for our child every day, week, month, year of her life.

and when we reduce this entire post down to that, it's clear to see why I asked for the divorce the first time, 10 years ago. no one should have to remind you to take care of anyone you claim to love. if you need reminders, you might also need to sit with your definitions of love and priorities.

[ravynfyre]

Mr. Landgrab stopped by tonight to "make things right". lol.

Long story short, although he sure the FUCK knows EXACTLY where the property line for the railroad is and what THEY own, well, he's "70 years old. He can't possibly remember what little bitty pieces someone else owns" that he farms. Also, "the railroad TOLD him to farm that land", even the mine dump that the EPA says SHOULD NEVER BE PLOWED. You know, because they have "been farming that piece for over 100 years." Which is weird, seeing as how the MINE whose land it was was still in operation 100 years ago. In fact, it was in operation all the way into the 50's. Besides, it is the FARMER'S job to ensure that the land under use is not PROHIBITED FROM THAT USE. Why does he think that there's almost 100 acres along this road alone that is not under the plow!? BECAUSE IT CAN'T BE!

But, anyway, he seemed to think that "allowing" me the use of part of my acreage, and then "allowing" me the usage of a tiny piece of railroad property that he didn't have permission to either use or give away, would make it a "wash" for him to keep using the REST of my land, and another small piece of railroad property... railroad property that he absolutely CANNOT access without using MY land to do so. (also even though he promised me $200 a year to use my piece, anyway... which he "forgot" about, immediately before saying, "wait, no, it was supposed to be a wash.")

So, after refusing to pay what I calculated was true and correct rent for the quality of acreage of mine he's been using, and cutting that by over $200 - to "save me from having to file taxes on it! I'm helping YOU out!" - I fully expect him to go tattling to the Railroad about the little piece of theirs that I am using.

That's fine. See, here's the thing... he wants to do that, 1) I'm sure that the EPA would just LOVE to see all the historical data on the years that he's been plowing up mine dump land - allowing it to run off into a wetland, no less... and 2) even if I pull my fence back to my property alone, and leave every inch of railroad property, with ALL of my pasture now available, I STILL gain half an acre of pasture. And he STILL will have NO ACCESS to that 1.9 acres of railroad property.

And I would rather see that 2 acres go wild and lie fallow than see him be able to use even an inch of it now.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I think a lot of this OtherFrost / Nick Calandra Second Wind drama is less about high crimes, and more about Nick being an asshole in general, and Frost and other young creatives getting mad that they let him take advantage of them.

That said, given Nick's professional history alone, it's obvious that he's bad at his chosen profession, and the kind of guy who makes the absolute worst decision for the stupidest reasons, a good 60% of the time.

And if any of the rest of this is true, he isn't even selling out for anything good. A free trip to Iceland and a $100 swag bag? A $2000 gamer chair he hated that he immediately got rid of? Corporate connections at fucking THQNordic? Dude.

I also like the part where he sold one of his websites for less than $10k, then had to whine at his new corporate overlords just to get a salary of $85k. ...And that only lasted a couple of years, then that inevitably fell apart and he was back to scrounging.

The state of video games journalism is dire. This is a $200 billion global industry, but we figure out which games we want to play from corporate showcases and random streamers, so the people trying to do serious reviews and analysis are warping review scores just so Activision will send them food. It sucks, but such is life. They need to admit games criticism is now like literary or film criticism, a solely academic thing no one is going to pay you very much to do.

Because the alternative is a bunch of guys with big journalism school loans, desperately back-stabbing each other and being shady for a tiny piece of a very small pie. ...And they all have to have second and third jobs anyway, because you can't live on this.

Nick is more a cautionary tale of what happens when someone has tons of ambition, but what they hope to achieve is kind of shit in the first place.

Manage a Target and do a podcast on the side, guys. Your dreams are outdated and the pressure of that is driving you all mad.

And YES, he hits Yahtzee a little here, as a selfish guy who just wants to get paid to do art, to the point that he actively takes zero interest in the business that is being done with his stuff. Like he knows he could make more going indie, but he wants someone else to handle all the legal / business stuff and pay him a salary / healthcare. Which is pretty much the impression I always have had of him.

Is that bad? I...don't know. There is an argument to be made in favor of that. And going hard on a guy for NOT being greedy or ambitious is kind of weird. I guess the biggest problem is that it seems he refuses to step up and speak out when shit behavior is going on, because he literally does not care so long as he gets paid? Which, if true, is shit. There is certainly a moral responsibility here since he is a legal part / co-owner of the business, whether he likes it or not.

