#I was confused so I Googled it and lo and behold

[cha1cedony]

Patreon suspended my account 🥲

[versadies]

it's the pink apron phenomenon. everybody, i present; how do scara, diluc & xiao (seperate) take care of their beloved pink apron and how did they get it?

house husband au ofc ! apologies if ur reqs arent open (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

the origins of the pink apron ! (the way of the househusband au)

SALUTATIONS. THE ORIGINS OF THE PINK APRON (twothhau)

ADDRESSED. diluc ragnvindr, xiao, scaramouche/wanderer (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. fluff/no-angst, modern!au, househusband!characters, cheesiness, ooc?, mentions of yakuza, wanderer is referred to as “scaramouche” here, not proofread properly (couldnt access to google docs and my grammar checker atm so i apologize for any grammar errors 😰😰)

STAMP. after some inconveniences, the houshusbands find themselves in a situation where they now have to wear pink aprons, and to your surprise, they like it ! (or, how they get their pink aprons and why they kept it)

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @ragnvdnr @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @nejibot @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @astrequa @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @melodyyamino @dudufodd @somberrock @yevenly @lemontum @nghing

POST-SCRIPT. it’s been so long since ive written a househusband fic sooo here you go my lovelies <333 !! enjoy the wholesomeness and cheesiness as always (might make a part two w other househusbands if the people demand so)

LINKS. TWOTHHAU MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST || TAGLIST

diluc.

It was supposed to be a joke for your husband.

You thought it would be great to buy an apron for him before you go home after finding out that it got destroyed, knowing how your husband would definitely need one for his baking classes and whenever he cooks. Out of all the aprons you could’ve chosen though, you just had to pick the one that made you laugh from imagining your lover wearing it.

When you first see a cute pink apron, you just know you have to buy it, giggling to yourself at the image of Diluc wearing it. Of course, you bought another one that’s actually for him and planned on giving it to him the day after he receives your pink apron gift.

Diluc didn’t mind how you were grinning mischievously when you gave him a paper bag that contained something he couldn’t tell until he brought it out. The image of your husband’s soft expression turning to utter confusion and horror will forever remain in your head.

“Is… This for me?” He asks hesitantly.

You nodded, trying to contain your laughter. “Yes.”

He didn’t ask further after that, nodding slowly before putting the apron back to the paper bag, and you thought that was the end of it.

It wasn’t.

The next day after getting ready for the day, you were about to give your husband his actual apron you bought for him until you noticed something different when you entered the kitchen.

No, it wasn’t the fact that your breakfast is a new and different meal like everyday, nor the music that’s playing on the radio, but rather your husband’s current style.

Lo and behold stands your loving husband, an ex-yakuza boss and one of the fiercest men in the land, wearing a cute pink apron that has a cartoon bear with a chef hat on it.

You try not to laugh. “..You’re actually wearing it?”

Diluc stops preparing your meal for a moment, turning his head to look at you. “Does it look… ridiculous?”

You covered your mouth to stop yourself from laughing, clearing your throat. “N-No I was just surprised you’d wear it.”

“Of course since it’s from you.” He responds, proceeding with his task once again.

You decided to hand over the paper bag that has his apron to him. “I was just kidding about that pink apron, this is the one I actually bought for you.” You explain.

He takes one look at the paper bag you’re holding before looking away. “I’ll try it out later. You should eat your breakfast before you’re late again.”

Your eyes widened a bit at his response, surprised that he didn’t instantly change it. It’s as if he wants to keep wearing it.

Not that you’re complaining though, it is quite a sight to see.

By the time you came back home from work after that shenanigan, you thought you’d see your husband wearing the black apron you bought for him, only for your jaws to drop when you saw him still wearing the same pink apron you bought for shits and giggles.

“Did the black apron not fit you?” You asked as Diluc grabs your bag and keeps it somewhere.

Your husband pauses for a moment. “...I forgot to try it on.”

You fight the urge to laugh again. “Really?”

No, actually. Diluc did try the black apron on as soon as he finished cleaning the house away but decided to continue wearing the pink apron. As much as he didn’t want to admit, the pink apron managed to rub on him after wearing it for only half a day.

What stopped him from removing it was the memory of you trying to hold your laughter whilst smiling so wide at the sight of him wearing it, causing him to decide to wear it from now on just so he could see you smile and laugh more.

Not that you’d know of course, he’d rather get teased for wearing this apron than get teased for being such a “big ol’ sweetheart” as you comment about him.

When it comes to this apron, he sees it as a reminder of what made life worth more than he thought: you. So it’s a responsibility to take care of it.

Other than that, the pink apron has also made him less intimidating to other people whenever he wears it outside (either because he forgot or just because he felt like it)! It’s a slight change when people start coming up to you two every now and then whenever you go out.

He made sure to thoroughly clean it whenever he makes a mess sometimes, making sure that no stain has been left ignored and missed. He also made sure he won’t make the same mistake that he did with his previous apron, so he’s very careful with not ripping it with his undeniable strength whenever he puts it on and removes it.

When he finds himself in a situation where he’s required to fight – which is a rare situation, really – he’ll make sure not one single person will lay a hand on him and on the apron. He’ll be disappointed in himself if he gets it destroyed!

Of course, he did not put your money on the black apron to waste. He’ll use it whenever he goes to baking class and whenever his pink apron is in the laundry. Either that, or you use it yourself whenever you cook with Diluc despite its size! It’s quite an endearing sight to see you and Diluc cooking together while wearing the aprons.

Eventually, it’ll be a normal sight to see your husband wearing such a cute apron, even if you sometimes chuckle or grin at it. To Diluc, it’s worth wearing it if it makes you happy, especially if he’s the reason for your cute smile <3

Plus, pink kinda suits his striking red hair as much as he doesn’t want to admit it hehe

xiao.

Xiao is a different story.

For someone like Xiao, no one had ever thought about him wearing something such as a pink apron – not when it seems to be something that someone with a cold and mysterious demeanor that neighbors tend to be intimidated by wouldn’t wear. If it weren’t for you, people might’ve thought he was a criminal who’s staying in a small town in order to hide from the police that’s looking for him.

So when the well-known aloof househusband comes out of your humble home wearing a pink apron with a cheesy text on it one day after a week of moving in, everyone is hella curious and hella shocked.

