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ramblingdisaster73 · 1 year

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4x06 Thoughts & Feelings (there will be both positive & negative opinions here – so read below the cut at your own risk.) As usual I tag everything with 911 lone star spoilers until the next episode airs.

At least it wasn’t another gender reveal party – for the pink chalky stuff

Sorry – but – Owen you are the one that told them to go – so if it was a real life situation – their deaths would be on you – not on them – they were following your orders

So, he is allowed to use humor to deal with shit, but no one else is – got it.

You did overreact – you have a SHIT TON more knowledge than they do – check your own narcissistic ass – take responsibility for once instead of lashing out.

I do understand why he is acting like he is – that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Can Owen just become a Fire Marshall – then we can get Captain Ryder full time? I really think that Arson investigator would be perfect for him – but there is a lot more opportunity (imo) for the fire marshall than arson investigation.

Seriously though – why introduce a white supremacist Nazi group – an actual real threat in Texas & the US at the moment – then make them the VICTIMS. What.the.actual.FUCK.

Sorry – if Tim wanted the FBI chick’s death to make us feel something – this was a HUGE miss for me – that is what I was hoping for since I saw the still of Owen carrying her out.

SIDENOTE – I do like Amanda Schull in Center Stage – I love that movie so much

I guess he isn’t the bad guy – BUT – I don’t really care

Sorry, but I don’t feel bad for the Nazis.

I wonder if Owen actually saved Red’s life by coming in before the FBI raid – it seems like the ones that died were the ones closer to the bar/farther back in the screen area – where Red came from to talk to Owen.

2nd adversary of Owen’s to get severe burns in an explosion

The text spoof thing – seems to smart for the kid

The FBI is so single minded in their pursuits of criminals

Sorry, but the painted ambulance was a huge giveaway that the bomb threat at the capitol would really be outside

At least they found the bus & dead hiker

I really didn’t think that the mikey kid was smart enough to get Andy to do all the provable work.

I did say that the kid would be involved – the scene he was in @ the roadhouse after his branding clinched it for me.

Why would you be sorry Owen? You very rarely are, especially since you always get to come out the hero?

I guess at least he is admitting he can’t do it all alone – so I guess at least that’s 1 step in the right direction.

Oh yay – gun porn for the gun people – lovely – sorry – not a fan (losing a childhood friend in a school shooting and a high school boyfriend being murdered with one – make it a bit hard for me to find guns sexy – but to each their own.)

So, we now have 2 adults that have been kidnapped/held captive with their hands bound in front of them with their mouths taped – but they couldn’t just lean the 2 inches forward to rip off the tape?

So Andy was a suicide bomber – dude wasn’t planning on blowing the place up & getting away with it – he was literally a suicide bomber. – but – yeah, please try to make me feel bad for the kid, but too bad it was another miss.

I do think that the actor did an awesome job with the role – I could also buy him as a relative of O’Brien – something about the eyes.

I wouldn’t hate an Owen/O’Brien friendship – but am totally cool with it being off screen

As soon as the fake ambulance was surrounded – I knew that Owen was going to be pulling a Derek Morgan

Like the kid getting the boot from the club for being TOO right wing is not the way to get me to sympathize with him

“You need to run” – Okay – we will all just stand here and stare at you instead.

Like that ambulance is fake as fuck looking – how dumb are law enforcement in this show.

Sorry – but Grace has been hired as Owen’s babysitter

Maybe – tell her that you have anfo in the van – that way she can more quickly give you directions

Then Listen to the woman.

Sorry – but I predicted the van stopping – and laughed when it did. I thought we were about to see Owen go Superman and just push it all the way in with his pinkie finger.

Doesn’t he know you have to weight the gas pedal? Like he watches so many movies – but missed this one thing that is in almost every action movie I have watched.

Of course, it turns into laughing gas

Apparently Judd forgot all of the science info he recorded for Mateo in Season 1.

I loved that little throw back

I love Mateo

I really want Captain Judd Ryder to be a thing

Here is an Owen thing that I absolutely loved – the way he kept eye contact (until Andy spoke directly to him) with O’Brien during Andy’s testimony – Neal played that role so well – he truly looked like he was in pain over the situation. – Owen was the person he could look at and know he wasn’t being judged, just supported in the way he was trying to support his nephew’s wife.

It is what you do Owen.

So glad he was reminded that he had a son – and decided it was convenient for him to stop by. – I get that a lot of people absolutely love this whole scene – I like parts of it – but as I have mentioned previously – Owen & my Father are very similar & that makes it incredibly hard to see this gesture as one towards TK – but rather see it as one to assuage his own guilt.

Tim’s comment about Owen being the dad of the Groomzilla is fucking stupid as shit – sorry but that says that TK will be the groomzilla – the groomzilla can ONLY be the groom (in this case either or both Carlos & TK would qualify) – the father would be a Dadzilla – not the dad to the groomzilla. It really isn’t that fucking hard – but Tim likes to make TK look like the diva anyway – so I guess that is pretty on brand for him.

Sorry Owen, but one of those men is on his second wedding/marriage – they can’t all call Iris his wife in other eps and then act like this him marrying TK is Carlos’ first marriage.

#911 lone star season 4 #episode 4x06 thoughts #911 lone star spoilers

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solitalien · 17 days

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A Portal to Another World

Just want to put this here to say that one, the story is really long and two, is kind of creepy. I’m not really gonna put a warning because I don’t necessarily see what’s creepy just strange. Anyway, this was the dream that I had last night.

Last night I had a very strange dream. One, that although may appear like the rest, actually kind of freaked me out for some reason.

It started with me at a friend's house for a sleepover. It was kind of pool party that never really led to us going into the water. The house was huge and reminded me of a car dealer ship with how it was formatted. Though held tons of furniture, mostly couches and bean bags all in a monochrome setting.

This “friend” who had invited me similarly looked like my ex-partner but also not. It sorts of translated in the dream that this was my ex but looked nothing like them. They had a different face and body but just felt like them. it was strange.

There were five of us total in the beginning with it ending in three. the other three guests who had attended was one of my coworkers, my younger sibling, and a random girl who was just made up from my dream. I don't quite remember how it got to only three of us by the pool, but it just did. I noticed that there were some people missing so I went to go and search for them. My ex gave me a very confused look as they also didn't understand why we were the only one's hangout. I looked around the house when I stumbled upon them.

The two other people who “left” were my younger sibling and the girl. They went into a spare bedroom and just laid in their seeming very annoyed when I went and questioned them on their behavior. They were just lying there on the beds playing on their phones when they said the left because they were bored.

When I went to go and tell the others my ex seemed really upset, but not angry upset, but sad actually. They went and laid down in the lounge area and my coworker who had stayed with them tried to cheer them up to no avail. It made me really sad about the whole situation that I went and lay down with them. Facing them.

I remember that their expression the whole time from when I came out to of the spare bedroom was mixed with disappointment and confusion. That it was their fault the party "wasn't" as "interesting", that they were on the brink of tears. It made me genuinely sad, because I knew what that felt like.

When I laid with them, I rested my forehead against theirs. I did it as a way to show that I’m here. Even if no one else showed up today. I’m here.

I remember in reality that when me and my ex broke up that I told them that if they needed me for anything they could always reach out. They hadn't ever since, but still, it's true.

The moment broke when their mom came home, and it was time to have dinner. Everyone gathered around the table and the house changed from a spacious place to suddenly a cluttered one. The dining room remained me of a Texas Roadhouse without all the animal heads and was actually kind of messy. I sat across from my ex with my coworker and their mom on the same, with my younger sibling and the girl sitting with me.

We were enjoying our meals and engaging in conversations when something about a painting was brought up by the mother. My ex looked as though they had done something absolutely unforgivable then looking up at the wall behind me. Wanting to know why I look as well, and I see a row of paintings above me all old and with very detailed frames. With a spot in the middles where one should be, empty and full of mold.

The next dream I had I was shopping. Specifically for skin care products and other things that I would try out or enjoy.

Nothing too crazy happened, at least for a long while until my younger sibling showed up with their “friends” to also get things. It was a group of girls with one standing out. She had shoulder length wavy brown hair and was taller them my sibling. They were all trying to persuade me to get certain items that cater to their interests, and I wasn't bugging. They all sounded selfish and bratty after all.

I decided I’d had enough of their blabbering and went to the checkout to buy my things, with them of course following me.

I remember specifically when I arrived the tall girl got in front of me and started scanning my stuff. She looked very eager as she did so, as if maybe she was the one scanning the items, it meant she could have them. I stopped her saying that I can check out my items just fine, and she gave me a very angry expression that was a mix of frustration and defeat. She went over to my sibling complaining, and I bought myself a pack of gum.

The last part of my dream I was in a very strange convenience store that was like a huge garage and was mostly empty being only the four walls. I was an employe there and it consisted of workers who were either very much in their forties, or young teens. I worked in the back which was with mostly teenagers who I didn't really talk to. Nothing was really needed, and I would mostly crouch against the wall not really talking or interacting with anyone.

I remember there being one girl who for some reason thought I was really cool and wanted to be friends with me. She never really got the chance as I always kept my distance from everyone. I don't know why.

In the back there appeared to be tons of drawings scattered against a certain wall. It was by a wall that was near the exit the building, except the exit looked more like a very small door. Held together by old scraps wood.

My coworkers told me that the wall of drawings were there for inspection because of the school.

Oh, did I forget to tell you that the store was also apart of a school? Sorry, dream logic.

The school was very strange with one of the class I was apart of being art. The teachers seemed really strict, teaching in strange ways that never made sense. I was always proper around them as I could easily stand out if I missed behaved. The class only consisted of five students.

When I appeared back at my job I remembered the teachers talking about an art inspection. I understood the paintings now.

I went on break when the art inspector showed up, who appeared to be a very cutthroat type of guy. He tried to question me as to all my coworkers I was very emotionless, which meant something. They were right.

When I arrived in the break room my younger sibling was there. I was questioning them and it lead to an argument. I don’t quite remember what we were yapping about but it ended with them saying “If the worst thing I could be [my name], it would be you.”

When they said that it completely tipped me over I started laughing. Like a crazy man who had lost his damn mind.

The inspector heard this and smiled all twisted. He knew what he had to do. He ran into that small run down exit door which was actually the missing painting at my ex’s house.

The man was giggling nonsense when I calmed down like he was the one who had truly gone insane. It was like he was calling for me too. To join him. To enter into this world that I possibly couldn’t imagine. And that I did.

I entered the painting and I was no longer myself. I was in my backyard and the sky was a soft orange. I was moving around as if I was on the moon having no control over my body. I became so upset over this that I spit into four. All of us moving around even phasing through each other.

