#I wish you were real you would've loved ao3

[bespectacledbun]

I often think about how it's been shown over and over again that chev reads romance not for some bullshit reason of understanding humans (as he claims) but because he likes them. I think about how he very clearly self inserts with these books too, like in that one event where he kept imagining himself and Emma as the main characters of the romance novels he was reading. like. that shit is so funny and sweet and endearing to me. this man would soooooo be into reader insert fan fiction if he was real like he would absolutely bitch about people writing the characters OOC or making them do dumb shit in a fanfic. chevalier "he would not fucking say that" michel is real to me idk

[patrophthia]

love is sour grapes | theo. nott

pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff!reader

genre: fluff, angst (if you squint), unrequited love but not really, everyone is an idiot, self indulgent, not beta read.

word count: 5.9K

originally posted on ao3 on: 06/28/2022

"Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Or Theodore is a quiet piece of shit and that leads to miscommunication and complicated feelings

Theodore Nott. The one constant thought that has been running through my head way too often for my liking. He was handsome, quiet, smart, lanky in all the right ways and never seemed to be engaged in a conversation —or at least one where he was talking instead of just listening and listening and listening.

Talking to him had always been one of my goals, it shouldn't have, really, it shouldn't. But somehow I had found myself more than just infatuated with him. 

Theodore was an observant person, if he noticed me studying him, he never confronted me about it. 

But, as my friend says it, Theodore Nott is sour grapes. Or, in better words, love is sour grapes. If this even was love that is. 

"I think you should just talk to him," Hermione says kindly. "I still don't think that he would be good for you but if you fancy him that much then go ahead." 

"If you want a death wish that is," Ron snickered. "Honestly, can't you have picked a better guy to fancy? I mean— Nott? Of all people."

"Do you want me to fancy Malfoy instead? Would that make you happy," I quipped, hearing Hermione hide a laugh between closed lips. "Or god forbid, you." 

Ron face contorted to one of offense. "I'm notthatbad." 

"Yeah sure," I murmured, with no malice. And turned to Harry who had been quiet about the situation ever since he found out. "What do you think?" 

Harry shrugged, looking startled. "I don't know," He said first, and then. "I think you need someone better than Nott. You're friendly and thoughtful—" he paused hesitantly. "—and you're quite awfully pretty." 

"Thank you, Harry." My eyes fell downwards with no real intention. I was none of those things. "But I don't think he'd agree." 

"What does it matter if he agrees," Hermione said loudly. "Harry's right. You're all of those things. It's his loss if he doesn't go out with you. You're fit, incredibly so. I would be happy if someone like you were to ever fancy me."

If Ron had a reaction to those words, neither Hermione nor Harry noticed. 

"Well," I said as a group of Slytherin walked into the Potions classroom. Potions would be starting any minute now, and I needed to head into class before Snape does. "I'll keep that in mind. If all fails, I'll just have to marry you, Mione." 

With a final smile, I bid them a quick goodbye and made my way into class. The three of them heading to which ever direction they needed to be. 

The class quickly starts, and Snape wasted no time in assigning me a potion to make. Invigoration Draught. The potion that energizes the drinker. How fun.

The ingredients were mostly easy to obtain. Peppermint, Honeywater, Stewed Mandrake then there's Dried billywig sting: my biggest nightmare.

I was only so tall and the shelves where the ingredients were stored stood so so high. I would've used a stool had it been free to use, but a Slytherin had already been occupying it and it would be rude if I were to take it away from them.

There was a cough behind my back, and then, a hand reached; over me and towards the exact thing I needed. Dried billywig sting: my new biggest enemy.

The person pulled back —jar filled with billywig in hand, and stood still as I turned to them. The jar had a decent amount of billywig in it, if they needed it I could still manage to ask for just enough for my potion. That is if they were kind enough to let me have some.

"Could I—" I paused mid-turn. There stood Theodore Nott in all his glory. Dark eyes, dark hair and facial features that looked like every part of him was chosen by Aphrodite herself, watching me with a raised eyebrow. "—uhm, could I have a few of those? I needed it for my potion but I couldn't reach it."

Theodore blinked once, looking unfazed and handed the jar over.

I blinked twice the time he did, opening up the jar; intending on taking out a few and handing it back over when he stopped me.

"I don't need it."

His voice.

"You don't?" I find myself asking, trying not to breathe too loud or to forget how to even breathe in the first place.

Theodore shook his head once. And reached up for something else. Had he seen me struggle and had gotten it just for me?

"Thank you," I tell him. Theodore nodded once, accepting it as it is. I think you should just talk to him. Goddamn it, Granger. "Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Whether he was scrutinizing me or not, I didn't know. What I do know is that I was wrong and stupid. And my friends were wrong too.

He needed more than me. I might be friendly and kind and maybe quite awfully pretty. But Theodore needed more than me.

"You know what." I cleared my throat, smiling. "Forget I said anything. Have a good day, Nott."

•••

I had been down lately. My friends noticed that. Even Harry and Ron noticed it and they were as daft as they come. Whenever they asked me what was wrong I find myself telling them that I was just stressed over my O.W.Ls.

Which I was. But it was mostly a lie to cover up something I was more upset about. I had idiotically asked Theodore out and now I have to face the consequences of being rejected.

I think —in some ways— him having not even say 'no' or have given a clearer answer was more upsetting then if he had just said no out loud.

It was stupid of me to get my hopes up and think that anything else would've happened. It was stupid for me to even think I was in his league.

It was also late. I hated walking back to the common rooms in these hours but it was my fault for procrastinating my essay until the night before it was due so I had to rush the entire thing in an hour in the library. I had only hoped that Umbridge wouldn't punish me for being out pass curfew.

I had one more hall left to turn before I reached the Hufflepuff's barrels when someone shouted out my surname, halting me in my place.

Fast pace footsteps approached and then, donning from head to toe in pink was Umbridge. Fuck.

"What do you think you're doing out of your dorm at this time?" She asked quickly, her toad like face twitching with irritation.

"I was in the library and lost track off time," I quickly confessed. "I'm so sorry. My dorm's close by and I—"

"It was my fault professor." His voice. "I’d asked for her help and lost track of time. She was trying to head back before curfew but it seems like her efforts were to no avail. I can only hope you would excuse her and blame me for my faults."

Umbridge looked baffled. He talked? Theodore talked? She made that annoying noise that she can't seemed to get rid off. "Well." her voice laced with false kindness.

"I see no point in deducting any points." She then turned to me. "But I will be expecting to see you tomorrow for separating yourself from help at a time as late as this. Merlin knows, it's dangerous for a girl to wander alone at this time."

"Just me?" I asked, slightly confused.

Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Do you expect Mister Nott here to be punished for wanting to make sure you got back to your dorm safe?"

That wasn’t what he— okay. Fine. Whatever.

"Now, go off," she said with a wave of her hand. "And Theodore, would you be so kind as to walk her back? I don't want to know the troubles she might cause when I let her out my sight."

Theodore nodded, doing as he was told and took a step forward. He looked behind his shoulders, his eyes meeting mine and tilted his head slightly: signaling that we should leave now before it gets worse.

I avoided Umbridge's eyes and stepped forward, trailing after Theodore. Detention. All because I was too lazy to finish my essay any other time I had.

I think I feel my eyes water. I think it feels harder to breathe. I don't know for sure how I feel exactly despite dejected and disappointed with myself.

If I had just made one different choice, I wouldn't have to have detention with the one professor known to physically harm the students. And to top it off, being walked back to my common room by the boy who recently rejected me whilst bottling up my feelings about everything I did wrong.

"You don't have to actually walk me back." I paid no heed to the crack of my voice. Theodore does though. "It's late." I pointed out the obvious. "You should go."

Theodore glanced at me quickly. His look was so quick that I suspected he had planned to only spare me a second of his time. But something about me, something about how vulnerable I must've looked, had him pausing.

"I shouldn't." He said slowly, his tone so attentively that it made me think that he had saw something in me that I never did. "I can't leave you."

"You can." I don't think I can handle being near him any longer, not when he was studying me so cautiously. "It's only a few steps away, I can assure you I'll be fine."

Theodore eyes flickered down the corridor quickly, finally tearing themselves away from me and looked forward, continuing towards the direction of my common room.

When we finally reached where we needed to be. Theodore stood back watching as I tapped the barrels carefully.

I looked over my shoulder once the path opens up. Smiling slightly when I found his eyes on me. "Thank you for taking the blame, Theo. You didn't have to and you did and spared me way too many house points. I really appreciate it."

He made a noise of acknowledgment, taking my word as it is. And then, as he was about to step away. "Goodnight."

•••

I think I hate life. I might be wrong but life sucks. Especially when you have to repeatedly write the same sentence over and over again with a magic quill that tears through your skin.

That can't have been a legal source of punishment but Umbridge made the rules so it was no use fighting her about it.

My hand hurts. Holy fuck, does it hurt. I don't even have to glance down at it for me to see my skin burning red, bleeding slightly. Curved out in the sentence. I will not be out pass curfew. 

"You alright there?" Came a voice. 

I looked up quick and abruptly, sure that I'll get whiplash from my actions; to find George Weasley watching me with interest. I smiled, subconsciously hiding away my hand. "I'm fine." 

"You sure?" He followed up. "You don't look too good."

I nodded, trying to look as reassuring as possible. "I'm fine, just got a paper cut is all." 

He fixes me a look of disbelief but let it slides. "You should go," he said with a small smile. "I think Ron's looking for you? Something about slimey snakes and what not." 

"Oh." The sound slipped out. "Thank you, I'll go find him." 

It was weird to see George without Fred but I decided that I didn't want to know why. They were probably setting up a prank and I had walked right through it. 

Bidding George a goodbye. I continued down the corridor, turned the corridor and found the trio standing by with Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott by their sides. This can't be good. 

Is this what George referred to when he said Ron was looking me about some slimey snakes? 

"There she is," Malfoy said with mild annoyance. "We've been looking for you." 

"You have?" My eyes drifted to Hermione but she only shrugged, looking as clueless as I was. "Why?" 

Malfoy took a steps towards me. "You've been with Professor Umbridge?" 

"Yes." I nodded. "Why?" 

"Did she give you the quill?" 

What was he playing at? Why was he interrogating me? "Yes." I repeated. "Why?" 

Zabini rolled his eyes and step up, seemingly having enough of Malfoy's dramatics. "Here." He handed out a bottle. "It's Murtlap essence. Suppose to help you with the cuts. Nott made it for you." 

"He did?" I asked, taking the bottle of Murtlap essence from Zabini's hand. I turned to look at Theodore, finding his eyes glued to my bleeding hand that was grasping the bottle. Jerking my hand back, I smiled, thanking him. "Thank you for this, I really appreciate and for uhm— thanks again for covering for me last night." 

Everyone —all but Theodore and I— brows raised upwards, surprised. So they didn't know about what had happened last night.

Theodore showed no outwards reaction, having just watch me with a straight face and patient eyes. Then he turned to Zabini and tilted his head slightly. Zabini seemingly understood, slapped a hand over Malfoy's shoulder and with a goodbye, steered the blond boy away. 

"Bloody hell," Ron said exasperatedly. "Did that really happen?" 

"Nott made you Murtlap essence?" Hermione asked more to herself than anyone else. "How did he even know you needed it?" 

"I—" I stopped, glancing at my hand. "—I was out pass curfew and Umbridge caught me. Nott took the blame for it. I think Umbridge was too surprised with hearing him talk to properly acknowledge that he too was out of the dorms pass curfew. She said she won't take away any house points but gave me detention as a punishment." 

"That's all?" Hermione said. "Why would Nott take the fall for it and then proceed to make Murtlap essence for you if there wasn't anything in it for him?" 

"I don't know," I told her, shrugging. "He also walked me back to my common room and wouldn't leave me when I insisted otherwise." 

