#I think they can meet at the hospital while Han rest

[mugunghwc]

@badheart

More than 24 had passed since they had seen the sunlight. Clamour had turned into silence as the hours went by, losing their fury. The imminent war kept them at bay, saving every ounce of energy for the fight—if they even arrived in time for it. Despite the many men within the Tojo, this was a war between the Fukuhara-gumi and Endo. With enough determination, today could be the day the clan's leader lost his power. The arrival of the Jingweon mafia overshadowed that of the rest of the Fukuhara-gumi, their surprise was evident upon seeing no other than Han Joon-gi and a few of his men already guarding the home. Among them was Ji Woo, who instructed Yury to keep a close eye on their boss, emphasizing that his safety took priority over that of the yakuza leader. Ideally, he wouldn't be present in the first place. Kim remained blissfully unaware of such a risk.

The cold, steel bars of a cell felt oddly nice underneath his fingers, which were clasped around them as Ryo glared outwards. Out of sight, but not out of mind. "And we’re stuck in here while our boss faces them alone.” Well, not entirely alone. However, the support of their men, did little to put at ease his mind. Their high rank wasn't without reason—they were Fukuhara's top dogs due to their skill in combat and reliability. A scoff escapes him. "This won't go without consequence."

The security alarm began to beep, triggered by its motion-detecting feature, as men started trespassing into the Fukuhara home. Their images were captured on the CCTV footage, heightening the anticipation of the attack. Then, there was dead silence—not even their steps were heard as they entered the residence, like ghosts. All of their faces were concealed with masks, obscuring their identities. Endo's men blocked the exits, led by Jack. His cry for action was like the rumble of thunder announcing a storm. Their bullets, like raindrops as they began to pour. Han kept close to the clan's leader, aiming his gun at whoever dared to get near. However, shooting was reserved in case it was necessary ; using of his strength to fight back. The less blood they shed, the easier would it be to avoid further issue.

Simultaneously, as if aware of Fukuhara's predicament, Yuma appeared. This was his chance, as there was no considerable amount of men guarding the secondary home in which Eiko and her child were kept. It would've been the perfect timing, had it not been predicted by Shintaro, who was even quicker to act than Kim was—emerging from the shadows. The man was detained.

Despite their perfect timing, Endo's attempt to annihilate the leader of their rival group had failed. Just as the king was going to be overthrown, a dark horse arose. Some lives were lost, but not all of them, as it was clear that they were at a disadvantage with the amount of men on Fukuhara's side. Jack was shot on his right thigh ; groaning in pain before calling off the attack. He was escorted by the rest as they retrieved from the home. Everything went quiet again, minus their ragged breathing. Han slumped against the wall with his head thrown back and a mild ache when his ribcage expanded with each inhale. Without notice, he, too, had been shot. The adrenaline rushing through his body prevented him from taking notice. It was only until Ji Woo pointed out his bloodied clothes that it dawned on him. He had been careless.

Kim would eventually find out upon being informed by Yury, but as desperate as he was to ensure that his boss wasn't in danger, he had to keep Yuma under the radar for now. It was Shintaro who insisted that it was Han who communicated to Kenzo about it, as he'd be more comprehensive with him rather than with an actual ex-convict, regardless of whether it was warranted or not. He visited the leader and was one of the first ones to see him upon awaking from surgery, handing over his phone.

"If you want any chance of keeping your brother alive, I suggest you free Fukuhara's men." Han suggested, while hinting of having knowledge of his whereabouts. Even if it was frowned upon by his colleagues, the entire force knew that they had no motive to hold them in captivity any longer. The more time it passed, the more vicious would be their fury.

As soon as the cell was opened, Ryo was among the first to step out and grab his items. Among them, his jacket, which he had removed by then. He took Jiro with him and headed up to check on their leader. A phone call that was made within the car, asking for the man's location.

[heartofwritiing]

What am I supposed to do, if theres no you?

paring: wilbur soot x fem!reader

authors note: I was listening to soon you’ll get better by taylor swift. I couldn’t get the imagery of this song out of my head and I needed to write some sort of vent. also inspired by a fic that @starsyoubreaklikesugardust wrote called whats it like on the other side of us that utterly destroyed me and I needed a happier version... This is super self-indulgent as hell but I hope you guys like it!

warnings: angst, mentions of an illness, hospitals, heavy topics, mentions of death, reader doesn’t have a specific illness, fluff, hurt comfort, me not knowing about medical terms or hospitals so excuse me lol, unedited!

The hospital bed feels warmer when Wilbur lies beside you, the only sound in the small room is the beeping of the machine monitoring your vitals.

On most days, everything is fine. However, when he's around, it's easy to forget the inevitable fate that awaits.

When he has to leave, he goes home to sleep in an empty bed and never does sleep. In those moments of solitude, he cries until he can't anymore. He tries to distract himself by painting the kitchen yellow, fixing up the garden, going to the studio to record, and hanging out with friends. But he feels guilty he’s not beside you.

The next time you see him he looks horrible. Like he got hit by a bus and you’re wondering if you should be the one in here or him. Wilbur Voice horse, circles under his eyes and red you know is from his tears. That’s when you pull him by the arm so he can curl up next to you so he can finally get some rest.

Stoking your fingers through his hair as he snores softly into your collarbone. You think about how Wilbur would ever function without you. How is he gonna take care of himself -when-if you are gone one day. That pit is building in your stomach along with the small lump in your throat. The burning of your eyes as you silently cry while you hold him close to your body.

Because that was what your life was full of, what ifs, whens, uncertainty, and dread. He didn’t deserve that. The arguments you used to get into when you first got sick. Begging him to leave you because you knew, in the long run, this wouldn’t work out. You could spend the rest of your life in and out of hospitals while he wasted away with you.

Wilbur swore repeatedly up and down that he would never leave you. No matter how much you tried to drive him away or how hard matters got.

Wilbur was constantly worried about your well-being, but he held onto hope that you would recover. This was especially true after the first time he brought you home.

You were happy to leave the uncomfortable hospital bed and small room reeking of antiseptic. You slow danced with him in the living room to Elton John playing from his phone speaker, listened to him write new songs, and slept in because you missed waking up in your shared bed. You felt like your old self again and he loved seeing you that way.

When things got worse again, the bright light in your eyes would soon fade, like water extinguishing a flame, as you had to leave your home and return to that sterile, white-washed room.

When you are back in that hospital bed, with the scratchy sheets and the fluorescent lights that hurt your eyes you’re back to being a shell of a human. The depression hits you harder and Wilbur does all he can to help. make you as comfterble as possible despite the weight of the situation.

You know he’s only trying to provide solstice. The small room fills with his soft voice as he reads your favorite stories. Telling you bad jokes he’s heard from Tommy that get you to at least crack a smile. He feels proud he was the one to grant you some form of happiness.

-

His hand holds your shaking, cold one as the IV pumps treatment into your veins. He leans over in his chair to be closer to you, lips against your knuckles. Your eyes meet in a longing stare that says 'I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.' You gently squeeze his hand.

“Wil?” You asked hoarsely.

“Yes, darling?” His voice is intimate, making you feel like there are people around even though it's just the two of you. The nickname always makes your tummy flutter with delight.

You want to capture the way he looks at you in a picture. He tentatively waits for your next words, his doe eyes filled with concern. You clear your throat and exhale softly.

“I was thinking... maybe we should find a house in the country,” you say. Wilbur remains silent. "Somewhere quiet, with big fields where we can see the sky, and watch the sunset on the porch."

You've mentioned how you'd love to live out in the country. A cottage large enough for you both to have separate areas. A streaming room for him, and a bedroom and den for you to store all your books and painting supplies.

A place where you can finally be free from confinement. Despite Wilbur's jokes about you being an old soul, you were in touch with life through knitting, painting, reading, and walks. That's what he wanted to give you again.

Your voice is quieter now, creating a moment just for you. The heaviness in your voice made your eyes well up. You could feel his thumb caressing your knuckles. Like a silent ‘take your time’. Your throat closes up as you keep talking. Your breath is shaking, primarily due to the cold temperature of the room and the medicine making you feel woozy. But you and Wilbur knew it was the emotional weight you tried to carry with your words.

Somewhere we can grow old together.

The sentence sits heavily in your mind. You'd like to say it to him. You wanted to share it with him so badly, but it felt painful to have cross your mind.

Wilbur already knows by the look in your eyes. He leans over you, lovingly presses a kiss to your forehead, and wipes away a single tear before it can roll down your cheek. Slowly he moves down, then presses another kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Whatever you want, my love.” he squeezes your hand back.

-

Wilbur spent weeks searching through countless home-selling websites for your dream house, but none were to his liking or within your budget. A month later, while sitting uncomfortably in a hospital chair with his long legs curled up to his chest, he scrolled through his phone and stumbled upon a house that seemed too good to be true.

He scheduled numerous appointments to see the house, ensuring everything was in order before making a final decision. Moving his belongings with the help of friends and bandmates was hectic.

He spent weeks preparing for your homecoming, buying new furniture, and arranging your books to your liking, making everything perfect only then he would finally surprise you.

He's there to take you to his car the day you leave the hospital. He takes care of you in the passenger seat, buckling you in and ensuring you're ready to leave before setting off.

As Wilbur drives past your shared apartment, soft indie tunes play through the car's speakers, and you lean back against the headrest, watching the scenery pass by. You realize you passed the turn to your house and Wilbur's hand takes yours.

Wilbur turns to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and says, "We're not going home just yet." A faint smile is on his lips as if he's hiding something from you. He then drives in a different direction, and you can't help but feel excited about what he has planned.

"Where are we going?" you ask. As you speak, he can hear your worry.

"If I told you that, it would ruin the surprise," he says.

He knows you're antsy in your seat but it'll be worth it. After driving through winding roads and trees, he pulls up to a house with an arched doorway and slanted roof, almost like the one you dreamed of growing up.

Wilbur turns off the ignition, rushes to your side, opens the car door, and with a grin offers his hand to help you out. Wilbur leads you to the front door, unlocks it with a small key, and picks you up to carry you over the threshold.

"Welcome home darling," he says.

You are led through the house, to the hallway to the cozy living room. taking everything in slowly.

The soft pillows on the sofa, your paintings on the walls, your books on the shelf, and Wilbur's record player and vinyl set up. His acoustic guitar set against the wall caused your eyes to well up.

"Wilbur," you began, but tears rolled down your face as the emotions overwhelmed you. Why was he going through all this trouble for a silly dream?

Wilbur frowned as he tried to place you on the recliner, but you clung to him, so he sat down with you in his lap. Speaking softly into your ear with tender words to calm you.

You drew away from him, noticing the worry in his gaze as you locked eyes with Wilbur, he searched your expression frantically, attempting to figure out the cause of your distressed state.

"Are you okay?" he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it's a lot to take all at once, but I wanted to surprise you. I'm sorry for being secretive."

You shake your head, in slight remorse for making him assume he upset you or pushed things too far.

"I'm just so happy." you beamed tearily.

Ease washed over him, and a sigh escapes his lips. Tears well in his eyes. He gently takes the back of your head and brings you to meet him for a kiss. His lips are soft and warm as they enveloped yours passionately. You reciprocated his kiss, bringing your hands to thread in his hair. Your noses brushed as you pulled away to catch your breath.

While holding each other, you remained in that position. Your breathing was slow and unsteady, and tears streamed down your face as you cried onto Wilbur's shoulder. Everything, for the first time in a long time, felt perfect.

Everything you had ever wanted was with Wilbur, and you were never going to want anything else.

Wilbur knew in his heart, soon you would get bette, because you just had to.

End.

tagging: @merakiwi @trashcanduck  @addxms @ax-y10

[moonlightndaydreams]

Limbo Part 7

Pairing: Lee Minho x fem reader x Han Jisung

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9

Synopsis: Lee Minho is the mysterious new accountant at your workplace, and he seems to have his sights set on you. But things aren't so simple when your ex boyfriend Han comes back into the picture. Can you and Minho make it work, or will you get back with Han?

Spoiler: Happy ending, eventual poly minsung.

MDNI / smut

Chapter Summary: Heartbreak and embarrassment... that's all I'm going to say for this one.

Taglist: open.

CW: angst, heartbreak, embarrassment, sexual content, revelations.

Coffee. You needed coffee. It was two in the afternoon, and you felt like a zombie. You’d managed to get through two meetings, drop off some clothes to the hospital, fix a technical glitch in the recording booth, and defuse a “debate” between Binnie and Felix. Autopilot my ass, you thought to yourself. But the most important thing you achieved today was to avoid Minho. You hadn’t seen or heard him all day. Felix had told Hyunjin that he was locked away working and hadn’t left his desk all day.

You walked down the last of the stairs to the main foyer area towards the cafe. Was he avoiding you? You shook your head. He probably hadn’t even given you a second thought.

Boof!

You nearly fell over. You’d been so deep in thought you hadn't been looking where you were going. You shyly looked up to find Minho standing before you. Shit! 

“Oh, Hi Minho,” you started. Your voice didn’t sound like your own, but had a rather bizarre shrillness you didn’t recognise.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Minho placed his hands on your shoulders, and leaned down to get a better look at you.

You stiffened uncomfortably. He was close. He was too close. You could smell his cologne wafting towards you. It smelled so good. You didn’t want to look him in the eye, and you certainly didn’t want him seeing how crappy you looked today. You were sure you’d looked how you felt. Like shit.

“Minho, It’s a good thing I finally ran into you. I wanted to explain to you. About last -”

“Look. Y/n. I,” he began and ran his fingers through his hair. “Come sit.” He ushered you to an empty bench in the foyer. “Look,” he hesitated. You felt sick. Whatever Minho was about to say it couldn’t be good.

“I think…maybe we should have some distance. You know, maybe keep things…professional? I - I feel it’s for the best.”

Your mouth hung agape, stunned. “Wait. What?” You eventually managed. Minho wouldn’t quite meet your eyes and his expression looked pained. “I’m… I’m really sorry for stringing you along. It was wrong of me.” He finally looked at you. “It’s not you. It’s me. I- I just can’t do this.” He stood and walked away, leaving you standing in the middle of the foyer unable to move and as though you’d been kicked in the guts.

You hid in the podcast recording studio for the rest of the day. You couldn’t think properly. You didn’t want to face Hyunjin and Binnie just yet. You would fill them in later. For now you just let yourself cry. Fuck you, Han. If it weren’t for him then you and Minho’s night would have turned out completely different. Maybe? Maybe Minho would have fucked you in your own bed and still broke things off with you today? Fuck Minho. Fuck men. They’re all just a bunch of assholes.

—————————

Minho remained friendly and polite with you for the next few weeks, treating you the same as all the other staff. He didn’t go out of his way to talk to you, but if he had to interact with you he was nice about it. It almost made you more mad than if he acted like he hated you. At least if he seemed like he hated you then you could get over him for being an asshole.

“What a fucking dickhead.” You mumbled to yourself while at your desk. You still didn’t understand why Minho had broken things off. He never did give you a proper explanation, and it looked like you’d never truly know what went wrong. Perhaps you were just a bit of fun for him? Or maybe he’d found a better option? That was probably it. You had seen than bitch Janine hanging around him an awful lot. What has she got that you don’t?

“She works in his department, of course she’s going to be seen close to him?” Binnie reminded you.

“Plus, he doesn’t look at her in that way.” Hyunjin added, looking up from his computer.

“What way?” said Binnie.

“The way he looks at y/n. He still looks at her like he used to...when she’s not looking, you know?”

Your eyes flicked up. “What are you even talking about?” But you knew, because you’d caught him a few times yourself. Not that you were looking at him or anything.

“He still gazes at you, babe.” Hyunjin said with wide eyes.

“Well I wish he wouldn’t ‘cos that just makes things harder.” You mumbled returning your attention back to your work.

—————————————————

“Thanks for all your help, y/n. It’s meant a lot to us.” Mina smiled.

“Hey,” you reached across the dining table and squeezed her hand. “Of course. You’re basically family.”

You had popped by Mina’s home for a cup of coffee. Their Mom was on track to make a full recovery, but remained in hospital for now.

“So, how is Han?” You hesitated in asking about her brother.

She offered a wry smile. “He’s… he’s doing okay. He’s still beating himself up about it, you know, blaming himself.” she said, hugging her mug with her hands.

“But why? He didn’t do anything wrong?” But as you said those words, you remembered what he’d said that night on the bench. “I was meant to pick Mum up from her appointment, and I was held up at the…”

“He was running late from his recovery mentoring session. He was supposed to pick Mom up, but he was late. So Mom started heading home on foot.” Mina explained. “I can understand why he feels the way he does… but,” she met your eyes. “I could never blame him.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. Mina had dealt with a drunk Han almost as much as you. Who knows what she had to deal with after you left him? Mina stayed by his side when you couldn’t. Did you give up on him too easily? Are you a coward or a bitch for leaving him?

Why the fuck would Mina ever want to speak to you again after leaving her brother like you did? You almost felt like you shouldn’t be there, sitting in her house. You didn’t deserve her kindness.

You cleared your throat. “Recovery mentoring session?” You asked curiously.

Mina blinked, her mind elsewhere. “Yeah. He sees this volunteer guy every week at the rehab centre. They’d become pretty good friends, actually. Anyway he was with him the night Mom got hit.”

“Hey Sis!” The front door opened and Han walked in, interrupting the conversation. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. You were surprised to see him, and even more surprised at the nervousness that arose as he approached you.

Han stopped in his tracks when he saw you sitting at the dining table. “Oh, y/n. Hi.” He said, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer than necessary.

“Hannie, have you eaten? Want me to cook something?” Mina said scurrying off to the kitchen.

“Food would be great.” He called after her but remained rooted to the spot

You swallowed nervously. “I… Um… Need to get going.” You made to stand up.

“Please, y/n. You don’t have to leave. Stay for some food.” He kept his eyes downcast, focusing on the floor just in front of your feet.

“I insist.” Mina called from the kitchen.

Mina’s rolled omelet was delicious, but the atmosphere was awkward. Mina did her best to drive the conversation, and you tried your best to be polite. But Han stayed mostly silent. You were confused about how he was making you feel. You thought time would help you move on, that you’d be over him, or at least feel indifferent. But sitting with him eating his sister’s cooking, it was clear that although your anger and resentment had faded, there were other feelings still there.

Was it just that he’d been someone you’d cared about for so long, that deep down you’ll always feel something for him? Or was it guilt that was doing things to your heart? Why did you feel a strong pull to be close to him? It was probably because you were still upset with Minho. Yes that was surely it. You were just feeling wounded and rejected, and Han just happened to be the only other man that was in your proximity. Binnie and Hyunjin don't count.

But why did you keep looking at his neck and remembering the taste of it when you’d nibble on his skin? Or watch his hands and remember how skilled he was with them? How he knew exactly what to do with them inside your pussy?

Your gaze landed on his lips. You remembered the way they felt on her own lips. The way they’d kiss your entire body. The way they’d suck on your clit.

You felt flushed and ashamed. No. This was not right. This was not okay. Your eyes shot up to Han’s. He was looking straight at you. He’d been watching you too. Had he been watching you the entire time?

“I really need to go.” You said out of the blue and collected your handbag. “It was good to see you, Mina. Han.” You nodded towards him on your way out.

On your drive home, you felt nothing but sick with confusion and guilt. The more you were learning about Han and his recovery, the more you felt you could’ve done more to support him. Instead, you’d cut him out of your life in one swift moment. Where was your compassion? Where was your empathy? You felt like a fucking coward. And why were you still feeling things for him? That was certainly not something you wanted. It had to be part of the guilt.

You smacked the steering wheel and cried out in an anger. Between your unresolved guilt about Han, and the feeling of rejection from Minho, you felt like the biggest fucking loser in the world. You weren’t good enough. Simple as that. You weren’t good enough to help your partner when he needed you, and you weren’t good enough for Minho to want to be more than a brief fuck-buddy. Was there really something wrong with you?

You drove the rest of the way home in some sort of trance. You were fed up. Tired. Confused. You dumped your handbag on the dining table and went straight to your room, hiding under the covers and quite happy to never come out again.

-------------------------

“Morning people!” Felix announced himself as he entered your office.

“And how did we pull up after last night?” He scooted around behind Hyunjin and gave him a prod on the cheek.

“Ugh you stink, Felix! Get off me!”

“Last time I do a work thing on a Wednesday” Binnie piped up.

You laughed dryly to yourself. “Yep, us folks at SKZ know how to go hard.” you rolled your eyes.

Felix wasn’t listening, he was too busy staring confusedly at Hyunjin’s laptop screen. He scrunched up his nose. “Since when does your job involve watching Netflix?”

Hyunjin looked up at you and Binnie innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“What is it anyway?” Felix continued.

“Yeah what are you doing?” Binnie was now out of his seat and around behind Hyunjin, and stood next to Felix. They both squinted to see the images despite the glare.

“Uggh! Hyunjin!” Binnie said “Come on we have so much work to do.” He pouted and returned back to his desk, plonking himself down on his chair and then deciding to spin around on it.

“Binne, you’ll be sick, hun. Just.. stop, okay?” You said, then turned your attention to Hyunjin. “What are you watching anyway?”.

“K-Drama.” Hyunjin winked at you. “And I am working, Binnie. It’s for my podcast”.

“We’ll have to watch one of these when I come over tonight.. You know ‘Netflix and Chill’.” Felix laughed at himself, thinking he was clever. He gave Hyunjin a peck on the cheek and then sauntered out of the office.

“Yeah we’ll see about that.” Hyunjin mumbled.

You sat quietly in your chair. Your head was pounding, and you felt deeply embarrassed to even show your face at work after last night. Holy shit. You massaged your forehead hoping to ease some of the throbbing. You didn’t want to recall last night’s events.

Chris had decided it would be a wonderful team building activity to all go out to the Karaoke bar.

“It’ll be fun.” Begged Felix when you’d said you weren't going. Minho was going to be there and you did not want to have to socialize with him around. But you ended up going along anyway after your friends begged you.

That was your first mistake. Everything went downhill after that. You got smashed. You danced and sang sexy whilst trying to give Minho a lap dance. Minho left the room. Ugghh! How fucking humiliating. But the worst part of the entire night was slipping into a side room so you could take a moment to die, when you ran into Minho with that fucking bitch Janine trying to climb onto his lap.

Fuck him, then. You took a sip of the water bottle on your desk and logged back into your emails. You clicked on a new email that was addressed to all staff.

Your jaw dropped.

There on the screen was a video of you from the karaoke bar singing and dancing in front of Minho. But not only that, underneath the video was a link and title that said “y/n’s secret podcast”. You clicked on the link and suddenly the room was filled with the sound of people having sex.

“Oh… yes… fuck… Oh God… like that…”

Your face turned white as a ghost. It was an audio of you and Minho having sex. Your mind frantically tried to work out where this had come from.

“You like me fucking you on a desk at work, huh?”

“Yes… grrr… Come for me, kitten…”

Of course, the podcast booth. You must’ve knocked the microphone on.

You began to panic. Anxiety coursed through you and your body felt like it was on fire. You were going to vomit. You couldn’t breath, and you felt light headed.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

Hyunjin and Binnie looked at each other and then at you. “Kitten?” Hyunjin gulped.

“Maybe most people won’t open it?” Binnie tried to sound hopeful but he wasn’t convincing. “I’ll ring Felix. He’ll sort it. Fuck. Y/n. You need to speak to Chris. Whoever has it out for Minho is fucking with you too.”

Hyunjin reached across and patted your hand “It’ll be fine, babes.” he said gently.

How many people had heard it? You had to stop the email. Somehow. Was there even a way?

You opened the work chat and clicked on Felix’s chat icon.

You: Felix! WTF? Have you seen the email?

You scratched your scalp vigorously, waiting for a reply. Then ping!

Felix: Fuck! This is bad, love.

You: That isn’t helpful. What can you do?

Felix: Well, we can recall the ones that haven’t been opened, but the ones that have… Sorry.

You: Shit! Shit! Shit! What about the sender? How can I tell who sent it?

Felix: It’s from a main email, not a specific one. Let me look into it.

You: OK Thanks!

Suddenly, you were confronted with a bunch of “pings” from the staff chat. Had Felix figured it out already? You flicked the chat open. It wasn’t Felix. Instead there were ten new chats icons. You clicked on the first.

Jenny from marketing: WTF? Are you okay?

She clicked on another chat head. 

Tim: That’s real bad luck.

You continued to click through the other chat heads. More of the same.

Tears began to well up in your eyes. You turned off the chat to off-line. Felix would have to call you or come in to give you an update. 

You turned your browser back to emails. There were emails upon emails there too.

Everyone knew. 

---------------------------

“Where the hell have you been?” Binnie barked at Felix when he finally walked into their office.

“Oh love,” he wrapped his arms around you pulling you into a compassionate hug. He peeled away and wiped your tear-stained cheek.

“Y/n?” He finally said pulling up a chair beside you. He hesitated momentarily. “I know where that email came from.” he bit his lip, unsure how to continue. 

Hyunjin looked wide eyed. “Tell us!” he demanded. “Who’s the arsehole, Felix?”

You waited for Felix to respond. The silence felt heavy.

“Don’t get pissed at me,” he began. “But it came from Minho’s account.”

You opened your mouth in disbelief. You were stunned. You opened your mouth to speak. Felix raised his hand to hush you. “But… that doesn’t mean it was Minho who sent it.”

“What does that even mean?” cried Hyunjin.

“Well think about it.” Felix lowered his tone to continue “He definitely didn’t record the video from last night. Someone else had to have. It doesn’t make sense for it to be Minho. Why would he want the whole building hearing the two of you… ?” he waved his arms around.

Hyunjin scoffed. But you nodded slowly, considering what he had just said. He was right. No one would send that video out unless they wanted to humiliate both you and Minho. Why would Minho do that?

“Hmmm, maybe if we can find out who logged into the computer around that time, then we’d have a lead. I can’t believe such a fucker would do that to you y/n”. Hyunjin offered.

“You know though,” Felix leaned back in the chair. He scrunched his face thoughtfully. “When I was talking to Seungmin about those files he said got mixed up. Well, he mentioned something about Minho’s profile being deleted too.”

You and Hyunjin glanced at each other, wide-eyed. You were confused. “What do mean? What are you saying?”

“Think about it.” Felix began counting on his fingers, starting with his thumb. “Minho’s profile and details were wiped from the database. The report Minho was responsible for was tampered with. A video of Minho being serenaded by a woman who was wasted goes viral at work, and an audio of you two… you know.”

“Fucking? You can actually say the word you know, Felix? You say fuck all the time.” Binnie stated.

“Fine!” Felix scowled at Binnie, “fucking.” Satisfied with his Sherlock skills, Felix relaxed back into the chair. 

“But, how are we going to get to the bottom of this?” Hyunjin sighed.

Your desk phone buzzed. You felt like you were going to be sick. “I can’t. I can’t answer it.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Binnie soothed and picked up your phone. “Y/n's phone, Changbin speaking…. Hmmm. Okay. I’ll let her know.”

“Chris wants you in his office now.”

-----------------------------

You entered Chris’ office to find Minho was also there. He greeted you with a curt nod but didn’t speak to you. He looked as mortified as you did.

“Great. So now you’re both here,” Chris scratched his head. This was awkward for him. Never in a million years did you ever expect to be in Chris’s office for a reason like this.

“Chris, I know it wasn’t very… professional… for us to be using the workspace for… There’s no excuse and I wish to apologise.” Minho explained.

Chris laughed dryly. “I actually don’t care about what you two are doing, but really shouldn’t be doing it here. As your boss I need to be discouraging it.”

