#I was just listening to Season 4 music and it made me reminisce on him

[quibbs126]

Season 4 was peak Garmadon in my opinion

[thehare1234]

Song shuffle- QL Edition

I saw this post by @ppeonppeonhan and thought it was really fun so I wanted to give it a try! Basically it's just shuffling your on repeat playlist, then trying to match it to a QL character/ship. This combines two of my favourite things: TV show analysis and music analysis so I thought it would be fun, and it was :)

1. Feel Good by Charlotte Cardin- Uea and King, BedFriend

This song is basically about being in a really intense and passionate relationship with someone. A lot of the lines are focusing on the intense physical desire for someone You make me feel good/ Ta main sur ma taille/ Ensemble dans le taxi/ C'est vraiment super sexy . It's being with someone who just physically and emotionally makes you "feel good". Anyways it's also just lowkey a really horny song but also about being in love so of course I thought of these two.

2. Rudimental by Mei Jun- Zhou Shu Yi and Gao Shi De, We Best Love

This song is about someone reminiscing on a past relationship, seeing the ghosts of it in their life and having a hard time moving on from it. I can't help but imagine what you're up to/ I can't shake all the things I used to know about you I think this song would apply to both ZSY and GSD in We Best Love, season 2. Most of the song I would say mirrors what ZSY was feeling, the confusion of what he did wrong and why GSD left him We never fought about nothing/ Now was that a you thing or was it all because of me too? Finally, I think the end of the song really leans into more GSD's perspective of the events with I wanted to tell you all about it, would've been no use, no use, no use The song is pretty bittersweet, and really shows someone who is not ready to move on from a relationship, but is trying to which is really where I feel these characters are at the beginning of season 2.

3. Baby by Summer Walker- Adachi and Kurosawa, Cherry Magic

Yay! An excuse to talk about Cherry Magic. This song is super short and sweet with someone talking about their crush/love: Got my heart workin' overtime/ Got my mind going crazy/ Either way long you alive, you my baby This song could work for a lot of couples but with lyrics like: Hey baby, ooh/ And I just can't get right to it/ If you leave I just might lose it, lose it , it's just a little bit unhinged enough that I could picture Kurosawa singing it (maybe composing a poem of it in his head who knows).

4. Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter- Prapai and Sky, Love in the Air

Listen, did Prapai use questionable methods to get Sky to talk to him? Yes. But you can't deny that this man was obsessed with Sky. Sky truly embodied the And I got this one boy/ And he won't stop calling line to the max. Also: I can't relate to desperation/ My give-a-fucks are on vacation, like my man was truly embodying this vibe. Also my other option for this was Hira and Kiyoi so idk if that would have been better.

5. Nobody but You by Sonder and Jorja Smith- Kang Seo Joon and Han Ji Woo, To My Star

Alright this song is super angsty. It's essentially about two people talking about a break up, one is asking for a second chance while the other is figuring out whether it's worth it. The chorus has them doing a back and forth: Don't think you cared about me/ Oh, girl I care about you/ But you don't care 'bout nobody/ Nobody but you. Which I think summarizes how Han Ji Woo is a stoic person, but he really cares for Kang Seo Joon and has made mistakes. The lines: Swore I'd be there, swore that I'd catch your fall/ I guess I couldn't handle it mirror his decision in the show where he harmed KSJ. Overall this song is about two people who still have immense love for one another, where one person was seriously harmed by the other. They are trying to figure out if it's the right idea to try a relationship again, will things really be different?

6. Must’ve Been A Ghost by Proxima Parada - Shin Ki Tae and Lee Wan, Our Dating Sim

This song is essentially about someone being ghosted, and their frustration with that. I could see the whole song being Shin Ki Tae's perspective in Our Dating Sim: Even a 'no' would be alright/ Even a 'sorry but not today'/ A sign of life would bring relief or If I call you, you ain't gonna answer/See my problem is I want you/ To know who I am. I also think this line: Are you one of those people/ That would rather disappear/ Than show up and disagree? really captures the show well, because that is the main issue with Lee Wan. His fear of being rejected or seeing Shin Ki Tae uncomfortable with his feelings leads him to run away. He was too scared to stick around for a response and instead chose to run away.

7. Too Well by Reneé Rapp- Ritsu and Masumi, The End Of The World With You

Too Well has Renee Rapp reminiscing about a break up that she hasn't fully moved on from. She cycles through anger and sadness between I'm back where I started again/ Cryin' and callin' my friends/ This shit never ends and I still see your face/ I hate hearin' your name/ you're my biggest mistake

I think this song captures how Masumi is feeling before the events of The End of the World With You. He still hadn't fully moved on from Ritsu and was stuck in this negative cycle. I think the chorus also describes his thought process well:

I get so sick of myself/ Can't stop overthinking/ I heard you're happy somewhere else/ But I don't forget too well.

8. Pears by Weston Estate- Jae Won and Kim Ji Hyun, The Eighth Sense

This song has a really dream-like feeling to it, but also seems to filled with regret and angst. I think the overall vibe of it matches well with how I felt watching the Eighth Sense. The band who made the song described it as: "we were able to drown out all the noise and just focus on music during a time where we had a lot of self-doubt. Making ‘Pears’ was an outlet for us to talk about how that uncertainty was affecting our relationship with ourselves and the people we love." I think this song mirrors a lot of Jae Won's emotions throughout the whole show, especially the pre-chorus: Sometimes I feel alone/ Hide in my secrets you need to know/ I cannot feel no more/ All of my demons with me at home .

9. Red Wine Supernova by Chapell Roan - Mon and Sam, Gap

It's literally illegal for me to not give this song to a GL couple lol. The whole idea of this song is detailing the feeling of having feelings for a girl and is overall just fun and raunchy. For this I have to give it to my girls Mon and Sam, as much as their relationship was a little more angsty than that. At the end of the day, the lyrics: Baby, why don't you come over? Red win supernova, falling into me describe an intense (supernova) wave of feelings, and attraction to another person, and Mon and Sam have plenty of that.

10. John Redcorn by Sir - Ray and Sand, Only Friends

This song is based on the idea of someone being in love with someone who also has someone else. This person is willing to go through a lot of pain and suffering as long as in the end they are chosen by the person they love. I think it really gives Sand's perspective of the whole Sand/Ray/Mew mess with lines like: I really hate that I give a fuck/ Pressin' my line, I don't want to pick up/ I play hard to get, she keep callin' my bluff or You don't ever bring me good news babe/ I just wanna be the one you choose, babe.

+ Bonus. November by Mahalia (feat. Stormzy)- Nomoto and Kasuga, She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat

Ok, this was only supposed to be 10 songs but then THIS was the next song and it fits so perfectly with their relationship that I had to include it.

Looking at the chorus: I'll be right there till the flame turns to an ember/ I'll be right there until you can't remember/ How we met that winter night back in November/ I'll be right there, I'll be right there forever

This is just a classic love song about lasting love. It's about being there for someone through thick and thin and establishing a life together after the passion or honeymoon phase. There's no other couple I think embodies this more than them <3

OK. That's it, this got really long. But, it was really fun so I can't complain. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong or bash my music taste haha

[vheavxly]

Breaking Free

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, Elliot and Jules, Fluff, Mentions of drug addiction and Parent death.

Summary: Sometimes all you and rue need is each other

Reader x Rue bennett ( Platonic )

When rue told you that elliot and jules hooked up, you didn’t know how to react. You and elliot had been dating for 3 months. 3 months of love and devotion you put into the relationship only to have your heart broken in return.

You didn’t believe her at first. you were always under the impression that jules hated elliot’s guts. considering the interrogation she gave elliot that she forced you and rue to partake in with her, never in a million years would you have ever thought they would hook up.

It wasn’t until elliot admitted it once you confronted him. As he glossed over the details of their hook up, your heart was breaking in your chest. Not only did they hook up but they did it while you and rue were just in the other room.

It took a lot for you and rue to recover from this heartbreak. you both spent countless nights holding each other and crying while listening to rue’s breakup playlist she made when jules left her at the train station only a few months prior.

Looking back at that time made you want to laugh. you cannot believe you were so heartbroken about a guy who didn’t give a damn about you. looking back at you and rue back then and now made you want to cry in a good way.

Rue was now clean, not having touched a single drug in days. she looked better too, clean hair and clean clothes. you two spent hours deep cleaning her room along with leslie until it was practically unrecognizable. you were insanely proud of your best friend and she was insanely proud of you.

She would immediately gain a smile on her face when witnessing you walk into her house without red eyes or dried mascara rolling down your face. She noticed you cut a few inches off your hair and along with her, started taking care of your appearance more.

“Hey remember our high school musical phase?” You asked rue, giggling as you remembered how obsessed with the movie you and rue were at age 8-10

“Oh my god do not bring that up” Rue groaned playfully while turning to her side and facing her back towards you. the two of you were laying on her bed while watching the newest season of love island.

“Oh come on don’t tell me you forgot” you dramatically gasped while sitting up and turning the tv volume down.

“Oh i would never forget it. Remember when I dressed up as troy for halloween?” Rue stated while reminiscing of that day

“And I dressed up as Gabriella” You nodded, smiling as memories of that day flashed through your mind.

“And gia as kelsie” you and rue said in union while giggling at the memory of 4 year old gia wearing glasses and hat with lyrics in her hands.

Robert, rue’s dad kept a photo of the 3 of you dressed up in his wallet for years. He was also a big fan of the movies. he always sang along with you and rue and would sometimes play the role of darbus or sharpay when needed.

When he died that’s when rue started to hate the movie. She always cried when she remembered the times they’d blast breaking free in the car on the way to school. She felt bad loving something she loved with her dad when he was no longer with her.

She felt like she was betraying him

Slowly she started to get over the hate she felt for the movie. After much convincing from gia, the 3 of you watched it again after years and she realized that instead of frowning at the memories with her dad, she smiled at them.

Rue knew that cherishing these memories instead of trying to erase them would help her instead of harm her. Rue felt bad for always snapping at you when you’d bring anything high school musical related up in a conversation. She hated how she basically forced you to hate the movie too.

“I miss your dad” You said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Robert was basically a second father to you. The bennett family happily welcomed you with open arms whenever you would be there. you had your own spot at the dinner table and even your own mug.

“Me too” rue said placing you hand on yours and turning back so she was facing you. Rue had an idea in her head and suddenly shot up from her bed. you grew confused as she ran to the other side of her room, into her closet.

You squinted your eyes as you studied the clothing in her hands. Suddenly it hit you as you smiled with nothing but glee

She held your old halloween costumes

“You kept them?” You asked laughing as you unfold your old Gabriella costume. it was nothing but a flower dress and a white science lab coat.

“Of course” rue replied while looking over at the white tracksuit in her hands. Her dad let her barrow one of his as she didn’t have one. She remembered putting it on for the first time as a child and vowed to be the best troy bolton East highland as ever seen.

you and rue stared at each other and grinned. she nodded at you making you squeal and rush to her laptop. you typed in “Breaking free” and clicked onto the video you haven’t watched in so long.

Little did you know, Elliot and jules had driven over to Rue’s house. They wanted to desperately get their girls back as they realized how idiotic they were to ever do what they did. To jules, Rue was her first love.

But to Elliot, you were his something new. He had been “in love” before but after being with you, He realized that the girls he were with before do not compare. They always judged him for his drug use and the fact that he was not close to his family.

But you were different

You never judged him for taking drugs. you were understanding of his past with his family and never wronged him for it. He has been haunted by the look in your eyes and the tears down your face when he admitted to cheating on you with jules. It was something he would forever regret and he won’t stop until you were his again.

Not knowing you both were happy without them, Elliot and jules walked around the house to rue’s bedroom window. They knew that if they tried the front door leslie would most likely slam the door in their face.

They peeked through rue’s bedroom window only to be shocked at the sight. There the both of you were

You were dancing around the room in your flower dress that still fit you like it was yesterday while singing to Gabriella’s parts.

Rue was across the room, running around her room while singing along to troy’s parts while having a true smile on her face.

“Can you feel it building like a wave the ocean just can’t control” Rue sang while doing a short moonwalk just like troy did in the movie

“Connected by a feeling ohhh, in our very souls” you sang, facing her as you strutted towards her to hold her hand

Leslie walked towards rue’s room to inform the two girls that dinner is almost ready and was surprised at the sight of rue twirling you around while you both sang along to a song she hasn’t heard in a very very long time.

Leslie peaked her head inside the room and almost teared up at the sight. she hasn’t seen a sight so familiar in a long time and is glad that rue’s finally happy again.

no drugs

no jules

Elliot and jules felt hurt that you both seemed better off without them. they both knew that you two wouldn’t ever get together romantically but the thought of the love of their lives being happy without them stung.

Elliot wished he never laughed and refused whenever you’d ask him if you can sing to high school musical songs. He thought it was childish that a high school girl was so obsessed with a children’s movie.

But looking at the way you and rue danced along to the song while dancing made him want to go back in time and soak up the opportunity of you being in his arms singing along to Breaking free.

Jules felt no different, She grew envious at the thought of rue being happy without her. she was so used to being rue’s happiness that it became her source of happiness and without it, she was empty.

The two blondes looked at each other and realized that they lost the two best things to ever happen to them.

Gia walked outside of her room, wanting to know what the loud noise echoing through the house was only to see her mother outside her older sisters door recording whatever’s inside.

Gia moved past her mother to see her two sisters dancing along to one of her favorite songs. she smiled as her favorite part was coming soon

“soarin’ ” you sang as rue twirled you so you were facing leslie and gia.

“flyin’ ” rue waved her arms around happily as she noticed her mother and little sisters smiles directed at them. rue was glad to be the reason her family smiled and not the reason her family cried.

you both noticed gia fiddling her fingers, a sign she wanted to join in but not wanting to bother or stop the girls. you immediately ran towards the two women and grabbed both of their hands. rue was clapping and cheering them on from behind.

Leslie yelped as she was suddenly brought into a circle between her daughters and playfully groaned but sang along. she knew deep down she also wanted to join in.

The 4 women were dancing in a circle while screaming along to the lyrics. they knew that no matter how bad the hard times are, the good ones make up for it all.

Rue looked around at her family. gia was looking at herself in the mirror and singing along, you and leslie were holding hands and playfully singing to each other.

Rue realized that no matter what happens with her and jules, it doesn’t matter because in the end

all she needs is you.

[karasunoparkinglot]

Welcome Home (Reiner x Reader)

• Word Count: ~2.3k

• Pairing: Reiner Braun x fem!reader 

• Warnings: Possible Spoilers. Beginning of Season 4.

You had been waiting for this day for a while now - in fact, you’ve been waiting years. The last time you saw Reiner was when you were both twelve years old, just before he left for Paradis island. You were meant to go with him and the others, but you were gravely injured not long before, making you unworthy to be one of the nine.

However, you grew up with the group that became the nine. You were close with all of them, going through hell and back in training together. But the person you were closest to was Reiner Braun. You did not know why the two of you got on so well, something just, clicked. Maybe it was because you always had a crush on him, always found yourself near him.

The last day you saw one another, you both admitted to having a crush on each other. But you were kids. You doubted that Reiner would still feel the same after nine years, especially after everything he had been through. But for you, he never left your mind. You tried to date different men, see other people, even got with a few women, but no matter how good the time you spend with them was, all you could think about was  him .

How did he look now? How did he act? Did he remember you? 

Those were the thoughts running through your head as you waited for the warriors to return. You stood with his family - yours had died just over a year ago, and the Brauns were nice enough to take you in, not that you needed it, but it was nice not to be alone.

Your foot impatiently tapped the floor as the warriors came flooding in. Gabi Braun was the first one to catch your attention, not that you saw her - for a little girl, she had a loud voice. You knew she was somewhere in the crowd with  him. You bit your lip nervously as the soldiers hugged their families, tears of happiness streaming down their faces.