"Do you think." Ron started. "Maybe that Nott fancies you?" 

"No." I was quick to shake my head in disagreement. "He's doesn't. He's made that clear already." 

"He has?" Harry asked loudly, brows knitted together. 

"Yeah," I murmured. "That day I talked to the three of you. I asked him during class if maybe we could go out on a date sometimes and he didn't say anything. Not a yes. Not a no. Nothing." 

"That's terrible," said Hermione sympathetically. "Honestly, what kind of person rejects someone then proceed to do things as if they cared for them." 

"Hermione," said Harry cautiously, eyes shifting between me and her. "I don't think that does anything to soothe her nerves." 

"Sorry." Hermione blinked in realization. "It's just— you deserve better. I don't understand a thing Nott's doing and I don't want you to get hurt in the process." 

"He could be figuring out his feelings," Ron suggested making Hermione shoot a sharp glare his direction. Ron tsked. "I'm just pointing it out." 

"Well it's not helping." Hermione said in an obvious tone. Her eyes drifted down to my hand, scanning the words then looked back up. "I think you should head back and take care of your hand. You don't want it to scar now, do you?" 

I nodded, waving. "I'll see you at dinner?"

Hermione let out an agreeing hum and went on her way, Ron pestering her from behind. Harry hadn't moved though, looking at me with furrowed brows. "Could I maybe have some of your Murtlap essence?"

"Yeah." I handed it over. "I didn't know you had to endure Umbridge as well."

"Didn't think it was important to mention." He pulled out an empty ink pot from his bag and twisted it open, pouring just enough essence to not overflow it. Harry put the cap back on and handed it back over. "Don't tell Hermione or Ron, will you? I don't want to be a bother." 

" 'course." I smiled. "I won't tell anyone." 

•••

What are the chances that I get caught being out pass curfew twice in the same week. Pretty fucking high because I was once again being called out late at night. 

Two sets of foot steps stops before me and it took me roughly five seconds to realize just how grave the situation was. Draco Malfoy stood tall and smug with Hannah Abott by his side looking tired —if a little irritated by Malfoy's presence. 

"What are you doing out, badger?" Malfoy asked. 

"I was heading back from the kitchens." Malfoy made a face and glanced down at my outfit that looked way too overdressed to be heading down to the kitchens. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes." It was clear that I was caught in a lie. Goddamn you, Radiohead concert. "I must've lost track of time." 

Hannah looked like she wanted to say something but bit her tongue. Not wanting any of her words to be counted as it being biased just because I was her dorm mate. 

And then, as I waited to hear Malfoy state just how many points he wanted to take away from my house. He said with annoyance, "you can go." Unfazed to the look of surprise that showed up on both mine and Hannah's faces. "Tell Nott he owes me one." 

•••

I don't think my head could —or will ever fully comprehend "tell Nott he owes me one." I don't know why exactly but that sentence feels way more ominous than it ought to be. 

ott does not owe him anything for letting me go. 

And I don't think I owe Nott anything for helping me be let go? maybe I could've phrased that better. What I meant to say is that: I owe Nott nothing for his friend's behavior towards me. At least I don't think I do. 

But things works in mysterious way. Like how —despite how ironic I find it— Nott always find out a way to help me out during potions. Especially when it came to the ingredients. 

Though that was the least of my concerns right now. My concern, for now, is revolved between the three books in my hand that I can't decide —for the life of me— which one to buy. 

On other occasions I would buy all three and went about my day but I had only brought enough money for one book and food for the rest of the day at Hogsmeade, and my friend didn't seem like they'd be heading back to Hogwarts for extra cash any time soon. 

I looked over my options once more, trying to figure out which one would be the bang of my buck. 

Option one: All Or Nothing, a novel about a girl trying to navigate relationships with the people she surrounded herself with and see whether they would react differently when she gave them her all, and then; how they would react when she gave them nothing. 863 pages. 

Option two: Glimpse Of Us, a novel about a boy who always —and I mean always, sees his ex in the girls he dates after her. 295 pages. 

Option three: Listen boy, a cheesy novel about a girl who had little to no interest when it comes to going on dates with guys but when her roommate compliments her on the socks she wore, she finds herself wanting to do nothing but go on dates with them. 530 pages. 

Both Glimpse Of Us and All Or Nothing seems like sad book. Maybe it's time for me to find some joy in my life —which seems to seize to exist after whatever happened between me Nott happened. As I turned, intending to put those two books back in their respective places. I was more than surprise to find Nott looking at me with a slight fascinated tilt to his head.

“Which is it?”

"Hmm?" I find myself humming. Should I pick All Or Nothing instead? Wouldn't that make me seem more intelligent than a book about a girl being in love with her roommate. 

"Which one have you chose?" He clarified, and I might've imagined it —no I definitely did because, Theodore Nott's lips did not just curve up at all. 

"This one." I lifted up whatever was in my right hand which just happens to be Listen boy. And there goes sounding more intelligent in front of Theodore. "It seems cute." 

"Is that all?" He followed up and it's then that I realize he was wearing a forest green that had no reasons to make him look as good as it did. Green really was his colour. "Nothing more?"

"No." I shook my head. "Ideally I would like two get these two as well," I told him truthfully. "But I only brought enough for one —technically two, if I stretched it out but that would mean no snacks for the rest of the day so it's a no." 

"I'll get it for you then," he says casually. Like it's something you say to someone you recently rejected. Like he was walking around, waiting for someone to tell him that they haven't brought enough cash for the other books they wanted. "Would you like anything else? I am more than willing to indulge you." 

"No, I don't." I stop myself. Yes, I mean. Because I really did want other books, especially if someone else was paying for it but I know that my poor heart cannot handle it. 

It is already breaking apart at how handsome he looked with his forest green jumper and black ironed pants. His hair, a usual dark brown, just the slightest tinge brighter under the sunlight (which is both a sight for sore eye and a rare view since I only ever see him in the dungeons, hunched over a bubbling pot and disgusting lightings) which flatters him in all the best way possible. 

And no, my heart is not picking up a million paces over I am more than willing to indulge you in that very tone of voice, in that very set of clothes, in very set of lighting, by that very Slytherin that I could not seem to get over.

"You don't have to," I insisted, trying to not shiver under his gaze. He narrows his eyes and it says way more than words could ever say. He knows he doesn't, he wants to. Oh lord save me. "Maybe this one? It's cheaper." 

"That was not my question," he said curtly. "I asked you if you'd like anything else, not which option was cheaper."

What are we even talking about now? Was he planning on buying me the three books in my hands and more or was he planning on letting me pay for my choice then pay for the others I couldn't afford. 

Is my face that much of an open book? Because, without even having to say it. Theodore had already answered my questions for me. "I'll buy you the three in your hands and anymore you'd like. I'd buy you the whole store if you wanted me to." 

I think I'm having a heart attack. Or dreaming. Or both. I can't tell. Maybe I'm dreaming while having a heart attack? Who knows. All I know is that Theodore Nott did not just say that. Did he? 

"No." I shake my head quickly, maybe even too quickly. "No, I— these three are more than enough. I promise to pay you back when we get back to school."

Theodore fixes me a look. One ridiculing me to the point that I wished —more than anything— that I was a bludger being hit so hard I pass through the most oblivious of oblivions. I'm so sure that that would be less stressful. 

"I mean it!" I press all three books to my side. "I promise, and I always keep my promise. I won't take advantage of your money, I will get it and find you as soon as I—"

I didn't see the point in finishing my words because he was smiling. And laughing. I think. It's a mixture of those two and it's so heavenly that I believe in everything ethereal alike. 

Theodore noticed my silence, the side of his lips curved the slightest bit (so so small and tiny that you couldn't even spot it), looking at me with clearly amused eyes. And then, "did you not hear me?" 

"What?" The words slipped out easily. 

"I told you I'd buy you the whole store if you'd like and you think I'd want my money back?" He said slowly. "I couldn't care less about the money. I just wanted to make you happy. Salazar knows, I've made you upset more often than I could count between my fingers." 

Now what the fuck was he on about. He has never made me upset —save for rejecting me that one time,  but I understood it, he didn't like me, that's that. I have gotten over. I think. But I'm more than sure that I could count that one event between his ten fingers.

Unless Theodore only had one finger? Does he? I cast a glance down to his hands and there are those ten fingers. Ten exactly. Not one short or one more. Ten and a couple of silver bands that made me want to do nothing but sit and stare at his long, pale, slim fingers. And how they would feel around my— nope, nope. Absolute not. 

"Merlin, we leave Nott alone and he goes around trying to find his girlfriend." Girlfriend? 

When the owner of the voice, Zabini, finally arrives before me and Theodore, I was no where near surprised to see the other Slytherins in their group by his side. 

Parkinson. Malfoy. And finally, Greengrass —whom I was actually friends with. 

"Well?" Zabini muttered, eyes shifting between me and Theodore, and then landing on him solely. "Are the pair of you planning on standing here the whole day?" 

"No," I said with narrowed eyes. "I don't know what he's doing here, I'm just trying to buy a book." 

Zabini raised a brow. "Is that all, princess?" 

"Pretty much." This feels like a trap. Is this a trap? "Are you planning on going somewhere with Theo?" 

"Theo," Zabini tsked with a smirk. "I've never once called him that and I've known him for about five year now. How cute is that." 

Yep. This is definitely a trap. I think I'm going to die now. 

Theodore, with a roll of his eyes, made his way to my side and pried at the books pressed to my waist. Confused, and a little daze at the warmth of his fingers grazing my hip, I let go of the three books and watched him with wide eyes. 

He seemed (and looked) unaffected by how everyone eyes were now on him. Walking around and picking another set of the exact books I'd picked out. Theodore paid for them without a word, asking for separate bags and handed a set over to me. 

And then, quietly he says. "Zabini's an idiot." He smiled a winsome one and I am so sure I'm dying and this —whatever this was— is just a figment of my imagination that my brain curated during my dying breath. "I like it. Don't ever stop calling me Theo." 

•••

Blaise Zabini is trying to be matchmaker. I'm sure of it. Or else he wouldn't be bothering me as much as he did now. I can't seem to peacefully spend time in the library without being interrupted by him. 

"Hello," he greeted, smiling as he sat opposing me. I raised an eyebrow and he was able to read me quick enough, telling me the reason he was here. "Just wanted to let you know that Nott finished those three novels he bought and he's looking for someone to talk it over with a cup of tea —or coffee, whichever one you prefer." 

Is he implying what I think he's implying? "Why is that any of my concerns." 

"I thought you might be interested." He shrugged. "Since you know, you fancy Nott and all." 

"I don't fancy Nott." I told him. An obvious lie, and Zabini knew that too. "And he doesn't fancy me so it's just a waste of time." 

"Nott doesn't fancy you?" He's laughing. He's actually laughing. What was so funny about the truth? "What makes you think that?" 

"He literally turns me down I when I asked him out," I said blankly. "It's pretty clear, isn't it?" 

"And what exactly did he say?" Zabini asked playfully, as if he was humoring me. 

"Nothing," I answered. "He just looked at me and said nothing, I don't think I need anything else to tell me that it's an obvious no." 

"Nothing?" Zabini repeated with a grin. "Have you heard of being speechless? Or better yet, you know Nott doesn't really speak right?" 

"That doesn't excuse him saying nothing when I asked him to go on a date," I countered.

"It doesn't," Zabini concurred. "But Nott's an idiot." Funny, Theodore said the exact same thing about Blaise. "Did you know Nott did Malfoy's work for a week without complain just because he let you go that one time you snuck out?" 

No. I don't say. Malfoy did say Nott owe him one but I hadn't thought it important. "What does that have anything to do with what you were talking about?" 