Is this the same man who everyone was scared of?!

It didn’t help that he looked as if he wasn’t bothered by wearing such a cute garment, as if he’s been wearing it for ages without the neighbors knowing it until now.

The real question is: why and how?

It’s simple really, all you had to do was nothing.

In reality, the apron he’s wearing is something he willingly wore by choice just because of the memories it brought.

As mentioned before in another post, Xiao rarely cooks back when he was still serving his boss and prefers instant foods since it’s faster and easier for him. But now that he’s a full time househusband who absolutely cannot afford to let you eat instant foods everyday, he knows he has to start cooking.

Cooking is no problem for Xiao, it’s just the mess he makes when cooking that he has a problem with.

He really can’t help himself making a mess, even when he makes sure to clean after himself, he always finds himself having stains and marks all over his clothing!

So when he tells you about his frustrations one night while lying down on your lap comfortably, you remember an old garment that you saw from your box while you were unpacking your things after moving in.

The apron was a gift from your friend as a joke, and you didn’t have the heart to throw it away since it would be a waste of money for your friend, hence how it got stuck in the old box for quite a while until your husband came along and needed one.

“I know it’s not something you like since it’s not really your color,” You said with a light laugh as you show him the apron that you managed to find among the boxes that were kept by the storage room, “but you can just use this until I buy a new one for you to use. With this apron, I’m sure you won’t put a mess on your clothes since it’ll fit you!”

“You don’t need to buy another one.” Xiao says as he grabs the pink apron from you without any signs of hesitation. “This is already good enough for me. I just needed something to make sure my clothes are clean when cooking meals, so thank you.”

Your eyes slightly widen in surprise, not expecting your husband to accept your offer so willingly without a complaint. “O-Oh? Alright then.”

And so began the days when you see your husband wearing the pink apron.

It felt like you’re still dreaming when you stumble to the kitchen after waking up and see your husband cooking a liyuean dish, wearing the apron that’s now cleaned and tended to by yours truly. You had to pinch yourself to be completely convinced that you’re in a reality where Xiao, one of the most well-known dangerous members in his organization, is wearing a pink frilly apron that has a big text that says “cook lover!” on it.

It turns out that he liked it a lot since it indeed prevented himself from making a mess on his clothing – besides the ones on his arms, but it’s completely better than having a mess all over him – thanking you once again for handing him the apron.

To be fair, Xiao didn’t really think he’d like it either since he only wanted something that can help him with his little problem, it was only when he decided to try cooking Adeptus' Temptation that he changed his mind.

When he first removed his apron, he was relieved that there wasn’t much of a mess! So he decided that yes, this is worth using everyday.

He takes care of it greatly, making sure that it gets cleaned and kept well. It’s as if it’s his most prized treasure, as you jokingly said. To your amusement, he didn’t have the heart to tell you you’re wrong, because you’re right, it is something that’s valuable to him. After all, he only wore it because it’s you who gave it to him.

Perhaps you didn’t know this, but your husband is always willing to wear anything you give him – like the cute green onesie you gave him that matches yours, the nice bracelet you bought that matches his beautiful amber eyes, the pink apron and so much more that he lost count of it. If you even gave him a chicken mascot, he’ll wear it without question.

Though, this particular apron is quite special for him, because it’s the first thing you’ve ever given him after he started his househusband lifestyle. He never thought he would enjoy being a househusband – let alone becoming one in this life after everything he went through. So this apron is somewhat a reminder of how far he’s gotten in this life and how he’s free to spend the rest of his life with the one he loves most.

It started to grow on him, he’ll admit. Sometimes he forgets to remove it after cooking, finding himself spending the whole day wearing it until he finally looks at himself in the mirror and realizes he hasn't removed it.

The time when he gives up on removing his apron after cooking was all thanks to when you forgot to bring your lunch with you, causing Xiao to run after you not knowing that he still has his apron on. It was only when you pointed out that he realized what he was wearing.

He lets out a sigh. Oh well, he might as well wear it the whole day instead of only when he’s cooking.

As long as Rex Lapis doesn’t see him in it, then he could care less.

Besides, wearing the apron outside made himself look approachable and friendly to most people in the neighborhood – particularly the kids, who all stare at him in awe because of how cool his hair is.

Sometimes, whenever he looks at the apron, he’s reminded of one cherished moment between the two of you whereas you prepare your meals together for the first time since he wore his apron, with you wearing your own apron that matches his as you share hushed laughs and smiles with one another.

He closes his eyes with a small fond smile at the memory.

Oh how he could never forget the taste of your love from the meals the two of you cooked.

scaramouche.

Honestly, getting that guy to wear an apron that has hello kitty designs on it is almost impossible, especially when it’s obvious that he’d rather bury himself than wear it.

Well, it would’ve been completely impossible if he wasn’t currently making tea in your kitchen wearing such a garment, looking unbothered despite hearing your giggles at the sight.

Your imagination came true thanks to timing.

You see, the way your lover works with cooking is that he always has to wear an apron even if he never makes that much of a mess. It’s just something he finds as a required thing to do since he doesn’t want his clothes to be dirty from making meals, so he’s always found wearing his black apron in the kitchen making dishes.

One thing led to another though, said black apron was ripped after an accident that he refuses to tell you, leading him to leave no choice but to buy a new one from the only store in town that sells aprons.

Bad timing for him really, because the store unfortunately ran out of aprons that are his size due to a client that ordered loads of it for baking classes. The man was horrified when he saw that the only aprons that were available and adjustable to his size were pink aprons with hello kitty designs on them.

What made it worse was that the store won’t be able to restock until next month or more, and so he was thinking: should he just wait for a month and not wear an apron until then? Or should he just go buy the pink apron so he can go on with his day peacefully?

He thought about it, and he wanted to wait for another month since pink isn’t really his color…

But he wonders what your reaction would be when you see him in such a garment…

“…I’ll buy that apron then.” He says, plastering his usual fake kind smile to keep up his kind charade, internally grinning to himself at the thought of your shocked face. “It’s not like anything will be different if I wear this one.”

And he’s right about that - if you exclude the fact that you’ve been staring at him as though he has two heads.

When you first came home unaware of the new change, you thought you were in another universe when your husband walks out from the kitchen to greet you with the apron.