You don't get to play the awkward smol bean artist too pure for this world, after this many years profiting from it. Like, grow up, dude.

[vanrosewrites-blog]

What's Next?

It's May 18, 2024, 2:10 pm. I just finished recording a video for a job I recently applied for. It took me 10 takes because I always end up not saying the right words. I used to be so confident in myself and skill skills but now, I don't know. I lost it all.

Yes, I feel lost. I don't know which path to take now. I don't even know if the future is really better than the life I have left behind. Not many know that I have left my remote job and that I'm jobless right now with only a little amount of money + bills to pay because I honestly don't know how to explain why I did so. I don't know how to explain why my life is such a mess now.

I don't know where I'm heading anymore. I'm now stuck in this small apartment in Manila with no friends around and nowhere else to go. I don't know how long it will be like this.

I've sent 200+ job applications in the Philippines and Abroad hoping I could get that chance again to build my life and start anew -- but always end up being rejected.

Now I look back and think about how I seem to have it all figured out. How life was actually a little better when I was still in Landbank except for the fact that my mental health was crazy because of what I was going through at work and in my personal relationships. Will life be better had I not resigned?

Nothing makes sense now. I don't know which path to take, where to go, what to do next. I feel stuck and lost. I've lost that spark and motivation already. I know there's something broken inside.

Honestly, I wish I didn't move to Siargao. I thought it was the life for me. I thought it's what I needed, only to find out it's now and so now...I don't know where to go anymore or what to do next.

The sad thing is that I was always seen as someone who have it figured out. Someone who always know what to do with her life..not anymore lol.

Right now, I feel like a failure. And I am truly not proud. I am not proud of the life I am living right now. I know I am made for more. I refuse to settle but I don't know what to do now. I am stuck in this dark place. I wish I can still go back and change things. I wish I can still go back and choose wisely. I wish I know what lies ahead. I wish I know what to do next. I wish.

[burningspy]

My long hot day in three pictures.

I decided to take today and the rest of the week off of work.

This morning, I finally engaged in this project.

It took about 5 hours in a very hot garage to finish. Today was predicted to be the "coldest" day of the week, with a high temperature only reaching about 98! So, I figured this would be my best option to do it, instead of waiting for it to get back over 100 the rest of the week.

There are really only 2 things that I don't like about this install.

The small 4.3" screen above the stereo, which used to be the display for the factory unit, is now just blank and powerless. I also integrated an iDatalink system, which moves the functions that used to be on that screen, such as the back-up camera, to the display on the new stereo. I would love to be able to find some kind of adapter enabling me to split off that connector and have the signal from the factory sync system still display on that little screen as well as the new unit, but I have had no luck so far finding such a harness.

Even though this particular stereo does not included built-in navigation, it still requires a GPS antenna to be wired up and installed on the dash in order to set the clock! This unit has wireless Android Auto, so navigation is provided from Google maps through my phone. Basically, I was forced to cut and modify a dash panel in order to install an antenna; the sole purpose of which is make the screen display the correct time and date! It is entirely impossible to set that manually on this radio. I have gone down the internet rabbit hole already trying to find a way, with no success.

At least now, I finally have HD radio again. Which I enjoy, especially since the only real alternative rock station in Dallas moved to an HD2 frequency almost 10 years ago. Plus, I'm an "old" and tend to listen to AM news talk on my way to work in the mornings. Mostly, because of the detailed traffic updates every 10 minutes. Now, I can tune to that on an HD2 FM station as well while also looking at traffic delays on the screen!

It has been too long that I have been stuck with a factory stereo. I have always installed a custom unit in every car I've owned. I would have done this soon after I bought my car, but good stereos with all the features I want are typically expensive and it took me a little while to save up the money. Plus, the pandemic and resulting chip shortage, made the good stereos harder to find (and even more expensive).

[astaroth1357]

Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry

Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)

Warning: Angsty

Lucifer 

If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...

Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…

The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...

In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…

His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...

Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology… 

It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…

He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain… 

He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)

“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”

Mammon

Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…

He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!

The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.

To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!

Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…

If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...

He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.

"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"

Leviathan 

Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…

Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.

Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…

An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…

He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs! 

… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.

The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...

He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.

“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”

Satan

Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…

He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…

The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.

He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!

When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…

Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…

Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself… 

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...

