#I was just reading throam... help

[throamguide]

hi!! do u know why anna decided not to rewrite and publish throam as an original work?

Hi! First off, some background: even in 2017-2018, when Anna was posting about the rewrite and talking about publishing it, she was open about the fact that it might never happen: "A rewritten version might never get published, anyway, so don't freak out." (X)

It also wouldn't be easy to rid it of its fanfiction past, as with something like 50 Shades of Gray (Twilight AU fic) because of THROAM's relative internet fame.

Anna also disliked when bandom people IRL (people she wrote about) would find out about THROAM because of fans bringing it up to them. Which is completely understandable. Because it happened quite a bit. She sums it up well in a heated post from 2019: Choice. And it had to be said because a lot of people ended up referencing, asking about, or even reading THROAM, presumably because of fans: Dallon, Jon, Vicky, Keltie, Z Berg...

Anna also moved away from bandom in general and started writing about K-pop groups (she's still at it!) and hinted at some original fiction. Finleighsaid, her URL towards the end of her Tumblr days, was some sort of reference to an original character of her's (I think?).

While writing this I had a look at the THROAM Fanlore page (which I helped write because my teenage self had no life) and found Anna's explanation as to why she stopped rewriting it:

March 25, 2019

Monday confessionals - I haven’t even had wine or anything. Some juice, though. Is sugar a drug?

Anyway, it is yet again that I have not posted anything here for a good while, and in the interest of Managing Expectations (whose? idk) I thought I’d give an update. Or, nay, a nopedate. (I’m sorry, I’m trying.) When last summer I decided that perhaps I ought to work the trilogy towards publication, I was working part-time and was kind of weighing my options as to what to do in life. (I still am. Is anyone out there a career counsellor? Please send me some help, thanks.) Anyway, I had time to work on the rewrite in cafés after or before work, and I was quite into it! Then I swapped for a full-time job and all of my rewrite efforts, essentially, ceased. I realise now why I wrote the story when I was a student: I had sooooo much time. From 2009 to 2019, I suddenly don’t have that luxury anymore.

So what I am saying is that, from my end, and for now, the project is definitely on hiatus. You know, like one of your favourite emo bands. I don’t want to mislead people into thinking I am actively working on the project when I haven’t touched it in weeks or even months. I don’t know if my situation will change in the future, or if this is the universe telling me to let it go. I know some people definitely want me to just let the story be! And I know some really want to see it published, too. And you know what, if I ever did publish it, people would always just shrug it off as bandom fic, and it’s hard for me to deal with the reality of people constantly looking down at something I love very dearly. So I have my hesitations and reservations, and I have Dean stood at Venice Beach in 1969, staring at the waves and a decade of stardom.

I have always been my most successful in producing and finishing stories when I have selfishly written whatever makes me happy. I suppose the rewrite is not that for me right now.

Thank you for your patience. Soul searching is hard. xx

[thatfragilecheesewhizaddict]

Nothing Rhymes with Circus tour Brendon

[pemadais]

So you’ve just read/reread THROAM and your brain itch demands more

This is gonna be a super niche post but... idk, if it can help two people, I’ll be glad to have made it.

I recently reread The Heart Rate of a Mouse for probably the fifth time and it reignited that particular brain itch for long, emotionally dense works of angsty, poetic writing entailing an unstoppable meant-to-be type love.

While browsing through AO3′s bandom works, I stumbled across a fic that perfectly scratches that THROAM itch. Don’t get me wrong - it is by no means a clone. It’s a wonderfully well written story with its own unique, individual plot and I don’t mean to imply anything otherwise, but somehow the heart of it feels the same. The scenes are adorable and heartbreaking, the characters infuriating and loveable, the plot engaging and unpredictable, and it’s a band fic set in the 60s! If you’re looking for that same vibe, give this a try. I’m not even in the Beatles fandom but I loved it (though I recommend reading up on the band’s history beforehand - things make more sense that way.) I also can’t believe this was written just last year, it reads like a certified bandom classic??

On Our Way Back Home by @purechocolade - 360k McLennon time travel au. Go ham and leave a kudos!

Let me know if this was helpful for even a single person on this website :)

[cyberstabbing]

Someone left a long and heart-felt message about THROAM to Anna Green on her curiouscat page and Anna replied with a long message as well. I’m pasting the text here so I don’t ever lose it:

May 1st, 2020

Anonymous: Part 1 of 2 — Hey Anna I followed THROAM back when I was heavy in the panic fandom; I would leave you these ridiculously long comments on lj and read your updates late into the night, when I knew my parents wouldn’t catch me. I was 15. Almost Famous was my favorite movie, Ryden was my otp, you were already my favorite fic author, and I loved nothing more than a long, developed, realism-based slowburn. When you started writing THROAM, it was like my dream fic had been dropped in my lap. I was so enthralled, so in awe of you, so appreciative of your craft. I remember those weeks between updates stretching seemingly endlessly. But I never resented the long waits; I re-read previous chapters, perused your other fics, and knew that you were taking the time because the time was worth it. Your attention to detail was unmatched. 