Scaramouche knew he made a good decision when he noticed you staring at him for almost the entire night, trying to hold his cackling as he continued to act as if he wasn't wearing something he wouldn’t dare to wear.

“Since when did you have that apron?” You questioned with an amused smile as the two of you ate dinner together.

Your husband innocently looks at you. “What do you mean? This is something I’ve always been wearing?”

“Don’t try to gaslight me again..”

“Hehe, just wanted to check if it still does the trick.”

To tell you the truth, he actually just thought that he could just wear the apron until the apron he wanted was available in the shop. Just like what he said to the seller, nothing would really change from wearing the cute garment, and besides, seeing your reaction of him wearing it for the first time made it all worth it.

What he didn’t expect was how by the time the shop restocks the apron he wanted, he’s still wearing the pink apron.

It’s safe to say that he got used to wearing it. He takes care of it dedicatedly and dare say even more than how he took care of his old one. He makes sure to get it carefully cleaned after times when he gets a bit messier than normal. Sometimes he even unintentionally makes his outfits match with it, something you didn’t have the heart to tell him about since you thought it was cute of him.

Of course, unlike both Xiao and Diluc, Scaramouche refuses to come out of your beloved home wearing the garment. He doesn’t forget easily nor does he not mind others seeing him wearing it. The one time when he actually wore it was when you won a bet and made him wear it outside, causing him to reluctantly do it with his usual kind facade as he plans his revenge on you.

To be honest, the real reason why Scaramouche is still wearing the apron is because of its pockets.

With Scaramouch’s old apron, there was only one pocket that’s enough to fit only one item. The pink apron on the other hand has three big pockets that a few items can fit in – particularly his hand-sized recipe notebook, kitchen tools, and spices that he received from a dear friend of his who lives in Sumeru.

So yeah, it really is worth it getting the pink apron rather than waiting.

As you watch your husband making tea for the two of you on a chill weekend, you decided to bring up something about the apron.

“Hehe, remember when you were planning to keep the apron away back then as soon as the store restocked the black ones?” You said teasingly.

Scaramouche finally brings your drinks towards your table. “It would’ve been rotting in our attic by now but,” as he places the drinks in front of you, he places his hands on his hips with a proud smile, as though he’s showing off his outfit, “I realized it does fit my color after all.”

[evangelineshifts]

(This has been sitting in my drafts since feb)

I just had the weirdest shifting (?) dream ever???

Warning: sorry if this is confusing I’m literally losing my mind trying to process this. It probably won’t convey as dire as I’m making it out to be but I’m very disoriented still

Basically the dream started out normal (which for me isn’t normal at all) I was in my living room with my family when all of a sudden my front door slammed open and in comes my older brother- my older brother who DIED SIX YEARS AGO. I did have it in mind to manifest him being alive again but I was gobsmacked. He comes in and everyone acts normal as if he’d never left and I audibly went “oh my god” in the most horrified voice ever and they all looked at me and I ran upstairs to my room (which also hasn’t been my room up there in years) and went to grab my phone which was still like modern to these times. My Lock Screen was different and stuff but like I could read everything on the screen. Which is weird cause in dreams you shouldn’t be able to do that. Everything was clear I read the date it said it was Wednesday, December 8. I fuckin lost it I was going insane. I was like crying cause I was overwhelmed and I went to google and I searched up what year it was (idk why I didn’t just go to calendar but I was distressed). It said it was 2016 which I thought was a bit weird cause I didn’t manifest I wanted to go back to 2016 I wanted to go back to 2021 when I was 15 but I didn’t complain cause my brother was back. (Woke up and checked if Dec 8 was on a Wednesday in 2016. It wasn’t but it was in 2021 😭😭)

So I went to snap chat and checked my friends list and there where tons of new people that I had sent pics too but I was looking for one in particular- the girl I script to be my bsf in every DR that I wanted to manifest was real here and lo and behold, there’s her name “Savanna 😊🙈” i was 🫨 so anyways the dream goes on and looking back at it, it didn’t make as much sense as I thought it did at the time but I was sort of confused then too cause things weren’t how I wanted only half like it. So I told someone (who I think was meant to be savanna but looked nothing like her) about what was going on and I told her “I haven’t always been here” and she went “yes you have 🤨” and I went “no like this current awareness, this consciousness hasn’t always been here” and she just looked at me blankly and went “ok” and kept walking while I was loosing my shit. I saw friends from my dr that I wanted to manifest into this reality and my bf from my better cr dr and he called me over to him and he literally just held me and looked at me with the biggest smile but then I realized he didn’t look like my boy. Like his hair was lighter and his eyes were brown not bluish green like usual so I like decided to go away and look for other people. I found Jules (Leblanc) and she’s my best friend in a ton of my drs and ran over to her like practically sobbing cause I was so confused cause everything seemed clear and yet not at the same time and it feel like my brain was exploding and she just hugged me and listened as I babbled on about how I just woke up in the wrong year and my dead brother was suddenly alive and nothing was exactly how I wanted it yet it was close???? I was just so confused and overwhelmed and everyone was really supportive and trying to comfort me as I was literally losing my mind but I could visibly see the confusion on their faces which made me more distressed cause I didn’t understand. And then after awhile the dream got. all weird again. If anyone and I mean ANYONE has any ideas of what the fuck this could’ve been I’d be open to theories cause a whole month later and I still got nothing 😊

[dailydemonspotlight]

Hua Po - Day 79

Race: Jirae

Arcana: Magician

Alignment: Neutral

July 25th, 2024

The ghosts of the recently deceased are a common topic in many world religions, and something that grows increasingly curious with time as we still fail to understand the world beyond. Sometimes, though, there are multiple different spirits for different methods of death, ghosts to represent different places or methods of passing on. Sometimes, though, a spirit may form from the result of several people dying at once as well, so what if several people die of the same method? Three similar people, each a young girl, each hanging from a tree... that is what forms today's Demon of the Day, and a personal favorite demon of mine, Hua Po, the Floral Spirit.