I hated it so much that I was trying to figure out a way to leave. When for some reason written on a piece of cardboard was the word “cherries” being written itself. That was the flavor of gum I chose. I made my way over to the cardboard and tried writing it down as well the best I could. When I did the door to my house opened and it was bright. I ran as fast as I could and when I entered, I was on the other side of the painting on the floor exhausted. When I looked up, I saw my ex looking at me with such love and worry in their eyes. When we made eye contact, we instantly ran towards each other embracing one another so tightly. After that I woke up.

#dream #dream i had #kinda scared ngl

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slowing-down-in-style · 5 months

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My Dad - 12/27/2023

My dad came over for Christmas. He showed up a little before 9:30am and he was gone before 11:30am. I didn't expect him to stay long. I guess there wasn't really anything worth staying for. He doesn't like people. (Groups of people or people in general) He doesn't like coming to the city. I can't get him to do anything with me. No hockey games. No baseball games. No Crew games. No Zoo. No parks. No hiking or biking or walking or movies or cooking or baking or... anything. He's okay with coming to my place though. Sometimes we go to dinner. Only at Texas Roadhouse, preferably in Springfield. He lives an hour away from us. So in actuality I guess instead of 2 hours... I'd taken up 4 hours of his day. Anyways, I thought the way that he left was rather weird...

He came over. I made cinnamon roll waffles for Christmas breakfast for him, Alex and I. We didn't exchange presents this year, same as last year. I didn't know what else to do while he was here... and I've long since learned I probably overwhelm him when I talk, because I fill the silence between us with talking. So I tried to talk less. Tried to stop filling the gaps of silence with worthless chit-chat.

So yeah. I guess it makes sense he left after only 2 hours. I dunno.. is 2 hours short? Is it long? Is that a perfect amount of time? He said he wanted to go home and take a nap.

Alex and I were fiddling with the xbox, maybe he thought we were ignoring him or were bored with him or something. I wasn't trying to ignore him, I was just trying to load something up, a game or a movie or something I could share with him so it wasn't just silence.

He suddenly declared he was going home and started walking towards the front door. I got up and opened my arms like I wanted to give him a hug. He looked back at me and kind of scoffed, then came back and hugged me and said goodbye. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that scoff and the look he had. I was heartbroken.

I sent him an email today, that's how my dad prefers to communicate, and asked him if I had done something to upset him on Christmas.

"No." was the reply. Nothing else.

Chris calls it verbal economy. 'that man does not talk about feelings. full stop.'

Yeah.. doesn't really leave me with a whole lot of paternal love. This is the same guy who let his me just step out of his life for years because his girlfriend treated me like a second class citizen and he only came back into my life because I called him and made him man up for my 16th birthday.

I need to quit trying to squeeze water out of stone.

My mom was a pretty emotional person. Very watery. Wore her heart on her sleeve. She was the one who had full custody of me. She often guilted me into spending time with her in ways that now... I miss terribly. She would sometimes climb in bed with me and snuggle. She would ask me to come down and snuggle up with her on the couch and watch a movie and play footsie with me like we did when I was a little kid. She took me everywhere with her when she could. (At least until she started leaving me home to go to the bar...)

I took these amazing moments for granted. When I was little I loved them. As a young adult and a teenager I felt cramped and we fought and she drank and it felt like manipulation and neglect and abuse. She would (often drunkenly) fight with me one night, not remember it the next day and expect me to be okay with her sudden lonely affections. She might not have been mother of the year, she might have been verbally and emotionally abusive and an alcoholic... and I'm not putting her above my dad in any way. But I wish right now I had parents who showed me love. I wish I had realized how important those moments were and how few of them I was going to have.

I have aunts who love me, or at least one does, but they are far away. On top of that Teri has more than enough to handle being the center piece of sustaining the lives of my disaster of a cousin and aunt. How can I possible ask her to take on one more burden in me?

I have Chris who loves me and shows me love in so many ways. He shows me new ways to love and encourages the growth I need to understand myself, the love I need and the love I give other people.

I have Alex who loves me and indulges me here and there in the same ways I indulged my mom when she wanted and needed affection and attention. When I want to show him attention and motherly affection I do so and try not to guilt him into accepting it as best I can.

I want to move towards acceptance of however my dad chooses to be and how he choses to love me. I like to think I have over the years. I don't try to force him into situations by suggesting things anymore- so he doesn't have to tell me no. But how do I expand on that acceptance so that I don't hurt when I'm let down anymore?

Also- today is his birthday. I'm taking him to dinner. To Texas Roadhouse. In Springfield.

#2023 #journal #dad

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toomanysurveys9 · 1 year

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What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? I don’t remember what book I last read. It was probably a children’s book though. I don’t really get to read for fun anymore.

Do you own a pair of Disney pajamas? Probably.

What are three of your favorite toppings for salads? Aside from the must-haves, like lettuce, spinach, carrots, sometimes purple cabbage, and hard-boiled eggs... croutons, cheese (usually cheddar), and ranch.

What was the last place you went out to eat? Uhm. Went to Texas Roadhouse this past Friday for girls’ night with one of my younger sisters, her best friend, and my cousin. My cousin’s asshole husband and two of her little loves joined us too though so it wasn’t really girls’ night at that point.

Do you have a lot of clutter in your home? My house is a fucking disaster right now. I cannot wait for my parents to get their own place in the next few months.

What was the last pill you took? 💊 Cold and flu medicine. I’m about to take some pain meds though. I have a dull ache in my right knee and hip.

Are you happy with your current doctor? 👩‍⚕️ For the most part, yes. he is so nice.

Is there a bottle of Benadryl in your medicine cabinet? There’s off brand allergy meds for children and adults.

Do you take vitamins? No. I probably should but I don’t.

Does your hair need to be washed right now?

So badly.

What was the last thing you ate? A slim jim. I really wanted one for whatever reason. I’m usually not a huge fan of them.

Do you prefer pizza or hot dogs? 🌭 🍕 Pizza.

What is your favorite pizza topping? 🍕 Ham, bacon, and pineapple lately. Is your dad a jerk? No, I wouldn’t describe him as a jerk.

What color are your fingernails painted? My nails aren’t painted.

Is anyone in your family currently in the military? My brother is in the national guard.

What was the last thing you bought at the dollar store? Snacks and pregnancy tests. Just out of precaution because my periods haven’t returned since I had Nora yet but she’s still nursing.

Are prices of things going up where you live? Yeah. It’s pretty scary right now.

What color was the last carpet you sat on? It was at work. I think it’s like a grayish-blue but I am drawing a blank on the for sure color.

What is your favorite dog breed? Husky or akita mixes. I’m a bit bias to my pups though.

When was the last time you wore make-up? 💄 It’s been a very long time.

What was the last thing you ordered at the last restaurant you went to? I got the 8 oz sirloin (half of that was brought home), loaded mashed potatoes, and a house salad.

What was the last thing you wore that was pink? I don’t remember. Probably a toy necklace.

Name three people you know, if any, that currently live in another country. Sofia (this super sweet girl my brother has been talking to since September and is currently visiting).

Name three people you know who are from another country (and what countries?) I only could think of Sofia.

What are your grandmas’ names? Brenda (my mom’s biological mom), Susie (my dad’s biological mom), Dee (my mom’s foster mom), and Debbie (my mom’s stepmom).

If applicable, who lives across the hall from you? We live in a four-bedroom house. My kids’ and sisters’ rooms are closest to mine.

Have you ever heard of “fairy hair”? (It’s tinsel in the hair that gets put in permanently…it’s like tinsel highlights.) I have not. It sounds terrible..

Have you found any gray hairs on your head? I have not.

If applicable, how old were you when you found your first gray hair? I haven’t yet. I’ll be thirty this year.

Do you think you will dye your hair when it’s gone gray? I doubt it.

Do you have a sister-in-law? I do.

Do you have a brother-in-law? Nothing official, but yes. Two of my sisters (Erin and Ashley) are both in long-term committed relationships and also have children with their partners. I’m finally an aunt. :)

When was the last time you went swimming? 👙 ☀️ Last summer.

Do you own a bikini? No. I would not be comfortable after having three kids.

What color is your bike, if you own one? I don’t have one.

If you were a rockstar, what color guitar would you have? 🎸 I don’t know. Probably at least a light blue one. And a black one.

Does your home have carpeted floors? Our room is the only one with carpet, but it’s all tore up, so we will probably change that soon.

What color was the last scarf you wore? I don’t remember. I don’t usually wear scarfs.

What was the last spicy thing you ate? I don’t remember. I don’t really eat spicy foods.

Do you like sushi? 🍣 I’ve honestly never really tried it because I really don’t like fish.

When was the last time you had sushi? 🍱 ^^^

Can you see a box from where you are sitting right now? No. But I see several plastic bins.

Would you rather sing or dance? 🎤 💃 Sing for sure. I cannot dance. I can sometimes sing.

What color was the last sports bra you wore, if applicable?

Black and gray.

What is your nicest neighbor’s name? Jim.

Would you rather have a personal chef or personal house cleaner? House cleaner. All day. I can’t keep up with the number of animals and people that live in my house right now. It’s so gross in here right now.

Do you have any zits on your face right now? Yeah. Masks are wonderful.

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Neither.

How many Britney Spears albums have you owned? A couple when I was little.

What was the first concert you went to? I don’t remember. I just know it was at the local fair.

Do you like cheese? 🧀 Yeah. What are three of your favorite things to sprinkle cheese on top of? Chili, salads, and spaghetti.

What are three of your favorite bakery items? Pumpkin muffins, banana nut muffins or bread, and croissants.

When was the last time you went to a bakery? 🧁 Yesterday I went to a place that has a bakery, does that count?

Do you prefer coffee or chai? ☕️ Coffee.

Do you know what “chai” means? Yeah.

What are three other names you like that start with the same letter as your name? Marlene, Megan, and Mary.

What are three creative hobbies you enjoy? Music. That’s really the main one.

Is there a bag or basket of yarn somewhere in your home? 🧶 Probably in my sister’s room.

Do you ever wear skirts? Very, very rarely.

Would you rather have a tattoo of a skull or a flower? I already have a flower tattoo - it’s my matching tattoo with my mom.

Have you ever had to take steroids? 💊 Probably.

What are three of the worst withdrawal effects or side effects you have experienced from a medication? 💊 Uh, I haven’t ever had anything too serious that I can remember. I’ve had some pretty bad dizziness, dry mouth, and nausea though.

What are three things you like about church? I don’t go to church. I’m not a religious person.

What are three things you dislike about church?

Does your town have a horse and carriage company? I honestly don’t know. Who are three of the biggest jerks you know? Jacob can be. Lol. Uhm. On a real note... Jason and Christian.

Have you ever met a Jason that you didn’t like? Well, the only Jason I know sexually abused me as a child so there’s that.

Have you ever had a friend named Sarah? I do currently actually at work.