"Because," he says exaggeratedly. "Nott fancies you back. I suspected that he liked you since third year though he won't admit it. He won't even admit that he fancies you now but he's incredibly easy to read." 

I shut my book and looked at him. Really looked at him. Trying to gauge whether he was messing with me or telling the truth. "What am I supposed to do with this information?" 

"Ask him out again," he suggested lightly. "Give him another chance for being the biggest twat there is."

"And have him reject me again?"

"He won't," Zabini says calmly. "He'd burn the entire school down before even thinking of rejecting you." 

I hesitate. "I don't want to embarrass myself again."

"You won't," he says with a roll his eyes. "Look I know being rejected is hard, I think I get it. I've never been rejected before. But I also know that the both of you like each other just as much and it's getting tiring seeing you beat around the bush." 

"Nott won't make the first move. He thinks you hate him now for not answering when you ask so you'd have to ask again —if you still want to be with him that is. Do you? Or else I've been doing all this for nothing." 

Yes. I think. I'm pretty sure that I want to be with him. "Do you know where he is?" 

"Oh," Zabini said delightedly. "He's actually coming here right now. I told him I was coming to find you but never gave him a reason why. He'd be here any —speaking of the devil. Hello, Theo."

Theodore doesn't bother to return his greeting. Eyes heavily set on Zabini in a glare that had me shivering just from the side lines. Then his eyes turn to me and his glare on hardens. 

"Hi, Theo." I don't think I've ever since Theodore like this before. "What are you doing here?" 

"What did he do?" He asked instead. 

"Nothing," I said quickly. "He did nothing. We just talked." 

"About?" 

"Stuff."

"Stuff?" 

"Yes. Stuff." 

"What kind of stuff?" 

"Oh you know," I huffed. "The weather. Coffee. You." 

"Me?" 

"Yes." My lips fold itself into a thin line. "Actually Theo. Could I ask you something?" 

His gaze softens when he nods.I am more than willing to indulge you.I am so sure now, more than ever, that love really is sour grapes. 

"Uhm— would you like to—"

His eyes widened, large as saucers as he processed in my words.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?" 

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing. And I am briefly reminded of everything that happened. 

And then, "yes," he says. "Yes, I would." 

•••

Theodore really did read those books he bought me. This I knew now as I sat under the sun on one of Hogsmeade many benches with Theo to my left. 

This part of Hogsmeade was quiet, it wasn't too far from the shops but far enough for no one to frequent by. A few people passed by trying to move from destination to destination but none noticed the bench wedge into the middle of the place where two fifth years were sat, talking about everything and anything under the moon and stars. 

"So you liked it? You liked 'Listen, boy'?"

"I did." He was smiling and I wished more than anything that I'd had a camera to capture every smile he had given me during the pass hours. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," I laugh and his smile widens. "It just doesn't seem like you. It's a cheesy and corny book and you're always so dark and broody about everything." 

"I'm not dark and broody about everything," he denied. 

"You are!" I countered. "You were even dark and broody when I'd first asked you out."

"That's 'cause I didn't know what to say," he says truthfully. "You could've said yes, that would've made it easy for the both of us," I told him. "I really couldn't. You don't deserve just a yes. You deserved everything, not something so simple." 

"But that yes would've made my week, Theo." 

Theo looked like he was about to say something before he changed his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't say yes when you'd first asked me. Could you ever forgive me?" 

I want to kiss him until his lips, his skin, his hands, his scent, every tiny bit of him is imprinted in my mind. "Yes." I say. "Yes, I think I could." 

Theodore chuckled, his nose crinkling at the motion and something between that laugh and smile of his causes me to lose it. 

My hand reached forward first, palm pressing against his cheek, pulling him closer to me and pressed my lips onto his. I kissed him once then as I reached to pull away; I find that both of his hands had found their way to my cheeks, holding me still as he kissed me back. 

Theodore pulled back, the tiniest of smile on his lips that had the smallest smudge of my lipstick attached to it. And he tells me, as if he had been thinking of this for days, years, lifetimes. "You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen." 

And when I smiled, Theo leans back in. Peppering quick kisses on my lips, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, anywhere I would let him kiss me; he will cherish it. 

Once Theo finally pulls back —and this was for real this time, no more quick kisses. He looks at me and I know deep down that he will be the death of me when he says. "You are going to be the death of me."

— from bee: the thing about theo is that we know nothing about him so you can’t say that this is ooc :>

[altraviolet]

Hello! I'm not sure if its okay to send asks rn. I'm sorry if they aren't open. I was curious about something small and was hoping to ask you. (If it isnt, pls feel free to ignore me and im sorry again).

I was re-reading some chapters of The Echo Garden and Rodimus mentioned learning Soundwave's Cybertronian so they can have a secret language. (So cute!) I was wondering if they were going to do that? And also, are there any details you could share about the differences between 001 dimension cybertronian and Soundwave's Cybertronian? Also also, the explanations you have for 2938 Cybertronian are very fun to read about.

Hi! It's totally ok to send asks :) I open anon asks every once in a while for people who are nervous about asking not-anon. But asks are always open to people who are signed in.

>if they were going to do that?

Oh yeah... they should, shouldn't they? ;) Good reminder.

>any details you could share about the differences between 001 dimension cybertronian and Soundwave's Cybertronian?

I don't have any really hard and fast rules in mind. Sometimes with worldbuilding you can get away with making general statements without having details sorted out, and that's the case here. If I think about it for a lil bit I can give you this:

-I imagine the LL's NeoCybex has more influence from human language than Soundwave's, due to those mechs being wayyyy more open to conversing with organics, as well as the influence of Movie Night and the movies that they get from Thundercrackers as they travel

-in terms of grammar and structure, I think of the two methods of speech as truly being accents. they can absolutely understand each other. the biggest difference is found in writing. An Earth example would be something like: Urdu and Hindi are mutually understandable via speech, but they each use a different alphabet. 0001 and 3244 have different slang, and the body-based aspects of their language use (field pulses and biolight signaling) are quite different.

I didn't have the time or points of view to get into it in TEG, but every time an alt dimensioner boards the LL, at least a tiny bit of their culture gets absorbed. You've seen it via the 2938 "glittering polymorphy" in Ch 45. I honestly don't have Ambulon or Trailbreaker's influences fleshed out. Those would be interesting to think about and either touch on in this fic, or perhaps in a sequel or related story. This is inspired by the phenomenon that happens in the real world- cultures meeting and swapping ideas/fashion/food/language/etc.

>the explanations you have for 2938 Cybertronian are very fun to read about.

Thank you! After the fic is done, I'mma have an Afterword with a FAQ, and I'll explain the inspiration for that (it's the same as the 'meaning of Soundwave' thing).

This does give me a chance to do something I've been thinking about for a few months: visually representing the way they speak in an economical manner. I wish there was a way to represent in text how the 2938 mechs spoke, while keeping the text accessible to screen readers. If I knew a way to do it, I would've done it throughout the fic in a way that looks something like this:

That would probably be exhausting and annoying to read, but 2938 Megatron is exhausting to comprehend. I didn't play around much with opacity in the examples here, but if there was an accessible way to do this, I'd love to do it with color and shape and tilt and opacity. Make it as otherworldly as possible.

The only way I know to do this on AO3 would be through images, but they would really stick out against whatever default formatting any particular reader might have. (there's mouse overs as well, but eh, doesn't give the spatial property)

If the fic were being read aloud, you could whisper those words around their 'root' words. But, here we deal in pixels ;)

Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed that little trip into my brain! I love languages and culture and all the good things. Thanks for the ask! :)

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Active Authors Masterlist (2)

Part 1 /

***Active (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer who has updated within the past year. Inactive (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer that has not been updated at all in the past year+. On THG Writing Hiatus (on this blog) is a blog/writer who has updated within the past year but has not posted a fanfic in the fandom in the past year BUT they may return to writing in the future. Lists will be updated as needed based on activity. ***

Created: November 17th, 2023

Last Checked:----

DistrictZero (MythicallySnappy) :: ao3

Popular Fic: Magnum Opus: “Sometimes,” I say with a fortifying breath, “I wish you’d let me show you— what it feels like to be loved.”

endlessnightlock :: ao3, tumblr

Popular Fic: A New Path: The day after aging out of the Reaping, Katniss crosses paths with Peeta. She thanks him for the bread and to her surprise, a tentative friendship begins (@endlessnightlock)

eroticeverlark :: fic link, tumblr

Popular Fic: I Think I'm Ready: From the Inexperienced smut prompts, how about #9 “I think I’m ready (for this/to have sex/…).”

everlarking_always :: ao3, tumblr

Popular Fic: 24 Hours: Katniss and Peeta meet at a bar and it changes both of their lives. A fluffy Everlark oneshot ft. Finnick and Johanna.

fkatwirls :: ao3

Popular Fic: Ivy: katniss everdeen is a townie, peeta mellark is from the seam. this would have happened anyway.

geekymoviemom :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr

Popular Fic: By Your Side: After the 74th Games Katniss lets Peeta walk away, thinking it was all an act. But what if she hadn't? This is an AU Catching Fire story where Katniss allows herself to love Peeta from the start. This will follow book two with a few major twists.

HalfHope/thesweetnessofspring :: ao3 (HalfHope), ao3 (main), tumblr

Popular Fic:I Do: "What I think would've happened if the Quarter Quell hadn't occurred. Katniss and Peeta are married, but how much of it is an act? Will they be puppets to the Capitol, or will they find a way to break free?" (@thesweetnessofspring)

Hey_You :: ao3, tumblr

Popular Fic: The Missing Book-The Early Years: Katniss and Peeta grow back together after Peeta's return to District 12. After Katniss realizes her true feelings for Peeta, she is faced with the very real possibility that he no longer cares for her in the way she had hoped. Post "Mockingjay" but pre-Epilogue. Canon compliant. *I always felt that there should have been a fourth book in the series, and kind of felt as if the ending of "Mockingjay" was rushed. ;-)

HuntersWithCellPhones :: ao3

Popular Fic: I Would Die for You in Secret: Takes place in the scene of Catching fire where Peeta Hits the force field and goes unconscious, but in Finnick's POV. Is the scene where he realizes Katniss and Peeta aren't just an act.

icbiwf :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr

Popular Fic: Not All Of It: “Not all of it,” she said. “Then how much?” he asked. What if she tried to explain? What if he gave her the chance to? What if Katniss was able to sort out her feelings at the end of The Hunger Games? How would events have unfolded if the Star-Crossed Lovers were real? Begins with the train scene at the end of HG, AU for CF and MJ. (@icbiwf)

[hopetorun]

☕️ older hrpf pairings you would enjoy having a renaissance, especially ones that never got enough fic in the first place

oooooh well i'm sad we never got a true sean/johnny renaissance out The Hug. they were so in love once [wipes away a single tear]. i also really wish we'd gotten a real claude/danny renaissance. i do deserve some messy fanfictions about getting a new job and having to trade your ex. i would commit at least some minor crimes for grown up maybe post retirement jordan/taylor. in my heart they are still in love.

i started going through the hrpf tag on ao3 to see what i might be forgetting and i did not know there are more than 100 vince dunn/adam larsson fics? what is going on over there in kraken fandom. it's a mystery to me. happy for y'all i just had no idea etc.

anyway those are the main ones i think. this time last year i probably would've said nate/jo but. well.

wait i looked again and there's only 62 zach/dylan fics? it always felt so much more notable because all my friends and loved ones (people of taste and discernment) were into it. i would love more of that, bummed dylan was too hurt for the worlds reunion.