Today's subject is rather dark, as it touches on concepts of suicide, and it also comes from a very strange source- a set of ghost stories known as "What the Master Would Not Discuss," specifically from Volume 24, under a story titled, well, Hua Po. Now, this book is incredibly hard to track down in my experience, given that it typically goes for, at cheapest, around 370 dollars, but I eventually, finally got the story after about an hour of searching around, all through google translating an obscure wiki page from Chinese. I'm as disappointed as you are, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

While the story has been mangled by the translation, in effect, the story of Hua Po has to do with a scholar from Wuyuan named Xie who wakes up one day to hear some unusually loud chirping of birds coming from the forest. Groggily, the man pulled himself up from his bed and wandered to investigate the noise, but at its source wasn't a congregation of parrots- instead, it was a young, pale woman who was only 5 inches tall, unable to speak and instead chirping much like a bird. Confused, the man picked her up and took her back to his place, where he put her in a bird cage, keeping her fed while likely being incredibly confused.

His explanation would come, however, as a person named Hong Xiaolian would hear about the situation and arrived at Xie's place of residence, bearing unfortunate news. To quote the text, (which, bear with me, is in chinese,)

「此名花魄，凡樹經三次人縊死者，其冤苦之氣結成此物，沃以水，猶可活也。」

And, to roughly paraphrase and translate what Hong Xiaolian is saying,

"This is Hua Po. [A nearby] tree has been used to hang three times by people, and the lingering resentment and bitterness formed this thing. If [the tree] is fertilized with water, you can save it."

Confounded, the man would try to water the tree, and lo and behold, it'd work- as he'd fertilize the tree, Hua Po would suddenly disappear, and as crowds of people would watch, a great bird would swoop down and carry away the small spirit god knows where. A relatively short and sweet story, though one that leads to a lot of questions- why did so many people take their own lives through that one tree, per instance, and why could she only speak in chirps? Explanations are scarce, given that the book this story originates from is primarily one based upon the supernatural, but what we do know for certain is this.

Hua Po is a small tree spirit that forms after three people take their own lives by hanging off of the same tree, and their souls may be released by watering said tree. While still somewhat confusing, this explanation is as good as any, really. Even though Hua Po originates from a ghost story, it's still a very interesting creature- and, well, I have to ask, why did they pick it of all the ghosts in the book?

Past that, its design in SMT is weird, given the knowledge we have about the spirit. Her butterfly wings and affinity for fire are completely different from the floral tree spirit described, to the point I have to wonder if there was some sort of translation mistake much like what happened with Porewit. I might be overthinking things, of course, but that's just what comes to mind. Overall, though, her design is incredibly charming, even if it doesn't fit like a glove- at least I find her design to be cute, and she's one of my favorite demons in the series for good reason.

[sapphyreopal5]

hey there

just wanted to add to your last post, there was also a few pictures going around with him in those tityrestaurants as you mentioned lol, it's also called Hooters.

hevwas seen there a lot and what's funny about it is, it was right after he said he wanted to spend more time with his wife and kids, and how happy he was with his work because he gets to be with them, and then boom, picture after picture of him with those girls.

i don't think he stopped going there, but I think he stopped taking pictures with the girls, because after that gen started to squeeze her hand on his neck more and her posts became moe cringey and vulgar and she started to go to cons with him.

he's trying to break free but she won't let him. 💰💲

Oh my goodness Anon thank you for the ask! I had this funny feeling this wasn't exactly his first rodeo at places like this. After your bless-ed ask came through not too long ago, I decided to go look up on Google "Jared Padalecki Hooters". Lo and behold, below we have an Instagram post where it seems he ASKED for an autograph from this girl here, Nadira who was Miss April in 2021 for Hooters. A signed calendar for April 2021. Below is the post for everyone's viewing pleasure. "To Jared ♥♥ Thanks for coming in! Keep being Awesome :) XOXO, ♥ Nadira ♥" is what the autograph reads. Note the date for this post below says May 16, 2021. This Hooters is located outside of Dallas, Texas and is over 3 hours and 15 minutes from his home in Austin, Texas. It doesn't seem like he was there that time for a Creation convention because funnily enough, the one that was scheduled for March 2021 was rescheduled for January 2022.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by N A D I R A (@nadeeruh)

I also found this old photo seen below on Pinterest which led me to this site here. It seems Jared has always had a thing for Hooters and other similar types of places, even brought Gen to a location based on this photo as someone commented when they were seemingly first dating "Natalie88 I'll be happy if it turns out that Jared and Gen are really dating!" Well Gen, you should've seen it coming that Jared is a boobs man and he likes them "breastaurants". Why Gen would get so uptight about them knowing this is how he was like from the get go, man don't get me started on this kind of illogical thinking.

I will say this Anon, I am very happy you mentioned this to me, not gonna lie :D Funny story, when I was first dating my ex who is my son's dad years ago and mentioned I believe did black magic on me also once upon a time, he decided to tag me along to a strip club with a few friends of his. While one of them was on the phone with his girlfriend at the time and lied about being "at a bar" (more like a strip club "bar" ha ha). I swear the drinks at strip clubs are so overpriced it's ridiculous but hey, they do serve breakfast super early in the morning! So yeah, long story short I was super drunk apparently and my ex decided to pay $50 or $60 for me to get a dance from one of the strippers. The girl who gave me the lap dance actually did let me touch her and straight up put MY hands on her boobs. I at one point said to her "am I supposed to do this?" with such a "confused yet happy" look on my face as my ex put it (and was smiling the whole time I got the dance). She told me that they don't allow guys to touch them but admitted they give the ladies better lap dances because "we don't have to worry about them getting horny". She also told my ex at the time "your girlfriend is so cute", must've been because I asked if I'm supposed to do this like a moron when she clearly put my hands on her boobs and I also had them on her hips and then waist at one point.

As for Gen not letting Jared go, I do believe her time with black magic is coming to an end. I think Jared and her are exhausting all measures available to make their marriage stay alive. It seems even though he made other trips to Hooters and stopped photographing himself at these places, it seems he has started back up again in recent months. Hmm, thank you so much for coming by Anon with this tip.

[xatsperesso]

That's funny, students call some of their teachers by their first name (Kalego Sensei and not Naberius Sensei, also Momonoki-Sensei and not Morax Sensei, Orias-Sensei and not Oswell Sensei, Robin Sensei and not Bars Sensei) while calling other by their family name (Balam-Sensei and not Shinchirou sensei, Marbas-Sensei and not March-Sensei).

And the teachers call each other by their first name (Eito-Sensei for Ifrit/ Ipos-Sensei and not Ichou-Sensei)

But I wonder, For Dantalion, his first name is Dali, right? Since in Balam introduction chapter, we see Dantalion saying "call me Dali" so it means that he authorizes familiarity.

