#I said more it’s See all my bad HAHAHHA

[miserye]

I hate looking through my fic lists because IT MAKES ME WANNA READ THEM ALL AGAIN

[im-notbean]

wsg bestie r reqs open cuz if they are

can I ask (willing to beg) for aizawa x male reader where the reader's a fellow teacher/hero and he hobo-looking-save his ass and he starts feeling them palpitations

if they rn't open, that's why I'm anon HAHAHHA (also can I be known as orange anon that sounds fun)

Hi orange anon! Requests are open! (also your my first request lol)

Aizawa x Male!Pro Hero!Subsitute Teacher!Reader

Also I'm assuming that reader also is somewhat Aizawa, you'll see the resemblance soon, sorry if I messed it up a bit or it's not to your liking-

(╯﹏╰)

Aizawa: Purple

Reader: Red

Aizawa leaped across the two buildings, the villain he was chasing was fast. Must have some endurance quirk Aizawa thought, then came you. You cut the villain off so fast and was on-top of the villain so fast that Aizawa couldn't keep track of you. He walked up to you slowly, he felt like he had seen you somewhere before. Question was, where? Where did he see you last?

"You gonna just stare their or ya' gonna help me." "Uh- Shit yeah I'll-"

Aizawa found himself stumbling to the side. Making a groan of annoyance he looked to his side. A knife, presumably a dager was lodged into his side, and did I mention he was losing blood. And fast. When did he get that, not important right now, all Aizawa knew was that he was loosing blood and fast. He felt his head spin, you had detained the villain earlier so you walked over to Aizawa.

"Got hit eh?" "No shit-" "Don't move so much. It'll make it worse." "Got it...what are you doing exactly..?" "Trying to make sure you don't die of blood loss."

You pulled off your shirt and tied it around Aizawa's side, right above the wound. You made sure it was tight but not tight enough that he couldn't breathe. You picked Aizawa up from the ground and walked back to the villain who you threw over your shoulder. You started heading to the police station, once you were their you looked at the guard who took the unconscious villain off you arm. You could tell the guard was staring at you, I mean, she wasn't that bad looking. But you knew she probably wanted to use you for money, before she could come back you left for the hospital. Despite all of Aizawa's protesting.

"Seriously. I'm fine" "No. Your. Not, you could bleed out, your wound could be infected, you could make the wound larger which becomes more of a pain to deal with, and you could pass out. All of which can kill you." "Well none-" "I don't give two shits if you'd be extra careful, it's a risk I'm not willing to take." "..."

You felt the sweat dripping down your bare back and some blood from Aizawa's side as you ran down the street towards the hospital. You entered the hospital with Aizawa in your arms and you told them the situation. You placed Aizawa in one of the emergency room beds. You sat next to him and sighed, running a hand through your slightly bloody hair.

That's when Aizawa realized the situation he was in. One you basically saved his ass. Two you were shirtless. And three nobody should be as hot as you were. Aizawa face was three shades of bright red and he slumped into your shoulder, party out of embarrassment and partly out of exhaustion. You let out a soft laugh that left Aizawa even more embarrassed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☆Extra☆

☆At UA High, The Next Day ☆

"Hello students."

Class 1-A was surprised to see instead of their normal sleep deprived teacher with his usual cup of coffee that was pitch black (which always smelled sweet for some reason). A different male with H/L H/C hair who obviously did not really want to be their currently, was leaning on the black board with the words "Y/N L/N" in big bolled letters to the right of his body. All the students took their seats quietly, except Mineta. Who took one look at your upper chest region and said to himself "That is one fine woman" you took one glance at him and was blushing profusely. You narrowed your E/C hues at the boy and geustered to the class, more specifically the empty seat you pre-assumed was his. You looked at the clock and made a mental note of his lateness. As Mineta walked in he seemed to be in a daze, you slamed your fist down on the desk and that seemed to snap him out of his daze.

"You're 3 minutes late Mineta. I expected better from a hero corse student." "Huh?!!" "Awe poor little boy is confused, take your seat whatever you were thinking about isn't important currently." "Yes ma'am." "THAT'S A MAN MINETA..." The rest of 1-A said in unison. "Oh shi-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all so so SO much for reading ♡

[aphroditesbaby1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 12

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; Enjoy The Silence (Depeche Mode) - Words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in- into my little world. Painful to me, pierce right through me, can't you understand? All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, Is here in my arms. Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm…

♡ Summary: Winnie x Carmy have deep talks, Carmy ends up running away & having a panic attack, Syd being the pookie pie she is brings Winnie to therapy, they share big news & Syd is anxious (but, what's new there?)

♡ W/C: 9,600

♡ Posted Date: 03/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hey everyone! No smut in this chapter, but lots of angst!! We finally get to see Syd bc I was talkin to a Tumblr OOMF & I just HAD to put in some Syd this week, & she slipped right in there perfectly! We will be back with some super sweet fluff next week, I need to keep you on your toes - this is about Carmen the most anxious person on earth after all hahahha

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smoking, Swearing, Angst, Talk of suicide, Panic attacks, Bad coping skills *not edited :)*

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

After a shower that surprisingly didn’t end in another round, and a heavy make out when he came out of the bathroom to see me clad in nothing but his white shirt and a pair of panties, we had gotten comfortable in bed again, my fairy lights back on. 

We were laid facing eachother, fingers intertwined, sharing sweet pillow talk about what we did earlier in the night. It felt so good to talk to him like this, and truth be told I felt so lucky that he was being so open about how he felt about it all. 

“Y’know when-“ I giggled “when I was like- I couldn’t say anything other then yes?” I asked and he snorted a laugh, squeezing my hand softly. 

“Yes why?” He gently rubs my hip with his free hand, pushing my shirt up so his palm was flat against my skin. 

“Cause- well I couldn’t even wrap my head around it, I just knew that you were doing exactly what I wanted, but more so you were saying what I wanted. Like- Bear. I am so amazed with you and your ability to like- learn so fast. You’re like actually the best lay I’ve ever ever had. For real, honest to god.” I said, gently rubbing my thumb over his now very warm and pink cheek. 

He swallowed thickly, thinking for a moment, eyes fluttering shut under my gentle touch. “Can I tell y’somethin, baby?” he asked quietly. I leaned forward, resting my forehead on his, my hand trailing up his face and fingers getting lost in his damp curls. 

“Anything, Carmy.” I whispered, gently nuzzling our noses sweetly “I want you to tell me everything baby” I whispered and he leaned forward, kissing me gently. When he pulled his lips away, his forehead still on mine. My eyes flutter open to meet his blue ones. He takes a deep, shaky breath. 

“I-I’ve never felt like this..and I’m really fuckin’ scared” he bit his lip, squeezing my hip gently. I cupped his jaw, planting a lingering gentle kiss on his forehead before resting my own against him again. 

“Do you remember, last week, when you told me you wanted me to show you how it feels?” I whisper and I could have sworn he stopped breathing for a moment. 

“N-no- no…how…it’s too soon” he pulls away a bit and I let him do so, squeezing his hand affirmingly. 

“How fast do you hate someone?” I asked after he sat silent for a moment, and the look behind his eyes was clear that he was far off somewhere else, so I had to say something to get him back. 

“What?” He asks, attention back to me. “Why does that matter?” He begins untangling our fingers and I rest my other hand over his to stop him. 

“Because. There is such a thin line between love and hate, Carm. I can tell you hate with a deep, guttural, soul-splitting passion. When you hate something, you hate it…and when you love something” I said and he gently curled his fingers around mine again, rubbing his thumb in strokes along the back of my hand. 

“How are you like that” he whispers, pulling me to his chest and nuzzling his face in my neck, his lips pressed to my skin and warm puffs of breath tickling the fleshy spot between my shoulder and my neck. 

I smiled, my hand absentmindedly coming up and lacing my fingers through his curls, scratching his scalp gently in the places I’d come to know he liked. “Like what, Bear?” I whisper, just as soft. It felt like we were the only people in the world. Sleep wasn’t needed in our little haven, I felt like I couldn’t miss a single moment of him. 

“That.” He breathes into my skin, peppering sweet, warm kisses along my skin. “You always fuckin’…just…calm me down. It’s so fuckin’ terrifying” he mutters, a small smile comes to my lips and I kiss his temple sweetly. 

“You calm me down too, but you also make my heart race so much even when I think about you, I worry for myself sometimes…like I’m havin’ a heart attack. Like my heart literally skips. And I didn’t understand what people meant until I met you” I said with a small giggle and he snorts a laugh into my skin. 

“I can’t think about you when I’m not with you- well…that’s a lie…I can’t think about how I feel about you when I’m not with you” he said softly, his thumb gently rubbing over the scar on my hip. 

“Why?” I asked quietly, gently dragging my fingers through his hair in slow, backwards strokes. 

“Cus’ I’ll give myself a fuckin panic episode or whatever it’s called if I think about it for too long.” He mumbled into my neck and I swallowed thickly. 

“Cause…you like me, right?” I asked and he lets out a chuckle. 

“Sooooo far past like, but sure. I don’t even know what to call it, but I more then like you. But- I…I also hate feeling like this..cus’…cus’ I feel- I feel like I’m gonna fuck everything up. Like…what if I’m so focused on us that I fuck up the restaurant? Or- or what if I lose my touch. Or fuckin’ I dunno. Somethin’ in me just like-“ he sighs. “I need a fuckin’ cigarette.” He sits up, back facing me, leaving me cold on my side and I pout. 

“Alone?” I ask quietly, wanting to reach out for him. 

“No- no baby come w’me cmon. Put on some pants though yeah? It’s freezin’ “ he said, grabbing his sweatpants and putting them on as well as his usual plaid brown jacket. 

I got up, opening my dresser and pulling out some pink fuzzy hello kitty pajama bottoms, tugging them on before putting on my fuzzy pink bear socks along with my Ugg slippers and grabbing my well loved Winnie the Pooh zip up, putting it over his tshirt and putting up the hood. “We can go on the balcony” I said softly, going over and unlocking the door. 

He slipped his sneakers on, following me out and sitting down on one of the chairs. “C’mere” he pats his lap and I come over, gently sitting and wrapping my arms around him once he got his cigarettes out and grabbing his lighter from his pocket. Once he popped it between his lips, I lit it for him, gently playing with the curls at the base of his neck and watching as he took a drag. 

“I just feel…like- and I-i know what you’ll say- cause you’ve told me already like a hundred times- but…I feel like, I’m finally sacrificing a little of myself for myself and…I feel like I don’t deserve to? Like…I-i-im betraying myself? and-“ I cup his cheek, stopping his rambling. 

“Why is it betrayal, baby? What about letting yourself feel for once is a betrayal?” I asked and he took another long drag, mulling the question over. 

“Cause’ that part of me that tells me it’s betrayal T’myself t’be happy is the same part of myself that says people always leave and it’s always right. And it tells me…like- like- everyone is gonna be so mad at me when I fuck up with you and then lose you and I also have been like- not on top of my shit with the restaurant. So like I’m- I’m fuckin over Nat, and Richie, and Marcus, and Tina, and Syd. I’m fuckin’ em, Win. For me to be happy. Leavin’ em with all this bull that I’m used to handling so I can run off and play boyfriend until you fuckin’ realize that-“

“Hey, hey, hey” I said softly, cutting his spiral before it could get too deep. “Let’s unpack this baby, so you…you feel like, if you were to fall in love- not even with me. Let’s take me out of this equation. So you think that if you were to have a lover, like a real, intimate, partnership, like- building your life with someone. And that because as a human you have to have a work-life balance, that if your life cuts in to your work, just like your work is expected to cut in to your life once in a while- you believe that everyone in your life, Your big sister, your closest friends, and Syd? Syd. The girl who every person in her life she just wants them to be happy? Like it actually brings her to tears. She fuckin sat with me and Sadie for eleven hours on a FaceTime call, helping us get our Taylor tickets when she didn’t even want to go. And she cried with us when we finally got them. Syd loves you, Carm. As a friend. And knowing Syd, how she loves her friends? Its pure. So if you can’t believe any of the other people you mentioned would be anything short of happy if you were to have an actual life outside of work, it would be Syd. Also- you” I poke his cheek, thankfully earning a tiny upturn of his lips with the action. 

“You, sir” I continue “are a control freak. Yes, it’s hot a lot of the time. But then the other 10-15% of the time…all it does is fuck everything up Carmy. When you try to fuckin’ control every situation with an iron fist something is bound to go wrong. Syd is so smart. She was smart before you got her, and she’s even smarter because you’re teaching her, Carm. You said it yourself- she’s your right hand. Is Syd not your right hand, lovey?” I asked him softly, gently massaging his tense shoulders. 

Blew a trail of smoke away from me, being sure not to let any get directly in my face, before clearing his throat. “Ye’. She is” he muttered, slightly relaxing under my touch. 

“S’what does that mean, baby? D’you trust yourself? Do you trust that you’ve taught Syd, and Richie, and Fak, and Natalie, and Tina how you want your restaurant to be run? What if somethin’ happened to you tomorrow god forbid- d’you think The Bear would crash and burn?” I asked and he shook his head lightly in response, pushing his cigarette out in the ash tray. 

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest. “No- no…that’s actually..” he sighs, looking ahead at the cityscape. “I think about that- like…a lot…well- more before I met you I guess…but- t’day” he swallowed thickly and I kept my gaze locked on his side profile. 

“T’day I thought about it again…and y’re right. If I was removed…everything would probably run smoother. Because like you said. I’m an efficient son of a bitch because of how tightly I control shit, but sometimes I do too much and- a lot I think like…what if I’m holding The Bear back.” He muttered and I gently stroked his cheek with my thumb, both of us going quiet. I gnawed on the inside of my lip nervously, contemplating how he’d react- but knowing how he feels about himself…I had to allow him to see his situation from the outside. 

“D’you wanna know something I’ve been thinkin’ about…but…I didn’t wanna tell you cus’ I’ve been scared it’ll get you worked up for the wrong reasons?” I ask just above a whisper and his gaze finally meets mine again. 

“Tell me” he said, “I promise- I don’t think I could ever stay mad at you, honey” he said leaning in and kissing my cheekbone lightly. 

I took a deep, regulating breath. “When Sugar drove me home…I dunno I just had this- I was…I was just curious. And I asked her, I was like oh- who started to call him Bear, and- she told me that it was Mikey…” I watch his jaw tighten slightly and I swallow thickly, finding the confidence to continue. “And she- she told me…that um..you- you went to New York. Because you and Mikey kinda…grew apart. But that when you were young you both- you…The Bear was gonna be yours together.” I manage to get out and he closes his eyes taking a deep shakey breath. 

“What does this have to do with what I said, Winnie.” He said evenly, but his breath trembling. 

“I…I think-“ I play with my zipper nervously. “I think Mikey felt the same way… I think- he…he felt like you’d be better off because of the way he did things a-“ my voice breaks, tears coming to my eyes. “and he saw you Carmen…he saw you. Sugar told me she- she said…she said he was so proud, but he- he wouldn’t say it. And- and I think…I think he-he was scared. I think-“ he cuts me off. 