[babischlong-six]

Shipper Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me darling @the-marron !! I haven't even really thought about some of these questions so this was super fun <3

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

Looking back, probably any of my favorite ships from Rurouni Kenshin (for obvious reasons). I distinctly remember being very obsessed with Aoshi/Misao and Saitou/Sanosuke

Other than that, my many favorite ships from teen-ager-times still have a place in my heart, and if I'm struggling for something to read, I'll still peek in on their ao3 pages :)

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Something from InuYasha probably. Sango/Miroku? Sango/Kagome? Sesshomaru/Rin? Or maybe something from Pirates of the Caribbean like Norrington/Elizabeth or Jack/Will. The thing about "shipping" is that I would absolutely love fictional relationships, but never really "fandomized" about them until I was a teenager, so I can't really say what my first real ship was, just because there were always movies and books I was reading and thinking "Wow! I wish I could see more of these two!" (Athos and D'Artagnan for instance, or Legolas and Gimli) but I was so young that romance didn't really exist for me, it was more about the dynamics

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple?

The first fanfic I ever wrote? No idea. I would be writing all sorts of horribly grammatically incorrect little scenarios in my first (very ancient) computer's notes program - and I can't even remember which of them I published on ff.net. But it was probably something InuYasha - probably just the canon pairings.

The first fanfic I ever read was SasuNaru: it was published on DeviantArt of all places, written like a filler beach episode and I remember thinking it sounded really nice to be eating watermelon on the beach together.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

Not even the foggiest idea.

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Maybe? I advocate for the "ship and let ship" lifestyle and I've had people getting annoyed with me for that, complaining that what I was shipping was not canon or disrespectful to the author (once in the discord FOR lovers of that ship, mind you!)

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

My rule is never say never. There are some pairings I've never seen well done, but if I do see something good, I'll be converted.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Fitzier 🫣

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

See, as a multi-shipper, it's hard for me to have an OTP at all. Like ever. If I like a character, I'm interested in their dynamic with lots of different characters. And even with crack pairs, if I see a beautiful fanart or a well-written fic, or even someone explaining the pair in a way that clicks for me, I'm down.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Not really. Canon is canon, fandom is fandom. There are a few that I've thought it would be nice if they got together onscreen/on the page but never got angry if they didn't.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Among many, I would say probably XueXiao. I was absolutely shocked that they got shipped at all - but then I re-read the novel and was like: "Oh. No, yeah, I get it now." Like, I'm not obsessed or anything, but I am compelled by it.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Everything I have ever shipped in the history of ever, you mean? I love a good age-gap, or an enemies-to-lovers, or some power dynamic play, or even some angsty incest stories, or vicious hatefucking, or dub-con, or---

...You get the idea.

12. What is your favorite crack ship?

Unfortunately, I can't answer the question due to at least half of my ships being crackships. They are from completely different media? Check. They are from the same media but have never once interacted? Check. They have excellent chemistry and a fantastic dynamic but are very unpopular in fandom for whatever reason? Check.

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

It comes in waves. Sometimes I'm in a sci-fi alien romance mood so I'll head over the Star Trek and B5 route (and read the same G'Kar/Londo fics or Kirk/Spock fics over and over again and cry myself to sleep.) Sometimes my friend writes something for a pairing I've completely forgotten about and I suddenly have to re-read everything they've ever written. Sometimes, I get into a piece of media and have to trawl ao3 for EVERYTHING (within certain parameters) of a certain pair that caught my eye.

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common?

Chemistry. Some kind of ability to constantly bounce off of one another - a constant give and take of meaning and expression.

Unless they can talk with/at each other for hours until they run out of breath and pass out, I'm not as interested. There needs to be banter, no matter if light-hearted or with deeper undertones. They just need to be able to talk to each other, even if most of the conversation is clever obfuscation of what they really mean.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?

Anything boring tbh. Oh, they're high-schoolers who are childhood friends and now they're holding hands and blushing? I don't care. Oh, they're planning a seaside wedding and nothing bad has ever happened, ever, and they love one another peacefully? YAWN. Oh, they're sitting down and having a talk about their feelings that sounds like it's come out of a the most recent therapy how-to booklet? Kill me immediately.

Give me adventure! Conflict! Chaos! Even just petty issues! PLEASE! I need these people to be doing something!

This has been very fun!

I'm tagging @elemental-queen-writes @polkadotcravat @bobafvcks @themurdochmemesteries AND anyone who wants to do this!

[prncewilhelm]

I saw on your twitter that you finished gåsmamman and i need to know your thoughts about the finale! i was so....that was it?? like i needed at least one more episode after it lol, i get that it's supposed to be kind of an ambiguous ending but i didn't feel satisfied u know

hi!!!

while i enjoyed the finale a lot, i definitely do not feel entirely satisfied with it as a complete ending for 6 seasons – like we didn't even get the chance to breathe with the final shot before the gåsmamman logo came up! given what happens to sonja and lukas, i get that it's supposed to be abrupt but i would've loved a little bit more afterwards to process it all. i would've loved to see the other characters process it, even just time spent longer on the reactions of their faces... it was like, boom (lol) this whole huge moment happens and then it goes to linus for 0.2 seconds and then THE END and i'm there triple checking the google drive like, is that it? just a little bit more would've been great – something to allow the audience to sit with it for a beat before being jerked away.

major spoilers under cut for the last few eps of gåsmamman so be warned! just want to talk about an aspect in greater detail.

i guess the one thing about the finale that continues to stump me is the decision to have zac trade linus in – i just find it hard to believe that he would've done that to nina, given how much she loves and cares for her younger brother and how he's looked after him for years, i don't feel like she would've ever forgiven him had she found that out? like, how did he think he would get away with that? i know that he was desperate and trying to protect their son and nina and the whole point of the show is people doing desperate insane things to protect their family – it just felt like a little bit of a character assassination, because zac surely had to have known that linus was always going to be in physical danger with that deal – he'd spent long enough in that world to know that "you promised not to hurt him" was empty. i guess you can argue that he was just blindsided by his need to protect his family, but it just makes me a little frustrated.

i know that sonja killing him was a way for them to show that she had ultimately turned into anders (eg: him killing his own daughter's husband, fredrik and therefore irredeemable), but i do wish the truth of the situation had come to light in that last moment w sonja and the kids when linus exposes it to nina, because i feel like sonja's reasoning is a lot more justified than anders' was – like, i would kill someone too if they'd handed linus willingly over to someone to get tortured. i don't think sonja would've ever been able to come back from killing zac – especially not in her family's eyes – but i also think zac never would've been able to come back from it either had he stayed alive.

all in all i loved the show. it was dramatic and heightened and ridiculous at times, but i found myself really caring about the characters – the performances were all pretty impressive too. and ultimately, i liked the outcome for sonja (and god i am so glad linus' beard and shitty back tattoo from her fantasy of the future was not real cause hell) i just wish the aftermath had been extended ever so –just so we got to properly say goodbye to the characters we've sat with for 6 seasons like, emil's reaction, barry's reaction etc etc. there's only 2 works on ao3 under gåsmamman so i can't even find someone else to satisfy it for me 💔💔

anyways sorry this is super ramble-y but, you asked for it! here to chat about the rest of it whenever!! hope you have a wonderful day.

💜

[sansxfuckyou]

Defiance is a love story

Summary: After years of never seeing him, Sapnap decides its time to make peace again, especially with his parents new idea of how to help the kingdom prosper.

Warnings: referenced arranged marriage, emotionally tense, heres the Ao3 port with full tags

Authors Note: hi *posts SNF for the third consecutive day in a row like an absolute mad man* rarepair nation wishes I could channel my passion into multichapters instead of stupid fantasy AU oneshots. @sobredunia this is just habit now, I'm sorry but not really that I've actively subjected you to around 30K words of SNF if my memory of which fics I've tagged you in serves me well. Not sure if I should tag you @lasnevadastardly but we're mutuals and if my memory serves me well you're also an SNF fan, so look at this morsel. Anyways, reblogs are always a treat that keep me writing, hope ya'll enjoy this little fic.

Sapnap heaved a sigh as he pushed open the door to the throne room, he was hesitant to dare take a step in. He forged ahead, he made it about four feet in before his presence was acknowledged.

"Don't you dare take another step," The voice was ice, but it sounded like childhood, "Why are you of all people in my domain?" A snarl was on his voice.

Sapnap opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, gloved hands holding his tail tightly to try and calm down.

"Answer me," It's a threat, Georges hand flies to rest at the pommel of his sword as he steps off of his regal throne, mushrooms of varying sizes sprout up from the wood. With each step he takes a burst of grass grows around his shoes, occasionally flowers bloom. If Sapnap was a chump he would be intimidated at the power, but he's well aware this is just a bluff.

Sapnap takes a deep breath, "Political stuff," George steps closer, gripping the hilt of his sword, "Really important political stuff."

Sapnap can't bring himself to move even an inch as George keeps inching closer, silently. Two eyes, sharp and mismatched in hue, are trained on the halflings form- the prince simply circles the halfling when he's close enough. Annoyance etches itself onto his face and Sapnap still doesn't move even as a sword is swiftly pulled to his abdomen, he swallows audibly with a hint of fear.

George gives a single chuckle, as he pulls back, "Everyone else would've ran, you're different."

"You don't have the guts to slice open your old friend," Sapnap answered with, his tail tightened itself around his waist if only to stop it from whipping around.

George hums, "True- although, we haven't been friends in a long time."

"Real shame how that happened," Sapnap said, waiting for George to step back from him before he could ease up.

"That's life, now, I'm intrigued as too what political duties could bring you crawling back to me," George said, sheathing his sword as he spoke, he had to crane his neck a bit to catch eye contact with Sapnap, "You've gotten taller."

Sapnap gives a nervous chuckle, "Demon genetics, took a while for them to kick in though," He gestures to the horns on his head and unwinds his tail.

George nodded, "I suppose that made sense given your fire powers."

"Definitely," Sapnap added on, "But, onto more important discussions, the political shit," He took a heavy breath, "My parents want to marry me off for the sake of the kingdom."

George felt every muscle in his body tense at once, it felt like his organs were being stamped on at the sudden information drop. His grasp on the handle of his sword tightened, then loosened once more. The first time he's seen his, well, they're just names to each other now, and he learns that Sapnap is being married off.

"Oh," Was all George could muster, his expression was lacking in the way of carrying the emotion behind the utterance, "And they chose me?"

Sapnap shook his head, "They have someone chosen out already, but they said they would give me a week to find someone else," He brought his hands to play with the hem of his shirt, fingerless gloves left blunted claws on display.

"And you came here for my help doing so?" George asked bluntly, Sapnap shook his head again, gaze averted to the ground.

"I came here too ask if you'd be willing to take my hand instead of whoever my parents chose," Sapnap said, his voice was strained as he spoke, it sounded like every word escaping was tying a knot in his throat tighter. He can barely bring himself to look for a reaction of some sort from George, the blank expression hurts a lot. He heaves a sigh, "Figured as much."

He turns to leave but freezes up entirely at what he hears.

"Why me?" Georges voice is cracking a little bit as he stares at Sapnap, his grip on his sword has disappeared entirely. He just sounds confused if anything, "There are a hundred better suitors in the world, you know that Karl would say yes without a doubt Sapnap."

"I know," Sapnap said quietly.

"Then why would you trek all the way out here and risk getting told no instead of taking someone else?" George asked as he raked his eyes over Sapnaps form, searching for any tell this was some sick joke- he found none.

Sapnap took a shaky step closer to George, "Because they don't know me, you do."

"But I don't, not anymore," George said, "It's been so long and you barge in here, asking for my hand, and expect for me to bend over backwards and say yes?"

Sapnap looked at the ground again, saying nothing.

George sighed, "Tell my why your family is marrying you off?"

"We don't have enough fighters for war, our supplies run low and conflict runs high, we need a new breath of life," Sapnap explained, paraphrasing what his mother said, "Or something like that."