Did you go to school with a Suzy? Not that I recall.

What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school? Micah was the meanest one.

Do you know someone named Matthew? Yeah. I’m not a huge fan of Matthews either.

…Mark? Yes. The Marks I know have been nice.

….Luke? Yes.

….John? Yeah.

Have you ever been friends with an Ashley? My sister is named Ashley. We used to be friends I guess.

….an Emily? Yeah, in elementary school.

….a Jessica? Yes. Not so much anymore.

….a David? That’s my dad’s name.

Have you ever dated a Matthew? Nope.

Who was the last person you remember hanging up on you? Probably my mom.

How’s your heart? Are you wounded? 💔 Eh. Could be better, could be worse.

What was the last type of pie you ate? Probably apple pie.

Are you happy today? Not really. They made new positions at work. One of them is a lead float position, which floating is my primary job at work these days. I’m applying for the promotion but I’m 99.9% sure I’m not going to get it and that they really shouldn’t be having people apply or interview because I am 99.9% sure that they already planned on giving it to Shannon when they made the position anyways even though I’m just as qualified and I’ve been there the longest. I also am the one that gets thrown on all of the kids and never complains about it.

What time did you wake up this morning? I officially got up at 6:15 AM.

And last but not least, did you enjoy this survey? It was okay.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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burtonbabygirlguster · 2 years

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sometimes i get really really self conscious in public but them i remember i’m funnier than everyone else there but also in the worst ways, i have multiple examples

1) couldn’t find a vacuume in the middle of a living room

2) realized baked beans were being served by staring at my dads girlfriends plate and shouting “ARE THOSE BAKED BEAN STAINS?!?”

3) asked if there was an east virginia

4) said cheese lime key cake instead of key lime cheese cake

5) constantly zone out and have to say ‘wait what’

6) untill a few months ago, i thought the Texas Roadhouse logo was actually a buffalo wearing a hat, never did it occur to me that it was the state of texas

7) made a joke about Vecna’s real name being Henry whist explaining why robin and nance were at penthouse, was right

8) one time during biology, i asked my teacher if i could listen to music, he said yes, so i put on my headphones. he was talking about like going dead and music and whatnot, and i immediately, not knowing what he was saying, paused, removed one muff, and said “wait what”

9) i (attempt) to fist fight with my dog (also not in a serious way, she likes to jump on me and chew on me, so i mock fist fight her)

10) my dogs ate my glasses

11) i brought a bad of key lime MnMs to school, my friend threw the bag and about 20 spilled out onto the cafeteria floor, and i ate every single one. i don’t even like MnMs

12) you know that one meme from Brookly 99 where Jake(?) runs up to Terry(?) while Terrys holding a mug and catches him and breaks the mug

ive done that. i was holding a glass mason jar when my friend ran up behind me for a piggyback, i immediately dropped the jar and held onto him

13) every day in ELA, we’d do ‘highs and lows,’ and each time i’d raise my hand and tell a dad jine

and the ABSOLUTE FUNNIEST part about this is that i’ve been in all advanced/honors classes since and considered gifted and talented since fifth grade, and i’m the worlds biggest idiot

all these take place in 8th grade and later

there’s more of me being an idiot i could make a documentary about it i’m too awesome for this world

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panda-writes-kpop · 3 years

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Blackpink (High School AU!) - Going to Prom With Them (Requested!)

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! I hope your week is going well so far. 💕

TW: Food and Fluff!

Jisoo:

- I feel like she would ask you with the classic poster with a cheesy saying on it.

- If you were close and she knew where you lived, Jisoo would bring the sign to your front door.

- If not, she’ll just ask you at your locker one day after school.

- I feel like you would take some semi-cheesy/clichè prom photos.

- But mixed in with those photos is moments of you two goofing around with each other.

- She’d take you out to a semi-fancy restaurant before prom (think Texas Roadhouse or Olive Garden).

- At prom, she would be the person to sit and chat with you most of the time.

- I also fully believe that she is super into line dances and slow dances.

- Would persuade you to dance if you didn’t want to.

- You have a fun time dancing the night away with Jisoo at your side <3

Jennie:

- She pulls out all of the stops for prom because you deserve the best.

- A bouquet of your favorite flowers, a huge stuffed animal, and a box of your favorite candies is how she asks you to prom.

- But what makes you say yes is her sweet smile and kind words.

- “I couldn’t imagine going to prom with anyone but you, Y/N. Would you go with me?”

- She’s such a softie for you the entire night.

- Catch her making heart eyes at you the entire time you’re taking pictures.

- Also you’re having dinner at the most expensive place in town, and she’s buying. There is no disputing this with her.

- Also would not be against renting a limo for the night.

- Jennie would be a little shy at the dance.

- But once you drag her on the dance floor, she’s pumped up for the rest of the night.

- If she isn’t dating you before that night, then she’ll definitely ask you out. That ends up being the highlight of your night!

Rosè:

- Rosè would be so nervous to ask you to prom, but I think that she would ask you to prom as a mix of Jennie and Jisoo’s methods.

- She’ll buy a rose, your favorite chocolate bar, and a mini stuffed animal. Then, she’ll write or say a cute and cheesy pick-up line to capture your heart.

- Honestly, the two of you hands down have the cutest prom photos out of everyone.

- Rosè would, most likely, take you to a local restaurant to eat.

- She’s probably clinging to your arm the entire night with a grin on her face.

- When you get to prom, Rosè enjoys dancing to all of the songs.

- It’ll be rare to see her on the sidelines (or you, for that matter.)

- But her absolutely favorite dances are the slow ones because she gets to be close to you.

- She basically hugs you while swaying back and forth.

-It’s the cutest thing, and she gets super happy when you respond back to her.

- Rose enjoys spending the night right by your side since that is when she’s happiest.

Lisa:

- Lisa is definitely a lot calmer than her older members.

- She’d just walk up to you one day and ask if you wanted to go to prom with her.

- Of course, you say yes and she’s over the moon.

- Lisa would enjoy taking a lot of photos in a variety of different backgrounds.

- The more photos of you two, the better.

- Lisa wasn’t super picky on the food, so she just let you make the food reservations.

- You had a lot of fun talking and joking around in the restaurant.

- She definitely holds your hand and makes a few moves throughout the night.

- Lisa lights up the dance floor as soon as she makes it to prom.

- She manages to capture a lot of eyes, including yours.

- Absolutely drags you out to dance with her.

- She doesn't care about your dancing ability.

- Lisa just wants to do the thing she loves with the person she likes.

- Slow dances give her time to cool down and get close to you.

- Probably ends up scoring your phone number and maybe a date if she’s persuasive enough.

236 notes · View notes

sortasirius · 4 years

Text

Baby’s

Don’t look at me I’m so fucking emo

I want this for Dean so bad

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Words: 1079

Dean never realized how much cleaning went into owning a bar.

He’s spent a lot of time in bars, and more often than not they’re greasy, crusty, smell like cigarette smoke and sweat and stale beer. But not his place. Nah, Baby’s is gonna be clean, with one of the shiny bars you always see in movies, with a ton of beers on tap. It’s a place he’s always dreamed of, obviously, since Michael stuck him there when he was in control, but he tries not to think about that. Those memories were hazy anyway.

He found this place by accident, maybe the last of Chuck’s luck, maybe the universe throwing him a bone. (He has saved it a few times, after all). The place is perfect, right in the middle of Texas, so he has the blazing summers to look forward to, but he can do without the winters in Kansas, so it’s a fair enough trade.

It’s an honest to god roadhouse, the perfect mix of bar and home, especially with the apartment situated above it. The whole place needs some serious TLC, but he doesn’t mind. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have anywhere else to be.

He fixes up the little garage first, taking the tools he had scrounged from the bunker and from his own supply when he left and storing them carefully in the backseat when he leaves for the last time, taking a long look in the rearview before he matches Sam and Eileen’s tire tracks and turns the opposite direction. He strips the wood, sands it, clears it of debris and weeds and trash, spends his first days at the new place outside in the sun, listening to his favorite songs on Spotify from his phone.

Finally, after five days, his first of many projects is done. The garage is fit for a queen, which is, well, perfect really. Dean parks the Impala and covers her carefully in a sheet. She’s finally semi-retired.

He heads inside, hoping against hope that the pipes wouldn’t rust out on him and he can get a good shower.

“How’s it look?” Cas looks up from his place at the bar, where he’s in a ratty t shirt that’s already covered in wood stain, scrubbing the bar with so much vigor that Dean is kinda scared it’ll snap in half.

“It’s done. She’s parked.”

Cas smiles at him, and Dean can’t help but return it with everything he has.

He had thought, maybe, that Cas would want to go out on his own, being human and everything now. Looking back, that was kind of stupid, but Dean had felt like he was twenty pounds lighter when Cas had slid into the passenger seat of the Impala saying nothing but,

“Where to?”

They spend the next six months fixing the place up from seam to seam, from the rotted floors to the dingy bathroom, to the apartment upstairs. With their sweat and blood and ten thousand trips to Home Depot, they make the place into something that has only ever lived in Dean’s dreams.

And as they clean and repair and replace and build, that thing that he had always tried his best to force into the lowest, darkest part of himself. That thing with Cas. That was allowed to grow. It was more natural than anything else. More natural to lean over a beer and kiss Cas than it was to start the engine of the Impala. Something that was a given, never to be questioned again.

“What’s the name?” Sam asks over the phone one Sunday morning, while Dean organizes their first ever liquor shipment and Cas tries to figure out how to put a tap together.

“I was thinking Baby’s.”

“For the Impala?” he can hear Sam’s smirk through the phone.

“Yeah...and for Dirty Dancing too.”

One last homage to Lee, even after everything.

“Wow, chick flick king over here,” Sam laughs, “Well, Eileen and I found a great little place up in Montana, you and Cas should come visit when you get a break.”

“We won’t ever get a break,” Cas cuts in, rolling his eyes and huffing in frustration, “He’s already got us working eighteen hour days.”

“What can I say, I’m a business owner now,” Dean winks at Cas, who’s mouth lifts at the flirtation.

“Well whatever, you should come see the place when you get the chance.”

“Will do Sammy. I’ll talk to you next week.”

“Sure thing, bye man, bye Cas.”

Dean doesn’t really expect much business. They are a little...off the beaten path, but they’re close enough to a small town that they get a few curious locals who quickly become their regulars. And those regulars bring in people who bring in people who make Dean and Cas busier than they ever were as hunters.

Dean’s crowning achievement is the purple neon sign, with pink and deep blue accents, that they set up above the place. Baby’s. His place. He swells with pride every time he looks at it, and doesn’t even complain when Cas makes them switch sides of the bed because it bothers his eyes at four in the morning.