Moments later, Gabi emerged from the crowd, and just behind her stood Reiner. You felt your breath get caught in your throat. You knew he would look different, there was no doubt, but he looked so grown up, that it caught you a little of guard. Of all the times you envisioned how he looked over the years, you never really came close. His hair was nearly identical to when he was younger, and his golden orbs caught your attention like they always did. Though before they use to show a glint of mischievousness, but now they were hard and emotionless. His face was chiselled, though furrowed with deep lines. His goatee fit his face well, and you could not believe how handsome he had become.

“Reiner,” his mum called, catching his attention. He looked over. “You must be tired. Come home and rest.” His expression softened when he saw his family, though you were sure he had not seen you yet as you were standing behind everyone.

“Mom...I think I will.” Reiner walked over to his family, they greeted each other politely, but no big questions were asked as they started to make their way to the house. You swallowed nervously, still hidden anyway, he still had not seen you. You let everyone walk by, and as Reiner passed, you found your voice.

“Reiner…” His head turned, and instantly his eyes widened. You felt a weight off your shoulders - he recognized you. All the nervous worry you had been feeling that day washed away, and you smiled softly up at him. It was a first, to look up at him, when you were younger you were always the same height. But now he stood over six foot, and it was the first time you were happy you were on the taller side.

He stood a step closer to you and mumbled your name as if he was unsure it was you he was actually seeing. You nodded, suddenly, a different type of nerves filled every fibre in your body. You could not believe after nine years; he still made you feel like that.

“How are you?” he asked. You could see he was battling with himself whether to step closer or not, his arms were slightly raised as if he wanted to go for a hug, but decided against it.

“I’m good.” Your eyes glanced away, feeling slight heat rushing to your cheeks. “How are you?” you forced herself to look back up.

“Good,” the same soft expression from before returned to his face, “happy to be home.”

The two of you walked beside each other as you made your way back to the Braun household. Not many words were exchanged between the two of you, knowing that any questions you asked could lead to something far deeper than intended. You mainly glanced over to him multiple times, trying your best not to get caught checking him out, though you were sure he knew.

Reiner sat at the head of the table, you were to his left, slowly finishing your food as Gabi explained the events of what happened the days prior. You listened carefully, smiling softly, memories of training as a child flooding through your mind.

“She reminds me of you,” Reiner whispered beside you, catching you off guard.

“Me?” You chuckled lightly, and shook your head, “I was far off. Think your memory is a little off.”

“Okay, maybe you weren’t as loud, thankfully,” you both lightly chuckled. “But how Gabi goes around things, how her brain works in battle reminds me of how you were during training. Even though you were not as strong or fast, you would always win because of your plans.” You looked to your food, trying to hide your rosy cheeks, feeling touched he remembered such a small detail. “We needed your plans out there.” Your eyes widened at the last comment. You knew ‘out there’ meant Paradis Island.

Before you could reply, the conversation moved from Gabi to Reiner. Questions were asked about his time at Paradis Island, and you were surprised he was happy to talk about it. You kept your eyes on the empty plate as he spoke. With each word, your hand tightened into a fist. It sounded terrible. You should have been there to help Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt and Marcel. Suddenly, you stood, the scarping of the chair across the floor caught everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me,” you nodded, picking up your plate and heading to the kitchen. The plate clattered as you dropped it into the sink. Your hand gripped the sides of the counter, holding your body weight as your head hung low. Memories swamped your brain. After a moment, you lifted your left hand and balled it into a fist, before slamming it down onto the counter.

“What’s wrong?” Reiner entered the kitchen, seeing your actions. You jumped at his sudden presence beside you; you only met his eyes for a moment.

“Nothing.” You answered.

He huffed a laugh, making your eyebrows pull together. He leaned his back on the counter and brought his arms across his chest. “Somethings never change.” You looked up at him, your frown unchanging. “You were like this when we were kids. Stubborn-”

“I’m not stubborn!”

“-and you would never admit when something was wrong.”

He gave you a knowing look. You sighed and looked back down to the sink. You closed your eyes, trying to relax. “I should have been there,” you said after a moment of silence. “I should have gone with you guys to Paradis Island.”

“Would have been useless with your injury.”

“I could have turned into a Titan and then healed!” You pushed yourself upright, unable to control your emotions.

“And then you wouldn’t be here right now!” He stood tall, towered over you with a hard expression. You swallowed nervously, but you did not back down.

“You said it yourself, with my plans maybe we could have won!”

“Maybe. Or maybe we could have still lost, and I would have lost you too!” You looked away, breathing hard. You did not know what else to say. You thought you were past the situation, that your anger had dwindled over time that you were unable to go to Paradis Island, but talking about it again relit the fire inside. “I’m glad I could come home to you,” his voice was softer. He placed his hand on top of yours.

You cheeks flared up again, and your heart was now racing for a different reason. You looked to him again; his eyes were soft, a touch of a smile on his face. You felt yourself start to calm. He always had that effect on you. Your temper was always an issue of sorts, mainly when to came to Porco. The two of you clashed like two bulls, and Reiner was always able to calm you down before any fists were thrown, the same way Peick was able to clam down Porco.

Suddenly, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his torso. He was surprised by the action; nevertheless, he returned it - wrapping an arm around your shoulders and his other hand on the back of your head. “I’m happy your home,” you mumbled into his chest, tears stinging your eyes.

“I’m happy to be home too,” he replied, placing a gentle kiss on top of your head.

The two of you stood like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company. You looked up, placing your chin on his chest. “Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

It was chilly as the two of you walked around. You knew Reiner did not want to talk about what had happened, so instead, the two of you reminisced as you recognized places you spent time together at as kids. The two of you talked and laughed. You were worried that with everything that happened, he would have PTSD, so it was nice to see he could relax and push away the horrible memories.

“Do you remember the one area where we could always hear music?” She asked. He nodded. “You still can hear it.”

“Really? I thought the woman would be dead by now. Wasn’t she like ninety?”

“Something like that, but still going strong.” You grinned, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. “Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“How to dance! Don’t tell me you forgot all those hours of me teaching you.”

Reiner chuckled. “I couldn’t forget even if I tried.”

“Good.” You stoped, four buildings surrounded the area you both stood in. You faced him, the music already entering your ears. “Dance with me.” You expected him to argue against it - that he didn’t want to, but instead, he took a step closer to you, one hand on your waist and the other in the air, waiting for you to take it.

“If you insist,” he smirked. You felt your stomach flip at the unexpected action. Your eyes glanced to your feet as you took his hand, your cheeks burned red, your other hand landing on his shoulder. After a few moments of moving gently to the music, you leaned forward and placed your head on his chest and closed your eyes, enjoying the moment. A few words were exchanged, though you mainly hummed in reply to what he said.

Suddenly, the music started to speed up, throwing off your rhythm. Reiner took a step back, opening the gap between the two of you. You giggled as he lifted his hand and rotated his wrist, making you spin on the spot.

“REINER!” You laughed as he continued spinning you.

“What? I just want to see all of you,” he replied nonchalantly. You blushed at the comment.

“Reiner, please! I’m getting really dizzy!”

“Alright then,” he stopped you, and just before you fell, he grabbed your waist. You looked at him, and even with the dizziness, you found yourself unable to stop your smile.

“Now I see two of you,” you muttered, your hands raised, and before he could say anything, you planted your hands on his cheeks hard. He winced at the impact. “Sorry, I didn’t know which was your real face.”

Reiner said nothing, and to your surprise, he leaned into your touch. His smile was small when he turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on your hand.

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbled, his hand left your waist and placed it on top of yours. “I never stopped thinking about you. You kept me going. I wanted to come back to you.”

You met eyes, both a dash of pink colouring your cheeks. You swallowed nervously before leaning forward; you glanced down to his lips for a moment before back to his eyes. He did the same. You pushed to your tiptoes; your lips hovered over his. His hot breath mixed with yours, he did not move, so slowly, you closed your eyes and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his.

At first, he did not move, and you were ready to pull away before his grip on your waist tightened, and his other hand moved from yours and placed it on your cheek. It was as though a bolt shot through him, and suddenly he was awake and hungry for more. He pushed forward, harshly kissing you - not that you minded it, in fact, it made your stomach fill with butterflies. His mouth opened, you followed suit, feeling the same hunger he did, your hand now running through his hair.

A sudden squeal left your lips at it started pouring down with rain.

“Shit, we’ve got to go!” You tried to run, but Reiner held your in place firmly.

“Do we though? I was enjoying it.”

“Who said we’re heading back to the house?” You answered with a coy smile. His eyes widened, a smirk forming.

“Then lead the way.”

[bywhatilove]

HOA characters as songs off of “SOUR”

(I don’t think this has been done yet and i’m sorry if it has)

1. Brutal

Pretty much the entire house but specifically sibuna. God, it was brutal out there for them- facing off against ancient egyptian curses and gods and all that jazz. 😔✋🏻

“All I did was try my best

This the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here”

2. Traitor

It took me FOREVER to decide who to give this song to but I thinkkk it goes to Fabian’s feelings towards Nina after she abruptly fell off the face of the earth with nothing but a letter to explain everything. And maybe that’s just because fabina is my favorite hoa couple and this is my favorite song off of the album….BUT i really do think the angst level of this song matches Fabian’s angst towards Nina in season three. I mean home girl really broke up with him over a letter and didn’t even tell him before hand that she wasn’t coming back.👀👀👀 I came this 🤏🏻 close to giving this song to Joy because it’s pretty obvious why. But I saved this one for last and there are already so many other Joy songs on this list so I needed to share the rounds ya know.

“God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you”

“You betrayed me

'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah”

“Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor to me”

3. Drivers’ License

Bucks up for the amount of Joy angst that is about to be on this list because whew it’s alottt. This would’ve been joy’s anthem after she had came back in season two and found Fabian in a new relationship with a girl she had never even met before.

“And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

4. 1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back

Again, this one took me a hot minute. But, I’m gonna go ahead and give it to Mara and Jerome just for all they went through in season two and the beginning of season three.

“Instead it's one step forward and three steps back

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

Yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy

I don't understand”

5. Deja Vu

Don’t act like you don’t know who this is gonna go to. It’s pretty obvious @ joy being jealous of nina and fabian being so close in season two 🗣

“So when you gonna tell her

That we did that too?

She thinks it's special

But it's all reused

That was the show we talked about

Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you”

6. Good 4 You

This song. This musical video. The angst. Everything about it screams Patricia Williamson when her and eddie were broken up at the beginning of season 3 and she was jealous of KT. Tell me that she wouldn’t had this on blast in her dorm with her headphones on.

“Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that”

7. Enough For You

Alfie pinned over Amber for years only for her to give him a huge list of demands that he must meet before they could be a couple. Talk about hard to get. So this one has gotta go to my amfie babes. RIP 🥲

“But God, you couldn't have cared less

About someone who loved you more

I'd say you broke my heart

But you broke much more than that

Now I don't want your sympathy

I just want myself back”

8. Happier

This one is 100% going to my Fabina soft beans. Look at me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t Nina’s anthem after leaving Anubis House especially once she found out fabian and mara.

“I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me

I'm selfish, I know, can't let you go

So find someone great, don't find no one better

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier”

9. Jealousy, Jealousy

@ JOY MERCER THIS ONE IS MADE FOR YOU GIRLIE. Literally her national anthem when she came back in season two and noticed how everything changed.

“All your friends are so cool, you go out every night

In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're livin' the life

Got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend, too

I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you”

10. Favorite Crime

This one is a tie either between Fabian and Nina (since those two did actually low key commit some very questionable actions) or Joy and Jerome and season three with the whole cheating and revenge plot. Fabian and Nina are a couple of adrenaline junkies who would honestly pay no attention to committing a crime as long as no one got hurt and it was called for. 👀

“It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do

'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you

Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made

But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face”

11. Hope ur okay

This is Nina reminiscing on all the people she left behind at Anubis. No debate. Don’t listen to this thinking of Nina thinking of the people she left behind- especially not sibuna. It. will. HURT.

“Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created

With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred

God, I hope that you're happier today

'Cause I love you, and I hope that you're okay”

[anatrik]

folklore and evermore sister songs list

1. the 1- champagne problems.

Common themes:

Failed relationship with unresolved feelings on both sides.

No satisfactory closure.

Recurring devices:

Champagne ( Rosè, Dom Perignon)

Toasts with friends (rosè flowing with your chosen family// no crowd of friends applauded)

Overall reminiscent tone

2. cardigan- willow.

Common themes:

A strong undercurrent of Possessiveness that seems to imply that no one could ever know or love him like she does. (I knew you dancing in your Levis, drunk under the street light, heart beat on the highline...// That's my man)

A certain sense of inevitability born of the long shared history of the two protagonists.

All is fair in this love. (I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired...I knew you'd come back to me// there's one prize I'd cheat to win)

Recurring devices:

Infidelity and forgiveness (I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired...I knew you'd come back to me// wherever you stray I'll follow)

Scars (you drew stars around my scars// show me the places where the others gave you scars)

Trains (heartbeat on the highline, stepping off the last train//you know that my train could take you home)

Linked music videos

Similar instrumentals

3. exile- coney island.

Common theme:

Contemplating the death of a relationship and the role each side played in hastening it

Recurring devices:

Male- Female duet,

Call and response ( you never gave a warning sign, I gave so many signs// did I leave you hanging every single day? did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey?)

References to fragility ( did I close my fist around something delicate// balancing on breaking branches, we always walked a very thin line)

4. my tears ricochet- closure.

Common theme:

Scathing indictment of a much loathed ex

Recurring devices:

The ex who wants to be the good guy/hero and everything to be neatly tied up with no loose ends ( don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled//you're the hero flying around saving face)

Reaching out after its too late ( if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake cursing my name//reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me)

5. mirrorball- tolerate it.

Common themes:

Power imbalance

Going above and beyond for someone who doesn't appreciate it (or atleast doesn't let the singer know that they do)

Recurring devices:

Constantly giving one's best (still on that tightrope still trying everything//use my best colors for your portrait)

Insecurity and a pathological need to be palatable ( I can change everything about me to fit in, shining just for you// I take your indiscretions all in good fun, I sit and listen)

Self deprecating self awareness in the outro (I want you to know I'm a mirrorball// I sit and watch you)

6. seven- dorothea.

Common themes:

Friendship

Innocence

Blurring the line between a best friend and a first love

Strong Homoerotic undertones

Recurring devices:

Quintessential American Towns™ (Reading, Pennsylvania// Tupelo, Mississippi)

The trustworthy friend™ (cross my heart won't tell no other// if you're ever tired for being known for you know, you know you'll always know me, I still got love for you// and I've got nothing but well wishes for ya)

Shared Memories (sweet tea in the summer, your braids like a pattern// skipping the prom, the soul I met under the bleachers)

7. august- gold rush.

Common themes:

Summer romance

Forbidden fruit

Other woman perspective

Recurring devices:

The beach (salt air, your back beneath the sun// costal town we wandered around, ships on water)

Sex (twisted in bedsheets// my eagles tshirt hanging from your door)

Yearning and jealousy (your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it// I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch everybody wants you)

Knowing he belongs to another (you weren't mine to lose// I cant dare to dream about you)

8. illicit affairs- tis the damn season.

Common theme:

"Driving a new Maserati down a dead end street"

Longing for things to be different

Recurring devices:

Time limit ( a drug that only works the first few hundred times//you could call me babe for the weekend)

Roads (take the road less travelled by// road not taken looks real good now)

Perfume (leave the perfume on the shelf...don't even exist//the holidays linger like a bad perfume)

Sneaking around (clandestine meetings//I parked between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours)

A once in a lifetime connection (you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else// the only soul who knows which smiles I'm faking)

9. invisible string- ivy.