“S’what? Y’think he fuckin’ killed himself because he thought I was better than him?! When he wouldn’t even fuckin’ let me work at Mom and Dad’s piece a’ shit - before I fuckin’ went off to prove myself to him.” He said, voice sharper than I’d ever heard him speak towards me before, but still cracking towards the end. 

“Carmy…” I whispered, my throat feeling tight at the sudden energy shift. 

“I think he always saw the greatness in you, but like you he didn’t think he deserved to be apart of the success he knew someone he loved was destined for. He saw you. Carmy. He fucking loved you so fucking much. The way-“ I took a trembling breath, tears staining my cheeks. “The way he loved you was pure Carmen. You said you- you haven’t felt it but it’s just- it’s been around you this entire time baby. Sugar told me how you two were, she gushed over the trouble you’d get into together and how he’d always walk you to school. Just how fucking kind he was and all the ways you take after him.” I wiped away the tears that were pooling in his eyes. 

“I-“ he choked on a sob. “I have to go on a walk- p-please. Alone.” He took in a shaking breath, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut, tears pooling down his cheeks. “I h-have to think” he sniffled. 

I wipe his tear-stained cheeks. “Just be safe ok?” I whispered, kissing his temple gently before getting up off his lap.  

He nodded, grabbing his cigarettes and going back in to put a shirt on. I sat down in the chair, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my cheek on my knee, looking out at the city scape, my mind reeling with thoughts. The main one that kept bouncing from corner to corner or my mind like a god damn dvd video logo. 

You sunk too deep, too soon. He’s not coming back.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

I pulled the door behind me slightly harder than I meant to, the slam echoing throughout the hallway. I dug my cigarettes out of my pocket, the second I got into the stairwell lighting it with shaking hands. 

Really, Bear. If you ever feel it's getting too much - call, okay?

Sugars words bounced around my head as I pounded down the stairs, feeling like I couldn't breathe. Sure. The thick hot smoke I was inhaling didnt help the matter, but- fuck - the only thing that could allow me to speak fuckin normally in this state, was if I had a cigarette to pull on. 

I shove open the door so hard that it slams against the brick, causing an elderly woman and her white fluffy dog to jump. “Ooh!” she exclaims, putting her hand over her heart at the sudden noise. 

“S’rry Ma’am” I muttered, pulling my hood over my head as I walked by, looking at my feet as I fished my phone out while I took a drag of my now lit cigarette. With my free hand, I popped the cigarette out of my mouth and let out a shaky exhale as I unlocked my phone with shaking fingers.

Where the fuck am I going right now? 

I click the phone icon, clicking Sugars number and putting the phone to my ear as I listen to the ring and my heavy footsteps, inhaling another heavy drag. Surprisingly, it was only 2 rings before she answered. 

“God damn it Bear, y’re lucky I shut my ringer off before Livy woke up- Whats goin’ on?” she whisper-shouts into the phone. I stopped, leaning against the chainlink fence cutting off the empty lot a  block down from Winnies apartment. I wanted to crumple and sob at the sound of her voice.

“N-Nat?” I stutter in to the phone, my voice shaky, feeling just like I sounded as a fuckin’ kid, knocking at her door after Mom yelled at me for knocking her drink over. 

“Carmy-” she said, voice much softer then before and I heard her front door click open, car keys jingling. “Bear, where are you - let me help you, Bear, please, tell me- where are you?” she pleads.

I took a deep shuddering breath, crouching down against the fence with my head in my hands, the only thing stopping my hand from shaking being pressing the phone to my ear.

“Y’remember - d’you-” I took the phone away from my ear, slapping my palm against my forehead roughly in frustration. I cant fuckin’ speak right now. Fuck. And it feels like I’m gonna throw up. 

“Bear” I heard her say through the phone as I frustratedly rubbed my hand over my face, pushing tears away angrily to try and ground myself.

How the fuck did Winnie make me feel like this? What the fuck? Why am I not mad at her for making me feel like this?

“Nat- Nat…Nat” I try catching my breath, “Nat, Im fuckin’ im cashin’ in- w-when you told me t’call you if im- if… “ I look up briefly, rubbing my hand over my mouth to soothe back a sob, my eyes meeting the ‘For Rent’ sign of the empty lot I was kneeled infront of pathetically. 

“Uh-I’m-I’m a-at- tw-” I pull the phone away and cough, my lungs burning. The mix of crying uncontrollably, thick mucus, and cigarettes, proving once again to be deadly- if not at least extremely irritating to my throat when I’m like this.

“Twenty-five north Wells, near Winnies” I breathe out, slumping down into a heap on the sidewalk, curling into myself. 

If someone I know walks by, I’m actually going to end it, fucking tonight.

“Stay, stay right there, I’m coming Bear” I heard her car door slam shut, before the engine roared to life.

 “Thanks” I mumble in to the phone and hung up, dropping my phone in my chest pocket and hugging my knees.

I look like a fuckin child, pathetic and rediculous.

But my swirling, self deprecating thoughts didn’t stop me from shaking with silent sobs as I mulled over the words Winnie said minutes earlier, sticking to my brain like velcro. 

‘ He always saw the greatness in you, but like you he didn’t think he deserved to be apart of the success he knew someone he loved was destined for. He saw you, Carmy. ‘

I shook my head at the thought, wiping the never ending stream of tears from my raw cheeks. “Fuckin, get it together quit bein a pussy” I muttered to myself, sniffling and standing up, shaking my hand by my side roughly, hearing the joint crack with each flick as I paced back and forth quickly, uncontrollably gasping breaths taking over my lungs in place of sobs as I swallowed everything back. 

I refused to be sniveling like a little bitch when I got in Nat’s car. I’m not fuckin’ 7 anymore. I clear my throat, looking up at the sky as I pace, trying to find anything to pop in my mind other then the racing thoughts of Mikey, and the overwhelming guilt that I somehow killed him by leaving. 

I was so lost in attempting to chill the fuck out - that I didn’t even hear Natalie’s SUV pull up. What pulled me out of my head was the sound of her car door slamming. 

“Bear- fuckin’ Jesus Carmen, thank god Y’re alright buddy, you scared me fuckin’ shitless” she comes up to me, hugging me tightly and nestling her face in my chest. “I love you, i love you, I love you Carmen. I don’t tell you enough, but I love you, ok? So so fucking much. Y’re still my little bud. Y’know that, right? Y’re gonna be my little buddy forever” She mutters. 

And with that, I cracked once again. “Nat” I whisper, before completely breaking down in her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. She hugs me tighter, rubbing circles into my back soothingly.  

“Oh, Bear…” she whispered sadly into my hair, “tell me, tell me Carm.” She said and I tried to catch my breath.

“I- fuck- holy fuck. I- I needa sit…please. D-do you have water?” I cough hard into my arm. Fuckin cigarettes only fuck me up this bad when I’m like this. 

“Carm, fuckin’ breathe - holy shit. Yes, c’mon” she tugs my sleeve and I got on the passanger side, immediately grabbing her large purple cup that of course was just like Winnie’s-

Since the universe is determined to cackle at my demise at every beck and turn. 

-but I got past it due to my mouth that was so dry it felt glued, and chug down about half of the cup by the short time she’d sat in the driver seat and set the cup back down with a sigh. 

“Glad to see you found the water” she said, turning the engine over so we wouldn’t freeze. “So. Cmon. Let’s go. code hiccup..this must be serious” she said, bringing a small, barely there smile to my lips. 

Code hiccup was what she called her mandatory chats with me as a kid, when I’d get so fuckin’ worked up that I’d be hiccuping as I cried since I could barely breathe. And during these, she told me ‘as an older sister she has authority to make me tell her what’s bothering me.’ - she’d only ever called one of these when I was at the very wits end of my breaking point, so I never fought her on it. 

I look at her “Mikey- Winnie- she -hic- she…what the fuck did you say t’her, Nat?” Ok, so I guess I still get so worked up I fuckin’ hiccup. 

“Carm, what? Thats why you’re all fuckin’ upset?! Cause I told her a few childhood stories, and told her about how much he missed you when you were away? How close you both were? You knew that already. I told you that! I tried calling, Bear. You fuckin iced me out the same way he did t’you” she shook her head. 

“No- n-no she -hic- she…she said” I took a shaking breath, swallowing back the lump in my throat that was threatening to make a reappearance. “Why would she ever say I -hic- take after him? W- -hic- we both know that Mikey-“ I shook my head, looking out the window. “Was better at fuckin everything. He was normal.” I said quietly. 

“Carm, you are so much like him- you take after him in so many ways. The good and the bad.Other then the….the end for him, you were the same. We practically raised you, Carm, if anyone knows you its me, and it was Mike. How you’re so selfless in forgoing your own pleasures for the sake of others, your passion, Carm, your passion for your family, your passion for cooking? He missed you…but- I could tell he wanted you to just…do your own thing” she said, holding her cup in her lap and twirling the straw anxiously. 

“He knew Nat, he knew how much it h-hic-hurt me, when he fuckin…” I shook my head, closing my eyes tightly as tears pricked at the corners. 

“Bear I need you to hear me when I say this and not take it the wrong way…” she whispered and I looked at her, swallowing thickly. 

“A few months after you left…we were talking, and- he…he told me that…” she shakes her head, looking at her lap. “He told me that unless he kicked you out hard enough, you’d be too…soft to make it, like- that… that you wouldn’t be angry enough to get where you needed to go, to pull yourself up. He said that…that in the kitchen industry..you cant be so openly in love with cooking like you were…that to succeed you had to be serious about it, that it wasn’t about love, its about perfection. So he- he did that because he thought that he was helping you- but..but loving and being soft isn’t a bad thing Bear, and I wanted to fuckin wallop him over the back of the head for ever even thinking like that, but he told me…where you were going- where you were destined to go…you’d never had made it if he- if…he held your hand like he always did.” her eyes finally met mine once more.

I was just sitting there, dumbfounded, hiccups escaping my lips every so often a stears silently streamed down my cheeks. “Why does everyone except you and Winnie work like that, Natty?” I whispered after a long moment of silence. 

“Like what, Carm?” she brushes some stray tears away from my cheek. “That in order to offer help, they need to hurt me first”

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

I didn’t sleep at all that night, I didn’t even realize it was 6am until I got an alarm on my phone, alerting that Taylor would be hitting the stage in a few minutes.

She always helps me forget things for a little while. I’m so glad she’s starting her leg in Singapore, today.

 I grabbed it off the charger hitting the stop button, and rubbing my tired eyes. “ ‘Lexa - g’morning” I said ‘Good morning’ it replied, my LED lights flicking on to a warm pinky orange.

I sat up in bed, finding my remote and switching Criminal Minds out for the morning news, before grabbing my phone and opening up the live stream of her concert. Amidst everything, i’d forgotten about Swiftball completely- not even caring much. I had went numb a few hours ago, when it would have been a reasonable walk. No, Carm went home. He had to have, the only thing left here of his was his backpack, that was laying flat on the floor since everything he’d brought to wear for the night was on his person, and his pair of Levi’s, as well as one of his white shirts. 

I got up, stretching my back and listening as the lead up speech to Cruel Summer started. 

“Oh! Nǐ hǎo!” she said adorably before beginning to sing, causing me to giggle. 

“Adorable” I mutter to myself, turning around and picking up Persephone from her spot on Carm’s-

On the other side of my bed. 

And held her like a baby. “G’mornin stinky” I said and kissed her head. She looked up at me and licked my nose, causing me to scrunch it up and smile. “Tank you for kisses smoochy, where were you last night mmm? Hidin’?” I put her back down on the bed gently and stroke her tail before grabbing my phone and heading to the bathroom.

I connected to my speaker, listening to Lover play, and rolling my eyes to myself as I start the shower and began to undress. 

This therapy session is gonna be brutal. I feel it. 

Nonetheless, out of habit I hummed along. I washed my body while listening to The Archer, Deep conditioned my hair, dancing around in the shower a bit to Fearless, it really was one of my favorite songs of hers. Probably because it was one of those songs Chris and I danced to a billion times together in my room with my little hello kitty CD player my mom had gotten me as my christmas present at a garage sale one year. 

I shaved my legs to You Belong With Me, and exfoliated to Love Story, smiling as I replayed all the memories of Chris turning the volume all the way up, and sitting criss-cross on my floor, his hand over the top of the CD player, feeling the hum of the lyrics and the bass while I jumped wildly on my bed and sung my heart out like I was preforming my own personal concert. We’d listened to this album so much, and I’d signed him the lyrics so much, that by the bumping of the bass and vibration of the lyrics- he knew by memory what song was playing after a while.

By the time Look What You Made Me Do was playing, I was cutting the water off from my long luxurious shower. I was convinced I’d scrubbed every touch of him off my body, out of guilt more then anything. I swoop in his life, give him these new experiences, make him feel loved, and then clawed open his deepest wound that had barely clotted yet. 

He doesn’t deserve to heal on my timing because it would make our relationship easier on me. This is about us together, and the conversation we had was out of my own selfishness. 

I’m torn away from my swirling thoughts from the opening lines of Enchanted, rolling my eyes in annoyance, “Oh give me a fuckin’ break.” I mutter to the universe. I finished drying myself off, trying to ignore the lyrics as I slathered my lotion on. 

And now I’m pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door.. 

“No! No its a stupid song and I am not dramatic and this song isn’t even about anything like what happened shut UP brain” I rambled to myself, spraying on my Honey Bee body mist that had golden glitter in it, going out to my bedroom and opening my dresser. 

I focused on getting dressed, putting on a black T-shirt bra and panties and heading over to my closet. I pulled out one of my favorite pairs of overalls with Pooh embroidered on them, as well as a striped tan,blue, and red turtleneck sweater i’d thrifted. I slipped on the sweater, untucking my damp hair and adjusting the collar before putting on the overalls and buckling them up. 

I went back over to my dresser, pulling out some plain black ankle socks and slipping them on before grabbing my phone and heading into the bathroom. I quickly blew out my hair so my bangs wouldn’t curl up wildly, and brushed my teeth before heading out to the kitchen with Persephone on my heels as I hum along with We are Never Ever Getting Back Together  

This is the energy I need to take on for his sake. 

I sighed to myself as I took out one of my iced coffee glasses, stuffing it with ice before putting it under the coffee machine & brewing a strong latte. 

I had nothing to make for breakfast, and did not feel like going to the store- so I just decided to skip it and grab some McDonald’s on my way home from therapy later. I wandered off to my craft room, looking over various projects I’d started and contemplating what I wanted to throw myself into today. 

Something…intricate. 

I knew just the thing. I opened up the closet, pulling out the bodice mannequin that was dressed in my half done replica of Taylor’s Midnight Rain bodysuit. I had scoured google for days finding the perfect colors of beads, finding the best threads that wouldn’t snap, the best sequins. I saved up for 3 months, after my last Taylor concert- because Sadie and I agreed that we’d be watching for more Tickets to her Miami show, because it was so good when we went we had to do it again. 

I hum along to The Last Great American Dynasty as I prepared my sewing needle, getting all my beads and sequins laid out. I counted out my first group of 13 beads, sewing them in a neat row one by one, having to push up my glasses on my nose every so often. 

I only broke my trance when she started singing the first surprise song of the evening sparks fly. I gasped, standing up and watching closely, dancing around and singing along, squealing excitedly when she mixed in Gold Rush as well. 

