#I think this is gonna go on the sideblog actually

[hootsifer-darling]

Gonna get personal for a sec, I've been in a car for 7< hours and the mind does wander. I'm just thinking about how, for the one summer I stayed with him after turning 18, my dad was pathologically incapable of just letting me exist and do my own thing. Every decision I made was questioned and commentated on, down to going outside for my nightly before bed walk. "Really, are you sure you need to do that? Why? oookayy I guess." I was put through the wringer just asking for the house security codes so alarms wouldn't start screaming if I so much as walked down the stairs (there were door alarms and movement sensors on the first floor, and later cameras were installed literally everywhere, it was insane. Not outside btw, inside, explicity for monitoring US). I had to ask for those codes btw, they weren't offered up as being part of the household; he wanted us caged and monitored, and anything I ever asked for was treated as some huge imposition.

Then there was the time I sprained my ankle at an open gym and wanted to call out of work and he treated that like the most insane propostion ever. 'No you can't call out of work?? Your ankle is fine don't be ridiculous.' And after I called out boy did he lay on the passive aggression. 'You really shouldn't have done that, your bosses will be so let down, etc.' Anyway I limped up and down the stairs to get all my food for several days. Every day he was like 'ankle still bother you huh,' so incredulous like I was faking it out of laziness.

Oh and then there was the whole thing where I was forced to conform to their 5/6 am wakeup schedule, which I fucking did for over a month. I would zombie walk downstairs, have some cereal, and then camp on the couch and watch TV with headphones on my computer, present and unobtrusive. I found a way to do something my body and brain was wired not to and even found some joy in the routine. But even that wasn't enough, eventually the demands started that I lose the TV and "participate" with the family, despite the fact that they were basically all doing the same thing. God forbid I did something he wanted on my own terms.

So anyway that was around the halfway point of the summer and although I couldn't put my finger on what it was I started to notice I was being forced to do an awful lot of stuff I didn't want to and was actively impeding my enjoyment of day to day life. So I started sleeping in, letting my body do its thing. I was forcibly awakened a few times by various means, the most sinister of which was turning "wake Adam up" into a game for the 7 and 3 year olds for about a week before he finally accepted defeat on that particular battle. Maybe I started locking my door idk.

Anyway things got progressively worse over the next month as I started planting my feet on various things I felt didn't make sense, and as it turns out questioning a narcassist's authority is a fast-track to getting kicked out for being disrespectful lol. Not gonna go into that whole day but after that I finally decided that being there made me feel bad and I should probably leave. I didn't even start unpacking the events of that summer for two years. I had to quit the job I'd been at for about 3 months which was a very embarassing and stressful thing to do for the first job I'd ever had, but I said my "home situation wasn't working" and the managers all understood and one even told me very earnestly "go be happy Adam" which remains one of the most profoundly kind things anyone has ever said to me.

My dad's favorite thing to say ever since moving to Florida was always "well you can always come live with us" (a fucked up thing to say to the pre teens you abandoned), but when I finally gave it a try boy did he make sure it was so miserable that it only lasted 4 months and none of us ever tried it again.

But to end this on a more positive note I'm really proud of myself for deciding to leave even though in the moment I wasn't sure why I was so unhappy, I just knew that I was and that I could leave, so I did, and I think that was pretty huge of me. And also pretty metal to pin my resignation on him: "sorry I have to quit, I tried living with my dad and it's just not working." Considering he made me cry on the way to my interview for said job I think it was only fair.

[cemeterything]

okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.

[erthlyheavn]

ONE MORE MONTH TIL THE MASQUERADE BALL EVENT

[ficsforeren]

I think posting on a sideblog would be better?? Since you seem to have moved on from this fandom, I don't think it would be a problem to manage another blog. You can archive this one and just focus on the new one, you know? My two cents

Hmm, true. I do want to move on completely from this fandom. Yeah, you know what anon, maybe I should make a new sideblog. Let me think of a name. hmmmmm hmmmmm hmmmm

[cryolyst]

i just watched panther chan's performance of sahā w jeremy and my god i love her vocals. like jeremy isn't a bad singer or anything and obviously it's her song so ofc she's got an amazing grasp on it but. her power. her range. the contrast in their voices. she sounds so good aughhh

[thingswhatareawesome]

so i will say that the way tumblr redid the ui to make checking your different blogs (under account) is way, way easier for me now. so i'm actually checking my activity feed pretty consistently, something i didn't used to do.

which means that if someone comments something shitty on a thing they reblog from me, i'm now gonna see it and know to block them.

[imgonnabethatone]

Learning how to use editing software by making a stream clip compilation is going amazingly. On the flipside, by the end of the VOD I will probably both go insane (because nothing works quite like I want it to) and learn every single one of Philza Minecraft's mannerisms, both in and outside of the game.

[the-acid-pear]

Damon has died. Badly.

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Showed Me (How I Fell In Love With You)

masterlist

summary: dean helps you up your flirting game, but there’s really only one set of eyes you want on you.

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 2.7k

warnings: language, implied sex/nudity, strands of hair falls on reader’s face

author’s note: you probably already know this but sideblogs (like this one) can now answer comments!! super excited about this update and fingers crossed the next one is for sending asks lol 🤞💞

music: showed me (how i fell in love with you) by madison beer — i was listening to this song and kept imagining dean, idk

Dean always had incredible luck with women. He could go into a bar crowded with guys and walk out with the only woman—the bartender who’d been dodging men all night.

You, on the other hand, could go into that same bar and end up going back to the motel alone. It bothered you; what in the hell were you doing wrong?

So, you did the unthinkable—you asked Dean to help you get better at flirting.

That’s how you ended up here at the bar with Dean; he was showing you how to play pool. You had protested the idea of him “teaching you” something you already knew, but he claimed it was important.

“You’re standing wrong,” he told you when you were about to break.

“Uh, no I’m not?”

“If you’re trying to win the game, you’re doing great. If you’re trying to get your opponent to fuck you, you’re failing miserably.”

“Thanks,” you grumbled.

“Hey, you were the one who asked me for help!” He shrugged. “If you want to back out now-”

“No, I don’t want to back out,” you sighed. “I’m fucking desperate at this point.”

“So, are you gonna do what I say, then?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “How am I supposed to stand?”

He walked up behind you and put his hands on your hips.

“Stick your butt out a little,” he instructed and you did as he asked. “Alright, now when you bend over,” he moved his hands up and forward, resting them on your lower chest, “you’ll want to point your breasts in the direction of the person you want to attract.”

“What if he’s standing behind me?” you asked.

“Then his eyes are gonna be glued to your ass,” he replied, not getting the message. “If he’s standing behind you then focus more on the actual game, and less on where you’re pointing your boobs. Trust me, though, if he’s standing in front of you, he’s gonna be trying to see down your shirt, now…” he walked back around to the other side of the table. “Bend over, and before you hit the ball, make eye contact with him.”

“Okay…” You bent down and lined up your shot before looking up and into Dean’s eyes.

“Perfect! If you look at him kinda like through your eyelashes, there’s exactly one thing that’s suddenly stuck front and center in his mind.”

“And this works on…all guys?” you asked, still looking at him through your lashes.

“If he was standing where I am and didn’t want to fuck you, he’s either related to you or just not into chicks.”

“Good to know,” you mumbled, mostly to yourself. You were about to start the game but a few strands of hair fell on your face.

“Don’t move,” Dean said before he hurried back to where he had been before and tucked the hair behind your ear for you. “Now, since he’s already thinking about that one thing, is that something you want him to think about even more?”

“Um, yeah,” you said quietly.

“Alright, pout your lips,” he instructed. He moved his hand down from your ear and tugged your lip out a bit. “Perfect, that’s gonna draw his attention to your lips.”

“So, now I start actually playing the game?” you asked, not sure if he had any more pointers for you.

“If you want. Or we can go over to the bar where there are three different guys that have been eyeing you the past ten minutes.”

“Really?” you stood up straight, whipping your head around. You saw the guys he was talking about and they all quickly looked down at the drinks in front of them. “Let’s go to the bar, then.”

“So, now that you know all those guys are interested,” Dean said as you both took your seats at the bar, several stools away from the other people already there, “you need to pick one.”

“Isn’t that the easy part?” you laughed a little.