Common theme:

The unbreakable bond between soul mates

Recurring devices:

Color (green grass// ivy, single thread of gold //tarnished glow, teal shirt//opal eyes)

Physical allegory of their connection (invisible string tying you to me// your ivy grows and now I'm covered)

10. mad woman- no body no crime.

Common theme:

Murderous Female Rage™

Recurring devices:

Boats (my canons all firing at your yatch// good thing my daddy made me get a boating licence),

Infidelity (the master of spin has a couple side flings// her husband's acting different and it smells like infidelity)

Mad women.

11. epiphany- marjorie.

Common theme:

Taylor's grandparents

Death

Recurring devices:

The number 13

Dreams (dream of some epiphany// your closets of backlogged dreams)

12. peace- happiness.

Common theme:

Title subversion (would it be enough if I could never give you peace// therell be happiness after you)

13. hoax- evermore.

Common theme:

Extremely sad songs with ultimately hopeful messages

Recurring devices:

Melancholia (stood on a cliffside screaming give me a reason// I was catching my breath barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death)

Distrust (your faithless love// I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore)

Self loathing (barren land, I am ash from your fire// motion capture put me in a bad light)

Turmoil (sleepless nights, winless fight// I've been feeling unmoored I'm on waves out being tossed)

Hope (your faithless love's the only hoax// this pain wouldn't be for evermore)

- Anatrik ©

FINALLLY did it

Best 5 hrs of my life that I've "wasted"

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

it’s taken me a while but here we are!! listened to bloodwater ballad [TUMBLR | SOUNDCLOUD] by @gerrydelano so I’m gonna dive (ha, dive, get it?) into some analysis even tho I haven’t taken a proper English class since AP English Lit in high school and the god complex it gave me has never left (RIP to everyone else, but I’m different). But I do have a degree in Psychology and am a Researcher, so I know how to dissect things (this is probably why the god complex never left lmao)

disclaimer: I have only listened to TMA through one (1), read it ONE time, so if you read something that seems wrong it probably is because my memory is not The Best (the seasons are 40 eps long and 30 mins each, Jonny why) and I’m probably straight-up not remembering or misremembering some aspect or detail about either a character and/or their relationship

(and before you say it, i absolutely CANNOT just go relisten to an ep out of order. my nd brain Will Not Let Me until i have listened thru all 4 seasons, In Order, several times)

ALSO: i speak very definitively here, but it doesn’t mean i’m right abt my analysis

bold and italics are lyrics, regular font is analysis. if there’s a more accessible way to format this, lmk!

analysis under cut

honesty that's what she gave to me mary didn’t hide who she was; eric knew exactly what he was getting himself into

into the water i bleed into the sea sea motif/metaphor to describe how eric viewed his relationship with mary

truthfully even when she lied through her teeth it only meant she trusted me to lay at her feet rationalization from eric: he knows she’s lying, and she probably knows he knows. but she also knows that he won’t do anything about it

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i sink more of the sea metaphor in pieces in ribbons in tatters i'm thrown into the dark of the drink ribbons and tatters: reminiscent/hint of mary needing a piece of his skint to keep his ghost in the leitner

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i go blow the man down, he's a jewel for your crown (blow me down) and no one will ever know ”jewel for your crown”: suggestive of how mary used eric like an object. jewel and crown suggests that he was useful to her in an important way, tho, still an object ”no one will ever know”: suggestive that no one else, looking in on their relationship, would even see it for what it truly was, nor would they ever expect mary to throw him away so casually like she did

war, you see is somewhere you go just to bleed the end of a book you can’t read (books you cannot read) a legacy’s greed “book you can’t read”: suggestive of mary’s relationship with leitners ”a legacy’s greed”: commentary of leitner; bc this is eric telling his story tho, this could also be about how mary pulled eric into her plots regarding leitners, and then gerry

distantly, familiar hope came to me that even with blood in our teeth my son stayed asleep ”even with blood in our teeth”: eric knows what role he had to play in all this and is not absolving himself of blame ”my son stayed asleep”: often sleeping can be used as a metaphor for ignorance. in this case, eric is hoping that, despite what gerry’s mother is and what eric has been complicit in, will not affect his son i think it’s interesting to note here that the backup voices cut out for “my son stayed asleep” (put a pin in it)

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, i gave to my wife as the captain, the whip, and the brine, the shark lurking under the waves more of the sea metaphor; also a metaphor for how complicit eric was to mary’s will i think it’s super interesting that she’s the captain, whip, brine, and shark in this metaphor. all things that can hurt eric, as the ship. suggests that mary is in complete control of eric (as the captain). also adds to the notion that eric knew exactly who mary was and still loved her anyway (”i gave”).

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, she cracks the mast of my spine, spills my blood as her wine (lightning strikes and) i really like this line bc it makes me think of the marriage lines in corpse bride: “your cup will never empty, for i will be your wine.” and i love that it’s turned on its head here. cuts a flag from the skin off my back (takes all the skin off my back) a direct callback to the fact that mary has to take strips of eric’s skin to keep his ghost in the leitner book, while also staying with the metaphor that eric is a ship out at sea

way, ay, i wanted to say though blinded i still saw the light at the end of the hall, in a crib with his eyes almost grayer than mine in the night direct callback to eric blinding himself, twice! also represents how much he loves his son: “light of my life” is a common saying and gerry was that for eric

i gave up the sight of his face for his life and i would have lost more for the same i'd cut out my heart to save his from her bite and i almost don't know who to blame again, direct callback to him blinding himself so he could escape the institute a demonstration of how much love he holds for his son, willing to give up more and more of himself if it meant keeping his son safe heart motif! both for eric and gerry i really like the last line here bc he’s saying he doesn’t know who to blame for his blindness (aka cutting out his heart): himself or mary. bc, as i’ve stated before, eric knows who mary is. and he still loves her. still had a child with her. i also think it’s foreshadowing. and the reason i say this is bc, in the end, eric was unable to save gerry from mary. this song is representative of his statement to gertrude, so at this point, he’s a ghost. tho he may not know exactly what mary has done, he knows who she is enough to know that after he died, mary would raise gerry in her likeness, with her ideals

is it a murder if i made my bed by her side when i knew what she was? and here we have eric, most nearly explicitly, stating that he knew mary’s true colors. and loved her anyway. perhaps i'm complicit; i fell asleep first in the bloodcutting comfort of jaws this also solidifies his stance that he should shoulder some of the blame for allowing himself to love her when he knew what a truly terrible and deadly (literally) person she was ”bloodcutting comfort of jaws” is also really nice alliteration

forgive me, forgive me, i did try to swim with my hands and feet bound to my heart heart motif! okay so this one has so many layers for me: so, for all intents and purposes here, eric has effectively cut out his heart, which his hands and feet are bound to, and is now in the jaws of a shark (mary), who is dragging him down to kill him. he tried to save his son by getting away from the institute by blinding himself but it didn’t work weighted and anchored with love for my son who by birthright deserves more than scars legit, this confused me for a bit bc i always saw “with my hands and feet bound to my heart” as the anchor that pulled him down, as you’d weigh someone down with big rocks if you wanted them to drown. however, in the context of tma, i realized anchor could also mean the way martin is jon’s anchor. eric’s love for gerry was his reason--the person who he kept fighting for as best he could

additional note: these 4 verses are all sung without backup voices. i think it’s interesting that the lyrics/verses that revolve around wanting to save his son, and that are about his son, are sung with his singular voice. i wish i could articulate more what that means, but despite my best efforts, i’m not musically inclined even tho i’ll kinda be talking abt music composition for firesorrow girl lmao. link at the end

my eulogy the carpet red under my feet like standing on top of the sea (standing on the sea) the frenzy beneath don’t ask me why but i really like how this last part of the song starts with “my eulogy” bc you can tell the song is coming to a close now by that lyric. what’s really nice is i can “picture” eric closing his statement with gertrude with the request that she finds his son more sea and shark metaphors

infamy how do you remember me? that fool just so desperate to leave that he couldn't see? i also really loved these lines bc eric most likely knows how gertrude thought of him, and can probably sense how she feels of him now, after his story then i love how “couldn’t see” has a double-meaning here: 1) of course, he blinded himself but, 2) that he was also metaphorically blind to what kind of consequences his actions had, both on him and his son

oh, heave-ho a dead man has only one tale listen,,, i know i keep saying this, but i love how ron turns turn-of-phrases on their heads. bc “dead men tell no tales” right? eric has one tale, tho: his statement bc he’s a ghost who’s been bound this book and kept, for all intents and purpose, alive i knew she had hunger for blood in the water and that means it was no betrayal again, confirmation that eric knows that he has to shoulder some of the blame for the consequences of knowing who mary was (this bloodthirsty shark) and still loving her anyway

oh, heave-ho though, i have one request of you now if my son can be found and his own hands unbound (find my son) cut the rope - don't you dare let him drown (don’t you dare be the reason he drowns) so a throwback to “hands and feet bound to my heart” tho perhaps gerry’s heart isn’t what’s dragging him down, necessarily bc he was raised by mary, he didn’t have a choice. the moment he was born, he was tied to her. and the moment mary killed eric, there was no chance he could get away and then, of course, the gut-puncher: “don’t you dare let him drown”/“don’t your dare be the reason he drowns” are especially poignant, given gertrude uses gerry much in the same way mary did. gerry becomes bound to a different entity and is used for gertrude’s gain. so he drowns anyway.

--

alkjdlf i hope this is semi-coherent. i tried to do it more “professionally”--i even thought abt breaking it up and putting it back together, out of order, to address all the themes and motifs all in one spot--but then decided what would be best for my brain, was to listen to the song and just add my thoughts in as they came, stream of consciousness style *finger guns*

firesorrow girl analysis | meme i made for these analyses bc it’s funny and i wanted to share

[aphrodites-law]

A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (4/?) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] 

The open mic was neither a success nor a failure. It was inevitable that they took a hit following Finn's own event, which Clarke refused to think about. She could only hope he'd had as small a profit as Baker's had, though in the end new clientele did come and there was the possibility that they would come again. That was good. They'd had fun, too, especially when Wells and Harper had decided to do some improv to warm up the room.

Despite the pleasant weekend, Clarke was relieved it was over, her body still feeling the effects of long days and short nights. She had what felt like three knots in her back, all of them maddeningly out of reach.

She sipped on her own coffee in between orders that Tuesday, relatively glad for the busy pace. Busy meant she didn't have time to think. Gaia, Harper and her moved around one another with practiced ease, communicating swiftly whenever necessary. Clarke didn't want a second to herself. Whenever she had a moment, she went in the back to check on their stock. She counted jars. She undid and redid her ponytail. There was absolutely no reason for her to think about the past Friday. None at all. She had far more important things to do.

Raven came in after lunch hours, peeking into the kitchen while she took off her hat. Clarke followed her with amusement, wondering why she was acting like a sleuth. 

“Wells is on his break," she told her.

“Oh I know." Raven turned to her and lowered her voice. "I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

Raven went around the counter. "Did you get him a birthday present yet?"

Clarke rearranged the presentation of their last few sandwiches on display. "Did I get him a present six weeks in advance? No."

Raven grinned. "Perfect. I got him the best seats to this new play - Nowhere Ground - big fucking hit he's been pissed isn’t on his season pass. But then I started thinking- how amazing would it be if I could get him a backstage tour of the Music Hall too?"

Clarke could guess where this was going. "You think if I had contacts there I wouldn't have pounced on them already? Besides, you're closer to the entertainment business than I am. Doesn't your team know people?"

Raven shook her head. "Too prideful. Theater rivalry and all that.”

Clarke slid closed the display window. “Well... you could ask Niylah? I think her dad does deliveries for the Music Hall. He might know someone.”

“Niylah who I barely know and who you dumped?”

“I didn’t du- okay, just tell me what you need.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Spill.”

“Well my guys couldn't be bothered, but I did get a tip-off that the Music Hall crew hangs out at Barton after Saturday shows. I figured we could go together, schmooze a bit-“

“Wait a minute- Barton?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but there’s no way Daddy’s Boy will be there mingling with tech crew. Besides, the place's changed a lot since college.”

Clarke glanced at the front door, desperate for a new customer to give her a way out. “Why am I being roped into this again?”

“Because I can’t actually do the flirting.”

Clarke pretended to think about it for a second. “Right. I'll pass.”

“Clarke,” Raven groaned. “It’s for your best friend! And you might actually meet someone out of it.”

“Someone like Finn?” Clarke asked pointedly.

“Someone good for you,” Raven amended. “But if you're really not feeling it, you can just slip in a word about your café to a whole crew who’ll probably end up hungover and in dire need of quality coffee the next day."

“Raven...”

“What do you have to lose?”

“A nice warm bath while I finally catch up on my book?”

“Sometimes I look at you and wonder how the fuck you’re single, but then these words come out of your mouth and I remember.”

“You kiss Wells with that mouth?”

“And he loves it. Come on, Clarke. Please?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Fine. But if anyone makes puns about my buns, I’m out.”

“Fair.”

* * *

Clarke met Octavia Blake just ten minutes after stepping into Barton that Saturday night. Clarke had opted for dark fitted pants and a low-cut top paired with her midnight blue blazer, though in this weather she'd regretted not taking her coat instead. She'd curled her hair and made an effort with her makeup, just enough to at least cover her fatigue. 

Clarke hadn't been to Barton since college, where, yes, she had regrettably met Finn and fallen for his then boyish charm. She'd been swept up in the thrill of dating a politician's son and he'd been after a way to hurt his long-distance girlfriend - that was all there was to know about it all. Clarke's regret was that she had been blind for too long. But Raven was right to say the place was different - and the last time they'd all been here felt like forever ago now. Finn himself hadn't changed much, but Clarke hardly recognized herself in pictures from that time, where her hair went down to her waist and most of her clothes were paint-stained. Everything had been different then; less predictable maybe.

But there was something comforting about habits too. Clarke had that feeling when they walked into the bar, suddenly recognizing everything from the tables to the ceiling. It wasn’t the place that had changed but the people. Gone were the college juniors and seniors, now working adults with better clothes and sharper features. Barton had a sprawling design, with small rooms connected to each other and three different bars. Raven grabbed her hand and led her to the busiest one, where the people couldn't be mistaken for anything other than theater crew. Huddled together with beers in hand, they wore sweatshirts and baseball caps and some even still with gaffer tape hanging from lanyards at the side of their jeans.  

By the sound of them, they were happy to be done for the weekend. There was something infectious about their energy and their tired grins.

"Raven fucking Reyes!" A woman called out after they had gotten their beers.

"Octavia?" Raven gasped aloud. "What the fuck?"

Before Clarke even saw it coming, Octavia had wrapped her arms around Raven and just about lifted her off the ground.

"Shit, what did they feed you at Yale?" Raven asked while laughing.

Octavia stepped back with a wide smile. "Just the regular ramen, but I did take up boxing."

"Figures." Raven turned to Clarke. "Clarke, this is Octavia - a little punk I used to tutor."

"Would've never gotten into Yale without that big brain helping me," Octavia added. "What've you been up to?"  

"Definitely didn't pack on more muscle. I'm at sound engineer at the Swan House."

"Awesome, lots of sound people around tonight. I'll introduce you guys."

Raven glanced at Clarke with a knowing smirk. "Perfect."

"Do you work at the Music Hall?" Clarke asked Octavia.

"Not exclusively. I'm a stunt coordinator," Octavia said, clearly proud. "I'm also an instructor at my friend's gym in the Green Strip."

"Damn," Raven said. "How the hell did you land in Costial after I kicked your ass to Yale?"

Octavia chuckled. “Well I did meet the love of my life at Yale - it just worked out that his family's here in theater city and we could both find plenty of work."

“Is he here?" Raven asked.

"Oh he's always a bit longer after shows, but he'll be around soon. Come on, let me introduce you both to the crew."