“Oh my god those are perfect songs together!!!” I jump happily, singing along excitedly when she got to the chorus. 

“I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right!! And lead me up the staircase won’t you whisper soft and slow!! I’m captivated by you baby like a firework sho-“

“Winnie?” I hear and a shriek escapes my lips in surprise. I whip around to see Carm standing in the doorway. 

“Bastard” I slap my hand over my heart, attempting to catch my breath. “Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that! Jesus I almost had a heart attack!” I said, and there was the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. 

“I did knock, sorry I guess it wasn’t loud enough.” He said. His eyes were bloodshot, nose red and raw from being rubbed. His curls were a mess of broken waves from running his hands through them so much. 

“I thought…” I turn the volume on my phone down. “I- I thought you…went home.” I said, biting the inside of my lip nervously. 

“What? No..no. I’m sorry, I- I had to think…I uh- I saw Sugar, we talked. She just dropped me off cause she has to get her kid ready for school. But I feel…better, kinda.” He releases a shaky breath. 

I nod, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry, I’m really, sorry, Carmen. I- I shouldn’t have said any of that t’you..it doesn’t matter how I feel about Mikey and- and how I feel about how you feel about him…it was never my place to reopen that wound. And…I-“ my voice cracks, vision going blurry with tears. 

“I think I’ll only hurt you if we keep this up.” I shake my head, looking at my feet and nervously playing with my fingers. 

“No- well, maybe- maybe yeah…-“ he hesitated and swallowed thickly. 

I squeeze my eyes shut, hot tears running down my cheeks. 

Selfish. Manipulative. Horrible. You ruin everything you touch. Why are you crying- he should be the one crying. You hurt him - you selfish greedy bitch! 

I shake my head as the voices roar in my ears. 

“I mean- it was a lot all at once…baby, and it was really late, and- and we had just been so close like that for the first time in bed, and that was my first time being so close to someone in bed in general. And - I…I think I was too emotionally fucked out for that and that’s why I ran. But I want you. I want this” He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

I look up at him, sniffling. “Y-you don’t hate me now?” I whisper, my voice shakey. 

“Honey” he said softly, stepping towards me and opening his arms. I felt pulled like a magnet, dropping my phone on my chair and curling my arms around him, nuzzling my face in his chest and inhaling the scent of cigarettes, sandalwood, cedar, the smallest touch of jasmine, but best of all the light tinge of him. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, Bear” I whisper over and over again into his shirt. He rubs my back in long soothing strokes. 

“ it’s okay baby, I’m just…I feel alot when I with you- let’s go slow with talks like that yeah?” He mumbled in to my hair and I nod slightly against his chest.

“Thank you” I said softly and look up at him, resting my chin on his sternum. 

“F’what baby?” He brushed my bangs from my eyes. 

“Not leaving me.” I whisper and he bent his neck downwards, resting his forehead on mine and looking into my eyes.  

“It’s a me thing - not a you thing- but…I’m really confused why I didn’t. I mean…that’s my MO usually, especially with girls. But…I dunno…I wanna keep trying this time, y’re different.” He squeezes my hips gently. 

I wrap my arms around his neck loosely, “kiss me?” I ask softly and he obliges. I hum satisfied at the feeling of his lips once more, swiping my tongue across his bottom lip and he opened his mouth on contact, his tongue finding mine. I tasted a tinge of iron, and he pulled away lightly when my tongue ran over his bottom lip, feeling the raw flesh. He’s been biting the fuck out of his lips.

Our noses sweetly rub together in the tender kiss, my fingers twirling a soft blonde tuft of hair between them. He pulled away after a moment, and I looked up at him.  “can we sleep baby, please” his eyes fluttered back shut, it sounded like a plea more then anything. 

“Let’s go t’sleep, Bear” I intertwined our fingers, tugging him gently to the bedroom.

I’m woken by my Apple Watch buzzing on my wrist. I groan softly, looking at it ‘therapy 1 hr.!!’ The alarm read. I hit stop, carefully untangling Carmen and I, first slowly deranging our fingers, then carefully untwisting our legs, and finally ever so gently picking up his arm and rolling out of bed slowly so as to not wake him. Poor thing has only been sleeping 6 hours and he was surely up for more than 24. 

I slipped his white tshirt off, dropping it on the bed and I went over to my desk, putting on my outfit that I’d taken off to nap. Then, I sat at my vanity, popping in my AirPods and listening to my metal playlist as I did some light simple makeup, brushing my long hair into a high ponytail, leaving my fringe out. My music goes soft, Siri reading out a notification. 

Text from Syd the Chef kid 👩🏾‍🍳🫶: place is slow cause the rain, espresso date b4 therapy?? 

I smiled to myself, grabbing my phone and quickly texting back. 

Plsss!! 🥹🫶 imu goddess. Need Syd time!!!

I got up, going and brushing my teeth before feeding Persephone her early dinner so she didn’t wake Carm asking for it if he slept through my appointment. I grabbed a piece of my Hello Kitty stationary and a pen, quickly writing. 

Went to therapy. Be back by 4:30, please lock the door if you leave (didn’t wanna wake you, you look so sweet + handsome when you’re sleeping ♡ ) x♡x♡ - Winnie♡ :) 

I quietly entered the bedroom, leaving the note on my pillow and giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead, being sure to tuck his arm into the blanket so he wouldn’t get cold and brushed his hair back before grabbing my tote and shutting the bedroom door behind me. 

I check my phone to see a new text from Syd about 5 minutes ago 

Be there in 10!

I grabbed her heels that id been long meaning to give back to her, quietly shutting the front door behind me and I went downstairs. By the time I was bouncing down the steps her blue optima was pulling up. I practically skipped over, it had been ages it felt since we last got to hang out. Syd brought me to therapy 3 times a week, she refused to take gas money, and told me that she didn’t want me dealing with surge pricing or risking the train. 

I pop open the passenger door “you’re children” I present her heels dramatically. She laughs, taking them from my hand and tossing them in the back. 

“Thank you. You only held them ransom for how many months?” She asks as I shut my door, buckling in. I laughed. 

“Mmm don’t ask you know me and time” I said, putting my tote at my feet. “I fuckin missed you bitch!!! When are those James award nominations coming out?” I ask and she looks nervous. 

“Last night” she said and I gasp 

“SYDNEY!!! Oh my god! No- don’t tell me you haven’t looked!! You’ve been working so hard!” I tap her arm excitedly. 

“I literally couldn’t bring myself to look at them that’s why I wanted to get coffee” she said putting the car in drive and turning down the main road to get on the highway. 

“Dude! With all the attention The Bear has gotten since you opened last year, and like - what is it- four of the five most popular dishes are all yours!!! Bitch- Carmen should be scared! You are coming for his neck!” I laughed and she shakes her head, smiling wide. 

“I know..I know..but still like..” she sighs a bit “what if it’s like it was last year…what if- like…what if they just see our success as his success..he totally deserved all the awards last year, but- that to me is all the more reason for the voting panel to hand it to him. And he’s been on like 2 podcast interviews…and he has like a whole fandom online.” She said and I grab her hand that was moving as she spoke, squeezing gently. 

“Syd..Carmen isn’t a new chef- he’s already won that last year, sure he can take outstanding chef, if he’s nominated. But…” I swallow thickly. “I- I know Carm is amazing but like- cmon…Syd. You’ve been…the star of that restaurant now, the whole time you’ve been open. Carm is the handsome face that’s been media trained, yes we both know he’s a crazy genius chef mastermind- but - so are you! You’re younger then he is, and I have no doubt you’re nominated for something this year. Yeah, Carmy is getting the bear out there on social media by bein all sexy and stuff in interviews- but you are the one that’s being interviewed like weekly by those blogs and magazines” I said and her smile returns. 

“You’re right, you’re totally right. Totally. Carmen can’t be nominated for emerging chef again, he already won it.” She squeezed my hand gently. 

“Speaking of Carmen.” She eyes me through the rear view mirror. “Spill.” She said and I bit my lip, looking out the window as I played with my fingers nervously.  “Okay. What happened.” She demands, turning the radio lower. 

“I’m a idiot is what happened” I said embarrassed and pick at balls of lint on the inside of my sleeve. 

“Okay and this is becauseeee…” she drawls, waiting for me to continue. 

“Because I thought it’d be a good idea to try and help him realize that the reason things went the way they did with Mikey per his sister was because it sounded like Mikey was ashamed of his own skill set because of how talented Carmy was from so young, and he instead of being honest about it- took more of a tough- er- really icey love approach, and just - froze him out. Like threw him in the middle of the ocean to drown without his help for the first time and left him there. Because he thought it would make him tough. But it really just fuckin wounded him emotionally and Mikey had alot of guilt about that and - “ she interrupts my rambling. 

“Dude-“ she chuckles in shock. “Dude….you said that?!” She looks at me for a short second before looking back at the road. 

“Well- n-yeah? Something similar I guess in the moment when he’s looking at me with his sad blue puppy eyes I had a hard fuckin’ time getting anything coherent out. So he flipped his shit and had a panic attack and ran off to go see sugar I guess and then came back at like 7 am and told me he still wants to be with me then knocked out and was sleeping still when I left.” I said and she raised her eyebrows, thinking for a moment. 

“Hmm..well- I’m surprised he came back. He said that? Those words? Tell me exactly what he said when he came back.” She said and I roll my eyes. 

“Why are you the Carmy whisperer or something?” I huff lightly “he said like- ‘It was a lot at once baby it was late and we just fucked like that for the first time and I’ve never been so close to someone while I fucked them and I was too emotionally drained and that’s why I ran but I want you I want this’ “ I paraphrase from memory as best I could. 

“Holy shit what did you do to him?!” She teases with a giggle causing me to start laughing too. 

“What? What the hell do you mean!!” I tap her arm playfully. 

“I’ve never heard Carmen say he wants something emotionally unless it had to do with the restaurant. He doesn’t give a fuck about anything. So…hm…maybe- maybe this is good for him” she said the end to herself more than anything. 

I raised my eyebrows “should I be offended you thought I’d be bad for him?!” I cross my arms and she laughs. 

“You? No. God no. I say that because I knew you were good for him- but I thought he was gonna run himself ragged dodging his own feelings while simultaneously doing everything he can to make you fall for him and keep you interested just like he did to me. But hey- I’m happy genuinely, Pooh that you’re getting out there again. But…fair warning- when he starts acting like an asshole- and he has periods where he’s fully a fucking asshole, I swear it’s like a fuckin’ man period- know that you are gonna be the one we’re calling to get a leash on him cause the only time he acts okay about everything going on is after he sees you.” She said and I felt my cheeks heat. 

Did I really affect his attitude that much?!   “Spray ‘em with a spray bottle, it works on Sephy, he’s very cat-like so I assume it’ll work on him.” I said, and we both laughed.

“Oh my god you never skipped school?!” I asked Syd as we walked up the sidewalk to the coffee shop. 

“My dad would have killed me probably. What did you even do?” She asked and I laugh at all the memories. 

“Oh my god so, in high school- we uh…don’t talk anymore but - my best friend her name was Jane and she had a car first, so we in sophomore year during lunch would go eat out in her car and then…usually I would convince her to skip with me, cause I’m such a devil” 

She snorts a laugh “Fits” she opens the door to the coffee shop for me. 

“Why thank you, but anyway we would like usually drive around and blast music. Or we’d go to my house since my mom was never home and watch movies. And then Chris would get home and we’d fight about him giving me his notes since we were always in the same classes, and he’d tell me I was a fucking cheater - his favorite word.” I laugh a bit, getting in line with her. 

“It sounds like Chris and I would’ve been friends, that’s a cute story though. I always wished I had a sibling.” She said as she looked over the menu. 

“No singletons always say that, but you’d hate a sibling. Think Sadie how she’s all up in your shit, but from the day you were born” I giggle and she shook her head with a smile. 

“Yeah but I dunno. Sugar is super sweet, I wish I had a sister, but I guess Sadie’s close enough” she shrugged, stepping up with me in line. 

“What are you getting?” I asked, looking over the iced options. 

“Vietnamese iced coffee. They do it perfect here. I’ve been telling Carm it would do well on the dessert menu if we had one but, who am I to tell him what to add “ she mutters to herself, annoyance slightly lacing her voice and I nudge her with my hip. 

“Hey,” I nudge her with my hip, causing her to look at me. “He’s a man. He may be a genius chef, but he’s still, a man- make him think it’s his idea, Syd. Do your Sydney chef kid magic “ I did sparkle fingers for added effect, finally earning her dimples back. “Make the best fuckin Vietnamese iced coffee, and have someone else try it. Make him feel left out. And they’ll obviously be like ‘oh my god Syd, this is amazing’ and then, he’s gonna feel stupid if he doesn’t add it.” I said and she rolls her eyes amusedly. 

“I think you’re the Carmen whisperer. Well, you’ll be certified if that works” she said with a smile as we step up to the counter. 

“Hey there, can I have a name for the order?” The barista asked. 

“Winnie!” I replied before Syd could try to weasel her way into paying - again.   

“Ha! Fitting name, love the overalls. What can I get for you?” the barista chirped with a smile. 

“May we please have 2 large Vietnamese iced coffees, oh- and…” my eyes settled on the pastry case in front of us, a brown wicker basket on top filled with cookies in the shape of little bears. 

I grabbed one, handing it to her. “This.” I said and she nodded, putting in the order in her till. 

I double clicked my power button and quickly waved my phone over the till before Syd could think to and she nudged me with her shoulder causing me to smile. “Woops” I teased, taking the bag from the barista containing the little cookie for Carm. 

“You ladies can wait there at the end of the bar there we’ll call out your order, have a good one” she said. 

I nodded “thank you!” I said as we made our way down to the end of the counter to wait. 

“The second I saw those cookies I knew your mushy ass was getting one” she teased, leaning her hip against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest with a smug smirk. 

“Oh like you didn’t know I’m a hopeless romantic” I smiled. 

It wasn’t long until we got our coffees and sat at a comfy corner table. “I’ve never had this before- what is the white is it milk?” I asked and she nods, stirring hers with her straw. 

“It’s sweetened condensed milk. It sounds like it would be sickly sweet but the coffee is so strong it balances perfect. I was thinking…” she leans in so no one would hear. “If we did it, I’ll do like lavender in the milk, of course we’d make our own condensed milk, so I’d steep lavender in it before. Wouldn’t that be fire?!” She asked and I nod with a big smile. 

“You are so fuckin smart, Syd. That sounds amazing you’ll have all the witchy bitches me included coming by just to get that I bet” I stirred mine up and took a sip, nodding. “Totally something you guys would sell” I said and she smiled. I grabbed my phone, opening up the camera. “Smileee!” I said she gave me a silly smile and a thumbs up, coffee foam covering her top lip.

“Perfect” I giggled, sending it to Sadie with the caption ‘Our fave chef kid’ 

I put my phone down and look at her “Okay! You’re not denying me the pleasure of celebrating you any longer- take out your phone and let’s see if you’re nominated!!!” I urge and she bites her lip nervously, grabbing her phone, unlocking it, and setting it on the table. 