"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."

Asmodeus 

Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…

MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.

Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.

When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!

Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…

He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.

That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...

He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…

He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.

“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”

Beelzebub 

He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest... 

Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…

It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either… 

He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…

It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…

The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...

Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?

“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”

Belphegor 

Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...

That's not going to last long.

Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.

So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...

It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…

And then he heard it.

First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…

Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…

To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.

The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…

Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.

"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"

[kinsey3furry300]

So how the heck do the Avengers pay for stuff, and how rich are they?

So, in the wake of “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” There’s a lot of debate about why Sam didn’t seem to get paid well for his work in the Avengers (at least in the MCU continuity), and this has got me thinking: we’ve got no evidence that the Avengers are, financially, anything but a hot mess. So lets break it down, Avenger by Avenger, using real-world pay scales for the ones who have jobs.

Tony: a billionaire, so clearly he’s a financial genius, right? Well….. his actions say otherwise. He’s shown to be wildly irresponsible with his money. He inherited a lot of wealth form his parents which was managed by the first Jarvis, Obadiah, and Pepper for him, he buys and then gives away not just woks of art, but entire collections by major 20th century artists on a whim, destroyed his own cars and home without concern, he tanks the value of his own company in the first Iron Man with a bad press interview, gets kicked of his own bord of directors, and ultimately, in Iron Man 2, gives control of his company to Pepper. He’s insanely rich, and insanely smart, but man, he’s not smart with his money. So all the cool stuff, his suits, the Avengers tower, the facility up-state: that’s all paid for by him, but Pepper is holding the purse-stings.  So, does he pay the others? We have no evidence for most of them… but we do with Spidey. Peter Parker is in the Stark Internship Program a euphemism to hide the fact he’s training and mentoring him as a super-hero, but I find the wording interesting: he refers to Spidey, his surrogate son and chosen heir, as an intern. I.E., Unpaid.  I’m guessing this is Howard’s influence over him, some sort of ‘make you own way in the world, son’ attitude, but  if he’s not paying Spidey, is he paying anyone else? He certainly pays for stuff super heroes suits and things, equipment, fuel, the base, but does he pay anyone a wage? No one ever mentions it. You think it would come up.

So, if he’s not paying them a wage, where do Avengers  (and thier allies) get their day-to-day money from, and are they rich? Using google and https://www.federalpay.org, lets find out.

Cap: Well, before Civil war, he’s a shield operative, and he presumably still holds his military rank: he’s a US Army captain, with (well) over 40 years service, so USD$88,142.40 per year, with $237.71  drill pay (pay per drill you have to do on weekends, on leave or outside of normal service) and $175.00 per month hazard pay (which I bet is interesting) on top of that. As a WW2 veteran, he’d be eligible for a war pension if he:

Was not discharged for dishonorable reasons; and,

Served 90 days of active military duty; and,

Served at least one day during wartime ("wartime" as determined by the VA); and,

Had  countable family income below a certain yearly limit; and,

Is  age 65 years or older; or

Regardless of age is permanently disabled, not due to wilful misconduct.

As he’s still receiving 90k per year, he’s ineligible for a pension as his countable yearly income is above the limit.  So if shield pays him in accordance with his rank and years of service, about $90, 600 per year incuding hazard pay.

After civil war, he’s a fugitive on the run, so presumably flat broke. I’d asume he gets his pension returened to him after the snap.

He’s also just gone from the 40’s to the present day, so 70 years of inflation probably makes buying things very confusing for him: everything would seem insanely expensive at first. He’d also not know what the correct prices are for anything invented after 45. You might get used to how much more expensive food and coffee is, but how much is a smart-phone worth? $200? $2000 $20000? Who knows? I bet the others have to facepalm a lot when he either refuses to pay for what he sees as clear price-gouging, and at the same time regularly pays insane amounts of money for goods and services because he doesn’t know better. He also has no known assets other than his pay: he rents an apartment making him one of the few American males in his age-group who isn’t a home-owner

Thor: Does Asgard even have currency? It’s depicted like a “Crystal spires and toga” type utopia with no poverty: even working class Asgardian’s like Scourge seem to be pretty well-off and want for nothing, so he’s from a post-scarcity society where actual magic is a thing. His “Another” coffee cup smashing and the fact he doesn’t have a computer of phone in Ragnarök might indicate that, no, he just doesn’t have, need or understand money. Splitting a bar tab with him must be a nightmare. His breakdown post snap indicates he’s got some cash, but not a huge amount, and is probably skiving of Valkyrie and the other Asgardians.