* * *

They met riggers and lighting technicians, costumers and makeup artists. Clarke had forgotten how nice it was to see new faces without waiting to hear their order. It was almost like a reflex now, but everyone was warm and welcoming. Clarke had no doubt that Raven would get Wells his backstage tour, and possibly even more.

After a while they sat at one of the side tables, starting on their second beers. Clarke was listening to Octavia when she looked up and the widest smile spread on her face.

"Linc'!" she called.

Clarke froze in her seat, cursing her bad luck. Octavia's boyfriend, the playwright. 

His cousin was right by his side like she had been at the Polis Hotel, looking more jaded than Clarke could imagine anyone being at Barton. When their eyes met, Lexa stopped and seemed to come alive. But Clarke refused to back down this time, remembering how she'd been the one to look away at the party. Lexa had still been a mystery then. It had felt exciting to catch each other across a crowded room. Now Clarke only felt her own pride refusing to let this woman have any lasting hold on her.

Finally Lexa did look away, glancing toward the bar before she walked there. Octavia dragged her boyfriend toward their table.

"Linc', this is Raven and her friend Clarke. Guys, this is Lincoln."

"Raven who got you into Yale?" Lincoln asked with a kind smile.

"Psh, she got herself into Yale," Raven answered. "I just nudged her in the right direction."

* * *

After a while, Clarke excused herself from their table. She'd enjoyed hearing Lincoln talk about the play - and both Raven and her had plenty theater gossip to regale Wells with - but eventually Raven and Octavia moved on to reminiscing and Lincoln stood up to catch up with his colleagues.

Knowing that Raven had clearly found the connections she needed, Clarke got up as well and roamed around each room with her last beer in hand. She looked toward the end of the room and found Lexa alone at a table, one empty drink in hand and her phone in the other. 

Of course. 

Lexa looked up at the very moment, and surprisingly, stood up to walk toward her. Too startled, Clarke barely had the time to pretend she had another destination in mind.

"Clarke-"

"What?" She asked, perhaps too abruptly. 

"Could we sit down and talk?" Lexa asked.

“I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

Lexa swallowed thickly before nodding and looking down at the drink in her hand. Her quick acceptance strangely angered Clarke. She watched as Lexa regained her isolated table and ran her hand through her hair. Still clinging to her bottle, and despite knowing that two beers were fuel for bad decisions, Clarke stepped toward her.

"Actually I do have a question," she said. "What the hell is your problem?"

Lexa quickly looked up, eyes flashing with affront. "Excuse me?"

Clarke stopped on the other side of Lexa's small table. "You start talking to me, telling me about a side-job opportunity, inviting me to the premiere of a packed play, and then you treat me like the plague.”

"I wasn't aware being friendly came with so many expectations."

Clarke reeled from the coldness. "You can’t be serious.”

“What do you really want to say, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“It's because I refused to be interviewed, isn’t it?"

This seemed to upset Lexa. "I'm a professional, not a child."

Clarke didn't believe a word of it. "Is that the kind of journalist you are? Entitled to other people's stories? Resentful when they turn you down?"

"You don't think very highly of me, do you?" Lexa asked with a clenched jaw.

"I thought we were getting along, that we-"

"What? That we owe each other anything because we had a few chats?"

It hurt, perhaps more than it should have. Lexa was right - it had only been a few conversations - but there had clearly been a shift after Clarke had turned Lexa down. And Clarke was disappointed. Disappointed that the woman she had made up in her mind had turned out to be so bitter. Disappointed that she'd allowed herself to believe Lexa might look at her differently one day.

"You know - if you want to keep sitting at tables alone and tune out the world, you go ahead and do that."

Lexa finally stood up, her stool scraping against the floor.  

"That's rich coming from you."

Clarke felt her blood run hot. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hiding your talent behind your counter, afraid to take a chance on something new. Not exactly eager to step out of your comfort zone, are you?"

"You don't know anything about me!" Clarke snapped.

"I know you draw whenever there's a lull. I know it means something to you, even if you put every single one of them in the trash when you're done."

Clarke was taken aback for a moment, but recovered swiftly. "Not everyone needs their hobby to become a business. Who do you think you are acting like you can read people based on a few minutes of their lives?"

"That would be my job - one you seemed to find interesting at the market," Lexa answered dryly, but with such an air of arrogance that Clarke felt suddenly spiteful.  

"You think the Gazette is so fucking important? Get over yourself, Lexa."

"At least I put myself out there," Lexa retorted harshly. 

"At least I'm honest," Clarke fumed.

“With everyone but yourself it would seem.”

Clarke drew in a sharp breath. "You know what? You can talk all you want about integrity, but I'm not the one who tried to get closer in the hopes of getting a story. I'm not the one who wants everyone but herself to bare their fucking soul."

Lexa looked like she had been slapped and Clarke knew she needed to leave before they made a scene. It was clear by now that they would never see eye to eye.

"I hope you and your new coffee shop are very happy together."

* * *

Clarke walked out of the bar feeling grateful for the brutal cold. It felt like the only thing that might calm her down. She couldn't believe the turn the night had taken. Couldn't believe she'd even confronted Lexa, let alone snapped at her. Lexa's indignation had only spurred her on, but what she'd said had awakened a snarling creature. Lexa didn't have a clue what it took to run a business. Sacrifices were a part of it - she couldn’t just waste what precious time she had on pastimes. How arrogant could she be to act like she knew better?

Clarke had been so wrong. Lexa was a stuck-up, self-absorbed, entitled bitch and there was no universe where Clarke would take a person like that to bed. She'd ruined things with Niylah for a feeling that had turned out so laughably wrong. Well, screw the vision. No one knew for certain that they were glimpses of the future. No one knew a damn thing.

"Clarke, wait up!"

Clarke turned and waited for Raven, who jogged toward her and then leaned down on her knees. "Jesus, you're fast in heels."

Clarke blinked, as if suddenly remembering she'd left without even checking on her friend. "Oh Raven, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

“Nothing."

"You hightailed out of that bar because nothing happened?"

Clarke shook her head, unable to get the words out.

"It's that woman - Lincoln's cousin, isn’t it? She's played a number on you."

"I didn't meant to cut your evening short, you were having fun and-"

Raven grabbed her hand. "Hey, forget about that. You being safe and happy is more important to me."

"Raven…"

"Come on, let's go. I'm freezing my ass off."

* * *

They settled in Raven's car, warming up thanks to the heat. Raven drove slowly, giving Clarke ample time to calm down. In the small space and in the dark, Clarke felt like she could finally confess what she'd kept from everyone.

"I had a vision," she said.

Raven's eyes widened. "What? When? At the bar?"

"No, weeks ago."

Raven quickly glanced at her. "Shit, Clarke. I mean- congrats! Why didn't you say so earlier? You know we've been rooting for you."

Clarke paused, her cheeks feeling hot. "I didn't know how to… It was, um… sexual."

Raven snorted. "Well, you know I saw Wells' bare ass in the shower asking me to move in with him."

Clarke laughed despite how heavy the moment felt. "Yeah, but this wasn't like that. The way she held me-"

"She?" Raven asked, and then, "Oh. Same woman from the bar, right?"

"How do you know?"

“No offense, but this is the first time I’ve seen you this worked up about someone, and I was there during the Finn era.”

“Seven months aren’t an era,” Clarke argued.

"But it was her, wasn't it?"

Clarke refused to replay her vision again. "I don't know anymore. I thought it might be, but she's so… she's just not who I thought."

"Then forget about who it was. Just take it as a wakeup call."

Clarke looked at her. "Wakeup from that?"

Raven hesitated. "Clarke… don't you realize how hard it's been to hang out with you this past year?"

"I'm trying to run a business," Clarke defended.

"Wells runs it too. Are you saying he's slacking?"

"No, of course not. You know I couldn't do it without him."

"Right. But when Wells gets home, he leaves work at the door. We hang out or we go out, sometimes together, sometimes separately. He never misses a play and he rock climbs every chance he gets, even if just for an hour. The café means a lot to him, you know that, but it doesn't mean everything."

Clarke tried to imagine that for her. "Honestly that sounds exhausting. I can barely pick up my feet at the end of the day."

Raven bit her lip. "For a while he felt the same, but then he kinda realized he was making excuses."

Clarke frowned. "I go out."

"Do you? Or do you wait for people to either ask or drag you out?"

"It's just been busy with the holiday season," Clarke justified.

"Before that it was the college season and before that it was summer. Don't you have the budget to hire someone else at this point?"

Clarke sighed. "Wells talked about another full timer, and someone else on the weekends, but I haven’t really looked into it yet."

"Right. All I'm saying is it's not fun feeling like the bad guy for wanting to hang out with you."

"Do you really feel that way?"

"I feel like you've made your business your spouse, but a place can't be a home. So maybe seeing yourself bone a stranger is your body's way of saying it needs something a bit more exciting than cold sheets and a 5am wakeup for the rest of your life."

"You're as eloquent as ever, Rae."

Raven smiled as she turned into Clarke's street. "I'm a genius."

* * *

Clarke locked the door behind her and took off her coat, thinking about Raven’s words and the way the evening had panned out. The anger was snuffed out of her, replaced by exhaustion and a feeling of regret. She couldn’t believe she’d somehow given Lexa the power to upset her so thoroughly. That she’d believed for one second that Lexa might-

No, she wouldn’t replay each interaction again. She wouldn’t even think about her anymore. Clearly trying to cross the line between them had been a mistake. There was nothing to be gained from it. Lexa was only after stories - wanted secrets in exchange for dust, and Clarke never wanted to see her name in one of her pieces.

Raven was right: she’d focused too much on who had been in her vision rather than what it meant. She was lonely and she’d had a vivid fantasy - it was no more than that. People fantasized about strangers every day; about leading different lives with different people. The past year had seen her doing the same thing with the same people every day. It wasn’t strange that her subconscious would crave some excitement. She’d had such a fixed impression of Lexa; quiet, reserved, polite Lexa. Clarke could see why a part of her would find it thrilling to draw her out of her shell. To be the focus of Lexa’s razor-sharp attention and deft hands.

But her impression had been wrong. She’d acted on something that was never there in the first place. She'd let the vision influence her to the point of acting completely out of character. That was her mistake.

Clarke took off her heels and walked to the bathroom to wash up. She put her hair up, washed her face, put on her pajamas and slipped into bed with the covers up to her neck. All she had to do was sleep it off. Tomorrow she could put these past few weeks behind her. Move past the vision.

Lexa was never going to be a part of her life. She wasn’t a stranger or even a customer anymore. She wasn’t anything at all. Clarke turned around and buried her face in her pillow.

-

[part five]

[kiraskye]

Honeymoon on the Waves pt. 5

(final part)

(pts. 1-4 are linked bellow)

(my fan fiction story “As You Wish” is referenced in this story)

TV Show: Once Upon a Time

Characters: Emma Swan and Killian Jones

pt. 5 rating: T

Disclaimer: Sex is talked about. I don’t own these characters.

Setting: Takes place on the Jolly Roger in between seasons 6 and 7.

Note: ————— indicates a change in point of view

While Emma was fast asleep in Killian’s cabin, exhausted after a day of fishing, Killian was busy on deck. He had stashed a foam mattress and extra pillows and blankets on board for a special end to their honeymoon. He laid out the mattress on the deck and arranged the blankets and pillows on top. Opening up a box, he pulled out a bunch of candles and candle holders. He lit them and placed them all around, creating a romantic atmosphere, just like their second date. He set up his old phonograph, which played soft sweet music, next to the makeshift bed.

Killian wanted to end their honeymoon with something special. Their second date marked an important mile stone in their relationship, and he wanted to do something that was reminiscent of that night. Now that he had his ship, he could properly set up a star gazing evening for him and Emma.

—————————————————————————

Emma’s eyes fluttered open. She heard a soft melody coming from outside of the cabin. Confused, she swung her legs off of Killian’s bed. She adjusted Killian’s night shirt and ran her fingers through her knotted hair before standing up. Turning the door handle, she looked out onto the deck to see Killian. He was standing in his usual leather jacket and jeans attire, fiddling with a old phonograph. Her gaze fell to the deck, littered with candles and a makeshift bed. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew that this is how he had wanted their second date to look. She was brought back to that evening. It was the first night they had slept together. It was also the first time she had spent the night with a guy in a really long time. After Neal hurt her, she really didn’t have relationships. She would go as far as one night stands, and she would never stay the night after sex. It was a rule she had made to protect herself. She still wasn’t sure why she had stayed with Killian that night on their second date. She had felt safe, for the first time in a long time.

Emma brushed a fallen tear from her cheek. A tear of happiness for the life that she had worked so hard for and now had. She never thought she would have a family, but now she did. Her parents and kid were back home and her husband stood right in front of her.

Killian heard Emma and turned to face her. “I didn’t mean to wake you yet.”

“You did all of this for me Killian?”

“Aye, of course Swan. I just want you to be happy.”

Emma laced her fingers behind Killian’s neck, “I am happy, so happy. I never ever thought I would be.”

“And you my love, make me the happiest man in the world,” Killian buried his face in the crook of Emma’s neck, holding her close with his hook pressed gently against her back. “I love you Emma Swan Jones, and I always will.”

“Emma Swan Jones? I like that.”

“You do my love?”

“For some reason, it never felt right to take my parents last name, but this... it just feels... right.”

Killian took her hand, pulling her towards the makeshift bed. Killian discarded his leather jacket, and they crawled under the covers. Emma snuggled into his chest and he pulled the blankets up with his hook to cover them.

“Tell me about the lands you have journeyed to Killlian.”

The sweet music mixed with Killian’s voice made Emma’s eyes feel heavy. Killian’s body was so warm and familiar and comfortable. He smelled of soap, but a hint of the scent of rum and sea remained on him. She looked up at the stars, listening to her favorite sound, Killian’s voice, speak about the tales of other lands. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, pressing her face against his warm chest. Her eyes fluttered, unable to keep them open. She fell into a deep sleep, soothed by Killian’s presence. 

Her breathing became even, and Killian lovingly looked down upon her closed eyes and her slightly parted lips. He kissed her forehead gently, and then leaned his head back to look upon the stars.

[tasteslikepepsicola]

Somebody Else (Sodapop Curtis x Reader Part 4)

Part 3 - please read before proceeding to read this chapter

Y/N and Steve are together, and haven’t heard from Sodapop in weeks, everything should be going great for the new couple, but something seems wrong.

Word Count: 1,700+

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol

Authors Note: wow wow wow! I’m really sorry this took so long! I actually had half of this written a couple weeks ago, and decided I hated the direction I took it in, so scrapped it and had to start from scratch. I also started school, meaning I had less free time to write, and I just wanted to make sure it was perfect before I posted it. Next part coming soon! Thank you for supporting me <3 I love you. Oh! and ~ please send in some requests ~ I love to write for ideas you guys may have. Also, I promise the name will make sense eventually. Anyways, enjoy the story!

Tears stream down her cheeks and Y/N chokes back a sob, racing down the steps of the Curtis home as fast as she can, ignoring Sodapop calling and chasing after her. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t listen to a half-assed apology from him. She couldn’t feel his intense stare, or deal with the absolute hurt she saw in his eyes when she told him about Steve. Flashbacks replay in her mind through short montages. Steve grabbing her waist, pulling their bodies so close. Sodapops glossed over eyes as he drunkenly stared at her from across his dimly lit kitchen. The sharp, abrupt sound of Ponyboy startling her awake. 

And most of all, the heartbreak in Sodapops voice when he told her, He has a part of you now. A part of you that you can’t get back. Something you can’t give me anymore.

She wanted to be mad, she really wanted to. She knew that his statement was dumb, outdated, ignorant even. But she couldn’t help but feel that deep down he was right. She lost her virginity to a boy she didn’t love, to distract herself from the boy she did. How could it get any worse than that?