They have to hire two more bartenders in six months, and Dean suddenly feels like a real owner. He loves playing bartender and slinging drinks much more than the boring paperwork, but Cas helps him with that. They’ve always made a great team.

Dean feels like he spends most of his free time cleaning now. If he was downstairs, he was always armed with a bottle of disinfectant spray and a dishrag. Cas calls him a germaphobe. Dean says he’s not and then kisses Cas to prove it. Cas just shakes his head and goes back to wiping glasses.

Dean doesn’t realize it until about a year in, but he looks around at the bustling place, with pool tables and foosball and classic arcade games that Dean bought for a song and fixed up himself, with the line of craft beers he’d always wanted, with Cas by his side, throwing his head back at a joke one of the regulars is telling, Dean realizes that he might be really, truly happy for the first time in his life.

And it was all down to a roadhouse.

Dean finally gets the piece of Heaven he’s always deserved. Funny enough, maybe fitting enough, it just happened to be here on earth the whole time.

#my writing #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #dean #he deserves this and i hope they give it to him

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kickingitwithkirk · 3 years

Text

Greetings from Austin pt. III

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Alpha!Jared Padalecki x Omega!OFC

Summary: Jensen and Jared are at odds over a monumental decision that changes their lives in a way they couldn’t have envisioned.

WC: 3825

Warnings: a/b/o, bisexuality, biphobia, homophobia, angst, cursing, self doubt, depression/anxiety, married life/disagreements, medical stuff, sexual dysfunction, infertility/surrogacy

*flirting, m/m oral sex, Jensen’s insecurities are coming out, Jared gets arrested, both get counseling

A/N: This part consists of several time jumps over four month period.

A/N II: Hey, sorry took me a way longer to get done than planned, rewrote Oct 23 a dozen times alone and hoping makes sense, trying to flesh out characters more and has some stuff that plays into story line in later parts.

Part II

Masterlist

@winchesterandbeyondbingo square filled-Jensen Ackles

*Series Inspired by this art.

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

September 8th

7:30 am

Jensen was sitting in the makeup chair clenching his extra strong coffee container to help warm his hands. He’d spent a second, uncomfortable night in his trailer on location as Vancouver was having an unusual cold snap this time of year and with the covid restrictions the director decided that everyone needed to stay on site.

While he wasn’t happy about the weather, missing his own personal heater but at the same time grateful for a brief break from Jared now that they were heading towards the next phase of starting their family.

Jensen jokingly said they needed a code name since they were planning on keeping their plans a secret, even from their families, until the pups were born, playfully suggesting a cartoon from their childhoods.

Of course with Jared’s weird sense of humor, he loved it and started throwing ideas like operation: pound puppies.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Frieda said as she applied a concealer under his eyes to hide the dark smudges from not sleeping well.

“Huh?”

“You asked about my new job and haven’t heard anything I’ve said, wanna talk about it?”

“Sorry, not focusing very well today.”

“Yeah, we’re all feeling out of sorts with this being the last couple days.”

Jensen couldn’t believe he was down to his last two days of filming.

“Too bad this virus messed everything up, it would’ve been a hell of a send off if everybody could have been here.”

Alex and Misha had left right after they’d finished but Jim Beaver was back for the ending. It was only right for Bobby Singer to be there at the end, having been such a pivotal character in the brothers lives.

Frieda continues chatting about random things while finishing his makeup. A PA stuck his head in calling Jensen to the set. He stepped out of the trailer and smiled seeing his Baby sitting near the building being used as the exterior of Harvelle's Roadhouse.

***

September 12th

“Jen, I’m taking out the bags,” Jared calls out seconds before the apartment's front door shut.

Jensen was doing one last check around the place for any forgotten anything. Satisfied, he walked into the living room containing neatly marked boxes ready to be shipped back to Texas, relieved they had downsized from the big house Jared had years ago.

He stopped to gaze out the picture window when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist, molding his back to the muscular chest of his mate, who rested his chin on his shoulder quietly saying, “I’m gonna miss this view.” Jensen hummed in agreement tipping his head back as Jared nuzzled his neck.

“We need to get going if we’re gonna make Seattle by seven,” Jared softly muttered as they’d stood there for a few heartbeats longer before releasing him. They walked to the door and Jensen turned once more to gaze out the window at the view of Vancouver.

***

September 21st

“This has been a great trip but man, I’ll be glad to be in our own bed tonight.” Jared remarks as they drive past a green highway sign saying Austin 312.

“Can’t wait,” Jensen drowsily says having not slept much the last couple days. They had decided to road trip it back to Texas, stopping at a few places they had wanted to visit for awhile.

Jared somehow managed to finagal, okay so his mind numbing blow job combined with those lethal long fingers that always makes Jensen agree to anything got him a couple extra days in southern Colorado.

Jensen enjoyed the beautiful scenery and hiking in the mountains but hated camping out. Well, it wasn’t technically roughing it the way Jared liked but still.. a frigging yurt in late September?

Oy vay, what he did for love.

The sound of Jared singing along to some classic country song on the radio as he drove finally put Jensen completely out.

***

October 23rd

Turning from the open fridge with a puzzled expression on his face, Jared senses the same vague something he’s felt God knows how many times in the last couple months.

Shutting the door he walked over to the island counter where his husband was seated pushing his unfinished dinner around on his plate.

“Jen, what’s going on? Are you worried about the implantation? Dr. Rodgers said the embryos were healthy and optimistic the surrogate took this first try.”

What Jensen wants to ask, the question that’s plagued him since that day in August choosing their Omega surrogate...how the hell does he phrase it without upsetting Jared?

“Did you choose her because you knew she’d be the one I’d pick?”

Jensen slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide, disbelieving he blurted it out.

Jared worked to find a response squeaking an actual squeak before he could get control over his vocals, “That’s what I’ve been sensing!” Gripping the edge of the counter with his big hands, “Are you seriously going there again? I was honest about our interactions when I realized she was the one I knocked down at the clinic and FYI, you weren’t exactly in full control either Alpha!”

Jensen clenched his teeth at being reminded his inner need to be in control at all times slipped.

“I’ve racked my brains trying to figure it out how to ask something like that without upsetting you!” Jensen yells getting up and pacing around the kitchen.

Jared huffed, “So all this time instead of talking to me, you’ve conjured up some..”

“For the last two years I’ve gotten the sense you feel somethings missing, kept telling myself it’s your unfulfilled biology. But ever since you meet that Omega you’ve been.. I can’t explain it and now I’m second guessing our marriage Ja....” his rant abruptly cut off.

Jared’s eyes were glowing red, pinning him with an eerie wolf expression, the intensity disconcerting him. “I chose you, my husband, my soulmate, my everything!“ The words should have been reassuring but Jared’s voice was pitiless, something Jensen's never heard pass from his lips before.

Jared took a deep breath and with normalcy returning said, “I love you Jensen and I thought you understood, for me, in my mind, both of us having pups with the same donor means my offspring won’t be seen as just step relations but will grow up having strong familial ties with JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin.”

Jensen started to speak when a low, reverberating growl from Jared warning him not to interrupt.

“I consciously listened to my inner wolf when it came to choosing the person who is biologically the Om of our children and I,” Jared emphasizes tapping his chest with his long index finger, ”have no regrets but apparently you do.” Taking a deep breath Jared drops a non sequitur, ”The dogs need to be fed,” and walks away.

At the sound of Jared’s SUV leaving Jensen’s legs gave out and he drops to the floor curling up in a fetal position wrapping his arms over his head. Arlo and Koda laid down, one on each side, cocooning him between them.

***

Thanksgiving

“The kids are in a tryptophan coma,” Jensen announces as he walks in through the kitchen's back door. He had followed Danneel home afterwards helping get JJ and the twins cleaned up and put to bed, “they’ll be out till Monday.”

“Good, cause I’m dead on my feet,” Jared replies yawning while loading the dishwasher. It had been their turn to host the holiday with Danneel, the kids, Clif, Jared’s siblings and their broods.

“I told you to wait and I’d help finish the cleanup when I got back.” Jensen said as Jared started the machine.

“I figured you’d wanna stay awhile and be too tired and I didn’t want to deal with it tomorrow. All that’s left is to put the trash and recycling out, could you grab it?”

“On it,” Jensen picked up the bags walking around the side of the house dropping them into their designated receptacles.

When he came back in Jared was switching off the lights downstairs. They made their way up to the bedroom taking turns in the bath getting ready for bed.

Jensen was sitting with his back against the headboard checking his messages when Jared drops heavily next to him, “I plan on sleeping for the next three days.” He mutters resting his head against Jensen’s shoulder.

“Sounds good to me babe, I’m glad we didn’t schedule anything extra this weekend, be nice to spend some time alone.” He finishes wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hmm, do you remember last year's Thanksgiving?”

Jared closed the kitchen pantries door, pushing Jensen against it seductively lowering his fox slanted eyes huskily whispering, “I’m so fucking horny I need my dick you now.”

“Dude, we’re re in my sisters...“

“..you’ll have to be quiet,” Jared dove in for a deep, dirty kiss, grinding against Jensen until he was begging to be fucked.

“You’re the one who got us busted..oh fuck Jensen..so fucking tight..fuck..not gonna last..then later I get Mac saying it sounded like your dick...”

“Okay..buuut,” Jared tilts his head slowly running his tongue up the column of Jensen’s neck, “you gotta admit,” hand slipping under his sleep shirt, “our sex life,” long fingers tip toe up the smooth, freckled chest, pads teasing his left nipple as Jared nibbles on his earlobe, ”is never boring.”

Jensen groans, dropping his arm, still clinching the phone, tipping his head to expose more of his neck to Jared’s wondrous lips, enjoying the scratch of his short beard.

“I thought you were sleeping the next three days.”

Jared answers by removing his hand and straddling his husband's thick thighs taken the phone placing it on the nightstand and starts nibbling along the other side of Jensen’s sensitive neck, working his way to his slightly raised claim mark flattening his tongue licking the ultra sensitive spot that always drives his Alpha wild.

Jensen slides his hands up Jared’s back finding a grip in his shortened hair, unhappy about how much he’s cut off for Walker, unable to tangle his thick fingers into the soft tresses like he used to.

Finding a purchase he pulls hard making Jared groan at the pleasurable sensation tips his head back till it’s the perfect angle for Jensen to run his tongue across those candy pink lips, teasing them open to grant him access, continues teasing, alternating between caressing Jared’s tongue with his and sucking on his lips.

Moaning, Jared rocks his hips seeking friction, breaks their kissing long enough to work Jensen's sleep shirt off. They end up wrestling a few moments before Jared tosses it as Jensen’s lips attack his more desperately.

Tapping Jared’s thigh, Jensen rolls them kneeling between sleep pant clad legs watching as Jared reaches up gripping the strategically placed bar in their custom made headboard with both hands, his pecs flexing in anticipation of what’s to come.

