#I want this shit to be OVER AUGH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leeblissy · 9 months

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hi I'm home sick with covid, am probably not getting paid for my time off, and have had to order quite a bit of food cuz I don't feel well enough to make anything o/-< it's getting very expensive very fast and I don't have much money left, plus the money im losing out on from not working is gonna fucking suck.

I can't draw anything rn cuz my apple pencil doesn't work and I'm just so so exhausted anyway but here's my kofi and my v*nmo is herecomeslee if you wanna help a guy out

#covid #kofi #this is such a miserable experience I already hate being sick and I've had covid once in like 2021/22 but this is so much worse dawg #I'm in sensory hell right now like I was so overwhelmed by how full of snot I was that I cried several times including a full on sob sesh #I can't do fuck all either cuz I'm so exhausted but can't get any fucking sleep cuz I can barely breathe (too much snot not a lung issue)#I want this shit to be OVER AUGH #lee says shit

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volivolition · 6 days

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part of that "raising a kid au" i was working on, this is almost definitely not how skill checks work and i don't even know if i'll include this, but for now i think it's. so funny kjkgj

#task: when two skills love each other very much #inland drabbles #SHE WAS JUST BORN WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS SO STUPIDLY SELF INDULGENT KJGKJ i have constant baby fever and kid fics are very dear to me kjkjg #i love the idea of all 24 (26?? 27??? 28?????) of these idiots raising a syskid together #i have many thoughts but its not a coherent story at all haskjsj #i know her name and her role as a skill (she's a psyche) and i think the concept is adorable though i won't reveal spoilers #echem and volition (either not dating yet or new to their relationship) start to understand her better due to their roles.#but all the skills try to help raise her together :'] coloring with concept and hand/eye tossing her in the air and catching her again #i wanna have a lil arb and limbic thing too..#oh this shit is gonna be absolutely ooc im so sorry in advance i just want them to raise a kid together jlkgjlk #i want to make it a comic but augh. god jkgljkj #all of my fics are just like. hey what if the skills are friends. and then i write that over and over again lmao

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hiveswap · 10 months

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#10 second untagged shitposts will get 100k but the moment im pround of something no one gives a shit!! i dont suck that much at it!!#and i hate pointing it out because im not entitled to notes no one owes me anything #but man it sucks the life out of me every single time #i admit the last one i posted is kinda niche and messy but this happens with my better fanarts made of popular media too #my one drawing to get above 100 notes is a little kark@t doodle #for a while i refused to draw because i wanted aknowledgement for it. dont be like me kids. draw for the drawer #and also draw for your roommate whose eyes nearly pop out of their skull over the mildest body horror #augh i was so pround of the body horror one too but i had to delete that from here due to the 5 whole notes it got #my french teacher said it looked cool though so whose winning

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robotsafari · 2 months

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redrawing my favorite gba chain of memories scenes with my own interpretations part 1(?):

“You’re thinking about me… You’re afraid of the darkness I command.”

#beep boop you want fries with that #kingdom hearts #riku #ansem #GBA CHAIN OF MEMORIES IS SO GOOD. please play it over the remake im begging. it also plays a lot better too.#every ansem scene is better in gba com because i dont have to listen to richard epcar attempt to be intimidating #they altered so many scenes in the remake and a lot of the changes suck !! just straight up !! i will never forgive them for changing #this scene and the previous lexaeus scenes. like why did they have riku get possessed for a second only for the next cutscene to #literally be about riku trying not to get possessed. like that makes no sense. its just cheap shock value and just treating lexaeus #like shit. at least he mentioned zexion. ok if i knew how to do rom hacks i could literally change the dialogue myself to mention zexion.#ok sorry for complaining. uhhh #the composition is clearly ripped off from the owl house. sorry. season 1 belos scene.#and the background is just the original gba bg of the scene but blurred to look less pixelated #sorry the anatomy sucks. i know rikus arms shouldnt be that long but too late. kms.#this scene is so good because augh. this is the first time in this game we come face to face with the real ansem. not just diz pretending #to be him to just shove down ‘darkness bad’ down his throat. this is why mickey comes to save him in this scene. because riku is in #real danger here. thats also the reason why mickey sends his power again when riku is being dangled like a puppet BECAUSE ANSEM WAS THERE #FOR REAL THIS TIME. anyway yeah i know ansem’s sprite doesn’t appear when he says that but the portrait is a silhouette so i went #weh. why not !!#anyway im obsessed w/ cryptid ansem. ghost inhabitanting a fallen kingdom. continuing the fucked up experiments like if they never stopped #OK IVE ALREADY RAMBLED ENOUGH AND THIS SHIT IS GOING INTO RE:KH TERRITORY. (hunter voice) BYEEEEEEE

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morrigan-sims · 28 days

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What a difference a few years makes...

