#I would have EVAPORATED

[babsaros]

they talk about testosterone gel like it’s the fentanyl of hrt

[zarnzarn]

(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)

athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute

odysseus: what?

athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do

penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes

odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?

athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.

penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire

athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.

penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment

zeus: where are they going

hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-

[wolke17]

nah I know I’ll never heal from choso’s death, that shit has me traumatized for the rest of my life I’m not kidding

[spielzeugkaiser]

I just had the image of Jaskier coming back from a long day of work, and maybe just collapsing in bed from exhaustion, only to wake up and see lil Roachie tucked in with him and lil Milek tucking blankets around him because ‘papa always does it for him! He can take care of papa too!’ I love your art SO much!!! It gives me all the feeelssssss🥹👏����❤️❤️❤️

[MASTERPOST]

Excuse me while I cry, this was just too cute to not draw, thank you for sharing that adorable image with me!

[freetobeafcknriot]

Once upon a time, there was a young prince who was born in a castle, and there had never been a prince quite like him. He was born with his heart on the outside of his body.

[kakyogay]

gotta stop going from one au to another

anyways br au because yes!!!!!!!!

with dividers because dayum one doodle turned into another and another and another and augh now here I am 2 hours after I originally wanted to post it.

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[spacecasehobbit]

Consider, if you will, an Oliver Quick who goes back to the maze to save Felix not because he changed his mind, but because he never meant to kill Felix in the first place.

An Oliver who had planned to confess his True Love to Felix and then die dramatically in his arms (hopefully with a bit of sobbing from Felix, or at least a few appropriately devastated tears and maybe even an apology for being unable to love Oliver back the way he deserved), and who changed his mind at Felix's very thorough rejection to, "I'm going to live, I'm going to leave, and I'm never going to think about Felix Catton or his terrible family ever again."

An Oliver who wanders around Saltburn after his confrontation with Felix, wading through the fading dregs of his party and all the people who were supposedly there for him but didn't even know his name, because he was trying to take in Saltburn one last time before locking the memories of this summer away somewhere deep enough to avoid for the rest of his life.

An Oliver who has no idea that Felix drank something he'd been handed by his ex-bestie who he hated now, his ex-bestie who apparently "makes his fucking blood run cold," because really? Honestly, Oliver was kinda surprised that Felix even took the bottle from Oliver and didn't immediately chuck it at Oliver's head.

Why would he drink from it??

Except, at some point in his aimless wandering, he realizes that the bottle is emptier than it should be. Except, there's only one way he can see for the bottle to be emptier than it should be.

He'd be already running by the time he finishes registering the understanding that Felix drank from Oliver's poisoned suicide bottle.

And maybe in this universe, Oliver gets to Felix in time to make him throw up, but not quickly enough for Felix to shrug off the effects or be coherent without a trip to the hospital and some serious bed rest. So by the time Felix wakes up, Oliver is already gone.

Though this is still Oliver, of course, who can use any situation to his advantage, even horrifically traumatizing situations where he almost killed his ex-bestie/crush/One True Love. Honestly, Felix "overdosing" at Ollie's birthday party is the perfect excuse for Oliver to leave Saltburn without looking bad to Felix's family!

And the perfect excuse to still get screw over Farleigh, in the bargain.

After all, how could poor little Ollie with his druggie mum and dead druggie dad be expected to stay in a house where his best mate nearly OD'd on drugs at Oliver's party? Drugs brought into the house by said best mate's own cousin, moreover? It'd just be too traumatizing for him!

Of course, it would also be terribly traumatizing for him to go back to his mum's drug den of a home, too... and he did save the life of Sir James Catton's only son, from said only son's own stupid choices... gee what will he do?

Probably accept some hush money from Sir James Catton that could be used to rent himself a nice little flat near Oxford for the rest of summer. Only because James and Elspeth were so insistent that he let them help him, though, if he was truly set on leaving Saltburn with like half the summer left. Let them help him, and also agree not to go talking about Felix's unfortunate little overdose with other people, that is.

(Maybe this Oliver even gently nudges the conversation towards the idea of Sir James Catton using his connections to help Oliver change schools, so as to really lock himself into the "Getting Over Felix" plan. Nothing like nearly murdering your best mate after he finds out you've been lying to him for months and then brutally rejects your love confession to motivate some personal change, right?)

