#I wish someone would pay me to do this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edenorisshitposting · 1 month

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here's a fun idea; D&D handbooks, but in the style of an early renaissance manuscript

#I wish someone would pay me to do this #this sounds fun #and also like a good portfolio piece

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sillybouquetoflillies · 2 months

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i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk #i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting #but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it #so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life #wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around #so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length #how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg #ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most #i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway #i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!!#i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well #i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately #I DUNNO #i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out #i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems #n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me #i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want #while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰#i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts #i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!!#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there #i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl #i just dont know what yet #concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent #ok i think this ramble is ovr #im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!

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derpinette · 3 months

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sometimes i will get bored & go through someone's entire blog since its creation

#& if they have their blog made unsearchable therefore no archive to pick posts from i take it as a challenge #& i really read every post not just skimming i gave up archives caus i find it hard to pay attention to individual posts #plus you never see the full tags & clearly from my postings they serve as the single most important part of a post #the actual post is more of like a title or a sort of epigraph #& i am interested in the Posters themselves like i feel compelled to absorb&gather as much information about them as possible #in an effort to understand them ( as well as myself Many epiphanies & revelations came to me from this activity i recommend it )#i just did this BTW not saying who but god if you never knew of her you totally missed out on the best Poaster tumblr has ever had to offer #her mind was unlike any other & her influence on me is so noticeable even today. wishing her well today & always #also (moving on from that) i even constantly have like 40 tumblr blog tabs open at all times #some that are even i think 3 years old now #i never close them they keep me company i will not really click on yhem either To be honest but those are like my friends My chums;#on my phone as well two year old tabs from when i was still in highschool of tumblr blogs i was reading #i just have so much Love in my heart for Posters real genuine love not interpersonal just as an Observer #well kind of interpersonal when it comes to some #so if you have a tracker & you see someone from north africa spending hours or even days or months on your blog #that would be me #i actually did spend months once back when blogs opened on the side i never shut my laptop off & my tabs are always saved #had to go back & scroll a little to keep the page active to not refresh & i got as far back as 2010 i think #because their blog did not have an archive but NOTHING will stop me OK if you got a Beautiful Mind or Gift Of Curation #i will do anything in my power to enjoy it. without disturbing you ( as much as i can anyway )

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queer-pagan-witch · 3 days

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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

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anotherpapercut · 8 months

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sometimes I feel like there's a narrative on here that like. people who work and live not with their parents in their 20s are somehow privileged and its really annoying as someone with 0 family and 0 built in support system lol

#this has nothing to do with the previous post i was just reminded of some unrelated posts I've seen #like i get what people mean but i really dont consider it a privilege to have to graduate at 16 and immediately start working to pay rent #causing a severe worsening of ny physical and mental state so that i can afford to eat #and i would just like to say for the record that id never judge someone for living with their parents because im so envious lmao #just like. of the idea of having parents that would take care of you. ive always been so fascinated by that #because my sister got married at 19 to get out of the house and then depended on her husband bc she also has trouble #working due to disability. were both physically and mentally disabled so we have that in common lol #and then she had to contend with becoming entirely dependent on a man who then had incredible power over her #and now theyre divorced and she has to try to figure out how to do all this stiff at 33 that our mother never taught us #and that ive figured out on my own over the past 7 years. and i just think damn i wish we had family lol #like maybe if we even had 1 relative who cared enough to like. check in with us even?? let alone help #thats always just seemed really incredible to me. and ill never really be able to wrap my head around it

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suntails · 2 years

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batman’s son

#should've waited to post them together but noooooo listen i didnt realize id draw this tn it just happened #should be getting a head start on my work for this week but Oops future catríona's problem lmao she'll deal with it #silver vanrouge my son my guy. i want to cure him i want to pay for his college tuition #silver and malleus are the EXACT type of people i gravitate towards irl i wish this guy was real i would adopt him in a heartbeat #twisted wonderland #twst #twst silver #what the fuck do ppl tag him with on here #someone who does twst and follows me and reads these tags pls tell me i need to know for future ref #suntails #ill give u a dollar for this info pls and ty in advance

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salty-software-engineer · 2 months

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I love letting other people watch things first and then give feedback about it so I can gauge whether or not I want to spend time on it. Truly could not give fewer fucks about spoilers. If the story is good I will still have a fantastic time.

#avatar the last airbender #it's really not looking like it's worth it #like it's high production value #but the complaints are about things that are really dealbreakers to me #they broke the plot and character development in bad ways that make them very different characters and events #the clips i've seen are visually stunning but have a marvelesque feeling of lackluster meaningless platitudes #oh yes we should definitely fight the evil and resist it and save the weak by getting stronger!#it's like someone watched/read some shonen or generic YA dystopian action and missed the entire point #maybe altogether it would be better but the way suki and sokka move in their training clips lacks weight #like they do not move like they know how to fight #no offense to the actors but i think this show really needed heavy martial arts training for all involved #and maybe they got it but they needed to really internalize the weight shifts and the way you put force behind strikes #that and seeing all the breakdowns of sokka and aangs modified arca is just disheartening #anyhow #on the other hand #heaven officals blessing #has been very worth #also i wish i could watch the donghua for #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #but i need to download the chinese spyware app or pay extra extra money on youtube to sub to the tencent channel #i think i am nust fond of the stuff mxtx writes #i should learn mandarin to read the og #i wonder if i would talk like a fanfic if i did that #like someone would hear it and be like i Know where you learned that and i sham't say it #mo xiang tong xiu