Rook at age 17-18 vs age 26 & Val at age 17 vs age 32

Not a whole lot changed appearance-wise for Rook, except for getting a few more ear piercings and a lot more scars (most of which you can't even see in these pictures). And he started wearing rings/necklaces, which you can't really see. And started wearing increasingly slutty shirts. Val also gained a scar or two, plus several tattoos. Their horns were broken when they were 17, so pre-17 they had full horns. Oh, and the eyepatch. That's a big one. And they got enough money to buy themself a big hat and a lot of fancy coats.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 cas #sims 4 CAS #ts4 CAS #adventures in cas #my sims #cas #oc: Val #oc: Rook #dnd sims #then and now #highly recommend making younger versions of your OCs especially if they've Been Through It in the past few years.#it's very fun to see and think about how they change over time #little baby Rook in particular is so fucking cute. I just wanna give him a hug. He's just a little baby boyyyy.#(I say as if I'm not only 2-3 years older than him in that pic lmao.)#but augh his soft little face without the scars... makes me want to scream. He was before both the best and worst of his life then. 😭#he thought his biggest problems were learning to sail and that the most family he'd ever find would be Zara. And he was wrong on both count #this is gonna post during my session with him and holy fucking shit is he going to be Going Through It.#his favorite party member and father figure died at the end of last session... Not fun.#this is actually the second father figure he's lost in LESS THAN TWO DAYS. It's so fucked. My poor baby.#and he's going to give a eulogy tomorrow and it's the most honest he's ever been in his life and that's horrifying bc man is this shit dark

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robinsnest2111 · 4 months

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one of my most irritating and annoying traits: when I'm mentally zoned in on a thing and have all the details in my mind, NOTHING ELSE WILL DO. NO SUBSTITUTIONS, NO APPROXIMATIONS, THIS EXACT THING OR DEATH

#i used to drive my entire family absolutely bonkers with this #like. when i was 13 and totally obsessed with hetalia i wanted a coat and boots Just Like Russia #my aunt took me shopping. we looked all over the city and i tried on some good coats and boots #BUT NONE OF THEM WERE THE RIGHT CUT OR FIT OR DETAILS WERE MISSING #and i ended up going back home empty handed. leaving everyone involved frustrated beyond belief #also several other instances. when i was expecting a certain meal but things changed last minute? i would NOT be eating anything at all #everyone hated me for that. got yelled at so much over it #and now this coat thing augh. not this shit again i am so tired of myself already haha

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gayestcowboy · 11 days

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oh my god cazador’s legendary action is NASTY i’m never actually attempting true honor mode because i could not possibly survive this in one try

#i’ve died twice…. finally broke my streak of never having to retry a battle more than once #i’m going to bed…. also have to drive halfway across the country tomorrow so idk when i’ll have free time to play some more #i need to keep a cazador death tally #no one stands a chance against the monk except cazador with his stupid legendary action #it’s horrible because my monk always has the highest initiative but they don’t do well taking damage. so i can’t get up close to cazador #to punch him to death #if karlach was able to go before cazador it would be so much easier. because she can take a big hit #every single time i’ve failed the cazador fight karlach has always been the last one standing for several rounds after everyone else has #died and cazador has ascended because she’s just unkillable. and i have to slowly and painfully watch her die #AUGH….#missing my wild magic sorcerer bc he just wild magic-ified cazador into a sheep which prevented him from doing his stupid ritual #my next strategy will be relying heavily on dimension door #no one give me tips i have to figure this shit out myself #i’m enjoying myself greatly i love when strategy games make me want to tear my face off #i still can’t get over how absurdly easy orin’s fight was with my monk. compared to cazador’s insane shit #waaaugh…#yeehaws #bg3

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one-winged-dreams · 1 month

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I HATE IT WHEN HORNY THOUGHTS GET ME EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED, FUCKING HATE IT

#AUGH #he's been on a the crush list for a while now but fuuuck #you'll have to excuse me some supremely fucked up shit got thrust upon me today and I've been hardcore disassociating to cope #and now i'm choking up over gallagher and -gestures wildly- everything involving that #where did this come from i wasn't really super attached to him in the first place? it was just a crush???#dude what do you WANT from me #why am i in love with you all of a sudden

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toytulini · 2 months

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reeeeeeally wish. it didnt feel. like the needs of my body vs the needs of my brain were actively in fucking conflict with each other in a way that makes it impossible to function or exist