Not breaking eye contact Jensen bends forward, his lips a hair's breadth from Jared’s, slowly slides backwards hovering, caressing the acres of golden skin beneath him with only his warm breath, pausing to hook his fingers in the pants waistband and pulling them with him as he continues journeying south.

Slowly making his way back north he leaves wet, open mouth kisses along the now naked, extra long, muscular legs he loves, sucking on the insides of both thighs, nipping hard enough to leave marks before arriving at his designated stop.

He hasn’t even touched Jared’s beautiful cock yet it’s fully engorged, resting against his flat stomach vigorously leaking precome. Jensen dips his tongue into his bellybutton lapping up the liquid collecting in it, cause fuck, he’s loves how more sweet than salty Jared’s always tasted.

Hips rolling Jared rubs his cockhead against Jensen’s tongue and he kitten licks the dribbling slit before resting his head on Jared’s lower stomach and wrapping his lips around the velvety head.

Shifting his grip on the bar Jared’s makes nonsensical noises, toes curling at the mixed sensations of his mates silky beard tickling his lower regions while sucking on his cockhead, alternates swirling his tongue over the nerves underneath and teasing his slit sending spikes of pleasure radiating through him.

After all these years Jared’s still amazed at Jensen’s knowledge of his body, his ability to keep him on the edge of not enough for however long he’s in the mood to play.

“..pleease...need to cum...got to..so fucking..uhh..Alpha!”

Raising up on a forearm Jensen starts bobbing up and down his shaft, pausing briefly on each downward pass, working his throat open to take Jared further in until he’s nose deep in dark, trimmed pubic hair. Holding his mate's substantial cock in his throat swallows around him as Jared’s knot inflates, pushing his jaws apart till it’s too much.

Letting the knot slip out from between his plump lips Jensen wraps a hand firmly around it and starts vigorously bobbing drawing out a litany of obscene noises, feels Jared’s balls drawing up and backs off swallowing the warm, thick, spurting liquid.

Leisurely licking until Jared hissed, too sensitive for anymore kisses the tip one last time crawls back up the bed searching for his pillow and face plants on it.

“Dude, you’ve finally sucked out my last brain cell.”

Purring deep in his chest, Jensen gives Jared a self satisfied smirk, who mutters, “wasn’t trying to give you a bigger head.”

Rolling onto his side Jensen displays his turgid cock needing attention, “okay, he’s the bigger head,” Jared concedes reaching down running his fingers over the weeping tip, wetting them with precome spreads it over the shaft firmly fisting Jensen’s pulsing thickness, moving his hand up and down excruciatingly slowly.

“So,” his honeyed voice lowers an octave watching Jensen dissolving into a breathy mess, “how does he want me?”

Jensen opens his mouth to answer when a phone rings. Glaring over his shoulder, “not mine,” he growls. Still stroking him Jared stretches for his, “it’s the clinic..hello? Dr. Rodgers, hey, how are you sir?” He lets go sitting up against the headboard.

Why’s the doctor calling them at such an odd time, on a holiday no less?

Jared's brow wrinkles before he turns to Jensen, eyes sparkling breaks out his wondrous smile making his dimples pop.

“Jensen, she’s pregnant!”

Jared's practically bouncing on their bed like he’s on a massive sugar high discussing what comes next with the doctor. Jensen feels his erection rapidly diminishing, gets up heading into the bath and turns on the shower.

Climbing in he crosses his arms against the far wall, resting his forehead against them closing his eyes as hot water bounces across his broad shoulders.

Jensen knows he should be elated. Jared’s getting the pup (or pups) he’s desired for years and the possibility of being a father himself again. Instead, his heart seized up in conflict.

***

After that god awful argument in October he ended up at Josh’s, who confessed his mate and him were seeing a counselor because they were having marital issues too. Spending the night drinking and reflecting Jensen came home the next morning to a still angry Jared cause he didn’t know where the fuck his husband was all night.

Filling him in about his talk with Josh, Jared seemed somewhat mollified but a few nights later...

Walker star Jared Padalecki arrested near the one year anniversary of Stereotype bar altercation.

· Jared Padalecki was arrested once again in Austin, Texas, early Sunday morning on one count of public intoxication…

When he got released Jared sat Jensen down pleading with him to sit in on his next therapy session, saying they couldn’t keep going on like this, it was tearing him apart.

He wants..no..needs Jensen to completely open up, stop trying to protect him and discuss what’s going on in his head, what he’s really feeling.

Jared’s therapist started off informing both of them he wasn’t a marriage counselor but after a brief conversation with Jared knew the situation was having a detrimental impact on his mental health.

He listened to them separately, then together, about their observations and thoughts on each other’s behaviors came up with a hypothesis:

Since Jared’s last depressive episode, his random thoughts/emotions were feeding more into Jensen’s deep seated insecurities over his mate’s open, flirtatious personality and how he perceives others attraction/interactions to him.

And now Jared’s inner wolf is demonstrating an intense attraction to an Omega, something never encountered before with past preferences in Beta females, with this new dynamic Jensen didn’t know how to handle it.

Jensen opened and closed his mouth several times sputtering before saying this was complete bullshit and stormed out.

***

Lost in thought Jensen didn’t notice his husband stepping into the open shower stall until his considerable frame was blocking the water, Jared’s voice drew him out of his musings.

“I can hear you thinking clear in the other room.”

Cupped Jensen’s face between his large hands he gazed into those spring colored eyes that captured his heart the moment he looked into them years ago, “Hey, no matter what happens next, we’re good.”

***

December 16th

Jared was sitting in his chair chatting with Lindsey and Keegan while the crew was finishing setting up for the next scene when his phone rang. He didn’t recognize the number but excuses himself, stepping away for some privacy answering.

“Hey, everything okay?” Lindsay asked after he hung up, concerned by the visible tension rolling off the big Alpha.

“Umm..I don’t know, I need to make another call...” Jared said, waving the phone, “yeah, let us know if you need anything.” Keegan says and Jared nodded his thanks.

The phone rang three times, “Hey Clif, I need a favor.”

***

December 19th

Clif pulled the SUV into the parking lot, “Are you sure this is the right place?” Jared inquires looking around taking in the old motel located in a very questionable area of Austin.

“This is the name the guy mentioned.” Clif replied, getting out heading for the office. Couple minutes later he climbed back in, “the manager said the laundry out back.” He started the vehicle and drove to the rear of the property.

Clif got out again and knocked on the building's door. An older Hispanic woman answered engaging him in a brief conversation before stepping back inside.

Clif nodded to Jared and as he got out of the vehicle that piquant scent hit him seconds before the door reopened. The person he’d spent days searching for froze in the doorway upon seeing him.

***

December 22nd

Jensen, claiming out of the Uber, grabbed his bag thanking the driver, walked up the front stone pathway relieved to be home from L. A. after a hopefully final costume fitting for his new role as Soldier Boy, this flying back and forth every week for the last couple months had gotten old real quick and he was looking forward to enjoying the holidays at home.

Jared’s parents were coming tomorrow and staying for a few days as was Danneel and their pups. Josh said he was still planning on dropping by a few hours Christmas Day since he and Mac were scheduled to spend most of the holiday with their parents.

Jensen felt that mixture of anger and sadness he got thinking about his parents. He was raised in their church and though he never believed in it, respected their choice.

Too bad they couldn’t reciprocate.

***

Alan and Donna belonged to an ultra conservative church. The foundations of child rearing was to be found in the good book and in the Ackles household-spare the rod, spoil the child-was gospel.

When they were growing up neither parent was the physically or emotionally demonstrative type, only showing their offspring a reserved affection, especially in public.

The saving grace was their Beta nanny who gave them unconditional love, especially Jensen, who was shy as a child already knowing he was different from his siblings. She instilled the confidence in them to discover who they truly were inside and encouraged Jensen to come out before moving to California.

Shortly after graduating he told his family about his bisexuality and his boyfriend was moving to L.A. with him.

Alan and Donna tried to stop him. He was to go to their pastor and confess his transgressions, beg forgiveness for his sins against the church and its teachings, threatening to pull the agreed upon six month financial support while he auditioned for parts before going to college if it didn’t work out.

Jensen refused, packed up, took his boyfriend and left. He got his first break shortly after and quickly learned Hollywood didn’t care what his sexual orientation was as long as he kept it behind closed doors.

His management agency decided early on to promote Jensen as the good guy/boyfriend type. They also set him up on dates to events with many up and coming female artists of the time. He had no problem playing along when he wasn’t actually dating a woman.

His big break came on the CW. After co-starring in a couple series for the network he was offered the chance to be a lead in a new series created by Eric Kripke.

At the audition he met former Gilmore Girls heartthrob, Jared Padalecki, flashing his infectious smile, dimples for days and the most beautiful, incredible color shifting eyes Jensen’s ever seen, he was done for.

Jensen might not have his biological parents in his life anymore but his now in-laws, the complete opposite of the Ackles, helped fill that hole.

It’s easy to see where Jared’s personality comes from. His Om, Sherrie, is overly affectionate, excessively physical and verbal with everyone she considers family, biological or not.

The first time he accompanied Jared home on a holiday break Jensen was literally bowled over by the five foot nothing Omega and instantly became part of her brood.

***

Barley getting the front door open Jensen is hit with the piquant scent of orange blossoms and spices he couldn’t quite place.

Dropping his carry-on bag in the foyer he followed the scent further into the house. Arlo sat up near the large picture windows facing the backyard where he and Koda are napping and gets up coming over to greet him.

“Hey big guy, where’s daddy at?” Jensen asked rubbing around his ears like he liked having thought Jared would still be on set before the holiday break.

He heads towards the kitchen where the scent seems to be coming from, “Babe is that coffee shop back open, what’s it called, has those sweet rolls you're obsessed with..” he abruptly stopped and blinks not believing what was in front of him.

More accurately who was in front of him.

“Babe is in his office and dinner will be ready in twenty.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

***

tbc

GFA: @babypink224221 @waywardjoy @let-me-luve-you @all-4-wincest

SPN: @donnaintx @lyarr24

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

#jensen ackles #jared padalecki #j2 husbands #winchesterandbeyondbingo #alpha!jensen ackles #alpha!jared padalecki #alpha!jensenxalpha!jaredxomega!ofc #j2 au #j2 fanfic #j2alphas #a/b/o ofc #spn #supernatural #slow burn

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vneuns · 2 years

Note

now that i think bout it, gogy does have a dumpy

just the reader going off on a tangent like--nvm let me set this scene

it's date night, y'all are going to Texas Roadhouse, or at least an eat in, sit down place. More of a lighthearted date night, b/c George has never been to that type of restaurant since he a brit. You're both getting ready, deciding for a more casual dress code-dressed down even. You know he's going to pull a hoodie and jeans ensemble when you hear him yell out 'blue or black?' before walking over to you in a towel, holding up both pairs of jeans on hangers. 'babe, the blue ones' before going off on a tangent of how they emphasize the dumptruck.