She doesn’t stop running until she is at the end of his street, turning the corner when she slams into something, hard. She falls backwards, flat on her ass, and cradles her head that just collided with another runners.

Through the pounding noise and feeling in her head, she hears someone ask, “Y/N?” She rubs her eyes to clear them of the dizziness and tears that still fall.

“Steve?” she wonders aloud. 

“Jesus,” he says, now noticing her tear stained cheeks. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?” He outreaches his hand to her, helping her to her feet. 

“Everything is so screwed up,” she says. 

He pulls her into a tight hug, holding her as she lets herself cry into his shoulder. Neither of them says anything for a while, each enjoying the others comforting presence. It’s almost peaceful, until Y/N feels Steve pull away. She looks up at him, confused. She notices him staring past her, and when she finally turns around she sees Sodapop, about ten feet away, still catching his breath, staring sadly at them.

“Sodapop-” Steve starts, walking towards him. Sodapop immediately turns the other direction and Steve begins walking after him, fast.

When he reaches his best friend, Steve places a hand on Soda’s arm, in an effort to get him to stop.

“Sodapop please just wait a minute.” Steve says.

“Forget it Steve, I don’t have anything to say to you two.”

Y/N makes her way towards the pair, “Sodapop, please, we can work through this if you just listen.” She isn’t quite sure how she could be so angry at him and still not be able to face him walking away from her.

Sodapop turns around swiftly at the sound of her voice. 

One last look of betrayal flashes through his eyes, and Y/N is at last, speechless. The two of them don’t need to say anything, because they both already know, there’s nothing to be said anymore. And so, she watches him walk away, again. This time, the world is turning, her feet are on the ground, and this is real. And the distance between them is only getting greater as he walks away from her, and she doesn’t follow after him.

*****

It’s been five weeks since Y/N saw Soda last. And besides the remaining longing for someone else, things with Steve had been going great. They had been going to the movies, taking long walks accompanied by longer talks, and Steve had even surprised her with a picnic in a grassy field that they had found on one of their walks. Y/N could feel herself starting to truly move on. For the first time in years, someone else was on her mind besides him. 

There were only a few weeks left in the Summer, meaning it would be filled with the last parties of the season. On this particular Saturday night, Y/N was accompanying Steve to a party at Buck’s. She was wearing her hair straightened, (the way Steve liked it,) and a tight, square neck, red dress. She and Steve held hands as they walked into the party, one of many they had attended that Summer together. They scanned the room for Dallas and Two-Bit, who they planned on meeting there tonight. By now, they had established themselves as a bit of an it-couple, everyone wanted what they had. They were hot, happy, and from what everyone could see, they were in love.

Although, nobody knew the truth. Neither Steve nor Y/N had admitted their love for the other yet, and for no reason other than the presence of an unshakeable feeling that still, they were doing something wrong, like an inextricable weight they were carrying around. 

The party was loud, crowded, and smelled of marajuana, boos and body odor. Before her and Steve became an item, Y/N rarely partied. Standing in that red dress, watching a game of beer pong being played by Steve, Jess, Two-Bit and Dally- Y/N found herself reminiscing about the Saturday nights she had spent curled up on the couch at the Curtis house. While everyone went out, she and Sodapop would stay behind, and just enjoy the others presence. She shook her head, clearing the thought from her brain. It was true that Y/N had been thinking about Sodapop less these past few weeks, but that didn’t mean from time to time something would remind her of him.

The music changed from upbeat and intense, to slower and sweet, as “Put Your Head On My Shoulder” by Paul Anka started playing. The room suddenly filled with couples making their way to the center of the room, beginning to sway to the beat. Steve finished his game with one last bounce of a ping pong ball, making him a winner. He cheered and high fived Jess, and then made his way over to Y/N, grabbing her hips and pulling her in for a quick kiss.

“Dance with me, beautiful?” he hums.

She smiles, taking his hand, and following his lead to the center of the room. As the beat picked up, he rested his hands on her waist, she hooked her arms around his neck, and stared up at him through thick eyelashes. They swayed back and forth, as he moved one of his hands to rest on the small of her back.

“Y/N…” Steve started.

“Steve,” she quipped back.

“I care about you so much,” 

“I care about you too, hone.” 

“There's something I want to tell you-” he started.

Suddenly, Y/N smelled an all too familiar cologne, and the boy who smelled like roses and gasoline made his way towards the crowd and past Steve and Y/N. She wondered if Sodapop saw them, was he coming to them? Her question was partially answered as Soda walked right by them, briefly pausing to put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder, in what looked like an attempt to make his way through the crowd better. 

Steve and Y/N exchanged a glance, and she thought to herself, he must know what he’s doing. Why did he even show up here? He knew we would be here, and he hasn’t been to a party since...since that night. And he hasn’t talked to either of us since that day on the street outside his house...what's his motive?

And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit Y/N, that maybe he’s just here because its a party. That maybe, he actually didn’t see his two oldest friends, because that isn’t what they were to him anymore. They were all just strangers, and he came here to have a good time, maybe meet a girl, and for once, it wasn’t because of or about her.

No longer wanting to think about this awkward situation, and completely forgetting Steve was trying to tell her something, Y/N put her head on his shoulder, her eyes just barely being able to peer over him, as he held her so close.

The music was still playing, and more people continued to make their way onto the dance floor. 

“Y/N?” Steve asked once more.

“Yes?” she questioned, not moving her head from its position on his shoulder.

“I- I love you, Y/N,” Steve whispered softly.

Y/N is stunned for a minute, unsure of what to say. She still had so much to figure out. No, she shouldn’t, it should be clear who she loves by now. But- why doesn’t it seem to be?

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Sodapop leading some girl to the dance floor, her giggling, looking back at her friends with a blush on her face, as Sodapop grins with satisfaction. He had only been here for two minutes, how had he already found a girl thats drooling all over him?

And then, it's clear, Sodapop has moved on, and so should she.

Y/N takes her head away from Steve's body, and stares into his deep, green eyes.

“You love me?” she asks.

“I love you,” he repeats.

“I love you, too.” she says, as he breaks out into one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen him wear. 

He grabs her hand, holding it up, intertwined with his own, and turns to the couple next to them, showing their hands, and loudly exclaiming, “She loves me!”

They look utterly confused, but his enthusiasm is endearing.

“Yes, I love you, so can you please come back to Earth and kiss me already?” she tells him, playfully grabbing him by the collar and making him look at her.

“Say it again.” he teases.

“Oh my god,” she rolls her eyes, unable to control her laughter.

“Say it, Y/N.”

“Oh my god! I love you Steve Randle, now kiss me you idiot!”

And finally, he connects their lips as the music dies, and the rest of the world fades away; so much in fact, that neither of them feels Sodapop’s burning gaze on them, and neither knows that his heart had just shattered into a million pieces.

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Chapter 231 Translation Notes

Hi DGMers! jeidafei from Kougeki Scans here. I’m a total newbie to scanlation and I’ve never made my own note before. However, I’ve read all THREE versions of the DGM translation for reference, (This just goes to show this fandom’s undying love for the subject matter) and noticed some discrepancies between scan groups...

Not to say who is wrong or right, as translators are also humans (unless AI got over its Google Translate phase and take over our jobs someday!) with different experiences and backgrounds, and as such there is no such thing as right or wrong in a translation. 

So, in addition to my translation, I would also like to give readers the opportunity to interpret things freely without the language barrier as well, and maybe share some of my knowledge regarding Japan and the Japanese language accumulated from over a decade of learning Japanese (mostly through D.Gray-Man and Ghibli animes XD) and around three years of living, studying and working full-time in Japan.

1. “生々流転” (seiseiruten or shoujouruten)

The cover art is mind-blowingly beautiful this time. So much so that I’ve been secretly wondering whether Hoshino-sensei spent even more time on the cover than the actual content itself and that’s why we have 20 instead of, like, 40 pages.

Anyway, it also gives us this little conundrum...

@panthaleia has already done a marvelous analysis here and you should check it out! so I won’t be going into details much; I would just like to give you a definition and leave it to your imagination. I admit I’m pretty much stumped by this as it isn’t clear what exactly Hoshino-sensei is referring to by this concept.

Japanese culture and language takes heavy influence from Chinese since ancient times, and there are plenty of these four-letter Chinese idioms in daily use, called 四字熟語 (Yojijukugo), some of which can be challenging for non-native learnersーand even the Japanese themselvesーto fully grasp its concept, considering the wealth of yojijukugo-themed dictionaries and games published in Japan. 

The Japanese definition of 生々流転 goes as follows:

すべての物は絶えず生まれては変化し、移り変わっていくこと。▽「生生」は物が次々と生まれ育つこと。「流転」は物事が止まることなく移り変わっていく意。「生生」は「しょうじょう」とも読む。 (source)

A compilative translation of the above and other versions in the source would be nothing is unchanging; all existence is born, constantly changes (and dies) in a cycle that repeats itself endlessly. The emphasis seems to be put on the term of “constant change” and the “neverending cycle” of all existence, rather than the birth and death of living beings, however, and thus I believe my own and Mangastream’s translation of it as “Circle of Life” may not be comprehensive of what Hoshino-sensei is trying to convey. 

In my opinion, it could either be interpreted literally to mean the cycle and flow of energy and soul-force that Past!Allen had mentioned to Nea all those years ago, or considering the plot of the current chapter it can also refer to the story coming full circle and returning to the point of its birth, by taking Allen back to Eddystone...Edinston...Edinburgh...Edinsーargh dammit I give upーwhere his story began with his meeting with Mana Walker.

Speaking of which...

2. The Town Where Allen Began

Mangastream called it Eddingston. Starbuds called it Edinston. The D.Gray Wikia adopted Edinstown and that’s what I decided to go with for now. 

However, the actual Japanese text is  エディンストン, phonetically E-din-su-ton. Thus, the most phonetically accurate would probably be Starbuds’ Edinston. Edinstown can be transliterated back into Japanese as エディンスタウン, whereas Eddingston would probably be エッディングストン to the Japanese folk (I’ve highlighted the difference in spelling).

There you go! Now y’all can call it whichever way you want! 

3. Why is Allen so alarmed?

Right after Mana said that he draws all those little “I am here”s like a street graffiti punk so God would be able to find him, Allen looked as if he had recalled something significant. Seeing as Allen is about to tell the tale of his beginnings, this would probably be clarified in the next chapter. However, in my opinion, Mana saying “so he would be able to find me” is reminiscent of this sentence back in Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow:

Back when he still remembers Nea and his purpose of searching for him, Mana was taking every measure to make sure Nea recognizes him, as he now looks different from his 17-year-old self. Sure, Mana might actually be referring to God this time as he said it; we’d never know until the next chapter at the least, but the memory of Mana’s words back at the circus must have been what shook Allen to the core.

4.  はじまり 

The term はじまり (hajimari) or “the beginning” seems to be the central theme in this chapter; appearing on the cover page, the first page and the last page of last chapter, emphasizing the fact that both Allen and the plot has now come full circle and returned to where “Allen” began. 

This cliffhanger freaks me out though, as I couldn’t see how Hoshino-sensei could tell Allen’s story without repeating Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow, as that is stated to be the story of how Allen came to be:

Anyway, my fear and frustration of waiting-six-months-for-new-developments aside, hajimari is a very popular to the point of cliched concept in Japan, in my opinion. If you go to karaoke in Japan and type in hajimari in the machine, it would come up with a SH*T TON of songs containing hajimari in the song name, with hajimari no uta (The song of beginnings) and hajimari no basho (The place where it all began, which is also mentioned in this chapter) being some of the most repetitive. 

As much as the cherry blossoms are a symbol of Japanese culture, the Japanese people themselves regard the month when the cherry blossoms bloom, April, and the season of Spring, as the marker of new beginnings, of significant turning points in life. The start of school term, start of fiscal year, start of working life and end of childhood, Your Lie in April , etc. all happen in April. 

This phenomenon is especially remarkable in Japan. Being the country of uniformity, virtually every school and workplace throughout the country would start their activities in April. 

In my experience, Japanese aesthetics revolve around the changing seasons and times a lot, and countless pop songs that are released around March-April would sing of the blooming cherry blossoms swaying to the wind and new beginnings for students graduating from high school or university. In the same manner, songs coming out in Winter would feature slower melodies and the distinctive, ringing, Christmas-ey chime from the likes of music boxes, glockenspiels, triangles or celestas, and songs released in Summer would usually be quicker, livelier with lyrics retelling a fun trip to the beach, firework shows and sunshine (－and bikinis, if you’re listening to AKB48!).

To someone who came from a tropical country with three pretty much indistinguishable, unpleasant seasons (Damn-you-Summer, Damn-you-Summer-with-Rain-and-Floods and Damn-you-Summer-with-Three-Days-of-Winter), the beauty of the Japanese seasons and how the Japanese culture and lifestyle intertwine so closely with it has always fascinated and charmed me.

5. The Gratitude Dilemma

In addition to the seiseiruten conundrum, this chapter also throws up some more challenges for translators. One notable example for me being how to accurately capture the essence of this panel:

Both Starbuds and Mangastream worded this bubble very differently, and I won’t say who is the most accurate, but I will explain my choice of wording the best I can (with a few tips to weary Japanese learners along the way, hopefully). The actual Japanese raw is below:

My atrocious highlighting skills aside, we can clearly see the emphasis given to the suffix てあげよう (te-ageyou) here. 

Allen didn’t say it straight out that he’s pitying Kanda or the like, but he’s using the te-ageru form, which means “ [doing something] for your sake” . 

The concept of gratitude is important in a strict, seniority-based society like Japan, and accordingly there are two verb suffixes just to show gratitude: when someone else does a favor for us: te-kureru, and when we receive a favor from someone else: te-morau. 

Yes, there’s a difference. And this is one of the most troublesome head-scratchers and trick-question-subjects for intermediate learners of Japanese taking the JLPT test (and translators of Japanese songs and manga as well), as to make things worse the Japanese usually omits the subject and/or object of the sentence. 

My tip for making sense of this is for te-kureru, the other person must be the subject of the sentence, whereas for te-morau, I/me must be the subject.

Starting to see now why so many of my classmates gave up on Japanese and why so many anime subs/manga translations are sometimes inaccurate? 

We also get another instance here:

(watashi ha kami ni) mitsukete-moraeru you ni would literally mean something along the lines of so (I) could be found by (God) for my sake. I put parentheses here to show you how both the subject and object of this sentence is omitted, and why we must be extremely careful in cases when it is less clear than this who is doing what for whom. To learners, you MUST pay attention to the conjunctions. 

For the sake of convenience and more natural speech I just used so God would be able to find me. 

Back to Black Allen, te-ageru or its more casual/demeaning form te-yaru, on the other hand, is used for when we’re doing a favor for someone’s sake and should be used sparingly/carefully to people of the same status or lower, as it could sound patronizing depending on context. So Allen using it to Kanda is meant to be very cheeky and infuriating, as if he’s trying to emphasize that his giving up is more out of pity/sympathy for Kanda’s hapless persistence than his own being tired of or incapable of escaping.

Because in reality it is just as he personally admitted in the earlier page: he’s got no money and cannot elude the Order without Kanda’s help, and decided to just twiddle his thumbs and wait around for now. 

But food and a man’s pride are everything to Allen...

That’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed our translations. See you in three months, fellow DGMers! 

[crazykacey]

Just something I have been working on ^^ (renders from @myu-resource​ and @kosmosinusa​ )

SO as you might have noticed from my previous post that I just rewatched Sailor Moon R The Movie: The Promise of the Rose and it was simply for this!