Banner: Okay, so a PhD could make you a lot of money from patents… in pharmacology or engineering. Theoretical physics? Not so good. And if Banner did have any patents, they’ve probably been seized under eminent domain by the US military.  At the start of The Hulk film, he’s working a entry-level factory job at a botteling plant in Brazil. The minimum wage in Brazil is 1069.62 Real per month, that’s 12,835.44 Real per year, or around $2437.79 US per year, before everything goes wrong for him! He then runs off to India, works for Tony for a bit and then gets shot into space. Spidey may actually make more in allowance than Banner does, and Banner is a gown ass man with bills to pay: I’d imagine he loses a lot in ripped clothing.

Natasha and Barton: Pre Civil-war, both are government spooks, so how well does that pay? The salaries of CIA Intelligence Analysts based in the US range from $25,838 to $685,701 , with a median salary of $125,340, so let’s assume that Shield pays in a similar range: $685,701 per year for Director Fury, around 125,000 for Natasha and Cliff, which explains Cliff’s nice, middle-class mid-western home. Post civil war, presumably not great: we know that Natasha spends a lot of her savings running and hiding all across the world, and Cliff takes a deal and presumably lives of his savings, pension and his wife’s income.

Rhodes: Full USAF colonel with over 10 years service? $105,562.80 per year, plus $293.23 drill pay per drill and $175 per month hazard pay, and because he’s team Stark and not Team Cap in Civil War, he’d not lose any of that. He presumably also gets an injury pay-out after his accident. After T’challa and Stark, he might be the best paid avenger.

Dr Strange: spends all his money he made as a surgeon on trying to cure his hands: spends literally his last dollars heading to Nepal to train. Wong even jokes with him about their lack of worldly money when asking for a tuna-melt. But, can use illusion to make people think he has money, and his home and clothes etc. come with the job, so in the same boat as Thor in that he has no money, but needs none AKA, he’s a bastard to try and split a restaurant bill with.

Wanda and Vision: No know source of income, just sort of live in Tony’s hose and eat his food, and on top of that Wanda goes on the run after civil war… yet they can stay in fancy hotels in Edinburgh, a relatively expensive city, and Vison apparently bought them a house to retire in, so one of them has some source of money. Maybe Tony gave Vision years of back-pay form when he was still Jarvis, or maybe the vison has a day job, which is, frankly, hilarious. Could you imagine him as a barista? I can, and it makes me very happy.

Scott Lang: I’d assumed he’d be super, super broke, but apparently the average pay for a private security consultant in the Bay area is $85,430 per year. Not bad. Pity he gets sucked into the quantum realm just as his business is taking off, so presumably, flat broke again.

Bucky: no known income, and I doubt Hydra paid him for being the Winter Soldier so he probably has no savings, but he should, technically, qualify for a military pension. As a single veteran, he’d be  eligible for federal tax-free pension of up to $1732 per month, or $20,784 tax free per year. Not much for someone who lives in NYC. He may also be eligible for medical benefits over the loss of his arm. Whether or not he got to see any of that money given how confused his life has been over the past 10 years is unclear, but on paper he’s eligible.

T’challa: He is, quite possibly, richer than Stark, and as an absolute monarch pays no tax and has access to his Nation’s vast wealth in vibanium. It’s good to be the king!

Captain Marvel: USAF captain, and a test pilot; the test pilot school only accepts applicants with a service length of less than 9 years 6 months (10 years six moths of helicopters) as they don’t want older applicants. With 8 years service, $79,538.40, plus drill pay and hazard.  However, no know (human) pay since 1990. Flat broke.

Guardians of the Galaxy: no data, but I’m assuming “Cowboy Bebop” levels of perpetual never-ending poverty given the way they choose to live. I’d also assume Rocket has taken all their cash into some sort of Ponzi scheme of his own creation, because just look at him, of course he has.

Spidey: he’s got about $10 of his aunts’ money at any given time, so he can buy lunch… which may in fact be more than Banner or Lang, and we know it’s more that Strange or Thor.

 So, here the big one: how rich or how broke is Sam?