Murmur, it's his family name or first name? Because nobody seems to use Tsumoru with him.

And for Buer....his first name is Buer or Blushenko?

Oh i didn't notice this! But i could look at it from two perspectives

Either from the author's perspective, which is to use the names that are easier to pronounce or to avoid confusion for the reader

Like most the names used in the manga are easier to pronounce and easier to remember than the other name

The only exception to this is momonoki-sensei, who shares a last name with her grandfather so that's why her first name os being used instead of her last name

And dali whom im not sure i saw anyone calling him in the manga and Google just calls him dali. Not even sensei he's just dali.

In the 'infiltrating teach dorms' chapter iruma wrote his name as dali so they probably call him dali-sensei (i also found a phis-sensei. Who dat?)

Or I can look at it from the student's perspective. that the students are comfortable enough with some teachers that they use their first names and not that closr to other teachers so they use their last name

And lo and behold, the teachers whose last names are used are Balam sensei, the one rumoured to be experimenting on students, and marbas sensei, the one who teaches turtor methods

BUT that means that all babyl students like kalego sensei enough to call him by his first name XD like man where's your reputation

The question is, what did murmur+buer do that the students don't use their first names?

Also i think it's cute that the teachers are comfy enough with each other they call each other by their first name. Like students calling them by their first names could be just to indulge them+make them feel safe at school.

But the teachers, who are adults that know how to make boundaries calling each other by their first name shows intimacy and trust between them.

Not gonna lie i like this perspective better

[fraternum-momentum]

hi! may i ask what brush do u use and what app do u use for drawings? hehe thank you!

ok so ive got a pretty funny story about this actually, so i used to use Fire Alpaca when i first started drawing digitally, which is p good for beginners since its ui is super simple and it has an animation feature in it (thats where i animated this gem.) And then, i used Medibang for the longest time, until one day it just stopped working for some reason when i updated it????? So i was devastated, i thought i would have to go back to Fire Alpaca again and see my art journey burn in flames, but lo and behold, i saw this program called Jump Paint which is basically Medibang but in a different color scheme and manga characters when you open the program, cause its sponsored by Jump???? like the manga stuff. I mean, im not complaining. It works exactly the same. It's basically just a reskin with Jump's name slapped onto it, which is so confusing to me but more power to them ig idfk.

And i alternate between these brushes a lot.

They're all free programs btw so if ur broke like me, it's perfect👍

Side note: i also used to draw with my finger from like 2016-2018? (im looking at google photos rn and jesus christ what the fuck are these drawings.) And uh I used IbisPaint, in case you use a cellular device or a tablet or something.

Side Side note: I was thinking of getting Clip Studio Paint, and i was waiting for a sale, but that whole fiasco about making it a subscription happened, so I'll probably just stick to Jump Paint for now.

tldr: Medibang broke so i use Jump Paint instead.

[k4t-11]

HI SYSTEMS AND PLURALS. OK SO THIS WILL SOUND SO STUPID AND DELUSIONAL BUT I NEED ADVICE OR INFO OR WHATEVER BECAUSE THIS IS A BIT. ERMM. ODD.

lotsa text under cut ⬇️

OKKKK SO ERMM.

theres like. a voice in my head which i cannot control. it never talks. i can barely feel its presence. 98% of the time it's quiet. BUT. ITS LIKE. OMNISCIENT.

when i ask myself a question in my head, itll occassionally just whisper an answer and if i google it ITLL COME OUT CORRECT.????

ok have an example:

i have these like weird bumps on my thigh that dont itch or anything and theyve been there for a long time. and i asked myself in my head "ey what are these man."

and my head said quietly, "skin lesions."

KEEP IN MIND I DID NOT KNOW WHAT SKIN LESIONS WERE AT THE TIME.

and when i searched it up the FIRST TYPE OF SKIN LESIONS WAS LITERALLY WHAT IT WAS.

(keratosis pilaris if you're curious)

and i was super confused because i didnt even know what skin lesions were how did i come to that conclusion. and i did not voluntarily think that. hueh

anotha example:

there's a tree outside my house. i was just wondering, "hmm what kinda tree is this"

it replied, "peepal."

I DID NOT KNOW WHAT A PEEPAL TREE LOOKED LIKE?????

lo ans behold when i searched it up it was EXACT MATCH. SAME LEAF SHAPE N ALL.

i was confused again because i did not know what peepals looked like how did i get that answer and from where.

ermmm i dont know what this is. am i a system. is this an alter that just never fronts and barely speaks?

HELP.......

or am i just mentally ill 😎😎😎

or am i dumb and over-analyzing.

btw just for more info i do not know what this voice looks like or its identity or anything. its just.... empty. void. IM SO CONFUSED ❔❔❔

[revvywevvy]

I finished redesigning my Mario S/I!!!! She's gonna go by Basil now! ^^

[Her full name being Basil Chervil Clemens. Only Peach is allowed to call her Chervil though-]

More info abt how she gets to the Mushroom Kingdom under the cut plus a sketchy comic <3

Okay so- after seeing stuff abt the Mario Movie and how they're going the isekai route, I thought it'd be a fun route for Basil! So, Basil's a bit of a paranoid loner who lives alone, making a living off of graphic design for companies, as well as commissions for fun on the side. She's just chilling at home one day, drawing, when out of nowhere a loud commotion occurs.

She goes to investigate it, and upon entering the bathroom, her jaw just fuckin drops.

Lo and behold, there's a whole-ass warp pipe in her bathroom. Thing demolished her toilet and water pipes and has her left completely confused, mind-boggled, angry and extremely anxious. In a panic she runs to her phone book, flipping through it trying to find a number for emergency plumbing services while also searching on google for advice. Eventually she finds a number for 'Mario Bros. Plumbing Service' and seeing as they are listed as sometimes being available for emergency appointments, she takes a shot and calls them.

Upon connecting with one of the brothers, Luigi, she explains her situation in a panic, rambling and almost in tears because 'holy fuck the bathroom's completely ruined and I have no idea what to do help-'. Luigi is sympathetic to her situation and gets his brother, and they go to her home to check out the damages. Basil scrambles to get dressed and be presentable for the company, all the while having a bit of a breakdown over this giant pipe in her flooding bathroom. She lives in an apartment complex in New Donk City, on the bottom floor, so luckily she's the only one effected by the warp pipe's presence.