 I am now 25 years old now, with a master’s degree and a job. Nearly every 1-2 years of the past decade, I get a certain itch. And before I know it, I’m re-reading the anthology, page by page, just as consumed as I was the first time around. I find your dialogue and characterization so compelling that I often can’t help but quietly read the lines out loud to myself. Once I’ve picked it up, THROAM occupies much of my thoughts when I’m not actively reading it, and my nights stretch into the wee hours as I plow through the pages. I saved pdf versions of each volume long ago, but to also have the print copies on my shelf gives me such an enormous sense of relief. To know that whatever moves you make, whatever happens to lj or ao3 or the internet at large, I will still have my throam copies...that brings me joy. 

 I know that you have far outgrown this story, the role it played in your life, the time that you spent writing it, and the person you were back then. The thing is—so have I. It’s remarkable; I am not an active member of any fandoms and am a very different version of myself from the girl who followed this fic’s release. And the version of myself who re-read it my first year of college is a different person from the girl who re-read it as she started her first job. So many different lonely chapters of my life, always punctuated by a return to this old friend. Because of fic stigma, shame, and the whole panic at the disco + lots of explicit sex thing, I refrain from ever sharing the volumes with others, so it feels like I have this little, ever-expanding world of my own with THROAM. Such a huge part of my life, and nobody I know knows a thing about it. It’s special, really. (Cont’d)

pineconepickers: <3333 answer in the next one!

Anonymous: Part 2:  Some pages I can practically recite from memory, and yet others read as fresh and surprising each time around. I still feel the same frustration and pain, I’m still swept up by the allure of Ryan’s fame, the impressiveness of his talent, I’m still enthralled by the mad world of 70s rock, I still chuckle at R’s snarky internal monologue and shake my head at his deeply ego-centric world view, it the boys’ cowardices and braveries, at their spite and their bitterness and their love. I still feel the same flutter in my heart at some of the more tender scenes. I still smile softly when I notice the subtle shifts (messy and tentative) towards growth in Ryan’s character. I’m still shocked by just how invested I am in the many side characters, how fully rounded they all are. And it’s still the hottest sex I have ever, ever read. 

 I was an English major who now teaches English, and I have never had this kind of relationship with another text. Nothing has ever been so relentlessly revisitable, nothing ever nags at me if I go too long without re-reading, nothing consumes me quite like this, and few character dynamics have ever been quite so compelling. The 25 year old woman who had long shaken the fandom world feels so grateful to have been in the right place at the right time to have discovered this story. And I am eternally grateful to you for the care, effort, and absolute labor of love this story demanded. As an avid fic defender and devotee, you shifted my whole paradigm of what fic could be. This masterpiece set the bar impossibly high. Furthermore, thank you for continuing to make it accessible to fans old and new. 

Anyway, as I marvel at this fic’s everlasting effect and your writing’s power, I just had to say my piece. It’s been a decade since I last waxed poetic in full fangirl mode at you. Seemed like the time was ripe. 

Best and sincerely grateful,  C

pineconepickers: Hi, C! Wow I really did not expect to wake up to this and it's left me quite speechless, to be honest. First of all, I am so touched by this letter and would love to give you a hug, but social distancing and all that. ;) Then, to be consistent, tut tut to your minor self for reading explicit adult content - I have to say this because it is a line I feel ever more strongly about, but of course I too used to read adult fics when I was a minor, yada yada yada... And so often people grow up to be immensely embarrassed by what they enjoyed at 15 or 16, and I see a lot of that Shame Discourse around THROAM too, which, as its author, can make you think you just wrote a bad story that no one wants to admit they liked (although they all read it - it's complicated!). 

So, ten years on, it's great to hear that the story still compels you and that it has aged in a way that you still enjoy it. THROAM has had such a strange afterlife that I never could have predicted, both good and bad, and my own relationship with the work has grown increasingly complex over the years. You outgrow stories, as you rightly said, and you outgrow your own writing style, too, and become increasingly critical of your past efforts, alas - yet I still have an immense love for the story and its flaws, I can at a moment's notice see snow drifting down on a winter night in Bismarck or am blinded by California sun or taste the salt in the air on a beach in Maine like I never left. Fic will always be regarded as less than "real fiction" - throw in emo bands and sex and even more so. But what is wrong with fictional self-indulgence in a world that often gives you little? I haven't read THROAM cover to cover in years (it's SO LONG), partly out of worry what I'll find there of my self-perceived "bad writing", but I read snippets sometimes and there is still a pull to the story, for me, that I am relieved to find. 