“Oh no, most guys are monsters.” Dean shook his head, motioning the bartender over with his hand. “What’re you drinking?” he asked, looking at you.

“Just a beer’s fine,” you said, a little confused. Usually when you, Sam, and Dean went out drinking you each ordered your own drinks. Dean took initiative and ordered two beers. “And I know before taking someone back to my room I have to do the usual tests; holy water, iron, and silver.”

“Not those kinda monsters, sweetheart,” Dean said. “The guy on the far right has a little motor home keychain attached to his keys. Given the fact there’s a dilapidated RV parked outside that looks like a serial killer’s lair, I’d say he’s a creep.”

“Well, what about the guy in the middle?” you asked.

“I heard him talking with someone on the phone in the bathroom earlier about the fact his ex-girlfriend doesn’t know she got the clap from him.”

“Dear lord,” you groaned, making a disgusted face. “What’s wrong with the guy on the left?”

“Well, uh…” Dean started, looking at the man you were talking about and trying to find something wrong with him. “Nothing. If he comes over here, I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

“Shouldn’t I go and talk to him?” you asked.

“Oh no! No, no, no! Bar like this, pretty girl like you; he’ll think you’re a hooker.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, unless you wanna make a couple hundred bucks tonight?” he teased, earning a smack to his upper arm. “I’ll take that as a no,” he laughed.

“I’d make at least four-hundred,” you scoffed.

“Look, you’re cute and sweet and guys tend to turn their heads when you walk by them. Now, for your next lesson, take a look around the bar and tell me how many women you see.”

You looked around, counting in your head. “Five, including me and the bartender,” you said.

“And how many guys?”

“I’d say like twenty at least?” you estimated.

“Exactly,” he said. “See, at least half of those guys have their eyes on you. When we were playing pool earlier I guarantee you they’d have done anything to be where I was.”

“So…what’s your point?”

“You’re way above any of these guys’ leagues.” He shrugged. “Which is okay, but you need to know that you’re too good for them, just a fact. They’re spending their Wednesday night in a bar looking for a hookup, you came here to get a drink with your friend. So, like I said, you are in fact way out of their leagues.”

“You really think so?”

“Please tell me you’re joking,” he laughed a little then looked at you and realized you were serious. “Oh dear god, yes! Not only are you fucking gorgeous, you’re smart, funny and a total badass! I mean you killed two vampires this morning!”

“Thanks, Dean.” You smiled.

“Of course,” he replied. “Now, before we head back to the motel is there anything else? You know how to kiss someone, right?”

“Ha, ha!” You smiled sarcastically. “I know how to kiss, Dean. But, I actually do have a question.”

“Shoot!”

“What about…the friend zone?”

“You wanna know how to friend zone a guy?” He furrowed his brows.

“No, how do I get out of the friend zone?”

“Oh.” He nodded. “That’s, um, I’m actually not sure. And I didn’t think you had friends?”

“Again, very funny Dean,” you laughed somewhat sarcastically. “What if I’m good friends with a guy and I really like him, but I’m scared to tell him because I don’t want to lose the friendship?”

“Look, Sam loves you but he doesn’t see you…that way,” he said.

“It’s not Sam, dumbass,” you said. “I have plenty of friends! And there’s this one friend, who’s a guy that I really like. I don’t think he feels the same way, but it’s driving me absolutely crazy that I can’t just tell him.”

“I, uh, I don’t know. I mean, I always think the guy has more to lose if that situation goes south, cause he’ll always be attracted to the girl but she might…get bored with him.”

“But what if the guy doesn’t like me back? What if I tell him and he says ‘gross, you’re like a sister to me’?”

“If he does see you as a sister, he’s not gonna say ‘gross’ when you tell him how you feel?”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I know Sam and he’d be lucky to have a girl like you.”

“It’s not Sam, you moron!” you exclaimed, a little louder than intended.

“…Garth?”

“What if the guy I really like is also really dumb?” you asked.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say Garth is dumb…”

“Oh my god,” you groaned. “Yeah, never mind.” You put your face in your hands for a moment before starting to drink the beer Dean had ordered for you. He watched you with furrowed brows and it felt like an eternity (really it was about sixty seconds) before he suddenly broke the silence.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed. “Is it…me?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, looking over at him. “I didn’t plan on letting that slip tonight, I swear.”

“But, it is me? You like me?” Dean asked, you nodded. “Oh my fucking god!”

You couldn’t tell if he was happy and you were beginning to really worry.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. You turned on your chair to leave but he gripped your upper arm and kept you in place.

“No, don’t—fuck! I feel like I just won the fucking lottery and I just need a second to catch up.”

“Wait, you’re happy? You…You like me too?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, “I may be stupid but I’m not an idiot.”

“Well…” you teased.

He rolled his eyes, still smiling; “Just let me kiss you, already,” Dean muttered. He put his hands on your cheeks, stood up off his chair, leaned toward you, and kissed you deeply. His hands moved to your shoulders then down to your lower back as you put your hands on his cheeks.

“Wait,” you mumbled, pulling back slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, you’re incredible! I’m just now realizing how many creepy guys are staring at me.”

“Told ya,” he said, taking a look around the bar.

“Could we, maybe…head to your motel room?” you asked somewhat nervously.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Hundred percent.” You nodded vigorously, looking at his lips then up and into his bright green eyes. “Unless…you don’t want to?”

“Oh I definitely want to, I’ve wanted to since Sam and I picked you up after he left Stanford,” he said.

“And you didn’t say anything? Dean, it’s been like ten years?” You furrowed your brows then noticed he actually seemed a little embarrassed. “For the record, I’ve wanted to kiss you for about twelve.” His eyes widened.

“What? Wow, I guess we’re both a little stupid,” he laughed a little before leaning in for another kiss.

“Excuse me, Winchester?” You quirked a brow, looking at him.

“I mean, you’re smart, so smart,” he rambled a little. “And sexy, so fucking sexy.” He kissed you and you kissed him back, smiling against his mouth. “Let’s get the hell outta here, sweetheart.”

“Mmh, just another minute,” you mumbled, not wanting to stop kissing him.

He pulled away after a moment, both of you smiling.

“My god you’re beautiful.” He smiled, putting a hand on your cheek.

You hopped off the stool but stayed looking into his eyes; “You’re so fuckin’ hot, Dean Winchester,” you mumbled and kissed him again, pulling him down by the collar of his jacket.

He pulled out his wallet and was about to pay for both drinks but you stopped him.

“What’s wrong?”

“If you pay for my drink then this would count as our first date,” you said.

“Huh, I didn’t think of it like that,” he replied. “Alright, we each pay for our own drinks.”

“Exactly.” You nodded and took out your own wallet, each of you leaving a ten on the counter. “Now, shall we go to your motel room?”

“I’m sharing a room with Sammy,” he said.

“My motel room it is.” You pulled him down again and kissed him.

“Lead the way.”

**

You woke up to the sound of Dean snoring lightly behind you and a smile formed on your lips as you recalled what had happened only a few hours ago. You felt Dean’s arm snake around your waist and he pulled you closer to him.

You assumed he was awake now and you turned to kiss him but he was actually still snoring. The thought that he wanted you closer to him even when he was sleeping made your smile deepen.

A wave of calmness washed over you, followed by an unnerving idea; how serious was Dean when he said he liked you?

Did he think this was a one-and-done situation? Were he and Sam just gonna drive off in that beautiful Impala and leave you to start hunting alone?

You hadn’t hunted alone since re-connecting with the Winchesters back in ‘05. Before that you’d been hunting alone or with Dean while Sam was in college. Before that you’d hunted with your dad, who occasionally worked with John.

You honestly didn’t really remember the first time you met Dean. You were both just kids and you blocked out a lot of your childhood due to the fact you’d been hunting your whole life. (It was actually a similar story to Dean’s—after a monster killed your mom, your dad became obsessed with hunting and seemed to forget he was a father with a four-year-old in the back seat of his pickup truck.)

What you did remember was the first time hunting alone with Dean. You were twenty-two and (finally) not hunting with your dad when you ran into Dean who was also hunting alone. He had recently had some kind of falling out with Sam, who had been at Stanford a couple years already. You remembered how Dean reacted to the fact you were hunting alone.