George nodded, "Those make sense, now, tell me why you came to me first," It's an order and Sapnap isn't in a mood to be on the receiving end of Georges blade. They haven't sparred in what feels like eternity, but he's heard great things about how his skills have evolved. About how heartless he is on the battlefield, how he doesn't mind a mouthful of blood if it means winning- Sapnap isn't ready to test the tales.

Sapnap opened his mouth to speak, but not much came out, "I miss you George," Another gaping pause, "I don't even remember why we stopped hanging out," He pauses, taking a stuttering breath, "It's been so long but I'd still level mountains for you, I'd still tear open angels and demons alike if you asked me too."

George freezes again, "Really?" He sounds desperate and he wants to punch himself for letting that sense of desire slip out. He misses this. He misses Sapnap.

Sapnap nodded, "Really, it's stupid I know, given how little time we've spent together over the years- fuck man, you're literally the ruler of your domain now! I missed so much of your life," He gives a weak chuckle, "But you're still at the top of my marriage candidate list."

George swallows thickly before speaking again, "If your parents hadn't forced this on you, would you still pick me?"

"Of course," Sapnap answers faster than he can calculate the words coming out of his mouth, "I'll always choose you," There's a carnality to his tone.

George felt a tangle of emotions blossoming in his chest, thorny and making him ache. He takes a deep breath, "I always wanted to choose you Sap, never got the chance," A light laugh is on his voice.

"Really?" Sapnap asked quietly, George nodded.

"How come you think I'm ruling alone? I was waiting for the moment I could have you at my side again, like when we were young," There's a weak laugh on his voice as he draws his hands up to rub along his upper arms nervously.

"I thought you were joking when you said you'd design me a throne," Sapnap said, his tail tightened around his waist painfully so.

George shook his head, "The offers still open, I've always wanted to choose you," He brings himself closer to Sapnap, chests nearly flush against each other, "And now I can."

Sapnap is bright red, from his neck to the tips of his pointy ears, "The feelings mutual then."

George doesn't want to move from his spot, he wants this feeling preserved in glass till the day he dies because it feels so perfect. He inches a little bit closer to Sapnap, he's three inches shorter, at least, he remembers being taller. They were so young when he was taller, and now they have their own lives, their own duties.

Yet here Sapnap is, trying to join them at the hip again, intertwine their fates all over again. It's endearing if anything, the stories didn't lie about the devotion a demon could hold (it said something about grudges but this is proof enough it goes both ways). He knows that they'll get split up all over again with duties that require traveling, but this time he would have a day. He'd have a promise to return to him, and secondly the kingdom, and he's never once met a ruler who strays from the kingdom.

He should know better than this, to just fall back into a chance of losing his friend- they'll be spouses soon enough. He's closed off everyone to avoid getting hurt, and he's opening himself up all over again to the person who jammed him shut in the first place. He gives a bit of a sigh as he presses his head against Sapnaps chest, conflict fills him, this is probably stupid.

But he can't bring himself to turn down the offer.

"Don't your parents hate my domains guts?" George asked as he gently pulled away from Sapnap.

"If they do then they can suck destinies dick, I'll just run away if they try and keep me from you again," Sapnap answered with, his tone serious even with the euphemism, George gives a nod.

"Guess I'm leaving my window open then, better pay me some visits if they decide to trash your choice," George said, hands never once leaving the small of Sapnaps back as he spoke.

Sapnap gives a small chuckle, "I wouldn't dare leave you alone for that long ever again."

[fastrainbowdas]

Adding onto your recent meta about the Pregames, one line stuck out to me. Where you said for the pregames that are supposed to be 'real people' they sure feel a lot more like caricatures. I'm really glad you brought up this point, especially considering the Pregames are supposed to represent the Danganronpa fandom, which is us. I feel like the understand the Pregames better, you need to world-build a little bit as to what their 'outside world' is like. It's heavily dubious what Tsumugi said about the outside world being peaceful and non-violet. With how people people were willing to sign away their lives so easily, the pregames feel more like su//c//dal teens that need a fuck ton of therapy. Many people in the 'real' DR fandom (at least from whom I met) have many personal issues that cripple their mental health and make them turn to fiction as a escape from their harsh life. I mean.........who hasn't thought "I wish I could live in that fictional world?" before?

The Pregames are really supposed to represent us, the Danganronpa fandom. So it actually makes me greatly concerned that people would 'self-project' the 'accepted fanon' of Pregame Shuichi being a sadistic yandere, Pregame Kaede being a nihilistic bully, Pregame Kokichi being a uwu femboy cinnamon bun, etc. It really does come to show that people would put shipping characters into a trope rather than using these pregames as their self-projection canvases

And while everyone in the Danganronpa fandom isn't the same, no version of the pregames have to be either. There's many pregame stories on Ao3, which has probably influenced and encouraged the misconceptualizing of the pregames. I understand that none of them have a canon personality, and since Ingame Saimatsu and Saiouma can never happen canonically, people will turn to the pregame AU to make it happen the way they want it. Then again, it is totally okay to write whatever an author wants, but it does take away good character discussion when the Pregames are boiled down to *insert name's* love intersted

Anyways, sorry for rambling. But yeah, here is my two cents about your essay. Great thoughts and I appreciated reading that very much as a pregame V3 enthusiast

I'm so sorry but you sent this to the wrong person SNGJFDNSZFDJVFGNJDNVJS

@hello-kitty-shuichi-saihara This is for you

But ya I do agree that the pregame characters are supposed to represent us. And deciding the characters' personalities based on tropes and shipping only is really funny when you can just Go Replay The Prologue and see the character is Nothing Like That Trope

Like, in the prologue Kokichi asks reasonable questions very clearly which is very different from uwu stuttering "pwease dont huwt me" fanon pregame Kokichi (Who probably would've been silent tbh). Kaede has a bit of a temper (and so does ingame Kaede) but is still nice to people around her (Shuichi is the obvious one) which. Y'know, if she was the popular bully girl like in fanon she probably would've insulted absolutely everyone without hesitation right? But she doesn't. Yandere Shuichi (Like, unironically) straight up squicks me? Because the way I see it, people decided he's like that because of his audition tape. Like, good job guys, you took a guy ranting about his kinda fucked up interest and decided he's a homicidal maniac who obsesses over Danganronpa and his uwu soft boyfwiend who needs pwotection at all costs. I'm flabbergasted that people don't realize what picture they're painting of themselves, since they're also Danganronpa fans, but aside from that... As someone who also rants abt their interests like that it just. I hate it DJKSANKJDSNFANFDJS

These characters are a lot more similar to their ingame selves than people give them credit for haha

[aroace-cat-lady]

The Extraordinaries

Fuck you TJK and your stupid tendency to make me have feelings. I hate you so much for that.

Anyways, it's 2:50am rn. And talking about this book is gonna take me a long time. Because I absolutely loved it.

Like. I just don't know were to start. The dedication made me cry. The first chapter is one of the most hilarious yet deepest things this guy has written. His foreshadowing is amazing (hate you for that too, Klune). I'm never gonna get tired of his writing, from his representation to his sense of humor.

I do think this book isn't for everyone. I adored each second of it for plenty of reasons: the characters are fantastic, the premise is good and this fucking guy just has a way to make you want to eat the stupid book with just a couple of pages. But what really did it for me was the way he portrait neurodivergency.

Screw you, Rick Riordan (/j you're pretty ok). Nicky Bell is the kind of character I would protect with my life. I wish I was joking. But he's just that. I hate to feel seeing, and normally reading about a character I relate embarrassed me and it's uncomfortable for many reasons but mostly because it doesn't happens too often. But this guy. This guy. God, this guy. It didn't make me feel just seeing. It didn't make me feel like some personality tread. It make me feel... valid?? Idk how to express it. THE POINT HERE IS that reading this goddamn book was like reading a booklet about my brain. Wasn't weird, because TJK didn't made it weird. A brain is a brain even if not every brain is the same. Was amazing. And thank god my biggest hyperfixation isn't a real human being but a book character cuz ohhh Lorde, I would've been just like Nicky.

And the verbal vomit was so relatable I swear to fucking god--

And I read some reviews on goodreads and I stand with what I said before: this isn't for everyone.

I'm pretty use to how TJK writes his books. I know that the first 30-50% is gonna be one thing, after that TJ blows your mind/breaks your heart, then you start crying/panicking, but finally all the pieces fall in their places, and we have a wholesome final chapter, it ends. And then TJK announces Midnights: 3am tracks and you won't sleep 'till 5am.

This works for me. I know it doesn't for everyone.

Now, this is the first book of a trilogy. Which means is an introduction to such trilogy. I trust TJK enough to know the couple of breakdowns I had reading this won't compare to the tons of crying I'm gonna have to go thru while reading the other two parts.

Okay so. I pretty much talked about what I wanted to talk, so now I'm just gonna point out a few things I also loved from this book:

Secondary characters. All of them are incredible.

Plot twist?? Tbh I have never been good to know when a plot twist is a plot twist cuz most of the times I'm like Yeah, called it. And I did called it. All of them. So, yei me :)

Skwinkles Salsagheti. Look, I'm mexican. I took this personal. I'm gonna go full fangirl mood at the store because a white guy decided to put them in his book. I'm serious, independence day don't make me half as proud as it did that his wholesome ship gifted this stupid candy to each other.

Ao3. Tumblr. I don't need to say more.

Seth Gray. God. Nicky and I are the same cuz we both know this guy is the most adorable human being and feel a need to squeeze him everytime he shows up. But I'm aroace and Nicky is Nicky so we had different reasons to do it. But still. Adorable.

References. I have this thing were is curse TJL very loudly everytime I see a reference to his other books. Like, there's no other scenario were I scream YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH as much as I do reading TJK. It's amazing.

Definitely I'm missing some stuffs. But least assume they are cool stuffs.

Okay, so. I have to point out this too: the mc's dad is a cop. Some ppl got mad because of the way TJK talked about cops here. In the "this is police propaganda" way. I didn't feel it like that, but I'm not american. This was published in 2020, which means was written between 2018 and 2019. I'll let you guys decide what to do with this.

To conclude: it's 3:34am my dad is throwing up in the bathroom and fuck you TJK cuz I'm gonna keep reading your stupid books cuz the queer representation just hits different. And they make me laugh so much. And just. Screw you.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Don't hate me

Summary: Harry and Ginny after the end of Chapter 30 in DH. Ginny wants to fight, and Harry needs her to be safe.

DH missing moment

Canon complaint

Read also on AO3

************************************************************************

"A bathroom?"

Harry strode across the room to an open door leading off the Room of Requirement and checked the bathroom beyond. It was empty.

"You're sure they said bath-?"

But then his scar seared and the Room of Requirement vanished. He was looking through the high wrought-iron gates with winged boats on pillars at either side, looking through the dark grounds toward the castle, which was ablaze with lights. Nagini lay draped over his shoulders. He was possessed of that cold, cruel sense of purpose that preceded murder.

-End of Chapter 30, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, JK Rowling

Harry fought with his mind to keep control, and once he was able to open his eyes again, he realised there were only him and Ginny in the Room. The last time they had been alone, he had received the best kiss of his life. Somehow he knew that this time things would go very differently. She had come closer to him when it had seemed he would fall on the floor, but now she was distant again. Her back was on the wall near the door, and her arms were crossed. She was angry, in general, and specifically with him, of that he had no doubt.

Harry's hand was already on the handle, he was resigned to getting out without saying a word, but his traitorous mind needed to sneak one last look at her. Her flaming red hair mesmerized him as usual, but this time it wasn't enough to completely distract him from his biggest current worry. He needed to keep her safe. The hurt in her eyes when he had deprived her of his support with her family was worth it, it had to be. But deep down he knew he was fooling himself, that Ginny would find a way to escape her sanctuary. And maybe that was why he had to say something before he immersed himself in the chaos of the impending battle.