Sam Wilson: annoyingly, we’re not directly told what rank Sam held in any MCU film. USAF pararescue “Maroon berets” are generally NCO’s (but there’ are officer-ranked pararescue) , and he’s seen working on his wings at one point, where as officers don’t generally work on or maintain airframes. He’s shown wearing a Nation Air guard grey while jogging at one point to confuse the matter further. The general consensus on redit is he’s a former USAF tech sergeant (E-6). But how long was he in the air force? With six years service (the minimum sensible time he could have served to work in pararescue based on his age), that would be $41,464.80 per year, plus drill pay and hazard. As Anthony Mackie, the actor that plays him, was 36 as of Civil War, and assuming the character is the same age, and assuming he retired from the air force that year, and he joined the USAF at 17, the youngest you can join, he’d have served 19 years, giving him a pay of $51,566.40, the maximum pay you can get at this rank before promotion to Master Sergent,  but meaning he left just before he’d qualify for the 50% final salary pension you’d qualify for after 20 years. Which seems weird. So let’s assume the character is one year older than the actor that plays him and served 20 years (ages 17-37), that means Sam has a military pension of $25,783.20 per year (20,784 of it tax-free), plus any injury benefits. He councils other veterans, but doesn’t get paid for that. He also chooses Team Cap in Civil War, so would become a wanted criminal, and so lose his income between 2016 and 2018, and then gets snapped and has no income for 5 years, which would destroy his credit rating. Like the rest of Team Cap, he presumably gets his post snap pardon, and goes to work for the US government at his former pay and rank. However, given how Captain John Walker treats him as an equal, it’s possible he’s been promoted to a captain when the  hired back, giving him a pay of between $54,176.40 to $88,142.40 (with 20 years experience, depending on if they take into account his prior service or not, and how much prior service he has), but either way, he’s just starting this as a new job after being legally dead for 5 years: no savings, and no credit.

Commercial fishing vessels cost about 10% of their total value per year in maintenance alone. I can’t identify what sort of boat the Wilson’s have, but some quick googling indicates that the cheapest  15m long wooden in-shore shrimp trawler costs around $140,000, so that’s $14,000 per year in maintenance costs alone, minimum. And that’s a lower estimate, assuming the rest of the business is sound, which we know it isn’t.

So, in concussion, yes, Sam is in some serious financial trouble until he can re-build his savings and credit, but the scary bit is he’s not alone in that: he’s probably better off than Lang, Banner, Danvers, Strange, Thor, Bucky, Wanda and Parker. Only Clint (if he gets a full pardon and gets his full pension), Rhodes, Stark and T’challa aren’t in some sort of potential financial problems. That asshole bank teller was right: despite the fact it seems to pay well on paper, with a few exceptions, the Avengers financials are probibaly a mess. EDIT: Rocket is running the Ponzi scheme, if that��s not clear from context. The others know they have money somewhere, but not where it’s gone. And It’s been pointed out to me that as he’s technically a POW while he’s the Winter Soldier, Bucky is owed over 70 years back-pay, equal to over 3 million dollars, details in the notes.

[comfortwriting]

A Summer Secret Final Part - F.W

Fred Weasley x Fem Reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Masterlist, Writing Prompt Masterlist, Requesting Rules

A/N: First of all, I want to say THANK YOU  for the love and excitement you have shown this mini-series - I have LOVED every single moment writing it!

Secondly, I would like to apologise for my absence, my health has been a struggle and because the NHS is already stressed out here in the UK, I'm struggling to pay for the private health care I desperately need; but I am back!

Prompt 47: "I love you, why can’t you just accept it?” You cried.

Warnings: Swearing, 18+, mention of eating and food, mention of alcohol.

Swallowing down the Christmas turkey coated in gravy, you refused to look up from your plate, unless a member of the family - when anyone other than Fred - started to tell a story, express thanks, or comment on the Christmas dinner.

You weren't in the mood to eat, you felt sick, you didn't even want to be sat here knowing that Fred couldn't be with you; looking back, you wished you ripped up his letter and avoided the joke shop altogether.

"I've got to say, Y/N," Percy called out, catching your attention "your hard work at the ministry isn't going unnoticed!"

Looking up bravely from your plate, you smiled at Percy, quickly taking a sip from your cup of mulled wine - everyone's eyes - especially Fred's - glued on you.

"Thank you," you smiled, setting down your cup "I'm starting to get the hang of it, really."

Percy smiled, "I'm happy to hear that, it's a pleasure working with you."

Fred shot Percy a look, almost as if he was telling him to back off and Molly didn't let it go unnoticed, it added to her list of worries after seeing you and her son argue outside, your tears, him letting you storm off; what the hell is going on?