And then consider Felix: Felix whose last fuzzy memories are of Oliver going all crazy at him in the maze only to throw up a bunch and then finally leave Felix alone; Felix who wakes up in a hospital a day or two later to learn that Oliver did in fact leave Saltburn... but only after he saved Felix's life and then brutally threw Felix under the bus to his parents, first. Felix who learns that, oh yeah, also Farleigh's been kicked out again, possibly for good this time, what with his bringing drugs to the party Felix nearly accidentally offed himself at.

That Felix would have gone crazier than Oliver Quick, waking up to all that.

[fishareglorious]

How good do you think is Vertin’s spice tolerance. Discuss.

[queerestqueertoeverqueer]

i-

[katasstrophy]

here’s a little housewarming gift; you never moved out but anyway

karasu who formed the habit of coming up to you from behind, leaning his weight onto you while snaking his arms around your waist and hooking his chin over your head/shoulder

he hums as he studies what you’re doing or what you’re scrolling through on your phone and although he can clearly see it, he asks “watcha doing, babe?/ watcha looking at, gorgeous?” in a low, husky murmur

100% knows what he’s doing too

no wdym i live in ur walls lmfao.

skahevdbdjsjensk what if i malfunctioned what then. of course he knows what he’s doing. bastard!!!!!

his voice is as much of a weapon as his freakishly analytical brain on the field, as his arm that create distance between him and his opponents - the arms that now stealthily nudge you even deeper into his embrace. it’s a weapon entirely designed to disarm you, and it works like a charm each and every time.

as expected, he can feel the tips of your ears overheating from how he has his cheeks practically glued to the side of your face. karasu has 20/20 vision, he can clearly see you just open an article on your preferred news site, intending to catch up with current event - god you’re so fucking intelligent he sometimes forgets what to do with his hands - but now your finger hovers frozen over your phone screen.

karasu lets the deep, hearty chuckle bubbling up in his chest roll from his mouth. he doesn’t miss the little shiver your body involuntarily gives against the toned front of his body. your relationship recently crossed the half year mark, but it seems you’re still powerless against him when he dips his voice in honey and pours it all over you unexpectedly. he secretly revels in it, that you’re so open about the affect he has on you.

“aw, what’s this, cat got yer tongue?” he teases further, but karasu hasn’t been paying close enough attention. you think you’ll never truly get used to the low drawl of his accent, but you certainly adapted to responding to it. you certainly know what crumples his defenses, also.

“no. just thinking about how i could exploit your tongue in much, much better ways,” you fire back, demanding and swift, and now it is you that can’t help the victorious smile twisting your features at karasu’s shuddering intake of breath.

oh, you have a weapon too, alright. and it just might be the same thing as his. he’ll learn to overcome it in time, as well, but for now, it is very, very effective.

[songofsaraneth]

i have decided to get really into Survivor as my next personality trait

[sovonight]

why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now

[pocima]

The most ethereal Raveena for the most tasteful birthday cat @timetravellingkitty 🪷 (♫ Know Better - Janelle Monáe feat. CKay, Seun Kuti & Egypt80, speaking of which… Raveena x Janelle collab when)

[coriander-candlesticks]

I'm trying to get my room sorted finally, and started moving my shrines/altar areas to their proper places! I can't move all of them, of course (my tall bookshelf isn't in my room yet) but it's getting there.

Most of them are pretty bare bones still, but I have at least one thing for every member of the Theoi that I have a shrine jar for (I just haven't cleaned them all yet so not every item is on the altars).

The large shared altar shelf is, from left to right: Hephaestus, Dionysus, Ares, Artemis, Poseidon, and Hera & Zeus. The second is my cthonic altar to Hades & Persephone, on the shelf below the large one. I've got a six-cubby bookshelf that alternates between altar spaces (Apollo, Athena, and Hermes) and books. Hestia and Aphrodite are on the top of my dresser.

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Yeah Asagiri was actually soooo smart for not putting 108 out during pride month cause I would not have survived that

[bonefall]

Trip to the Lake: REDUX

I have been re-planning how cats move between the Lake, Mountain, and Forest for a long while. Since @halogenwarrior​ asked some specific questions about it this morning, I finally sat down and made a 1st draft of the Between-the-Territories map, and a quick guide to the Sundrown Patrol’s Expedition.

NOTE: this is still a rough draft. SkyClan’s territory wasn’t included because it isn’t relevant at the moment, and Midnight’s den is nondescript beach as I’m still working out what it looks like in the revamp... since Midnight is a god now, and should have a cooler den.