"Don't hate me," he whispered, pleading with her. She tensed.

"Unfortunately, I couldn't even if I tried." her voice was harsh and cold. It made him want to cry. If that was the last thing he ever heard her say, his would be a much worse death than anticipated.

"Gin…" he wanted to look in her bright brown eyes and yet was glad to not be facing her, his eyes firmly pointed to the door in front of him. Otherwise, he didn't know if he would be able to not take her and run away from the hell that was coming. What a nice foolish thought it was. Harry and Ginny, the rest of the world be damned.

"Am I so pathetic in your eyes?"

"Please," he had told her once she was the strongest person he knew, he still had no doubts about that, she needed to know that, "we both know I'm perfectly aware you are a better duelist than the majority of the people out there."

It was true. Harry would've loved to have a practical, logical, excuse to not make her fight, but since when Harry Potter was that lucky?

"Then why can't I fight?" she was angry, but he could take angry Ginny, it was the cold one that made him want to crawl in a hole and cry.

"Because you are not the people out there. Not to me." he wondered how could she not understand that. Should he tell her about the hours spent looking at her dot on the Map? Whishing she was safe? Wishing he could see her again at least one last time? "If something happened to you, then what would be the point in all of this?"

Because in the end, that was the real reason. He wasn't as selfless as everybody made him out to be. He would always choose her over the rest of the world.

"One of these days, you'll have to accept that you are not the people out there for me too. And yet, I'm not begging you to not fight."

"It's different." it was so different. He couldn't be Harry, he needed to be the Chose One. But if Ginny were to be in danger…

"It really isn't." her tone final. He knew he would eventually find himself begging her to come back into the Room, and he knew it wouldn't work. "Oh and, Harry, do not dare die. I'm quite looking forward to the groveling and pleading you'll have to do when this is all over." a small smile appeared on his lips, he really couldn't help it.

Harry opened the door, the shouting from the outside world filled his ears, and while his stomach clenched in fear urging him to bring the petite red-headed a few steps behind him as far away as possible from the battle, he thought that after all, the fact that he would never be able to convince her, was one of the reasons why he was so stupidly in love with her.

[tired-teacher-blog]

Title : My savior/ My demise

Chapters : (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Status : Completed

Characters: Dabi/ fem reader (with a healing quirk)/ other mha characters’ appearances

Genre : Angst/ fluff/ Romance/ NSFW in later chapters/ Tragidy/ contains manga spoilers

Summary : Your once calm and peaceful life takes a surprising turn to the unexpected when you meet the infamous villain Dabi. What will happen when you discover a side of him that no one else knows? A side he only shows when he’s with you. Will your story have a happy ending?

Please do not read if you’re a minor!!

Note : This is loosely based on the manga as I had to tweak some of the events to fit this plot. No major changes though, just a bit to include you in the story.

Explaining y/n’s quirk: You have a healing power; you’re able to extract people’s pain, illnesses, injuries and everything in between with a simple touch. You’re able to activate and release your quirk at will because using it for long periods of time without rest weakens you.

This chapter is NSFW/ +18/ for mature audience only!!!

Masterlist

AO3

Previously

_"Ah~ I smell love in the air." She practically moaned, blushing and wrapping her arms around herself.

What was that? Did she know something? Or was that just her usual psychotic personality?

Chapter 5 :

_ "What was that supposed to mean?" Dabi tried as much as he could to remain calm.

_ "Oh nothing~ I'm just saying the air around you is different these days. You're distracted, and now you're abandoning the mission? Something's happening and I think I know what it is.. I just wish I could prove it." She got extremely close to him and her smile grew bigger.

Dabi said nothing, he simply turned around and left. Thankfully she was just blabbering and had no idea who you were.

Time flew by quickly. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and before you knew it, your relationship with Dabi was nearing its ten months mark.

It hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, you weren't dating a regular guy after all. Your time together was usually cut short and your dates were almost inexistent. You can't exactly have a walk outside or go to the amusement park arm in arm with a wanted criminal, but you were okay with it because you loved him.

The biggest struggle for you two was keeping your relationship a secret from the people who know you. And the task only got harder when Dabi decided to broadcast his real identity to the rest of the world a few months ago.

All eyes turned to him ever since that day.

You obviously were the first one ever to know his secret, he confessed it two months into your relationship. It clearly came as a shock, and it took you about a week to finally wrap your head around the idea. Dabi thought for sure that you would end things with him at that point, but it changed nothing of the way you felt for him. If anything, it got you closer to one another.

He still remembers what you said: "This is interesting, I would've never expected something like that.. but so what? We all came from somewhere."

_ "Nothing really scares you huh?" He breathed out remembering that day.

You lifted your head up from between his thighs, lips glistening and cheeks flushed. You tilted your head to the side confused: "Huh? Did you say something? Am I not doing a good job?"

You looked breathtaking wearing only his black tank top and kneeling between his legs. He took your arms and pulled you on top of him, his hard cock resting against your belly.

You grabbed the couch's headrest steadying yourself, still confused.

_ "No angel, you're doing a great job." He mumbled against your collarbone and nibbled you teasingly.

Dabi has always been apologetic towards you, he couldn't shake the feeling that you deserved someone much better than him, neither could he understand why you loved him that much.

He wished he could do a lot more for you, and it hurt him that you never ask for anything. He adores you more than anything else in life, and he would gladly die for your sake.

You ran your fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head lovingly: "You're overthinking again aren't you?" You know him too well.

He looked up smirking and pushed your head down until your lips met. He kissed you deeply, nibbling and sucking your tongue, and you whimpered pulling his hair and rocking your hips against his.

You were dripping wet at that point and you wanted him inside you.

_ "Haah.. Touya please put it in already!" You struggled with your words as he was devouring your lips.

He wrapped one arm around your waist, effortlessly lifting you up and situating you right above his raging hard cock. He pumped it a couple of times before gently lowering you until he was fully hidden inside your core.

No matter how much you did it, that first intrusion overwhelmed you everytime, and he knew it, which is why he always gives you time to adjust before he starts moving.

His arms sneaked under your shirt tracing your skin, and his lips left yours to latch on to your neck. You tried moving by yourself but your shaky legs failed you.

_ "Touya.." You moaned rocking your hips as a sign of your impatience, and he smiled understanding exactly what you wanted him to do.

He palmed your ass cheeks squeezing teasingly before lifting you up and helping you bounce on his length. You whined and whimpered hugging him close to keep your balance as he pushed himself up.

You bit down on his shoulder to keep yourself from crying out louder than you already were, and only when he picked you up and threw you on the couch did you finally free his skin from between your teeth and allowed yourself to gasp loudly.

He wasted no time and slammed right back into your anticipating pussy.

_ "Uugh fuck baby you feel so good." He groaned into your ear and pounded you even harder, and all you could do at that point was grab onto him and wail as drool and tears messed up your face.

He sat up, fingers digging into your hips to keep you in place while his dick kept railing you into oblivion.

_ "Beautiful." He breathed out running his thumb over your parted lips before sticking it inside your mouth. And it drove him insane to see you unconsciously nibbling and sucking on his finger while your pussy swallowed his dick.

His thrusts became erratic as your pussy squeezed him harder. You were both so close to climaxing at that point.

_ "Touya.. I really.. rea.. really.. I love you.." You managed to utter as you finally creamed around him.

Hearing you moan those words and feeling you grasp his cock drove him to the edge, and he was about to pull out when you wrapped your legs around him, silently asking him to cum inside you, and he did. He buried himself deep into your heat groaning your name until you squeezed him dry.

_ "I love you too y/n never forget that." He whispered against your temple and collapsed on top of you.

You were too spent to move a muscle and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You suddenly felt a cold air engulfing your body and you whimpered as Dabi's heat left your skin.

He chuckled and leaned back down to kiss your forehead: "I'm not going anywhere angel, I'll just run a bath for us and come back to take you." You smiled and nodded lazily.

Those moments were the best, if only they could last longer..

The next morning, you woke up earlier than usual because your boyfriend needed to get back to the headquarters before anyone could notice his disappearance. He asked you to sleep some more, but how could you? Your time together is limited as it is. And at least once in a while, you wanted to feel like you were in a normal relationship with a normal person.

That's why everytime he spends the night, you make sure to have breakfast together before he leaves.

You stood at the front door grabbing his hands. You were both reluctant to let go, but you had to.

And at least you would get to see each other again that night, he promised to have dinner with you.

He kissed you softly and lingered against your lips.

_ "Take care angel, I'll see you later."

_ "You too Touya, please watch out for yourself."

And with that he left.

Your eyes kept following him until he disappeared. Little did you know, you weren't the only one doing that.

_ "Huh, so I was right after all. Oh how exciting~" Himiko beamed watching the fascinating scene unfolding before her eyes.

(To be continued...)

[bronzeagepizzeria]

DOCTOR X ROSE FIC REC GAME

list any number of your favourite underrated doctor x rose fics (any pairing!)—au included, and tag others! because I’ve run out of what seems like every single popular fic and i NEED MORE so if you have some super obscure masterpieces in mind…

MY RECS-

Some of them are on livejournal/tumblr itself, but the majority are on ao3

(*multichapter)

The Quiet Life by marylane23

Summary: The obligatory "The Doctor loses the TARDIS" story, sort of.

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose

This fic is just. Breathtaking. The wording is so simple but it conveys SO MUCH, effortlessly, and it’s one of the best fics I’ve ever read.

Worlds in Conjunction by marylane23

Summary: The Doctor makes a slight miscalculation. Written for Wendymr for the Rose Tyler Ficathon. She wanted Rose making hard choices; the Doctor getting something disastrously wrong - with consequences; & Doctor/Rose romance of some sort.

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose

Same author; honestly op is SO talented and I maintain that this fic is actually better than a lot of episodes on the show. Rose is so, so brave in this, and it’s a must read for anyone who loves the character.

Rest of a Life by misscam

Summary: There is no happily ever after with him. She's learned it. She just wishes she hadn't, that she could live in an illusion of the two of them, for the rest of their lives.

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose

MCD warning. Heartbreaking and gorgeous.

A Cage by @tripwirealarm

Summary: A vignette. "Lust is his vestigial tail."

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose, Tentoo/Rose

I’ve seen this author’s other brilliant works on rec lists several times, and i think this particular one-shot is super underrated. If i had to describe it one word…haunting.

Dodged Bullets (Or The Lives We Didnt Live) by weezly14

Summary: "He wants to say: I would've been a good dad."

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose, Mickey POV

OP is famous for their incredible time loop series, but this brilliant, brilliant fic is almost never recommended anywhere and it deserves so much love.

Only If For A Moment by @mariechambers

Summary: It was then that Rose realized the full extent of the power she had over this man. All she had to do was say the word and he’d risk his job, his reputation, his everything for her. Because, dare she even think it, but he wasn’t just lusting after her. He was in love with her.

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose, Jimmy Stone, Donna Noble

One of my favourite human AU fics—deals with sensitive topics like domestic abuse with absolute finesse.

the world ends eventually so come with me by hippiebanana132

Summary: "There were golden tears running down her cheeks. He should have known. But he’d barely slept since she was here, had no idea even what day it was, what was real and what wasn’t. It was beautifully, wonderfully easy to deny it all as just a dream in those early days. He would never have to stop a dream." What if Rose left a small part of herself behind when she looked into the heart of the TARDIS?

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose, Martha Jones

So, so, so beautifully written—you can absolutely visualise this story and it is also, in my opinion, better than a whole lot of episodes on the show. It’s also quite recent, so you should totally check out OP’s other works!

like this by @weezlywrites

Summary: Time loop. Post Doomsday. “For a Time Lord he’s always had terrible timing.” Except that was pretty much perfect timing. Almost like they’d done it before. 