I was around 25 when I finished the story - and thus the circle closes. It's hard for me now to fathom the years I spent on it, the sheer number of hours, days, weeks, months it took me to write. What was 23-25 year-old me doing! But she wrote it because she had the story and no other reason. Its afterlife and readership has completely surprised me, but I am glad I didn't know it when I was writing it or I'd never have managed to finish it! 

And so it warms me now, endlessly, that the story still has importance to you and that it has grown with you. It is especially lovely to hear when I myself have clearly detached myself from the story, somewhat - it really feels like the story doesn't belong to me anymore because it took on such a life of its own. So thank you for reminding me that I, too, should give the story more love than I do - and that not all that ages needs to be left behind. Much love <333

[shes-the-smoke]

ryden fic recommendations:

1. throam (obviously)

set in the 1970s, ryan is a famous musician and brendon is a roadie who goes on tour with the band. very long, very emotional. 9.5/10

2. in case the scene gets nasty

hs au. ryan and brendon are rivals and get stuck in detention with each other. typical “enemies to lovers” fic. 7/10

3. infinite sometimes

hs au. i haven’t read this in a long time but i do remember that it was very fluffy and cute. one of them has trauma to work through and the other helps. 6/10

4. the black rose season

college au. ryan is appointed to join a fraternity in order to find out more about a secret society that may or may not exist. so many plot twists, kinda cliche at the same time but overall good. 7/10

5. the red-eyed owl trilogy

hockey au. ryan is an nhl player, and brendon is hired as his teams physiotherapist. i’ve read this one so many times, it’s so angsty and amazing. 9/10

6. back to the place

my favorite fic besides throam. ryan takes brendon back to The Cabin a few years after the band went there the first time. angsty and beautiful. 10/10

7. down the rabbit hole

ryan goes to spencer’s wedding, where he sees brendon again. so good, so angsty. 8/10

8. abomination

hs au. ryan’s dad is a pastor, and being gay is wrong. then he meets brendon. this fic is a little cliché but i still really liked it. 7/10

9. sk8er boi

brendon didn’t like picking his little sister up from her ice skating lessons, but hey, at least the coach was hot. very good very cute fic, but hard to find. 8/10

10. first base

hs/baseball au. ryan’s on the school baseball team and brendon is in love with him. 6/10

11. your heart’s a mess

one year since the split, and brendon’s not doing too well. pete comes up to a plan: make ryan fall in love with him again. this one is cheesy but i liked it. 7/10

12. the impossible is possible

hs au. brendon moves high schools and meets a disturbed teen named ryan. i don’t remember much from this story because i only read it once, but it was good. 6/10

13. my heart speaks

ryan works at build-a-bear workshop, and brendon comes in way too often. cute fic. 7/10

14. posing in a ballroom

ryan and brendon are both from well off families. ryan develops a crush, brendon and spencer are step brothers. this one is controversial, whoever reads it either really likes it or really doesn’t. it has step brother incest in it, and i couldn’t get past that. 4/10

15. gold and coal

set during the london industrial revolution era, ryan is dirt poor and works in a factory. brendon is his boss’s son. this one is so good, i’ve read it multiple times. 8/10

16. a little more touch me

brendon has a thing for ryan’s hands. i was recommended this one not knowing it was basically pwp, but it was still good. 5/10

17. the remarkable misfortunes of ryan ross

fantasy au. brendon is prince with a “preference” towards boys. his father, the king, gets him ryan as a “present” until his desires pass. what happens is not at all what you’d expect. massive tw for this one. it’s very violent and hard to read at times but it’s an incredible story. 8.5/10

18. no use in turnin’ on your light

ryan is a folksinger who moves in next door to brendon during the summer of 1963. kind of slow burn but so good. 8/10

19. miguel sanchez’s grand slam of love

tennis au. ryan is the greatest tennis player there is, until a an up-and-coming newbie beats him at his own game. a rivalry is born, and blossoms into something more. this one is so underrated, i love it. 9/10

20. footsteps in the snow

fantasy/soulmate au. in a world where soulmates used to exist, two people might have found each other against all the odds. this one is just so good, i love it. 8/10

21. iron, neon lights, and weed

brendon wants a record deal more than anything. but when he’s suddenly thrust into the las vegas underground music scene, he falls for someone who, unfortunately, isn’t interested in attachments. great fic, i’ve read it a few times. 8/10

22. the key of victory

brendon goes on a music game show where all the contestants live in one house. there he meets ryan. this fic was a little different and i liked it a lot. 8/10

23. filthy lucre

brendon is a hooker, and ryan is the son of a billionaire. they keep meeting. i love this one, i’ve read it multiple times. it’s unfinished but has enough chapters that it doesn’t seem like it ends abruptly. 9/10

24. burning down cathedrals

brendon is a musician who gets ryan signed. 7/10

25. two weeks in hawaii

ryan is left at the alter by his fiancé, and goes on his honeymoon alone. he meets brendon. this one was a little fast paced for me, but still so cute. 8/10