You glanced at Minho who looked awkward as fuck.

Chan sighed. “But... I’m more concerned about how an email with inappropriate content has been leaked.” Chris looked at you and then Minho. “I’m really sorry this has happened to you both. That I haven’t been able to protect your privacy. We’re looking into it, but I think it’d be best if you both took some time off.”

“What?!"

"Wait.” You and Minho began to protest.

Chris held up his hands to silence you. “You can work from home. But, please, it’s best if you are both not here for the time being.”

You were furious and Minho was about to say something else, when a knock at the door interrupted him.

Felix cracked the door open, poking his head in. “We’ve found the culprit.” He announced.

————————————————

You left the office building, but only made it as far as the park across the road, plonking yourself down on the park bench. You just sat, feeling completely numb. You would have cried if your hadn’t felt so exhausted and empty. Instead, you just closed your eyes and focused on your breath.

Everything will be fine. Everyone will forget. I will be okay.

You repeated this to yourself like a mantra for the next ten minutes, but images of your work colleagues listening to you engaging in something so personal, so intimate, overwhelmed your mind.

Eventually, you opened her eyes to find Minho sitting next to you. You didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there. You didn’t exactly want to see him, but right now he was the only one that had any idea of the humiliation you were feeling.

“How are you?” He asked kindly, concern in his eyes.

“Oh my God, Minho.” You shook your head. “Everything is so fucked right now.” You looked up at the cloudy sky and let out a loud breath.

“It is. I’m sorry.” He whispered. “So,” Minho continued after a moment. “They found out who is behind the… email… well who was behind all of it really.”

“Who?” Your eyes widened.

Minho sucked his teeth. “It was Janine.” He said. “It turns out she applied for my position and when she didn’t get it, well…” he shrugged.

Your mind went instantly to Minho and Janine in the side room at the karoke bar.

“Nothing happened with her, that night.” It was as if Minho had sensed your thoughts.

“It’s really none of my business.” You said flatly, glaring at him. You pretended you didn’t care.

“Look,” he shuffled closer to you, making your body tense. “I didn’t give you a proper explanation. About ending things so abruptly. I’m sorry.” He said sincerely.

You looked him in the eye. “You didn’t give me any explanation! I don’t know what I did wrong, or if you thought I was expecting, I don’t know, more than fucking in the office?” You felt anger rising in your body. “Just tell me why. So I know, instead of racking my brain trying to figure it out.”

Minho’s demeanour remained calm. You could feel his eyes on you, trying to connect to yours, but your couldn’t make eye contact. Instead you kept her eyes downcast.

“You know how I mentioned I volunteer for a program?” he began. You nodded, unsure where this was headed. “Well, it’s at a community facility where I am part of a program where we connect with and mentor those recovering from various addictions.” He paused before continuing. “So… I have this…. client, I guess you could call it. He and I have become really good friends over the past nine months. We meet regularly. Sometimes we talk, sometimes just hang out.” He cleared his throat. “You know how Han blames himself for his mother’s accident?”

Your heart stopped. You snapped you head up, locking eyes with Minho. What was he saying? How does he know this?

“Han was with me. He’s the person I’m mentoring, y/n.”

Your mind recalled the night when Han was on your doorstep. They had recognized each other. “I’m sure Han’s okay.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” you demanded, fury in your eyes.

“I didn’t want to break Han’s trust.” He replied calmly.

“Is that why you had to leave all of a sudden that night?”

Minho nodded. “I tried looking for him too. But I couldn’t find him. I was relieved to learn that he was safe.”

Then it dawned on you. Han must have told him about some girlfriend that abandoned him in his darkest hour and never spoke to him again. You must have sounded like a selfish bitch? No wonder Minho didn’t want anything to do with you after finding out that the girlfriend Han talked about was in fact you. Panic pulsed through your veins. That’s why he broke it off with you.

“I have to go.” You needed to get as far away from Minho as possible.

“Wait. I haven’t fin-” Minho placed a hand on your shoulder.

“No. Minho. I can’t stay.” You removed his hand and left as quickly as you could, not looking back. There was no way you could stay and keep talking to him when you felt so ashamed of yourself.

How could everything feel so fucked up right now?

↳ tag list : open

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[https-yuqiivdol]

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝔀𝓸: "𝓦𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮"..!

Chrt/ 0t8(mainly Chan and Minho), Y/n, mentions of Chae-Won

Σ(°△°|||) Warning: mentions of dying, Han is in the hospital. Mxm(Minho and Han are dating), Minho is acting crazy, cursing (and slight Felix x reader), petnames(nothing severe Minho calls you sweetheart)

Plot: You're just like the others, going to your basic university, and of course, you love the popular stray kids, but even then, you have a strange feeling about them and avoid them like a virus. Your suspicions would never be confirmed true. Until one day, life takes a particular path...

It was really hard to get up and go to school, so you told your roommate Chae-Won to tell your teachers and Felix you won't be here, she understood said her goodbye and left, giving you time to rest a bit until a few hours later, you hear some knocking, you wait a few seconds making sure it wasn't any of your imagination until you heard it again, you got up from your bed groaning and open the door only for it to be with your wost nightmare.. Bang Chan, and Lee Minho... just great. Why were the 2 oldest (and the ones you choose to avoid) of the group Stray Kids doing here..? At your dorm too? "Hey, can we talk for a second?" Chan says, trying to be less threatening than he is. You really didn't want too let them in as that feeling sets in again but maybe they wanted to talk about last night, you told them they can take a seat on yours and Chae-Won's couch "We just wanted to talk about what happened with Han and Jeongin" Chan says as he sat down and spoke in the calmest tone.

Your suspicions were true, but it still made your blood cold as shivers went up your spine "Um did Jeongin make it to your guys' dorm?" Did they know? They must have known, right? You doubt Jeongin hid this from his hyungs, and if Jeongin knew exactly how to kill those things, and he knew what that thing was, that must mean they somewhat know too right..? Maybe but your pretty sure that they wanted to know about mainly about Han since hes in the hospital "Im sorry but I wasn't with them when the accident happened" you partially lied, you weren't with them when they got hurt but, you were there when Jeongin killed the monster and after.

"Cut that lying bullshit" Minho's outburst caught you off guard but it was reasonable his boyfriend went into the hospital and the maknae of the group walked inside their dorm busted up with some bandages "I really dont know! I was walking to my car after my job and I heard Jeongin and he was hurt, and he killed this monster with my flashlight" You defended yourself under Minhos stone cold glare, while Chan looked at you with wide eyes "What did the monster look like?" you were hesitant to say anything "well I couldn't see whole but it's had really long arms and claws and it didn't have skin" You talked fast to the point you wondered if Chan and Minho even understood what you said. They looked at each other, like they were reading each other's mind, "Okay um Y/n, do you think you could meet us at our dorm if you could at 1:00" Chan said with a worried look, as you thought they probably don't believe you "For wha- okay. Yeah, sure. " they both nodded and left. What did you get yourself into? Holy shit time passed fast.. it was already 1:00, you put on a sensible outfit, and walked to your destination. Your heart was pounding more and more as you stepped closer to the dorm till you were there.

Two knocks. All it took for your heart to start pounding out of its chest, and who opened the door, of course Felix, worse ontop of worse, huh.. "Chan Y/n's here!" Felix gave you a sweet smile and invited you in. You, in return, gave him an awkward smile, and mentality said goodbye to the moonlight as you stepped inside. When you heard Felix closed the door and locked it behind you, your heart stopped pounding. Instead, you felt it stop, and cold sweat formed on your head. You take a couple of deep breaths when Felix takes your hand. "Follow me -" he sighs the contines his speech "-okay, Y/n, stay calm when we tell you all of this. I know it can be a lot to take in, okay? " he squeezes your hand. You kinda calmed down, as Felix led the way you heard the boys talking. "Seriously Jeongin, what were you thinking?" You heard Chan say, "Not only could you and Han get killed, you got Y/n into this! They don't even know what's going on..." When you saw the dining room, a few members were there Chan of course, Minho, Jeongin, and of course Felix. Jeongin had his head down, apologizing. You felt bad for the younger one. When you walk in, all eyes are on you. It was silent until Chan spoke up. "So, Y/n you know about last night, and we thought it was only fair we told you about it because... your life is in danger.."

What? Your life is in danger? When you were about to let go of Felix's hand, he grabbed it tighter. "What you saw was a Photothesitatic. It's a type of creation of the sound monster. We killed off the rest of the Photothesitatic, and we were looking for the last one.." Your eyes widen."That's why Jeongin was out there, but then what about Han?" You felt Minho's eyes sharpen at you, just as Jeongin spoke up. "I really wanted to prove myself to my hyungs, that I could handle anything, so I convinced Han to join me." Chan sighs he's probably really disappointed. "So then.. how is my life in danger?" You had to ask it. Minho spoke up. "The sound monster targets people aware of its existence in order to get more people to join its little army." He smirks."So basically, you're doomed, unless you agree to our 'terms' of surviving the fucked up town" how could he smile in this situation? "You guys are so strange, hell, maybe even worse." But what choice do you have? "Okay, what are these 'terms' of surviving?" Felix looks at you, then starts talking "Basically just stay close to us, me and Jeongin can protect you! Sometimes Hyunjin." You look at Felix and then the others."So basically, I have to stay with guys all day?" They all nod as you at them in disbelief, "Also sweetheart -" Minho spoke up again "- We're more than strange."

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Hard Truth |Han Jae Joon|

"Everything was a success he should be able to leave soon but we still want to monitor him for a few days" I smiled as I talked to the family. "You're welcomed to visit him."

"Thank you so much I don't know what I would do without him." The lady said tearing up.

"If you have any questions just let the front desk know and they'll call me," I said.

"Let me walk you to the room alright?" I offered to which the lady nodded. I walked them to the man's room hearing the woman telling her daughter that her daddy was going to be alright which made me smile.

"Here we are," I said opening the door.

They both ran over to the man's side relief was written all over the woman's face as she held her husband's hand. The little girl was rambling off to her father even though he was still unconscious.

I smiled and bid farewells. I made my way to my office to start filling out paperwork for the man wanting to get it done as soon as possible. I put the man's discharge papers in a file and put it in my drawer ready for when he's allowed to leave. The family made me a little jealous. They were lucky to have their loved ones knowing their okay and being around them.

At first, when I started to work here I'd go to my cramped apartment and cry at night thinking about my family that fell apart so quickly. My life was ruined when I was 8 and after that, I slowly lost everyone and everything. I was forced to become a skilled doctor but I ended up enjoying it. It wasn't a pretty place and I did horrible things to survive. I was happy for all those families though, watching their faces light up knowing their loved one is okay always makes my day. It made me forget about my past. I'm glad I at least have someone who I can trust and rely on.

"Daydreaming again?" Jae Joon asked leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Holy shit" I jumped. "How long have you been standing there for?"

"Quite a while," He said uncrossing his arms and walking to my desk.

"Sorry, I was just thinking of a surgery I have to do this week" I smiled lightly.

"Is everything okay? You've been spacing out a lot more recently." He said grabbing my hand. "You can talk to me I'm always going to be here for you"

"Even if I did the worst thing ever?"

"What's wrong? You're worrying me" He said rubbing circles on my hand.

"It's nothing I swear"

"Why don't we go home early so you can rest," He said. "Plus we haven't had time to relax together without being at work mostly"

"What about-"

"No, we're going home I can tell you aren't feeling well." He said as he walked to the door. "Meet me at my office so we can leave"

"Fine" I sighed but he wasn't wrong.

This was unusual for him to leave early but I wasn't complaining he needed it more than me. I took off the hospital coat so I could put my actual coat on. I grabbed my things and logged out of my computer. I walked to the front desk to let the nurses know to call me if anything happens to my patient while I'm gone.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," The nurse said smiling. "You did an amazing job"

"Thank you" I smiled. "I try my best, have a good night"

"You as well," she said as I walked away.

I took my time walking to Jae Joon's office wondering when I should tell him. The thought raced through my head along with every worst-case scenario. What if I tell him and he breaks up with me? What if he doesn't think the same of me knowing my background? Will he get mad? If he gets mad how mad will he be? Should I even tell him?

I kept aimlessly walking not paying attention to anything around me too deep in thought. Why I'm suddenly feeling the full guilt of everything out of nowhere? I almost walked right past his office and I knew he saw it. He stared at me worry in his eyes before putting his coat on and grabbing his things.

"Shall we go?" He said.

"Yeah," I sighed as he put his hand behind my back.

The walk to the car was silent not a word I could think of at that moment. I kept looking straight too guilty to look at him. I knew I couldn't keep this secret up I'd rather tell him instead of someone else beating me to it. I just wanted to get home so I could tell him and cry in the guest bedroom. I knew he wouldn't be happy hell I wouldn't blame him. Once we made it to the car he opened the door for me like usual and he got in to start the car. He put one of his hands on my thigh and the other on the steering wheel his face changed to a look of worry as he started to drive.

"You've been distant lately," He said bluntly.

"I have?" I asked confused.

"You aren't as talkative to me anymore or not hugging me randomly or stuff like that for the last week" he looked over his eyes had a bit of sorrow in them but were gone in a second. "did I do something wrong?"

"No you did nothing wrong baby," I said reassuring him placing my hand on top of the hand in my thigh.

"You can be honest I want to know what's up," He said. "Shit"

"What?"

"Traffic," He said annoyed. "Standstill it looks like"

Fuck I just want to get home. I want to cry and tried to avoid that by looking out the window. I looked at the licenses of different cars but they couldn't stop him from seeing me tear up. The window reflected my face and I tried to avoid showing. I was stuck having nowhere for me to go. He sighed turning the car off knowing we weren't moving anytime soon. I wiped off whatever tears that were going to fall.

"I don't understand why you've been acting distant and it hurts" He looked forward. "If you want to break up tell me" His voice faltering.

"No, I would never break up with you." I was quick to hug him. "It would be the other way round"

"What does that mean?"

"I'm originally from the North as a doctor that's why you can't find many files of me because they're all fabricated. I escaped and still wanted to be a doctor." My voice started to get hysteric as I continued explaining. "I did so much horrible things and don't deserve someone like you and I don't know why I suddenly felt this way. That's why I wouldn't be upset if you wanted to break up I can pack up when we get home and I'll find a hotel to stay at"

The car was dead silent. I cried hiding in my coat wanting to disappear. I didn't deserve happiness and he didn't deserve to be lied to. I heard a sniffle and looked over seeing him tearing up.

"Why would I break up with you for something you couldn't control." He softly said looking down. "It's a lot to process but I wouldn't leave you"

"Jae-" He cupped my cheeks looking me straight in my eyes.

"I'll always love you, even if you killed someone. I promise"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner" I muttered placing my forehead on his.

"I don't blame you" He smiled lightly.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

[serede986]

Secret Relationship (Jumin and You)

~

It has been a while since you both decided on being more than friends. Before that,  Every weekend, Jumin asked you out to meet him for coffee or for a stroll in the park, or a picnic near river Han.

You both decided to keep things to yourself for now, at least until you were sure that you are going to continue as lovers. 

Certainly, since you've never behaved so comfortably with Jumin in front of RFA, let alone publically, they would question. But more importantly, they won't approve. They care about both of you. Let's just say you would reveal things when time feels right.

As you both were growing closer, hiding the thing was becoming more and more difficult.

There was one instance where all of the RFA was visiting places for RFA's upcoming party. While walking towards the place, Jumin decided to walk with you, all the way back. You both were pretty far, but not so much to hide the hands you both were holding.

His action was so sudden, you could feel the heat settling on your cheeks. Look at that smug look on his face.

As you were reaching the place, Yoosung called out for your help to get Seven off his back. While Jaehee turned to scold Seven, her eyes went on your hands.

Hurriedly you pulled your hand away, dropping your phone while doing so. Although this got everyone's attention, and a questioned look from Jaehee, you picked your phone and jumped on Jaehee's back, teasing her and having a laugh with Seven. As long as it gets people's attention away.

You could hear Jumin chuckling. That guy.

Second instance that happened on the same day. It was when you wanted to visit the washroom at the location. you started walking alone, since Jaehee seemed busy.

BAM!

All of a sudden, you were slammed into the wall. As you were about to scream for help, his voice calmed you down.

"Shh.. it's me." You open your eyes, his hands on your sides, resting on the wall. Your eyes widened, feeling his breath on your lips. His eyes staring in yours.

Only if your heart can burst out. You could feel your cheeks heating, getting light headed.

"Jumin... I-I'll pass out." You breathed out, unable to use your voice.

"Hmm..? Should I have my doctor check you?" Jumin whispered, dipping his head to nuzzle his nose against yours.

That wa-

"MC?! Where are you?" That seemed to be your queue. Losing consciousness, you fell in his arms.

"Mr. Han, have you seen- OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!" Jaehee rushed over to Jumin, who is now carrying you in his arms.

"MC didn't seem to be feeling well. It's been happening since morning, she also dropped her phone, which is very much unlike her." Jumin explained, holding you closer.

"Unlike her..? I'll call the doctor right away." Jaehee pulled out her phone, searching the phonebook.

"There would be no need. I-I'll have Driver Kim drop us to the hospital." Jumin stated, clearing his throat after.

"B-but-"

"If you'll excuse me.." Jaehee nodded, questioning back would cost her her job. Although it was sudden, Jaehee took note of the situation as she headed back to the rest of the RFA.

°•°•°

～⁠(⁠つ⁠ˆ⁠Д⁠ˆ⁠)⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆ how are you guys doing? I think I'm posting around a year later? Maybe more than that? Hope you're doing great and hopefully this work will be up to your expectation.

[ph4nth1ve]

I SAW YOU IN A DREAM - kohaku o. x  gen.reader

they both love astronomy, and fates that brings them to repeat the same sight over and over again.

!! Warnings : lower case intended, mentioned death of a character, reader losing memories/some kind of illness, small angst(?), mentions of greek mythology

"who are you?"

"n/n-han, stop joking around, we don't have all day if you wanted to see the stars, this is the time, we can't stand around just cuz' yer joking around."

not noticing how you've space out and stared at the boy's eyes for a while, it truly is mesmerising, it always makes you feel spellbinded.

y/n, you've never met this person before.

the soft pink haired boy smiled at person infront of him, feels like déjà vu, everything seems too real to be reality,

"yer just gonna keep staring?"

"um, sorry.."

"it's fine, let's go."

"where?"

"didn't you asked me to accompany you to stargazing?"

it feels like the summer breeze are arriving pretty soon, the skies were clear, there were only a lake, and some empty spots beneath the stars that were aligned at that time, it feels just like a dream, a nostalgic dream.

"sometimes i wonder what's so interesting about stars, yer always ramblin' about them to me"

"i think they're very pretty..."

The boy hummed in agreement, it was a peaceful night, nothing to be expected, it feels like a dream.

"nee, n/n-han"

"hm?"

"even with these stars twinkling above me in the sky, but i help that you're the only one on my mind."

"n/n. I'll always loved you from the moon and back. no matter how many times a memory will replay."

perhaps shock has eaten you up, or it's just that the breeze that brings in a different season, it is the gift from the gods to bless the land of humans, yet fate was so cruel, the three sisters of fates hates us.

"but pleaseー

keep remembering my love for you."

you opened your eyes to meet with a white room; the hospital, you've been here for as long as you can remember. the smells of alcohol and medical instruments swayed on the air, the room was provided with a window, reflecting the view outside.

waking up from your bed, someone beside you stood up and comes near you.

"l/n-san! did any dreams occurred? did you meet kohakun? the pink haired boy, a little short but has the same purple eyes you loved so much, did you meet him?" 

"kasa.."

"who are you talking about? who's kohakun?"

in the end, the sisters of fates believed it was for the better, blessing from the gods were cruel, but fates were much cruel as the deities that were suppose to share blessings to their creations.

he shall rest in eternity, waiting for his beloved to be returned their remembrance, it wouldn't be horrible, but perhaps, everything could've ended better, if those were done when the stars were aligned.

WC :  2,4k characters

Reblogs and notes are appreciated! <3

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII i finally made it, truthfully i have this drafted for at least 5 months already :SOB: i also made a few versions and demos of this, in total there’s 4 demos including this one and id say, im pretty proud of this one, i enjoy words that are foreign and ethereal, i guess i improved a lot and this work will be one that im most proud of :DDD

[lasenbyphoenix]

Unshakable Faith (2023)

Episode 30 Breakdown

The police team report back that all areas are secure and Police Captain Chen thinks the major target must be the full submarine blueprints, but Factory Chief Han advises he locked it back in the safe at the time of the fire and comfirms it's still there.

The police team see a demonstration of the delay mechanism on the acetylene and phosphorus ignition that was found in the burnt out workshop and Ji Danyang calculates a maximum of 5 hours possible for the trigger delay.

When Nurse Bai visits Secretary Lu in his dorm again, he is wary and wondering how she could have known something like the fire would happen to give him the time to photograph the blueprints, and asks her if she is a spy. He says if he gives her the camera then he cant turn back but he still cant bring himself to condemn her and gives her the camera on the promise they will go to Hong Kong together.

Officer Hongmei discharges herself from the hospital while Nurse Bai tries to get her to stay and rest and they meet a tired Ji Danyang who is worn out from the planning of the survival test. He tells them that they still need to find a suitable location and that Nurse Bai's Specialist Medical Unit will be needed again soon.

Nurse Bai delivers the camera film to the hiding spot and seamstress Miao passes it onto the Fake Li Qiuchen with the message that the experts are looking for a testing location. Meanwhile, the police team set up sentries on the mountain around the air raid shelter and guard as workmen prepare the space in secret.

Fake Li Qiuchen visits Dr Bai again to question if he wont rejoin the KMT, does that mean he's planning to report them, but Dr Bai says he doesn't care what they're doing, he just wants no part of it. In turn, he asks if Fake Li Qiuchen had coerced Nurse Bai into working with them but is told that they're only using Nurse Bai to force Dr Bai to help Snow Wolf kill Expert Chief Chu, and Fake Li Qiuchen agrees to arrange a meeting.

At the abandoned warehouse Dr Bai answers the phone call from Snow Wolf and tells them that if they don't show up he'll walk. He hangs up the phone and turns to leave but is stopped when a voice calls out to him. From behind a partition, Seamstress Miao appears and identifies herself as Snow Wolf and gives him the order to return to the field. Dr Bai complies, on the condition that they leave Nurse Bai out of it and Seamstress Miao agrees.

Assistant Welder Rui meets with Nurse Bai at the hospital under the ruse of having another nosebleed and she warns him about the investigation into the ignition trigger, and gives him an envelope of money from their superior.

The police team link a part of the ignition trigger to Assistant Rui, and Officer Hongmei advises that she had one of the welders inquire about Assistant Rui's apprenticeship, and learned that he'd been recommended to Master Welder Niu by someone who was recently caught as a spy. Master Welder Niu is called to the police office and confirms that he saw Assistant Rui destroying evidence. Master Welder Niu is angry that Assistant Rui is lying and suspicious and he works with the police to corner his apprentice, but Assistant Rui runs from the workshop with Officer Hongmei in pursuit.

...................................

I was so proud of Secretary Lu for working out that Nurse Bai was a spy and was hoping that he would destroy the camera or something but no. That mini camera wouldn't have been easy to use, I'd laugh if half of the photos came out blurry because Secretary Lu was nervous and looking over his shoulder the whole time he was taking them. I mean, there's no guarantee that whoever you're coercing has a lot of experience with photography and cameras in 1958 didn't have auto focus or anything.

"For the sake of their beautiful future." Gag. Oh Secretary Lu. Can he at least survive this to share a cell with Security Captain Li and they can bond over being dumbasses in love with the wrong person?

It's good to know that the KMT spies don't know everything thats happening in the factory and havent learned of the air raid shelter.

The seamstress is Snow Wolf! That would explain why she was growling at Lai Guangrun. Unless this is another diversion and she's covering for the real Snow Wolf. They've kept their face secret for this long, it wouldnt surprise me if it turned out to be someone else. So they need Dr Bai's medical expertise for their plan to kill Expert Chief Chu, by why so covert? Is that just because all of their other attempts have failed?

Confirmation that Assistant Rui went to kiddie spy school too. But your days are numbered now boy. I liked how Hongmei used one of the other welders to buddy up to Assistant Rui to question him. I was wondering what his involvement was about. And I feel sorry for Master Welder Niu, he's a fun and exuberant side character to watch and he doesn't deserve to have a dodgy apprentice.

Hongmei was too busy wanting to get out of the hospital and back to work, and Nurse Bai wouldn't take them if Hongmei wont, so despite the nice gesture our math man is left holding his fruit.

[viastro]

in a span of three months | joshua hong

ミ★ synopsis: in which you teach joshua how to live.

ミ★ genre: strangers to lovers!au, terminally ill!reader, angst, fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: mentions of depression (not mentioned heavily), implied suicidal thoughts and intention (very brief), major character death

ミ★ word count: 20,351

ミ★ pairings: joshua hong x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! here’s the longest oneshot i’ve ever written so i’d like to apologize in advance BSJKGBDKB i just wanted to mention that this isn’t necessarily realistic before you go into it, and that the reader’s illness is not mentioned in this oneshot as i didn’t want to explicitly list one. i hope you guys enjoy this oneshot, it’s my best work and i put a lot of time and effort into it <3

ミ★ taglist: @coppertrashi @magicalhannie @brinnalaine @minluvly @wonunuu @suhfluffy @shuajeong @euphorencia @imjustuhhvibing​ @minghao-will-be-the-death-of-me @shuahaeee @jaeyuni @sunflowergyeomie

january 2, 2021 

The date flashes back at you from your lockscreen, and a breath escapes you as you turn off your phone. Your leg bounces against the floor in anxiousness as you wait for him to tell you the results from your recent test.

“I’m sorry, yn.” You slowly look up towards your doctor, seeing the grave expression on his face. Your grip on the chair tightens when he folds his hands together, turning towards you. 

“We estimate that you only have three more months to live. We will give you medication…” The rest of his words are tuned out as your gaze falls down to the table, the sound of your heartbeat is loud against your ears. You bite the inside of your cheek, listening to it thrum. 

I’m dying, yet I can feel my heartbeat right now. I can hear it. It’s beating.

I’m alive.

You stand up from your chair when Dr. Park does, and you give him as bright of a smile as you can muster when you bow towards him. He stares at you with pity in his eyes, and you hate it.

You hate it so much.

“Eat whatever you want, do things you’ve always wanted to do. Live your life, yn. I’ll see you at your next appointment.” Dr. Park tells you, and you nod your head. Giving him a small smile, you grab your bag and walk out of the room, tightly squeezing the strap as you exit the hospital.

Once outside, you suck in a deep breath of air, having felt as if you were suffocating in that building the longer you were in it. Rubbing the back of your neck, you look over towards the Han River, seeing the Banpo bridge shine brightly during the night. 

Letting out a sigh, you head in the direction of the bridge, deciding to walk home rather than take the bus like you usually do. Your heart remains heavy as you look around at your surroundings, wondering what you should do during your last few months of living. 

It’s strange.

Having a known deadline on your own life.

As you make it onto the bridge, you turn your head to look out along the Han River as you walk. The slight wind from the water breezes past you during the night, and you somehow find that it’s the only thing able to calm you down from the raging storm within you. Letting out a small smile, you notice how pretty Seoul is at night.

With the city lights shining brightly back at you, the busy streets roaring with life even during the relatively late hours. The bright stars glowing down from the sky, surrounding the beautiful moon that reflects its light across the Han River. 

“Ah, life is beautiful.” You mutter softly, turning your head and looking forward. You raise an eyebrow when you see a blonde head of hair standing in front of the railing along the bridge, just staring out at the water. Coming to a stop, you stare at the person a few feet from you, wondering what they’re doing. 