Even before of the announcement that Sailor Moon S Movie/ Kaguya-hime no Koibito is going to be maybe into a musical, I have been wondering what it would be like if the movies were made into musicals! So I watched the movie and at the same time I was taking notes about which actor would be best for each role and which songs would go into this musical! (I thought about making this a Youtube video but because there is going to be a lot of explaining and stuff so I figured it would be easier to just do a post :D) So I guess you could call this a “What if?” Myu or something :D (or just a Dream Myu)

Hope you enjoy this because it TOOK A FREAKING FOREVER XD And I even lost half of the progress so that was fun xD ALSO there are probably spelling errors and stuff because I’m not native English speaker and this was kinda tiring lol but hope you enjoy! xoxo

(Also gonna put “Keep Reading” here because this post is looong af)

Cast: 

Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon: Hotaru Nomoto (I don’t know what it is but everytime I think about R movie and wondering who would be the best Moon for that, Hotaru just immediately jumps into my mind. Hotaru isn’t the best Moon imo but she is SUPER AMAZING and since Moon is a little bit more mature in this movie and I feel like Hotaru is a very good option, since her serious and caring(and goofy :D) Moon was soooo amazing!)

Mamoru Chiba/Tuxedo Mask: Yuu Shirota (Since this movie is kinda centered on Mamoru and his past I feel like Yuu is the best choice, since he brought Mamoru’s sensitive side more up than anyone else imo, especially in SRD and KOK)

Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury: Chieko Kawabe (So in the musicals Chieko was really bubbly and cute which wasn’t very Mercury like, but seeing her playing Naru in PGSM brought a completely other side of her up which is why feel that she could also be that shy and studious girl who doesn’t really know who to interact with people)

Rei Hino/ Sailor Mars: Misako Kotani (Since this is movie is fully on the anime and Misako basically is the perfect Anime-Mars for me (picking fights with Usagi but also caring about her the most WHILE also being that serious miko when something is wrong), I knew immediately that she was the right choice)

Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter: Yuu Takahashi (Yuu was the first Jupiter to me who actually showed us the feminine side of Jupiter, and since it is kinda important in the movie, when they are remembering their past and stuff, I thought that she would be the best)

Minako Aino/Sailor Venus: Rimo Hasegawa (It was REALLY hard to pick a Venus for this one, since Venus’ past has never really been explored in Myu (Which they totally should! just give as the goddamn Sailor V musical) but then I felt like Rimo was the one who actually got to the closest point (in LMF) and would be PERFECT for this one

Chibi-Usa: Ayano Gunji (So Chibi-Usa doesn’t really have big role in the movie, heck she wasn’t even a Senshi then so I don’t know if they would actually include her in the musical lol but anyways, since it’s the basic Anime-Chibi-Usa I felt that Ayano woulb be best since she pretty much was the Anime-Chibi-Usa)

Fiore: Kenji Urai (OKAY SO after seeing the Death Note musical I noticed how well Kenji plays as a villain, so that is why I decided to choose him for Fiore, and since he is a former Tux and he was done other stuff with Yuu before too, it would be pretty cool :D)

Xenian Flower (voice): Tomoko Inami (SO this was the one I struggled the most with. For like an hour or two I just went through all different actors from Myu and listened all different songs from Myu to find someone who would be best for Xenian Flower. Since Xenian Flower is just so manipulative and doesn’t care about else and just does thing for it’s own advantage so I felt like it couldn’t just be played by some random(if you get what I mean) but then it hit me that Tomoko would be amazing at playing Xenian Flower since Mistress 9 is pretty much the same, manipulative, deceiving (when in the anime she tricked Sailor Moon by lying that Hotaru is still alive into giving her the Holy Grail) and does everything for her own advantage. And her voice is so good and I think that it would be good for the Xenian Flower! Also the reason why it says “voice” is because the Xenian Flower is just hanging on Fiore’s chest and it would be kinda impossible for her to just hang on Kenji’s chest for the whole musical XD)

Flower Youma: Ado Endou, Miki Kawasaki, Kaori Ishikawa ,Mio Nunokawa, Yuka Kobayashi, Tomoko Inami, Ayumi Nakaoka, Mayuko Kawamoto (Ado and Miki are pretty self explanatory, Kaori was SO amazing as Nehellenia/Lemures, I included Mio because she was a pretty epic Telulu and she is all about the flowers so that’s why :D Yuka is just awesome so that’s why she is here xD I wanted include Tomoko in the Ensemble crew since it would only be her voice as the Xenian Flower so that way she could also be physically on the stage. I just really liked Ayumi and Mayuko xD Mayuko was super sweet and Ayumi seemed really good! I wish she could have gotten a proper role in Myu)

Musical Numbers:

1. BestFriends (At the flower garden) Inners + Chibi-Usa (Even though there is only a short clip of this song and the instrumental online, I feel like this song fits in! Especially because the movie has a lot to do with the girls friendship with Usagi. Also included Chibi-Usa because she needs to be a part of some songs at least :D) 

2. Otome no Policy (After Usagi and Mamoru’s failed kiss, when the other girls prank Usagi with the worm) Inners + Chibi-Usa (Even though I haven’t seen Super Live, I feel like Otome no Policy was a nice inclusion! And since this is Sailor Moon R Movie and Otome No Policy is the ending theme for that season, I think it would be cool!)

3. Kaze no Shijin (When Mamoru is talking about his past with Usagi) Mamoru and Fiore (Beryl’s lines would be changed and they would be sang by Fiore. Since this was pretty much the moment in SRD and KOK when Mamoru opens about his past to Usagi, this song HAS to be included. And obviously Fiore wouldn’t physically be there but in Mamoru’s mind or something when he starts to remember stuff)

4. Fiore's Theme Song (When the Flower Youma seed is sent to Earth) Fiore, Xenian Flower and Flower Youmas (So since this song doesn’t actually exist it doesn’t have a name so it’s just that :D In the movie Fiore doesn’t appear in that scene but I think it would be cool if he could have his “villain song” or something. Maybe Fiore could be reminiscing about his past with Mamoru and indicating his hate of Usagi. Maybe even the Xenian Flower could have a solo part there)

5. Sailor Make Up! (When Usagi and Chibi-Usa get knocked into the cafe and the Senshi transform and start to fight with Flower Youma(s)) Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus (I feel like this song would really fit in because there aren’t that many songs with just the four inners and because this song doesnät really get finished because the enemies overpowered the Senshi. Also I really like this song and it’s sad that it’s pretty much forgotten :( )

6. Make Up! Kumikyoku ~ Moon ~ (When Chibi-Usa wakes the fainted Usagi up and she transforms into Sailor Moon to save everyone from the Flower Youma) Sailor Moon (This is pretty much fits in since it is Sailor Moon’s transformation song and because the other Senshi are in trouble so it just makes it even more perfect for Sailor Moon to sing this while she saves everyone. Obviously it would be much a shortet version, similiar to what it was in Kumikyoku Medley but maybe a little bit longer. Ofc without Tuxedo Mask or the Shitennou. Probably just the introduction and then some dancing and finally Moon Tiara Action/Boomerang)

7. Tuxedo Versus (When Fiore is about to attack Sailor Moon but Tuxedo Mask comes to save her) Tuxedo Mask (I think this fits the scene best out of all the Tux songs since either they are too calm or too energetic. I mean this song is pretty energetic too for the scene in the movie because it was pretty calm since the Flower Youma was dead and it was just Fiore trying to kill Sailor Moon. But you would think that in the musical there would be more than one youma and Tux could just come to save Sailor Moon from them and the Fiore would appear to do his thing)

Act 2 (Act 1 ends when Fiore stabs Tuxedo Mask and takes him to his asteroid and the curtain descends as Sailor Moon screams for Tuxedo Mask, similarly to NogiMyu)

8. Fiore's past & Truth about Xenian Flower (Mamoru is in the resurrection tank or whatever, and Fiore tells him about his past while the Senshi learn the truth about Xenian Flower) Whole Cast (Senshi, Chibi-Usa, Mamoru, Fiore, Xenian Flower and Flower Youma) (SO this song doesn’t exist either but I feel like this song would be one of those epic songs where the Senshi and the villains sing their own lines and it becomes one huge song similar to Sailor Battle La Reconquista from La Reconquista or Shuuketsu - Yume no Atsumaru Basho from Amour Eternal or Triple Dreams from Yume Senshi. In that song the Xenian Flower could tell about her true goal and Fiore and Mamoru about their past while the Senshi are shocked about the the Xenian Flower. Also in the movie they learn the truth about the Xenian Flower from Luna and Artemis but in the musicals they could learn it from Ami who could have found it from her computer or something)

9. Ai no Senshi New version (When the Senshi use Sailor Teleport to go the asteroid to save Mamoru) Inners (So this would be similar to what Sailor War was in Old Myu (another good option for this scene) but I decided to put Ai no Senshi instead since Ai no Senshi is also from Sailor Moon R and it’s really epic battle song and I have always wondered what it would sound like in a musical!)

10. Watashitachi Sailor Guardians battle ver. (When the Senshi are at the asteroid and start battling against Flower Youmas) Inners (pretty self explanatory :D each Senshi sing at their own turn and attack the youma and at the end Sailor Moon destroys them all with Moon Princess Halation) 

11. Sorezore no Elegy (When the Senshi are trapped by Fiore and he demands Sailor Moon to make a choice, drop your wand or they all die) Inners (Okay this song fits PERFECTLY. Since they all are telling Sailor Moon to fight and survive and leave them be even though Sailor Moon doesn’t. Especially the line “This life was dedicated to you long ago” is just simply perfect for this scene and really hits the feels. Also Pluto’s part wouldn’t be there)

12. BestFriends Ballad ver. (When Fiore is sucking Sailor Moon’s energy, telling her how horrible of person she is and how they all will never understand loneliness and sadness, everyone starts to think about their lonely and sad past) Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus (So this version doesn’t exist either but it just came to me that it would be simply perfect for this scene since everyone starts to think about their sad and lonely past before they met Usagi and when they also try to convince Fiore to not kill Usagi and tell him how lonely they were before they met her. Also because the movie has a lot of stuff about the girls friendship with Usagi and since the regular version was at the beginning, it just hits the feels.)

13. Fiore and Mamoru’s Duet (Mamoru who has escaped from the resurrection tank, throws a rose at Fiore telling him that he remembers everything and tries to convince him to not kill Usagi) Mamoru and Fiore (so yeah this doesn’t exist either but it would just be perfect point for them to have a duet where Mamoru tries to reach out to Fiore and tell him that Usagi is not a bad person)

14. Otome no Policy Ballade ver. (When Fiore learns the origin of the rose that Mamoru gave him) Sailor Moon (When listening to the ballad version of Otome no Policy, it just came to me that it would fit this scene so well. I can just hear Usagi singing gently and quietly, trying to sooth Fiore by showing him where Mamoru got his rose while he is trying to take the Silver Crystal)

15. Moon Revenge (When Usagi uses the Silver Crystal to stop the asteroid from crashing to the Earth) Inners (Pretty self explanatory :D one of the BEST songs from Sailor Moon and it needs to be in this)

16. Moon Revenge Piano ver. (After Usagi has died from using the Silver Crystal and everyone is crying) Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus and Tuxedo Mask (This also played at the same scene in the movie so it just has to be in this and it would so much hit in the feels)

17. Moon Revenge (curtain call) (Similarly to what it was in UNV, when the actors come to bow, it’s instumental, but at the end everyone sings the last verse)

Service Numbers

1. La Soldier Inners + Chibi-Usa (Obviously)

2. Ai no Starshine Inners (Since it was first sang in Petite Entrangere, which is basically Sailor Moon R, I wanted to include a song from that arc’s musical)

3. Moon Revenge Inners (without any talking because during the musical there probably would since it’s a pretty important scene)

4. Moonlight Densetsu Whole Cast (Senshi, Chibi-Usa, Tuxedo Mask, Fiore, Xenian Flower and Flower Youma) (Obviously again)

OMG I FINALLY DID IT :D I cannot believe how long it just took to do this xD But it was really fun! (though frustrating at one point when I lost the progress...)

Probably next I’m going be doing the same thing Sailor Moon S The Movie but it’s gonna have to wait a while I think xD I don’t know

Also a thing I realised while writing this was that the cast has actors from each stage!/There are actors from each Sailor Moon’s stage (well not NogiMyu or Super Live tho)

AnzaMoon: Misako

FuminaMoon: Ayano

MiyukiMoon: Chieko, Ayano

MarinaMoon: Chieko, Yuu Shirota

SatomiMoon: Yuu Takahashi

HotaruMoon: Hotaru, Rimo

and I wasn’t even thinking about that when making this xD Pretty funny coincidence lol 

[hunterguyveriv]

Swamp Thing Season 1, episode 7 thoughts:

Today’s episode was just simply beautiful and sad between Alec and Abby in a way you could only expect it to end the way it did. It had so many lying implications between the 2, then one can realize besides the whole “Protagonist not wanting to lose the one he loves.”

Don’t get me wrong I’ve wanted a Swamp Thing & Abby Arcane live action done right since I saw “The Return of Swamp Thing” in 1989/1990. But I just love the whole dynamic being stretched nearly to a near-fatal breaking point.

Accepting Alec - My thoughts on this is just a jumbled mess; it hurts: Accepting Alec played a massive part in this episode. Unlike the Abby Arcanes of the past - The Alan Moore Saga, The Return of Swamp Thing, or the New-52, or even the cartoon mini-series - it has taken her longer to accept Alec as Swamp Thing. Even after she learned from Susie, it was Alec the only time they really touched was briefly when she was suffering from the Darkness-Hallucinogens, and when he showed her what happened to Shawna. It wasn’t until after he tried saving her the Alec Holland-Way failed and had to save her the Swamp Thing-Way that she finally seemed to accept him for what he was now, even though she still wants to find a way to revert him back to human. 

I think the whole hallucination-power was a way to see what they truly wanted. He wanted to remain Alec for her and tried to give up the Swamp Thing persona, but came to the conclusion that if he did things the Alec Holland-Way, he was helpless. Abby also showed that she genuinely wanted Alec back to the way he was, but I am starting to think that was working against them. Think about it, in the previous he said he worried that accepting his new situation would take him further away from her, but they remained at least 10 feet apart from each other. 

Except for the few instances of him touching her, they always seem to have had some distance between them. Even weary on letting the other touch each other. But yet after the pollen made him look like Alec to her, it seemed like they were more willing to be close to one another even touch each other. More so after he fought The Rot off in her body. Up until this time, part of their relationship seemed very superficial on Abby’s part, but one can also argue that it was also superficial on Alec’s side, to want to be seen as “The Charming Man she knew.”

Ugh… I gotta get off this bit, or I am going to keep going turning this into an essay and want to bash my head in trying to wrap my mind around these thoughts.

Abby’s Purpose: In all of Swamp Thing, except for the cartoon mini-series and the 90s Live Action series which I can't remember if she was in it or not, Abby Arcane has always been his heart - his humanity if you will. She was the only one in the Alan Moore saga to keep reminding him of his humanity. That it didn’t matter if he was a sentient plant being with Alec Holland’s consciousness, in her eyes, he WAS Alec Holland. In the New-52 even after he became Swamp Thing and she became sensitive to “The Rot” and showed that she had Rot-Powers, she still reminded him of his humanity.

When he has been at the lowest or darkest point in his life, she would always be there to help him.

So far even though it is a mere fraction of what she has done compared to her comic book counterparts, she does seem genuinely vested to be that support he so desperately needs. She like her comic counterparts, even though she had trouble seeing him as Alec up until last weeks episode - she has always reminded him that he is Alec Holland. (which for the most part to us the viewers we don’t know if he IS STILL Alec Holland like the New-52 Alec who was dying from his wounds in which the Green turned him into the Warrior-King Swamp Thing or a Sentient Entity of the Green with his consciousness). But even if we do learn what continuity they decide to use, she NEEDS to be there for him, regardless of him not wanting her in the swamps of Marais. I just hope with the series being unfortunately canceled (and not being picked up elsewhere by the looks of it so far) it is done in a proper manner that doesn’t make it campy or they kill Abby off. I do want to see her in grievous danger, in which Swampy and possibly Daniel come to her aid.