Sitting in the large front room, you, Gideon, and Fabian sat together, opening your presents with everyone else. Tearing the shiny red wrapping paper, your eyes widened at the burnt amber jumper with your large initial in the middle.

"It's about time you got one!" Gideon smiled.

Fabian nodded "Looks like Grandma Weasley approves of you!"

You searched the front room from Molly but you couldn't find her sitting next to her husband, laughing with her sons, or hugging her daughter inlaws.

"How could you be so bloody stupid!" Molly hissed under her breath.

Fred opened his mouth to speak, but Molly shut him down.

"She's eighteen! Same age as your nephews! What were you thinking?!"

Fred's guilt started to boil inside of him, his heart weeping - pleading for understanding and forgiveness - his head screaming at him and telling him off.

"I was thinking that I might be in love with her," Fred answered quietly, the memories you shared flooding back to him.

Molly swallowed hard "And are you in love with her?"

Fred took your hand in his, the other resting on your waist, your eyes swimming in each other’s, your steps slow and gentle mirroring his.

Climbing into bed with Fred, he pulled you into his warm, strong arms, making you feel safe and protected.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said, falling asleep, pecking a small kiss on your head.

“Goodnight, Freddie,” you replied, closing your eyes, engulfing in his warmth.

"Yeah, I am." Fred answered, "But she isn't in love with me, and I ended it before it could get serious." He lied.

Fred walked out of the kitchen, his mother following behind, the two of them finally joining you all by the fire, wrapping paper covering the carpet.

Molly's eyes widened and sparkled at the sight of you in the jumper, she pulled you into a warm, motherly embrace.

"I'm so glad you like it, dear."

"I love it, Molly." You smiled, your eyes locking with Fred's.

Now boxing day, everyone was tired out and hungover, sleeping in until the leftovers from Christmas dinner brought them to the kitchen.

You woke up early, well, you had been awake all night, hurting, and you wanted some time alone to enjoy a cup of coffee to wake you up.

"Y/N!" Molly chirped, "you're up early!" she smiled.

Molly walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup, sitting down at the table.

"Yeah," you laughed lightly "I haven't really slept."

Molly stayed quiet for a moment, a concerned look splashed across her face, her eyes drowning in the coffee.

"What happened between you and Freddie?" she asked, finally looking at you "You've not been the same."

You sighed, brushing your hair from your face and started to explain.

Molly learnt that it was much more than a simple rejection, the forbidden romance had been going on for a long time, her son pulling you close and then pushing you away when you needed him most.

"I'm in love with him," you cried "and I want to be with him-"

Before you could continue, Molly's face dropped, her mouth opened and her eyes fixed upon someone standing behind you.

Turning around in your seat, Fred stood tall, staring at you, shaking his head before storming out of the house.

"I'm sorry-" you left the table and followed him.

Now was your chance.

"I can't believe you!" Fred shouted angrily, "Making me out to be the villain!

You scoffed, catching up to him, "I'm not! I told the truth, Freddie!"

"To my own mum!"

"She asked me what happened!"

"And you couldn't lie about it?!"

"I love you, why can’t you just accept it?” You cried, standing still, choking on your tears.

Fred stopped in his tracks, finally turning to face you, his face hard like stone.

"Because it's wrong!" He shouted again, "You know it is!"

"What makes it wrong?" you challenged him "I'm an adult now, it isn't against the law!"

Fred shook his head, looking frustrated and tired, he too had been up all night, hurting.

"But it's still wrong!" Fred shot you down "you are still too young!"

"Fred-"

"We can break up and it won't be too late for you to start over, I don't want you to waste the best years of your life with me!" His voice now cracking.

You shook your head "You're not even considering the flip side! We could be happy together, please Fred, take a chance on me!"

Fred didn't say anything, his eyes searching yours for a life where you would be happy without him - then remembering that in another life you would be married to Draco's son, against your will; unhappy and lost.

"And if these are the best years of my life, please let me waste them with you." You croaked.

Fred slowly inches closer towards you, his stone face crumbling away, his eyes glassy and his face pale.

"What if I don't want you to waste it on me?" Fred asks softly, his hand now resting against your tear-stained face.

"It doesn't matter," you replied, "if I can't love you from up close, I'll be loving you from afar, wasting these years on you anyway."

Fred shook his head, a smile creeping upon his face.

"Do you want to waste my time, Freddie?"