Your eyes trail down to see his hands gripping the railing tightly, and you tilt your head at the sight. Taking a few steps forward, the man seems to have not noticed your presence. He just looks out across the water with a blank stare, the whites of his knuckles becoming more prominent when he tightens his grip again. At this point, you decide to interrupt.

“Hi.” You greet cheerfully, and the guy blinks out of his dazed state from the sound of your voice. He slowly turns his head towards you, and you feel warmth flood your face immediately at how ethereal this man is.

His platinum hair falls softly over his forehead, wisps of it flying up slightly due to the light wind. His deerlike eyes stare into yours, and you find that they emphasize his beautiful features that much more. However, the exhaustion is evident in his gaze.

“Hey.” The stranger replies, voice soft and airy, somehow matching his appearance even though he seems tired. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, stepping forward so that you’re now right beside him. His eyes widen slightly, before they relax to their normal size. He shrugs his shoulders, glancing over at the road when a car drives by. “Just standing on the bridge.”

You give him a close-lipped smile, tilting your head as you press on, “Why?” 

“Just cause.” 

You nod your head, turning around so that you can rest your forearms onto the railing. Raising your hand up, you rest your chin on the palm of your hand, letting out a sigh of content as you lay eyes on the beautiful scenery once again. The ethereal man turns to glance at you, wondering what you could possibly want.

“Live your life.” You say in a soft tone, and he simply blinks at you.

“What?” 

You turn your head towards the pretty man, “Life is short when you think about it. It can suck a lot of the time, as well as be unfair, but sometimes…” 

Your voice trails off as you look up at the stars, realizing just how small you are in this great, big universe. “Sometimes it can be beautiful.” 

The stranger tilts his head up and stares at the sky along with you, a comfortable silence settling over the two of you as you do so.

“I wish I could see it like you do.” You look over at him, finding that he’s still staring up at the sky. His breath is visible due to the cold temperatures, and you watch as he lets out a sigh. He turns towards you, giving you a heartbreaking smile, “Life hasn’t been kind to me.” 

The two of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and you find that you’re more similar than you originally thought. You feel the exact same way about life, and you’ve asked life for years, why you? Why did it have to be you? 

You could never find the answer.

And so, you smile at the stranger, who tilts his head at you, wondering how one can be so bright and cheerful. You reach into your pocket and pull out your phone, handing it towards him after you unlock it. He raises an eyebrow as he reaches out and takes it, “You know I could totally just take this and run, right?” 

You nod your head, letting out a quiet giggle that rings in the blonde’s ears. He finds the sound to be rather pleasant. “I know, but I have a feeling you’re not that type of person.”

He purses his lips, nodding his head in agreement. Glancing down at the cellular device, he sees your wallpaper, a photo of you holding a cat with a big smile on your face. His eyes trail back up towards your face, as if to ask what you want him to do with your phone. 

You sigh with a teasing look on your face, and you take the phone from his grasp, opening up the contacts menu before holding it back out towards him. “Put your number in.” 

The blonde’s eyes widen slightly, before he tentatively types in his number, handing it back to you. You grasp the phone in your hand, a breath leaving your lips when you finally learn his name.

“Why do you want my number?” He asks, and you look up from your phone, giving your new friend a smile. 

“Since life hasn’t been kind to you, I wanted to be.” You answer simply, and he stares into your eyes with an indecipherable emotion to them at your answer. 

After a moment, he turns his body towards the railing of the bridge again, staring out at the city without saying anything else. You follow suit, resting your forearms onto the cool metal as you breathe in the fresh air. 

“My name is yn.” You tell him in a soft voice, not expecting a response. A few minutes pass when you finally hear his voice say,

“My name is Joshua.” 

Joshua taps the eraser of his pencil onto his notebook, blankly staring off at the projector screen while he tunes out everything the professor is saying. The only thing on his mind is you, the person he met last week on the bridge. 

You haven’t contacted him yet, and he’s beginning to wonder if you were just a figment of his imagination. That deep down, he wanted to stay, so his consciousness created a positive person to appear right before him, convincing him to live another day.

“Yn.” Joshua whispers underneath his breath, and he tilts his head to the side, having not realized how nice your name was until this very moment. He only pays attention to the lecture when his professor announces the homework, and he quickly jots down the page numbers to read. Throwing his bag over his shoulder, he steps out of the auditorium and begins to walk off campus. 

Some university students would usually go and meet up with their friends after class to go and eat, or they’d go and meet their significant other to study together. Then there’s Joshua, who does neither of those things. 

“Hey Josh.” The blonde nods his head at his boss in greeting, letting the door close behind him as he walks over into the back to change. 

Everyday Joshua just goes through the motions, doing what he has to do to survive, as dramatic as that sounds. Go to uni, work a six hour shift to pay for his tuition, head home and study, then barely sleep. He wakes up the next day and does it all over again. 

Joshua has gotten used to the feeling of being numb.

He tiredly ties the apron onto his waist before going and washing his hands. The call of his name makes him glance up from the floor as he wipes his hands on a paper towel, his boss appears at the doorway, holding the notepad and pen towards him.

Joshua sends him a tight smile, stepping forward and taking the pen and paper from his hand. He feels himself get a pat on the back as his manager walks past him, and he lets out a breath, before walking out into the restaurant. 

His eyes trail over to two women seated at a booth, waiting for their orders to be taken. Joshua doesn’t feel like going over there yet, as the words you told him that night ring in his head. 

Live your life. 

Joshua scoffs quietly, remembering the bright smile you showed him. He looks down at the notepad in his hand, wondering how you could find life to be so beautiful when he’s never seen it that way. His head snaps up when he hears his name be called, and he immediately walks over to the table, clicking open the pen.

“Hi. What can I get started for you guys today?” 

“One sikhye please!” The woman nods her head at you, and you smile as you hand her the correct amount of money. She hands you your order number, and you walk over to the other side of the food stand, waiting to be called.

Your hands make their way into your pockets, your hand wrapping around your phone. Tilting your head, you remember the pretty blonde you met on the bridge. You suck in a deep breath of the cool air, looking up towards the sky to catch the beginning of the sunset. A smile makes its way onto your face at the different pink and orange hues of the sky.

You fail to notice the blonde head of hair looking in your direction, wondering how you always manage to have a smile on your face. It’s only when you feel that tingly feeling of someone staring at you that you look back down, turning your head to find those deerlike eyes boring into yours.

Your mouth drops open in surprise, and you grin happily, raising your hand up and waving towards the ethereal man. 

“Hi Jos-” You’re cut off when your order number gets called, and you hold up a finger at the blonde to signal him to wait, before quickly grabbing your sikhye and walking over to him. 

“Hi Joshua.” You finally greet properly, taking a tiny sip of the sweet rice drink as he stares at you quietly. He clicks his tongue, tilting his head at you, “You never texted me.” 

Pursing your lips at the fact that he was waiting, you slowly hold out the drink in apology. Joshua glances down at it, before looking back at you with a raise to his eyebrow. 

“Don’t you want it?”

“Take my apology drink.”

“But you just ordered this-”

“I can buy another one.” 

The corner of Joshua’s lip quirks up slightly, before he takes the drink from your grasp and takes a sip. You let out a smile, before pointing back towards the drink stand, “I’ll go buy myself another drink and then we can hangout.” 

You’re about to turn around when you feel a hand grasp your wrist, stopping you from walking over. Your eyes slowly glance down, before they trail back up to see Joshua staring at you, straw in his mouth as he takes another sip of the sikhye. 

He lets go of your wrist and walks over to the stand himself, ordering the drink for you. You’re left flabbergasted as he hands the employee his card, and you watch as a blush rises to the woman’s face the longer she communicates with the pretty man. 

Once he’s handed his order number, he walks back towards you, seeing the shocked look on your face. He raises his hand up and waves it in front of your face, and you finally look back into his eyes. 

“Why do you look so shocked?” Joshua asks, slightly biting on the straw as he awaits your response. Your mouth opens and closes, before you just let out a huff, reaching out and hitting Joshua’s arm softly. He still feigns pain, his hand reaching up and rubbing the area.

“Ow.”

You giggle at his reaction, “Thank you for the drink, Joshua. Except now I feel like the apology drink I gave you doesn’t count since you bought me one.” 

Joshua shrugs, looking back over towards the drink stand when he hears your order number be called. He shoots you a glance over his shoulder, “Consider it a gift.”

It’s only when Joshua walks back and hands you the sikhye that you wonder how he’s been doing. You stare at him for a moment as he places the receipt into his wallet, and you find that the darkness under his eyes is still evident. You even think they might be a bit darker than when you first saw him as he looks back up at you. 

“Is something on my face?” Joshua asks when he notices the furrow to your brow. Your eyes widen slightly and you shake your head, giving him a reassuring grin. “I just thought you were handsome.” 

Joshua’s mouth drops open at your honesty, while you internally panic at the fact that that was your coverup for staring at him. You watch as a tinge of pink appears on his cheeks, and you honestly find the sight so endearing that you have to look away. 

“Let’s go to the arcade!” You exclaim, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that you called him handsome as you point towards the colorful arcade down the block. Joshua raises an eyebrow, running a hand through his hair when he nods his head. “Okay.”

The two of you go on your way to the arcade, walking in a relative silence, the sounds of you both taking sips of your sikhye filling the quiet. Joshua pushes open the door for you, and you smile, nodding your head at him. 

“What a gentleman.” The blonde lets out a scoff at the nickname, and you giggle at his reaction once he steps inside after you. You both walk over to the machine that gives you the game card, and you quickly shove your credit card into the slot before Joshua can, effectively paying for the game card the two of you will share.

Joshua rolls his eyes as he takes another sip of his drink, “You should’ve let me pay for it.” 

You don’t respond, instead heading over to the racing games without another word. Joshua pauses when you glance over your shoulder with a smile, “Consider it a gift.” 

He watches as you skip towards the game with the motorcycle, the sight of your bright smile still imprinted in his brain. He shakes his head as if it’ll clear his thoughts, before following after you. 

Joshua’s head falls back onto his pillows as he stares up at the ceiling of his dark room, the comforter resting over him. 

He’s always had trouble sleeping. It started out by him sleeping later and later as he grew older, until he could only fall asleep at around 4 or 5 in the morning. 

Joshua’s eyes trail over to the window beside him, and he lets out a quiet huff when he sees that the moon isn’t shining back at him. The stars are a bit dim, but they’re still evident in the dark sky. 

He looks back up towards the ceiling, and he closes his eyes when the thought of your smile comes into mind again. 

Joshua glances at you when you let out another giggle, and he finds himself wondering for the nth time how you can be so happy. You rest your head onto his shoulder for a second while you laugh, and he freezes slightly at the contact.

“Your face when I beat you at air hockey was so funny.” You manage to say through your laughing fit, reaching up to cover your mouth with your hand in an attempt to stop more giggles from pouring through. Joshua rolls his eyes playfully, remembering how happy you were when you won the arcade game. 

“Was it really that funny?” Joshua asks, and you nod your head with an incredulous look on your face. He lets out a sigh, placing his hands into his pockets as he looks up towards the night sky. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, just enjoying the scenery as you calm down from the joys of the arcade. 

You turn your head to look at the blonde, “Did you have fun tonight?” 

The blonde doesn’t respond right away, instead letting his head fall so that he’s now staring at the sidewalk while the two of you walk to the bus stop. You nod, understanding that he probably didn’t enjoy the games as much as you did. 

“It’s okay if you didn’t. I know a few people who don’t actually like arcades-”

“I enjoyed it.” Joshua answers, turning to look at you with a close-lipped smile on his face. He watches as your eyes practically sparkle back at him from the sight. “Really?” 

Joshua nods his head, and you raise your hands up to your warm face, feeling accomplished. He looks away from you as the two of you continue to walk, finding you to be rather endearing. Once the two of you make it to the bus stop, you turn around to face the ethereal man, giving him a bright smile that makes his heart stutter within his chest. 

“I’m happy you had fun, Joshua. I’ll make sure to text you this time!” You say happily as the bus pulls up, and you raise your hand up to wave at him. 

Joshua keeps his hands in his pockets once you turn around and head onto the bus. He watches as you walk towards the window seat, immediately pulling open the window once you sit down. You give him another smile and a wave, and he tilts his head at you. 

It’s only when the bus pulls away from the curb that Joshua raises his hand up and waves back at you. 

Joshua’s eyes glance over to the window again, and he decides that you were brighter than all of the stars in the sky tonight. 

He manages to fall asleep earlier this time, around 2 am. 

Your smile was the last thing on his mind before he did so. 

Joshua sits at his desk, mindlessly doing his homework as the soft guitar instrumental plays in the background of his room. He taps the eraser against his bottom lip, before pressing the led onto the paper again.

The sound of his phone receiving a notification captures his attention, and he glances down at the cool metal, seeing an unfamiliar number. He slides up on his lockscreen and reads the message.

you: joshua ! it’s me yn >:D

The blonde lets out a breathless chuckle, lifting up his phone and sending a response back.

joshua: so you actually texted me this time

you: don’t make me feel bad ! D: i was busy after i met you that night 

i gave you my sikhye last week to make up for it !

The corner of Joshua’s lips quirks upwards at your use of emoticons, knowing that you most likely pouted as you typed the message.

joshua: it was very good

you: i know right

anyways, do you wanna hangout later today? i wanna go to the park to take pictures when the sun sets

joshua: so you’re using me as your professional photographer

you: of course :3

joshua: pft

you: see you at around 5 <3333

joshua: i’ll see you

The blonde sets down his phone, running a hand through his hair as he looks out his window. The blue skies stare back at him, and he watches as a few birds fly past. His eyes trail back over towards his laptop, and he sighs. 

“I’ll finish this assignment before I start to get ready.” 

It’s only a few hours later that Joshua’s walking towards the park, hands in his pockets as he listens to the sound of life around him. He looks around at his surroundings, about to enter the park entrance when he catches sight of a tteokbokki stand.

He watches as a couple hands the lady some money, before she prepares their bowls that will hold the yummy rice cake. He specifically eyes the mozzarella cheese she layers over it, and Joshua suddenly wonders when he became hungry.

“I wonder if yn would want some.” Joshua mutters to himself, tilting his head the longer he debates on whether or not to spend his money.

He fails to notice you standing not too far from him, smiling as you watch him practically waddle in place as he stares at the food stand. You walk up to the blonde, reaching out and resting your hands on both of his arms, peering over his shoulder.

“Are you hungry?” Joshua chokes on his saliva at your sudden appearance, causing you to double over in laughter and apologies as you try to help him breathe properly. He squints at you when he finally regains his composure, still clearing his throat as he pats his chest. 

“I’m literally so fucking sorry.” His eyes turn into slits at your apology, watching as your shoulders shake from the laughter you’re trying to hold back. Joshua gently pushes you with his hand, before turning around and walking into the park, tteokbokki now forgotten.

“Joshua! I’m sorry!” You laugh from behind, walking faster in order to catch up to him. Joshua doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t pick up his pace either, instead letting you hurry to his side. You smile at him, peeking your head in front of his face so that he can look at you. “Do you forgive me?”

“You thought me choking was funny.” 

“True.” You admit, and Joshua scoffs at your answer, rolling his eyes teasingly as he nudges you with his shoulder again. You grin happily, nudging him back as you pull out your phone from your pocket. 

“The sun is setting which means we probably only have 20 minutes to take the best sunset photos known to man. You’re my designated photographer today, remember?” Joshua begrudgingly takes the phone from your grasp, and you walk onto the relatively empty field of grass, raising your arms up towards the sky. The blonde just lets out a sigh loud enough for you to hear as he goes onto the camera app, 

“Ah, what a tragic life I live.” 

“You should be happy that you’re photographing such beauty!” You shout, and the corner of Joshua’s lip quirks up when he sees the furrow to your brow. He lifts up the phone so that you’re in frame, but peeks his head out from behind it.

“Do you want me to just take a billion photos?” He asks, and you give him a thumbs up. The blonde nods his head, going back into photographer mode as he starts to take photos of you. 

You’re quite surprised at how seriously Joshua’s taking this photography gig, with the way he’s angling the camera and the straight face he has on. You find yourself giggling at the sight, causing the blonde to pause when he sees your smile through the camera. 

Your eyes widen slightly when you see him stiffen, realizing your laughter might’ve accidentally thrown him off his game, “Was my giggling bad? Sorry!”

Joshua shakes his head immediately at your apology, lowering your phone from his face so that you can see him properly. It’s as if your heart stops when you do look at him.

His platinum hair is flowing a bit with the wind, similar to when you first met him that night on the bridge. His deerlike eyes are boring into yours, and you find a tinge of pink dusting across his cheeks as he runs a hand through his hair. 

Joshua hides his face behind your phone again, wanting to capture your reaction when he says, 

“Don’t apologize. Your smile is pretty.”

Your mouth drops open at the compliment, having not received one from the past couple weeks of knowing the man. Joshua captures the moment on your phone, a breath leaving his lips when he sees a smile make its way onto your face. 

“Thank you.” You mutter, radiance to your features as you start posing again underneath the sky painted with various shades of pink and purple. He nods his head as he continues to capture more photos of you, silently wondering how he finds you to be prettier than the beautiful sunset behind you.

“No problem.”

You stare into those lovely brown eyes with a determined look on your face, making the blonde raise an eyebrow at you in confusion. He reaches his hand out towards you, and you stare at it, wondering what he’s going to do. 

“Ow!”

It only results in you rubbing your forehead with a glare, while Joshua just goes back to drinking his coffee—now happy about flicking your forehead. You slam your fists gently onto the wooden table, and the ethereal man just stares at you in silence.

“You know what we should do?” You ask, and Joshua stays quiet, knowing you’re going to answer the question anyways. A grin makes its way onto your face as you give him jazz hands, “Go to the store so that I can buy groceries because my fridge is low.” 

Joshua lets out a sigh, giving you an unimpressed look as he turns to face out the window. He’s not surprised, really. The last time the two of you hung out was just Joshua accompanying you to the library so that you wouldn’t have to return your books alone.

“Come on! I’ll buy you any snacks you want while we’re there. Besides, grocery shopping is fun.” Joshua continues to sip from his drink, somehow not surprised that you find restocking your food supply to be fun either.

“Well, more fun when you’re with someone at least.” You correct, and the blonde finally peeks at you, seeing the knowing smile on your face. He glances out the window, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to appear indifferent. “As long as you buy me the snacks I want.”

“Of course, Joshua. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t buy you your favorite snacks?”

“No, not those snacks. Those are expensive.” Joshua just stares at you in silence, bag of chips in hand as he watches you reach out towards the off-brand version. You pick up the bag, holding it out towards the pretty man and waving it for good measure. “These are cheaper and taste the same. Trust me, Joshua.”

“You told me that you’d buy the snacks I wanted if I went grocery shopping with you.” Joshua mutters with a pout to his lips, and you simply flash him an apologetic smile as you toss the bag into the cart while taking the original one from his grasp and returning it. The blonde scoffs, nudging you with his shoulder, and you giggle as you walk off towards the next aisle. “Yes, but we’re on a budget here.” 

Joshua pushes the cart after you, listening contently as you explain what you’re missing at your apartment and what food you should make for dinner. His eyes follow your movements as you gesture with your hands, now explaining a story of how you almost set your toy kitchen on fire when you were younger. 

Your eyes twinkle underneath the fluorescent light, and your lips are turned upwards in a warm smile as you look back on the memory. Your voice is soft but cheerful as you tell him about the memory while throwing in some items into the cart, and Joshua finds that there’s a lump in his throat as he watches you giggle.

You turn your head to look at the blonde, just to find his pretty eyes staring at you with an indecipherable emotion in them. Feeling warmth flood your face from his stare, you look down at the cart to place the box of tea in your hands. 

“What’s on your mind?” You ask, proceeding to walk out of the aisle to go to the bread section. Joshua stays quiet for a moment, staring at your fingers peeking out of your sweater paws as your arms swing back and forth.

When you don’t hear a response, you move to glance back at him, only to pause when he pushes the cart forward so that he’s now walking right beside you. Joshua raises his hand up and fondly pats your head, making your eyes widen at the sweet gesture. 

You slowly turn towards him, just to find the smallest hint of a smile on his face. Warmth floods your face at the lovely sight, and you can’t help but feel slightly disappointed when Joshua’s hand falls back onto the cart handle. 

The two of you gaze into each other's eyes in silence for a moment, and you begin to wonder when that hint of a sparkle began to show in Joshua’s eyes over the last month of the two of you hanging out. He turns away when he feels the tips of his ears turn red, looking over towards the bread aisle. You watch as he takes a step forward with the cart as he suddenly says,

“Let’s get this bread.” 

You let out a loud laugh at the old meme, startled at the fact that Joshua even said that as you follow after him. 

As Joshua watches you choose the bread you want while also picking out some cookies for the two of you to share on the way to your apartment, he finds himself feeling content for the first time in a long time. 

“Hope you enjoy it.” Joshua says as he places the last dish onto the table, giving the customers a tight smile before walking back over to the register. He rests his head into his hands, grimacing at the oncoming migraine he knows will come later in the hour. 

He peeks through his fingers to look at the clock, seeing that he’s still on shift for another three hours. The blonde lets out a quiet groan, wondering if his boss has any aspirin he could possibly take.

The sound of the bells chiming from the door opening is what has him look up, trying to mask the pain from his headache as he stares towards the entrance. His eyes widen slightly when he sees you standing there, a bright smile on your face as you wave at the pretty man. 

“Yn?”

You quickly walk up towards Joshua, feeling happy that you were able to come visit him during his shift. You slam your hand on the counter that keeps the two of you separated, while raising ₩20,000 towards his face with your other. Joshua simply raises an eyebrow at you, wondering why you look so determined.

“I’ll have your favorite dish from here and for you to eat it with me during your break.” 

“Are you trying to buy me, yn? My favorite dish is only 7,000 won-” 

“Now don’t make me sound like a bad person! You should be grateful I’m buying us food—your favorite nonetheless.” You whine, and Joshua just chuckles at the pout to your lips. You squint when he doesn’t take the money from you, only for your mouth to drop open in protest when you see him pull out his card.

“Joshua!”

“I’ll pay for the meal. It’ll keep me safe since you wanted to buy me-”

“I did not!” You laugh, watching as the receipt comes out from the printer after he pays for the meal. He places his card back into his wallet, before motioning towards a booth near the wall. “Go sit down, I’ll let my boss know I’m going on my 30.” 

You nod your head, walking over to the booth and sitting down on the rather worn out cushions. While you wait for Joshua, you rest your head onto your arms over the table, closing your eyes. A sad smile forms on your face when you hear your heartbeat in your ears, a reminder that your time left here is dwindling. 

It’s been a month and a few days since you found out about your ill-fate on that cold, January night. 

However, you haven’t found yourself thinking about your inevitable doom as often as you thought you would. Instead, you’ve been spending your days hanging out with Joshua, and using your nights to plan out the next place the two of you should go to.

You don’t know when you decided to spend your last three months trying to help Joshua see the beauty in life.

But as you look up from the table and see his pretty eyes starting to sparkle at you when he places the food down onto the surface, the corners of his lips quirking upwards as he explains how his boss was teasing him,

You realize that you wouldn’t want to spend them any other way.

The two of you walk down the street side by side, taking sips of the sikhye you bought for the both of you to make up for the meal. The comfortable silence is settled over you guys like a blanket, not needing any words to be able to spend time with each other contently.

You take a peek at the beautiful man, suddenly noticing that the dark eye bags that once adorned his features have diminished significantly. The roots of his platinum hair are beginning to grow, but it seems like he doesn’t really care. 

You wouldn’t care if you looked like Joshua, either.

He’s too pretty.

“Who?” 

God fucking damn it.

You immediately look away from Joshua’s curious gaze, warmth flooding your face at the fact that you just blatantly announced that he was too pretty when the two of you were walking in a relatively comfortable silence. 

“Cha Eunwoo from Astro.” You lie, and the blonde nods his head in agreement after a moment, turning back to face the front. Silence falls over the two of you again, and you’re incredibly grateful that he didn’t ask more questions.

But you also find yourself a bit disappointed at the lack of them.

When the two of you end up at the front of your apartment building, you both turn towards each other to say your goodbyes. However, as the streetlight lays over Joshua’s blonde hair, almost mimicking the appearance of a halo, you realize you don’t really want the night to end.

“Thank you for visiting me at work, yn. Make sure to text me when you get into your apartment.” Joshua tells you with his soft voice. You hum in response, shifting from one foot to another. “Thank you for the food. I’ll try to visit more.” 

Joshua nods his head, raising his hand up to send you a tentative wave. “I’ll see you later, yn.” 

You smile softly, waving back at him as he turns around and starts to walk away. An internal battle goes on inside you as you try to figure out what you want to do, watching as his figure gets smaller as the distance grows between you.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you shout out:

“Do you wanna come in and watch a movie with me?!”

Joshua pauses at the question, like, physically and mentally freezes. His eyes are wide as he stares at the pavement, and he wonders why his heart is beating so fast in his chest at the question. There’s a small breeze that passes the both of you, and you bite your bottom lip.

The silence is deafening.

Joshua slowly turns to glance at you, and you feel your heart sink slightly at the shocked expression on his face. You’ve come to realize as the two of you look at each other, that you asking him to come in was a mistake. So you open your mouth to tell him he doesn’t have to,

“Okay.” Your mouth remains open at his answer, believing that you must’ve just imagined him agreeing to your suggestion. 

And so you respond, “Heh?”

Joshua huffs, walking over so that the two of you are only a foot apart. He squints at you, and you furrow your eyebrows in response to the expression on his face.

“Yes. I’ll come in and watch a movie with you.” 

“Oh.” 

The two of you stare at each other for another moment. With you just gauging what he said while Joshua stands in silence, amusement and shyness written across his features. 

You suddenly let out a gasp, the fact that he said yes now sinking in as you step over towards the entrance and slide your card so that the doors will open. Joshua chuckles at the obvious embarrassment on your face when the doors finally open and you gesture towards the inside of the lobby.

“Let’s go up.” You say with a tight smile, and the blonde nods his head, following after you as the doors shut behind the both of you. 

The way to your apartment is rather quiet, except for the quiet chuckles Joshua lets out whenever he glances at you and you having to elbow him in the stomach. 

When you finally unlock your door and the two of you step inside, you suddenly realize all of your medication that you have to hide. You turn to face Joshua as he slips off his shoes and steps into the pair of slippers you have for guests, and his beautiful eyes land on you, signaling that you have his attention.

“You can go and sit on the couch, I just need to tidy up a bit.” The blonde nods his head, watching as you scurry off to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you. He lets out a breath, before walking over towards the couch, gaze travelling around your cozy apartment. 

His eyes latch onto a framed photo on the table next to the couch, and he carefully picks it up, feeling warmth flood his chest at the sight. 

You’re standing underneath a fully bloomed cherry blossom tree, a bright smile on your face as you look at the camera. Your arms are lifted up towards the sky in excitement, a habit of yours that Joshua has noticed in the month that he’s known you. 

He gently places the photo back down onto the table when he hears your bedroom door open, and he looks over to see you now dressed in a set of strawberry pajamas. The sight is so precious to behold that Joshua lets out a soft smile, and your eyes widen when you see it.

He smiled. This is the first time you’ve seen him smile.

“Are my pajamas funny to you?” You squeak out in an attempt to not make him uncomfortable by mentioning his smile. Holding back from slapping yourself at your strange tone, you just watch as Joshua nods his head, an emotion akin to warmth flooding his beautiful eyes as he stares at you. 