George during said tangent; 😳

And then he ends up wearing blue jeans with a black gnf merch hoodie

-Sapnap

(wtf did i just write?)

please i love this 😭

he’s so 😩 and his dumpy is also so 👀

and in sweatpants!?!?! 😮‍💨 oh my god

#💌 inbox #c!spn anon

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outofcontextdiscord · 4 years

Note

Ok I need to know: why do you hate Texas Roadhouse with a burning passion?

Every winter, we visit my Mom’s family, the majority of her siblings getting together for their Dad’s birthday and the holidays. Since cooking for 6 (or more) people in my Grandpa Walter’s kitchen is a Fucking Hassle, we go out and get dinner most nights.

My Mom’s sister and/or her partner decided to go to Texas Roadhouse one night, despite everyone knowing at least a few better, and local, steak places.

I can’t recall the food at all, or even the horrific peanut-shell-floor I;ve heard about. All I remember is how fucking loud it was.

I freak out in crowds. I freak out in loud places. My sound processing is kinda Fucked Up.

It was crowded (being like, December 23rd or so), and Extremely Fucking Loud. I couldn’t hear anything. I think I even cried in there.

I’m never fucking going back to one ever.

#ask #not oocd #admin boa #the autistic life man.#ythaenagor

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cooperlaura · 3 years

Text

Audrey/Cooper fic recs

Updated list. Please read the warnings/tags.

* = these authors have written more fic that you should check out if you like the ones recommended here.

Home is Where the Heart Is by thedevilchicken (teen & up) They go back to Twin Peaks every year, at Christmas.

Untying by Astolat (mature) Audrey wrote him brief notes all that next year. Today I went to the waterfall pool. It’s really too early to swim but I went in anyway. There was no one else around, and I couldn’t hear myself breathe or think, the water was so loud. I had to get out too soon because I was cold. Are you ever lonely?

In the Dark Night, Remember Me by ElegantPi (teen & up) Cooper is freed from the Black Lodge; Audrey has left Twin Peaks for a new life in Texas. But as Cooper’s lingering nightmares threaten his sanity, Audrey discovers that the connection between them is stronger than she realized.

This Will be My Last Confession by evewithanapple (mature) AU from the end of 2x08, where Cooper doesn’t get the call about Maddy and his conversation with Audrey goes … elsewhere.

A Heart That Yearns by duh_i_read (mature) Audrey gets what she wants.

King of Infinite Space by bgrrl (mature) Dreaming men are haunted men.- Stephen Vincent Benet.

In This Distance by echoinautumn (mature) Audrey Horne doesn’t believe in ghosts, except for the one that lives in Dale Cooper.

Pilgrim’s Progress by orange_crushed (teen & up) He lies awake in an empty bed and recites the facts. They’re not comforting. He was slow when he ought to have been quick. He was quick when he ought to have been slow. True knowledge consists in knowing, he thinks. That I know nothing.

Meet Me At the Great Northern by crookedneighbor (explicit) Dale comes back to the Great Northern, where he finds Audrey Horne.

Fries and Malts by sofia_estrella (teen & up) “Diane, I’ve just been in the most interesting situation.”

Nine Tenths by Astolat (explicit, dubcon) "I’m not sorry,“ Audrey said again, behind him, gently implacable, planting hooks. "I’m not.”“I have to try to be,” he said.

Promise Made by Ingridmatthews (explicit) Dale/Audrey for Porn Battle XV

Black by Katyfaise (explicit)

Love By Numbers by Lynzee005 * (explicit) Dale Cooper has been keeping a running tally of things that have happened between him and Audrey Horne since she first asked him to dance…

Welcome to Riverdale by laughingacademy (mature) Dale Cooper and Audrey Horne have sex and talk about comic books.

Under the Sycamore Tree by st_aurafina (teen & up) After the explosion, Audrey finds herself in an unfamiliar place.

When You Lay Your Burdens Down by Lynzee005 (teen & up) If now isn’t the time to admit she’s your soulmate, then when?

Flirting with Darkness by steelneena (mature) a prompt for Halloween

The holy or the broken by maybetwice (teen & up) Some things are worth trying to forget, and Dale Cooper and Audrey Horne have spent twelve years doing just that. Some things are worth remembering.

Tomorrow’s Lovers Will Be Found by rosedamask * (explicit) On stage at the Roadhouse, truth came tall enough to scrape the ceiling. Now, in her father’s bar at the end of the night, Audrey went up on her toes to kiss him.

The wood wakes, and you are here for proof by rosedamask (general) Down at the Savings and Loan, Audrey had wished for water, and for the woods, and for Agent Cooper. The water came first.

In the Fire I Call Your Name Out by Harpalium (teen & up) Audrey and Dale. Wakeful dreams.

As Above, So Below by AmethystB (teen & up) "Funerals, huh?“ Her voice, splintered, finds his attuned senses and he almost loses all sense. [Cooper/Audrey, missing scenes]

Pinned Down by delina (teen & up) Fanart for the Trick or Treat Exchange 2019

A heart that yearns by Babble (teen and up) Special Agent Cooper has returned to the town of Twin Peaks, to enjoy a much-needed respite from the stresses of his work at the Bureau. Half a year has passed since the tragic night of Miss Twin Peaks, but the ghosts of the past still haunt Agent Cooper, and he soon discovers that it may take more than a cozy house in the woods to pull him out of the darkness.

Bet on you by youarenotmybus * (general) Set during season two, episode eight, “Drive With a Dead Girl.” What Cooper is thinking during that scene with Audrey.

Summer at the End of Time by scioscribe (mature) This is their summer, and everything is so drenched in sunshine that it feels like the world has soaked the light up like a sponge. When Cooper slides a blade of grass between his thumbs to whistle on it for her, it bleeds green against his skin, the color running like wet paint. It’s playing her song, the bassline all laced up in saddle shoes.

The Midpoint by Thorerre * (teen and up) When things got better, they decided to go away.

Ghostwood by Selden (general) Her name is Audrey, and she lives inside the Roadhouse.

Beating the House by EleosEpistrophia (mature) What if Cooper had come across Audrey the first time he went to One-Eyed Jack's?

#fic recs #a heart that yearns

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 4 years

Text

Imagine:

Erik and Reader have a special dinner to celebrate their year anniversary of being together and Erik tells Reader I love you for the first time. She’s afraid to fall in love. 🌺

“Just so you know, you look bad as fuck right now.”

“Thank you, and you look very handsome.”

Erik took multiple shots of Y/N on his iPhone while she stood in a smoking hot red dress with matching red heels and a glass of red wine in her hand. Her pressed hair was finger combed to one side of her head and her ruby lips pouted in the sexiest manner. Erik was proud of himself and this dinner he planned. One of his friends owned their own restaurant and he also catered. He had him make lobster tails, stuffed salmon, garlic mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, and a blackened chicken salad that was Erik’s favorite. Dessert included rum cake with butter pecan ice cream.

Erik wore the sleeves to his silk black dress shirt rolled up. Black slacks, and dress shoes to match. After taking one final photo of Y/N, Erik handed her the bouquet of red roses he purchased from a nice black owned flourish shop down the street from his loft in LA. Her eyes twinkled as she grabbed the bouquet, leaning in to kiss Erik softly. Y/N pressed her nose into the roses, inhaling sharply before letting out a pleasant sigh.

“You really out did yourself, babe,” Y/N pulls a single rose from the bouquet, breaking the stem and placing it in the pocket of Erik’s silk shirt, “Perfect.”

Erik couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face. Y/N giggles, bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck. She pecked his lips with her matte stained lips before using her thumb to stroke the fullness of his bottom lip.

“A year together already, can you believe that?” Y/N bashfully looks away because of Erik’s intense eyes, “I really appreciate this, Erik, no guy has every taken the time to do this for me. I feel special.”

“That’s because you are,” Erik strokes some of her hair behind her ear, “I-I wanna talk to you about something, Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes studied Erik carefully while bringing her arms down to grab his hands, “I hope it’s a good thing.” She could feel her heart pounding against her chest.

“All good,” Erik kisses her again, “Don’t worry. Let’s go eat, okay? We don’t want the food to get cold. My homeboy worked really hard on this meal, babygirl.”

“Did you hear my stomach just now?” Y/N jokes, “I mean it’s been at least six hours since I’ve eaten.”

“Oh hell no, I ain’t having that.”

Erik grabs Y/N’s hand, leading her over to a nice table set for two, patchouli candles in the middle and champagne on ice. Luckily it wasn’t a windy night since they were eating on the rooftop. Erik pulls out Y/N’s chair watching her take a seat before walking to his chair. He sat down, scooting forward a little, leaning his elbows on the ivory table cloth, his face now bathed in candle light. Y/N mirrored his moves, flipping her hair over her shoulder, brown eyes going from chestnut to tawny because of the candle light. Erik could see light freckles on her nose and shadows on her upper cheeks from her eyelashes.

“You are...fucking...breathtaking,” Erik grabs her left hand, stroking it with his thumb, “You know that?”

“Erik,” Y/N always felt shy when he complimented her like that, “Stop-“

“I can’t help it. Stop looking so damn good then maybe...never mind I don’t think I could ever stop.”

“My cheeks hurt from blushing,” Y/N looked towards her right, spotting a waitress and friend that he asked to serve tonight walking over with a tray of buttery rolls and honey butter with a salad, “Stop it.”

“You’re getting this treatment all night,” Erik popped the cork on the champagne, letting some of the fuzz spill off before pouring Y/N and himself a glass. Erik’s friend, someone Y/N instantly recognized as Sammie, a tall guy with a brush cut and walnut colored skin, came over with a bright white smile. He sat the food down after greeting them and walked away before turning back to give Erik a thumbs up. It was a guy code so Y/N didn’t interfere.

“Wow, the salad looks bomb,” Y/N grabs the tongs to help herself to some, “and is that...honey butter?”

“Mhm,” Erik grins while grabbing one, adding some butter to the middle, “Homemade and probably better than Texas Roadhouse.”

“Uh-huh, we’ll see,” Y/N forked a piece of chicken with some lettuce and green peppers. She placed the food in her mouth and began chewing. Her eyes closed and a hand came up to cover her mouth so she could speak, “This is soooo gooood. Oh my goodness. Perfect salad.”

“The chicken is well seasoned, right? Best blacken chicken since my mamas,” Erik grabbed some chicken from the salad bowl with his fork.

“Don’t eat all the chicken out!” Y/N playfully slaps his hand away, “Stop that!”

“Make me.”