Pairing/Characters: Ten/Rose, Pete Tyler, Mickey Smith

Another time loop fic, and it is as good as OP’s human AU! Definitely give this one a try.

The Devil You Know* by rosa_acicularis

Summary: Better the devil you know. Rose and the Doctor after Journey's End.

Pairing/Characters: Tentoo/Rose

A really famous author in this fandom, and this fic is by no means underrated, but it deserves all the love because of how GOOD it is.

And after all; you’re my... by sapphire_child

Summary: In the boiling steam and underneath the rushing sound of water he finally allows himself to weep – with terror, with rage. With the utter despair of a mortal man faced for the very first time with his own mortality.

Pairing/Characters: Tentoo/Rose

I’ve rec’d this before, but it deserves a second mention because it is one of the fics that i think about ALL THE TIME. It’s really stuck with me, and I think it deserves so much more love. Content Warning: terminal illness (but there’s no actual death in the fic)

Epitaph by rosa_acicularis

Summary: When she is in Paris, she sleeps in the catacombs.

Pairing/Character: Ten/Rose, Eleven/Rose, Jack Harkness

Again, not really underrated, but I almost never see it on rec lists!! A brilliant take on the turning-into-a-vampire trope that hits all the right spots and another fic that I think about all the time.

[sturkillerbase]

Tag Game

Thank you so much for the tag @scorpio-marionette and @misspearly1

Which one of your fics would you enjoy the most if you were able to read it for the first time?

I actually went back to reread my fics before answering these. I've written several imagines, that's how I started, and only later started writing actual fics. I would really like to have the chance to read Ancient Tales for the first time. I invested so much in it, I researched a lot, I added a bit that was inspired by my grandfather, even though I didn't get to meet him. I was so happy about it! But the first chapter only got 26 notes. And the second only 12, all likes... It was my second year in uni, and I had loads of work to do. So that combined with no feedback made me leave it behind. There are things I would've done better if I were to write it today, but it's still a good work. Sad thing I don't remember entirely the whole story to continue it...

Which fic are you most proud of? Why?

I am very proud of It's All Coming Back to Me in Waves. I'm finally good enough in English to have very little misspellings. I'm more mature, so my writing is infinitely better than when I started; I started writing it with the whole story already in my head, so as it goes I only fix something here and there and then add or take away something. I've been on a down side for the past few weeks that blocks me enough to be unable to write, thus delaying the whole thing from being finished. But I finally feel better and I'll be able to catch up soon!

Is their a work you would like to do over again? For any reason, to perfect it, to relive writing it, ect.

As I mentioned before, it was fun to write Ancient Tales. I'd like to do it again both so I could remember what was the ending I had planned for it and to make it better, give it a better flow. My oldest fics are Memories and Broken. They're poorly written - I was just a dumb teenager - my english wasn't so fluent and I didn't even had someone to ask to be my beta. I think they were great ideas, just badly developed. Both were also abandoned after getting absolutely no feedback :/

How do you feel about comments/reblogs/likes?

I absolutely love them, specially reblogs and comments. I wish I got more. I wouldn't have so many unfinished works if I had at least a few people back then to support me. Thankfully, things are better in this new fanfic era of mine, and although I'm no super famous blog, the readers who stick with me are so kind and supportive! Entering the Pedro Pascal fandom has been one of the greatest experiences I've ever had!

Is there a fic that you were shocked to find other people liked? Why?

Years later abandoning Ancient Tales, I got a comment on Ao3 wondering where were the missing chapters and complimenting me for my research on history. I was so shocked!

Is there a fic you wish more people had liked?

ANCIENT TALES!!!

Also Promises Under the Moon got little to no attention. I had bigger hopes for it :( Apparently people are only interested in Dieter Bravo fics if it involves smut.

Is there an idea that you were excited about but just didn't pan out?

Ok, mix of story time and idea explanation here: I once had the chance to dance with my school crush. He was THE crush. I remember that day so dearly. It was so unexpected and sweet and I was shaking all over once the song ended and I went back home smiling to myself like an idiot. It inspired me to write the same scenario for Bucky, except the fic would have a happier ending where the reader would actually start dating him, unlike real life me. I never forgot it though, but I don't know if I'll ever write it.

How do you feel when you post a new fic?

A bit anxious. I always post it before going to sleep so I won't be checking my notifs every 2 minutes. But I'm always hopeful that it'll have better feedback than the last one. It rarely has though...

Thank you for tagging me again! I love answering questions and these were really interesting!

NP tags: @sakkajagga @thegreenkid @supernaturalgirl20 @mandoblowmybackout @ezrasbirdie and anyone else who'd like to join! (also sorry if you've already been tagged, but do tag me to see the answers, I'm loving to read these!)

[mooniefics]

— gaps of sunlight

pairing : armin arlert / reader

word count : 2.9k

tags : heavy angst, fluff (just for a moment lol), tragic romance, death, hurt / no comfort

warnings : detailed descriptions of injury to the reader

summary : every good thing must come to an end, you both knew that. but armin wished that it didn't have to happen like this every single time.

— originally posted 2 / 1 / 21 on ao3 —

armin had been absolutely glowing.

you couldn't get the image of his entranced expression when you saw the levi squad approaching from atop his horse, flushed cheeks and gleaming eyes framed by fair, blonde hair. he was shining in the light of the setting sun, barely pulling his steed to a stop before he was clambering off of it, dashing over to throw his arms around you. he was so warm, nearly squeezing all your breath out of you as he laughed, a sound full of wonder and delight, a cold, briny scent clinging to his skin and clothes.

"the ocean." he said breathlessly, burying his face into your shoulder, smiling into you, "we saw it. we saw the ocean."

but as the evening had wound down, your friend still seeming to be digesting such an experience as he stared off into nothing at the table during dinner, hands stuck in his pockets, fiddling with something for the entire meal. you'd saved your prying questions until you'd both showered and changed into your night clothes, now squeezed beside each other in the space of his bunk, narrow but just enough for the two of you to share.

"it was everything i always thought it would be!" he beamed, throwing his hands up towards the ceiling, turning his head in bed to look at you, "the water was actually salty, it stung my eyes and made my mouth so dry!!" even in the dim light, you could see the unrelenting gleam in his eyes. "it was so much colder and cleaner than the canal, blue and green as far as the eye could see—and it was frothy and white when it washed up on the shore, i wish i would've taken a bottle to bring some of it back!"

he was enchanting to gaze at, the luster of youth having finally returned after all this time it had eluded him. you'd remembered how he'd cried when he had lagged behind during cadet training, after his first few scouting missions, speaking about the untimely deaths of his family, the nights after he'd been chosen to receive the serum and acquire the power of the colossal. and every time you came to hold him, assure him that his pain was real and it was okay to cry, he would always try to tell you that he would be fine on his own, that everything would work itself out in the end without him having to bother anyone. but he never objected when you would gently hold him against you, whisper soft reassurances and let him silently sob, so young yet so full of such an endless turmoil. to see him wearing such an infectious look of glee was enough to make you smile back just as wide.

"i remember when you used to tell me about it when we were younger." you murmured, "all that feels like so long ago.. i'm glad that if any of us could make it to see the ocean, it was you."

you felt confused when you saw his face flush, smile faltering, looking almost sheepish, arms falling back to rest on his chest. "i'm sorry.. it feels unfair to gloat about it when you haven't even been able to see it for yourself."

there it was—the shy, selfless boy that was always there no matter how many battles or brushes with deaths you both saw. somehow, even after achieving his life-long dream, working so long and finally getting a taste of the joy that life should really bring, he was concerned about making you upset by expressing that happiness to you.

"armin, you're so silly." you giggled softly, reaching over to place your hand over his, "this is the one thing that you've always held onto, from the day that we first met in cadet training and all the way to now. seeing you happy could never make me upset. i'd listen to you talk about the ocean forever if it meant that you kept smiling."

his cheeks were a brilliant shade of red, heart beating fast in his chest, shining eyes large and full of gratitude. he reached into the pocket of his pajamas, leaving the hand under yours where it was, presenting you with a small leather pouch. "here, for you..!"

you took it, pulling the drawstring free, carefully tipping out its context into the palm of your hand. your eyes widened at the sight of something unfamiliar, a pale spiral dotted with rounded peaks, such a detailed creation of delicate beauty despite only being the length of your little finger, the hollow interior a smooth expanse of soft pink, light and fragile like glass.

"armin.. what is this..?"

"i don't know! they're all over the beach, hidden in the sand, but it's beautiful, isn't it??" that enthusiasm had returned, a familiar flutter dancing about in your chest, "i only took two, one for me and you, because i want there to be enough for everyone when we all go and see it together!"

you couldn't help your fascination, running your fingers over every ridge and twirl of the foreign token, cheeks nearly aching from the face-splitting beam that you had no way of containing. but you didn't know if it was this relic in your hand that was making you feel so happy, or the fact that he'd been thinking of you in his brightest moment, held you close enough to his heart that the sole memento he brought back from his trip was for you. you couldn't imagine feeling any other way, lying together, murmuring together, sharing such a rare moment of tranquility with the other now that there was a chance for your people to see past the walls that you had thought would confine you for the rest of your life.

"it's beautiful.." you carefully stowed it away into the small pouch, tucking it into your pocket until you thought of somewhere safe to keep it, turning back to face him, "thank you, armin. i love it."

i love you, you thought to yourself. and, staring into his eyes, returning your hand to clasp around his, you were sure that he was thinking it too.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

paradis' first victory had been secured late into the night.

you'd been welcomed in the airship by your fellow soldiers, tugged into hugs that were almost more unpleasant than comforting due to the clanks and jabs of your gear hitting theirs, shouts and cheers shared in the main cabin over the first step being taken to secure the future of eldia and the island, but all you could think of was armin. you had been shocked when he'd accepted the role of disabling the harbor, your head filled with the memories of his despondent expressions when he was pulled from the body of the colossal, face steaming and gaunt and so terribly miserable.

you remember how you'd felt your heart jerk into your throat at the blinding flash from across the crumbling city that your squad had turned into its battle ground, debris raining from the sky and a massive crater where the buildings that had previous stood were crushed under armin, the sole survivor of the explosion being the looming figure of sinew and flesh that towered over everything below it. it only took you seconds to realize that he was in the private room near the cockpit reserved for the superior officers and the orchestrators of the siege, resigning to impatiently waiting for the duration of the ride home to speak with him.

for the moment, you tried to join in on the celebrations for having survived the night, turning your attention at jean's demand for everyone to quiet down. but before you could respond with your question of why, there came the sound of something rolling across the wood floor, the deafening crack of a rifle being fired, then the heavy thud of something hitting the ground.

"sasha!" connie screamed, a barrage of bullets coming from beside you, and the sharp ping of metal ricocheting on metal.

there were footsteps around you as you fell back, a sudden, searing heat burning across your stomach, through your entire body, knees giving out and sending you tumbling onto your back. though the ceiling was just above you, it was almost an incomprehensible image, the sound of voices shouting your name distant and murky, like your head had been dunked underwater. you barely caught jean's face, twisted with agony, his hands jostling you as he pressed hard into your abdomen, pain flaring dully up your spine.

"that hurts, jean.." you coughed, something warm and metallic coating your tongue, speech slurring, "why are you screaming..? what was.. that sound..?"

you didn't understand the sudden wave of exhaustion that was suddenly blanketing you, heavy lids falling shut, only to feel yourself being shaken awake. "open your eyes, don't close your eyes!" jean shouted, voice ringing about in your head, far too close to be speaking to you so loudly.