“I expected nothing less from you, yn.” Joshua responds softly, and you find no sign of teasing in his voice. You cough into your shoulder, breaking the eye contact as soon as you feel heat rush up to your face. Reaching out towards the remote, you turn on the TV and point towards the couch. 

“Go sit and choose a movie, I’ll go and get us some snacks.” You tell the blonde, and he plops down onto the worn out sofa as you walk into your kitchen. His eyes trail after you for a moment, before he turns back to the TV and starts scrolling through your Netflix.

You come back a few minutes later with snacks in hand, just to smile at the movie he chose. Joshua glances towards you, quietly thanking you for the snacks as you settle down beside him, making sure to place a bit of distance between the two of you. 

“Have you watched this?” Joshua asks as he takes a bite of popcorn, and you nod your head, turning to him with a grin. “A Silent Voice is one of my favorite movies.” 

Joshua’s mouth drops open into an ‘o’ shape, before suggesting if you want to choose another movie. You shake your head, instead grabbing the remote from the table and pressing play. 

“You chose it, so we’re going to watch it.” You mumble, leaning back into the couch and taking a sip of your water. The blonde’s eyes linger on you as the opening of the movie plays, wondering how one person could be so kind, so bright. 

You feel Joshua’s eyes on you. You know that he’s staring at you. 

But you know that your heart would just go feral and your face would turn warm if you look back. So you blindly reach out towards him with your hand, turning his head to face the TV instead. You retract your hand afterwards, a small smile on your face as you notice Joshua shaking his head in disbelief at your actions.

“Watch the movie.” You mutter, warmth flooding your cheeks as you try to appear indifferent. The blonde takes another bite of popcorn before turning back towards the TV, trying to suppress his chuckles.

The two of you watch the movie in silence, except to offer each other snacks or to shit on one of the characters you each dislike. 

It’s nice. Joshua thinks to himself at one point, turning to glance at you when you giggle at a specific scene. He looks back at the TV, biting back a small smile from forming on his face, This is nice.

When the movie hits the 45 minute mark, Joshua finds that you haven’t been taking any sips of your water or stealing some pieces of his popcorn. He’s about to comment on one of the characters when he feels a weight slump onto his shoulder. 

“Yn?” Joshua asks quietly, turning his head to look down at you. Your eyes are closed, mouth slightly open as you release puffs of air. He lets out a smile when he realizes you fell asleep, reaching out and patting your head softly. 

“Silly.” He mumbles, before taking a glance at the clock and sees that it’s already midnight. The blonde carefully grabs the remote that sits on the table and turns off the TV, before moving the snacks and drinks off the couch to the best of his ability as he tries not to wake you up.

Once he’s done with that, he carefully settles you down onto the cushions so that you’re laying comfortably. He takes the throw blanket from the back of the couch and lays it over your body. Letting out a breath once he’s finished, he grins at the angelic expression on your face as you sleep peacefully.

“I’ll see you later, yn.” Joshua says softly, before turning around to walk towards your door. 

Except for the hand that grasps onto his own, preventing him from taking another step. 

He slowly turns to glance down at you, seeing you with your eyes still closed, hand holding onto his. Joshua makes a move to carefully release the grip you have on him, but freezes when you say in a soft voice,

“Stay.” 

Joshua stares at you, unsure of what to do as you continue to hold his hand. 

“You don’t want me to stay, yn.” Joshua mutters, an indecipherable feeling flooding him when your grip on his hand tightens a bit. 

“Stay with me, Joshua.” 

And so he does. 

He scoots you over on the couch, wondering whether or not he’s gonna fall to his inevitable doom during the middle of the night as the two of you can hardly fit on the small surface. Carefully, he lays onto his back, staring up at your ceiling as silence fills the room, the fuzzy throw blanket covering you both. 

You turn over so that you’re facing him, and your hand falls onto his stomach. The blonde just listens to the sound of your steady breathing, wondering how you fell asleep so fast as he feels himself beginning to become drowsy. After a few minutes, his eyes softly fall shut, breathing now matching your own.

Joshua finds that sleep comes easier tonight.

You’re seated on the bench, waiting for Joshua to arrive as you stare at the date on your phone.

february 17, 2021

Letting out a breath at the harsh reality check, you tap your shoe against the pavement, turning off your phone to look out towards the road.

You have a month and a half left. 

“When did time move so fast? Whenever I was in the hospital it moved so slow.” You mutter, a sad smile gracing your features as you look around at all the people walking past you. Turning your head, you suddenly lock eyes with those  deerlike eyes you’ve come to know. 

Your once sad smile turns into one of pure joy as you stand up from the bench, waving your hands excitedly as Joshua walks over to you. The blonde reaches out and pats your head in greeting once he’s a foot away, and you chuckle in response, ignoring the fact that your heart rate is a bit faster now.

“How were classes?” You ask as the two of you begin walking towards the cat café. Joshua mentioned in passing a week ago that he wanted to go to a cat café, so you set up a reservation for the two of you. 

The blonde purses his lips, realizing that he’s been enjoying attending classes a bit more as of recently. You gaze at him expectantly, grinning when Joshua simply just nods his head and looks back at you. “It was alright. I was excited thinking about the cat café though, so I’ll probably have to add some stuff to my notes later.” 

“I expected you to be more of a dog person, if I’m being honest.” You state, and Joshua looks back towards the front, letting out a small grin. 

“I am.” 

“Then what are we doing going to a cat café that I made reservations for a week prior?” 

The blonde shrugs his shoulders, turning to you with mirth filling his pretty eyes. He motions towards your phone, and you raise an eyebrow, raising it up so that the two of you can see it as it unlocks. Your mouth drops open when you see your homescreen, the photo of you and your old friend’s cat that was taken a couple years back, and all the pieces suddenly come together. 

“Joshua! Did you only say you wanted to go to a cat café because you knew I liked cats? That ruins the whole purpose of this-” 

Joshua cuts you off by simply holding open the door to the cat café, and you blink in a state of stunned silence, having not realized that the two of you have already arrived. He chuckles, “I’m a dog person, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like cats. I’ve always wanted to go to one, so hurry up and go in.”

Pursing your lips, you walk into the café, but not without poking the middle of Joshua’s stomach as you do so, letting out a satisfied grin at the sound of his quiet squeak. Your mouth immediately drops open when a black and white cat snuggles up to your legs, and you kneel down, petting the soft fur as you let out inaudible excited sounds. 

Joshua lets the door close behind him, the sound of the bells attached to the door letting out a little ring throughout the café. He glances down, seeing you happily petting the cats before the two of you have even ordered. 

“Yn, I’ll go order for us.” Joshua tells you, and you simply nod your head without a verbal response, still softly squealing as more cats walk up to you. The blonde lets out a breath, shaking his head with the hint of a smile on his face as he heads over to the register to place your guys’ order.

You regretfully stand up from the floor, hoping the cats will follow you as you walk over to the table you reserved. You sit down in the booth, watching as Joshua converses with the employee as he orders the food and drinks. 

Resting your chin on the palm of your hand, you smile fondly when Joshua glances around to find you. Your heart warms when his eyes finally land on you, a grin forming on his face as he walks over to you. 

“There was a cat laying on the table behind the employee at the register. He was so cute, I hope he comes over to our table.” Joshua tells you as soon as he sits down into the seat across from you, placing the receipt onto the wooden surface. You open your mouth to respond, only to let out a quiet squeal when a cat jumps onto the empty space beside you. 

“Hi pretty!” You greet, sparkles in your eyes as the cat nuzzles against your hand, asking for more pets. Joshua smiles at the sight, unlocking his phone and taking a photo of you happily petting the tabby cat. The sound of the camera shutter catches your attention, and you turn to glance at the source, seeing Joshua smiling fondly down at his phone screen. 

“Did you take a photo of me playing with the beautiful cat?” You ask with a teasing grin on your face, not expecting an answer from the pretty man. You stroke the cat’s head fondly, only for your hand to stutter when Joshua says, 

“You looked cute.” 

A brief moment of silence passes between you, with Joshua staring at his phone, and you listening to your heart beat against your ears as warmth floods your face. Your brain tries to formulate a response, but it can only form inaudible screeching noises. So instead, you turn your head to glance at the blonde, only for your eyes to widen when you see a fluffy grey cat trying to get his attention.

“Joshua!” 

“What?” He asks, looking up at you when he hears the urgency in your tone. You point towards the cat sitting patiently beside his chair, and Joshua furrows his eyebrows in confusion, turning to where you pointed, only for his eyes to widen when he locks eyes with the cat.

“You followed me from the register!” Joshua exclaims in a soft voice, reaching down to pick up the cat. You let out a bright smile as Joshua coos at the precious animal, petting the cat softly as his eyes sparkle with joy.

“Yn, this is the cat I wanted to show you.” He tells you, letting out a soft chuckle when the cat nuzzles his head into Joshua’s chest. You nod your head, about to respond when the waitress walks up to your guys’ table and begins to place your order down onto the surface. 

“Thank you so much!” You say, and the waitress gives you a smile, bowing her head in response. She makes a move to leave, only to stop when she sees you and Joshua continue to play with the cats that stayed near you both. 

“Would you like me to take a photo of the two of you?” You and Joshua pause, both turning to glance at the waitress as she stands by your table, a knowing smile on her face. 

You and Joshua don’t have a single photo together in the month and a half that you’ve known each other. You’re not sure how he feels about his photo being taken, as he’s usually the one behind the camera rather than in front of it when the two of you are together.

Taking a peek at Joshua to see his reaction, you notice the indecipherable look on his face, and that’s how you know his answer. You give the waitress a small smile, moving to open your mouth when you see Joshua’s hand outstretched towards her through your peripheral vision. 

You turn your head to look at him, only to see that he’s giving her a grin, phone in hand as he nods his head. “That’d be nice, thank you.” 

Joshua lifts up the cat in his lap and stands up from his chair, taking a step forward and sitting down in the booth beside you. You continue to stare at him in silence, the slight shock evident on your features when he finally turns to glance at you. He gives you a soft smile, before pointing towards the waitress preparing to take your guys’ photo. 

“Say cheese!” She says, but you continue to stare at Joshua, watching as he smiles at the camera, raising the cat’s paw as if he’s saying hello. Warmth floods your heart as you turn towards the camera, a bright smile on your face as you hold up your cat’s paw as well, matching Joshua’s pose.

As you lay in bed hours later, you turn your head towards your bedside table when you hear the vibration of your phone. Reaching out, you pick up the cool metal, seeing a few messages from Joshua.

joshushushu: [attachment 4 images] 

thank you for taking me to the cat café :3

i think you’re some sort of cat whisperer based on how many cats came up to our table lol

it’s late, so you’re probably asleep

i’ll text you in the morning ^^

sweet dreams, yn

You tap on the images Joshua sent, and you let out a smile when you see the first photo is of you smiling happily down at the tabby cat, softly petting her head. Downloading the image, your thumb swipes across the screen, and you feel warmth flood your face at the fact that it’s the photo of the two of you. Except you’re not staring at the camera.

You’re staring at Joshua.

There’s a fond smile on your face, eyes sparkling brightly at him as he smiles at the camera, seemingly having no idea of the fact that you’re staring at him rather than the camera. Biting the inside of your cheek, you download the image and swipe to the left, now seeing the photo of both you and Joshua smiling at the camera, a cat paw in hand as you each make them wave for the photo. 

You download the photo before swiping to the left one more time, and your breath hitches when you lay eyes on the image.

You’re laughing happily down at the tabby cat who was protesting the grabbing of the paws for the photo, not paying attention to posing anymore. While Joshua is now staring at you, the softest of smiles on his face as he watches you laugh with the cat. 

You let out a shaky breath, zooming into the photo and seeing that he really is looking at you. 

He’s looking at you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world.

You download the image, a small smile on your face as you go to your settings and replace the homescreen you’ve had for the last two years, exiting the app to now see the photo of you and Joshua as your wallpaper. The warmth from the photo covers you like a blanket, and you turn off your phone, placing it back down onto your bedside table. 

You roll over onto your side and close your eyes, ignoring the harsh reality check that’s looming in the back of your mind in order to try and retain that happy feeling.

You fall asleep with lingering thoughts of pretty cats and Joshua Hong’s smile.

“Thank you, have a good rest of your day.” Joshua says warmly as he hands the to-go bag to the customer. She gives him a smile, reaching into her pocket to take out ₩15,000 and place it onto the table. The blonde’s eyes widen slightly, and he looks back up at her in a stunned silence, as if to ask if she really means it. 

The woman nods her head, “You deserve it. Thank you for the food.” 

Joshua watches as she leaves the restaurant, still shocked as he watches her figure disappear out the door. He glances back down at the ₩15,000, reaching out and picking it up from the counter, eyeing the money for a moment. 

“I’ve been working here for six months.” Joshua mutters quietly, taking the ₩15,000 and placing it into his apron. He lets out a grateful smile, grabbing the spray bottle and towel to go and clean some tables. 

It was the first tip he’s ever received.

“See you on Friday!” Joshua calls out as he pushes back the curtain to exit the kitchen, only to stop and turn back when he hears his boss call out to him. The older man walks over to Joshua, grinning and resting a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. 

“I just wanted to tell you that you look great lately.” Joshua raises an eyebrow, wondering what could’ve changed. He does a onceover of his own appearance, and his boss lets out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“I mean you in general. You look happier, brighter even. I’m happy for you.” Joshua blinks in surprise, before letting out a small smile. He bows his head as his thanks, and his boss pats his shoulder once more and turns around to walk back towards his office. 

Joshua lets out a breath, before closing the curtain behind him and walking over towards the exit. He tilts his head, “How does a person look happy?” 

He pushes open the doors and moves to step out from under the cover, only to pause when he registers the rain falling onto the road. He sighs, glancing down at his empty hands, cursing himself for not bringing an umbrella. 

“Guess I have to sprint-”

“Joshua!” The blonde’s eyebrows furrow at the voice, and he looks up, seeing you hurrying over with a bright yellow umbrella. It’s a stark contrast to the rather gloomy atmosphere and all the black umbrellas around you. His heart rate picks up at the sight of your smile, watching as you make your way over until you’re standing a couple feet away from him.

“How’d you know I forgot my umbrella?” Joshua asks teasingly as you hand him the yellow umbrella, taking it from your grasp and holding it over the two of you as you begin to walk down the sidewalk. 

“Had an intuition.” You answer with a grin, and he rolls his eyes. The two of you update each other on how your days were, chuckles exchanged as you explain how you made the best kimchi fried rice of your life. 

“You should make it for me sometime.” Joshua says, and you peek at him, smiling and nodding your head. 

“Of course, Joshua.” 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, walking close beside each other in order to fit under your small umbrella. It’s when you’re close to Joshua’s apartment, and the streets are relatively quiet, that Joshua glances over and notices your hand sticking out of the umbrella. He watches in silence as you let the rain hit your skin, moving your hand as if it were a wave in the ocean.

“Your hand is getting wet.” Joshua points out, and you pause, turning to him as warmth rushes to your face at the fact that he caught you. You give him a bashful smile, nodding your head as you let your arm fall back to your side. “Yeah.” 

“Why?” You notice that he looks genuine, there’s no teasing tone in his voice, no mirth in his gaze as he stares at you. He just wants to know why you were letting your own arm get wet. You break the eye contact, looking down at the ground as the two of you continue to walk. 

“I just realized I’ve never played in the rain before.” 

Joshua stares at you for a moment longer, having not seen you so shy about something you wanted to do before. He lets out a breath, turning away as he reaches up and closes the yellow umbrella, promptly removing the shield that had been protecting the two of you from the rain.

Your eyes widen as you feel the rain hit you, and you turn your head, seeing Joshua place your umbrella down on the sidewalk. He looks back towards you, raising an eyebrow when he sees the shocked expression on your face. 

Joshua simply just closes his eyes and tilts his head up towards the sky, outstretching his arms as he feels the rain soak his clothes. That’s all you need to see for a smile to finally form on your face, and you let out a laugh, raising your arms into the air and spinning around. 

Joshua opens his eyes when he hears your laugh, and he looks over at you—only to feel his breath get taken away. The rain falls softly from the sky, landing on you as you laugh happily, a bright smile on your face. Time seems to slow down as he stares at you, heart stuttering in his chest as he watches you spin around, pure joy radiating from your features. 

He’s reminded of the first time the two of you met on the Banpo bridge almost two months ago, when you told him that life was beautiful and he didn’t understand how you could see it that way.

“I wish I could see it like you do.” Joshua mutters, and you look over at him, finding that he’s still staring up at the sky. His breath is visible due to the cold temperatures, and you watch as he lets out a sigh. He turns towards you, giving you a heartbreaking smile, “Life hasn’t been kind to me.” 

As Joshua watches you dance in the rain, he realizes that he finally understands what you mean. 

Life is beautiful.

You lay in bed, still shivering even after having taken a hot shower as soon as you finished dancing in the rain with Joshua a couple hours prior. With a shaking hand, you pull up the comforter closer to your chin, wondering when you’ve become so frail, weak you should say.

“At least Joshua hasn’t noticed anything.” You mumble, knowing that your time left is short as you’ve been feeling more tired as the days go by. Rolling over, you look out the window to try and get sleepy, seeing the moon staring back at you. 

Your hand slips out of the covers, reaching out and grasping the air as you tried to reach for the moon. Letting your arm fall back onto the bed, you let out a breath.

You always wondered if you’d ever be able to reach the moon and the stars when you were younger. 

“Yn?” Turning your head, you see Joshua standing by the door to his bedroom. His blonde hair falls softly over his forehead, almost hiding his pretty eyes from sight. You watch as he walks over, reaching out and resting his hand over your head when he notices you shivering. 

“Do you want another blanket? You’re shivering.” Giving him a soft smile, you shake your head as you simply pull the comforter up more. 

“Why are you still awake?” You ask, and he stares at you for a moment. 

The corner of his lips quirk upwards, “I should be asking you the same thing.” 

“Touché.”

Joshua chuckles, patting your head fondly before pointing back towards the bedroom door. You peek through the doorway, seeing his dark living room. “I’ll go back to the couch. I just wanted to check on you.” 

It’s when he’s about to leave that you reach out and grasp his wrist softly, promptly stopping him from taking another step. He turns to look back at you, seeing the same shy look on your face that he saw earlier. 

He’s reminded of the night where the two of you slept on the couch a few weeks prior, having experienced this exact scenario before. 

“Mm?” You bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to respond. Instead, you weakly pull him towards you, and he takes a few steps towards your bedside. 

The two of you stare at each other for a moment in silence, numerous questions flooding your guys’ brain as you do so. However, you can only bring yourself to mutter out one word.

“Stay.” 

Joshua’s stare doesn’t waver, and you feel yourself growing more embarrassed the longer you wait for his response. You fully believe that he’s going to say no with the way he doesn’t hold your hand in return, and your belief comes true when he lets your hand fall back to the bed. 

It shouldn’t hurt. You know that you shouldn’t have gotten attached to him, or let him become so close to you. 

You’re going to die anyways.

Joshua turning down your request is for the best. It means there are still barriers between the two of you, that the last time you woke up with his arms wrapped around you was just a moment of weakness. That it won’t happen again.

The regret pools in your heart as you watch him turn and walk away, and you wonder whether or not you should apologize for even asking him in the first place.

Only for your eyes to widen when you see him walk to the other side of the bed, pulling up the comforter and climbing in. He arranges his pillows, before laying down and turning over onto his side, now facing you. 

You stare at him in shock, and he squints at you in amusement. The blonde reaches out and pokes your forehead, snapping you out of your surprised state. He chuckles, “You asked me to stay, so I’m staying.” 

A smile finally makes its way onto your face, and Joshua lets out a breath at the sight. The moonlight rests over you, illuminating your features beautifully, even in his dark bedroom. He feels himself smile back at you, eyes softening with fondness as he stares at you.

You tentatively reach your hand out, trying your best to hide the shakiness to it as you let it rest on Joshua’s cheek. He doesn’t seem unphased from the touch, he just continues to stare into your eyes as the look on your face softens.

“You look best when you’re happy.” You say quietly, and the blonde doesn’t respond. You watch as tears slowly fill his eyes, and your eyebrows furrow. You’ve never seen Joshua cry, not once in the time you’ve known him. Unexpectedly, Joshua’s hand comes out from under the covers and rests over yours, encompassing your cold hand in warmth. 

“I want to be a better person for you.” Joshua mutters, blinking away the tears as he tries to look at anything else in his room. You shake your head, your own heart breaking within your chest at how vulnerable he looks. You swipe away the tears from under his eye, and his eyes flit back to you, watching as a soft smile forms on your face. 

“You… you have always been more than enough, Joshua.” 

The blonde lets out a breath at your response, before his eyes softly fall shut. Your heart is warm within your chest as you let your eyes linger on him for a moment longer, his hand still resting over your own as he tries to fall asleep. 

Your gaze trails over back towards the window, seeing how bright the moon and millions of stars are in the dark sky. 

You may not have reached the moon and the stars like you originally wanted.

You look back towards Joshua, content washing over you when you listen to his steady breathing, seeing that he’s already fast asleep. You remove yours and Joshua’s hand from his cheek, letting it rest onto the mattress. A smile escapes you when you feel his hand tighten softly around yours in his sleep. After a moment, your eyes slowly fall shut with Joshua being the one to keep you warm, hand holding your own as the two of you fall asleep facing each other.

But you’ve reached the sun, and that’s more than enough.

You stare at your medicine, wondering if you should even take it when you don’t have much time left. Shaking your head, you let out an aggravated sigh, taking out the pill and dry-swallowing it. 

You immediately regret dry-swallowing the large pill as you grab your glass of water, taking a large gulp to try and swallow it properly. Letting out a cough, you walk over to your fridge, not even feeling hungry as you stare at the food in it. 

march 18, 2021

It’s been two months. 

Your time is running out.

You’re about to grab a small container of yogurt when you hear your phone go off, and you glance over to see the screen lit up. Closing your fridge door, you walk back over to the counter and pick up your phone, a grin immediately forming on your face when you see that Joshua texted you.

joshushushu: be ready at 8 later, i’ll come pick you up !

you: so you’re the one planning now, huh? 

since when were you coming for my career

joshushushu: you’re just jealous cause i’m better at it

you: take that BACK.

joshushushu: see you at 8 <3

you: JOSHUA

You chuckle, turning off your phone and looking back towards your refrigerator. Letting out a sigh, you walk over and take out the yogurt, grabbing a spoon and dipping into the snack. You quietly eat the yogurt as you walk over to your living room window, staring out at the city. 

The skies are blue, a contrast to the cloudy days Seoul had for the last couple of weeks. Your eyes follow the birds that fly past your window, watching as they get smaller and smaller the farther they go. You let out a sigh, taking another spoonful of yogurt.

“What a beautiful day.” 

“Are you okay?” You turn your head to glance at Joshua, seeing the look of concern on his face as he looks at you. Giving him a smile, you nod your head, reaching up and rubbing the back of your neck as you look out the window of the bus.

“I’m okay, just tired.” The feeling of Joshua’s eyes on your side profile remains, and you hope that he doesn’t question it anymore. The blonde simply smiles, patting the top of your head fondly. “You can sleep, yn. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek at his kindness, and nod in response. You rest your head against the window and close your eyes, ignoring the rumbling from the bumpy road. 

A few minutes pass of Joshua scrolling through his phone when he sees your head moving out of the corner of his eye. He looks at you, seeing your head bumping against the window whenever the bus drives over a pothole in the road, somehow still fast asleep.

Joshua reaches out and softly grasps your head, pulling you over so that you’re now resting on his shoulder. He stares at your sleeping face for a moment longer, finding that you look at peace as you sleep. 

“Pretty.” Joshua mutters, before looking out towards the window for the rest of the way.

It’s only half an hour later when you feel a hand gently shaking your shoulder, and Joshua’s soft voice telling you to wake up. Groggily, you open your eyes and sit up in the seat, scratching your head. You turn and look up to find Joshua standing up from the bus seat, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He lets out a giggle at how sleepy you look, “Come on. We’re here.” 

Turning towards the window, you see the Han River glimmering back at you. Raising an eyebrow, you stand up from the seat and look at Joshua, who’s just giving you a close-lipped smile. He extends his hand out towards you, and you stare at it.

After a moment, you reach out, feeling his warm hand encompass your cold one. He grins, giving your hand a squeeze before turning and guiding you off the bus. The two of you walk in silence as he leads you towards the top of a hill, but it soon becomes hard to breathe. 

“J-Joshua.” You wheeze out, and the blonde pauses, turning to see you doubled over. 

“Are you okay? Do you want to take a break here?” You don’t respond, instead trying to catch your breath as you hold onto Joshua’s hand like a lifeline. His eyebrows furrow, and he squats so that he can look into your eyes, watching as you begin to breathe properly again.

“Yn.” 

“Mm?” 

“We gotta work on your endurance.” Joshua jokes, and you let out a laugh, reaching out and slapping his shoulder as you stand up straight. He giggles, feeling relieved that you’ve caught your breath. He gives your hand a squeeze when he gets up from his squatting position, and you look at him. “Ready?” 

You nod your head, squeezing his hand in return, “Ready.” 

Joshua smiles, leading you towards the top of the hill once again. He makes sure to keep glancing back at you and even slows his pace as a means for you to not get exhausted again. 

When the two of you finally reach the top of the hill, he lets go of your hand, and you pout at the loss of warmth. You’re about to ask why he brought you here, only to stop when you see him unzip his bag, pulling out a picnic blanket and laying it onto the cold grass. 

“A picnic? At 9 pm?” You ask, only for Joshua not to respond as he just slips off his shoes and lays down onto the checkered blanket. You smile in amusement, tilting your head as you wonder what he’s doing. 

Joshua lets out an exasperated sigh, reaching out and patting the empty space beside him on the blanket. Pursing your lips, you slowly slip off your sneakers and climb onto the blanket, carefully laying on your back. Your head is turned to him, and you’re about to ask what now? Only for Joshua to gently grasp your chin, turning you away until you look up towards the sky and-

Wow. 

The millions of stars are shining brighter than you’ve ever seen. It was as if someone gathered a handful of sparkles and scattered them across the wide expanse of the dark sky, bringing light to unappreciative eyes. 

Joshua turns his head to see your reaction, and he smiles at the bright look to your eyes, your mouth being dropped open slightly in awe. 

He knew of your fascination with the sky ever since the two of you met on Banpo bridge. From the way your eyes sparkled at the sight of the moonlight reflecting across the river, to the content smile that would make its way onto your face whenever you’d look up towards the moon.

And so, whenever he would finish his evening classes at university, he’d take the bus to different parks and look for the spot that had the best sight of the sky at night.

Joshua wanted you to be able to reach the stars. 

“Do you like it?” You turn towards the pretty blonde, seeing the slight apprehension on his face in fear that you won’t be happy with his surprise for you. You watch as it melts away from the sight of your bright smile, and a breath of relief escapes him. 

“I love it.” 

The two of you turn back towards the sky, pointing at different constellations and talking about which star shines the brightest among the millions you can see. You let out a laugh when Joshua mistakenly points out lights from a plane as a shooting star, and he rolls his eyes, but the fond smile on his face tells you that he’s anything but annoyed. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence afterwards, just appreciating the beautiful sky. You feel warm, even though you’re in this cold weather, you somehow feel warm just by being with Joshua. The bright stars shine down at you, and you slowly raise your arm up to the sky.

Joshua’s eyes follow your hand, watching as it grasps at the air. His gaze trails down to your face, seeing you stare up at the stars with an indecipherable emotion in your eyes. He turns away, and your arm falls back down to your side. 