“And if I do?” Y/N looked Erik up and down, challenging him.

“You won’t, that’s the point. I’ll be making you do some things.”

“Eat your roll, Erik,” Y/N shook her head, her lips twisting to fight a smile.

Erik continues eating, his eyes focusing on Y/N because he couldn’t help himself. The way he was feeling towards her was something powerful. Y/N was becoming his never ending thought. She was the best thing he never planned. He only needed to see if she felt the same way. After they finished their salad, they talked and joked like they always did. Erik’s friend, Sammie, came back again with their delicious meal: Lobster tails, stuffed salmon, garlic mashed potatoes, and creamed spinach. The food was still sizzling and Y/N’s mouth was watering and damn near drooling when her plate was placed in front of her.

“Dig in, make sure y’all chew y’all food though,” Sammie laughs, clapping Erik on the back before walking away.

“One bite of this and my mouth will be a vacuum. Suck all this food down in one bite,” Y/N says while cutting into her salmon. Erik chuckles, looking over at her with playful eyes.

“A vacuum, huh? Your mouth suck that hard?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Y/N rolls her eyes, “You turn everything into sex-“

“You set yourself up for that one, baby girl-“

“Just-no,” Y/N waved him away with an annoyed expression before exhaling, a smirk appearing on her face, “Now, can we talk?”

“I was going to wait until we finished eating, babe,” Erik chews his food slowly.

“I thought it wasn’t bad? If it’s not bad we can talk right now, right?”

“True but-“

“Baybeeeeee,” Y/N begs with that cute little pout of her lips, “Talk to me.”

“Okay,” Erik grabs his glass of champagne to finish the rest, “Here goes nothing. I’m just gonna come out and say it because I’m not gonna deny how I feel about you, girl.”

“Oh...Kay,” Y/N has a gaurded expression.

“Uh, so,” Erik clears his throat, “I love you.”

Y/N grabs hold of her napkin that was placed in her lap, looking away and out towards the city. She felt her breath halt in her chest when Erik said those words. It petrified her. Especially when they came from Erik. It took forever for him to even admit his feelings for her when they started dating and now he was being open about his affection for her?

“Y/N?” Erik called out to her softly.

“...Yeah,” Y/N blinks away from the sunset, looking down at her food. She forked a chunk of salmon, stuffing it into her mouth to chew. Thank God Sammie brought the food out on a skillet so it can stay hot but now Y/N’s tongue was burning.

“See, this is why I didn’t want to mention anything until afterwards,” Erik went back to eating he food as well. Y/N looked up at him, seeing the frown on his face and how he played with his food.

“Erik. I...I don’t know what to say. You love me? Like...you really love me?” Y/N asks with frantic eyes, “I mean, that’s heavy, Erik. You know how I feel about that.”

“I do,” Erik looked across at Y/N with earnest eyes, “Which is why I wanted to tell you and talk about it. I mean what I said, ma, I love you. I know what this is,” Erik grabs Y/N’s hand, “I’ve found a natural drug for all of my pain, depression, anxiety, and anger. It’s your voice. It’s the way you look at me. It’s your smell and your presence, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

“Babe,” Y/N lets out a harsh rush of breath, “I’m scared.”

“WHY?” Erik asks with a firm tone.

“Because LOVE failed me COUNTLESS TIMES.”

Y/N snatched her hand away, looking down at her lap so Erik wouldn’t see her eyes.

“I...I have strong feelings for you too,” Y/N spoke with a choppy voice, “your arms are strong enough to hold every fear, every beautiful broken piece of me. You don’t just make me feel complete. You complete me.”

Erik swallows spit before talking in a shaky tone, “I look at you and I can’t believe someone didn’t think you were enough...you’re my everything.”

“Don’t day these things to me if you truly don’t mean it,” Y/N couldn’t hide her cries now. She frustratingly dabs her eyes, careful not to remove makeup, “I love you too but I’m so fucking scared that if I let this happen it’ll all come crashing down. It just feels too good to be true.”

“That’s why it’s called a leap of faith, Y/N. You don’t think I’m scared too? I am. I’ve never been in love before. You know who I am and who I once was. I didn’t have time for love. So, now that I do, I want to embrace that. Do you even realize how amazing you are to me? I’ll never finish falling in love with you. If you’re not ready, I’ll wait. I’m here. I’m patient. I’m not going anywhere.”

All of his words were exactly what she wanted to hear from a man.

“I found someone I want to annoy for as long as I live.” Erik says with a smile while grabbing her hands from across the table. Y/N giggles before landing her teary eyes on Erik.

“So, are you ready for me?” Erik asks with a steady voice.

“...Yes,” Y/N took a labored breath, “I love you too and I am ready. I want to be ready. I’m tired of being afraid of my feelings for you. I’m tired of being comfortable where we are now. I want to grow with you. If it’s a dream, fuck it, I’ll accept that because this is the best I’ve ever felt.”

Erik’s whiskey colored eyes were glossy. He clenched his jaw before taking his thumb to rub the tears away. Y/N reaches across the table, grabbing his chin to make him look at her.

“We’ve come this far, we got more time, baby,” Y/N wipes Erik’s eyes with her fingers, “Hey, handsome, you got me, I got you. Let’s give this love thing a try. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Erik licks his full lips, “I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, piss you off, say stupid shit then take it back but put that all aside and you’ll never find a person who cares or loves you more than me.”

“Id rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else.”

The smile he gave her made her heart grow with delight.

——————

The sex that night was the best sex they ever had. They couldn’t even make it to his place. Erik parked his car, Kept the radio on low, stepping out of his car to her side. When he opened that door, Y/N was pulled into his large arms. Erik pressed her body against his car, hands resting on the hood of his car while his lips molded and meshed with hers. Y/N grabbed his face, running her fingers along his scruff. Erik’s groin pressed desperately into her crotch. It was heated and passionate. When Erik broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers before opening the back seat. Erik grabs Y/N’s hand, pulling her with him and over his lap in the car. The kissing continued, Y/N’s dress up and around her waist while Erik palmed her ass. It was cramped but she was so wet and needy for him.

“Take care of me,” Erik whispered to her over the Donell Jones- This Luv, playing low on the radio, “I need you to take care of me, baby girl. Can you do that for me?” His fingers were tickling her puss on the outside of her lace red thong.

“Yes, baby,” Y/N whispers against his lips.

“Thank you, baby,” Erik spoke softly before pressing his lips on her neck. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as she enjoyed Erik’s tongue on her throat and his hands slipping between her thong and wet mound. His fingers spread her honey bucket open, fingers instantly coated in her wet sweetness. She whispered please shallowly from her lungs. Erik’s fingers found its way inside of her. Three. He worked her up to it so many times. Her hips began to grind into the palm of his hand. Her fingers wrinkling the fabric of his silk shirt. She could feel her essence dripping to the seat. Heated breaths warmed Erik’s ear. He could even hear her pussy talking to him. Her pussy was letting him know that he was pleasing her. Y/N could already feel her release coming before she could even adjust. Short, sharp gasps filled the car, Y/N’s thighs squeezing Erik’s waist as her sugar flowed on his lap and back seat. His quickened heart beat thumped against her chest, his fingers still there .

“Baby,” Y/N spoke with a shivering inhale, “I wanna ride you nice and steady.”

“Take what’s yours, baby,” Erik kisses Y/N’s cleavage, “Take all this big dick. It’s yours. All yours to play with.”

Y/N loved that a lot. More than she could put into words. She sat back in his lap, undoing his pants and pulling them down and around his upper thighs. His dick was then pulled out of its compressed confines, a growl coming from Erik. Y/N stroked him while sucking on his bottom lip. Lifting slightly, Y/N places Erik’s dick between her folds before pressing him in between her right walls. She swallowed him with her pussy. Erik’s head went back, eyes closed and mouth hanging open. Now that she was fully filled, Y/N uses all her strength to ride Erik’s hard. She purposely made her ass clap against his upper thighs. Short, harsh, gasps flowed from her mouth as Erik stared at her beatific expression.

“Damn, baby, that’s how you take care of me,” Erik massaged his tongue with hers, “Yes, that’s how you handle all this dick.”

“Fuck,” Y/N felt Erik suck on her neck. She would have a hickie there in the morning.

“Feels so good, baby, don’t stop. Take care of me first.” Erik begged.

“Okay, Daddy,” Y/N bounced. She grabs the back of the couch, “her ass arched while giving him her all. She could feel her pussy pulling on his dick. Y/N could only imagine how Erik must feel. She knows her pussy is tight. She knows Erik’s dick is really thick. Imagine a unyielding pussy and Erik’s girthy length moving against eachother. He could feel everything. She could feel everything.

“Fuckkkk, your pussy is so tight on me, girl.”

“Uhhh!” Y/N quivers, “Damn, baby you’re so thick.”

Erik started moving his hips to meet her strokes. They fucked eachother in that back seat. The rose Y/N placed in Erik’s shirt pocket was smashed and losing pedals.

“Shit, girl. I’ma cum in you,” Erik grabs her waist, moving her himself, “let Daddy take care of that pussy now.”

His hips shot off into hers like a loaded gun. She was extremely wet. His dick slid in and out easily. She could still feel his length and thickness but since she was so damn drenched it made the experience even better. Y/N has never been that wet before with another man. Ever. Erik has the magic touch.

“Ooooo, fuck, yes, mmm, babyeee, oooo,” Y/N pressed a single hand against the foggy glass of the window, “Yes, Daddy, give it to me, ahhhhh-“

Y/N sucked in a quick breath before cumming on him. He still stroked her just as fast and hard. His balls slapped her ass and his fingers squeezed her hips.

“Mmm, Damn, I’m about to bust all in you, shit don’t make no sense, fuck, Ugh.” Erik’s eyes widened before a harsh and uneven breath escaped his mouth. His body shook as his cum fired off into her puss. He hissed heavily before placing his sweaty forehead against Y/N’s shoulder.

“I love you. So damn much.” Y/N spoke with a weak tone, “I feel like we just remade that iconic titanic sex scene.”

“This one was better,” Erik shuddered before placing a weak kiss to Y/N’s cheek, “I love you too, baby girl.”,

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #nahimjustfeelingit-writes #erik killmonger

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blackssuunn-mandoandyodito · 4 years

Text

Tabaco y Brea

Part 7

Pairing: Javier Peña x female! DEA reader

Warnings: angst, brief mention of sex, embarrassment? If you think I should add something, let me know

Summary: Javi thinks about everything that led both of you here, and worries about what Escobar said.

A/N: well here it is! I hope you enjoy it. I wrote another part before this one that has, mmm, smut, I'll post it but I'm not sure when, keep an eye out. Also, I changed some things shown in the series a little bit, but nothing major. Thank you for reading!

Note: this is slightly edited, just a few format stuff.