26. oh doctor doctor

hospital au. ryan ross is the head surgeon, and brendon has fallen in love with him. it’s just so cute. 6/10

27. coffee

coffeeshop/hs au. ryan works at starbucks, and brendon moves in with him and jon. very angsty, but very cute. 8/10

28. this happy ending’s just beginning

brendon wants to be in a disney land parade. fortunately, a certain prince can get him exactly what he wants. cute fic, cliché but good. 7/10

(the last three fics were recommended by the amazing @incorrectthroam)

[the-angels-say]

When I was in middle school i met one of my closest friends because we were both listening to the black parade while we made collages in art class, and we teamed up to go through all the magazines we were tearing apart to find every picture of gerard way and pete wentz that we could so that we could stick them on our bedroom walls. We would go to the library before homeroom every day and a whole group of us would use the four ancient computers to trawl google images for pictures we hadn't seen before to decorate our lockers and bedrooms with, and we would print out a whole stack every day and then carry them around all day, and show them off to each other like pokemon cards at lunch or between classes. We had the same birthday and the same middle name so we decided that we were destined to be best friends forever, and we had joint birthday parties every year for most of high school. The first one was cosplay themed and she was revenge era frank iero and her boyfriend was robert smith of the cure and I was rose tyler but edgy and our friends gave us at least four matching mcr shirts. We had a my chem party one year and made coloring sheets with customizable killjoy rayguns. We used to wear matching outfits to school if our birthday fell on a weekday, and we had little clip in tiaras and coordinated makeup. We were way into bandom as a concept and we would rec fics for each other but I had way more patience and less tolerance for bad writing than her so she never read the long fics I wanted her to and I never read the bad ones she sent me, but we both read and absolutely loved throam and we obsessed about it for months, and planned to have a throam/panic themed party that year, and she was planning to buy a bound copy of all three books for us to share, and I was going to buy us shirts for one of the bands, because I felt no shame in asking my mother to buy rpf merchandise off etsy at that point in my life. So now I have pictures of me at school on my birthday (i was maybe 16?) wearing a Jackie me and this lady tour t shirt with fake dates from 1970-whatever and matching purple lipstick and she never bought the books and then a few years later we had a huge falling out except no one can remember why and we havent spoken on purpose since. And I don't. Know. What. To do with this shirt. Do I sell it? Depop or something? Can I live with the shame of accepting money for panic at the disco rpf merchandise that some poor sucker with an etsy account lovingly designed? I cannot ethically give it to goodwill I dont think. Do I let it age into some kind of collectors item? I've been typing this post so long that my phone is starting to lag and I still dont know what to do. Should I just hang on it as a keepsake? Does she still have hers? Someone please help me I'm begging my mom just keeps laughing at me when I ask her and its been weeks

[ryanrossisatwink]

Last day to join the THROAM Bookclub!

If you've read throam, never read throam, or just have fomo, come be a part of the coolest damn bookclub around!

We're on discord at https://discord.gg/zuFMqS and if you don't have an account with discord or don't know how to make one please pm me and I'll help you with that.

I want you there, everyone else wants you there. Even if we've never met, I want you there. The more the merrier and we're gonna have a fun few months reading these books together.

Come on in, introduce yourself, tell a funny joke, we start the first three chapters tomorrow!

[prettyboyrose1974]

Fanfic questions: 3, 4, 5, 11, 13, 20, 23, 27, 30, 41, 42 and 51? (if you still wanna answer those) 😀

Oh yes I was gonna do this in the morning but seeing as my blood sugar is giving me issues 🙃 and I already wrote them down I figured why not do it now

3: What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in? The marvel fandom hands down no matter what those people are the kindest fuckers

4: Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms? Nope I’ve ever learned that I should never be ashamed of anything I used to like now if this was “do you regret your past actions while in certain fandoms” then that would be a yes without a doubt

5: Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for? It would be easier to say the ships lol but My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, The Academy is..., Cobra Starship, Panic! At The Disco, Motley Crue, Oasis, and Guns n’ Roses. Now a few of those stories I’ve taken down either for the poor quality or with the oasis ones ahem some people know about those 🙂

11: Who is your current OTP? I’m pretty sure everyone including Donald Trump knows at this point but it’s izzal or as I call it normally just Izzy/Axl

13: Any NOTPs? Everyone knows or I’d like to think everyone does I despise fucking peterick but I do without going through the tag and yelling at people because ya know I’m not a fucking weirdo but besides that there’s slaxl despite one of my fave gnr oneshots being a slaxl fic lol and I’m pretty sure that’s it

20: Any ships you surprised yourself by liking? Not at the time but looking bad it’s like why the actual living fuck did I ship nikki and tommy

23: Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of and explain why? My current izzal fic I really like since it’s my first proper story I just don’t know when imma finish it, then there’s my Ryden fic that fucking blew up and I just love how I wrote it, and finally the hair band orgy it’s fucking god awful but it brought me friends which I felt like I hadn’t had in awhile