#toy txt post #chronic pain #just. really frustrated. cant see a way out or through or over or whatever here yall #augh #and dad wants me to. do what i was doing before that made everything worse somehow as a method to get my foot in the door and fucking #network???? to do?????? unclear. until i get what. middle management?#how the fuck would that help anything #meanwhile i am trying to muster the executive function to complete. the catpans #ouaghghahghhgghg #it is so hard to be gentle with myself about this bc it doesnt feel like i deserve gentleness for it! like i have worked so hard to try to #unlearn the ableism and shit but that doesnt really fucking help much if both my parents just keep that shit so deeply baked into their #worldview that they interpret me trying to treat myself a little gentler as being a lazy freeloader or whatever #like im really trying not to be too harsh on myself about this but for what? at least if im mean to me about it i have ground to stand on #in calling their meanness unjust and unnecessary cos dont worry!!!!!!!!! i can reproduce the entire fucking ableism cycle inside my own #head and self flagellate for not being able ti push through it like you guys did so you dont have to! in fact i am so good at it that it #makes it an impossible topic to address! bc i just speedrun everything into thinking of myself as worthless so you dont have to! see im not #a total laze/s #god. i hate this so much so fucking much. aaaaagh. there are a number of things i CAN do and unfortunately none of them seem to be #the necessary administrative faff of it all #oausbdjsfusbfhshhrrrgrhrhgggg #trying to organize notes of talking points to unpack this a little in therapy this week but its only the second appt. so like. she wanted #to go through a bit of a questionnaire? idkkkk

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0boko · 2 months

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it is so, so difficult to have someone treat you like shit and then hear 'he can't help it! he can't control his body well!' like i don't fucking know that. it doesn't make it hurt any less.

#sorry. i feel like such an awful sister for venting about this. but jesus christ. jason's body does Not give a shit about my boundaries.#it doesn't matter how i'm feeling. i haveta do whatever it wants me to do otherwise it will pester me and badger me and badger me and badge #until i fucking do what it wants. and he never fucking talks about it to me.#so i don't even know if he feels guilt for it or if he's happy with this!!#i just don't understand why my family doesn't give a shit about my physical and mental needs.#i've given up my life to take care of them. i'm stuck here. all to take care of them. they could at least let me emotionally regulate mysel #when i need to so i don't have a meltdown and explode and lash out and hurt others.#he's not the only one with a body that can be uncontrollable! he's not the only one who's autistic!#i just want my needs to be considered important too!#but nooo because i don't have any awesome capabilities or anything worth bragging over i'm disregarded!#and it's not like i don't take responsibility for my actions. i try so fucking hard to keep myself regulated. but you put enough pressure #on a human being and they're gonna explode!#just. AUGH. why doesn't my family care about me in the way i need them to!?

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months

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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper #Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed #with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi #all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement #english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS #where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to #like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect #score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol #I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret #meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you #get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized #speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea #ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different #ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one #liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate #in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since #I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small #character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility #question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju #t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually #is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so #is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i #2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have #SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and #talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem #harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically #just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl #in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for #Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol

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piplupod · 2 months

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are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me

#i feel like absolute shit rn fsdjkl #i think i talked too much today even though i barely spoke at all #but every time i talked someone else had smth to say and then the leader guy had to keep coming back to me like ''what were u saying?''#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl #i mean like. he did ask me questions directly a few times. so he was trying to help me have opportunities to speak #but fsjkl i just. i feel bad for talking bc i know everyone else wants to talk constantly #and i can do without speaking fsdjkl i just... i kept stumbling over my words so badly and it was rly embarrassing ;-;#but i'd get nervous and panicked bc i knew i'd be interrupted at any second so i was just trying to find the shortest way to say my thing #but then i'd trip over my words bc i was so nervous and it'd take too long #and i just felt like i wasn't putting enough effort into my tone so i probably sounded rly flat today and i just. urgghhh #holding my head and tugging at my hair. why can't i just be normal dgjkl why am i so fucking annoying and weird and difficult #i dont know 😭 today was rly difficult bc i was just feeling kind of awful and like i was in the way all day #i did find some yarn colours i need at a flea market though and also some dip pens that i've always wanted to try #i figure $3 is a steal of a deal to try out dip pens instead of buying them brand new for like $30 fdsjkl #so there was something good from today! i just feel like i was annoying to be around all day idk fdsjkl #i honestly probably was totally fine sdfjkl i just. argh #and i hate going to stores w the centre bc i end up following the group leader around after a while bc i dont ever buy anything #i look around at the stuff i like to look at and then i am done and don't want to be a nuisance by being hard to find when everyone-#-else is done so i just figure sticking by the group leader is the best idea. stores dont like when i hang around the front for long fdsjkl #but then i just feel like a weird little kid trailing after their parent 😭 i wish i could just be an AdultTM but augh augh augh #what a fucking weird thing for me to do dsfjkl i just. dont know what else to do bc stores get annoyed w me if i wait at the front #and i dont want to wait outside bc then they'll forget im out there and look for me inside when theyre done LMAO #if i had income then maybe i'd be able to spend longer looking at things but fdsjkl theres only so much looking u can do when u dont buy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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justanotherfanartist · 7 months