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mistninja · 15 days

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Being poor is so fun. An accident that isn't even that serious happens and suddenly you start thinking about getting a second job and quitting uni

#last week someone hit my dads car WHILE HE WAS PARKED and now we are fucked #like they are going to pay for the repair but due to some issues with the paperwork we cant get the money soon #which means my dad cant work #for at least a couple weeks #hes trying out a new gig where the company provides the car but its much harder than what he used to do and it wont pay until next month #ughhhh #i wish i had some way to earn in dollars #100 dollars would at least keep us fine until me and my mom get paid #i need to find more sources of income #capitalism is hell

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lothloriien · 11 months

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there’s something very lonely about being the planner friend on your birthday

#like don’t get me wrong i love being the planner friend #i’m the one that picks restaurants and activities and navigates public transit or if it’s somewhere we’re driving to im the driver #i’m the one that pays for everything #unless we split the bill #but if one person picks it up it’s almost always me #i’m the one who arranges hang outs and asks everyone if they wanna do smth #i’m the one that hosts everything #and generally i enjoy this #but my 18th birthday is in a week and i’m planning dinner and i wish one of my friends would plan instead #and i know none of them are gonna pay for my food or gas or anything #like i love them but i’m going broke 💀#but i cant ask someone to cover it for me that feels so weird #it just sucks #especially bc when you plan everything there’s always the worry that it’s selfish and they’re not enjoying themselves #i’m aware this is unreasonable but sometimes it feels like they don’t care enough to plan anything #i know it’s not true i know this is just our dynamic and overall i love being the planner #but i guess i was sorta hoping they’d plan smth for my birthday #whatever #as long as they’re there and happy i’ll enjoy it

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the-trans-dragon · 1 year

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I am feeling a little disappointed in myself, because my autism isn’t compatible with Going Shopping, and thus I’m always suffering from needing to buy things (food, clothes, bedding, medicine)

But the other day I went to a new doctor, and it DIDN’T overwhelm me. Why? The lights were dimmed everywhere except a warm-colored light over the receptionist’s area. The only sound was an almost-muted TV. There were a lot of people in the waiting room but there was enough space to let everyone sit 6+ feet from each other.

All the walls and furniture were darker colors, and soft sunlight filtered in through the windows, and it was quiet and calm.

I take a lot of comfort knowing that the world can be easier to navigate when accommodations are made.

#I didn’t even have someone with me to help me feel safe like I usually do #and it was a new doctor entirely so everything was new #but it felt entirely okay????? not overwhelming????? I am envious that people without sensory issues aren’t disabled by lights and sounds #i wish I could be a Autism Accomodation Advisor and places would pay me to come and tell them ways to make their place more accessible #it would be so easy to just. use warmer lights and lower the background noise.#instead I’m a fuckin cashier 🙄 it’s so annoying to be treated like unskilled labor when I have a very diverse and extensive skillset #I’m so glad they decided to raise the starting pay of the cashiers because they deserve financial compensation for being treated badly #I just wish I could influence my world and make it better. I can’t even make my OWN store more accessible. the managers can’t fathom #that I’m capable of a lot of stuff and that I could really improve things #I’m not even being like. dramatic. we had another employee like that and the store has literally suffered daily since they fired him for #wanting some time off >:/ i am powerless under capitalism #I just want the world to stop actively becoming incompatible with me lol.#sorenhoots

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which-is-the-very-best · 1 year

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Just realized I'm pretty sure (I'm bad at math) I can fit Johto in an actual 64 count bracket!! Idk why but this made me irrationally giddy lol

#not a poll #i still have 2.5 weeks until the polls go up #idk why I'm getting so in to working on them this soon lol #wish i could find someone who would pay me to do something like this #i love this kind of thing lol

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doggirltaurgirlsheath · 1 year

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i hate having extremely specific niche kinks that have like. very few people id ever confront about getting drawn. not in like an immoral way in a "i have to be REAL comfy with this person and not be so embarrassed sexually and also know if its something theyd even be willing to draw in the first place" kinda deal.

#for anyone curious its the display case thing ive talked about a few times on here #i have one friend whos said shes down to draw it but she like. doesnt do comms and i dont wanna take away from what shes drawin #and i have plenty of other artist friends but idk if drawing some dicks in boxes is something theyd wanna draw in the first place #im just bitching abt it at this point please dont take this as me begging for someone to answer my penis prayers or anything #im not exactly liquid atm so i couldnt even pay you about it so dw #im just in a specific ass mood n wish i had the confidence to walk up to an artist and go #hello. you. would you be willing to draw this specific ass thing for me #im also just like SUPER picky on how dicks look in art and given thats all this piece would be i truly do not want to subject someone #to how particular i'd be abt it

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ablednt · 1 year

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NPD BPD combo will make you feel like a starving wild circus animal every time you remember other people exist