He was genuinely worried for your safety and insisted he hunt with you for a while. You took him up on the offer and spent a couple months together before parting ways but still staying in touch.

You were drawn back to the present when Dean let out a breath of air as he stirred awake.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, a smile on his full lips when he opened his eyes. He sat up on his elbow and tilted your chin up with his finger. “My god, how are you so beautiful?” You giggled a little before he bent down and kissed you.

He sat up further and slipped an arm under you, bringing you to the center of the bed. He caged you beneath him by putting his hands on either side of you as your hands went into his already ruffled hair. You brought him back down and kissed him again, his left hand moving again and trailing down your side, bringing your bare thigh up to graze his own.

You could tell where things were going so you stopped him, “Dean.”

“Y/n,” he mumbled back.

“Dean, wait,” you said quietly.

“What is it?” he asked, looking down at you.

“How, um, how serious is this?” you asked.

“What?” He furrowed his brows a little.

“Is this a one-night thing?”

“Oh,” he realized. “Um, it can be, if that’s what you want.”

“Is that…what you want?” you asked.

He looked into your eyes and slowly shook his head negatively, your smile returning to your flushed face.

“I was kinda thinking this would be at least a two-night thing,” he said, showing off his adorable smirk and making you roll your eyes a little. He bent down and kissed you. “Maybe a three-night thing.”

“A four-night thing?” you teased.

“I think you’re gonna be stuck with me for a lot longer than that, sweetheart,” he mumbled into your mouth.

“You really think?” you asked, smiling.

“Hate to break it to you, but I’m kinda in love with you.” He stopped kissing you, realizing what he said. “I, uh, I mean, not—fuck, I really am. I’m sorry.”

“Dean,” you interrupted his spiraling, “I’m kinda in love with you too.”

“Oh thank goodness,” he whispered and kissed you again.

[corrodedbisexual]

The ultimate shadow ban survivor guide

I've seen multiple people I follow, or their mutuals affected by shadow bans lately (makes me wonder if it's @staff's attempts to fight bots going totally haywire). As someone who survived a 2-month-long shadow ban on my main this winter, I thought I'd make a post.

First step of being shadow banned: calm down and take a breath. A shadow ban is just a stupid glitch in tumblr's anti-spam system. You're not losing your blog. You're gonna need a whole lot of patience, and deal with inconveniences, but it's fixable.

Read the incredibly useful post All About Shadowban by @that-damn-girl. It outlines the symptoms quite well. The only thing I'd point out is "your original posts won’t be visible to your followers either" - afaik that doesn't happen. Everything you post and reblog will still be visible to your followers, and also they can interact with your posts - like them, reblog them, reply to them.

Just like the post says, contact support. I recommend using a different email than what your banned blog is registered to; not because your ticket won't go through (mine actually did, as I found out when they finally replied), but because you might not receive an email confirmation for your ticket (it's somehow tied to the anti-spam thing, I think), and you're going to worry and try to send more tickets, like I did.

Now wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. They are SLOW. I've seen some miraculous 1-day unbans in the #shadow ban tag, but most people, like me, wait around a month for support to reply. Those are the same guys going through thousands of bot reports every day in addition to user tickets.

If you're going to wait, might as well keep blogging. Now if this is your sideblog that's shadow banned, consider yourself lucky. Make a new temporary sideblog, use it to post your original stuff so it goes into tags (mind that it might take a few days for a new blog to start showing up in tags). Reblog everything to your shadow banned blog so you still have all content in one place and your followers see it. If it's your main that's banned, you can still do that, but there's the extra pain of not being able to reply to posts or send non-anon Asks, since that is only done from main. Might need to register a separate account for that.

Some more fun facts under readmore.

Fun fact #1

Trying to send support follow-up emails in the request confirmation email isn't going to do anything to speed up the process. But I did tweet at them using this tumblr support summoning picture by @cornmayor and offered a raccoon blood sacrifice to resolve my issue when it was like a month with no response. This is what they replied.

3 hours later I got an email that my shadowban was lifted. I honestly don't know if it was a coincidence, but I mean, this is tumblr staff. Maybe they do accept blood sacrifices.

Fun fact #2

If you're wondering why my shadow ban lasted 2 months if I got a support reply after 1 month, well. It's hard to say exactly how their ban/unban system works bc support replies exclusively with pre-written template sentences, but basically they fucked up. The first time they told me my blog has been restored, I gained pretty much all functions back, except that my posts were still not appearing in tags. Which means probably that being hidden from tags is some kind of different flag on your blog that they forgot to remove. So I had to send a follow-up ticket and wait another month.

My advice is, when they tell you it's fixed, don't take that at face value, go and check all the functions you'd lost (replies, messaging, asks, tagging, appearing in notes, getting mentioned by others).

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

Look out its a Linkblr Dashboard Simulator!

3 notes

🪶 redwingskies Follow

So who was gonna tell me the Surface is Real, huh? Who.

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

Where are you from?? What....what are you??? ....God?

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Nah turns out she's my best friend though.

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Hey btw, If I kill a god does that make me one? Is there like. Rules for this? Asking for a friend. (Like seriously. I don't care. He does.)

1,680 notes

🚋 train-life Follow

Today's Fact: Did you know Trains are the reason New Hyrule has Standardized Time Zones? As citizens needed to know when to get to a train station, the council lobbied for standardized time that could be applied precisely for travel by train! The entire modern perception of time is because of the Train!

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Thanks, I hate it. Lets go back to living by the sun rise and set.

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

??? We've always had standard time zones??? What are you talking about. Trains didn't invent that.

🚋 train-life Follow

...they literally did. I re-researched this to double check. What are YOU talking about?

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Time zones? Like. The era of Legend, the Golden era, bullfish like that?

🚋 train-life Follow

... you can swear you know? I'm 12 not a baby.

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

you're HOW OLD? I thought you were a Royal Engineer???

🚋 train-life Follow

12? It's in my bio?

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

I love you but get the hell off of this website why are you here

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Can we go back to the weirdo who thinks Time Zones are HISTORICAL PERIODS?

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Haha yea total weirdo, what, are they like 400 years old or something? Lol

🐴 goatman4life Follow

Actually I wanna get back to why a 12 year old has a job

1,203 notes

🐟 indigo-gos-official Follow

Hey anybody willing to lend me bail money? I'm short like 10 rupees and it's really annoying.

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Wait shit wrong account! Wrong account!!

🐴 goatman4life Follow

Why do you have access to a hyper-famous Zora Band's account??

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Their lead guitarist died in front of me and I am very nice. Now get me out of jail goatman.

23,045 notes

🌳 wildflowerwastaken Follow

.

#hi #i saw a cool bird today #the camera was left on selfie mode so it only got a picture of me squinting at it #the bird noticed the flash and it pecked me until I fell out of the tree #straight into a malice puddle #the bird was pretty tho #so I say my day went great!

2 notes

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Hey apparently I need to update people on my boundaries. So. Here is a list of what's okay:

Hugging

Kissing me

Kissing me directly on the lips

👀

Parasocial relationships where you praise me constantly <3

And this is NOT okay

Hunting me for my blood to revive the prince of darkness

Ignoring me

Thank you, that's really all, I'm kinda sad that this has to be said but clarity is wisdom and all.

👑 princess-of-hyrule Follow

Link. This is not what I told you to post.

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Well EXUSe ME if my boundaries look different than yours!!

25,690 notes

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

Hey pulled the Four Sword again so we need help figuring out who gets to run the blog lol.

Thanks everybody

⏳️ forestchild Follow

Lol this loser doesn't know how to make sideblogs

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

The poll says "Who gets to be Link on MAIN" though, so maybe they do? They just wanna have one person in charge of the first blog?

⏳️ forestchild Follow

The path to truth is unity. Many voices can be heard within one "main".

-The Diety

⏳️ forestchild Follow

...ignore him, I've made him a sideblog and he refuses to use it.

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

Hey wait no let him come back, he's the only smart person I've ever heard

-Green (?)

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

I am going to kill you.

#we have all agreed to not utilize this blog until the poll is complete #so shut up green

10 notes

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Since this is currently my most active blog with some followers, just wanted to say a few things:

It's so incredibly depressing to see tumblr sellout to the whole AI shit and try to pacify users by the opt-out toggle option when it mostly likely won't do jack shit. Tumblr has been doing shitty things for awhile now, but out of all old social media it was a last shabby bastion for various weirdos, including a fandom weirdo like me.