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#back on my super personal posting bs #last basketball game for the band tonight #augh and misery but at least it’s at Cool Big Semi Circle. Two hour drive at least tho. sigh.#if u from my state you know what I mean. actually wtv it’s obvious idfk Tacoma Dome moment lmaooo #man. last thing of band for the whole year kinda sucks ngl #our band is fucked don’t get me wrong but a part of me still loves it with a lot less cynicism than most of my friends n other band kids do #part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time #the reality is that our director sucks our band sucks nobody practices and we don’t really play well #but in my head #I’m doing well #i practice. a lot. because I like it #All my friends are here #I’m doing what my dad did in Highschool and being like him makes me really happy #which is especially why I’m switching to drumline next year to hopefully be on snare #I’m actually gonna kill myself if I get cymbals i fucking HATE cymbals I will fight my Director on this actually so hard #cus I don’t know shit about percussion #but my dad is a drummer and so is one of my senior friends who is sticking around after they graduate this year #and they’ve both agreed to teach me over the summer #so I’m gonna go fucking crazy hard into practicing so I can do percussion ensemble next year and do drumline too #I’m literally gonna dig in my trenches and fight tooth and nail to get what I want #and I’ve never really done that before #It really feels like I’m determined to prove myself worth of being a snare #not cymbals #not bass #snare #I feel like I was kind of always meant for this; I’ve just been putting it off yknow?#I’m the child of two divorced music majors #my dad is a drummer who was in band his whole life #he loves it. he loves it so much.#my parents moved to New York to chase their dreams and become musicians

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fullofvexation · 5 months

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It stg every time I see an anti-CGI-in-movies post I have to physically put my phone down to restrain myself from replying with a ten page diatribe about why that's a stupid stance everyone applaud my self control

#it makes me SO ANGRY #they're always written by ppl who have ZERO knowledge of how vfx in film actually works #and then there 700 replies that are nonsense or misinformat #but the trex in Jurassic park- THE FULL BODY SHOTS WERE CGI STFU #but Guillermo del Toro- WE REDID ALL HIS CREATURES OVER THE PROSTHETICS STFU #but vecna/jarnathan/the predator- THE WERE ALL RETOUCHED YOURE NOT SEEING PURE PRACTICAL EFFECTS #AUGH #as if vfx artists don't have it rough already #you get punched by your studio punched by the director #and then if your shit is good enough people will say Look! Look how good these practical effects were!#it makes me want to scream #you spend your days making things so that people can ignore it if it's good and hate you if it's bad #I'm begging people think for a SECOND before you just slam and entire art form and professional field ffs #okay I'm done #I have so much to say about this I could go on forever

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anothermonikan · 1 month

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Today's one W: playing viddy games with friends actually cleared my processes a bit and it was revealed to me what was bothering me so badly. So I then decided that what was bothering me was actually really silly and decided I shouldn't be bothered by it anymore because there's nothing I can do about it. Yay <3

#I get so abnormal about the. Robotcomputerthing sometimes #Because most the time it's just like yay :D I am silly computer! Funny little robot thingy >:3 #And then sometimes I get so fucked up over not actually having that. Body. I guess. Like what do you mean I don't have. Wires and shit :((#I want em. I will not be getting that. Augh. Me when my identity actually affects how I feel as something that exists #And isn't just a funny thing I can say. What. Un-fucking-beleivable #</3 it's like that with all facets of how I identify #What do you mean me being an aroace objectum actually majorly affects how I view the world compared to most people around me.#And it's not just a silly thing I can make silly jokes about. Ashdbdhshs #Uhhh #Hm #Robotkin #? I'm not sure I identify with that I was in the trenches of kin discourse a while back and now I feel bad. About Id'ing with any kin thing #Because it's not that serious I guess. And it's supposed to be serious all da timeee #And well. I guess it is there all the time but I'm still just me yknow. How I always am #Idk. Sjshdhdb #Android.txt

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sofarsogoodsowhat · 2 years

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crying and screaming and shitting etc

#FUCKINGGGGGGGG BADMOTORFINGER AND OPERATION MINDCRIME AUGH OH SHIT OH FUCK*NUTS ALL OVER RHE PLACE*#ALSO I DONT KNOW MUCH ABT VINYLS BUT I THINK THE SABBATH ONE COULD BE AN ORIGINAL? idk i bought it used and rhino doesn’t have labels for #ogs like the one i usually go to does #anwyay it’s my birthday tomorrow and my mom didn’t rlly get me anything so she gave me money to spend on either records or weed LOL #not exactly any of the megadeth records i wanted but. live album from the nick menza era.#they also had rocka rolla and iron maiden self titled but id feel weird buying those from a record store that ppl go to to buy ts records #same w dirt alice in chains. that one was also $40

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