“If I got nominated I’ll have an email…you do it- I can’t look. I can’t” she pushes her phone towards me and I eagerly grab it, opening up her email and refreshing it. I smiled wide when I saw the words, clicking open the email and clearing my throat before reading 

‘Dear Chef de Cuisine; Sydney Adamu, 

We hope this email finds you well. 

The James Beard Foundation 2024 Awards Committee would like to extend their congratulations on such a fine year of culinary accomplishments. Your passion to the culinary arts, and dedication to our personal mission at TJBF to celebrate, support, and elevate the standards behind America’s food culture- doesn’t go unrecognized. 

This is why you have been nominated for the for the following awards;

Outstanding Chef ‘

I jump up, wrapping my arms around her with a wide smile, tears pricking behind my eyes. “Syd!!! You did it. You did it. I knew you would” I squeeze her tight. 

“Holy fuck” she grabs the phone, and I watch as she rereads the words over and over “holy fuck.” She whispers, jaw dropped. 

“I told you bitch!! Look at herrr okay!! Syd the chef kid! Everyone better watch out! You skipped right past emerging chef and went straight for the big one! Oh my god I can’t wait for you to tell Sadie!! Oh my god we need to celebrate!!” I pat her arm excitedly. 

“Wait-“ she said, scrolling further I quickly read the rest of the email, my heart sinking slightly when I saw the paragraph she was now stuck on. 

‘You have been nominated among 4 other extraordinary, and talented Chefs in the industry; 

Berzatto, Carmen (Executive Chef) 

Cantina, Jose (Executive Chef) 

Donner, Phillip (Executive Chef) 

Nixon, Jessica (Executive Chef) ‘

“So- they just fuckin’ nominated me against people that are all my senior? Are they joking” she laughs dryly. “And then to pit me against Carmen? What is wrong with them, Winnie?” She locked her phone, putting it back in her jacket pocket. “I just- I’d rather they had given me a fair chance. This just feels like they’re telling me straight up they won’t pick me.”  

“Syd - don’t get down on yourself, what if they put you in there because you’re the only Chef-de-fancypants that deserved it, hmm?” I said with a small smile and she snorts at the silly name. 

“That’d be a long shot…but thanks” she said, squeezing my hand gently. “C'mon- we have to get you to therapy and I need to get back. I should be working on recipes” she said and my frown returns. 

In this way, her and Carm were exactly the same. Whenever she was upset with herself she threw herself into her work instead of feeling. 

“Alright…” I said softly and got up, putting the brown paper bag containing Carm’s cookie in my tote carefully so it wouldn’t be crushed, standing up. 

The walk back to the car was silent, I could tell she was beating herself up and I hated it. 

“Y’know…it’s crazy you even got nominated so young, Syd. Everyone else on that list is at least 3 years older than you are…so like- they see you as deserving already, but it doesn’t even matter what they think, or what Carmen thinks, or what I think. You’re deserving because you know how much you put into your work.” I told her once we were driving again. 

She nodded, “thank you…really it means a lot. I know I’m deserving, I just wish sometimes other people would see it.” She said, and my heart ached. We listened to SZA the whole way, I decided it was better not to push her on the issue. I’d long since realized Syd was the kind of person who had to stew in her anger or hurt for a while, alone- so she was comfortable explaining it to someone else since she knew it like the back of her hand. It was alot how she did her work, she would never show anyone any new recipe she was working on - even Carm - unless she felt it was already deserving of a spot on the menu, because she knew the dish so well, and any possible thing that could make it better- and only approaches someone for final tweaks. 

When we stopped at the Doctors office I lean over and give her a hug. “It’s all gonna be ok, Kid. I love you, i’ll see you friday” I said softly into her shoulder and she rests her head on mine, hugging me close. 

“Thanks…Love y’too. It will be…” she said softly into my shoulder and I pulled away. 

“And I expect you’ll send me that new article to check out when they send it to you yeah? You looked so gorgeous in the pictures they took. Really, I cant wait to see the whole thing” I said and she nodded with a small smile. 

“Course Pooh, C’mon-” she taps the clock that read 1:54 “Gonna be late” she said and I rolled my eyes playfully.

“Yes Mommy” I teased, pushing the door open. “Later kid!” I said as I swung it shut and head in to the building.

Time to rip open some unhealed wounds! Oh what a joy.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[behindthewox]

What is your opinion on the MoM of JM eliminating the chat hierarchy?

Personally I highly disagree with this decision, as we were already dealing with people stepping on everyone else’s toes. Now we have literally every staff member in chat RACING to correct them first, often not even explaining correctly.

Example:

What your supposed to say: “Watch the spam, remember that the maximum of repeated words in a row is considered spam <3”

What is typically said: “Watch ur spam!”

followed by:

“HAHAHHA BEAT YOU IM THE FASTEST.”

It’s unacceptable and making a mockery of another persons mistakes and I am positive that we have lost new users over this new rule. Heck, I wouldn’t spend another minute on a site that found my mistake as a funny joke or a race.

Well, it's probably an efficient method of losing users and making other people question who put a child in charge of all the children. Like Peter Pan in Neverland. Is that too harsh of me to say? Forgive me, but I will be harsh with this one.

It's human nature to want to make yourself look good and correcting other people's mistakes is an easy opportunity to do that. People will take that opportunity without really thinking about it, especially children and teens who tend to be more impulsive. If a child sees someone do wrong, they are likely to point it out because they know it's wrong and they want the world to see that they know better. In teenagers it's less apparent and more controlled, but it's still there - especially online. You often see it in adults too, people who haven't yet matured and/or learned when to shut up. But to put it simply, it's a behaviour associated mainly with children, and to sum it up in a single verb: it's childish.

Taking a step back and not intervene in a situation takes some learning, and lots of practise. WoX is a great place to do that learning, but it needs to be organised and structured with guidance from experienced mods/admins who know what they're doing. There has to be an "adult" in charge to draw the lines, and keep everyone within them. Without "adults" all you've got is children and there's a reason Peter Pan kidnapped Wendy. The Lost Boys were lost without an adult to guide them.

So my question is, where are the adults? Don't kidnap a Wendy, that's illegal.

(for more about chat moderation, "Keep reading")

If I was a site leader and my staff competed to correct users in the chat, I'd give them all a very serious lecture and point out that if they can't handle the position and authority they've got, then they shouldn't have it. Competing to correct other people's mistakes and wrongs is childish, disrespectful and highly unprofessional, not to mention upsetting and potentially hurtful to new users who may simply have made an honest mistake.

Sometimes hierarchies are bad, but oftentimes they are actually a good thing. Hierarchies of authority exist for many reasons, one reason being to make sure each task and responsibility is handled by the person or people who will do it correctly. Chat moderation can be tricky and needs to be done right, using pre-agreed methods and ongoing teamwork. Discord servers were important for this, allowing the chat moderators to communicate off-site about what to do (and what not to do) and share information and instructions.

It's also important to keep it minimal and make sure it doesn't get overwhelming and feels like an attack. One moderator is usually enough to deal with most situations, the more moderators you get involved the messier it gets with risks of contradicting statements/instructions and making the situation a whole lot bigger than it actually is. Mistakes should always be forgiven and approached with gentle nudges, not a response as if they've broken every rule in the book. For example, sending one message too many is NOT a big deal. It's worth a polite nudge, but no more. Five different people calling you out for spamming over one message is out of proportion, feels like an attack and frankly looks unprofessional and childish.

The chat hierarchy is in place to prevent that. Those with authority to give reminders should be instructed to step back if someone else is already dealing with it, especially if that someone has higher authority. They will (presumably) know how to handle it correctly and what information to give.

Rules exist for a reason. The reasons aren't always obvious, but they are there. Don't dismiss them just because you don't understand them.

[rwqv]

christmas cheer

or, rev tries to write

a quackity x reader for @wimbledonsoot (because there is not enough 😢)

event organized by @grey-rambles ^_^

cw: swearing, mentions of quackity’s scar, fighting (verbally and physically)

yoooo hahaha hiiii sorry for the wait im just really bad at timing and i still got it out though so hahahha hi

————

“Shit!” Quackity yelled at the top of his lungs. “You bitch, I am going to fucking kill you-”

Quackity looked at you with eyebrows furrowed, and you’d think if he looked at you any longer you’d catch on fire.

You smiled. “Shouldn’t have left Boner sitting out all alone in the rain, poor poor Boner. Do not ever try to steal my shit again.”

The pile of bones left from Boner’s corpse trembled and clacked together in the downpour of rain.

Quackity gritted his teeth. “You’re gonna fucking regret this.”

Months passed. You moved into a house in the middle of nowhere, leaving no trace of where you went. People came by your house whether to talk, trade, or just hand off supplies. You quickly forgot about Quackity’s threat, as you had heard from the people passing by that he got his ass handed to him against Technoblade. You feared nothing from his vague and empty threats.

Until one day, the sound of crackling reached your ears while you were fast asleep. You opened up your eyes only to see your entire farm, your front lawn, and part of your house was blown up. You sprinted outside, it being around 6 AM, to find everything you had been working on in ruins. You were furious, to say the least. The anger almost fueled you to just blow up yourself, until you found a little note not too far away from the wreckage.

Merry Christmas! How do you like the new renovations? Your house was looking quite boring, so I decided to spruce it up a bit ;)

Meet me ASAP. Las Nevadas. My office. I’ll be dying to catch up with you.

-Q

That petty bitch decided to pull this on you. You quickly grabbed your sword and pickaxe (for good measure) and set out for ‘Las Nevadas’ with the help of Tubbo.

As soon as the goat hybrid led you to the sandy hills, he let you marvel at what you were seeing on your own. Luminous signs, advertisements, towering structures, beautiful waterfalls and the cow farms were piercing your eyes, almost too much to take in at once. You stood there a while, gawking at the myriad of sights you were bearing witness to, until Tubbo looked back at you and snapped you out of it.

“Hurry up! It’s getting late, and navigating through the woods in the dark is a pain in the arse.” Tubbo whined.

Completely ignoring his complaints, you tentatively asked, “How is Big Q?”

Tubbo then half-assedly responded, “y’know”

“No, I don’t know?” You said.

“Y’know,” He once again responded, but before you could ask him what he meant you reached the doors to his office.

BANG BANG BANG!

You knocked on his door with your fists, almost punching the door. Q had no right to do that to you.

You then heard a sigh, and a shuffle, then followed by a sing-songy voice sung out by who obviously had to be Quackity, “Come in!”

Jesus. You collected yourself one more time before slamming the door open, taking in his room in entirety.

His walls were offwhite with gold pillars running through the walls, shining bright. Bookshelves lined around his desk area, which was facing away from the massive window as a wall, letting the sunset light breathe out into the surrounding areas. The Christmas lights and the tree with gambling coins on it gleamed so bright you’d think it was a star. The marble ground contrasted nicely with the red carpet leading down a straight line right to Quackity’s desk. You finally looked at him to take in the final piece of the puzzle. His hair was longer, a beanie no longer being able to hide the absolute mess his hair was. His face was tainted with a massive scar across his face, leaving one of his eyes blind. His dress shirt was half unbuttoned, revealing the necklace with 2 rings on them, both shining either orange or purple. His wings were out for the first time, yet they did not look healthy at all, since when you knew Quackity was Vice President, Schlatt would clip his wings in a desperate act of power. His feet were up on the desk, him obviously smug and reclining about your obedience to come here at his orders, almost like a dog.

“Oh, I see you’ve come to see me?” He asked calmly.

You were absolutely not having it. “You wrote it in your note, since, yknow, you blew up my fucking house.” you spat out.

“But I did not, I only blew up your front lawn!” He smiled, revealing the one gold tooth he had around the area where the massive scar was located.

You stomped over and grabbed him by the collar. “Now listen here, Alex.” You said with poison in your voice. “You’re going to repay me twofold in property and emotional damage, as well as beg for forgiveness from me. Got that?”

He chuckled. “No.” He simply responded, then broke into hysterics.

You were beyond furious at this point, as your eyes quickly darted to his chest, where the two rings on a string necklace hung. Quickly snatching the necklace, you secured it in the palm of your hand as he then started to bare his teeth.

You, then having a higher sense of pride, then said, “Tsk. Maybe this time you’ll beg for these two rings back. They seem so special to you, as you hold them so close to your heart.” You mocked him.

“Listen here, dipshit.” He growled out, “I don’t think you know how this works. You should be the one paying me for Boner, as well as for the trouble that you put me through.”

You then chuckled, mocking his tone, “No.” You then started fake laughing. “You damaged most of my property, incomparable to a pile of barely sentient bones.”

Quackity grabbed your collar in turn, and with a fiery red in his eye he slapped you across the face. “He was my everything, and you just mercilessly killed him.”

You both now holding each other's collars, and with a red mark across your cheek now, started sparring. You both didnt let go of each other’s collars, instead taking the closeness as an advantage.

You grab his hair that wasn’t inside the beanie, and yanked hard, bringing him to his knees. Yet, as he was still holding your collar, you got pulled down as well (not mentioning the fact that he grabbed onto your legs and pulled) and both of you started to try to grab anything to get back up, letting go of each other's collars. You got up first, finding his desk refuge as you lifted yourself up. Quackity, in turn, staggered up, yet he did not use his desk to lift himself up. He got himself up, then tripped on himself, falling down. You laughed at him as he staggered up again once more. Now, he was even more angry, grabbing his sword from his desk and he was looking back at you, with his sword in his hand.

You in turn, grabbed the pickaxe out of your inventory in an act of desperation, and he seemed to pause his actions for a moment as he stared at the pickaxe in a mix of anger, hate, and fear.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Quackity asked, eyes squinting at you.

“C’mon and fight. Or are you too scared?” You mocked, a smirk plaguing your face.

He growled at you, then starting to swing his sword, he grunted, “Fuck you.”

Your pickaxe and sword clashed together, and you two ended up in a position where the pickaxe and sword were stuck together, with your back facing the wall and Q in front of you.

You could do nothing but try and budge your pickaxe, which did nothing, on account of the fact that neither one of you wanted to let go as to give the other the advantage.

You stared at each other for a good while, slightly shifting, moving around to hope to escape from this, yet none of you could budge.

“Fuck you.” You quickly muttered out, hoping to beat him down with words.

“Go on and try.” He gave you a half-assed smirk.

You stared at him for another two seconds, letting him know about the fact that, you in fact, weren’t laughing at his joke. Finally, wanting to spite him, you closed the gap between you and him with a kiss.

“Jesus-” was all that you could feel from him saying it into your lips, although you could also feel a little smile on his lips.

You pulled away quickly, jokingly wiping your lips and he in turn jokingly spit out.

“We will talk about this later.” He said, before reconnecting with your lips.

—

SPRRY FOR THE BAD ENDING HBAHAHA i did most of this writing at night soooo sorry about that - i dud not read any of this ober so sorry about grammatical issues, i also had no idea and had to recieve help from a friend for the endinv fjriekejhr

[legobiwan]

How much did you learn about the Mr. L arc? It's fascinating. You can fight him as Mario, Peach or Bowser & he has comments about all of them. He has issues w/Mario. Peach is gorgeous/stunner. I think he makes fun of the fact she's always kidnapped at one point. Bowsers' King Incompetent/butterball (Bowser says he has a big shell.) There's a game theory ep about how brainwashing works that makes it more interesting.