“What’s something you want to do with me?” Joshua asks, breaking the comfortable silence. You purse your lips, finding the question hard as you wonder how you could even answer this. 

You want to do everything with him.

You want to go to a karaoke place with him, go bowling, go to an amusement park and eat all the festival food. Watch a movie, play in the snow and build a snowman. Go to the beach and make sand castles, go grocery shopping, visit him at work. Go to uni with him, go on a walk, talk about your day, make him kimchi fried rice. Everything. 

You want to do everything with Joshua. 

Letting out a shaky breath, your eyes trail over to the trees down the hill, lined up on the sides of the pathway. You stare at the unbloomed buds, already seeing the beautiful flowers in the back of your mind that you know you won’t be here in time to see.

“Cherry blossoms.” You utter, and the blonde turns to you.

“Hm?”

“I want to see the cherry blossoms with you.” Joshua lets out an, ah, a smile forming on his face at the thought of seeing the beautiful pink flowers with you. He looks back up towards the stars, “Cherry blossoms were always my favorite flower.” 

You listen to Joshua’s soft voice, holding onto every word as you stare down at the unbloomed trees. The blonde lets out a breathless chuckle. “April was my favorite month because that’s when the cherry blossoms would bloom, but I stopped being excited for them a couple years back.” 

Joshua grins, heart growing warm in his chest when he thinks of you spinning around excitedly underneath the cherry blossom trees, the pink petals softly falling around you. 

“But I’m excited to see them with you, yn.” 

Your heart wavers in your chest at Joshua’s sweet words, and you clench your fist at your side. Tears fill your eyes as you look away from the unbloomed cherry blossom trees, gaze trailing back up towards the stars. A tear escapes your left eye as you choke out, 

“I’m excited to see them with you too, Joshua.” 

Laying in bed, you stare up at the ceiling tiredly, having lost almost all your energy a week ago. You roll over and look at your phone, watching as the screen lights up.

march 23, 2021

You let out a shaky breath, knowing that you should admit yourself to the hospital within a few days. However,

You open up your messaging app, tapping on your conversation with Joshua.

you: joshuaaa 

be ready at 2 ! i prepared a fun day for us :)

joshushushu: does it involve you paying for our meal? 

you: capitalism is the root of all evil.

but yes. yes it does.

joshushushu: okay epic, i’m in.

i’ll see you later ^^

you: see you <3

Turning off your phone, you take in a deep breath, before slowly climbing out of bed. The exhaustion weighs over you like a blanket, but you push yourself to make it to the bathroom to shower.

You need to get ready to spend one last day with Joshua.

Sitting on the bench at the bus stop, you stare down at your sneakers as you wait for the pretty blonde to show up. It took you a while to get to the bus stop, as you felt even more exhausted by the time you stepped out of your apartment complex. You took your medicine and attempted to eat some food, but to no avail. 

The sunlight that was once shining down onto you suddenly disappears as you were thinking to yourself, and you look up to see Joshua grinning down at you. 

“What did you plan for today? Grocery shopping?” He asks, and you roll your eyes, standing up when you notice the bus heading your way. Nudging his shoulder, you answer, “No, something better than restocking my food and cleaning supplies.” 

Joshua lets out a mock gasp, making you giggle as the two of you climb onto the bus. You sit down in the window seat, the pretty man following soon after and continuing what he was saying. 

“Better than following you around the grocery store while pushing a cart for an hour? No such thing.” You laugh, slapping his leg and shaking your head at him. He grins, reaching up and patting the top of your head fondly. 

“I’m kidding. Doing anything with you brightens my day either way.” Joshua confesses, and you freeze slightly, before regaining your composure. Giving him a tight smile, you turn and glance out the window, watching as the world passes by. Cars filled with people going to wherever it is they’re going, people waiting on the crosswalks to cross the street, children screaming and playing on the playgrounds.

The world is roaring with life. 

“I’m happy for them.” You whisper, before closing your eyes. 

“Yn, you shouldn’t have.” Joshua says when you lead him towards the entrance of a dog café. You grin, shrugging your shoulders as you muster enough strength to pull open the door. “You’re a dog person. I am simply returning the favor.” 

The blonde chuckles, stepping into the café with you following after him. You reach up and hold your bicep, lightly rubbing the area as it feels a bit strained. Your arm immediately falls back to your side when Joshua stops and turns to glance at you, wondering why you’re behind him. 

He lets out a fond smile, reaching his hand out towards you. “Come on, let’s go see the dogs.” 

Your eyes slowly trail down to his hand, warm and inviting. A stark contrast to what yours have become, cold and lonely. You look back up at Joshua’s face, seeing him tilt his head at you, waiting for you to grasp his hand. 

He watches as an indecipherable emotion passes your eyes, before you let out a smile and walk up to him, intertwining your fingers with his. He grins, and the two of you walk further into the café, only to be greeted by a golden retriever. 

Your eyes widen in surprise at the beautiful dog, and you’re about to bend down to pet it—only to stop once the sound of Joshua’s happy laugh rings in your ears. You turn to look at him, finding him patting the dog’s head with a bright smile on his face. 

“Come on puppy, yn and I have to go order our food.” Joshua says softly, before leading you towards the register. You let out a happy squeal when you see all the other dogs roaming around the tables, feeling excited to play with all of them. 

You and Joshua tell the employee what you’d both like to order as a few dogs come to stand beside the two of you. When you’re told the price, you reach into your bag with your free hand to pull out your wallet, only for your mouth to drop open when you see Joshua already handing the employee his card. 

“Joshua! I wanted to pay for us.” You whine, and he simply squeezes your hand with an accomplished grin on his face. He thanks the employee once he’s handed back his card along with the receipt, before turning to face you. 

“You’re just too slow~” Joshua teases, and you squint. You open your mouth to start complaining more, only to pause when you hear the employee’s voice ring out. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but if you’d like, we have a photobooth that you both could go take pictures in.” They tell you with a shy smile, pointing towards the back of the café where the photobooth is, and your eyes brighten at the idea. 

“Thank you so much!” You say, before pulling Joshua in the direction of the photobooth, your free hand already holding your wallet so that you can pay for it. 

“Yn-” You immediately shove your card into the reader when the two of you step into the small box, closing the black curtain. The blonde chuckles at your determination, and you smile as you pull out your card once the payment is accepted.

“How should we pose?” Joshua asks, and you shrug as you watch the timer start to count down. 

“You just gotta feel it.” 

“That’s not helpful at all.” 

“Just follow my lead.” You say with a laugh, and he grins in amusement, turning back towards the screen. The two of you lean your heads closer to each other, and you wink while Joshua simply smiles as the first photo is captured. 

This continues for the next three photos, with the two of you laughing and doing different poses for the photostrip. You both climb out of the small box, waiting for the two photostrips to be printed as you talk about how silly you each must look.

“Ah, they’re printed.” You say once the two photostrips fall out, and you grab them both. You hand one to Joshua, and you hear him let out a small giggle. 

You stare at the photostrip quietly, gauging the photos. Warmth floods your chest at the third panel in particular, and you let out a breath.

This was when the two of you missed the countdown as you were both facing each other and laughing. Joshua’s eyes are bright and filled with warmth, a smile on his face as he looks at you in the photo. Then there’s you, mid-laugh, nothing but joy over your features.

“Wow.” You breathe out, and Joshua chuckles at your reaction, nudging you with his shoulder. You blink, looking away from the photostrip and redirecting your attention towards the blonde. “Mm?”

He points towards the table in the corner, where quite a few dogs are resting around. “Let’s go sit there.” 

You bite back a laugh, knowing exactly why he wants to sit at that exact spot. Nodding your head, you grin when you see his features brighten, and the two of you walk towards the table. The dogs perk up at your guys’ arrival, almost all of them going around Joshua as the two of you sit across from each other.

“So cute!” Joshua exclaims, a big smile on his face when the golden retriever from earlier rests its paws on Joshua’s chair, licking his face excitedly. The corners of your lips quirk up, and you take out your phone, opening the camera app. 

You watch as Joshua grins, petting the golden retriever to try and calm them down as they continue to attempt to lick his face. Tilting your head, you take the photo right as Joshua breaks out into laughter. 

You lower the phone from your face when Joshua turns towards you from the sound of the camera shutter, and he lets out a grin when his gaze trails over to your left hand side.

“So busy ogling me that you didn’t even notice the cute puppy waiting for your attention.” Your eyebrows furrow at Joshua’s sentence, and you turn your head to the left, expecting nothing, only for your eyes to widen when you see the precious corgi sitting beside you in the booth, tail wagging as they stare at you. 

“Oh my God. Hi baby!” You coo, reaching out and finally giving the attention the corgi had been wanting from you. The corgi licks your wrist, and you giggle, petting their back as you turn to shoot a glare towards the blonde. He raises an eyebrow at the squint to your eyes, and he tilts his head in question.

“I was not ogling you!” You exclaim, and Joshua lets out an angelic laugh that makes your heart do a somersault within your chest. A sheepish smile forms on your face, destroying the “angry” persona you were trying to put on.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge.”

“Joshua!” You laugh, and he laughs along with you. 

Your guys’ laughter rings throughout the café for the rest of the afternoon, pure happiness exuding from the two of you.

“Oh sikhye, how you never fail me.” You say lovingly to the drink in your hand. Joshua simply chuckles at your antics, taking a sip of his own sikhye as the two of you walk on the sidewalk towards the bridge. 

“Thank you for taking me to the dog café, I had a lot of fun.” Joshua tells you, and you nod your head, a smile forming on your face when you remember how many dogs had been around your table. 

“You’re like a dog magnet, while I’m a cat magnet.” You point out, and the blonde purses his lips in thought, before nodding his head in agreement. “That makes sense.” 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you make your way onto the bridge, the sounds of the cars driving past you both filling the quiet.

“I feel like you could be a catboy, though.” Joshua accidentally snorts his sikhye at your abrupt comment, and you burst out into laughter as he doubles over, coughing up the drink. Patting his back, you wait for him to calm down as he slowly stands back up to his full height, taking deep breaths. 

“A catboy?”

“I cannot believe me calling you a catboy made you snort your drink.” You say, the corners of your mouth twitching as you try to hold back from smiling. The blonde catches this though, and he reaches out and pinches your cheek. 

“Hey!” 

Joshua smiles at your reaction, feeling satisfied that he got his payback after you made him snort his rice drink. He’s about to ask why you think he’s a catboy when he notices you walking up to the railing of the bridge.

You rest your hand onto the cold railing, staring out at the sight laid before you. The skies are painted in various shades of pink, blue, and purple. The sun is setting in the distance, the dark orange reflecting off the Han River, making the water glimmer. 

“It’s…”

“Beautiful.” Joshua finishes, and you turn to him, seeing the sparkle to his eyes as he stares at the scenery. You’re reminded of the cold January night where you met him over two months ago. 

His eye bags are practically gone and the hunch to his shoulders are now replaced with confidence. His features are glowing, looking healthy in comparison to before, but it’s his eyes that have changed the most. His eyes no longer appear exhausted as he turns to look at you, now replaced with something along the lines of content.

“We met on this bridge over two months ago.” You state, and Joshua doesn’t respond. He looks back out towards the water, resting his forearms onto the railing as the thought of that night comes to mind. You follow suit, taking a sip of your sikhye as the two of you stare at the scenery in silence, the memories the two of you made over the last two months playing in your head. 

“You know when I said I couldn’t see life as something beautiful? And that it wasn’t kind to me?” Joshua asks after a moment, and you nod your head, the memory fresh in your mind.

He lets out a breath, “Two months ago, life was so hard for me that I couldn’t even think of trying anymore. So I didn’t understand what you meant when you said that life was beautiful.” 

Your hand squeezes the railing, but you don’t turn to look at Joshua. You know that he wouldn’t want you to look at him as he addresses what he didn’t want to even mention for the last two months. 

Joshua glances at you, the sunset no longer capturing his attention. A small smile escapes him as he stares at you, heart warm within his chest. 

“I understand what you mean now.” You turn to look at him, immediately locking eyes with the ethereal man. The small smile on his face turns into a full one when he stares into your bright eyes, feeling happy just by being with you. 

Joshua turns away, looking back out towards the sunset. Your heart swells with warmth and heartbreak when you hear him say,

“Life is beautiful.” 

You don’t respond right away as you struggle to hold back the tears from escaping. Your eyes remain on the scenery laid before you, doing your best to control your breathing as you watch the sun set below the city. 

Letting out a breath, you feel Joshua turn to look at you with his soft eyes. 

Joshua’s happy, so you’re happy. 

You turn your body towards Joshua and give him a tight smile as you raise your arms into the air. The blonde grins, reaching out and taking the sikhye from your hand when he notices some of its contents spill onto the pavement from your gesture. You giggle at your clumsiness, and he just shakes his head. 

“What would you do without me?” Joshua asks with a smile, and you shrug your shoulders, turning and beginning to walk in the direction of the bus stop. He tilts his head at you, and he watches as you turn and glance at him with a smile. 

“I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now!” You answer, turning away before you get the chance to see Joshua’s reaction. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you swing your arms as you walk, suddenly wishing you had your sikhye in your hand. 

The sound of running footsteps makes you glance back, only to let out a loud laugh when Joshua’s arm suddenly wraps around your shoulders, the sound of his giggles ringing in your ear. He holds out the drink in your direction, and you grin, taking it from his grasp.

As you take a sip of the sweet rice drink, you let out a sigh. You take a peek at Joshua, finding the hint of a smile on his face as he drinks his own beverage in his other hand. He notices your eyes on him, and he looks at you, a warm expression forming on his face. He leans in and gently nudges your head with his, before turning back towards the front. 

It’s as if all the sadness, anger, and pain melts away from the fond gesture. A shy smile breaks out onto your face as you turn away, letting out a sigh of content.

“Ah, what a beautiful day.”

Joshua glances down at his phone while he waits in the elevator as it goes up to the eighth floor, the floor in which your apartment resides.

april 6, 2021

You haven’t contacted Joshua since the day the two of you went to the dog café, let alone open his texts. He’s been texting you everyday and even calling you to try and get a response, but to no avail.

So he finally decided to go visit your apartment to check in on you and ask what happened. 

As the elevator doors open, Joshua steps out and walks down the hallway. Once he turns left to enter the other hall, his eyebrows furrow when he notices the man standing in front of your door. He walks up to the man, who glances up towards the blonde when he catches sight of him through the corner of his eye.

“Do you know yn?” Joshua asks once he’s a few feet away from the older man. The gentleman nods, holding up his ID card, “I’m their landlord.” 

Joshua almost lets out a breath of relief, finally having met someone who could possibly know where you’ve been. The blonde points towards your apartment door, “Yn hasn’t contacted me in like, two weeks. Do you know if they’re home or if they went somewhere-”

“You don’t know?” Your landlord asks, and Joshua pauses. A feeling of dread runs down his spine when he sees the look of pity appear in the older man’s eyes when Joshua shakes his head, no. 

The dread soon turns into regret when the landlord informs him of the information he hadn’t known for the last three months.

“Are you comfortable?” The nurse asks as she replaces your tube. You give her a weak smile, glancing out the window and staring at the birds flying past it as you answer, “As comfortable as I can be.”

Once the nurse finishes cleaning you up, she bows in your direction and steps out of the room. You let out a breath, eyes trailing down to your phone. You press your finger to the screen, and the photo of Joshua that you took at the dog café shines back at you. 

A soft smile escapes you when you see how brightly he’s laughing, the sound of his joyful laughs still ringing in your ear as if he was here with you. The brief moment of happiness you feel turns into one of guilt when you’re reminded of all the messages, missed calls, and voicemails he’s left you for the last two weeks. 

It’s for the best, you remind yourself. You want him to be happy, and knowing that you’re on your literal deathbed would take that away from him. 

You bite the inside of your cheek once you feel the tears rise to your eyes, and you let out an annoyed huff. In an attempt to make the wetness to your eyes disappear, you move to stare up at the ceiling, only to freeze when your gaze lands on the doorway. 

“Joshua?” 

The blonde is standing there, chest rising and falling as he stares at you, pain evident in his gaze. His eyes trail over your appearance, wondering how he didn’t see the signs from the beginning. From the times you told him you were having trouble sleeping, the loss of appetite, how easily exhausted you would become from simply laughing too hard in the recent weeks.

How could he not know? 

“Yn.” Joshua breathes out, walking over to your bedside and sitting down in the chair. Feeling the tears flood your eyes, you look away from him, staring down at your hands in shame. 

“How did you find out?” You ask in a quiet voice, knowing he’s going to hate you for not telling him. When you don’t hear his response, the tears escape your eyes, falling onto the hospital blanket. 

“I’m so sorry Joshua.”

“I’m so selfish.” Your eyes widen slightly, and you look up from the blanket, only for your heart to break within your chest when you see the tears falling past Joshua’s eyes. 

“I-I hated my life and I openly complained about it in front of you, but you were going through so much worse and you still saw the beauty in it.” Joshua mutters, his hands reaching up towards his face as he tries to wipe away his tears. “I’m so sorry, yn.” You feel a sob bubble up in your chest, and you shake your head at him. 

“Don’t compare your struggles and pain to mine. Your struggles and your pain are valid. You have nothing to apologize for.” You tell him, vision becoming blurry as you reach out towards him with your hand. Joshua bites his bottom lip, before grasping your cold hand with his warm one. 

“It’s not fair.” Joshua mutters, and you blink at him. His hand tightens gently around yours, and he looks up into your beautiful eyes that hold so much life in them.

The life you deserve to live.

“I-It’s not fair. You of all people deserve to live your life.” Joshua says, the anger and sadness heavy in his voice. You let out a small smile, squeezing his hand with as much energy you can muster. “Sometimes life isn’t fair.”

Joshua just scoffs at your positivity and you let out a weak giggle. His eyes soften from the sight of your smile, and he reaches out with his free hand, wiping away your tears with his thumb. You lean into the touch, and Joshua feels his heart stutter in his chest. 

“Can you stay with me?” You ask, looking up into his deerlike eyes. Warmth floods the blonde’s face at how ethereal you are, feeling content when he still sees the sparkle in your eyes. 

“Yeah, always.”

Joshua slips off of his shoes and scoots you over on the hospital bed. He climbs onto it and lays onto his back beside you. You rest your head onto his arm, turning onto your side so that you’re facing him, and close your eyes at the feeling of his fingers intertwining with yours. 

“Thank you.” You mutter sleepily, and Joshua raises an eyebrow. 

“For what?” 

The memories of the last three months rewind in your head like a cassette tape, all the joy, laughter, sadness. All of it. 

“For making my last three months worthwhile.” 

Joshua sucks in a breath at your words, and he clenches his fist at his side. He’s filled with anger, sadness, so many different emotions as he turns his body to face you. He finds that you’re already fast asleep, small puffs of air leaving your lips, a reminder that you’re here. 

You’re alive.

Holding back the tears from rising, Joshua closes his eyes and gently rests his forehead onto yours. He feels your breath hit his lips, and he finds that it’s the only thing that calms him down as he feels a wave of drowsiness hit him.

He soon falls asleep with the thought of you turning to face him on the bridge two weeks ago, with the bright smile on your face that he’s grown to love.

“Can I please take yn out of the hospital? They’re right at the entrance. It’s not like I’m taking yn to an amusement park.” 

“No, Joshua.” 

“But Dr. Park, please.” Joshua practically begs, following after your doctor as he tries to walk back to his office. The man doesn’t even spare the blonde another glance, already set on his answer. 

It’s been a week since Joshua discovered the truth of your illness, and he’s visited every single day. Even if he had classes or a shift at work, he’d immediately take the bus to the hospital right after to come and see you.

He knows your time is soon from how frail you’ve become, the exhaustion and pain evident on your face no matter how hard you try to hide it behind the smile you show him. 

That’s why he’s desperate for Dr. Park to say yes.

“I’ll even have the nurse accompany us! Please, it won’t take long.” Joshua calls out, and he watches as Dr. Park’s shoulders slump as he lets out a sigh. The older man turns to glance at him, “Joshua…”

“Please, Dr. Park. Yn—” Joshua looks down at his shoes, swallowing the lump in his throat as he tries to muster up the courage to say the next words. “Yn doesn’t have much time left.” 

Dr. Park stares at the blonde, knowing very well that your time is drawing near. He looks to his side, remembering what he told you the day you found out about your tragic fate. 

“Eat whatever you want, do things you’ve always wanted to do. Live your life, yn.” 

Dr. Park lets out a sigh, before turning back towards Joshua, who’s still staring down at the floor. He purses his lips, “Fine. You can take yn, but not for long. I’ll have their nurse accompany you.” 

Joshua immediately lifts up his head, eyes bright as he nods his head frantically. He blurts out multiple thank yous, even bowing at least ten times before he heads back to your hospital room. 

Dr. Park just lets out a sad smile as he watches the blonde disappear past the corner. Shaking his head, he glances down at his clipboard and heads towards his next patient. 

You lay in the hospital bed, struggling to keep your eyes open as you wait for Joshua. Your gaze is glued towards the doorway, wondering when you’ll see those pretty deerlike eyes of his. Your eyelids feel heavy, and you feel sleep beginning to pull you in. 

“Yn!” Your eyes slowly open at the angelic voice, and you find Joshua walking up to your hospital bed with an excited smile on his face. The corners of your lips tug upward, “Joshua, you look excited.”

“I have a surprise for you.” Your eyebrows furrow in suspicion, and he lets out a laugh. A sudden figure at your doorway catches your attention, and Joshua steps to the side so that you can see. You squint when you see your nurse standing there, a wheelchair in front of her as she gives you a smile. 

“What are you planning?” You ask, eyes going back to the blonde. He shrugs his shoulders, reaching out and grasping your cold hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“You’ll see.”

It takes about twenty minutes until you’re finally in the wheelchair, as you’re no longer able to walk on your own. It was hard, since Joshua had to help your nurse by carrying you and placing you into the seat. You kept apologizing for being a bother, but Joshua would always reply, 

“You could never be a bother, yn.”

And now you’re being pushed through the halls. With your nurse holding onto the IV pole while Joshua pushes you. You can’t help but feel a bit of excitement run through your veins as the three of you slowly make your way out of the hospital, no matter how exhausted you are.

“What’s the surprise? Did you buy me a sikhye truck?” 

“You think I’m rich?” Joshua counters, and you smile at his response. It’s when you’re closer to the automatic doors that you begin to feel your heartbeat faster, ecstatic to be able to smell the fresh air. 

“Are you ready?” Joshua asks, leaning over to peek at your face. You let out a shaky breath, before nodding your head and giving him a thumbs up. “Of course.” 

The blonde smiles, and starts pushing you towards the exit again, watching as the automatic doors open for the three of you. The sunlight shines down on you once you’re outside, and you suck in a deep breath of the fresh air, blinking your eyes to get used to the sudden light.

Once your eyes open again, you find Joshua standing before you, arms stretched up towards the sky. A pose that you always did when the two of you were together. You’re about to ask what he’s doing when a sudden flash of pink flies past your face. You turn your head, eyes following after it until it falls onto the ground next to dozens of others.

A cherry blossom petal. 

You slowly look back towards Joshua, seeing the warm smile on his face as he stares at you. Your eyes trail upwards, and you let out a breath when you see the fully bloomed cherry blossom trees above you. The brilliant shades of pink and white are hanging above you, and you feel your heart swell. 

A breeze blows past the trees, and you watch as the petals begin to fall around you and Joshua. The beautiful and delicate petals gently flow with the wind, as if they were pink snowflakes fluttering past you.

Opening up the palm of your hand, you watch as a precious petal falls directly into the middle of it. You let out a wet laugh, tears trailing down your cheeks as you look back up towards Joshua. He’s smiling back at you, eyes filled with tears of his own as the two of you stare at each other. 

“I saw the cherry blossoms with you.” You say softly, and Joshua nods his head, a heartbreaking smile on his face. Biting your bottom lip, you close your fingers around the precious petal in your hand, blinking away the tears that keep flooding your eyes.

“Thank you, Joshua.” You mutter, and the blonde simply lets out a sigh, turning so that he’s facing the cherry blossom tree. You look up towards him, seeing the small smile on his face as he glances back at you. 

“Consider it a gift, yn.”

You lay on your hospital bed, listening to Joshua tell you about the lecture he attended today. Your heart warms when you hear him let out a giggle when mentioning something his classmate said, and a small smile escapes you. 

It’s been a few hours since you were brought back inside from seeing the cherry blossom trees, and Joshua’s stayed by your side the whole time. He didn’t even leave when you took a nap, just staying in the chair beside your bed doing his homework as he waited for you to wake up. 

You know that your time is almost over as you feel your heartbeat slow while listening to Joshua, finding yourself growing more sleepy. Somehow, rather than being afraid, you feel content. 

You’re happy.

You can see that Joshua knows it too, as he keeps talking to you about anything and everything, when you’d usually be the one to fill the silence. 

“And that’s how—”

“Joshua?” The blonde looks up at the sound of your voice immediately, and his heart falls when he sees the smile on your face. 

It’s different from all the ones before. It’s not bright, teasing, exciting, no. 

It’s accepting.

“Y-Yeah?” Joshua asks, and you extend your hand towards him. He reaches out and grasps it, your hand fitting perfectly within his own. 

“What’s the most beautiful thing about life?” You ask in a soft voice, staring into those deerlike eyes that seem to hold all the stars in the world. 

You want to remember it.

You want to remember him.

Joshua bites the inside of his cheek at your question, looking down at your connected hands as he tries to think of his answer. You watch as his eyebrows furrow in thought, and you grin in amusement at how hard he’s thinking.

The thought of the arcade comes to mind, as the neon purple lights shone on your face as you turned to look at him with a bright smile.

The sunset, when you spun around with your arms in the air and danced along the grass as he took photos of you. 

Going grocery shopping, when you were telling him a story with the softest of smiles on your face. Your eyes twinkled underneath the horrible fluorescent lights, and he wondered how you could possibly look so ethereal even with the bad lighting.

Your strawberry pajamas that you love so much.

Visiting the cat café, where your smile was the brightest and you were practically glowing from all the attention from the cats.

When it rained and you were laughing and spinning around as you let the raindrops fall onto you. Not a care in the world as you smiled brightly and extended your hand out towards him.

Going stargazing, except when he turned his head and looked into your eyes — he realized that you shined brighter than the millions of stars in the sky.

Joshua looks back towards you, seeing you waiting expectantly. His eyes trail over your features, from your beautiful eyes to your pretty lips that always hold a smile. He squeezes your hand softly as he finally answers,

“You.”

You blink at his answer, before a small smile breaks out onto your face. Looking away, you notice the full moon out the window, with the millions of stars surrounding it on this clear night. You let out a breath, feeling like they’re closer tonight. 

“What about you? What’s the most beautiful thing about life?” Joshua asks, and he watches as your head slowly turns back towards him. You give him a grin and squeeze his hand with as much energy as you can muster, finding yourself getting lost in his bright eyes. 

“You. The most beautiful thing about life is you, Joshua.” 

Joshua smiles, but his heart hurts as his eyes pan to your vital signs monitor, seeing that your heart rate is slowing. He looks back at you, and he sucks in a deep breath when only one thought comes to mind. 

There’s still so many things he wants to tell you, so many things he wants to do with you. However, as he stares into your eyes, he realizes there’s only one last thing you need to know.

“Yn?” 

“Yeah, Joshua?” You respond, now struggling to keep your eyes open as you stare at him. 

“I love you.” 