I'm just an old silly hobbyist artist who badly draws fanart of old cartoons, but even the idea that my stuff will help train AI to be better to stealing desirable art of actual artists, whose work is their livelyhood is fucking maddening. Opting out won't help (Sources say data is already available to companies). Deleting stuff won't help (tumblr have access to deleted blogs and reblogs put your stuff in reach too). Using Nightshade and Glaze is not a viable option for me (my old laptop's specks is not up to support those programs, and I'm too afraid to try and accidently fry it and than all my shit would be lost) and even those doesn't solve the problems of all of my old stuff across like 7 sideblogs+my old tumblr account's 2 blogs.

Of course, maybe all hope is not lost for tumblr. There may be solutions and decisions later down the line. But for now I probably won't be posting any new stuff for a bit while I decide if I want to stay on tumblr and be complicit in feeding the insidious and insatiable AI machines.

And as alternatives, I created new account for bluesky, and consider pillowfort and cohost to share my random silly art. Even dusted out my old tapas and newgrounds accounts, and consider webtoons and comicfury to post and archive my few comics. Hopefully I will share links in my pinned post when I set whatever I decide up, even if all of it is so exhausting and depressing.

And hey, if you read this so far - just a reminder:

Opt out on that 'share with third parties' toggle like explained here! - it may do jack shit, but its better than nothing.

Write a polite disagreeing feedback to staff like suggested on this post. - remember not all staff had a hand in this, so no need to be rude, but make sure to have your voice be heard.

Use Nightshade and Glaze to poison your art - if you are an artist and are able to do it unlike me. It may not be sure proof way to stop/kill AI, but it sure shows that artists will fight back.

Use ArtShield - an online lowtech alternative to Nightshade & Glaze, puts a stamp/watermark on your art, invisible to humans but supposedly makes AI think its unsuitable to train on. (edit)

And please, take a moment for yourself. Because it fucking sucks.

So, I'm gonna go take a step back and burrow into some hole and cry for all of those who AI fucks over. I won't be gone forever, but for now I'm too frustrated and dissapointed to do anything.

and ALSO just to be fucking clear

🇺🇦 I STAND WITH UKRAINE 🇺🇦

🇵🇸 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸

🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️

🚫 AI CREATIONS ARE NOT ART🚫

fuck you shitty side tumblr I wish you all a fucking hammer car explosion

[the-iceni-bitch]

Every Man’s Got His Patience, and Here’s Where Mine Ends

Pairing: mob boss!Lloyd Hansen x femme!reader (le grand homme and coquinette, Poison Paradise AU)

Words: ~3k

Summary: Lloyd is going to need to claim you, or he’s going to end up killing some people.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (f receiving oral sex, pussy spanking, unprotected vaginal sex, bicep choking, biting, scratching, possessive partner, multiple orgasms, degradation combined with praise kink, overstimulation) pet names, lots of French, murder, unhinged Lloyd, abuse of subordinates, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: Told ya! Cannot stop with these two. I’m j just gonna keep riding the Lloyd obsession train until that we’ll is bone dry.

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Lloyd’s snarl was unhinged when he turned to Brutus after yanking another one of the asshole’s teeth out, running his fingers through his hair and shoving it out of his eyes as he bared his teeth menacingly.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right.” He shoved a dirty rag in the poor bastard’s mouth when he started pleading with him, cocking his head at his underling as he took a step closer to him. “Because it’s been three fucking days, and if you just told me you still have nothing, I might start to get pissed off.”

“Well, the number she gave us was a fake…” Brutus cut himself off at the look Lloyd gave him, taking a step back and swallowing thickly.

“No shit, it’s a fake number! You think that pretty little cunt stole from me and was going to give me her actual contact information?” Lloyd’s laugh was mirthless when he pulled out his gun and shot the whimpering sack of shit that was tied to the chair in the head, sighing when he looked back at his handiwork before tossing his weapon aside. “Now, look what you made me do. Did your mother shake you too hard when you were a baby? Sometimes I wonder about you…” He slapped the idiot when he mumbled petulantly at him, sucking in air through his teeth then running a hand over his face in frustration. “Cleveland, call our contact at the Préfecture de Police and give him a description and her alias and see if one of you morons can actually do something useful for once. And you…” he rounded on Brutus again and sneered when he flinched. “Get rid of this. If I don’t have an address in twenty four hours, someone’s going to lose an appendage! I am very quickly running out of what little patience I have!”

You hummed softly to yourself as you took another bite of the warm croissant on your plate, your eyes scanning the newspaper you were holding as you toyed with your new ring absentmindedly. Apparently some dirty businessman had disappeared suddenly without a trace and his family was selling off his considerable collection of antiquities. If you were remembering the asshole correctly, he had a very rare Seurat and collection of ornate stilettos that you had been thinking about since you’d attended a soirée at his estate last year. You were going to have to make a stop at this sale and lift some of those pieces to fill some empty space in your apartment. Didn’t he have a mistress too? Maybe you’d visit to pay your respects and see what kind of jewelry he had spoiled her with.

Once you had finished your pastry and coffee you stood up to make your way back to your apartment, strolling slowly and enjoying the sunshine on your skin as you kept twirling the ring and smiling at the way the small ruby caught the light. You wondered how angry the man had been once he realized what you’d taken from him, he seemed dangerous and like the type who didn’t appreciate when things didn’t go his way. But it was just a small ring and some cash, as pissed as he might have been, he had probably made his way back to the states by now to nurse his wounded ego. Your little habit of snatching up shiny treasures might annoy your marks, but it’s not like you ever took anything truly worth getting upset about.

As soon as you were inside your apartment you let out a little sigh, slowly making your way back to your bedroom. Walking around the city had made you feel pleasantly tired, and you suddenly had the desire to take a nap in a sunbeam like a sweet little kitten. You stretched your whole body when you stepped into your room, looking forward to sinking into your plush mattress in nothing but the lacy pink lingerie set you were wearing under your dress and enjoying a light snooze.

“Well, hi there, sunshine.”

You yelped and practically jumped out of your skin when he spoke, panic flooding your system when you whipped around to find Lloyd sitting in the armchair at the foot of your bed and grinning wickedly at you as he nonchalantly flipped his knife through his fingers. He rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath when you turned on your heel and sprinted away from him, charging out of his seat and chasing after you until he could wrap an arm around your waist and slap a massive palm over your mouth when you tried to scream.

“Ah, no no, we’re not playing that game, ma nénette.” He dragged you back into the bedroom while you flailed wildly, chuckling into your hair then setting you on your feet and turning you around so he could look you in the eyes. “I just want to talk, so calm the fuck down, or I’ll knock you out.” He hissed when you slapped him across the face, snarling and grabbing you by the throat as he gave you a warning shake. “I’ll give you that one, because I know I surprised you, but the next one will get you over my knee so fast you won’t even know what happened. Behave.”

“How did you find me? What are you doing here?” You licked your lips nervously as you gazed up at him, your chest heaving with deep breaths as you tried to will yourself to calm down. “It was just a ring…”

“I know a lot of people, don’t worry yourself about that, coquine.” He tweaked the tip of your nose and beamed at the terrified tears that were falling from your eyes, leaning forward to kiss them from your cheeks and purring when you whimpered. “And it was my ring, my tricky little minx. You’ll find that I am very possessive.”

“I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what he wanted from you, his lips still trailing over your face as his thumb stroked your carotid artery and you found yourself melting into him. “I just liked the ruby:”

“Ah, ma petite pie, do you just love shiny things?” He rested his forehead against yours and bit his lip when you nodded and let out a pathetic little hiccup, the hand that wasn’t at your throat squeezing your waist before sliding down the curve of your hip. “Of course you do. You really pulled one over on me, I thought you were so sweet and innocent and such a good girl, but you’re not, are you? You’re a naughty little thing.”

“No, I can… I can be good.” Was he going to kill you or what? You couldn’t get a read on him.