27: What do you hate more; coming up with titles or summaries? Fucking summaries man look at all my fics most of them just say “literally the title” where as the titles are either song lyrics or literally just what happens in the fic

30: What inspires you to write? I’ve talked about this before but literally every fic I’ve written has come to me in dreams I have a note on my phone filled with my dreams I’ve had about Izzy and Axl that I’m using to write but also songs do a great part in helping me

41: List and link five fics you’re currently reading. Only currently reading throam so I’ll link my five favorite fics as I seem it’d be a better idea

Let’s Break The Walls by imyourrocketqueen on rockfic I read it almost once a month and it’s just amazing and extremely well written and I recommend it to everyone into izzal

In Case The Scene Gets Nasty by Word-Plays on livejournal it’s a Ryden fic so anyone who isn’t currently emo or a past emo skip this one I guess even though I still recommend it because even if you don’t know what Ryden is it is just so fucking good I read it every now and then and it still holds up it’s just great in general

It’s Warmer In The Basement by gabilliam on livejournal again it’s a Gabilliam fic so avoid if you’re not emo or a past emo this one is not for the faint of heart it’s a wartime fic and it involves rape but TRUST ME ITS GOOD AND I LOVE IT

Dear Izzy by Slaxl19 on rockfic and okay fuck off to this story I read it once in like early August and it fucked me up for a long time like two months long time but that’s because of how well it’s written and that combined with my fragile mind it was bad but if you’re not a fucked up person like me then read it it’s fucking amazing

The Heart Rate Of A Mouse by Anna Green and you fuckers knew I had to add it and the only reason it fell on five is due to the way I saved the fics but holy shit read this I don’t give a fuck which fandom you’re in or if you’re in at all READ THIS it deserves to be published Anna green is a Fucking sweetheart who spent ages writing it and it’s in my opinion the greatest work of fanfiction ever

42: List and link five fanfiction writers who you think are amazing. I don’t know many of their tumblrs but I know a few so here we go with the link again lol

Obviously the love of my life @arnold-layne duh

Anna Green the queen of fanfiction whose tumblr I cant find so she maybe deleted it so you can find her on Twitter at pineconepickers and on livejournal as beggernotes or as artic_grey

@pleasedontmakemechoose has some cool stuff on rockfic and archive of our own but she doesn’t use tumblr anymore so she’s on Instagram as lulu_crow so there’s that make sure if you go to her Instagram to tell her that Kamryn sent ya lol

Starpupil on rockfic is an author that I get super excited about when she posts because she writes some of the most amazing gnr fics ever

And unfortunately I’ve ran out people to name because I rarely read fics on here and most people on rockfic don’t link any of their other accounts so you know what can a girl do

AND FINALLY

51: Rant or Gush about something in the world of fanfiction. Imma do both because fuck y’all

So ranting right a lot of people ship the dumbest ships and it’s clear they only “ship” because they like the idea of two dudes fucking so fuck those people then there’s the folk who only read smut and no I’m not talking about you Isabella but yeah that irrates me a bit then there’s ship bashing like who the hell has time to run a ship hate blog like bro you do realize you’re obsessed with talking about something you claim to hate that’s a little fucking weird just saying OH the fucking writers who hate criticism and either blocked “Hate” comments or just turned off commenting all together also a lot of wattpad authors bother me despite the fact I know they’re young and not that experienced because I was that person at one point but my god those eleven year olds really do think they’re hot shit don’t they

NOW TIME FOR GUSHING okay so the fact I can go to reading a fic about how Axl is downright terrified to fuck slash because his cock is just that huge to reading something that has me crying every few minutes is just amazing to me and I love that then there’s the fact some fics have literally changed some of my views on the world like after reading throam I was a whole new bitch then there’s the fact that fanficition normally pushes me to like the band or whatever more and that after awhile I’m able to ditch the fics and just have the overwhelming love for that band is just really nice to have that sorta support (this definitely didn’t happen with Pink Floyd I tried to read one once and nearly puked)

[incorrectthroam]

HI! just wanted you to know that u inspired me to read THROAM im only on the 3rd chapter in like, the first book. but so far its nice! and I like it! no one told me it was set in the seventies so that was a nice surprise! :) anywho...have a nice day lol

This makes me so happy??? It really is an amazing series and I’m so glad I can help more people find it. I hope you have an awesome sauce day 💖

[patdlifestyle]

Send help

I’m a wreck. I just finished volume one of throam. This is my third tome reading and it hit just as hard, if not harder than the first two times

[ryd-n]

I just started reading throam a couple days ago and I’m almost 2/3 through volume two??? Help??? I think I’m I love with this series and it’s going to kill me for sure.

oh my god you’re one fast reader! 

and yeah, definitely. it’s so beautifully and heart-achingly written, and i hope you come back to me after you’re done with it so we can weep together sdkfjhdsf

[possessedcoast]

I follow Pathetic at the disco, and was wondering if you had the proof where they’ve do e problematic things? I’ve only been following them for a bit and I haven’t seen anything to terrible. (Isn’t hate or anything just curious)

sure! i don’t really mean to hate on anyone or cause more drama, but some of the things they do really bother me. this got a little long and a lot bitter, so i’m sorry i couldn’t write this without any bias. this will be under a cut in case others would rather not read it. and if you want more clarification or a full, fleshed out post, just ask. 