You and Joshua stare at each other in silence for a moment, having finally aired out the truth that the two of you have kept hidden for the last three months. The truth that the both of you kept denying, for fear of the future. A bright smile forms on your face, and Joshua feels his heart stutter within his chest at the sight. 

“I love you too, Joshua.” 

He lets out a breath, swallowing the lump in his throat to try and appear strong for you. As Joshua stares at you, he realizes just how beautiful you are. Even though you’re frail and tired, your beauty is unmatched as he looks into your eyes. 

And so, Joshua smiles back at you, and you feel warmth flood your body at the beauty of it.

You hope to remember his smile even in your next life.

Joshua hears your monitor begin to beep, signalling that your heart rate is dropping. He doesn’t look away from you, holding the eye contact between the two of you as your eyes slowly fall shut. The grip you had on his hand loosens, and he continues to stare at you as your nurse comes in once the sound of the flatline rings throughout the room. 

Joshua stands up from the chair, heart thumping against his chest once your nurse turns off your monitor. 

“Time of death: Tuesday, April 13th. At 8:13 PM.”

Silence fills the room as he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your temple, before pulling away and falling back into the chair. The smile that he showed you is now gone as he bites his bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to fall as he stares at you, the smallest of smiles still remaining on your face.

Joshua looks down as a few tears escape, and he slowly rests his forehead onto your guys’ connected hands, sobs finally wracking through his body as he holds onto you. 

The moon and the stars shine down onto the two of you through the hospital window. They illuminate the room as Joshua sobs against your hand, knowing that you were finally able to reach them. 

You were finally able to reach the moon and the stars.

april 13, 2022

Joshua looks away from the calendar on the wall once he’s handed the bouquet of bright sunflowers. He smiles at the employee, giving them his thanks before he turns around and walks out of the store. 

The sun shines down on him as he walks towards the columbarium, making his black hair appear a light brown underneath the light. 

The sound of the birds chirping rings through his ears, and he smiles softly as he steps in through the entrance. He walks through the hall, before he finally stops, looking up and seeing your bright smile shining back at him.

Joshua lets out a grin at the sight, placing your sunflowers into the mini slot that holds the bouquets. A breath escapes him as he stares at the photos in your display, all of the photos capturing your beautiful smile. His eyes land on the last one, and he bites the inside of his cheek.

It’s the photostrip of the two of you from the day you both went to the dog café. 

Joshua has the same photostrip on the back of his phone case, as a reminder of a beautiful day. 

“Did you miss me?” Joshua asks you, knowing that he won’t receive a response. He smiles softly, looking down at his shoes. 

“It’s been a year without you, and I still think of your bright smile everyday.” Joshua tells you, placing his hands into his pockets as he continues to stare at the floor. “I know you’re getting a kick out of hearing me say that, huh?” 

Joshua stands there before you in silence for a moment, holding back the tears that threaten to flood his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath, before looking back up towards you with a smile and begins to update you on everything that’s happened since he last visited.

From the new job he got at an early learning center as a teacher, to the cat he visits at the shelter that reminds him of you, to his new friend Jeonghan who’s more mischievous than you could imagine, to the fried rice he made in the morning.

He tells you anything and everything until he can no longer think of anything else to say. Joshua lowers his head, wishing that he could hear a response. 

“I miss you.” He mutters, the thought of your smile and contagious laugh coming to mind. There’s a dull ache in his heart that has remained since you passed, and he knows it will be there for a long time. 

But as he lifts up his head to look at you and sees the photo of the both of you laughing, he knows he’ll be okay. You want him to be happy.

Joshua sucks in a deep breath, before reaching up and resting his hand over the glass. 

“Thank you, yn. Thank you for teaching me how to live.” 

Joshua gives you a genuine smile, before taking a step back from your locker. 

“I’ll continue to live happily, so don’t worry about me. I’ll visit you again soon...” Joshua chuckles as he trails off, looking away as warmth floods his face at the thought of the next thing he wants to tell you. He lets out a breath, before smiling at you as he says,

“I love you.” 

And with that, Joshua turns around and walks away with a lighter heart. He steps out of the columbarium and walks down the street, the thought of your smile and the sound of your laugh lingering in his mind. 

He walks with his head down, hands in his pockets as he heads to the bus stop. It’s only when a pink petal floats past him that he pauses and finally looks up from the ground. 

The fully bloomed cherry blossoms are a few feet from him, planted on the grass near the sidewalk, painting the pavement pink. He watches as a breeze blows past him, making hundreds of cherry blossom petals gently fall from the trees. 

Joshua lets out a small smile at the sight, before looking up towards the blue sky. A content sigh escapes him as he watches a pretty white cloud float past him. 

“What a beautiful day.”

[gyusbambi]

humph; han seojun (pt 4)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5

click here for humph masterlist!

story: frenemies to enemies to lovers, high school au

synopsis: seojun and you have known each other since kindergarten. you’re neighbors and even attended the same singing and piano classes. despite knowing each other for such a long time, you don’t enjoy spending time with seojun. even though you are aware of his unfairness, you keep spending time with him. when will you finally leave your childhood frenemy?

note: humph! is a story inspired by pentagon’s “humph! / 접근금지”. originally, this is a seungyeon fanfiction, which i posted on my wattpad. words: 3.8k

to claim that the cupid-team is surprised to witness han seojun getting along with his long term frenemy would be an absolute understatement. in fact, they seem completely and utterly dumbfounded as they watch you both laugh at a joke seojun pulled in the middle of the bus ride back home. needless to say, the childhood friends tease each other now and then like they’re used to it, this time without hurting any feelings. all of these observations, including the fact that you decided to sit next to each other in the bus, lead to several assumptions and without you knowing, rumors start to develop. 

for whatever reason, neither you nor seojun are aware of the gossip regarding both of you. perhaps it’s thanks to kim chorong, who’s apparently really skilled at being inconspicuous. 

_

it’s been one day since you arrived home and you find yourself sleeping in till two pm on a saturday. 

seriously, you should fix your chaotic sleeping schedule.

when you finally leave your room to get some food into your stomach, dressed in your favorite hoodie and sweatpants, your mum and juyeong are already eating lunch. like expected, they give you a quick judging look without interrupting their conversation. while you’re putting some rice in a bowl they talk about juyeong’s crush on some girl. soon their conversation moves to something related to seojun, and that's when you suddenly pay attention instead of playing with the cold food on your plate.

"y/n, is seojun’s mother in a better condition now?"

instantly you look up to react to your mum’s question. instead of looking at you, she puts more vegetables on juyeong’s table,

"it's been a few days since i last visited her, maybe i should do it again soon. i really hope she gets better."

"what are you talking about?"

"seojun hyung's mum is in hospital." juyeong answers, his mouth stuffed with food while pushing the vegetables away with a scrunched face.

"what?"

"hasn't he told you about his mum? i thought you guys would tell each other everything." my mum questioned with a small pout forming on her lips, finally meeting your worried eyes.

"they broke up.", your annoying brother fails the attempt to whisper.

"we're not together!"

displeased, you hiss at your brother, voice getting higher.

"you guys act like a married couple sometimes. it's annoying."

"shut up!"

"both of you stop now." your mother sighs while her hands move in the air in attempt to stop you from attacking your own brother.

"seojun’s mum is seriously sick and i'm going to visit her tomorrow morning. y/n, maybe you should do too? or talk to him a little since he's probably not doing so well."

"i will."

feeling upset that you’re just finding out about seojun’s mother’s condition, you can’t stop thinking about it for the whole day. besides that, you are worried and consider visiting them the next day.

even though their house is quite near to yours, you have to go through the dangerous part of your quarter. as you make your way to the han’s, your hand moves to your right pocket to grab the pocketknife, which seojun gifted you in your freshman year of high school. for defense reasons, he said.

"you need to be careful when you're walking down this street. here, have this."

however, instead of seeing a group of dangerous men, you spot han seojun himself, walking towards your direction with hands in his pocket. thinking of a casual way of greeting him, you clear your throat before taking a few steps forwards in order to greet him,

"hey!”

"hey, what are you doing here?"

surprised to see you in this area, seojun raises his eyebrows.

"well, i actually wanted to visit- what the hell happened to your face?"

rapidly, you interrupt yourself when the boy is finally close enough for you to spot the multiple bruises on his pale skin. this causes you take a few steps forward and reach for his cheek instantly, worry written all over your face.

he looks horrible. bruises all over his face, lip bleeding, knuckles visibly red.

seojun catches glimpse of your worried eyes and feels embarrassed for you to find him at this state. instead of making the attempt to explain the situation, he grabs your hand which rests on his cheek. the touch of your warm and soft hand causes a pressure building in this chest. seojun doesn’t dare to take his eyes off of yours.

suddenly your cheeks feel like they’re turning into the shade of a tomato. besides that, your heart starts acting all weird when you catch glimpse of his intense eyes.

"what happened?" you question once again, this time with even more concern.

"it's not important-"

"did you get into a fight?"

"that bastard lee seungyong was getting on my nerves again, it's not important." he sighs after running his hand through his hair.

"alright. come on, we need to clean those bruises before they get worse." you mutter after grabbing his right arm and pulling him towards your house.

_

seojun hisses with a painful expression as you attempt to clean the awful wounds on his cheeks. with a concentrated look crossing over your face, you focus on the terrible cut. however, you impatiently drop your hand on your lap when seojun can’t seem to stop moving, an annoyed sigh followed after. 

“could you stop moving the whole time? i’m trying to do something here.”,

positioning yourself closer to the boy sitting on the edge of your bed, you’re ready to treat his wounds for the third time. seojun only grins playfully despite the painful bruises,

“look at you acting like a doctor.”

ignoring his comment, you raise your hand once again to reach for his chin. fingers brushing on his skin, you are able to focus. this time seojun doesn’t flinch. quite the contrary, he’s like frozen on spot. the only thing he seems to be able to focus on are your features. 

nothing but silence dominates your room as you decide to clean the cut on his bottom lip. you fingers brushing over his soft lip, eyes completely focused on them, the poor boy’s heart is about to explode in front of you. he internally thanks to god that you don’t notice his chest rising up and down or his ears turning into a darker shade of red. breath taken away, his eyes linger on your lips, blinking frequently.

yet, his relief only lasts for a couple seconds when the silence eventually makes you look up to seojun, only to find him already staring at you, eyes gazing at your lips.

not aware of your slightly surprised eyes, he continues staring. clearly, your bodies are almost attached to each other. not to mention, you leaned in a little earlier, grip on his shoulder to prevent him from moving. the young boy practically prays that you won’t hear his heart racing in his chest.

aren’t you even a little nervous? it almost makes him annoyed how the closeness doesn’t seem to bother you at all.

little does he know that you feel the exact same way. in fact, you’re so bothered by the butterflies in your stomach that you suddenly wish that he would just continue making dumb jokes or rude comments.

pulling your hand away from his shoulder in a swift move, you blink. still, you’re not able to look away which seems so stupid and unbelievably odd. 

seconds after you catch glimpse of his hand getting closer to yours but that isn’t enough for you to look away.

why would someone look attractive with a beaten face? that doesn't make any sense.

seeing him in this state, bruises, messy hair, intense gaze, flushed face, makes you want to hug him, ask him what was wrong, tell him you were here for him.

however, right when you think he is going to say something or reach for your hand and hold it...

"guess who just ate two big delicious menus-"

juyeong.

the second your brother lays eyes on seojun sitting super close to you, his eyes widen in horror.

"o-oh adult business, i get it. i'll leave now. bye, hyung!"

yet, of course, before leaving your room he doesn’t miss the chance to make gagging noises.

"and y/n, sadly, there wasn't enough food for you."

his fake pout makes you want to throw your slipper at him but you just close your eyes for a second and exhale, trying to remain calm.

seojun only chuckles with amusement.

"mum! y/n and seojun hyung are a couple again. can she move out now?"

juyeong’s annoying voice can be heard all the way too my room. embarrassed, you glance at seojun, who is obviously trying to hold in his laugh.

"i'm sorry for my brother."

"you don't need to be."

"a-anyways, are you better now? i mean your bruises?" you stammer while pointing at his face, wanting to ignore what just happened.

"yeah, a lot better. thank you."

he trails off, eyes darting through the room,

"i-i should probably leave now."

right, your stupid self forgot to ask him about his mum.

"i heard about your mum. i hope she's doing better?"

“thankfully, she is. it's a little difficult for us but we’re going through this."

“hopefully she’ll feel better soon. i’m sure you’re taking good care of her,”

you’re always like that. caring about others more than yourself.

“if you need anything, i’m here.”

he smiles genuinely, “thank you.“

and that's when he leaves.

_

the sun shines outside the next day. but instead of going out and enjoying the nice weather like other normal people, you lay on your bed while thinking about the previous day. strangely, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way seojun made you feel. 

why did your heart race? why were you left speechless?

in the corner of your mind, there’s been an explanation for your weird feelings for your childhood friend. although, you’ve always tried to ignore it and distract yourself.

but now, thinking about all the times seojun made your heart flutter, it just made sense.

you like him.

“no!”

with widen eyes you swiftly stand up, not believing yourself.

it couldn’t be, right? everyone feels this way to their friend at some point of their friendship, no?

but the thing is: you’ve been feeling like this the whole time. 

letting yourself fall on your bed, you scream into your pillow.

you like han seojun.

and there’s no way your former frenemy likes you back.

_

it’s another school morning as you walk into your class. this time however, you’re nervous to enter the room. after all, you’ll have to be around the one person you now feel nervous talking to. what if he notices your odd behavior. praying that he won’t approach you in a way that made your heart flutter, you eventually enter the classroom.

however, it seems like the universe is making fun of you when you’re met with something hundred times worse the moment you step into the room. instantly, all eyes land on you and all you hear are cheers and screams from your classmates,

“congratulations on dating, y/n and seojun!”

“you’re so cute together!”

“y/n and seojun sitting on a tree!”

at the sight of chorong and his group wearing t-shirts with your shipname printed on them, your eyes widen in horror. they think you’re dating han seojun?!

“why didn’t you tell me anything? i’m your close friend after all!”

sua pouts, hitting your arm playfully while your eyes are still glued on the ridiculous t-shirts.

“is it true, y/n?”,

from the corner of your eye you see soojin giving you a teasing smile.

“listen, guys. there has been a huge misunderstanding.”,

when you can finally focus on your friends, who surround you with curious looks, han seojun enters the classroom, completely unaware of what’s happening right now.

the young boy frowns at chorong after setting his bag on his table. yet soon his confused face changes to a shocked one, as he eventually notices the t-shirts, everyone congratulating him with cheerful laughter.

turning his head to you, he notices your helpless look while you tilt your head to the side. totally surprised by everything, seojun has no clue how to act at the beginning. 

finally, both of you manage to stand in front of the class, facing your classmates as they continue asking several questions,

“since when have you been dating?”

“no way! did anything happen during the school trip?”

“tell us the truth!”

frustrated, you move your hands in the air, trying to speak with a loud tone so that everyone can understand you,

“i don’t know how you came up with this rumor but seojun and me are only friends, okay?”

hearing your statement, everyone groans at the same time, not believing you at all,

“it’s so obvious! just tell us the truth.”

letting out a sigh, you turn your head to face seojun with an annoyed look,

“could you at least say something?”

however, seojun only raises his eyebrows before taking his hands out of his pockets,

“would you hate it that much?”

his sentence makes you frown and multiple questions appear in your head. not quite understanding his point, you continue staring at him with furrowed eyebrows before he finally slams his hand on the desk in front of him, catching everyone’s attention,

“you guys better stop spreading all those rumors around. she’s only my friend...,”

disappointed, many students groan before going back to their seats while others still don’t seem to believe seojun and shake their heads in denial.

seojun bends down to your height so that his face is only a few inches apart from yours before whispering with one eyebrow raised,

“...right?”

nervously you blink, sadness starting to grow inside you after hearing his words. of course, he only considers you as his friend. there’s no way he would see you as something more.

_

friday nights are always the same for you: watching your current favorite tv show while snacking on whatever you have at home. whereas other people from your grade probably club somewhere.

that night your phone rings and an unknown number appears on the screen. thinking it’s a stupid prank, you pick it up with an annoyed sigh.

"hello?"

"hello. is this y/n?"

"yes. who am i talking to?"

there is a short silence before the unknown person starts talking again,

"look, i work at this club near your neighborhood and this dude randomly passed out here. i found your number on his phone so i thought of calling you. can you maybe come and get him? he's seriously wasted a– dude, what the hell, stop spilling all the drinks!"

"i'm sorry but who are you talking about?"

you heard the unknown man mumble before answering, "seojung? seung- seojun?"

"han seojun?"

"yes! that's his name."

a short silence takes over when you sit up in shock.

"so, are you coming?"

you sigh before replying, "i need the adress.”

_

the moment you enter that club, you want to return to your house. many people dance on the dance floor, totally wasted. everyone is pressing their bodies against each other's. the loud music makes you feel even more uncomfortable. you look around and let out a relieved sigh when you find a bartender with a phone on his hand.

"hello, i'm here for seojun. the guy who–"

"hey, finally! he's right here."

you follow the man to the other side of the club, where people are sitting on the couches and drinks were sold every minute. it doesn’t take you long to spot seojun sitting on the couch. his eyes are closed but his head is swinging from left to right. you can’t believe your eyes. you’re pretty sure you haven’t seen him in a state like this ever before.

"don't worry. your boyfriend didn't hook up with anyone." the bartender next to you said.

"he's not my boyfriend."

"what are you then?"

"i'm his..." you trail off before answering,

"neighbor! i’m his neighbor!"

seojun shouldn't know that you came to pick him up at this time.

without waiting any longer, you help seojun getting up and wrap his arm around your shoulder. before leaving the club, the bartender reaches you seojun’s phone and makes sure to call a taxi. after thanking him you leave with seojun’s heavy body.

while waiting for the taxi to arrive, seojun keeps rambling stupid things you can’t understand. it’s getting harder for you to stand with him by yourself every minute, so you decide to sit on the bench with him, which is a couple steps away from the bus station.

you let out an exhausted sigh after sitting down and then turn your head towards him. suddenly you grab his face and make him look at you. he smiles like an idiot after you brush his bangs away from his forehead. his cheeks are extremely red, his lips pouting slightly and his eyes struggling not to close. your cold hands hold his warm, soft cheeks while you analyze his expressions. you have to admit: seojun looks cute.

after a few seconds he suddenly frowns. he narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side slightly, looks you up and down considerately before asking,

"who are you?"

“you don't know who i am?"

"hmmm..." he rubs his chin carefully, acting like he’s solving a mystery,

"no."

"good."

"you're telling me that that's fine?" seojun giggles and covers his mouth.

"yes, absolutely."

"alright! i'm han seojun. who are you?" he stretches his hand out for you to shake.

"does that matter?”

“of course! who are you, young lady?”

"that's not important right now. what matters is that you're extremely drunk. what were you doing here?"

"you're rude!" he pouts and crosses his arms,

"you won't even tell me your name."

"why are you acting so childish?"

"i-i don't know."

"never mind. that's fine."

"really?!"

"yeah, you're good."

you notice how his lips form a small smile,

"you're nice and then rude and then nice and then- you remind me of someone you know?"

yes, that's you.

"my friend y/n."

"oh, really?" you sarcastically laugh.

"yeah! she's like you. but prettier. like so much prettier. she’s pretty."

"that doesn't even make sense."

"huh?" seojun asks confused.

oh no, why do you have to be so cute.

"actually, it’s hard for me to be her friend." suddenly he’s all sad,

"sometimes i cross the line and don’t know my limits. but she's so dumb and stubborn!"

"and why is that?” frowning, you cross your arms in front of your chest, waiting for his response. 

he only sighs with tiredness, "never mind–"

and then he falls asleep on your shoulder.

_

finally you arrive at seojun’s house and fortunately all the lights are out. with his heavy body pressing to your small one, you struggle to carry him up the stairs. quietly, the door is opened by you before seojun falls into his bed. your head starts hurting, which makes you sit down next to him and massage your temples. however, you help seojun standing up and carry him to the bathroom carefully, in order to wash his face. he lets you take off his jacket and his shoes. finally he lays down on his back, with his face facing the ceiling.

"don't lie on your back." you demand.

"hm?" seojun’s eyes are firmly closed when he mutters with tiredness.

"lie on your side." you pull his body to the side, so that he could face you.

definitely, his facials expressions change. his lips are no longer pouted, his eyes extremely tired, his cheeks pale. from analyzing his face once again, you fail to notice him staring at you with his eyebrows drawn together. soon his confused expression changes to a sad one when you cover his body with his bed sheets.

"i'm sorry." seojun mutters suddenly. you expect him to continue, as he grabs both of your hands and slightly pulls you closer to him. a shiver goes down your spine.

"y/n, you deserve better."

he knows it’s you? 

"i know i treated badly but i need you."

his eyes are barely opened, his words barely understandable. your hands start shivering as his grip tightens.

"i-i should go."

"no! please stay here." he rambles drunkly.

you decide to stay a little longer, just until he would fall asleep and hopefully forget everything that has happened this night.

“i mi..."

you aren’t able to understand his quiet mumbling, so you lean in a little,

“what did you say?"

“i miss y/n."

silence takes over the room before you finally reply,

“i missed you too, seojun-ah.”

your words make him open his eyes immediately. with a surprised face he tilts his head slightly and narrows his eyes,

"y/n?"

instead of saying anything, you hold his hand while he’s still questioning your identity. all of the sudden his hands leave yours to grab your face. without waiting too long he pulls your face closer to his. instantly, your eyes widen when you notice the small gap between your noses. intensively, he looks into your eyes. so many emotions can be read from his look, yet you can’t figure out what he‘s feeling exactly. they have the most beautiful brown color you have ever seen. so deep, that you could get lost in them. only seconds pass, but it still feels like you were staring at each other for an eternity. you can even feel his soft breath on your face, which causes your ears to turn a dark shade of crimson.

seojun then glances at your lips before looking back into your eyes again. without waiting any longer he presses your lips together, one hand holding your cheek while the other grabs your waist. you let out a small gasp, your eyes remain closed, your whole body frozen. is this really happening?

when you’re finally able to kiss him back and hold firmly into his shoulders, he tilts your head, deepening the kiss. you feel your heart beating thousand times faster, almost exploding in your chest, as his soft lips press against yours. your face is glowing when you eventually wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, unable to resist the warm feeling. without doubt, you are sure that you've never felt something like this before.

seojun slowly pulls back when he feels your fingers softly tugging at his hair, leaving a small gap between your lips. you feel his breath on your face when he hums something before his lips meet yours for the second time, not giving you enough time to open your eyes,

“hmm, strawberries.”

feeling his lips forming a small smile, your heart is about to explode in your chest. seojun was insanly drunk but clearly enjoys the taste of strawberry lip balm, brushing his thumb over your cheek softly.

soon you break the kiss only to find seojun falling asleep on his bed seconds later. not believing what just happened you stare at him, admiring his features before panic takes over you and you rush out of his house.

would he remember any of this tomorrow?

_

to be continued...

(p.s: sorry for making you wait for so long🥺)

[tarlos-spain]

Like I'm the only girl in the world

Summary: After being injured during a shift, Carlos needs to stay home for a few weeks to recover. A few days later during a call out, TK finds a one-month-old baby girl, her dead drug addict mother, and then, without expecting it, he meets his black-eyed destiny staring back at him.

Pairing: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand

Notes: This story was born for the July Tarlos Bingo

Adknowledgements: Thanks to my precious team. @lire-casander always there with ideas, @morganaspendragonss the one helping me with my English, and @chaotictarlos and @trinipedia with their arts.

Chapter 01 : Whump Carlos/Worried TK

It was easy to be a paramedic when the victim was a stranger, sometimes a criminal, sometimes someone who suffered a stupid accident. It was easy to be a paramedic when the victim was left in the hospital, in the hands of good doctors. Tommy would give the information to the doctors and then his captain, Nancy and TK himself would climb back into the ambulance to continue their shift or to go home and forget about what happened.

Day to day life was easy and TK loved his job because he had never had to attend to someone important to him. Not until that night.

The call that came in on the ambulance radio said there was an injured police officer and after the first few times he had heard that and his heart had been in his mouth thinking it was Carlos, he had come to accept that his boyfriend wasn't the only cop in town.

But that night the feeling was different, he felt a shiver run through his body and clenched his hands as he felt them start to tremble.

"It's almost impossible that it's Carlos." Nancy told him resting her hand on her friend's leg.

"I know."

They were the nearest ambulance, so they went to the call.

TK was driving, so he was able to concentrate on the road ahead more than he was going through his thoughts.

It had been a while since he had had contact with Carlos, he had written him a couple of messages, but had gotten no response. He didn't worry about it, it wasn't the first time it had happened. When Carlos had a lot of paperwork for a case or when the reports piled up in a day, he didn't have time to take his cell phone out of his pocket.

There were several police officers moving around the residential area, two or three police cars and after getting out of the ambulance, TK looked around for Carlos with his eyes. He tried to find Mitchell as well, no one better than Carlos' partner could tell him where his boyfriend was.

But he wasn't fortunate enough to see either of them and that made him even more nervous than he already was.

"Hey, over here." One of the policemen said to them. "Over here, come on, he's bleeding out."

TK knew it before they arrived, he felt it in every fiber of his body and recognized his boyfriend's body as they approached.

He stifled a groan and for a moment, for a few seconds he managed to act like a professional and pulled the two bags out of the ambulance.

The three of them stood around Carlos. Despite the darkness around them, it was easy to see the bloodstain on his side growing in size despite the gauze Mitchell was pressing around the knife, the knife TK couldn't take his eyes off, the knife still stuck in his side.

He was struggling to breathe and his body was shaking. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting his lip struggling not to scream.

"TK I need..." Tommy looked at him for a second. "Nancy, I need to cut the bleeding, but I need light so I can stablize knife. Officers please."

Two police officers placed two lamps each on the floor.

"Captain, tell me what I can do." TK said in a shaky voice.

Now that he could get a good look at Carlos, pale, his back arched and uniform covered in blood, it made TK look closer and closer to losing his nerve and turning into an atomic bomb.

"I need you to be here and get Carlos to stop moving, otherwise he might shift that knife and hurt himself even more."

"OK.... ok..." TK kneeled next to Carlos, took his hand with one of his own and with the other stroked his cheek. "Carlos, babe, can you hear me?"

"It hurts...so much...I can't...breathe." Carlos moaned and squeezed TK's hand tightly.

Their eyes met and TK smiled. He wasn't quite sure if he would be able to hide the fear that coursed through his entire body.

"I know, my love... I know... But you have to hold on a little longer."

TK looked at Tommy and Nancy and then looked down at the wound. She had cut awaty his uniform and under shirt and his chest and belly were covered in blood. Plus, the knife was still there, stuck in his skin.

"We have to pull the knife out, but it's too deep, if it's ih his heart and I take it outnow it's possible he'll bleed out before we get to the hospital."

"TK... I can't... brea..." Carlos let out a choked moan. He opened his mouth again but nothing came out.

Keep Reading on AO3

[bluejay-writes]

Sae My Name - Chapter 1; Funhouse Mirror

What if the prime minister stole one of the Choi siblings from the hospital, and raised that child to think they were an only? What happens when she runs away to live her own life, and just happens to get led to Rika's apartment? Shenanigans, that's what.

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Rating: Mature Chapter 1 Wordcount: 3133 Pairings: MC (Jin) / Vanderwood, other background ships. Notes: This fic is focused around a trans MC, which plays a big role in her story. She is the focus character, though the rest of the RFA and side characters do play a part. You can also read this on Ao3, updating every Monday.