“Could you, now?” Lloyd pressed his lips to your cheek and took a step back, grabbing your wrist and plucking his ring off your finger before placing it back on his pinky where it belonged. “If someone gave you all the pretty, sparkly things you desire, could you be a sweet little spoiled thing who’d do anything she was told?”

“What?” You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips when he squeezed your throat before trailing his hand down to softly cup your breast.

“I like you, ma petite pute. More than I should for someone who so brazenly stole from me.” His fingers slid under the soft lace of your bra cup, a low growl rumbling through his chest when he felt the jewels bar that was running through your nipple. “Fuck, I really like you. Your lack of impulse control is incredibly endearing, you’re beautiful, and something makes me want to put that little smile you were wearing before you saw me on your face all the time. Let me spoil you, chérie.”

“I don’t… you want to spoil me?” This had taken an unexpected turn, you weren’t totally sure how you felt about it.

“I do. I want to dress you up in all the pretty things and give you jewelry and ruin you.” He could tell you were still on the fence, so he smashed his lips to yours and waited until he felt you melt into him before pulling back. “Let me make you mine.”

He stepped back and clicked his teeth appreciatively at the whine you let out at the loss of him, grabbing a velvet box from the pocket of his jacket and opening it to reveal a ring with a massive ruby that matched the one in his signet. You reached for it immediately, pouting at him when he slapped your hand before cradling it gently so he could place the ring on your finger himself.

“Yours?” The idea was growing on you fast, that ring softening you up quick and making you think maybe he could be someone who actually understood you. “I’ve been told I can be a handful.”

“Oh, you’re such a little fucking troublemaker, aren’t you?” Lloyd purred as he prowled closer to you, winding a hand around your throat and yanking you towards him while you cooed at the ring again. “Lucky I think you’re so cute, usually don’t put up with thieves.”

“I’m not a thief.” You hummed at the way the ruby glimmered when it caught the light. “I just like pretty things.”

“Mm, you deserve them, chére.” Lloyd leaned closer to nip at your ear and groaned as he inhaled your perfume. “And if you’re mine I’ll give you all you could want and more, just say the word.”

“I’ll be yours, fuck.” You whined when he sucked on your neck, melting into his touch as he dragged his tongue over your throat. “Just yours, what will you give me?”

“Everything, now get on the fucking bed.” Lloyd grinned when he threw you on the bed and you yelped, crawling between your legs and yanking your skirt up around your hips so he could slap the insides of your thighs until you spread them wide for him, ripping your panties off and groaning at the sight of your glistening cunt as he laid in front of you. “Gonna show you exactly what you get when you belong to me, ma pie.”

The sound you let out when he buried his face in your pussy sealed your fate, that soft lilting moan letting him know there was no way he was ever letting you go. One little taste and he was addicted, groaning as he breathed in your scent before he dragged his tongue from your asshole to your clit and back over and over until he was sure he’d tasted every inch of you.

Lloyd made sure your eyes were on him before he spat lewdly on your cunt, cooing when you let out a desperate whine before he pressed a sloppy, open mouthed kiss to your slit then thrust his tongue inside you. He growled when he felt you clench around him, shaking his head to push himself as deep as possible while he wrapped his arms around your thighs and dragged them over his shoulder as he kept fucking you with his mouth. The neatly trimmed hairs of his mustache were rubbing right against your swollen clit and making your throb against his lips, a soft series of mewls escaping from your throat while you arched your body into his face and rolled your hips needily.

You struggled to keep your eyes on his when he groaned into your cunt again, your slick making a mess of his face as his tongue curled inside you and stroked your soft walls until he felt you starting to flutter for him. He waited until he heard your breath hitch then dragged his tongue out of you at a torturous pace, making sure he slowed down even further when he reached your clit until he felt it pulsing for him then wrapping his lips around your swollen bud and sucking hard.

That was it, you were lost. Every muscle in your body sang as your eyes rolled back in your skull, some high, thin sound that was foreign to your ears leaving your lips while your pussy gushed all over his face until he was soaked. Lloyd swallowed as much as he could with an appreciative moan before detaching from you, smacking the swollen mess between your legs and chuckling darkly when your only answer was a pathetic whimper before he started peeling off his clothes almost teasingly slow.

“Normally at this point I’d fuck you with my hand for about an hour until could barely remember how to breathe, but… oh Jesus Christ.” He purred once he finally got his clothes off and proceeded to remove your dress, the sight of you panting and naked and wanton for him just about the most fucking beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his damn life. “But after tasting you, and hearing all those sweet little sounds your making, and knowing you’re all fucking mine, shit, I’m aching, I don’t ever think I’ve been this fucking hard.”

“Then why don’t you fuck me, Lloyd?” You licked your lips and gave him a sloppy grin, sliding your hands over his torso and squeezing his hips with your thighs while you rolled your body underneath him.

“Oh ho, god you’re sassy.” He gave you a soft laugh before curling over you and running his tongue over the piercing in your nipple. “I’m gonna fuck that right out of you, coquinette.”

“We’ll see… fuck!” You screamed when he sank his teeth into your tit and slammed his cock into you, your fingernails into his back and breathing raggedly when he started driving his hips against yours violently.

“What was that, ma jolie chatte?” He cooed as his bit and sucked his way up your chest, grinning and rubbing his nose against yours when you whined and clutched at his shoulders as he reached above you to grab the headboard and give himself more leverage while he nipped at your bottom lip. “Aww, already? I thought you weren’t gonna be this easy, chérie, I’m almost disappointed.”

You couldn’t answer him, sobbing when he grabbed your knee with his free hand and pressed it against your chest so he could hit you even deeper. The first time the tip of his cock nudged against your cervix you almost passed out, then he kept doing it over and over and over again and grinding into your clit and all you could do was sink into the mattress with a defeated groan.

Lloyd sucked your bottom lip between his with a low hum when your pussy flexed around him as he gave a dirty grind of his hips, keeping his cock deeply seated in you while he rolled your swollen clit against his pelvis. It should have made you angry how easy your body was bending to his will, but then ran his hand down the curve of your leg so he could prop your ankle on his shoulder and sink his teeth into the curve of your calf and you lost it. He growled out a curse against your skin when your cunt clamped down on him, the sight of your body spasming under him while you screamed in your pleasure making him feral.

“Oh god, this fucking cunt, how are you so damn tight?” He caressed your ankle almost reverently even as his hips started punching into you again, kissing the mark his teeth had made on your leg before pulling out and flipping you onto your stomach with no warning then spearing back into you with a bitten off snarl. “Shit, like you were made for me, chaton. I’m gonna ruin you and this perfect little snatch for anyone else, you’re mine. Say it.”

“‘M… ah!” You cried out when he yanked you back by your hair and landed a solid smack across your ass, digging your fingers into the pillows and arching your back as his balls slapped against your clit every time his hips met your ass. “‘M yours Lloyd, just yours, it’s your pussy. Oh shit, fucking take me.”

“Oh, good fucking girl.” Lloyd moaned when he felt you come again, your sweet little pussy gushing beautiful cream all over his length and making it swing for him to slam into you at an even wilder pace, curling over you and winding his bicep across your throat as he purred into your hair. “Give me one more, ma nénette. Baby, my good girl, come on my cock, milk me dry, I want you to be so full of me you're leaking for a month.”

Your only response was a choked off sob as his arm tightened across your windpipe, drool leaking down your chin and over his forearm as he bounced his hips off your ass and bit at the shell of your ear. It was getting harder and harder for you to breathe as you got closer to yet another peak, your vision tunneling and blood rushing in your ears as you tried and failed to brace your hands against the headboard and instead resigned yourself to letting him use you until you were utterly spent.

All it took were two more drives of his hips and his cock dragging through your swollen walls before you were blacking out with a pathetic whine and squirting all over his thighs. Lloyd threw his head back and roared when your perfect cunt squeezed the life out of his cock, sinking his teeth into your shoulder with a snarl as you pulled every single drop of cum from his balls as they pulled tight to his body until he was spilling inside you with a feral growl.

He collapsed on top of you with a groan when your pussy kept fluttering and flexing around him and making his pleasure stretch out almost unbelievably long as he panted into your hair. Not that you were aware of anything, drooling all over yourself and whining with need while Lloyd pressed kisses over the curve of your neck before scraping his teeth over the curve of your cheek as he stretched his body over yours.