- we can start with them using psychopath in one of their urls. it’s not a word that should be used casually or to refer to people who aren’t diagnosed as a psychopath. they admitted that they were just using the word because it would give them a memorable url. and because “The title was just too good to pass up”

- they say that  “Brendon is out as at least somewhat bisexual (even if he tries to back pedal on it a lot)“ even though he continually refers to himself as straight. (this isn’t great, it’s not terrible, but it connects to the next point) EDIT: please note that all of this was before brendon came out as pan. he now identifies as pansexual, so that’s that.

-they refuse to consider that ryan is anything other than Completely Straight™ and blocked both me and @badbradwalker for trying to share our opinions. they say they’re “letting ryan himself set the narrative” but they also don’t believe brendon when he says he’s straight? okay. they also refused to post any of the “proof” that they asked for about ryan and dan being a couple. proof that is publicly visible on either dan or ryan’s instagrams without having to do any ~~deep analysis~~ 

- they deeply analyze ryan’s personal life and mental health, which honestly just makes me uncomfortable. i know that i personally believe in ryan having relationships with men, which is about his personal life, but i don’t go digging to find proof or just read into things. the mods deeply analyze every little bit of his life, even going so far as to make assumptions about his mental health based on his instagram. (that’s at the end of this post) 

-in the same vein as the last point, they like to make assumptions and then present it as fact. unless they personally know ryan, which would make me even more uncomfortable, they make a lot of assumptions about his personal life. saying that he’s not collaborating with friends on new music (we have no idea), saying he’s “a very troubled artist,” saying his behavior was “erratic” as if they know what he’s like personally, 

-they keep bringing up the chelsey/stalker issue and not letting it die. yes chelsey is/was messed up. yes, it would be best if she was off the internet. but her being active on youtube and instagram is not a new thing. she’s not hacking accounts/pretending to be anyone/going to anyone’s houses. she’s just being a fan online. i don’t forgive her for what she did and i don’t think she’s a good person, but we need to move past it as a fan community. she thrives off of the attention and it would be better for everyone if they stopped giving her so much.

-they post “rare” pictures without ryan’s express permission. this one isn’t that bad, because someone else did post them first, but the point remains. ryan probably doesn’t even know that there are pictures out there of him as a baby and with his dad. i don’t want to assume ryan’s feelings, but he seems to be a private person, esp post 2013, so i can’t imagine he would be thrilled for those to be seen by the entire internet. his dad put them in his yearbook, yes, but i’m certain ryan didn’t know or thing that the entire internet would see them when his dad decided to put them in the book.

-they have a whole “leave ryan ross alone” ~campaign~ they’re trying to make a thing, but then they don’t leave ryan alone. they make those super detailed, super researched analyses of everything about ryan, and then try to tell people to leave him alone. like in that post they say “Let him redefine himself as he sees fit, even if it’s not what you want personally.“ but uhhhh they refuse to accept that he’s not straight?

-it also made me really uncomfortable that they shared pictures of ryan when he was wasted at that phases show back in 2015. (i’m not linking that. i will not take part in spreading those) i don’t have a screenshot or a link, but i remember z asking people on twitter to not spread those because ryan regretted that night and was embarrassed. for “leave ryan alone,” they had no problem searching for and sharing those pictures.

finally, a few nit-picky things that aren’t really big deals, but while i’m here! might as well!

 -they hate on throam a lot. it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, some people take it too seriously. whatever. it’s a good piece of literature regardless of your feelings on ryden, and it means a lot to a lot of people. there’s no reason to be so hateful about it.

-they take everything so seriously. …and then they make analyses about it! like, no one actually believes anything happened in cape town. it’s a running joke to be like “WHAT HAPPENED IN CAPE TOWN” because it was the last show panic ever did before ry and jon left. and they act like they’re running a professional blog, calling themselves Mods C, B, and M instead of using names. it makes me tired. most things are just not that deep.

-honestly this is the most shallow of points and it’s just me being petty at this point, but i’m annoyed so. they caption so many pictures of panic with “Another day, another inexplicable Panic! at the Disco photo shoot.“ when half of them are easily explainable (the magazine says “hanging out backstage” so that’s what they’re doing, they’re posing with a honda civic because IT’S THE HONDA CIVIC TOUR) or it was the early 2000s and all band photoshoots were weird. just look at fall out boy, mcr, basically any band during that time. let it go.

sorry this got so long and bitter. feel free to ask me or lex ( @badbradwalker ) about any of it. she helped a lot on this too.