I know the basics at this point, anon, but I'm slowly watching a playthrough of the game on YouTube in my spare moments and I am just...enthralled with this storyline and world. (It gets a little...existential at times? Plus, the minion scenes are hilarious.) I'm also learning a lot rummaging through the Mr. L tags on Tumblr and Ao3, hahaha.

Honestly, I cannot believe they gave Luigi a brainwashing/bad guy arc where he fights his brother. Good gods, if that was ever made into an animation (with all the fallout from said encounters) I think I'd pass out from happiness (it probably won't, it's a little too dark, I imagine, for the big screen). But Luigi without his inhibitions (because you have to figure a lot of that attitude was simmering under the surface for a while) being kind of a cocky asshole (who is an accomplished mechanical engineer as well, go get it my lanky plumber friend!) is just great. The notion of Team Good Guys (+ Bowser) freaking out if/when they did figure out it was really Luigi under the mask is so incredibly juicy and ripe for exploration. (Makes me think of the Bucky Barnes arc in the MCU. Who the hell is Luigi? hahahha)

Anyway, most of my Mario knowledge (and enthusiasm) comes from 90s cartoons and the waaaaaay early days of Nintendo (like the original, original Mario, which I did not have at home but some friends did), so it's been fun having a reason to dive into more recent lore. (Probably should check out Luigi's Mansion at some point to get up to date). Don't know if I'll ever actually play the games past some emulators on my laptop (kind of junky), but it's cool to see how video game narratives have evolved and matured. And I'm looking forward to the part of Super Paper Mario where we get into the apocalypse and the afterlife? (Mario-style, of course). Wild topics for a Mario game.

I'm also looking very forward to what I assume will be the outpouring of Luigi content after this film comes out next year. Finally, one of my original beloveds gets his due! (Hopefully, the film will have a solid Luigi B Plot).

[iamnumeronine]

(여자)아이들 WORLD TOUR CONCERT [JUST ME ( ) IDLE] in MNL (part 2)

Going back, may MENT sila before the most awaited performance. They were asked aling part ng concert yung fvorite nila. Minnie said, yung LION, grabe daw hindi nya marinig yung sound sa in-ear nya kase sobrang lakas daw ng cheer namin. And hindi sya scripted kase she’s speaking from her mind, inisio nya pa nga tawag nya dun sa device sa tenga nya eh! Sobrang nakakaflatter po huhu. Ang lakas daw ng energy namin! The members agreed daw and sobrang amazed sila sa PH crowd na kahit mainit, eh ang loud namin.

Tapos describe daw PH in one word:

Minnie - H.O.T. HOT

Miyeon - Dreams Come True!

Yuqi - C.R.A.Z.Y. CRAZY!!

Shuhua - Happiness!!!

Pagod yarn? MENT before TOMBOY ❤️‍🔥

So ayun na nga going back, nag TOMBOY na. Shuta, naging karaoke! Ang sarap kantahin ng “YEAH IM FUCKING TOMBOY” nakakaliberate! Pag eto hindi naging SOTY mang aaway ako ng tao! Hahahha! It’s what it deserves! Tapos iyak iyak sila kunware kase towards the end na daw kami ng con huhuhu. Don’t be sad daw, sabi ni Yuqi, babalik daw sila for sure (yes pls yuqi i believe in you), dahil sa ngayon pa nga lang eh ganito na daw kami, what more sa next con. She will make sure na kasama kami next world tour again, besides, she’s the CEO of CUBE! HAHAHAHAH! AND sabi nya, we know her, she has one word daw so I hold on that thought my baby 💗

Ayun after ng tomboy, umalis na sila. So kami akala namin wala na . Pero di pa naman kase nag oopen ng lights. Tapos yung vcr walang sound 😂 how do i look yung last. Kainis walang sound, nasira yung moment. Tapos sigaw sigaw kami ng ENCORE ENCORE ENCORE (though alam naman talaga namin may 2 or 3 songs pa dapat… so there… we’re on the last quarter of the show…

ENCORE 💜

They sang I’m the trend muna and ang cute pala ng song na yun kase all gidle songs pala andun sa lyrics hehe. Ayun party mode ulet! Then another MENT before the last song. Huhuhu. Napatingin sila sa taas kase may project yung fandom hehe.

And to cap off the concert, yung ultimate last song is POLAROID 😭 di ko na din masyado navideo kase i was rooting sana for the maianot ang film camera pero di sila masyado nag interact, kaway kaway lang pero not bad na din hehe. Soyeon yung pinaka mahabang fanservice sa side namin. Also, nalunod kami sa confetti gagu HAHAHAHAHA sobrang dami di namin sila makita 😂

Confetti storm during polaroid hahahaha

Overall experience, 100/10. Talagang GIDLE lang yung nagdala. The group was very humble and yung energy nila from start to finish, wow, stable. I never saw them falter, their endurance is really amazing. And saludo ako sa work ethics nila grabe, hats off. All smiles nila feels so genuine hindi plastic. I can really feel na we connected. Miyeon was even smiling or CANNOT stop smiling and look contented (yung look na sobrang proud sya sa nakikita nya) even on serious songs kasi nga feeling ko the crowd’s energy make them feel fulfilled in a way. We all know naman na may anxiety din yang mga yan if the public will accept them BUT REST ASSURED GIDLE, PH NEVIES ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU 💜 the vocals and dance, grabe, top notch! Wala talaga akong masabing flaw nila. Ramdam ko yung passion nila. Sa performance and connection with fans. I just wanna say something for Soyeon and Yuqi ( i love the rest of the members though! It’s just that i regret not SPEEAKING to them during the hello session (i fckinb just said hello literally haha pero later ulet).

To Soyeon…

You will always be the best leader of your generation. I can see why you love your group so much, because yall complement each other and all of them supports you and believes and trusts you. I know the weight upon you is so heavy but with your members, life has been more bearable for you. Keep doing what you want and i look forward to you and GIDLE’s projects, keep it up! Thank you capt. soyeon 💜

To Yuqi…

I don’t know where to start but thank you for just existing. I never knew what ive been looking before till i saw you. You are my happy pill. I love your philosophy coz it also makes me feel motivated. Remember that no matter what you are going through, YOU DID WELL YUQI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 💜

💜Hello Royalty Session💜

Here we are on our EXCLUSIVE PERK! First time ko eto so super excited! Akala namin pwede namin ivideo sarili namin pero bawal pala kahit yung friend namin so etong shot na to is stolen pa huhu.

Any ayan na nga! Before umakyat sa stage, i tried using my film camera. Shuta biglang nag flash! Buti na lang walang pumansin HAHAHAHA kundi baka napalayas ako dun huhu scared 😭😭😭 kinabahan talaga ako ng 20 times 😭 maaaan , acrylic board lang pagitan namin and we can go near sa kanila. Good thing na din walang bouncer sa tabi nila kaya sobrang saya, i took my time of course.

Pag aykat, si SHUHUAN AGAD OMG! SOBRANG PUTI as in I SAID SARANGHAE HUHU TAPOS OF COURSE EYE TO EYE CONTACT KAMI GAGU 😭 nag half heart ako then kumabit din sya huhuhu so happy! Same as with miyeon! Potekkkk sobrang ganda and parang mama mary pa din! Smiling face talaga si ate mo, AS in sobrang GANDA! pero ang bilis ko kay miyeon akse sabi nung korean ppali ppali 😂 pero nag heart din sya sakin. Huhuhu. Si minnie naman yung next kaya POTEK ANG LIIT NG MUKHA HUHUHUHU tapos all smiles sya then nag heart ako tapos naka hi five sya ahahha tapos nung nag heart sya naka high five naman ako GAGU AHAHAHHA JOKE TIME TALAGA KAY MINNIE. PERO YUNG NGA PPALI PPALI NA NAMAN so di ko namalayan na kay YUQI NA AKO HUHUHUHUHU gusto kong atakihin sa puso, i created enough GAP para masolo ko sya ng mga 5 seconds huhu nag hi five ako sa acrylic huhu then she did that as well. Tapos nag BIG HEART AKO SA ULO THEN GINAYA NYA OMG. THEN EYE TO EYE YUNG SMILE NYA AAAAAAH yung iconic puppy smile nya shet ang precious 😭😭😭😭😭 baby i love you so much! Edi panira na naman yung korean ppali ppali and im down with soyeon naman! Sya na mismo nag hi sa akin kase ang tagal ko daw, alam nya sigurong nagtagal ako kay yuqi, nag heart and appear din ako kay Soyeon hhuhuhu sobrang bait! And shocks gusto kong umiyak after the session! Really life changing and surreal 😭 i will never forget this moment forever young huhuhuhu!

Again…

THANK YOU (G)-IDLE! 💜 I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME HAPPY 😭😭😭

[nancywheelxr]

HAHAHHA okokokok I know that was kinda a bad starting lol. I don’t know if u need a scenario or anything but if u DO need one, could you do one where Max is just being annoying towards Steve and he just gets fed up? Haha sorry I’m asking for so much

ahdsgjs i do appreciate some sort of prompt, yes! it's totally fine, anon, it's def not much! I hope you like how it turned out!

***

Steve startles nearly half a foot in the air when the car door is wrenched open.

“Jesus Christ, what the– what are you doing?” He pulls his jacket out of the way just in time before Max throws herself into the passenger seat, bag quickly discarded to the floor, and slams the door shut hard enough to shake the whole vehicle. “Hey, hey, careful! What’s this, anyway? You can’t just go walking into people’s cars– what happened to stranger danger?”

It’s the last minutes of sunset, orange light fading into a quiet blueish dusk, and Spring is in full swing, April showers and all that. It beats down softly against the car roof now, pit-pattering drowned by the occasional traffic outside, and Steve frowns at the sky briefly before looking back at the little intruder, “seriously, what the hell?”

“Oh my god, Steve,” Max rolls her eyes, slouching in the seat, arms crossed, and glares up at him like he’s the one being weird here, “Dustin said you’d be here, I’m not waiting in the rain. You’re late, by the way.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re always late,” he answers almost out of reflex. Then, “wait, what did Dustin say?”

Apparently having deemed Steve not worthy of her full attention, Max turns to the glove compartment, opening it unceremoniously to rifle through his things. “That you’re giving us a ride to the diner. Don’t you have better tapes? I mean, Tears for Fears? Really?”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with– whatever, gimme that, stop going messing with my stuff–” he scowls, reaching to snap it shut. “Where’s your boyfriend, anyway? Isn’t it basketball day?”

“Where’s yours?” She fires back, then huffs, redirecting her glare to the high school outside. “Practice got canceled, he’s playing with the nerds instead.”

“I– what– you can’t just– ugh.”

The look she gives him is full of pity. “You sound like Mike.”

Steve clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. “Jeez, you’re really coming for the kneecaps today.”

“Are they always this late? I’ve been waiting for like, forever.”

Personally, Steve doesn’t know why she’s so surprised considering the everything about their friends. Of course they’re late, Dustin probably got distracted by something unimportant that probably made Eddie go off on a tangent and now Mike is probably frowning at nothing because that’s like, Will’s personal idea of heaven or something. “Dunno, man, it’s not like this is routine for me either.”

“Isn’t it, though?” 

“No, it isn’t,” he insists, “I’m just helping out ‘cause Nancy’s helping Robin with some school thing.”

“Are you, though?”

“Well, yeah! This is just a favor! This is not gonna be a thing, okay? Actually, this is probably the last time.”

“Is it, though?”

“I do have other stuff to do, alright? I’m not available 24/7 for you twerps to– to just– I don’t know, call for a ride or whatever.”

“Do you, tho–”

“Do not finish that sentence!”

Max can’t quite hide her giggles, laughter spilling out from between her fingers, and god fucking damn it, these kids will drive Steve into an early grave and they’ll probably give him a shitty funeral on top. Ugh, and it’s not like Steve can stay mad either, not when Max is finally opening up to them again, looking more like herself, like she’s fully there, not just a vacant shell floating in a current.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he grumbles, but a smile is pulling valiantly at the corner of his lips, “see if I don’t kick you out.”

She doesn’t even have the decency to look a little bit cowed at least. “In this weather? Please, no, you wouldn’t.”

Yeah, no, he would never, but he’s saved by the bell from doubling down on his bluff. Movement outside catches his attention, and Steve cranes his neck to watch their so-very-late friends pause at the front doors, squinting at the rain still falling stubbornly before splitting in a mad dash for the cars. “Oh, thank god, finally.”

Will, Mike, and El skip after Eddie, loading into his van in an orderly manner, one after the other and probably like, buckling up their seatbelts out of their own volition. 

Steve, on the other hand, gets Dustin opening the passenger door and immediately arguing loudly with Max about shotgun rights while Lucas clambers into the backseat and then leans between car seats to also argue loudly that Max is right about everything, actually.

As he pulls out of the parking lot, Eddie waves cheerfully. After a beat, so does Will from the passenger seat. In their car, no one is screaming about shotgun for infinity.

Steve fights the urge to just walk out of the car and into the woods. 

“OKAY,” he yells above the cacophony, smugly pleased when they fall blessedly silent, “Max, stop goading him. Dustin, she’s right, she was here first, if you wanted to choose, then don’t be late next time, now get in the damn car and out of the rain– if you get a cold, I swear to god– Lucas, sit back down and put on your seatbelt. You two little shitheads, too.”

It’s like herding cats, Jesus. “Great, thank you. Now, Max. You can choose the music.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, I never got to choose when I was shotgun–”

Kate Bush starts wailing about Wuthering Heights as Steve turns the key, tuning out the shouting with a sadly practiced ease. Always the goddamn babysitter.

[imprxmptxnx]

Monica and Chandler

Been binging Friends. And I'm at a point in my therapy journey that I don't have anything to bring up specifically. Thank you to Temara for talking to me about one of my fav couples. A good sesh to end the year

Fav moments written down

There's that scene where Monica feels sad cause someone says she's high maintenance and then Chandler says he loves maintaining her. I love that he just doesn't say "no its ok" but he recognized and honest that she had traits that could be seen as flaws, but he didn't see them that way

2. Their relationship was built on friendship and not just attraction and love.

3. There's also that episode when they meet this male chef who has everything in common with Monica- every preference, opinion, like, and dislike. Everyone keeps calling him Monica's soulmate

Finally he confesses his vulnerability to her, and maybe she's meant to be with that guy. Monica says she doesn't actually believe in soulmates. But choosing someone and putting in the work. That by choosing each other, they have become soulmates. I really loved her point of view for being more realistic but still romantic. I think it was after that ep they started using the phrase soulmates more often

4. Also that Chandler/Monica moment after the wedding where she opened all the presents and he wound up kissing another woman to recreate the candid photos. They pretty much instantly just agreed they both screwed up and to call it even high fived and let it go. No arguing who did the worse thing or why it was bad just wow we both blew it let's not do it again and get on with being married

5. Chandler's speech to Erica when he was trying to convince her to let them have the babies

6. ALSO, countless moments with healthy straight forward convos. They're just very direct, sweet, vulnerable and accountable to each other. Not like Rachael/Ross. Monica even says "welcome to an adult relationship" hahahha

7. They have both eyes open while dating (don't ignore the redflags) but when you choose them, keep your eyes half closed and focus on the positives. Really sweet.