“Ma chérie, you still with me?” He chuckled when your only response was an unintelligible murmur, pressing his lips to your temple then your cheek then your shoulder before pulling out of you reluctantly and rising to his feet. “Rest, ma coquinette, sweet little thing.”

Lloyd wandered out to the living area still stark naked after making sure you were indeed asleep, frowning at his two goons who had sat themselves in your lounge with those moronic looks on their faces.

“Call the fucking jet and tell them to fuel up and that we have another passenger. Then get Jeanette on the line and let her know we’ll need some of the necessities from this place packed and shipped to the states.” He heard you let out a sleepy moan and grinned to himself after shoving his hair out of his face, not even losing his good mood when he turned back to the two idiots who were blinking at him stupidly. “I’ve got a darling little pet now, and I want to make sure her transition to her new home goes as smoothly as possible. So try not to fuck it up like you usually do.”

[dragongirltongue]

working on a story/game/thing set in the 1990s, it's about the world changing and and the age of magic beginning. time is going to progress narratively only and I want the ending to take place on New Years to fit into the things are changing vibe.

The story is going to be playful but take itself seriously enough, think like Adventure Time or SLARPG in terms of tone, at least at this point in concept and development.

I'm thinking it'll either take place in '99 for the big heavy theming of entering the new millennium as the world changes forever.

Or

Somewhere earlier where the actual year turnover won't ultimately matter beyond the imagery of a new year beginning by the end of the story.

No show results option or suggest your own, though if you choose the second option and have a specific year in mind I'm very willing to listen, do give reasons if you suggest a specific year. Hell feel free to give reasons if you chose '99 too.

If you want more deets hit the read more.

So you wanna know more about this idea huh?

Well I was playing Tunic not long after Lenna's Inception and the Anodyne games and thought, hey I'd really love to make my own Zelda game too.

The idea is that 12,000ish years ago magic was discovered to be a thing by humanity, around this time a dragon appeared and warned that magic would doom the world. The magic users refused to listen and so a fight broke out, the dragon killed them all.

With the magic users all dead the dragon sealed earth in an anti-magic bubble and requested that their followers kill them to truly end all magic on earth, in their final moments they cast a spell with what magic is left inside the bubble to ensure they reincarnate if magic ever returns and can influence their new incarnation to destroy magic once again.

skip forward to the 1990s, after the industrial revolution caused untold amounts of ecological damage the anti-magic bubble is damaged along with all the horrors we know to have happened in reality.

At some point a corporation happens to find the truth, that magic exists and that a dragon is central to how it will alter our world. So they use it in several projects and build dragons to guard the locations these projects are taking place in. These locations then transform into dungeons.

Our hero finally enters the picture, Connie, a young woman who's just been doing whatever with her life, after investigating a rumor about monsters at a construction site she finds herself guided by a voice to take up a sword and fight the immitation dragons so she can achieve her true power, take on the form of a dragon herself, and save the world from the threat of magic.

Connie decides however after an accident at the first dungeon that maybe the world will be better off with magic as long as it's not solely in the hands of greedy rich bastards.

There's a lot more I have figured out but I think this is enough to get an idea for the poll. I am happy to blather more about the setting and Connie herself, her friends eventually too once I have them figured out. Feel free to send me asks about this. I'm prolly gonna make a sideblog for this at some point. Ideally once I have an idea if I can reasonably make a videos game or not lol.

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

okay so since Anne found the post and is making posts on a sideblog you're gonna find out anyway and I'd rather you find out from me than her because I know it's going to be worse if I don't so

Yes, I lied. Okay? I lied. As far as I know she's never done anything abusive and as far as I know she's never cheated. I really, really wanted her to be abusive and to cheat and I was hoping she was because maybe if she were then I'd be able to have a chance. Yes he never said he was T4T it was just something I liked to believe because it was easier for me to accept when he said I wasn't his type then came out as trans that he was wink nudging me like "hey this is why you're not my type" because its easier to think he wasn't interested in cis people than just not interested in me. Even though he was flirting with Anne before she came out as bigender. And tbh I was really devastated when he would push me away when I would grab his thigh but not push her away when she would wrap her arm around his. Even when he gave me this speech about how overstepping boundaries is how you find out other's boundaries sometimes, so when someone tells you don't touch my thigh you're not a bad person unless you KEEP touching their thigh I knew, I knew exactly what he was talking about but I just. Convinced myself he wasn't talking about me, just saying something theoretical.

And yes I absolutely on purpose wrote the AITA so that it said to check the TLDR because I was hoping people would just kinda. Either skip or scroll. Through the AITA and vote NTA or JAH or maybe even ESH and then I'd see that and could convince myself that people genuinely believed that and I'd get some sort of satisfaction out of it. And yes I know I know that I've been digging myself deeper and I know I've come off transphobic and it's because I was being transphobic. But it was just such a nice idea to have, that she/he was faking and the villain and I could catch her/him at it and then he'd thank me and decide to be with me after all. It was nice to think that the only reason he was with her is because they were both trans together and that it was impossible for an introvert to ever be with an extrovert and it was based solely on the trans thing because then if she WAS faking then I could be the hero, right? I don't even know if that makes sense. But when everyone ditched me I knew, I'm sorry I lied and I'm sorry I've pretended I didn't know that's what I was doing.

And then I thought if I could get this online somewhere and get people uninvolved and objective to agree that Anne was the bad guy then it woild be Out In the World as "official" that sje was abusive and bad for him. It's like when you hit someone's car in a parking lot and so you post on Facebook about how people need to look at their blind spots before backing put of a parking spot even though nobody was actually in the car, because if it's on Facebook that someone backed into you then people will see the post. So even if i had a restraining order and they didn't talk to me then online it wpuld be stated that she was in the wrong and that I could go through my life saying "see, they all know she's bad for him and thst I would've been good for him" and then maybe someone close to Anne wpuld see the post and see how everyone voted NTA (thst I wasn't the asshole) and tell them to break up, and that if they saw people online unequivocally vote her as the asshole they'd reconsider.

And yes I know there's nothing wrong wirh being an extrovert or an introvert. Honestly I don't even know why I brought thst up. It's just thst Mike and I often liked a lot of the same past times and I guess I put more importance on that than I should've. And I shouldn't have blasted thr fact shebwas a virgin all over the internet or the fact she made out wirh people years ago. Thst was private business and I shouldn't have said thst. And I shouldn't have forced her hand into telling strangers she likes topping or thst shebhas a packer in order to prove her transness.

It shouldn't have taken loterally hundreds maybe even a thousand asks ans people reblogging my posts for me to do this. Honestly I think I knew i was wrong before I even made this blog. I think I kind of hoped that AITA had deleted thr ask because it took so long to get answered. I thought writing terfs dni on my posts woild prevent them from messaging me because I knew that they would see me as a possible recruit based on what I was saying. I didn't want them to contact me but they have. I just thought if I could never ever see a terf agree with me that I could continue pretending that I wasn't being transphobic.

And since she's making posts I worry that she might tell everyone a couple things about me that honestly I do deserve but I just want to get it out there now: before I met her I got a crush on one of my teachers in high school. When he quit to move to another city I was devastated. I was 15 and I thought i was in love. So a month or so after he left o told my friends that he ans I had been having an affair. I didn't think it wpuld go anywhere else but one of them told the principal. The teacher nearly got fired for this, and even though I admitted the truth to the cops because the last thing I wanted was him to get in actual trouble, he ended up having to start over at a whole new school after only teaching at that other school on the new city for a month. At my school rumors spread that he and I actually did have an affair and I just backtracked because he threatened me or something but honestly that wasn't the case. I told her about this a few months before she came out as trans and she was obviously disappointed and disgusted in me and didn't speak to me for awhile and even told me to wait until she contacted me fordt befire tslking again. Another thing is that one time Mike pushed me really hard when we were all at his house because I put my hands in his hoody pocket and said "hey handsome" when we were in his kitchen alone even though he told me two times before not to do that. I did run out saying that a man should never hit a woman to all his friends in the living room and Anne immediately stood between me and him to protect me but he explained what happened and when Anne asked me if it was true, if i really had put my hands in his pockets again and said hey handsome, I shook my head at first then started crying and nodded and said it was true. They didn't speak to me for a VERY long time, honestly they told me several times after that i was on thin ice. I told them I had been drinking and maybe they still believe me but I am going to tell the truth now: I was sober.