EDIT: i’ve spoken with carrie about all of this multiple times. we’re over all of it, but i’m leaving this up for transparency’s sake. i still stand by everything i said, but i’m too tired and too old to deal with any of this bullshit. treat ryan with respect. fuck brendon urie

[just-folie-a-deux-it]

I just reread the black rose season by Anna green and now I’m full on crying can I just have some adorable ryden fluff pls??

I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t read that one. I’m not a huge fan of Anna Green (really really don’t like THROAM) but I can only imagine what you’re going through rn

Both Brendon and Ryan having little colds and it’s not like freakin’ mono or something (shoutout to ma girl with mono rn ily bb) but it’s enough that Brendon’s pretty whiny and needy and Ryan’s kinda grouchy, so they just hole up on the couch together with a pile of blankets and lots of tissues and juice and watch movies until they get better

Brendon finding this dog on the street one day and that thing is the oldest, grizzliest, grumpiest, dirtiest thing Ryan has ever seen and he’s like “No, absolutely not” but Brendon bathes the dog and gets him all cleaned up and pretty and he’s like “We have to keep him, his owners just abandoned him!” and that’s how Ryan starts every morning grumbling to this dog about how Brendon hogged the covers, or about how there’s no more coffee, and Brendon always smiles to himself in bed when he hears Ryan wake up because he think Brendon’s asleep, but in reality Brendon just likes to listen to him talk to the dog

Brendon watching some sad movie that’s not really that sad, but for whatever reason always makes him cry and one week he just watches it over and over and over and finally Ryan is like, nope, no more, movie is going to be put up for a while, but Brendon cries even harder about that so Ryan puts the stupid thing back in and ends up watching it and at one point Brendon turns and sees Ryan is just silently crying and he can’t help but laugh to himself because this isn’t even where it gets good

Brendon and Ryan having a cooking contest because Brendon said he was a way better cook than Ryan and Ryan laughed and Brendon got pissed, so they each spend like, an entire day making a meal and have their friends come over to taste it, and their friends are like “This is all terrible we’re ordering take out, throw it away” 

[l0verswhilewesleep]

I just started reading throam and I read volume 1 in like 2 days I'm so obsessed send help

[cyberstabbing]

So I just happened to stumble across your blog, when looking through Rec lists for Frerard (yours is great btw) and I happened to notice you’d been reblogging lotsa stuff about THROAM. I’ve never read it but I’ve been tempted - and judging by your posts and stuff I assume you’ve already read them, which is why I’m asking, would you recommend I read it? I’m still kinda unsure because longer fics kinda intimidate me not gonna lie, but yeah, that’s all.

Anon, I’m so glad you asked. Yes I recommend throam and YES I think you should read it. Or at least try it out! You can read the prologue here, it features Sisky–my absolute favorite character in throam. 

I also get intimidated by longer fics (and throam is looong) and I normally stick to reading fics around 30k. The nice thing about throam though is that it doesn’t drag out too much, in my opinion. That’s what gets to me with a lot of fic that goes on and on for 70 chapters, many of which aren’t really needed, or could be sanded down completely. Throam manages to avoid that. Plus, it’s really a trilogy and takes place over the course of several years. That’s going to end up at several hundred k no matter what you do. In any case, as someone who prefers shorter fics, throam still has my seal of approval as one of the exceptions. :)

I will warn you, it’s got major angst. But also some hilarious scenes and dialogue. And some incredible historical accuracy, which is what I’m a sucker for! Think of it more as a book (because of it’s length and canon-divergence) than your usual fic, if that helps. 

Thank you for writing! 

[folkinaroud]

leave it to me to have a ryden fic rec page in the year 2018

The Heart Rate of a Mouse– This one is at the top of my list for a reason. The rest of the list isn’t ordered. If you haven’t read this yet, it is a Must ™ and do not, I cannot stress this enough, forget to read or skip the prologue. Things you need to know: 70′s AU, Ryan’s the lead singer of a popular band, Brendon is a stand-in roadie, 513k words.

In Case The Scene Gets Nasty– Oh boy did this fic keep me up all night reading it. It’s really h**king good. Things you need to know: High School AU, Ryan and Brendon hate each other until they don’t, 95k words.

The Black Rose Season– Pretty enjoyable, somewhat ridiculous, and I loved every single minute of it. By the same author who wrote THROAM. Things you need to know: College AU, Ryan is hired to spy on a fraternity for “cult”-like activities, Brendon, the boy of his dreams happens to be in said fraternity, 158k words.

Oh Doctor Doctor– This was in the middle of a fic binge and it stuck out so here it is on the list. Good and fluffy and smutty and angsty (I think). Things you need to know: Hospital AU, Brendon is a doctor, Ryan is a doctor, they are both really obsessed with each other and both are oblivious, 17k words.