Masterlist•Chapter 6• AO3 account

If you were to ask Javier what his craziest years have been, he wouldn’t even hesitate to tell you with certain fondness in his eyes, that both 1979 and 1980 were close to his breaking point.

When he arrived in Colombia in the early 70's, he didn't expect to get so attached to the land, to the people. Often, he came off as an asshole who was only there to do his job and fuck his way through Colombia. And usually, he had no problem with portraying that facade. It made everything easier, no one tried to mess with him or get close. He could sit silently on his desk and smoke as much as he wanted for as long as he desired, no one but the big bosses would mess with him. He was always in his own world.

The real world though, felt like it was falling apart every day, without thinking about stopping or at least slowing down. Javier always felt like he had to put it back together, which was ironic because if he wasn’t able to keep himself together, how much could he do for the world?

Everything had a dual perspective for him since the day he arrived. Knowing two languages gives you a certain advantage that changes slightly the way you see things. Sometimes the differences were strikingly wide, and sometimes he couldn’t tell the two apart. The way foreigners saw things was colder, insensitive. The locals felt things, mourned, and thought more about the people than politics.

Javier was always torn between the two. He was a foreigner but always tried his best to not act like one. That didn't stop him from fucking up greatly multiple times though.

Once, while he's looking at some pictures of a roadhouse, the sound of the Ambassador arguing with someone over the phone reaches his ears.

'And what the hell am I supposed to do with a girl who's mom is FBI? I have enough petulant bullshit to deal with Javier here"

That makes him frown. Is he really that annoying?

"I don't give a fuck if she was the best of her class, I don't need more agents."

It's not usual to hear the Ambassador swear, so Javier knows it must be something that really bothers her if she's so angry.

Trying not to alert anyone else about it, he sits more straight and leans his head slightly towards the Ambassador's office, trying to hear better.

"If you're gonna send her anyways, why the fuck did you bother to call me then?" There's a short pause. "Well thanks for the courtesy between agents, it's no fucking help. Goodbye."

Silence settles over the office again after that, and Javier didn't find out much anyways so he doesn't dwell on it and keeps reading about the new Narco that's growing quickly over México, with base in Nuevo Laredo. Something about it tells him it’s tied to Escobar in some way.

Days later, he finds out he's going to have a new partner.

He doesn't care too much either. His partners always run away after some months. No one can handle this war for too long, and he's not sure how he's pulling through it. It weighs heavy on his shoulders. It makes him wake up sweaty from a nightmare, scares any kind of hunger away, reminds him why he should never get attached to anyone everyday. And still, he's doing much better than the people he's supposed to be helping. Several times he feels close to losing hope, to giving up. Every morning he wakes up, looks at the mirror and wonders what he's doing, why he's doing it. He's breaking, falling down, giving up. He wants to run away but it feels like betrayal, to just drop everything and go back to Texas as if nothing happened. He wants to, but knows he won't be able to live without guilt every day of his life.

The guilt, the sorrow, everything is suffocating him. There's not a day when fresh air fills his lungs, the gun tucked inside his jeans feels like it weighs a ton and nothing makes sense anymore. He's working on autopilot.

And then you arrive. That pretty, smart girl from the Ventura Q of the DEA, top of her class, arrives and twists his entire life.

You, with your bright eyes and your bright smile and your love for life. With amazement showing in your features when you look at the city once he takes you to a viewpoint. You, with the little sounds of pleasure you make when you're eating something he bought for you to taste. With the addiction you have for dancing he knows came from your close relationship with your father. You, with your giggles and your little screams when he takes you to see The Shining.

You, with the love for little things he has never felt before.

And he's not a man who cares about many things, if he's being honest. He didn't know how overwhelming love feels, how it changes the way you see life once the sensation of pure ecstasy and happiness fills you and pumps through your veins.

But, once, as you both read through the reports of other agents after a raid, he stops for a second and turns to look at you.

And fuck if what he feels in that moment doesn't scare him shitless.

It's not even a special moment. You're just frowning and circling a lot of things with a pink marker as you huff. But you manage to look like something his imagination would create to try and pull him out of self pity while doing so, tired from hours of nonstop working but still shining like a star, as marvelous as a work of art. Maybe something beyond that, something he doesn’t have a word for. He knows you're real because someone as dark and twisted as him could never create something as astonishing and beautiful as you.

He shouldn't feel anything, he knows it's a stupid decision to pay attention to the feeling inside his chest.

But he does, he pays attention, and it's whispering this is how love feels. This is what you've been missing.

Needless to say, it takes his breath away.

He falls in love.

He falls in love, without brakes or any kind of control that could stop him from doing so. He lets himself fall in love, embraces it but doesn't do anything about it. He yearns, he aches. He cries sometimes. He laughs others. He gets drunk and sings the songs the guys at Texas used to play when he still was the Deputy there. He still can’t sleep, but now there are entirely different reasons behind it.

Sometimes, when he feels really good and he has a good day, he indulges in domestic fantasies that he knows won’t ever happen because he most likely won’t make it out alive from this mess. If the probability was small before, now that he has someone to lose and therefore protect, the probability is practically non-existent.

No, he doesn't do anything about it, but he refuses to let go of the feeling. It helped him see there are still things worth living and fighting for, after all.

And it comes to bite him in the ass when he hears Escobar shout "me saludas a tu papi" (say hello to your daddy for me) at you when he almost dies just after days of tension between you two, after he fucked up in Cali.

Why did he have to fuck up in Cali, of all places? Couldn't he fuck up in Medellín?

Then he fucks up a little more. In for a penny, in for a pound.

----

"Have you ever been in love before?"

Asking those words after what you've just done seems out of place. Asking the man you just fucked through the mattress if he knows about love comes as almost rude, but aren't nights supposed to be for this kinda thing?

Javier shakes his head. "No, I don't think so." he answers, voice low and tired. "I was gonna get married, but I don't think I loved her."

You prop into your elbow, turning to look at him. "What happened?"

He closes his eyes and takes a drag from his Marlboro. "She told me she was pregnant just to tie me to her. The day before the wedding, she called me," his voice turns bitter and somewhat disappointed, "and said she had gotten her period. I fled from there and drove without stopping for fear of her brothers following me."

You know who he’s talking about. Lorraine isn't someone he talks about much, but when he does it's never with a good tone, though never anything rude. Javi isn't much of talking anyways.

You nod and plop back to the bed. Silence fills the room again, hot and foggy from the sweat you worked up to with your activities.

This is a bad idea, you know it. Fucking and not actualy having a settled relationship is maybe the worst decision you've made with Javi, and the talks that always follow just make everything worse.

He lets out all the sounds he wants to, and you're sure he's not like that with other women. He's a sentimental man, sure, but he's too scared to let someone he doesn't know get too close, even if he aches for that kind of attention. He communicates a thousand things by touch, things that make you ask yourself if they're real or if you're only making everything up, too hopeful. You figure he feels safe in your embrace, thinking it's worth risking your working dynamic and your friendship by your actions.

You're happy to provide it, no problem. You just wonder how long will it last before you break or one of you gets hurt.

You cannot bring yourself to care enough to stop.

"What about you?" He asks. Summers in México come to mind, along with days of the training in Ventura and parties in California, different names popping up. None of them make you feel quite as Javier always does with just a glance.

"I don't think so either." you answer honestly, "Not that I can remember, at least."

He shrugs. "If you can't remember any, then there isn't any. Love is not something you can forget about."

Javi also tends to become slightly poetic after a good fuck and a cigarette.

His ribs are still a little bit bruised from the gunshots of a few days ago, purple spots covering his waist and his chest. And you don’t like to think back to that day, it still haunts you. But every time you and Javi fucked in between that day and today, you have to ball your hands into fists and clench your teeth to stop your tears from falling. You have to remind yourself it’s just sex. Yes, you agreed to be exclusive but in no other way could you be considered a couple. Besides, relationships between agents are forbidden.

(Not that it would stop you, but still)

“And have you ever wanted to be in love?”

Javier frowns at the ceiling.

“I don’t think we have much of a choice when love comes our way. Either you fall in love and suffer, or you fall in love and embrace it.”

----

If he only knew.

Javier and Steve both turn to look at you, the question marks in their eyes are evident to you. You stand up, as clueless as them when you walk to the door.

“Bera,” the Ambassador’s voice comes from her office with too much volume. It makes you jump slightly. “Come here.”

Once inside, she gestures you to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. It feels like coming to the principal’s office as a little kid who got in trouble.

She just stares at you for a few seconds, not saying anything.

That’s never a good sign.

The silence becomes heavy, and you have to push down the urge to squirm under her stare. Once she speaks, you wish she hadn’t.

“Are you sure about what you’re doing?”

She doesn’t even have to say it aloud for you to understand what she’s talking about.

Fuck, is it really that obvious? You and Javier don’t even act different in front of anyone. There’s not even a big change to begin with. It's just sex. You’re not staring lovingly at each other’s eyes or playing footsie under the desk, Javier even stopped buying food for you only, now you have to share with him.

You take a deep breath, torn between feigning ignorance or acknowledging the situation with as much dignity as possible.

She doesn’t even give you time to think.

“Don’t even try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m old, I’ve seen some stuff and you can’t play dumb with me.”

Well, there goes that.

“Can I ask something first?”

That surprises her. She breaks from the intimidating posture from before and leans back on her chair, nodding.

“How did you notice?”

She laughs, interlacing her fingers in front of her and looking at you with amusement in her eyes.

“Honey, I noticed even before anything happened. You two are obvious as hell. Even a little kid could notice it by staying two minutes inside the same room as you.”

That doesn’t make any sense. Before Cali, even before Steve, you were never sure about Javier’s feelings. You knew he wasn’t indifferent to you, but with the way he carries himself around, it’s difficult to figure out if what he’s showing is really what he’s feeling.

You decide against saying anything else and nod. She sighs, shaking her head as she looks at you.

“I just hope you don’t regret it later.”

Well, you’re right there with her on that one.

She ushers you outside and you quickly stand up, forcing your legs to work at a normal pace and not run away like your brain urges them to.

Just as you’re about to get out of the office, you hear her speak again, but the words are not meant for you to hear.

“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him and then bring him back to life just to cut his balls off if he ever hurts her.”

You cover your mouth to stop the giggle from escaping, and walk to your desk with a smile on your face.

Javi arches his eyebrow at you. “Everything okay?”

You bite your lip. “Yeah, everything’s great.”

He smiles at you and winks. You chuckle, shaking your head and turning to read the reports you have to deliver that day. Most likely than not, you’ll have to say late to finish. Javier too, just like the day before yesterday.

Blood runs hot down your body as you remember. It had been an amazing night. Javi’s desk has a crack on the edge to prove it.

Realization hits you.

Oh God, so that’s why she noticed.

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