Fred nods his head, "I do, Y/N," and his soft lips slowly and gently brush upon yours.

Angelina freaked at the sight of you both kissing through the window.

"George, what the bloody hell-"

George shushed his wife, a huge smile forming on his face - Molly smiling too.

"That's why it never happened," George muttered "She was the one had been waiting for all along."

taglist: @alwaysnforeverfangirl @horrorxweasley @xmalfoyweasleyx@onlyfreds @lucymfer @holyheadharpies99 @uniquebelievercrown @becks7401 @opalsheart @amwitherspoon @whatsup-200@avatarkanemi @manuosorioh @lina1945 @freddiemylovelg@reeophidian @inglourious-imagines @pottahishotasf @themoonis-beautiful-tonight @enya-2004 

[ptrckjcne]

hihi ! congrats on 200 you deserve it and sm more <3

for the prompt: ❛ for some reason, i’m attracted to you. ❜ with hotchniss maybe? witty banter / idiots in love yanno! i can’t wait to read whatever you come up with <3

- lilacprentiss

hiii neveah! 🥰

thank you, and thank you so much for the request!! i love these idiots, and this prompt is so sweet for them!! i hope you enjoy this! 💞

masterlist to the 200 celebration!

There was something very enchanting about him. She couldn’t quite point it out to herself, or anything else who might ask, but she felt herself drawn to him. Maybe it had something to do with the way he knew her and had stuck with her through thick and thin while he worked for her mother, or the way he had called the Vatican for her during a case. Maybe it was the way he read her like an open book, even on the days she tried to close herself off a little extra, calling her into his office to let her cool off on his couch, or the way he always knew what to do on the days when her migraine hit a little extra. 

Maybe it had to do something about the way he had let her tend to his wounds after the explosion in New York, or the way he refused to leave her side after the case in Colorado. The first time she had truly wrapped her head around these feelings, was a small case, in a small town somewhere. He had knocked on the door to her hotel room, seeking out the comfort he had provided for her in so many situations before. They had shared a drink, paying it out of their own pockets not to raise any eyebrows back at Quantico, before calling it a night. 

She had lingered by the door as it shut in front of her, a shaky breath sneaking its way past her lips. Little did she know he did the same on the other side, jaw set tensely as he loosened his tie, the feeling of being suffocated by his own feelings slowly easing from his body. It was left at that, the weight of the world on their shoulders as they returned to a small-town precinct the next morning, and so many days after that. 

When he didn’t show up for work, she knew something was wrong. She had seen him get to work with a fever and cough so bad she would have considered a trip to the ER if it had been any of the other team members. She made the way to his apartment, the steps familiar; she had been there before, she had spent the night with him, getting a drink, sitting with him into the long hours of the night following his divorce – just to let him know he had someone to rely on, someone he could trust, someone to talk to. From the outside, nothing seemed off; however, as she didn’t get a response to the knock on the door, and heard the phone ring with no one responding, it all clicked – something had happened.

She stayed with him at the hospital, sitting in the uncomfortable chair by his bedside, only moving when she shifted her position, keeping the blood flow to her feet. She first left the room when his ex-wife and son arrived, mumbling teary goodbyes before being whisked off into witness protection.

“Emily.” 

Derek’s sharp way of saying her name had her focus shifted, her gaze landing on him as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve been trying to speak with you for about ten minutes, all without success.” He paused, pulling her out of the way as a nurse rushed past in a hurry – both of them letting out a relieved breath when the nurse didn’t step into his room. “We, as a team, agree that someone should stay with him – and the first person he asked for when Haley left, was you. Would you be okay with looking out for him?”

Emily didn’t even hesitate; she nodded, receiving a small smile from Derek, who proceeded to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze, before she returned to Aaron’s room. He was knocked out by the time she sank into the chair again, the painkillers and the energy used on being awake to say hi and goodbye to Jack having taken its toll on him. 

“Tesoro, you should get some sleep.” David spoke in a gentle tone from the doorway to the room. “He’s been stabbed nine times, he won’t get up and abandon ship even if you head home to get a change of clothes and a nap.” The Italian continued, a concerned look on his face as Emily turned to look at him. “I can sit with him–,”

“It’s okay. Thank you, though.” Emily smiled weakly, turning back to look at Aaron. 