Filthy Lucre– The smut in this one is always impressive, the plot… not so much. It could probably be 20 chapters shorter, but I’m gonna love it anyway so you should read it anyway. Things you need to know: Prostitution AU, Ryan is a millionaire, Brendon is the hooker that he happens to be fixated on, 363k words, not completed, drug use, rape.

Two Weeks in Hawaii– One of the cutest fics you will ever read. Though it’s over the course of two weeks, it seems like way longer, to be honest. Really good side Gablliam. Things you need to know: Vacation AU, Ryan was left at the alter, Brendon is the Hawaii native he falls for while on his “honeymoon” 135k words.

Footsteps in the Snow– So Good. It Is Amazing. One Of My Favorites By Anna Green. One Of My Favorites Of All Time. Things you need to know: Fantasy AU, people have halves (like an extreme soulmate), Brendon works in a magic shop, Ryan is a wanderer, 11k words.

No Use Turnin’ on Your Light– Really really good fic. This one made me just so happy and it’ll make you happy too. Things you need to know: 60′s Small Town AU, Brendon is engaged to a nice girl, Ryan is a famous folk singer who happens to move into an empty barn next to Brendon’s place, 10k words. 

Black and White Piano Keys– Another one that was in the middle of a fic binge, obviously worth something if I remember it.  Blatant foreshadowing that I somehow missed. Things you need to know: College AU, Ryan needs help with his creative writing capstone project, Brendon is the music major who helps him compose some stuff for said project, 8k words.

Iron, Neon Lights & Weed– This one I was so down for from start to finish, the plot is amazing. Same author as THROAM. Hella side Joncer (the sequel for them is here). Things you need to know: Underground Club AU, Brendon wants a record deal, Ryan is the hot leader of the club who can get it for him,  92k words.

Miguel Sanchez’s Grand Slam of Love– I have heard this described as THROAM with less sexual confusion and a tenth of the length which is pretty accurate as far as characterization goes, but they’re both by Anna Green so. I enjoy this one quite a bit. Things you need to know: Tennis AU, Ryan is the #1 tennis player in the world, Brendon is the rookie that catches him by surprise, 56k words. 

Remember the C Shot– Just some good straight up smut if that’s what you’re in to. Also by THROAM author, Anna Green. Things you need to know: Porn Star AU, Brendon and Ryan are doing a scene together, 6k words.

This One Time at Band Camp– The typical characterization in a Ryden fic. Still good though, the plot is nice. Things you need to know: Band Camp AU, Brendon is trying to escape his homosexual thoughts, but his section leader (and cabin-mate) Ryan is just really hot, 15k words.

Divine Intervention– Once again, another Camp AU with like,,,, the most basic characterization. But hey it’s on my rec list so I obviously like it. Things you need to know: Bible Camp AU, Ryan is gay and tryin’ to fight off his thoughts of his cabin-mate Brendon (who is tryin’ to fight off his gay thoughts too), 40k words.

Nerds in Love– Really really really really cute, I smiled the whole time I read it. I cannot believe that anyone would hate this. Things you need to know: Best Buy (?? lol) AU, Ryan doesn’t know how to work his computer and Brendon is the Geek Squad attendent or whatever it’s called, 22k words.

Fade Theory– Nice (I think). I read this one at like 4 a.m. one night so I don’t remember too much, but it stuck enough to make it on the list. It reminds me of Catcher in the Rye for some reason. Things you need to know: Poor Meets Rich AU, Ryan is an alcoholic and he gets a job at some company cleaning, he keeps running into Brendon, 26k words.

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Brendon– Good for a quick read with a decent plot. Brendon is like kinda the same as always… Things you need to know: Boarding School AU, Brendon transfers to a new school and Ryan is the kid that takes him under his wing (who happens to be really fuckin’ hot), 28k words.

The Key of Victory– This is a personal favorite of mine, I think it is so creative and it has Such A Good Plot, I highly recommend this one if you have some time to kill and haven’t read it yet (or if you have, it’s worth the reread), you’ll be pleased. Things you need to know: Reality TV Show AU, Brendon is in a TV singing competition to get a record deal, Ryan is one of the celebrity judges, 64k words.

No Sex in the Champagne Room– I just read this one recently and I’m surprised that I hadn’t read it sooner. I thought it was lovely and goofy enough for me to cherish forever. Things you need to know: College / Strip Club AU, Ryan is grieving over a break up, his friends bring him to the strip club where Brendon works, 25k words.

Ok then, that’s all the fics I have for now! Rec me some if you want so I can read them and probably add them to this list. Also I’m 99.7% sure that all of these are NC-17 or at least R so be warned. Ryan tops in most except Divine Intervention and The Black Rose Season if I am remembering correctly. If he does bottom in others, it’s after the relationship is established. All the links should work, if not message me so I can fix that shit. Anyway, I spent way too long working on this. Happy reading, fuckos.