A little off topic I do hope to see that they go the Alan Moore route, one that scene is just so powerful in the comics. This because after Woodrue mind-fucks him at Sunderland’s corporation building and deals with Woodrue, he searches for the body and buries it cutting ties to “the person who was once Alec” and was so resistant against Abby calling him Alec for the longest time - till he said she could. But that being said there is another reason why I hope they go this route and explore whether Swamp Thing is Alec Holland or not. I am a Guyver fan, in which death is no big deal to Guyvers because they regenerate newer bodies after their control medals have been ripped out of their heads. They very haphazardly explored the whole “If a the Guyver regenerates a newer body, is the person that same person or a shell of that person with their memories?”

Living as Alec & Alec’s Helplessness?: I kind of liked the idea that even though he was still Swamp Thing, and appeared to Abby as Alec, I liked how they did it. After a recent second viewing of yesterday’s episode, I think they (producers and writers) meant it to be like a test to not just Abby (in seeing if she could genuinely accept Alec the way he is) but a test for Alec. Earlier I mentioned the Alec Holland-Way, I think even as Swamp Thing he really wanted to live life as Alec would have. He also tries to desperately save Abby as Alec would have against the Rot, until realizing it wasn’t going to work out.

Now some of you may be saying, “whoa there, that doesn’t mean he is helpless!” But in doing things, the Alec-Way also contributed to Abby getting attacked by that tendril. As Swamp Thing, he would have possibly been able to stop that thing from punching her in the first place. Which even though I say that, I kind of like the idea of Alec struggling with the tendril, because in the New-52 continuity. For those wondering it was established that he begins to lose his power in areas profoundly affected by the Rot. Trying to live as Alec would have possibly weakened his power even more, because as Avatar of the Green, even in Rot Infested areas he should have been able to get it off of her and rip it to shreds.

A return to The Return of Swamp Thing?: I have to admit I loved Alec and Abby in the swamp together walking through it like a couple in love (Someone PLEASE do a video of Swamp Thing/Alec and Abby to this song when the series is over- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFmisnHehtg. It would make us Swamp Thing/Abby Old-Timers with no music video making knowledge happy). It was very reminiscent of Dick Durock’s and Heather Locklear’s wandering the swamp to me, even heard their original theme in my head during their scenes. 

Abby’s Darkness?: When Alec was desperately trying to save her, what if he merely prolonged something else in her? What if the Tendril was attempting to turn her into an Avatar of the Rot like she was in the New-52 saga? She mentioned “the darkness” in the euphoria of pain, and her skin tone and body started to appear like her new-52 counterpart. Now that being said, what if Alec using the green merely suppressed it? Because it is a possibility, he got a glimpse of the darkness of her own past when he took hallucinogenic-darkness away from her in episode 4. A crack theory I know, but I feel like that scene was supposed to mean something besides Abby getting attack and Swamp Thing dropping the Alec persona to save her. 

These are all the thoughts that have been running through my head and have plagued me for the last 15 hours @.@ I’m tired, and I don’t want to hurt my brain anymore tonight.

That being said other great highlights of were Maria stealing the Sunderland Company from Avery. Wasn’t overly excited over Lucilia and Matt’s scenes, if anything they have earned what’s coming to them. I still like the dynamic of James Woodrue and Caroline, you can genuinely see that James is so flat out determined to save his wife which kind of mirrors Abby being so committed to saving Alec. 

I do like the scene with Liz and Matt, however, mainly because, that in the Alan Moore Saga (which is like the holy grail of Swamp Thing lore) only 4 people knew of Alec being Swamp Thing before he was captured. Matt Cable, Abby Arcane-Cable, Liz Treymayne, and her husband. Thus far, it seems like the series is genuinely doing all of Swamp Thing (movies, comics, cartoons,   series) true justice while forging itself as a new identity for the Avatar of the Green.

With Abby going back to Atlanta, I can't wait to see scenes of her with Adrienne Barbeux’s Doctor Palomar and Abby together in a scene. Will they make her first name Alice (as in Alice Cable from the 1982 movie) Will Adrienne get a scene with both Swampy and Abby as if to pass the torch on to this new generation of Swamp Thing stars? Will she give Abby some guidance on what to do with particular Swamp creatures (lol)?

But I still have questions!

Where is that Good Boy Garou?

What happened to Susie?

What happened to Margaux?

Anyway, I am finally done with this post. I am off to go listen to some Godzilla movies as I drift off to sleepy land.

[jazzviewswithcjshearn]

Wallace Roney: Blue Dawn-Blue Nights (HighNote, 2019)

Wallace Roney: trumpet; Emilio Modeste: tenor and soprano saxophones; Oscar Williams II: piano; Paul Cuffari: bass; Kojo Odu Roney:  (tracks 1, 4, 6, 7, 8) Lenny White: (tracks, 1, 3, 5) drums, Quintin Zoto: guitar (tracks: 1, 3, 5)

In jazz, the tradition of giving new and up and coming players education on the bandstand is precious. Art Blakey did it, Miles Davis did it, Elvin Jones, among many others.  Veteran trumpeter Wallace Roney continues the tradition bestowed on him from the valuable lessons he learned from Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, Clark Terry, Art Blakey, Herbie Hancock, Wayne Shorter, Tony Williams just to name a few on his twenty second album as a leader Blue Dawn-Blue Nights.  The album, his latest in a nearly 20 year association with High Note features a dynamic quintet: the fast rising Emilio Modeste on tenor and soprano saxophone, Oscar Williams II on piano, Paul Cuffari on bass, his nephew the phenomenal 15 year old prodigy Kojo Odu Roney sharing drum duties with the great Lenny White.  The quintet is augmented by Philadelphian Quintin Zoto adding seasoning on guitar for three tracks.

Roney, who played in alongside Philly Joe Jones at age 16, and started his recording career in 1975 has always sought young firebrands in his own bands. He seeks to extend a legacy from the innovations of the past and extend them into the future.  Rather than play old tunes, he aims to have his band mates apply those innovations to new pieces and have them play above their best.  On the present recording, his group rises  to the challenge and supersedes it.  Oscar Williams and Emilio Modeste bring their  own tunes to the table and let their personalities shimmer  and Roney purposely declined to bring his own tunes to let the compositions of the band shine,  For those familiar with the trumpeter's catalog the use of dense polyrhythmic structures will be no surprise, and the opening streetwise, swaggering “Bookendz”with the twin piston drums of Kojo and White and Zoto's guitar on the introduction do much to bring jazz's African heritage into focus.  Zoto's picking at the start over the insistent rhythm in 6 is reminiscent of the West African ngoni, and Roney uses the rhythm to propel himself with daring long lines that leave space for White (on the right channel) and Kojo (on the left) with dynamic interplay. Modeste provides the first of several heat seeking solos on the set with declarative soprano, and Williams  follows with a simultaneously intense and reflective solo that uses strong motivic development. Next, Roney, Cuffari and Williams tackle “Why Should There Be Stars” as a trio.  The trumpeter's legato yearning tones are crafted with such an attention to detail that the tune could be an old standard, Cuffari's bass and Williams' provocative harmonies carry the performance.  

Lenny White returns to the drums on his funky “Wolfbane” first heard on Present Tense (Hipbop,1996) and Cuffari right away locks in with the drummer. Roney is daring like an aerialist, and digs in hard when White swings on the bridge. Modeste slowly and expertly builds dark hued phrases; his tone hinting at Sonny Rollins and Wayne Shorter as he gradually moves to a primal scream. Throughout the performance, the legendary White signature fast reactions and detailed listen allow for varied backgrounds to suit each soloist.  Roney and Modeste fly on Dave Liebman's classic “New Breed” first heard in a memorable version on Elvin Jones' Live At the Lighthouse (Blue Note, 1972).  Williams goes for a “stroll” (piano lays out) while Roney and Kojo engage in some thrilling rhythmic interplay.  Oscar Williams' “In A Dark Room” is immediately fascinating for the way he uses the sustain pedal on it's brooding into, to give way into Cuffari's pedal tones, and Kojo's gong like splash cymbal on the theme choruses.  Everyone solos to a slow boiling build.   Toto's “Don't Stop Me Now” is given a wonderful new perspective, Lenny White's switching between eighth note and swing rhythmic feels adds considerable intensity to the trumpet and tenor solos. Modeste's two challenging compositions with their singable melodies  prove to be the most arresting.  His “Elliptical” extends on the kind of mixed meter rhythmic blender found on Tony Williams' “Black Comedy” that Roney, the composer and the rest of the quintet handle with ease. Kojo rips through the sudden meters that change every few bars with ease, and it's remarkable a player as young Modeste has such a thorough knowledge of such a complex form.  He certainly knows the tradition and pulls those innovations into the present. To hear another example of how Roney utilizes this rhythmic concept with panache, check out the explosive version of Cole Porter's “I Love You” on Village (Warner Brothers, 1997).

Sound

Blue Dawn-Blue Nights is one of several recordings made at Van Gelder Studio since Rudy Van Gelder's passing.  Maureen Sickler captures the classic RVG sound to a tee on this recording, replicating the larger than life, vibrant but relatively flat two dimensional sound stage of a lot of classic RVG recordings on Blue Note, Impulse, Prestige, CTI and Muse from the 1960's to 1990's.  A real positive surprise was to hear the drums on the opening “Bookendz” have a touch of that unmistakable ceiling reverb, however subtle that were an imminent part of the sound before 1971 when RVG began to use isolation booths for the drums.  Trumpet and saxophone and guitar project the classic ceiling reverb to the back half of the stereo image, and the piano retains that trademark RVG mid range heavy sound.  It is  pleasure to hear the RVG sound continue on.

Closing Thoughts

Wallace Roney hits it out of the park with this new quintet.  The band is one of the best, and tightest he's had, completely sympathetic to his specific vision of extending musical legacies. His trumpet remains as strong and potent as ever, and each member of the core quintet makes strong contributions.  It's certainly one of his best albums alongside others in his catalog like Verses (Muse, 1985), The Wallace Roney Quintet (Warner Brothers, 1995) and No Room For Argument (Stretch/Concord, 2000).  The players he's brought forth this time out, namely Emilio Modeste, Oscar Williams II and Kojo Odu Roney have big futures ahead, and it's going to be fun to see where the band on Blue Dawn-Blue Nights heads next.

Music rating: 9/10

Sound rating: 7.5/10

[swishandflickwit]

Deckerstar — lost without you 1/1

Summary: In which Father Frank hears of Lucifer's return to Hell, follows in Eve's footsteps by visiting the Devil from time to time, and finally establishes the kind of friendship they had been laying the foundations of before they were both so rudely interrupted by his death.

Alternatively: A Priest Walks Into Hell

(...and, quite possibly, doesn't come back out?)

Ratings: General Audiences

Words: 2.5k+

Warnings: Post-S4. Spoilers ahead. Implied Deckerstar. Canon divergence. Seriously, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED SEASON 4.

AN: This started out as a crack if and evolved into... something more emotional than I had originally intended it to be because why not *sighs* lol.

AN: This started out as a crack fic and evolved into... something more emotional than I had originally intended it to be because why not *sighs* lol. I wrote this way before the IG takeover by Tom, Ildy and Joe so the fact that Tom wishes he could see Father Frank again but that he couldn't because he's in Heaven and Lucifer is in Hell was just bloody kismet!!!

Title, and song referenced below, is by Freya Ridings which is SO DECKERSTAR except you change 'I have to see the world' to 'I've got to save the world' and I cRYYYYYYY.

Also, Father Frank went to Heaven! But if Amenadiel's theory of Free Will is to be believed—and it obviously can because how else was Eve able to escape Heaven, come back to life and in her original, youthful body, if it can't be—then anyone is free to leave Heaven or Hell, which is how Frank can visit Lucifer. Trust me, I had a whole backstory, I'm just... not... strong enough to write it out so, uh.

Roll with it...?

SHOUTOUT to Devil'sMiracle17 for beta reading the SHIT out of this and whipping it into shape better than I ever could. This was fine, but you made it BETTER and I'm so grateful to have met you through this experience! You have my heart!

Also on ff.net | AO3

Other writing

“What song is that?”

Lucifer saunters into the designated music chambers of his hellish castle before seating himself onto the bench next to Frank.

“Sounds positively wretched.”

Although, ‘saunter’ might have been too generous a term… slinks would have been the appropriate description—trudge even more so. Unless he holds court with his demons, the Devil doesn’t much care for appearances these days.

At least not when he’s with him.

Dejection has made a home of his friend’s shoulders, so Frank does what he can to, if not extinguish—then alleviate the insidious homesickness that plagues him by providing his more human company.

Little good it does.

Frank sighs. “Something one of the newer, younger residents of the Silver City keeps blasting on repeat through the courtyard speakers. Apparently he’s having a bit of trouble accepting his newfound… state and so the angels have permitted the coping mechanism, however repetitive,” he grumbles. “The other residents have given the kid a wide berth, but I actually like staying in the courtyard and it’s been weeks,” he feels his face pinch in shame, even as he cannot hold back the admission. “Now the song’s always stuck in my head. I can’t catch a break, not even here!”

(And if he, too, benefits just as greatly from their arrangement then no one else need ever be the wiser)

Lucifer snorts. “It’s always nice to be sought, not for the scintillating conversation but, for your ability to provide refuge from angsty teenagers and shrieking, mainstream bops,” he says, drily. “You sure know how to make a Devil feel wanted, Padre.”

Frank chuckles. “Don’t forget the refreshments,” he quips, raising a goblet of demon-brewed ale to his lips and taking a dainty sip because—as he learned the hard way—the beverage was not for the faint of heart, dead or alive.

He rolls his eyes, but there’s the tiniest hint of a curl to the corner of his lips that exposes his amusement, “Oh, of course,” it widens in mischief. “That is, when you’re not puking your guts out after having partaken a little too much of the libations…”

“That was one time!”

“And my hellions are still wiping your vile, regurgitations from the side of my castle, you little weakling!”

The pair of them dissolve into giggles as they recall the events that currently fuel their mirth; Lucifer challenging the priest and he, against his better judgement, indulging him in some petty motivation to prove him wrong. Suffice to say—they both lost that night.

Much, much later, when their nostalgia trails off and their chortles fade, Frank plays the piece in its entirety, complete with its lyrics because he’s heard it so many times it’s that embedded into his mind. Lucifer doesn’t do anything as innocuous as applaud, but Frank can sense his appreciation—recognizes it in the easiness of his breaths and the slackening of his shoulders (however minuscule, tension never truly leaving him, not even in his slumber, in the few times Frank has caught him unaware).

“Sounds like something dear Ella would have listened to.”

It’s mumbled out of the corner of his mouth in evident mockery, a derisive tilt to his articulations. Except it’s lost in the soft lines about his mouth and the brightening of his eyes as he becomes swept in the current of his memories.

So he waits, always waits… happy to let Lucifer dictate the pace of their interactions, the weight of their conversations. He learned early on when they’d reunited that Lucifer suffered through good days and bad days like the best of them, that the good days were often outweighed by the bad, and the one method to temper them that didn’t involve isolating himself on his throne for days at a time, or going on a manic bender, or some crazed combination of both, was when he reminisced of his time on Earth. Or more specifically—

The people that made his time there all the more meaningful.

Though he’d been witness to the Devil’s subtle but present humanity in the all too abrupt time they spent together topside, it is never more apparent than when he speaks of the Earthly family he’d found himself, reluctant maybe but ultimately, belonging to.