When Mario and Luigi get there, they're let in by a frazzled Basil, who's fiddling with her tablet pen. She leads them to the bathroom, and they're both baffled and confused at the presence of this pipe, as well as the destruction caused by it. Neither brother knows where that pipe could have come from, or what it was for. All they knew was it was causing major problems for her plumbing and water. They got to work inspecting the damages, asking for Basil's input every once in a while since, well, it was her bathroom after all. She knew the layout best. At one point, Basil put her pen back in the pocket of her top, before approaching the pipe as the brothers inspected it.

She asked a few questions about their theories about the pipes, but the three of them hadn't a clue what this pipe's purpose could've been. Curiously she propped herself up on some of the rubble of her bathroom, peeking into the pipe. She waved the brothers over, pointing out how spick and span it was... it was spotless! Shiny, spotless, no imperfections in sight. They were all confused, but that confusion quickly turned to panic and terror when Basil leaned just a little too far forward. Suddenly, the pipe sucked her arm in. She shrieked, horrified, but before she could further react, the pipe pulled her entire body into it. Mario and Luigi freaked out as well. Mario was quick to grab hold of Basil's ankle before she was fully taken by it, and Luigi held onto Mario for dear life, trying to keep him steady so they could try to get her out safely. It was for nothing, though, because not only was Basil sucked into the pipe; but Mario and Luigi were yanked inside of it as well!

After what felt like forever of them all screaming in panic whilst being warped through the green pipe, they were finally spat out on the other side. The brothers helped Basil up, and they all looked around. They had no idea where they were, and they were all a panicked mess. Well, okay, just Basil and Luigi. Mario seemed a bit more composed, at least. He began to investigate the place, Luigi and Basil quickly following behind him lest they be left behind. They would soon discover what strange new land was upon them now: The Mushroom Kingdom. At first they just wanted to try and get home. Instead, an adventure would await them, hindering their ability to get home. There were much more important things that would happen soon.

One thing after another happened, and before they knew it, Luigi was kidnapped by some giant beast of a man, who called himself Bowser, King of the Koopas. He initially attempted to take the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach, but she fought him off. Bowser opted to take Luigi instead, planning to blackmail the Princess with his safety. The Power Stars would be handed over, or the green man would get it.

At that point, one thing was certain: he needed to be stopped. So, Mario, Basil, Princess Peach, and one of the many Toads from the kingdom who'd offered to assist, all departed to rescue Luigi from King Bowser.

Quickly in, Basil realized her tablet pen was still in her pocket. Upon pulling it out, she realized that the warp had changed it. It had become some sort of wand. She could draw on the air with it, creating strokes with different textures, elements, and powers. All of which could be effected by a number of Power-Ups scattered about the Mushroom Kingdom. Basil didn't see herself as the heroic type, but with this new realization, she decided to give herself a chance. She'd use this newfound ability to help Mario, Peach, and Toad. All four of them together would save Luigi, they were certain of it.

[klapollo]

i was so confused as to why swell entertainment, a very smart person who makes videos disillusioning people about internet scams, had a blue check, and lo and behold if i had just google searched a video from her about blue checks i'd have my answer. funny how that works

[jarvis-cockhead]

roughly 6 years ago i went to a gallery to see an exhibition of old british childrens TV- bagpuss, the clangers, etc. at the same time there was an exhibition of black and white photographs from the 70s of every day things which the photographer correctly predicted would eventually become interesting. in here i came across a photo of a girl standing next to a door in a plain looking room and 14 year old me decided she was the most incredible person id ever seen and i instantly fell in love for the very first time. fast forward to now and i recalled this one evening while procrastinating an assignment at 4am and went hunting through my google photos for the aforementioned incredible girl image because i know id downloaded it and lo and behold it was there. and from there i started scrolling upwards past memories and memories (and horribly cringe stuff id downloaded from tumblr at the time but we ignore that). and there i saw, march 2016, an inexplicable photo of an unopened rare sylvanian family set- the fisher cat family- which id taken on my parents bed. instant confusion. i loved sylvanian families growing up and id recently got back into them, so the moment it was no longer an ungodly hour of the night (id ended up staying up until around 9am) i texted my mum asking if she knew anything. she said she didnt know but shed have a look after she finished her breakfast, that she doesnt remember giving them away, but no promises. and then i heard nothing. i came home from uni that weekend and asked my dad if theyd been found and his non response was immediately suspicious- so they had, then. i was told id ruined the surprise- i thought oh, my mum was waiting to show me herself. oh well, ill just tell her what happened. i tell her and it turns out the surprise in question was 14 years old. the fisher cats were released in the UK in 2009, and they were bought for a christmas or birthday but i never got them because by then id stopped playing with sylvanians, so they were put away to be sold. my mum never sold them- and instead decided to save them for when theyd be appreciated again. shes known about them this whole time. now im 20, im rediscovering my love for sylvanians, and her opportunity has come. shes going away for the entirety of may- my birthday month- and decided theyd be a really nice surprise to leave me. ... that would be if id not, by chance, stumbled across a photo of them from 7 years ago. i cant bring myself to blame the girl in the photo- i have no idea who she is, and shes certainly not to blame for my horrible procrastination. but it did lead me to disappointing my poor mother and crushing her excitement. not that i had any way of knowing, of course. ill see them in a few months and ill be thankful of them while shes away. ill miss her a lot. mum, im sorry.

[time-traveling-fetus]

losing my mind at 5 am trying to figure out how to use one language (bash) to invoke a second language (python) and use its output as the input for a third language (C). Google does NOT understand this query. It barely understands that C is the name of a language. what idiot decided to name the most prominent programming language in the world "C"

after a literal hour of searching and pondering, I decided on a whim to check my one and only note i took for this class (the class is like 10% lecture and 90% work), and lo and behold there was the answer plain as day. Fuck. I didn't even understand what I was writing down at the time. I was disoriented, confused, and focused on something else so barely comprehended that he wanted us to know that this information was really important. So I just wrote down what he put on the board along with "yes yes use this" and "no bad do not use" pointing to different gibberish. Thank you past me, you clueless bastard

[brianbrianbrain]

well i was bored today, so i went through some Google security stuff. clicked on the frankly very gimmicky sounding "scan for your info on the dark web!" for the meme. 9 results! i click and am so confused. i have literally never used this password in my life. every single "breach" is that same alien password. lo and behold, the oldest result is a Neopets breach. they think i was born four decades before i actually was because that's what i told Neopets. that's fucking hilarious. some random hacker knows my Neopets login, which i didn't even remember existed. anyways i suppose that's my excitement for the day

[lord-multifandom-murder]

Zatz x (kind of emotionless)reader headcanon!