Prev / Next

Jin pulled her heavy red curls up off her neck and sighed. The summer heat was starting to get to her, but there was no way she was cutting her hair. Every time she did, people started calling her ‘sir’ again and she was not into that life, thanks.

“Excuse me.” A voice called out from behind her. “Are you Saejin Choi?”

Dropping her hair, Jin turned and blinked at the man in a three piece suit and sunglasses. Bodyguard. He sure stood out here on campus. She shook her head.

“Sorry, no.” She said, tipping her head just slightly. “Does she go here?”

Here, of course, was SKY University, which was huge.

“He. Yes, sorry. If you ever meet a boy with your hair color and gold eyes, tell him his father is looking for him, please.”

“Oh, absolutely!” Jin said, plastering a fake smile on her face before heading off in some random direction.

Fuck. He knows where I am. Time to move again.

On the windowsill of her favorite coffee shop, a phone buzzed. No one had been in the shop except her for more than an hour. Some poor soul had lost their phone and probably had no idea it was here. Maybe it was that blonde? Impulsively, Jin reached out and picked it up. There was a text message displayed on the screen.

If you’re reading this, please bring my phone to me!

There was an address and a door code. Jin sighed. She really didn’t want to go somewhere that a random abandoned phone told her to go. It would probably be smart to just hand it to the barista and head home. She had a limited amount of time to pack a bag and disappear again, and while she hadn’t found a new place to be yet a single bag to carry with her backpack wouldn’t be too suspicious. As she turned to pack up her computer and do exactly that she caught the eye of a bodyguard waiting out front, different from the one earlier, and noticed yet another one at the counter talking to the barista.

Shit. Okay. Out through the kitchen it is. Better to just leave behind everything that I can live without.

She tucked the abandoned phone into her pocket and sat there another minute or two ostensibly doing homework before getting up and heading to the bathroom, her laptop and cellphone sitting on her table. She had her wallet in her pocket and that lost phone, she may as well go to the suspect apartment - they’d have no reason to look for her there.

As she walked down the street a ways away from the coffee shop, she looked back. The bodyguard was still looking in the window at where she’d left her things. Good.

Jin knocked on the door. No response. Guess she’d have to use the door code. A few keypresses later, and the door swung open to an apartment so lavish she felt herself checking over her shoulder for more of her father’s goon squad.

She called out into the apartment but only silence greeted her. When she looked back down at the phone she realized that there was a chat there… and it knew her name.

Jin has entered the chat Yoosung★: STRANGER ALERT WEKRJEKWLJR! Yoosung★:  Yoosung★: ??????????? Who are u??? Jumin Han: Who is this? Jaehee Kang: Jin? How did you get in here? ZEN: ?? Who the hell is that? I think it’s a girl. V: … 707: Hold on, their location… 707: Hey, how’d you get inside Rika’s apartment? ZEN: Whaaat? Jaehee Kang: Even we don’t know where it is… The location is top secret. ZEN: How did she get in there?! Jin: Who are you people?! Yoosung★: That’s what we’d like to ask you! Jin: How does it know my name?! Jin: I was just trying to return this phone, it’s not even mine! Jin: How did I get invited to this chatroom?!! Jin: What in the world is going on??? 707: It’s Rika’s phone for sure, so I can’t pull up any other info. Yoosung★: Huh? I thought V had all of Rika’s things. Did she lose it? 707: How did you get into that apartment? Jin: I was given an address and a code. 707: I checked the security cam in the hallway, Jin is totally a girl. Jin: You can see me?! 707: And a cute one at that!! V: I don’t think she’s dangerous. I’ll go meet her myself. V: Jin, meet me at the cafe next to the building in 30 minutes. 707: V, I’m coming along. V: That’s unnecessary. 707: Too bad, I have something I need to check myself. Jin: Um. Okay. I’ll be waiting I guess?

Jin sipped the tea she’d gotten at the cafe and fidgeted with the phone in front of her. It wasn’t hers, but she literally had nothing to do but wait and she’d rather sip tea for half an hour at a cafe than sit in someone else’s apartment.

Even though she knew that her father’s goon squad were looking for her, she still pulled her distinctive hair up into a ponytail. Her fringe hanging in her face was enough, thanks. If only I could dye this mess, but it just won’t take the dye.

The bell above the door jingled and Jin looked up to see the teal-haired human she’d been expecting from V’s profile picture, but beside him was an unruly mop of red hair with suspiciously narrowed gold eyes behind danger-tape glasses. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror. She immediately stood and took two steps back.

“Jin?” V said, and that’s when she noticed the sunglasses, combined with the fact that he wasn’t reacting to the resemblance between herself and the man at his side. He seemed to be blind, like Mr. Kim, one of the guest lecturers they’d had in her photography class last semester. Wait, was this the photographer?

“I’m here.” She said, internally cursing herself for not learning how to disguise her own voice as she saw V tense slightly at her response.

“I’m not playing tricks on you, V.” The other redhead said from his side.

“Oh. That’s interesting, then, Luciel.” V said as he took a seat at her table.

“Who… are you?” Jin said, still two steps back from the table.

“Luciel Choi.” He said, holding out a hand to shake, which she did - though she was shaking more than enough without adding a handshake to it, but whatever.

“Jin.” She said, deciding that giving him more information was a bad idea until she knew whether he was working for her, no their, father. She was sure now he was related.

“Jin.” V said quietly. “Do you have a surname?”

“V.” Luciel said, his tone a warning, “I don’t think you want to push that right now.”

Shit, can he read my mind, too?

Luciel turned a smirking look her direction. “No, I’m not reading your mind, you just have no poker face.”

Jin sighed, and sat down, emptying her tea mug all at once as if it were a shot of alcohol before setting it back on the table with a thunk.

“I’m too sober for this. Who are you, why am I here, and should I be running for my life?” she pushed the phone across the table. “This is the phone, you can have it back.”

“We’re the RFA, a charity group. You’re here because someone got our old party coordinator’s phone and information to you then led you to her home and office. And you’re free to leave, but I get the feeling that you didn’t ask all of your questions yet.” V said, and Jin sighed. “So.. I’m going to go order drinks, and maybe you can ask Luciel whatever it is you two aren’t saying with me here.”

V got up and walked slowly up to the counter.

Jin sighed.

“You work for my father, right?” she said, watching the golden eyes across from her so closely that she saw the moment of shock in them.

“Fuck no.” He said. “How old are you, Ms. Choi?”

Jin sighed. “21. 22 next week.”

“June 11th.” Luciel said, deadpan, and it was Jin’s turn to be surprised.

“How did you—“

“You’re close, but you’re no replacement for us.”

“Replacement? Us?”

“I had no idea he was so desperate to steal us away that he’d groom a replacement child. Hair’s a perfect match but the eyes are off by a country mile.”

“These are contacts.” Jin said, not sure why she was sharing that much, but being called a replacement had hit her in a way she wasn’t prepared to cope with. No one should have had to go through what she went through. And if she was a replacement… what had they gone through?

“Ohho, even better. Brown under there, I bet.” Luciel said smugly, and Jin seethed.

She reached up and slid one of her contacts aside to show him the gold hiding behind the green plastic before blinking it back into place. She didn’t dare just take one out, she didn’t have anywhere to put it or any solution to rinse it before putting it back in.

“Fuck.” Saeyoung said quietly but full of emotion, as V sat back down at the table.

“Why are you taunting me like this?” She said roughly. “Do you think I want this life? Constantly looking over my shoulder for his fucking goon squad to come and take me back to that hell? I’m not pulling some elaborate prank here. I just want to live.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she looked anywhere but at Luciel.

“Long-lost sister?” V asked, sliding a tea refill and a cookie across the table to Jin.

“I don’t have any sisters.” Luciel said. “Mom used to talk about how father stole our brother from her, but I was mostly sure she couldn’t tell us apart and thought we were one child most of the time. Why am I saying any of this?”

“Because you’re looking in a funhouse mirror and the entire world seems like it fell on its head?” Jin offered, her voice shaking. “That’s how I’ve felt since you walked in, and I’ve definitely shared way more than is safe for me to have done. Listen, you don’t have to trust me about any of this and it’s probably safer if you don’t, but at least listen about his goons being out looking for me and keep your head down for a bit. Our hair is a beacon.” 

Luciel made a noncommittal noise, and Jin sighed.

“Look, I should go.” She stood, and started to push in her chair before V spoke up.

“At least drink your tea and eat your cookie?” V said, in such a persuasive yet calm tone that Jin plopped back into her chair like a boneless fish.

Ugh, why am I even here? I should be trying to reclaim my things from the coffee shop, or seeing if I can sneak back into the apartment to grab clothes to lay low under a bridge for a bit. Instead I’m sitting here with low-budget daredevil and my creepy hacker doppelganger.

“Jin.” V said quietly, pushing the phone back across the table at her. “You should keep this. So you can chat with the members more.”

Jin looked at the phone, and at V, before remembering he couldn’t see her thinking. “Why does that seem like a good idea? You don’t know me. I don’t know you, and I’m only going to be a bother to him.” She gestured at Luciel, irritated.

“Because someone wanted you to have that phone. To meet us. And until we figure out who and why, the safest thing we can do is play along. Besides, Jumin’s already taken a liking to you.”

Luciel looked startled. Jin thought back over the small chat conversation, and shook her head.

“I didn’t really talk to anyone enough for someone to take a liking to me.” She said bluntly.

“No, but you said enough that Jumin is determined you’re interesting and honest, and he wants to meet you.”

“V, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Luciel said.

V sighed. “Just take the phone, Jin. Use it or don’t, up to you.”

Jin nodded, not feeling up to arguing further with a blind man. As she took a sip of her tea, Luciel pulled his phone out - it had been buzzing apparently.

“Hey Yoosung. Yeah, I’m still with Jin and V. Oh. Hang on, let me ask.”

“Hey, quick question.” He turned to her, and not to V, and she blinked. “You didn’t happen to abandon an entire table of technology and homework at the Study Bean on campus, did you?”

Jin winced. “I did. How…”

Luciel waved her question aside and focused on his phone again.

“Yeah, it’s our Jin’s.”

“…”

“You have it?”

“…”

“Sweet, can I give her your address?”

“…”

“Okay, see you soon, Yoosung.”

Luciel hung up the phone and met her eyes.

“So, wanna go on a field trip to get your things? Yoosung claimed they were his because some sketchy dudes kept eyeing them, and caught your name on one of the assignments.”

Jin cursed. Of course she’d managed to get some poor innocent college kid involved in this mess. This was why she didn’t get to have friends.

“He could be in trouble. Those were Father’s…” Jin cut herself off, biting her lip. “Give me that address, I need to…”

“Yeah, I thought you might say that. Yoosung’s a smart kid, don’t worry. And I’m taking you there. You’ll have to forgive me - I don’t trust you with Yoosung yet.”

Jin cursed under her breath.

“Fine. I hope you’re right about how smart this kid is.”

Jin looked at the car that Luciel led her to and froze. 

“No.” She said succinctly and turned to leave.

“Hold on, Sis.” He said, moving closer but not getting between her and the exit.

“I bought this car with my own hard earned money. You’re not going to look down on my babe just because you think I shouldn’t have money, are you?”

“Your babe?” Jin laughed. “Ugh. Fine. I always wanted to ride in a Herrari. Just know this goes against my better judgment.”

Sitting in the sports car made Jin feel even more out of place.

“What are we going to tell Yoosung?” She asked quietly, and Luciel sighed.

“Depends. He’s going to pick up on the awkwardness right away.”

“V picked up on the awkwardness and as far as I could figure, he’s blind. This damn hair is a dead giveaway.”

“Well, yeah. Yoosung’s cute, but he’s also an idiot. He’s likely to think we dated or something.”

“Agh, god, no.” Jin paused. “I mean no offense, but gah.”

“I feel similarly. I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister.”

Jin grumbled something under her breath, and Luciel glanced her way but didn’t ask.

“Seven!!” The blonde behind the door launched at Luciel the moment he opened the door, and Jin watched with one eyebrow raised as her brother (gods that is still weird to think about) picked him up and spun him about before setting him back down out of the way of the door.

Yoosung’s eyes automatically tracked to hers, and Jin got to see as his eyes widened to look at her. Ah. Shit. I thought Luciel said he was an idiot though… also we totally have had classes together, and he never reacted then… okay, maybe he really is an idiot…

“Seven! You brought a cute girl! Is this Jin? Jin’s a girl?! You both have the same hair! I’m jealous. Maybe I should dye mine red.”

“Calm down, Yoosung.” Luciel said, and Jin smirked.

“Hi.” She said. “I’m Jin. You rescued my stuff?”

“I did! Why did you leave it all behind? This is a really nice laptop!”

Yoosung turned and grabbed her backpack which had all of her things carefully packed back in it.

“Uh…” Jin didn’t know how to explain anything at all to Yoosung without getting him in more trouble. “Reasons.” She said, finally.

“Oh!” Yoosung said, like something clicked. “Do you work with Seven? That would explain why he wanted to meet up with you and V.”

Jin looked at Luciel, who seemed to be doing some extensive mental calculations.

“She looked like someone I knew, is all.” Luciel said, finally. “But who knows, anything can happen!”

Jin chuckled. No it couldn’t. She was about to drop off the face of the planet.

“Do you want to game? Or watch something? I never get to see Seven anymore, and…”

Jin shook her head, and Seven apologized.

“Sorry, Yoosung. Those sketchy dudes think Jin is someone she isn’t, and we don’t want to get you in trouble too.”

“Aw, dang. LOLOL later though?”

“It’s raid night, of course I’ll be there.”

“So, are you two an item?” Jin asked when they were back in the car.

“No. No no no.” Luciel said, laughing. “We’re just good friends.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.”

“Why’d you ask, do you like Yoosung?”

Jin blushed. “No, I… I mean he’s super cute, but I’m not…”

Luciel laughed, a ridiculous grin on his face.

“You’re fun to tease, Jin.”

“Shut up, Luciel!” Jin said, her blush seemingly a permanent fixture.

After another few minutes of awkward silence, he sighed.

“Saeyoung.” He said, softly.

“What?”

“My name. It’s Saeyoung.”

“Oh. So Luciel is…”

“My baptismal name.”

“You’re Catholic?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Huh. Cool. I’m Saejin. Nice to meet you, Saeyoung.” A name for a name. It’s only fair. And the Sae… yeah, they were definitely siblings.

“No one else knows it so… stick to Luciel, or Seven if you’d rather.”

“Ooh, I like Seven better. You just keep calling me Jin and we’re even.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” Seven asked, almost quietly enough that she missed it.

“What is it?”

“Don’t disappear? I already lost one brother, I can’t lose my sister too.”

Fuck. How did he know? Now I have to figure out what I can do to stay safe and not disappear… though to be honest having someone who knows who I am and still accepts me… it’s really nice.

“I’ll try not to. It’s hard right now with father’s goons close on my tail.”

“You can stay with me, if that’s safe enough.” Seven offered.

My choices here are to give in and trust my older brother 100%, or to run and run now. Trust it is.

“I don’t want to risk your home.”

“It’s a fucking bunker, it’s probably fine.”

“Oh. Well, okay then.”

“Good, ‘cause we’re here.”

[saturnsummer]

flutter and kicks

notes: from lay's @/__ryubeom tweet + a pregnant solhwi anon ask. in headcanon form since it's more spontaneous! 

hello tumblr fam! i know, it’s been long... but ficfest and all has kept me kinda busy. a little different this time! a headcanon after a long time, since it’s more fun and easy on the eyes!

extra notes: drumstick reference to hospital playlist episode 4! a little reference to @scripturiends twitter au “dynasty” at the end. have fun! as usual, grammar mistakes by me!

attorney sol and prosecutor joon hwi have been married for a couple years, now well into their early thirties.

sol and joon hwi always take walks in the parks and wondered what it would be like if they had their own.

sol was initially hesitant, with her experience of broken families and having no dad figure. what makes her think her child could grow up in a loving family, if she didn't have one she could be a role model or look up to?

but joon hwi had it worse, having been an orphan from young, and raised by his uncle, his cousins, aunts and relatives ostracising him. yet, he still believed in the happy family he always wanted with sol.

he dreamt of kissing his kids good morning, sending them to school before going to work and sending his wife to work. on nights, they would work on their kid's homework together in fun ways and tuck them in bed after bedtime stories. they would spend the weekends at parks, meeting with seungjae's kid, and the children of their friends.

sol came round eventually, seeing how joon hwi never stopped believing. this time, it was different. joon hwi is not her father, nor is he her step father. he is han joon hwi, the man that saved her lives multiple times. han joon hwi, the man that stood by her when lee man ho was her biggest threat to her family. han joon hwi, the man who loves her, despite being a klutz in school.

he is han joon hwi, the man that loves her for every imperfection and perfection she has.

sol and joon hwi start trying for a baby, which is especially timely when kang sol's mom asks when is she gonna have a grandchild to hold and byeol pipes up saying she would love to have a brother as opposed to sister. (15 years with sisters have made her wonder what it would be to have a little baby boy in the house instead.)

a few weeks after their first time trying passes and sol has been feeling more tired. she's been busy with case after case at kang and park, so she doesn't think much.

only when she misses her period, she freezes. as stressed as she was, even in law school, she has never missed her period or was late. with shaky breaths, she wonders at the slightest chance of having a little life grow in her, as her hand unconsciously travels to her stomach.

sol is excited, but nervous at the thought that maybe nine to ten months later, she would have a child she can call her own in her arms.

over the weekend, sol raised this to joon hwi. joon hwi stops everything and even though he is beyond excited, he stays calm looking at how nervous sol is. together, they go out to get two pregnancy tests, where sol takes it.

the ten minutes of waiting were a complete torture for sol, as she paces back and forth.

"sol, stop pacing. you're going to burn a hole in our floor."

"joon! what- what if it really happens? i'm not ready! how are we ready? you just started your career in the prosecutor office, and i'm buried under cases! i can barely take care of my mom and byeol and myself, what about the child? oh no, what if i'm a bad mom?"

"honey, sit down. look, we'll get through this together okay? no one is ever ready for their first kid. remember seungjae-hyung? he freaked out the day juyeon-noona went into labour and he's a doctor! it's okay, just calm down, alright? do you want warm water?"

when the timer rings, they look at both the tests, showing the double lines indicating a positive test.

sol was pregnant. sol was going to be a mother. joon hwi was going to be a father. their family was starting.

shaking, sol finally let her emotions hit as her tears fall. she was so caught up worrying about herself, life, her work, family; she hadn't had time to process her own feelings on her own. she wanted the feeling of joy of holding her child. she wanted to know what it was like to share a mother's bond with a child.

joon hwi, looking at his wife, only hugged her as she teared up in happiness. his dream of having a family is finally coming. even better, his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, was next to him.

"what are you crying about? you should be happy!"

"j-joon h-hwi ah... we're going to be parents.."

but their journey was far from over. they booked an appointment with juyeon and made juyeon stay quiet about this. seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeats of their unborn child was enough to move sol to another round of sobs and joon hwi held his wife's hand while the tears ran down his face. together, they smiled, knowing that a life was born and growing.

all could have been hidden, but seungjae walked in that moment, asking if his wife wanted to join for lunch. sol and joon hwi were prepared to lie, but having a printed ultrasound scan in their hands, and the fact that they were in juyeon's clinic, a OB-GYN clinic, confirmed suspicions.

"juyeonnie, do you want to go for— joon...hwi?"

"oppa..."

"ah, congratulations sol. congratulations joon hwi." seungjae only smiled looking at the best people he knew become parents. he recognised the pride in joonhwi's eyes, the same eyes he had when juyeon told him they were expecting.

the new parents smiled at their brotherly figure as they wished them a good lunch.

but out from the corner, yeseul spotted joonhwi and sol as she walked into the clinic and she locked eyes with sol. sol slams the door shut and drags joon hwi back and groans, letting a defeated whine.

"sol-ah, what's wrong?"

"yeseul is here! she's probably here for a regular check up, the one she told me about last month!"

and with that, their phones started beeping with countless notifications.

yeseul could put two and two together, especially when it wasn't just sol, but joon hwi in the clinic as well. she texted her boyfriend, bokgi, who spat out his soup when he was eating with yebeom, who sent a string of messages to the group chat.

when sol opens the door again, yeseul only gives a sheepish smile.

"yeseul ah..." sol sighs and joon hwi only smiles, too happy to hide this secret.

"sorry unnie, i can't miss the moment. congrats unnie, oppa! hello, seungjae-oppa, juyeon-unnie!"

"thank you, yeseul. we'll see you next week, as usual?"

behind them, seungjae grumpily argues with his wife.

"why are my ex-classmates seeing you more than i do? i literally work, like, five blocks down at the police station! they live all over seoul!"

"honey, let me see yeseul first, okay? then let's go get lunch. i heard they are serving drumsticks in the canteen today.”

-----

pregnancy wasn't easy for sol. she insisted on working, despite attorney park's orders to take on lesser cases in court. sol couldn't find it in her heart to reject her clients.

yeseul, working closer to sol, would lunch with her to make sure she eats for the sake of her baby. joon hwi did his best to join, despite sol's arguments to not bother and that she can care for herself.

her morning sickness was bad, and she would wake up giddy and nauseous. many times, joon hwi wanted to call jiho to ask him to cover him, but sol would not let him do it. she'll pull herself together and go to work, and promise to take work lightly.

on days she couldn't get out of bed and she was too tired, her mother would come over and cook her nutritious soups, stock their fridge with vitamins and supplements and tonics for sol.

sol's cravings were also odd. she was never one to like sweets, but she found herself craving sugary cakes, cookies and pastries. joon hwi made it a point to stock their cabinets with cookies and buy a cake whenever he could for his wife.

joon hwi was honestly the best husband anyone could ask for. he helped to tidy the house, clean the house while sol was resting. he made soups and tucked sol in bed on her down days.

sol felt bad that she was being cared for and doing nothing in return, but joon hwi would always remind her that she was already doing the most important job, which is to literally grow their kid inside her.

many nights before bed, they would sit together and their hands would rest on her stomach, as they whisper sweet things to their to-be child.

when sol first felt the kick of her child with joon, they smiled so wide, all exhaustion from reports and arguments in their offices were gone. all that mattered was their child responding.

yeseul was beyond excited, as she helped sol with getting furniture and clothes. the study group came together to help them set up a new cot in their small apartment, as the ladies sat while looking at the men, fixing a cot with much difficulty.

aunty yeseul was the first to buy a stuffed bunny for her unborn child, and sol b, even though she was usually cold, offered to babysit in the future.

eventually, attorney park made sol work at home instead of going to the office. she argued that professor kim eunsook was able to teach while pregnant, but attorney park only said "yang jonghoon's orders" and it was enough to shut her up from any complaints.

of course, professor yang. the only person attorney park really is afraid of and listens to.

when they found out that sol was having a boy, joon hwi was lost in thoughts, wondering if he will grow to be like himself. but sol only placed a hand over his and gave a comforting smile.

"remember what you said at the beginning? whatever it is, he will be of the next generation. from him, it will be different."

they then would discuss how they wanted joon hwi's dimples, sol's twinkling eyes and cheekbones and joon hwi's charming smile.

closer to the due date, jiho stepped in to cover for joon hwi as he started to work half days, afraid of leaving his wife at home. sol, now heavily pregnant, really only commuted to the bed from the bathroom and then to the table, where she would spend most of her time reading or doing something relaxing.

yeseul made sol put her on speed dial with sol b, just in case, and so they would be the first to know too.

the morning came when sol woke up to a wet bed and shook joon hwi awake when the contractions kicked in. joon hwi snapped out, grabbed their hospital bag and guided sol to the car where both of them spent the next day in the hospital as sol went through nine hours of labour pains, and another two hours pushing her baby boy.

joon hwi never left once, standing by her side and holding her hand as she pushed her baby out, wiping away the sweat from her face.

when the time came for him to be held in his mother's arms, sol only smiled, knowing that as tough as the past ten months of working, no caffeine and staying up late nights was, it was all worth it for the little life in her arms.

as his son's hand grabbed onto joon hwi's finger, joon hwi made a promise to love this child unconditionally, to guide him in the right direction and bring him up well. sol was right. from him onwards, it will be different.

welcome to the world, seungjun.

[cherrynojutsu]

Title: Years Past

Summary: Sakura haunts their small home in grief, feeling already a ghost even while surrounded with beautiful raven-haired children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As she sees each and every one of them over the months that follow, a select few stare back with her own eyes. Most of them are so like her husband's, though, luciform soot flecked with silver, and she feels so sorry when she looks too long and starts to cry. Romance, Character Death, Sad With a Happy Ending, Sakura POV.

Disclaimer: I did not write Naruto. This is a fan-made piece solely created for entertainment purposes.

Rating: T

A/N: A little late to this prompt, but better late than never, I suppose. This has been sitting in my drafts since June, but reading it made me emotional and I got distracted by writing things for Like Gold. I apologize for the tardiness!

Sasusaku Month 2021, Day 7 Prompt: Years Past @ssskmonth

AO3 Link - FF.net Link

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Sakura passes in her sleep, marcid and weary of a broken heart and missing mismatched eyes, at the age of eighty-two.

It is longer than most Shinobi make it by far, but she doesn't feel very grateful for it, in the last five excruciating months of her life.

Her husband hadn't made it to eighty-two; Sasuke-kun passed in December. It had been peaceful, all three of their children, most of their grandchildren, and even some great grandchildren, the ones not on missions outside of the village, at his bedside.

Sakura had been there, too, old and frail and holding his hand. She'd kissed him goodbye tearily, sensing it was almost time after decades of watching it happen to others inside secluded hospital walls. It had been in front of nearly all of their descendants, family the only thing helping to hold her together in his final moments.

He hadn't complained. He'd kissed her back, for everyone to see, and Sarada and the twins had started crying, then, squeezing their hands around those of their parents, because they knew it really was time.

He had thanked her, said her name one last time, all equanimity even then. Then, so softly, "I love you. I'll see you next time," before he went, bones settling wearily at long last.

There had been melancholy in his expression even in death, wrinkled skin turning glaucous and beginning to sag against old, hardened muscle.

Sasuke-kun was buried next to Itachi’s memorial. There is a plot he saved for her on his other side, his right arm, the hand she held so many times in life.

Sakura haunts their small home in grief, feeling already a ghost even while surrounded with beautiful raven-haired children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As she sees each and every one of them over the months that follow, a select few stare back with her own eyes. Most of them are so like her husband's, though, luciform soot flecked with silver, and she feels so sorry when she looks too long and starts to cry. Little Satoko, their newest great-grandchild all of eleven months old who she dotes on endlessly, reaches at her wrinkled cheeks to try to wipe them dry, babbling out a garbled version of "Oobasan, no cwy." He is talking earlier than most babies, stormy eyes eerily full of awareness and an endless lineage, just like Sarada at that age. Sakura laughs as she sobs, cradling him close to her heart, and looking out her window at their daughter's visage on the mountain. It is also Satoko's grandmother's image; it is hard to believe their sweet little baby is now old enough to be a grandmother. She remembers the first time Sarada had smiled at Sasuke-kun, the first time he held her at only an hour old, and he broke down sobbing.

She makes the trek to Sasuke-kun's grave every day for 138 days, each step an arduous agony, before stooping down to lay a fresh daffodil atop the soil where her husband's bones rest. She has also planted white lilies around his headstone, the same as those that surround Itachi's and the Uchiha Memorial Stone. Her children help her keep them watered as needed through a short spring drought; she is too old to carry a watering can now without spilling.

She misses him. It hurts worse than Sasori's poison or Madara stabbing her or giving birth or a giant shuriken nearly cleaving her in two.