I don't know how else to explain this and honestly just writing this out has made me realize what this looks like and that this is wrong and I need help, which Anne and Mike both have told me multiple times over and over very politely and I just never listened but I've never written anything out like this before so I've ever had to actually see it before, bur I genuinely thought that everything I did was like romantic. That if it were a movie or a book it wpuld be artistic and romantic. That Anne would be the bitchy narcissistic girlfriend that I discover is a horrible cheating abusive person and once I showed everyone the evidence Mike would leave her for me, and that if I got enough people to believe that's what really happened and that Mike was duped and tricked by her into cutting me out then even if I knew that it isn't what happened deep down I could convince myself that's what happened. Just like I've convinced myself we were still friends even though everyone had been slowly cutting me out little by little and the only reason we ever were friends is because I kept finding reasons to invite myself into things.

If she's reading this, I really, really am sorry, and I'm going to try and get some help. I dont know how else to tell you and especially Mike how sorry I am without breaching the restraining order. I've known for awhile I've fucked up, I think I even knew as I was doing this it was wrong, and I don't know why I kept digging my heels in even more. I'm just so sorry.

[userholland]

snowed in hell

you didn't think a weekend with your boss could get worse... actually, it does once you're snowed in with him and away from home. you thought he was the worse, but there is something beneath his cold exterior that's very passionate and romantic and you're curious if you can explore that.

PAIRING: ceo!tom holland x assistant/secretary!reader

GENRE: smut 18+ minors dni!, pwp, enemies to lovers (?), secret crushes, lots and lots of longing and pining, dom!tom + dom!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.2k [the longest one so far lol]

A/N: merry christmas eve/happy holidays! sexy present here lmao. i haven't written smut in a while so apologies in advance but i thought id just throw one in there. honestly may post more on my smut sideblog now that i have a bit more time to write! let me know if this series has been great for you guys :D

𑁍 masterlist 𑁍

"A weekend away didn't seem like a bad idea"... is what you should be thinking. The winter wonderland that was this beautiful snowfall was all nice and cheery until you're going with your boss for one of his many conferences before the holiday season can start.

Now, Tom Holland wasn't bad looking, but once his egotistical comments spouted out of his mouth, you were able to snap back into reality. Not only could he sound like the most out-of-touch guy, but he flaunted how successful he was on-top of his looks.

So when he invited you－ no, expect you－ to come to this conference, it was a bit of a disappointment when you thought that it would be your one weekend of not doing anything that revolved around him. Now it was all about him... as per usual.

Carefully driving to the five-star hotel, all he did was talk about his own expectations and try to figure out what to say at the big dinner they were holding before tomorrow's conference. All you could do was make mental notes since you were driving and he was checking himself in the mirror in the backseat.

Luckily, you had adjoined rooms so there was some separation between your lives these next two days. While he was working in his room, you hoped to go on the slopes and enjoy breakfast on the nice outside deck while reading a book. Maybe even meet someone like in some cheesy romance movie.

"No, no, we have the charity ball on the 5th. The opening of the library the week after." Tom sighed, "Yes, yes, darling, I'm aware of that, but we can move all those dates... Trust me, I know Mr. Morales isn't with his wife on Tuesdays and Thursdays..." He continued, his left eyebrow arched.

You could roll your eyes, but all you did was take a deep breath.

"Well, I checked in the mirror and I can say that today is gonna be a great day." He smirked.

Oh, God. You needed this thirty remaining minutes to turn into thirty seconds.

"Y/N, slow down a bit. We're in no rush." Tom signaled his hand, looking through the front windshield.

"Yes, sir." You grinned, fixing your posture as you eased your foot off the gas pedal.

♡ ♡ ♡

You're relieved once you're checked into your room, knowing there was one wall between you and Tom. When you lay on your bed, basically hoping into the soft mattress, you let out a huge sigh of relief.

After a few minutes of hearing Tom's muffled voice through the wall, it was silent. You fix your skirt and button up before knocking on the door until Tom said you could come in.

When you step in, you see Tom standing in front of the full-body mirror by the window. As much as you wanted to complain, he did look good in a dark suit. You saw him adjust his sleeves under his jacket, but his tie was crooked.

"Here, I let me fix your tie." You trailed as you walked over.

You leaned into your heels, pulling the tie a bit down before pulling it perfectly where the top button of his shirt was. His brown eyes glossed over as he watched you, admiring how the orange light from the sunset laying against your face.

When you lifted your head, you saw his eyes, but you two could just produce awkward laughs. When you were hired, all your friends envied that you worked for someone as handsome and suave as Tom, and so were you. It was his huge ego that got in the way. Then, there were moments like this where that small crush bloomed back up.

Tom couldn't disagree that there weren't some feelings in the beginning as well. Workplace relationships were frowned upon, and already keeping his father's company afloat, there was no need to try to impress you. He would rather fight off those feelings then see where it goes.

"Thank you, Y/N." He said before clearing his throat.

"Of course, sir." You grinned.

"You don't have to always call me that. It's Tom, darling."

"I know." You quickly said, but you felt heat on your cheeks.

"Well, we need to get down there." He quickly gathered himself before the two of you left your rooms.

When you entered the elevator, it was just the two of you. There wasn't much said but it stopped on the floor below, a few people filed in and you felt Tom place his hand on your lower back as you took a few steps back.

You leaned next to him, placing your hand on his chest. Tom's heart hadn't beat so fast in a while, but in that moment, he thought everyone in the small space could hear it.

"Sorry, sir." You said, pulling your hand back and then tucking your hair behind your ear.

"You don't have to apologize, darling."

Your eyes fixated longer on him before the doors opened, and he walked out with the others.

Quickly, you followed him before he was practically mobbed by his peers, asking all these questions and statements while you stood behind his back. A few times he'd look over his shoulder to make sure you were close, and you would show him a small smile.

Time got away as he loved to talk business before timidly tapped his shoulder and he turned his attention toward you.

"Sir, the conference starts in five minutes."

He chuckled, "Oh, I have to go but nice seeing you guys. Let's catch up this weekend." Tom smiled at the few men.

As the two of you walked away, Tom's smile fell and his hands played with the first button of his suit jacket.

"What happened?" You asked, trying to keep up with his fast pace.

"Just because I have the money to finance their plans doesn't mean I can. I'm not..." He trailed, "Well, I'm not some dream maker. Let's put it at that."

"Sorry about that, sir." You cleared your throat.

"Remember what we spoke about?" He asked, turning to you.

"Tom... I meant Tom." You trailed, giving a half-smile.

He actually smiled back, something you rarely saw but the two of you continued to the hall, taking your seats before a long meeting.

♡ ♡ ♡

After an hour and a half, you and Tom went to the bar as per his request. Instead of sitting at the stools, you were sat at a table and you weren't use to spending a dinner with him. When the waiter came by, you were going to order for the two of you until Tom spoke first.

"One glass of scotch neat and a gin and tonic, light on the tonic." He said, impressing you.

"You remembered?" You asked, sounding like an old friend.

"Of course. It's not always your job to do that." He grinned.

Once you got your drinks, you cheers to the night and a successful start to the weekend. You almost wanted to toast to Tom not getting on your last nerve, but a man came by with 'manager' written under his name on his tag.

"Excuse me, but we just wanted to tell you that there is a harsh snowstorm right now. There may be some bad cell service and the roads are completely covered so, I would advise you not to go out tonight if you were planning to leave."

"Thank you for telling us." Tom nodded.

"We can send anything complimentary to your room if needed, Mr. Holland." He reassured him before leaving.

"Wow, so you're not new around here." You joked a bit and wondered if it was okay.

"Yeah, I've come here a few times. With my dad before I took over the business. Anything you need, on me."

You nodded, taking a sip of your drink, and then the rest of the hour was getting to know one another. He got to know you better than when you were first interviewed, but now that he was relaxed, Tom got to know you better than the side he aggressively showed in the office.

He had been meaning to sit down with you for a long time, wondering if there was any chance he would, but he thought about his reputation too much. He knew it could be a mood-killer sometimes, but there was a lot to hold yet being with you right there made him forget all of that.