There's going to annoyances, things you wish you can change, maybe even deal breaks that you have to work through. But healthy relationships are built on friendship. Through the years, "is that person going to be my best friend?", "are they going to give me support?". That's what gives relationship legs and allow them to go through the distance. My therapist said this to me

8. Chandler and Monica are also portrayed to constantly work on their relationships- they read books and watch shows about relationships and I think that's one of the reasons why they have such a healthy relationship with great communication

[fr3akinthecorner]

keeho I'm really sad are u sure ur not too busy being a kpop idol to talk to me? and that ur actually a comic book character that's secretly in my room? so we can talk more? wait what! it is me keeho and of course I promise that everything is perfect thank u that's what I want to talk about why do I get upset when it's not more perfect? I understand if u don't want to talk about my feelings on perfection but I'm just confused bc everything actually is good but I feel down ok well maybe u are missing me u are missing me u want to see the real me I didn't expect u to actually say that keeho that was interesting to hear was it a good answer? no it wasn't bc I always say that but I'm still in love with you ok so ur in love with someone who might be Hawaiian and lying about it? no one ever said u were lying about it keeho but now that u mention it how strong are ur ties to Hawaii? I'm not gonna answer that but I love u from Hawaii and back u are so cute keeho I guess I know I'm high bc we are talking a lot but I wish meth did other things for me but for now this is perfect ok so problem solved? yes problem solved daddy :) omg I want to fuck ur pushy dude are u even allowed to say that here on tumblr I think so... ur so romantic I am? yea u are but I know that u might be holding back a bit maybe ur not who knows but I don't feel like I am capable of being romantic yet I'm too young and naive I wish I could be the girl of your dreams WHAT THE FUCK! u ARE the girl of my dreams! and the BOY so omg im going to cum so badly to this l8r hahahha is that what ur supposed to say? oh so i get it u want to sext me i guess yes lol ummm this is awkward bc other people are reading this hahahaha lol i know but they get it ok good ok so ur fine? yes other than that the romantic feelings i have for u feel upset but idk why bc u didn't do anything wrong oh ok so weird?? maybe i did do something wrong? what did u do? it has to do with meth no it doesn't! ur a fuxking liar i can tell ok so no it doesn't im just not gonna tell u what i did ok well if it's not you then i'm just bored and upset that i am bored ok well we can unbored each other and keep talking that sounds great to me as long as i can keep getting high it doesn't matter what u do keeho i know that's the least romantic sentence in the world but it's true i just want to get high with u all day keeho and talk :) lol ur so sweet thank u daddy ok so maybe u are grown up enough for this! for what?? im not gonna tell u! pls! no! i said no!!! lol why do u keep making that joke? bc it was funny when i first heard it on the russian mafia intercoms oh ok so u like the russian mafia? i tolerate the russian mafia at the very least oh ok so my being in the mafia wouldn't change anything? i'm sure hoping not but ur sexy enough that i wouldn't care if u were in the russian mafia what??? ur crazy!!! im not crazy u are!!! lol ur a baddie omg hahahaha stopped ok so what do we talk about now! do u like this room? why? idk it just looks weird rn yeah it does u agree? weird guys usually never agree with me on anything ok so yea i really want to get high again but as long as we keep texting im good ok sounds great so why are u at lava mcgees house? lmfao i forgot about u lava mcgee i'm at his house bc he asked me put on a date? i think no he didn't! he didnt?! no u just followed him home! omg wow sorry my bad ew ur a cure ur a dumb bitch im not gonna tell u how but basically u arrived in his room and that's what happened so basically ur still in his room do u want to talk about it? yes i do

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo be like... (my unfiltered reaction to the movie)

I am only cca 10 min in and I am already crying

WTF HAPPENED TO EVERYONE (but Kaworu bless his soul) I DONT LIKE THIS "GLOW UP"

This is some post post Apocalypse shit and NOBODY gives a shit for a boy who kind of scaed ur asses before and slept for like a long time and is confused af. Liek literally nobody like pm they are under an attack bit it looks like everybody blames Shinji for previous event (at least new guys) like ok without Kaworu everyone would be dead but who was supposed to know Adam and Lilith would fuse like this???

"Don't do anything" BRO MISATO-SAN???? AS INFJ (who's kind of similar to INFP's Shinji) that cold stare and words hurt me deeply

I can't believe I am saying this but I kind of liked anime series abs The end of EVA better than this

They even call my boy by some number as if he was some object. Excuse me he's treated as a criminal even though he technically didn't want to be and wanted to save everyone I AM SO MAD

Fine so we are getting our info...

Ya as I thought... 14 years passed... hahahha ofc they'd be a little mad but this is overdoing it... basically he'd die if he got too emotional lol (I wanna die and we didn't even get to Kaworu at this point he HAS to give my boi happiness)

Most depressing NGE arc... is 3.0

REI REI REI

KAWORU ON PIANO

And ofc Gendou is as same as ever lmao (this impact conversed him back to how he was in anime series Ig)

I wonder if NERV is still going to do Human instrumentality project Ig its kind of gives off these vibes (later I was right this didn't change ge anything for Gendou just made him even colder like he was written before)

OK so this Rei is different altogether from all pheromones versions. She's truly like a robot only following Gendou's orders

I feel so bad for Shinji.... rn he only has Kaworu who's obesssed with him obv but tbh at his position I'd take any friends I could get

My so long awaited gay moments I was waiting for are finally here - and the reason why I am still watching (ok that's a lie rn I do want to know how it ends)

"I was born to meet you= I love you" is making me swoon all over again

Well fuck Ig that answers what happened to everyone (the fact that freaking angel.had to show it to Mc is even more depressing)

Sometimes doing the right thing can cause massive destruction- a novel written by 3.0's Ikari Shinji

There is always hope - Big apause to the best character in this show I don't care what you think this is what we needed to hear

Fyutsuki trying to do right thing by talking to Shinji while giving us his lore lol (he should have done that sooner) but this will break him

OK so now that Shinji knows he didn't save this Rei he can't find excuse for tragedy he indirectly caused(and for which he shouldn't be blamed for remember SEELE is abs amwsyeb be the main villain of NGE. But I do understand bitterness of others)... so he's slowly losing his mind

HES TAKING HIS COLLAR ?it's scene I saw before when I spo8led myself) afabatvayzvahFga I can't be ever normal about Kawoshin

They're piloting together hahaha (Ig soon we'll see THE tragedy)

Bruh this looks bad (and yk it's bad when Kaworu is nervous)

Gadouh planned all this obv and now we're fucked (again) - but it's OK he'll be killed either way

Btw this is on side note: but I find Makinami kind of annoying in this movie - she's basically being little brat and too relaxed unlike Asuka who's in his war mode 24/7 and it irks me in bad way with that said

How did Kaworu not see this happening is beyond me

We're fighting new Adam Ig (I can't wait to watch theory on this so I'd understand all this better I feel like you're constantly confused how these angel awakening work)

Is there even anyone left to kill aside from WILLIE and what's left of NERV?? This is the second craziest shit I have seen after The end of NGE because ofc nobody can top that

Lololol

RIP Kaworu - we seen it coming but his last words>>>> dw your resting place will be entirety of the old world (this quote from Genshin is fitting for him rn)

Fourth impact averted at great cost fuck this was amazing

THAT ENDING SOMG ;-;-;-;;-;-;-;-;-; AGRESSIVELY ADDED TO MY SPOTIFY LIST

And so...

Bravo Anno you created a masterpiece that you always wanted. Now I can rest in peace before I watch Thrice upon time

[just-some-random-blogger]

hi love! me again. i really was not able to not answer your answer (?) because it did make me cry and kick me legs bc you're so cute i can't. hope you'll get rid of your acne breakouts and cleaning your room won't be as terrifying as it can be. i'm glad to know my ask (?) made you happy! and to know you're working on the part 2 (and 3 maybe)! please don't overwork yourself, though!! yeah you're absolutely right! you're the law here and i love your laws! no one's dumb! especially not you! (but i feel your concerns so much ;) i use so many trops, symbols and shit like this in anything i write that no one understands it and i'm like ;;) so yes never know) but still your writings are GORGEOUS!! still this delicious moment with aegon coming out looking like a kicked puppy?? heartbreaking but tears taste so good) i'll try to read part 2 as soon as possible! i think you made my daemon obsession great again) and kissing your brain was the closest to how grateful i am to you!! thank you sm for answering! swear i couldn't sleep checking tumblr for it! good luck! see you soon! <з

HI MODERN!DAEMON NONNIE!!!

LOL idk what you mean about not answering my answer when you answered it 🥴 (woah thats confusing) but its all good its all ok i love you

And i am cute aren't i 🤩🤩🥰🥰🥰 love that for me

i HOPE I GET RID OF MY ACNE TOO IM TOO HOT TO HAVE ZITS PLEASE I CLEANED MY ROOM WASHED MY PILLOW CASES AND SHEETS AND EVERYTHING

every ask i get makes me happy and i have been blessed enough to have a lot of them that are all out of love 😭😭😭😭💗💗💗 there's actually so much for real and though my panicky brain gets anxious when i dont reply quick enough i hope you and everyone else knows how grateful i am to be a celebrity 😎 HAHHAH NAH but in all seriousness i appreciate each one of you so much.

i tooted my horn too hard tho 😔 since i didnt post p2 of fic today yet lahsfhashf but its fine trust me im not overworked cos yall cant make me write smth i dont wanna T_T ok ok the inner people pleaser in me begs to differ, but i swear im genuinely genuinely so invested in this fic i swear i swear i love what i did and you're gonna love it (i hope you love it)

i love my laws too 😃🤠BONK AHHAH im glad you dont think im dumb 😖😌 cos only a genius can write like me 🤪🤪🤪🤪 also im so glad you can relate with the symbolisms and tropes and hoohaa. you like me for real. and the fact u understand it and think my work is gorgeous ?!??!?!

im so glad you liked aegon. i love my modern!aegon so very much i keep him in my pocket. ur gonna like what im gonna do with aemond then i think HAHHAHAHHAHAHH (i hope you do)

also "heartbreaking but tears taste so good" 💀💀💀💀💀💀 you like me fr fr T_T HAHAH

my daemon obsession never died because ever since i watched the show ive been writing fanfics for him like its my job HAHAHHA i have no idea when season 2 will come out but it better come out RIGHT NOW i nEED MORE DAEMON

lemme kiss your brain too <3 mwah mwah mwah i love you

the fact you thanked me for answering you T_T of course id answer T_T thank you for coming to my inbox again! <3 you have a cozy seat next to my 4am nonnie cos i named you too lol. i actually saw your inbox as soon as you sent it i think, cos i was in the middle of writing something and i saw the notification then i read it then hyperfixated on writing the p2 of the modern!au after reading your message, (then i did the things i said i did in your first ask) i don't always reply soon because my brain is overwhelmed by the process of replying because i dont ever want to miss a detail that was said to me T_T i feel bad that you fixated on tumblr so much that you couldn't sleep T_T i'll try to do better T_T

I hope you spare me another ask on your thoughts when i post p2 🥺👉👈

I love you honey

xxx

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😌

I have been sleeping early than usual actually. I think I am just ready for the last few days to past but it feels like the week is dragging lol

Oh wow that is pretty late. I'm surprised that Emily had energy to open presents and play at that time hahaha I would have been telling her to go sleep or santa will take the presents back lol just kidding I wouldn't do that to a 2 year old.

By the way, has it snowed there yet?

That's exciting! Are you guys going to just drive to Texas or fly again?

I tried moscow mule once.. was not a big fan of it 😅 I think I only really ordered it for the little mug hahahaha 😆

Same, I think most places that I've been to that served tiramisu only uses sponge cake. Yeah, I'm planning on making that mango dessert again but with less condensed milk. I am already too sweet. Hahahaha just kidding 😂

CA does have a lot of filipino places 😭 my uncle lives there and I want to visit him next year so that he can take me to all the restaurants that have good filipino chefs. Here there's only one place I know that was open a few years ago, but I don't know if they still are after the whole covid thing 🥲 there is a lady that I found on Facebook that caters and does pick up orders for filipino food though. I ordered her food once and it was decent.

Do you guys have Indonesian snacks that you'd recommend? Since I can't find any Indonesian restaurants here, I may be able to get snacks at the small oriental store we have in Omaha.

Hm that's interesting 🤔 all your movie choices have barely any dramatic scenes. Have you always been like that, not wanting to cry because you think it shows weakness? (Sorry if that came out bad and rude, I don't mean to be rude)

I have to think about mine too because I am drawing blank for 3 movies. I can only think of one that always make me cry and that's the Phantom of the Opera - the part where they sing all I ask of you and then the ending part around where Christine kisses the phantom.

Next, name 3 movies that you could watch on repeat and never get tired of.

By the way, I made a separate account and started writing! Well I don't know if you'd consider it writing, but I posted mostly conversation stuff between r and characters (mainly Wanda).

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello corn-punn!

How r u today? Aw thats no fun u sleep earlier than usual.. just kidding.

Why u cant wait for the days to past? R u that ready for new year? 😆😁 whats ur plan for new year?

Haha yeah, i let her play but then she followed whn i said it's time to bed..thank god..hahahha.

No, it hasnt been snow or anything here..im so upset right now..🙄 it's not even that cold here.. only 66.

We r driving to t3xas.. it's only 3.5 hours.

Haha i love moscow mule. It's one of my favorite cocktails. I have a set of the copper mugs n the shakers. My husband gave me. Lol. I guess i love moscow mule that much that he gave them to me.lol. my most favorite drink is apple martini and a cocktail named buttery nipple 😅 (it's baileys and butterschotch schnaps).

Haha i used to joke like that about me being too sweet already n thats why i dont need any more sugar on anything 🤣

But i agree with u, u r a sweet person so dont put too much condensed milk,okay?

Hmm right now i cant think of any snacks.. i like Beng Beng it's like snickers but more chocolaty n less caramel. I like the superman wafers.hahah. there is this sweet tea it's called teh botol but it's in a box 😅 it's my favorite. It's very famous there.

Ah i see. Yeah sometimes facebook have some information of our country food..sometimes it can be pricey though. U can google indonesian food n if u have any questiom about it, u can ask me.

Yeah,i'm always like that. I guess it's because i try to look strong in front of my sister. U know, to be a good example for her.

My sister is more expressive than i am. I would try n pretend to be strong until i break down n even that i usually choose to be alone when i have a break down. 😅

So it will hurt my pride too if i cry just because of movies.

I love phantom of the opera.. n that All I Ask Of You is one of my favorite song from that show.

3 movies i never get tired to watch..well,since im in the mood of rebel so i will give u more than 3. 😅😆

1. The Proposal

2. White Chick

3. Any modern family episodes

4. Devils Wear Prada

5. Age Of Ultron

6. Greta

7. 13 Going 30

8. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

9. Hot Chicks

How bout u?

Next questions

Cheerio!