(I like this GIF)

A/N: First time, please be kind, I hope it's not embarrassing (this is so long oh my god) and disclaimer, I have no idea how to speak Spanish forgive me if it sucks I used google translate and I MAY edit it from time to time but enjoy!

Warnings: Nahhh

---------

Let's be honest you were a little emotionless

You barely smiled and even if you did it was kind of hard to see and didn't express your feelings a lot

And let's say you joined Maya and the Three after meeting and helping them out of a tight spot

And they thought hey the more people the merrier (a plus because you were a good fighter)

Rico has tried countless times to make you break

Picchu too and Chimi quite a few times

Maya learned not to bother you

And then, Zatz shows up and at first he doesn't think much of you, while you, he (you've heard Maya complain about him too many times)

And let's say that he travelled with Maya a lil longer

You're a pretty skilled fighter and you could kickass so he's impressed the more he watches you (Maya is a good fighter too though, that baddie)

And every night when everyone gathers around the fire for dinner he notices you don't smile a lot

You do talk, and you make jokes but you don't really react??

Noticing that your friends always try to direct jokes at you to gauge a reaction and failing

And that's when he really becomes intrigued

And then he's tryna engage in one-on-one conversations with you

You're getting confused to why he's suddenly seeking you out more often than usual

You're not complaining though, and you've gotten rather fond of him

And even he gets into the "Trying to make you laugh" game with the rest

He was just randomly talking to you once and you felt jittery and fluttery so when he made a joke you unintentionally let out a small laugh

And he's just like: :D

He wished it was a little louder but you know, baby steps

Then one day, he's walking around the place you set up camp, helping around and he randomly trips on a log

He lets out a hilarious yell and falls face first

PURELY UNINTENTIONAL and everyone starts laughing and lo and behold

You laugh loudly in the first time in what they considered ever

And everyone is just 👁👄👁

You don't even know why you're laughing, but here you are

And ZATZ

Even though he's on the floor

HE'S MAKING THAT LIL SMILE HE MAKES

And the whole night he teases you about breaking out in laughter

"You're not as tough as you seem huh, cara de piedra?"

"Cállate Zatz, I am!"

"Oh come, you have a nice laugh!"

And while your friends just watch the encounter YOU KNOW THEY KNOW

You started to be a little more expressive and smiled a lot more

And while Rico was kinda upset about the fact that he lost the game, Zatz couldn't care less and was a little too hyperfocused on you when you laughed

He hurt himself too many times when he's supposed to be doing something else

You noticed (I mean how could you not, with the accidents he got himself into while you were in his range of sight) and you'd always have a little smile on your face

Then one night, Zatz taps your shoulder asking if he could speak to you in private

You were confused but followed him anyway

He was acting strangely and you were getting suspicious and you started thinking it was some sort of trick

BUT

"Zatz, what's going on?"

"Well...."

"?"

"This is very hard to say..."

"I....am interested in you?"

He actually says it like a question and he was so painfully awkward about it and you're very surprised

But he hurriedly promises not to bother you if you don't return his feelings because he doesn't want it to be awkward and is happy staying friends if you wished to

But you start smiling and you tell him that you like him too

And he was initially shocked, and then he was suddenly talking your ear off as you return to your friends (which is rather unlike him because he wasn't the most talkative person in the group since Rico came along)

And everyone is cheering and teasing you

Then the both of you are just talking amongst yourselves through the night while the rest went to sleep, laughing and joking

Anyways

We love Zatz

Stan bat boy

[rosaacicularis]

Vigilante au you say👀👀👀 tell me more bestie are they both vigilantes, is only one of them a vigilante and they play a game of cat and mouse, could they possibly be rival vigilantes :0c I just gotta know

ok, forgive me for how long this is…. i’m just copying the planning from my notes from a month ago <3 but i feel like it explains it better than i could <3

grian is a really really good hero. everyone, heroes and civilians alike, absolutely adores him. he’s amazing at what he does, but he’s also a bit of a prankster so the kids love him. however, he starts to feel like he’s being watched by something. he notices things in the shadows, eyes places where they shouldn’t be. after a fight with a someone, grian finds the rift under the city. afterwards, he starts getting stronger, more durable, angrier, thirstier for blood, more maniacal.

after an explosion that nearly kills three people, grian becomes a villain. he’s proud of the blood on his hands, the eyes encourage him. the heroes can’t seem to stop him, with his increased speed and strength and the way he knows, sees, watches. he gets shot during a fight, and then when he’s sure he’s going to die, he wakes up in an infinity room.

the watchers talk to him and tell him he was supposed to be one of them, that there’s on two options: to watch or to be watched. grian needs to make a choice. he wakes up and his wound had been almost completely healed. majorly disoriented, scared, and not listing for any more blood, he goes to the only place he knows could be safe: to mumbo and scar.

he tells them everything he can. they help him retrace his steps and they end up at the rift. the three of them sneak up to it, it doesn’t affect mumbo or scar but it makes grian’s head dizzy with power. grian passes out from the intensity of it all. mumbo and scar freak out because they don’t know what to do.

grains hand (in which he has been hiding this whole time) falls limp and mumbo and scar can see the outline of an eye and the pupil is looking around. they freak out even more and they’re whisper yelling at each other because they don’t want to get caught in a government facility with a known fugitive. employees start waking in so they drag grain into a bathroom. being away from the rift lessons the power it has in grian so he starts to wake up and immediately pukes into the toilet. mumbo and scar are just grateful they don’t have to clean it up.

they ask grian what happened and grian says he doesn’t know but he has an inkling. and they ender-pearl out so they can actually talk about it and grian tells them he think the rift is giving him powers, that it’s probably connected to the watchers.