There was an unspoken tension at the table and neither of you two wanted to address it... but there was still enough time in the weekend.

♡ ♡ ♡

That night, you weren't sure how to feel. You wondered if there was actually anything you felt romantically toward Tom. You paced the room a few times and ended up staring into the night sky through your deck.

Once you tried to focus on the silence of the room, you could hear the muffled TV noises coming through the wall that shared your rooms. You took a few deep breaths as you approach the door, talking yourself through this in your head.

You knocked, "May I come in?"

"Yeah!" Tom shouted.

When you entered his room, the beginning of the movie Charade starring Audrey Hepburn was on, oddly fitting with the location you were staying at. Tom walked from the bathroom, his tie loosen and his shoes off. He seemed more relaxed than you did, but he probably wasn't wondering what was coming of this in your mind.

"Hi... I uh, I just heard the TV and thought I would um... I uh, come over." You said, knowing how awkward and childish it sounded.

"Yeah, just an old movie. I was practicing my speech for tomorrow's conference." He said, gently pulling off his cuff links.

You hummed, standing there and your knees suddenly felt weak.

Tom took a second look at you, "Is everything okay?"

Butterflies swarmed inside your stomach, fuzzy feelings exploding and all you could do was slowly walk over to him. He sensed what move you could make, but Tom stood tall and strong, able to easily do it.

"Y/N, look at me." He softly commanded.

Your eyes met, and all you could hear was the TV in the background and the sound of your heart beating in your ears. Just as you took a step closer, he placed his hand on your soft cheek. Soon, your lips met in the middle for a spontaneous kiss that tasted heavenly.

As your tongue pressed against his, practically melting at how soft his was, his firm hands began to unbutton your top before he pulled away from the kiss.

"Is this okay?" He practically whispered.

You hummed, "Yes. Yes, keep going."

Just like that, he contiuned pulling apart the buttons one by one as your noses brushed against one another's and you could barely take the tension.

Once you undid the last button, you let your shirt fall near your feet. Standing there in your silk white bra and skirt, you slowly pushed him toward the bed until he sat down. His eyes trailed your body as you stood only a few feet away and your hands met the back of your skirt.

He watched you slowly peel down the zipper, the fabric pulling from your body before it fell to the ground as well. Tom's mouth gapped a bit, seeing your stockings were attached to a white garter belt and the matching lacey, white panties beneath them.

Tom was loss for words, the dim lights not doing any justice for your body. He leaned up as you walked toward him, and his hands immediately met your hips. He slowly pressed his lips against your lower abdomen, giving you butterlies as he continued to tease.

As you watched him carefully place his wet kisses, your hand met his soft curls and carded through them each time he got lower. He used his teeth to pull at the top of your panties, letting the fabric lightly slap your skin.

"You look like an angel, you know that?" He muttered.

You wanted to nod, but he ran his hand up your inner thigh before meeting your clothed slit. He smirked as he massaged the wet spot on the center of your panties. Your swollen clit ached, trying not to let your knees get weak as you still stood infront of him.

Your hands met his shoulders, and your fingernails lightly grazed his freckled skin. He kept moving his two fingers ever so slowly as he left a small love bite on your hip.

"I bet you want me to fuck you senseless, yes?" He groaned, "Until you can't even say words... just my name."

A small moan left your throat as he switched to his thumb rubbing on your clit. You gulped, wanting him to pull them off already but instead he brought you down to your knees.

"Not before you prove to me you're a good girl who deserves to be fucked so good." Tom nodded, holding his eye contact with you.

At first you wanted to pout, but you also wanted to show him that you were no force to be reckon with either. He thought he had the control and you were going to change that.

"Yes, sir." You trailed, giving a new meaning to the respect addressing he always told you not to use.

After unbuckling his belt, you threw it to the side before unzipping his pants. His cock pressed against his briefs, bigger than you expected. You tossed his pants along with his belt before your hand moved against his hard that stayed below the soft fabric.

Your fingers pulled each side of the band of his briefs, watching his cock spring up and all felt was your face feeling hot. He carefully watched your hand perfectly grip his base, pumping his hard slowly as your tongue ran over his red tip.

"Fucking christ, fuck." He groaned, using his weight to push up on his elbows as he laid back on the bed.

He expected you to be fast, but the slowness of your pace was killing him. Your hand moved up and down, your spit lubricating his base and your mouth wrapped around his tip.

"Don't fucking tease me all night, darling." He lowly growled, his hand moving through your hair to keep it from your face. He wanted to watch every second of his cock in your sweet mouth.

As your hands pushed against both his thighs, you felt his cock grow harder as his tip pressed against the back of your throat. You couldn't see Tom, but heard his moans he was obviously trying to hold back.

"No teeth, darling. Open your mouth wider... fucking. Yeah, fucking feels good." He practically panted.

Before he felt himself on the edge, you pulled away and all he could hear was his own heart beating. He didn't question fast enough, and you were already on your feet before straddling him.

"You had your fun, now you're gonna show me why you deserve to fuck me." You giggled, half-smiling then pressed your lips against his. He liked this side of you.

Tom rolled the two of you over, the cool sheets against your back. He parted your legs as he trailed wet kisses over your bra, down your stomach then over your panties. You tilted your head watching him unclip your stockings from your belt, then pulling your panties to the side.

He propped your left leg over his shoulder before placing a kiss on your clit, so swollen and wet. His tongue perfect stoked below your clit and right above your slit, just the place to make your whole body squirm. Tom continued to flick his tongue right at your sweet spot, holding down your hips as they tried to move.

A trail of quiet moans left your lips, completely in awe of how he took his time. Just as your stomach turned, his two fingers slipped inside you. They curled and moved slowly as his tongue worked your clit.

You could cum right there, letting him watch your whole body wither but you wanted to play the long game too. Your grip moved to his curls, tugging so hard the move you tried to hold back your orgasm.

"Oh... oh, I wanna..." Your voice strained, ending up biting your lip.

Tom smirked before leaving wet kisses up your slit and then further up toward your hips until wrapping his lips around your right nipple.

You leaned up on your elbows, smiling to yourself before he kissed you again, "I wanna be in control now." You whispered.

The two of you switched positions again, straddling him as he leaned his back against the headboard the of bed. You slowly wrapped your arms back around him, pecking faint kisses up his neck before meeting your noses again.

Your one hand guided his tip to your slit, rubbing it against the wet entrance before sinking down on his lap. His low, rough grunt was against your lips, but all you could do was smirk.

"I bet you want me to move now on your cock. I can feel it stretching out my tight hole." You whispered once more.

He didn't think such a dirty sentence could come from those lips.

"God, you feel fucking amazing, you tease." He said, his fingers pushing into your hips.

"I don't want you to cum until I say..." You kissed him, "Think you can do that, sir?" You teased.

Surprisingly, he nodded his head but he was completely putty. You fixed your posture to make your back straight, then start moving your hips. His head falls, pressing his forehead against your shoulder.

Tom tried to refrain from moving, bucking his hips a few times. You tried to take control by kissing him and make sure he's distracted, but there was no stopping his wanting to turn the two of you over and have his own control back.

"Don't be shy, tell me if you're gonna cum." You whimpered, also feeling your walls tighten around his throbbing cock.

"God, yes. I'm gonna cum." He grunted between your kiss.

You sped up the pace of your hips, hearing the slapping of your skin fill the room. You gasp and whine, "Don't cum yet."

But, he was so eager.

"Not yet... not yet." You trailed as you felt near your edge. You wanted him to wait until you were right there too.

By this point, he didn't want to move his hips, afraid of letting go since he was holding back. Your nails dug across his back, your clit incredibly swollen and your wetness trailing down your inner thighs.

"Fucking cum now, God!" You announced in a whiny tone.

Tom pushed down your hips, and his cock bottomed out inside you. Your voices were shaky and hoarse by the time you came back down from your highs.

Your head fell against his shoulder, both of your bodies settling as you huffed to catch your breaths. You slowly rolled off of him and lay next to him in his bed. Quickly, he pulled the covers over you two and leaned on his side to look at your tired self.

"Think we can go for round two in say..." He checked his watch, "Ten minutes?" Tom joked.

You smirked, "Make it five and I promise I'll have you screaming louder than me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Not for me, sir."