There is joy to be found in the desolation, too, in her last few months of life. Their progenies throw her a birthday party like none other, and she eats her fill of cake while watching little hands eat some, too. Little Satoko dances, or moreso balters, with Sarada in time to a dramatic song he finds by pressing buttons on the radio; it is not a very appropriate tune for a dance with a toddler, all clumsy crescendo and orchestra, but amusing all the same. Sasuke-kun would have smiled, if he were there.

The white lilies bloom before her eyes one last time, resplendent and perfect. She gets to hear about Haruki making Chunin on the first try, every bit the pride of the Uchiha, reborn anew with Sharingan blazing. She even gets to see Akiko make Jonin in person, ambitious and ingenious with Sharingan and diamond seal on her forehead setting her apart from her adversaries in the arena.

But finally, at long last, it is her culminating day. 138 days doesn't seem like a long time to be without him, compared to the larger number of days he was absent in their youth, but she finds it is worse, following their life together.

She tells them all she loves them and falls asleep for the last time, watches their confluence of family say goodbye from above. Sarada and the twins cry the hardest, clinging to her body as her heart finally pumps for the last time. Satoko is too young to understand, but he pats at her, too, in a sea of dark-haired descendants that she knows will continue to bring honor back to a clan revived at the brink of death. She takes in each and every one of their beautiful faces one last time, faces so similar to Sasuke-kun's; not a single one of them has her nose.

It is a legacy of love they have created, exactly the dream they started willing into color the day they discovered they had made Sarada together.

Then, she is on a dock that has slightly singed edges, looking over a small, familiar pond.

It is a spring evening, the sun just falling beneath the horizon and cherry blossoms abloom, and she thinks that is strange, because it is June and Hanami has already passed them by. Satoko had been so cute in his new outfit; she had made it herself, not much else to do in their empty house filled with aching memories. The tiny uchiwa on the back of his collar was sewn with the utmost care, the kind that came from decades of practice.

Crickets chirp, cicadas buzz, and there are a few fireflies leaking out of the greenery, soft light reflectant in the stillness of the water. It is serene. She had sat on this dock many times with her husband, when he was alive, on his right side so she could hold his hand. He told her she was beautiful during Hanami here, every year. She shifts to begin the process of sitting down, planning on leaving the space he'd taken up in life empty for him, in case his ghost is around. She has felt it, sometimes, tugging at her own spirit; she leaves his side of the bed empty every night, trying to will him back to her.

As Sakura shifts, she looks down, and she is startled to see pink hair instead of white, and no wrinkles. She crouches to analyze herself more closely in water still as glass, and there are no creaking old bones. She is young again, somehow.

She is overjoyed; she will be able to water the white lilies herself again. She can even dance with little Satoko now.

Light footsteps sound behind her, and just as she stands and turns, she is being swept into an unfamiliar yet comforting pair of arms. A woman with long inky hair, black as night, is hugging her tight.

"Thank you for loving my son," she breathes immediately, and Sakura starts crying, because she somehow knew who it was before she even said anything, without even seeing her face. When her eyes focus blearily through tears over Mikoto Uchiha's shoulder, Sasuke-kun's brother is walking up not far behind her.

Itachi Uchiha is smiling at her like she's done something wonderful, like he has been waiting for years to meet her. He is younger, healthier here, flecks of silver dancing in eyes just like her husband's, just like their childrens'. There's an impossible ache in her chest.

He waits patiently for his mother to pull back. When she finally does, Sakura looks into her eyes, and Mikoto is smiling at her so big, like she hung the moon in the sky, beginning to peek out from behind clouds above them.

"I have waited so long to meet you," she says, eyes shining, and her eyes are like Sasuke-kun's, too. "You are so beautiful."

Then Itachi is embracing her, and Sakura cries harder, because his arms feel almost like Sasuke-kun's arm had felt, slipping around her for sixty-one years of marriage, the same height and strong.

"I have waited, too. It's an honor. Thank you, for everything," Itachi says as she sobs.

"They are so beautiful, too, Sakura," Mikoto adds softly, hand at her shoulder, and she knows she means their children, Mikoto's grandchildren that she hasn't gotten to hold yet, Sarada and the twins and their children and all the others. Little Satoko had made twenty-seven blood relatives; including spouses who married into the clan, the number was thirty-eight, and there were two more babies on the way, yet.

Itachi lets her go, smile tender when he pulls away. He directs his gaze momentarily to the path leading up the hill, as if he's looking for someone.

She follows his gaze; Fugaku Uchiha is coming over the top, all stoicism even as a spirit. He stops momentarily and gives her a nod of recognition, not breaking eye contact for a long time.

Then, he glances back over his shoulder, tilts his head as if telling someone to follow him down the hill, and Sakura is running, though she hasn't been able to for years.

Sasuke-kun is all of twenty again, young and strong, too handsome for his own good and every bit the sweet but stoic man she fell in love and grew old with. He's smiling at her, just for her, and she's in his arms - he has both, here - in the blink of mismatched, teary eyes.

His arms feel like home, two spirits together in permanence at long last. It is the same feeling as the little piece of heaven they touched together whenever they made love, souls intertwining, but this time for good. She has missed him. Oh, she has missed him.

"...I told you I'd see you next time," he murmurs against her hair.

[yong-bokk]

all in ¹

pairing: special agent ! han jisung x reader

genre: frenemies to idiots to lovers fluff with a dash of sad

warnings: mentions of drug dealing and someone got shot

u are !! angry !!

no

scratch that

u are ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノFURIOUS!!! ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ

ur pen magically disappeared from your pen holder. AGAIN

and this time it’s the new carrot-shaped one you just bought

٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶ ٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶ ٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶

u don’t need to be a detective to figure out the culprit behind this

bc it’s who else other than,,,,

“HAN JISUNG”

hyunjin, putting on his earphones: “here we go again”

“yes, love?”

GOD u wish u could wipe that cute stupid smile off his cute face

“STOP. STEALING. MY PENS.”

(○｀д´)ﾉｼ Σ(っﾟДﾟ)っ

u’re going to sue chan

why chan, u ask

bc “bickering with han jisung daily” was definitely not part of the contract he gave u when u decided to join the skz criminal investigation division

but here u are

shooting glares at the special agent sitting at his table across yours, filling in paperwork with your carrot pen

and that’s just how everyday is

he teases you all the time and takes ur things

you take revenge by stealing from his ‘secret’ lollipop stash

“STOP. STEALING. MY CANDIES.”

you, popping one into your mouth: “i literally don’t know what you’re talking about, love”

(ง •̀_•́)ง “u come near my babies again and i’ll FIGHT u”

he says that

but jisung always buys more of your favourite flavour

he'd rather quit than admit that to you though !!

the two of you bicker 24/7

and everyone else just wants you two to shut up and kiss

i mean

it’s not like u two hated each other or anything

hate is a strong word

and deep down the two of u know it’s all just friendly banter

and u know this because

there was this one time

u had to stay up late to catch up on the biggest pile of paperwork u’ve been procrastinating on

at god-knows-what-o’clock u decided to rest ur eyes

just close them for a couple of minutes,, right? (◍ᐡᐤᐡ◍)

wrong!

u ended up closing them for a good HOUR before waking up and realising that u

one: did NOT finish the pile of work u promised chan u’d hand him that day

and two: overslept and is most definitely very, very late to a very important meeting

u wanted to cry but fuck u didn’t even have the TIME to cry

just when u thought ur day couldn’t get worse

it suddenly rained hard when u were just 5 minutes away from the office

( ◞‸◟)

sorry reader

that day was just /not/ ur day

u stepped into the office shivering like one of minho’s kittens after a bath, drenched from head to toe and creating mini puddles wherever u stand

u barely sat down when jisung threw something at u

honestly u were about to yell at him but then u saw

?????

he threw u his hoodie

and sweatpants

and also the warmest towel

and u just sat there staring at him bc ur last half of a braincell was: surprised

“hurry up and go change before u catch a cold, dummy”

u would’ve smacked him for calling u a dummy on any other day

but u made ur way to the restroom and changed

jisung’s hoodie felt way better than the soaked dress shirt you had on

it he smelled nice too

u’ll never know how chaotic his heart became when he saw u waddle back to ur desk looking like the absolute love of his life in his clothes

han jisung on the outside: ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎

han jisung on the inside: ⁄(⁄ ⁄>⁄ ㅅ⁄<⁄ ⁄)⁄ AKJSDFSDFASKDJ

u also don’t know this but han went to chan that day and asked him to let u off the hook for being late that day

he also asked for half of your paperwork

but this one u found out

bc u bumped into him walking towards chan’s office holding a stack of paper with a bright yellow post-it on top of it

and your name written on said post-it

“is that,,, my paperwork?”

…………

“,,,,no?”

“han jisung”

“alrightyeahmaybe…..”

“u-u did my paperwork for me?” (˃̣̣̥^˂̣̣̥`)

“don’t think too much of it, i was uh- i was just bored WAIT WHY ARE U CRYINGKSJDF”

that was a one-time thing

but yeah u definitely don’t hate jisung

and u’re pretty sure he doesn’t hate u too

even if u purposefully annoy each other on a daily basis

“i hate paperwork”

“yn if u say that one more fucking time i SWEAR-”

“u’ll do it for me?” (◕ᴗ◕`)

“U WISH”

:(((((

hyunjin: “okay shut up lovebirds. i have good news and bad news, which one do u want to hear first”

“good….?”

“good news !! you don’t have to do paperwork”

＾ワ＾) “and why is that?”

“bang chan is assigning u on another undercover case”

“that’s not bad news hyun-“

“-with jisung”

＾ワ＾) ?????!?!???!?!?!WHAT

u physically can’t even be together with jisung for longer than 2,5 seconds without start bickering with each other

what does he MEAN chan is assigning u two on an undercover case

“which part of ‘i’m assigning u and jisung on an undercover case’ do u not get”

“IT’S LIKE U DON’T EVEN KNOW US CHAN”

“listen . it’s a one-shot mission and i’m sure the two of u won’t fuck up. me assigning two of my best agents for this case is a well-thought decision”

( ´•︵•` )

ok so the case

a new club recently opened in town

and it’s currently the most popular one bc the owner is a very famous millionaire and has his famous guests over all of the time

however

there has been a couple of reports asking the officials to check for some suspicious activities going on inside

the reports seemed valid considering how details from different sources matched with each other

but the police can’t just barge in and do a thorough check

bc the one who owns the club is kind of a big deal

so ;—;

u and jisung

dressed up in the prettiest fanciest celebrity-like fits u own

in u go

it didn’t take the two of u long before u gathered up information

all u had to do now is catch them in the act and get rock solid evidence

it was supposed to be a simple fishy drug trade in a very fancy club’s private bathroom

from one of the stalls u got clear view of everything happening

but u weren’t paying attention

one second u were done sending the pictures to hyunjin

the next second u heard jisung yell ur name and suddenly someone’s on the ground ( ｡ _ ｡ )

turns out that someone barged in, attempting to shoot u but jisung got to him first

but they both didn’t miss

jisung took a bullet to his shoulder instead of u

from then on

ur body autopiloted and everything else was a blur

u helped him apply pressure on the wound as u requested help

guilt swallowed u whole when u saw him wince a little bc he thought u weren’t looking :((

the ambulance came and chan and hyunjin followed not long after

u just let them move jisung onto the stretcher and followed silently, not letting go of his hand

:(( jisung thinks seeing u like this hurts more than his wound does

“it’s okay, i’m okay. it’s not ur fault, yn”

he gave u a smile and squeezed ur hand but u know he’s just saying that bc he doesn’t want u to feel bad and worry

if it weren’t for bang chan asking u to stay for a couple of statements,

u would’ve gotten into the ambulance with jisung

(๑•́ ᎔ ก̀๑)

but u went to the hospital right after

u waited outside during the surgery and u saw him for a little while when he was still asleep

u haven’t seen him again since then

the next few days jisung was in the hospital, everything felt so… empty

the office felt so empty without jisung

u didn’t even know why u kept staring at his table

it wasn’t like he was going to pop out of nowhere

but (´•̥ ᵔ •̥`) u wish he would

hyunjin followed u everywhere and made sure to drag u away from paperwork for breaks and lunch

felix made u ur favourite batch of cookies in hopes u’ll cheer up

lee know even came in with two bags full of ur favourite snacks

“he’s not dead, yn”

but u know he was worried too

the office was just so gloomy without jisung

u can’t believe u’re saying this but u miss him

u miss bickering with him

u miss his stupid laugh when u yell out his name

u’d even let him steal all ur good pens if it means he’s going to be okay and come back

:(

by the end of the week, chan finally had enough

“yn u know u can’t keep doing this to urself”

“do what”

“come on, if there was one thing u hate the most it’s paperworks and u've been throwing urself into that without a single complaint.. it’s honestly quite concerning”

･o･ “u… called me in bc i wasn’t complaining about paperworks?”

“we both know why u’re here >: and i’m not talking to u as ur chief, i’m talking to u as a friend >: ”

……..

“i just miss him so much…. and it’s my fault, chan, it’s my fault he got hurt like that and he kept saying that he’s okay but-“

u felt bad for bursting out to chan like that but he was the one who cornered u first so >:

u walked out of chan’s office eyes puffy and although the others probably heard, u still hoped they don’t see u like this

u were about to dash for the restroom and hide there until ur eyes de-puff but

“i didn’t know u’d miss me this much”

?

???

?!@#$*(!@#$)!&@#%

u whipped ur head so fast and there han jisung was wearing his cute stupid smile

normally u would’ve thought of a snarky comeback already

but seeing him there right in front of u after a whole jisungless week

and after ur little breakdown session with chan

u couldn’t help but burst into tears again and hugged him like he was going to disappear if u didn’t hold him tight enough ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

jisung bit his lip to hold back a wince but couldn’t help and let out a little hiss when u bumped into the bandage on his shoulder

“i-i’m sorry”

u pulled away a little feeling bad for hurting him but he had u in his arms once again, holding u just as tight

“i’m perfectly fine, see? i’m not going anywhere, u can’t get rid of me that fast”

(´ •̥◡•̥ `) jisung smiled so wide when he heard ur tiny giggle

his babey ! no longer sad !

god knows how long the two of u stayed there hugging

until u heard someone clear their throat

that someone being chan

“i’m sorry but can u hug somewhere else, i really need to go”

bonus:

“wait u’re already discharged from the hospital?” (• . • ?)

“i heard u missed me and i can’t let my baby miss me any longer”

“han jisung-“

“i mean, i can’t say i didn’t miss u too-“

“U STILL HAVE UR HOSPITAL BRACELET ON U DID U RUN AWAY?????!!!!”

“……..i? discharged? myself?”

hhhHHHHhhhhh

[athys-obelia]

character/s: claude de alger obelia, diana of siodonna, felix robane

synopsis: it's...uhm....an empress!diana x concubine!claude crackfic 😭😭

warning/s: uhh a sprinkle of politics, the robane duchy is now siodonnan and not obelian screw canon, diana is lowkey mean to rogrog

a/n: i'm so sorry this is so bad

part one

felix's foot taps against the tiles of the empress' room impatiently. "you stayed up finalising the agreement all night, your majesty, perhaps some rest is due?"

diana spares him glance, turning sideways from her position on her bed. "what was his name again?"

  "pardon?"

  "the painter," she elaborates, pointing towards the painting on the ceiling above the bed. "i keep...i don't know, i keep finding new things the more i look at it."

  "is that so?"

the painting itself, a coronation gift from felix, depicts the goddess diana reaching out to the children of the world and vice versa. "if you look at the sky closely - remember our old siodonann classes?- 'for the people' is hidden in the stars. isn't that cool?"

the knight squints at the painting. "oh, i see it! i wonder why it's in old siodonann, though?"

  "i would guess it's because the imperial family wasn't worshipped in the old days," diana explains, "for example - right now, in some parts of the empire, my late father - bless him - and i may actually have shrines because people believe the imperial family's descent is from the gods. when the kingdom was just formed, though, kings and queens weren't allowed to ride alone in carriages as they greeted their subjects- they needed to have a slave with them at all times, who kept on repeating 'you are human' to them. 'you are human', 'we are all the same in the eyes of the true gods."

the sound of the army of maids behind the door is enough to pull felix out of his trance. "er...horatius calvus, your majesty."

  "hm?"

  "the artist, that's his name."

  "ah." diana turns to the painting once more, eyes staring at the goddess' hair that melted into the night sky. "would you be able to get in contact with him? i'd like to commission a piece."

felix bows gracefully. "as your majesty commands. oh, and - for the obelian delegates' farewell celebration tonight...has your majesty decided on an escort?"

she groans, falling back on the bed. "i've had so much free time lately, the harem is all i think about!"

  "very funny, ma'am. then...shall i prepare the usual?"

diana shakes her head. "i'll visit viscaria palace later and see for myself. the obelians brought some concubines with them as presents, it's be nice to weed through the bunch."

felix's eyes nearly pop out. "you're visiting the harem?! your majesty! did you find someone you like??"

she chucks a pillow at him before he can continue. "you weren't loud enough just now, fe, i don't think all of siodonna heard you."

  "...apologies, ma'am."

three years ago, when she had only just come into power, diana remembers being afraid of the large, gold doors between her and the council room. she remembers pausing before entering, regaining her breath, preparing her mind. projecting an image.

if there is one thing she has learnt, though, it's that only fools can be afraid of their own property. their assets. the larger-than-life doors swing at her command, allow or deny entrance with solely her permission. confidence comes easy when you act like you own the place - nevermind the fact that she did own most places.

but i have no reason to be afraid.

the obelian delegates stand at her arrival and bow like good little lords should before an empress. one of the more prominent ones stands to address her as soon as the meeting commences.

  "blessings and glory upon the sun of the great siodonnan empire," he says.

diana raises an amused eyebrow. this game, hm? "is that an obelian greeting, duke? how interesting. here, one would usually wish 'a long life to the protector of the siodonnan people'. that's all i am, after all - how could i be the sun?"

duke alpheus sputters. "er...i failed to acquaint myself with siodonnan culture appropriately, my apologies, your majesty. i shall do better next time."

how arrogant. still, she smiles, "i must confess, duke alpheus - i am slightly susceptible to praise, so i'll let you off this time."

  "thank you, ma'am."

  "although making the assumption that there will be a next time at all was quite courageous of you." diana signals the guards, who open the door to let the final participant of the meeting inside. "however -courage and bravery are traits best suited for kings and queens, duke. not lords."

the obelian delegates pale as they watch their - former - emperor, wrists bound, enter the hall with an entourage of knights.

diana glances at the newcomer. "although i suppose even for an emperor, too much of a bravado may cost a war."

anastacius de alger obelia glowers at her.

she frowns at the knights. "how come such a precious friend of mine is tied up like this? is this how we siodonnans treat our guests?"

felix bows deeply. "i apologise, ma'am - he was resisting far too much."

  "whatever the case. get a seat set up right here, beside me - after all," diana smiles at the fuming obelian, "we were dining together just a few months ago, weren't we?"

  "three months ago, to be precise," anastacius spits out, "after which you decided to switch tides and invade us like a coward."

she watches one of the knights set down a fancy chair to the left of hers, reaching out to untie the bindings on anastacius' wrist. diana frowns suddenly, waving over felix, "ah, is this the leash my brother used when he tamed his dragon?"

the former emperor flinches, staring down at it. "someone here tamed a dragon?" a light pink dusts his cheeks - did he really touch the actual leash of a dragon?

felix shakes his head with a small smirk. "this is the leash her majesty the late dowager empress used, ma'am. for her dog."

  "-ah, right, i remember now! all the ones marked with this little purple line are used for tying down senseless animals, aren't they?"

  "yes, your majesty." felix returns to his spot behind her, clear amusement swimming in his grey eyes as he watches the obelians try and maintain their composure.

diana gently lets the leash loose, a hand on the stunned anastacius' shoulder to lightly push him into the seat. "you aren't wrong - i did betray your hospitality, didn't i?"

roger alpheus winces at the sudden authority in her tone as the knights pass out a document to each of the obelian lords.

  "obelia's greeting and offer for peace was kind to me, so i must return this generosity. your country is now part of the siodonnan empire, so we should be parting on a good note. will a little present suffice?"

a brunette diana remembers to be a count speaks up, "...a gift, your majesty?"

felix moves closer to the table, watching the detailed map of siodonna carved into its centre. as he raises his hand, almost as if it were a chess piece, a small island moves to the left. its color flickers between a siodonnan purple and the obelian teal.

diana sighs. "i was planning on the island of delphine, since it not only contains a relatively large gold mine, but also much tourist attraction."

oh, she can see the stars in alpheus' eyes already. "thank you, your ma-"

  "but." he shrivels under her piercing gaze, "but, obelia doesn't need gold, does it? what you need is better foreign relations. and what better way to form an alliance..."

she eyes the map, and with a flick of felix's wrist, a small stretch of land connecting two continents switches from its original purple to a hue of blue.

diana looks up now, meeting even anastacius' shocked eyes. he eyes her suspiciously, "do you really-?"

she nods. "...consider it a gift from your sovereign. it is enough, yes?"

  "i- uh," duke alpheus blinks twice, "the isthmus of erven is...an adequate present, yes, your majesty. the people of obelia shall thrive due to your generosity."

  "it is not generosity, duke. your people are my subjects now. however, i hope you realise the isthmus isn't obelian property for obvious reasons. there is no trust between us. despite this, what i will allow is some access." diana stands, watching the foreign nobles mirror the action. "the terms and conditions of our relationship from this point onwards are in the papers before you and are, obviously, subject to change. feel free to approach me with concerns, should you have any."

  "you were firmer than i'd expected with the obelians, your majesty," felix comments.

diana recoils as his eyes light up at the sight of viscaria palace. "remember when i visited obelia for anastacius' coronation? i was only seventeen, but two years into my studies as heir - and they were all over duke renauld's son! poor cousin ronnie couldn't stop apologising."

felix snorts. "the renaulds wouldn't have dared challenge your majesty's claim, not while the late empress dowager was behind you."

  "ha! that's right, everyone was scared of mama." she grins fondly, "papa most of all."

the knight nods, murmuring a prayer.

  "i want them gone as soon as possible," diana admits, "but there's much to settle before that. i need to fix up anastacius before we can let him back, the second prince is still...what was his name, again?"

  "claude de alger obelia, ma'am."

she winces. "yes, he's an impo-"

a commotion sounds from within viscaria. felix raises an eyebrow at the shouts echoing from the beautiful building, a hand already atop his sheathed sword. "ma'am, stay back, i'll have a look- your majesty! where are you going-?!"

navigating through the decorated halls, diana halts before the entrance of the garden. the argument is between two men she doesn't recognise, as the older concubines gather to the side, amusing twinkling in their eyes.

  "attention!" felix roars, "her imperial majesty, empress diana celeste!"

the two freeze in fear.

  "disrupting my peace. how dare you?" diana demands.

one of them, dressed too finely for someone she hadn't even seen yet, steps forward. "your majesty, my name is xerre, i was only-"

she raises a hand, effectively shutting him up. tone softening, diana turns to the group crowding around the desert table. "lex?"

the group shuffles to let a young, silver haired young man forward. lex bows gracefully, laugh lines around his eyes crinkling. "yes, my lady?"

  "do you know what happened here?"

lex nods. "the monthly salary was being distributed, your majesty, and xerre - being a present from the kingdom of masur - had some trouble believing his amount was the same as a former obelian slave's. verhan stepped in to argue that your majesty was the one to decide this, and they began fighting."

  "shall i prepare for his voyage back to masur, majesty?" felix asks, as the rest of the concubines roll their eyes at his antics.

diana studies the masurian concubine, beckoning him closer. "it is common knowledge i do not generally accept gifted concubines from territories out of my own."

she watches his adam's apple rise and fall, tracing a nail over the well defined jawline. xerre shivers.

  "however, your king is new to his throne, and his queen one of my dearest friends. do you realise how our alliance will look were i to send you back?"

he nods cautiously.

  "i do not wish to withdraw support from someone i consider a brother, xerre. especially when he is engaged in armed conflict on two fronts."

  "i- i am prepared for any punishment your majesty deems appropriate."

diana sighs softly. "i would send you to work for me in the capitol, but the rules state every concubine entering must reside here for a certain amount of time. until then, bear with it. this palace, and a life of luxury, is only meant for my favorites. clear?"

  "yes, your majesty."

  "my apologies, ma'am," felix says once the crowd disperses, his head hanging. "i should've prepared for your arrival with more care."

she waves off the apology, heading to the guest hall to take a look at the new obelian  concubines.

  "vera leaves for her son's wedding for a week and we've already had an incident. honestly, felix."

  "...who's vera?"

diana pauses at the unfamiliar voice. her gaze falls on the figure sitting on the window seat, entirely immersed in the book in his hands. she blinks, stunned, watching the colourful window's filtered light paint the brilliant blonde of his hair.

felix is the first to address him, scoffing, "i believe your majesty's beauty has enchanted one of the gods - who else would dare address the empress of our nation so casually?"

diana chuckles, watching as the man stands, intrigued. she stays silent, breath hitched, as he towers over her, studying her with a curiosity that rivals hers from a moment ago. and only when he finally lowers himself to a knee does his hair part, and diana flushes at the red tinting his ears.

  "greetings to her imperial majesty, may the gods grant the protector of the siodonnan people a life long and blessed."

she offers him her hand. "rise. and tell me your name."

a beat of silence passes as he stares at her outstretched hand before hesitantly accepting. "claude, your majesty."

  "claude," diana tries, finding it rolls of her tongue deliciously.

he raises an eyebrow as she regards him. "your majesty...?"

diana smiles, her hand moving to touch the various jewellery adorning his fingers. gently, she slides off the gold ring off of his ring finger. "you must have a good reason to be donning an unauthorized magical item in my palace."

he doesn't answer, head lowered.

her hand lets go of his, raising to grip the blonde's jaw. diana tilts up his face, meeting his gaze. the dull grey eyes from before have vanished, replaced by glittering blues.

she inhales sharply. "you're...the obelian pr...the second prince of obelia."

he nods.

diana turns, more puzzled than angry. "why is he in my harem?"

  "... didn't your majesty wish for it?" felix tilts his head in confusion.

  "what? no?"

the knight frowns. "but i was so sure...your majesty said you didn't have an heir because you wanted a concubine as beautiful as me...when we took over the imperial palace, as the army swore their allegiance...your majesty said the prince was the prettiest you’ve ever seen?"

  "i- felix, i was kidding!"

  "...oh."

she turns to the prince then, "and you! you're a prince! how come you just went along with this??"

  "well...it was the most peaceful part of the palace..."

diana gapes at the two men, before finally sighing in defeat. "you're telling me i was scouring the lands for you, while you were right...?" she raises a hand to massage her temple, "...gods grant me patience."

felix cautiously steps forward, "your majesty...i understand this is shocking, but... tonight's escort..."

she glances up at the obelian prince. "allow them all to retire. i've found the perfect escort."

a/n: hmmm this was a bit empty claudiana wise, wasn't it? their development is coming though, i had to give empress!diana an intro :) also !! the situation may seem a bit confusing rn, but next chapter will clear things up! or you can just ask me for clarification <3

💕 felix is dying to find a concubine diana likes bc he really really really wants to be an uncle

💕 in siodonna, emperors/empresses are referred to by their first(diana) + middle name(celeste) and not a last name bc they technically can't belong to a house, they belong to the empire. but the middle name is important bc you have to ask for it (from someone you love and respect usually), you're never just born with one (so you could ask a parent / friend / mentor yada yada and they give you a name they believe fits best)