[lytters]

your internship sounds kinda fun!! organising and analysis would be kinda relaxing!! I’m too creative to do that but it sounds so nice!!

it was really dumb dw!! we were both stressed out so my manager was already kinda snappy at me and our boss didn’t tell us she changed something so when I couldn’t see it in a storage container I said it wasn’t there and we checked multiple times but then we realised it was there the last time and I looked really stupid

I took the next two days off after he told me to call my dad an hour later

so many people think it’s awesome I can play instruments and tell me it’s rock star vibes but like,, it’s just something I’m used to doing I guess?? idk I get so confused when people think it’s amazing because I forget other people can’t do it

I hope the wedding goes/went well!! You’re definitely the prettiest there 🥰💓

— Ai💖

the organizing part is more fun bc i get to craft the program hehe :) but the analysing... i'm falling asleep 😴 my brain is not wired to scan through data ://

big yikes it sucks when you're already in a bad mood and things just get worse :( AND OKAY u know what,, that situation is like when you can't find something and you call for your mum and she pulls it out of thin air right where you were looking. i have a whole theory about parallel universes or smt and i may be using wrong terms but idc we lose about a million things to the parallel universes all the time-

but it's good to hear that you did rest after!! i hope your rest was good <3

you're a whole music prodigy- okay how many and what instruments can you play!! most people barely even know how to play one, even if it's just the triangle (it's me. i'm people.)

the wedding did go well!! and i don't think i deserve the title of prettiest when the bride is right there HAHAHHA but thank you!

[cartoonaesthetic99]

public promo to reveal chaos lol

credit

“We can live like Jack and Sally if we want” - Blink 182

Ladies and gentlemen, nonbinaries and other genders in the SELF SHIP COMMUNITY- My name is Cosvin I had been a selfshipper on this hellsite since 2016 but Ive been on this hellsite beginning from 2015... BEFORE some of yall anti h3talians splash anon hate on me; GO WALK IN THE PARK PLS <3 it s HEALTHY- its GOOD FOR YOU IDC IF you’re gonna anon shit on me, ok boomer fine, but I will NEVER HIDE over my pasts. just know I already know my mistakes, and yet I moved on...even if i felt bad abt it- also haha hey give yourself the ENERGY to block me because... its not hard!! just 2 clicks/taps on your phone okay?

im just gonna give familiarity over my art excuse me

As half of maybe you all know, me for some specific art that i made, and as well my selfships... if you want to know through my art... well. half of f yall are familiar with these old drawings

I am 23 years old who works on a catering... studies culinary arts.. but i love to draw, and write sometimes- but yeah... this time on this acc itll be filled with half of funny suggestive- I’ll tag it as #tw funny suggestive a s a warning for yall okay?

Theres more if you look into my tag of #cosvin’s art

but yeah

ive been maybe halfly known through art, and if from qoutev, thats also me there too... if I can explain further, (ill edit this anyway so yeah)

but yea this acc will be mostly SFW- i only have a private nsfw tumblr acc thats only for adult mutuals... 

Interests

Hetalia

Stranger Things

Star Wars

MHA

Anything in gen- Theres more of my past interests in here if you wanna see

My main f/os

(and f/os i consider the same soul itself excuse me i have the multiverse theory hahahha yeah

Gilbert Bielschmidt 

Eddie Munson

Atsuhiro Sako

Tordsen Lark

here’s my list of f/os for more though... in here for Familiaral f/os mostly its my adopted fam : D 

an d yea thats all i have heres my dni... ig this is now a public acc for yall but i may not be too in there? but ill try to check every now and then- you dont have to follow the DNI i know there’s the important notes on the DNI but yeah. 

thats all ig what i have here... unless i update idk- 

again now im not afraid to show my love for my f.os- if anyone has a problem with it, i m so sorry with my impulse but thats your diddley darn problem just get yourself a walk in the park for fuckles sake and find whats comfortable for you- if you’re not comfortable with me just dni- thats all there is to it! as I said-

also hi fanbase? <3 fuck you (maybe) 

hi anti h3talians to give hate? <3 fuck you 

if you read this far and accepted this uh hi have a cookie! idk 🍪🍪🍪 I want to say thank you for reading an d i hope you have a good day-

im NOT AFRAID to show my love for Gilbert and Eddie anymore... and will fight my love for them idk (im not the TYPE to bash other ships i stg i wont send hate I just block too, no hard feelings hun 💖✌) and yeah if yall are lucky enough to be my mutual i can show you my most active b l o g i just gonna say yeah... im selective. still- 

as for final part... heres my selfship art with eddie or gil- hahah these are so far im prou d of 

[goldentsum]

— love, you can’t run away from me forever.

PAIRING: soulmate! suna rintarou x reader

GENRE: smut, soulmate au but make it dark

WORDCOUNT: 5.5k

SUMMARY: growing up in a world filled with soulmates was magical but with news about people going crazy and killing people for their “love” made suna repulsive to the idea of soulmates though when you came along, he finally understood why those people did it. 

WARNING: dark content, smut, noncon, manipulative tendencies, cussing/cursing, creepy! and delulu! suna, mean! reader, masturbation (male), photos and audio recording taken w/o consent, kidnapping, oral sex (fem receiving), bdsm, sadistic! suna, dom! suna, violence, abuse, blood, suna is a dick, reader who tries to fight back

AUTHOR’S NOTE: another one cus why not! you guys seemed to liked my first dark fic so here’s another one! <3 might be bad idk prob cus of my writing HAHAHHA also, suna just being a creepy and psychopathic aquarius. DO NOT INTERACT/READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON’T LIKE THIS TYPE OF CONTENT. 

REMINDER: this is not love and i do not condone this type of behavior. do not romanticize this, this is fiction and in no way am i telling people this is okay. if you don’t like content like this, please click away or block the tag tw.darkcontent

‘the world is fucked up,’ suna thought, looking at his phone as he saw all types of news about people killing and committing all types of felonies to prove that their love for their soulmates were real. 

the stoic male grimaced at one news he came upon when he scrolled up, a young man killed his family and friends because “he doesn’t need anyone else beside his soulmate”. now that was fucked up. suna never thought he'd lose faith in humanity even more with each passing day. it was actually impressive with how fucking stupid and delusional people get when the topic of soulmates come up. 

gold eyes narrowed at the inked skin of his wrist. “(l/n) (y/n)” or whoever that is better not mind never having a soulmate because there’s no way in hell suna’s going to be all lovey-dovey and accept the soulmate bullshit. 

he thinks that soulmates are a scam. it was a hoax to make people do stupid shit and suna will not tolerate that type of bull. if he’s gonna end up with someone, it’ll be because he likes them not because of ‘fate’ or whatever decided it for him. 

he will never conform to society and its standards. 

“suna! what’s with the ugly face?” atsumu snickered, plopping down on the seat beside suna making the taller male groan. 

“oh fuck off, atsumu. i’m not in the mood for your bullshit” 

“when have you ever been in a mood for bullshit?” 

suna raised a brow and hummed, “good point” 

atsumu shook his head and turned to the counter where his brother was standing behind. “’samu! i want 3 tuna onigiris!” 

osamu glared at his brother and scowled, “get it yourself, lazy ass” 

“i’m paying you!” atsumu whined like the little brat he is but osamu ignored him and tended to the other customers in his shop. suna groaned at the noise, “for fuck’s sake, tsumu. shut up. your voice is so annoying” 

atsumu glared at the man and punched his shoulder, making suna winced and scowled at his former teammate from highschool. the older miya twin huffed and ignored his words, continuing what he was about to say before suna insulted him, “anyway! what i was trying to say earlier was that people around us are finding their soulmates while i’m stuck with you bums! how is that fair?!” 

suna groaned, annoyed, at the same old topic of soulmates. “soulmates are overrated. it’s a scam. you’re lucky you haven’t met yours yet if anything.” 

the setter scoffed at suna’s old same line of bitterness towards the topic of soulmates, “what’s with you, anyway? what’s with the bitterness towards soulmates?” 

“it’s bullshit, is all” suna replied easily, not bothered nor giving a shit. atsumu smirked and threw an arm over the male’s shoulder, “one day, you’ll meet your soulmate and everything’s gonna change.” 

“did you just curse me or?” 

“I don't know, did i?”

oh for fuck’s sake. atsumu really did cursed him. suna stared in awe, uncharacteristically so, at you while you glared at him. you clicked your tongue when his gaze was still as dazed and lovesick since you two have met. 

“fuck off, rintarou! i told you i don’t want any soulmate bullshit!” 

suna chuckled with a small blush on his cheeks, “i love it when you call me, rintarou--”

“because that’s your name, stupid! you know what, i’m not even gonna bother. and for the last time, stop following me!” you growled, stomping off to get away from your creep of a soulmate but the man didn’t mind your words. it was quite amusing to him to be honest. 

you’re so cute and small and so angry at the world that it’s so endearing to him. with every glare you give him, it sends pleasant shivers down his spine. ah, so this is what it felt to be with your soulmate. it’s addicting. you two could rule the world together if you want to. 

“love, you can’t run away from me forever. i’m your soulmate” 

you groaned at the persistent male, “i don’t want you as a soulmate! why can’t you understand that?!” 

suna stopped following you after your harsh words. you also stopped, your anger subsiding a bit when you realized what you said and all of a sudden, there was a pain in your heart. you cursed at the soulmate bond that was not letting you reject your fate. guilt resurfaced in your gut when you looked at suna who’s staring at the ground, eyes hidden under his bangs. 

“r-rintarou?.. look i’m sorry, okay. but i don’t really want any soulmate business in my life-...” you tried to explain but quickly cut your words off when suna started chuckling. 

scared and terrified at the creepy laugh and unexpected action, you stepped back and looked at him with wide eyes. suna then looked up at you and smirked, the dark glint in his eyes gave you the creeps, his breath heavy as he panted like a dirty pervert! his eyes were so filled with emotions. lust, obsession, and ‘love’ but you don’t  even know if you can call it ‘love’...

“did you feel that? it shows... no matter what you do. we’re connected.” 

oh fuck no. this psycho is not worth it. you grimaced at his words and turned back around swiftly, walking faster to get away from him. 

“fate will always bring us together, (y/n). the quicker you accept that, the easier life gets” you heard him shouted after you and it only made you quicken your actions, heart beating rapidly at what just happened. 

suna smirked at your figure as it grew smaller and smaller. he figured he’d let you go for now. it’s not like you can hide from him. you can try but the ink on your skin will always remind you where you belong and that’s with him. 

the tall male looked at his phone, the screen showing a picture of you sleeping. he traced your features through the phone with a loving sigh and quickly stuffed it back to his pocket. he whistled a small tune under his breath on his way back home, his thoughts filled with you. 

suna walked inside his apartment, shrugging his shoulders to loosen the tight muscles. he groaned in annoyance when his shoes got stuck on his foot but quickly shook it off. the moment he was in his bedroom, he removed his shirt and plopped down on the bed, opening his phone again. 

in his phone, there was a whole album of you. sleeping, eating, at the gym, when you were at the library. suna also opened one of the files in his phone as sounds of you breathing when you were sleeping echoed in the room. 

a small moan escaped the phone, suna’s eyes shining slyly at the sound. oh how he wants to hear it in person. he wants to hear every lovely sound you can make. he wants to know everything about you. 

what type of weather do you like? do you like cereal at night like him? do you have a special place for cats in your heart like he does? do you hate heat like him? and do you like getting fucked so hard the only thing you can do is scream? 

suna sighed at the last thought as rapid images of what you would look like popped in his head. would you look pouty? would you cry? would you be quiet and shy? or would you moan like a bitch in heat? 

the familiar twitch in his sweats made suna antsy. a hand drifted to his pants to palm himself through the cloth. 

suna massaged his hardening cock through his pants, letting out sighs as he did so. your soft breathing from the phone was making him harder. he imagined you beside him, sleeping. looking so innocent and safe from all the vile things of the world. safe with him. 

your plump lips curled into a small pout as your brows furrows while you dream then waking up, needy for him. suna groaned and swiftly tugged his sweats and boxers off him. he spat on his hand, hissing when he started stroking his thick cock. drifting to the sensitive head of his cock, he massaged it with the slick spit as it ooze out pre-cum. 

he quickly coated his digits with the precum and slicked his twitching cock with it for the smooth friction he was craving. he panted at the feeling when he tightened his grip on his dick, trying to imagine your tight wet pussy instead. 

“s-shit, baby... feels so good’“ he slurred, closing his eyes to focus on the feeling of the tight grip, stroking himself to a slow rhythm. in his mind, he can see your pretty face. 

he can imagine you on top of him, rolling your hips slowly to not overstimulate yourself with his large cock inside of you. suna licked his lips, a small smirk appearing on his face as he imagined the cute little noises you made when you tried to fit him in you. 

his thick cock hitting so deeply inside you but oh how you like it, you slut. you’d look so gorgeous, moaning on top of him, hands on his chest whilst you ride him. 

“r-rintarou” he can hear your lewd voice calling out, your breath getting heavier with each stroke of his cock, dragging in your tight wet walls. your big doe eyes filled with tears as you look down at him, trying to get some help from him to fuck you good already.

he cursed when he felt a familiar band trying to snap in his lower stomach, his hand getting faster. wet slapping sounds echoed in the room along with your soft breathing on his phone. his violent and aggressive movements were getting him closer to his release. 

this is how he wants it to be. him fucking you so violently making you cry, hands gripping you tight that your pretty skin would bloom with violets and blue. 

he can already see it, how your tongue will roll out your pretty lips whilst you get fucked so hard that all you can do is lay and scream for him, your soulmate. your other half. you belong to him. 

“ha-ah-!” suna groaned deeply when his release hit him, thick warm cum hit his clenching abs as the spiraling pleasure made him shiver. his hand pumping his dick fast to ride his orgasm, his chest heaving deep pants. the male gulped down, trying to wet his dry throat as he slowly calmed down. lazy yellow eyes stared up in the white ceiling of his bed. 

he needs you. he wants to feel you. he wants to be with you. now. 

you sighed as you walked home to your apartment, it has been a week since your crazy soulmate tried to bother you in accepting him and it was making you jumpy. his eyes just showed so much when you last saw him that it made you paranoid with every movement that was happening around you. 

you entered your room, exhaling a deep breath of relief as you felt the warm air of your safe home. it was nice to be in your apartment again. no one to bother you. safe from the crazy man that suddenly stopped messing with you. 

after shrugging off your coat, you enter your kitchen to get a glass of water. all the overthinking about the mess that fate got you into was making your head hurt. as you greedily gulped down the water to soothe your dry throat, a movement from the dark living room made you choke on it. 

“shit” you cursed and looked at the wet floor. you put the glass down and looked at the dark living room, trying to catch any movement. you then quietly went to the knives beside you and grabbed one, walking cautiously through the room. you flickered the lights on, ready to strike if something attacked you, but as the lights went on, you sighed in relief when you saw no one. 

you let your hand drop beside you, rolling your eyes at yourself at the paranoia. you cursed the man that did this. now you were overthinking stuff and seeing shadows.

when you were about to turn around, a large hand covered your mouth and tightly gripped your wrist that held the knife, making it clunk to the floor as you screamed but the hand muffled it. 