(also i considered casually ‘revealing’ this is a world totally unlike our own by having the sun set in the North instead of the West at one point but im not that funny... yet.)

[ID: A map of the territory between the Warrior Cats ‘forest territory’ and the ‘lake territory’, including several landmarks. A Beach and an Unknown Town are labelled purple. The Tribe Land and its Stone Ward, Cave Ward, and Valley Ward are marked in blue. The Mouth of River Chell and Mothermouth are marked in red. The bottom of the map is marked “FARMS” in a purple box. The top of the map is marked “LAKE” in green.]

The Tribe’s waterfall feeds into nearly every waterway in the area at some point, and the Lake is the northernmost point between them all. Just above the forest territories is farms. There is now a sizable wetland below the lake territory, at the base of which is the Tribe’s third settlement, the Valley Ward.

In that wetland is probably more farms, roads, factories, and various types of human structures.

Travel time has been given hard definitions; it takes an adult warrior, traveling alone at maximum reasonable speed (not marathon-running), a full week to go from the Mothermouth to the Lake. That’s two weeks for a round trip.

This journey becomes longer with multiple traveling cats, or cats who don’t know the way. In addition, a lone warrior will have a harder time hunting in the unknown land and be more exposed to the dangers of the wild.

An adult warrior, traveling alone at maximum reasonable speed, takes 2 days to reach the beach. Going to the town is easier; that trip takes a little over a day. Round trips double the time, more cats are slower but safer.

So let’s take a look at the new Sun Drown Patrol Roadmap!

[ID: The same picture as above, but grayed out in color with red dots marking the journey of the Sun Drown Patrol over the TNP journey. They start at the Mothermouth, go north to the Lake, then go west to the Beach, go southeast and hit the Tribe Lands, and end in the Farms.]

Set-up Changes:

The beginning of the journey is a bit different and there are some changes to Bonefall TNP as opposed to Canon TNP worth noting;

Bonefall TNP is split between the perspectives of the Four Tigerkin; That’s Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw, Hawkfrost, and Mothwing.

Tawnypelt is the new leader of the Sundrown Patrol.

Crowpaw is a full warrior before going on this journey. His name was Crowfoot, he requests -Feather as an Honor Title.

Gods are real now; Sharptooth and Midnight are deities for Summer and Spring respectively.

They are starting this trip at the Mothermouth

Bonefall TNP: The Sundrown Patrol’s Expedition to the Lake

StarClan no longer sends them to the ocean. They sent them directly North, to the Lake.

Something happens that sends them on a detour west, to the Sundrown Place. I’m not sure what it is yet; I’m thinking it could be Fallen Leaves (is now Time Travel Hollyleaf) appearing to be a StarClan warrior and completing a time loop, or, Midnight creating a false sign to coax them over because she’s a lonely god who wants company.

From the Sundrown Place, they do a little bit of basic geography and realize they need to travel southeast. That’s when they hit the mountain.

There is no more Silver Warrior prophecy. The Tribe cats help the Sundrown Patrol cross the mountain, but recognize they’re long-lost descendants of the ancient Sun Trail Cats. There’s a happy celebration, interrupted by the resurrection of Sharptooth, a god who has plagued the Tribe through history.

The Tribe has killed Sharptooth before and they’ll do it again. They assure the Sundrown Patrol that they will survive... but the Patrol looks at the graves of the cats who helped them cross the mountain, slaughtered suddenly by what they think is a LionClan warrior. They realize that the Tribe will survive, but there’s no way of knowing what individual cats won’t.

(technically Sharptooth is a European Cave Lion but they don’t know that)

The Sundrown Patrol makes a choice; Do they run home to complete their mission, or do they stay and help?

They unanimously agree to kill the beast. The Tribe says they’re family, and this is what family does. A bit of a moment where the cats of the Sundrown Patrol decide THEY are family, as well.

Feathertail, of course, dies. Crowfoot is never the same. Sharptooth will return someday, but when he does, this time he will haunt the Clans... or at least, the Forest Territory they left behind. That part isn’t decided yet.

Because of all the detours, size of the patrol, and fact it was unknown land, the Sundrown Patrol’s Quest takes well over a month.

The Clans leave, together, shortly after. It still takes coaxing from each member of the Sundrown Patrol to get all of the leaders on the same page, but the extra territory-pummeling helps to encourage Blackstar in particular to be less stubborn.