"tired.. just let me rest... just for a minute.."

you tried to remember where you were, why you were so fatigued, why jean was apologizing so frantically and pushing so firmly down on your stomach. you tried to swallow down the liquid gathering in your throat, sputtering and coughing, watching droplets of red spatter across jean's pale, tear-stained complexion, arm unable to lift and wipe them away like you wanted to. you forced your gaze to steady, squinting up at the lantern above your head, trying to pick out a coherent sound between the shouting voices and pounding footsteps.

the sight of another person falling into view left you blinking, struggling to focus on their face with the halo of light that had been cast around their figure, the spotty darkness clouding the edges of your vision making it almost look like the rays of sun that would stream through the canopy of the forest where you trained with your gear in your cadet days.

"armin.." you whispered, smiling when you realized that he was there, not minding the full-body ache that you felt when he pulled you into his arms, "are you okay? why.. why are you crying? we—you know we won..? we did it..."

you wanted to take his face in your hands like you had so many times, wipe away the tears dripping down his cheeks and hold him against you, but every limb felt like it was weighted to the floor, the thought of even lifting a finger feeling like a monumental effort. but he didn't speak like he usually did, didn't tell you what was troubling him so you could choose the right words to make him feel better, just stared down at you with wide, terrified eyes, obscured by his bangs.

"your hair.. getting too long.."

it was hard to breathe now, the blood pooling thick in the back of your mouth, eyes threatening to roll into the back of your head with every slow blink. you remember when his hair had gotten long enough to fall at his collarbones, how he'd come to you with scissors and a sheepish smile on one of your free days, asking if you'd help him cut his hair.

you'd always helped him cut his hair after that, even if he didn't ask, just sat him down whenever you saw that it'd grown long enough that you had to start brushing his bangs from his eyes or away from his forehead to press a soft kiss there. you wanted to be there—not here, staring up at him crying with nothing to do, but in the comfort of his tidy room, in his warm bed, talking back and forth into the early hours of the morning until you reluctantly left so you could get enough sleep in your own bed. why did you always leave? why didn't you ever allow yourself to stay?

you let your eyes fall shut, concentrating on that memory of home, the sound of his voice calling your name becoming more and more distant despite how his warmth felt so vivid, the fresh linen scent of his sheets and clothes, the sound of snipping scissors and the soft locks of his hair threading between your fingers, falling away from his shoulders and fluttering down at your feet.

when you crawled into his bed this time, you threw your arms around him, the covers settling around you, protecting you from the world just outside of his door. you were so tired tonight, but you didn't have to worry about keeping yourself awake to make it back to your room—you could just stay here, sleep peacefully and wake up with him to go to breakfast in the morning.

you really did love being close to him like this.

you really did love armin.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

armin didn't go to your funeral—he couldn't.

he'd gotten dressed that morning, showered despite how he'd never felt entirely clean after having your blood soak into his uniform and stain his skin, put on his nicest clothes, and yet he couldn't bring himself to leave his room—not when he knew the service would be starting soon, not when someone came knocking at his door to let him know that everyone was leaving then, not even as he watched his friends begin the walk away from the scout dormitories from his window.

every time he closed his eyes he saw your face, low-lidded eyes, lips and teeth stained red, dying yet only concerned with asking about him. he couldn't sleep without reliving that night, or dreaming of all the moments you'd shared together. he was so angry, so upset that he hadn't been able to manage even a single word to you before you were gone forever, didn't beg for you to hold out until you got home and you could get proper care on a medical tent on the ground, couldn't have even told you he loved you one last time. it was unfair, that you had always been there to comfort him for years and yet he couldn't offer anything in return for all that time you'd wasted on him. he couldn't understand why he hadn't been able to speak, why he still hadn't let you go after you became limp and heavy in his arms and stopped wheezing in weak, strained breaths, why he couldn't even honor you by commemorating your memory at your funeral. he had never changed, he had always been a coward. maybe that was just who he was meant to be.

and despite such a deep, ceaseless shame that weighed like lead deep in the pit of his stomach, that murmuring voice in his head that told him over and over that it should've been him instead of all his fallen comrades, instead of erwin, instead of you, he still numbly trudged away from the window and out of his room. he didn't know where exactly his feet were taking him until he was turning open the knob on a door, taking in the sight of your quarters.

he felt his eyes sting, warm tears spilling down his face as he stepped out of his shoes, letting out a small sob as he crawled into your unmade bed, still waiting just as you left it for your return home. he buried his face into your pillows, wrapped himself in your blankets and shuddered despite the warmth enveloping him. he could still smell you on the fabric, forcing his eyes shut and trying to remember what it was like to feel your weight on the mattress beside him, hands reaching out even though he knew there was no one beside him to pull close.

he couldn't believe it had only been a few days without you, it had felt like almost like an eternity. he didn't realize just how much he looked forward to your presence during the day, waited for your soft knocks at his door to let him know that you were ready for breakfast, or how your laughter and words filled the air at mealtimes and kept him company in the night when you would whisper together in his bed. though the curtains had been drawn shut, there were still small gaps of sunlight streaming through the sliver between the drapes, illuminating your bedside table, letting him see the gift that he'd gotten you all those years ago, unaffected by time despite its fragility.

and he could only cry harder as he took the small thing into his hands, carefully clutching it to his chest, remembering how delighted you'd looked when he gave it to you, gazing at him with such gratitude and wonder. he would've given anything to go back to that time, where the most pertinent matter on his mind was whether they'd one day be able to make it across the sea and not mourning the deaths of two of the few friends he had left after all this senseless violence.

he wept until he had no more tears left to cry, shivering and pathetic as he laid there, whispering apologies that you'd never hear, trying to memorize the lingering scent that always comforted him when you held him close, letting himself fall asleep in your bed in the hopes that he could find a shred of deliverance in a dream where you were alive and smiling, even if only for that moment in his mind.

[donutloverxo]

My moon and stars

**not my gif**

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this is for @our-marvel-universe's birthday! I'm so sorry I'm late and that I'm bad at summaries.

Divider by @writeyourmindaway

Date posted - 26-08-20/Wed

Summary - Steve swoops in and saves your birthday with some stargazing and confessions.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 1386

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You groaned as another person bumped into you, spilling a good amount of their drink on you. They didn't even bother apologizing, probably thinking that you're just a nobody, even though this was your party.

You had never had a huge birthday bash before or tons of presents, you were so naively excited when Tony told you he was throwing you one and inviting the whole city. You felt for some reason, they're here because they care for you or the super hero work you do everyday.

You couldn't be more wrong. Most of them didn't even know you. Your own family and friends, other than the Avengers had failed to show up. Now you could only look at the crowd of people and shake your head in disappointed.

Resisting the urge to punch Tony in his stupid face when he so smugly asked, 'You like the party?'

You would've, despite everything, but he wasn't here. He was gone on some stupid mission. Not that you cared that much. He wasn't yours, he didn't need to wish you a happy birthday or attend your party. You still couldn't help but hold out hope that you'd both stop dancing around each other.

No longer interested in the party where even the people you knew were completely drunk you made your way over to your favorite part of the compound.

You held on to your jacket a little tighter as you shivered, the wind messing up your fancy hairstyle. You looked up at the sky to see so many twinkling stars and beautiful colors, something you don't get in cities. You wouldn't trade this view for anything.

You instantly became alert when you heard someone stand behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see the man of your dreams, your captain, someone you had a hopeless schoolgirl crush on.

"Hey." Was all he said giving you a pathetic wave as you huffed.

Folding your hands over your chest you asked "Where were you? You didn't even tell me you were leaving. Not - not that I'd care why would I?" You stammered as you feared you had just accidentally revealed your deepest secret. "You're not that important Steve!" You yelled in an effort to backtrack.

He furrowed his brows before giving you a stupidly handsome smile, "I'm so sorry doll. But I'm here now. Tell me how I can make it up to you."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." You said dejectedly as you turned around to lean against the railing and continue your stargazing.

"I just knew you'd be here when I didn't see you at the party.” He mumbled under his breath as he stood next to you. You could see him staring at you through your peripheral vision. “What’s wrong kid?”

You winced at the nickname. That’s what he thought of you, that’s all you’ll ever be to him. A Kid. Over the months, you had tried your best to act like an adult, taking some tips from Maria and Nat, to be cool and non-chalant, you doubted he’ll ever change his mind and think of you as a woman or a possible romantic partner.

You shook your head which only made him probe further. “Doll. You’re sulking on your own birthday. You can talk to me.” He assured you putting his hand over yours.

The warmth of his palms and his finger drawing patterns on the back of your hand felt so familiar and comfortable. You tried looked for his sparkly blue eyes best you could in the dark, his pupils blown wide.

“I used to think... I know this is childish but I thought - I don’t know people appreciated me putting my life on the line everyday. And that’s not why I do it obviously.” You had to clarify. You could pretend to hate him but you never wanted him to have a low opinion of you. “It’s just sad that no one sees the work that I do while you’re all so well known and beloved. It’s sucks to be a female avenger I guess” You shrugged.

He gave you an understanding smile and walked a step closer to you as you tried to calm your heartbeat. “I understand. It’s not childish. You deserve to be appreciated. And I can think of at least a couple hundred people who’re thankful to you. All the lives you’ve saved. You make the world a better place.”

“I don’t know how true that is.”

“Well you make my world better just by being here.” He argued.

“Steve,” You shook your head, “You can’t just say things like that! I’m not – it gives me false hope.”

“False hope?” He repeated cocking his head to the side. “I only ever speak the truth sweetheart. In fact I think it’s time for your gift.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you.

You frowned as you tried to read the paper in the low lightening. “Oh... Steve.. you named a star after me?” You looked up at him to see him sheepishly scratch his neck. “That’s so romantic.” You sighed dreamily holding the document close to you.

“I asked around and Bruce told me I could do that. I could even get you a piece of moon but this felt more appropriate. I know how much you love stars.”

He rambled on about the whole process and how his assistant helped him, hoping you wouldn’t see notice how red he was. His gift wasn’t completely selfless. He had an objective, to make you his forever and ever. But he was too scared to ruin the relationship you two did have and lose a precious friend.

Bucky’s words echoed in his head ‘Real men can admit their feelings.’

He cleared his throat “I was hoping –“ he was cut off by your cool lips pressing against his, stealing his breath away. His hands naturally went to your waist to pull you closer to him, his taut body craving the warmth of your soft one.

You pulled away after a beat and blinked up at him. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I thought...”

“No no I liked it. In fact I was hoping to do that.” His fingers traced the outline of your lips.

“Good.” You nodded not sure of what to say next. But it felt better to just not say anything at all and look back up at the beautiful sky in comfortable silence.

Until the whole team decided to ambush you from, you heard Clint and a drunk Tony sneaking up on you, they really weren’t as sneaky as they thought but you still humored them by acting surprised.

“What the hell girrrl? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. But then I was like we can just ask FRIDAY! So we did.” Tony grinned proudly as his words slurred.

You took the beer bottle away from him “Yeah I’m going to cut you off now.”

“What were you doing here though?” Clint asked and you said something about needing air.

Steve couldn’t help but stare at you as you talked to the rest of the team. Feeling a bit of jealousy and even frustration that they all had to interrupt the precious moment you both shared.

“Did you do it punk?” Bucky asked slapping a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Uh yeah. I mean I didn’t – she did.” He replied lowly so no one else could find out just yet.

“Of course she did.” Steve frowned as his oldest friend clutched his stomach, laughing loudly at him. “After all these years you still haven’t changed.” He shook his head and all Steve could do was smile. “I’m happy for you.” He said and meant it, so proud of his friend.

When Steve was finally able to get you alone, glad that your mood had gotten considerably better, you even seemed to be a bit buzzed from the booze.

“You were right Steve.” You said holding onto his arm treating him like your own personal heater as the night got cooler. “Everyone who matters to me does appreciate me. Especially you.” You leaned up on your tippy toes to peck his lips before scurrying off to tell everyone about the star named after you.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm. Comments and feedback are really appreciated! ❤❤