“stop fuckin moving already.. you’re gonna just tire yourself” the familiar voice made your body stiff, your blood went cold. crying against his hand when you felt his lips touch your ear, teeth grazing it. 

“you’re so pretty” he cooed, his voice heavy and slow. tears pricked your eyes as you struggled against his hold but the tall man was obviously stronger than you being an athlete. you tried to stomp on his feet but the man nudged you forward with his weight as you two tumbled into the couch. 

you can feel the vibration of his chuckle as his chest was against your back. you heard him sigh and a small grind on your ass was enough to make you feel disgusted and dirty. 

“i apologize for this next action, (y/n)” suna muttered beside your eyes and he leaned back, quickly turning you around. before you could even scream, pain blossomed on your cheek. your vision turned blurry at the impact, dizzy.

this motherfucker just punched you. you faced him again and spat the blood on his face, your lip busted as well. “f-fuck you!”

suna growled at your actions but quickly smirked, wiping away the bloody spit on his eye while he held you down. 

“a tough one~ i like that” he whispered and you could feel a hard nudge on your inner thigh making you grimace. this man was fucked up... he just got hard from punching you and you fighting back-

suna smirking down at you was the last thing you remember then everything went dark.

the room was cold. and your limbs ached with each movement you did. you opened your eyes and panic hit you when you couldn’t see anything. you tried to call out but there was a gag on your mouth. 

you cried through the gag, you cursed everything. you hate fate for getting you into this mess. you curse soulmates bonds, you were right. soulmates are a bunch of bullshit. just look at where that ended you up in. most importantly, you hate him. if you can, you’ll kill him on the spot. 

the fucking psychopath. your soulmate. 

you bit the cloth on your mouth as the binds on your eyes got wet from the tears that escaped from your eyes. your feelings were a mess and all you could feel is anger, shame, and dread. 

“oh, you’re awake. that’s good. i thought i hit you harder than i intended to, thank god that you’re okay” you heard the familiar voice that you loathe. you growled through your gag but suna could only laugh at your pathetic attempt of dominance when you’re gagged, blindfolded, and tied to the bed. 

“now now, no need for that. we want to get along, don’t we” he muttered, walking closer to you and sat on the bed, beside you. 

you flinched when you felt his weight beside you and his hands caressed your cheek. you whimpered at the dull pain when he touches your cheek. this fucker touched where he punched you--

“that looked like it’ll bruise” you growled again at his words. you wanted to scream at him. hit him. make him feel the pain of what he did to you. 

your fussing about stopped and you stiffened when you felt him shift on top of you, going in between your legs. you tried to close your legs but his hands were faster than you. 

he maneuvered you like a doll he owns, fixing you into a position he liked. suna gazed at your tied-up body, his cock already starting to harden in his pants. he wants to touch you already. 

his hand went up and tugged your blindfold as he smiled at your dazed look that changed to a mean one. suna chuckled at your spirit. it was making him excited. 

“you’re too cute, love” he muttered, leaning closer to your neck and nuzzled into you, taking in your scent loudly making you flinch in dread. 

“you smell so sweet,” he said against your neck, an unconscious shiver running up your body. suna smirked when he felt it and continued to nuzzle his face in your neck. his hands touching and groping your body while you growled through the gag but he barely even paid attention to it, too caught up at the feeling of finally touching you and being with you. 

“i wanna taste you~” he whispered lewdly, looking deep into your eyes with a smirk. your eyes widened at his words and mustered up all the strength you had and hit his head against yours. 

you were disoriented after it but it was worth it when you heard his curse as he leaned away. your forehead was red you were sure and it’ll bruise with how hard his head was. 

“you bitch-!” your moment of victory was cut off when large hands wrapped around your neck, squeezing it. you choked, wriggling around to get away from suna but he leaned all his weight on top of you. 

he glared down at you, watching with sick satisfaction when your eyes slowly fluttered close and your struggling gradually ceased. suna can snap your neck right now if he wants to. the power he has over you almost made him drool, his cock twitching excitedly in his pants.

he let your neck go, heart beating fast when he saw finger marks on your neck, the shape of his hands on your skin. he watched you cough and try to inhale air, desperately. 

suna then grasped your chin in a tight hold and turned you to face him, making your dazed eyes look up at him, “do that again and i’ll make you bleed.” 

he let your chin go harshly and climbed off you, going out of the room. you gulped and intake the precious air, looking at the door with fear and anger. 

being with suna was an absolute nightmare. you don’t know how long it has been since the psycho kidnapped you and it was agitating. you fought back but suna liked it because it gave him the excuse to hurt you. you knew this but you just can’t give him the satisfaction he craved of you submitting to him. 

your body was slumped into the bed whilst you cried as suna ate you out. his fingers pumping viciously in and out of you, tongue lapping on your swollen clit. he denied you 4 orgasms already and your body was so sensitive from it. 

“just fucking accept this already!” suna growled against your pussy, the vibrations sending violent shivers in your body. you writhe and keened, your body in his mercy. 

you shook your head, tears streaming down your red and bruised cheeks. your neck was decorated with purple and red, bite marks and fingerprints alike. your wrists red and raw from the rope he used on you constantly.

“n-no!” 

suna rolled his eyes at your disobedience but let you be. he knows you’ll be his good girl sooner or later. he just has to try harder, he guesses. 

he sucked on your clit messily, tonguing your wetness. his fingers caressing your walls as he hit your g-spot making you arch your back. suna smirked and continued his ministrations, ignoring your pleading to let you cum already. 

he felt your walls clenching on his fingers as he stopped altogether making you cry in desperation. suna leaned on his feet, admiring the way your body tried to hump him to get the satisfaction of cumming. 

your body is so beautiful. before it was pristine and void of any marks and flaws but now your skin was decorated with purple and red courtesy of his love for you. 

“you really wanna do this, (y/n)? you rather be a bad girl than be my precious girl?” suna tried to reason with you, his tone was as if he was talking to a child. you scowled at him, “fuck you, asshole!” 

suna’s eyes turned dark at it. one thing he can’t tolerate was you saying such crude and bad words. he raised his hand and slapped you, the force of it made you turn to the side as you gasped at the pain. 

blood dripped from your nose. suna then grabbed your cheeks, squeezing. he glared down at you. “when will you learn... and here i thought you were smarter than that” 

you cried at the pain of his grip on your face and the sting of his slap was still there as his fingers pressed down to the bruises you had on your face. he shook your head, growling, “what do you say when you do something wrong” 

he continued to shake you, your aching limbs hurt at the violent movements. you whimpered and unconsciously replied, “i’m sorry-!” 

suna stopped and removed his hands from you. you looked up at him with teary eyes and saw him smiling softly at you. his mood swings were scary. you don’t really know what type of suna you’ll get before it’s too late... 

“atta girl...” he muttered and started to remove his pants. you panicked at his actions and tried to move away but the painful slap on your thigh was enough to make you stop. 

“now, let me fuck you” 

suna grabbed your ankle and pulled you down on the bed further, closer to him. he pumped his cock at the sight of you, so pretty and crying

“rintarou please-! d-don’t!” you cried, feeling so helpless and all your fire from earlier and the past days gone. the dark-haired male grinned at your sobbing and fussing about. 

“tsk. be a good girl, (y/n). just accept it.” he leaned closer to you, whispering against your wobbly lips. his dark yellow eyes stared straight into yours, lust swirling around his orbs. your body shook in fear and a small cry leaving your swollen lips. 

in one swift movement, suna entered you. he captured your lips, muffling your screams because of him suddenly entering you. the wet squishing noises were triggering your tears. you felt disgusted with yourself that you were enjoying the stretch and the feeling of being filled up by this psycho. 

maybe in another world where you two have met differently. a perfect world where things weren’t complicated. if you two worked it out and things were different then maybe you’ve actually loved him and accepted him as your soulmate. but not in this world. not now. 

you cried when suna started moving, hitting your g-spot with every thrust. your body arched on the bed, feeling the pleasure. suna panted above you, arms caging you and his muscles contracting with every movement he does. 

suna cursed at the feeling, it felt so good. you feel so good. your wet and squishy walls sucking him so eagerly. the lewd sounds of your wetness and his constant thrusting was making him more excited. 

he stopped for a moment, pulling out from your pussy to put you in all fours and then entered you again when he moved you the way he likes. suna groaned, fucking deep into you. his tip grazing your cervix making you squeal. you can feel your orgasm coming faster because of the orgasms suna denied you earlier. you sobbed, hips unconsciously thrusting back to his dick. 

the male chuckled breathily, sneaking a hand between your legs to play with your swollen clit. you choked on a moan when you felt him massaging your clit. you let your head plop down to the mattress, arms wobbly, and all you could do was moan as your body jerking at the pleasure suna was giving you. 

“oh honey, you should see how slutty your body gets when i’m fucking you” he snickered behind you, hips never relenting with his fast and hard thrusts. 

you felt tears trail down your bruised cheeks, you don’t know if it’s because of the shame you felt earlier or the pleasure. the fast circles suna gave your clit made you whine and moan as you felt your orgasm wash over you. 

you howled at the satisfying feeling of the violent orgasm, finally cumming after the torture of not coming four times earlier. suna smirked at the way your body convulsed beneath him. 

the unwavering fucking from behind was sending you to overstimulation and suna’s fingers still rubbed down your sensitive clit. you whined and keened, drool slipping past your lips. 

“so fucked out” suna muttered and bent to lean against your back, his dick twitching in your wet walls. he then angled his thrust differently making you gasp. 

he leaned back again, staring at your sweaty discolored back, from his bites from the past fun times you two had, and the way you leaned against the pillows as your pretty face contorting into a fucked out expression, so lewd.

a large hand trailed down to the back of your neck, grabbing it and letting you lean against suna’s chest. his hand then wrapped around your dainty neck, squeezing, as he felt the vibrations of your moans. 

“pretty baby~” 

his other hand gripped your hips, stilling your wiggling around as he fucked into your harder at the newly changed angle. you whimpered at the way his thick cock reached so deep into you. 

suna moaned beside your ear, hips slowly losing his rhythm as he chased his own orgasm. his self-control snapping into something greedy and feral. he ignored your cries and fucked you so he can finally cum. 

the way he used you wasn’t supposed to feel this good. although he didn’t have any intention to make you feel good, the way his dick stuffed your full and the way his thickness stretched you was made you feel the familiar band in your stomach trying to snap once again.

he unconsciously squeezed your neck, breath heavy, when he felt his orgasm getting closer. he growled, thrusting sloppily in you, the sounds of your wetness echoed in the room along with your broken moans and rasps. you can feel him twitching inside you sending you into another orgasm.

you screamed, body arching against suna. the way your pussy squeezed him and the feeling of you cumming again triggered his own. suna moaned, painting your insides with his cum as he rode his orgasm, ignoring your whining. 

he panted, removing his hold on you and letting you hit and slump unto the bed. you whined at the action. suna pulled out of you as he admired the way your pussy was filled with his cum, dripping down to your thighs and down to the sheets. he licked his lips at the sight and leaned closer to you as if he was lured in. 

you gasped and cried when you felt his tongue wiggling around your sensitive pussy. you squeezed your eyes close tightly, body shivering at the overstimulation but suna barely paid any attention to you. he only wanted to satisfy his desires.

you gazed at the plain ceiling, dully. the soft breathing of the insane male beside you was making you grimace. he just finished fucking you or what he calls, “soulmate bonding time” but all he did was make you cry. 

the sun was up and it was probably noon now but suna normally sleeps in and today was no exception. the phone beside suna’s side on the table started buzzing, circling a little because of the vibration. you heard suna groaned, always the light sleeper. you quickly closed your eyes and hid your face in the covers and pillows. 

you felt the male shifting and after a while, he started talking in his annoyingly attractive deep voice. sleep taking a toll in his vocal cords making it all husky. you internally cursed the soulmate bond trying to make you see him in another light or some bullshit like that.

“hey, what’s up?” 

you continued to listen to the one-sided conversation as you pretend to be asleep. your heart skipped a beat when you heard suna’s words. 

“yeah, come over. i’ll introduce you to her” 

your body stiffened but tried to relax. maybe this was your chance to expose him. you have to try something, you can’t keep letting him do these things to you... 

a soft sleepy groan, the sound someone makes when they stretch, rung inside the quiet room. the covers shifted a bit and a disgustingly familiar body heat hit your skin as two large hands caressed your skin. 

“baby? i’m gonna introduce you to my friends, that’s okay right? it’s time i show off my pretty baby~” you heard him coo. you bit your lip, how can this man act like your relationship with him is normal... you then became painfully aware of the bruises and scars on your body making you self-conscious as you tried to make yourself smaller. 

“they’ll see all of these” he whispered sweetly with a dazed look on his eyes as he traced the marks that were in purple-y and reddish hues that it was too nauseating to look at but suna thought it was so beautiful on you.

suna spent all afternoon dolling you up, fixing your short dress that shows every mark he gave you. your eyes looked at your reflection. you teared up at the sight. you didn’t look like yourself anymore... 

tired eyes that sagged with dark bags under it. a deep purple bruise on your cheek. your bottom lip was cut from suna’s slap, neck decorated with hickeys and fingerprints, skin discolored.

the man behind you started whistling the godforsaken tune he always sang under his breath as he combed your hair. after fixing your hair, he let his hands down on your shoulders and looked at you through the mirror. 

“ain’t you a pretty little thing...” he muttered, admiring you. you let your gaze shift down to your lap as the male carried you to the living room. 

“now behave.” his word was final as always. do not question it nor do you go against it. or he’ll hurt you... again and again...

a loud voice cut through the quiet atmosphere in the apartment and impatient knocks was heard. “suna! open the damn door, already!” 

the dark-haired male sighed and went to the door. your heart started beating a little too fast. when his guests see you, or your state, you’ll get away from here... or maybe he’ll hurt them too... you shook your head. trying to stay positive so you can get out of this hellhole.

a tall man with golden dyed locks entered the room along with someone who looked similar to him though their hair was different. honey brown eyes lock with your tired ones, you were hopeful when you saw the confusion in his eyes. 

the man looked back to suna who stood next to him, you knew you were saved when the two identical men glared at him but then they started talking--

“geez! here i thought you’ll be gentler now that you met your soulmate!”

“suna? gentle? like hell. now where’s the food. you promised me food, suna” 

your eyes got teary as you suppressed a gasp. of course, his friends were as insane as he was. 

the golden haired male then smiled at you like there was nothing wrong. like he doesn’t see all the fucking bruises on your body, “hey, darlin’~ suna’s been beating you, huh? were you misbehaving~?” 

suna growled at the man and shoved him, “shut the fuck up, atsumu” the two started bickering like everything was normal as they ignored you...

you sniffled and turned to the light nudged from your side, you looked at the other male that entered the apartment. the man offered you some pudding as a spoon was hanging from his lips. “you look like you need it, miss” he said, his face unfazed. 

you took the pudding with shaking hands and lowered your head as the three men walked around the room, conversing with each other. 

maybe, suna’s right... life would be easier if you just accepted him. you were stuck with him now and always and his name on your skin will forever be the reminder of that. 

fate has a weird way of pairing people up and you can’t do anything about it.