Sure, the bulk of his tales involve complaining about the notorious righteousness oozing from Amenadiel’s brawny form (“Never fails to bring up he’s the Favorite Son like, alright! We get it, yeesh!”), and the deviousness with which his newborn nephew commands the adults around him with a mere sniffle… ranting about Maze's betrayal (“Twice, Father. Twice! The audacity of that little demon!”) by teaming up with Cain (“I’m going to need a drink for this, aren’t I?” Lucifer cackles. “Or ten!”), and Linda's maddening advice during his therapy sessions (“She can never just give me the answers, honestly, what else am I paying her for?”), before recounting the whole debacle with Eve—after which he upchucked the contents of his stomach over the side of Lucifer’s balcony.

Yet even amidst the palpable, if thinly veiled, vexation of his intonation, there is that undercurrent of affection that one would have to be blind not to notice... but Frank does, and he is happy. Truly. And everyone he knows, and wouldn’t have known if not for Lucifer’s divulging moods, who is significant to Lucifer has made an appearance in all his, sometimes hurtful but mostly fond, chronicles… save for one.

Arguably, the most important one.

Yes, it doesn’t escape his notice that Lucifer hardly ever speaks of the detective that spearheaded Frank’s investigation when he had been alive. His friend is in the middle of narrating his experience in a nudist sanctuary, when he cuts himself off in that manner that tells him Chloe is a part of the story.

This is what he does, every time, and it happens so often that it becomes impossible to not discern that she—his partner in every sense of the word—is so deeply interwoven within his past, his present. One need only be in their presence for more than a second to confirm, there was no mistaking the connection between them, whether it is platonic or otherwise. And so Frank is of the firm belief that it would take more than a couple of short-lived dalliances with third parties to crack, what more break, their relationship.

So, he prods. Not hard. Not pressing enough to warrant his anger or, worse, aggravate his sadness. But a little hint here, a nudge there. He can see the strain in Lucifer's muscles and the melancholy that darkens his all ready too dark orbs… and he's aching.

He can sense the fight brewing in his soul—to speak of her, to bury her memory deep inside himself, to feel her, to wrap her in his darkness, to bring her to the light, to forget her, to remember her. So Frank tells him as much as he can without actually saying the necessary confabulations that he's here, that it's okay. Lucifer can cast his burdens onto him because this is what friends (for this is what they are and yes, his celestial best friend, for all intents and purposes, is the Devil and strange as it is, he wouldn’t have it any other way) do, they listen and they protect and they share the load of your despair as well as they can ‘til finally.

Finally, it spills out of Lucifer like a break in a dam and he is crashing, crashing and all Frank can do is hold him through the tidal wave so he doesn’t drown.

“She loves me,” Lucifer admits openly, softly, even as rivulets stream silently into the collar of his ever-impeccable suit. “She wanted me to stay, and I could not give her even that. I couldn't give her what she desired.”

“Why?”

“That damned prophecy,” he snarls, and his eyes flash red before altogether receding to their natural umber as he further expands on this foretelling, Frank's grimace deepening as a new, priestly, player is introduced and revealed to have preyed on both Lucifer and Chloe’s insecurities through his dastardly manipulations, which resulted in the deaths of a hefty number of innocents.

“And Hell must always have a ruler—a celestial one at that,” Lucifer concludes in muted, hopeless tones.

“Forget the prophecy!” Frank roars, an unexpected heat that tastes of indignation at the awful circumstances that seem to follow Lucifer no matter how undeserving he is of them, coursing through his veins. “Do you love her?”

And the despondency lifts for even just a fraction, replaced by a familiar exasperation.

“Haven't you been listening? First love equals destruction upon humanity? I don't really know how much clearer than the risk of an apocalyptic threat I can get.”

Frank raises an eyebrow. “I've yet to hear you actually declare your love in relation to her name, Lucifer.”

“Ah,” he breathes, and fiddles with a cufflink, which only gives away his unease. “Funny, that—I've also yet to say them to her. Really say them. I just keep calling her my First Love, which, not a lie! Still,” he shrugs but the nonchalance is misplaced in the tremble of his hands, as he lifts his own goblet to his lips for a particularly long gulp before he, mingled with an uncharacteristic sheepishness, huffily continues, “I do adore you, Frank, but if it’s all the same to you, I would much prefer that the first time I say them, properly, it would be to her, yeah? We both know how awful I am at communication and at this point in the game, I wouldn't want any wires getting crossed and all...”

Frank takes pity on the poor creature and halts his rambling with a steady hand to his shoulder. “So, tell her.”

Lucifer gapes. "Sure, because it's as easy as fluffing my wings out and landing at the foot of her bed. Silly me, why hadn't I thought of this before? Oh, that's right! Something to do with Evil being unleashed upon the whole of humankind? Ring any bells? We were literally just talking about this. Am I doing something wrong? Wait, what am I saying. I'm perfect.” Lucifer shoots him a look so pitying, Frank must restrain himself from cuffing him in the back of his head out of annoyance.

“Heaven really does make the lot of you dull, doesn't it?”

The things he puts up with…

“There's always gonna be something, Lucifer,” he entreats (ignoring his last statement). “In any relationship. Sometimes it's fear of commitment, other times it’s disagreements on expenses or the number of kids you want. In your case, it just so happens to be the possibility of the end of the world.”

“Is that all?” he growls, voice dripping with disdain.

“The point is—would you rather face it alone? Or take the risk together? Come on, Lucifer,” he wants to weep.

Frank doesn’t understand where this vehemence stems from, but it seizes his body with an urgency that feels as natural as his phantom heartbeat. Because he’s caught tendrils of this peculiarity before, but never so glaring as now—this fire in his chest and a carillon in his brain that blares, Lucifer does not belong here. Lucifer ruling Hell reeks of all kinds of wrong. But what he’s coaxing him to do… it feels right. Because Chloe and Lucifer feel right.

They are true.

So he asks him, though he can surmise the answer, “Are you willing to fight for that love?”

And Lucifer doesn't hesitate, not for a second. Not for a heartbeat. He doesn't even take a breath before his assent spills forth from his mouth.

“Yes,” he whispers. Then, firmer—louder, “Yes. I want to fight. For her. For us.”

Because of course he would, the rebel son of God. He would.

“Then what are you standing around here talking to me for? Go!”

“And what of Hell? What's to stop the demons from coming after me again. It would really help against whatever's coming if I wasn’t worrying about a possession epidemic on top of the apocalypse.”

And Frank thinks about those scant seconds before he died. How fleeting but impactful his last words had been. “Maybe he put me in yours,” he had said. “Your Father has a plan.” He thinks about how easily the words had slipped out, almost of their own volition.

He thought dying meant the cold. But—in that transitory precipice of life and death, the sanguine fluid that fueled his essence leaking from his body and staining his cassock, and Lucifer’s hands, red—held in the arms of the Devil, all he felt was warmth… a glowing fireplace after a day in the snow, the fiery embers of a bonfire, the comforting flame of an inimitable presence scoring across his heart, engulfing his soul. It was magnificent.

One might even say divine.

And in that moment, he knew.

“I'll do it,” he says. “I will rule Hell in your stead.”

And he can see Lucifer gunning for a laugh ‘til he notices the steely glint in Frank's eyes, the resolve firming the lines of his figure, making him seem taller. Stately. Royal.

“Have I ever told you,” he starts, a smirk burgeoning on his lips, “that my full name is Frankiel?”

“Spear of God,” Lucifer translates, slowly.

“Your Father has a plan,” he repeats.

Understanding dawns in Lucifer's eyes.

“Doesn't mean it's always a good one,” he ripostes, weakly.

“And yet,” Frank chuckles, surety making him bold, excited even, as he gathers him into his arms. “I’m certain that in this, we can both agree—it is. It works.” He nods onto the taller man’s stiff shoulder. “It has to.”

Because this is what he endured the pain of living for—so that in death, he could give another a chance to be reborn, to return the love which had been so lost to him before. Because God may work in mysterious ways, but He used him as a vessel and revealed the truth of Lucifer to him, so that he could use his final breaths to bestow a glimmer of hope into His son.

He would accept no other explanation apart from this miracle unfolding before him—all the cogs and wheels that made up his life, and afterlife, shifting into perfect gear.

He says as much to Lucifer, and though he shakes his head as if in denial, he gradually returns the embrace. Frank closes his eyes—and knows that same hope that tethered him in those final, critical, beautiful moments of his life, is now a living, breathing entity in Lucifer’s own soul because—when he opens them, the Devil is gone.

There is much to work out—the insurgence of the demons that will surely reignite at Lucifer’s once more, and final, departure, arranging visits with his daughter, how to get up on that damned throne, perhaps begin forging a new one in its stead, figure out whatever his freshly-anointed status truly entails. There will be time for all of that, eons of it, even. But for now…

The priest walks out onto the edge of the balcony that overlooks his newfound domain—Hell is a sprawling, ebony terrain before him.

And this, quite naturally, is how Father Frank ends up ruling it.

AN: Honestly, I wrote this because I just really miss Father Frank. Even after S4 'A Priest Walks into a Bar' is still hands down one of my most favorite episodes in all four seasons.

And, just as Father Frank, I too would sacrifice my spot in Heaven if it meant Deckerstar could be together. LET THEM BE HAPPY!!!

Speaking of, I got some bigger stuff in the works. This came to me at a 4am, sleep-deprived yet frenzy, haze and wouldn't leave me alone till it was written. I know, the lack of Chloe in this is abysmal XD but rest assured, the Deckerstar program should resume soon so, stay tuned!

[afterpinkdiamond]

Sadie’s Song S2E17

Ever feel like a song was written exactly for you? Steven should feel this way about Sadie’s song because it’s really Pink Diamond’s song. 

Steven is passing out flyers for Beachapalooza, marking roughly a full year since “Steven and the Stevens” and enters The Big Donut to ask Sadie to hang one in the window. She is nowhere to be found behind the counter, so Steven looks in the back room. Sadie is back there, stocking the supply shelves and singing along with the radio. She’s happy and having fun, unaware Steven is there. Steven interrupts her with wild applause and Sadie becomes immediately embarrassed and anxious. Steven explains his flyer mission and suggests that Sadie should sign up to perform! He’s very encouraging and Sadie is eventually convinced to try.  

Sadie and Steven head to her house after she gets off work in order to plan the routine. Steven is impressed by her basement room and pile of stuffed animals. She says she doesn’t like the animals and offers to let him have one. He refuses and they start planning. Sadie wants to practice singing but Steven reminds her that she needs an outfit (due to his act two years ago making clothing mandatory, Yikes Steven.) She pulls out two options, initially rejecting a simple blue dress because it seems a bit much out of her comfort zone when added to the singing. Just then an upstairs door slams and Sadie tells Steven they can do this another time. 

Barb comes rushing down the stairs into Sadie’s room, excited to give her a stuffed teddy bear. Sadie thanks her and casually throws it on the pile of stuffed animals Steven had noticed earlier. Barb asks what Steven is doing there and he spills the tea about planning a routine for Sadie to perform at Beachapalooza. Barb is ecstatic, jumping into action and pulling several old costumes out of Sadie’s closet, remembering all the things she was (briefly) involved in. What follows afterward is a montage to the song Sadie is planning to sing where Steven and Barb do everything while Sadie tries to escape. Including a full makeover. Sadie sounds incredibly anxious when they finish, asking her name not be on the flyer, prompting Barb to suggest a mystery guest theme.

Barb can fricken move it for a woman in a knee brace

That night at the show, Mr. Smiley is running the event, introducing various Beach City residents and their acts. Meanwhile, Sadie and Co. are behind the stage, prepping an anxious star to be. I didn’t want to mention it but Ronaldo’s act is a speech on Rock People and his chalkboard has what looks like a crude drawing of Peridot and the Diamond Authority’s 4 part emblem. I hate how often the Crewniverse lets him be just oh so close to the truth. 

Mr. Smiley comes backstage and seeing Sadie for the first time, realizes she’s anxious about the show. He basically tells her to grin and bear it, doing nothing to actually help. Barb and Steven continue to get on her nerves with glitter and makeup brushes until Barb steps away to grab the emergency supply of glitter. Sadies sees the “cool kids” out in the crowd and overhears Jenny saying she’s going to be ready to film in case someone gets hurt. Lars is also hanging out with them and Sadie suddenly can’t breathe. She tries to calm down with Steven nagging her about rehearsing and messing up her makeup. He’s not listening to her and she eventually just dunks her head in the water cooler to wash off all the makeup. Steven is confused, and when he askes why she yells that he’s as bad as her mom. Barb comes back just in time to hear this. Sadie goes on to confess that she wanted to do this her way for once but Barb and Steven completely took over and wouldn’t listen to her. She details out other activities she wanted to try but was immediately pushed to excel in by her mom. Just as Mr. Smiley is announcing the Mystery Guest performance, Steven realizes he was the one who wanted to perform all along.

And so he jumps out on stage in Sadie’s dress and makeup to sing her song and do the routine he helped make for her. While he sings, Barb and Sadie have a heart to heart. The ending of the song, previously only partially heard, is then sung by Sadie in the back room of the Big Donut with Steven accompanying her on the ukelele.

Let’s talk about the song and Steven’s outfit for a second. First, may I point out the rose poofs on his heels that totally look like Pink Diamond’s pompoms. Second, the frilly collar and midsection cutout that is reminiscent of the details on Pink’s outfit. Third, the makeup star that was meant to hide Sadie’s scar. Later in season 5 when Sadie Killer and the Suspects forms, her makeup actually accents her scar, but her mother (or Steven) tried to hide it. The scar is from “Island Adventure” a mark of her mistake in trying to trick Lars into spending time together. Sadie didn’t want a gimmick for Beachapalooza, and she wasn’t comfortable dressed in a “girly” fashion and singing a cliche pop song. But when she does get the chance to do it her way, her music and her band is a huge hit!

The song Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star) sounds like a cliche pop song but really it sounds tailor-made for Pink Diamond. “I can’t help it if I make a scene/Stepping out of my hot pink limousine” directly foreshadows LFHTH. “ I'm turning heads, and I'm stopping traffic/When I pose, they scream, and when I joke, they laugh.” This sounds like the kind of mischief she caused on Homeworld before Earth. Telling jokes and generally being a nuisance to the other Diamonds. Scandalous mischief even. “I've got a pair of eyes that they're getting lost in/They're hypnotized by the way I'm walking/I've got them dazzled like a stage magician/When I point, they look, and when I talk, they listen” This sounds like Pink interacting with her court, especially the line about a stage magician which would seem to reference shattering herself in front of them. It’s also at this point that the song turns, the key changes as does the general pattern of the music. “Well, Everybody needs a friend/And I've got you and you and you” While this seems to be indicating a crowd in-song, pointing out three specific friends seem to refer to the rebel gems, perhaps Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth before the rest of the rebellion with: “ So many, I can't even name them/Can you blame me? I'm too famous.” And the song finishes out with the singer failing very publically, “Haven't you noticed that I'm a star?/I'm coming into view as the world is turning./Haven't you noticed I've made it this far?/Now, everyone can see me burning.” just like Rose thought she won the rebellion until the damage attack from the Diamonds. 

The song is clearly about Pink Diamond, and the episode focuses on how Sadie relates to that narrative in the context of her overly enthusiastic mother who pushed her far beyond her limits at the mere mention of having an interest in something. Barb wanted everyone to see how special Sadie is but never gave Sadie the time and space to figure out who she wanted to be and that strained their relationship, although Sadie being non-confrontational it mostly manifested as her hiding her lunches at work instead of enjoying them and acting ashamed of her mother. Rose was ashamed of her past for many reasons, but a lot of it came down to the poor child-parent esque relationship she had with the other diamonds, as evidenced by the Diamond Days episodes. This episode is full of foreshadowing about Pink without directly tieing to Rose or her backstory. It’s kind of masterful.