by talking about it grian accidentally summons a meeting with them. they tell him he needs to close the rift. they have a tiny little spat where grian gets angry and the infinity rooms starts to crack. then grian asks them how to close the rift in exchange for answers.

they tell him he already knows. grian breaks down crying because he doesn’t and he’s frustrated and confused and he just wants answers. they tell him the entity will guide his way, which is the vaguest thing grian has ever heard but he digresses.

he wakes up on the sofa in his and scar’s apartment with a start. mumbo and scar scold him for passing out twice within the span of like two hours, but grian’s not listening. he’s trying to figure out who (or what) the entity is and why it might be the key to closing the rift. he pulls out his phone and googles it and lo and behold, a big rock with legs spontaneously appeared when the rift opened. grian interrupts them and tells them that he has to go to the entity and mumbo and scar insist on going with lest grian pass out again.

so they have a little roadtrip and it’s the comfort in the hurt/comfort tag and it’s the fluff in the fluff and angst tag and it’s the only thing they get. they arrive at the entity and sneak in. grian asks what to do under his breath, not loud enough for mumbo or scar to hear, and the entity talks to him.

scar and mumbo didn’t hear anything. the entity explains that only grian can hear him because they are both made of the rift. the entity tells him that he: one, made the rift by interfering with the mortal realm. two, made the entity. three, has two options for closing rift lest it continue to corrupt him and then others eventually and wreak havoc and bring on the apocalypse.

the two options are to permanently leave the watchers, abandon the power that he unknowingly siphons and forget his past lives, forget everyone he knew and loved or to go back to the watchers fully, never again to interfere, never again see the people he loved but remember them and watch them as they live and die then live again.

the entity tells him that there is not much time until grian will be forced to make the decision. they go back home and the ride is a bit more somber but they turn on the radio and mumbo rewires it to play a movie and scar is telling hushed stories of myths and legends. grian is soaking it all up, as if it’s the last time he gets to, it might be.

when they get back to mumbo and scar’s apartment, they all settle into the couch and watch some tv and during a quiet lull of the show. grian asks for their advice, and asks if he’s being selfish. mumbo and scar comfort him and tell him that they’ll support whatever decision he makes.

grian is forced to ponder it for a few days. he can’t work to get his mind off of it because he’s a fugitive and any hobbyish activity he does during the day only gives him more opportunity to dread it. he doesn’t want to lose the memories of all the past lives, which prove that his friends chose him just as much as he chose them. he doesn’t want to lose the memories of flowers in fields and waterfalls and dragons.

he also doesn’t want to lose the chance to make more memories, make better memories, make memories that feel so surreally familiar like it must’ve already happened. he wants to stay a little more than he wants to leave, he wants to experience vividly, not watch from the sidelines but he can’t shake the feeling he’s being selfish, he’s wanting more than he’s giving back.

so he forces himself to tell the watchers he’ll join them, to close the riff and watch over humanity. grian looks down at the palms of his hands, and tells the watchers he’s ready to close the rift and he’s in the inifinity room before he can even blink. because the watchers have watched and watched, they know grian’s answer before he says it.

they tell him that they are sad to see him go, but they understand his decision, understand the weight of the ultimatum left upon his shoulders. grian’s confused because that wasn’t the decision he made, he was going to leave. the watchers tell him, that it was the choice he made, in his heart.

grian’s shocked still for a moment, but let’s them continue. they explain what will happen, the eyes will disappear, the wings will stay, the rift will close, and any memory of any past life will be stripped away. grian’s heart aches at the thought because he only just started to remember them all.

he can feel the feeling of eyes on the back of his head fall away. the pressure to act, to perform, to be watched lifts and grian is free, but when he wakes up, he remembers. the entity’s voice echoes in his head even from miles away. it was a gift, from the watchers, for his bravery, for his sacrifice (and almost to quiet to hear even in his own head, for his creation of the entity that kept the watchers company).

grian nearly sobs with relief as every memory he’s had of his friends floods through him like a title wave of nostalgia aching to be known, held, cherished. news sites report that the rift and the entity have disappeared.

yet, while grian is free and relieved and happy, he’s also hopelessly lost with what he’s going to do now. he’s a fugitive, a murderer, a villain. he can never be a hero again, not even if he was forgiven, not when the public has seen what he’s done. a part of him doesn’t want to with how quickly he was brushed aside and ridiculed after his mishaps.

mumbo and scar come home to him asleep on the couch with tear stained cheeks. they nudge him awake and ask him what’s wrong and he tells them everything that happened. they tell him not to worry, that he should just get some rest and that it would all be okay. grian listens, because mainly he has no other choice.

mumbo and scar explain to him that after grian left, some things in the hero organization started to feel a little off. little things that they noticed but didn’t pay that much mind to. scar and mumbo tell grian that they’ve quit, and are going to become vigilantes, he joins them.

grian thanks the watchers for letting him keep his memories, so he can file away his friends’ smiles with the rest of them. he knows they’re watching, he knows they’ve heard.

[animeomegas]

Omg Mammon would be absolute chaos during birth holy fuc

Him just beginning to ramble random things but like srsly loud and then he starts questioning if it's supposed to hurt like this and then he starts panicking and won't stop grabbing for things to hold on to but it's ok because he's lowkey adorable ❤️

Mammon absolutely brings the Chaos™ with him while giving birth.

For some reason, he completely neglected googling or asking anyone about anything, so he's so confused and vaguely panicked about everything, because what is happening? Is that supposed to happen? There's no way it's supposed to hurt this much, right?

He screeches about how amazing the Great Mammon's pain tolerance is while sweating and screaming... He disturbs everyone and convinces no one.

Mammon is very, very grabby during labour. He wants his alpha within grabbing distance at all times. Luckily, demons have quite a fast birthing process, so it's likely that his alpha can stay with him the entire time.

"You... You can't j-just go getting up and leaving, alpha... What if something happened? Use y-your head next time, sheesh."

"Mammon, baby, I'm not about to wet myself on the hospital floor because you want me to hold your hand."

"Tch," Mammon scoffs, blushing. "I didn't say I wanted you to hold my hand, I just need you here because... er... you might get lost? Then you would miss the birth! I was doing it for you!"

You roll your eyes but say nothing, simply grabbing his hand and squeezing it. Lo and behold, he never pulls his hand away.

He's cute tho, you're right.