Their next weeks were spent like that, dancing around one another. She made sure he took his pain medication, helped him redress his wounds, and kept a close eye on the stitching, making sure everything stayed the way it should. She watched him spiral, locking himself in his office to turn the Foyet–case inside out, the unit having been handed over to Derek. She worried about him; the whole team worried about him, yet no one had the guts to stand up to him. 

He didn’t even lift his gaze when she knocked on the door to his office, a low, barely audible hum escaping him as his eyes continued to scan the scattered papers on his desk. However, he noticed how she hesitated to fully enter his office, a sigh escaping his lips. “Just come in, Prentiss. You’re not disturbing anything, I promise.” She could see how his gaze flickered, though he didn’t lift his head to look at her.

“Hotch, I need to speak with you.” Emily spoke up, voice shakier than she had imagined – and hoped for – as she closed the door. The blinds were already partially closed, not that any of the agents in the bullpen would have any reason to spy on them. “It’s about – well, it’s about everything, in a way.”

Aaron leaned back in his chair, noticing how she was avoiding his gaze. “Emily.” His voice was low, his head slightly tilted as he looked at her, something she nodded as she turned her gaze to him, finally meeting his eye. “You’ve been living on top of me for weeks. I doubt anything you have to say will surprise me.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have been sitting here in the shape you’re in today if I hadn’t stayed with you.” Emily scoffed, rolling her eyes as she pulled out the chair opposite from him, sinking down onto the leather cushion. “I have never seen a kitchen that’s been emptier of basic things. Did you even eat at home before … you know?” She raised an eyebrow, at once feeling a lot more comfortable with the situation than she had when she stepped into the office. Aaron simply shrugged in return, noticing how her gaze flickered down to the papers. “You’re not letting this one go, are you?”

“I could have caught him.” Aaron grumbled, lifting a hand to rub his temple, a defeated sigh escaping his lips. “I had him in my living room, and I could have caught him. Could have arrested him, thrown him behind bars.”

“You’ll get the chance.” Emily reassured him, the words passing her lips before she had the chance to think about them. Leaning forward, she picked some of the papers out of his hands, placing them out of his reach, before turning back to him. “How are you planning on getting over this?” She asked, watching as a confused look spread on his face. “Are you getting a dog? A tramp-stamp? Will you buy an apartment in Thailand, and vacation there as much as you can? Oh, will you do a Gideon, and get yourself a cabin in the middle of the woods and turn to birds for the rest of your life?”

“No, no, no, and no.” Aaron rolled his eyes, though chuckled a little. “I might celebrate by opening the very expensive bottle of whisky that Dave got me when I first joined the BAU, though.”

“You still haven’t opened it?” Emily chuckled, gaze following him as he got up from his chair, movements still a bit stiff from his weeks with stitches. Aaron looked like he had to think about which cupboard to open, before sliding an unopened bottle out of the cupboard. “Oh, you really haven’t opened it.”

“No.” Aaron placed the bottle on the desktop, sinking back into his chair. “I wanted to get it with a real victory, you know? So far, the victories I’ve had … I haven’t really had any.”

“Of course you have.” Emily furrowed her brows as she looked at him, noticing the insecurity in his gaze as he looked at her. “You’ve had plenty of victories; you wouldn’t be Unit Chief if you hadn’t experienced victories in your career.” She paused, shifting her position in the chair a little, glancing down at the bottle. “It’s okay to be proud of yourself. We’re all proud of you here.” She continued, noticing how his jaw tensed. “I’m proud of you, Aaron.”

He looked thoughtful, as if he needed to process the words for several business days before he could respond to them. “Emily, can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

Aaron cleared his throat, leaning forward, his elbows on the desk as he sighed. “I want you to know that I’m not good with these kinds of things, at all, but – for some reason – I find myself very attracted to you.” He paused, lifting his gaze to notice the surprised look on Emily’s face, though he struggled to let himself comprehend whether it was in a positive way. “I know you have no reason to even think of me like that; I don’t think I’ve ever given you a reason to–,”

“Aaron, it’s okay.” Emily chuckled, reaching across his desk, placing her palm on his forearm. “I’ve been wanting to say the very same thing to you for a very long time.” She gave his arm a gentle squeeze, the fabric of his shirt warm against her skin. “How about, when all of this–,” she motioned to the chaos that was the papers regarding the Foyet–case on Aaron’s desk. “–is done, we go out for a date?”

He smiled; the kind of shy smile that Emily later would learn that she was the only one who could coax onto his face. “Yeah, I’d–,” he paused, clearing his throat a little. “I’d like that.”